Dell - Revision history

imported>GirlOnInternet: Reverted edits by Brianisgoingtogethurt (talk) to last revision by Hipcrime

2018-10-30T05:15:51Z

Reverted edits by Brianisgoingtogethurt (talk) to last revision by Hipcrime

← Older revision	Revision as of 05:15, 30 October 2018
Line 1:	Line 1:
		[[Image:Dell.jpg\|thumb\|Dude, you're getting 3 to 5.]]
		'''Dell''' is where you can buy a piece of [[shit]] computer for next to nothing, and then spend about 2,000 dollars upgrading it to make it marginally useful. After that, you have the privilege of spending a week trying to get rid of all the [[Last Measure\|spyware]], adware, and useless programs that come bundled with it. And to make matters worse, if you remove all that shitware, dude, you've invalidated your warranty!

		==Tech Support==

		Dell offers free tech support to any moron willing to purchase their computers. Most of Dell's tech support staff are curry-eating [[Indians]] whom are all speaking in a most very annoying accent sahib.

		==Dell & The International Jewish Conspiracy==

		It is a known fact that Dell keeps its prices competitive by using the internal organs of the [[Chinese]] in its manufacturing process (see: Walmart business model). According to some [[Nazi]]s, this has upset the [[Jews]], who are pissed that they did not think of this first. However, these turdheads aren't aware that Dell himself is a kike, and much of the reason his company makes such a profit is that he's using Jewish business contacts to negotiate cheap deals on kosher parts. The biggest clue given as to just how much of a Jew Michael Dell is was demonstrated on February 15th, 2001, when he unnecessarily fired over 7000 of his employees just so he could donate 40 Million bucks to a Jewish charity. Not one single person "laid off" was Jewish. Still, it proves [[Hitler]] was right all along.

		Dell bought the shitty 1up.com [[for the lulz]]. He also fired most of those schlubs for the same reason.

		==The "Dell Dude" Explained==

		''Dude, you're getting a Dell'' was a famous ad campaign featuring laid-back "cool kid" Benjamin Curtis. It spawned a number of boring [[catchphrase]]s ("Dude, you're going to hell", etc) and is most definitely an [[old meme]]. Alas, the pressures of celebrity overwhelmed Ben and he was was busted for buying [[weed]] in Union Square like a [[noob\|fucking noob]]. He can currently be found [http://evilbeet.blogspot.com/2006/10/dude-youre-getting-quesadilla.html waiting tables] at a Tortilla stand. [[Srsly]].

		==Rise of the Machines==

		[[image:ExplodingDell.jpg\|thumb\|right\|A Dell attaining Paradise]]
		Not content to merely serve as [[porn]] repositories and [[World of Warcraft]] terminals, brave Dell laptops began a campaign of [http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=32550 suicide bombing] against their oppressive human masters. Other Dells have flocked to the [[terrorist]] banner, and have successfully committed [http://consumerist.com/consumer/dell/dell-laptop-burned-down-my-house-235167.php arson] and [http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2006/08/dell_fire.html vehicular sabotage]. As usual, the only defense against this aggression is <s>racial profiling</s> not buying one.

		==Core Dell Features==

		Features of a Dell rarely vary from one another. If you find a Dell that does not have the following features, recheck your brands.

		Prime features of a Dell include:
		*A 366-day working period.
		*[[Shit\|Cheap ass components]] that are guaranteed to [[Fail\|fry]], overheat, and start massive wildfires.
		*A low-end [[Intel]] processor that cannot overclock.
		*Massive amounts of fail and [[anti-lulz]].
		*[[Over 9000]] trial software applications, all of which will explode if you don’t activate them in less than 10 seconds and will make your new quad-core CPU run slower than a 486.
		*Free technical support outsourced in Saturn that make [[Bix Nood]] sound intelligent. (You too can [[Fail\|attempt]] at 1-800-WWW-DELL if you wish.)

		== Famous Dell Reviews ==

		<center>
		{{morphquote \| mqtest \| background-color: white; height: 5em; \| font-weight: bold;
		\|I bought my dell last weekend, sure is great for porn!\|
		\|Wow so much porn on my Dell!\|
		\|Dell is porn-tastic!\|
		\|I hope my mom doesn't see my porn on my Dell\|
		\|I hope my son doesn't know I know he has porn on his Dell!\|
		\|I'm so surprised my Dell hasn't got so many viruses, what with all this porn on it?\|
		\|I love how Dell has <s>no</s> [[Porn\|sharp edges]].\|
		}}
		</center>

		== YouTube ==

		<center>
		{{fv\|Dell\|background-color: white; text-align: center; \| font-weight: bold;
		\|<youtube>DIqkg4Qqyd4</youtube>
		\|<youtube>6lfBB3XhFFM</youtube>
		}}
		</center>

		== Gallery ==

		<center><gallery perrow=5>
		File:Dell Mini PC.jpg\|Mini PC for [[Faggot\|cool]] people
		File:Dell Tech Support.jpg\|''Tank u fer caling Dell tek sport, how cans I hep you todai.''
		File:Dell Hell Yeah Dude.jpg\|Hell yeah, dude!
		File:Dell Is Not Apple.jpg\|Dell wishes it were [[Apple]].
		File:Dell Apple Fanboy.jpg\|Go fuck yourself! Nobody cares.
		File:Dell screen.jpg
		</gallery></center>

		==Dude, Links==

		* [http://www.dell.com/ Dell.com]
		* [https://web.archive.org/web/20100827030156/http://mainecampus.com/2002/10/31/dude-youre-fired/ Dude, you’re fired!]
		*{{twitter\|actorbencurtis\|Ben Curtis}}, (Dell Steve) on Twitter

		{{Softwarez}}
		{{Business}}
		[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
		[[Category:Memes]]
		[[Category:Softwarez]]
		[[Category:Hipster Shit]]

imported>Brianisgoingtogethurt at 05:11, 30 October 2018

2018-10-30T05:11:42Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 05:11, 30 October 2018
(No difference)

imported>Brianisgoingtogethurt at 05:11, 30 October 2018

2018-10-30T05:11:42Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:11, 30 October 2018
Line 1:		Line 1:
	~~[[Image:Dell.jpg\|thumb\|Dude, you're getting 3 to 5.]]~~
	'''Dell''' is where you can buy a piece of [[shit]] computer for next to nothing, and then spend about 2,000 dollars upgrading it to make it marginally useful. After that, you have the privilege of spending a week trying to get rid of all the [[Last Measure\|spyware]], adware, and useless programs that come bundled with it. And to make matters worse, if you remove all that shitware, dude, you've invalidated your warranty!

	~~==Tech Support==~~

	Dell offers free tech support to any moron willing to purchase their computers. Most of Dell's tech support staff are curry-eating [[Indians]] whom are all speaking in a most very annoying accent sahib.

	~~==Dell & The International Jewish Conspiracy==~~

	It is a known fact that Dell keeps its prices competitive by using the internal organs of the [[Chinese]] in its manufacturing process (see: Walmart business model). According to some [[Nazi]]s, this has upset the [[Jews]], who are pissed that they did not think of this first. However, these turdheads aren't aware that Dell himself is a kike, and much of the reason his company makes such a profit is that he's using Jewish business contacts to negotiate cheap deals on kosher parts. The biggest clue given as to just how much of a Jew Michael Dell is was demonstrated on February 15th, 2001, when he unnecessarily fired over 7000 of his employees just so he could donate 40 Million bucks to a Jewish charity. Not one single person "laid off" was Jewish. Still, it proves [[Hitler]] was right all along.

	~~Dell bought the shitty 1up.com [[for the lulz]]. He also fired most of those schlubs for the same reason.~~

	~~==The "Dell Dude" Explained==~~

	''Dude, you're getting a Dell'' was a famous ad campaign featuring laid-back "cool kid" Benjamin Curtis. It spawned a number of boring [[catchphrase]]s ("Dude, you're going to hell", etc) and is most definitely an [[old meme]]. Alas, the pressures of celebrity overwhelmed Ben and he was was busted for buying [[weed]] in Union Square like a [[noob\|fucking noob]]. He can currently be found [http://evilbeet.blogspot.com/2006/10/dude-youre-getting-quesadilla.html waiting tables] at a Tortilla stand. [[Srsly]].

	~~==Rise of the Machines==~~

	~~[[image:ExplodingDell.jpg\|thumb\|right\|A Dell attaining Paradise]]~~
	Not content to merely serve as [[porn]] repositories and [[World of Warcraft]] terminals, brave Dell laptops began a campaign of [http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=32550 suicide bombing] against their oppressive human masters. Other Dells have flocked to the [[terrorist]] banner, and have successfully committed [http://consumerist.com/consumer/dell/dell-laptop-burned-down-my-house-235167.php arson] and [http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2006/08/dell_fire.html vehicular sabotage]. As usual, the only defense against this aggression is <s>racial profiling</s> not buying one.

	~~==Core Dell Features==~~

	~~Features of a Dell rarely vary from one another. If you find a Dell that does not have the following features, recheck your brands.~~

	~~Prime features of a Dell include:~~
	*A 366-day working period.
	*[[Shit\|Cheap ass components]] that are guaranteed to [[Fail\|fry]], overheat, and start massive wildfires.
	*A low-end [[Intel]] processor that cannot overclock.
	*Massive amounts of fail and [[anti-lulz]].
	*[[Over 9000]] trial software applications, all of which will explode if you don’t activate them in less than 10 seconds and will make your new quad-core CPU run slower than a 486.
	*Free technical support outsourced in Saturn that make [[Bix Nood]] sound intelligent. (You too can [[Fail\|attempt]] at 1-800-WWW-DELL if you wish.)

	~~== Famous Dell Reviews ==~~

	~~<center>~~
	~~{{morphquote \| mqtest \| background-color: white; height: 5em; \| font-weight: bold;~~
	~~\|I bought my dell last weekend, sure is great for porn!\|~~
	~~\|Wow so much porn on my Dell!\|~~
	~~\|Dell is porn-tastic!\|~~
	~~\|I hope my mom doesn't see my porn on my Dell\|~~
	~~\|I hope my son doesn't know I know he has porn on his Dell!\|~~
	~~\|I'm so surprised my Dell hasn't got so many viruses, what with all this porn on it?\|~~
	~~\|I love how Dell has <s>no</s> [[Porn\|sharp edges]].\|~~
	}}
	~~</center>~~

	~~== YouTube ==~~

	~~<center>~~
	~~{{fv\|Dell\|background-color: white; text-align: center; \| font-weight: bold;~~
	~~\|<youtube>DIqkg4Qqyd4</youtube>~~
	~~\|<youtube>6lfBB3XhFFM</youtube>~~
	}}
	~~</center>~~

	~~== Gallery ==~~

	~~<center><gallery perrow=5>~~
	~~File:Dell Mini PC.jpg\|Mini PC for [[Faggot\|cool]] people~~
	~~File:Dell Tech Support.jpg\|''Tank u fer caling Dell tek sport, how cans I hep you todai.''~~
	~~File:Dell Hell Yeah Dude.jpg\|Hell yeah, dude!~~
	~~File:Dell Is Not Apple.jpg\|Dell wishes it were [[Apple]].~~
	~~File:Dell Apple Fanboy.jpg\|Go fuck yourself! Nobody cares.~~
	~~File:Dell screen.jpg~~
	~~</gallery></center>~~

	~~==Dude, Links==~~

	* [http://www.dell.com/ Dell.com]
	* [https://web.archive.org/web/20100827030156/http://mainecampus.com/2002/10/31/dude-youre-fired/ Dude, you’re fired!]
	*{{twitter\|actorbencurtis\|Ben Curtis}}, (Dell Steve) on Twitter

	~~{{Softwarez}}~~
	~~{{Business}}~~
	~~[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]~~
	~~[[Category:Memes]]~~
	~~[[Category:Softwarez]]~~
	~~[[Category:Hipster Shit]]~~

imported>Hipcrime: links

2016-01-03T16:23:44Z

links

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:23, 3 January 2016
Line 70:		Line 70:

	* [http://www.dell.com/ Dell.com]		* [http://www.dell.com/ Dell.com]
	* [http://mainecampus.com/2002/10/31/dude-youre-fired/ Dude, you’re fired!]		* [https://web.archive.org/web/20100827030156/http://mainecampus.com/2002/10/31/dude-youre-fired/ Dude, you’re fired!]
			*{{twitter\|actorbencurtis\|Ben Curtis}}, (Dell Steve) on Twitter

	{{Softwarez}}		{{Softwarez}}

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-02-09T08:29:51Z

Gallery

← Older revision	Revision as of 08:29, 9 February 2015
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-02-09T08:29:51Z

Gallery

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:29, 9 February 2015
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-02-09T08:29:51Z

Gallery

← Older revision	Revision as of 08:29, 9 February 2015
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: /* Gallery */

2015-02-09T08:29:51Z

Gallery

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:29, 9 February 2015
Line 64:		Line 64:
	File:Dell Is Not Apple.jpg\|Dell wishes it were [[Apple]].		File:Dell Is Not Apple.jpg\|Dell wishes it were [[Apple]].
	File:Dell Apple Fanboy.jpg\|Go fuck yourself! Nobody cares.		File:Dell Apple Fanboy.jpg\|Go fuck yourself! Nobody cares.
			File:Dell screen.jpg
	</gallery></center>		</gallery></center>

imported>Mr Jonzz: /* Gallery */ prow=5

2013-08-20T03:28:51Z

Gallery: prow=5

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:28, 20 August 2013
Line 58:		Line 58:
	== Gallery ==		== Gallery ==

	<center><gallery>		<center><gallery perrow=5>
	File:Dell Mini PC.jpg\|Mini PC for [[Faggot\|cool]] people		File:Dell Mini PC.jpg\|Mini PC for [[Faggot\|cool]] people
	File:Dell Tech Support.jpg\|''Tank u fer caling Dell tek sport, how cans I hep you todai.''		File:Dell Tech Support.jpg\|''Tank u fer caling Dell tek sport, how cans I hep you todai.''

imported>Schnookums at 18:53, 21 March 2013

2013-03-21T18:53:14Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:53, 21 March 2013
Line 2:		Line 2:
	'''Dell''' is where you can buy a piece of [[shit]] computer for next to nothing, and then spend about 2,000 dollars upgrading it to make it marginally useful. After that, you have the privilege of spending a week trying to get rid of all the [[Last Measure\|spyware]], adware, and useless programs that come bundled with it. And to make matters worse, if you remove all that shitware, dude, you've invalidated your warranty!		'''Dell''' is where you can buy a piece of [[shit]] computer for next to nothing, and then spend about 2,000 dollars upgrading it to make it marginally useful. After that, you have the privilege of spending a week trying to get rid of all the [[Last Measure\|spyware]], adware, and useless programs that come bundled with it. And to make matters worse, if you remove all that shitware, dude, you've invalidated your warranty!

	==Tech ~~support~~==		==Tech Support==

	Dell offers free tech support to any moron willing to purchase their computers. Most of Dell's tech support staff are curry-eating [[Indians]] whom are all speaking in a most very annoying accent sahib.		Dell offers free tech support to any moron willing to purchase their computers. Most of Dell's tech support staff are curry-eating [[Indians]] whom are all speaking in a most very annoying accent sahib.