Counter-Strike - Revision history

PooF9 at 14:29, 26 April 2026

2026-04-26T14:29:33Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:29, 26 April 2026
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	[[Image:Fetus_pwnage.jpg\|thumb\|right\|200px\|If you are enough of a [[Furry\|fag]] to play ''Cunter-Strike: Source'', spray this on any [[Christian]] server for epic [[Lulz]]!]]		[[Image:Fetus_pwnage.jpg\|thumb\|right\|200px\|If you are enough of a [[Furry\|fag]] to play ''Cunter-Strike: Source'', spray this on any [[Christian]] server for epic [[Lulz]]!]]
	* Find a server with a stable population and, at best, all weapons available.		* Find a server with a stable population and, at best, all weapons available.
	* Give yourself an incredibly stupid or literal name that describes what you're doing in the game. For example: "Camping_Carl" (Known from the old {{newgrounds\|59679\|Counter-Stick Flashmovie series}} on [[Newgrounds]])		* Give yourself an incredibly stupid or literal name that describes what you're doing in the game. For example: "Camping_Carl" (Known from the old {{newgrounds\|p\|59679\|Counter-Stick Flashmovie series}} on [[Newgrounds]])
	* Get guns that are normally shunned: AWP, automatic sniper rifles or the riot shield.		* Get guns that are normally shunned: AWP, automatic sniper rifles or the riot shield.
	* In this literal example, do exactly what your name implies. Camp everywhere, and do it hard. Camp in corners of the map where nobody normally goes, (like far away from the bomb spot, but still in a place that allows killing).		* In this literal example, do exactly what your name implies. Camp everywhere, and do it hard. Camp in corners of the map where nobody normally goes, (like far away from the bomb spot, but still in a place that allows killing).

LuckyNumber: /* See Also */

2025-01-08T01:13:37Z

imported>Killerratte at 20:06, 20 December 2023

2023-12-20T20:06:31Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 20:06, 20 December 2023
(No difference)

imported>Killerratte at 20:06, 20 December 2023

2023-12-20T20:06:31Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:06, 20 December 2023
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	{{spoiler\|CS:GO IS ~~FREE 2 PLAY~~ NOW WITH ~~MILLIONS OF NEW~~ CHEATERS!}}		{{spoiler\|CS:GO WAS REPLACED WITH CS2 AND IS NOW FILLED WITH MORE CHEATERS AND SCAMMERS THAN EVER BEFORE!}}

	[[File:Counterstrike logo parody.png\|center\|650px\|CYKA BLIET!]]		[[File:Counterstrike logo parody.png\|center\|650px\|CYKA BLIET!]]
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	Of the known sub-human population that is stuck with this game series, there are approximately 30% [[turks\|"Germans"]] who play it. The remaining 70% are slavs and other outcasts. It's really easy to bring them to rage: [[Mic spamming\|micspam]] should be enough. Giving the enemy team a free AWP also works.		Of the known sub-human population that is stuck with this game series, there are approximately 30% [[turks\|"Germans"]] who play it. The remaining 70% are slavs and other outcasts. It's really easy to bring them to rage: [[Mic spamming\|micspam]] should be enough. Giving the enemy team a free AWP also works.

	'''~~FUNT~~ FACT''': Playing this shite requires being a hyper-competitive spastic and looking like [[Brian Peppers]].		'''FUN FACT''': Playing this shite requires being a hyper-competitive spastic and looking like [[Brian Peppers]].

	== Gameplay ==		== Gameplay ==

imported>Lazy: /* The crate market offensive */

2022-07-12T13:54:31Z

The crate market offensive

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:54, 12 July 2022
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	[[File:Counterstrike in the trash.jpg\|300px\|right\|thumb\|<center>This guy knew it all along</center>]]		[[File:Counterstrike in the trash.jpg\|300px\|right\|thumb\|<center>This guy knew it all along</center>]]

	On early August 2013, these '''horrifying pictures''' were unleashed to the world. After hearing of rumors for CS:GO to go free to play several months ago, it went quiet ... too quiet, as we know now that Valve had plans that could threaten the structure of the very universe. During the first days, lucky [[nerds]] were able to obtain some of these crates and sell them on the steam market for up to 10 dollars per piece. Of course they're pretty much worthless now. CS:GO has changed. Forever.		In early August 2013, these '''horrifying pictures''' were unleashed on the world. After hearing rumors for CS:GO to go free to play several months ago, it went quiet... too quiet, as we know now that Valve had plans that could threaten the structure of the very universe. During the first few days, lucky [[nerds]] were able to obtain some of these crates and sell them on the steam market for up to 10 dollars per piece. Of course, they're pretty much worthless now. CS:GO has changed. Forever.

	CS:GO now suffers from grinding, scamming, account thieves, stupid trade servers and a constant influx of people who can't aim with their mouse if their life depended on it. A shitload of hackers and scammers came into the game and the overall matchmaking balance has gone down the drain with all the smurfs. The quality of new content has significantly dropped, as it all is aimed toward making more money. At this very moment Valve and Gaben are having a circlejerk while they laugh at the amount of shekels they're raking in out of the hundreds of 12 year olds who got access to daddy's credit card.		CS:GO now suffers from grinding, scamming, account thieves, stupid trade servers, and a constant influx of people who can't aim with their mouse if their life depended on it. A shitload of hackers and scammers came into the game, and the overall matchmaking balance has gone down the drain with all the smurfs. The quality of new content has significantly dropped, as it is all aimed toward making more money. At this very moment Valve and Gaben are having a circlejerk while they laugh at the amount of shekels they're raking in out of the hundreds of 12 year olds who got access to daddy's credit card.

	With its current matchmaking system, people will enjoy getting more and more 7 day bans when they come into the situation where they have to kill the Free2Play grandpa who doesn't know how to plant the bomb, but happily buys new weapon skins with his boomer money.		With its current matchmaking system, people will enjoy getting more and more 7-day bans when they come into the situation where they have to kill the Free2Play grandpa who doesn't know how to plant the bomb but happily buys new weapon skins with his boomer money.

imported>Lazy: /* Sequels */

2022-07-12T13:50:11Z

Sequels

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:50, 12 July 2022
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	== Sequels ==		== Sequels ==
	[[File:Counterstrike skill quake.png\|center]]		[[File:Counterstrike skill quake.png\|center]]
	'''Cunter-Strike: Condition Zero''' - CS 1.6 with better textures and models + bots (which were ripped from the game prior to ~~the~~ release, and were freely available for CS 1.6). ~~Has~~ a spin-off ~~singleplayer~~ campaign called the "Deleted Scenes" which was so horrible that everybody denied its existence.		*'''Cunter-Strike: Condition Zero''' - CS 1.6 with better textures and models + bots (which were ripped from the game prior to its release, and were freely available for CS 1.6). It has a spin-off single-player campaign called the "Deleted Scenes", which was so horrible that everybody denied its existence. This sequel should have been a fucking free DLC. That's how much it sucks. In the end, everybody and their mom just waited for CS: Source to come out.
	This sequel should have been a fucking free DLC~~, that~~'s how much it sucks. In the end everybody and their mom just waited for CS:Source to come out.
			*'''Cunter-Strike: Online (Azn Version)''' - Same as Condition Zero, but visually more like Cunter Strike 1.6 to make it suck less. It has some weird new guns and stupid F2P additions. Have I mentioned the built-in drophack?

	'''Cunter-Strike: Online (Azn Version)''' - Same as Condition Zero, but visually more like Cunter Strike 1.6 to make it suck less. Has some weird new guns and stupid F2P additions. Have I mentioned the built in drophack?
	[[File:CSSbrokenHitboxes.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|CS: Sauce's broken hitboxes.]]		[[File:CSSbrokenHitboxes.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|right\|CS: Sauce's broken hitboxes.]]
	'''Cunter-Strike: Sauce''' - The sequel that came with Half-Life 2. Mostly known for its broken hitboxes. Valve later on updated it to the bug-ridden Orange Box engine ([[Team Fortress 2]]), which pretty much made the Steam forums into a warzone for quite some time. Many nerds ragequitted. The update included only minor new things like [[computer graphics\|HDR]], achievements, a kill cam, and an improved scoreboard, which broke the game for many months. The outrage was still lulzy as hell. This game is now mostly abandoned, thanks to CS:GO.

	'''Cunter-Strike: ~~Arcade or some shit~~''' - [[~~why~~\|~~There~~ is ~~supposed~~ to ~~be some sci-fi Counter-Strike edition for the arcades in Japan~~.]]		*'''Cunter-Strike: Sauce''' - The sequel that came with Half-Life 2. It is mostly known for its broken hitboxes. Later, Valve updated it to the buggy Orange Box engine ([[Team Fortress 2]]), which effectively turned the [[Steam]] forums into a warzone for quite some time. Many nerds ragequitted. This update included only minor new things like [[computer graphics\|HDR]], achievements, a kill cam, and an improved scoreboard, which broke the game for many months. The outrage was still lulzy as hell. This game is now mostly abandoned, thanks to CS:GO.

	'''Cunter-Strike: ~~Global Offensive~~''' - [[~~Fiction~~\|~~'''Best game evar.''']] [[wtf\|It was made by~~ some ~~dudes that created a tower defense game]]. It has a 5 vs 5 automatch function and a [[Call of Duty]] brown~~-in-brown color palette, weapon skins and lootboxes. Those are probably the only "revolutions" CS ever went through. Consolefags can play it too, on a completely outdated and never updated version, just like back when Team Fortress 2 was released on the PS3. There once was a cross-play function planned between PC and consoles, but as always, Valve didn't have the balls to try something new, as the ~~console plebs started crying during the alpha phase. Until the lootbox updates dropped, CS:GO was very unpopular,~~ in fact nobody really bothered to play it at all. When the weapon skins were released, a lot of people (rightfully) saw opportunities to make fake money on Steam and use it for other games or even trade for IRL money. This is the real reason why Valve bothered to continue updating this game.		*'''Cunter-Strike: Arcade or some shit''' - [[why\|There is supposed to be some sci-fi Counter-Strike edition for the arcades in Japan.]]

	'''Cunter-Strike: ~~Online 2~~''' - ~~Same shit as~~ the ~~first one but put~~ on a the ~~Source engine~~ to make ~~Nexon's slut models stand out more~~.		*'''Cunter-Strike: Global Offensive''' - [[Fiction\|'''Best game evar.''']] [[wtf\|It was made by some dudes that created a tower defense game]]. It has a 5 vs 5 automatch function and a [[Call of Duty]] brown-in-brown color palette, weapon skins and lootboxes. Those are probably the only "revolutions" CS ever went through. Consolefags can play it too, on a completely outdated and never updated version, just like back when Team Fortress 2 was released on the PS3. There once was a cross-play function planned between PC and consoles, but as always, Valve didn't have the balls to try something new, as the console plebs started crying during the alpha phase. Until the lootbox updates dropped, CS:GO was very unpopular. In fact, nobody really bothered to play it at all. When the weapon skins were released, a lot of people (rightfully) saw opportunities to make fake money on Steam and use it for other games or even trade for IRL money. This is the real reason why Valve bothered to continue updating this game.

	'''Cunter-Strike ~~Nexon~~: ~~Zombies~~''' - ~~Coming directly from worst Korea~~ to ~~Steam, it~~'s a pay-to-win, spyware-infested rip-off of CS 1.6 with weird zombie modes, a stupid map editor, new guns with horrible sound effects and animations and just about everything that could ruin a game, including the UI.		*'''Cunter-Strike: Online 2''' - Same shit as the first one but put on the Source engine to make Nexon's slut models stand out more.

			*'''Cunter-Strike Nexon: Zombies''' - Coming directly from worst Korea to Steam, it's a pay-to-win, spyware-infested rip-off of CS 1.6 with weird zombie modes, a stupid map editor, new guns with horrible sound effects and animations, and just about everything that could ruin a game, including the UI.

	== Teams ==		== Teams ==

imported>Lazy: /* Gameplay */

2022-07-12T13:40:08Z

Gameplay

imported>Lazy at 13:27, 12 July 2022

2022-07-12T13:27:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:27, 12 July 2022
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	[[Image:Columbine.jpg\|thumb\|An exciting game of ''Cunter-Strike'' in progress!]]		[[Image:Columbine.jpg\|thumb\|An exciting game of ''Cunter-Strike'' in progress!]]

	~~'''~~Cunter-Strike~~'''~~ is a series of [[FPS\|massively-overrated online first person shooters]]~~, originally conceived~~ many years ago as a total-conversion mod for the ~~hit~~ online electronic computing ~~internets~~ machine game ''[[Half-Life]]''. Over the years, the OG game has been massively overshadowed by its own lootbox-trading, [[eSports]] faggotry-infested, scammer-filled sequel, ''Counter-Strike: Global Offensive''.		[[Cunt\|Cunter-Strike]] is a series of [[FPS\|massively-overrated online first person shooters]] that began many years ago as a total-conversion mod for the popular online electronic computing internet machine game "[[Half-Life]]." Over the years, the OG game has been massively overshadowed by its own lootbox-trading, [[eSports]] faggotry-infested, scammer-filled sequel, ''Counter-Strike: Global Offensive''.

	~~Known~~ as THE [[Call of Duty\|CoD]] before CoD, ~~''Cunter-Strike''~~ is an easy, accessible shooter for all the stupid cunts ~~that~~ got stomped in Unreal Tournament and [[Quake]]. It's aimed at brainless [[13 year old boys]] and basement-dwelling [[nerd]]s who know it's [[cool]] and the best game ever, pretending that there have never been better alternatives for more than a millennia. Of course, no one could ever ~~actually~~ get that into their empty heads, as until [[Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare]] ~~arrived~~, the game was basically the number one special forces fan fiction ~~material~~. (Please note: If you're playing this game, you are [[gay\|gay]]. There is no hope, other than learning how to [http://www.wikihowl.com/improve-in-cunterstrike-source.html play better].)		"Cunter-Strike," also known as THE [[Call of Duty\|CoD]] before CoD, is an easy, accessible shooter for all the stupid cunts who got stomped in Unreal Tournament and [[Quake]]. It's aimed at brainless [[13-year old boys]] and basement-dwelling [[nerd]]s who know it's [[cool]] and the best game ever, pretending that there have never been better alternatives for more than a millennia. Of course, no one could ever get that into their empty heads because, until [[Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare]], the game was basically the number one source of special forces fan fiction. (Please note: if you're playing this game, you are [[gay\|gay]]. There is no hope, other than learning how to [http://www.wikihowl.com/improve-in-cunterstrike-source.html play better].)

	Of the known sub-human population that is stuck with this game series, there are approximately 30% [[turks\|"Germans"]] who play it. The ~~rest of the~~ 70% are slavs and other outcasts. It's really easy to bring them to rage: [[Mic spamming\|micspam]] should be enough. Giving the enemy team a free AWP also works.		Of the known sub-human population that is stuck with this game series, there are approximately 30% [[turks\|"Germans"]] who play it. The remaining 70% are slavs and other outcasts. It's really easy to bring them to rage: [[Mic spamming\|micspam]] should be enough. Giving the enemy team a free AWP also works.

	~~Note~~: ~~Requirements to play include~~ being a hyper-competitive spastic and looking like [[Brian Peppers]].		'''FUNT FACT''': Playing this shite requires being a hyper-competitive spastic and looking like [[Brian Peppers]].

	== Gameplay ==		== Gameplay ==

imported>Killerratte: /* Maps */

2022-04-10T13:59:14Z

Maps

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:59, 10 April 2022
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	*'''de_piranesi''' - Museum map that is all about shooting people from ridiculous spots over and over again. That sums it up. It's also just Turtle Rock studios showing off their mapping skillz again.		*'''de_piranesi''' - Museum map that is all about shooting people from ridiculous spots over and over again. That sums it up. It's also just Turtle Rock studios showing off their mapping skillz again.

	*'''de_inferno''' - Once a visually good map with red brick buildings with a simple layout, Valve had to ruin it by adding lots, and I mean LOTS of eye candy. As of October 11, 2016, Inferno got a makeover. Now it's heavily CT-Sided. Good job, Valve.		*'''de_inferno''' - Once a visually good map with red brick buildings with a simple layout, Valve had to ruin it by adding lots, and I mean LOTS of eye candy. As of October 11, 2016, Inferno got a makeover. Now it's heavily CT-Sided. Good job, Valve. To prove that modern Valve is completely soulless, one needs to look no further than the first iteration of CS GO's inferno: It had a T starting area with four metal bells that you could shoot, each with different sound effects. So what happened is that some players stayed in spawn to make music by shooting said bells. Suddenly Valve releases ANOTHER version of Inferno and removes the bells except one with a crappy sound, while mocking the players with a drawing of the missing bells. It's like taking the radio out of cs_italy and ... oh wait, that happened...

	*'''de_vertigo''' - Only famous for the hilarious falling down sound. Got a remake in CS:GO, but millenial & generation Z retards were not able to figure out how the map layout works, so it was removed again. Thanks for nothing.		*'''de_vertigo''' - Only famous for the hilarious falling down sound. Got a remake in CS:GO, but millenial & generation Z retards were not able to figure out how the map layout works, so it was removed again. Thanks for nothing.

imported>Killerratte: /* Removed maps from the CS Beta */

2022-04-05T21:20:57Z

Removed maps from the CS Beta

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:20, 5 April 2022
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	*'''de_jeepathon2k''' - Scroll up retard.		*'''de_jeepathon2k''' - Scroll up retard.
	*'''de_railroad''' - Big ass map that was so big, that it gave both teams trains to ride on, because players were too fucking lazy to walk the map. It was all fun and games until you realized the trains fucking sucked, because you could easily be fucked up the ass by snipers. Boredom was guaranteed.		*'''de_railroad''' - Big ass map that was so big, that it gave both teams trains to ride on, because players were too fucking lazy to walk the map. It was all fun and games until you realized the trains fucking sucked, because you could easily be fucked up the ass by snipers. Boredom was guaranteed.
	*'''de_rotterdam''' - Map set in the [[Dutch]] city of the same name. Just plays like a generic ~~shitty~~ defuse map. There really isn't much to say about this one which should set the tone. Next.		*'''de_rotterdam''' - Map set in the [[Dutch]] city of the same name. Just plays like a generic defuse map. There really isn't much to say about this one - which should set the tone. Next.
	*'''de_vegas''' - Scroll up retard.		*'''de_vegas''' - Scroll up retard.

	~~Assasination~~ maps:		Assassination maps:

	*'''as_forest''' - Players ~~can~~ go innawoods and kill each other in the VIP zone. You ~~can~~ also get a free haircut by jumping into the helicopter blade.		*'''as_forest''' - Players could go innawoods and kill each other in the VIP zone. You could also get a free haircut by jumping into the helicopter blade.
	*'''as_highrise''' - The mapper was austistic enough to make the T spawn right next to the VIP escape zone so Ts can just camp and rape the CTs by surprise. Just like in every other assasination map.		*'''as_highrise''' - The mapper was austistic enough to make the T spawn right next to the VIP escape zone so Ts can just camp and rape the CTs by surprise. Just like in every other assasination map.
	*'''as_riverside''' - Another shitty unbalanced as fuck map where the Ts can just snipe the VIP and the CTs in like 2 fucking seconds. Notice a recurring theme here? CTs were also able to ride boats, which they promptly got sniped out of.		*'''as_riverside''' - Another shitty, unbalanced as fuck map where the Ts can just snipe the VIP and the CTs in like 2 fucking seconds. Notice a recurring theme here? CTs were also able to ride boats, which they promptly got sniped out of.
	*'''as_tundra''' - Probably the least cancerous assasination map but that's still not saying much. Takes place in [[Alaska]] and is horribly inaccurate to the real place because [[Sarah Palin]] isn't in the map.		*'''as_tundra''' - Probably the least cancerous assasination map but that's still not saying much. Takes place in [[Alaska]] and is horribly inaccurate to the real place because [[Sarah Palin]] isn't in the map.

	Escape maps:		Escape maps:
	There was a fourth ~~shitty~~ gamemode that was so AIDS inducing it didn't even survive into the ~~full~~ game. The terrorists ~~have~~ to escape the map but ~~can~~'t buy any weapons or equipment ~~but can pickup~~ weapons scattered around the map. The ~~cunter~~-~~terrorists~~ on the other hand ~~can~~ buy as much shit as they ~~want~~ and ~~fucking anhiliate~~ the ~~terrorists~~ with their pea shooter glocks in 1 nanosecond. [[Sarcasm\|Sounds like so much fun!]]		There was a fourth, horrible gamemode that was so AIDS inducing it didn't even survive into the final game. The terrorists had to escape the map, but couldn't buy any weapons or equipment and were instead able to pick up weapons scattered around the map. The Cunter-Terrorists on the other hand could buy as much shit as they wanted and annihilated the Terrorists with their pea shooter glocks in 1 nanosecond. [[Sarcasm\|Sounds like so much fun!]]

	*'''es_jail''' - The terrorists have to escape from jail for tax evasion until they get raped by the camping CTs. Players actually liked this map because of its believeable setting.		*'''es_jail''' - The terrorists have to escape from jail for tax evasion until they get raped by the camping CTs. Players actually liked this map because of its believeable setting.

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:13, 8 January 2025
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	== See Also ==		== See Also ==
			* [[Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]] - They played it IRL in 1999.
	* [[Steam]] - What it runs on, aside from consoles.		* [[Steam]] - What it runs on, aside from consoles.
	* [[Gamer Countries\|Gamer Countries]] - The human garbage you will encounter in this game.		* [[Gamer Countries\|Gamer Countries]] - The human garbage you will encounter in this game.

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:40, 12 July 2022
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	In ''Cunter-Strike'', you have the option of rolling between two factions, picking either the [[Terrorist]] or [[Military#Special forces\|Cunter-Terrorist]] team. If you play matchmaking in CS:GO, you'll have no choice at all and you'll be thrown in randomly.		In ''Cunter-Strike'', you have the option of rolling between two factions, picking either the [[Terrorist]] or [[Military#Special forces\|Cunter-Terrorist]] team. If you play matchmaking in CS:GO, you'll have no choice at all and you'll be thrown in randomly.

	The map you play on is usually some third-world shithole, since settings with original ideas are usually avoided at all costs by both developers and the playerbase. The objective of the game is to annoy your fellow players as much as possible, while avoiding ~~to get~~ shot. Several tactics to accomplish this goal include:		The map you play on is usually some third-world shithole, since settings with original ideas are usually avoided at all costs by both developers and the playerbase. The objective of the game is to annoy your fellow players as much as possible while avoiding getting shot. Several tactics to accomplish this goal include:

	*Assuming anyone ~~that manages to kill~~ you ~~is using~~ cheat engines ("[[hack\|hax]]") or ("[[smurf\|smurf]]").		*Assuming that anyone who kills you uses cheat engines ("[[hack\|hax]]") or ("[[smurf\|smurf]]").
	*Using the "AWP" / "Autosniper" to watch the nerds rage.		*Using the "AWP" or "Autosniper" to watch the nerds rage.
	*Making ~~sure~~ that you do always take the [[Drama bomb\|bomb]], but never ~~EVER~~ plant it, ~~but~~ instead ~~throw~~ it into a hole where ~~nobody~~ can reach it.		*Making certain that you always take the [[Drama bomb\|bomb]], but never, ever plant it, instead throwing it into a hole where no one can reach it.
	*Blatantly cheating by seeing through walls, [[Autofellatio\|auto-blowing]] people's brains out, and running at the speed of light. ~~Insult~~ everyone who calls you out until you get a VACation.		*Blatantly cheating by seeing through walls, [[Autofellatio\|auto-blowing]] people's brains out, and running at the speed of light. Insult everyone who calls you out until you get a VACation.
	*Throwing intentionally racist slurs every two seconds.		*Throwing intentionally racist slurs every two seconds.
	*Constantly moving ~~infront~~ of / blocking the movement of other players, best done by blocking their retreat path, while they're getting owned by the opposition.		*Constantly moving in front of/blocking the movement of other players, best done by blocking their retreat path while they're getting owned by the opposition.
	*[[Headshot]] other players constantly (without actually cheating). Be sure to [[piss]] yourself ~~in joy after accomplishing said headshots~~.		*[[Headshot]] other players constantly (without actually cheating). After completing the headshots, make sure to [[piss]] yourself with delight.
	*Showing some actual [[skillz]]. This will enrage the other players so much that it's likely you'll be kicked / banned.		*Showing some actual [[skillz]]. This will enrage the other players so much that it's likely you'll be kicked or banned.
	*Damaging and killing your teammates for the lulz. Then watch them retaliate and receive long-term bans by either the admin or an automated kick-system.		*Damaging and killing your teammates for the lulz. Then watch them retaliate and receive long-term bans by either the admin or an automated kick-system.
	*Creating in-game "sprays" out of random images in your [[pr0n]] collection, preferably of a large [[penis]] or [[fag]]. You can use these distractions ~~for~~ your own advantage. '''Unfortunately spraying your own images doesn't work in CS:GO'''. ~~Can~~'t have [[Goatse]] in ~~muh~~ million dollar ~~tourneys :(~~.		*Creating in-game "sprays" out of random images in your [[pr0n]] collection, preferably of a large [[penis]] or [[fag]]. You can use these distractions to your own advantage. '''Unfortunately, spraying your own images doesn't work in CS:GO'''. I can't have [[Goatse]] in any of my million-dollar tournaments 🥺 .
	*Initiating vote_bans on the first name you see in a crowded server, which everyone always votes yes to.		*Initiating vote_bans on the first name you see on a crowded server, which everyone always votes yes to.
	*Playing for 16 hours a day for years on end, then ridiculing [[n00bs]] for not having the reflexes of a cyborg.		*Playing for 16 hours a day for years on end, then ridiculing [[n00bs]] for not having the reflexes of a cyborg.
	*Telling 12 year olds that the F10 key provides free weapons.		*Telling 12 year olds that the F10 key provides free weapons.
	*Using a flashbang grenade to blind players just before they enter combat, making sure the other team is not blinded / throwing smoke grenades in front of snipers / throwing grenades at your teammates (a form of passive-aggressive team-killing) if friendly fire is on. For quicker teamflashes, type in '''''bind f "buy flashbang"''''' in the command console before entering a game. This allows you to instantly buy flash grenades by simply pressing the f key instead of navigating the weapon menu. ~~You~~ can change the binding key as well as grenade type ~~by altering this code~~.		*Using a flashbang grenade to blind players just before they enter combat, making sure the other team is not blinded; throwing smoke grenades in front of snipers; throwing grenades at your teammates (a form of passive-aggressive team-killing) if friendly fire is on. For quicker teamflashes, type in '''''bind f "buy flashbang"''''' in the command console before entering a game. This allows you to instantly buy flash grenades by simply pressing the f key instead of navigating through the weapon menu. By altering this code, you can change the binding key as well as the grenade type.
	*Bind the "kill" command to one of your keys and use it in competitive games when you are the last man standing, then come up with a bullshit reason for your death.		*Bind the "kill" command to one of your keys and use it in competitive games when you are the last man standing, then come up with a bullshit reason for your death.

	Bonus points are awarded if you have access to a headset, since then you can annoy the fuck out of everyone with your prepubescent nasal whining. You can also simply hold down the talk button and play incredibly annoying music over the channel, or hold an electric razor to it. An even more effective way is to use micspam tools. These programs allow you to play annoying sound / music files from your collection over the microphone with the touch of a button, without the need for a stereo-equipped iPod or even a headset. For even moar damage, type '''''setinfo name ""''''' (with two quotation marks, not four apostrophes) in the command console before entering a server. This changes your username to "unconnected", which prevents you from being shown in the other players' mute menus.		Bonus points are awarded if you have access to a headset, since then you can annoy the fuck out of everyone with your prepubescent nasal whining. You can also simply hold down the talk button and play incredibly annoying music over the channel, or hold an electric razor to it. An even more effective way is to use micspam tools. These programs allow you to play annoying sound or music files from your collection over the microphone with the touch of a button, without the need for a stereo-equipped iPod or even a headset. For even moar damage, type '''''setinfo name ""''''' (with two quotation marks, not four apostrophes) in the command console before entering a server. This changes your username to "unconnected", which prevents you from being shown in the other players' mute menus.

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