Cops - Revision history

Cheetah: /* Attorneys are usually no Better */

2026-02-27T00:34:57Z

Attorneys are usually no Better

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:34, 27 February 2026
Line 207:		Line 207:
	[http://archive.fo/GfyQi So, if you see a pig in Philly ask him if he actually knows the lawls it's his job to enforce.]		[http://archive.fo/GfyQi So, if you see a pig in Philly ask him if he actually knows the lawls it's his job to enforce.]

	== Attorneys are ~~usually~~ no Better ==		== Attorneys are Usually no Better ==
	Many attorneys claim in billboard campaigns claim you can make zillions MOAR money if you have been unfairly assaulted by police. Unless your life was [[not you\|seriously ruined]], they will talk about how much they support you, then ask for 2000 Shekels for 5 minutes of work that your LLM could have done in the first place for five bucks :p. Then, they claim that they can't do anything else.		Many attorneys claim in billboard campaigns claim you can make zillions MOAR money if you have been unfairly assaulted by police. Unless your life was [[not you\|seriously ruined]], they will talk about how much they support you, then ask for 2000 Shekels for 5 minutes of work that your LLM could have done in the first place for five bucks :p. Then, they claim that they can't do anything else.

Cheetah: /* Attorneys are usually no Better */

2026-02-27T00:34:04Z

Attorneys are usually no Better

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:34, 27 February 2026
Line 208:		Line 208:

	== Attorneys are usually no Better ==		== Attorneys are usually no Better ==
	Many attorneys claim in billboard campaigns claim you can make zillions MOAR money if you have been unfairly assaulted by police. Unless your life was [[not you\|seriously ruined]], they will talk about how much they support you, then ask for 2000 Shekels for 5 minutes of work that your LLM could have done in the first place. :p Then, they claim that they can't do anything else.		Many attorneys claim in billboard campaigns claim you can make zillions MOAR money if you have been unfairly assaulted by police. Unless your life was [[not you\|seriously ruined]], they will talk about how much they support you, then ask for 2000 Shekels for 5 minutes of work that your LLM could have done in the first place for five bucks :p. Then, they claim that they can't do anything else.

	== Galleries ==		== Galleries ==

Cheetah: /* Philly Cops Haet Internets */

2026-02-27T00:33:37Z

Philly Cops Haet Internets

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:33, 27 February 2026
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	[http://www.foxbusiness.com/on-air/stossel/blog/2011/05/16/philly-police-harass-threaten-shoot-man-legally-carrying-gun As mentioned here] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-vUYeJXSrA and seen on jewtube], it seems that Philadelphia cops hate youtube.<br>		[http://www.foxbusiness.com/on-air/stossel/blog/2011/05/16/philly-police-harass-threaten-shoot-man-legally-carrying-gun As mentioned here] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-vUYeJXSrA and seen on jewtube], it seems that Philadelphia cops hate youtube.<br>
	[http://archive.fo/GfyQi So, if you see a pig in Philly ask him if he actually knows the lawls it's his job to enforce.]		[http://archive.fo/GfyQi So, if you see a pig in Philly ask him if he actually knows the lawls it's his job to enforce.]

			== Attorneys are usually no Better ==
			Many attorneys claim in billboard campaigns claim you can make zillions MOAR money if you have been unfairly assaulted by police. Unless your life was [[not you\|seriously ruined]], they will talk about how much they support you, then ask for 2000 Shekels for 5 minutes of work that your LLM could have done in the first place. :p Then, they claim that they can't do anything else.

	== Galleries ==		== Galleries ==

imported>Loldongs at 05:23, 13 March 2024

2024-03-13T05:23:53Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 05:23, 13 March 2024
(No difference)

imported>Loldongs at 05:23, 13 March 2024

2024-03-13T05:23:53Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:23, 13 March 2024
Line 179:		Line 179:
	*[[Protip]]: '''Don't be an idiot''' around cops. Smoking out, throwing a brick through a window and writing a bad word on a wall doesn't make you a hardened criminal. Lay off the weed and wash your Che shirt once in awhile because no matter how bad you think the police are, be glad that you are being arrested in the U.S. and not in our closest neighbor of [[Mexico]] where the cops are literally criminals with badges and are only arresting you for the ransom they think your parents will pay. For the [[lulz]] it could even be [[Cuba]] where it's still believed that if you were really innocent, you wouldn't have confessed during that 3 day police beating.		*[[Protip]]: '''Don't be an idiot''' around cops. Smoking out, throwing a brick through a window and writing a bad word on a wall doesn't make you a hardened criminal. Lay off the weed and wash your Che shirt once in awhile because no matter how bad you think the police are, be glad that you are being arrested in the U.S. and not in our closest neighbor of [[Mexico]] where the cops are literally criminals with badges and are only arresting you for the ransom they think your parents will pay. For the [[lulz]] it could even be [[Cuba]] where it's still believed that if you were really innocent, you wouldn't have confessed during that 3 day police beating.

	* ~~Finally, make~~ sure you actually know your rights, and the rights of the cop you're dealing with. These change state-by-state, and country-by-country, and it's most certainly not the best idea to take legal advice at face value from the [[Alcoholic\|dashing rogues]] here at ED. We'll help you score on the cops because it's funny to watch some bacon sizzle, but we don't actually give a fuck about you and most certainly are [[X is not your personal army\|not your personal army]]: if you overstep your boundaries and get [[George Floyd\|Floyded]] for the trouble, we're not going to lift a finger to help, nor will anyone feel bad for you. Odds are all we'll do is point and laugh, and ''maybe'' write an article about you if your "finest hour" was particularly lulzy. Never forget the only people who win the ghetto lottery are niggers, and even ''then'' it's their family who get payouts and free shit, and their community who pretend to care to use the "tragedy" as an excuse to riot, while the "victim" -- you -- get tossed in a ditch.		* Make sure you actually know your rights, and the rights of the cop you're dealing with. These change state-by-state, and country-by-country, and it's most certainly not the best idea to take legal advice at face value from the [[Alcoholic\|dashing rogues]] here at ED. We'll help you score on the cops because it's funny to watch some bacon sizzle, but we don't actually give a fuck about you and most certainly are [[X is not your personal army\|not your personal army]]: if you overstep your boundaries and get [[George Floyd\|Floyded]] for the trouble, we're not going to lift a finger to help, nor will anyone feel bad for you. Odds are all we'll do is point and laugh, and ''maybe'' write an article about you if your "finest hour" was particularly lulzy. Never forget the only people who win the ghetto lottery are niggers, and even ''then'' it's their family who get payouts and free shit, and their community who pretend to care to use the "tragedy" as an excuse to riot, while the "victim" -- you -- get tossed in a ditch.

			* And finally, if your I.Q. is higher than two digits and you can read, you'll notice [[TLDR\|all of this can be summed up as succinctly]] as "don't say anything stupid and don't be a stupid cunt." As fun as it is to believe there is some racist classist police state machine to keep down the oppressed, especially when you're an [[Niggers\|edgy]] [[Antifa\|paranoid]] [[Injuns\|attention-grubbing]] [[White Trash\|retard]], or when you get to watch someone who believes this [[Police Brutality\|get their clock cleaned]], the fact of the matter is [[NORPs\|doughy middle-class dweebs from the suburbs]] generally don't say and do the kinds of things that bring the flabby arm of the law down on them. Guess what? It turns out being a boring fuck who doesn't carry a piece down his pants, deal drugs, stagger down the street drunk or high, steal, vandalize, riot, loot, beat his wife, collect [[CP]], or antagonize the badge-wearing schoolyard bullies who can beat and arrest their asses, and instead has a job, doesn't start shit, and minds his Ps and Qs when dealing with the law, is likely to go their whole life without ever even ''speaking'' to a cop, let alone needing to be taught how to deal with one. Cops are assholes for sure, but that doesn't automatically mean the stupid pricks who run afoul of them are goddamned Robin Hood fighting some kind of good fight. In other words people get fucked with by cops for the exact same reasons [[Lolcows]] get fucked with by [[Trolls]]: [[Truth\|they are easy targets who say and do retarded things when saying and doing nothing would have solved everything]].

imported>Loldongs at 07:39, 3 March 2024

2024-03-03T07:39:48Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 07:39, 3 March 2024
(No difference)

imported>Loldongs at 07:39, 3 March 2024

2024-03-03T07:39:48Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:39, 3 March 2024
Line 170:		Line 170:

	*If you do have something in your car you'd rather the cops not find, but he can't prove it without searching your car, you do have the right to refuse him the right to search your car. Just say "I do not consent to any searches," and do not let yourself be bullied by the cop. They will try to scare you with comments like, "Do you know how fast I can get a warrant?" If it's so damn easy, make the cop do the extra work and get one- don't make their job any easier for them. The truth is, the cop needs a certain amount of evidence to get a warrant and can't get one just because you refused a search. Just remember this little anecdote, when a cop demands to search your car, you are under suspicion as being a criminal. In American law, the criminal is the one with all the rights. Do as [[Nancy Reagan]] said and [[just say no]].		*If you do have something in your car you'd rather the cops not find, but he can't prove it without searching your car, you do have the right to refuse him the right to search your car. Just say "I do not consent to any searches," and do not let yourself be bullied by the cop. They will try to scare you with comments like, "Do you know how fast I can get a warrant?" If it's so damn easy, make the cop do the extra work and get one- don't make their job any easier for them. The truth is, the cop needs a certain amount of evidence to get a warrant and can't get one just because you refused a search. Just remember this little anecdote, when a cop demands to search your car, you are under suspicion as being a criminal. In American law, the criminal is the one with all the rights. Do as [[Nancy Reagan]] said and [[just say no]].

			*Furthermore, attract as little attention to yourself as possible. Sarah Connor told Arnie to keep it under 85 so they didn't get pulled over ''for a reason''. If you're carrying drugs, have a suspended license, no insurance, have had too much to drink, are an illegal, are black, whatever, now is the time to drive the speed limit, come to full stops, put your fucking phone down, and obey all posted signs. This way that asshole in the penis-envy pickup truck who overtook you to go 90 in a 30 zone gets a traffic ticket, instead of you getting a traffic ticket AND trip to the pokey for having a brick of coke on the back seat.

	*There are places to fight a traffic ticket. The side of the street is not one of them. If you're given a ticket, don't be a whiny bitch, don't fight, don't argue, don't antagonize the pig that oinked it out. What you do is you grow a pair of prunes, take the ticket, and fight that shit in the courthouse. Even then, fighting a ticket sucks time and money, and there's no guarantee whatsoever that you'll win, and even if you do win the victory is Pyrrhic at best: '''the best way to not pay a traffic ticket is to NOT GET a traffic ticket.'''		*There are places to fight a traffic ticket. The side of the street is not one of them. If you're given a ticket, don't be a whiny bitch, don't fight, don't argue, don't antagonize the pig that oinked it out. What you do is you grow a pair of prunes, take the ticket, and fight that shit in the courthouse. Even then, fighting a ticket sucks time and money, and there's no guarantee whatsoever that you'll win, and even if you do win the victory is Pyrrhic at best: '''the best way to not pay a traffic ticket is to NOT GET a traffic ticket.'''
Line 176:		Line 178:

	*[[Protip]]: '''Don't be an idiot''' around cops. Smoking out, throwing a brick through a window and writing a bad word on a wall doesn't make you a hardened criminal. Lay off the weed and wash your Che shirt once in awhile because no matter how bad you think the police are, be glad that you are being arrested in the U.S. and not in our closest neighbor of [[Mexico]] where the cops are literally criminals with badges and are only arresting you for the ransom they think your parents will pay. For the [[lulz]] it could even be [[Cuba]] where it's still believed that if you were really innocent, you wouldn't have confessed during that 3 day police beating.		*[[Protip]]: '''Don't be an idiot''' around cops. Smoking out, throwing a brick through a window and writing a bad word on a wall doesn't make you a hardened criminal. Lay off the weed and wash your Che shirt once in awhile because no matter how bad you think the police are, be glad that you are being arrested in the U.S. and not in our closest neighbor of [[Mexico]] where the cops are literally criminals with badges and are only arresting you for the ransom they think your parents will pay. For the [[lulz]] it could even be [[Cuba]] where it's still believed that if you were really innocent, you wouldn't have confessed during that 3 day police beating.

			* Finally, make sure you actually know your rights, and the rights of the cop you're dealing with. These change state-by-state, and country-by-country, and it's most certainly not the best idea to take legal advice at face value from the [[Alcoholic\|dashing rogues]] here at ED. We'll help you score on the cops because it's funny to watch some bacon sizzle, but we don't actually give a fuck about you and most certainly are [[X is not your personal army\|not your personal army]]: if you overstep your boundaries and get [[George Floyd\|Floyded]] for the trouble, we're not going to lift a finger to help, nor will anyone feel bad for you. Odds are all we'll do is point and laugh, and ''maybe'' write an article about you if your "finest hour" was particularly lulzy. Never forget the only people who win the ghetto lottery are niggers, and even ''then'' it's their family who get payouts and free shit, and their community who pretend to care to use the "tragedy" as an excuse to riot, while the "victim" -- you -- get tossed in a ditch.

imported>Loldongs: /* Real Tips for Dealing with Cops */

2024-02-15T05:44:02Z

Real Tips for Dealing with Cops

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:44, 15 February 2024
(No difference)

imported>Loldongs: /* Real Tips for Dealing with Cops */

2024-02-15T05:44:02Z

Real Tips for Dealing with Cops

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:44, 15 February 2024
Line 170:		Line 170:

	*If you do have something in your car you'd rather the cops not find, but he can't prove it without searching your car, you do have the right to refuse him the right to search your car. Just say "I do not consent to any searches," and do not let yourself be bullied by the cop. They will try to scare you with comments like, "Do you know how fast I can get a warrant?" If it's so damn easy, make the cop do the extra work and get one- don't make their job any easier for them. The truth is, the cop needs a certain amount of evidence to get a warrant and can't get one just because you refused a search. Just remember this little anecdote, when a cop demands to search your car, you are under suspicion as being a criminal. In American law, the criminal is the one with all the rights. Do as [[Nancy Reagan]] said and [[just say no]].		*If you do have something in your car you'd rather the cops not find, but he can't prove it without searching your car, you do have the right to refuse him the right to search your car. Just say "I do not consent to any searches," and do not let yourself be bullied by the cop. They will try to scare you with comments like, "Do you know how fast I can get a warrant?" If it's so damn easy, make the cop do the extra work and get one- don't make their job any easier for them. The truth is, the cop needs a certain amount of evidence to get a warrant and can't get one just because you refused a search. Just remember this little anecdote, when a cop demands to search your car, you are under suspicion as being a criminal. In American law, the criminal is the one with all the rights. Do as [[Nancy Reagan]] said and [[just say no]].

			*There are places to fight a traffic ticket. The side of the street is not one of them. If you're given a ticket, don't be a whiny bitch, don't fight, don't argue, don't antagonize the pig that oinked it out. What you do is you grow a pair of prunes, take the ticket, and fight that shit in the courthouse. Even then, fighting a ticket sucks time and money, and there's no guarantee whatsoever that you'll win, and even if you do win the victory is Pyrrhic at best: '''the best way to not pay a traffic ticket is to NOT GET a traffic ticket.'''

	*Also, '''DO NOT RUN'''. Running only adds more charges on to your ass and increases your chances of getting [[Curb Stomp\|curb stomped]] or shot. Plus, no one likes running. If you make a cop run, he may drop his donut and then get <b>really</b> mad. If you are in a car and drunk '''JUST PULL THE FUCK OVER''' because a DUI, a night or two in jail and a couple months of AA are nothing when compared to the shit you're going to bring down on yourself because you had to slam down the throttle. I know people whose lives are super fucked up and wish they could undo that bad decision they made to run.		*Also, '''DO NOT RUN'''. Running only adds more charges on to your ass and increases your chances of getting [[Curb Stomp\|curb stomped]] or shot. Plus, no one likes running. If you make a cop run, he may drop his donut and then get <b>really</b> mad. If you are in a car and drunk '''JUST PULL THE FUCK OVER''' because a DUI, a night or two in jail and a couple months of AA are nothing when compared to the shit you're going to bring down on yourself because you had to slam down the throttle. I know people whose lives are super fucked up and wish they could undo that bad decision they made to run.

imported>Glitchedblood at 05:10, 12 March 2023

2023-03-12T05:10:37Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 05:10, 12 March 2023
(No difference)