imported>MJ2.0 at 04:00, 21 August 2018

2018-08-21T04:00:06Z

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	*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]		*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]

	[[Category:People\|Klink, Colonel]][[Category:Germany]]		{{Germany}}
			[[Category:People\|Klink, Colonel]]
			[[Category:Germany]]
			[[Category:TV Shows]]
			[[Category:TV and Movies]]

imported>AlGore at 19:40, 3 October 2016

2016-10-03T19:40:58Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:40, 3 October 2016
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	{{spoiler\|The Nazis lose and Klink is tried for war crimes}}		{{spoiler\|The Nazis lose and Klink is tried for war crimes}}
	<br>		<br>
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	*DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISMISS'D		*DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISMISS'D
	*Bite the curb, nigger.		*Bite the curb, nigger.
	*[[Feels good man]].		*[[Pepe\|Feels good man]].
	*Shit on your face you have fucking bad donkey breath, monkey tit.		*Shit on your face you have fucking bad donkey breath, monkey tit.
	*IN SOVIET RUSSIA, war goes to you!		*IN SOVIET RUSSIA, war goes to you!

imported>AlGore: /* External Links */

2016-06-21T08:58:53Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:58, 21 June 2016
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	*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]		*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]

	[[Category:People\|Klink, Colonel]]		[[Category:People\|Klink, Colonel]][[Category:Germany]]

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

2011-10-31T09:43:04Z

Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

← Older revision	Revision as of 09:43, 31 October 2011
(No difference)

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

2011-10-31T09:43:04Z

Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

← Older revision	Revision as of 09:43, 31 October 2011
(No difference)

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

2011-10-31T09:43:04Z

Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

← Older revision	Revision as of 09:43, 31 October 2011
(No difference)

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

2011-10-31T09:43:04Z

Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:43, 31 October 2011
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	*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]		*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]

			[[Category:People\|Klink, Colonel]]
	~~{{Slept with rubberduc}}~~

imported>H64: replacing :category:People with template:Slept with rubberduc

2011-10-31T07:15:22Z

replacing category:People with template:Slept with rubberduc

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	*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]		*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]

	~~[[Category:People\|Klink, Colonel]]~~
			{{Slept with rubberduc}}

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{spoiler|The Nazis lose and Klink is tried for war crimes}}
A real caring colonel. '''Colonel Klink''' is the [[not gay|fl..."

2011-04-16T02:33:35Z

Created page with " {{spoiler|The Nazis lose and Klink is tried for war crimes}} <br> thumb|right|180px|A real caring colonel. '''Colonel Klink''' is the [[not gay|fl..."

New page

{{spoiler|The Nazis lose and Klink is tried for war crimes}}
<br>
[[Image:Klinkproctorexam.jpg|thumb|right|180px|A real caring colonel.]]
'''Colonel Klink''' is the [[not gay|flamboyant]], [[retard|dim-witted]] runner of a [[holocaust|POW concentration camp]] on the hit TV show Hogan's Heroes. Originally supposed to be mean and moronic, the show's producers thought it would be best to make him dumb and moronic, the [[fact|perfect combination for any character on any show at any time]]. Of course, little is known about our dear colonel, but he can be spotted lurking in and around /b/ on the various *chan boards offering sound advice, asking questions, or just acting [[not gay|normal]]. Be warned, though. Klink is actively hated by [[Nazi|Nazifags]] because he makes them look like [[idiot|idiots]]. For shame.
{{quote|DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISMISS'D|Klinkspeak}}

==History==
[[Image:AtfirstIwasklink.png|thumb|left|180px|Klink is very savvy when it comes to memes.]]
The guy who played Colonel Klink is not a colonel. I was shocked too. He's actually Werner Klemperer, a Jew who ran from the [[Hitler]] and his league of jawsome stormtroopers in 1935. Klemperer didn't play a Nazi then, but he did play a violin, which made him that much sexier when it came to wooing the [[Americunt]] chicks. After all, unlike his famous parents, Klemp couldn't sing, and couldn't conduct an orchestra, so he settled on the latter. Soon, however, the tides would turn once again, and our fearless hero would find himself playing a Nazi in some postwar film.
[[Image:Klink_hochstetter.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Surpise Buttsecks!]]
As if one slap in the face wasn't enough, Klemperer decided to accept the role of '''Colonel Klink''' on ''Hogan's Heroes'', an [[unfunny]] show about POW's and how they are slowly killed by the vicious experiments from the colonel and his henchmen. Actually, it was the opposite, and Klemperer agreed as long as Klink would [[fail|never win anything]]. Needless to say, a [[awesome|star was born]], and the show debuted in 1965, much to the horror of the Amerifag audience. Actually, everyone except for [[Germany|Germanfags]] liked the show (although even they were won over by the time the mid-80's rolled around), which featured a savvy POW Colonel Hogan who actually had a secret life full of [[faggotry]] and fetish, a [[fat]] SS Guard named Sergeant Schultz who was actually a raging alcoholic, a [[nigra]] named Kinch who was actually a [[nigra]], a [[britfag]] named Newkirk who actually became [[an hero]] after succumbing to accepting a game show host role, and a [[midget]] named LeBeau who was actually a midget on a soap opera. The uncanny cast ran for six seasons, of which Klink is repeatedly [[mindfuck|mind fucked]] over and over again by the non-Nazis and at the same time [[raped]] by his German counterparts. Hilarity ensued in each episode, as Klink would basically act as the reoccurring moron who would even take the advice of his hated enemies. Wheeeee.

Klemperer went into [[not gay|opera]] after the show ended in 1975 and married a [[nigra]]. With Hogan now killed by a former Nazi lover, Klemp thought it would be best to lay low. He was pwn't by [[cancer]] in the 1990's and his ashes were scattered at sea. Needless to say, the sweet colonel was thoroughly DIIIIISMISS'D.

==Klink and /b/==
[[Image:Adviceklink.png|thumb|right|180px|The ill-fated Advice Klink.]]
[[Image:Klink_not_gay.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Klink is most definitely not gay.]]
The halls of /b/ can occasionally be filled with the random image of the Colonel. Usually, he's pictured answering a game show question or doing a random act or two, but he has been known to take cameo roles. Below is just a few of those said roles:
*He lent his monocle to the black person starring in the ''Gentlemenly Monday'' threads.
*He cut the head off [[advice dog]] and kept it on life support long enough to remain a meme.
*He starred in ''[[The Simpsons]]''. Well, sort of.
*He keeps [[Milhouse]] from being a meme.
*He thinks all [[furries]] are fucking [[gay]] and often is portrayed with a ":/" face next to furporn.
*He tells [[niggers]] to bite the curb.
*He often appears in normal threads, because Klink is [[not gay]]
*He will lend [[Batman]] a hand from time to time (see video, [[fgt]]).
*He rarely stars in his own thread because he feels /b/ is some sort of Gestapo plot.
*He will tell people to sit down, go away, or simply raise a hand, thus signaling that person is henceforth dismissed.
*He doesn't see a difference between consented sex and rape.
*If you look closely, Klink will sometimes appear in various [[cat]] threads, because he can.

Clearly, there has been a definite hype for a long, long time.

===Klink Quotes===
Below are just a few of the beloved colonel's most famous quotes:
*DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISMISS'D
*Bite the curb, nigger.
*[[Feels good man]].
*Shit on your face you have fucking bad donkey breath, monkey tit.
*IN SOVIET RUSSIA, war goes to you!
*Hoooogaa-a-a-an.
*I do not, nor have I ever wanted to, own a goddamn chicken restaurant.
*[[????]]
*[[PROFIT]]
*I am [[not gay]].

==Videos==
Most Klink animation will be found on [[YTMND]], which is an acronym that basically means "full of fail." Nevertheless, on that site, there are a few good ones. Slim pickings on JewTube though.
<center><youtube>UHD_53UqBeA</youtube><br>
'''Klink speaking to Batman. Hilarity ensues.'''</center>

==Gallery==
{{cg|Gallery|Gallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Youngklink.jpg|Klink at an early age.
Image:Klinkschultzwtf.gif|Klink and WHY IS SCHULTZ IN A WEDDING DRESS.
Image:Klinksimpsons.jpg|Making a cameo on ''[[The Simpsons]]''.
Image:Klinksmirror.jpg|The colonel has a faaaaabulous appearance.
Image:Blitzwing_Meets_Colonel_Klink_by_sportswing.jpg|Klink and TRANSFORMERS DIDN'T EXIST IN WWII.
Image:Hogan_s_Heroes_Untitled_by_georgshadow.jpg|MY EYES.
Image:Hogan_and_Klink_by_fedoramaster.jpg|TARTlet fanart.
Image:Klink_gargoyles.gif|Klink is down with the Gargoyles.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Klink_thinking.JPG|Contemplating.
Image:Klink.jpg|Klink answering a tough question.
Image:Klink2.jpg|Part Deux.</gallery>|}}

==See Also==
*[[Hitler]]
*[[Nazi]]
*[[not gay]]
*[[not a meme]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.mishalov.com/Klemperer.html SPOILER ALERT: Klink dies in the end.]

[[Category:People|Klink, Colonel]]

Colonel Klink - Revision history

imported>MJ2.0 at 04:00, 21 August 2018

imported>AlGore at 19:40, 3 October 2016

imported>AlGore: /* External Links */

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

imported>Mantequilla: Reverted edits by H64 (talk) to last revision by Unknown

imported>H64: replacing :category:People with template:Slept with rubberduc

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{spoiler|The Nazis lose and Klink is tried for war crimes}} A real caring colonel. '''Colonel Klink''' is the [[not gay|fl..."

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{spoiler|The Nazis lose and Klink is tried for war crimes}}
A real caring colonel. '''Colonel Klink''' is the [[not gay|fl..."