imported>CrackRabbit: Created page with " 250px 250px A collector is that certain type of person that surrounds and buries themselves..."

2020-12-25T12:31:59Z

Created page with " right|250px right|250px A collector is that certain type of person that surrounds and buries themselves..."

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[[File:Chris chan collection.jpg|right|250px]]

A collector is that certain type of person that surrounds and buries themselves with plastic pressed [[Shit|garbage]], that normal, sane [[people]] would call a horde or a [[shit]]storm of junk existing from wall to wall. They keep their head to toe pile of uselessness in the hopes that their junk collection [[Money|will go up in value]] while they give up more and more space in their [[basement]] apartment to this ever growing obsession of collecting [[shit|crap]] for the reason that they need it.

While most people would be content with one or two figures from their favorite comic or [[Animu|manga]], the collector has an innate desire to possess every piece, in every variant form that has been pressed.

Already have the [[Sailor Moon]] figure with the blue magical wand? Well they just put out a variant with pink magical wand at 3 times the cost of the original that is missing from [[you]]r collection so you now have to go out and buy it.

The collector's obsession is often seen in the lifeless and lonely that come to believe that every figure that they collect is another [[friend]] or can be used as a conversation starter for when they meet someone [[N/|new]] but what [[Pr0n|Adult]] really wants to have what starts off as a [[Maturity|mature]] conversation and digresses into an eight hour long, boring talk about how [[you]] have every [[Star Wars]] lego collection set on the market, including the ones that are no longer in print.

== Why They Collect ==

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[[Psychology|Psychologists]] would say that they are trying to fill an empty [[Pussy|void]] [[lie|in their soul]] that was created when they lost something important on a psychological level, the lacking of something they desire such as a [[girlfriend]], are trying to cope with the loss of a family member, have become so enamored with the show that they think collecting the show's products makes them a part or member of that show or that by collecting all the pieces being released gives them a goal to seek out and collect all the figures or [[FunnyJunk|trinkets]] being released.

The truth is, they're just [[fuck]]ed in the head and all the blame lies on their [[your mom|Mommies]] and [[Father|Daddies]] because they support their inane obsession by letting them stuff their room and the house's basement with this shit that they call collectibles, believing them when they say that in 10 years they'll be able to sell their collection off and pay for [[Education|college]]

Has there ever been a market for 1990s [[vomit|Bat Girl]] plastic cups from [[food|Taco Bell]]?

No! There hasn't and there won't be in the foreseeable future.

All their [[Your mom|parents]] are doing is ensuring that they're future man[[child]] will be working at minimum wage, at a toy store, for the rest of their life because while other kids were learning algebra and calculus - their kid was in front of the [[tv]] memorizing the bust sizes of all the [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Sccouts]]

== Who Collects ==

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Your overzealous collector is usually the [[Chris Chan|Aautistic]] type that can't make friends with people due to their [[garbage]] smell, lack of [[people]] skills and the fact that they often personify the objects in their possession to the point that they take on a life of their own where the [[autistic]] retard gives their collectibles personalities and interacts with them like they were real.

Hating change, this type can not be reasoned with and are often left to their own devices allowing them to fill every nook and cranny with what currently will make them happy at that moment which ends with one junk pile piling up on another pile again and again until their collection finally comes crashing down on them, [[Dead|killing]] them to the benefit of society.

If it needs to be said after all of the above, collectors are mostly the lonely and outcasts of society trying to fill the missing void of loneliness with objects to the point that it becomes their whole [[life]] and foundation for being.

== Why Collecting Is Stupid ==

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The reason the first [[Superman|Action Comics]] comic book is worth half the national debt is because there are few of them in existance making it a sellers market for the owner of the comic. On the other hand, with 50 million [[Evangelion]] Dolls in existence there is no rarity in them and anyone looking for one can find one easily on [[ebay]] or ordered from any [[Comic book fans|ComicoBook]] shop.

In ten years the [[Superman|Action Comics]] #1 will still be worth a [[Over 9000|billion dollars]] while your shrinky dink collection of the [[DC|justice league]] will have stayed the same in price unless there was some mistake in the printing making it rare.

In other words the key to [[money|value]]) is rarity. The rarer the item the more it's worth.
If you want to see your plastic, vinyl pressed [[Dragon Ball Z]] collection go up in value than you might have to wait 50 years for it to become sought after for its rarity because figures were thrown out or have been broken causing a decline in mint condition figures.

== Junk Just Waiting To Happen ==

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While your overwhelming collection of [[Food|McDonalds]] [[Pain|Shrek]] glasses might have value to you and you're sure that the speculative market will have them appreciating in value some time soon they are just garbage waiting to happen.

[[Dead|On your last day]], as you lay in bed clutching your favorite [[Vagina|Puss in Boots]] glass - five days later when you start to stink up the place all that is going to happen to your carefully preserved treasured objects is that they will become part of a landfill in [[New Jersey]] because you put your collection before everything in your [[life]] and having no [[children|heirs]] and living in a low rent apartment all that is going to happen is your body will be shipped off to be incinerated and the collection you were so proud of will be in the [[garbage|dumpster]] waiting to be picked up.

Avoid all this and kill yourself now because there's no changing the fact that you will be an 80 year old loser fawning over your useless collection of [[shit]] and trying to lure [[loli|Little girls]] into your apartment with promises of candy.

== How To Tell If You're A Collector/Hoarder ==

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* Do your parents avoid coming into your room or avoid the basement because they can't navigate through all your shit?

* If the last time [[you]] saw the floor in your bedroom can be counted in months you're probably one.

* If you take pictures of yourself, with your junk pile, to post on the [[internets]] to brag because you think you have the end all - best collection there is.

* If the offer of a free 1 in [[At least 100|100]] run of a collectible of your choice or getting [[pussy]] were to happen and you take the 1 in 100 run item.

* Your parents walk past your room, stop and sigh.

* Your goal is to have two of every item released so you can have one boxed and the other unboxed.

* [[Chris Chan|You beg on twitter for money because a new figure came out and you can't afford it.]]

* People actively avoid you and go out of their way to do it because any conversation with you will end up being about you hoarde.

== How To Troll Collectors ==

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* Tell them that they're doing the adult version of playing with [[toys]].

* Purchase a rare out of print item and burn it on camera; proceed to upload it on YouTube/whatever other file sharing site and post it on [[retrofags|retrofag forums]] or [[ResetEra|Resetera]].

* Remind them ad nauseum that they have no [[life]].

* Tell them that when they get put in the old folks home they won't get to keep their toys.

* Call their collection junk on a shelf

* Tell them that they are one phone call to the [[Government|board of health]] and seeing everything they so meticulously collected get hauled away

* Tell them that their collection has no value in the real world and they're the one that has placed the value on nothing.

* Tell them that they are trying to fill a hole, such as their lack of being [[love]]d, with things.

== See Also ==

* [[Comic book fans]]

* [[Nerd]]

* [[Geek]]

* [[Loser]]

* [[Toys]]

* [[Virgin]]

{{Dying Alone}}

{{Truth}}

{{Life}}

{{timeline|Featured article June 4 through June 6, [[2020]]|[[Love]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[JEWS DID WTC]]}}

Collector - Revision history

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