Sphalerite: Clone from sandbox

2026-06-10T22:24:53Z

Clone from sandbox

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{{Aspergers}}
{{Withjews}}
{{ib|[[File:Braden_Eric_Peters.jpg|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Braden Eric Peters'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|December 17, 2005 ({{age|2005|12|17}} years old)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Ethnicity'''|[[White devils]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Gender'''|[[Male]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Occupation'''|[[Influencer]]}}
{{Ibend}}
'''Clavicular''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Braden Eric Peters''') is a pseudo-intellectual [[Americunt]] [[looksmaxxing]] [[influencer]] obsessed with drugs and destroying his skeletal structure in hopes of being attractive. After beginning his career in 2025 he since continues to persuade [[incels]] worldwide into joining him in destroying their own bodies ("[[Incel#Looksmaxxing|hardmaxxing]]") as to not feel lonely having done it, since according to him, this makes you more attractive.

==Description==
Due to his unfortunate state of being a Jew, Clav's primary focus in life is [[jewgold]]. As a result, the entirety of his content serves to produce [[consoomer]]s to purchase cheap testosterone supplements and earn a cut. While as an asspie, he is very obsessive and usually spergs out at people about his cult of looksmaxxing, this property makes this obsession dangerous to others' wallets. Furthermore, like the retard he is, he has done on numerous occasions varying retarded shit and even landed himself in jail several times. However, in both cases, his wealth and Israeli connections have gotten him out one way or another.

As described in the above section, he is extremely [[Buttsecks|deep into the rabbit hole of looksmaxxing]], having gone far further than the average incel. Because of this, he is entirely unable to speak to women. An attempt at conversation with a representative of the opposite gender usually induces an epileptic seizure, where he is partially paralyzed and temporarily adopts an alternative style of thinking. This style is colloquially known as '''Clavology''', and its study concerns the various ratios and formulae used by seasoned incels such as him for the purpose of achieving maximum attractiveness at the expense of all charisma. The course students usually pass on their path to proficiency is called the '''claviculum'''. Modern [[soyence]] is still working on the Clavological Theory of Everything and if solved, it may permanently reset the number of incels to 0.

=="Career"==
As you likely know, Clav is primarily a streamer. However, while streaming and not, he participates in the even more deranged activity known as looksmaxxing. His expertise lies in the "hardmaxxing" part, and he refers to participants of "softmaxxing" as "pussies".

In pursuit of his goals, he has taken various drugs, including but not limited to: testosterone, roids, heroin, [[weed|tetrahydrocannabinol]] and meth. This has (unsurprisingly) caused many overdoses and even been linked to his total infertility. This combined with his crippled penis is undeniable proof Clav is a Jew, and almost evidence enough to show he is a [[Mossad]] member. But wait, there's more!

As a professional Jew, he has even started a scam membership to extract gullible incels' jewgolds. If you pay him this $100/month, Clav will personally tell you to snort even moar drugs. As a non-member, the most you could get from him is [[cuckoldry|watching him inject other incels with drugs]] as a suggestion. That's right, you're paying minimum wage to be told to kill yourself. Doesn't that sound like one hell of a deal? Well, to a surprising amount of retards, it does. Interestingly, the money he gets from the membership is well-connected to his non-prescription purchases of various narcotics. Along with ripping you off, Clav gets a crack pipe to go along with it.

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, taking more drugs than food leads one to doing retarded shit. As a perfect example: his attractiveness is not exclusive to females. A Florida man innocently splashed his [[Elon Musk|Tesla]] soybertruck with a peculiar foul-smelling fluid (widely believed to be Clav's own period blood) and started dry-humping the roof. This prompted the influenza's soybertruck to [[goatse]] the intruder. [[some argue|Some sources say]] the man was killed, but in reality, he was simply framemogged by Clav. While this is a high bar to pass, there is nothing to be proud of about being an ugly piece of shit.

{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Start driving!'''</big></center><br>
<center>[[File:Clavicular runs man over.mp4|480px]]</center>
<br>
{{quote|[[Yes|Is he dead?]] Hopefully.|Clav, acting like the [[sick fuck]] he is}}
|}

===Clav gets v&===
Finally, [[Partyv&|the men who glow in the dark]] have gotten hold of him. In a [[drama]]tic twist of the plot, he was not charged for the brutal framemogging by soybertruck, but for alleged possession of moar drugs and usage of a fake ID (he had inadvertently undone a recent glowup soon before then). [[Ya rly]]. Not even the FBI thought the incident was lulzy, so they promptly released Clav. This was a good choice, because he would go on to never get himself in trouble again.

===Clav gets v& 2: Electric Boogaloo===
Yes, again -- this time Clav is finally being tried for his horrible crime of ræping an innocent bystander with his low-polygon car. Not. This time around, unsurprisingly for his own monetary gain, he started a shitty fight club but instead of [[Chris Benoit|roid goblins]], women were to fight as drooling incels watched from all angles. The club was closed down after the first pair of fighters pulled the victim card and even consequently caused the second time Clav was v&.

But you would have to be a fool to believe this was the only stupid thing he'd done. It seems infighting between subhumans was not entertaining enough, because in an intelligent decision, Clav, while streaming, shot a dead Croc. It is no secret that [[IDIFTL|he did it for the lulz]], but the Gestapo is an enemy.

It is unclear whether or not his decision was driven by one of his daily-drive drugs, since nothing is certain but death and taxes, however this being true is a close third. Scientists state that [[nobody cares]] about this incident, but this is one of the rare cases where empirical evidence is entirely wrong. This is shown by the fact that for his heroic act of patriotism the reward was yet another criminal charge. He was not alone in dual-wielding a crackpipe, because this earned him 6 years in [[rape|probation]].

==The news reports==
{{quote|Clavicular almost caught a CAREER-ENDING cortisol spike after a LARPMAXXED stacy tried jesterfying him on stream by calling him a good boy while he was mid-mog between 2 LOW-TIER NORMIES at ASU😭|[[Shitter]], at its most coherent}}
{{quote|Clavicular ran into ASUs top frat leader while JesterMaxxing w gymcells and instantly CLOCKED PEAK COPE 😳

[[LOL WUT|The fratfraud leader went full UV Dodgemaxxing & Weightcopemaxxing inflating FAKE STATS to protect FRAME after being SKULLMOGGED while Clav DEEPLOCKED IN nuked cortisol stabirreversible PSL bleed BY A MILLIMETER 💀💯]]|[[Shitter]], at its slightly less}}

==Videos==
<center><big>'''Clav gets his cortisol spiked'''</big></center>
<center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>lhdaH-e1mBA</youtube>|<youtube>cmoSD0uCmyA</youtube>}}
</center>
{{quote|If you had the chance to [[pwn|run me over]], would you do it?|Fred Beyer to Clav, in understandable fear.}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Clavicular looksmin.jpg|Do I look good, chat? I bet I mog.
Image:Clavicular apology.jpg|[[Logan Paul|There has been a continuous lapse in judgement.]]
Image:Clavicular jestermaxx.jpg|I'm [[assburgers|jestermaxxing]], guys.
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Incel]]
*[[13-year-old]]s - his target audience
*[[Assburgers]]
*[[Dying alone]]
*[[Twomad]]
*[[Breaking Bad]] - Clav is among White's top clients

==External Links==
*{{kick|clavicular}}
*{{tiktok|kingclavicular}}
*{{kf|215991|Clav KF thread}}

{{Aspies}}
{{Drugs}}
{{Dying alone}}
{{Lolcows}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Incels]]

Clavicular - Revision history

Sphalerite: Clone from sandbox