Bacteria - Revision history

imported>Glitchedblood: Reverted edits by Bacterium (talk) to last revision by imported>Sidecar

2022-01-28T00:58:51Z

Reverted edits by Bacterium (talk) to last revision by [[User:imported>Sidecar|imported>Sidecar]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:58, 28 January 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	~~Bacteria~~: Bacteria! ~~We begin with~~ only ~~one!~~		[[File:SATAN BUG.JPG\|thumb\|You've been warned.]]


			As we all learned in a [[school]], there are several sorts of bacteria, and not all of them as the same as each other. Some are caught from [[semen]] and the rest are caught from feelthy humans.

			==''E coli''==

			This bacterium is found in sandwiches and [[Scotland]]. Its first name begins with the letter "[[drugs\|E]]" and it looks shifty down a microscope.

			==''Bacterium Toiletseat-icans''==

			This bacterium is caught by ladies from [[Toilet Seat\|toilets which have had the seat left up by gentlemen]]. It is probably fatal.

			==''Bacterium Dosmestos-icum''==

			This bacterium is the 1% percent of household germs that household cleaning bleach ''Domestos'' cannot kill. It's a bit like [[AIDS]], but smaller, and it preys on [[OCD]].

			==Flying toilet germs==

			The official scientific name of a new breed of horror that takes to the air in a toilet-shaped helicopter gunship and delivers mighty vengeance on those who don't wash their hands. [https://www.britishessentials.com/products/domestos-pink-power-strong-toilet-bathroom-kitchen-cleaning-bleach-750ml][https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/Morrisons-Thick-Bleach-Original/117573011]

			==Giant Bacteria==

			In the [[Doctor Who]] episode ''Raiders Of The Lost Ark ... IN [[space\|SPACE]]''! the large green things the size of a [[dog\|Golden Retriever]] seen during the show were actually Macrobacter [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macro_virus_(computing)]. The fact they they looked like stunt men wrapped in green carpet sliding along the linoleum in [[BBC]] Studio B, Shepherd's Bush [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shepherd%27s_Bush#Entertainment] only added to the unworldly terror.

			==The bacteria who killed the Martians==

			[[Tom Cruise]] and [[John Travolta]] saved the earth from the Marcab Confederacy in ''War Of The Worlds''. Probably.

			==The cancer that is making [[B\|/b/]] cough a bit==

			[[men\|Man flu]]. Almost certainly.

			==Syphilis and MRSA==

			These are technically germs and should be ignored.

			==<s>The Black Death==

			According to [[Wikipedia]], this gives you ''bubos'', which is [[Greek]] for owls [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horned_owl]. Hence the expression "This bubonic plaque is a total hoot." (Joke copyright; Ingmar Bergmann [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_seventh_seal].)</s> Deleted due to factual inaccuracy.

			==Computer bacteria==

			A computer bacteria is a computer program that can reproduce by binary fission and infect a computer. The Satan Bug [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satan_Bug] was first detected on televisions, the forerunner of the Internet, in the early 1970s, whilst a program called "Emergency Moonbase Alpha" was the first computer bacteria to appear "in the wild", feeding on [[lion]]s or something. Computer bacteria attach themselves to the [[Apple]] DOS 3.3 operating system and spread via floppy disk, so no [[iPad]] is safe [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_virus#History].

			==A short movie about bacteria==

			<center><youtube>Ryi0XwLFC4g</youtube></center>

			==See Also==

			*[[Coprophagia]]
			*[[/sci/]]
			*[[France]]

			{{science}}
			[[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Subcultures]]

imported>Bacterium: Replaced content with "Bacteria: Bacteria! We begin with only one!"

2022-01-28T00:58:36Z

Replaced content with "Bacteria: Bacteria! We begin with only one!"

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:58, 28 January 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	~~[[File:SATAN BUG.JPG\|thumb\|You've been warned.]]~~		Bacteria: Bacteria! We begin with only one!


	~~As we all learned in a [[school]], there are several sorts of bacteria, and not all of them as the same as each other. Some are caught from [[semen]] and the rest are caught from feelthy humans.~~

	~~==''E coli''==~~

	~~This bacterium is found in sandwiches and [[Scotland]]. Its first name begins with the letter "[[drugs\|E]]" and it looks shifty down a microscope.~~

	~~==''Bacterium Toiletseat-icans''==~~

	~~This bacterium is caught by ladies from [[Toilet Seat\|toilets which have had the seat left up by gentlemen]]. It is probably fatal.~~

	~~==''Bacterium Dosmestos-icum''==~~

	~~This bacterium is the 1% percent of household germs that household cleaning bleach ''Domestos'' cannot kill. It's a bit like [[AIDS]], but smaller, and it preys on [[OCD]].~~

	~~==Flying toilet germs==~~

	~~The official scientific name of a new breed of horror that takes to the air in a toilet-shaped helicopter gunship and delivers mighty vengeance on those who don't wash their hands. [https~~://www.britishessentials.com/products/domestos-pink-power-strong-toilet-bathroom-kitchen-cleaning-bleach-750ml][https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/Morrisons-Thick-Bleach-Original/117573011]

	~~==Giant~~ Bacteria==

	~~In the [[Doctor Who]] episode ''Raiders Of The Lost Ark ... IN [[space\|SPACE]]''~~! the large green things the size of a [[dog\|Golden Retriever]] seen during the show were actually Macrobacter [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macro_virus_(computing)]. The fact they they looked like stunt men wrapped in green carpet sliding along the linoleum in [[BBC]] Studio B, Shepherd's Bush [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shepherd%27s_Bush#Entertainment] only ~~added to the unworldly terror.~~

	~~==The bacteria who killed the Martians==~~

	~~[[Tom Cruise]] and [[John Travolta]] saved the earth from the Marcab Confederacy in ''War Of The Worlds''. Probably.~~

	~~==The cancer that is making [[B\|/b/]] cough a bit==~~

	~~[[men\|Man flu]]. Almost certainly.~~

	~~==Syphilis and MRSA==~~

	~~These are technically germs and should be ignored.~~

	~~==<s>The Black Death==~~

	According to [[Wikipedia]], this gives you ''bubos'', which is [[Greek]] for owls [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horned_owl]. Hence the expression "This bubonic plaque is a total hoot." (Joke copyright; Ingmar Bergmann [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_seventh_seal].)</s> Deleted due to factual inaccuracy.

	~~==Computer bacteria==~~

	A computer bacteria is a computer program that can reproduce by binary fission and infect a computer. The Satan Bug [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satan_Bug] was first detected on televisions, the forerunner of the Internet, in the early 1970s, whilst a program called "Emergency Moonbase Alpha" was the first computer bacteria to appear "in the wild", feeding on [[lion]]s or something. Computer bacteria attach themselves to the [[Apple]] DOS 3.3 operating system and spread via floppy disk, so no [[iPad]] is safe [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_virus#History].

	~~==A short movie about bacteria==~~

	~~<center><youtube>Ryi0XwLFC4g</youtube></center>~~

	~~==See Also==~~

	*[[Coprophagia]]
	*[[/sci/]]
	*[[France]]

	~~{{science}}~~
	~~[[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Subcultures]]~~

imported>Sidecar: /* Bacterium Dosmestos-icum */

2017-01-05T19:39:49Z

Bacterium Dosmestos-icum

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:39, 5 January 2017
Line 15:		Line 15:

	This bacterium is the 1% percent of household germs that household cleaning bleach ''Domestos'' cannot kill. It's a bit like [[AIDS]], but smaller, and it preys on [[OCD]].		This bacterium is the 1% percent of household germs that household cleaning bleach ''Domestos'' cannot kill. It's a bit like [[AIDS]], but smaller, and it preys on [[OCD]].

			==Flying toilet germs==

			The official scientific name of a new breed of horror that takes to the air in a toilet-shaped helicopter gunship and delivers mighty vengeance on those who don't wash their hands. [https://www.britishessentials.com/products/domestos-pink-power-strong-toilet-bathroom-kitchen-cleaning-bleach-750ml][https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/Morrisons-Thick-Bleach-Original/117573011]

	==Giant Bacteria==		==Giant Bacteria==

imported>LulzKiller at 21:09, 10 December 2015

2015-12-10T21:09:33Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:09, 10 December 2015
Line 24:		Line 24:
	[[Tom Cruise]] and [[John Travolta]] saved the earth from the Marcab Confederacy in ''War Of The Worlds''. Probably.		[[Tom Cruise]] and [[John Travolta]] saved the earth from the Marcab Confederacy in ''War Of The Worlds''. Probably.

	==The cancer that is making [[/b/]] cough a bit==		==The cancer that is making [[B\|/b/]] cough a bit==

	[[men\|Man flu]]. Almost certainly.		[[men\|Man flu]]. Almost certainly.

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

2015-05-22T19:23:12Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:23, 22 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

2015-05-22T19:23:12Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:23, 22 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

2015-05-22T19:23:12Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 19:23, 22 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

2015-05-22T19:23:12Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:23, 22 May 2015
Line 1:		Line 1:
	~~[[File:Bacteria1.jpg\|thumb\|An [[uncyclopedia\|hilarious]] cartoon about bacteria.]]~~
	~~[[File:Bacteria2.jpg\|thumb\|A Macrobacterium yesterday.]]~~
	~~[[File:Bacteria3.jpg\|thumb\|What happens if you don't wash your hands after using the bathroom.]]~~
	[[File:SATAN BUG.JPG\|thumb\|You've been warned.]]		[[File:SATAN BUG.JPG\|thumb\|You've been warned.]]
	~~[[File:Bacteria4.jpg\|thumb\|Yippie ki-yay pigfuckers.]]~~

	As we all learned in a [[school]], there are several sorts of bacteria, and not all of them as the same as each other. Some are caught from [[semen]] and the rest are caught from feelthy humans.		As we all learned in a [[school]], there are several sorts of bacteria, and not all of them as the same as each other. Some are caught from [[semen]] and the rest are caught from feelthy humans.

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Undo revision 266790 by H64 (talk) Bot mishap.

2011-11-01T16:46:52Z

Undo revision 266790 by H64 (talk) Bot mishap.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:46, 1 November 2011
Line 1:		Line 1:

	[[File:Bacteria1.jpg\|thumb\|An [[uncyclopedia\|hilarious]] cartoon about bacteria.]]		[[File:Bacteria1.jpg\|thumb\|An [[uncyclopedia\|hilarious]] cartoon about bacteria.]]
	[[File:Bacteria2.jpg\|thumb\|A Macrobacterium yesterday.]]		[[File:Bacteria2.jpg\|thumb\|A Macrobacterium yesterday.]]
Line 55:		Line 54:

	{{science}}		{{science}}
			[[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Subcultures]]
	~~{{Life}}~~[[Category:Subcultures]]

imported>H64: replacing :category:IRL Shit with template:Life

2011-10-31T06:28:59Z

replacing category:IRL Shit with template:Life

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:28, 31 October 2011
Line 55:		Line 55:

	{{science}}		{{science}}
	~~[[Category:IRL Shit]]~~[[Category:Subcultures]]
			{{Life}}[[Category:Subcultures]]

Bacteria - Revision history

imported>Glitchedblood: Reverted edits by Bacterium (talk) to last revision by imported>Sidecar

imported>Bacterium: Replaced content with "Bacteria: Bacteria! We﻿ begin with only one!"

imported>Sidecar: /* Bacterium Dosmestos-icum */

imported>LulzKiller at 21:09, 10 December 2015

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

imported>Oddguy at 19:23, 22 May 2015

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Undo revision 266790 by H64 (talk) Bot mishap.

imported>H64: replacing :category:IRL Shit with template:Life

imported>Bacterium: Replaced content with "Bacteria: Bacteria! We begin with only one!"