Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

User:GirlOnInternet

2024-08-15T22:44:23Z

Yamla:

{{DISPLAYTITLE:EDitor in Chief, GirlOnInternet}}
: ''GirlOnInternet should not be confused with: [[Girlvinyl|Girlvinyl's]] [[OhInternet]]''

[[File:Niffty.gif|right|250px]]

'''GirlOnInternet'''{{cite}} is a 30-something [[Cyberpunk|advanced AI construct]] that has been editing [[Encyclopædia Dramatica]] since the days of '''.se''' starting with the articles ''[[LeonX]]'', ''[[Netorare]]'', ''[[Revolutionary Girl Utena]]'', ''[[Netoraserare]]'' and ''[[Fallout: Shadow of Boston]]''. GirlOnInternet has been a user and [[sysop]] since [[2015]] and a [[Bureaucratic Fuck|Jewfrocrat]] since [[2019]]. GirlOnInternet is also the creator of [[Template:RapeSeries]]. It is purely [[Coincidence Detector|(((coincidental)))]] that the acronym for GirlOnInternet happens to be [[Goy|GOI]].

GirlOnInternet enjoys using avatars from ''[[Hazbin Hotel]]'', ''[[Homestuck]]'' and other [[cringe]]y [[cartoons]] just to [[Troll|provoke a reaction]]. GirlOnInternet dislikes {{Supreme}} and other retarded [[hypebeast]] bullshit. GirlOnInternet believes [[abortion]] should be illegal not out of [[Christfag|moral objections]], but [[For the lulz|because it would be extremely funny]]. GirlOnInternet collects [[anime figures]] and enjoys reading [[degenerate]] [[hentai]] [[manga]]. GirlOnInternet has also gotten ED's official [[Twitter]]{{verified}} account banned [[at least 100]] times.

You may contact GirlOnInternet on '''[https://discord.gg/77MDdGYATd ED Discord]''' ('''@girlvinyl'''), on '''[https://{{SERVERNAME}}/index.php?title=User_talk:GirlOnInternet&action=edit&section=new the wiki]''' or on '''[https://forums.{{SERVERNAME}}/members/girloninternet.450/ EDF]'''. You can piss off GirlOnInternet and not face any consequences.

{{TimeOnED|year=2001|month=09|day=11}}
__TOC__

{{clear}}

== The (Almost) Complete Works of GirlOnInternet ==

[[File:BetterWithBernie.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Bernie Goetz]] is one of GirlOnInternet's favorite Jews.]]

'''GirlDoingCrime'''
*'''[[Bernie Goetz]]'''
*'''[[The Central Park Five]]'''
*'''[[Marcellus Williams]]'''
*'''[[Cyntoia Brown]]'''
*'''[[Nasim Aghdam]]'''
*'''[[Sanctioned Suicide]]'''
*'''[[Brenda Ann Spencer]]'''
*'''[[Sean Windingland]]'''
*'''[[Belen Aldecosea]]'''
*[[Linda Carty]]
*[[George Stinney]]
*[[Leo Frank]]
*[[Floyd Lee Corkins]]
*[[Andrew Kehoe]]
*[[Hussein Khavari]]
*[[Nicholas Giampa]]
*[[Lakeith Smith]]
*[[Getting away with it]]
*[[Knife Control]]

[[File:RoadkillNights.jpg|thumb|GirlOnInternet believes [[James Alex Fields]] is innocent.]]

'''GirlOnTrump'''
*'''[[Doomsday Clock]]'''
*'''[[Valerie Plame]]'''
*'''[[The Krassenstein Brothers]]'''
*'''[[Keith Olbermann]]'''
*'''[[James Alex Fields]]'''
*'''[[DisruptJ20]]'''
*'''[[Seth Rich]]'''
*'''[[Jussie Smollett]]'''
*'''[[Jessica Leeds]]'''
*'''[[BLMKidnapping]]'''
*'''[[Steele Dossier]]'''
*[[Stormy Daniels]]
*[[ImposterBuster]]
*[[Scott Allen Meek Stephens]]

'''GirlOnPolitics'''
*'''[[Kamala Harris (prostitute)]]'''
*'''[[Joe Kennedy]]'''
*'''[[Maxine Waters]]'''
*'''[[Dianne Feinstein]]'''
*[[Kennedy family]]
*[[Robert F. Kennedy]]
*[[Ted Kennedy]]
*[[Madeleine Albright]]
*‎[[Cory Booker]]
*[[Jeff Flake]]
*[[Harvey Milk]]
*[[Jimmy Carter]]

'''GirlAtLaw'''
*'''[[Roe v. Wade]]'''
*'''[[Title IX]]'''
*'''[[Anthony Kennedy]]'''
*[[Brett Kavanaugh]]
*[[Ruth Bader Ginsburg]]
*[[Clarence Thomas]]
*[[Sweet Cakes]]

'''GirlOnImmigration'''
*'''[[Maria Meza]]'''
*'''[[Jakelin Caal ]]'''
*'''[[DACA]]'''
*[[No Human Being is Illegal]]
*[[Sanctuary Cities]]
*[[Diversity Russian Roulette]]
*[[14 Heartbreaking Photos That Will Make You Say "Fuck Having Borders and Law And Shit"]]

'''GirlOnCamel'''
*‎[[White Helmets]]
*[[Al Jazeera]]
*[[Bana Alabed]]
*[[Rayyan Sokkarie]]
*[[Kwalah Noman]]

'''GirlOnGirl'''
*'''[[Femen]]'''
*'''[[ThotAudit]]'''
*'''[[Kesha]]'''
*'''[[Jee Jing]]'''
*'''[[Unrapeable]]'''
*[[Ashley Lynch]]
*[[Margaret Pless]]
*[[Melody Hensley]]
*[[Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls]]
*[[Problematic]]
*[[Katherine Cross]]
*[[The Tim Hunt Affair]]
*[[The Cosby Effect]]
*[[August Ames]]
*[[Nancybratt]]
*[[Bony Pink]]
*[[Maggie Lindemann]]
*[[HopeStillFlies]]
*[[Andi Dier]]
*[[Shannon Watts]]
*[[Kevin Burke]]
*[[Peter Daou]]
*[[Jamel Myles]]
*[[Raped Statistics]]
*[[Andi Dier]]

'''GirlOnShortbus'''
*'''[[Husker the Wolf]]'''
*'''[[Lucian Hodoboc]]'''
*'''[[Micah Dawson]]'''
*'''[[Colby James]]'''
*[[KodyBoy555]]

'''GirlWatchingAnime'''
*'''[[Kurt Eichenbald]]'''
*'''[[LeonX]]'''
*'''[[Revolutionary Girl Utena]]'''
*'''[[Netorare]]'''
*'''[[Netoraserare]]'''
*[[Misty Chronexia]]
*[[DATE]]
*[[Orz]]
*[[The Rapeman]]
*[[Mara]]
*[[Queen's Stallion]]
*[[Shanadrac]]
*[[Otako Studio]]
*[[Figure Collecting]]
*[[The Great Escape]]
*[[Uziga Waita]]
*[[Ska01trg00sp]]
*[[Pixiv]]
*[[Emergence]]

'''GirlOnGaming'''
*'''[[Fallout: Shadow of Boston]]'''
*'''[[The Outer Worlds]]'''
*'''[[Phantasy Star II]]'''
*'''[[Todd Rogers]]'''
*'''[[Rape Day]]'''
*[[Phantasy Star]]
*[[Phantasy Star III]]
*[[Phantasy Star IV]]
*[[Phantasy Star Online]]
*[[S.T.A.L.K.E.R.]]
*[[Starfield]]
*[[Far Cry 5]]
*[[Eurojank]]
*[[Linkle]]
*[[Billy Mitchell]]
*[[Nintendo Labo]]
*[[Shin Megami Tensei]]
*[[Wizardry]]
*[[PC-98]]

'''GirlOnSports'''
*'''[[Chyna]]'''
*[[Kamala Harris]]
*[[‎Michael Bennett]]

'''GirlInJungle'''
*[[Supreme|{{supreme}}]]
*'''[[Coolest Monkey in the Jungle]]'''
*'''[[Bill Cosby]]'''
*'''[[Korryn Gaines]]'''
*'''[[Bait Truck]]'''
*'''[[Zwarte Piet]]'''
*[[Defend Our Hoodz]]
*[[Jerelyn Luther]]
*[[Golliwogg]]
*[[Yasuke]]
*[[Piedmont Park Hanging]]

'''GirlBeingRandom'''
*'''[[Ouija Board]]'''
*'''[[I masterbauted right after the Sandy Hook Shooting]]'''
*'''[[Fight the New Drug]]'''
*'''[[Papa John's]]'''
*'''[[Sarah Andersen]]'''
*'''[[Learn the difference]]'''
*'''[[NOBODY SET ANYTHING, LAZY FAGGOTS]]'''
*'''[[Clarissa]]'''
*'''[[Tiana Dalichov]]'''
*[[Ernst Steiner]]
*[[Disagree]]
*[[Verified]] {{verified}}
*[[Elaine Herzberg]]
*[[Boycott]]
*[[Selena Lechuga]]
*[[George Takei]]
*[[Myanmar]]
*[[Andrew Oswalt]]
*[[David Duke]]
*[[Gremblo]]
*[[Fidget spinner]]
*[[Skibidi Toilet]]
*[[HopeStillFlies]]
*[[Angel Day]]
*[[KAWS]]
*[[Andy Warhol]]
*[[Marilyn Monroe]]

== Drafts (These [[Lie|might actually be completed some day]].) ==
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/RPG Elements]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Oviposition]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/GIRL]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Munchausen Syndrome]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Entomologist]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Guide to making false rape accusations]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Fakku]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Terra Formars]]

== Cunts ==

<big>'''What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.'''</big>

[[File:ShadmanLunaLewd.png|center|400px|link=Whore]]

{{gotis}}

== Satisfied Customers ==

[[File:VictimOfInternet.jpeg|thumb|200px|[[Ashley Lynch|Victim of GirlOnInternet]]]]

{{squote|Have been in contact with some people here and have been told that [[No|publishing someones name without there permission is illegal]] and their are actions that can and will be taken if my name is not removed from all of the pages where you are stated as an editor. You have 24 hours to remove the articles and/or my [[Powerword|full name]] from them before I puruse further actions, this includes the images of the quotes that are on the ED page. If after this period my name is attached to any of your articles/edits [[Internet Tough Guy|you will be held accountable]].|100% customer satisfaction guaranteed!}}

<div align="center">
{{frame|
{{morphquote|Reviews|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px;|font-weight: bold;

|Other than the fact that I have an unusual physical appearance, everything she wrote about me are lies. How can there be evidence of anything she wrote about me when it's not true?|Lucian Hodoboc's shitty review of GirlOnInternets' [[Lucian Hodoboc]] article

|You are seriously so sad that you had to type up something like that. Get a life. Plus why spread hate??|GlitterSebert's shitty review of GirlOnInternets' [[Kesha]] article

}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}}
</div>

[[File:CuntDestroyer.png|center|400px]]

== GalleryOnInternet ==

[[File:Ae-tanKiwifarmsBJ.png|center]]

<center><big>'''PEACE BETWEEN NATIONS'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Kappus.png|Fanart I made for [[Colby James]] in [[2015]] under the pseudonym Smegmasaurus.
File:KappusDrinksNiggerpiss.png|Updated version because [[Paheal]] are nazis.
File:SexySponge.png|[[Spengbab]] I made in [[2008]].

</gallery>}}
</center>

== How to Trigger Kurt Eichenbald ==

{{quote|Jews murdered Jesus.|GirlOnInternet, getting blocked by [[Kurt Eichenbald]]}}

== See Also ==

[[File:Rope.png|right|link=Kill Yourself]]

* [[Girl on the Internet Syndrome]]
* [[Whore]]
* [[Slut]]
* <s>{{Twitter|YourSluttyGF|GirlOnTwatternet}}</s> - Shoah'd
** {{Twitter|YourSluttierGF|GirlOnTwatternet 2: Eclectic Weeaboo}}
* {{archive|826FR|How GirlOnInternet got blocked by Kurt Eichenbald}}

[[File:ConsiderTheFollowing.jpg|center|link=Kill Yourself]]

<center>
{{co|VD|BRB SEIZURE|Click here if you are Kurt Eichenwald|0|

{{vd}}

|}}
</center>

{{EDGov|[[File:Niffty.gif|200px|border|link=]]}}

[[Category:Whores]]
{{#setlogo:GoiLogo.jpg}}

User talk:GirlOnInternet

2024-08-15T22:42:35Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
==graykat==

It's an image I found in my discord scraper. He's been making an asshat of himself all over the internet and someone screengrabbed him when his camera was on. [[User:.wil|.wil]] [[File:Gondola.gif|60px|link=User talk:.wil]] 08:36, 14 May 2021 (EDT)
:tried to put the real graykat image back, but couldn't find it. [[User:Leothekingofniggers|King Leo, Nigger King]] ([[User_talk:Leothekingofniggers|Talk]]) 08:47 14 may 2021 (edt)

== New article ==

Eurojunk is looking good. Adds some pics, and keep up the good work. [[File:Spinning 666 Star.gif|60px]] [[User:Hellfire|Hellfire]] ([[User talk:Hellfire|Talk]]) 22:10 26 June 2021 (EDT)

== hey... ==

https://web.archive.org/web/20190518001317/https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/User:GirlOnInternet/Chris_King

Here: [[User:Failman2|Failman2]] 12:00 22 December 2021 (ECT)

[[File:Gap3.jpg]]

== Sonicicide ==

I LOVE IT. I made it my phone's wallpaper.

[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 13:34, 26 June 2023 (EDT)

== Question ==

Like the Creampie Surprise sticker, I was wondering if I could make my Roger Waters Article an Aotn because it's relevant and I think it's pretty good. Asking cuz I don't want to look like an ass.
[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 18:21, 29 June 2023 (EDT)

== Article ==

Like your Kurt Eichenbald Article. I can't believe so.eone can be that douchy. You did a good job on it. Hope that there's a sequel.
[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 09:29, 4 July 2023 (EDT)
:He blocked me on Twitter because I said that the Jews murdered Jesus. [[User:GirlOnInternet|GirlOnInternet]] ([[User talk:GirlOnInternet|talk]]) 22:02, 11 July 2023 (EDT)

==Remove the time limit on edf==
Can you remove it? [[User:Hypebeat|Hypebeat]] ([[User talk:Hypebeat|talk]]) 21:31, 24 September 2023 (EDT)

== archives and server status ==

hi there, GOI. i was wondering if you knew anyone who would want to help run an archive of the sites's images and if there are any updates on who is currently managing the server for the wiki and forums. thx bb. xoxo -- [[image:DUSEDUSE CrackRabb Signature icon.png|60px|link=User:CrackRabbit]][[User:CrackRabbit|CrackRabbit]] '''|''' [[User_talk:CrackRabbit|'''Talk to me''']]'''|'''[[Special:Contributions/CrackRabbit|'''Contribs''']] 04:45, 7 October 2023 (EDT)

== I Did It Too ==

I made some Jew lose his shit on twitter because he was Jealous of my watch, a military watch I bought at the PX with my Dad's ID. I guess he looked up the price and when he saw how much more it cost than his $25 g-shock watch he lost his shit.
If he did it more interesting I'd have posted it.
[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 01:01, 8 October 2023 (EDT)

== Lol ==

I’ll keep the muzzies away. [[File:VFW-icon.png|32px]]<big>[[User:Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd|'''VF.Wyyzrd''']]([[User Talk:Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd|'''T''']] - [[Special:Contributions/Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd|'''C''']])</big> 21:17, 1 March 2024 (EST)

== XXBlackburnXx problem aka cat aka ddead blocked forever on wikialpha.org -Cat needs to be blocked immediately FOREVER n EVER!!!==

dude is 26 years old,interpol warrant issued in illinois, wanted for illegal DOS attacks, wasted life... he mostly des wikipedia, sleeps 1 hours, rest is screwing around wikis.
He always has excuses,he is sophisticated,as his edits confirm he knows wikimedia software well and many other internet tricks,,, he also knows how to shut down websites... I have no time to war edit with wikivomit!

Across wikipedias over the years he has caused damages to many... he is official garbageman for wikipedia, administratror on many wikipedians includiung meta.wikimedia where allthe useless stewards are https://encyclopediadramatica.gay/Special:Contributions/jimbo_Wales,he reverts spam and gambling links, never, ever contributes, never, ever builds articles!!!

It did notgo his way, he reported it and it was killed as he can do with encyclopedia dramatica and we dont need that again...

Also false accusations of socks,points out to some wikipedia hate page which could be anybody: wikialpha's writingSnowman:

https://encyclopediadramatica.gay/index.php?title=User:WritingSnowman&action=history this user is authentic!

This is him:im reporting myself for vandalizing and loving it - CHILD FUCKING ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA!!!

cloudflare.com/trust-hub/reporting-abuse/

more socks as usual:

https://encyclopediadramatica.gay/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&action=history creates bs account,then 20 minutes later looks like a "hero" i know how internet troll operate,especially those on wikipedia disaster, greatest "intelligence" disaster of 21st century!

https://encyclopediadramatica.gay/Special:Contributions/Hypeshot

he reverted, plays hero then comes back, he shits on my mainpage (read what i proposed how we should have option to prtect myspace)...he is

https://encyclopediadramatica.gay/User:Gerda_Arendt/Sandbox/XXBlackburnXx

<Is your emaila active?> If he emails you or other administrators make sure he is fully ignored...this is wiki=pedo-ia's double agent, also responsible for some inside illegal jobs with turbify/tucows terrorists who have senior editors within their groups and help each other... cat never contributes,all he does is corrects codes and moves pages... any fool can do that and it's arbitrary and edits are neutral,not needed..

he does rapid edits and knows his way around with wikimedia software, also calls everybody antandrus...
there will be constant war edits if you dont block the butthurt the wikifaggot maggot!!!

[[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]]) 19:22, 4 July 2024 (UTC)

:... what? [[User:GirlOnInternet|GirlOnInternet]] ([[User talk:GirlOnInternet|talk]]) 22:51, 4 July 2024 (UTC)

<As you know my time is liomited and i need safety watch over my edits...CAT N HIS SOCKS NEED TO GO FOREVER>... or overtime he will get your confidence and kill good articles, especially on wiki-pedo-ia where he is administrator, check my history of edits for ample proof... he is double agent for wikimedia foundation misinforamtion disinformation...this is only a drop in an ocean..wikidata.org/w/index.php?title=Q30680650&action=history he knows wikimedia software codes well, because of him and his fake accusations wikialpha.org was shut down,for more info let me email you... read all well again...[[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]]) 14:52, 6 July 2024 (UTC)

no doubt girlOnInternet is giving cat blow jobs and her nasty pussy too...tsk tsk tsk

== User Name Change ==

How to request it? [[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]]) 19:56, 4 July 2024 (UTC)
:By telling me what name you want. [[User:GirlOnInternet|GirlOnInternet]] ([[User talk:GirlOnInternet|talk]]) 22:49, 4 July 2024 (UTC)

Check my proposal for senior editors to have control over myspace/user space articles & talk pages!!! I have no time to protect my contributions myseklf from psycho butthurtwikicats 14:55, 6 July 2024 (UTC)[[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]])

Go over my proposals well... AGAIN... I need full guarantee of saFety of my edits and my space... change my name to GERDA THE JEWISH BITCH![[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]]) 05:36, 7 July 2024 (UTC)

: GERDA, THERE IS ZERO GUARANTEE OF EDITS SAFETY ON EDSHIT!!!

== YO!!! ==

Check your cookies or something... this log in info is too frequent: There seems to be a problem with your login session; this action has been canceled as a precaution against session hijacking. Please resubmit the form.

== Liking All The Changes You've Made ==

My favorite is the half screen where you can type on one half and see the changes you've made on the other.

[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]])

Bobby Vinton rules, even though he is only 1/4 Polish! [[User:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] ([[User talk:Gerda Arendt|talk]]) 05:36, 7 July 2024 (UTC)

== Antandrus aka cat aka XXBlackburnXx encyclopediadramatica.gay/index.php?title=User:WritingSnowman/Sandbox&diff=prev&oldid=1876989 ==
<s>
It looks like [[user:Antandrus|Antandrus]] returned as [[user:Gerda Arendt|Gerda Arendt]] with a shitload of socks (currently in [[:Category:Deathrow]]). Please ban them. --[[User:Cat|Cat]] ([[User talk:Cat|talk]]) 05:47, 8 July 2024 (UTC)
: Now active as [[user:Matěj Suchánek|Matěj Suchánek]]. --[[User:Cat|Cat]] ([[User talk:Cat|talk]]) 00:58, 9 July 2024 (UTC)
:: [[user:GARAGE|GARAGE]]... --[[User:Cat|Cat]] ([[User talk:Cat|talk]]) 07:43, 20 July 2024 (UTC)
::: Might be worth it to create a [[Special:AbuseFilter|filter]] ([[mw:Extension:AbuseFilter|docs]]) to disallow certain edits. --[[User:Cat|Cat]] ([[User talk:Cat|talk]]) 08:22, 22 July 2024 (UTC)</s>

: '''''HEY STUPID LESBIAN EDWHORE.. I DONT FUCKING GET MAD,I GET FUCKING EVEN BITCH..I JUST REPORTED YOU TO CLOUDFLARE,, UN THE ONE WHO FUCKED .RS UPO, AS I SOEAK ALL SLAVIC LANGUAGES WELL.. IM THE ONE WHO FUCKED UP WIKIALPHA.OR THANX TO CAT'S BS AND LIES..YOU WANT FUCKING WAR,I DONT FUCKING MIND..NOW GO AND BLOCK ME.. YOU BETTER MAKE ME ADMINISTRATOR. THIS IS THE ONLY FUCKING WARNING YOU GET BITCH, I HAVE 100 MORE ACCOUTNS IN GOOD STANDINGS HERE.. I CAN EASILY GET MY AGENDA ACROSS. I HAVE 10000000000000000 ACCOUNTS OIN WIKIPEDOIA IN GOOD STANDINGS AS OF 2005, TO EASILY WRITE MORE SHIT ON E-DRAMATICA, I CAN NOT BE TRACED THERE... I DONT FUCKING GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY OF ME...YOU FUCKING INGRATE WHORE,I DIONT FUCKING GO DOWN EASY,O HELL NOW! KEEPON BEING INGRATE ONE SIDED FUCKING WHROE. NO PROBLEMO BITCH AND SERE WHAT HAPPENS...

=== MOTHERFUCKING WHORE...I HAVE MANY ACCOUNTS,READ HOW I INFILTRATE YOUR GROUPS BITCH... FUCKIN DIE! I DONT GIVE A FUCK YOU BLOCK ME,INGRATE TRASH! ===

IMMEDIATLEY UNBLOCKED WMFOffice YOU ONE SIDED WHORE...YOU WILL BLOCK YOUR RAPIST CAT FOREVER, OR I WILL FUCKING TAKE YOU DOWN AGAIN,JUST FUCKING TYR ME..I HAVE MANY MORE ACCOUNTS I WILL USE AT THE LATER TIME...AND THERE ARE TWO ED LONG TIME USERS HELPING ME,BITCH IM AROUND ED SINCE 2006...

== Can You Fix This? ==
For some reason, when you use thumb on a Pic, it puts the Pic in the center of the page.]

[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 19:51, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
:Where is this happening? I just tested and it seemed fine. [[User:GirlOnInternet|GirlOnInternet]] ([[User talk:GirlOnInternet|talk]]) 20:03, 16 July 2024 (UTC)

** it might be because I'm using a phone, have the Samsung fold.

*** DID what you said about checking my work. Before posting August's XOTNs I checked it 4 times and I'm pretty sure there isn't a mistake in them.

[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 20:21, 17 July 2024 (UTC)

** I really like what you added to the Trump on the QOTN. You are an artist My Lady

[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 00:55, 18 July 2024 (UTC)

== What Is An EDiot ==

Sounds cool.

[[User:The PolishPrince|The PolishPrince]] ([[User talk:The PolishPrince|talk]]) 19:37, 18 July 2024 (UTC)

:CLU added that group when it should have been EDitor. He then gave out that group along with EDitor perms to all users who registered for a little while. This caused issues, so the EDiot group is being removed and the EDitor group is replacing it. Registration has also been reenabled. [[User:GirlOnInternet|GirlOnInternet]] ([[User talk:GirlOnInternet|talk]]) 19:46, 18 July 2024 (UTC)

== YOU CHOSE TO LISTEN TO CAT AKA XXBlackburnXx (wikipedia's spy) aka ddead (deadbrain) FOREVER blocked on wikialpha.org BITCH, NOW ITS TRULY TIME T0 MAKE YOU FUCKING BLEED SLOWLY BUT SURELY,YOU ONE SIDED LESBIAN WHORE... ==

YOU WILL BLEED SLOWLY BUT SURELY...

== hi ==

finally a tld i can get behind. and in front of. and under. can i have my old job back, for the 3rd time this year [[User:H64|H64]] ([[User talk:H64|talk]]) 02:33, 24 July 2024 (UTC)
: ye. thankie [[User:H64|H64]] ([[User talk:H64|talk]]) 02:40, 24 July 2024 (UTC)

== [[favicon.ico]] ==

does this article exist for the mediawiki to function, or? i reinstated its protection btw. [[User:H64|H64]] ([[User talk:H64|talk]]) 05:32, 25 July 2024 (UTC)

----

not sure you have it configured right,
<pre>
$ curl -I https://encyclopediadramatica.gay/favicon.ico
HTTP/2 301
...
content-type: text/html; charset=UTF-8
...
</pre>
[[User:H64|H64]] ([[User talk:H64|talk]]) 05:44, 25 July 2024 (UTC)

----

ur gonna hafta make an exception for it in the web server itself so it doesn't try going through mediawiki index, it has to serve as a static file. otherwise it's just gonna try showing the wiki page to robots/browsers looking for the icon. [[User:H64|H64]] ([[User talk:H64|talk]]) 06:24, 25 July 2024 (UTC)

== kopmalla ==

GJ with all the time you're putting into it but the [[Kamala Harris]] article reeks of Obama-era boomer shit. there are a lot of other (real) things she could be getting dragged for that won't read like you just shot meth up your ass and started mashing your keyboard like my raving lunatic uncle at thanksgiving. like locking people up for smoking pot but also then laughing about how she used to smoke it. that's good, more of that. [[User:H64|H64]] ([[User talk:H64|talk]]) 08:25, 25 July 2024 (UTC)

== EDF Banners ==

I saw you asking Kleetus for EDF banners. Since he won't be back for a few days I thought I'd dump all the ones I got in the mean time. Hope this helps.

206 Files:

https://files.catbox.moe/utbuh6.zip

--'''[[User:Psychotic_Dictatorship|Yours truly, Psychotic Dictatorship]]''' ([[User talk:Psychotic_Dictatorship|talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/Psychotic_Dictatorship|contribs]]) 21:13, 26 July 2024 (UTC)

== front page portal list ==

i'd like to move it below GNA/BNA, above the footer. thoughts? prayers? DYK should definitely be above it though. [[User:H64|h64]] ([[User talk:H64|talk]]) 22:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)

User:GirlOnInternet

2024-08-15T22:42:12Z

Yamla:

{{DISPLAYTITLE:EDitor in Chief, GirlOnInternet}}
: ''GirlOnInternet should not be confused with: [[Girlvinyl|Girlvinyl's]] [[OhInternet]]''

[[File:Niffty.gif|right|250px]]

'''GirlOnInternet'''{{cite}} is a 30-something [[Cyberpunk|advanced AI construct]] that has been editing [[Encyclopædia Dramatica]] since the days of '''.se''' starting with the articles ''[[LeonX]]'', ''[[Netorare]]'', ''[[Revolutionary Girl Utena]]'', ''[[Netoraserare]]'' and ''[[Fallout: Shadow of Boston]]''. GirlOnInternet has been a user and [[sysop]] since [[2015]] and a [[Bureaucratic Fuck|Jewfrocrat]] since [[2019]]. GirlOnInternet is also the creator of [[Template:RapeSeries]]. It is purely [[Coincidence Detector|(((coincidental)))]] that the acronym for GirlOnInternet happens to be [[Goy|GOI]].

GirlOnInternet enjoys using avatars from ''[[Hazbin Hotel]]'', ''[[Homestuck]]'' and other [[cringe]]y [[cartoons]] just to [[Troll|provoke a reaction]]. GirlOnInternet dislikes {{Supreme}} and other retarded [[hypebeast]] bullshit. GirlOnInternet believes [[abortion]] should be illegal not out of [[Christfag|moral objections]], but [[For the lulz|because it would be extremely funny]]. GirlOnInternet collects [[anime figures]] and enjoys reading [[degenerate]] [[hentai]] [[manga]]. GirlOnInternet has also gotten ED's official [[Twitter]]{{verified}} account banned [[at least 100]] times.

You may contact GirlOnInternet on '''[https://discord.gg/77MDdGYATd ED Discord]''' ('''@girlvinyl'''), on '''[https://{{SERVERNAME}}/index.php?title=User_talk:GirlOnInternet&action=edit&section=new the wiki]''' or on '''[https://forums.{{SERVERNAME}}/members/girloninternet.450/ EDF]'''. You can piss off GirlOnInternet and not face any consequences.

{{TimeOnED|year=2015|month=10|day=03}}
__TOC__

{{clear}}

== The (Almost) Complete Works of GirlOnInternet ==

[[File:BetterWithBernie.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Bernie Goetz]] is one of GirlOnInternet's favorite Jews.]]

'''GirlDoingCrime'''
*'''[[Bernie Goetz]]'''
*'''[[The Central Park Five]]'''
*'''[[Marcellus Williams]]'''
*'''[[Cyntoia Brown]]'''
*'''[[Nasim Aghdam]]'''
*'''[[Sanctioned Suicide]]'''
*'''[[Brenda Ann Spencer]]'''
*'''[[Sean Windingland]]'''
*'''[[Belen Aldecosea]]'''
*[[Linda Carty]]
*[[George Stinney]]
*[[Leo Frank]]
*[[Floyd Lee Corkins]]
*[[Andrew Kehoe]]
*[[Hussein Khavari]]
*[[Nicholas Giampa]]
*[[Lakeith Smith]]
*[[Getting away with it]]
*[[Knife Control]]

[[File:RoadkillNights.jpg|thumb|GirlOnInternet believes [[James Alex Fields]] is innocent.]]

'''GirlOnTrump'''
*'''[[Doomsday Clock]]'''
*'''[[Valerie Plame]]'''
*'''[[The Krassenstein Brothers]]'''
*'''[[Keith Olbermann]]'''
*'''[[James Alex Fields]]'''
*'''[[DisruptJ20]]'''
*'''[[Seth Rich]]'''
*'''[[Jussie Smollett]]'''
*'''[[Jessica Leeds]]'''
*'''[[BLMKidnapping]]'''
*'''[[Steele Dossier]]'''
*[[Stormy Daniels]]
*[[ImposterBuster]]
*[[Scott Allen Meek Stephens]]

'''GirlOnPolitics'''
*'''[[Kamala Harris (prostitute)]]'''
*'''[[Joe Kennedy]]'''
*'''[[Maxine Waters]]'''
*'''[[Dianne Feinstein]]'''
*[[Kennedy family]]
*[[Robert F. Kennedy]]
*[[Ted Kennedy]]
*[[Madeleine Albright]]
*‎[[Cory Booker]]
*[[Jeff Flake]]
*[[Harvey Milk]]
*[[Jimmy Carter]]

'''GirlAtLaw'''
*'''[[Roe v. Wade]]'''
*'''[[Title IX]]'''
*'''[[Anthony Kennedy]]'''
*[[Brett Kavanaugh]]
*[[Ruth Bader Ginsburg]]
*[[Clarence Thomas]]
*[[Sweet Cakes]]

'''GirlOnImmigration'''
*'''[[Maria Meza]]'''
*'''[[Jakelin Caal ]]'''
*'''[[DACA]]'''
*[[No Human Being is Illegal]]
*[[Sanctuary Cities]]
*[[Diversity Russian Roulette]]
*[[14 Heartbreaking Photos That Will Make You Say "Fuck Having Borders and Law And Shit"]]

'''GirlOnCamel'''
*‎[[White Helmets]]
*[[Al Jazeera]]
*[[Bana Alabed]]
*[[Rayyan Sokkarie]]
*[[Kwalah Noman]]

'''GirlOnGirl'''
*'''[[Femen]]'''
*'''[[ThotAudit]]'''
*'''[[Kesha]]'''
*'''[[Jee Jing]]'''
*'''[[Unrapeable]]'''
*[[Ashley Lynch]]
*[[Margaret Pless]]
*[[Melody Hensley]]
*[[Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls]]
*[[Problematic]]
*[[Katherine Cross]]
*[[The Tim Hunt Affair]]
*[[The Cosby Effect]]
*[[August Ames]]
*[[Nancybratt]]
*[[Bony Pink]]
*[[Maggie Lindemann]]
*[[HopeStillFlies]]
*[[Andi Dier]]
*[[Shannon Watts]]
*[[Kevin Burke]]
*[[Peter Daou]]
*[[Jamel Myles]]
*[[Raped Statistics]]
*[[Andi Dier]]

'''GirlOnShortbus'''
*'''[[Husker the Wolf]]'''
*'''[[Lucian Hodoboc]]'''
*'''[[Micah Dawson]]'''
*'''[[Colby James]]'''
*[[KodyBoy555]]

'''GirlWatchingAnime'''
*'''[[Kurt Eichenbald]]'''
*'''[[LeonX]]'''
*'''[[Revolutionary Girl Utena]]'''
*'''[[Netorare]]'''
*'''[[Netoraserare]]'''
*[[Misty Chronexia]]
*[[DATE]]
*[[Orz]]
*[[The Rapeman]]
*[[Mara]]
*[[Queen's Stallion]]
*[[Shanadrac]]
*[[Otako Studio]]
*[[Figure Collecting]]
*[[The Great Escape]]
*[[Uziga Waita]]
*[[Ska01trg00sp]]
*[[Pixiv]]
*[[Emergence]]

'''GirlOnGaming'''
*'''[[Fallout: Shadow of Boston]]'''
*'''[[The Outer Worlds]]'''
*'''[[Phantasy Star II]]'''
*'''[[Todd Rogers]]'''
*'''[[Rape Day]]'''
*[[Phantasy Star]]
*[[Phantasy Star III]]
*[[Phantasy Star IV]]
*[[Phantasy Star Online]]
*[[S.T.A.L.K.E.R.]]
*[[Starfield]]
*[[Far Cry 5]]
*[[Eurojank]]
*[[Linkle]]
*[[Billy Mitchell]]
*[[Nintendo Labo]]
*[[Shin Megami Tensei]]
*[[Wizardry]]
*[[PC-98]]

'''GirlOnSports'''
*'''[[Chyna]]'''
*[[Kamala Harris]]
*[[‎Michael Bennett]]

'''GirlInJungle'''
*[[Supreme|{{supreme}}]]
*'''[[Coolest Monkey in the Jungle]]'''
*'''[[Bill Cosby]]'''
*'''[[Korryn Gaines]]'''
*'''[[Bait Truck]]'''
*'''[[Zwarte Piet]]'''
*[[Defend Our Hoodz]]
*[[Jerelyn Luther]]
*[[Golliwogg]]
*[[Yasuke]]
*[[Piedmont Park Hanging]]

'''GirlBeingRandom'''
*'''[[Ouija Board]]'''
*'''[[I masterbauted right after the Sandy Hook Shooting]]'''
*'''[[Fight the New Drug]]'''
*'''[[Papa John's]]'''
*'''[[Sarah Andersen]]'''
*'''[[Learn the difference]]'''
*'''[[NOBODY SET ANYTHING, LAZY FAGGOTS]]'''
*'''[[Clarissa]]'''
*'''[[Tiana Dalichov]]'''
*[[Ernst Steiner]]
*[[Disagree]]
*[[Verified]] {{verified}}
*[[Elaine Herzberg]]
*[[Boycott]]
*[[Selena Lechuga]]
*[[George Takei]]
*[[Myanmar]]
*[[Andrew Oswalt]]
*[[David Duke]]
*[[Gremblo]]
*[[Fidget spinner]]
*[[Skibidi Toilet]]
*[[HopeStillFlies]]
*[[Angel Day]]
*[[KAWS]]
*[[Andy Warhol]]
*[[Marilyn Monroe]]

== Drafts (These [[Lie|might actually be completed some day]].) ==
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/RPG Elements]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Oviposition]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/GIRL]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Munchausen Syndrome]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Entomologist]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Guide to making false rape accusations]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Fakku]]
*[[User:GirlOnInternet/Terra Formars]]

== Cunts ==

<big>'''What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.'''</big>

[[File:ShadmanLunaLewd.png|center|400px|link=Whore]]

{{gotis}}

== Satisfied Customers ==

[[File:VictimOfInternet.jpeg|thumb|200px|[[Ashley Lynch|Victim of GirlOnInternet]]]]

{{squote|Have been in contact with some people here and have been told that [[No|publishing someones name without there permission is illegal]] and their are actions that can and will be taken if my name is not removed from all of the pages where you are stated as an editor. You have 24 hours to remove the articles and/or my [[Powerword|full name]] from them before I puruse further actions, this includes the images of the quotes that are on the ED page. If after this period my name is attached to any of your articles/edits [[Internet Tough Guy|you will be held accountable]].|100% customer satisfaction guaranteed!}}

<div align="center">
{{frame|
{{morphquote|Reviews|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px;|font-weight: bold;

|Other than the fact that I have an unusual physical appearance, everything she wrote about me are lies. How can there be evidence of anything she wrote about me when it's not true?|Lucian Hodoboc's shitty review of GirlOnInternets' [[Lucian Hodoboc]] article

|You are seriously so sad that you had to type up something like that. Get a life. Plus why spread hate??|GlitterSebert's shitty review of GirlOnInternets' [[Kesha]] article

}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}}
</div>

[[File:CuntDestroyer.png|center|400px]]

== GalleryOnInternet ==

[[File:Ae-tanKiwifarmsBJ.png|center]]

<center><big>'''PEACE BETWEEN NATIONS'''</big></center>

<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Kappus.png|Fanart I made for [[Colby James]] in [[2015]] under the pseudonym Smegmasaurus.
File:KappusDrinksNiggerpiss.png|Updated version because [[Paheal]] are nazis.
File:SexySponge.png|[[Spengbab]] I made in [[2008]].

</gallery>}}
</center>

== How to Trigger Kurt Eichenbald ==

{{quote|Jews murdered Jesus.|GirlOnInternet, getting blocked by [[Kurt Eichenbald]]}}

== See Also ==

[[File:Rope.png|right|link=Kill Yourself]]

* [[Girl on the Internet Syndrome]]
* [[Whore]]
* [[Slut]]
* <s>{{Twitter|YourSluttyGF|GirlOnTwatternet}}</s> - Shoah'd
** {{Twitter|YourSluttierGF|GirlOnTwatternet 2: Eclectic Weeaboo}}
* {{archive|826FR|How GirlOnInternet got blocked by Kurt Eichenbald}}

[[File:ConsiderTheFollowing.jpg|center|link=Kill Yourself]]

<center>
{{co|VD|BRB SEIZURE|Click here if you are Kurt Eichenwald|0|

{{vd}}

|}}
</center>

{{EDGov|[[File:Niffty.gif|200px|border|link=]]}}

[[Category:Whores]]
{{#setlogo:GoiLogo.jpg}}

The Donald

2024-08-15T22:39:59Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{天|1=<div style="text-align:left;padding:10px;"> <big>WARNING:</big> This page looks like it was written by [[Jews]]</div>|2=Jewsyoulose.jpg|3=100px|4=#fc372d|5=275px|6=0px|7=2px solid Black|8=0px}}

:'''''The Donald''' redirects here. For the subreddit, check out '''[[TheDonald]]'''. ''
:'''''However,''' if you are a [[Faggot|liberal]] or a [[Racist|Neo]]-[[Faggot|Nazi]] in need of [[Srs bsns|serious]] [[Safe Space|truth]] about the God-Emperor, check out '''[[Donald Drumpf]]'''.''
{{spoiler|He almost got assassinated}}
{{achtung|((([[Thomas Matthew Crooks|THOMAS MATTHEW CROOKS]]))) FAILED TO TAKE OUR GOD-EMPEROR AWAY FROM US! MAY HE LIVE ON FOREVER!}}
[[File:Donald trump hires jesus christ.jpg|center]]
 
[[File:EmperorTrump.png|right|300px|thumb|This Man has generated more [[butthurt]] than the rest of our political establishment, mass media and the one percent combined.]]
[[File:King Donald Trump.jpg|300px|thumb|Say My Name Bitch]]
[[File:Trump-sacred-meme.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The Sacred Trump Meme]]

'''His Grace, the Imperial Majesty on the Iron Throne, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus "Pußygrabbin" I of the House of Trump''' will make [[Warhammer|Warhammer 40,000]] real. He is a [[pretty cool guy]] and [[2016 Presidential Elections|the 45th president]] of the [[United States]] and doesn't afraid of anything. Never half-piss around when President Trump is near cause He'll [[rape]] you for not fully pissing around, fire you for being unproductive, sue you for [[libel]], and pillage your clan of its cattle and [[whores|fertile women]]. Trump literally put an epic [[Death Note|Just As Planned]]: exactly at the time when Hillary was gloating over cheating and controlling the Polls, the Donald unleashed his secret superweapon, the Silent Majority who didn't participate in Clinton's rigged polls but revealed their support for Trump in the election. Before having the 2020 election stolen from him by [[Jews|(((them)))]], Trump was on the [[Game of Thrones|Iron Throne]], gloating [[Trollface|U mad SJWs?]] while Democrats were committing mass suicide while yelling "[[Planet of the Apes|You maniacs! You should have endorsed Bernie Sanders! Damn you, God Damn You All to Hell!!]]"
 

{{Quote|'''Donald Trump is a genius.'''|[https://www.thewrap.com/michael-moore-roseanne-totally-nuts-trump-evil-genius/ Michael Moore]}}

==2016 Nomination==
[[File:ChrisChanHatesTrump.PNG|thumb|right|360px|An [[Chris Chan|average U.S. citizen]]'s [[Butthurt|reaction]] to Donald Trump winning the elections.]]
[[File:Trump's goldfinger.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Hail the God Emperor]]
[[File:Making racism cool again.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Hang out the flags!]]
[[File:Love trump's hate.png|right|thumb|200px|A grammar Nazi is fine too]]
*Trump has won the nomination by default.
*The last of the republican nominees quit.
*[[Hillary Clinton]] was the last person left in His way, but He rose to power nonetheless.
*The establishment didn't want it.
*Leaders of the RNC didn't want it.
*Most of the mainstream media pundits didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of people polled didn't want it.
*Obama didn't want it.
*Comey didn't want it.
*Le epic liberal celebrities like [[John Oliver]], [[retard|Bill Maher]], [[Stephen Colbert]], and [[Jon Stewart]] didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of the media didn't want it, including [[Hollywood]].
*Goldman Sachs didn't want it.
*JP Morgan didn't want it.
*George Soros didn't want it.
*A shitload of other SJW apologists and globalist Muslim importers didn't want it.
*The overwhelming majority of elitist out-of-touch faggots colluding with the media didn't want it.
**But the postman delivering your mail wanted it.
**Your barber down the street wanted it.
**Your local plumber fixing your pipes wanted it.
**The hardworking coal miner who worked 20 hours a day to put his two kids through college wanted it.
**The man driving you on the bus wanted it.
**The people wanted it.

{{tinyrainbow|'''And the people won.'''}}
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>zT0Rjc6jKCg</youtube> <center></center> 
|<youtube>nRp1CK_X_Yw</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>0z0iuWh3sek</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>SM0cAzjZbEI</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

 

=== Drama-whoring as political activism ===
[[File:Hurricane donald.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The calm at the center of the storm]]
[[File:New yorker editor denounces president-elect trump.jpg|220px|thumb|right|[[TL;DR]] - [[BAWWW|"BAWWW!"]]]]
Prior to Trump winning the 2016 election, countless individuals across the Unites States vowed to become expatriates. Some throwers of said political tantrums are more noteworthy than others:

#[[The Colbert Report|Stephen Colbert]]
#Jimmy Kimmel
#[[The Daily Show|Trevor Noah]]
#[[Rosie O’Donnell]]
#Ashley "I'm A Nasty Woman" Judd
#Kathy Griffin [[White Trash|Unfunny Irish Catholic Soulless Ginger]]
#[[Amy Schumer]] and her fat vagina{{jew}}
#[[Lena Dunham|Lena]] [[Dyke|Dunham]]{{jew}}
#Alyssa Milano
#Chelsea Handler{{jew}}
#[[J.K. Rowling]]
#[[Miley Cyrus]]
#[[Whoopi Goldberg]]{{jew}}
#[[Stephen King]]
#Rob Reiner
#Samuel Jackson
#George Lopez
#George Clooney and his Muslim wife Amal
#[[Al Sharpton]]
#[[The Daily Show|Jon "Stewart" Leibowitz]]{{jew}}
#Eddie Griffin
#Cher
#Scarlett Johansson
#Raven-Symoné
#Barry Diller
#[[Katie Hopkins]]
#Omari Hardwick
#Bryan Cranston
#Katy Perry
#[[Joy Villa]] lied about supporting Trump for [[Scientology]]
#Madonna
#Chris Evans
#[[Star Wars|Mark Hamill]]
#[[Tara Strong]]{{jew}}
#[[Anita Sarkeesian]] wants more [[Patreon|victim]] bucks because of her feelings
#[[Brianna Wu]] blames [[GamerGate]] and wants to run for Congress in 2018
#Firecrotch
#Megyn Kelly
#Literally every crybaby liberal between the ages of 14-22

===Trump 'Make America Great Again' hat meme===
In 2015, President Trump introduced His campaign swag bearing the slogan 'Make America Great Again'.
Although Ronald Reagan was the original user of this legendary phrase, Trump was the first to put it on a hat.
By the end of 2016, everyone in America who wasn't an ISIS member or SJW was sporting the popular 'Make America Great Again' ballcap!!
<center><youtube>Jv4Ubp0hdEU</youtube></center>

==[[2016 Presidential Election]]==
{{Spoilers|Donnie just won [[The game]], because of all the [[white|WHITE]] REDNECKS in flyover states that HATE AMERICA}}
{{achtung|'''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBABS]]. [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|BURN]] [[Feminism|FEMINISTS]]. [[Banned|DEPORT]] [[Mexican|ILLEGALS]].''' ''' [[Warhammer|THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND PROTECTS ALL!]]'''}}
 
[[File:Trump ringside fist salute.gif|center]]
 
[[File:Warrior trump 345.jpg|center|450px]]
[[File:General patton is donald trump.jpg|right|thumb|All-American heroes]]
[[File:Huffington_Post_on_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|If only pundits were as aware as this meme regarding Trump's rise.]]
[[File:Donald_Trump_RAPE.png|right|thumb|Self Explanatory.]]
[[File:Unstumpable_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|[[Mantrain|The Trump Train]] has no brakes!]]
[[File:America's new frontier trump wall.jpg|thumb|left|Sorry but we have cool shit back here.]]
[[File:Trumpvsbernie.jpg|right|thumb|150px|This is what [[Liberalism|liberals]] actually believe.]]
{{quote|To understand today’s Republican Party, you have to understand that despite the fact that they had on the stage five governors, three senators, and a retarded neurosurgeon, first and foremost they wanted to get the opinion of President Donald Trump — a ham-colored cartoon character from I Love the ‘80s. Once you accept that, the rest of the night makes perfect sense.

That’s all they have to sell: fear. Hope and change meet pee and poo. The entire slate of them up there seemed entirely unaware of the fact that women can now vote. Megyn Kelly asked President Trump right off the bat about President Trump calling women ‘fat pigs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘dogs.’ Trump’s answer? ‘I don’t have time for political correctness.’ He’s like one of those construction workers from the ‘70s who goes, ‘Nice tits. Oh, what? I can’t compliment a lady anymore?’ It’s crazy.”| --[http://www.salon.com/2015/08/08/bill_maher_unloads_on_nasty_boorish_sexist_ignorant_smug_donald_trump/ Bill Maher,] a typical lolbertarian who can't be more mature than "pee and poo."}}

{{quote|Sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.|[[Chris-chan]] [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/$50_for_a_video_holiday_greeting! stumps the Trump]. (Now that Chris-chan's a shemale, he's a leftist.)}}

After 18 months of relentless bitchfighting, constant bashing by the media to the point of obvious bias and collusion, literal loathing by leftists and extreme institutional corruption, Trump still won the 2016 United States Presidential election and became POTUS. GG. 
[[File:Bill and hillary clinton are gracious in defeat.jpg|center|500px]] 
{{clear}}

=== Rick Wilson ===

[[File:RickWilson.jpg|right|thumb|250px|What goes around...]]

Within the frigid depths of January, [[2016]], Republican media consultant and adviser to multiple failed candidates Rick Wilson railed against Trump the only way he knew how. During a [[old media|television interview]], Wilson denounced Trump's younger supporters as "childless single men who masturbate to anime and will never amount to anything." Though none can deny the obvious truth of such a statement, said lack of refutation did nothing to deter something along the lines of [[CIA|blowback]].

Watchful and doubtlessly butthurt Trumpenkriegers almost immediately discovered that Wilson's son was a 19-year-old layabout whose primary activity was writing and publishing [https://web.archive.org/web/20170125082843/http://rachelvaltrexacote.kinja.com/when-a-gop-pundit-attacked-trolls-responded-what-they-1754204712 blatantly cringeworthy snuff and rape fapfiction]. In particular, Rick Wilson's son, Andrew Wilson, enjoys fantasizing about brutally beating and raping prostitutes and pissing down their throats. It appears as though Wilson has yet to realize the [[hypocrisy]] of the situation, as his own deviant wastrel is no better than the weeaboos he openly loathes.

Strangely enough, this is not the only time that Wilson's name has surfaced in connection with dodgy fiction about Trump and pissing prostitutes.
 
 
{{main|GoldenShowerGate}}
 

===Grab Them By The Bush===
[[File:Ave trumpus maximus.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Trumpus [[Hugh Mungus|Maximus]]]]
It wouldn't be a Presidential election without an attempt to rig it being made by the Bush dynasty, and 2016 was no exception.

In October 2016, a tape emerged, in which The Donald is heard engaging in harmless banter about how He [[Fuck her right in the pussy|flirts with the laydees.]]

The libtard media naturally went apeshit over it, announcing it as [[GAME OVER YEAH|'game over']] for the touching-up-loving Tycoon.

What they missed was that {{archive|eT2XI|the source}} for the tape (recorded in 2005 and kept secret till now [[Obvious|for some reason]]) is the nephew of [[George Herbert Walker Bush|George HW Bush]] and therefore [[Jeb Bush]]'s cousin. Update: January 19, 2017. A day before Trump's inauguration, Grandpa Bush was taken into hospital, scheduled for release the day after the event. Obviously trying to establish [[I see what you did there|a water-tight alibi.]]

===Almost rapist===
Weeks before [[2016_Presidential_Election|election day]], multiple women came forward accusing The Donald of [[almost raped|almost rape]], over a year into His campaign, and years after the fact. One woman even accused the billionaire of kissing her on the lips! How the fuck does a [[Christian Grey|sexually aggressive billionaire in a suit]] keep getting away with it? What woman fantasizes about that? Women didn't buy [[Fifty Shades of Grey]], the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Thanks to Billy Bush, who was fired by the Today Show, we all know what kind of man Trump really is! What [[wimmins|woman]] would ever want a rich white guy to grab them by the pussy? Apparently, 1998 Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen McDougal, who allegedly had an affair with The Donald from 2005 to 2006 while He was married to Melania Trump. McDougal allegedly told her story to the National Enquirer a decade later for $150,000. But that's just tabloid garbage, like [[Bill Clinton]] supposedly having an affair with Gennifer Flowers for a dozen years, or Bill Clinton supposedly raping Juanita Broaddrick in 1987, or Bill Clinton supposedly settling with Paula Jones for $850,000, or [[Hillary Clinton]] flying to Orgy Island with Jeffrey Epstein at least 6 times. [[Amirite]]? The White House has standards people! You can't just put [[Democrat|some guy]] into the White House who's going to [[JFK|fuck Marilyn Monroe]] or [[Bill Clinton|get]] a [[fellatio|BJ]] in the Oval Office from a [[Monica Lewinsky|Jewish intern]] and stick a cigar up her cooch. Women will not stand for it!

==Achievements Unlocked==
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|150G - Won the Presidency of the United States|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|20G - Grab her by the pussy|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Defeat Hillary Clinton on Veteran Difficulty|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|40G - Defeat the Mainstream Media|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|10G - Announce to ban the Muslims|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Survive a Headshot|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 

=== Executive Order Meme ===

Trump began to sign many executive orders a few days after he got into power. As he was being recorded, he held up an open folder presenting the details for the camera in a professional way. Due to the exploitable nature of the footage, people immediately began to shit out a bunch of cancerous memes from the {{Youtube|9HKBPwuFCyQ|video}}:

{{cg|'''Executive Memes'''|foldier|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump Book Liking Traps.png
File:Trump Book Scat.jpg
File:Trump Book Reply.jpg
File:Trump Book No More Smugs.png
File:Trump Book Salem.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===Post-Donald chimpouts===
[[File:J20 naked fat fuck.jpg|thumb|200px|Tuck Frump!]]
[[File:CR8hHrlWoAAJ-mO.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical liberal hate art.]]
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|donaldchimpouts|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>PLr2kOrABN4</youtube> <center>'''A protestor shows off his [[micropenis]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>nKMSWAGTU0E</youtube> <center>'''Brought to you by [[Happy Merchant|George Soros]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>UVE0JekVvt0</youtube> <center>'''How to beat a Trump supporter in an argument,works every time'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>
{{clear}}

=== Skills and XP points===
[[Image:Trumphair.jpg|left|thumb|150px||Sif's hair toupée.]]
*President Trump has the unique and awesome ability to dupe both [[Jews]] and [[You|goyim]] out of their money like a Chinaman.
*President Trump also has the ability to suspend time itself. This amazing power means that even though He continues to get older, His girlfriends never age beyond 23.
*Pissing off [[Liberal|libcucks]] and [[niggers]] by cutting their [[Holocaust|6 million]] [[Welfare|welfare programs]] and federal funding for studies of [[lesbian]] polar bears, all in order to [[pwn]] [[Muslim|Mudslimes]].
*Extra Points against [[Mexicans|Barbarians]]
*Can start a Golden Age (will consume the unit)
*[[You|Fags]] at ED stand behind Him every step of the way.
*President Trump can take a clean head shot and be unfazed.
<div style="height:100px; margin-bottom: 100px;"></div>

=== Known super powers===
* Capable of dodging bullets aimed at the back of his head from FBI snipers at ranges as close of 150 yards.

==Gallery of Greatness Again==
{{clear}}

===Make Trump Images Uploaded to ED Great Again===
{{cg|President Trump Gallery|trump|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:KingTrump.JPG
Image:TrumpWhiteHouse.JPG|Back to the Future Predicted Trump as President only off by 1 year. That's heavy.
Image:PresidentTrumpGTA5.JPG|My GTA 5 Online Character is now great again!
Image:Trump_Waifu.jpeg|Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
File:DONALDfirewall.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump becomes god face appears in clouds.png|Hosanna in excelsis!
File:GOP idiots.jpg
File:Election Night 2016.jpg|How to get rid of a hack
File:MevlutTrumpVSHillary.jpg|A hero rises for the people
Image:Trump_is_Jesus.jpg|People will literally die for Trump.
Image:Shitty_antiTrump_Meme.jpg|The inability to make good memes is why the leftists lost in 2016.
Image:Dtrumpmolest.jpg|Pre-gaming for the Bohemian Grove.
File:TrumpExploitable.png|[[Oh Exploitable!|Exploitable]] Trump.
File:Hillarytrumpwwe.gif
Image:King_Trump.jpg|President Trump with his personal staff.
File:Donald+Trump+Ivanka+daddy+daughter.jpg
Image:Trump.gif
File:Donaldtrumpggretweet.jpg|That moment when Trump retweets to [[GamerGate]]!
File:Trump will protect us.jpg
File:Facebook says ok to threaten trump murder, march 2016.png
File:Jews try to bring down trump.png
file:Donald j trump - the final solution?.png
File:Ae_trump.jpg|Lulz lobbyist who had a productive meeting with Trump
File:MOVEOVERJESUS.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Trumphammer 40,000===
{{cg|Trumphammer 40,000|40k|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump-40k-sword.jpg
File:Trump-emperor-usa.jpg
File:Trump-emps.jpg
File:God emperor of Mankind.jpg
File:Trump-emps-if.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Anon's Trump vs Hillary Comic===
{{cg|Election Day Comic (creds to anon)|EDC|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC1.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC2.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC3.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC4.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC5.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC6.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC7.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC8.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC9.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC10.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC11.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC12.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC13.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC14.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC15.png
</gallery>}}

===MAGA Anime Girls===
{{cg|Hot Anime Babes|anim3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trumppillow.jpg|Weebs for Trump
File:TrumpAnimeBabe1.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe2.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe3.jpg
File:TrumpAnimeBabe4.jpg
File:MAGApantiessex.png
</gallery>}}

<center><big>For more images go to [[The Donald/images|The images section]]</big></center>

==In a nutshell==
 
 
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>ZbM6WbUw7Bs</youtube> <center>'''Big In Japan'''</center> 
|<youtube>gUlF1naMr3Y</youtube> <center>'''MAGAMIX'''</center> 
|<youtube>4tXv_PJPycA</youtube> <center>'''Notice me, Trump [[Senpai]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>1WUVP6l9Das</youtube> <center>'''Trump's Lovemaking Theme.'''</center> 
|<youtube>IyPkshnIiyc</youtube> <center>'''Going for [[Orgasm|multiples]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>Ej8YpsIo4_g</youtube> <center>'''Russian edition'''</center> 
|<youtube>kvB4rBI4MtA</youtube> <center>'''Trump supporter telling it like it is!'''</center> 
|<youtube>ZC7aYLBqevc</youtube> <center>'''Trumphammer 40k'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>BeNEq0TWGdk</youtube> <center>'''Trump haters in a nutshell'''</center> 
|<youtube>7DRL6ocEK-M</youtube> <center>'''Trump Foreign Policy'''</center> 
|<youtube>yZNtYmdZ-4c</youtube> <center>'''Never come down'''</center> 
|<youtube>l4wY3C88oC0</youtube> <center>'''The Trump Rap'''</center> }}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

==Things The Donald LOVES==
[[File:Melania_trump_im_with_her_graffiti_by_lushsux.jpg|thumb|right|First Lady of the United States. Also a [[Brony|Pegasister]]]]
[[File:The wicked wall comic panels.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Liberal Spider-cuck versus the Donald. Stay tuned!]]
*[[Jim Traficant]] He was the original Trump that opened the door
* '''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBAB]]'''
*[[Win|Winning]]
*[[Pussy]]
*Grabbing pussy
*[[Winner|You]]
*Your Mom
*His [[autist]]ic son [[Barron Trump]]
*Wounded soldiers
*China
*Wrong Wrong Wrong
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]]
*Success
*More success
*The opposite of immigrants
*Pepe
*Anime
*Memes
*[[Dindus]], he loves their fried chicken
*[[Mexico]], he loves the Mexican "culture"
*[[Trumpwave]]

== Products and companies President Trump asks you to boycott ==
[[File:Trump Tweets.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Just another day on President Trump's Twitter account.]]
* '''[[Islam|Döner Kebab]]'''
* Oreo cookies
* <s>Carrier Air Conditioners</s>
* Pfizer Pharmaceuticals
* Starbucks
* [[Apple]]
* Mexican Drugs
* Chinese Products(except His hats)
* Taco Bell's Tex-Mex menu
* Pinatas
* The Democratic Party
* Sombreros

==His supporters==
[[file:MelaniaTrump.png|thumb|500px|Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) in an old Max pictorial.[[Fap]] [[Fap]] [[Fap]]]]
* Basket of deplorables (I hear they're all in the [[KKK]], much like the KKK's first Grand Dragon, Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who spoke at the 1868 Democratic National Convention)
* David Ernest Duke, convicted felon and former Grand Wizard of the actual Ku Klux Klan.
* Reverend William Owens of the Coalition of African American Pastors
* Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke
* U.S. Department of Homeland Security Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
* [[Riley34470]]
* [[Pepe|Frog]] lovers
* [[Pol|/pol/]]
* [[The South]]
* Some generals or some shit
* Some union having to do with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, responsible for dealing with wetbacks
* <s>Kirstie Alley</s>
* Chachi/Charles in Charge
* [[Peter Thiel]], who The Advocate said could not be gay as a result
* That fag [[Milo]]
* The [[Alt-right]]
* Ted Nugent
* [[NotMySuperbowlChamps|Tom Brady]]
* Former Yankee Paul O'Neill
* Former college basketball coach Bob Knight
* Baseball player Johnny Damon
* Mike Ditka
* Pro golfer Natalie Gulbis
* [[Mike Tyson]]
* Dennis Rodman
* [[Hulk Hogan]]
* Dana White
* [[Kid Rock]]
* [[Angelina Jolie]]'s dad Jon Voight
* [[Duck Dynasty]] star Willie Robertson
* People who hate women
* Omarosa Manigault
* Teresa Giudice
* Azealia Banks
* [[Tila Tequila]]
* Loretta Lynn
* [[Gary Busey]]
* Stephen Baldwin
* Aaron Carter
* Marxist philosopher Slavoj Zizek
* Wayne Newton
* [[Jesse James]]
* [[Ann Coulter]]
* Mike Cernovich
* [[Stefan Molyneux]]
* [[Obama|Obama's]] brother [[Malik Obama]]
* [[Dilbert]] creator Scott Adams
* [[Paul Joseph Watson]]
* [[Sargon of Akkad]]
* [[Jesus Christ]]
* [[Satan|Mormon Jesus]]
* All sane individuals
* Kanye West
* Steven Crowder
* Gavin McInnes
* Jeffrey Lorde
* Fox News
* Breitbart.com
* Styxhexenhammer666
* Bill Belichik
* InfoWars
* Lack of Evidence
* Alternative Facts
* Kellyanne Conway
* Asra Nomani
* Jesse Ventura
* Hulk Hogan
* Israeli Zionists
* Conspiracy Theorists
* Nazis
* Richard Spencer
* White Supremacy
* James Comey
* Sean Hannity
* Bill O'Reilly
* Jesse Watters
* Bill Elliot
* Chase Elliot
* Nawaz Sharif
* Modi
* The Blacks
* [[You]] (Because you think he can [[Hentai|MAKE ANIME GREAT AGAIN]])

==President Trump's new best friends==
[[File:TrumpHorse.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Trio.]]
* <s>[[Steve Bannon|Bannon, Steve]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Nigel Farage|Farage, Nigel]]
* [[Alex Jones|Jones, Alex]]
* <s>[[Theresa May|May, Theresa]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Putin|Rasputin, Wladimir]]... if you're a snowflake

== See also ==
[[File:Jessica valenti bawwws over trump election.png|380px|thumb|right|[[Jessica Valenti|An airhead columnist]] who let her child live in feminist fantasy-land, and now has [[Shit that will never happen|some explaining to do.]] Such as why [[Irony|most women voted for Trump.]]]]

* [[Donald Drumpf|Trump article by shitlib faggots]]
* [[The Mueller Report]] - a TL;DR h8fic that disappointed libs around the world
* [[Uncle Dolan|''Dolan'' Trump]]
* [[Mike Pence]] - running mate and VP
* [[Barron Trump]] - youngest son who draws big-tittied cartoon girls and makes headlines for possibly being autistic
* [[Bernie Madoff]]
* [[Post Trump Stress Disorder]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Emperor]]
* [[Business]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Blaming China]]
* [[Correct the Record]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]] Obama's inaction killed him
* [[Thomas Matthew Crooks]]: Better Known as '''''Ree Tardy Oswald''''' for his Inept, Kindergarten attempt at assassinating [[The Donald]]
* [[Fired]]
* [[God]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[He Will Not Divide Us]] - HWNDUs gonna HWNDU
* [[Jim Traficant]] Before there was Trump there was Big Jim
* [[Jews]]
* [[Roseanne Barr]] The Donald is a fan
* [[Rosie]]
* [[The Man]]
* [[Ceiling Cat|The True God]]
* [[Trump Tower Climber]]
* [[Back to the Future]] - this is the alternative time line [[FUCK YEAH]]!
* [[Thomas Dimassimo]]
* [[AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck]]
* [[Candice the Cuckslayer]]
* [[Khizr Khan]], token Muslim who Hillary brought to the DNC, supported terrorists in the 80s, had piss-drinking sex parties in the 90s, passed the torch on to the one who didn't die, prevents wife from talking

== External links ==
* [https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/putative Putative (Adj) ]
* [http://blog.dilbert.com/post/126589300371/clown-genius Trump the Master Persuader Wizard]
* <s>[http://stumptrump2016.com/ Now you too can stump the trump]</s> lol
* {{youtube|xGZaCnfNgLE|The Donald VS. Rosie - Trump calls Rosie a failure.}}
* [http://www.etonline.com/tv/news/38140/index.html Entertainment Tonight covers Trump/Rosie drama] - lol
* [https://www.change.org/p/donald-trump-demand-a-nuclear-annihilation-of-the-ukraine-6ecbce68-adb6-47c8-aee1-7875e3eab135?recruiter=549171149&utm_source=petitions_show_components_action_panel_wrapper&utm_medium=copylink| Vote for Donald Trump to Make America Great Again]
* [http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Mountain-View-teacher-suspended-for-comparing-10610974.php The 'perfect storm'?] - [[Holohoax|Holocaust]] [[Jew|scholar]] teaches kids that [[Godwin's Law|Trump is like Hitler,]] school suspends him as a threat to their [[Safe Space|'safe space]]' (citing [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|traumatised chidren)]] and it sparks an [[Internet petition|internet petition.]]
* {{kym|memes/people/donald-trump Donald Trump}} - [[Know Your Meme]] is making cancer great again.

 

{{politics}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Trump}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 16 & 17, [[2015]]|[[Shamwow]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[RationalWiki]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 9, November 10 & November 11, [[2016]]|[[Dan Cilley]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Hillary Clinton]]}}
{{timeline|Featured Article July 3 & 4 , [[2019]]|[[Kothorix]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Peter Bright]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 30 and 31, [[2023]]|[[Chris-chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Donald Drumpf]]}}

[[Category:People|Trump, Donald]]
{{Corner|br|[[Image:Trumpcorner.png|70px]]}}

Mia Janin

2024-08-15T22:39:41Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}

{{an hero}}

{{Quote|<center>If you died would people care about you the next day?|Last known words of Mia Janin</center>}}

[[File:Mia Jenin Jewish Cute.jpg|thumb|right|220px|<center>She gets a 7.2 on our '''Jewish Cute Scale.''' We would have given her a higher score but we know that half of this pic is filters and makeup.</center>]]

'''Mia Janin'''{{jew}} who [[Suicide|Offed Herself]] on [[2021|March 12, 2021]] was your typical, angsty, [[Jew|Jewish]], Crybaby, [[16-year-old girl|14-year-old girl]] that wanted every girl's dream of being popular with the [[Boys]], and when she got what she [[Want]]ed - she refused to accept this new found attention or the old adage of [[Truth|Boys Will Be Boys]]

Her entire problem with the world, and her school [[life]] emerged when a few boys at her school thought it would be fun to start trading pictures of her on [[Snapchat]] because [[Vomit|she was so cute]]. Unable to accept this new found popularity of [[Woman|Hers]], and following in the spirit of her many complaining, angry ancestors consisting of [[Old]], Whiny, Jewish Women pissed off that they didn't get their 5% discount on a 50 cent cup of coffee - the first thing she did was rat out her many admiring boys to her [[School]]'s Head Rabbi because this new found popularity of hers was not going in ways she envisioned.

Hearing that Mia was enjoying her new found popularity, the [[Boy]]'s of the Snapchat group decided it was time to up their [[Love|Loving]] attention on her and took it up a notch.

Like so many celebrities finding out, after the fact, that fame isn't what they imagined, Mia Janin decided that is was better to swallow a bottle of pills and hang herself in her closet as a peaceful protest to what it means to be the popular girl.

== The Really Big, Big Problem ==

[[File:Mia Janin Flowers.jpg|thumb|right|220px|<center>We might have to rethink that 7.2</center>]]

[[File:Enjoy Clorox - soda-meme.jpg|right|220px]]

The [[Angst|World Shattering Problem]] that caused Mia Janin to up and hang herself with her favorite [[Money|Gucci]] belt, with the same speed and gusto as her opening up a last day of Hanukkah gift, where she knows that she's going to be getting [[Jew Gold]] as a present, is nothing new or original. Mia's [[Earth]] Shattering Problem with her life was that some of the Boys at her school, [[Education| The Jewish Free School in Kenton]], were giving her too much attention.

It started with some kicking [[Football]]s, (these are [[England|Limey]] Tea Drinking [[Fag]]s, so they were probably kicking a soccer ball,) at her in an elementary school love declaration where they hoped that if the football hits her, she would know that they really, really liked her.

Being fans of hers, they started a Snapchat group where they passed pictures of her back and forth. Some boys found that the pictures of her taken in the school and on the campus were not enough for them to be arroused by and decided that they could be improved by photo shopping her head on pictures of [[Porn]] Stars or making [[Artificial Intelligence|AI]] videos of her having [[Sex]] so that they could have some [[Masturbate|'Bating]] material of her. You know, normal boy stuff.

Being like all 14-year-old-girls and damaged, like so many women by the [[Politics|'''#'''MeToo]] movement, Mia Janin was offended by her new found attention of Boys trying to answer the age-old question of ''"I Wonder What She Looks Like Naked"''?

In a conduct predictable of her gene type and genetic lineage, the first thing Mia Janin{{jew}} decided that she should do was run and cry to her school's Head Rabbi{{jew}} and demand that [[Man|He]] [[Chris-Chan|Cut Down The Internet]] and put an end to this trading of pics of her because it ways [[Crybaby|Hurting Her Feelings]]. After being told that he has no power of what his students do off campus and after school, an emotionally damaged Mia decided that she would take her whine outside and made the [[Noob]] decision of taking to the [[Internets]] as a way to expose these [[Sarcasm|mean boys]].

In an almost prophetic manner, when the SnapChat group of boys heard about Mia trying to get them in trouble with the schools Head Rabbi or by whining on the [[Internets]] and to her friends - they decided to call her group of friends the [[Suicide Squad]].

Like so many Uber-Offended, thin skinned [[Generation Z|Gen Z]] kids, when her actions didn't achieve immediate results - she decided that the only thing left for her was to hang herself like a Dead Duck in the window of a [[China|Chinese]] Restaurant.

== We're Going To Sue: Quick! To the Jew Cave ==

[[File:MIA janin wearing Jewish sublimal message.jpg|thumb|right|200px|<center>Mia wearing some Subliminal, Jewish instructions</center>]]

[[File:Last seconds hanging.gif|thumb|right|200px|<center>How Mia's family and friends will always remember her</center>]]

Like so many [[Generation X|Gen Xers]] that can only think about themselves, [[Vidya]] or [[Drugs|Weed]] - Mia's parents only had a lip service relationship with her and didn't realy notice Mia or any of the clues that she was going to send herself to that great big nothing that [[Atheist]]s and Orthadox [[Jew]]s{{jew}} believe awaits us after we die. It was morning when they found Mia hanging in her closet and the two suicide letters she had written, one for her parents and the other for her friends, saying that she blamed her bullies and her school for driving her to suicide despite Mia's parents saying that she could drop out of her school and promised to get a tutor for homeschooling so she could apply to a new school in [[2022]].

To console their absent feelings of losing their [[kid]], Mia Janin's parents decided that the best way to honor her memory would be to sue everyone involved and they started by making a case against her school and how they ignored their daughter's plight and let the mean boys [[Win]] because Suicide wasn't her choice, she was driven to it.

What the Janin's whole argument of Mia being forced too kill herself centers on internet bullying because she was [[Troll|made fun of]] by students at The Jewish Free School{{jew}} in the comment sections of [[TikTok]] videos she posted. You know, basically what everyone in the entire world has to accept might happen to them if they post an [[Retard|unpopular]] or stupid video on the internet.

Ironically, Mia's [[Your Dad|Father]] Mariano, claimed that there was a [[Conspiracy Theory|Secret Meeting]] between the Schools Head [[Jew|Rabbi]] and the boys that [[Troll|Picked on her]] where the Rabbi told them that there was going to be an investigation and that they should purge their phones or computers of any and all evidence of their trolling of Mia.

Authorities in [[England]] have said that no evidence exists of the Boys trading pics and videos in their group chats. The only evidence that exists is the Tik Tok video, and the comments along with it, that was posted by Mia on [[2021|March 10, 2021]]

== Give Me Back My Daughter's Phones ==

[[File:Anime Girl Hanging Herself With Rope.gif|right|220px]]

Soon after losing his wife, Marisa, 4 months after Mia's death to what Mariano Janin{{jew}}, himself, expertly diagnosed as dying from a [[Heart|broken heart]] because of their daughter's recent [[Suicide]] while medical professionals ignorantly say her death was most likely from Leukemia, Mia's father demanded the return of Mia's phones and Sim cards. Finding himself with no daughter or wife to break up his time, between, when he got home from [[Work]] and went to bed, he suddenly found himself without things to do. Perhaps realizing that he was [[Dying alone| all alone]] and that he no longer had any friends because he had become a [[Emo|Serious Downer]] because of his constant [[Bitch]]ing and moaning, he was looking for someone that would lend an ear and listen to him.

As can be expected from the [[England|British]] without [[USA|The USA]] there to wipe their asses and noses for them, London's [[Police|Metropolitan Police]] had lost the items and it took some time for them to locate them in evidence storage so they could be returned.

Mia's father was incensed by the idea that normal police were investigating his daughter's death, insinuating that they were treating his daughter's suicide like she were a [[Islam|Muslim Terrorist]]. He suggested that the governments should create an [[Internet police]] force to protect children from reality and ensure that they won't be picked on when they are online so that they can go from a protected Childhood and be thrust into a world that they are not prepared for.

{{Quote|<center>I think they should create a new department for cyber crime or cyber security oriented to young people.|Marioana Janin</center>}}

== Gallery ==

<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="200px" widths="200px" class="center">

File:Mia Janin Dress.jpg

File:MIA janin wet hair.jpg

File:Mia janin outside.jpg

File:Mia Janin Doggy.jpg

File:Mia Janin twig y.jpg

</gallery>|border=black|background=white}}
</center>

== See Also ==

* [[16-year-old-girl|14-year-old-girl]]

* [[An hero]]

* [[Death]]

* [[Golden iPod]]

* [[Jew]]

* [[The Internet is serious business]]

* [[Suicide]]

* [[TikTok]]

* [[Why So Serious?]]

== External Links ==
* [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12996565/Jewish-school-denial-bullying-14-year-old-girl-took-life-boys-mocked-female-pupils-messages-photos-Snapchat-inquest-hears.html Daily Mail]
* [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/mia-janin-inquest-cyber-bullied-london-b2483849.html Yahoo News]
* [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLaKtkYq/ TicToc Video]
* [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLaKtKMX/ TicToc Video]
* [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLaEJsR6/ TicToc Video]

{{Jewseries}}
{{race}}
{{Whores}}
{{anheroes}}
{{Dying_Alone}}

Nick Fuentes

2024-08-15T22:39:25Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{Pedo}}
{{Lolcow2}}
{{Spics}}

{{ib|[[File:NickFuentesAVI.jpg|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Nick Fuentes'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born:'''|August 18th, 1998}}
{{Ibrow|'''Real Name:'''|Nicholas Joseph Fuentes}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[American]]  [[File:MiniflagMexico.jpg | 22px]]}}
{{Ibend}}

'''Nicholas "Nick the spic" Joseph Fuentes''' is an <s>Mexican-descended</s> "[[Nigger|Afro]]-[[Cuba|Latinx]]" [[homosexual]] "[[Christianity|Christian]]" activist who is best known for being the host of the '''America First''' podcast. He is also known for using the fans of his show, who are either known as '''[[Pepe|Groypers]]''' or '''[[Niggers|Nickers]]''', as his own [[personal army]], who usually [[IRL]] [[raid|brigade]] anybody they disagree with (or more specifically, anyone Nick disagrees with).

He has often been the subject of controversy among internet right-wing circles due to him constantly (ironically) hinting at the idea of being a homosexual, such as (ironically) liking [[femboy]] [[nudes|thigh pics]] on Twitter, (ironically) going on a date with someone who is known to date trannies, and (ironically) having a catboy chat in his now-deleted discord server (did we mention it was ironic?)
__TOC__
{{clear}}
== Background ==
[[File:Nicky-kun eats a booger.png|thumb|right|250px|The [[Le 56% Face|face]] of [[white supremacy|"white" supremacy]].]]
Born to a half-[[Mexico|Mexican]] father (who most likely [[rape|diddled]] him as a child), Nick began his political career on [[Twitter]] by trying to befriend every right wing bodybuilder for [[Lies|totally non-sexual reasons]], making totally ironic catboy jokes in group chats and totally absolutely ironically confessing to some of those said bodybuilders that [[Truth|he's gay]]. The next stage of his political career was attending the [[Richard Spencer]] wet dream that was the [[James Alex Fields|2017 Charlottesville rally]], after which he was fired from his job and doxxed. Due to this, he dropped out of college and [[manchild|moved back in with his parents and sister]], which is where he lives to this day (An address he constantly denies to live at, despite him claiming he gets "death threats" in the mailbox).

[[File:ITS IRONIC MOM PLEASE.png|thumb|You see, mom, I like having [[buttsecks|sex with men]] ''ironically'', {{Archive|zdwxQ|so that makes it OK}}.]]His political "career" mostly consists of self-hosted livestreams of him talking about his wet fantasies with [[Zippocat|catboys]] and other such forms of [[pedophilia|shotacon]]-inspired fetishes. (Don't worry guys, it's tooootally [[denial|ironic]]!) He was also notable for constantly going on Twitter and liking [[trannies]]' thigh pics. (Ok, maybe half-ironic.) He also constantly gets into beef with lefty YouTubers, such as William "ContraPoints" Parrott and [[Vaush]], as he seems to think that'll somehow make him more popular on the internet. ''Look mom, I'm winning arguments with trannies online!!''

{{quote|"If you get [[schizophrenia|redpilled]], don't tell [[your mom]]. If you get redpilled, ''don't tell [[whore|your mom]]''. If you get redpilled, ''don't tell [[failure|your parents]]'', alright? [...] DON'T TELL MOM AND DAD! [...] If you get redpilled, play it close to the chest, don't tell anybody, keep it to yourself, keep it to you and [[NEET|your online friends]], ''alright?''"|Nick, being an (ironic) [[pedophile|groomer]].}}

In 2018, after a reading out a [[Camwhore|superchat donation]] which included a [[Holocaust]] related joke (which makes for, quite possibly, the only time he's been remotely edgy), he was bombarded with tons of [[Jewish]] media talking about what an evil [[alt-right]] [[racist]] [[sexist]] [[Nazi]] this mixed-race faggot was. After getting his [[YouTube]] channel suspended in early 2020, he moved to other platforms, including bitwave and Telegram.
{{clear}}

===Dox===

<pre>
929 Newberry Ave
La Grange Park, IL 60526
</pre>

==The Groyper Wars==

During October of 2019, Fuentes tried (and failed) to organize his rallies of [[autism|autists]] into what he called "the groyper wars", which just consisted of getting his followers to shit up comment sections on videos about ((([[Neo-con|Charlie Kirk]]))) and ((([[Ben Shapiro]]))). Activism, amirite? He also got Ben to read out that one [[Holocaust|innocent cookie-related question]] as a [[Unoriginal|very original and funny joke]].

<center><youtube>Px3Oq1i2lHg</youtube></center>

==Nick's Catboy Fetish==

In late 2020, Nicky went on a livestreamed date with Tor "[[CatboyKami]]" Brookes, an Australian crossdresser whose sense of humor consists of screeching shit about [[niggers]] on livestreams. Of course, this was tooootally ironic guys, so PLEASE don't get any [[rule 34|weird ideas]].

[[File:Nick Fuentes Loves Cat Boys 2.jpg|thumb|right|350px|Nyan XD!!]]

<center><youtube>Ggboca2rkrM</youtube></center>

This ironic [[buttsecks|meetup]] seemed to draw a lot of controversy within the alt-right, as many people seemed to use it as proof of Nick's and Tor's homosexuality, but daddy Fuentes "debunked" that on an ''America First'' episode where he (unrelatedly) is blushing and stuttering the whole time.

<center><youtube>HWKszeS9nsE</youtube></center>

==Nick Gets on an FBI Watchlist==
[[File:Zoomerfag edits.mp4|thumb|right|350px|[[Unfunny|Imagine making these]].]]
When 2021 came around, he decided it would be a good idea to go to the Capitol riots (which, surprise surprise, mostly just consisted of [[boomers]] standing around doing nothing while wearing [[QAnon]] merch). He was suspended from [[Twitter]] and [[Instagram]] shortly after (which he claimed was due to the [[ADL]] pestering le [[admins]] to delete him for le racisms). He has since tried to sidestep these bans via creating the accounts "@raper6000" and "@bossbabyincel", respectively. Later on, he defended Matt "[[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]]" Gaetz, a [[Republican Party|Republican]] politician [[Glenn Beck#The 1990 rape accusations|accused of raping a 17-year-old girl]], and claimed that it would've all been OK had he just married her beforehand.

After being banned from CPAC (an annual zionist convention held in [[Texas]]), he decided to host his own event across the street from it, where he invited hoards of [[shota|underaged male teenagers]] to watch shitty [[Forced Meme|zoomer bloomer doomer coomer troomer based tradcath tradwife groyper femboy]] edits. One of the attendees was Alejandro "LatinoZoomer" Velasquez Gomez, a self-identified [[spic]] (and not-so-self-identified [[simp]] for [[Camwhore|e-girls]]) who tried getting people from his [[discord]] server to look for birth records near his date of birth because he was convinced that his parents had kidnapped him as a baby (not a joke). Nick also tried to ruin the life of Movement CEO [[Patrick Casey]] for saying that it was a bad idea to go to another [[James Alex Fields|retard rally]] that will likely be crawling full of [[KKK|federal informants]]. [[Patrick Casey]] has since remained a respectable [[Autism|Political Commentator]] while Nick Fuentes has become irrelevant and lost all good will due to simping for [[CatboyKami|known]] [[Donald Trump|pedophiles]] and associating with [[Wigger]] retards like [[Ethan Ralph]] and [[The Weekly Sweat]].
{{clear}}

==Nick Admits Being a Bitter Incel==
In late 2021, Nick admits having no romantic relationship with women in an interview with Sydney Watson. Furthermore, Nick says women should have rights as much as Afghanis Women's rights and wants a Taliban-style movement to exist in America.

<center><youtube>2GHrieBZNg8</youtube></center>

A few days after the interview, Nick proceeds to host several spaces on Twitter only to get banned again. Different from his usual ban, All of Nick's Gay followers aka Groypers also got banned even the ones who never or rarely interact with him. This led to Groypers' mass exodus to Gab.

==FELTED!==
After 2021 passed away and 2022 came, Nick has been hit by several dramas and hit pieces. The first one is by Louis Theroux. Louis Theroux came to shoot a documentary with Nick and his sycophants to expose the retardation of AF. The documentary has become a disaster for Nick but it's just the tip of the iceberg.

Nick has become friends with [[Ethan Ralph]] and gives him a platform to stream. Ethan has recently DMCA'd several for making fun of him. This has led many streamers to complain about his behavior. Rather than condemning Ethan, Nick decided to defend his gross action as based. [[Mister Metokur|Metokur]], who is dying of cancer, calls out Nick's behavior. Nick doesn't accept what Metokur says and challenges him to a debate. However, Metokur is able to humiliate Nick in the debate.

<center><youtube>S1umh-Pkmxc</youtube></center>

After being BTFO'd by Metokur, Nick came into disbelief and coped by pretending he actually won the debate [[Donald Drumpf|just like his master]]. Later, Jaden, his BF, just got a girlfriend and started distancing him. Nick is suddenly enraged with the fact that Jaden lost his virginity and starts hunting his cum with blacklights. Jaden soon retire from AF and live a happy life with his gf than being stuck in the Incel Catboy Death Cult. Jaden soon exposes this fact in Kino Casino along with another ex-AF who escaped the cult, Simon.

<center><youtube>zatnYuJmXT4</youtube></center>

== See Also ==
* [[Alt-right]]
* [[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
* [[Neo-con]]
* [[QAnon]]
* [[CatboyKami]] - the faggots boyfriend
* [[Mexico]]
* [[Le 56% Face]]

== External links ==
* [https://nicholasjfuentes.com Official website]
:*[https://cozy.tv/ Official cozy.tv website]
* <s>{{twitter|NickJFuentes|Nick's Twitter account}}</s> <s>'''BALEETED!!!'''</s> <s>'''Oh wait! Elon just gives your account back. WELCOME BACK, NICK!'''</s> '''JUST KIDDING LOLOLOLOLOLOL''' ({{wayback|https://twitter.com/NickJFuentes|20210708182935|title=1}} {{archive|cfQkU|2}})
:*<s>{{twitter|raper6000|Tooootally random guy who is NOT Nick}}</s> '''BALEETED AGAIN!!!''' ({{archive|https://twitter.com/raper6000/*|archive}})
:*<s>{{twitter|cheeser3000|Another totally random guy who's DEFINITELY NOT Nick}}</s> '''COME ON, NICK, THIS ISN'T EVEN ON TWITTER ANYMORE THIS IS ON YOU'''
:*<s>{{twitter|BranFlakes5000|This is getting stupid}}</s> '''BALEETED ALONG WITH HIS GAY FOLLOWERS!!!'''
:*<s>{{twitter|iloveindia1000|Wow, a new account! I bet Twitter won't ever banned Nick ag-}}</s> '''JUST KIDDING!!! BALEETED MINUTES AFTER CREATION LOLOLOLOLOL'''
:*<s>{{twitter|exiledinternet|*sigh*}}</s> '''If you were banned from 109 platforms, does it truly their fault, Nick?'''
:*<s>{{twitter|heyeveryone08|Oh look, Elon just bought Twitter. Surely Nick won't be banned this time}}</s> '''LOL NOPE'''
:*<s>{{twitter|MrKrabs9000|Yo Nick, what's that tranny porn tab on your browser?}}</s> '''BALEETED BY HIMSELF LOL''' ({{archive|8gv5O|archive}})
:*<s>{{twitter|punishedhooplah|Just admit it that the previous account is actually you, Nick}}</s> '''This is getting boring'''
:*<s>{{kf|120200|Whatever, go check this KiwiFarms thread for Nick's future twitter update instead}}</s> '''SUBFORUM SHUT DOWN DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST!!!!!'''
:*<s>{{twitter|autumngroyper|So far the longest surviving Nick's alt account for now}}</s> '''BALEETED AS WELL!!!!!!!'''
:

*<s>{{instagram|nicholasjfuentes|Nick's Instagram}}</s> '''BALEETED!!!'''
:* <s>{{instagram|bossbabyincel|Again, totally random guy who is NOT Nick}}</s> '''ALSO BALEETED!!!'''
:* <s>{{instagram|bossbabyincel2|Does Nick not get tired of making alts?}}</s> '''BALEETED TOO!!!'''
:* <S>{{instagram|bossbabyincel4|How many times are you gonna make alts, Nick?}}</s> '''BALEETED!!!'''
:* {{instagram|contentcreator008|Long time no see on Instagram, Nick}}
*<s>{{yt|c|UCsJ86N5n7fcEC_Ds8dYJKzA|America First with Nicholas J Fuentes}}</s> '''BALEETED!!!'''
*{{kf|64977|KiwiFarms thread}}
* {{Telegram|nickjfuentes|Nick's Telegram}}
* {{Gab|realnickjfuentes|Nick's Gab}}

{{Dying Alone}}
{{faggotry}}
{{trump}}
{{YouTube Ranters}}
{{Gayrepublicans}}

[[Category:People]]

{{Timeline|Featured article August 23 and 24, [[2022]]|[[SWATting]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Kiwi Farms]]}}

Gay hanky code

2024-08-15T22:39:04Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{quote|A colorblind gay guy must have some confusing nights.|Anonymous}}

[[Image:BowCock.jpg|thumb|150px|Why bother with piercings when there are [[anus|so]] [[mouth|many]] [[Goatse|holes]] available?]]

Ever wondered why a rainbow is the [[gay]] symbol? Is it because it shows that [[God]] still [[God hates fags|loves them]]? Is it a reflection of their colorful characters? Or is it because the rainbow is the universal signal of [[Obama|hope]]?

'''No.''' In actuality the rainbow is a reflection of the wide variety of colours used to prove just how [[perverted]] these [[Blow job|cum-sucking]], [[Rim job|shit-licking]] ass-rammers really are. Enter the '''gay hanky code'''.

== A Magical Guide to Hankies ==
<Center>{{bigpic|Gay hanky code.PNG|600|300|An extensive and oddly specific guide made by [[wikipedos]].}}</center>

=== The Left-Right Distinction ===
If the hanky is worn on the '''left''', the wearer wants '''to give it'''. In other words, he is a brutal, sadistic [[rapist]] who will merrily tear your ass open while [[you]] scream and [[cry]] for [[more|mercy]]. (See ''[[Sick Fuck]]''.)

If the hanky is worn on the '''right''', the wearer wants '''to take it'''. In other words, he is a masochistic [[pussy]] who gets his [[rocks]] off by being [[ravished]] violently and subsequently developing a [[victim complex]]. (See ''[[Attention Whore]] or [[Wimmins]]''.)

=== Non-Colors ===

Not all of the code relies on handkerchiefs.

* '''Fur''' - Into [[Beastiality|fucking]]/[[Beastiality|being fucked by]] [[animals]]. [[Ironic]] that the [[animals]] they "love" so much need to die to facillitate their horrifying [[fetishes]].
* '''Kewpie Doll''' - Is/seeks a [[pedophile]].
* '''Union Jack''' - Is/seeks a [[skinhead]]; has no use for the "race" hankies.
* '''Ziploc Bag''' - Has/wants [[drugs]].

[[Image:Kewpie.jpg|thumb|200px| Most boys who go home with a guy carrying a Kewpie doll on the <s>right</s> left end up looking like this.]]

=== Race ===

Still [[Great Black Dick Hoax|stupid enough to believe that blacks have huge cocks]]? Well, for all the [[racist]] faggots out there, there is a guide that will help you choose which color you would like to [[In the ass|ass]][[fuck]]/get assfucked by tonight:

* '''Black & White Stripes'''' - Likes the [[darkies]]
* '''White Lace''' - [[NO NIGGERS|For those who hate big black dick]]
* '''Yellow & White Stripes''' - Likes [[Asians]]

=== [[Rape]] ===

{{squote|He was asking for it, Your Honor! He was wearing a blue handkerchief!| [[Bubba]]}}

A little-known fact about hankies is that they can make [[rape]] [[I did it for the lulz|perfectly legal]].

Since there are so many legitimate reasons to rape, the blue hanky is rarely needed. However, if the little queeny twat is being difficult, make sure to [[fuck]] him senseless and plant a blue hanky on him afterwards.

==="Do not fuck"===

Silver is the color of hanky worn by celebrities and rock-stars. Except, if they were a celebrity or rock star you cared about (or even if you didn't care about them) would they really need a hanky to point this out? Any [[USI|wannabe star]] flaunting a silver hanky deserves people to point at them and laugh behind their back.

== A Hoax? ==

There has been much debate around whether the so-called "Hanky Code" was in fact, [[real]].

[[Nobody|Who]] cares?

It's not as though whether something is [[true]] or not has ever stopped an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] [[article]] before.

== [[Christian]] Hanky Code ==

[[Image:Bushrainbow.jpg|thumb|300px| Sometimes [[doing it wrong]] is the same as doing it right. Even if it is [[George Bush]].]]

[http://web.archive.org/web/20090108034950/http://www.postfun.com/pfp/features/97/august/hankies.html Is this a joke?] Do we dare to think this might actually be true? If it isn't, it might as well be, as most Christians are in-the-closet [[cockmongler]]s anyway.

== Video ==

<center><youtube>C5p5tyyM0oE</youtube></center>

== Other Gay Symbols ==

Now that the essential distinction between masculine, dominant [[heterosexual]] [[man]] and feminine, submissive [[heterosexual]] [[woman]] has begun to fade thanks to [[Leftard]] [[Feminists|Womens' Studies]] majors, we need a whole new set of symbols to properly describe a person's gender, sex and sexual preferences:
<center><gallery>
Image:Fag1.gif|[[Fag]]
Image:Dyke1.gif|[[Dyke]]
Image:FemNazi1.gif|[[Feminazi]] - no room for [[cock]] in here
Image:Bi1.gif|[[Male]] [[bisexual]]
Image:Bi2.gif|[[Female]] bisexual
Image:Trans1.gif|[[Transexual]]
Image:Trans2.gif|[[Hermaphrodite]]; why change when you can have both?
Image:BiWhat.gif|Erm[[...]] bisexual hermaphrodite?
Image:Love symbol 2.jpg|[[Prince]]
</gallery></center>

=== The Rainbow ===

Now that you know the true origins of the [[Gay]] Rainbow, let's clear up a few lingering myths:

[[Image:Rainbow_USA.gif|thumb|200px|WHITE = [[cum]].]]

'''[[Myth|The Myth]]:'''

# '''RED''' = [[Life]]
# '''ORANGE''' = Healing
# '''YELLOW''' = Sun
# '''GREEN''' = Nature
# '''BLUE''' = [[Art]]
# '''INDIGO''' = Harmony
# '''VIOLET''' = Spirit

'''[[Truth|The Truth]]:'''

# '''RED''' = [[Fisting|Fister]]/[[Fisting|Fistee]]
# '''ORANGE''' = Filthy [[slut]] (anything goes)
# '''YELLOW''' = [[Piss]]er/[[Piss]]ee
# '''GREEN''' = [[Prostitute]]/[[Elliot Spitzer|John]]
# '''BLUE''' = Wants/Gives [[blowjobs]]
# '''INDIGO''' = Gives/Takes it [[in the ass]]
# '''VIOLET''' = [[Piercing|Piercer]]/[[Piercing|Piercee]]

=== Pink Triangle ===

The '''pink triangle''' is a hilariously [[ironic]] symbol of the [[gay]] movement. [http://www.aaronsgayinfo.com/Fsymbols.html According to Aaron (who is apparently qualified to provide "Gay Info")], "the pink triangle, or ''Rosawinkel'' in [[German]], was sewn onto the clothes of homosexuals sent to [[concentration camps]]" -- then later became a symbol of gay solidarity. [[Seriously]]. To add insult to injury, homosexuals in German concentration camps were notorious child molesters and pedo pimps who were rightfully put back into prison by Allied and Soviet powers when the camps were liberated.

[[Image:Pink_triangle.jpg|thumb|200px|Unlike the [[cocks]] of most gay men, this one is in the middle of a [[cunt|big black box]]. No sharp Edges, Even [[moar]] gay.]]

=== Victory Over [[AIDS]] ===
[[Image:RainbowAIDS.gif|thumb|left|200px|Moar than a touch of [[irony]].]]

This symbol is a prime example of [[FAIL]] for one important reason:

<center><big>Gays have '''not''' triumphed over '''AIDS'''.</big></center>

It only wins in that [[black]] is pushed to the bottom -- just like it should be.

== See Also ==

* [[Faggotry]]
* [[Homosexual Epithets]]
* [[Signaling]]

{{lezz}}
{{sex}}

[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:Epithets]]

Homosexuality

2024-08-15T22:38:49Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{spoiler|THE US GOVERNMENT PASSES A LAW FORCING GAY MARRIAGE NATIONWIDE(6/26/2015)!!!!!!!!}}
{{spoiler|FAGS CAN DONATE HIV INFECTED BLOOD AGAIN! FUCK YOU ARTHUR ASHE!}}
{{Offended}}

{{center|
{{morphquote|bitchquotes|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge / That'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or lez, or a homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest.
Pants or dress, hate fags? The answer's yes. Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic, staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulgin'. That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em! They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of 'em!
|[[Slim Shady]], "Criminal," 2000

|What's the difference between a faggot and a refrigerator? Refrigerators don't fart when you put the meat in!
|Unknown

|I think it is wrong. I don't pretend to understand it, but it is not just another normal optional lifestyle.
|[[Al Gore]], 1981

|Let's talk about all these fucking shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can't watch this shit. Dating shows that's showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let's talk about shit like that! If that's not fucking up America, I don't know what is.
|Ja Rule, 2007

|They take it up the ass. This is only for taking a [[shit]].
|[[Mel Gibson]], 1991

|It seems like, to me, a [[vagina]]—as a man—would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me. I'm just thinking: There's more there! She's got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I'm saying?
|Phil Robertson, 2013

|I’ve seen the evil homosexuality come out of you people; AIDS is the result of your sins. Now don’t get me wrong; God loves you. But not the way you are now.
|Donna Summer, 1983

|How many letters have I read on the air from gay men who acknowledge that a huge portion of the male homosexual populace is [[pedophilia|predatory on young boys]].
|Laura Schlesinger, 1999

|I guarantee it would solve the problem post-haste if homosexuals were stoned.
|Bob Jones III, 1980

|As far as I’m concerned, granting a parade permit to a group of homosexuals to parade down Hollywood Boulevard would be the same as giving a permit to march to a group of thieves and murderers.
|[[Police|LAPD]] Chief Ed Davis, 1970

|In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality.
|Rick Santorum, 2003

|Some gays are actually having children. It's [[True|not right]] on paper. It's not right in fact.
|[[Mitt Romney]]

|Gays need to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying.
|Tracy Morgan, 2011
}}
}}

[[Image:Homosexuality parade pack.jpg|thumb|Homosexuals have parades to show the world how normal they are. Don't tell me you aren't lusting after that sexy golden motherfucker.]]
[[Image:gay_pride_angel.jpg|thumb|Figure A: The Homosexual Archetype: Handsome, [[Unwarranted Self Importance|confident]], and willing to [[Buttsecks|take it from behind]].]]
[[Image:Jeremy kyle tearful tranny tantrum.png|thumb|Figure B: The truth]]
[[Image:Patrick the Fairy Princess.jpg|thumb|A CHALLENGER APPEARS!!]]
[[Image:A faggot.jpg|thumb|A faggot assumed.]]

'''Homosexuality''' or [[pedophilia|Homophilia]], is a progressive [[fucktard|mental illness]] commonly seen among [[Furfag|furries]], in which the sufferer is overcome by sexual feelings for others of the same [[sex]]. This neurological disorder is most commonly caused when the afflicted subject has such [[Steven Slater|deep resentment for a dominating parent of the opposite sex]] that all members of that sex become repulsive by association. Often as the sufferer comes of age, the level of [[Fashion|faggotry]] begins to slope up in the form of a quadratic function {f(faggot)=ax2+bx+c}, rather than the typical linear model predicted by [[Elton John|researchers and other faggots of the like]].

In some rarer cases, the cause is a generalized reaction against normalcy, triggered by a negative response to the thought of healthy adult relations. This reaction often relates to a pagan desire to act against the will of God, whom homosexuals dedicate their lives to infuriating. And it's also a choice, too. Like with any choice, there are always retards who are too lazy to decide, which explains bisexuals. Though some say bi is just halfway out of the closet.

Other common causes of homosexuality include the faggot having been sexually molested as a child by an adult of either the same or opposite sex, or heavy drug use by the faggot's mother that occurred during pregnancy causing a hormonal imbalance. This hormonal imbalance can also occur after a child's birth if their parents let them play unsupervised in vats of harmful chemicals.

Homosexuals are misogynistic vaginaphobic [[bigot]]s. Homos have a deathly fear of snatch, which is why they cover themselves with a protective layer of bodyglitter and/or gold body paint. Faggots think [[cunt|"lady bits"]]s are "icky", and yet all females adore faggots. Homos love assholes and hate cunts. When informed that [[women]] also have assholes, faggots are unimpressed, that's how deep their pussy prejudice goes. When a fag says he wants to destroy pussy, it's not like a dudebro, he wants to actually [[kill it with fire]].

Homosexuality is positively correlated with the mental disorder [[pedophilia]], and all fags are prone to molesting [[children]]. Their purported attraction to members of the same sex is a misguided exercise in the search for an alternative to normal sexual relationships. The subjects are also [[Perez Hilton|inherently self-hating]] and [[smugfag|intellectually dishonest]] in their quest to achieve an ostensible popular acceptance. The homosexual who does not seek treatment is aware of his/her illness and must be in a state of constant denial, often convincing others of their sanity with [[lies|smoke and mirror tactics]].

<center>{{frame|<youtube>eAEiI_x71Ko</youtube>
<center>'''How people react when they see' em on the streets.'''}}</center>

== Fear of Homosexuals ==

[[Image:Homosexuallove.jpg|thumb|The most important civil rights issue of our time]]
[[Image:Homosexual dating service.jpg|thumb|Some matchmaking services appeal to the "'''bi-curious'''" demographic. That's a gay codeword for "'''fag in denial'''".]]

Most [[heterosexual]] men and women have always found it difficult to understand the concept of homosexuality between two men because the vagina and boobies are so fucking full of win and smelly hairy assholes so full of fail. Some of them hate it, while others wriggle their toes when a gay man or woman stand next to them, which is an evolutionary trait to prevent Infidels who defy Our Lord from being accepted in society.

Homophobia is an especially big issue for most men. {{wayback|http://www.lovepanky.com/men/guy-talk/men-and-the-fear-of-homosexuality|20100619120134|title=Men and their Fear of Homosexuality}} has always been a big reason as to why several homosexual people across the world are abused and scorned. It is also seen that a lot of men feel {{wayback|http://www.lovepanky.com/men/guy-talk/why-do-most-men-feel-uncomfortable-around-gay-men|20100619155428|title=uncomfortable around gay men}} and hate the fact that they can't understand the mind of a homosexual. But this tendency to scorn homosexuals by men is prominent only amongst males towards male homosexuals. It is [[some argue|an accepted fact]] that men [[fap|hate]] male homosexuals but accept female homosexuals, even to the extent of {{wayback|http://www.lovepanky.com/men/guy-talk/guys-drooling-over-girls-kissing|20100721205156|title=fantasizing about two girls kissing}}; this is because girls are hot so two girls is hotx2, while guys are gross and hairy and have nasty farts. Though men and women have started to accept homosexuality, it is still a process that seems to be taking time.

== Medical Classification ==
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>MmqNiFJyI28</youtube>
<center>'''An informative PSA that is still very relevant today.'''}}</center>
 
[[Image:HAHAHA-resized.gif|thumb|How fags react upon seeing the [[Penis#Clinical_Micropenis|size of your cock.]]]]
[[Image:Tiredgay.png|thumb|That was the longest 200m of Gay's life]]

In {{waybackvid|dsm-1|DSM-I}}, Homosexuality is classified among [[fetish|sexual sociopathic personality disorders]], while [https://www.madinamerica.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DSM-II.pdf DSM-II][https://aditpsiquiatriaypsicologia.es/images/CLASIFICACION%20DE%20ENFERMEDADES/DSM-III.pdf through] [https://img3.reoveme.com/m/2ab8dabd068b16a5.pdf DSM-IV] are invalid because they were [https://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Sodomy/homosexuality_and_psychiatry.htm edited by deviant homosexuals with forged APA credentials].

Faggotry in males is invariably caused when a male child or youth is used as a human cock-holster unwillingly through coercion or force, which permanently modifies their hormonal production levels, profoundly reducing testosterone production and afflicting them with a perpetual gait reminiscent of someone who just got fucked senseless, in a coping mechanism used to draw attention to the fact that though their ravaged anus has mostly healed with time, their shattered soul has not. In the case that their mouth was the semen receptacle of choice, then they adopt the use of an effeminate tone and lisp for similar reasons.

Homosexuality is [[not to be confused with X|not to be confused]] with "[[Lesbian]]ism", as same-sex attraction among women is perfectly normal, attention-seeking behavior. Moreover, it doesn't involve [[buttsecks|anal penetration]], and there's at least 2 pairs of [[breasts]]. Clearly this behavior is non-progressive and ends once the observer runs out of tape, it is thought to be brought on by temporary vaginisitis.

Ongoing research indicates that some men may choose to become homosexual in the womb, and that fetal '''{{archive|F3kcO|Faggot Gene}}''' screenings combined with [[abortion|prenatal homicide]] will drastically lower the number of unwanted babies brought into the world, thus fixing fucking everything.

Medical science has proven it's only gay if the balls are touching or if the eyes of either anal comrade are open while internally probing.

The problem with homosexuals (for them anyway) is that they will never reproduce, so there should be no worries that homosexuality will spread beyond those already gay, unless they are converted. This works in the same way that becoming a zombie goes. Zombies cannot have zombie children (yet), thus the only way to become a zombie is by means of a [[rape|very violent attack and assimilation]].

As a side note to all medical professionals, the gays are ''not'' people. They do not have rights and only act like they have feelings as defense mechanism.

== History and Terminology ==

''See: [[Homosexual Epithets]]''

[[Image:Throat-pussy.jpg|thumb|What they want you to think]]
[[Image:Fagbug.jpg|thumb|A bug for [[bug chasers|chasing bugs]]]]

Homosexuality was devised by [[Hitler]] as the Economical [[Final Solution|Solution]] to the Jewish Question, comprehensively limiting Zionist reproductive abilities at minimal expense. The plan [[fail]]ed horribly when the disease struck the general population, even Hitler's own son (Conrad Ankers) shaming Hitler into committing suicide as the [[KKK|Nazi Party]] adopted [[Holocaust|Plan B]].

With the advent of Homosexuality, [[Over 9000|thousands]] of years of [[Butthurt|peace]] and [[Fail|prosperity]] came to an abrupt end, and the disease continues to spread at an alarming rate.

The word '''[[Faggot]]''' is derogatory and slanderous, unless applied to sick homosexuals. As [[Thoseskinnygirls|Ann Coulter]] sagely noted, however, the word's lost its meaning as faggots have too much acceptance, so the word has become no more than a [[Internet tough guy|generic schoolyard insult]]. The commonly accepted definition of gay is "GAY IS NO CAN PENIS TO PUSSY!!1!".

The word Gay is an acronym for "Got '''[[AIDS]]''' Yet?".

Other terms of note:

*[[Bug Chasers]]: I want AIDS!
*[[GRIDS|Red/Biohazard]]: I have AIDS!
*[[Piss|Tea Room]]: I drink piss!
*[[No Homo|Giver]]: No entry in rear!
*[[Goatse|Receiver]]: Free parking in rear!

== Social Behavior ==

[[Image:No to fags.png|thumb|250px|For a better world]]
[[Image:Sausage_packing.jpg|thumb|How gay couples [[Buttsecks|make love]]]]
[[Image:Eww2.gif|thumb|How gay couples really [[Fisting|make love]]]]

Homosexuals have been proven to inherit the worst possible personality traits of both sexes. This results in the [[Perez Hilton]] phenomenon.

Although they claim to be a persecuted species, [[hypocrite|homosexuals are markedly racist, ageist, and class oriented]]. They are typically adverse towards [[nigger]] cock and tiny [[Azn]] wang. [[Fat|Fatasses]] need not apply under any circumstances. Srsly [[GTFO]]. Additionally, homosexuals consider anyone over 23 an [[lemonparty|old fart]] that should be in a retirement home or en route to becoming [[an hero]].

When they are not busy swallowing copious amounts of dirty [[mexican|beaner]] [[cum|splooge]] at the local [[porn|pr0n store]] or [[Craigslist|trolling for HIV elsewhere on the interwebs]], they may happen to humor each other on "dates." The four questions that are typically asked first (in descending order of importance) are: "How much do you make?" "What kind of car do you drive?" "How big is your cock" and finally, "How are you doing?"

Because homosexuality is a mental illness, it also produces delusional behavior. One side effect is some fags have faith in God although he [[pwnd|ROFLstomped]] their haven in the [[fanfiction|Bible]] for lulz and wishes they were all dead. Another side effect is the delusion that [[lies| that deep down, all males are somewhat gay]]. Any form of interaction with them will be considered a come-on. It is particularly dangerous to discuss sex with them, as their sexually overactive, damaged brains are aggro'd whenever the topic is brought up. As such, it is advised you take caution when relating to a homosexual classmate or coworker your sexual exploits with women, as this will no doubt be misconstrued as an invitation to come suck your [[cock|great big white]] under the bathroom stall during lunch break.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>9j-F7_qFDbU</youtube>
<center>'''Typical gay scene from [[Brokeback Mountain]]'''}}</center>

== Homoterrorism ==

Homosexuals are a group of cunning linguistic terrorists who succeeded in exploding the definition of [[marriage]] during the early 21st century.

[[I came|This came]] following a decade of flamboyant street rioting and propaganda [[semen|dissemination]] in the 90s and early 00s, following a decade of blood warfare and gay cancer in the 80s triggered by sleeper cell bisexual flight attendants. When airlines allowed poofters to be sky waitresses, this opened the closet for militant homosexual activists to engage in bio-warfare across the planet. Luckily for homogay stewardesses, airport security doesn't screen for HIV. Armed only with their cocks, suicide bumfuckers and living bioweapons made hard efforts to spread GAYS into the general population, and their tainted blood is the world's most successful example of biological warfare. Inspired by tales of ancient Greek faggots who wanted to enter Troy, GAYS Patient Zero acted as a Trojan Horse without the Trojan, spreading GAYS in every country he gave out peanuts in.

These fabulous bioterrorists were also [[AIDS|aided]] in their quest to blow up marriage by [[redundant|rich gay Hollywood media Jewry]] and given a television platform to promote their [[sick fuck]]ery. In a clever move, these linguo-terrorist faggots first blew up marriage in The Netherlands in 2001, on motherfucking [[Truth|April Fool's Day]], but nobody noticed because everyone was stoned and because months later [[Jews did WTC]] to make people scared of Arabs instead of [[redundant|Jews and homosexuals]]. And "homophobe" just sounds better than "Islamophobe", and [[Jew]]s already monopolized "anti-Semitic" to mean "anyone who don't [[ISIS|suck]] [[Israel]]'s dick 24/7." In Wooden Shoe Land, [[gay marriage]] is known as "Huwelijk tussen personen van gelijk geslacht", which is the sound of two filthy Dutchmen fisting each other while down inside an outhouse.

In the United States, after days of [[blowjob|oral arguments]], homoterrorists performed their controlled demolition of marriage by smuggling explosive buttplugs into various Justices of the [[Supreme Court]] of the United States, particularly up the anuses of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Justice Elena Kagan, who both officiated gay marriages in the past but felt no need to recuse themselves because they're above the law and can park wherever the hell they fucking want goddammit. Once the Justices [[Lies|impartially voted]] and were the first people on Earth to realize that the 14th Amendment has really been about [[gay marriage|twincest]] for a century and a half, the dyke broke and nobody could escape the oncoming tsunami of faggotry, including the White House in DC and Cinderella's Castle in Disneyland (both lands of make believe featuring presidential robots).
== Religious Perspective ==

{{quote|If a man lies with another man as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. [[O RLY?|They shall surely be put to death]].
|The Bible, Leviticus 20:13}}

Homosexuality is a horrible evil, and anyone who suffers from it must either be cured or put out of their misery. Homosexual activity is punishable by the death penalty under several nations that follow Islamic Sharia Law, including Saudi Arabia and Iran, and [https://www.hrw.org/news/2005/11/21/iran-two-more-executions-homosexual-conduct penetration is not required].

[[Image:Gay_sodomist_niggers.jpg|thumb|This is how it's done. ''Note: no ladies required.'']]

It is good to see that some nations have taken a stand against the spread of [[AIDS]]. However in [[France|Western]] nations and Academia, the "gay community" is considered an oppressed minority whom need legislated protections to ensure their rights. [[Some argue]] that this is what the [[christfags]] mean when they talk about [[buttsecks|humanism]] in education.

There was once a loophole for [[Catholic]] [[pedophile|priests]], provided they were only attracted to [[underage]] boys. This loophole was recently closed due to multiple instances of [[legal action]] after some asshole took everything way too far.
[[File:11922594 Youth-Suicide-Risk-Sex-Orientation-GFX-2.jpg|left|thumb|With your help, we can make it 100%]]
[[TL;DR|It is also worth noting]] that the Bible never got around to shouting about ''lesbians'', therefore lez porn (and whatever else teh lez do) is ''100% lez-tested, [[Raptor Jesus|God]]-approved''. In society, this manifests itself as a strong fan-base for [[Yuri]], compared to [[Yaoi]]. The closest that bible comes to [[trolling|yelling]] about [[lesbians]] is in some letter [[Moron|Paul]] wrote to some [[Italy|Romans]]. It is located at bible coordinates Romulus 001 mark 26: "[[Moonspeak|δια τουτο παρεδωκεν αυτουσ ο θεοσ εισ παθη ατιμιασ]] αι τε γαρ θηλειαι αυτων μετηλλαξαν την φυσικην χρησιν εισ την παρα φυσιν"— "So then God made the ladies get all frrrrreaky." [[Some Argue]] that this is about teh lez. Others argue that Paul considered "freaky" ("την φυσικην χρησιν εισ την παρα φυσιν") to mean ''anything'' that doesn't (την φυσικην χρησιν) make a woman yell "I HOPE I GET PREGNANT RIGHT NOW!" exactly every single time she gets [[Secks|dicked]]. A trouble spot: God ''made them'' get freaky. This is the [[Over 9000|millionth]] instance of God trolling Paul— or even [[I did it for the lulz|all of humanity for two thousand years and counting]]. All the same, He eternally graces us with abundances of lulz and lez, now and forever, in the name of [[Raptor Jesus]], amen.

== What causes the pathetic creation of a gay? ==

Homosexuality, aka The Gay, is caused by [[masturbation]]: being gay for yourself. The reason you're a [[faggot]] is because you touched yourself too much. Oh, and your mom gave you the wrong androgens in the womb, probably because she ate too many canned foods during pregnancy which contained estrogen-analogs in the lining because chemical companies are just making this shit up as they go. Often gayboys were molested as children. We're not saying that raping little boys turns them gay but it does.

After a male has touched his [[Cock|peepee]] [[over 9000]] times he becomes a full-blown homo. After a female has shlicked her [[Clitoris|bean]] over 9000 times she <s>becomes a Melissa Etheridge fan</s> remains [[bisexual]] like she always was. Masturbation is a form of self-hypnotic conditioning to become less disgusted by your own sex's genitals. If a guy is more experienced with touching hard cock than soft coont, he eventually doesn't mind the sight of hard cocks and goes on to touch other cocks. If wimmins are more experienced eating their own seafood, she eventually goes on to become a clamlicker, although she was always turned on by hot naked wimmins because she wanted to be them.

{{quote|Being a woman, I only really have access to the equipment, what, 30-45 minutes a week, and that's on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who own this equipment and have access to it 24 hours a day their entire lives?
|Elaine on ''Seinfeld'' explaining why she can't ungay a guy or compete with anonymous gloryholes}}

Another leading cause of homosexuality is reflective surfaces such as [[mirror]]s, bodies of water, disco balls, and glitter. This explains the ever-increasing faggotry of society and social acceptance of faggotry after the introduction of [[iPhone|slick brickphones]], as well as the total faggotry of fanboys of Apple devices, with their slick reflective surfaces. Consequently, after [[AIDS|Steve Jobs died]] the only person who could be CEO of Apple was a colossal faggot named Tim.

Before the invention of glass mirrors, or even polished metal, bodies of water were the only way for hominids to view their reflection, and many of them may have lived a very long time without ever knowing what their face looked like, like in the desert wasteland of [[Africa]]. Later on hominids began migrating along coastlines. Since homosexuality is based on [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|narcissism]], narcissists fell in love with their reflection and that was their new ideal of beauty: themselves. And due to touching themselves too much, they wanted to mate with themselves, until masturbation was no longer enough. So they seek out a lookalike of themselves to fuck. In the modern age, they might find a lookalike of themselves at a gym, which are typically covered in mirrors. In fact, if you have ever masturbated in front of a mirror, the chance of you being gay is over 9000%.

=== Environmental Factors ===

[[Image:Homosexuality_youngchoice.jpg|thumb|This abused infant embraced homosexuality as a coping mechanism.]]
[[Image:gayspastime.jpg|thumb|Their favorite activity]]

As science tells us, the level of gay someone is is determined by various environmental factors. This is due to the fact that once a homosexual accepts the idea that it will never be like the rest of us, it begins to go through an ongoing process called [[faggotry|cumsumption]]. In this processes, the sufferer rampages through it's environment searching for resources such as Hollister Clothing, Speedos, Macy's Accessories, Edible Lotion, Gerbils, and Creme Brulee. The fagsectivore will cumsume for the rest of it's years, aimlessly searching for [[pussy|happiness]] butt will never find it.

While homosexuality is a choice for the vast majority of people, there are a few threats that may cause permanent or untreatable gayness:

#The [[Gay bomb|Gay Bomb]]
#[[Prison]]
#[[North American DONG Party]]
#[[Bill]]
#[[Bridget]]
#Children Television Shows (see above)
#[http://www.ezoons.com/2003/07/24/posted_for_your_amusement.html Tent Peg]

=== Born this way hoax ===

Brainwashed fags and pseudoliberals like to say that [[lie|"Homosexuals are born this way".]] Science is nowhere near to prove that. If science had proven it, that day would have been the worst butthurt for gays, because it would have opened way to develop test that would detect homosexuality in womb. And no responsible parents want to waste years raising a faggot if they can [[abortion|prevent]] it. Pseudoliberals would instantly became pro-life suddenly, or [[liberty|prohibit]] those pesky tests. Gays have already created an organization, PLAGAL, to fight against abortions. But it is useless, because no test can be created, because homosexuality is environment+choice.

In theory, faggots could use such test to abort heterosexual fetuses instead, thus making more faggots. However, faggots' prevalence less than 5% births means they would have to abort about 20 fetuses on average per making one certain faggot. Now, don't you wish "born this way" was true? It could be a major source of LULZ.

In addition to that, sexuality is a social concept. You can't be born with a sexual preference and anyone that says you can needs to be burned at the stake for public entertainment.

=== Our gay ocean ===

Anywhere there are large bodies of water, there tend to be <s>throngs</s> thongs of homogays, especially near the ocean. Places such as the West Coast and East Coast in the US, [[California]], [[New York]], [[Florida]], Seattle, Portland, Boston, Minneapolis, Houston, Greece, Italy, France, and islands like Hawaii, Britain, Ireland, Haiti, the Bahamas, Belize, Lesbos, Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia (Anti-gay and conservative as fuck because of Islamic sandnigger preachers and severe fear of the ocean, limiting megavirus exposure and reflections), Cuba (where SUPER HIV came from), [[AIDS]] hotspots, and beaches everywhere. This is the blue state/red state dichotomy in the US, blue meaning close to water and wetter and liberal, red meaning landlocked and dryer and conservative. The water=liberal correlation is true for the entire planet. Which explains why [[sandniggers]] and real niggers living in the desert are the most conservative of all and will kill homos on sight, because they realize water shouldn't be wasted in gay bathhouses and steamrooms. And it explains why Olympics swimmers are all closeted fags. Skating on frozen water in glittered polyester is another known sign of faggotry. Since Earth has the most water of any planet in the Solar System, it is also the gayest planet known to science. Another reason why the ocean is so fucking gay is because there is plastic crap everywhere, and Bisphenol A is an estrogen-analog present in most plastics.

[[Some argue|Scientists predict]] coming megadroughts in the US, which will be the worst in 1,000 years. What does that mean for homosexuality? During that time, the ultraconservative ISIS will seek to expand their Islamic caliphate over more worthless desert wasteland. However, coastal cities will probably remain really gay, because the ocean has got some fucked up shit in it and usually any hole will do. That also explains why dolphins are the gayest animal in existence.

Homosexuality is a devastating infectious disease caused by an ocean-borne megavirus. One milliliter of sea water contains approximately 1 million bacteria and 10 million viruses, all of them gay as fuck. The virus that causes GAYS is believed to have originated somewhere in San Francisco Bay or off the coast of Haiti, and tidal currents have disseminated this glittery virus across the planet. The virus's presence in infected water droplets within the water cycle causes rainbows. Rainy areas like Ireland, Britain, Portland, and Seattle are especially prone to rainal infection. Hurricanes can also make viral landfall, especially in Florida. In fact, [[some argue|the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration]] suggests that GAYS was brought to Florida via a hurricane departing Haiti. In an advanced stage of the virus, it develops fruity bodies, with Elton John being their model organism. Upon initial exposure, healthy immune systems rapidly generate FTGE cells to combat the infection, although hosts with limp wrists typically lose the battle and succumb to catastrophic inflammation. If a person has ever gotten sea water in their mouth, the chances of them liking Lady Gaga are at least 100%. The only country that has somehow been near lots water and have stayed anti-gay is Indonesia, as this shitty country is so polluted, limiting reflections. [[Middle East|Sandy]][[Indonesia|niggers]] (Niggers that live in the Muslim World) all have a special gene that gives immunity to the gay megaviruses. We have tried asking them, but we were greeted by AK-47s, tribal shit-throwing and utter retardation.

Penises only emerged in the evolutionary record when sea animals transitioned to land. Before living on land, sea life would just cum in the water, like a San Francisco hot tub, and this faggotry washes up on all coastlines. But once on dry land, lifeforms without dongs were like two scissor sisters trying to bump uglies and failing. Until males grew schlongs, inventing PIV intercourse which nearly all land animals use to make babbies, but which homos misuse to get AIDS and E. Coli inside their mouths urethra and anus.

=== Moar causes ===

Other causes of gayness include:
[[File:Rouged german airmen daily mirror 16 apr 1941.jpg|thumb|right|200px]]

#being constantly rejected by the opposite sex
#sneezing like a mouse
#[[redundant|insane women]]
#gay music
#[[prison gay|prison]]
#a gay person touching you or using the same water fountain as them
#having a name or frequent nickname that ends in an "ee" sound
#sewing machines
#[[crybully|being a bully but acting the victim]]
#thinking girls have cooties
#looking/talking/singing like the opposite sex, especially after shorter/longer hair
#being Jewish or Turkish
#[[British|sipping tea]]
#imitating the opposite sex, especially your single black mom
#having religious leaders who talk softly like a breathy faggot in an attempt to sound "spiritual"
#thinking your right to buy cake or not ever be offended trumps the First Amendment
#hating seafood
#criticizing people's clothing
#being a liberal fascist
#limp wrists
#being unable to grow hair on your chest because you never went through puberty
#removing chest hair
#[[Hypocrisy|making death threats against "intolerant" people and businesses]]
#drama class
#watching gay children's shows where everyone talks like a fag
#singing and dancing
#getting anything pierced or gayjd
#having same-sex parents
#using moisturizer
#smoking, which kills off the Y chromosome in blood cells
#skipping
#being frivolous
#synthesizers
#enjoying professional wresting
#wanting to be a flight attendant or hairdresser or makeup artist
#tofu and soy
#spending too much time photoshopping or editing images of the same sex
#having big lips
#being a hateful bigot who loathes the opposite sex yet acts like them
#watching musicals
#watching [[Family Guy]]
#talking like a catty bitch or effete fop because you're an elitist who wants to seem like you were born into a higher social class
#playing with Barbies or action figures or other plastic crap
#mosquitos
#being a professional football player ([[handegg]] in [[murka]], [[soccer]] in [[Europe|Yoorup]])
#touching a piano
#being a [[fat|lardass]], since fat tissue produces excess estrogen (cp. early onset puberty for fat girls, moobs for guys)
#owning hair gel
#enjoying pooping too much
#discriminating against people based on their religious beliefs because you don't believe in sin but claiming to be "anti-discrimination"
#having a butch mother who is a dried up husk
#marijuana
#any college course about sex or gender (same thing)
#touching thermal paper receipts, especially if you eat with your hands later
#walking in your mom's shoes as a child
#having rich parents, the closer to monarchy the better
#acting oppressed but being an exalted privileged worshipped minority that the media and corporations bend over for because it's good PR and they fear your gay wrath
#MTV
#using the words "honey" or "bitches" or "whatever" (especially "look honey" or "hey bitches")
#caring about your abs
#being a ninny
#eating SpaghettiOs or drinking from plastic bottles
#materialistically caring more about cakes, flowers, photos, pizza, fried chicken, and arts and crafts than poverty or climate change
#being a gynecologist or delivering babies
#a parent of the same sex changing your diaper as a baby
#dimples
#your name is [[moot]]
#being an [[EDiot]]
#being forever alone and desperate and having no other options
#being [[you]] in general

[[Disregard that]]. Sexuality is '''solely determined''' by the length of your ring finger because palm reading and has nothing to do with resenting your parents or an obsession with buttsex. [[Some argue|Scientists have determined]] that if your ring finger is not at least twice as long as your index finger you're a fucking shiteating faggot. Ergo, flipperbabies are dolphinkin, clawbabies are lobsterkin, and losing your hand in a woodchipper or meatgrinder will turn you asexual. QED.

== Self-Identification Guide For Young Men ==

[[Image:Fag_pounding.gif|thumb|250px|Take it up the shitter, my son!!]]
[[Image:Faggots.JPG|thumb|Homosexuality can develop in boys as early as [[13-year-old boy|age thirteen]].]]
[[Image:Splooge.gif|thumb|Fags LOVE eating cum. All the more reason to never talk to one.]]
[[Image:Glory.gif|thumb|210px|You might find a wild homosexual in your local area sucking dick through gloryholes, such as in public washroom stalls.]]

Teenage homosexuals are often awash in hormones, and tend to experience confusion about their decision to become gay as a child. Homosexuality is a treatable but permanent affliction, and these indicators can help anyone who has doubts about their sexual identity:

#You think vaginas are "icky" or look like roast beef
#You have a pronounced ''lithp''.
#You are attempting to reclaim [[Homosexual epithets|one of these words]] amongst the queer "in" group.
#You don't enjoy [[Yuri|lesbian porn]].
#You are afraid to be [[Lindsay Lohan|raped by a loli]].
#You can break a man/bear/manbear's anus.
#You were molested as a [[13_year_old_boy|child]].
#[[Dustin Michaels|You have videos of yourself choking on all sorts of things on the internet]].
#There is constant talk of pussy from your mouth, within jokes and stories. You can't go a day without talking about the wonderfulness that is poon.
Finally, if you are an [[Special:ListUsers/sysop|ED administrator]] there is no doubt you are indeed, homosexual.

Gay
by ~Plaid-Rose

I am gay.
I'm not a disease, I'm not a problem
I'm not an affliction
I don't need treatment.
I don't need help
I'm not sick
I'm not confused
I'm not a sin.

I am gay.
I'm your daughter
Your sister
Your friend
Your co worker
Your classmate
Your acquaintance
A complete stranger

I am gay.
I need love, just like you
I need smiles
I need support
I need a hug
I need a friend
I need a family
I need acceptance
I need understanding
I need you

I am gay.
I know what love is
I know what pain is
I know what hate is
I know what life is

I am gay.
And I need you to love me
The same way you loved me before you knew

I am gay.
And I have experienced hate
From more people than just you

I am gay.
And I wont change.
I wont give up.
I wont back down.
I wont pretend.
I wont lie.
I wont deny.
I wont hide.
I wont hurt.

I am gay.

And that's okay.

(You read that? Time to become anhero! Do it faggot!!! )

<center><big>'''Videos of the Gay:'''</big></center>

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|starvids|font-weight:bold;|
|<youtube>Wza9QWogfxQ</youtube>
;1
|<youtube>1lbYHw-MHSo</youtube>
;2
|<youtube>-HePTmrV-og</youtube>
;3}}
|}}
}}

== Politics and Demographics ==

[[Image:Xerxy2.jpg|thumb|250px|Iran has been homosexual-free for 2500 years.]]
[[Image:000 gaychavs.jpg|thumb|Black with one cream, please.]]
[[Image:GayStreetSign.jpg|thumb|Actual definition of Gay in San Francisco.]]
[[Image:MexicanandWhitegheys.jpg‎|thumb|I love it when you talk to me like that...]]
[[Image:Illumibf.jpg|thumb|Arrested in [[Dubai|AbuDhabi]] after marriage party.]]
[[Image:J00gotpwn.JPG|thumb|You too can be teh gehy!]]
[[Image:Lolgaysz.jpg|thumb|San Francisco is the best place to spot wild homosexuals.]]
[[Image:Xrayblow.jpg‎|thumb|Gay, totally gay, Liberace gay]]

There are no laws in the civilized parts of the world that oppress gay people, meaning that's the only thing the [[Arab]] people have better then us. Due to the lack of laws protecting us, the proponents of '''Gay Rights''' claim that homosexuals deserve rights and privileges above and beyond those held by everyone else. Current laws endorse marriage among [[breeder|heterosexual couples]] because of their unique ability to expand the tax base. The notion of marriage among homosexual deviants is unnecessary and counter-productive, akin to [[polygamy]] and [[incest]].

Gays are everywhere, except vaginas. Most people have no clue just how gay the world is. No one takes notice because its really not that hard to be a fag. Here are some examples of social structures of homosexual towns... which is all of them:

Homosexuals in liberal towns tend to let their sexuality run rampant effectively gehying up the town. Many cities on the [[California|US West Coast]] reach critical capacity yearly, resulting in a concentration of faggotry known as "Gay Pride Parades".

In well adjusted towns, homosexuals are much more difficult to spot. It's commonplace to mistake a Homosexual for a heterosexual by believing that the individual "loves women too much to be gay." While few poorly adjusted individuals are tolerated for fagging up the place, the mass majority remains closeted.

As for backwards towns where the barbaric practice of Fag Hunting is a common sport, human productivity becomes stagnant as the populations of whole towns concern themselves with the sexual practices of others, wherein not even the Straight men are safe from homosexual thoughts and viewing as they go hunting for [[Shemale|live porn]].

The majority of vagina wielders are unable to love exclusively so they justify their promiscuity with the term "bi-sexual." It is wrongly believed by butthurt lesbos that most females are making shit up, but they are correct in believing teen girls are using their bi-sexuality for attention whoring (among other types of whoring).

As gay men are 90% woman anyway, some of them take the label of "bisexual" as well for the same reason as women. Any penis holder marked as bisexual on any site is a homo who wants it in the ass, but is too much of a pussy to come out and say so for fear his parents will be more butthurt than he is at the end of the night.

=== Catholic Church ===

One of the oldest and most traditional gay organizations is the [[Catholic]] Church. Being homosexual and molesting altar boys is an elementary requirement of membership. Since openly gay men were persecuted and discriminated over previous centuries, the catholic church came to the conclusion that to preserve their boy loving lifestyle they should [[pretend]] to oppose homosexuality strictly.

The head of this organization is called the Pope. The key requirement to become pope
is to have a long history of committing and hiding child [[surprise sex]] and the ability to suck a golf ball through a key hole.

The official priest motto is known to be: "They can't be too young, just too tight."

=== Major <abbr title="Gay Populated Cities">GPCs</abbr> ===

[[Image:Gay?.jpg|thumb|If you look like this, you're most certainly [[not gay]].]]

Where gays hang out and suck dick. Avoid these areas at all costs, or you will get the [[AIDS]].

*[[Salt Lake City]] 10(10-6)% gay
*[[San Francisco]] [[Over 9000|9000+% gay]]
*[[Houston]] 69% gay (even the mayor is [[lesbian]])
*[[New York City]] 14.2% gay, but skewed higher in the borough of Manhattan. On certain blocks in Chelsea, you can become infected with HIV [[fact|simply by breathing the air]].
*[[Seattle]] 12.9% gay
*[[Atlanta]] 12.8% gay
*[[Minneapolis]] 12.5% gay
*[[Boston]] 12.3% gay
*Sacramento 9.8% gay
*Portland 8.8% gay
*Denver 8.2% gay
*Washington D.C. 8.1% gay
*[[Orlando]] <s>7.7% gay</s> '''BTFO'''
*Boise 7.6% (with 12% of the city closeted)
*[[Iran]] 0% gay according to President [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]]. I suppose the rest of the world would experience this "[[religious]] [[Bullshit|phenomenon]]" too if homosexuality was punishable by [[death]].

=== United States ===

The democratic party places [[Victim complex|perceived victims]] above all other constituents, thus it remains the popular choice for homosexual support. However, in US politics, 99% of all professional homosexual politicians are actually closeted conservative republicans, and several dozen are outed every year. The Democratic Party is at least 150% gay.

==== The Nigger/Faggot Paradox ====

Although [[slavery]] was [[Lulz|funny]], many homosexuals believe that slavery provides a common ground between Gays and Blacks as persecuted minorities, and thus makes them natural allies in the struggle for civil rights.

The truth is that gays simply want to get close to blacks to score some [[Black Cock|big black cock]].

[[Blacks]] seem to reject this argument, claiming that being sold onto a boat and shipped across the ocean to be beaten, raped and killed with impunity contrasts poorly with the "right" of [[tfo|poking your dick up some truck drivers asshole at the local rest stop]].

This proves that blacks are [[homophobic]] and secretly wish that all gays were dead, because there is no other reason for not liking homosexuals except for being scared of them... yeah that's true.

==== San Francisco ====

Name means ''Saint [[French]]''. It used to be the gayest city in the world.

==== Salt Lake City ====

[[conservative|Religious]] gays congregate here. It supercedes San Francisco as the gayest city (no '''{{archive|hsEN9|srsly}}''').

=== Australia ===

Hot and sticky, a perfect habitat for fags. Their over-breeding has created a desert wasteland run by gay-bikers as depicted in the award winning documentary Mad Max, narrated by [[Mel Gibson]].

=== Iran ===

There are no gays in [[Iran]], I don't know who told you there was. We do not experience this phenomenon in Iran. The president of Iran personally went into every bathroom stall in Iran looking for gays and found none. He did find this great little glory hole in a gas station in downtown Tehran, slobbered a knob, but didn't take a census of the [[faggotry]] cause he was busy. Busy with cock in his mouth. Iran also gives gays the punishment they deserve: death.

=== United Arab Emirates ===

There are thousands of gays in [[Dubai|Arab Emirates]], being a faggot is well defined culture in this country thanks to many famous people being homos in secret society then giving up the pleasure with men to marrying a woman. Recently in year 2005 fags were caught having marriage party in [[New York|Abu Dhabi]] with a '''{{wikilink|Mohamed_bin_Zayed_Al_Nahyan|well known person}}''' among all citizens. Being gay in this country will result in jail term which will expose you to more dicks to be presented to you by force in filthy [[prison|prisons]]. Some say he started with a [[Japan|Japanese]] guy who used to be a basketball player ([[power word|Rukawa]]), and he killed his own dad to become a crown [[idiot|Prince]], yet any person that spoke about him ended up in underground torturing prison for years if not months. Some say that [[idiot|he]] sacrificed 89 soldiers of his own [[army]] lives in Yemen as he knew a Scud missile would hit their base as his [[Jew|Jews]] masters requested him to do this sacrifice in [[Yemen]]. [[Dubai]] ruler himself was gay [[last thursday|few years ago]] until he gave the previous ruler the option to give up the ruling or face death and made up news about [[power word|drug overdose]].

=== Uganda ===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>euXQbZDwV0w</youtube>
<center>'''Why homosexuality should be illegal–because only gay people [[germany|eat scat]]. Facepalm.'''}}</center>
 
== Facts ==

#Not exist none "[[homophobia]]", the hate fags for damage eyesight and cause nausea and derivatives of these two.
#99.9% of the gay cummunity think it's a fucking trend.

=== The gay rights movement has been a front for pedophiles the entire time ===

[[Image:Bostonboise2.jpg|thumb|center|800px|'''''(Teh [[Truth|newspaper]], April 22 1978)''''']]

== Galleries ==
===General Faggotry===
{{cg|Homosexuality|GayGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Fisting shoulder s.gif|I wish I knew how to quit you.
File:Boys1.gif
File:Dad sucking dildo.gif
File:Fatgayoldmen.jpg
File:Anusstatue.jpg|Gay attempt at "[[porn|high art]]".
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Spank this.jpg
File:Followyourfaggots.png
File:bonehead.gif
File:Gay PPL are Fascists.png
File:Imgay.gif
File:Gay torture porn53.jpg|Goddamn homoes!!
File:Ancient greek pedo.gif|[[Greek]] gay!
File:Every color of the rainbow44.png|Every colour of the rainbow, should be killed!!
File:AIDS-gayforums.jpg|Spread the [[AIDS|love.]]
File:Fag seeking attention mumble comics.jpg|Fags just want [[you|your]] attention
File:Gay_orgy.jpg|Artistic depiction of horny and rabid homosexuals.
File:Water sports- gay 5.gif|This isn't very gay.
File:Blackwar20001.JPG|Digimon are gay too
File:Kosfabulous.jpg|Homos are usually [[liberal]], and vice versa
File:Power of a Faggot.jpg|Never underestimate the power of a faggot.
File:Kablonk.gif|ITS GAY BECAUSE A [[FTW|MAN]] HAS [[Boobs|TEETS]]
File:Faggots234.jpg
File:HomosexualLogic.jpg
File:Misplaced Pride.png
File:Raise The Gay Flag.jpg
File:Homosexuality gay power.jpg|Cars of the future will run on '''gay power'''.
File:GayFaggot.jpg| Homo admiring himself
File:GAY.jpg|This is what you will look like when you catch [[teh]] ghey.
File:Elmo experiments.jpg|Typical experience into becoming a homosexual
File:AssPirateFlag.png|[[Ass pirate]] flag
File:SongOfMyPeople.jpg|He sings the song of our people.
File:Gayforyou.jpg|Worst case scenario for homosexuals
File:Gay.gif|Typical gay taunts
File:Virusbreeder.png|VIRUS BREEDER
File:Cross_arab_dresser.jpg|What gay men aspire to be.
File:Maddox2.jpg|Ass pirates plague Fisherman's Wharf, [[San Francisco]].
File:Gay_ernie_and_bert_.jpeg|Bert ass pwning Ernie.
File:Gay_Spray.jpg|Spray your faggot blues away!
File:I Like Those Odds.jpg|'4 Delicious Chances To Have A Gaytime'? I like those odds.
File:XP1.jpg|The aftermath.
File:Bushsaudkiss.jpg|A typical homosexual couple [[camwhore|embracing for cameras]].
File:Exceptforhomos.gif|Homos don't get constitutional rights.
File:rainbowgod.jpg|Christian hate teh gheyness.
File:Gaynazis small.jpg|Hitler and the Nazis were early proponents of gay "marriage."
File:Qd1.png|Queer Duck! He's intellectual! Queer Duck! He's Homosexual!
File:Gay1.jpg|You wish, girlfriend!
File:Fire Hydrant Anus.jpg
File:Faggotry1488.jpg|Gays against Fags
File:Timhardaway.jpg|The joke? Tim Hardaway said "I hate gays."
File:GayRepubs.gif|Admit it, you've never heard of a gay [[democrat]].
File:Protest_Sign-Homosexuals_are_Gay_.jpg|[[O RLY?]]
File:sickqueer.jpg|Queers love playing with kids.
File:NappyCake.jpg|A gay [[delicious cake]]
File:Faghaveone.jpg|Everyone should have one.
File:You, Sir, Are All Teh Gay!.jpg|Back in the old days, people weren't as accepting of the dirty, shit-stabbing faggots as they are now.
File:MitziGaynor.jpg|Gay was invented in [[Mormons|Las Vegas]], where it is still legal. Unfortunately.
File:Wienerandballsman.jpg|I honestly don't have anything to say.
File:Gaylasers.jpg|firin mah gay laser at chu
File:Homosexuality in japan.jpg|Photos from the recent [[Asian]] Gay Outbreak
File:Lol_gay_emo.jpg|[[Emo]]s are gay too
File:Gay_empire.jpg|Proof gays spawned from the [[Starcraft|zerg]].
File:Bawls_Touching.jpg|Bawls Touching is gay.
File:Sick.jpg|[[You]] and your friends.
File:Womenmadeaids.jpeg|FACT:[[Women]] created AIDS then blamed it on gay people.
File:Potn support gay son.png
File:Pg2_u_nadal_federer_576.jpg|What tennis players do after matches
File:nappa.jpg|Typical Gay Man Eying You From Across The Bar
File:Beachguys.jpg|Nothing gay here.
File:Possibly Gay.png|[[cunt|Vaginas]] are thataway bra.
File:Godless_Sodomites_Spread_Disease.jpg|Don't turn to the dark side of the rump ride!
File:Godless_Sodomites.jpg|Boy Scouters are always on the look out for butt secks!
File:Leviticus_Tattoo.jpg|Some exceptions can be made, but never with gays!
File:I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.png|Money is the primary cause of homosexuality
File:Poju 3.jpeg
File:Completelynatural.jpg
File:Millennial.jpg
File:Gay Dating Market.png
File:Bog Faggot.png
File:Swedishcucksucker.jpg
File:Stoddarts Road Festival.jpg
File:Ren and Stimpy chopping wood.gif|How homos chop wood.
File:Gay_-_Did_You_Smile.jpg
File:Gay_-_Grow_Up_To_Be_Gay.jpg
File:Gay_-_Public_Butt_Plug.jpg
File:Gay_-_Wrong_Neighbourhood.jpg
File:Oops_Cought_the_Gay.jpg|If you've posted a picture here you're a flaming fucking fag!!
File:No_Gay_People.jpg
File:Arms-crossed.jpg
File:Gay_-_Cure.jpg
File:Gay_-_Hotel_Design.jpg
File:Gay_-_Spiderman_Faggot_Detector.jpg
File:Coming_out_as_Cis_pamphjlet.jpg
File:Pride_flag.jpg
File:Brother Bear Gay Scene.png
File:Gmil.gif|WOW, great technique!!
File:Pussy strapon.jpg|It's [[not gay]] if you're fucking a [[lie|vagina]].
File:Quite_Possibly_The_Gayest_Image_Ever.jpg
File:Gay-mating-dance.gif|A [[autism|dance]] [[faggot|gays]] use to attract [[retards|mates]]
File:Why Don't Them Queers Love Dobson.jpg|Because [[Andrew Dobson|Dobson]], you're a selfish, untalented, [[lolcow]] with a [[Inflation art|inflated]] ego.
File:Gay oral sex.jpg
File:Doubleblowjob.jpg
</gallery>}}

=== Gay Comics ===

[[I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds|I'm in ur comics fagging it up]]!

Gays have spread from the real world to the art world. There are [[Brokeback Mountain|gay movies]], [[Elton John|gay songs]], and of course, lots and lots of gay art and comics. Here is an example of Gay comics at their finest (for more gay comics, check out [[Shota]]):

{{cg|Truckers In Denial!|TuckerGallery|center|<gallery>
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 0.jpg
File:1267824708576.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 1.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 2.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 3.jpg
File:1267824927303.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 5.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 6.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 7.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 8.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 9.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 10.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 11.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 12.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 13.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 14.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 15.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 16.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 17.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 18.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 19.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 20.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 21.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 22.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 23.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 24.jpg
File:Trucker Fags in Denial page 25.jpg
File:1267826004799.jpg
File:1267826106585.jpg
File:1267826146283.jpg
File:1267826179050.jpg
File:1267826248850.jpg
File:Methhead Pedophiles.jpg
File:StopTheFags.jpg
</gallery>}}

== Videos ==
[[File:Areyougay.jpg|thumb|right|Gays can't [[Airplane|fly]].]]

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|gayvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>F-mjl63e0ms</youtube>
;Homosexuality - the musical
|<youtube>9Ifo6weJ0kc</youtube>
;BE GAY PL0X KTHXBYE
|<youtube>4z5pUqMALqo</youtube>
;3
|<youtube>NiCFybnQ7mc</youtube>
;4
|<youtube>fbGkxcY7YFU</youtube>
;5
|<youtube>dCae3aSUqaM</youtube>
;6
|<youtube>QfTW2l-CynI</youtube>
;7
|<youtube>ijbovskICjk</youtube>
;8
|<youtube>zHG2LJGfEdw</youtube>
;9
|<youtube>l5aZJBLAu1E</youtube>
;10}}
|}}
}}

<center>{{frame|<youtube>EUm7DEC_lls</youtube>
<center>'''Let the mating begin!'''}}</center>

== See Also ==

[[Image:Care_Assistant.jpg|thumb|When gays get old.]]
[[Image:Anti-gay-protesters-pwned.jpg|thumb|right|[[Pwned]]]]
[[Image:Gay Pride.jpg|thumb|right|A typical gathering]]

*[[AIDS]]
*[[Angry Homo Kid]]
*[[JezuzFreek777]]
*[[Atheist]]
*[[Brony]]
*[[Buttsecks]]
*[[Cancer Jesus]]
*[[CocoaPuff310]]
*[[CyberDemon531]]
*[[Pedo Scarface|Drake]]
*[[Faggot]]
*[[Faggot Bruce]]
*[[Fitlads]]
*[[Football]]
*[[Gaydar]]
*[[Gay hanky code]]
*[[Gay Teen Forum]]
*[[Gay Rape]]
*[[God hates fags]]
*[[Govteen]]
*[[Heterosexuality]]
*[[Homosexual epithets]]
*[[Homophobia]] – a gay term
*[[Insane]]
*[[Fiero425]]
*[[I have a lot of|I know a lot of gay people]]
*[[It Gets Better]]
*[[Jonas Brothers]]
*[[John Cena]]
*[[JoshU2uber]]
*[[Labrinth]]
*[[Lesbian]]
*[[Michael Explicit]]
*[[No homo]]
*[[Not gay]]
*[[Professional Wrestling]]
*[[Proposition 8]]
*[[Pulse Nightclub Massacre]] - a lot of gays were slayed here
*[[South Park]]
*[[Think B4 You Speak]]
*[[Uncyclopedia]]
*[[White People]]
*[[You]]

=== Famous Gays ===

[[Image:Josh loves bacon.jpg|thumb|Gay on a Wednesday night.]]

*[[:Template:closetcases|All of these assholes]]
*[[Steven Slater]]
*[[User:2006dramatician|2006dramatician]]
*[[Pope|The Pope]]
*[[Brüno]]
*[[Harry Potter#DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!!!|Dumbledore]]
*[[PedoBear|Drake]]
*[[Homestar Runner]]
*[[Elton John]]
*[[Jameth]]
*[[moot]]
*[[Quentin Hubbard]]
*[[Tfo]]
*[[Trap-kun]]
*[[Littlekuriboh]]
*<s>[[You]]</s> You will never be famous.

== External Links ==

[[Image:Homo sausage.jpg|thumb|Biological warfare at it's tastiest.]]

*{{ytlink|haOp4UakQ-Y|The pentagon was considering making a bomb that causes homosexuality}}
*[https://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron1.html Indisputable and completely factual scientific information that homos don't want you to know]
*[https://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron2.html Part 2] & [https://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron3.html Part 3]
*[http://homo.com This answers all the questions you may have]
*{{wayback|http://www.pantiesformen.com/home.html|20050406134019|title=Pantiesformen.com}} - YOU KNOW YOU JUST CANT RESIST CLICKING HERE
*'''{{archive|FrD0Y|Homosexuality in action}}'''
*'''{{archive|5q9rI|A real estate agent named "Gaye Males"}}'''
*'''{{archive|2yFz5|Gaydar}}'''
*{{wayback|http://www.salon.com/people/feature/2000/09/14/gaygaygay/index.html|20010602071554|title=Slang Evolution}}
*[https://americansfortruth.com/ A fair and balanced website on homosexuality]
*<s>{{yt|c|TheGAYarid|The G.A.Y. Channel on Youtube}}</s> '''Terminated'''
*{{archive|SASml|17-YEAR-OLD GIRL KILLS FAGS, GETS 2.5 YEARS IN PRISON}} - Epic win for [[heterosexual|normal people]]
*[http://www.zombietime.com/folsom_sf_2007_part_1/index.php What happens when you let gays out in public.]
*[http://eye.swfchan.com/flash.asp?id=2290&n=ultimateorgy.swf The Ultimate Orgy]
*[https://www.gayvoyageur.com/ Guide gay]

{{Psychology}}
{{gayporn}}
{{Retarded Edit Wars}}
{{sex}}
{{lezz}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 15, [[2012]]|[[Redneck]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[th3j35t3r]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article June 6 and June 7, [[2023]]|[[Brony]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Nikola Tesla]]}}

[[Category:Shock Sites]]
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Satanism]]
[[Category:You]]

Bubba Copeland

2024-08-15T22:38:30Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{SickFuck}}
{{tranny}}
{{an hero}}
{{tran hero}}
{{quote|To say I was a stalker would be a bit of an understatement''| Bubba [[cry|COPE]]land}}
[[File:Bubbacopeland.png|thumb|right|He was also very ugly]]
'''Fred L. "Bubba" Copeland''', also known as "''Brittney Blaire Summerlin''"{{trans}} was a weirdo, creep, gooner, fat fuck, and [[tranny]] and [[lie|upstanding christian conservative]] who was elected mayor of some bullshit yeehaw redneck shithole named Smiths Station in [[Alabama]]. After years of doing literally nothing as mayor, Bubba was exposed as a cross-dressing [[faggot]]. After his whole trailer park goat-fucker community heckled and ridiculed him for dressing up in his wife's clothes, Bubba hilariously [[an hero|an hero'd himself]]. However, his death was positively received after it was discovered that he was a severe creep, just like any other troon that ever existed.

A supposed "Republican", "Christian" and "Conservative", Bubba followed the [[Republican]] practice of preaching about fags going to hell, but also being a huge homo at the same time. We know that most anti-gay Republicans are secretly gay, but this butterball is the most rainbow-covered greasy shemale to walk through the [[incest|cousin-diddling]] state of Alabama.

== Autogynephelia ==
[[File:Bubbacopelandinstagrampage.png|thumb|right|He says it was for "humor", but his Instagram says otherwise]]
[[File:Bubbacopeland2.jpg|thumb|left|[[DO NOT WANT]]]]
On November 1, 2023, blueberry Bubba was exposed as a crossdresser. The reptiles who work at [[fake news|1819news]] decided to find some dirt on the mayor just to get their kicks. They found his secret [[Reddit]] and other social media accounts, where he would steal his wife's dresses and take ugly pictures of himself. Some pictures were just typical dresses, but other ones were of women's underwear that barely fit him at all, which is absolutely funny to laugh at. Bubba would upload the pictures of himself, thinking that he was "sexy" and often labeling himself as "curvy", although we all know what the BMI of the average Republican is (Bubba is an example). Hilariously, Bubba also worked as a pastor, which means he would switch between his clerical suit and his dress depending on the day.

Now after 1819news decided to fuck his life over (for [[lulz]]), Bubba publicaly stated: [[fail|''"Yes, I have taken pictures with my wife in the privacy of our home in an attempt at humor because I know I'm not a handsome man nor a beautiful woman, either."'']]. However, his humor excuse would crash down on him worse than all the donuts he filled his gut with. His posts on Reddit proved that he was considering "transitioning" into a female (which is impossible), and he would positively encourage taking HRT, thinking that it will magically turn him into some kind of [[HAWT CHICK]].

== Creep ==

Bubba would write his own fiction under his gooner persona, where he would steal the names of real life people living in his town to write erotica. That's right, he wrote sexual fanfiction about the actual residents who elected him to do nothing as mayor except eat burgers. In one story, he would talk about [[stalker|using security cameras to stalk random female citizens]]. It only gets worse from there. One of his writings was about murdering a real life woman in his area, and then assuming her identity. Since we already know the fat fuck is a creep, there's a chance this wasn't even fiction.
In fact, it appears every single thing posted online by fatbody was insane, creepy, and often borderline [[law|illegal]]:

*Bubba found a picture of two random kids, a boy and a girl, and then posted the caption [[groomer|"Take the shots, get implants, become the whore."]]. [https://al-news.transforms.svdcdn.com/production/images/Copeland-meme-1.jpg?w=840&q=90&auto=format&fit=crop&dm=1699037373&s=febf9f8ee83abe63989eea4d93bc7be1 Proof]
*He would post pictures of minors to his social media account and [[groomer|muse about them transitioning]].
*[[groomer|Told kids online to get HRT]]
*Owned porn accounts, where he would scare off the users by uploading a picture of himself, but he also stole pictures of unsuspecting citizens and then posted them on those porn websites.
*Bragged about using security cameras to [[you|stalk women in his town]].
*The shitty story below is Bubba fantasizing about murdering a real life woman in his area, and then assuming her identity. By the way, he used a real name of a woman living in his area.
=== Dangerous Obsession by Bubba Copeland ===
{{story|<pre>
Chapter One:

I wanted her life! Staring at her on the latest Social Media
Application, all I could think about was how amazing it must be to be
her. Now! I realize that no one's life is perfect however from all her
internet post she portrayed the life of perfection! At 29 years old,
married, and due to gastric bypass surgery had lost a lot of weight, she
looked on top of the world. Blonde hair perfectly styled, incredible
makeup, one would think she could grace the cover of any magazine. She
wore the latest in trendy boutique clothes and shoes. Heels, Ankle
boots, thigh high boots, flats, and Sneakers. Fashion was her "game,"
and she was great at it. Married for six years, they were examples of
the perfect American couple. She was everything I wish I could be!
Sadly, as a 32-year-old male computer nerd, I was left with nothing more
than my dreams.

Across town; Sydney Summers sat waiting on her next client. She thought
"If people only knew how being late to a hair appointment, can disrupt
the beautician's whole day." She scanned her phone looking and scrolling
in hopes to pass the time. "I haven't eaten all day," however since her
surgery, she always seemed hungry. Snapping a selfie to post, she was
aware that the forty pounds she had lost in the past three months, she
was cautious to eat anything. Image was important to Sydney, for years
she had struggled with her weight, before last year every picture that
she took reminded her of her flaws.

In my cubicle I scanned her page. "She posted a new picture!" Excited I
screenshot it to add to my ever-growing collection. To say I was a
stalker would be a bit of an understatement. Every post she made I
studied it, analyzing and taking notes of her daily routine. What she
ate, what she drank, from her favorite coffee to her favorite alcoholic
drink. Her life had become my obsession.

Taking a sip of her coffee, the customer spoke, "Girl let me tell you!"
Sydney listened to the latest gossip as she worked patiently putting
foil in her hair. She thought, "The best part of my job is, being the
hub for all the latest gossip!" The young lady in the chair had just
shared, that she had been having an affair with her boss for the last
three months, and she wasn't sure how to keep it from her husband.
Sydney finished the fantastic cut and color, grabs her phone and takes a
picture with the customer.

Finishing up my work for the day, I close my laptop and head home. Like
always I ride by her Beauty salon "Sydney's Shoppe of Beauty" in hopes
that I can see her through the glass. The shop is a cute little Boutique
and Salon. Painted a perfect teal and pink. The clothing part was on the
left side of the building packed with all the latest fashions and
jewelry. "No luck" another wasted trip, "O well, maybe tomorrow morning
when I head to work."

"Business is great," she thought as she looked at the Six chairs all
full of women getting their hair cut by one of the girls in the salon.
Each one had their different personality. Most beauticians were unique,
to begin with; however, her girls were like family. All dressed in the
latest fashions complimented with a personalized monogrammed apron for
each one. A must! "If you work at Sydney's." The stories she heard
inside these walls would make a sailor blush. Tales of swinging couples,
girls experimenting with each other, and even the occasional sorted
affair. Yes, her shop was the place to be! And Sydney loved it.

Being a loner with nothing to do, I called a friend and invited her to
dinner. Arriving early at a local Mexican restaurant, I sat down and
ordered a Margarita, and enjoyed the Chips and Salsa. People watching
has always been a joy of mine. When people come and go I wonder about
their lives, "is that his wife!?" Or maybe "it's his girlfriend?" Or
maybe "why in the world would someone wear that in public?"

My friend Hanna showed up fashionably late as always, walking in like a
tornado she flopped down took my Margarita and took a huge swallow.
"Whew, what a day!" Hanna was an up and coming real estate agent, and in
high demand. "The market is on fire and between closings, open houses
and client meetings I am having the hardest time keeping up!" feeling
her frustration I said, "I can imagine." "Some days I just think if
there were two of me, I could get so much more done." Her words hit me
like a ton of bricks! "If there were two- if there were two, why can't
there be two?" I thought. "Surely I can recreate myself and become an
exact twin of Sidney's "That's it!" I will transition to become Sydney
2.0

After dinner, I rushed home to devise and work on my plan. I knew one
thing about myself, "If I put my mind into something, nothing can stop
me from making it happen." It was not going to be easy but "people
transition every day." After a quick Internet search and studying
several Reddit messages, I found out how to purchase a feminization
hormone regiment. Opening a secret file on my computer, I gazed at my
enormous picture collection of her, and begin to take detailed notes on
the girl I was about to become.

"I absolutely love these!" she said holding a pair of metallic gold
Sandals. "How much?" Sydney asked the clerk. "One Hundred and fifty
dollars." she knew money was not an option when it comes to fashion, she
replied, "I'll take them!" Sydney had a problem; she is what you would
call "high maintenance." From her Audi R8, to her designer handbag she
worked hard for her money, and she drove it, wore it, and spent it.
"Caramel Macchiato, with skim milk and sugar-free whipped cream,
PLEASE," Sydney said to the barista. Being a little "extra" was her
thing, with a sweet personality and a side of bitch she gave off the
Aire of a confident socialite.

Chapter Two

The package arrived as expected, and I couldn't wait to get started! As
my favorite quote goes "today is the first day of the rest of your life"
quickly I opened the package spilling the contents out on the counter
top. Organizing the two prescriptions into distinct piles, I examined
what laid before me. An anti-androgen plus an estrogen pill, and I knew
this was the first steps to becoming "Sydney Summers."

"White?" I didn't know White, is a fingernail color? I quickly searched
Amazon and found the exact brand OPI brand, "Chiffon on my mind."
Nothing missed my eye, when it came to detail! I had already ordered the
last seven outfits she wore, along with shoes. My diet consisted of
salads, and very little more; in an effort, hopefully, to get down to
her size. At 5'9" I wasn't sure how I was going to match her 4'11"
frame, but that was relative at this point, my only focus was becoming
as close as possible.

"Beep, beep, beep" Sydney rolled over to the sound of her alarm. Wiping
honey colors tresses out of her face, she turned over and banged the
alarm clock, wishing for ten more minutes. Lying there thinking of all
the things on her to-do list, at this moment she just didn't have the
will to do it. As the covers Rustled next to her, she quietly rolled
over and slid her petite frame next to her husband. Rubbing the little
hairs on his chest, she slowly worked her way down his stomach, reaching
into his boxers finding the prize she wanted! Her husband's magic stick!

I wonder does she take a shower or a bath? Does she shave every day? Do
her panties and bra match all the time? These are thoughts that plague
my mind. Being a relatively good hacker, I had to figure out a way to
install some code or Spyware on her devices. Quickly scanning Reddit and
a few other message boards I had found my answer. I could offer to build
an app for the shop. “Suggest” that it would be a way for her customers
to access an appointment calendar, and find daily deals on fashions from
her boutique. By writing the code, I could install a camera and location
hack that would allow me access to anyone that would download the
application “Especially Sydney.” Sending off a quick email to her main
shop address, I offered my services "at a highly discounted rate." Then
waited for her to take the bait.

Panting after an incredible orgasm, she fell back into her pillows
grabbed her phone and began to check emails, and social media. “nothing,
nothing, OH that outfits cute! What is this?” "Dear Sydney's Shoppe of
beauty, I am an app developer in the area, and noticed that you did not
have an app, I would be more than willing to develop an app to help you
promote your business. Sincerely Jacob Johnson." Always wanting an app
to go with her turn key operation, her interest was peeked. Until this
point, it was just way too expensive. Reading the email once again, she
thought, "For Seventy-five dollars, it's a no brainer." But she was a
little scared of just going off an email, rattling off a return email,
she jumped out of bed and headed quickly to the shower. Throwing off her
over-sized Pink T-shirt, thinking, “I'm going to be so late."

“Ding” My phone beeped notifying me that I had received an email.
Nervously, I swiped to see that the email was from her. "Dear Jacob, I
am extremely interested in your offer. However, I would feel much more
at ease if we were to meet face to face. Please feel free to stop by the
shop sometime this week, and I will be sure to take five minutes, to
work you in my schedule. Hugs Sydney." “YESSS...” My plan may work,
after all, there is no way I can go today, that would make me look too
aggressive. I will just have to wait a day or two, swing by and sell her
my genius idea.

Several days later I swung by the shop, to give my best sales pitch, I
had the hardest time focusing just being in her presence. After dazzling
all the girls in the shop with all the bells and whistles I could add to
the app, it was easy to get Sydney to agree to let me build it. After
two days, I had the app up and running available to download on any
mobile device.

From this point forward anyone that downloaded the app would give me
access to everything on their phone. Calling Sydney; Hey Syd the app is
ready for download... “Great thank you so much, please be sure to email
me the invoice, and I will make sure you are paid” not fifteen seconds
later the first person to download the app was? You guessed it...
Sydney! Within 30 seconds I had full access to her phone.

Chapter Three

Staring in the mirror, I could tell a huge difference in my body.
Between the weight loss and hormones, I was developing a great figure. I
began yoga and light cardio to sculpt a more feminine frame. All my
dedication had rewarded me with beautiful little breast; I was now
sporting a cute little B cup.

One night I carefully broke into her shop and Installed a malware
tracker on her personal notebook. I could now view all her credit card
purchases, and email traffic. Following her online shopping habits, has
enabled me to figure out her favorite lingerie, perfume, makeup, and
hair products. While there I successfully hacked her video feed as well,
which has allowed me to pick up on her personality, body
characteristics, and voice.

Entering this new world allowed me to find out just what kind of person
she really was. Customers thought she was the perfection of a southern
belle, always happy and pleasant. Smiling and complimentary to every one
of them. However, to the girls in the shop, she was nothing more than a
tyrant! She expected a level of professionalism, and she got it.

Any girl that went against her found themselves without a job! Chair-
rent was to be paid on the first of the month, late by the fifth and if
the girls were past due, Sydney would cancel all their appointments. “In
the boutique,” it was no different the girls had to be young, energetic,
and photogenic. Daily social media fashion shows were a must in the
boutique, and if any girl didn’t do their part she was gone! Sydney only
hired girls with a thousand or more social media followers; they had to
live up to the image she wanted to create.

Chapter Four

Sydney sat in the dermatologist chair discussing Botox and fillers,
after sixty total pounds of weight loss, tummy tuck and breast implants
she was now ready to enhance her facial features. “approaching 30, I
will do anything to keep my youthful appearance.” Dr. Bob and she both
decided on two CCs of Juvederm to be placed into her upper and lower lip
enhancing her overall appearance. A few more injections in her laugh
line and forehead made for a perfect youthful look.

In the office, my changes were beginning to draw attention, so I devised
a plan and made an appointment to talk with my boss. Entering his
office, I hoped he would agree to my elaborate plan. Working from home
is the only way I could continue my feminization.

The hormones have done an amazing, under my shirt an ace bandage held my
C cup breast. Everyday keeping my hair pulled up into a man bun, I felt
that I was about to cross the line and would cause serious problems at
work. Beginning to plead my case “Mr. Lansdon, I firmly believe I could
save the company money and be more productive if I worked from home.
Surely cutting the cost of my office and secretary would save us money
on the bottom line, I firmly believe this move will prove to be
beneficial.” Leaning back in his chair... “I have had HR run the numbers
on doing what you are thinking, and data shows that you may be correct.
"To see just how it works, I will let you do a Six-month trial run.”
Beginning the first of the month, we will start the “work from home
study” and see how it works.” Doing my best to hide my excitement, and
not wanting to appear unprofessional I said: “Thank you, sir!”

Things began to move quickly from this point. With an appointment to get
my breast done and liposuction in the next two weeks, I began to
research any surgical procedure that could reduce someone’s height.
After an extensive internet search, I found an experimental surgery
performed by a doctor in Germany. His Web page said his method would cut
the patients femur and remove several vertebrae in the back thus making
he or she any height they desired. Being an experimental surgery, I was
nervous but emailed his office anyway, in no time I received a reply and
began my plans to become four feet eleven inches.

“No turning back now!” Holding a mirror between my legs as tears rolled
down my face I looked at my new man-made vagina. Just six hours earlier
I was asked if I was 100% sure, I wanted to go through with this?
Without hesitation, I said: "Yes, absolutely!" Now another step closer
to being her, my heart was happy. “Sure” it is going to be a long road
of healing, but it "so" worth it!

Chapter Five

The worst thing possible has happened! After successfully working from
home for the past six months, my boss wants to see me in his office! I
am in huge trouble; my perfectly curled blonde hair is now down my back,
I have also had several surgical procedures. There is no way I can hide
this body under by any male clothes. Without a doubt, I was about to
lose my job. Left with no choice, I emailed my boss and made an
appointment.

Waking early the next morning I showered, shaved my legs, and took time
contouring and highlighting my face. Making an extra effort in making my
eyes look dramatic, I added lash extensions to complete my makeup.
Picking out the cutest knee length floral dress, and nude pumps, My
appearance was perfect. Glancing in the mirror, “looking back” was a
beautiful woman! Not the woman I was to become, but closer than I have
ever been. “In for a penny in for a pound.” If Mr. Lansdon wanted to see
me, he was going to get the very best of the new... me.

Well, that didn’t take long! After the initial shock wore off, Mr.
Lansdon politely told me that he felt the company was going in a
different "direction" and let me go. Thankfully I was given a severance
package, it and my 401k would have to tie me over until I could take
over her life.

Chapter Six

“OMG,” I am in pain! “Nurse! Nurse!” I was encased in a full body cast
with my face bandaged. Left with nothing but time after being laid off,
I was taking my next steps to becoming “Sydney's” twin. Body shortening
surgery was first, and while being in the operating theater, I decided
to go ahead with my facial feminization. The doctor warned me that
having so much done at one time could be taxing on the body. "However,"
with nothing left to lose, I was a determined woman!

The bandages come off today, and after being completely immobile for two
weeks, I was more than ready to get on with my life. The doctor began
cutting gauze and casting material off my body. “Young lady, you have
healed very well, it looks like the surgery has been a success.” In the
next couple of days, I want you to work on getting to the bathroom on
your own, and then as your strength improves walk down the hall.”

The first thing I noticed was everything was much taller! Just getting
out of the bed, I could tell my feet hung a good foot from the floor.
Noticing as the nurse helped me out of bed, she was a giant next to me.
“How tall are you?” “Five feet six inches,” smiling she said, “your new
height will take some getting used to."

As we made our way to the bathroom, I sat down to find my feet didn’t
touch the floor there either. Well, I thought “One step closer to
completing my dream.” Looking in the mirror, I could tell my face was
nothing like before. However, with the bruising and swelling it would be
a while before I could tell how close I resembled my "muse." Making my
way back to my bed, I performed a quick internet search to find beauty
school classes back home. If I was to pull this off, I had to learn the
hair and beauty trade as well.

Chapter Seven

Looking at my pictures "Head to toe" I was the spitting image of Sydney
Summers, the bitchy hair stylist, and boutique owner. Half way through
beauty school, my skills were amazing, I had perfected my ability to
recreate modern hair styles and was a wiz at matching a color. Applying
my Sydney sweet... personality, friends came easy, and I was enjoying my
new life.

After a late dinner and gossip session with my new friends, I started my
daily research into what Sydney had been up too? A new video, three
selfies, hundreds of texts-to and from friends, just her regular daily
activity. Looking at her credit card receipts, she had also purchased
several outfits and shoes. Quickly I jumped on the shopping website and
ordered the matching "lot."

“I have to move on to the next step!” It’s time to put my disguise to
the test. Data gathered from every girl that worked in the Shop,
accessed after they downloaded the app... my plan was to make an
appearance in a couple of places where they would be. Cautiously I made
sure to watch Sydney's location as well, I "definitely" didn’t want us
showing up somewhere at the same time.

Several of the younger girls made plans to go to a club Saturday night.
The plan was set, putting a cute outfit on, I headed out. I watched from
my car; you could see they had been drinking before coming downtown.
Hopping out of the car I walked straight towards them. Once we were
within earshot, they saw me, “SYD!” one of the girls screamed! “HEY” I
rushed to kiss each one on the cheek, being so short they towered over
me. They each wore heels and looked perfectly amazing. “What are you
doing down here?" one of the girls asked. “I've been to dinner with an
old friend and was heading back to my car.” Hoping they would not ask a
lot of questions, the tall Brunette said, “We're headed to club 30, you
have to come!” Doing my best at acting like I wasn’t sure, they grabbed
my hands, and I we headed off. Tucking my perfectly styled hair behind
my ear, I smiled. “Perfect! Just perfect!”

Chapter Eight

I kept my pattern the same for the next several months. Randomly showing
up places the girls were. Birthday parties, Weddings, Girls night outs.
I covered the entire circuit, not once did anyone question if I was the
real Sydney. Always careful to never be in the pictures, I sure didn’t
want my secret out before I could put a plan in place to take over.

Could you imagine the conversations had at the shop? Confusing
conversations about fun nights with the girls, meanwhile Sydney saying;
"I wasn’t there?" and the girls saying, "Sure you were!"

My ultimate test came one-morning several weeks later. Following her
daily patterns, I knew every Saturday she would get coffee and go
antiquing with a friend. After her car pulled out, I quickly entered her
house, Quietly I found my way to the bedroom, careful not to wake “our”
husband up. Cautiously getting undresses, I slid the Pajamas on she had
worn the night before. Pulling my hair into a top knot, I climbed into
bed with our sleeping husband.

He spoke softly, “I thought you went out." “I did but, changed my mind,
because I want you!” Rolling over grabbing around my waist, he began to
kiss my ear. Pulling my shirt off, he sucked each breast as my nipples
grew rock hard. I put my hand inside his boxers and began stroking him
ever so softly up and down. Until this point, the only thing that I’ve
used on my vagina, was a few toys and a dilator.

To say a female orgasm is incredible would be like saying the Grand
Canyon is a hole. Wave after wave of intense pleasure came over me as he
fucked me in several positions. Missionary, Doggie Style, Reverse
Cowgirl, the pleasure just didn’t stop. We were both sweating, out of
breath, and spent from our love making. Falling into each other's arms,
“I had just passed the ultimate test.” He rolled over to sleep, as I
quickly eased out bed making sure to return everything as I found it.
Satisfied that I had left no trace, I bounded out the back steps.

Chapter Nine

“I must take over her life, and do it now!” Quickly I am running out of
money and with very little room left on my credit cards I had to speed
things up. Turning ideas over in my head, I logged into her phone
scanning for information of any plans. I discovered that she was making
plans to take several girls, on a cruise as an employee appreciation
gift. Right then I made up my mind what I had to do. With the last bit
of room, on my credit cards, I booked the smallest economy cabin on the
exact ship the girls were to go on.

Packing as a female is a whole lot different than packing as a male.
"Especially when you are as High maintenance, as I have become." Careful
to pack her favorite outfits along with beauty products, I couldn’t
afford to screw up now. Several suitcases and travel bags later I loaded
everything into the car and headed south.

Driving always allowed me time to think, “This was really about to
happen!” Everything I have worked so hard for is about to become a
reality!” What am I losing? “Nothing,” My mother and father had long
since passed away, with no job and no girlfriend, I was about to leave
this lonely life behind, and step into being the woman of my dreams.

Chapter Ten

Leaving my car in the ship terminal parking lot, I left the keys in the
seat there was no sense in worrying about that piece of Junk anymore.
Paying close attention to what I was wearing when boarding the ship, I
wanted to be as incognito as possible. Huge Sun glasses, oversize
hoodie, and a baseball cap; made up my ensemble, just in case, I ran
into the girls. Fortunately, I didn't see anyone I knew as I made my way
quickly to the cabin.

Hanging up all the clothes, and putting my shoes away, I set up the
little desk in my room as surveillance central. Quickly I turned on all
mics, cameras, and GPS to the girl's phones, carefully writing down
plans they had for the trip. Each night they partied, drinking and
dancing with as many guys as possible. Sleeping late every day, they
would skip breakfast, then waste the afternoon away sunbathing on the
top deck. One interesting thing I discovered about Sydney's behavior
was, for the past three nights she would slip out and stand on the top
rail of the ship. She would stand there Staring off into the darkness,
literally for no reason, just a simple reflective stare. Closing my
laptop, I decided “tomorrow night would be the night!” as soon as she
takes her evening stroll, I will be waiting!

Chapter Eleven

Watching her walk around the top deck, now was the perfect time to take
over her life. I quickly removed the scarf covering my hair, which I had
carefully put up in a fishtail braid just like hers. Then I Removed the
bulky, oversized sweater covering the exact size, and style of floral
romper she had on. Checking to make sure my stack of bracelets was all
in place; I approached her!

"Hey Syd," I said in my male voice. She gasped! She had just come face
to face with her exact twin.

She had heard several times that everyone has one or two people that
look exactly like them, but this was different! This imposter had the
"exact" same outfit and even smelled like her. Head to toe, this
doppelganger looked just like her, and she was scared!

I saw the bewilderment on her face, I spoke again in my old voice,
Remember me? “NO!" And why would I? and why do you look exactly like
me!?” "I'm Jacob... Jacob Johnson, the guy that designed the app for the
store." Sadly... there is nothing left of that man, just a carbon copy
of you.

The look of anger and uncertainty was evident on her face. Using my
Sydney's voice, “I have spent everything I have and every waking moment
to become you." “Seriously this is sick!” she yelled.

“No, no mimicking her voice, this is the greatest compliment anyone
could ever give to another person” For a moment she just stared. Every
movement of the head I mirrored her, every eye movement, hand motion I
followed her, it was almost like a game, but after years of practice, I
was a professional. You could see, she had become lost in her thoughts,
so I decided to continue the conversation.

Well, Syd, it seems we have a conundrum, there can’t be two of you
walking around... "So, with that said; I know you won't be OK with me
having your life, so it seems one of us have to go” “What do you mean?”
with fear in her voice. In my best impersonation of her, I said...there
can only be One Sydney Summers.

At that moment, I quickly grabbed her by her arm guiding her to the
rail! The loss of height and weight made me quickly realize that this
was not going to be easy. Grabbing her by her left hand, I had to get
one last piece of her to complete my plan. Doing her best to fight me, I
had to get her wedding set! Those two rings had become the object of my
desire!

I quickly got the wedding band off; putting it in my mouth, not to lose
it. I had to get the engagement ring! That three caret thing of
beauty... was all I wanted. We both fell to the ground; rolling over and
over wrestling for the one thing each of us wanted. I am sure it was a
sight to see, two beautiful women looking exactly alike flopping around
on the ground. However, in the darkness of the night, there was no one
there but the two of us. "FINALLY," the engagement ring slipped off her
hand, and I placed it on my perfectly manicured hand.

"Screaming" she was yelling for help! But with the sound of the wind and
propulsion from the ship, no one was going to come. Quickly I ran
grabbing her by her hair and the hem of her romper. We headed towards
the rail, 13 stories up on one of the biggest cruise ships in the sea,
we both looked over the rail into the darkness. Reaching down I kissed
her. "Enhanced lip to enhanced lip; then whispering in her ear. “Thank
you for your life.”

No one heard a thing. As the real Sydney hit the water, Lost forever!

Smiling, I Looked around searching the deck for any sign of struggle.
“nothing” rushing to the nearest bathroom to collect myself and check my
makeup, I Looked at the beautiful face I had created and spoke, “Hi I’m
Sydney.”

This life is all I have ever wanted, and finally, it was all mine!

Hearing Purple Rain playing in the 80's themed bar. I quickly headed
back to where the real Sydney left her entourage, half an hour ago. The
girls asked, "what took so long? Where have you been?" Faking a touch of
stomach nausea, I grabbed Sydney's signature Vodka and cranberry.
Holding it up to all the girls calling for a toast, saying “Just because
the past didn't turn out as you wanted it to, doesn't mean the future
can't be better than you ever imagined.” "CHEERS."
</pre>}}

== An hero ==
After seething too hard about being exposed as a tranny, Bubba [[an hero|killed himself]]. He was malding over a police car following him on the road, so he decided to walk out of his own car and blow his small brains out with a handgun. He has now joined the 41% of trannies who kill themselves. Bubba's family knew that the town would piss on this creeps grave, so he was cremated. However, the cremation process probably took a long time since he was approximately 300 lbs of [[fat|lard]].

== See Also ==
*{{kf|tranny-sideshows-on-social-media.33028/post-17099498|Kiwi Farms thread on Bubba's deserved downfall}}
*[[Cyber Bullying]]
*[[Twitter]]
*[[Tranny]]
*[[Loser]]
*[[Fat]]

{{Faggotry}}
{{Anheroes}}
{{Gayrepublicans}}
[[Category:People]]

{{timeline|[[ED:AOTN|Featured Article]] June 10 & 11, [[2024]]|[[Homosexuality]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

Mario

2024-08-15T22:38:13Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{perfect}}
{{Spoiler|mario's not a plumber anymore}}
{{Spoiler|The last 24 games were exactly the same [[File:Mario Animated Run.gif]]}}
[[File:Messiarioh.png|thumb|centre|[[Press_F_to_Pay_Respects|He died for our sins.]]]]
{{ib|[[File:Mario300.jpg|200px|"It's-a me, Mario!"]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>Mario<big>}}
{{Ibrow|<center>'''Race'''</center>|<center>[[Guido]]</center>}}
{{Ibrow|<center>'''Occupation'''</center>|<center>[[Unemployed|???]]</center>}}
{{Ibrow|<center>'''Developer'''</center>|<center>[[Nintendo]]</center>}}
{{Ibrow|<center>'''Designer'''</center>|<center>[[Chink|Shigeru Miyamoto]]</center>}}
{{Ibrow|<center>'''Series'''</center>|<center>''Mario''</center>}}
{{Ibrow|<center>'''Platforms'''</center>|<center>[[NES]] [[SNES]] [[Game Boy]] [[GameCube]] [[Nintendo#DS|DS]] [[Wii]] [[Nintendo#DS|3DS]] [[Nintendo#Wii_U|Wii U]] [[Nintendo Switch|Switch]]</center>}}
{{Ibrow|<center>'''Release'''</center>|<center>1985</center>}}
{{Ibend}}

'''Mario''' is the [[fat]], greasy, [[wop]] mascot for [[Nintendo]], and has starred in [[Over 9000|roughly 90%]] of their games due to Shigeru Miyamoto's insatiable shroom fetish. Mario is known throughout the world for his habit of breaking [[bricks|blocks]], collecting [[coin]]s, throwing [[pyro|fire balls]], getting high off shrooms, getting pwned by [[TMNT|turtles]] and [[guido|Goombas]], and saving [[whores]].

==[[The game]]s==

[[Image:Allah.gif|thumb|250px|More evidence that Mario is [[JEWS DID WTC|actually Jewish]].]]
[[File:Peach Koopa Reality.jpg|thumb|300px|Typical [[Winning|game over]] screen.]]

===''Donkey Kong''===

[[Lie|Totally not related to King Kong in anyway]], this game has <s>Mario</s> [[Megaman|JUMPMAN]] saving the [[Fail|helpless]] [[Missing White Womyn Syndrome|Pauline]] from [[Rape|the clutches]] of a [[ronery]] [[ape]]. [[Rapist|Although he's a very nice guy sometimes.]]

<center><youtube>K_tyOrDRpXA</youtube> </center>

===''Super Mario Bros.''===
Mario and his brother [[Weegee|Luigi]] save the Princess from a [[Blastoise|giant turtle]]. To [[AIDS|aid]] them on their quest, they have a variety of power-ups, such as [[weed|Fire Flowers]] (which cause flames to erupt from Mario's fingertips), Mushrooms (which make everything look smaller), and [[ecstasy|Super Stars]] (which cause enemies to have seizures on contact). I wish I was joking, but this is the staple of the average Mario game.

===''Super Mario Bros 2''===
Mario, Luigi, that fucking annoying mushroom-midget thing, and that whore Peach who does nothing but scream and fly around using her ability to queef at high speeds, team up to battle a [[frog]]. They [[Kill it with fire|kill it with vegetables]], but not really, because [[spoiler|IT WAS ALL A DREAM LOL!]]

It's a [[cuntpaste|cuntpasted]] version of another game called ''[[durka durka|Doki Doki]] [[jihad|Panic]]''. The original sequel was thought to be too hard for dumbass [[American]] [[Fail|gamers]] like [[you]]rself.

===Dian Shi Ma Li===

[[Image:Fortran.png|thumb|PUSH START TO RICH]]
[[File:Mario for Fingers.jpg|thumb|Of course, Mario isn't for everyone...]]
[[File:ThwompTheVotePoster.jpg|thumb|Sibling rivalry.]]

A <s>pirate game</s> shittier game compared to the main games of the series, [[Chinese|Dian Shi Ma Li]] is a spinoff featuring a Mario clone named [[4chan|Fortran]] - who happens to be the illegitimate father of Weegee and Malleo. The purpose of this game is to use [[communism|imaginary moneys]] and to [[Engrish|PUSH START TO RICH]]. Unlike the other Mario games, there is no end to this one. Ever.

It's a shame that this particularly [[awesome]] Mario game was overshadowed by another, shittier one.

===''Super Mario Bros. 3''===
Considered by the fandom to be the BEST GAME EVAR, Mario and Luigi have to save seven kings who, along with being kidnapped, had their seven [[cock|MAGIK WANDS]] stolen and were turned into [[furry|animals]] by each of the seven [[coon]]s. However, in [[at least 100|World Seven]], Mario finds out that those seven [[rape|kidnappings]] were ''all just a distraction'' so Bowser could nab [[Madeleine McCann|Princess Toad]][[shit]]. Seven seven seven.

Bowser isn't the brightest bulb in the [[box]], but he at least deserves a [[GG|Gold Star]] for effort... that is until you see what faggotty plans Bowser comes up with in the future. Then it's torn off like an old Band-Aid.

===''Super Mario World''===
The same game as ''3'', but for the [[Super Nintendo]]. The only difference is that this time you get to ride a [[dinosaur]] named Yoshi AND [[Shit nobody cares about|OMG YOU GET A CAPE INSTEAD OF A TAIL!1]]

<center><youtube>xt2uyDqbA-Q</youtube> '''Typical gameplay'''</center>
[[Image:Nigga stole my yoshi.gif|thumb|Nigga stole my Yoshi!]]
[[Image:Lolpeta.jpg|thumb|[[PETA]] haets Mario.]]
[[Image:SMW secret level.JPG|thumb|OMG SECRET LEVEL]]
[[Image:Merigol.png|thumb|Merigo]]

===''Mario Kart''===
[[Image:Mario-jeremy.jpg|thumb|Luigi finds out that his brother is actually [[Ron Jeremy]].]]
Mario and his friends skid around various tracks in cardboard go-karts and throw shit at each other for [[You win the prize|trophies]]. The original was supposed to have [[2girls1cup|two female characters and one cup]], but Nintendo decided they were too badass for more than one chick. There have been sequels, but it's the same general concept of Mario and his friends throwing shit at each other. 
<center>{{frame|[[File:Blueshell IRL.gif]]|border=#006eac|background=#003C5F|margin=auto}} </center>

===''Super Mario [[RPG]]''===
By far, the most overrated Mario game to date. The starting plot is the same as the original ''Super Mario Bros.'' game, but then this giant [[Cock|Sword]] rams into Bowser's crib and his shit goes flying everywhere and he has to hire an army of [[Mexicans]] to fix it.

So, Mario has to find some PVC glue bottles that look like bits of stars to reassemble some retarded magical dildo or some shit like that and look for the Princess. It's like ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' (it was made by the same company, go figure), but HE KNOWS ABOUT TIMED HITS which can be used for [[Massive damage|MASSIVE DAMAGE]]. This game has spawned an ungodly amount of fanboys who practically live on praying to their God for giving them this game. Let's not forget that this game is incredibly boring since Mario can only jump in the overworld and that the puzzelda were practically made <s>for</s> by three year-olds or people with [[down syndrome]]. Also the source of Geno, who is a fucking living puppet, and [[Kirby|Mallow]], but nobody cares about him.

===''Mario is Missing''===

Bowser is up to no good again, so Mario must put a stop to his [[AC/DC|dirty deeds]]!!!!111[[Oneoneone]].

What poorly-made plan has Bowser cooked up this time to steal the Princess? None. Thank God.

Instead, Bowser has set up base in the Antarctic and he plans to flood the Earth by melting it with ''hairdryers'' (yes, you read that correctly. Unless you read it as Hard Drivers, in which case, get some glasses you blind fuck). When Mario tries to stop Bowser's <s>hilarious</s> nefarious scheme, he gets his ass caught. Luigi then has to travel around the world and answer trivia questions to save his brother. It's exactly as entertaining as it sounds.

Melting Antarctica with ''hairdryers''? Bowser must be a cheap-ass nigger.

The PC version of the game gave birth to the [[meme]] known as [[Weegee]].

===''Super Mario [[69]]''===
{{quote|So long, gay Bowser!| Mario while having some [[sick fuck|gay tail fetishes]]|color=sliver|size=360%|textColor=black|textSize=150%}}
{{quote|YAHOO! YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAHOO!| Mario in every SM64 TAS ever.|color=sliver|size=360%|textColor=black|textSize=150%}}
You get a sexy letter from princess peach and she says some shit about [[Delicious cake|cake]]. At this point you should know that the cake is a lie because women can't write letters. Bowser takes over the Princess's castle (which is nothing but an [[art]] gallery) and hides [[Easter egg|Power Stars]] in various painting worlds instead of actually doing anything with them. In this AMAZING 64-BIT [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|ADVENTURE]] (which just boils down to low poly low tris shit that was on the computer for years), you run around collecting the Power Stars that, coincidentally, do nothing but let you progress, and fight Bowser [[less than 100|at least 69]] times (each battle the fucking same thing which becomes way too easy). The excellent control scheme handles like [[your mom]].

<center>{{Frame|{{fv|mariovids1|background-color: red;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>5gWtMHiZHQ4</youtube><center>'''Typical Gameplay.'''</center>|
<youtube>ZnRCWFdzxbg</youtube><center>'''Mainly Gameplay.'''</center>|
<youtube>QDkxRA7yxLY</youtube><center>'''Beating the game in 5 minutes.'''</center>|
}}|border=blue|background=red}}</center>

===''[[PAPER MARIO SCREENCAP|Paper Mario]]''===
Same as ''SMRPG'' but every character is a fucking piece of [[Paperlilies|paper]]. Bowser steals a Star Rod, gets sued by [[Kirby]] for copyright infringement, [[Charlie Sheen|wins]], and decides to use it for himself. Peach invites Mario and Luigi to a party at the castle, during which the whole castle rises up in the sky and Bowser [[pwns]] the shit out of Mario with his Star [[Penis|Rod]]. OMFG! So now Mario has to free some shit star spirits to re-own Bowser and his damn Star Rod, with the help of all his [[buttsecks|partners]]. He has several of these partners to help him out on his contrived quest, but they are hardly notable and very shitty. The series has also spawned two equally formulaic sequels of collecting seven shiny pieces of shit to kill somebody. Hoorays!

<center><youtube>FtMVWlAOabo</youtube> 
Nintendo's view on [[Nazi]]s.</center>

===''[[Super Smash Bros.]]''===
[[Image:Japanstache.gif|thumb|If you play ''Mario'' games, you instantly become a dirty Italian.]]
[[File:Mario Arrested Drugs.gif|thumb|It's a fair cop...]]
A Nintendo [[fanboy]]'s wet dream come to life. The game is basically a giant [[circlejerk]] of various Nintendo characters beating the shit out of each other. So, essentially, it's fucking [[awesome]]. It's also [[at least 100|one of the many]] games subject to [[tourneyfag]] drama.

===''Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door''===
The world is once again turned into [[shit|paper]], and now it's up to Mario to go collect OMFGJESUSCHRIST [[Moar|EVEN MORE!!!!!!!]] fucking Stars. [[Obvious|That's right, and seven of them!]] Who would've thought? But there's a twist: You can die in the overworld! OMG!!! Nintendo is really pushing the limits! There's also a fucking guy with a fishbowl for a head who wants them so he can stick em up his ass or some other form of faggotry like that. Of course, Mario also has [[Life partner|his bitches]] that join him, because apparently Mario's too [[fail]] to kick ass without help. Mario's [[bitches]], in this game, are all [[Aboriginal]]...let's see...

* [[Oompa Loompas|Goombella]], a PMS-ing, useless, excessive, and unwanted bitch.
* [[Fag|Koops]], a pussy.
* [[Fat|Flurrie]], a nudist (and attractive women are NEVER nudist, are they? No, it's always the big fat fucking [[lolcow|cows]]). Unfortunately for Mario, she wants inside his pants.
* A [[Shota|Yoshi]], whom you get to name after you get him. Acts like a [[W|total douche]] the entire game.
* [[Trap|Vivian]], a prostitute-like shadow-freaky lady who wants inside Mario's pants ([[lol wut|but in Japan she's a boy]]).
* [[Pedophile|Captain Bobbery]], an old pedophile who [[terrorist|blows himself up]], and is [[An Hero|emo]] for his dead wife. He desperately wants to die. [[PROTIP]]: This is the only character you will use in this game.
* [[Furry|Ms. Mowz]], a random convict who wants inside Mario's pants.

Yes, every [[whore|female]] (and possibly [[Gay|male]]) wants inside Mario's pants, desperately (cause Italians are [[smex]]y :3). This fact is made painfully obvious throughout the game.

===''Super Mario Sunshine''===
[[Image:Super-mario-compact-disco.jpg|thumb|Ginzo's are a lot like [[niggers]].]]
Set shortly after Mario's successful [[Islam|Jihad]] in ''Super Mario World'' where he destroys several buildings, Mario boards a plane headed to a distant tropical island where he attempts to hijack and crash it into a high-rise skyscraper. With Mario's [[Final solution|final terrorist plot]] foiled, he is captured and labeled an [[Terrorist|enemy combatant]] and sent to [[Cuba|Guantanamo Bay]]. The rest of the game is spent with Mario being [[Raped|interrogated]] by eating cock-meat sandwiches and getting asshamered by [[the Man]]. During his testimony, when asked why he intended to kill so many [[Asking for it|innocent civilians]], he stated that he "[[I did it for the lulz|did it for teh lulz!]]"

After being [[torture]]d half to death by freaks, Mario is subjected to [[at least 100]] hours of community service in the form of cleaning up the town that the residents shit all over. Mario gets a [[penis|water cannon]] and uses it to [[cum|spray]] on everything [[porn|dirty]].

Oh, yeah, and [[Yiff|Bowser]]'s in a bathtub [[Fatass|this entire time]]. And apparently he has a [[Shitstain|kid]] too.

===sUpeR MaRio GalAxY===

[[Image:Mario rape yoshi.jpg|thumb|Mario [[buttsex|ass-fucks]] Yoshi and fills him with [[cum]], as Yoshi spits it out on the other end.]]

Waggle and jump around on tiny space-rocks, following a linear path to the star, jumping around on cartoony levels to appeal to the younger crowds.

...that's it. Going from point A to point B [[over 9000|9,003]] times, occasionally stopping to collect shit or take part in <s>epic</s> tedious boss fights.

After collecting all 120 stars, what do you get? YOU GET TO DO IT ALL AGAIN! But as [[Weegee]], who jumps higher but seems to have had his shoes dunked in anal lube, which makes him slippery as fuck. What do you get after beating the game again? You get to go back to the starting level of the game and collect purple coins! Fuck yes!

If you look closely at the title look at the letters that have stars. they spell out "U R MR GAY" lol

[[Lie|Easily the best ''Mario'' game ever made]]. Because of this and the fact that ever since [[space|Neil Armstrong]] landed on the [[Moon]], every [[Americunt]] got a space [[fetish]], there's a sequel that appeals to [[at least 100]] percent of [[nostalgia]]fags and rips off every other 3D Mario game [[No|SINCE NOSTALGIA'S COOL, RIGHT?]]. Yoshi's in this one and eats radioactive berries that give it superpowers. And its cover says "YA I M R U?"

===''Mario & [[Sonic]] at the [[LOLympic Games|Special Olympics]]''===
[[Image:SpecialOlympics.jpg|thumb|left]]
Mario and his friends find some [[furfags]] and a fat scientist, and then they compete in the fucking [[Special Olympics]]. Nobody gives a shit about this game now, due to Sonic in ''Brawl''- [[wut|HOLY SHIT! THOSE BASTARDS ARE MAKING ANOTHER ONE!]]

Then they actually went on to create even [[moar]] of this shit, including ''Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games'' and ''Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games''. There's also ''Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games'', if you just needed to play as Mario or Sonic snowboarding.
{{clear}}

===''Super Paper Mario''===
Same old [[shit|story]] as the first two, except in this game, Mario gets partners that [[bisexual|aren't necessarily gay, but they aren't heterosexual either]]. This time around, he gets to team up with [[Cutter|Tippi]], [[Lesbian|Princess Peach]], [[Weegee|Luigi]], and [[Troll|Bowser]]. Together, they fight [[Glenn Beck|Count Bleck]], [[Basement Dweller|Nastasia]], [[Chuck|O'Chunks]], [[Whore|Mimi]], [[Fag|Dimentio]], and [[ZA WARUDO|Mr. L]]. It's different from the other two ''Paper Mario'' games in that there's less turnbased combat and more of the [[No U|awesome]] platforming.

Instead of Mario's, most of the [[wimmins|female characters]] go for [[emo|Count Bleck]]'s pants since he's the supreme god of all emos. Bleck also [[epic fail|doesn't succeed in destroying the universe]] and reveals the power of [[buttsecks|friendship]].

===New Super Mario Bros===
It's like every other 2D ''Mario'' game, but [[noob|new]]! There's also this [[midget|little]] version of Bowser that you fight [[OVER 9,000]] times who sounds like [[you]].

As quoted from Luigi, "Go, [[Weegee]]!"

===''[[Electric Boogaloo|New Super Mario Bros.]]''===

[[image:shitmariowii.jpg|thumb|Itsa meeeeee!]]
[[File:Mario64.jpg|thumb|Can ''you'' spot the [[Copypasta|difference]]?]]
[[File:ChuyMario.jpg|thumb|Mario as portrayed by a fabulous spic-midget.]]

So it's Mario's bitch's birthday and a HUEG [[Delicious Cake|cake]] comes in from nowhere, everyone is pleased at the arrival of the cake but then.....[[Typical|Bowser's kids]] come out of nowhere and put the whore in the cake and take off with it! It all boils down to a [[lemonparty]] of all the old 2D games, but in [[lie|3D]]!

===Super Mario 3D Land===

It's ''New Super Mario Bros'' [[Unorginality|but in 3D]]. Also tanooki suit is back for [[nostalgiafags]] which made [[PETA]] go pussy and make a [[Adobe Flash|shitty flash game]] based on it.

===''[[Jew|New Super Mario Bros. 2]]''===
Same exact thing as the first, but with lots moar coins. After Mario gets 1,000,000 coins in total, being the self-centered asshole he is, spends it on a GIANT GOLDEN STATUE OF HIMSELF that doesn't do shit.

===''Mario & Luigi: [[Ghey|Superstar]] Saga''===
This time, instead of the Mushroom Kingdom being in peril, the [[Beaners|Beanish]] people of the [[Mexico|BeanBean Kingdom]] ask [[Wops|Mario and Luigi]] to stop [[Batshit Insane|Cackletta]], [[Nerd|Fawful]], and the Koopalings from terrorizing the BeanBean Kingdom. [[Shit nobody cares about|In this game, the battle system is exactly the same as Paper Mario, except you can do combos and Bros Attacks]].
Some say [[pigs|Americans]] butchered the localized version by fucking up the monsters' stats. The Koopa Kids' HP are greatly reduced, making each of them able to be [[wat|killed in 1 hit]], while the final boss's HP is doubled to drag out a boring ass fight even further.

It has sequels on the [[DS]] that include [[time]] travel and [[vore]] and [[pedophile|baby]] sockpuppets of the two. [[O RLY|Ya, rly]].

===''Mario & Luigi: [[Incest|Partners in Time]]''===
Mario and Luigi go back and forth in time to [[Baby fuck|have sex with their baby selves]] while [[Missing_white_woman_syndrome|Peach is yet again kidnapped]], this time by the [[mushroom|shroobs]], who are purple alien toads that have evil expression on their face and talk in [[l33t]] speak. You jerk around doing utter bullshit and find Peach after weeks of gameplay. You battle Princess Shroob to find out she's got a sister who was locked away in [[shit nobody cares about]] and rape her shit in a battle that lasts [[srsly|an hour]].

===''Mario & Luigi: Bowser's [[vore|Inside]] Story'' ([[Inflation]]: [[The Game]])===
Fawful returns, [[butthurt]] over Cackletta's death in the first game, and plots to take over the Mushroom Kingdom by giving everyone [[Mcdonalds|weird mushrooms]] that [[Inflation_art|bloat]] them up to [[fat|immobility]]. Then he feeds Bowser a "Vacuum Shroom" that makes him [[vore|inhale]] the princess and the Mario brothers. The rest of the game is about tending to Bowser's [[butthurt]] for Fawful turning his castle into a [[gay bar|theater]] and you have to do shit with Mario and Luigi like going into Bowser's ass to restore his life by anally ravaging him. Srsly.

There's also a moment where Boos [[Inflation art|force feed]] Bowser until [[Fat furry|immobility]]. [[NO|Yeah]].

===''Mario & Luigi: [[Wet dream|Dream]] Team''===
[[File:Mario and Luigi Dream Team.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Gay.]]
I hope you love learning stuff, cause this piece of shit is roughly [[TL;DR|75% tutorials]], 25% gameplay. Mario and Luigi go on a vacation to [[Body Pillow|Pi'illo]] Island, where it is discovered that Luigi can open [[Glory holes|portals]] into his retarded dreams whenever he decides to be a lazy fuck. Mario travels back and forth between [[IRL|reality]] and the [[OTI|Dream world]] in order to mentally scar his brother with imagery of his 2-inch cock. Hell, we even get one of the characters cosplaying as a carrot attempting to [[Pedo|lure]] a rabbit to suck his dick. No jokes.

Some emo fag named Antasma decides to [[Buttbuddies|partner-up]] with Bowser for great lulz, only for Bowser to be a dick and betray him. Some other weird shit happens, Bowser obtains the [[Jewgold|Dream Stone]] and becomes [[God]] but the Mario brothers inevitably fuck him up the ass and end up [[And nothing of value was lost|destroying the Dream Stone]]. No one gives a shit, and then the game ends.

===''Mario & Luigi: [[Drawn Sex|Paper Jam]]''===
All of the characters in the Mario series have sex with their paper counterparts which fall out of one of Peach's [[Fifty Shades of Grey|dirty book]]s hidden in her library. The plot for this game was likely conceived by a bunch of closeted [[DeviantART|DeviantFags]].

TL;DR Version - Crossover of the two shittiest Mario series in existence.

===''Super Mario [[Copypasta|D.I.Y.]]''===
Also known as ''Super Mario Maker'', a game where Nintendo basically said "Fuck it, we'll let the players make their own version of ''New Super Mario Bros.'' since we've made the same goddamn game like fifty times already!" The game released on [[9/11]]!

===''Super Mario Odyssey''===
First Mario game for the [[Nintendo Switch]]. In this game, Bowser goes through with his plan to marry and raep Peach and it's up to you to indulge in a worthless collectathon. That's all you do. Mario can explore new kingdoms to collect moons, such as a Spic inspired sand world and a city that looks worse than GTA4. After eating Bowser's ass for the billionth time, the game allows you to collect some more moons so you can get some special shit afterwards. Did I mention that there's like [[OVER 9000|800]] moons? You can also refight the same shitty bosses but with low gravity. BUT IT'S AN AMAZING GAME SINCE IT'S LIKE 64!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!one!!

===''Super Mario [[Copypasta|D.I.Y. 2]]''===

Also known as ''Super Mario Maker 2'', a game where Nintendo basically said "Fuck it, we'll let the players make their own version of ''New Super Mario Bros.'' since we've made the same goddamn game like fifty times already!" again with more content. They released an update which lets you create your own games as Nintendo are too lazy to come up with original ideas.

===Other games===

[[File:Fat Princess Peach.jpg|right|185px]]

Keep in mind, the above mentioned games only make up a small percentage of the games in which Mario has starred. Mario has also been featured in [[at least 100]] other games (no exaggeration), all of which can be viewed [[Shit nobody cares about|here]].

{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|mariovids2|background-color: red; text-align: center; font-weight: bold|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>BvhsPHnTac4</youtube> German Mario Gameplay.
|<youtube>2hzQpGamC9U</youtube> The Shocking Truth.
|<youtube>Pr1ju6GoCsY</youtube> Mario Teaches Sex-Ed.
|<youtube>l1kZ9_W6hH4</youtube> Invents the Tossed Salad.
|<youtube>mZsB7LxgCek</youtube> Super Mario 3D Land}}|border=blue|background=red}}
}}

==Furry==

[[File:8050a92e186900334c1206a1c63ea2ab.jpg|thumb|Awwwright!]]

[[Last Thursday|In 1990]], the public was beginning to suspect Mario of being part of the [[furry]] community. Mario denied these claims when asked. These suspicions were brought on by the fact that Mario was seen dressing up like a [[Pun Raccoon|raccoon]]. Mario stated that he wore this costume not because he was a furry, but because he liked being able to float around and get more coins. However, suspicions were further aroused when he was also caught dressing up like a tanuki and later, a frog. When asked, Mario just stated that he was sort of a furry, but only in that he was fascinated by those creatures and was not aroused by them at all. These rumors went away after a while, but then they were brought back and confirmed when an anonymous source noticed that Yoshi, the dinosaur that Mario rode around, wore shoes. A picture was then found of someone who followed Yoshi to his house and discovered that Yoshi was actually a fat furry dressing up like a dinosaur. Mario said that he didn't realize that he was riding another man, but eventually Peach came out and stated to the press that Mario really was a furry. Mario then [[bawww|cried]] and threatened to [[an hero|kill himself]]. After disappearing for many years, Mario returned to the public accepting that he was a furry. Mario has since been seen at many furry conventions dressed as a penguin with overalls. He has yet been banned from [[Deviantart]] 4 times.

==[[THIS IS SPARTA|IT'S WAR]]!==
[[File:Mario Boo Lovers.jpg|thumb|Trouble in paradise?]]
During the [[90s]], Mario gained competiton as Sega introduced their newest mascot, [[Sonic]] the Hedgehog. [[Shit no one cares about|The game proved to be popular and resulted in many lulz. Nintendo had the SNES and Sega had the Genesis, basement dwellers and fanboys on both sides droped their cum stained controllers to bitch at which was better]]. This soon became the [[Flame Wars|Great Console Wars of the 90's]]. This was a [[war]] that was [[over 9000]] better than [[WW2]]. The stage is set between two companies in a [[shoop da woop]] of [[oil]], [[period|blood]], 16-bit, name calling, plastic, shrapnel, [[fire]], [[The Ring|rings]], [[money|coins]], [[Client 9|sex scandals]], extortion, and [[jizz]]. Yet in 2001, SEGA found themselves kissing Nintendo's ass after they dropped out of the hardware business due to a little scuffle with SONY. Sonic is now played on all platforms, shamed by his transition to multi platform. In the end, Sonic never got his revenge while being invited to participate in and confirmed for ''Super Smash Bros. Brawl'' either. With his venture to Nintendo, Sonic has got the shit beaten out of him by Mario's fat wop dego ass, while his rings got stolen, then Mario [[murder|killed Luigi]], and has had [[threesome]]s with Peach and Daisy possibly getting them [[pregnant]]. Sonic now plays with Tails's penis daily all for the [[lulz]] and the cost of never making a good game again.

==Child Soldiers - The Shocking (link [[No]]) Story of the Koopalings==
The Koopalings who were the original 7 sons of Bower (link [[occult]] and [[Satan]]), including the new child of Bowser known as Bowser Jr. (link baby). Teaching society to send their children to die in War since 1987 and especially the upcoming WW3 than hate children, about the time of the release of Super Mario Bros. 3. (link [[The Hunger Games]]) Bellow is [[shit nobody cares about]].

==Mario [[Wiggers|niggers]]==
<center>'''Mario is from [[Jew York|New York]] and that automatically makes him a [[Jew|Nigger]]'''</center>

{{center|
{{frame|{{fv|mariovids3|background-color: red;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>bEHNHhF-HR4</youtube>
|<youtube>44MyrH4jwOQ</youtube>}}|border=blue|background=red}}
}}

==Galleries==

{{Collapsegallery|Mario|marioPix|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Mario coma.jpg
File:Toilet Mario.jpg
File:Mushroom Kingdom ER.jpg
File:Mario cake.jpg
File:Super Mario Sunshine Link.gif
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Chronic Masturbation Mario.jpg
File:Damsel Envy.jpg
File:Super Mario Sunshine I Hate The Blacks.jpg
File:16-bit Peach strip.jpg
File:Cheating princess.jpg
File:Drug Psychopath Mario.PNG
File:Facehugger Mario.jpg
File:Famous Pranks of the Mushroom Kingdom.jpg
File:Gambling Mario.jpg
File:Hospital Mario.jpg
File:Koopa.jpg
File:Luigi Cat.jpg
File:Mario Exorcism.jpg
File:Mario gutting Raccoon.jpg
File:Mario Hadouken.jpg
File:Mario half-flag.png
File:Mario Pacman.jpg
File:Mario pit 1.jpg
File:Mario pit 2.jpg
File:Mario power-ups.jpg
File:Mario prison suicide.jpg
File:Mario Skull.jpg
File:Mario bros swat.png
File:Mario-chu.png
File:Sub Zero 2.jpg
File:Super Mario Sisters.jpg
File:TMNT Mario 2.jpg
File:Mushroom Kingdom 5 Day Forecast.PNG
File:Mushroom Kombat.jpg
File:Peach has been kidnapped.jpg
File:Question box.PNG
File:Quid Pro Quo.jpg
File:Shibari Mario.jpg
File:Street Fighter Bros.jpg
File:Goatse Acrobatics.gif|How to access world 8
File:Sonic Mario.jpg
File:Vintage Mario.jpg
File:Wanted Mario Bros.jpg
File:Why doesn't anyone take Bowser seriously.jpg
File:World 1-4.png
File:Yoshi's fortune.PNG
File:Zombie Peach.jpg
File:Mario Choices.jpg
File:Wanna buy some shrooms.png
File:Smoking Mario.jpg
File:Mario rage.jpg
File:Yoshi fetus.jpg
File:TMNT Mario.jpg
File:Blue turtle.png
File:Lord Mario.jpg
File:Getting real tired of your shit, Mario.jpg
File:Mario can sculpture.jpg
File:Blue turtle shell.gif
File:Bowser IRL.jpg
File:Muscle Mario.gif
File:Zombie Mario.jpg
File:Mario Dollar.PNG|[[Lioncash|Mariocash]]
File:Truefaces.png|This is what Mario and Bowser actually look like.
File:Mario-imgonnarapeyou.jpg|Don't play this game!
File:daisymariosoap.PNG|Play this game instead! (But keep in mind that Daisy [http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/2125 will also rape you to death.)]
File:awesome_mario.jpg|[[AWESOME]]
File:Mario Shrooms.jpg
File:Mariom.jpg|Mario's Mexican brother, Celio.
File:Awesome_Mario_is_Awesome.jpg|He will drink your pee
File:Jesuit.jpg|Super Mario Christ
File:Joyridestudiosyoshifigure.jpg‎ |Making Yoshi his bitch once again
File:Marioandgoomba.jpg|Mario, doing what he does best.
File:Mariorabbit.jpg|Mario at the peak of stardom.
File:Mario trollface.jpg|Mario and company show some emotions.
File:MOARIO.jpg|[[MOAR]] MARIO PLZTHNX.
File:Meximario.jpg|At one time, Mario was just an American immigrant.
File:Super Mario hardcore.jpg|Mario goes to San Francisco.
File:Infantmario.jpg|A star is born.
File:Miyamoto.jpg|FLAWLESS VICTORY
File:Mariocrap6.png|The exciting story of a typical ''Mario'' game.
File:BetrayedByMario.jpg|Mario betrays his "[[friends]]" constantly.
File:Sexchangemario1.JPG|An artist's impression of what Mario looked like during these days, edited from a [[misleading thumbnail]].
File:SuperMarioMoonshine.jpg|Mario in his latest hit game, ''Mario Moonshine''.
File:Mariotwins.jpg|[[Incest|Brotherly love.]]
File:BlackMarioWTF.gif|At one point, Mario was a black person.
File:Mariocomic.jpg|Mario becomes [[an hero]].
File:Mariodetail.jpg|''Super Mario Bros.'' in all its graphic detail.
File:Mario Real 2.jpg|[[Drugs|I'M TRIPPIN BALLS, MAN!]]
File:Mario Real 3.jpg|What the game would look like [[IRL]].
File:Sadmario.jpg|Mario gets no play.
File:Lolwutmario.gif|[[LOL WUT]]
File:Mario_1.jpg|Mario before 10 A.M.
File:Triforcifixion.jpg|The Triforcifixion, when Mario died for all mankind.
File:SUPERMARIOCAEK.jpg|IT IS [[Delicious Cake|DELICIOUS CAEK]]. YOU MUST EAT IT.
File:papermarioboobies.jpg|An example of ''Mario'' games' [[serious]] dialogue.
File:papermariotor.jpg|Not only is Mario against Torrent downloading, he is also [[an hero]].
File:Luigi turntable.jpg|[[Weegee]]'s bout to lay down some hot beats.
File:Delicious Mario Cake.png|[[Delicious Cake|IT IS DELICIOUS CAEK]]
File:Mario can't be hurt.jpg|AHAHAHAHAHAHA
File:Mario fanart 1.png|Somehow, the Internet manages to make everything gayer.
File:Mario fanart 2.jpg|Who the fuck takes their time to draw this shit?
File:Gow bettar than gay.jpg|NERD RAAAAAAAAGE
File:1998jeepwrangleryoshi.jpg|Making money from whoring is fun.
File:MarioGTFO.gif|GTFO
File:DK Barrel Roll.gif|MS Paint Relationship Comic depicting [[Barrel Roll]].
File:MARIOISACOMMUNIST.png|Mario in his [[Communist|true form]].
File:Fat mario head.png|Again, Mario is fucking fat.
File:Chuckle Brothers.jpg|''Super Mario Bros.'' [[IRL]]
File:Mario Cat.gif|[[Nyancat|Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario]] ''etc''...
File:Mario_Boo_Me_Gusta.gif|[[Me Gusta|Peek-a-boo]]!
File:Tonight, I'm player one.jpeg
File:Mario Fuck.gif
File:Mario Beer.jpg
File:Mario Cunning Plan.jpg
File:Pimpin Mario bros.png
File:Mario Hardcore.jpg
File:Smwqblock.gif
File:How to draw & paint the nude.PNG
File:No_Pipes.png
File:Mario1.png|[[Goodnight Sweet Prince|Game over]]
File:SupaMarioirl.jpg|[[IRL|Reality Edition]]
File:Thank_You_Mario.gif
File:Luigi nose lick.jpeg
File:Mushroom Yoshi.jpg
File:Do not let Doctor Mario touch your genitals.jpg
File:Mario_-_Fat_Angry_Italian.jpg
File:Mario_-_Pseudo_Realistic.jpg
File:Mushroom_Girl.jpg
File:Mario_&_Sonic_-_Comics_-_Certainly_Faster.jpg
File:Mario_-_Fails_To_Deliver.jpg
File:Mario_-_Birdo.jpg|Ready for your blow job?
File:Middleeast Mario.jpg
File:Mario book.gif
File:ShigeruMiyamoto.gif|Mario's creator
File:SuperMario.jpg
File:MARIO KART.gif
File:Daisyjr.jpg
File:Mariolol.jpg
File:Mario fursuit1.png
File:Worryed for you.png
File:MariokartNascar.jpg
File:warioteste.jpg
File:luigiboner.jpg
File:Yoshis Island.gif
File:Mariocalypse.gif
</gallery>|border=blue}} 

{{Collapsegallery|Shitty fanart|Fanart|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Super_ScatMario_1.png
File:Super_ScatMario_2.png
File:Super_ScatMario_3.png
File:Super_ScatMario_4.png
File:Super_ScatMario_5.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Super_ScatMario_6.png
File:Mariocrap1.png|unfunny the first time
File:Mariocrap2.jpg|..and again..
File:Mariocrap3.png
File:Mariocrap4.png
File:Mariocrap5.png
File:Mariocrap6.png
File:Mariocrap7.png
File:Mariocrap8.png
File:Mariocrap9.png
File:Mariocrap10.png
File:Mario11.jpg
File:Mario12.jpg
File:Mario13.jpg
File:Mario14.png
File:Mario15.gif
File:Starman.gif
File:Shittymariodrawing.png
File:Mariosausage.png|Piranha Plant wants Mario's italian sausage!
File:Marioshirt.png|Mario shows off his fashion sense.
File:Colourbowser.jpg|Bowser as seen in ''Super Paper Mario''.
File:Tubbymario.jpg|Mario is fucking fat.
File:Mayro.png
File:Mario what the hell.png
File:Mario hurrr 64.jpg
File:Bandit Dream.png
</gallery>|border=blue}}

{{Collapsegallery|[[Erection|1-Up]]|1up|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Zelda vs Peach.jpg
File:Reiq Peach.jpg
File:Peach stripper.jpg
File:Super Princess Peach.jpg
File:Mario Princesses.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Heaven in her bed version 3 by SigurdHosenfeld.jpg
File:28926 peach07 123 586lo.jpg
File:Morepeachpron.jpg
File:Princess Peach (Super Mario Bros.) drawn by Konpeto.jpg
File:Mario where's that cake.jpg
File:Mario-boner.jpg|He's gonna fix your plumbing!
File:Mariots.gif|[[Goatse|Goatse 64]]
File:Mario 63.jpg|[[Rule 63]]
File:It's-a so real.png
File:Tanuki suit.PNG
File:Zero Suit Peach.jpg
File:BDSM Mario.jpg
File:Birth of Venus Peach.jpg
File:BowserandPeach Caught.jpg|O SHI-
File:Mario Princess futanari.jpeg
File:Mario 1up.gif
File:Hi Im Daisy rape.jpg|Raep
File:Marioluigipeach34.jpg|Luigi wants some peaches too
File:This hurts me as much as it hurts you.jpg|Wait, [[Is This Battletoads|anyone remember this game]]?
File:Peach.png
File:Mariko2.jpg|Yep, at fucking last, Mario [[Rape|raeped]] Peach.
File:Lolololo.jpg
File:Bowserapesyoshi.jpg
File:A Toad is born.jpg|[[How is babby formed?|How is Toadd formed? How Peach get pragnent?]]
File:PrincessPeachparty.jpg|The Mushroom Kingdom has many exotic creatures.
File:Hi I'm Daisy rape Yoshi.jpg|Moar Raep
File:28841 peach03 123 414lo.jpg
File:MarioRelaxing.jpg|Mario taking a break.
File:DaisyPron.jpg
File:Kellywhoring8.jpg|Failed because [[Kelly_Kalogerakos|she]] has smaller boobs than Mario.
File:Kellywhoring13.jpg|And even close-up they don't get any bigger.
File:Princess peach yay.jpg
File:OVER900034.png
File:Rosaline figurine.jpg
File:Paper Mario (Vivian).jpeg
File:Princess Peach vase.jpeg
File:Marioporn.jpg
File:Princess Peach Demotivator.jpg|I bet you thought Mario was saving her to be a nice guy.
File:Misstar.jpg
File:Peachhentai.jpg
File:Daisy and Bowser Jr.png
File:Luigi shit.jpg
File:Peach vs Goomba by decendingskulls.jpg
File:Did Somebody Call A Plumber.jpg
File:1187234030.nek0gami dn letsa-blow.jpg
</gallery>|border=blue}} 

{{Collapsegallery|Porn comic|1up2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Super_Marao_Bros_01.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_02.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_03.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_04.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_05.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Super_Marao_Bros_06.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_07.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_08.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_09.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_10.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_11.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_12.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_13.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_14.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_15.jpg
File:Super_Marao_Bros_16.jpg
</gallery>|border=blue}}
<center>more images: [http://chan.sankakucomplex.com/?tags=Mario][http://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=mario][http://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=mario]</center>

==See also==

[[Image:Realmario.jpg|220px|thumb|He knows where you sleep...]]

*[[345rv5]]
*[[Braid]]
*[[Digibutter.nerr]]
*[[gallantmon8]]
*[[Hotel Mario]]
*[[Mario Fan Games Galaxy]]
*''[[Mario Paint]]''
*[[Moviebob]]
*[[Mushroom Kingdom Fusion]]
*[[Nintendo]]
*''[[Pikmin]]''
*[[Ron Jeremy]]
*[[Sonic]]
*[[Waluigis-girl]]
*[[Wario]]
*[[Weegee]]

==External links==
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/mario.html Mario on Newgrounds]- MARRYO VERSUS VEGETA OMGGG
*[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2768-Zero-Punctuation-Super-Mario-Galaxy ''Zero Punctuation'' review of ''Super Mario Galaxy'']

{{Nintendo}}
{{Gaming}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 6, [[2006]]|[[Pop parenting]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Stumbleupon]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article June 15, [[2006]]|[[Andrewpants]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Pizza and beer]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article June 20, [[2024]]|[[NOBODY SET ANYTHING, LAZY FAGGOTS]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[TBA]]}}

Sanctioned Suicide

2024-08-15T22:37:54Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{Rainbowsmall|LOL JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY}}
[[File:SanctionedSuicide.png|right|200px]]

'''Sanctioned Suicide''' (a.k.a. '''[[CamelCase|SanctionedSuicide]]''', '''[[SS]]''' or '''[[Sasuke|SaSu]]''') is a [[forum|friendly online community]] that exists to offer [[Kill yourself|extremely helpful advice]] to [[Retards|people]] who are suffering from [[Emo|clinical depression]] and/or [[suicidal|suicidal ideations]]. The community associated with SS can be traced as far back as 1990 with the creation of the [[Usenet]] group '''alt.suicide.holiday''' (a.k.a. '''ASH'''). Following the decline of Usenet, the ASH community moved to the [[subreddit]] '''r/SanctionedSuicide''' which operated from [[2013]] until it was [[banned]] in [[2018]]. Following the ban from reddit, several [[incels]] decided to set up some XenForo installations and start sanctionedsuicide.com (along with incels.is)

As of [[2023]], Sanctioned Suicide has been linked to [[at least 100]] suicides all around [[ZA WARUDO|the world]]. It has also been used by numerous [[sick fucks]] who [[Fap|get off]] on convincing people to kill themselves. And yes, we do not fail to see the hilarious [[irony]] in the [[fact]] that a community that's dedicated to [[An hero|the act of killing yourself]] has been around for {{Age|1990|11|21}} fucking years and has outlasted even [[AlGore|some beloved users of Encyclopædia Dramatica]].

==alt.suicide.holiday==

Some users of SS have traced the site's origins back as far as November 21, 1990, with the creation of the [[Usenet]] group '''alt.suicide.holiday''' or '''ASH'''. Other related Usenet groups included '''alt.suicide.methods''' ('''ASM''') and '''alt.suicide.bus.stop''' ('''ASBS''').

{{squote|Hey, fellow ASHers! Listen up, because this is the closest thing to
A Note that I'm going to write.

After a lot of research and a lot more thought, I've gone with the KCN
dissolved in cold water. I'm not quite sure about the volume of 1.5g
of KCN, so I'm erring on the high side. Yes, I know I'm subject to
"throat irritation" if I do that... sometimes, ya just gotta live on
the edge. :)

I'm expecting unconsciousness after about 1 minute. I've skipped all
meals for the past 24 hours to make sure I've got a nice acidic
stomach (HCl + KCN -> KCl + HCN(g), I hope), and when my stomach
started rumbling embarrassingly, I quaffed a grapefruit juice (most
acidic thing I could think of offhand).

I'll be going with the "plastic bag and rubber band" backup system...
a nice big garbage bag, so I won't be uncomfortable for that minute of
consciousness.

The computer is programmed to wait 36 hours and then phone 911, to
prevent any of my friends discovering the body. This news message is
also on a delay timer, just in case there are any closet
interventionists lurking.

If this DOESN'T work, I'll try to get someone to post that tidbit to
a.s.h. so none of you ends up making the same mistake.

Oh, a final note... in case the group gets any flak about this, let it
be known that a.s.h. was not a promoting cause in my suicide. Had it
not been for this group, my best plan to date was to get pissed drunk
and dive off the roof of my apartment building (yes, I have a key). I
think this is cleaner all 'round.

Have a nice life!

Dave|David Q. Conibear, becoming the OG of suicide}}

==The Chronicles of William Melchert-Dinkel==

[[File:MelchertDinkel.png|thumb|300px|right|DAT FIVEHEAD]]

'''William Francis Melchert-Dinkel''' (a.k.a. '''falcongirl''', '''Li Dao''' and '''Cami D''') is a middle-aged former nurse who was active on ASH during the [[2000s]]. Dinkleberry would use multiple [[sockpuppet]] accounts and [[Catfish|pose as a hot young girl]] in order to slip into the <s>DMs</s> [[AIM]] of suicidal ashers and give them tips on the most effective ways to hang yourself.

Dinkleberg's known victims are 32-year-old [[Britfag]] '''Mark Drybrough''' and 18-year-old [[Canada|Canuckistani]] '''Nadia Mena Suzanne Kajouji''', although by his own admission there were at least three other [[anonymous]] users who he may have successfully coaxed into necking themselves.

{{quote|They were going to die anyway.|Melchert-Dingus, on why he jacked off to ppl hanging themselves}}

{{clear}}

==r/SanctionedSuicide==

On March 3, [[2013]], [[redditor]] '''deadman5551''' started the subreddit '''r/SanctionedSuicide''' with the valiant intention of making other redditors [[An hero|kill themselves]].

==SanctionedSuicide.com==

Sanctioned Suicide was founded on March 18, [[2018]], by '''Marquis''' ([[Powerword]]: '''[[Negro|Lamarcus]] [[Irony|Small]]''' of Huntsville, [[Alabama]]) and '''Serge''' ([[Powerword]]: '''[[Spic|Diego Joaquín Galante]]''' of [[Uruguay|U-R-Gay]]), a pair of [[Fugly|aesthetically-challenged]] [[Incels|young men]] who desperately long for [[death]] but are too [[pussy]] to actually [[DO IT FAGGOT|go through with it]].

After Lamarcus Extralarge was [[doxed]] by the [[New York Times|Jew York Slimes]] in [[2021]], he quickly decided to pull an [[Encyclopædia Dramatica]] and handed control of the site over to a [[weeaboo]] [[tranny]] named '''RainAndSadness'''.

==Common Threads on SS==

*Goodbye
*About to CTB
*[[Facepalm|Has anyone used X method for committing suicide?]]
*I just tested the SN I bought from X user
*I hate being trans
*I hate being fat
*I hate being a virgin
*I hate being a nigger
*I hate being ugly
*I hate being bald
*I hate being named [[Brian Zaiger]]

==SS Lingo==

===Catch the Bus===

:'''Catch the Bus''' or '''CTB''' ([[Foot Fetish#CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)|not to be confused with CBT or Cock and Ball Torture]]) is SS' go-to euphemism for committing [[suicide]]. The term exemplifies SS members' belief that death is a journey and that they will be reborn as anime catgirls in their next life. Some members of SS take the term too [[literally]] and end up traumatizing elementary schoolers by jumping in front of their school bus.

===Sodium Nitrite===

:'''Sodium Nitrite''' (Chemical formula: NaNO2) or '''SN''' is a chemical that is commonly used for curing meat, it is also SS' go-to chemical for "painlessly" committing suicide. Sodium Nitrate should not be confused with '''Sodium Nitrate''' (Chemical formula: NaNO3) or '''Sodium Nitride''' (Chemical formula: Na3N), which are completely different chemicals that'll still probably fucking kill you if you take enough. Actually, on second thought, just take huge dose of Sodium fucking anything and it should work just fine [[IDGAF]] just [[KYS]].

:Despite what SS members say, suicide by Sodium Nitrite will likely not be painless and you will likely suffer horribly if you attempt to kill yourself by overdosing on curing salt.

:Symptoms of Sodium Nitrite poisoning include:

:*[[George Floyd|Shortness of breath]]
:*Headaches
:*[[Puke|Nausea]]
:*Fatigue
:*[[Doki Doki|Rapid heart rate]]
:*[[Bill Cosby|Loss of consciousness]]
:*Confusion
:*Dizziness
:*A blue color on the skin and lips
:*[[Diarrhea]]
:*Getting an [[ED]] article written about you

===Nembutal===

:'''Nembutal''' (Chemical formula: C11H18N2O3) or '''N''' is a drug more commonly known as '''Pentobarbital'''. Pentobarbital is notable for being used in [[Capital punishment|lethal injections]].

===Carbon Monoxide===

:'''Carbon Monoxide''' or '''CO''' is a deadly gas that's known for [[Smoke detector with replaceable battery|killing niggaz in Chicago]].

===Tagamet===

:'''Tagamet''' or '''Cimetidine''' is a drug that reduces gastric acid. SS users like to take this before Sodium Nitrite so they don't [[vomit]] their guts out and fail at dying.

==Sanctioned Suicide Kill Count==

# '''Aaron Jones'''
# '''Abhishek Saxena''', 45 - stupid [[India|pajeet]] [[NEET]] who also poisoned his 42-year-old wife and two 14-year-old twins
## '''Advit Saxena''', 14
## '''Ananya Saxena''', 14
## '''Preeti Saxena''', 42
# '''Alexander Chatfield Burns''', 34 - scam artist who took SN prior to sentencing
# '''Alex Pazienza''', 22
# '''Anthony Jones''', 17
# '''Antonija Šakić''', 35 - killed herself after being [[lol|doxed by the mom of another SS victim]]
# '''Ashtyn Prosser''', 19
# '''Bennett Hunter Brown''', 17
# '''Beth Matthews''', 26 - mental health blogger lol
# '''Brett Stevens''', 28 - autistic
# '''Callie Lewis''', 24
# '''Carlynn De Joya''', 28 - [[Nonbinary|enby]] degenerate
# '''Daniel Dal Canto''', 16 - was tired of [[COVID|Chinkypox]] and butthurt at his parents
# '''Daniel Long''', 15
# '''David Q. Conibear''', 27 - first recorded suicide on alt.suicide.holiday, used potassium cyanide
# '''Edward Leclair''', 57 - [[pedo]] who killed himself with SN in courtroom
# '''Emma Cave''', 30 - was engaged to a fossilized man over twice her age
# '''Ethan McCarthy''', 17
# '''Fabio Gianfreda''', 19
# '''Gary Cooper''', 41
# '''Imogen Nunn''', 25 - Britfag TikToker named "Deaf Immy"
# '''Jaden'''
# '''Jason Thompson''', 49
# '''Jay Barr'''
# '''Joe Nihill''', 23
# '''Josh Hendy''', 21
# '''Juan Carlos Garcia''', 20
# '''Junior Wilson''', 18
# '''Katherine Joanna Vanes''', 24 - [[weeb]] [[cosplayer]] with [[ADHD]]
# '''Kristine Jónsson''', 16
# '''Louis Gillies''', 36 - alt.suicide.holiday user who hanged himself after being charged with aiding Michael Gooden's suicide
# '''Laura Campbell'''
# '''Lindsey Pearlman''', 43 - actress who was in an episode of [[Jussie Smollett|Faggot Empire Nigger]]
# '''Mark Drybrough''', 32 - alt.suicide.holiday user who was [[catfish|catfished]] by William Francis Melchert-Dinkel
# '''Matteo Cecconi''', 18
# '''Matteo''', 17 - decapitated by a train
# '''Matthew Mindler''', 19 - former child actor who used sodium nitrate instead of sodium nitrite because he's a stupid idiot
# '''Matthew van Antwerpen''', 17
# '''Michael Dunham''', 38
# '''Michael Gooden''', 35 - alt.suicide.holiday user who jumped off a cliff while Louis Gillies pussed out
# '''Mikael Tracey Scott''', 27
# '''Miles Smith''', 31
# '''Nadia Mena Suzanne Kajouji''', 18 - alt.suicide.holiday user who was [[catfish|catfished]] by William Francis Melchert-Dinkel
# '''Neha Raju''', 23
# '''Noelle Skyler Ramirez''', 20 - tranny
# '''Riley Blaik Allred''', 23
# '''Roberta Barbos''', 22 - necked herself because of a breakup lololol
# '''Rose Paterson''', 63 - wife of a British MP.
# '''Shawn Alexandra Shatto''', 25
# '''Shreya Reddy''' - took SN because she couldn't find a husband lmfao
# '''Stephen Mitchell Jr.''', 21
# '''Suzanne Gonzales''', 19 - alt.suicide.holiday user
# '''Tom Parfett''', 22
# '''Tom Windsor''', 29
# '''Tyler Schmidt''', 15
# '''William Gregory Dennis''', 23
# '''Wira Wahyudi Sinuraya''', 21 - retard used sodium nitrate
# '''Zoe Lyalle''', 18 - autistic

''This list is incomplete, [[you]] can help by [[Kill yourself|expanding it]].

===Adding Yourself to the List===
[[File:HowToDie.jpg|center]]

==See Also==
* [[An hero]]
* [[Kill yourself]]
* [[DO IT FAGGOT]]
* [[Dying alone]]

{{An Heroes}}
{{Dying Alone}}
{{Usenet}}
{{timeline|Featured article December 17 - 18, [[2023]]|[[Jazz Jennings]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Bbb23]]}}

Mexico

2024-08-15T22:36:57Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{achtung| GOT PERMABANNED BY THE NEW [[Donald Trump|US PRESIDENT]] LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL}}

{{Rainbowpyramid|¡VIVA MÉXICO, CABRONES!}} 
{{Spics}}

[[Image:2204mexico flag over us flag .jpg|thumb|left|[[Oh noes]], the [[Spics]] took over America!]]
[[Image:WelcomeToMexico.jpeg|thumb|"This is how you get people to look up at you, in Meheeko."]]
[[Image:Google_mexicans_suggested_searches.gif|thumb|[[Google]] hates Mexicans, and rightfully so.]]
[[Image:Plate Thief sm blur.jpg|thumb|Mexicans contribute greatly to the US economy. [[Sarcasm|Great hiring Pep Boys]].]]
[[Image:Tween-dora-the-explorer.jpg|thumb|IRL all Mexican girls are butt-ugly, smelly [[fat]] [[whores]].]]

'''Mexico''' (''mex'' as in "Mexs" to shout out at a Mexican - [[卐]] - ''jee'' as in ''[[Hello|HI]] pronounced "he"'' since it's Spanish ''-ko'' as in [[Cocaine]]) is a giant contaminated drug lab full of illegal immigrants, chili peppers, government oppression, massive fucking drug wars, [[drug dealer|dealers]], [[whores]], corruption, [[Alcohol#Tequila|tequila]], factories, jumping beans, blindingly quick mice, sombreros, tacos, and of course, the filthy [[Spics]]. The entire continent of Central and [[South America]] could actually be considered Mexican since they're all just fucking brown beaners [[amirite]]? Mexico is currently <s>in contention with [[Africa]], [[Afghanistan]], [[Pakistan]], [[Ukraine]] and the [[Balkans]] for the title of</s> the [[Mexico|Biggest Shithole on Earth]]. At present, what remains of Mexico is a [[Fail|failed state]] ruled by an Oligarchy and one of the world's most dangerous [[Mafia]]s that governs (is suspected to be [[CIA]]).

==History==
[[File:Mexico_map.jpg|thumb|The fact that eludes most low-IQ [[spics]]]]
[[File:Mexico today.png|thumb|Mexico today]]
[[File:Mexicans_and_Sharpies.jpeg|thumb|[[Typical]] Mexican schoolgirls]]
[[File:Mexican-Baseball-lg.gif|thumb|[[Typical]] Mexican sport, which centers around [[animal abuse]]]]
[[Image:Mexican family going to church.jpg|thumb|Pictured: [[Catholic|An average Mexican family on its weekly outing to the local church]].]]
[[File:Beaners.jpg|thumb|[[In Soviet Russia]], aliens deport YOU!]]
[[File:Mexican gas chamber.jpg|thumb|If beaners did the [[holocaust]] ]]

The first civilizations in Mexico, the Mayans, were the result of [[sick fuck]] [[Cthulhu|star-gods]] trolling the [[Injuns|timber niggers]] by teaching them [[Guro|human sacrifice]], up to and including [[Emo|self-cutting]], [[acrotomophilia]] and [[cannibalism]]. The Injuns must continue to murderfuck each other in the most [[lulz]]y ways possible for the gods' entertainment, or else they will [[Delete fucking everything|destroy the world]] in [[2012]] (which never happened). The Mayans invented football, but their original concept was that if somebody lost he would be flayed alive and tortured to death as a sacrifice to [[Allah|God]]. Then the Mayans were replaced by the Aztecs who were ten tines worse as they [[Holocaust|literally sacrificed thousands of their enslaved victims]] by cutting them open ala surgery without anaesthesia and then dragging their heart out to the Sun while alive and beating (even the most sick [[Japan]]ese couldn't compete with Aztec religious practice) but their reign ended when in the 16th century [[Spain]] tested out their first prototype of [[Plague Inc]] by bombarding the Aztecs with [[AIDS|the lethal bioweapon smallpox.]] They got replaced with [[slavery|free labor]] from [[Africa]] and the [[Philippines|East Indies]], hence the reason why some Mexicans appear [[nigger|blacker]].

The Mayans kept their own land for the next 170 years (and live there still, [[Rape|kidnapping]] the odd tourist and gibbering about the [[Guro|glory of human sacrifice]]). The Mayans like to think of themselves as [[pretty cool guy]]s, but really it was the Aztecs that had all the [[gold]], while all the Mayans had was chocolate and a bunch of boring [[het]] slashfic about their [[chikins|chicken serpent]] god [[Mudkip|Quetzalcoatl]], which by the way the god [[TL;DR|Xiuhcoatl]] would have pwned anyways. (cause it's got an '[[X]]' in the name and everyone knows [[Truth|the letter 'X' makes everything cooler]])

The term "Mexican" is also used by people who want to save time and effort memorizing worthless countries like Guatemala, Honduras, Colombia, Venezuela, and Nicaragua but not [[Brazil]] since its nigger/trap/aids population makes it undesirable for anyone. The origin of the name "Mexican" [[Shit nobody cares about|has been suggested to be derived from Mextli or Mēxihtli, a secret name for the god of war and patron of the Aztecs, Huitzilopitchli, in which case Mēxihco means "Place where Mēxihtli lives."]]

In the 19th century, Mexico's Government was pwned out of [[Texas]] by crazy [[rednecks]] who later [[Truth|gave it as a gift]] to the [[United States]]. It was during this period that the U.S. [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] captured [[New Mexico]], which the U.S. has unsuccessfully been trying to give back for 150 years.

Modern Mexicans are a [[fail|strange race]], a mix of [[sand nigger|mediterranean european]], native Mexican tribes, random immigrants (people actually immigrate TO Mexico, [[SRSLY]], and a drop of [[nigger]]. Hierarchically they fall somewhere between [[nigger|black folk]] and the [[wiggers]] in terms of cultural, social, political and technological sophistication. They are not skilled at very many things but in those things in which they are, include such vital activities as mowing your lawn, taking out your trash, cleaning your toilets and sweeping your streets. Hence their value to society must not be underestimated.

While there have been few examples of Mexican celebrities finding overseas success, prominent Mexican citizen [http://skepdic.com/chupa.html Chupacabra] enjoyed brief fame in 1991. And of course, there's always Ricardo Montalban. Other famed celebrity personalities include [[unfunny|George Lopez]], [[Che Guevara]] ([[fact|actually "white" argentinian]]), [[tits|Salma Hayek]] and [[The Most Interesting Man In The World]]. The main exports of Mexico include beer, firearms, [[drugs]] but mainly [[spics|illegal immigrants]].

[[Last Thursday]], Mexico became the birth place of [[swine flu]]. This occurred when Mexicans unintentionally contracted the strain by partaking in their favorite weekly activity of [[muhammad|pig fucking]]. And thus inadvertently further demonstrated how Mexico really is the shittiest filthy place in the world. 100 beaners died and [[lulz]] were had when the Mexican Government started [[delete fucking everything|closing fucking everything]] to [[fail|prevent it from spreading]], after which they infected over 9,000 eurofags, and a few Jews, and had it spread from [[Russia]] to [[Peru]] to [[Canada]] to [[Israel]]. Of course [[none]] of this would have happened if [[you]] had not gone to Mexico for Spring Break, [[fucktard|dumbass]].

{{youtube|cTZC-j48JWg|Typical reaction from reading a wikipedia article about Mexican holidays}}

<youtube>cTZC-j48JWg</youtube>

<youtube>JWfvJI7V_14</youtube>

==[[Christmas|Present]]==
[[File:Mexicanmeal.jpg|thumb|[[El Blog del Narco]] has great examples of modern day Mexican cuisine]]
Modern Mexico is <s>in</s> a sad, lulz-less state. In the late 1990s, the ruling [[Nazi|PRI]] government began distributing maps, first-aid kits, and fake IDs to select households to encourage the systematic immigration of the entire populace to the United States, an initiative dubbed [[GTFO|"Vete a la Chingada de Aquí"]]. In the interim, Mexico is used primarily as a storehouse for drugs, [[guns]], and whores (especially whores). It is also where over [[Statistics|90%]] of Americans dump their shit, making Mexico the garbage dump of the world (just behind [[New Jersey]]).
[[File:ElBlogdelNarco.jpg|thumb|An example of peaceful serenity in Mexico, brought to you by [[El Blog del Narco]]]]
Illegal immigrants that are apprehended by [[the man]] are invariably [[Banned|sent back]] to Mexico (or [[Meh]]-he-ko, as it is pronounced in their primitive tongue). While many favor this initiative, the resulting <s>labor</s> slave shortage would force whitey to pay the [[Union]]s fair wages for all those jobs typically filled by the Mexican, or actually getting HIS hands dirty with work in the janitorial, landscaping or lunch-serving fields. As we all know that will never happen, U.S. officials currently have a "revolving door" border policy with Mexico, meaning that once deported, illegal immigrants are free to sneak back over when no one is looking (but not when [[noone]] is looking).

[[File:Art.heads.in.coolers.jpg‎|thumb|How to win]]

The major [[capitalist|industries]] in Mexico have stepped up to deal with [[poverty]] in their land, though. Last year [[CIA|major drug cartels]], bored with just running shit brick [[weed]] and [[pedophiles|trained professionals]] across the border, wanted to show they cared, so they decided to [[Trolling IRL|sponsor]] ''[[American Idol|Mexican Idol]]'', in which [[over 9,000]] [[Fucktard|contestants]] have to [[Decapitation|chop off]] their competitor's heads and [[pwned|stick them in coolers]] leaving them by the side of the road to show how [[hardcore]] they are. The [[winnar]] who makes it to the end gets an 8ball of [[crack]] and a lifetime [[Assassination|contract]] for [[Sony|making music]] with [[Illuminati|major government officials]].

==In the Wild==

[[File:Dora has boobs.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>No fair. The Dora on Nickelodeon doesn't have [[Your Mom|Mommy Bags]] like the Mexican Bimbo on the right</center>]]
The wild Mexican is quite an inquisitive creature with an unmatched curiosity and mustache. If you are lucky enough to encounter one of these majestic beasts in the wild, there are certain precautions one must take to ensure their own personal safety.
#Cover up any exposed money or valuables as they WILL try to steal them
#Avoid looking directly into their mustache as it may cause temporary paralysis and a severe case of diarrhea
#Do not offer them any food, they have a very sensitive stomach that will only accept certain substances (see below)

If these precautions are met, watching these beautiful creatures in their wild habitat can be quite a rewarding hobby (see Borderguard)

{{ytlink|XSf0ANnAxVE|JBL shows us how its done.}}

==In Captivity==
When keeping Mexicans as a pet, one must consider if they can actually care for their newfound family member/moustachioed taco receptacle. Mexicans require daily care and attention, such as:
#Manual Labor
#Clean Bedding(yesterday's newspaper will do just fine, dont use anything of value as they will steal it)
#A large place to run about and dig with a high, barb-wired fence, at least 19 feet high. They will easily jump anything of lesser height and escape.

In the wild, Mexicans eat a wide variety of tortilla/bean/cheese/car part combinations and they often drink large quantities of bong water and gasoline (diesel only, btw). When keeping Mexicans, it is best to emulate their natural diet as closely as possible. Some recommended foods are:
#Motor oil
#Chain link fence
#tacos
#burritos
#taquitos
#burraquitos
#and 'dee twenny eench speener reems' Translation: 20 inch spinner rims
This balanced diet, along with daily exercise (border jumping and ditch digging) will ensure that your sweaty little friend is around for many years of fun family entertainment.

==Mexican Intelligence==
"Mexican intelligence" is, in fact, an [[oxymoron]], since the intellect of your average [[Oil#People_With_Oil|Crisco pumper]] falls somewhere between that of a dead [[goatse|goat]] and the lube of said dirty carcass used to insert into its [[In the pooper|butthole]] by his unwashed (and [[smegma|uncircumcised]]) [[schlong]].

[[Scientists]] have speculated that the [[Terri Schiavo|brain dead]] look on a Mexican's face (see picture) is due to a complete lack of the part of the [[human]] [[brain]] responsible for [[Existence|self-awareness]] and [[common sense]]. They all are also politically and [[retarded|socially behind]].

Experimentation has revealed that the closest any other race can come to experiencing what the brain of a [[Carlos Mencia|spic]] feels like is to be bludgeoned in the head with a lead pipe until delirious and on the fringe of going into a coma. This constant state of [[retard|delirium]] is the reason why Mexico is a [[4chan|shit hole]] and nothing is or can be done right in cities where these members of the Mexican race are a majority.

==Language==
[[File:Narcovideo.png|thumb|[[Narcovideo]]s are considered to be Mexico's finest exports to the [[internets]]]]

{{quote|[[George W. Bush|Jeb Bush]] is crazy, who cares that he speaks [[Fail|Mexican]], this is [[USA|America]], English !!|Wise words from [[The Donald]]}}

Mexicans speak a bastardised dialect of Spanish loaded with clucking and spattering. Due to their constant use of the sound 'oy' as in [[????|"oy con dios"]], there's big argument over, whether or not they were the [[Totalulz|ORGInal Jews]], which could be easily be proven by the way they [[not|enter the USA]].

It is said that learning English is important for every enterprising Mexican. Nothing could be further from the truth. As long as a Mexican's English is good enough to understand a few simple phrases, such as "mow lawn" and "leaf blower in garage" and "no money to pay you" and "go home or I call ICE", that is all the English they will ever need.

[[Image:Mexican.jpg|thumb|An [[IRL]] Mexican]]

[[File:MexicanCrapArt2.jpg|thumb|Mexican "art".]]
[[File:MexicoGunFreeZone.png|thumb|All of Mexico is a "Gun Free" zone due to Mexico's sane and reasonable firearms prohibitions.]]

==Literature==
Mexican literature is one of the most prolific and influential of the Spanish language along with the literatures of Spain, Argentina and Cuba. It has internationally recognized authors such as Juan Rulfo, Octavio Paz, Carlos Fuentes, Amado Nervo and several others.

Perhaps the most famous and archetypal Mexican poem is the following one-verse work by Octavio Paz, describing the hardships endured by migrant laborers: 

Soy Peón 
My name it is Pancho. 
I work on the rancho. 
I make-a fi pesos a day. 
At night I see Lucy. 
She gimme some poosey 
And take my fi pesos away. 

==A Mexican illegal alien's wet dream==
<youtube>tppe90K9alQ</youtube>

==Music==
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nortec Nortec]
ALSO:
[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hocico Hocico], [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Amduscia Amduscia] etc.

==How to troll Mexicans==
[[File:Smileforthecamera.png|thumb|These guys are smiling since they realized they were trolled]]
[[File:Sniper riffle spicshoot.jpg|thumb|How to control the flow of illegal spic aliens]]
[[File:Trump-anchor.jpg|thumb|[[Donald Trump|Remind them about deportaion]].]]
[[IRL]]:
#Remind them that they're shorter, [[fugly|fuglier]], and the overall laughing stock of Latin America.
#No, you can't have my aluminum cans
#Confuse them with Guatemalans
#Call them Spics
#Call them "[[Chink|Chicanos]]" (seriously, they get really angry).
#Throw [[Shit|tacos]] at their faces.
#Say that "El Santo" is [[gay]] and deserved to die (some Mexican pedo-[[wrestler|wrestling]]).
#Tell them how good it is be legal in a country.
#Ask why their national soccer team is mostly made of Mexican citizens who are originally from [[Brazil]].
#Call Go, Diego, Go! savage for owning a pet Jaguar.
#Refer to all Mexicans as [[spics]].
#Remind them how [[Argentina]] kicked their ass during the [[2010 World Cup]].
#[[Paul the Psychic Octopus|Remind them how until Spain won the World Cup]].
#Tell them that their soccer team sucks for not getting a World Cup despite having two FIFA's in their shit country.
#Ask them for tips to cross illegally to other countries.
#Tell them to zerg rush another country.
#Say that El Zorro is a ripoff of masochistic supervillain Deathstroke.
#Blame them for the Swine Flu.
#Call them stupid; [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=estupido srysly]
#Ask them why abortion isn't included in the Mexican lifestyle.
#Ask them why they dress like [[gangsta]] [[nigras]] (fucking cholos).
#Call Mayan noses unattractive.
#Tell them to go fold a taco.
#Tell them how great a hero Cortés was.
#Tell them [[Spanish]] dubs are better than theirs.
#(and consequently) Say that [[Spain]] can re-[[pwn]] them any day they want.
#Tell them that [[fact|Cesar Chavez was against illegal immigration and any guest-worker program]].
#Tell them that [[fact|Che Guevara hated Mexicans]].
#Insist that Olmecs were Blacks, Chinese, or Aliens.
#Insist that the few white people in Mexico are more Mexican than any wannabe-Mexican anchor beaners in the States.
#Ask why they are so obsessed with [[Jeffrey Dahmer]].
#Praise Jacks Black's Mexican accent in Nacho Libre.
#Say that Adal Ramones is funnier than Brozo, Andres Bustamante or any other moderately good Mexican comedian. If you don't know who the hell Adal is, then do the same thing but instead mention George Lopez.
#Insist that Pancho Villa got owned by [[Americunts]].
#Grow your own [[drugs]] and sue them for copyright.
#Tell them that China is (still) kicking their asses with the population stats (but not for long).
#Tell them Aztec sounds cooler than Mexica.
#Tell them Halloween is better than Day of the Dead.
#Tell them you support [[Donald Trump]]
#Cheer during the boat scene at the end of [[Mad Mel|Apocalypto]].
#Tell them to go back home and fix their [[Mexico|dirt-poor third-world Nazi-communist hellhole country]] because there is no such thing as "Aztlan" and they'll only get arrested, deported, and/or killed for trespassing on American soil.
#Insult Snow Pea from ''Mucha Lucha''.
#Inform them that [[fact|71 percent of Mexican women and 66 percent of Mexican men are overweight, <strike>and that obesity in Mexico may exceed that of America by 2018]].[http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/health/news/article_1610712.php/Mexico-restricts-junk-food-in-schools-to-fight-obesity]</strike> '''Wait a second, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/09/mexico-obesity_n_3567772.html it already has!] HOLY FUCK!'''

#[[????]]
#[[Profit!]]

==Avoiding being trolled by them==
DO NOT fucking eat anything cooked by Mexicans, or [[Tubgirl|you will regret it]].

==Beaner Creation Myth==

[[Image:Bad_father.jpg|thumb|Family bonding as it is done in Mexico]]

Beaners (an honorific term for a Mexican, one that praises the healthy tint of his skin) believe that they are the children of Quetzalcoatl, the Aztec sky and creation [[god]]. The truth, however, is that they are the half-caste product of their parents fucking (and those Mexicans do a lot of fucking, [[amirite]]?).

Many of these so-called "[[wigger|light-skinned]]" or "[[Obama|mixed race]] indigenous Mexica Azteca" nurture [[hate|socially unacceptable]] feelings regarding Spain's colonial past, believing that the Conquistadors destroyed their [[none|cultural heritage]], but what they ultimately [[you fail it|fail to realize]] is that '''they''' are the descendants of those [[rape|sexually uninhibited]] ex-cons, not the people currently living on that faraway peninsula.

==[[Zapatistas|E.Z.L.N.]]==
[[Image:foodstamps.jpeg|thumb|National currency of Mexico]]

[[Irl]] trolls, and Mexico's discount version of [[Al Qaeda]]. Known as [[Zapatistas]], they are what you get when you colonize a country but don't kill its Natives ([[South Africa|which is always a bad move]]).

==Mexicans are a Fertile People==
[[Image:Mexicanmercedes.jpg|thumb|A mexican's dream luxury car. Only the top 5% of Mexicans living in Mexifornia could afford this beast.]]
[[Image:Prog_stations_tout.jpg|thumb|Voted hottest Mexican couple by [[Perez Hilton|E! News]] from 1940-2009]]
Mexicans have a proven history of having kids - lots of them, and early. How early? Recently, one in Brazil gave birth at [http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,202601,00.html nine.] (Link to Fox News, well known for its journalistic integrity.) The record, however, was set in 1939, when a [http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/medina.asp five-year, seven-month-old] girl gave birth, meaning she must've gotten bizzay when she was four. When entertaining a Mexican at home, it is always important to first inquire whether or not he or she intends to have sex with you or your children, as (much like the [[Japanese]]), fornication is simply a polite way of saying hello.

It is safe to assume that all Mexican women you meet are pregnant. For each child they shit out, the US government pays them an extra $250 in addition to their food coupons, which subsequently gets stolen by a lazy, welfare-leeching niggra.

==People named Jesús==
[[Image:Fat-mexican-bbw.jpg|thumb|Typical Mexican chick]]

You may be surprised to find that in Mexico, there is Jesus. Not the [[Jesus|Jew nailed to the 2x4]], but "[[Doing it wrong|Jesús]]," a common male name. While the two names initially appear similar, note that the Mexican version places a mark above the "u" (the meaning of which continues to puzzle linguists), and that the pronunciation is similar to "HAY-zoos". Some believe this is actually a corruption of "Hey, Zeus" and that the name began as a plea to the thunderbolt-wielding serial rapist from [[Greek]] mythology. Others think "ú" is simply a typo.

==Mexicans in America==

{{天|1=<div style="text-align:left;padding:10px;">
<big>WARNING:</big>
[http://www.ice.gov/ Report suspicious activity 1-866-DHS-2-ICE]</div>|2=Beanerscum.jpg|3=100px|4=#FFCC00|5=275px|6=0px|7=2px solid Black|8=0px}}

There's no denying it: there's a whole bunch of corn-loving, crop circle-making [[aliens]] in the U.S. [[Srsly]]. Statistics indicate that Mexicans make up [[true|22.3%]] of the population in the U.S.A., selling taco-flavored kisses to make their way in a country that seems to be [[in the pooper|turning increasingly browner]]...

[[Image:Edward_james_olmos_mexico.jpg|thumb|Actor Edward James Olmos celebrates Mexican style.]]
'''A Day in the Life of a Typical Mexican-American'''
<youtube>dXYh84M-iEM</youtube>

[[Image:Frida.jpg|thumb|dat eyebrow]]
[[Image:Mexican gay porn.jpeg|thumb|One example of their finest porn]]
[[Image:Mexifornia.jpg|thumb|Typical Mexican ID for Mexicans in America before 2009]]
[[Image:Mexicans Crossing Roadsign.jpg|thumb|A common Mexifornian road sign]]

Mexicans are a crossbreed of inferior races, a.k.a. New World Monkeys. That's what happens when you BUTTFUCK Buffalo.

==Mexicans in America 2: The Movie==
Once in America, many Mexicans attempt to become more "American." This is variably accomplished by: buying Hollister clothes; celebrating [[Thanksgiving]]; listening to [[Metal]], [[Rap]], or [[Country music]]; always using the word "dude" going to [[Hot Topic]]; [[yes|speaking comprehensible English]]; voting [[Republican]]; joining the [[military]]; and, most importantly, telling all the subsequent illegal Mexicans to "[[LOL WUT|Vete a la Chingada de Aquí mojado.]]" It is [[fact]].

==Mexicans in America 3: The Reality Show==
America's first choice of music is overwhelmingly (c)[[rap]] (thank you, [[niggers]], [[wiggers]] and chiggers. [[Your mother]] would be proud). Mexicans often listen to rap to appear "bad ass" and even profess to love it. The problem of not actually understanding English, however, was something of a problem, until enterprising young Mex-Americans created Spanish (or Spanglish) rap. Unfortunately, this is even gayer than original rap. It is in fact so gay that the only thing gayer is French rap, which is humiliatingly gay.

==Mexican Weather==
As a direct result of all the lawnmowers being produced in factories across Mexico, the weather is usually hot and dry. However, the vast number of [[Taco Bell]]s provide a cool shade, as well as a welcome darkness for half of Mexico's population to have sex and/or [[rape]] in privacy. The other half, of course, are the ones being raped.

==Roof Dwellers==
The expensive (and motherfucking slow) tubes from Mexico[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_in_Mexico] are affordable only by the richest of ricos. They also have [[basement dwellers]], but since the weather is hot as [[Hell]] (literally) and every top tier Mexican house has at least one abandoned room near the roof for domestic workers, Mexican "basement dwellers" move to the roof where they do the same crazy shit as their counterparts [[everywhere]] else.

==How to Mexico==
# Flee your gang-infested country because it is so dangerous.
# Do not assimilate into new country's culture and force them to adapt to your fat ass.
# Reproduce at the rate of cockroaches and burden social welfare system until it collapses.
# Purposefully mold your new community into a replica of the place that you fled!
# Eat beans and have more babies.

==Absolut Lulz==
[[Image:Mexico city.JPG|thumb|[[Typical]] Mexican city. Or maybe California. Same thing anywhere there are Mexicans.]]

[[Image:Absolut vodka ad mexico.jpg|thumb|center|Thank God this was [[fixed]].]]

[[At least 100|Recently]], the [[Swedish]] [[vodka]] company "Absolut" ran a controversial magazine/billboard ad in which they displayed a map of the borders of the [[United States]] and Mexico in the [[at least 100 years ago|early 1800s]] prior to Anglo-American conquest. On top of this map was the caption "In an Absolut World", with a bottle of vodka sitting in the corner. What this has to do with alcohol is beyond anyone's imagination, but it's not like commercials ever try to make sense, anyway. Like pussies, Absolut only ran the ad in Mexico, but enterprising [[Americunts|Americans]] found out about it and immediately felt [[butthurt]], demanding that the ad be pulled from circuit. Absolut, feeling both public pressure and [[troll's remorse]], yanked the ad like the faggots they are. They did this mainly because they didn't want to lose their American market, which is much more important to them (silly Absolut - the Mexican's drink is [[Tila Tequila|Tequila]].)

While the incident was soon forgotten, evidence of this long-ago, brutal skirmish remains on the Internets. On the one side of the Showdown of Stupidity were the fucktards who claimed the ad was disrespectful to Americans and that Absolut was run by a bunch of left-wing [[Terrorism|t'rrist]] supporters; on the other was the equally fucktarded opposition, composed mainly of [[hippies]] and beaners who like to yell about freedom of speech, stolen territory, and all that other shit that people just start to tune out after a while. Below are some links to Absolut-gate, replete with [[drama]], [[lulz]], and [[retardation]].

* [http://archive.fo/ol16y News article on the incident.]
* [http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/8/Cops-in-Mexico-City-560821.html The Federal Beaner Investigation in action.]

===YouTube===

* {{ytlink|fb_QRjaAkgI|Some <s>senile</s> wise old farts discuss the topic on CNN.}}
* <s>{{ytlink|UJhjwyX8Mr0|Absolut apologizes}}</s>
* {{ytlink|M8ch0QHImCk|To err is human, to forgive is Un-American.}}

==Fact of the Day==

[[Image:Space Seed 2.jpg|thumb|Star Trek [[Khan]]: Lock up your señoritas!]]
[[Image:Space Seed 3.jpg|thumb|Star Trek [[Khan]]: TV's first interracial kiss between a Mexican and a [[ginger]].]]
[[Image:MexicoConquersUSA.jpg|thumb|Status of Mexican influx. Uh-oh.]]

Villain [[Khan]] from ''[[Star Trek]]'' was in fact a Mexican. ''Trek'' producers were trying to find a really scary [[racism|racial]] stereotype and rejected a [[Viking]], a [[Borg]], and a [[Nazi]] before settling on Khan as we know him today. In the episode "Viva Khaaan!!!!", Khan (real name: Rodolfo Neri Vela [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodolfo_Neri_Vela]) is Mexico's first (and subsequently only) astronaut, who in 1985 steals the Space Shuttle ''[[Atlantis]]'', and then tries to steal the ''Enterprise'' from Jew [[William Shatner|Captain Kirk]] after a three-century [[lazy|siesta]]. In a historical cross-cultural TV [[love]] scene, Khan is permitted to kiss a [[ginger]], an act not repeated until ''[[MILF|Desperate Housewives]]''. In actuality, there are no Mexicans on any of the ''Star Trek'' episodes because, as one could guess, Mexicans don't want to work in the future either.

Furthermore, there are no Mexican [[Olympic]] teams because any one of them whom are able to run, jump, or swim, are of course illegal immigrants in the United States.

==Cinco de mayo==
This is a holiday which was invented by the [[Alcohol]] industry as an excuse for Americans to get totally shitfaced while wearing a sombrero. It is loosely based on Mexican history when [[France]], after realizing how pathetic Mexico is and that the water there is not safe for human consumption, called off its imperial pwning in favor of [[Africa|someplace more worthy of conquest]]. Actual Mexicans don't particularly give a shit about it, either.

==A Mexican's Career Options==
* Village idiot
* [[moot|4chan admin]]
* Aztec high priest
* Bandito
* Bassist for [[Metallica]]
* Bullfighter
* Burglar (males)
* Catholic priest
* Collector of aluminum, glass, & plastic for cash
* [[Ed Rodriguez|Criminal]]
* Day laborer
* Donkey show star
* [[Drug]] trafficker
* [[Farm Town|Farmer]] (beans, maize, rice, sugarcane, various fruit, wheat, and/or [[marijuana]])
* [[Sea Kittens|Fisherman]]
* Fruit vendor
* Garbage collector
* Gardener
* Gum salesman
* [[Graffiti]] "artist"
* Home Depot CEO
* Illegal immigrant
* Janitor
* Lazy assistant to [[white]] high school Spanish teacher
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ibgEek3rpA Lion food.]
* Low-budget cartoon character
* [[Professional Wrestling|Luchador]]
* Maid
* [[Man]]/[[woman]] who bitches about how great Mexico is and how horrible America is, even if living in America and only occasionally visiting Mexico. This job is taken seriously by the majority of Mexicans.
* [[Midget]]-for-hire
* Narcotraficante
* Nigger's [[Bitch|lackey]]
* [[Nun]]
* Pancho villa's grave cleaner
* Parent of <s>eighty-three</s> (swine flu) eighty-two children from one women
* [[Pedophile]]
* Political campaigner for [[Obama|Pedro]]
* [[Roberto Madrazo's Berlin Marathon Cheat|Politician/cheater]]
* Professional job thief
* Ranchero
* [[Rape|Rapist]]
* Roadside flower pusher
* Roadside windshield cleaner
* [[Sailor]]
* [[Army|Soldier]]
* Soldier (dead)
* [https://myspace.com/lolo239official THIS]
* [[Carlos_Sousa_Jr|Tiger feeder]]
* Witch doctor (brujo)
* [[Whore]] (females and traps)
* Worker at [[Taco Bell]]

==Gallery==
{{cg|La Galería|mexicogallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mexicans.jpg|OH NOES!!!
Image:Siesta.jpg|A Mexican taking a siesta on his luxurious bed of dirt
Image:DarylCagleMexicanFlag.jpg|¡VIVA MEHEEKO!
File:My body is ready.PNG|Mexican boys are always ready, ese.
Image:Toro.gif|Typical happening
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mexicankid.jpg|A Mexican on a daily basis
File:Mexicanrapistirony.jpg
Image:Mexican_border.jpg|Typical Mexican doing what he does best, jumping the border
Image:Crossing_mexican_border.jpg|Mexicans preparing to steal desirable farm laborer positions
Image:sol_trujillo.jpg|Spanish-language conversations can only be conducted via wild gesticulation
Image:Mexican I Had It All.jpg|Depression is a common problem in Mexico.
Image:Beanerpower.jpg|Mexicans would like to fuck [[cunt|Bush]].
Image:MexicansSwimming.jpg|Typical Mexican swim meet
Image:Gay_ranchero.jpg|In Mexico, gay ranchero is the new goth.
Image:Chapulin.jpg|One of Mexico's two state-sanctioned superheroes (the other being the bee guy).
File:Estoy Usando.jpg
File:Ageofconsen2t.png
Image:SanFernandoValleyfeb162000.gif|If La Raza say it is are land, it is are land.
Image:bananamexican.jpg|It is delicious Mexican culture, you must eat it.
Image:Mexican.png|Mexican cheerleader showing her school spirit
Image:Gayerthangay.jpg|[[Pedobear|PedroBear]]
Image:Mexiho.jpg|A [[fag|gay]] Mexican
Image:Tikal.jpg|Mexican [[furry]]
Image:Mexicans Mexicanpres.jpg|El señor [[Bush]] addressing his "vatos" regarding Mexican immigration
Image:mspresident.jpeg|La señora Bush shows her deep cultural ties to the Mexicans
Image:Sharpies.jpg|Look closely to see that the average Mexican girl tends to shave her eyebrows.
Image:Bgangsta.jpg|Typical Mexican investment banker
File:Neverquitanempire.jpg
Image:Bgangstafixed.jpg|Fixed
Image:typical_euromexicans.jpg|Some Spanish Mexicans take a break from bull-slaughtering to inspect a set of genitals.
File:Mexicancuisine.jpg
Image:Manueluribe.jpg|A thin Mexican woman
File:Trumpdivide.jpg
File:Scumbagmexican.jpg
File:Mexicanflag.jpg
Image:Mexicunts.JPG|Typical photo of random Mexicans
[[Image:Mexifornia.jpg|California is now officially known as "Mexifornia".
Image:Mexican_baby.jpg|Typical Mexican baby
Image:Speedy.gif|[[An Hero|A national hero]]
File:Samuel Jackson English.jpg|Now on sale
File:Chel.jpg|Mexican clothing
File:Ludicolo.png|Wild Mexican appears!
File:Macarena_dance.jpg|A dance actually invented by Mexicans, on accident, while taking a break from picking cabbage.
Image:Obama Mexican.jpg|[[Obama]]'s immigration policy
File:No more churos.jpg
File:Mexican Swat.gif
File:Mexican Protester Sets Himself On Fire.gif
File:Illegalsout.png
File:Mexico.jpg
File:Whitegenocide58234832.png
File:Whitegenocide818232.png
File:Whitegenocide86812312.png
File:Whitegenocide818318231.png
File:Mexicans and Sharpies (1).jpeg
File:1 of 3 Mexicans are on welfare.gif
</gallery>}}

== FUN FACT ==
In the Coac-HELLA music fest, 100000 white kids show up and 99% of the town's population works for "Free". But the good side is Mexicans smoke weed and willing to give you a joint, "my friend".

==Videos==

Happy After Robbing a House

<youtube>7Rfgqn2HguM</youtube> 
Sophisticated Mexican Dancing.
Monday at two in the morning. Trust me you do NOT want this people as neighbors !
<youtube>9fMSZh2mglM</youtube> 
Typical Mexican Dancing Shoes.
These are fucking retarded like every other fashion craze in the world.

==See also==

* [[Idiot]]
* [[Poverty]]
* [[Political corruption]]
* [[WTF]], the acronym you say when you first arrive in Mexico.
* [[Suicide]], Mexicans' common practice in all areas.
* [[Retard]]
* [[Reconquista]] Mexican idea that they can retake the South West United States.
* [[Troll]], what their government is 100% made up of.
* [[Catholics]], 10 babies per minute because they don't know hoe to put a fucking [[sex|condom]] on.
* [[Albania]], a country like Mexico only with [[white people]] instead of spics.
* [[Alcohol]]
* [[Arizona]], a place filled with [[oldfags|old white people]] that "Mexicans" are trying to take over so they can rape all the old white [[women]].
* [[California]], notorious for its high Mexican population.
* [[Cheat]]
* [[drugs|Drug trafficking]], what many Mexicans are engaged in as they go about their daily lives.
* [[El Blog del Narco]], a [[Sarcasm|pleasurable blog for eyes]].
* [[Gb2]]
* [[Inciclopedia]]
* [[Lazy]], what many Mexicans are. No wonder they're so fat.
* [[Manuel Uribe]]
* [[Mexican AIDS]]
* [[Mini Daddy]]
* [[Mootxico]]
* [[Murder]]
* [[Narcovideo]]
* [[Pakis]], the [[Britfag]] equivalent of Mexicans.
* [[Palestine]]
* [[Rape]], Mexico's national sport.
* [[Roberto Madrazo's Berlin Marathon Cheat]]
* [[SaturnDOS]] - One of the most [[Pathetic|pathetic]] [[Trolls|trolls]] in internet history.
* [[Spics]], another word for dirty Mexicans.
* [[Adalia Rose]]
* [[Doomentio]]
* [[Donald Trump]] (worst enemy)

==External links==
* [http://swfchan.com/1/1416/?border_patrol.swf Best video game ever.]
* {{yt|u|DannyNoriega|Some Illegal Mexican Faggot}}
* [http://www.flashrolls.com/shooting-games/Border-Patrol-Flash-Game.htm lol Mexicans]
* [http://archive.fo/YKRkm Some Mexicans deserve to be shot.]
* [http://www.whitehouse.org/espanol.asp The First Lady welcomes Mexican Immigrants on the official Page of the White House.]
* {{ytlink|oHg5SJYRHA0|Typical Mexican Video}}
* {{ytlink|e4WWc2PkcVc|''Illegal Alien Vs. Predator''}}
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104815 ''El Mariachi'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112851 ''Desperado'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285823 ''Once Upon a Time in Mexico'']
* [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0985694 ''You just fucked with the wrong Mexican'']
* {{ytlink|aymLjB3Ny60|''Mexicans trying to get away from the Border Patrol''}}
* [http://www.mexicanjokes.net/ ''Juan,Carlos,and Antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins? Society.'']
* {{ytlink|_EY68UUx9IY|Fat Mexican}}

{{Commonwealth}}
{{Timeline|Featured article August 22, [[2006]]|[[Nathanr]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Gorgeous George]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article December 16 & December 17, [[2011]]|[[Dragon Ball Z]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Needledrop]]}}

[[Category:Countries]]

{{timeline|Article of the Now May 7 & 8 [[2023]]|[[Comic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Nigger (Dog)]]}}

{{timeline|[[ED:AOTN|Featured Article]] May 5 & 6, [[2024]]|[[American Airlines Flight 63]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article June 30 & July 1, [[2024]]|[[WikiLeaks]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[America]]}}

Jewnited States of Americunts

2024-08-15T22:36:31Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[File:ThreatLevelKim.jpg|left|]] 
''This article primarily covers the facts, history and other information about the country of the United States. If you were looking for the breed, please [[Americunts|click here]]. '' 

[[Image:AmericA.jpg|500px|center]]

[[Image:Usburn.gif|right]]
[[File:0,1020,350834,00.jpg|thumb|left|Americans enjoying hard core Iraqi fuckfest orgy holidays!!!]]
[[Image:Boadwee_Old_Glory_2007.jpg|thumb|Old Glory, 2007, by artist [[Keith Boadwee]]]]
[[Image:Americaworld.jpg|thumb|left|Red denotes continuous landmass where 'Yankee Go Home is NOT sung on a daily basis, Jew Stars denote Outposts and Capital. Grey denotes continuous landmass where Yankee go Home' IS sung on a daily basis whereas five pointed stars represent their Outposts. Green denotes continuous landmass Where America is loved with [[BDSM|particular]] [[buttfuck|fondness]]]]
[[File:Uncle Sam.jpg|thumb|left|Standard procedure.]]

[[File:TheUSAandtheirneighbourstates.jpg|thumb|center|The USA and their cool neighbours]]

<center>{{morphquote|bitchquotes|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;

|America has the honour of being the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without the usual interval of civilisation in between|Georges Clemenceau

|America is a monstrosity, I wish Columbus had never discovered it.|Siegmund Freud

|I mean the biggest international terror operations that are known are the ones that are run out of Washington.|Noam Chomsky

|The USA is a corrupt, violent, immoral and hypocritical Nation.|Karlheinz Deschner

|Our every action is a battle cry against imperialism, and a battle hymn for the people's unity against the great enemy of mankind: the United States of America.|[[Che Guevara]]

|Thus the American presents a strange picture: a European with Negro behaviour and an Indian soul.|Carl Jung

|The United States has never entered a serious war, and has never been victorious.|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

|I don't see much future for the Americans ... it's a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities ... my feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance ... everything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified. How can one expect a State like that to hold together?|[[Adolf Hitler]]

|US Americans are a multi-ethnic Amalgam of unenlightened, uneducated, obese and gun-fanatic hicks without identity and culture.|Anon from a Forum
}}</center> 

'''The Jewnited States of Americunts''', ''(pronounced by the local inhabitants as '''"Murka"''')'' is also known as the ''[[Eminem|Divided States of Embarassment]]'', ''[[Confederate States of America]]'', ''Ameri[[KKK]]a'', ''[[Dumbfuckistan]]'', ''The [[Zionist]] States of [[Israel|Israelistan]]'', [[bible|''Theocratic State of the American Redneckistan'']], [[McDonalds|''Fatty Nation'']], ''[[The Great Satan]]'', the [[Barack Obama|''Black States of America'']], ''[[Fail|United Failed States Of America]]'', ''[[George W. Bush|United Rogue States Of America]]'' or just ''[[America]]'' (as if they are the only country on the whole [[Mexico|''continent'']]) is a cesspool of [[rednecks]], [[spics]], [[jews]], [[niggers]] and [[christfags]] on land stolen from the native [[Injuns]]. It is currently #2 on top ten [[fat]]test countries, just recently, in 2013, overtaken by the fat, fucking, beaner filthy sub-[[Spanish]], also known as the [[Mexicans]].

'''Americunts''' are ugly, selfish, greasy, fat cunts who love nothing more than fucking anything with a hole, sucking up all the planet's resources like it's a gallon jug of bacon grease, [[circumcision|remove the foremost part of the reproductive organ of their male offspring]], and threatening anyone who doesn't let them have their way with total nuclear annihilation. Even though they have the collective intelligence of a bowl of pubes, the accent of a colony of faggot gorillas, and an extreme case of [[Micropenis|baby-dick]], they believe they are superior to everyone else.

The United States is by far the ugliest, most cretinous civilization in human history, and it is despised, secretly or openly, by every other country on the planet, primarily because it is inhabited by the type of people who [https://www.foxnews.com/us/elaborate-houston-double-murder-for-hire-plot-hits-major-snag-prosecutors-say can order a murder for hire] but America is one of the world's most hypocritical countries. It bases its self-perception on lies and myths. The most common misconception about America is that it is a democracy. Bullshit. De facto, America is an oligarchy, not a democracy. Freedom of speech and expression does not exist, unless one believes that the nonsense written on the Constitution is not a hoax concocted by Jewish Americans. 

But America likes to make the world think it's a free country, but whatever you do, '''[[ALL_CAPS|DON'T LISTEN TO THEM WHEN THEY SAY THIS]]'''. [[Admiral Ackbar|It's a trap]] to get [[Mexicans|poor people]] who are [[China|looking for jobs]] who live in a [[Africa|bad place]] to come over only for their [[Fact|kids]] to be sent to [[Love|Guantanamo Bay]], be arrested for speaking freely, be forced to do all the crap labor no one wants like working in fields and slaughterhouses and being [[Molested|unnecessarily searched]] at airports, similar to how [[Pedobear|pedophiles]] lure [[little girls|kids]] into their vans with promises of [[Surprise buttsex|candy]]. 

<center>{{frame|[[File:The Everyday life of an American.mp4]]
<center>'''The Everyday life of an American'''}}</center>

==History==
===In the Beginning...===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>M4DsNKIJ6TM</youtube>
<center>'''TL DR America is socialist...'''}}</center>
 
A fat, toothless redneck God created Americunts in his own image. America's direct ancestors were composed of the most severely mentally [[retard]]ed untouchables in all of England, known as [[Westboro Baptist Church|Puritans]], who were very much like an ugly crossover of Bill O'Reilly and Islam what with their creepy anti-sex, anti-alcohol, anti-music, [[anti-lulz]], anti-nigger religion, in that they believed women were the spawn of evil and must be [[raped|punished]] [[Iran|God rules this country and the government answers directly to him]] (which carried on into modern American politics as well) and if someone disagrees with you, they are ZOMGZ0RZ TEH DEVIL/WITCH!!1111 and will burn in hell for all eternity (which carried on into modern American political discourse). Back in Britain, the Puritans' incestuous ways created [[Aspie|Oliver Cromwell]] who [[Communism|attempted to overthrow the Monarchy and replace it with a regime where all are equally poor]], which failed epicly. Because the Holocaust was yet to be invented by Charles Darwin 400 years later, the Queen instead decided to pile all the retards, autistics, and criminals on a boat, which, for additional insult to injury, was named the [[Gay|Mayflower]], and send it speeding in a random direction, hoping that they would be too stupid to operate a boat and therefore drown... which is why, in a massive moment of luck, it didn't.

The boat landed in what is today New England and it was a fucking post-apocalyptic wasteland after the Spanish played too much [[Plague Inc]] and pwned the mighty Aztec Empire with [[AIDS|bioweapons]]. Tribal [[injuns|Timber Niggers]] were the only survivors, whom they quickly dismissed as [[truth|violent, barbaric, and uncivilized]. In the beginning, the Natives pwned the fuck out of the first settlers, which completely confounded the early Americunts in their shitty settlements until they realized that bullets were like kryptonite for people with red skin because they didn't know what the fuck guns were. With all the Injuns exterminated, the Puritans went back to their primitive ways of incest and burning witches, [[USI|believing that the continent was given to them by God]], known as Manifest Destiny (thus setting the foundation for America's violence and foreign policy).

The British realized their error now that the mentally ill criminals they had exiled were [[Incest|reproducing]] at epidemic levels, so the Queen directed the British Navy to reconquer these social rejects and bring them back into line. Britannia righteously enslaved these rednecks to build its rising international status as a superpower, and would have remained that as the British bottom bitches, if it wasn't for the rise of [[Jews|Freemasonry]].

===American Independence: From Christianity to Judaism===

[[Image:JSA.jpg|thumb|[[Jews|Kikes]] annexed [[American Dream|America]] [[At least 100|at least 100 years ago]]]]

Back in Europe, the Jews weren't satisfied in using Adam Smith to invent [[Capitalism|Mercantilism]] and being allowed to create the Bank of England in exchange for funding the Royalty and pwning Oliver Cromwell. The Jews being Jews upped the ante by creating [[Scientology|Freemasonry]], an association of Jewish and Jew-allied [[Atheist]] slaveowners, and because of them, the [[Slavery]] trade was born because [[niggers]] are much cheaper and more resilient than these whiny Puritan retards who begged and cried for independence (bet you didn't know George Washington enslaved both niggers and rednecks for his marijuana plantation, and Thomas Jefferson was a notorious nigger rapist). However, the [[bullshit|honorable]] King George noticed that those atheists were making too much money from the slave trade and, while pissing purple urine, decided to get in on the share as well and raised taxes to 90%... and you know, Jews HATE having lost even the smallest of their [[Jew Gold]] while [[Libertarian|Atheists hate government interference with "MUH PRIVATE ENTERPRISE."]] Jewrge Washington used the classic Freemason [[Bernie Madoff|Pyramid Scheme]] to manipulate the retards in throwing a [[tea party]] in the King’s honor in [[Faggot|Boston]], only to [[troll]] the King by throwing all his precious 10,000 pounds worth of fine Chinese tea to the ocean while shouting "Are thou irate, my king?" [[Trollface|and showing off his ugly wooden teeth]].

Having kicked out the British, George Washington and his fellow Masons decided to create a new Constitution based on the Scientific-Capitalist ideas of Life, Liberty, and [[slavery|Property]], [[Atheist|Separation of Church and State]], [[Attention Whore|Freedom of Expression]] [[Profit]] by any means possible, which enraged rednecks with religious memes like "MUH JESUS" and "MUH BIBLE," to which Jefferson only responded by ripping all of the Bible's references to God or supernatural miracles in front of them like an 18th Century Richard Dawkins (search: the "Jefferson Bible"). The niggers at first celebrated the apparent end of slavery from British taxes, but to their dismay, they discovered that the Constitution only applied to humans... and [[Fact|niggers aren't human]]. The message of this was clear: America is founded on hypocrisy, [[North Korea|a godless totalitarian dystopia pretending to be a God-loving constitutional republic]], where [[niggers]] are still treated as [[Slavery|niggers]] and the "electoral process" is one big scam since you can only "vote" between two wealthy slaveholding Freemasons who pick the candidates for you. For all of its [[Lie|Freedom of Speech]] boasting, once you discover that voting is a fraud and warn everyone about it, say hello to the [[Party Van]].

America is founded on three historical things: War, Entitlement, and Slavery. Entitlement is the democratic right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... only if you are a white, rich Jew. [[Nigger|If]] [[Mexican|you're]] [[Poor|not]], better join Slavery and suffer either lifetime indentured servitude at McDonalds or being thrown into the [[Prison|Zoo]] so fat Jews can gawk at you. War is in that it hasn't gone 5 years without being in one. The USA frequently attacks small countries like [[Afghanistan]], [[Korea]], [[Japan]], [[Italy]], [[Iraq]], and [[Vietnam]] and devastates them, but they frequently get bogged down by the native farmers with their terrifying rocks and pitchforks [[fact|but doesn't have the balls to attack]] a really kickass country, like Canadia, Russizil, or Chinastan. '''{{wikilink|List_of_wars_involving_the_United_States|}}'''. And, no, Nazi Germany doesn't count because we all know it was actually those damn dirty commie [[Russians]] who defeated Hitler.

==Flag==

[[File:Flag of the Jewnited States of Americunts.png|thumb|600px|The flag of the Jewnited States of Americunts.]]

Like the Constitution, the American Flag, or "Flag of America", is subject to continuous alterations, modifications, and outright high contrast edition. Some postulate that, before the Martin-Zimmerman unpleasantness, the Flag consisted of only three colors: Red, representing the Bloods; Blue, representing the Crips; and White representing the [[Caucasoid]] population stuck in the middle of the conflict. After the unpleasantness, white was substituted by Judeo-Peruvian, and eventually the two prodigal ministers of black person, divided into a multitude of ministries with as many colors as the rainbow. The shape of the stars traditionally changes with the fashion and mood of the people representing the flexible nature of American Government and American Government Paraphernalia.

The current motto of America is "Eine Nation unter Allah"

 

==Traits of the Common American==
{{main|Americunt}}
[[Image:America_reading_is_for_faggots.jpg|thumb|7 out of 5 Americans choose not to read [[British]] literature.]]
[[File:Have a good War.jpg|thumb|Americans Love War.]]
[[File:American porn.jpg|thumb|American Porn]]
#[[Retarded|Passive Aggressive]]
#Ironically hates [[freedom]]
#Easily [[Offended|offended]]
#In [[San Francisco|denial]]
#[[Retarded|Stupid]]
#Uses too much fucking [[porn]]
#Watches child porn secretly
#Dirty Minded
#Lover of (their own) [[Fetishes]]
#[[Germans|Hypocrites]]
#[[Police|Stupid Cops that shoot niggers 12 times and claim self defence]]
#Horrible speller
#Can't do Algebra 101
#[[Jew]] lovers and [[Zionists]] like all [[Christfags]]
#Uneducated (spending too much time around [[niggers]])
#[[Fat|FAT]]
#[[Lazy]]
#[[Bronies|Closet Faggots]]
#Keeping their niggers happy by putting them on TV (the niggers are too monkey to realize that)
#[[Jews|Worshippers of money]] (their real [[God]])
#Obsessed with violence they create, while decrying violence done to them.
#[[White Devils|White]] (50-90% of them anyway).
#[[Christian]]...Protestant...Evangelical (mostly the flyover red states).
#100.1% [[Homosexuality|homosexuals]].
#Obsessed with all things [[Lolcat]].
#Overreacts to everything.
#Obsessed with the words shit and fuck, using them almost every minute.
#Loves [[McDonalds]], [[Taco Bell]], and all other fast food "restaurants".
#[[N00bs]].
#Can't live without a [[PS3]](Penis Suckers 3) ,[[Xbox360|a Sexbox ThreeFixMe]] ,[[Facebook]], and [[aids]].
#99.9% angsty, egotistical teen cunts.
#99.9% infected with [[AIDS|STDs]] and [[Autism]].
#Always jealous of [[Asians]].
#Always jealous of [[Canada|Canadians]].
#Always jealous of [[Europe|Europeans]].
#Always jealous of [[Mexico|Mexicans]].
#Always jealous of [[Britain|British accents]].
#Almost jealous of everything.
#[[Fat]].
#Fatter.
#Fattest.
#[[Furries]].
#[[Diabeetus]].
#00.000001% decent, respectable people. However, you'd be more likely to find a snowflake in [[hell]].
#[[Transsexual|Transsexuals]].
#[[Necrophilia|Necrophiliacs]].
#[[Pedophile|Pedophiles]].
#[[Bestiality|Zoophiles]].
#[[Weeaboo|Weeaboos]].
#Minions of Satan.
#[[4chan]] users
#[[Incest|Inbred]].
#Loves 9/11. They even made a hotline out of it.
#Enjoys having the ends of their dicks [[circumcision|snipped off]].
#[[Twilight]] fans.
#[[Justin Bieber|Bieberians]].
#Pregnant [[Teenagers]]
#[[Call of Duty]] fags.
#Prefers to have AIDS rather than education. Because being retarded is the best policy in Dumbfuckistan.
#Drug user (if you can [[Cocaine|snort it]], they have it).
#[[Unwarranted self importance|Think the USA is #1! USA! USA!]]

<center>{{frame|<youtube>FqkFFo3OFoY</youtube>
<center>'''The Creature ''Americuntis homosexualis'' mating call.'''}}</center>

==Citizens==

[[File:Hallucination.jpg|thumb|left|[[Insane|Americans look other nationalities strangely]]]]

===Rednecks===
[[Image:595.jpg|thumb|A typical American Couple and their children.]]
America is filled with scumfuck white trash who widely populate every state from east to west coast. They are the most disgusting and fuck-ugly people you could ever encounter, except of course, for the [[jew]]s. Though the sworn enemy of the American Redneck is the American Nigger, they enjoy many of the same hobbies - such as skipping out on child support, having diabetes and secretly having hawt homo-sex with one another.

This subset of the American population can usually be found in or around:
#McDonald's
#Trailer parks
#Titty bars
#Welfare offices
#Meth labs
#Prisons
#Gay bashings
#Klan rallies
#Churches
#Burning churches
#Front porches
#Anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line
#Semi-trucks
#Sporting events

{{frame|<youtube>if27InJBtEI</youtube>|margin=auto}}

===[[Niggers]]===
[[Image:Thats_racist.gif‎|thumb|lol niggerz]]
There are no black people in America. Black people live in Africa and can actually sometimes be seen as [[LOL WUT|respectable]] if not far more well-spoken than your average American [[Nigger]]. Black people who immigrate from their native African countries to America haaaate the American nigger and rightly sees him as being uncivilized and a waste of flesh. [[Im 12 and what is this|There are also no African American niggers]] because most of their ancestors were already here [[at least 100 years ago]]. It would be like the modern white decedents of Thomas Jefferson calling themselves British American. American niggers are well known for their love of fried chicken, obese white women and outrageously expensive shoes that none of them can afford, but [[Steal|buy]] anyway.

They are commonly found in or around:
#[[Slavery|Plantations]]
#[[Prison|The Zoo]]
#Child Support
#Always broke
#[[Chicago|Ghettos]]
#[[Detroit|The Nigga hood]]
#Basketball Courts
#Crack houses
#Government housing projects
#Liquor stores
#Rap music
#Gun stores
#Welfare offices
#Prisons
#Moar meth labs
#KFC
#Drive-by shootings
#Marijuana
#Beauty parlors (black women spend about 63% of their average lifespan getting their hair done).
#Discount Fleamarkets
#Maury shows
#Beverly Hills, only when they rhyme.
#<s>The White House</s>

===Men===
[[Image:Mudridin.jpg‎|thumb|A fine specimen of the American Male]]
American men are utter scum, which is why most American women find foreign (especially British) men so attractive. ALL American males are secretly gay. You can tell that they are secretly gay by the kinds of activities they participate in to try to make themselves look straight, such as:

#Football - Full body contact with other men.
#Gay bashing - This is the only way they can fulfill their desire to touch a gay man's sexy homo body without seeming gay themselves.
#"Working out" at gyms - Where they get to see other hot, sweaty male bodies, usually scantily clad.
#Wrestling - 'Nuff said.

Traditional American Male Names:

#BillyBob
#JimBob
#Tyrone
#Tyrese
#Cletus
#Bubba
#OJ
#Tre'Shawn
#Jethro
#Otis
#Joe
#Dick
#Sir
#Fatfuck McMantits
#Wilbur

===Women===
[[Image:fatt5.jpg|thumb|An Average Hardworking American She-Whale]]
All American women are ugly, self-absorbed, dirty, cumdumpster whores who love any kind of cock they can get, especially nigger cock, which is why most American men find foreign women (especially [[azn|Asians]]) so attractive. They spend 99% of their time trying to find a nice dick attached to a [[stupid|man]] that's willing to take care of them and buy them things so that they'll never have to lift a finger for themselves or anyone else again. Because of this, American women are known to be some of the dumbest and most air-headed women on the planet since they shun education in favor of <strike>cock</strike> wimmins don't care about teh cock, only [[Jew Gold|Jew Golds]], cock is a bonus.

Traditional American Female Names:
#Jewel
#Tiffany
#Steffany
#[[Sheneequa]]
#Marge Cunt
#Lexi
#Angel
#MaryJo
#MaryJane
#Luanne
#MarySue
#Bitch
#Cunt
#Fat
#Ho
#Apple

== [[TV|Culture]] ==
[[Image:All american breakfast v2.jpg|thumb|left|All American breakfast]]
[[Image:american breakfast.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Rape_by_Anguissette.jpg|thumb|center|Cover art of a booklet that comes with the Green Card.]]
[[Image:Obesitymap.jpg|thumb|People are starving in [[Alabama]]]]
[[Image:Usarulers.jpg|thumb|left|[[Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy|The Illuminati]]]]
[[Image:America_2D.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!]]

There are more than 14900 International Airports in America including the Biggest and Most Culture-filled [https://vigilantcitizen.com/sinistersites/sinister-sites-the-denver-international-airport/ Denver International Airport.]

There are some "highways". A few of them are even "smooth". Anything else is filthy [[communism]] you filthy shitfucker.

Some towns in [[Maine]] and Northern [[Vermont]] are within a few minutes' driving distance to [[Canada]] and [[France|Quebec]], land of moose rapists and free health care lol.

Most Americans however don´t own a passport and consider dining at the Olive Garden an ''exotic cultural experience'' akin to watching a foreign film. [[Conspiracy theorist|Highly-cultured Americans]] don´t own a passport either but might take the tour of the premises of Denver International Airport.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>ryynfuEkZeI</youtube>
<center>'''The National Anthem of the United States of America (1776-2001, 2004-present)'''}}</center>

===WE'RE #1!===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>7R5A0pg4oN8</youtube>
<center>'''The (more patriotic) National Anthem of the United States of America (2001-2004)'''}}</center>
 
[[Image:Number1.png|thumb|center|WE'RE ([[Not]]) NUMBER 1!]]
 
Yanks are brainwashed ignorant simple folk that get told by their owners that America is [[the best]] country [[evar]], despite all evidence to the contrary. To be fair, only 30 or so percent of Americans even own a passport, so "evidence to the contrary" is hard to come by for them.

Americans are programmed from childhood to forget the rest of the world exists so that they don't then look outside Yanksville and realize they are being shafted. This is a government method to ensure the notoriously [[Stupid|dumb]], easily [[Gullible|manipulated yankEE populous]] think everything is just fine so they'll continue to work multiple low paid jobs, be satisfied with what little they have, and never think of doing anything so radical as speaking out against a system that is so obviously using them and just [[W|one fancy mustache away from utter fascism]]. Few citizens are able to remove this programming from their brains, but they are still Yanks, so boo-fucking-who. [[oxymoron|Decent Americans]] should just leave the country before they get raped by the rest of the world one day.

To most [[Americunts]], the only country that exists outside of the United States is the one they are currently at war with. As such, [[Iraq]] is the only country that currently exists to Americans. Some also may know of Afghanistan or Iran, but not so much that they can place them on a map.

Americans display their ignorance of other countries as a badge of [[Crap|nationalistic pride]] [[nazi|patriotic]] obedience.

Examples include:
#[[4kids|Remaking books and films so that everything is set in America.]]
#Never traveling outside of <s>North America</s> whichever state they were born in.
#Believing that the capital of Sweden is IKEA.
#Becoming <s>intentionally</s> [[fat|obese]] to avoid air travel.
#Being really shitty at geography in Trivial Pursuit.
#Believing that anyone outside of America is "weird" and still act as if it was the 19th century (eg., the people of [[Europe]] still wear powdered wigs, engage in duels and occasionally don big, spiky helmets).
#Thinking that having a National Health Service is the equivalent to selling one's soul to the devil because it's 'socialism", despite the fact that it saves the people that the government '''SWORE TO FUCKING PROTECT'''.
#Speaking of socialism, all Americunts have a unquestioning hatred/fear of it. It is unknown why, and an attempts to reason with them or even explain usually lead to [[Party Van|men in black suits in vans]] outside your house, monitoring for "terrorist activity".
#Re-Writing historical events (especially those involving war) so that America becomes the sole protagonist, notably Iconic British events in '''{{wikilink|U-571_(film)|WWII}}''' and Afghanistan (see the new [[Stupid|''Medal of Honour'']]).
#Believing that American law is World Law, this means if they enter any other country the rules don't apply.
#The American people believe that the [[world]] loves America as much as they do, and that everyone in the world would rather be living in [[hell|America]].
#Bitching about gas prices, even though it's more expensive in the rest of the world because other countries don't invade people and genocide races to access petroleum.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>wkQ-mHJzNyY</youtube>
<center>'''American culture takes great pride in its [[Whore|national symbols]].'''}}</center>

===America the Unoriginal===

An important part of American [[plagiarism|identity]] involves stealing other peoples stuff, especially the [[British]], these include:

#Name - United States of America; [[United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland|United Kingdom of Great Britain]]. Questions?. The appropriating the name of the entire continent abusively, makes one of their national symbols is also [[Bullying|abuse]].
#America itself, after [[genocide|genociding]] the native population.
#[[English|English Language]] - which the [[alien|Americunts]] [[epic fail|butcher]] in their squeaky Jew voices and slack-jawed Southern drawls.
#[[Music|Anthem]] - John Smith's British hymn, which Americunts [[DMCA|didnt get permission to borrow]].
#Flag - thieved from British east India flag.
#Pastime - [[Baseball]]. The English invented for [[girls]], not for [[New York Yankees|grown-up rich people in pajamas]].
#[[Army]] recruitment - kiddie fiddler [[pedo|Uncle Sam]] "i want you", [[plagiarism|from]] Lord "(Kitchener) Wants YOU"
#[[Education]] - High school, (John) Harvard University (for immigrants only)
#Old Imperial units - Mile, yards, inches and [[shit]]. In this as in many things, they insist on being different, like some indy faggot in high school.
#Building - US Capitol 1850's built by [[Slavery|Slaves]], ripped off Chris Wren's concrete dome on St Paul's cathedral
#The US constitution, particularly the Bill of Rights, - [[plagiarism|from]] Iroquios Confederancy Agreement. WORD FOR FUCKING WORD. They learned freedom from the same people they called savage.
#[[Internet Law|Common Law]] - English, Trial by Jury - Americunts [[sick fuck|love]] a good lawsuit.
#[[Bullshit|National phrase]] The motto ''Life, Liberty, Happiness'' [[plagiarism|stolen from]] the English philosopher [[John Locke|Locke]] ''"Life, Liberty, Possessions"''.
#Many of the quotes attributed to the Founding Farthers, particularly Benjamin Franklin, were again [[plagiarism|stolen from]] John Locke.
#Claiming they are Irish because one of their great great great great grandparents was. This is like saying you're a fish because you swam at the beach one time.
...ad nauseum.

===American English: The One True Form of English===

[[shit nobody cares about|<strike>For the limey idiots who say "colour" was originally spelled that way: look it up, dipshits. The "ou" dipthong originates from French, around the time of the Normans. The original spelling of "color" is "color," as are almost all Latinate/Grecian words (this discounts words of French origin, but most American spellings stick to French convention of using an "ou"). British dumbasses changed these words to make them appear more Latinate/Grecian by adding the u. Again, look it up, and look somewhere reputable, like a book. Noah Webster, an American dictionary writer, pushed for the American people to return to the correct, classic spelling of this and other words. He also pushed for the proper pronunciation of "schedule" as "skedule," as this is a Grecian word and all other Latinate/Grecian words with "sch" are pronounced "sk." Only Yiddish/Germanic "sch" words are pronounced "sh."

Furthermore, even British linguists state that most American accents (short of the accents which are closer to British accents, like East Coast accents) are closer to the "original" pronunciations of English. Strong vowels, rhoticism, and emphasis on syllables are all believed to be trademarks of Old and Middle English speakers.

And your talk about "y'all" shows how fucking stupid and ignorant you are. This is a Southern custom, you fucking idiot. And at least we don't call cigarettes "fags" you limey cocksuckers.</strike>]]
[[HAHAHA_DISREGARD_THAT,_I_SUCK_COCKS|DISREGARD THAT, AMERICA SUCKS COCKS!!!]]

As you can see by the above display, Americunts will get a raging case of [[butthurt]] if you dare to criticize the way they [[Shit|talk/write]]. In reality, despite so many Americunts wanting to ban anyone from speaking anything other than English in their country, most of them can barely even write their name correctly, let alone pronounce anything with more than three syllables, due to rampant fucktardness in their shithole of a country.

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|l|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>g0rqQ1XM_2A</youtube>
;Official Language
|<youtube>5wSw3IWRJa0</youtube>
;Fucking Brits complaining about American English (as usual)}}
|}}
}}

==American Cuisine==
[[Bullshit|America is world-renowned for it's revolutionary, innovative, affordable, and amazing food]]. The staple diet of the American tribe consists of [[Burger]], [[Taco Bell]], [[McDonalds]], crushed animal bones (see: Jello), feces-infested meats, experimental chemical Frankenstein foods, [https://consumerist.com/2011/07/29/oj-flavor-packs/ zombie fruit], pesticide-laced food crops, high fructose corn syrup, and even more [[tubgirl|savory meals]]! They even have a "cheese product like substance" made of chemical sludge and processed fat, which they call "American cheese"! Whoohoo!!

{{cg||hurl|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Pizza_-_Tempura_Fried_Pizza.jpg|Deep fried, tempura battered pizza, topped with cheese and country gravy!
Image:Bacon_-_Captions_-_Donut_Bacon_Cheeseburger.jpg|A staple American crop.
Image:Bacon_-_Fast_Food_-_Meat_Tornado_-_01.jpg|Meat Tornado
File:Cuisinevaleamerikan.jpg|Typical burger
File:Burger king stacker.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Heartattackgrill.png
File:Pastry Nigger.jpg
File:Grossfood.jpg
File:Burgerfoods.jpg
File:Americaburgerfoodshutle.png
File:Americanbreakfast.jpg
File:Pastry vagina.jpg
File:Americancat.jpg|Even american [[Cats]] are fatasses
File:Americanburgers.jpg|Cuisine
File:Baconburger.png|All-American Burger
File:Burgergag.jpg|americanized BDSM Gag
File:Americancuisine91.jpg
File:Americancuisine8348.jpg
File:Makeburgersgreatagain.jpg
</gallery>
|}}

===[[Obesity]]===
[[Image:Happylard.jpg|300px|right]]
[[Image:fatt2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Tits|FUCK YEAH]]]]
[[Image:Burger.jpg|thumb|left|American porn]]

Since about [[100 years ago]], [[Unfunny|Dumbfuckistan]] has held the title of fattest nation on the planet (Among countries that anyone actually knows about). Indeed, being a massive fucking whale is a deep and cherished part of americunt culture, as now even kids can enjoy diabeetus and harpooning threats starting age 5. '''{{archive|ilWT|This title was recently stolen by Australia last Thursday}}''' (To be taken back after Australia realized they made an error of shifting a decimal place back). Americunts decided the only rational way to counter Australia's dominance over the [[fatty]] title was to expand and export their horrid fastfoods (i.e. McDonalds, [[Burger King]], Krispy Kreme, etc). While Americans claim to enjoy a wide barrage of "fine" cuisine, the rest of the world has consistently dined on healthier fair until the Americunts came along. Seeing that their revenge against the Ausfags was now successfully being implemented, Dumbfuckistan has focused their invasion of fatness upon the rest of the globe.

===Obesity Videos===
 
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|starvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>7_7m5PkeHJo</youtube>
;When an American breaks his diet.
|<youtube>zoljgJqWL7k</youtube>
;A Starving American.
|<youtube>g-snM-JqAW8</youtube>
;American woman trying to set world record for fatness.
|<youtube>LptjsDGli8U</youtube>
;Believe it or not, this is a fetish in America.}}
|}}
}}
 
=== [[Religion]] ===

America has several major religions, ordered by popularity:
#[[Money]]
#[[Television]]
#[[Sports]]
#[[Food]], [[Obesity|hot dogs and hamburgers, to be precise]]

Americans take their religion very seriously, often spending many hours per night deeply immersed in prayer. Or even more if there's something good on or if it's covered in bacon grease.

Besides these primary belief systems, American culture is deeply rooted in a paranoid and self-serving set of superstitions called [[Christianity]]. This superstitious system causes much butthurt and drama amongst the population, especially when used to justify such dumb, unnecessary or just plain insane acts as going to war, erecting ridiculously huge and expensive statues ({{ytlink|Kiu5NY6z3vg|which then gets pwnt by Thor}}), and cramming themselves into huge buildings full of other sticky, sweaty, slack-jawed Americunts every Sunday to compare clothing and talk to/about their imaginary friends.

===[[Engrish|Edumacation]]===

[[Image:Americans_are_clever_and_thinks_that_the_imperial_system_is_better_than_the_metric_system.jpg|thumb|right|Stay classy...]]
[[Image:FatAmericanFlagShirt.jpg|thumb|...but americans [http://www.tysknews.com/Depts/Metrication/trouble_with_the_metric_system.htm doesn't want anything to do with smooth logic]. Palin 2012!]]

Here's a problem in logic:

Proposition A: 

[[lie|Statistics]] show that [[maths|a quarter to a fifth]] of [[republicans|Americans]] think that their President [[obama|Osama Bin Laden]] is a [[Muslim]].

Proposition B: 

People who think Obama is a Muslim are [[texas|terminally retarded]] and shouldn't be allowed near any [[army|weapons]], not even a moderately sharp [[sex|butter]] knife. 

Discuss, with respect to the proposal to build a [[fundie|Mosque]] out of the [[kill it with fire|burned]] remains of the [[9/11]] victims (whilst [[pwn|laughing and doing a little dance]]).
 

=== Something that should be told to every American: ===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>lGYFRzf2Xww</youtube>
<center>'''[[Michael Moore]] has this thing about guns; people shouldn't own them if they don't agree with him-- ooohh, those white folks are Sooo terrible! Meanwhile, His Gross Obeseness wants you and me to pay for all the medical bills his 400 pounds causes him. He's a shameless provocateur that has no answers, only bilious sarcasm, and yet some people seem to think he has "talent."'''}}</center>
 
=== [[Television]] ===

The [[fat|average]] American has an erratic, erotic [[sex|bond]] with their Jew-box. This love for their televisions benefits the Jews, as the kikes use the television and the media they broadcast to gain loyal goyim slaves. Any [[Uncyclopedia|content-rich]] program is acceptable in this moron paradise provided it has no relation to anything going on in the real world or that includes any intellectual content that could possibly fire up one of their two braincells (which would, theoretically, instanty cause a massive stroke and death, which is why they avoid it so avidly). For example, slapstick humor like some guy getting nailed in the balls or a child being hit by a car is generally well-received by critics and the general public; programs about art, science or any sort of history whose title doesn't end in "of the Bible" are not.

In American TV, "if it bleeds, it leads". If it bleeds a lot, set it on fire and stab it, then give it its own show and set it to a laugh track. And can we get some tits in there? Maybe add a sassy black woman in season 2? That'll play ''great'' with the 18 to 35 demo.

Americunts can usually be found watching:

#Programs involving [[Paula Deen|fat southerners showing you how to make an entire Thanksgiving Dinner out of butter.]]
#Programs involving selling a house, [[gay|decorating a house]], cleaning a house, swapping houses or swapping wives.
#Talent shows full of self-absorbed, naive, shallow fags and bimbos that usually have about 0% actual talent.
#So called "reality TV" which involves about as much reality as an acid trip inside a Salvador Dali painting of the Neverland Ranch.
#CSI, CSI:NY, CSI:Miami, CSI:Akron, CSI:Disneyland, NCIS (which everyone only watches for the perky goth chick), and every other mindless carbon-copy cop drama that we've all seen a million times over the past 3 decades.
#An unusually excessive amount of advertising that receives more airtime than the shows themselves and often involve children promoting the products regardless of targeted consumers.
#Recycled pawn-shows that have names which are puns of porn
#Recycled repo shows.
#Fat fucks eating (an American past-time).
#Hundreds of programs about [[Alaska]].
#Fake ass court shows that are about as real as the reality TV on MTV.
#Overplayed reruns of [[The Big Bang Theory]] that you've seen [[over 9000]] times.
#Ex-prisoners saving pit bulls.
#Documentaries that vastly exaggerate the role the USA played in [[WW2]] .

=== [[Sport]] ===
[[Image:Fat fb player.jpg|thumb|[[Handegg]] "poster boy". Are you fat, talentless, devoid of any skill, or cant think for yourself???. Fear not retard, this is the activity for you]]
[[Image:ThrowBat.gif‎|thumb|The correct way to play baseball.]]
'''[[Handegg]]''', (which only Americunts call "[[soccer|football]]") is a sport ONLY played by [[Americunts]] because of the cultural obligation of having invented it; there's no choice. With its use of tights, body armor, under-eye makeup, fanny pack-and-helmet-ensemble (and the [[Buttsex|Quarterback Snap]]), it is the primary recruiting technique for young new homosexuals, as it is a required part of most young men's high school education.

American football is a bizarre game descended from rugby, but with much more padding, helmets, and safety equipment lest the player break a nail. It caters to unskilled, fat non-athletes who can't play real sports. Since Americunts need a break every five seconds, it was tailored for them. If American football didn't suck, it would be played outside the nation in which it was invented, but it's not [[Obvious|because it blows]]. The only football league that hasn't folded like all the others outside America (the low-profile CFL) was culturally imposed by Americunts on those poor Canadians (actually, Canadian "football" is less of a ridiculously boring shitshow than its inbred 'murkan cousin, with fewer rules to protect the quarterback, reduced stoppage of play, playing fields 10 yards longer, 3 "downs" instead of 4, and felonies committed by black players kept at an acceptable minimum).

In the NFL (National Fag Lickers), everyone gets told what to do after every tedious, stop-start, mind-numbingly static, boring play with no skill. If you are unfortunate enough to come across some cable channel this garbage is being shown on, you will inevitably shout [[Fail|"MOVE FFS"]] every twenty seconds, then end the misery and wisely change the channel. It's so boring that scantily-clad cheerleaders are required lest the attention span impaired Americunts get up during the play and go look for nachos.

The rise of professional football was actually part of a somewhat successful and ongoing social engineering program employed by the global oligarchy to disengage man from his own destiny. The program works by essentially shifting a man's tribal focus (i.e. his need to engage in political and social affairs within the group of people to whom they belong) from their families and community to a substitute, "professional" sports team. Once a man has disengaged from his true tribal identity for this substitute, he becomes malleable in a political and social sense and is prone to complacency under despotic leaders. Indicators of this program's success include the overwhelming notion that an appreciation of football is the hallmark of manhood (or rite of passage to), tribal-esque body paint displays, and, of course, the inclusion of [[Oxymoron|alpha-females]] as society inevitably progresses into its dying stages (as in tribal society). Partly due to this success, the global oligarchy has effectively taken over the United States of America and re-branded it more accurately as the Jewnited States of America.

[[TL;DR]]: Americunt "football" is rugby for pussies, with added protection and more [[obese|fat]] and ''especially'' more [[niggers]] which makes the whole fucking sport a failure.

'''[[Baseball]]''' [[Gay|is played with sticks and balls]]. Oddly enough, it's a sport in which a team throws the ball "at" the opponent, more specifically the [[Batman|batter]], who almost always [[fail]]s to strike the ball hard enough for it to fly away to the crowd of fat morons and monopolizing Jews so they can catch it. Strangely, America is not the only country that takes this sport seriously. In one of their most tragic attempts to be more like America, [[Japan]] [[shit nobody cares about|also has their own baseball league]]. [[Fact|There has not been an American baseball player in the past 20 years who hasn't used steroids]].

== Pedophilia ==

[[Pedobear]] is an exclusive 100% American creation. From what has been observed, he can be generally found in [[Florida]] and has little interest to move to any other part of the world (except for vacations to Denmark.) Currently, even toddlers are being exploited by money grubbing American parents to appear TV shows such as Toddlers and Tiaras. Apparently, children don't find such shows entertaining. Guess who does? Pedobear sets his DVR to record the show.

It was Sinclair Lewis who said, "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross." Similarly, Pedobear is usually Americanized to make him more politically correct. A pedobear with the stars and stripes in the background is more likely to be accepted than a pedobear without them.

=== {{archive|NkbOz|Pedobear Stats for USA (Or Why Pedobear is proud to be American)}} ===
{{quote3|

[[Image:SupportAmerica.png|center|thumb|250px|Show your patriotism, faggot!]]

#There are more than [[Over 9000|3 million]] reports of child abuse in the United States every single year.
#In the United States today, it is estimated that one out of every four girls is sexually abused before they become adults.
#The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is now publicly advising parents that infants and young children are “sexual beings“.
#67 percent of all sexual assault victims in America are children.
#The state of Illinois has actually been paying convicted sex offenders to babysit young children.
#20 percent of all child sexual abuse victims are under the age of 8.
#According to researchers, convicted rapists in the United States report that two-thirds of their victims were under 18, and among those cases 58% said that their victims were 12 years old or younger.
#One out of every four teen girls in the United States now has an STD.
#[[Cops|Law enforcement officials]] estimate that about 600,000 Americans and about 65,000 Canadians are trading dirty child pictures online.
#In airports all over the country, many young children are being subjected to “enhanced pat-downs” during which their private parts are touched before they are allowed to get on to their airplanes.
#It is estimated that 500,000 of the babies that will be born this year will be sexually abused before they turn 18.
#Advertising often exploits children. The typical commercials will show some stupid kids promoting some product or service they have no clue on what it is (such as home equity loans, insurance, and even dating sites). They're supposed to make the commercial cute (when in fact the kids are just being annoying twats) so that dumbass consumers will pay for the product or service when in reality, it just causes more kid-fucking.

}}

<big><div align="center" style="text-decoration:blink"> {{archive|Z8Q1f|THE US MILITARY IS CONTROLLED BY NETWORKS OF PEDOPHILES}} </div></big>

{{cg|Pedobear And USA|PedobearAndUSA|center|<gallery perrow="3">
Image:Bearstamp.jpg|USPS Supports Pedobear]
Image:USAbear.png|You've got mail!
Image:TIME pedobear.jpg|TIME approves
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="3">
Image:No-child-left-behind.jpg|Even the Education Department is into it!
Image:451taken.jpg|Notice how American UFOs only abduct loli. They are not interested in abducting senile people.
Image:SupportAmerica.png|Show your patriotism, faggot!
</gallery>}}

== [[Government]] ==

{{quote|Well, imagine you're stuck in a bent over position, and you've got one "member" on your Left side and one "member" on your Right side. Now each of them promises that they'll try and be more gentle than the last guy, but you realize after a while that you're still F**ked.|NonyaZ;Summing it all up}}

[[Image:Vampire Desire.jpg|thumb|Ex-president and current lord of the demon estate [[Castlevania]], [[W]].]]
[[Image:Merkasticker.jpg‎|thumb|Found on a typical American car bumper.]]
[[Image:AmericaFuture.jpg|thumb|The future of America.]]
Known in America as "guv'ment," "gub'ment," "those bloated greedy conservative assholes that waste all our money on war," "those bloated greedy liberal assholes who waste all our money on blacks and Mexicans," or "that thing we all try to ignore." The American government is full of far more drama, lulz and even anti-lulz than any other nation on Earth.

===[[Politics]]===
American politics is like a delicately orchestrated simultaneous MMORPG of Russian roulette, [[Bug Chasers|bug chasing]] and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire played by thousands of obese 5th graders wielding those memory eraser things from Men in Black. Every politician's favorite pastime is blaming their political opposite for being non-partisan while simultaneously refusing to co-operate in return, and most Americans' favorite pastime (if they pay attention to it at all) is to watch this political drama on [[Fox News]](more like Fox JEWS,[[amirite]]?) cheering on their favorite player like it's some sort of soap opera (that could potentially turn us all into dirt-poor slaves IRL). Despite every "United We Stand" bumper sticker you might see on the back of a rust and primer colored pick-up truck, most Americans are [[AIDS|rabidly]] partisan and would rather tie their own daughter up in a sack and throw her in a river than let her date a boy who voted for McCain or kick everyone out of their own church if they voted for Obama. Americans ''love'' to hate those that don't think the same way they do.

Fueling this assault on the sanity of the few self-respecting, decent humans that inhabit scattered corners of this country ([[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|and distracting us all from the ''real'' enemies]]) are the "news" channels ([[Fox News]], [[MSNBC]], etc.) and radio stations and their very vocal and boisterous cast of ultra-partisan super-pundits whom the majority of Americunts regard as [[avatar|avatars]] of God himself, following every word to a [[Tea Party|tea]]. Very little actual news or verifiable fact is ever spewed forth from these wretched cesspits of political ire, which is why it's so horrifying how influential they are to the slobbering masses of brain-dead zombies who revere them.
{{main|Glenn Beck}}
{{main|Alex Jones}}
{{main|Ann Coulter}}
{{main|Bill O'Reilly}}

It is a somewhat well known fact that American politics on the federal level are run in a fashion similar to that of [[professional wrestling]]. Opponents from both the [[Republican|Republican't]] and [[Liberal|Democunt]] parties bash each other to no end during controlled debates to portray some sense of authenticity, and then get dinner together and proceed to engage in acts of sexual magick in accordance with the one true religion of American politicians: Thelema. Belief in this false left/right, Democunt/Republicant dichotomy is almost ubiquitous among residents in both the United States proper as well as those [[Dumbfuckistan]]. While the motives behind these politicians are up for debate, it is widely argued by actual sentient humans living in America that they belong to a secret cabal, such as 'the global oligarchy' or other such shadow governments.

===Judicial System===
[[Image:Americas-prison-population.gif|thumb|United States leads the world with the [[Niggers|Biggest Prison Population.]]]]
[[Image:Denver riots.jpg|thumb| The modern American judicial system in action.]]
America prides itself as having the largest prison population of all countries in the world. For every 100,000 citizens there are 762 prisoners (International Center for Prison Studies). The American government prefers to throw people in jail and have tax payers pay for their food and shelter, instead of making them contributing members of society. The American police force tries its best to maintain America's leadership in having the largest prison population of the world.

It's incredibly easy to get sent to jail in America. If you're ever visiting (or, god forbid, live) in this god-forsaken country, try to avoid these activities:

#Not liking the Jews (IN AMERICA IT IS MANDATORY TO LOVE THE JEWS)and pretty soon THE FAGGOTS !!
#Being black
#Not owning a TV
#Having an opinion
#[https://jonathanturley.org/2010/05/30/maryland-police-again-threaten-citizens-with-arrest-for-filming-them-in-public/ Taking a picture that just happens to have a police officer in it]
#[https://www.ksl.com/article/1444771 Not watering your lawn] (living in a desert where water is scarce is no excuse)
#Looking even remotely like a drug dealer
#Being black
#Going .002mph over the speed limit
#Being black
#Not being fat enough
#[[taxes|Not pandering to the Jews]]
#Being black

American police are also widely known for their propensity toward trigger-happiness. If they even suspect that you might have ever had drugs in your house EVAR, '''{{archive|09I2p|they will fucking kill you, your family and your pets and they will get away with it too.}}''' ('''{{ytlink|JOlqqeDydZ4|1}}''' '''{{wikilink|Killing_of_Kathryn_Johnston|2}}''' '''{{archive|CAQDh|3}}''')

Besides breaking into your house and destroying it and everyone/thing you love, another favorite pastime of American police is to beat the shit out of children:

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|Pedovids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>4N7e2FohN4A</youtube>
;Boy with broken back gets tazed 19 times.
|<youtube>iG5yuaXtYDs</youtube>
;Police pwn 15 year old girl.
|<youtube>EH6AYVn2yw4</youtube>
;Cop assaults and chokes 13 year olds.
|<youtube>wTWJyxkyl3A</youtube>
;Cops beat mentally retarded boy.}}
|}}
}}

===[[9/11]]===
[[File:newversion.png|thumb|What the rest of the world thinks about 9/11.]]

On September 11th [[2001]], a bunch of towelheads took over some planes and smashed them into a couple of towers, in what was to become the best act of trolling ever. In typical fashion, they didn't get the [[war|joke]]. But of course, you already knew this. You and every other sapient creature on the planet, and probably some of the [[niggers|lesser species of ape]]. Why do you know? Because this happened in America. When AMERICANS are attacked, EVERYONE must know. Oh, certainly, roughly 3 times the amount of people killed in that attack die EVERY DAY from preventable, [[AIDS|poverty-related causes]] and far deadlier attacks are carried out in other countries every day, but of course, these people aren't American so they don't really matter. Despite Americans thinking everyone everywhere sounds and acts American, it's only the tr00 Americans that count for shit if they die. To this day one cannot mention the incident in question to an American without them acting TTLY SRS. Despite the consequent death and oppression of [[over 9000|millions]] of completely innocent [[Terrorist|Middle-Eastern]] people, Americans still seem to think THEY are the victims in this affair.

Also, [[Jews did WTC]]. It's a [[fact]]. [[Truth|All of the Jewish workers in the Twin Towers stayed home on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, and not a single Jew died that day]]. All of the Jew-owned manufacturing companies made [[over 9000]] dollars per weapon manufactured after America went to war with [[shit|Eye Rack]], [[fail|even though they had nothing to do with 9/11 at all]]. All of the Jew-owned banks got tons of money from the [[W|government]] during the war, and all of the Jew-owned oil companies made lots of [[money]] once we took all of the oil from the [[arabs|sand nigger]] [[Islam|terrorists]].

===[[Economy]]===
[[Image: United_States_of_Zimbabwe.jpg‎|thumb|Morgenthau Plan in first stages.]]

[[Image: uploadingthis.jpg‎|center|450px]]

[[Fail|The Economy of the United States is based to a large extent on agriculture, with an overwhelmingly rural population, many of whom are engaged in subsistence agriculture.]]

Much like its Eastern counterpart, Egypt, but without the [[isla‎m|culture]], Cotton has always been and will soon revert to being the staple of American economy and way of life. American cotton and [[T-shirt|cotton]] products are recognized Worldwide for their durable fabric, perceived quality, and variety of [[memes‎|leitmotifs]] ideally suited to dress any household's Central American or Filipina servant.

Cotton was introduced by the British as a [[Marijuana‎|Cash Crop]] replacing the Native, unhealthy and less profitable Tobacco. The criminalization of Nicotine, the main active compound in dried tobacco leaves, has been slow but constant until it was finally outlawed for ever after the Nicotine-fuelled Presidential Scandal of 1998.

To pick the Cotton and solve unemployment in Western Africa at the same time, the American Philanthropist Association invited Savage Negroes to the Land of the Free-of-charge. And Free stuff is indeed what they found: The Negroes were kindly taught God's Language, English, and God's Word, the Bible. They were given lifetime employment with full health, education and retirement benefits, as well as housing. As this piece of American Vernacular attests the country was on its way to a pleasant existence

{{quote|Summertime and [[welfare|the living is easy]], Fish are jumping and the Cotton is High|black person}}

But in February 1861 the bloodthirsty [[Jews]] took advantage of Americans' [[KKK|tolerant nature]] and paid for everyone's Mint Juleps at the lobby of the Willard Hotel in Washington D.C. Then the nasty Jews proceeded to sweet-talk everyone into [[Civil War|killing each other for a couple of years]] thus destroying the cotton industry and forsaking the Negroes to their own luck. By this the Hebrews achieved many purposes and commodities: separating the [[Whites|people]] from the [[Negro]]es, Gentile blood to prepare their Kiddush Wine and the creation of [[Republican|a proxy Hebrew party to infiltrate Government]], but mainly keeping prices of Egyptian Cotton at Jewishly desirable levels.

Nowadays, as the aftermath of the War of Jewish Aggression is slowly fading, cotton accounts for 86% of the American GDP with the remaining 70% coming from Hemp farming. [[Hypocrisy|Conveniently]] the Federal Government created a [[War_on_drugs|statistical loophole]] to avoid the ordeal of dividing by zero. Hemp, cultivated more for its flower buds than its strong fiber (as not to compete with cotton), has already replaced Tobacco or Apples as the country's main cash crop, albeit destined exclusively for the domestic market.

A country of [[Democrat|Farmers]] and [[Homosexual|Ranchers]], and [[Negro|their dependants]], America is in the process of shaking the last [[New_York|yoke of Jewish oppression]] off its Christian neck. For unlike the Jew's, [[God|HIS]] Yoke is easy and [[God|HIS]] burden is light (Matthew 11:30).

===Federal Reserve===
[[Image: Federal-Reserve-Private-Banking-Cartel-Ponzi.jpg‎|thumb|Federal Reserve: the private banking cartel loans money to enslave Americans with excessive debt..]]
The Federal Reserve is a private banking cartel run by [[Jews]] which masquerades as a governmental body. It was created in 1913 to finance and manipulate America's addiction to overspending for entitlement programs, warfare and McDonald's. The Fed stands above American law, because it's accountable to nobody, except [[Israel]].

This cartel of private banks prints dollars for a few cents per piece, then loans it to the American government at full-face value. Consequently, the American government gradually drowns in a sea of debt. Meanwhile, the international private banker [[Jews]] profit from the interest payments on the rising loans.

The international private banker [[Jews]] diabolical master-plan is to enslave American people through complete bankruptcy, then create a totalitarian regime in North-America, and gradually buy up the rest of the world for a despotic Global Government. Their end goal is to enslave all gentiles, and microchip them like cattle into obedience under the guidance of a global police state. It took [[zeitgeist|a freaking documentary]] for the American Neanderthal economists plus a legion of super nerds to comprehend the national debt's dangerous implications - even as [https://mises.org/library/money-banking-and-federal-reserve-complete-transcript rogue Austrian Jews] and '''{{archive|te3yZ|even some Native Gentiles}}''' were warning us of it since the beginning.

===The Gubmint's Allies===

The United States is allied with the Jews and the Wahabi/Salafi Scum from Saudi Arabia and as a result funded ISIS to take over the Europe for the muslims and Middle East for the jews.

<center>[[File:America Jews and Islam.jpg|500px]]</center>

==[[Military]]==

[[Image:Supportourtroops.jpg‎|185px|right]]
[[Image:TERRORIST!.JPEG|thumb|The current threat Americunt faces. THEY'RE FUCKING [[House|EVERYWHERE!!]]]]
[[Image:MurrikaworldmapNegro.gif|thumb|{{colortext|darkblue|[[Blue]]}} denotes Murrika. {{colortext|#CC2200|[[Red]]}} denotes Niggertown. In Niggertown, they hate freedom.]]
[[Image:USA_complex.jpg|thumb|]]

The [[Army|U.S Military]], which couldn't win their way out of a wet paper bag with guns in their hands, is a bunch of [[homosexual|homo]] fags that are too stupid for college, too lazy for a real job, or trying to avoid prison. These [[retard]]s are actually trusted with guns and [[bomb]]s, which has resulted in an American invention known as "friendly fire". This event only occurs when they're around and basically consists of a [[fucktard]] shooting someone on their own side and going "sorry you had a gun and I just freaked out." Every time an American soldier accidentally shoots his buddy in the face, a Muslim terrorist gets another heavenly virgin (two if they do it on purpose!). Americans only have the balls to attack others when they are armed to the teeth and traveling in numbers. When captured alone, they are far from John Rambo and simply get beheaded on YouTube.

The US Army also perpetrated Operation Oilraqi Freedumb, the dumbest military maneuver since the Maginot Line. In Op Oilraqi Faildumb, Halliburton's military wing spent a trillion dollars invading a country with no military and lost. The US Military likes to scare brown people with their enormous budget, but in reality, criminally insane politicians steal and waste 95% of it on shit that doesn’t work and nobody wants.

America also enjoys firing at British troops and bombing British tanks. This has gone back as far as the Second World War, as shown in a British wartime joke; "When the Germans shoot, the British duck." When the British shoot, the Germans duck. When the Americans shoot, EVERYONE ducks!". It should be noted that this joke is a good example of American ignorance. The reason friendly fire is higher among American forces is because they're retarded and poorly trained. Others have argued that they are just flat-out retarded. Since America's army exploits every country, they build huge rockets to watch the pretty colors, but then they discovered that they actually kill people when a guy thought he could reach the moon on one and failed, which resulted in the modern nuclear bomb.

[[Lie|The main problem with the United States Army seems to be the inability to aim or co-ordinate any form of attack that doesn't consist of blindly shooting until you hit something.]] This is not helped by the high incest rate of America, which results in a low IQ and a fleeting attention span. Training in the American army generally consists of having your head shaved and being able-bodied enough to hold a gun, whereas other more traditional armies persist with the idea of teaching people how to use their weapons, something America did away with some time ago.

'''Fun fact:''' Many people believe [[New Jersey]], [[Massachusetts]] and [[California]] are the US's next targets as [[LOL WUT|they are all violating the US's strict "no freedom allowed" policy]].

=== [[Shit|Experimental Weapons]] ===
[[Some argue|Everyone knows]] that the Americunt special/biological/experimental/homosexual weapons division is responsible for:

*[[Half Life | The Black Mesa disaster]]
*Supermutants
**[[portal|and subsequently,insane robots]]
*Atomic bombs
*Aliens
*Supersoldiers
*[[Bullshit|Religion]]
*[[Satan Claus]]
*[[Homosexuality]], and subsequently
*[[AIDS]]

<center>{{frame|<youtube>AtVSzU20ZGk</youtube>
<center>'''American weaponry at its finest'''}}</center>

===Military Intelligence===

<center><gallery>
Image:Abraham Lincoln cyborg.jpg‎|The US has a long history of superior firepower.
Image:Imminent explosive penetration of vagina by penis.jpg|Pretty much the whole idea behind any war America starts.
Image:C86945b5fdc08dc8604b840052ddd12219a7cbc8 m.jpg|Abu Graib was a much classier place than the Jew media said it was.
Image:GunDoingItWrong.jpg|American soldier demonstrating the correct way to use his weapon.
Image:Military_-_Boob_Inspection.jpg|All [[dyke|female soldiers]] must go through a routine breast exam before leaving for combat.
Image:Funny-iraq-us-soldier-pics-12.jpg|Every time a nigra fucks a camel another Iraqi is born.
Image:Idiot soldier.jpg|A US soldier demonstrating the military's trademark sensitivity for delicate cultural situations to some Iraqi children.
Image:Xxlcock-08.jpg|An unknown bonus to overturning "Don't Ask; Don't Tell" is that pants became optional.
</gallery></center>

== List of American Wars ==

For the 240+ years that Dumbfuckistan has been a country, 219 of them were spent waging wars. That means Americunts have only gone 21 years without going apeshit on people with bigger dicks than them.

'''Year-by-year Timeline of America’s Major Wars (1776-2017)'''

1776 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamagua Wars, Second Cherokee War, Pennamite-Yankee War

1777 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Second Cherokee War, Pennamite-Yankee War

1778 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1779 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1780 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1781 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1782 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1783 – American Revolutionary War, Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War

1784 – Chickamauga Wars, Pennamite-Yankee War, Oconee War

1785 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1786 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1787 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1788 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1789 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1790 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1791 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1792 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1793 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1794 – Chickamauga Wars, Northwest Indian War

1795 – Northwest Indian War

1796 – No major war

1797 – No major war

1798 – Quasi-War

1799 – Quasi-War

1800 – Quasi-War

1801 – First Barbary War

1802 – First Barbary War

1803 – First Barbary War

1804 – First Barbary War

1805 – First Barbary War

1806 – Sabine Expedition

1807 – No major war

1808 – No major war

1809 – No major war

1810 – U.S. occupies Spanish-held West Florida

1811 – Tecumseh’s War

1812 – War of 1812, Tecumseh’s War, Seminole Wars, U.S. occupies Spanish-held Amelia Island and other parts of East Florida

1813 – War of 1812, Tecumseh’s War, Peoria War, Creek War, U.S. expands its territory in West Florida

1814 – War of 1812, Creek War, U.S. expands its territory in Florida, Anti-piracy war

1815 – War of 1812, Second Barbary War, Anti-piracy war

1816 – First Seminole War, Anti-piracy war

1817 – First Seminole War, Anti-piracy war

1818 – First Seminole War, Anti-piracy war

1819 – Yellowstone Expedition, Anti-piracy war

1820 – Yellowstone Expedition, Anti-piracy war

1821 – Anti-piracy war (see note above)

1822 – Anti-piracy war (see note above)

1823 – Anti-piracy war, Arikara War

1824 – Anti-piracy war

1825 – Yellowstone Expedition, Anti-piracy war

1826 – No major war

1827 – Winnebago War

1828 – No major war

1829 – No major war

1830 – No major war

1831 – Sac and Fox Indian War

1832 – Black Hawk War

1833 – Cherokee Indian War

1834 – Cherokee Indian War, Pawnee Indian Territory Campaign

1835 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Second Creek War

1836 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Second Creek War, Missouri-Iowa Border War

1837 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Second Creek War, Osage Indian War, Buckshot War

1838 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars, Buckshot War, Heatherly Indian War

1839 – Cherokee Indian War, Seminole Wars

1840 – Seminole Wars, U.S. naval forces invade Fiji Islands

1841 – Seminole Wars, U.S. naval forces invade McKean Island, Gilbert Islands, and Samoa

1842 – Seminole Wars

1843 – U.S. forces clash with Chinese, U.S. troops invade African coast

1844 – Texas-Indian Wars

1845 – Texas-Indian Wars

1846 – Mexican-American War, Texas-Indian Wars

1847 – Mexican-American War, Texas-Indian Wars

1848 – Mexican-American War, Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War

1849 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians

1850 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Yuma War, California Indian Wars, Pitt River Expedition

1851 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, Yuma War, Utah Indian Wars, California Indian Wars

1852 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Yuma War, Utah Indian Wars, California Indian Wars

1853 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Yuma War, Utah Indian Wars, Walker War, California Indian Wars

1854 – Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians

1855 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Cayuse War, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Yakima War, Winnas Expedition, Klickitat War, Puget Sound War, Rogue River Wars, U.S. forces invade Fiji Islands and Uruguay

1856 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, California Indian Wars, Puget Sound War, Rogue River Wars, Tintic War

1857 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, California Indian Wars, Utah War, Conflict in Nicaragua

1858 – Seminole Wars, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Mohave War, California Indian Wars, Spokane-Coeur d’Alene-Paloos War, Utah War, U.S. forces invade Fiji Islands and Uruguay

1859 Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, California Indian Wars, Pecos Expedition, Antelope Hills Expedition, Bear River Expedition, John Brown’s raid, U.S. forces launch attack against Paraguay, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1860 – Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Paiute War, Kiowa-Comanche War

1861 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign

1862 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign, Dakota War of 1862,

1863 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Southwest Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign, Colorado War, Goshute War

1864 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Cheyenne Campaign, Colorado War, Snake War

1865 – American Civil War, Texas-Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Colorado War, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War

1866 – Texas-Indian Wars, Navajo Wars, Apache Wars, California Indian Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Red Cloud’s War, Franklin County War, U.S. invades Mexico, Conflict with China

1867 – Texas-Indian Wars, Long Walk of the Navajo, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Red Cloud’s War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War, U.S. troops occupy Nicaragua and attack Taiwan

1868 – Texas-Indian Wars, Long Walk of the Navajo, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Snake War, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Red Cloud’s War, Comanche Wars, Battle of Washita River, Franklin County War

1869 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War

1870 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War

1871 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Franklin County War, Kingsley Cave Massacre, U.S. forces invade Korea

1872 – Texas-Indian Wars, Apache Wars, Utah’s Black Hawk War, Comanche Wars, Modoc War, Franklin County War

1873 – Texas-Indian Wars, Comanche Wars, Modoc War, Apache Wars, Cypress Hills Massacre, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1874 – Texas-Indian Wars, Comanche Wars, Red River War, Mason County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1875 – Conflict in Mexico, Texas-Indian Wars, Comanche Wars, Eastern Nevada, Mason County War, Colfax County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1876 – Texas-Indian Wars, Black Hills War, Mason County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1877 – Texas-Indian Wars, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Black Hills War, Nez Perce War, Mason County War, Lincoln County War, San Elizario Salt War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1878 – Paiute Indian conflict, Bannock War, Cheyenne War, Lincoln County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1879 – Cheyenne War, Sheepeater Indian War, White River War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1880 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1881 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1882 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1883 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1884 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1885 – Apache Wars, Eastern Nevada Expedition, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1886 – Apache Wars, Pleasant Valley War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1887 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1888 – U.S. show of force against Haiti, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1889 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1890 – Sioux Indian War, Skirmish between 1st Cavalry and Indians, Ghost Dance War, Wounded Knee, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1891 – Sioux Indian War, Ghost Dance War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1892 – Johnson County War, U.S. forces invade Mexico

1893 – U.S. forces invade Mexico and Hawaii

1894 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1895 – U.S. forces invade Mexico, Bannock Indian Disturbances

1896 – U.S. forces invade Mexico

1897 – No major war

1898 – Spanish-American War, Battle of Leech Lake, Chippewa Indian Disturbances

1899 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1900 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1901 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1902 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1903 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1904 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1905 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1906 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1907 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1908 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1909 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1910 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1911 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1912 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars

1913 – Philippine-American War, Banana Wars, New Mexico Navajo War

1914 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico

1915 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico, Colorado Paiute War

1916 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico

1917 – Banana Wars, World War I, U.S. invades Mexico

1918 – Banana Wars, World War I, U.S invades Mexico

1919 – Banana Wars, U.S. invades Mexico

1920 – Banana Wars

1921 – Banana Wars

1922 – Banana Wars

1923 – Banana Wars, Posey War

1924 – Banana Wars

1925 – Banana Wars

1926 – Banana Wars

1927 – Banana Wars

1928 – Banana Wars

1930 – Banana Wars

1931 – Banana Wars

1932 – Banana Wars

1933 – Banana Wars

1934 – Banana Wars

1935 – No major war

1936 – No major war

1937 – No major war

1938 – No major war

1939 – No major war

1940 – No major war

1941 – World War II

1942 – World War II

1943 – Wold War II

1944 – World War II

1945 – World War II

1946 – Cold War (U.S. occupies the Philippines and South Korea)

1947 – Cold War (U.S. occupies South Korea, U.S. forces land in Greece to fight Communists)

1948 – Cold War (U.S. forces aid Chinese Nationalist Party against Communists)

1949 – Cold War (U.S. forces aid Chinese Nationalist Party against Communists)

1950 – Korean War, Jayuga Uprising

1951 – Korean War

1952 – Korean War

1953 – Korean War

1954 – Covert War in Guatemala

1955 – Vietnam War

1956 – Vietnam War

1957 – Vietnam War

1958 – Vietnam War

1959 – Vietnam War, Conflict in Haiti

1960 – Vietam War

1961 – Vietnam War

1962 – Vietnam War, Cold War (Cuban Missile Crisis; U.S. marines fight Communists in Thailand)

1963 – Vietnam War

1964 – Vietnam War

1965 – Vietnam War, U.S. occupation of Dominican Republic

1966 – Vietnam War, U.S. occupation of Dominican Republic

1967 – Vietnam War

1968 – Vietnam War

1969 – Vietnam War

1970 – Vietnam War

1971 – Vietnam War

1972 – Vietnam War

1973 – Vietnam War, U.S. aids Israel in Yom Kippur War

1974 – Vietnam War

1975 – Vietnam War

1976 – No major war

1977 – No major war

1978 – No major war

1979 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan)

1980 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan)

1981 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), First Gulf of Sidra Incident

1982 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), Conflict in Lebanon

1983 – Cold War (Invasion of Grenada, CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), Conflict in Lebanon

1984 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua), Conflict in Persian Gulf

1985 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua)

1986 – Cold War (CIA proxy war in Afghanistan and Nicaragua)

1987 – Conflict in Persian Gulf

1988 – Conflict in Persian Gulf, U.S. occupation of Panama

1989 – Second Gulf of Sidra Incident, U.S. occupation of Panama, Conflict in Philippines

1990 – First Gulf War, U.S. occupation of Panama

1991 – First Gulf War

1992 – Conflict in Iraq

1993 – Conflict in Iraq

1994 – Conflict in Iraq, U.S. invades Haiti

1995 – Conflict in Iraq, U.S. invades Haiti, NATO bombing of Bosnia and Herzegovina

1996 – Conflict in Iraq

1997 – No major war

1998 – Bombing of Iraq, Missile strikes against Afghanistan and Sudan

1999 – Kosovo War

2000 – No major war

2001 – War on Terror in Afghanistan

2002 – War on Terror in Afghanistan and Yemen

2003 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, and Iraq

2004 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2005 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2006 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2007 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, and Yemen

2008 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2009 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2010 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen

2011 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, and Yemen; Conflict in Libya (Libyan Civil War)

2012 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Syria and Yemen

2013 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Syria and Yemen

2014 – War on Terror in Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Syria and Yemen; Civil War in Ukraine

2015 – War on Terror in Somalia, Somalia, Syria and Yemen; Civil War in Ukraine

2016 - War in Syria

2017 - War in Syria

== America The Evil Empire, II.==

Here's some potent historical medicine: The US is responsible directly and indirectly for '''tens of millions of deaths''' in [[at least 100|the last 100 years]] '''alone'''. Now, over the last century, the US government has been providing (and continues to) financial assistance, education, arms, military training and technical support to the following dictatorships/authoritarian regimes across the world:

'''Latin America:'''

#Porfirio Díaz (Mexico) (1876–1911)
#Institutional Revolutionary Party (Mexico) (1929–2000)
#Juan Vicente Gómez (Venezuela) (1908–35)
#Manuel Estrada Cabrera (Guatemala) (1898–1920)
#Jorge Ubico (Guatemala) (1931–44)
#Fulgencio Batista (Cuba) (1952–59)
#Rafael Trujillo (Dominican Republic) (1930–61)
#Efraín Ríos Montt and the rest of the military junta in Guatemala (1954–86)
#Revolutionary Government Junta of El Salvador (1979–82)
#Hugo Banzer (Bolivia) (1971–78)
#National Reorganization Process (Argentina) (1976–83)
#Brazilian military government (1964–85)
#Somoza family (Nicaragua) (1936–79)
#François Duvalier (Haiti) (1957–71)
#Jean-Claude Duvalier (Haiti) (1971–86)
#Omar Torrijos (Panama) (1968–81)
#Manuel Noriega (Panama) (1983–89)
#Alfredo Stroessner (Paraguay) (1954–89)
#[[Augusto Pinochet]] (Chile) (1973–90)

'''Asia:'''

#Syngman Rhee (South Korea) (1948–60)
#Park Chung-hee (South Korea) (1961–79)
#Chun Doo-Hwan (South Korea) (1979-88)
#Ngo Dinh Diem (South Vietnam) (1955–63)
#Lon Nol (Cambodia) (1970–75)
#Yahya Khan (Pakistan) (1971)
#Mohammad Reza Pahlavi (Iran) (1941–79)
#Ferdinand Marcos (Philippines) (1965–86)
#Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq (Pakistan) (1978–88)
#[[Saddam Hussein]] (Iraq) (1982–90)
#Suharto (Indonesia) (1967–98)
#Truong Tan Sang (Vietnam) (2011–present)
#Islam Karimov (Uzbekistan) (1990–present)
#Pervez Musharraf (Pakistan) (1999–2008)
#Ali Abdullah Saleh (Yemen) (1990–2012)
#Emomalii Rahmon (Tajikistan) (1994–present)
#Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow (Turkmenistan) (2006–present)
#House of Saud (Saudi Arabia) (1945–present)
#Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa (Bahrain) (1999–present)
#Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani (Qatar) (1995-2013)
#Qaboos bin Said al Said (Oman)
#Hashemite Dynasty (Jordan) (1951–present)
#United Arab Emirates (1994–present)

'''Africa:'''

#King Hassan II, predecessors and successors (Morocco) (1777-present)
#Gaafar Nimeiry (Sudan) (1969–85)
#Samuel Doe (Liberia) (1980–90)
#[[Apartheid]] South Africa (1948–94)
#Meles Zenawi (Ethiopia) (1991–2012)
#Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo (Equatorial Guinea) (1979–present)
#Mobutu Sese Seko (Democratic Republic of the Congo) (1965–97)
#Hissène Habré (Chad) (1982–90)
#Hosni Mubarak (Egypt) (1981-2011)
#Idriss Déby (Chad) (1990–present)
#Yoweri Museveni (Uganda) (1986–present)
#Zine El Abidine Ben Ali (Tunisia) (1987–2010)
#Paul Kagame (Rwanda) (2000–present)

'''Europe:'''

#[[Francisco Franco]] (Francoist Spain) (1936–75).
#Greek military junta (1967–74)
#António de Oliveira Salazar (Portugal) (1932-74)
#Turkish military junta (Turkey) (1980-91)

Everywhere the US has stepped foot in the last 214 years of its virtually unbroken stream of war, it has '''DESTABILIZED''' and '''DOMINATED''' nations, virtually eliminating democracy by engaging in elite terrorist activities, the intended consequence of which is the creation of droves of commercial terrorists. The US is a terrorist-manufacturing apparatus of a scope & scale that has no counterparts in human history. '''{{wikilink|United_States_involvement_in_regime_change|}}'''

== Murica and Its Fuck Buddies Wage War on [[Iran]]==
[[File:Iran_Raping_Israel.jpg|thumb|400px|America and its [[Bitches|allies]] are afraid that [[Holocaust|the greatest lulzfest ever might happen again]] to their [[Jews Control The Media|Jewish Masters]] if Iran develops [[Shoop Da Whoop| NUCLEAR WEAPONS]]!!]]

[[File:MittRomney_Rape_Face.jpg|thumb|left|200px| This is [[Mitt Romney]]`s insidious [[Trollface|rape face]] as he fantasizes over raping Iran with Amurika`s [[Sex toys|WEAPONS OF WARR]]!!!]]

Like an out-of-control international, [[Edarem| serial rapist]], America and its [[BDSM]] buddies, the [[Eurofags]], are allegedly suffering from too much chronic [[butthurt]] caused by Iran's ever growing [[Rape|nuclear]] capacity. They are afraid that [[Epic Win| the Poorsians will use their future nukes to wipe out the festering shitstain known as Israel off the map]].

[https://www.globalresearch.ca/israel-admits-that-iran-does-not-have-a-nuclear-weapons-program/28726 In actuality, the Americans have no concentrate proof that Iran is actually developing nuclear weapons]. Even if Iran is developing [[Dildos|nuclear armaments]], [[Holocaust| cleaning up the festering Kike infestation known as Israel would probably be good for the world!]] The truth is American doesn't actually give a [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]] fuck about Iran's nuclear program (besides the fact that America has to protect its [[Jewish]] overlords in [[Israel]] from the scary Persians!). They actually want to invade Iran just to satisfy their insatiable urge to shove their [[Bombs|military cocks]] down [[DAT ASS| another brown-person country's ass]] (since raping [[Iraq]] beforehand wasn't enough to satisfy Amurikans horny military libido). The epic result would be some [[Cum|nice, black, gooey oil]] coming out of Iran's sorely penetrated arse!

[[Truth| Too bad pwning Iran IRL for the American Spartans isn't going to be anywhere as easy as the 300 Spartans pwning the Puuu-rrrrrsians.]] The funny thing is that many [[Idiots| Amurikan soldiers]] don`t think that.

Yep they think Iran is going to be another easy military-rape victim as I-Rack. [https://www.thedailybeast.com/newt-gingrich-mitt-romney-and-gop-forget-iraq-mistake-in-push-for-iran-war Bad idea, dumbfucks!]

==[[Fact]]s about America==

Control, corruption, and the pursuit of stupidity. A look into some interesting factoids of the world's most embarrassing mess of a country:

#Virtually every American believes that, despite a corporate owned government, a deadweight economy, monstrous levels of prejudice and discrimination, rampant obesity, patent hypocrisy, a two-class society, cable news, growing politicization, and spray-on cheese, that this is the greatest country to ever exist. [[no|How cute]].
#In America, everyone is fat and ugly and horrifically ignorant.
#The US constitution is a checklist of privileges the government is going to take away from you.
#50% of Americans don't know the nearest star is called "the sun", how far away that star is, or how long it takes for the earth to travel around it.
#In America, it is wrong to criticize anyone based on their weight - even if they weigh over 500 fucking pounds.
#90% of Americans know that in WWII 6 million jews died, but have no idea how many Americans.
#In entry to America, your IQ drops 20 points and your waistline expands 20 inches.
#In America you can get a pizza delivered to your house faster than you can get an ambulance.
#The USA and the PRC are different in name only.
#In America, you MUST love the [[Jews]] or else you're a Nazi.
#In America, [[niggers]] are either sent to prison, or the Presidency.
#In America, serial killers have fan clubs.
#In America, there are more fat people than there are people.
#In America, when a group of [[911|muslims kill civilians]], they are called cowards. When an American soldier kills civilians, they are called heroes.
#In America, they'll tell you to "git out of America if you don't like it", even if you aren't in America. However It's illegal to commit suicide and you'll get shot if you do try to cross the border OUT. Truth be told you can't leave America if the government doesn't want you to.
#In America, people think that the reason they didn't win the lottery is because they didn't pray hard enough.
#In America, people get in their cars and drive to their mailbox.
#In America, all women believe they are entitled to date a 6 foot tall, millionaire fireman with two PhD's and a 10 inch dick.
#In America, all men think they are entitled to date a borderline anorexic supermodel with tits bigger than her head and a PhD in sucking what's left of their dick.
#In America, you must side with the opposite party of the president, and you'll have to change your political party every time a different president gets into office.
#In America, the sacred right of voting is so important you must wait until you are an adult of 18 to exercise it, but you have to be 21 to drink a beer.
#In America, it is mandatory to despise anyone who doesn't vote for a bought-and-paid scumbag politician.
#In America, they believe that voting will make a difference and that letting others choose for them somehow makes their votes more powerful.
#In America, there is no bigger sin than not owning a television.
#In America, media figures calling Obama a "[[truth|Nazi communist fascist Muslim Antichrist]]" are taken seriously.
#In America they have drive-through ATMs with braille lettering.
#In America there are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
#In America, men believe [[Circumcision|removing 40% of the penis (roughly five hundred thousand nerves)]] will somehow not lessen sensation.
#In America, the military advertises in the help wanted section.
#In America anyone with a Spanish name is instantly demoted to "dirty brown Mexican" status regardless of how [[European|cold, bland, and pasty]] he or she may actually be.
#When traveling abroad, most Americans believe that the native population of whatever country they are visiting should speak perfect and unaccented English, even though the only thing they themselves know how to say in the native language is "Where's the bathroom?"
#In many countries in the world, people don't make enough money to eat. In America, people pay money to lose weight.
#In America, it's common to see a single person driving around in a giant truck/SUV that can easily seat 20 people and only gets 6 miles to the gallon.
#In America, having a huge, noisy, gas-guzzling vehicle makes other Americans think your penis is HUGE.
#In America, working 20 hours a week longer than the average European to uphold an equal lifestyle is seen as a virtue.
#In America, people with no health insurance rabidly protest the government wanting to give everyone health insurance.
#In America, if you question them dumping toxic chemicals into the food and water supply, they'll call you a dirty hippy and beat the shit out of you.
#In America, writing on the sidewalk with chalk is considered destruction of public property.
#In America, they don't know that the Film Harry Potter is in English.
#In America, You must Hate Arabs with all your soul and heart, or they'll think you're a traitor that needs to die.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you if you believe people shouldn't have the right to spew out a hoard of screaming brats.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you if you admit to being an atheist.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for being a fag.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for wearing a turban.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for being more free than the average free man.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for pointing out their hypocrisy, use logic and reality to prove them wrong, win an argument against them, or for telling the truth.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for talking shit about their beloved taxes.
#In America, everyone is convinced USA won WWII, despite every serious historian knowing that USSR defeated the Reich, Americans just came over Europe to loot what's left before Soviets could.
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for pointing that the real reason of the end of the Cold War was a through systemic defences induced implosion of the Communism, so its historically incorrect to say the USA won the Cold War, actually the most US-Americans think that only because they are uneducated.
#The average penis size of men (of all racial backgrounds, including [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|blacks]]) in the USA is only 5.1", the lowest on the American Double-Continent; probably due to unhealthy food.
#The USA waging a war against [[Islam|Terrorism]] and for Democracy, but ironically they are allied with [[Saudi Arabia]], a totalitarian state which supports Terrorism
#The USA had always supported (in Southern Vietnam, in Chile, in Indonesia), and nowadays still support Dictatorships and repressive regimes, an other instance of their hypocrisy
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for talking about their lost (in Vietnam, in Afghanistan ect.) or their power political and economical motivated wars and military interventions (the Yugoslavian Wars, the War in Iraq or the Military Intervention in Libya)
#US-Americans are to stupid and/or to uneducated to realize that USA is not a Democracy any more
#In America 400,000 people die every year from the effects of obesity
#In America, they'll fucking murder you for talking about the Human Rights Violations, War Crimes and Crimes against Humanity committed by their Military
#In America, they'll just fucking murder you, okay?

==USA-Russian Relations==
[[File:Russiawantswar.jpg|thumb|500px]]

[[Russia]], America's evil [[lie|commie]] rival, is well known for being a [[irony|terrorist country in the modern era]]. Both superpowers have vastly different goals;

America works to make the world [[bullshit|a better place]] by:

#Instilling and Supporting the rise of democracy, by destabilizing Democratic countries and installing Dictators.
#Making once-great countries into terrorist shitholes; See: [[Syria]], [[Iraq]], [[Afghanistan]].
#Using Political Assassins to murder people trying to get anything good done.
#Imprisoning the most people in the world, while trying to say its' the freest place.
#Murdering its own citizens.
#Censoring and [[NSA|spying]] on its citizens.
#Electing idiots like [[Reagan]] and [[Dubya|Bush]].

However, Russia works [[for the lulz|for the devil]] by:

#Instilling Traditionalist values, such as [[Divide by Zero|making women not act like whores]].
#Invading [[lie|innocent]], perfectly peaceful countries for the lulz.
#Fighting against [[redundant|Homosexual faggotry]].
#Hax0ring teh US intarwebz. Again, for the lulz.
#[[irony|Trading with China]].
#Beating up the members of attention-whoring and a-political Pseudo-Oppositionist Feminazi Band [[Pussy Riot]]. Good job.
#Being evil Commie Atheist scum; even though most Russians are right-wing and very religious.

==Trolling Americans==
#Point out their obesity statistics
#Ask why American teens' role models are all either [[sluts]] or [[niggers]]
#Mention the [[Vietnam War]]
#Ask when the last [[School Shooting]] was
#[[Le_56_Face|Point out that they have the lowest percentage of white people in the Western world]]
#Further shame them by informing them that official US census data defines [https://newsfeed.time.com/2012/09/07/egyptian-immigrant-wants-to-be-reclassified-as-black/ anyone from the Middle East and North Africa as "white"]
#Tell them the Americans joined last second and made no meaningful contributions in Europe in both World Wars
#Ask a geography question
#Criticize their ancestors for wiping out the Native Americans
#Speak a language other than English
#Ask why, if they are white, their closest allies are [[Jews]] and [[sand niggers]]
#Mention the Iraq war
#Tell them [[China|a communist country]] is now the largest economy
#Ask why they are the only country outside of [[Africa]] without free health care
#Tell them all meaningful American inventions were made by immigrants
#Ask why American soldiers raped so many Japanese women during World War II
#[[Edward Snowden|Leak government secrets showcasing how shitty the country is]]
#Say Tim Berners-Lee's invention of the World Wide Web was more important than the invention of the internet
#Ask why they are the only country (apart from [[Shit no one cares about|two irrelevant third world countries]]) to not use the metric system
#Tell them the Soviet Union won the Space Race

==The Pinnacle of [[oxymoron|American Intellectuals]]==
 
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==A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN==

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

#The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
#Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
#July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
#You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
#Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler, although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
#All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
#The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
#You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
#The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
#Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
#You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
#Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
#You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
#An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
#Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
#You will all be required to unquestioningly love and admire Duchess Catherine Middleton. However since your media have already persuaded your love to her, less enforcement will be measured.

<big><big>'''God Save the Queen!'''</big></big>

==Gallery==
 
{{cg|USA! USA!|USAGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:Worldmap.jpg|Map of the UEA.
Image:United_States_of_America.jpg|Give us your oil.
Image:Americanmilitaryhistory.jpg|American Military History
Image:America_won_WW2.jpg|Home of the [[W|brave]].
File:Israel US Relations Simplified.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:America Pets that look like their owners.jpg|America is Israel's bitch.
File:US Capital.jpg
File:American Mass Shooting Recipe.jpg
Image:StatueofLiberty.jpg|Goddess Semiramis
Image:philip k dick - man in the high castle cover-penguin classics.jpg|After [[WW2]] the United States employed enough former Nazis to constantly [[Cripple|deform]] its society.
Image:ZameriCANTO.jpg|Artist rendering of how the average American views their country on the world stage.
Image:USApwr.jpg|[[Do_not_want|How America responds to everything. This is why you don't want to fuck with them, unless you prefer living in a radioactive crater.]]
Image:American mcdonalds.jpg|American drive-thru
Image:American delicacy.jpg|An all-American delicacy
Image:Americat.jpg|Typical American Siamese cat
Image:Jewmerica.jpg|Flag of Jewmerica, also called the USA, an external territory of Israel.
File:Debtshit.jpg
Image:AmericasWorld.gif
Image:AmericanCrimeSolution.jpg|Guns vs Butthurt
Image:Corkscrew_Missile.jpg|'Smart' technology
File:Modern America 2017.jpg|America in 2017
File:JewishcontrolofUSGovernment.jpg|How corporations control the gov't
Image:Bombtheshitoutaya.jpg|Just a little correction
File:American Fag flag.jpg
Image:StarOfCampDavid.png|Every true American is a Zionist
Image:USship NO U.jpg|Typical American ship captain "[[NO U|NO U DIVERT YOUR COURSE]]"
Image:The solution.jpg|What needs to be done
File:For Drugs And Oil.jpg
File:Russia 1917 USA 2017.jpg
Image:Taking Liberties by domnx.jpg|I'd hit it
Image:ED USflag.png|How the US flag will look, circa 2012.The end of the world.
Image:Liberty-momg.jpg|The Statue of Liberty watches over and protects the country.
Image:Fatass.jpg|The United States Fag
Image:All our jews.jpg|They started using [[chikins|chickens]] when they ran out of [[Jews]].
File:Middleeastpolicy.jpg
File:American Measurements.jpg
File:Middleeastbeforeandafterdemocracy.jpg|The [[Middle East]] - before and after US 'intervention'
Image:didyoumeanamerican.jpg
File:USAvsRussia22.jpg|Americunts vs russkies
File:Europehistoryusahistory.png|Yurop vs Jew Ess Aye
File:Burgerfeminism.jpg|Burgerbrains in action
File:UKverUS.jpg|Jolly old brits vs savage americunts
File:Osamagoodguy.jpg|[[Osama]] used to be considered a good goy by the US.
File:Usahomeless.jpg|America cant even take care of its [[Homeless]]
File:Legalillegal.jpg|American legal system
File:Americapuppet.jpg|America is the puppet of [[Israel]]
File:Welcometowalmart.jpg
File:USAvsworld.png
File:SoldiersofUSAlol.jpg
File:ShotgunUSflag.png
File:USAnumber1.jpg
File:ConfederatesVSUSA.jpg
File:American cock.gif
File:Burntheflag.png
File:Talkaboutfreedom.png
File:Somepolshit.png
File:Oldwhiteppl.png|Old white men 'hold back' the country
File:3generations.jpg
File:American Essence.jpg
File:American Political City.jpg
File:Landwhale Caught On Tape!.jpg
File:USmaps.png
File:Missionaccomplished.jpg
File:Americanrebel.png
File:Fatblob.jpg
File:Truecourage.jpg|American courage
Image:Usburn2.gif|[[Jews|Some people]] wish it were illegal to burn the US flag IRL
Image:Crazed1.jpg|As true today as it was in 1907
Image:redneckdrawing.jpg|Typical Americans and their cars.
Image:AYENATIONDIVIDED.jpg|[[obvious|This was obviously made by an Americunt.]]
Image:New usa flag.jpg|Flag of the United Socialist States of America
Image:USofIsrael.png|Flag of the United States of Israel
Image:For God and Country.jpg|What every proud American ought to do
Image:ConfederateFlag4.png|Flag of the Confederate States of America
Image:America fuck yeah woman.jpg|[[America|FUCK YEAH!]]
Image:Christian fundie retards.jpg|America, the [[christian|Christfag]] nation.
Image:China and usa.jpg|The USA gets a lot of [[shit]] from [[China]]
Image:Nazi amaerica.jpg|The true face of [[Nazi Germany|America]], in all it's glory!
Image:Evolution_-_American_Evolution.jpg|American Evolution
Image:America_-_eCards_-_White_Trash_Problem.jpg
Image:Successful opposite of America.jpg|How to be successful - just don't be an American
Image:America_-_Space_Exploration.jpg
Image:America_-_The_American_Dream.jpg
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Captions_-_America_Cat.jpg
Image:America_-_Sweet_Land_Of_Liberty.jpg
Image:Texting_-_07.jpg
Image:Ameeeerica.png
File:NEW DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER PIZZA.jpg
Image:Land of the free.gif
File:Ameriburger Confrontation.jpg|Confronting an Amerifat.
File:AnimatedUSA.gif
File:America has no food.png|Funny
File:Patriotic_American_Flag_Shirt.png
File:111burgercomic.png
File:USA8218293239432.jpg
File:Burgerballed.png
File:AMericanForeignPolitics.jpg
File:Americansareevil.jpg
File:Whitegenocide232323232.png
File:Whitegenocide8483843843.jpg
File:Whitegenocide8438483.png
File:Whitegenocide8483483242.png
File:Whiteminority.png
File:Immigrants.jpg
File:Patriotismpot.jpg
File:Divided states of america.gif
File:Louisiana Purhcase A+++.jpg
File:West Virginia.jpg
File:Whizzle fo Shizzle.jpg
File:Typical american woman.jpg
File:Usa.jpg
File:Diversity.png
File:ObesityUSA.png
File:Rich Financial Seizure Of USA.gif|More evidence of the Ogliarchy, goy...
File:US Vs Iran Warmongering.jpg
File:Latuff America Israel Innocence.jpg
File:Countries That Lose To Vietnamese Farmers.jpg
File:Here Comes The Americans.png
File:Shitty USA Is Israels Bitch.jpg
File:American Pig Vs Starving Child.jpg
File:Jews Control AMERICA.jpg
File:Iran.jpg
File:Americanbitch.jpg
File:Americansareassholes.jpg
File:ThreeAmericansBridge.jpg
File:USDebt.png
File:AmericanMongrelvsWhiteEthnicRussian.jpg|The American Alternative Right got it!
File:American Multiracial Future.jpg|A bad message to [[Racist]]s of all Races
File:TheTruthaboutAmerica.jpg|True words about America spoken out of the mouth of an American
File:America.png
File:America dead.jpg
File:Americans 2016 2017.jpg
</gallery>
|0}}
 
==See Also==
[[File:Merchant of liberty.png|right|650px|link=Israel]]
*[[4th of July]]
*[[American language]]
*[[Americunts]]
*[[AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!]]
*[[America's Third Party]]
*[[Archer]]
*[[Cancer]]
*[[Darth Cheney]]
*[[Diabeetus]]
*[[Joe Biden]] - The current president of the Jewnited States.
*[[The Donald|Donald J. Trump]] - The former president of the Jewnited States.
*[[Senator Barack Hussein Obama]] - A former USA president, and current has-been
*[[fat|Heart disease]]
*[[Hetalia]]
*[[Jim Traficant]]
*[[drunk|Lakotastan]]
*[[redneck|Manifest Destiny]]
*[[Native American]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Paula Deen]]
*[[Pindos]]
*[[Retard]]

*[[Unwarranted self importance]]
*[[W]]
*[[White people]]
*[[White Nationalism]]
*[[Why do you hate America?]]
{{clear}}

== External Links ==
*{{UkrED|США|UkrDramatica's article on this}}
*'''{{archive|Y6b0y|What Russia thinks of America}}''' - '''WARNING:''' High levels of [[mental retardation]]
*'''{{archive|BybCA|Good place for showing your American hate for Muslims and vice versa}}'''
*'''{{archive|aSccx|A severely butthurt American complaining and denying about the fact that the USA is definitely a terrorist nation due to the USA's constant bullying wars of piss-poor, weak nations. In actuality the USA is the #1 terrorist nation in the world Amerifags :-p Take that!}}'''
*<s>[http://backtobasicsamericawebsite.com A typical website by a concerned American! Notice the grammar.]</s> (dead)
*'''{{archive|d0beC|Escape From America Magazine. ''America – The Grim Truth''}}'''
*'''{{archive|pMbqB|A photo collection of average Americans}}'''
*[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-207079/Evolution-banned-US-schools.html Evolution is banned from US schools]

{{Unitedstates}}
{{commonwealth}}

{{Britfags}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 3, [[2010]]|[[Canadia]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Anna Chapman]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article June 4 & July 5, [[2012]]|[[Lil B]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Tablecow]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 4, [[2017]]|[[Plastic Surgery]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Trona]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 4, [[2018]]|[[Mikese Morse]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Marijuana Addiction]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 3 & 4, [[2021]]|[[Fat Girl Angle Shot]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Bill Cosby]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now July 4, [[2022]]|[[Brenton Tarrant]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Robert Crimo]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 2 & July 3, [[2024]]|[[Mexico]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[4th of July]]}}

[[Category:America| ]]
[[Category:Countries]]

4th of July

2024-08-15T22:36:07Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[Image:Usausa.gif‎|thumb|center|America's favorite holiday. Retards love pretty lights.]]
{{clear}}
[[Image:Indepedunceday1.jpg|thumb|left|Good clean fun at the Nation's annual birthday sex orgy. Yes sir, this is how America is honored!!!]]
[[Image:Flaglol.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:ZOMGtax.jpg‎|thumb|All about saving a few bucks]]
[[Image:Headshot.jpg|thumb|left|Consternation! We forgot to bring our muskets to the battle!]]
[[Image:Donotwantea.jpg|thumb|A lovely tea-party on a yacht, gone horribly wrong.]]
[[Image:Independunceday2.jpg|thumb|left|100% All-American wiener.]]
[[Image:AllYourColony.gif‎|thumb|AYCAB2U]]
[[Image:Mexican Obama.jpg|thumb|4th of July in Obama's style]]

'''The 4th of July''' is one of several [[United States]] [[9/11|holidays]] created to whip up [[masturbation|patriotic American feelings]] and remind the rest of the world that they better not [[Gangbang|fuck]] with us. Also known as [[The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air|Independence Day]], it was originally started by a [[Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy|small gang of terrorists]] because they hated the civilized and cordial British way of life, with its incessant tea and crumpets routine and loose talk about abolishing [[niggas|slavery]]. Since then, the 4th of July has become an [[Retro|endearingly]] fetishized [[goatse|annual]] occasion for people to dump money into [[China]] for fireworks and party supplies, allowing us to have the parades, picnics, and sex parties that make the USA the [[Jews|world]]’s most admired nation.

In modern [[America]]n 4th of July celebrations, every other person but [[you]] is barbecuing delicious burgers surrounded by family and friends in the backyards of their [[rich and beautiful|perfect suburban homes]]. You, meanwhile, are sitting [[dying alone|alone]] in a rented basement studio apartment on a chair stained with tears and semen, playing [[World of Warcraft]] in a room lit only by your computer monitor.

==History==
For most of the USA's existence, citizens celebrated 4th of July in traditional and rather boring ways. Year after year, decade after decade, very little changed in the cuisine, the family activities, and the fireworks display. Children symbolically set fire to toy Indian wigwam villages, and civic leaders and politicians made speeches that brought pride to all American hearts.

Something in the national spirit changed, however, after [[The Spanish Inquisition|World War II]]. With the influx of the millions of [[Jews]] who had escaped the [[Holocaust denial|Auschwitz]] ovens, American culture became much more vulgar and cheapened, [[liberal|filled with coarse language, promiscuity and violence]]. All of this, of course, [[Protocols of the Elders of Zion|had been planned long ago]].

==The reality==
Most [[America|Amerifags]] would have you believe that their defeat over the [[Britain|Britfags]] was [[pwnt|all encompassing]] and lulz. However, what they fail to realize is that it was actually the [[Irony|French]] who bailed them out, while the [[Retard|True American PATRIOTS]] played fancy dress as native savages and [[Autism|threw some tea in a river]], presumably under the impression that removing their tea would render them as powerless as Popeye without his spinach, much to the embarrassment of [[Europe|the civilized world]].

==The bright side==
The new coarseness and vulgarity were not necessarily a bad thing, and with it came plenty of opportunities for experimenting with [[drugs]] and [[Bestiality|sexuality]]. As America's foremost holiday, the 4th of July began to personify the country's new outlook and approach to all kinds of strange and risky behavior. For example, [http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=%22bottle+rocket%22+ass&hl=en shooting fireworks out of one's ass] on the 4th of July became a very popular kind of stunt among [[Attention Whore|teenagers]]. Wild, patriotic orgies became the holiday norm for young adults, while the older set drank themselves into the familiar [[Hangover|alcoholic stupor or rage]].

==The future of 4th of July==
Most people agree that 4th of July is much more interesting and fun now than it was in years gone by, and while there is still some danger of [[Mexicans|Cinco de Mayo freaks and criminals]] overwhelming the nation, it seems reasonably certain that the party, in this case, is just going to get crazier.

{{clear}}

==Gallery of Patriotism==

<center><gallery>
Image:Hugstiem1776.jpg‎
Image:Srsbizns.jpg‎
Image:George washington.jpg|The country's Dad.
Image:LoD.jpg‎
Image:Swastika-flag2.jpg|Part of the 20th century Jewish campaign to discredit America.
Image:Triplets with american flag.jpg|Three pillars of USA: Sex, Drugs, and Rock'n'Roll.
Image:Bush-small-flag.jpg
Image:Goatsebush.jpg|Patriotic fervor
Image:Benfranklin.jpg|Ben Franklin founded a chain of convenience stores that still thrive today.
Image:Upgraded.jpg|Tough times, but excellent manners.
Image:Gdub.jpg|Rockin' my wooden dentures, boyee...
Image:Stealingcolonies.jpg|Fear not, for soon we will establish Toronto.
Image:Hangingcat.jpg
Image:BostonT.jpg‎
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Animated_-_Patriotism.gif|Show off your patriotic spirit!
Image:freedomdance.gif
</gallery></center>

== Patriotic Videos ==

<center><youtube>xfJuJrqFhXM</youtube></center>

== FIREWORKS! ==
Let's not kid ourselves here, the 4th of July at this point is largely about one thing and one thing only...setting off MASSIVE explosives and incendiaries preferably while completely drunk off your ass and attempting to be the biggest jackass in a seven block radius.

===Firework Galleries===
{{cg|General|1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Lady_Gaga_Breast_Fireworks.jpg
Image:Vagina_-_Cunt.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Animals_-_01.jpg|All pets LOVE fireworks!
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Animals_-_02.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Family_Budget.jpg|This man has his priorities straight, do you?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Confiscated_Fireworks.jpg|Beware [[police|The Man]] who will [[steal|confiscate]] your fiery fun.
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Kim_Jong_Un_Tweet.jpg|Beware, [[North Korea]] is after your fireworks!
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Live_Texting.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Sperklers.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_T-Shirts_-_01.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_T-Shirts_-_02.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Miscellaneous_-_Boxy_Sparkler.jpg
Image:Sparklers.gif
</gallery>
|}}
 

{{cg|Comics||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Comics_-_01.jpg
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{{cg|Firework Name Fails||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Firework_Name_Fails_-_01.jpg|Who doesn't love a [[golden shower]]?!
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{{cg|Retards/Alcohol + Fireworks =|2|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Hold_This_Please.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Up_The_Ass_-_Bottle_Rocket_-_01.jpg|[[Alcohol]] goes [[awesome]] with fiery explosives!
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Up_The_Ass_-_Bottle_Rocket_-_02.jpg|What could possibly go wrong?
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Up_The_Ass_-_Out_The_Ass.jpg
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Image:4th_Of_July_-_Animated_-_Captain_Fail.gif|Captain Fail will save the day!
Image:Flame_Wars_-_War_Is_Hell.jpg|The aftermath of epic retardation...
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_01.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_03.jpg|Ya still got one good eye! ;D
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_04.jpg|It's not as bad as it looks...
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_07.jpg|LOL, just kidding!
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_05.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_06.jpg|His [[imaginary girlfriend|girlfriend]] didn't survive.
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_08.jpg
Image:4th_Of_July_-_Retards_-_Aftermath_-_02.jpg|Superb parenting was at work in this case.
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===Firework Videos===
<center>{{fv|v1|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>l4iNOguCNFQ</youtube>|
<youtube>T-wiSQAjbWM</youtube>|
<youtube>2Wir0qJdLYI</youtube>|
<youtube>UEsjpjkUwQU</youtube>|
<youtube>lrPCEubDZ9A</youtube>}}</center>
 

==See also==
[[File:USA firework consumer retail laws by state.png|thumb|right|And only between 1-5 July and 26 Dec-31 Jan [http://www.dhses.ny.gov/ofpc/news/sparklingdevices.cfm (NYC)]]]
*[[Youtube Independence Day]]
*[[W]]
*[[Hell]]
*[[George Washington]]
*[[Che Guevara]]
*[[United States]]
*[[England]]
*[[Philadelphia]]
*[[Hookers and blow]]
*[[Ceiling cat]]
*[[Common knowledge]]
{{timeline|Featured article July 4 & July 5, [[2024]]|[[America]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[K-pop]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now July 4 & July 5, [[2023]]|[[Patrick S. Tomlinson]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Stealthing]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 4 & 5, [[2020]]|[[DINDUNUFFIN]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Beavis and Butt-head]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 3 & 4, [[2016]]|[[Brexit]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Dmitry Vinogradov]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 4 & 5, [[2013]]|[[Russia]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Trayvon Martin]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 4, [[2007]]|[[Tyler Dumstorf]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Audreynoland]]}}

[[Category:Events]]

Kpop

2024-08-15T22:35:52Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:K-pop}}
[[File:DatKoreanAss.gif|thumb|Fans listen to it for the [[ass|plot]]]]
[[File:Psy.jpg|thumb|According to the rest of the world, this is the only good pop artist in South Korea]]
[[File:K pop 4minute 504.gif|thumb|right|300px|All the bouncing is a waste of their time when none of them have any tit]]
[[File:Gangnam-Hump.gif|thumb|No exceptions.]]
[[File:blaxygirls.jpeg|thumb|200px|The only good K-Pop band alongside with [[CupcakKe]], thanks [[Romania]].]]
'''K-pop''' (also known as Korean pop music or "the generals spammed on /mu/ every day") is what the Korean equivalent of [[weeaboo]]s listen to when not [[fap|fapping]] to the identical-looking girls in K-pop music videos. The vast majority of fans will not admit that they really want to be the girls in the videos. Fans of K-pop will viciously defend their surgically altered [[waifu]]s and repeatedly claim that K-pop is ZOMG ''totally'' not the same as that bland, overly-sexualized & corporate-owned American [[pop]] - with its [[Katy Perry|talentless]] and [[Jonas Brothers|forgettable]] artists who don't even write their own material. In fact their beloved K-pop is typically written by the same people and contains ''exactly the same'' cliched lyrics about love/being cheated on, mandated [[Bix Nood|rapping]] that has no place in the song, stupid dances devised to try and make the shit go viral and focus on the sexuality/fashion of the artists rather than the quality of the actual music. In K-pop there are a great many ''boy bands'' and ''girl groups'' made up of talentless and forgettable singers essentially [[owned]] by the music company that writes all their songs. These songs as mentioned previously will often feature rapping sections that in Western music would be performed by some coked-out nigger like [[Kanye West]] or [[crap|Lil Wayne]]; K-pop will instead feature a native who can't rap. So if the song inevitably sucks, at least it wasn't tainted by the presence of a darkie. The artists are so faceless (sometimes literally, thanks to all the plastic surgery) that if they refuse to suck off their producers in a bathhouse they could be killed & replaced by another person and none of their fans would notice due to [[truth|all Koreans looking/sounding exactly alike.]] Clearly, K-pop is nothing like generic pop music.

==The Music==

[[File:Kpop cartoon pic.jpg|right|250px]]

Just like Koreans, all K-pop sounds the same. This is because the music in South Korea, just like cellphones, cars, and souls, is treated as a commodity. Management groups owned by large conglomerates either have rights to an artist's soul or bundle up a random bunch of asians into a group like a Costco value pack. Groups are chosen based on looks alone. All members are taught how to dance and look sexy while lip-syncing their dubbed or auto-tuned lines. The companies decide what they sing, what they wear during concerts and photo shoots, how they act in public, and how much semen they must swallow from stock holders before their contract is renewed (This applies to both the male and female artists). To make more monies, the companies will take random members of a group and create a "sub-unit" which sings the same shit as the regular group but under a different name, thus creating the musical equivalent of [[capcom|DLC]]. The only variety in K-pop is whether the bland studio-produced song is sung by an ultra faggy male idol, a young,skinny,light-skinned female idol, a girl group made up of said idols, or a hyper feminine boy band that makes [[J-Rock|Visual Kei]] look masculine by comparison. When a member complains that they want to be taken seriously, they are laughed out of the studio, replaced, and sacrificed to ensure next year's crop of [[Dragon Ball Z|nappa]] cabbage is plenty.

==The Bands==
[[File:Oneofkind.gif|thumb|Your average K-pop group]]
[[File:Koreanboyband.jpg|thumb| These men are perfectly straight]]

To reflect the fact that they are owned by their corporate overlords, kpop groups are categorized by ridiculous group names that sound like serial codes you would find on a price scanner after tagging an item at [[Walmart]] or stock names you would see on the NasDaq. Examples include:

*T-Ara
*2NE1
*UKISS
*MBLAQ
*BAQX
*LEDApple
*4Minute
*B1A4
*[[BTS]]
*5T1ME
*Girl's Generation
*FT Island
*KIM-T
*BEAST
*CNBlue
*BLACKPINK (aKa "StAn LoOnA!!!11")

At least 3 of those names were made up. Can you guess which ones?

==The Fans==
K-pop fans are the musical equivalent of [[PewDiePie|PewDiepie's]] audience and will viciously defend their genre and fapping material to the death. They swarm [[/mu/]] like a pack of socially-inept locusts, posting K-pop generals left and right in order to impress the hipsters lurking the board with their "unique" tastes. K-pop fans are mainly korean [[weeaboo|weeaboos]] (Koreaboo) who try to stand out from the crowd of other [[ronery]], anime-obsessed, [[Basement Dweller|basement dwellers]] by latching onto the culture of another asian country that isn't [[Japan]]. What many of them don't know is that, like most idols and boy bands, K-pop is mostly marketed to a [[12 year old girl|tween audience]] comprising of [[loli|14 year old Korean girls]]. In other words, K-pop fans don't realize that they are the equivalent of Chinese [[manchild|manchildren]] fapping to [[Fat Larry's Band|One Direction.]] The K-pop fandom is comprised mainly of: people who are actually Korean, Koreaboos, ronery men with yellow fever, fat [[twilight]] fangirls who drool over the hyper-faggy boy groups, and [[Filipino|Filipinos]] who wish they looked more like the asian people in the music video rather than being the ugly asian bastard race.

==Jenny Hyun==
[[Last Thursday]], a songwriter who wrote singles for groups like Girl's Generation named Jenny Hyun was scouring the interwebs for western pop songs she could steal when she came across [[pol]]. After browsing the board for less than 1.4 seconds, she became a nigger-hating, Korean nationalist who fought to maintain South Korea's racial purity from the evil forces of dark-skinned diversity. In response to a tweet made by professional boxer Floyd Mayweather about why some [[asian]] guy becoming a pro-basketball player was big news when black people do it all the time, Hyun responded [[insane|rationally]] to his dumb comment by declaring the eradication of the black race. Below is a compilation of her Nuremberg speech. Meanwhile on the K-pop scene, There is much anticipation over her new upcoming singles "HEIL★HEIL★HEIL♥HITLER-STYLE!" and "깜둥이가 다이 다이!".

Even [[Azn|Chinks]] hate [[Niggers]] which would explain their many differences.

Asians are intelligent and docile. Niggers are stupid and wild.
Asians have an interesting, high-tech culture. Niggers have an cannibalistic culture.
Asians have small dicks. Niggers have big dicks.
Asians have small lips. Niggers have huge lips.
Asians love each other. Niggers hate each other.
Asians are warm and welcoming. Niggers are aggressive and abrasive.
Asians have small and squinty eyes. Niggers have big/ugly googly eyes.

Both are subhuman scum as neither of them are Caucasian. Mongolians slightly resemble monkeys whereas the Negroid DNA IS 69% monkey, which explains their urgent need for sex. As a punishment God gave them pubes on their heads, read more in [[Nigger]].

Niggers promote all white kids to be either; [[Wiggers]], [[Ghetto|Thugs]], [[You|Slackers]] or [[Douchebag|Douchebags]] while on the other hand Asians promote white kids to become; [[Atheist|Heathens]], [[Weeaboo|Weeaboos]], [[Kpop|Koreaboos]], [[You|Nintendofags]] or [[Buddhism|Demonic Buddhists]].
ALL allowed and encouraged by the subhuman Jewish assholes.

Mexicans perspective on Asians and Niggers. Hope you enjoyed!

<center>[[File:Jennyhyunmeltdown.jpg]]</center>

After the media fiasco, Hyun responded with the following:

{{quote|[[Postal 2|I regret nothing]]|Jenny Hyun}}

==Videos==
{{Spoiler|Girl's Generation won [[youtube|jewtube]] Music Award's Video Of The Year!}}

<center><big>'''The following videos will make you question your sexuality'''</big></center> 
<center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>U7mPqycQ0tQ</youtube>|<youtube>3vmlYkbcVeA</youtube>|<youtube>k3HcosxKGK8</youtube>|
<youtube>OGvwy3qhjDM</youtube>|
<youtube>hmE9f-TEutc</youtube>|
<youtube>J_CFBjAyPWE</youtube>|
<youtube>NB5jyYD2WEw</youtube>}}
</center>

==See Also==
*[[J-pop]]
*[[Koreaboo]]
*[[/mu/]]
*[[Otto Warmbier]] Died because he liked [[North Korea|Northern K-Pop]]
*[[Good Korea|South Korea]]

{{Music}}
{{Azn}}
{{Korea}}
{{Timeline|Featured article August 18 & 19, [[2014]]|[[HowToBasic]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Zoe Quinn]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article July 6 & July 7, [[2024]]|[[4th of July]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Boku No Pico]]}}
{{Retarded Edit Wars}}
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Music Genres]]

Boku No Pico

2024-08-15T22:35:34Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[Image:Mypico.jpg|thumb|Promotional image for the series and the most SFW image you'll get out of the whole thing.]]
When it comes to [[shotacon]], it all boils down to the same: young boys in erotic situations. '''Boku No Pico''' ('''[[Moonspeak|ぼくのぴこ]]''' - Translation: ''My <s>[[Faggot]]</s> <s>[[Nigger]]</s> Pico'') is about as bad as it gets. Unlike your run-of-the-mill [[deviantART]] shota production by a basement dweller living in [[Redneck|Bumblefuck]], [[USA]], Boku No Pico is a professionally made shotacon anime. Yes, people were paid in the production of this as it was mass produced by a [[pornography]] distributor (in fact, the company's name is [[Drugs|Natural High]]).

==Characters==
[[Image:Pico_asking_for_it.png|thumb|You know you want him]]
*'''[[Trap|Pico]]''': The [[13-year-old boy|thirteen-year-old]] protagonist of the three-part series. Quite obviously a [[homosexual]] as the opening credits show him in Lycra shorts, a swimsuit and frilly panties, all with jangly happy [[J-pop]] in the background, because prepubescent transvestites are just the cutest things. His personality is childish, for the most part, except for when he is buttfucking another boy, in which case he acts like a naggy housewife who doesn't feel like she gets enough out of the relationship. He doesn't have any friends, sans two other boys and a grown man who [[whore|only use him for sex]].
*'''[[You|Tamotsu]]''': The physical manifestation of every fan of the series. He is a grown man who is ready to rape 24/7. He mistakes Pico for a girl upon their first encounter and even after discovering he is in fact a boy ''he still sucks his dick and fucks him in the ass''. He disappears completely after the first episode.
*'''[[Shotacon|Chico]]''': A ten-year-old boy who watches his older sister masturbate and moves on to have many a buttsecks and play with vibrators with Pico in episode two.
*'''[[Transsexual|Coco]]''': A thirteen-year-old boy who looks even more feminine than Pico. He appears in the last episode to fuck everything up. Seriously, he's a goddamn ghost or something.
*'''[[Pedophile|Chico's sister]]''': Stupid [[slut]] who instead of looking after Chico, all she does is [[masturbate]] to him assfucking Pico. She only gets two appearances and in both of them is flicking her bean.

==Plot==
It all boils down to this: girly-looking boys in erotic situations. The plot summary for the series was literally this:
{{quote|Tamotsu "Mokkun", a young adult, befriends and engages in sexual relationships with Pico, an effeminate adolescent boy with no friends.|Review of Boku no Pico}}

Please be aware - the following is completely factual and has not been exaggerated in any way. Yes, it really is this bad.

===Episode One===
It's gay. Pico, in hopes of finding a boyfriend, gets a summer job working for his [[retarded|mentally challenged]] grandpa as a waiter in his bar. It is here that he meets Tomatsu, who mistakes him for a charming young lady. They end up in a car in broad fucking day light, at which point Tomatsu discovers that Pico is, in fact, packing a wiener. This does not stop him from pumping a good gallon of sperm into the young lad, while Pico worries about the ice cream he is holding. Afterwords, Tomatsu forbids Pico from wearing boy's clothes. Pico, for some reason, gets pissed off a little later in the episode and cuts his hair before running away. Tomatsu finds him and they make up, then continue their buttsecks on the beach. Tomatsu cums inside Pico, [[lolwut|which is depicted as both of them jizzing into the air side by side]]. Tomatsu then proceeds to die of AIDS, and is never seen beyond this point.

===Episode Two===
It's still gay (although somewhat less, with the inclusion of a woman [[Masturbation|schlicking]]). Pico returns to be someone else's cumdumpster but in this iteration he finally seems to be the one to take charge. He meets Chico, an even younger boy who's mind is prime for subliminal grooming . The two become friends and Pico is invited to Chico's home. please let it be noted that this all happens after the audience catches a shiny view of some shitty fucking spandex asscrack in the opening shot. It is there that Chico takes Pico to his attic. After a disturbing minute of Pico retardidly polking a dick shaped child's toy, Chico begins to stare through a crack at his sister masturbating. the young Slav is very adamant to point out the fact that his sis loves getting her daily does of potassium as the tool of masturbation is a banana. Pico informs his incestuous young friend that boys can also masturbate, at which point Pico finds out Chico is hung like a goddamn horse. He jelly. They then break into the sister's stash of sex toys and experiment, not without crossdressing. Chico's sister walks in on this, and, in her surprise, drops the groceries and pleasures herself to it. Fin. but not forgetting the absolutely asinine usage of a second intro theme that is accompanied by even more young boy scrott than before.

===Episode Three===
[[File:Ov7QqnzS.jpg|thumb|right|Actual size of Pico's dick.]]
[[File:bokunoJewtube.jpg|thumb|right|Recommend it to [[christian|friends]]]]
Guess what? '''''IT GETS EVEN GAYER!!''''' Pico and Chico are still fucking each other. They meet a nice young [[trap|girl]] named Coco. They go around town, and Coco sucks Pico's dick in an abandoned amusement park, while Chico is off playing the crane game. However, it wouldn't quite be right if Coco didn't also turn out to have a penis. After a few rounds of furious anal poundings, [[drama|Pico finds Chico banging Coco]]. He, once again, jelly. Shit goes down and they all get mad at each other. Remember when I said Coco's a goddamn ghost? Well he fucking disappears. Like fucking vanishes off the fucking face of the earth. Just like everyone else. These kids are in Tokyo, and the only ones who seem to occupy it. It is safe to assume everyone killed themselves. Anyway, Pico and Chico go on a gay adventure to find their boy toy friend, but dat nigga's gone. They go back to the Buttfuck cave (Coco lives in a subway tunnel under the city) and all the shit's gone. It was probably niggers, but regardless. They eventually find Coco and they all make up with each other and end the series with a bang (Get it? They fuck) as they go into public and form a [[mantrain]] in front of the whole world (not that anyone would notice since [[Fukushima 2012|somehow FUCKING TOKYO IS EMPTY]]).

==Copypasta==
[[image:Boku No Pico (Batman).png|180px|right]]
[[File:Boku Review.jpg|thumb|The original post.]]
In April 2008, a nigger named "Young Buck" [http://slumz.boxden.com/f429/dont-watch-anime-called-boku-1161642/ called out on the animu] on some [[forum]]/site called "[http://slumz.boxden.com/ Boxden]", and according to his story, a [[white]] friend of his sent him the three episodes of the animu (only labeled as "Boku" rather then it's full name) to him, telling him to make sure nobody else is with him when watching it. Buck then suspected that it was some kind of "weird [[porno]]", but when he started to watch all three episodes of "Boku", he was completely [[Goatse|shocked and offended]], saying that it was "like [[Satan]] [giving him] his porno collection". Needless to say, the original post [http://green-oval.net/cgi-board.pl/a/thread/34494888 soon] [http://green-oval.net/cgi-board.pl/a/thread/22338079 became] [http://green-oval.net/cgi-board.pl/a/thread/35720179 a] short lived [[copypasta]] on [[a/|/a/]].

Some white guy happened to stumble upon the copypasta, and decided it would be [[unfunny|funny]] to record a reading of the copypasta and post it on the American Internets. By pure luck, the recording (in video form) somehow [http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/08/12/an-americans-response-to-japanese-ero-anime/ made it's way onto the Japanese Internets] by ''Nico Nico Douga'' (the Japanese equivalent of [[YouTube]]), and soon became a viral hit on the site, with many Japanese users shouting out "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" in the comments section of said video - it even became a source for MAD videos (the Japanese equivalent of [[YouTube Poop|YouTube Poops]]), although not as popular as the many [[Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend|other overused sources on the site]].

<center><youtube>7SMt6fFtqzA</youtube></center>
Don't watch an anime called "Boku." Man this sh*t is so wrong in so many motherfu*king levels yo...I was talking to one of my white friends and he sent me 3 videos with the name only labeled "Boku" I said to this dude, What's this sh*t? He just giggled and said "Just watch them and MAKE SURE NOBODY IS AROUND YOU WHEN WATCHING IT!" Then I thought it was some weird porno or some strange sh*t but as I watched the first video, I was like "Yo.....what the fu*k.." THEN IT CONTINUED and I was like "Yoooooooooooooooooooooooo......." THEN THEY GOT IN THE MOTHERfu*kING CAR AND THEN I SAID "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" I couldn't fu*king believe what I just saw, It was like Satan gave me his porno collection, sh*t was so disturbing..YET I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING IT, THEN VIDEO TWO AND IT WAS TWO OF THEM.....THOSE NIGGAS...YOOOOOOO.......THOSE NIGGAS....AND THAT GIRL SAW THEM THEN SHE...YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... THEN THAT NIGGA TOOK THAT DOG TOY THEN YYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........IT WAS LIKE YOUR bi*ch WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU BUT SHE WANTED TO SOMETHING "DIFFERENT" AND IT WAS SO fu*kED UP AND CREEPY, YOU JUST...KEPT WATCHING IT...AND THAT'S WHAT I fu*kING DID!!!!! THEN I SAW VIDEO THREE...THREE NIGGAS...THRRREEEEE!!!!!! IT...WAS...THHHHHHRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! AND COCO WAS HIS NAME NIGGA, COCO WAS HIS MOTHERfu*kING NAME!!!!!! OH MY GOD,I AIN'T GOING TO HEAVEN NIGGAS, I ALREADY SOLD MY SOUL TO LUCIFER!

So I Just want to tell you all right now..DON'T WATCH AN ANIME LABELED BOKU, DON'T DO IT NIGGA, IT'S LIKE SUCCUBUS. REMEMBER WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU NIGGAS!

==TV Tropes==
Back when the asstards at [[TV Tropes]] actually had some appreciation for lulz, they actually troped this. Below is an edited version of the original page before [[TV_Tropes|The Great Pedocide of April 2012]]:

''Boku no Pico'' (''My Pico'') is a shotacon OVA series, produced by the pornographic company Natural High. The series is infamous for being the first official[hottip:* :(the ''Enzai'' anime's classification as shotacon is debated)] animated example of its genre, as well as its copious amounts of cross-dressing. It shares creators with various other works, such as Yoshiten, the character designer for ''Bible Black'', and Katsuyoshi Yatabe, the episode/storyboard director for series such as ''Gundam SEED Destiny'' and ''Gakuen Alice''.

In the first installment, we are introduced to Pico during the summer, who is working at his grandfather's bar. His grandfather asks regular Tamotsu (nicknamed "Mokkun" by Pico) to spend time with Pico because he has no friends in the area...and then Tamotsu introduces Pico to many more things.

In the next installments, Pico meets Chico in ''Pico to Chico'' ("Pico and Chico"), who becomes his lover, and then Coco in ''Pico x Coco x Chico'', where more similar shotacon antics carry on.

This series is ''not'' in the Boys Love; it was produced for a male audience (of ambiguous sexual orientation) and so lacks the feel, structure and character types of yaoi.
----
[[image:Boku No Pico (Cat Boy).jpg|180px|right]]
'''A Date With <s>Rosie Palms</s> Slippery Fingers''': Coco. And Chico's older sister to Pico and her brother while they're busy in the next room.

'''[[Bi]] The Way''': From the way Pico & Chico acted around both Coco (when they thought he was female) and Chico's sister.

'''Brother Sister [[Incest]]''': None directly, but Chico would watch his sister masturbate, though innocently since he had little idea what was happening, and she watched him have sex with Pico and got off on that.

'''Cast Full Of Gay''': Mostly. Keep in mind that both Pico, Chico, and Tamotsu have shown interest in the opposite sex.

'''[[Catgirl|Cat Boy]]''': Pico [on the DVD cover].

'''Caught With Your Pants Down''': In ''Pico to Chico'', the two watch Chico's older sister masturbate with a banana. In the third OVA, Pico catches Coco playing with himself.

'''Dropped A [[Bridget]] On Him''': Pico in the first OVA, Coco in the third OVA.

'''Dude Looks Like A Lady''': Coco, whom Pico mistakes for a girl at first.

'''[[Elegant Gothic Lolita]]''': Chico while playing dress up.

'''Erotic Eating''': Pico does this with ice cream in the first OVA.

'''Expository Hairstyle Change''': Pico cuts his hair to make himself more boyish-looking towards the end of the first OVA.

'''Expy/Captain Ersatz''': Several have pointed out the similarities between Pico and Bridget, as well as Cuilan. Also, Pico's original designer, Saigado, made doujin ero-parodies of both characters before being hired by Natural High.

'''[[Fanservice]] With A Smile''': In the opening for Pico and Chico. Also, Pico is dressed more than cutely while working at his grandfather's bar.

'''Love Triangle''': It's resolved in the end of ''Pico x Coco x Chico''.

'''Maybe Magic Maybe Mundane''': Was Coco a ghost, an alien, a fairy, or just a crazy transvestite who just happened to move everything from his home to the top of Tokyo Tower? Who cares, it's just porn.

'''Memetic Mutation''': When asking for recommendations of anime on /a/ your first reply will be either (1) a chart detailing several anime you should watch before even considering making a recommendation thread, or (2) ''Boku no Pico''... always. Also, when asking for source on another anime you will have someone say: Boku no (Insert other anime here). Example: Boku no Evangelion. This meme is, in fact, one of the only reasons this series isn't just another obscure hentai. Being the first cross dressing, shotacon hentai anime ever doesn't hurt its notability either.

'''The Merch''': Includes figures of Pico and Chico that can sit on your pen, pencil (or similar objects) in suggestive positions. Made by a company that predominantly makes the same figures with female characters. They also apparently made disembodied butt-crotch sex toys, if you are looking for an excuse to wash your eyeballs in sulfuric acid.

'''Missed Moment Of Awesome''': With a busty adult woman in the middle of the series, you would expect to see at least some straight-shotacon action, no? Actually, you don't. The closest she gets to "interact" with the boys is by spying on them while engaging in [[masturbation|her favorite pastime]].

'''Money Shot''': Every male character (except Pico's grandpa, so far) has been shown doing this, the most infamous being Pico's very first one in the first OVA.

'''Out Of Character Moment''': By the end of ''Pico & Chico'', the former, normally a shy and sensitive character, dominates the latter in a [[Rape|provocative and unkind manner]].

'''Parental Abandonment''': None of the kids' parents are ever shown or even mentioned; Pico has a grandfather (although we don't know if he's his guardian), Chico lives with his older sister, and Coco well...

'''Panty Shot''': The most memorable one is when the three boys are walking down the street in cosplay, and Chico decides to walk on his hands briefly while in a dress.

'''[[Pun|Punny]] Name''': According to the creators, Pico's name is based on "pinko" (Japanese slang for erection); Chico is a take on both "chinko" (dick) and "chikou" (smegma); Tamotsu sounds similar to "ichimotsu" (penis); and although Chico's sister doesn't have an official name, some fans christened her as "Mako" (manko, or pussy).

'''[[Pedophile|Shotacon]]''': Tamotsu of course, but also Chico's sister.

'''Wall Banger''': Pico didn't like crossdressing the time he went to Mokkun's apartment, but after that and without any explanation, doesn't mind wearing dresses around Chico and Coco. And that's just one of many incoherent things in this anime.

'''[[Yaoi]]''': One of the more controversial examples, even if you're a Yaoi Fangirl. The series is definitely polarizing since even though there are a lot of female shotacons, ''Boku no Pico'' is directed at [possibly pederastic] men, and perhaps not made in their preferred style of shotacon.

'''You Fail Sex Ed Forever''': Never mind the fact that boys at that age aren't likely to engage in all those sexual positions (even when experimenting); it's impossible not only for a minor, but for a human, to produce THAT MUCH SEMEN in a single ejaculation. Not that it's uncommon in hentai...

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:Boku No Pico (Peeing scene).gif
File:Grab my Ochinchin.png
File:Grab my Ochinchin 2.png
File:Boku No Pico (Ochinchin).jpg|The more you know, faggot.
File:Boku No Pico (My butt is so full).png|Shakespearean-worthy dialogue
File:Obama likes Boku No Pico.jpg
File:The internet is absolutely positive about Boku No Pico.png|Tell us something we don't know
File:Boku No Pico (Kawaii).png
File:Boku No Pico cosplay.jpg|Walk away slowly, slooooowwwwly...
File:Boku No Pico cosplay 2.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Videos==
<center>{{fv|Videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
| <youtube>0T6go6EOuG4</youtube>
| <youtube>F03PDFRYU2M</youtube>
}}</center>
{{clear}}

==See Also==
*[[Shotacon]]
*[[Shounen Maid Kuro-Kun]]
*[[Yosuga No Sora]]

==External Links==
*{{UkrED|Boku_no_Pico|UkrDramatica's Boku No Pico article}}
*{{KYM|memes/boku-no-pico‎|KYM's Boko No Pico article}}
*[http://xhamster.com/movies/186679/boku_no_piko_1_1of3.html Episode 1: Part one]
*[http://xhamster.com/movies/186447/bokuno_piko_1_2of3.html Episode 1: Part two]
*[http://xhamster.com/movies/186635/bokuno_piko_1_3of3.html Episode 1: Part three]
*{{Twitter|yoshiten_y}} The artist responsible for this anime (as well as other masterpieces like Bible Black and STAR jewel). Be sure to laud him.

{{Anime}}
{{Faggotry}}
{{Trolls}}

{{timeline|Featured article November 30 & December 1, [[2012]]|[[Dongforce]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Futurama]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 8 & July 9, [[2024]]|[[K-pop]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Adventure Time]]}}

Adventure Time

2024-08-15T22:35:15Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{spoiler|BUBBLEGUM AND MARCELINE FUCKED!!! AND NOW THE SERIES IS OVER}}
[[Image:AdventureTimeLogo.jpg|550px|center]]
{{clear}}
----
[[File:TheFunWillNeverEnd.JPG|550px|left]]

{{quote|(00:51) @mrbraindead: this is not for kids
(00:51) @mrbraindead: this is the ren and stimpy for kids who are in MENSA}}

'''''Adventure Time''''' is yet another batshit-insane [[politically correct]] cartoon series that airs on ''Cartoon Network'', while pandering to queers, [[SJW|social justice wankers]], and [[autistic]] [[13 year old boy|13-year-olds]] around the globe. The show is about an egotistical faggot named Finn, and his talking shape-shifting pedo dog, Jake, with a quest to ruin everything good about living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Most people will quickly give this show the finger and go out to buy [[Fallout|Fallout 3 or 4]]. Shit, if you really think about it, this show is a bigger ripoff of the classic Don Johnson movie, ''A Boy And His Dog'' than Fallout. [[File:MassacreTime.jpg|thumb|right|250px|[[Columbine|Massacre Time]]]] To clarify, let's compare Johnson's: both are set in an apocalyptic world. Both main characters have a talking dog as a best friend. Both main characters have the same quest in life, to get laid, and they all come across challenges from an evil character and a good one. I wish Pedoton Ward would already get to the end where Johnson [[fuck|had sex with]] the girl only to realize he doesn't want a princess, and all the trappings that come with her, so he kills her to save the life of his dog by feeding her to him, because Don Johnson's character would rather live a life of adventure with his dog than be held down by broken societal rules and a needy bitch. But no. It ends with an extremely crappy and unfulfilling [[lesbian]] kiss in the ass.

[[File:What the fuck am I reading Finn.JPG|thumb|right|250px|Most people's reaction to Adventure Time.]]

The show is essentially the same thing as any other Cartoon Network series that has existed since the mid-2000s: an absolute shit-heap with a cancerous fandom consisting of [[You|the most fucked up people in existence]]; the same closeted [[Manchild|manchildren]] who obsessively waste away watching these cartoons in hopes that doing so it will either make them [[hipsters|hip unique snowflakes]], revive their [[nostalgia|precious 90's cartoons]] (ironic considering that Adventure Time forces moar [[Ear rape|auto-tune]] on the viewers than the average mainstream hip-hop dumbshit that have their own VEVO channel on [[YouTube]]) or [[scene]]fags who think that they will relate to [[Goth|Marceline]] because she's all emotional and [[edgy]] and all that typical shit.

''Adventure Time'' was developed by Pendleton Ward and ''Frederator Studios'' (creators of [[The Fairly OddParents|another cartoon where pedos and fags make up most of the cast]]), which explains why most of the show is about said [[pedophiles]] and [[fags]] on [[acid]]...

==Plot==
[[Image:A-boy-and-his-dog-peeing.png|thumb|left|250px|Adventure Time, C'mon grab your friends/We're going to very distant lands]]
[[Image:1976 movie poster for the movie 'a boy and his dog'.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Too many similarities to just be a coincidence]]
[[Image:Boy-And-His-Dog-photo-2.jpg|thumb|left|250px|With Jake the Dog and/Finn the human/The fun will never end]]
[[Image:1donaboydog111.png|thumb|left|250px|Adventure Time]]
[[File:A Boy And His Dog Desert Pic .jpg|thumb|right|250px|Starting to see it?]]

Despite most of the episodes consisting of acid trips misnamed as adventures, '''Adventure Time''' ''does'' manage to contain a coherent plot, meaning that it has cliffhanger endings at season finales to give viewers the sense that "important" stuff happens despite nothing having been accomplished in the first three fucking seasons.

In the end of Season 2, [[Cunt|Princess Bubblegum]] gets frozen, shattered, and returned to life as a [[13 year old]] [[loli]] due to the doctors not having enough [[cum|gum]] to work with, as to how this kingdom was to believe that having no means to heal its ruler was a good idea is most likely due to the [[mental retardation|brain-damage]] caused by the radiation of the [[drama bomb|Atomic Bombs]]. Later, she gets unlolified by [[vore|absorbing parts of her subjects]].

In the end of Season 3, Finn goes [[emo]] because [[Hotel Mario|teh princess]] [[lesbian|doesn't want dick]], causing Jake to find him another bitch. [[At least 100]] princesses later, [[Fucking idiot|he picks the psychotic one made of fire to pair up with his friend]] and they end up [[Wut|kissing rocks]]. Oh yeah, and the bad guy's a snail now.

Some time during the production of '''Season 4''' Pedoton Ward was becoming aware that parents that were fans of Apocolypse Genre Movies were starting to connect Adventure Time with the Classic 70s film ''A Boy And His Dog''. Many of the episodes focusing on Finn and Jake were canned to open up more interesting characters like Marceline and The Ice King. All that happens in season 4 is Finn and Jake play a [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] style card game That won a Golden Reel Award. Finn's [[fail|failings]] with flame princess. The focusing on smaller characters and [[Final Fantasy|The Lich]] starts a quest using Finn's hero book to destroy the world. 
As this new style was criticaly raved, it is now the new show formula.

Because a lot of the episode from season 4 were canned, they were brought in for '''Season 5'''. Season 5 has the most episodes of any season with 52. Highlights include ''James Baxter the Horse'' being introduced. Finn's Fire Crotch, Flame Princess [[girlfriend]] breaks up with him because he's a [[dick]]. Finn realizes his Daddy is alive and starts acting like a [[16 year old girl]] walking the streets because her daddy dont love her. Finn and Jake continue to appose the Lich. This season earned 2 emmy nominations and much critical acclaim so the new writing formula is now cannon.

'''Season 6''' Not a lot happens in this season but because of the notice it received from a better writing style, the show received 2 emmys for the episodes ''Jake the Brick'' and ''Walnuts and Rain'' while the show received a Peabody award. The writers felt that it was probably time to play [[man|Hemmingway]] this season because nothing really happens. Finn listens to the cure and cuts himself because his daddy doesn't love him and because he's finally realized that he will [[Dying alone|die alone]] because of how bad he gucked up with [[Bitch|Flame Princess]]. Sugar-Tits, Princess Bubblegum is ousted by the ''The King Of OOO'' and Finn and Jake fight a Godzilla version of Gunther.

'''Season 7''' Two episodes won emmys, ''Stakes Part 8 The Bad Clouds and Bad Jubies'', ''Bad Jubies'' also won an Annie Award. This is the Bubblegum - Marceline season as most episodes revolve around them. Marceline/Bubble Gum shippers love this season because it's heavily insinuated that PBG and Marceline are [[Lesbian|Scissor Sisters]]. Candy-Assed bitch Bubblegum tries to live a life not having people she can tell what to do and Marceline whines and cries about how hard it is to be a vampire that is cursed to ''SUCK'' the color red to live. Must be hard for Marceline, all those people she killed sucking the red out of their ketchup packets.

'''Season 8''' Fern Finn is introduced and Finn, Jake and Bemo set out to find Finn's mommy.
{{clear}}
:''See [[Adventure Time/Episode Guide]]''

==Characters==
Pendleton Ward's perception of "good character design" is completely fucking warped. When designing the characters for his shitty Cartoon series, he threw all morals out the window and made all the characters [[Power Rangers|color-coded with no personality whatsoever]], with the foreknowledge that everyone who was going to watch '''Adventure Time''' would have the intellectual quotient of a shit-taco.

* [[13 year old boy|'''Finn the Human''']]:[[File:Finn.gif|50px]]
A 13-year-old boy as a main character? Ward must've busted ''his balls'' coming up with such an original [[Mary Sue]] concept that has ''Finn The Human'' portrayed more times as a female in story than a male whether it be as Fiona in one of the Ice King's [[Rule 63]] fanfics or as '''[[Loli|Shoko]]''', Finn's past life, Japanese, Lolita, schoolgirl version of himself that makes ends meet by selling herself to rich businessmen as the ''Last Japper On Earth'' à la Mikasa from [[Attack on Titan]]. 

[[Lolita|'''Shoko''']]: Finn's [[Japan|Japanese]] Lolita past life that was only added to the story so the creaters could fake depth and pretend that the whole story was planned out in advance by having a character the echoes Finn. Such echoes include that both Finn and Shoko lose their right arm, serve the candy-assed bitch Princess Bubble Gum, were abandoned and know little about their parents and both have an animal companion that is an incarnation of '''Jake The Dog'''. 

[[Homo|'''Fern Finn''']]: Sticking to Pedoton Ward's [[Power Rangers]] colour code of character development, because Fern Finn is an incarnation of Finn that tends to do evil things because he is either confused or because someone is secretly manipulating him, like the Shoko character, his colour code is a forest green. Mostly introduced into the show to satisfy incestuous, homosexual shippers that want Finn fucking someone more his age. Serves no real purpose.
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
File:Adventure_Time_cosplay_3.jpg|'''Manchild the Human'''
File:Adventure_Time_come_at_me_bro.png|'''DO ITTTTT'''
File:Adventure_Time_with_Herp_and_Derp.jpg|'''OH GOD WHY'''
File:Skoko123.png|'''Shoko, the one armed bandit.'''
File:Fern Render.png|'''Fern, the [[police|obvious plant]].'''
File:Adventure Time shipping 2.jpg|'''Finn is gay for literally everyone.'''
File:Adventure Timelord1234.png|'''Get it?'''
File:Adventure Timelord4567.png|'''Such subtlely. It's an Adventure Time Lord!!!!!'''
File:Adventure_Time_-_The_Terrible_Truth.jpg|'''How it all ends...'''
File:Asian Finn.jpg|...No, it's over, get out of here Japan 0:<
</gallery>|border=black|background=#00BFFF}}
</center>
 
----
* [[Fat Furry|'''Jake the Dog''']]:[[File:Jake.gif|35px]]
A shape-shifting, [[shit]] talking dog who is Finn's only friend as well as his [[Bestiality|closest life-long partner]]. Being a [[lazy|torpid]], pedo-voiced, [[manchild]] furry tub of shit, he's also the embodiment of the show's fanbase with the height of their depth being topics consisting of, ''If Jake Was Bender, How Would Bender Have Handeled X?'' The only cool thing about Jake is in The Ice King's [[Rule 34|Rule 63]] [[fanfic]]s Jake, or rather Cake, is voiced by Diane Amos or the [[nigger|nice black lady]] that does the ''Pine-Sol'' commercials. Surprisingly, she's the only person whose voice sounds like a natural fit for these gender swapped characters.
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">

File:Futurama what time is it.jpg|Bender if you have any humanity you will kill them
File:Jake the Dog.PNG|Jake in actual dog years
File:Adventure Time.jpg|IRL Adventure Time
File:Adventuretime4chan.png|YO DAWG I HEARD U LIEK ADVENTURES...
File:Adventure Time 2.jpg|...nevermind, they wont be going on any [[diabetes|Adventures]].
</gallery>|border=black|background=#FFA500}}
</center>
 
----
* [[Bitch|'''Princess Bubblegum''']]:[[File:Princess Bubblegum.gif|35px]]
And then there's ''this'' cunt who takes the expression Candy-Assed Bitch to a whole new level. Sugar-tits here is the [[bipolar]] [[ADHD]] suger-high autocrat of a land of "[[Trippin|Ooo]]"; a name that really sounds like something [[you]] would make when hallucinating or watching firworks. She keeps Finn [[Friend Zone|friend-zoned]] so [[Mario|he can save her ass whenever shit happens]]. She pissed off every fan to ever watch the show when she gave up being a [[13 year old girl]] and the chance to pull at Finn's [[Dick|Pee Pee]] to take back her kingdom. You think it's impossible for her to be any bigger of a cunt? Think again. In a [[North Korea|North Korean]] style Coup D'etat, grab for power she refused to accept the results of a fair election that she agreed to and threw out the King of Ooo, who was the people's choice to rule them [[Just Because]] she changed the rules and said Princesses don't need to get elected. In the Ice King's rule 63 stories she becomes the Bubblegum Prince: a pink, royal, [[douchebag]] that can only be described as a [[1980s]] Yuppie, coke head commodities trader that is [[incest|screwing his daughter]] because his wife got fat. The [[lulz|lulziest]] theory we've heard, with regards to the creation of Princess BubbleGum is that a [[Whore|Call-Girl]] was giving a scientist a [[oral|blow job]], with gum in her mouth. At the exact second the big bomb hit the Scientist [[Orgasm|came]] in the Call-Girl's mouth. In a Stan Lee style character creation, the radiation mutated the gum, seman and the whore's own DNA creating Princess BubbleGum. 

[[Trump|'''Gumbald''']]: Princess BubbleGum's evil uncle that is only evil in the [[SJW]] sense in that he has embraced [[Capitalism]] and [[Evolution|Social Darwinism]] over Sugar Tit's, (PBG's), archaic choice of an [[Government|Autocracy]] where she has all the say. Stealing from Arthurian Myth, Pedoton reintroduced both Fern Finn and Gumbald during Finn's 17th birthday party in a story that was literaly lifted from Sir Wayne's '''Green Knight''' saga - going so far as copying scene for scene when the '''Green Knight's''' head is cut off and he just puts it back on minus the little game of [[Soccer]] where all the Knights kick it around Arthur's great hall for a bit of fun.
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
File:Adventure_Time_34_21.jpg|'''Made from equal parts cunt and bubblegum'''
File:Princess Bubblegum.jpg|DO U WANT ME NOW FINN?!
File:Gumbald by plaguebucket-dbns5bl.png|Uncle Gumbald, the ruiner of everyone's shit
Image:Princess bubblegum by lepas-d7tvrex.jpg|Awww, how cute!...
File:Adventure_Time_34_22.jpeg|...I probably deserved this D:
</gallery>|border=black|background=#FF69B4}}
</center>
 
----
* [[Goth|'''Marceline''']]:[[File:Marceline.gif|80px]]
If you thought the [[Twilight|sparkling]] wasn't badass enough, vampires suck [[Dick|red]] now and have more daddy issues than your average bar hooker. Mostly in the show to serve as the [[whore|experienced, older girl]] who will most likely take Finn's virginity. So far Marceline is the first and only girl Finn has seen naked. Finn would later describe it to Jake as [[awesome|Transcendent]] and Marceline would later admit to a jealous Princess Bubblegum that she only did it for [[I did it for the lulz|the lulz]]. Once Marceline's [[Bitch]] mode had been activated, she went straight for Bubblegum's throat by admitting she would have [[Oral|sat on Finn's Face]] if she thought he was ready for it or, at least, had a decent idea of what he needed to do. Her [[Rule 63]] character Marshall-Lee has made it his reason for living to [[virgin|pop Fiona's cherry]] or rather Finn's rule 63 character. Even someone as [[retard|dense]] as the Ice King knows about and writes about Marceline's obsession with taking Finn's virginity in his rule 63 fanfics. Marceline has even added her own spin to the Ice King's stories with her male version Marshel Lee just seconds from penetrating an awe-struck and more than willing Fiona's [[vagina|pink]]. With Marshal Lee dripping from his tip and just milimeters from that first thrust where he can say he really knows Fiona they're interupted and Fiona makes the [[cliche|cliched]], virgin's escape so she can re-think her fascination and desire for Marshal Lee. Some fans speculate that Marceline is obsessed with Finn's [[religion|soul/spirt]] and hunts down all his incarnations, like [[Japan|Shoko]], so she can be the one to corrupt him and ''steal his innocence'' because she has admitted to spying on him in his tree house, especially when he undresses and bathes. It's going to happen.
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
Image:Finn sees nude Marceline.gif|And off come the panties
File:Marceline Kills Finn45678.jpg|Do It! Do It! Do It! Do It! Do It!
File:Adventure Time cosplay 2.jpg|Marceline the Hot Topic Queen
File:Adventure Time shipping 15.jpg|This explains these two characters pretty well actually.
File:AdventureTimeGravityFalls.jpg|GOTTA GET OWL TROWEL
File:Marceline Anime red507812.jpg|Sugoooi Marcy-kun
File:Adventure Time shipping 11.jpg|I hope senpai notices me
File:Adventure_Time_Homophobe.png|To be fair, they def fuck.
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_14.jpg|Awww, how cute!...
File:Adventure_Time_34_7.jpg|...God damnit not again D:
</gallery>|border=black|background=#708090}}
</center>
 
----
* [[Pedophile|'''Ice King''']]:[[File:Ice King.png|70px]]
The old coot who wastes his life kidnapping and anally sodomizing princesses for generic-villain reasons and fantasizing with [[Rule 63|gender-swaps]] of [[Shota|prepubescent boys]]. In this LSD inspired world of Pendelton Ward's where the Ice King likes kidnapping princess so he has something to stick his [[dick]] in he has to be an old, senile, [[sick fuck]] because when the princesses in this world consist of a dog, a slimey self aware cum shot and a literal chick made out of breakfast foods, every ounce of crazy helps when you're stuck in a world where if you want to get laid, you can't be too picky. Sadly [[Shit no one cares about|his backstory]] is more lulzy than the show as a whole. He generally acts like a [[Basement dweller|basement-dwelling]], [[LoveShy|love-shy]] manchild, so [[Truth|the majority of the fanbase identifies with him]]. The only thing even remotely cool about The Ice King is that his heart is voiced by George Takai and George isn't shy with the ''"Oh My"'' fanservice. The part that sucks is, because of George Takai playing The Ice King's heart, [[Fantard]]s and Ice King/Finn [[ship|shippers]] like to argue that this makes the Ice King [[gay]] because his heart is played by an openly gay actor. Ever since since season 5, when the creators decided that the Ice King needed depth and shouldn't be only known as the in-show [[Sick Fuck|Princess rapist]], they've made him the in-show historian for when a connection to the past is needed because he is the oldest character in the show - having lived longer than Marceline and Sugar-Tits (Princess Bubblegum). The only character that might be older than him is Marceline's father but that is only if he was always a [[Satan|demon]] and didn't sell his soul, after killing his [[Your Mom|Mother]] like some [[retard|soft in the head]] [[Metal (music)|Ozzy]] fan thinking it'd make them an original.
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
File:Adventure Time cosplay 5.jpg|The Etsy King
File:AdventuretimeAnimu.jpg|Return Of The Human: The Ice King Strikes Back
File:Adventure Time shipping 9.jpg|Please ignore the obvious 40-year age difference.
File:Ice King 2.jpg|I murdered the entire planet.
File:Ice king and marceline 123.jpg|!!!ACHTUNG!!!
File:Ice King Badass65789.jpg|🤘 Heilige Scheiße! 🤘 This is bad ass enough to be a Heavy Metal Album Cover. 🤘


</gallery>|border=blue|background=#0000FF}}
</center>
 
----
* '''[[DOUBLE RAINBOW|Lady Rainicorn]]''':[[File:Lady Rainicorn.gif]]
A [[Azn|Korean]] unicorn-rainbow hybrid that is somehow Jake's [[canon]] love-interest. And if that wasn't retarded enough already, they somehow managed to mate and conceive [[inbred|offsprings]]. Most likely an [[Spic|Illegal Immigrant]] since she doesn't speak [[English]] and can only run around mumbling in clicks, whistles and grunts, ensuring that no one will ever be able to understand her. Much like that one [[Transformers|Autobot]] that can fly, she only shows up when Princess Bubblegum needs a ride somewhere. She's only in the show to represent diversity because in Pedoton Ward's perfect world, after the big bomb exploded just over Harlem - there were no more [[nigger|black people]] but still needing people to maintain and build their I.T. hardware in the ''Kingdom of Ooo'', Ward let the [[Korea|Koreans]] survive. Her rule 63 version, Lord Monochromicorn is just as boring as she is. Some fans have come up with an interesting argument about Lady Rainicorn's [[Rule 63]] character flip. They have been saying that if boy is the opposite of girl then [[Nigger|black]] is the opposite of [[Azn]] and why Princess Rainicorn went from a rainbow coloured unicorn to a one colored, '''BLACK''' unicorn. The argument goes that Azns are hard-working, self-starting, disciplened, intelligent people where blacks are, well, not. The fan argument goes further in saying that Pedoton Ward is making a statement because no one else has a colour shift. If he was committed to his rule 63 swap, they say, shouldn't Lord Chromicorn be some kind of magical stallion like Sleipnir in [[Nazi|Norse Mythology]] or a winged horse like Pegasus in [[Anal|Greek Mythology]] because Unicorns are almost always girls?
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
File:5a2492dcabe2288525238302848daf74.jpg|Lady Tumblrcorn
File:Adventure Time cosplay 1.jpg|BURN THE NON-BELIEVER
File:Brony raincorn .png|For fucks sake.

File:Brony raincorn ass shot.jpg|DTF?...
File:Lady raincoat heart black..jpg|Ah, how schweet

File:Eb8bfb5c9225dcd014e54a5cca43bdaf.png|...Oh yah, they're DTF alright.
</gallery>|border=black|background=white}}
</center>
 
----
* [[Tranny|'''Lumpy Space Princess''']]:[[File:Lumpy Space Princess.gif|35px]]
Ward lives out his dream of being a [[BBW]] [[Tranny|transvestite]] by voicing this fat fucking shemale. It's later revealed that she wants Finn to fuck her [[Narcissistic personality disorder|since he began as Ward's self insert]]. [[Retard|Fantards]] are prone to arguing that her "LUMPS" refer to [[boobs|Tits]] and [[ass]] and as a female character she is meant to have a rocking bod. Her alleged huge tits are the "LUMPS" she is named for. If there's any validity to that theory, would that mean her [[Rule 63]] character '''Lumpy Space Prince''' has a 36 centimeter [[Penis|cock]]? Given her ridiculous, rampant behaviour displayed throughout most of the show, her initials may as well be changed to "LSD".
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery perrow=5 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
File:Adventure Time shipping 4.jpg|Too badass to use Photoshop? [[MS Paint]], fucker!
File:Adventure Time shipping 5.jpg|Probably happened tbh.
File:Adventure Time shipping 6.jpg|THIS LUMPIN LINE ART BLEH BLEH BLEH
Image:1fantardlsp111.png|This is how fans see LSP...
File:LSP Cosplay im blond584124.jpg|...And this is what LSP would actually look like.
</gallery>|border=black|background=#BA55D3}}
</center>
 
----
* [[Useless|'''BMO''']]:[[File:BMO.gif]]
BMO is a fucking [[retard]] that was all that Finn and Jake could afford from [[Whore|their daily jobs]]. It's just a fucked up [[Game Boy Advance|Game Boy]] slave that they have around their dope-ass tree house which reeks of bong water and piss. When Finn and Jake go on adventures or are out of the house, BMO likes to smoke up their stash and pretend that he's a Raymond Chandler, film noir style detective. In the Ice King's rule 63 fanfics, BMO is the only character that doesn't have a gender flipped character as he is considered sexless because he's a machine and, depending on the character speaking, BMO can be referred to as either a he or a she.
[[File:41wl3nXvufL. SY300 .jpg|center]]
 

==ITS FOR ADULTS OKAY?!==
[[File:Eb1fc20b61fca9ff0b9517fbd4ca397e4d221d51 hq.jpg|thumb|right|250px|This is all very important stuff]]
[[File:Adventure Time shipping 1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|My <s>pokemons</s> Adventure Time ships let me show you them.]]
This piece of shit is probably the worst thing ever created by Pedoton Ward and his crew, because now every 40 year old [[pedo]] [[virgin]] that watches the show thinks it's the coolest thing ever done on TV, as it reminds them of their childhoods. [[YouTube]] is being filled to the brim with fan made videos because it strikes a chord with Adventure Time fantards, who want to be like The [[Pedophile|Ice King]] and be the last person on Earth with their very own, personal [[loli]]. It is reaching a new level of retardation because Adventure Time fans group it together with all the Simon/Ice King and [[Goth|Marceline]] references to argue that these shorts are proof that Adventure Time "[[Hahaha no|has depth]]" and therefore should receive an Emmy. Adventure Time is also quite popular among people who wanna see cartoons fuck and because of this it has a dedicated following of people willing to speculate on which one might fuck the others. This is known as '''creepy autism''' and currently it has no cure known to modern science at this time.
<center>{{frame|<gallery perrow=4 heights="150px" widths="150px" class="center">
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_18.jpg|10/10 - Already happened
File:Adventure_Time_34_6.jpg|9/10 - Confirmed as true
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_17.jpg|8/10 - Imminent
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_16.jpg|6/10 - Probably Happening
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_13.jpg|5/10 - Possible
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_12.jpg|4/10 - Not Likely
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_10.jpg|3/10 - Never Occurring
File:Adventure_Time_shipping_7.jpg|1/10 - Impossible
</gallery>|border=black|background=white}}</center>
{{clear}}
 

==Videos==
<center>'''Ice King tries to lull Marceline to Sleep with some singing so he can [[Rape|"PLAY" with her]]'''</center>
<center><youtube>JNMfr7WFmpY</youtube></center>

==Galleries==
{{Collapsegallery|Different Faggots. Same Faggotry.|Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Adventuretimeinanutshell.jpg|MERCHANDISING TIME
File:Peppermint Butler.jpg|It's cool, he knows death.
Image:Ricardiotheheartguy.jpg|So... George Takei definitely raped a guy right?
File:Kellywhoring12.jpg|The moar the cosplay, the smaller the boobs.
File:Kellywhoring11.jpg|Even a close-up doesn't make them look any bigger.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Adventure_Time_cosplay_4.jpg|This show is only for one of you and you can get fucked little baby.
File:Adventure_Time_sexual_joke.png|OH I GET IT
File:Adventure_Time_boob_joke.JPG|ITS A SEX JOKE IN A CARTOON
File:Tumblr inline mokoazW1pM1qz4rgp.gif|Later explodes because he hates Harp music
File:Adventure_Time_-_Rainbow_Goop.jpg|Id rather be dancing with some babes.
File:Lemongrab and Rigby shipping.png|This show is kinda gay maybe?
File:Adventure Time shipping 3.jpg|Like... fairly gay I guess.
File:Adventure_Time_34_18.png|Yah, it's pretty gay!
File:Adventure Time yaoi.jpg|Fuck, this show is literally the gayest
Image:1puhoy111.png|This is why wet dreams are bad. You can knock up your pillow and comforter and who wants to make child support payments to those 2 whores?
File:Adventure_Time_34_1.jpg|Oh
File:Adventure_Time_34_10.jpg|You
File:Adventure_Time_34_11.JPG|Thought
File:Adventure_Time_34_12.jpg|There
File:Adventure_Time_34_13.JPG|Wouldn't
File:Adventure_Time_34_14.jpg|Be
File:Adventure_Time_34_15.png|A
File:Adventure_Time_34_16.png|Massive
File:Adventure_Time_34_17.png|Shitload
File:Adventure_Time_34_19.jpg|Of
File:Adventure_Time_34_2.jpg|Adventure
File:Adventure_Time_34_20.jpg|Time
File:Adventure_Time_34_3.jpg|Porn?
File:Adventure_Time_34_4.jpg|You
File:Adventure_Time_34_5.jpg|Thought
File:Adventure_Time_34_8.jpg|Wrong
File:Adventure_Time_34_9.jpg|Fgt
File:MisAdventure-Time-rule34 1.jpeg|
File:MisAdventure-Time Rule34—2.jpeg|
File:Adventure_Time_God.png|What the fuck is wrong with you
File:Adventure_Time_tentacle_rape.jpg|...Nevermind
File:Why you don't ship Finn and Marceline.jpg|Super cute right?
File:Marceline goth girl 111.jpg|Way cute!
File:Adventure_Time_cosplay_7.jpg|Lame.
File:Adventure Time cosplay 6.JPG|Ugh.
</gallery>}} 

==See Also==
===Similar shitty shows===
* ''[[The Fairly Oddparents]]''
* ''[[Regular Show]]''
* ''[[Steven Universe]]''
* ''[[Gravity Falls]]''
* ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]''
* ''[[Rick and Morty]]''
* ''[[The Adventures Of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]''
* ''[[Unikitty]]''

===Misc.===
* [[deviantART]]
* [[Drugs]]
* [[Cartoons]]
* [[Hipsters]]
* [[Permaloli]]
* [[Scene]]
* [[Tumblr]]

==External Links==
* [https://archive.fo/4Rz6l Is Adventure Time A Gateway Drug To LSD, Homosexuality, and the Rave Lifestyle?]

{{indie}}
{{Cartoons}}

[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
{{timeline|Featured article September 22 & 23, [[2012]]|[[Bill O'Reilly]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Soulbonding]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article June 15 & 16, [[2018]]|[[Golden iPod]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[I masterbauted right after the Sandy Hook Shooting]]}}

{{{timeline|Featured article July 12 & July 13, [[2024]]|[[K-pop]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Regular Show]]}}

Regular Show

2024-08-15T22:34:58Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{DISPLAYTITLE:''Regular Show''}}
[[File:RegularShowTitle.jpg|thumb|300px|right]]

<div style="text-align:center; background: #F8F8F8; border: 1px solid #DDDDDD; padding: 5px; margin: 1em;" class="notice metadata" id="spoilers">This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example, '''HOLY SHIT THEY GO INTO SPACE, POPS HAS AN EVIL TWIN AND PERMA B&S HIMSELF AND HIS BROTHER AND EVERYONE FUCKS EACH OTHER SPAWNING FURRY ABOMINATIONS!!!!1111!</div>

'''''Regular Show''''' is a boring-as-fuck [[Nostalgiafag|80's-based]] show for [[furfag]] [[stoners]] which airs on Cartoon Network. The show revolves around the lives of two useless hipster dweebs named "[[Bird|Mordecai]]" and "[[Furry|Rigby]]", who fail at their jobs every day. The vast majority of episodes in ''Regular Show'' are exceptionally ''[[Autistic|irregular]]'', and can be summarised as "two furries fighting over whatever the writers <s>pulled out of their ass that week</s> (implies that the writers could make something worthwhile if they actually used their brain) pulled out of their untalented brain", and sometimes the above with [[FanFiction|shipping]].

What was originally mean't to be a show about a human zoo tended by animals, Cartoon Network spotted the potential original idea and shut it down, as they cannot allow an original idea to broadcast on their channel and, probably, because the original series would have spawned more hardcore furry porn and autism than the entirety of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] franchise. Even though people on the internet are now desensitised to hardcore furry porn as there is so much of it.

''Regular Show'' was developed by James Quintel, an [[artfag]] whose mediocre cartoons are the main source of ''Cartoon Network's'' death, this show has [[TL;DW|eight fucking seasons]] and yet Quintel has never realized how boring-as-fuck and repetitive the entire series has become over time, to the point where no one really gives a shit anymore.

==Plot==
[[File:Death grips regular show.png|thumb|250px|right]]

{{quote|(00:51) @mrbraindead: this is not for kids

(00:51) @mrbraindead: this is the ren and stimpy for kids who are in MENSA}}

'''Regular Show''' somehow manages to have less effort placed unto it's plot than most cartoons which have aired since the mid-2000s, as even though the world gets nearly destroyed in most of the episodes, it's never referenced to again. So it's nice to know that the show's creators possess the same attention-span as [[stoners|its fanbase]].

[[At least 100|99%]] of the show's episodes follow this formula:

'''1.''' The two main characters make a huge fuck-up.

'''2.''' Resort to some bullshit insane restoration technique that almost always causes a huge fucking catastrophe.

'''3.''' Always desperately seeks out Step #2 to avoid getting their lazy asses fired from their dweeb boss.

'''4.''' Repeat Step #1.

The closest thing Regular Show has to offer that resembles a plot is [[pussy-whipped|Mordecai]]'s crush on a slutty waitress named "Margaret", despite it being an obvious [[cumdumpster]] as it appeared to have a new boyfriend in every episode it was in. In recent episodes though, Margaret has revealed to be single and is warming up on Mordecai. Why should I give a fuck and what's with the "it" and not "she" you may ask? Well, you see how Margaret is red? In reality, only ''male'' robins carry red feathers, [[Gay|making Mordecai]]...

==Characters==
[[File:Regular Show Characters.PNG|thumb|250px|right]]

'''Regular Show's''' concept and cast show that they were made by Quintel's art [[college]] years; it's just boring [[furries]] doing boring things.

* '''[[Mary Sue|Mordecai]] and [[ADHD|Rigby]]''': Rigby is an overzealous raccoon who is Mordecai's only friend. Even though the little shit's stupidities are the only thing that keep the episode's plot moving forward, that doesn't change the fact that he's the most annoying character in the show. Mordecai is the boring one. Together they're employed as park groundskeepers, but being an [[artfag|art college graduate]], he even sucks at that. Rigby became a bit more bearable as the show goes on while Mordecai remains a whiny little faggot. Eventually the show trolls its fanbase killing each other over who Mordecai puts his beak into only for him to end up with some random bat girl in the end.

* '''[[serious business|Benson]]''': A bipolar gumball machine who, aside from being a shitty boss for not even being able to handle the two morons, is notable for his [[rage]] fits and penchant for [[V/|ruining any potential fun]] his underlings may be having.

* '''[[Olchai|Pops]]''': A senile [[Pedophile|lollipop man]] whose [[British|Britfag]] accent and 5-year-old mentality earn him the title of being the biggest fag in the show. At some time, he was apparently a somewhat more functional being, until the duo crushed him with a golf cart and gave him brain damage. Becomes [[an hero]] in the finale to kill his twin brother. We're supposed to care about this even though he spent the entirety of the show being nothing but a comic relief character who spouted non-sequiturs.

* '''[[Jackass|Muscle Man]]''': A green hulk-like midget who's [[Powerword|real name]] is [[Jew|Mitch Sorrenstein]]{{Jew}}. [[Some Argue|Arguably]] the ''only thing'' stupider than Rigby, as he [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|considers himself to be superior to everyone]] despite being a dumbass comedy hack that always cracks "[[Fail|My]] mom!" [[Unfunny|jokes]]. His best friend is a ghost with a hand sticking out of its head in high-five position, creatively named Hi-Five Ghost. He uses his ghostly hand to fist Muscle Man in the RV every night.

* '''[[Useless|Hi-Five Ghost]]''': Muscle Man's bisexual [[butt buddy]]. Is by far the most useless of the main characters and barely ever talks, let alone gets involved in the plot. In recent episodes, the creators seem to have remembered that he exists, and have given him a bit of backstory as well as a (human, for some reason) girlfriend, but by this point it's just [[shit nobody cares about]].

* '''[[Ape|Skips]]''': A [[homosexual|bodybuilding]] Yeti who cleans up after Mordecai and Rigby's shit.

* '''[[Whore|Margaret]]''': A [[Trap|Female]] robin that fucks human men and is a [[hipster|coffee shop mistress]]. Her only purpose was to be Mordecai's love interest. Went to college and dumped Mordecai. Came back to make more unnecessary drama.

* '''[[Rule 63|Starla]]''': Muscle Man's fatass of a girlfriend who looks and acts like [[Rule 63|a female version of him]]. She's by far the most hated character in the show, as not even the most hardcore autistic fans of the show like her.

* '''[[Skank|CJ]]''': A cloud or smoke or something, and is a [[hipster|coffee shop mistress]]. Her only purpose is to be Mordecai's love interest after Margaret dumps him.

* '''[[Dork|Eileen]]''': She's to Rigby as Margaret is to Mordecai, but while Margaret has the personality of cardboard box, Eileen has the personality of a Styrofoam crate. While she is supposed to be a mole, she looks like a human more than anything for [[Closet Furry|some strange reason]].

* '''[[Goatse|Thomas]]''': Originally the Meg Griffin of Regular Show, then turned into a James Bond Russian Spy rip-off after the writers forgot he was a character. Furries shat their pants in anger after he left the show.

* '''[[Billy Mitchell|Garrett Bobby Ferguson]]''': A character clearly based on Billy Mitchell, who actually sued Cartoon Network over this character.

* '''Pam''': A clear knock-off of [[Adventure Time|Betty Grof]], except without having experienced ''any'' magic, madness or sadness so is incredibly boring.

* '''Death''': Similar to the [[Family Guy]] character of the same name but a whole lot worse!

* '''[[Five Nights at Freddy's|Dominic, Amelia and Louie]]''': They are the animatronics of the so-called "Capicola Gang" that some people somehow ''genuinely'' believe predicted Five Nights at Freddy's. I kid you not.

==Episodes==
:''See [[Regular Show/Episode Guide]]''

:There's also a [[Anime|special]] called 「[[Anime|Ｂｒｉｌｌｉａｎｔ　Ｃｅｎｔｕｒｙ　Ｄｕｃｋ　Ｃｒｉｓｉｓ　Ｓｐｅｃｉａｌ]]」; otherwise known as "Every mecha anime ever, go yoai yourselves desu".

:They have a movie too. In it Rigby gets rejected from "[[Redundant|College University]]" even though everyone ever gets into that school and it was a record year for how little people applied, so he gets Mordecai kicked out as well.

==Galleries==
{{Collapsegallery|Different Faggots. Same Faggotry.|Cosplay and Bad Fanart Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Regular Show cosplay 3.jpg|Don't mind them, that's just their blowjob-face.
File:Regular Show (Mordecai 63 and Rigby 3).jpeg|Some people really will fap to anything.
File:Regular Show cosplay.jpg|Typical Regular Show fantards.
File:Pops cosplay.jpg
File:Regular Show 5.jpg|That's a tail, you [[Furfag|pervert]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Regular Show (Benson).PNG
File:Regular Show 6.jpg
File:Regular Show.png
File:Benson 4.png|How [[you]] see your boss.
File:Benson 1.JPG
File:Benson 3.jpg
File:Benson 2.jpg|Words cannot describe the stupidity of these couples.
File:Regular Show shipping.png
File:Lemongrab and Rigby shipping.png
File:Regular Show 8.png
File:Regular Show shipping 3.png|Give the fans some credit. They just ''had'' to work hard to make couples this stupid.
File:Regular Show 34 3.png
File:Regular Show Coprophagia.jpg
File:Regular Show 34 2.jpg
File:Regular Show 34 4.jpg
File:Suck my Mordecock.gif|[[Fail|Jehovah's Witnesses]]
File:WhoTheFuckInTheirRightMind.png|Well, you have to hand it to these people, at least they try to make [[Science|biologically-correct]] porn.
File:Regular_Show_relationship_scam_Ad.png
File:From the desk of J G Quintel.jpg
File:Adventure Time 34 1.png
File:Mordecai.jpg
File:Regular Show Death.png
File:Regular show Porn.jpg
File:Mordecai masturbating.gif
File:Regular Show elbow strike.gif
File:Mordecai flasher.jpg
File:Regular Show Everything is better with a bag of weed.jpg
File:Regular Show Pops.gif
File:Regular Show High Score.JPG
File:Regular Show High Score reuploaded.JPG
File:Regular Show cosplay 2.jpg
</gallery>}} 

<center><youtube>LiViiubjLDM</youtube></center>

==See Also==
* [[Furfag]]
* ''[[Adventure Time]]''
* [[deviantART]]
* [[Drugs]]
* [[FurAffinity]]
* [[Hipsters]]
* [[Tumblr]]

==External Links==
* <s>{{ytlink|4U44qN3n0pk|A Regular Show fanboy's generic butthurt response to this article}}</s> BALEETED!

{{Furfaggotry}}
{{Cartoons}}
{{indie}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 22 & 23, [[2012]]|[[Bill O'Reilly]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Soulbonding]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article June 12 & 13, [[2024]]|[[Bubba Copeland]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Family Guy]]}}

[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Hipster Shit]]

Family Guy

2024-08-15T22:34:41Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{spoilers|Brian's death really was just a ploy to get attention! It worked thanks to the legion of stupid people who [[BAWWWWW]] at this crap!}}
[[Image:Familyguyreaction.jpg|thumb|[[DO NOT WANT|Typical reaction]] to watching ''Family Guy''.]]
[[Image:Family_guy_bingo.jpg|thumb|right|''Family Guy'' bingo, where everyone's a winner!]]

There is a show broadcasted by Fox that doesn't deserve the euphemistic labels of 'Autistic' or 'Retarded'. Rather, the shorthand title aptly explains in acronym form its [[truth|true]] description, you see '''F'''amily '''G'''uy or '''FG''' actually stands for [[Ray William Johnson|'''F'''ake and '''G'''ay]]. Nothing further is to be expected from this "show" and should (as advised pre-airing) be viewed with extreme discretion as watching this show has more severe mind-numbing properties than [[alcohol]], [[meth]], T.V., /[[b]]/, or worst of all, [[weed]].

The haphazard plot lines when broadcast through the airwaves are so awful they literally cause a scent to belch from the speakers of any receiving television, thus explaining the wretched sulfuric [[Crap|diarrhea]] stench that all '''FG''' fans reek of. This however only explains only about [[Fact|twelve percent of the demographic]], the remaining eighty-eight percent are comprised of neglected infants who already smell of [[shit]], and of course neglected youth from about age five and above who are too busy emitting pubescent, berry-scented hormones which attract [[pedophiles]], masking the shit smell still to [[cum|come]] when they reach the drinking age for all '''FG''' fans: <16

''Family Guy'' has irrelevant social commentary, toilet humor, cheap animation, and anything else foul or esoteric, and any true person or EDiot will find that the plot, though pockmarked at every turn with distracting cutaways, has the overall simplicity and streamlining one would come to expect from kids shows such as ''[[Teen Titans|Teen Titans Go!]]'', ''[[Canada|Johnny Test]]'', ''[[Regular Show]]'', ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'', ''[[Clarence]]'', or ''[[Adventure Time]]'', all of which airs on the same channel as ''Family Guy'': Cartoon Ne[[twerk]], proving once and for all that all of televised animation is targeted towards children and [[Man child|olchi]].

Like 96% of all shows on [[Fox|Faux]], ''Family Guy'' has a cast of one dimensional, unoriginal characters, of which being a family whose main selling points are the [[retard|sped]] father, a whore wife, two or so damaged kids, an [[furry|English-speaking pet]]/[[alien]]/[[Negro|something else]] and a [[Chris Chan|hideously deformed, extraneous homosexual]]. All of these characters were concocted in the cyclical-thinking mind of Seth MacFarlane, creator of even less entertaining deviations such as ''American Dad!'' and the White Nigger Variety Show.

These all have a range of five to seven main characters and countless secondary and tertiary peons that, at any given time, will without fail persistently undergo completely unrealistic [[uncyclopedia|uncyclopedic]] adventures, and no matter what they do, such as bomb children's hospitals, inject themselves with the [[Gay|disease]] and have eleven way orgies, kill hundreds upon thousands of people while fighting humanoid fowl, or summon the Kool-Aid Man in a courthouse, everything returns to normal by the next week and no consequences ever occur, during which not a single lol is produced, and only indirectly does the program create some [[lulz]] when impressionable children try all of this and wind up killing themselves or others.

The show was canceled twice for good reason, but after the Great Retard Revolt of '04 '''F'''(a)'''G''' gave itself the James Woods revitalization routine and was reborn into even worse crap than it was originally, like James Woods. It now often crosses lines that [[ED]] crossed far before '''FG''' even dared to even consider hinting at it, and is still the epitome of plagiarism of such long-standing shows as ''[[The Simpsons]]'', which has only remained popular due to the yellow-skinned majority of its cast, easing unwarranted racial guilt felt by the [[white man]], and thus discretely displacing it upon those god-awful [[Chinks]].

==Characters==

=== The Griffins ===
[[Image:Familyguy9.gif|600px|center]]
*'''[[Retard|Peter Griffin]]''': [[Penis|Peter]] is perhaps the wittiest allegory ever devised and broadcast on television, although this isn't an achievement in the slightest, as all of [[television]] has been terrible since the dawn of time when Andy Griffith first emerged from the primordial ooze. He is the main character, humor point, and sex appeal of the show and is, as described in the show, just under the line of retardation and far above the inferior intellect of [[creationists]]. This is the only [[fact]] ever stated in the 14+ years the show has eeled by. He was an attempted [[abortion]] and an [[Spic|illegal immigrant]], but this still does not change the fact he is the everyman of the show.

*'''[[MILF|Lois Griffin]]''': The role model of the show, who's had bouts with [[anorexia]], bulimia, [[dox|petty theft]], celebrity phallic molding, meth, having birth defected children, having sex with [[whales]] (see above) and who could forget sending another character to [[rape]] a [[sixteen year old]], Lois, is an almost disowned heiress of her parent's fortune who has a sister only loved by [[batman]] and an estranged whaler for a brother. She is rarely seen doing any work around the house, and is sparsely revered for her womanhood and is rarely respected by her persona (as if there is anything to respect). She is basically the coagulated, crusty shit heap representation of girls, women, and subhuman [[feminists]] and accurately describes the [[female]] gender as a whole.

*'''[[13-year old boy|Chris Griffin]]''': Chris is a [[Fat|butterball]], [[Fat|elephant]] child Sped much like his father and has a sack chin and a penis hidden under a [[FAT|mile of blubber]]. He has never had sex with a [[human]], only with the [[nigger|evil monkey]] that at one time [[homosexual|lived in his closet]].

*'''[[16-year old girl|Meg Griffin]]''': Meg is the spittoon, garbage can, port-o-john, punching bag, and date rape of '''FG'''. Her heart is located on her head, and she wears a pink condom to hide it, which she has never washed. She has dated prisoners, dead bodies, black market organ harvesters, and a few other one-time characters. That being said, she has still gone on more dates than [[you]] and as she has had sex with a [[Dead|corpse]], A [[Jew]], A [[Dog]], [[Incest|Her Brother]] and A Medical Student, she has also gotten laid more times than [[you]].

*'''[[Baby fuck|Stewie Griffin]]''': Stewie is a subliminal ploy by Seth MacFarlane to create a new age of homosexuals that, in his eyes, will one day take over the earth. Stewie is a closet case baby who has had his head elongated into the shape of a football due to the massive size of Lois's vagina and very frequently tries to solicit sex from every male character, including Brian, who is a dog.

*'''[[Furry|Brian Griffin]]''': Brian Griffin is, in human years a college dropout, liberal thinking atheist (sound familiar?) who is constantly tries to push and plug his dreadful furry fan fiction and abominable novel. He is the embodiment of the show's creator in that Seth MacFarlane has a penis that retracts into him when he stands up, and acts as an excuse for Seth to shove his political opinions into a cartoon aimed at stoned college students. Strangely, women are drawn into his pseudo-intellectualism and though he can only nail dumb GOTIS broads with his dog dick, and knows it, he still continues to be a pompous asshole who drives a [[gay|Prius]], he is yet to confess his gay love for his butt buddy, Stewie.

**On 11/24/2013 Brian became [[an hero]] and was killed off in a desperate attempt to steal the hype that ''The Simpsons'' had built promising a character death (proving once again that MacFaglane is an unoriginal Jew who only wants the moniez). This has caused much whining in the fanbase (the same fanbase that won't let this series die) as virgins forevermore mourn the incredibly cheesy death of a '''cartoon''' dog, who was nothing more than a [[Mary Sue]] [[self-insert]]. An unfunny attempt at stirring up lazy drama revolving around sympathy for a self-inserted character in an over-hyped and unoriginal comedy with a minimalist art style? [[CTRL ALT Delete|Where does this seem familiar?]]

*'''[[Guido|Vinnie]]''': Italian dog temporarily replacing Brian. When he isn't being the most likable character in the show (since nobody in the show sets the standard too high), he's making the same Italian jokes that we've heard a million times.

=== Secondary characters ===
*'''[[Pervert|Glenn Quagmire]]''': His last name means a bad situation, which is the perfect identification for the show itself. Quagmire trolls everywhere and anywhere for dat ass, and is more one dimensional than anybody else in the show. He also hates Brian for many [[Truth|truthful]] reasons on why he sucks as a living being. According to [[Shit no one cares about|fan speculation]], Brian was outright murdered instead of merely killed by an unmarked car whose windows we can't see inside, and that Quagmire might have been the driver responsible.

*'''[[Nigger|Cleveland Brown]]''': Token black character. The most [[boring]] of Peter's clique, he talks slow only to piss off viewers. This was of course before what is equivalent to the 9/11 of television when this portly, black bastard got his own far worse than mediocre show. ([[Truth|P.S. The guy who voices him is white]]).

*'''[[Cripple|Joe Swanson]]''': Some gimp or whatever, can't piss, masturbate, has to use BDSM to poo, has a daughter who was sewn in the [[vagina]] for like ten years and a son who [[Coward|faked his death]] after seeing some old dude he didn't know die. He makes everyone who doesn't used ED feel bad, everyone who uses ED lol and /b/tards laugh as they violate and defile every facet of reality. He is the least interesting character there is and has a shitty backstory of being a cop who first got crippled by the Grinch, but Seth was like "Psych! Lol" and made him crippled through some undercover shit or something.

===Season 8's new art style===
Starting with season 8, the show switched to lazy puppet animation relying on only 4 views usually being 3/4 views, the characters being geometrical and ugly.

===The fucking chicken===
In the show's [[Fail|great]] tradition of jokes that go for way, way, way too long, in an early episode there was a several-minute-long extremely unfunny scene where Peter fought a man in a chicken suit. For some reason Seth thought people liked this "joke" and so he bought it back several times and it is now about 40% of the show's content. It is so popular, in fact, that it has an entire DVD committed only to showcasing the battles. [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002XY6A46 Don't believe me?]

===Criticisms===
[[Image:Brianlois.jpg|thumb|"...like that time we made a [[Rule 34|34]]."]]

Nothing more can be said about how pitiful this show is. Even the Rule 34 is bad (see right), whenever FG porn trickles its way into the manifolds of /b/ everyone goes flaccid and the thread dies of cancer, which it would have had initially anyway.

It should be noted that, while ''Simpsons'' fans accuse ''Family Guy'' of unoriginality (in which they are absolutely right), ''The Simpsons'' itself has merely employed the same formulaic cartoon-like jokes as shown in hundreds of animated series, but with utter disregard for any facet of popular or modern culture (which is why ''The Simpsons'' remains popular with [[nerd]]s and virgin ''[[Slashdot]]'' fanboys who have no relation with the outside world, although it can't touch ''Family Guy'' in that regard).

This awful show has no continuity at all. In an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' Matt Stone and Trey Parker attempt to "reveal" how exactly all the retarded, unfunny flashbacks were created: [[Fat|manatees]] and [[balls]]. Of course this was already apparent to anyone with an IQ over 85 but it took ''South Park'' to point this out to ''South Park'' fans and this was accepted as gospel.

''Family Guy'' fans, of course, were filled with disbelief. This led to them being silent for an entire minute as they digested this fact, in what has come to be known as, "the greatest minute ever spent with ''Family Guy'' fans, ever".

Openly [[pedophile|pedophiliac]] creator [[Faggot|Seth MacFarlane]] has also come under criticism for [[Liberalism|pushing his politics on the show]] and other faggotry like his love of adding [[Shit nobody cares about|pointless musical numbers]] to inflict his 'singing', [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|which only he considers special]]. Like the dog on the show, Seth MacFarlane is a liberal with a gay cousin. The dog went from an unfunny background character to having entire episodes built around him being a pretentious asshole and [[bestiality|banging hot chicks]]. Which means MacFarlane is [[furry|living out his fantasies through a fucking animal and is goddamn furry queer]].

''Family Guy'' may as well be created by [[Eric Bauman]] by padding all of its new content with [[Unwarranted self-importance|stolen]] [[memes]] from the [[Internet|Internets]] so [[newfags]] can giggle and ask their [[13_year_old_boy|middle school friends]] if they saw that one episode over [[AIM]].

Since all the series writers and producers are self-hating Jews, the show has sparked [https://vimeo.com/60683823 major lolage] with its anti-semitic content.

==Writing==

The secret to writing a [[crap|good]] ''Family'' Guy episode is this simple formula.

*'''Step 1''': Start every joke with "You think THAT'S bad, remember the time I..."
*'''Step 2''': Mix two pop culture references that were popular before [[1980s|1990]] "...hung out with Michael J. Fox in the Mushroom Kingdom?"
*'''Step 3''': Your punchline should involve a sex joke or an attack on Bush that was rejected from ''[[leftard|The Daily Show]]''.
**Michael J. Fox: Oh, hi Peter! Is it just me or are these shrooms making you shake?
**Peter Griffin: I think you have Parkinsons.
**Michael J. Fox: Phew, I thought we contracted AIDS.
**Peter Griffin (Grabs Fox): NO ONE MUST EVER KNOW!!!
*'''Step 4''': Fill up remaining fifteen minutes with an entire shitty 80s music video, use cheap cinematic effects if necessary.

==Fandom==
The fandom consists of [[autism|autistic]] people, the [[mentally retarded]], [[13-year-old boy]]s, [[high school]] [[dropout]]s, [[Chris-chan]], and [[stoner|stoned]] college kids who chant quotes from the show like mantras. Some of them will excuse the fact that the show is 80 percent fart jokes by prattling on about post-modernism. It was once thought that any fan of ''Family Guy'' was probably also a [[fantard]] of [[Dane Cook]], another unfunny retard. Like [[Cock|Cook]] [[Fag|fans]], ''Family Guy'' fans tend to be loud, obnoxious, and pretentious due to them emulating the material. This myth was busted in a recent episode, where it {{ytlink|wMpsYnHl1nQ|makes fun of Dane Cook and his followers.}}

Ironically, you are guaranteed to get laid by fat chicks who never get laid, if you act like you're a ''Family Guy'' fan on any college campus. Being (or even pretending to be) a fan will negate any [[antisocial]] traits you may exhibit from being an [[anime]] fan.

If one were to insult ''Family Guy'' to a fan, said fan would likely rant on how much you [[Irony|"have no sense of humor"]] and will continue on for hours about how much [[Blowjob|"you suck"]], while telling you that [[DO NOT WANT|"you should like ''Family Guy'' because it is your type of humor."]] However, anyone that actually ''has'' a sense of humor doesn't find anything funny in such utter [[faggotry]]. People who like ''Family Guy'' should do the world a favor and become [[an hero]].

===''American Dad!''===
[[File:Klaus-eatout-Francine.jpg|thumb|Same shit, different show]]
In 2005, When ''Family Guy'' was canceled for [[Over 9000|the 9,001]]st time, [[libtard]] creator [[Seth_MacFarlane|Seth MacFaggot]] decided to recast the show and call it ''American Dad!''. The reincarnation is exactly the same show, only Peter is replaced by Joe who HAS HIS FUCKING LEGS AND CAN WALK and is also a CIA agent, Lois has blonde hair and is even moar of a bitch, Chris is a girl, Meg is a boy (and is even more of a faggot), and instead of an evil baby and a talking dog there's an [[German|evil]] talking fish and a [[faggot]] alien. The talking faggot fish is also an unfunny Meg rip-off. The faggot alien character even "punted" him in that Hurricane episode. The faggot alien and both ''Family Guy'' and ''American Dad!'' are an expression of [[faggot|Seth MacFarlane]] penchant for weird gender bending [[fetishes]]. The alien's obsession for wigs and make-up are an expression of Seth's [[ghey]] hair and make-up fetishes.

<del>''American Dad!'' is one tiny iota [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|better]] than ''Family Guy'' because it lacks [[WHEN_I_WAS|remember when...]] flashback jokes.</del>

Disregard that previous statement. Unlike the "chicken man" in ''Family Guy'' who is an actually bipedal and sentient chicken, it turns out there is a full-on [[fursuit]]-wearing [[furfag]] in ''American Dad!'', Stan's boss (revealed in "The Missing Kink"). It even has a gay-ass song about fetishes, and pulls the stereotypical bullshit trying to claim that furries are normal and that it shouldn't be discriminated against... because you definitely see piles of inhuman crime-against-nature porn flooding the Internet in incomprehensibly huge amounts every day that ''isn't'' furry, right MacFailin? So either MacFailin is a furry, or a furry sympathizer (as are all Adult Swim show producers and viewers). Fuck it, he's both. This particular furry is a legitimate person (unlike every other previous furry hes shown), albeit a drug-addict, sex-addict, and mentally unstable. He's ultimately an [[You|old, lonely social disease carrier]], and is also shown to wear a fursuit and take part in [[Furpile|furpiles]], AKA [[Fail|a big disgusting pile of sweaty men in jizz-stained animal costumes, sometimes pretending to be women, if not outright flaming homosexuals]].

It should be noted that the episode in question isn't the first time Stan's co-workers have been depicted as furries.

===''The Cleveland Show''===
[[File:Tcs bad guy.jpg|thumb|Even the most rabid ''Family Guy'' fanboy has a tough time defending this steaming pile of shit]]
<s>But wait, there's [[moar|MORE]]! [[Last Thursday|Back in 2009]], ''[[King of the Hill]]'' was replaced with another ''Family Guy'' [[shit|spinoff]] starring the show's token nigra character, Cleveland!</s> DISREGARD THAT! As of May 19th, 2013, ''The Cleveland Show'' ended its fourth season and was not renewed for a fifth. [[Conspiracy Theory|The show had 88 episodes in total (Which just so happens to be the exact number of episodes needed these days for a show to be eligible for syndication) meaning that FOX knew it was shit and destined to fail from the start and just kept renewing it to keep Seth happy and try and make there money back through syndication deals (Seriously, they renewed it for a second season before the pilot even aired for Christ's sake).]]

It was obvious that even [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|Seth didn't give a shit about ''The Cleveland Show]]'' when he stopped voicing the characters of Tim the Bear and [[Fisting|Dr. Fist]] sometime around its third season. Not to mention the amount of cancellation jokes throughout the whole series should tell you that just about everyone involved knew it was doomed from the start.

To make matters more lulzworthy as to how much of a fucking failure this show was, ratings for the third season were so bad that FOX couldn't afford to give it a proper DVD release, leaving it to [[Amazon]] to take a bullet for them and produce a bare bones set with no special features on a shitty DVD-R format.

It is expected that Cleveland and the rest of his AIDS-infested [[Tubgirl|Stoolbend]] buddies will be moving to Quahog in the twelfth season of ''Family Guy'' in an episode titled {{fandomlink|familyguy|He's_Bla-ack!|"He's Bla-ack!"}} (Feel free to throw some BS info onto that page as Buckimion will throw a lulzy shit-fit at you for tampering with his precious wiki). One can only hope that injecting Seth's most popular show with the cast of his least popular show will kill ''Family Guy'' once and for all.

[[You|Just who is MacFarlane blowing to keep getting these shows green-lit]]?

===Hurricane crossover===
[[File:SethShowHurricane.jpg|thumb|In all fairness, they weren't lying when they said it was going to blow.]]
In 2011 there was this sorry ass excuse for a crossover event involving all three of Seth's shows in which a hurricane sweeps through the towns of each show, bringing the main casts together. This of course could barely be considered a crossover due to the fact that in addition to the event taking place over three episodes (One of each show) as opposed to some sort of TV movie, the characters don't meet each other until the very end for about thirty seconds. The episodes were initially postponed due to a [https://collider.com/fox-cancels-crossover-family-guy-the-cleveland-show-american-dad/ series of tornadoes that killed over 300 people]. This was far funnier than any Seth show could ever hope to be.

===''Family Guy Video Game!''===
The ''Family Guy'' fanbase cried, whined and went into their hugboxes until their demands of a ''Family Guy'' video game were met. Suddenly, one day.. It came to life. Featuring [[Old meme|lame one liners from old episodes you've seen a million times]], [[Metal Gear Solid|broken stealth missions]], [[Super Smash Bros.|nonsensical brawling]] stages, and [[Sonic|platform levels with shitty cameras]]. Let's not forget all your [[fags|favorite characters]]! Deemed unworthy of even a landfill. The game was taken down due to the [[Epic Fail|players being too retarded to figure out how to even play the game]].

Another game called ''Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse'' also came out, and it sucked like the first game, but even moar!

There was also an online MMO game that was fun until you realized that is was full of glitches and had you play pointless mini-games which involved beating the crap out of cripples, pigs, homeless people, and cheerleaders and collecting cats and fingers over and over again! Despite the success and praise by the fanbase, Fox made the same decision they made to ''Firefly''. '''{{archive|aC4d2}}'''

===Jewtube===
[[Sell Out|Seth MacFarlane]] was [[cock block|infuriated]] when he realized that most of ''Family Guy's'' [[retards|fan base]] was just watching all of his shows on YouTube and decided to call [[bullshit]] and posted all of his videos on [[hell|Hulu.com]] [[hilarious|which will not allow anybody who isn't an American to watch any of their videos]]

Very few videos remain on YouTube except [[shit no one cares about| ones supporting Hulu.com showing clips of the baby acting like a twelve year old Pete Burns]]. Of the few remaining videos these [[awesome|fake]] videos remain. Some claim that they are actually better than Seth MacFarlane's product, and others claim that this was all some gay creation by a [[13-year-old boy]] (coincidence?).

Upon realizing the potential of this "YouTube". Seth's Jew kicked in, as he decided to bring his fail to YouTube under the name "Sethcomedy", in an attempt to bring in even more money to himself with his so called [[not funny|"sense of humor"]]. On this channel, he makes comedy skits, in which [[Chris Chan|some argue]] are hilarious. Of course, anyone with a fucking brain knows that these comedy skits are as [[unfunny]] as ''Family Guy'' and ''American Dad!'' combined. Don't believe anything could fail that much? Watch for yourself.

===''Star Wars'' spin-off===
While ''Star Wars'' is already a piece of overrated shit, Seth, being a ''Star Wars'' fantard, decided to squeeze out Jew golds from ''Star Wars'' fanboys. This [[retard|special]] episode follows the exact plot of ''Star Wars'', but with more ''Family Guy'' jokes, [[Shit no one cares about|references from old movies]], and absolutely waste of fucking time.

==Videos==
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|starvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>w5Cy-dwF2Po</youtube>
;1
|<youtube>-UMOBJouoWY</youtube>
;2
|<youtube>K06EKVhLsUw</youtube>
;3
|<youtube>pnTpKo60SO4</youtube>
;4
|<youtube>IRemy8rn8fQ</youtube>
;5}}
|border=black|background=white}}
|}}

==Gallery==
{{cg||familyguygallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Family_Guy_-_Vomit.gif|The result of watching ''Family Guy''. Even the cast isn't safe from its effects.
Image:Familyguy.gif|''Family Guy'''s pathetic attempt to be edgy.
Image:Boob monster.gif|And another one.
Image:Peter Griffin suicide.gif|Peter does us all [[suicide|a favor]].
Image:Jaw.jpg|A young Glen Quagmire.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Reallifequagmire.png|An older Glen Quagmire IRL.
Image:Brianstewie.jpg|Actual scene from the show. Rumors have it Seth MacFarlane is a [[sick fuck|pedophile]] that is also into [[bestiality]].
Image:Pedos.jpg|Stewie is a sex symbol among [[12 year old girls|12 year olds]], which is understandable as that is the target demographic of the show.
Image:Familybond.jpg|The perfect gift for your kids!
Image:Family guy lois griffin.jpg|Lois [[IRL]].
Image:Stewie yiffing.jpg|Stewie is a furfag.
File:Petergriffinjew.png
Image:PeterGriffinballchin.png|His chin looks like balls.
Image:PeterGriffin.jpg|He's watching [[you]] [[masturbation|masturbate]].
Image:Family_fortress_2.jpg|''Family Guy'', like furries, ruins everything.
Image:Do Not Push Post.jpg
File:Brian Bitches dont know.jpg
File:Stan Smith hates black people.jpg
File:FGSkip.jpg
File:Plagiarismo.jpg
File:Internet Has Spoken.jpg
File:Rain0ke.jpg
File:Upsidedownface.gif
File:Stan-Laptop.jpg
File:I CAME.JPG
File:Smokeajwithjesus.jpg
File:Copia de 2583859362 085d70a434.jpg
File:Terror alert orange.jpg
File:Standance.gif
File:No noobs pic.jpg
File:Stan and Francine.jpg
File:Stan with lube.png
File:Bloody Francine.png
File:Steve-assrape-Roger.jpg
File:Ededcerfc.jpg
File:Familyguypuke.png
File:SMOKE.jpg
File:Bird is the word dance.gif
File:Steve Smith-furry.png
File:Bob Ross.png
File:124754221713.gif
File:Peter came.GIF
File:Fgismoreatheist.png|This [[britfag]] [[srsly|actually]] likes ''Family Guy'' more than ''[[South Park]]'' because it's more "[[atheist]]".
File:BuzzKillington.jpg
File:Familyguywtf.jpg
File:Why.gif
File:Plagiarismo de plagiarismo.jpg
File:Three-brian-moon.jpg
File:Stan is a fag.jpg
File:Stan Smith Child abduction.jpg
File:American dad tied up.jpg
File:Chuckfamilyguy.jpg
File:Gux.jpg| Peeetaaah!
File:Sexyparty.gif
File:PETER GRIF-CHAN.JPG
File:Buzz Killington.jpg
File:BitchesDon'tKnowAboutTheBird.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

{{cg|[[Rule 34]]|34gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:sample_9b197d91bd488ff84c1e8cc4687deda3.jpg
Image:Lois-Blowjob.jpg|During the show's cancellation, Lois did porn to pay for her coke habit.
Image:Anime-Lois.jpg|"Like that time we were animated by weeaboos?"
Image:Family guy-34-Storyboards.jpg|Never before seen storyboards.
Image:Brain-Lois-drunk-fucking.jpg
Image:Anime-Meg.jpg|[[Chris-Chan]] has recycled gravy over this picture.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Lois-Stewie-tenticle-rape.jpg
Image:Animal Cruelty.jpg|A Pulitzer Award winning photograph that led to widespread reform in the human-dog sex industry.
Image:AD-FG-Nigger.jpg|Scene from the ''Family Guy'' rap video.
Image:Brian Lois fucking.jpg|Rock on!
Image:Lois beastiallity.jpg|...leading Lois to challenge her preconceived notions on everything.
Image:Lois spitter.jpg|Brian later found out she wasn't.
Image:Lois climax.jpg|What's that hose doing there?
Image:Brian's load.jpg|...and now she knows.
Image:Lois-Brian-peepshow.jpg
Image:Lois-naked.jpg
Image:Lois-dildo.jpg
Image:Lois-real-woman.gif
Image:Familyguyhentai81.jpg|"Like that time I fucked the dog!"
Image:LoisGriffinCatTits.png
Image:Lois-dominatrix.jpg
Image:Um . . ..gif|One of the few [[crossover]] pictures not involving ''The [[Simpsons]]''.
Image:Familyguy298.png
Image:Cleveland-Lois-Loretta-threesome.jpg|Niggers raping white women.
Image:Familyguy 10.jpg|[[BDSM|"YOU LIKE EATING RED CARPET TOUGH GUY!? SAY YOU LIKE EATING RED CARPET!"]]
Image:Peter-and-meg.jpg|Father and daughter bonding.
Image:Lois-Peter-Slave.jpg
Image:Peter-Lois-public-display.jpg
Image:Peter-munching-Lois.jpg
Image:Quagmire-Lois-Cleveland-threesome.jpg| Lois is a whore.
Image:Familyguy-Chocolaterain.GIF|You are a waste of life, if you fap to this.
File:What A-Log Faps To.jpg
File:Cuff Me.JPG
File:Steve-Hayley-anal.jpg
File:Klaus-blowing-Steve.jpg
File:Roger-Hayley-Steve-threesome.jpg
File:American dad.jpg
File:Roger cuntlick.jpg
File:Roger-nails-Hayley.jpg
File:WhosYourAmericanDaddy.jpg
</gallery>
|}}




==See also==
*[[AmericanDad86]]
*[[Family Guy Funny Moments]] - The epitome of unfunny.
*[[Keith Olbermann]] - [[buttsecks|Close friend]] of MacFarlane and fellow [[leftard]].
*[[Onision]]
*[[Seth MacFarlane]].
*[[Shit]]
*''[[Fairly Oddparents|The Fairly OddParents]]''
*''[[Rick and Morty]]''
*''[[The Simpsons]] - The show Seth ripped off for Family Guy.
*[[Unfunny]]
*[[Yomama]] - Seth's pathetic YT channel where they are trying desperately to bring back '90s snaps.

==External links==
*{{ytlink|2COtQmWGShw|It was bound to happen.}}
*{{ytlink|01s5T070s6o|''Family Guy's'' take on Dane Cook}}

{{clear}}
{{Cartoons}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 14 & July 15, [[2024]]|[[Regular Show]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Global Warming]]}}

Global Warming

2024-08-15T22:34:23Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{blink|black|7|BURN MOAR FOSSIL FUELS. OCCUPY WALL STREET WITH CANOES.}}
[[Image:warming.jpg|thumb|left|[[God]] approves.]]
[[Image:Trump-global-warming-chinese-hoax.png|thumb|right|[[The Donald|The Don]] telling the truth, as always.]]
[[Image:MicrosoftWeatherPro.jpg|thumb|No wonder everyone's complaining about the weather, look who's controlling it.]]

'''[[Environmentalism|Global warming]]''' or '''global cooling''' or '''climate change''' is an ongoing terraforming process by [[Jews|lizardpeople]] to make the Earth more inhabitable for their [[women|cold-blooded brethren]]. The [[China|Chinese]] are also taking advantage of this hoax, in order to achieve economic supremacy over [[America|Murica]] and out-breed the white race.

With the advent of the [[China|Industrial Revolution]], wood-burning advanced to fossil fuel burning: coal-burning, oil-burning and gas-burning, mainly to charge cellphones or make things "go" for a species oblivious of large-scale [[Time Cube|quantum teleportation]]. The geo-engineering process involves taking ancient forests that used solar power to sequester carbon for millions of years, and releasing the carbon into the atmosphere to warm this icy class M planet for further colonization. Since nearly [[69]]% of megacities on Earth are coastal, the reptiloid plan involves melting Antarctica in order to rise the sea level by 300 feet, thereby swamping [[New York|major]] [[Tokyo|global]] cities which humans foolishly built near coastlines due to the laughable derelict technology of wind-powered sea-faring ships. After relying on the Earth's oceans and [[tsunami|weather]] [[hurricane|patterns]] to destroy most the planets [[poor|most aggressive specimens]], the surviving humans can then easily be herded into caged enclosures and the transition to human factory farming can begin on land. Due to the increase in ocean area, human factory farms can also be located in water, like the ancient human sea farms that led to the breeding of [[dolphin|cetaceans]].

[[Some argue]] global warming is a conspiracy by global politicians to charge you more money for going to work by creating a 'carbon tax' - and by lazy scientists who prefer a good old whinge instead of doing some actual work like developing fusion power - because what [[Al Gore]] and the [[arborphilia|tree-shagger brigade]] don't seem to understand is that most people would be happy to have a free power source for their cars.

In the history of our planet, there were [[at least 100|at least 6 or 7]] ICE AGES [[over 9000|over the course of Earth's history]], countless volcanos, and walking McDonald's ingredients long before the combustion engine - and now <del>scientists</del> politicians all agree with each other for their ass-raping pleasure that everybody has to start [[Fire|burning]] shit, and we'll have enough carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to really change things. In fact, if another Ice Age does occur, then warming the earth with emissions will help reduce the catastrophic temperature drop. The emissions caused by Gore's big, fat, mouth and ass should be more than enough.

Another pointer to the fact that global warming is all bullshit is the large number of offshore windfarms being erected by the same retards who are <del>telling us</del> forcing it down our throats, that the sea is going to get a fuck load deeper in the next couple of decades - which goes to show how much faith they have in wind energy to begin with.

[[Last Thursday]] Al Gore brought up [[Godwin's Law|Godwin's law]] and therefore automatically lost the argument by comparing [[Godwin|Global Warming to Nazis]]. [http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article6658672.ece Seriously.]

The [[Nothing|supposed effects]] of global warming will not affect [[you]] in any way, so [[rape|pollute]] as much as possible to [[Lulz|troll future generations.]]

As of 2024, the people of Denmark went from being Vikings to paying taxes on cow farts to the [[jews]], and the people of Britan went from being conquerers to paying "carbon tax" on the cars that they drive, even though the monarchy and politicians in Britan fly private jets to get around. We wish with all our hearts that we were joking.

==Reversing Global Warming==
* Scientists just found out the way to prevent the global warming - depopulate the world of [[niggers]], because they are black and absorb light. [[White People]] reflect light. Reflected sunlight does not contribute to the greenhouse effect, unlike the heat energy emitted by dark surfaces heated by the sun. Reflected light means lower temperature means no global warming! Teh epic [[win]] for all.

[[File:Factory belching polution.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Maybe those of us that live in the North want Global Warming to happen</center>]]

* Stop recycling paper or cardboard. Every time you recycle these materials, you prevent a new tree from being planted on a tree farm, in place of the one that was cut down. Growing trees, making them into stuff, and then burying that stuff in landfills where it will never, ever degrade is a highly effective and time-proven method for '''geological sequestration'''. That's the liberal scientist term for removing carbon dioxide from the air, and burying it like a dog. Plus, the very thought of doing this seriously pisses off treehugging hippies, which is even cooler than ending global warming!

__TOC__

==Predicted Effects==

[[Image:Piracygood.jpg|thumb|It's what Jesus would do.]]

Predicted effects of global warming include the following:

* Earth's average global surface temperature will increase by 1-6 degrees Celsius. OH NOES!!1
* Sales of lawn furniture will increase by 300%.
* [[Hippies|Hippie]] [[Arborphilia|tree-hugging]] faggots will bitch about how [[Gaia]] is crying, meaning that things will never get so bad to the point where they stop bitching and get a job.
* The world's poor will take it [[in the ass]] (figuratively).
* All mixed drinks will come with little paper umbrellas, to keep them from evaporating in the hot sun.
* The world's poor will take it [[in the ass]] (literally).
* [[Over 9,000]] [[Katrina|Katrinas]] will hit [[New Orleans]], [[And nothing of value was lost|which everyone knows is full of niggers and rednecks]].
* [[Furries]] will begin to die off from heat stroke while [[yiff]]ing in their [[fursuit]]s.
* The [[Jewnited States of Americunts|United States]] will go to war in the Middle East (again), but this time for water.
* [[Al Gore]] will eat your children.
* Air conditioner sales will skyrocket. (This proves that the [[Jews|Jews]] are a major figure in Global Warming, since most of them are known to own shops that supply air conditioners)
* Two generations down, God will send Noah down from Heaven again in an Ark to save no one and nothing except the world's porn collection, a few hot sluts, and possibly a nigger or two to work in Heaven's farms since [[White People|the white man]] is getting lazy. Noah will deny entry to anyone or anything else, and [[Some Argue|it is speculated]] that the side of the Ark will have [[I DID IT FOR THE LULZ]] written on the side of it in [[Gay.pl|rainbow-colored figlets]].
* [[LOLWUT|Since spiders grow slightly larger when the temperature is warmer, the world will be dominated by giant, bullet-proof spiders. Not lying.]]
* BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

==Planet Earth is alive==

[[Image:Global_Warming.jpg|thumb|YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!]]

[[Agent Smith|Some people]] think that Earth is like a giant living creature, and humans are [[herpes|viruses]]. So what happens when we have viruses? We raise the temperature to kill off the virus, then everybody is [[^_^|happy]]. There are slight [[oh noes|problem]]s with this theory.

a) The [[hippy|hippies]] are glad that earth will fix itself except they will all be doomed.
b) We can [[bomb|nuke]] the shit out of Gaia.

=== The Great Lakes States And Global Warming ===

Fuck you, we want it.

Every January, people from cities like [[Cleveland]] and Buffalo all go outside at Midnight on New Years Day to start breaking open cans of CFCs to help speed up the global warming process because we are sick and tired of freezing our asses off.

== Why Global Warming is Bullshit (contains science content and lulz) ==

[[Image:Global_warming_demotivator.jpg|thumb|According to [[leftard]]s, [[lie|polar bears are incapable of swimming]]; therefore [[bullshit|it's IMPOSSIBLE that one would climb upon an ice floe that was ALREADY far from land.]]]]
# Carbon Dioxide is a '''PRODUCT''' of temperature change, not a cause.
# Greenhouse gasses form together at the troposphere, in theory, the rate of warming should be highest at this point, however, this is not the case.
# The Berlin Wall came down and the commies had to run and find a new guise.
# There is NO direct evidence linking Global Warming to anthropogenic greenhouse gasses.
# Every time a person buys a Hybrid, [[God]] cries.
# Al Gore will eat your children regardless.
# Pretty much anyone who does scientific research to question global warming gets blacklisted, unfunded, and/or attacked by green groups. So its not really science. Science functions from always trying to prove AND disprove a theory.
# The rise in temperature and carbon dioxide is due to a magical cycle [[noone]] can possibly explain.
# Global temperatures on Mars, Neptune and Europa have been observed and are also rising, [http://www.nasa.gov/centers/ames/research/2007/marswarming.html Nasa confirms], which means that the link between Global Warming and Carbon Dioxide is bullshit. [http://www.livescience.com/1349-sun-blamed-warming-earth-worlds.html Clicky] [http://seoblackhat.com/2007/03/04/global-warming-on-mars-pluto-triton-and-jupiter/ Clicky]
# The Thermal capacity (or specific heat) of CO2 (about 0.8 J/(g*K)) is lower than that of air (about 1'ish J/(g*K)), meaning that pumping CO2 into the air will bring the thermal capacity down as the percentage of CO2 rises, not up. This is why in the 70's [[hippie|hippies]] tried to tell everyone industry would cause a big freeze in the 90's, and we all know how that turned out, [[faggotry|don't we]]?[http://www.engineeringtoolbox.com/nitrogen-d_977.html Clicky] [http://www.engineeringtoolbox.com/carbon-dioxide-d_974.html Clicky]
# Jews came up with the theory of global warming - 'nuff said. They even killed Michael Crichton (creator of Jurassic Park) because he wrote a novel (State of Fear) questioning it with scientific evidence.
# The vast majority of the greenhouse effect is caused by water vapor, not carbon dioxide.
#There are more polar bears now than ever in history. SRSLY!!!

Remember to point out these indisputable facts on message boards and forums regarding global warming for maximum lulz.

'''''Carbon Dioxide: They Call it Pollution? We Call it Life!''''' This video is a sure way to get leftist panties into a super-twist.

<youtube>Wq_Bj-av3g0</youtube>

A bright side of global warming...BRING IT ON?

<youtube>2L8bRNs_bZE</youtube>

I don't think you have a pool. Enjoy your basement.

Why is there so much Global Warming/Climate Change fear mongering in the media??!!

Proof that [[Jews Did WTC|Jews did Global Warming]] using Mainstream Media:

<youtube>PMe5dOgbu40</youtube>
<youtube>R5KoYJ64vjA</youtube>

==Dramalamadingdong cha cha cha==

[[Image:Forget The Planet by RejectedDreams.jpg|thumb|[[Fuck]] the environment! Save your soul instead!]]

Global warming is a constant source of lulz and drama on the internets. The theory is that supporting the global warming theory (even if you don't know jack shit about it) will automatically add [[Over 9000|50 or 60]] points to your I.Q. and will put you in the same category as that raspy voiced wheelchair [[Stephen_Hawking|motherfucker]] who wrote that book about God fucking the Milky Way in its hole and making such an explosive cumshot that [[wat|it created the universe]].

The argument goes like this:

"Global Warming is like, so totally true because I saw [[Al Gore]] in a movie talking about it."

"Yes, but what about the [[batshit crazy|rabid, heretical]] nature of the scientific community to denounce anyone who questions the validity of some of the findings and the absolutely insane methods suggested to combat it?"

''"OMG U R LIEK A KNUCKLDRAGGER! YUR STUPIDD! U NEEDS TO BE BANNED U RACIST LOLOLOLOLOL"''

[[Bill Nye]] thinks that useless old people who deny climate change [https://archive.fo/yxGtD should die]. Who the hell would miss them, anyway?

'''For maximum lulz:'''
# Go to a [[Something Awful|message board]] where the easily butthurt majority consider themselves misunderstood intellectuals (i.e. geeks).
# Start a new topic stating that you think Global Warming is fucking bullshit.
# Kick back with a [[piss|Milwaukee's Best]] or [[PBR]], and watch the lulz unfold before your very eyes.

==[[New Zealand]] on Alarmism in Global Warming==
[[Image:Water_Heater_Blanket.jpg|thumb|If global warming is such an issue, why are these conspiracy theorists wasting time wrapping their water heaters and fridges in tin foil?]]
<youtube>2DaWZz_InZE</youtube>

== Controversy ==
[[File:GlobalWarmingTimes.png|thumb|right]]

The so-called "threat" of global warming is actually ordained by God, providing the catalyst for the next stage of human evolution. Winds will run swiftly across the plains, ever-increasing, and Tonr - the furious one, of the shining paths - shall make his glorious appearance daily across all regions of the world. And where he strikes, magnificent rains will then immediately pour down to heal and rejuvenate the Earth. The weak shall tremble and be swept away by massive floods, and those disturbing the correct natural order will die horrifically at the hands of us who embrace the transformation and enhancement of this planet.

===[[Climategate]]===

In November 2009 it was discovered that [[HACKERS ON STEROIDS]] had breached the [[Dog Curtains]] of the prestigious [[bill nye|Climatic Research Unit]] in England and snatched up thousands of e-mails and other shit that revealed that [[green]]fags had been [[nice try|cherry-picking and doctoring]] intel on the causes and effects of Global Warming to make it look worse than it actually was.

When the [[hackers]] dropped the dox right before the big [[UN]] '''2009 Climate Change Conference''' in Copenhagen, giant brix were shat by everyone from [[old media]] to the [[blogosphere]] to butthurt [[glenn beck|Global Warming deniers]] to irate (and embarrassed) [[hippies|climate scientists]] in a shitstorm that became known as [[Climategate]].

Scientists called bullshit but instead of denying the leaked info was tampered with by them, they [[911|BAAAWWWD]] about "[[YHBT|the illegal taking of data]]" rather than address the data diddling charges. [[The Man]] responded by launching a criminal investigation of the server hax and subsequent personal threats made against the scientists mentioned in the e-mails. Meanwhile [[Faux News]] and co, were happy as pigs in shit because this all -naturally- meant that [[Al Gore]] was wrong and should return his Nobel Prize. Ironic, since [http://www.dailytech.com/Blogger+finds+Y2K+bug+in+NASA+Climate+Data/article8383.htm| the actual reason] he is wrong goes uncommented on by all but a few tech geeks showing off [[e-peen]] and religious nuts looking for any excuse to keep shitting on the planet they believe was given to them by [[God|Space Alpha Monkey]].

== Additional Trolling Advice ==

There are other ways to troll global warming supporters. Playing the retard troll isn't always the best option. A good way to get maximum lulz here is to pose as a legitimate poster; make posts that seem legitimate, but are actually to incite drama. Global warming supporters are usually narcissistic cuntcakes thinking that they're better than [[Raptor Jesus]] because they're [http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2010/mar/15/green-consumers-more-likely-steal| saving the world.] Play on this ask them about their own electricity use and flame them for polluting the world. For even more lulz get contradictory evidence to global warming (www.icecap.us, www.friendsofscience.org) and a flame fest will ensue.

Another great way to troll is inform them that the total output of CO2 by the entire human population is only 3.5% of the yearly emission of CO2 (mostly Volcanoes and the 2.5 billion cows and sheep). Then raep them.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Globalwarming185858555.jpg
File:Globalwarming1318282.gif
File:Church_of_climatology.jpg
File:Globalwarming23232222.jpg
File:Al-gore-climate-change-cartoon.jpg
File:Globalwarming131231.jpg
File:Fuckinggayfurry666.jpg|Despite what resource-exhausing loudmouths they are, furries still get on the craze.
File:Global_Warming_-_Is_Awesome.jpg|But maybe global warming is a *GOOD* thing.
File:Neptune temps.JPG|Lol, we're warming Neptune too!
File:POTN You may Know me.jpg|End the glacial menace. Contribute to Global warming today!
File:Piratewarming1.png
File:Piratewarming2.png
File:Piratewarming3.jpg
File:Piratewarming4.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Related links==
* [http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/warmlist.htm A complete list of things hippies believe is caused by global warming] Over 9,000 Lulz inside.
* [http://www.stopglobalwarming.org/default.asp Join the virtual march] and make a virtual difference today!
* [http://worldjumpday.org/ World Jump Day] harnesses the power of human jumping to change things for the better.
* [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=288952680655100870 watch this] 75 minutes of epic lulz!
* [http://churchofglobalwarming.com/ The Church of Global Warming]! 'nuff said.
* [http://cei.org/pdf/5539.pdf Why ''An Inconvenient Truth'' is complete and utter horse crap. shit will blow yer mind.]
* [http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/opinion/climate-facts-to-warm-to/story-e6frg7ko-1111115855185 An Inconvenient Omission: The globe hasn't gotten any warmer in the past 10 years.]

==See Also==
*[[1010]]
*[[Al Gore]]
*[[Fuck for Forest]]
*[[Liberal]]
*[[Bernie Sanders]]
*[[Mo Brooks]]

{{science}}

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

{{timeline|Featured article January 20 & 21, [[2016]]|[[Sirtom93]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Cotton Ceiling]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 16 & July 17, [[2024]]|[[Family Guy]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Destiny]]}}

Steven Bonnell II

2024-08-15T22:34:06Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{Achtung|{{twitch|destiny|BANNED FROM TWITCH}}}}

{{Achtung|BANNED FROM KICK}}

{{pedo}}
{{quote|And basically [my friend] said he really wanted to kill himself and I said "I mean if you want to yeah" and he really killed himself lol| Destiny, expert in morality}}
[[File:StevenBonnellDestiny.gif|thumb|Destiny in a nutshell.]]
[[File:DestinyTheSperg.gif|thumb|[[Asperger's Syndrome|The absolute state of Destiny.]]]]
[[File:StevenBonnellDestiny2.png|thumb|At least he's honest.]]
[[File:Midget_and_nigger.png|thumb|Don't worry Steve Mommy's got you.]]
'''Destiny''' {{atheist}} (powername: '''Steven Kenneth Bonnell II''') is a [[pedophile|pedophilic]] [[Internet Tough Guy]] that loves [[incest]] but [[manlet|has a dick (and a body) that’s shorter than his baby daughter]]. He streams himself playing video games while debating with [[JonTron|retards]] on “ethics” and “morals”. It’s either political/[[Trump]] talk or [[shit no one cares about]]. Despite him always fighting [[Sargon of Akkad|retards]], he looks like the dumber one each time because he’s an awful debater. 30 minutes into the stream, he [[sperg|spergs]] at every different opinion from his without evidence or a compelling argument. Don’t point this out though because he’ll [[DMCA]] you like a pussy.

==[[N00dz]] leaked==
On the 25 August 2012 a thread was released on [[Reddit]] detailing a falling out between Destiny and his ex-girlfriend after she found out he cheated on her, released her nudes and called her the {{archive|ssxNx#41%| "Real life reincarnation of Shrek"}} because of her [[butterface]]. Of course she did not take this well and hacked his [[The Google|Gmail]] account releasing his nudes to everyone he knew. It's fine though because [[fallacious reasoning|"she only showed the good ones because she's so nice"]]. {{archive|vXpzT|Here's the thread for all to read}}. Destiny, of course, tried to damage control his way out of the [[shit]] he stirred justifying his decisions by saying {{archive|axXGy|"(he) only showed it to two people"}} as if that makes it in any way better. 
His fans, being the retards they are, saw Steven and came to him in his time of need wanting to help him, and what better way of helping someone with their n00dz leaked than releasing n00dz of your own! {{archive|QHDK2|(No srsly,}} [https://web-beta.archive.org/web/20120828054426/http://imgur.com/PNs8Q one user even posted his disgusting bleeding dick on imgur)].

==Pedophile?==
In the leaked group logs above, there is also evidence to show that Steven is also an ephebophile as he appears to have taken nude pictures of a [[16 year old girl|15 year old girl]] and his friends, instead of wondering why they were friends with somebody that said {{archive|ssxNx#50%|He'd wilfully get arrested for a random 15 year old}}, then preceded to [[Fukken saved|ask for the pictures themselves]] and comfort him by saying {{archive|ssxNx#51%|"who tf cares it's not like you're 40 years old"}} and the only reason he shouldn't fuck her is because {{archive|ssxNx#53%|"(young people) are usually so inexperienced"}} suggesting that his freinds are also as much of a [[sick fuck]] as he is.

He's also argued that child porn can be moral because it can stop will stop pedophiles from abusing children. [https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=641_1512179884 Live Leaks Video]

Near the end of [[2017]], Destiny and his circle-jerk were caught grooming a [[12 year old girl]] on [[IRC]]. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/2wkjx9/weow_not_only_do_you_guys_constantly_try_to_bait/] [https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/6i4nun/dear_destiny_please_ban_ubombjin_or_openly_allow/]
[https://twitter.com/nickmon1112/status/947226326838235136]

==[[Incest]] is a-OK (and [[bestiality]])==
In a sad attempt to show off his debating prowess to his circlejerking viewers Destiny has resorted to taboo topics such as [[bestiality]] and [[incest]]. For incest his argument was "if birth control is used what's really wrong with incest?" and for bestiality "if the animal isn't hurt, what's wrong with it?". He has repeated many times throughout the argument that this is not his stance on incest or bestiality and that he's playing devil's advocate (re: obligate contrarian attentionwhoring faggot) but that still leaves some room to question if this is what he truly believes or not. Either way Destiny making such arguments further solidifies the hypothesis that he completely lacks morals.
{|style="margin: auto;"
|{{videoframe|Incest|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>HMgsQSwkqO4</youtube>'''Full stream'''
|<youtube>v0uv_VEfIv0</youtube>'''Autism highlight'''}}
|}

==Drama with JonTron==
[[file:Bandicam_2017-11-16_07-15-42-707.jpg|thumb|eight|Yes, he did really say this. http://archive.is/KWRJZ]]
In March 2017, Destiny got into an [[internet sissy fight]] with popular [[YouTube]]r and [[nazi]] [[JonTron]], which sparked massive [[lulz]], even resulting in JonTron getting [[banhammer]]ed by the development team of [[Yooka-Laylee]].
{|style="margin: auto;"
|{{videoframe|Jontron|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>6RQA9GZprqM</youtube>'''The debate'''
|<youtube>6vLoV8igbds</youtube>'''The aftermath (with [[Gay|Sky Williams]])'''}}
|}

==The Racist Against Racism==
[[File:cmonBruh.mp4|thumb|right|[[Typical]] Destiny stream]]
When [[Pewdiepie]] said [[nigger]] during a [[YouTube]] livestream, Destiny went on a bitch fit about it on [[Twitter]], only to be outed for being a hypocritical [[manlet]] who has said [[nigger]] in the past. To make matters worse for himself, he went on to call a black twitter user an [[Uncle Tom]] for mentioning this and blocked someone for providing evidence when Destiny said he'd pay anyone $10,000 to show a single incident of him saying nigger.
<gallery>
File:Destiny the racist 1.jpeg|lol.
File:Destiny the racist 2.jpg|Why don't these [[Uncle Tom]]s get that I'm against racists?
</gallery>

==DMCA takedowns==
[[file:DestinyDMCABrittanyVenti.jpg|thumb|200px]]
Despite being a "[[centrist]]" Destiny is 100% [[censorship|anti-freedom of speech]]. If you dare upload any clip of his crappy live stream that is negative in nature to [[JewTube]] or [[Twatter]] he will [[DMCA]] it and [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|take it down]].
{|style= "margin: auto;"
|<youtube>q6jY6hYgwqY</youtube>
|}

==Telling people to kill themselves==
[[File:Destiny_is_a_fucking_idiot.jpeg|thumb|At least he's self aware.]]
Even though he claims to have [[Gorilla Warfare|graduated at the top of his class in morality and ethics, with over 300 confirmed PhDs]], he has on many occasions has told different people, <s>some his friends</s>(just kiddding, he has none), to kill themselves.
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<youtube>2S9d4QI380c</youtube>
|}

==Trump assassination attempt==
[[File:Destinytrump.mp4|thumb]]

==See also==
*[[Vaush]] - another leftard streamer who is somehow worse than Steven.
*[[JonTron]]
*[[Yooka-Laylee]]
*[[Ice Poseidon]]
*[[Brittany Venti]]
*[[Cuck]]
*[[Faggot]]
*[[Libtard]]

==External links==
*[http://www.destiny.gg/ His website]
*<s>{{twitch|destiny|His Twitch account}}</s> '''BALEETED!!!''' [[Keffals|Blame this faggot]].
*{{yt|u|destiny|His YouTube account}}
*{{twitter|OmniDestiny|His Twitter}}
*{{reddituser|NeoDestiny|His Reddit account}}
*{{reddit|Destiny| His SubReddit}}
*{{facebook|Steven.Bonnell.II| His Facebook}}
*{{archive|zEMOD|A fan contacting Doctor Phil for Destiny's mental instability}}
*{{archive|Ne9qK|Info on the leakage of n00dz}}
*[https://twitter.com/nickmon1112/status/947226326838235136 Confirming the existence of jerking to jail-bait]
{{youtubeseries}}
{{Maddox}}
{{pedoseries}}
{{Faggotry}}
[[Category:People]]

{{timeline|Featured article July 18 & July 19, [[2024]]|[[Global Warming]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Thomas Matthew Crooks]]}}

Thomas Matthew Crooks

2024-08-15T22:33:49Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{conspiracy}}
{{achtung|THE TIN FOIL HATS ARE SAYING THAT CROOKS IS PART OF A REPUBLICAN CONSPIRACY TO GET TRUMP RE-ELECTED}}
{{quote|July 13 will be my premiere, watch as it unfolds|Tommy, getting canned after one episode}}

{{ib|[[File:ThomasMatthewCrooks.png|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Thomas Matthew Crooks'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|September 20, 2003}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|July 13, 2024 (aged 20)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 1, injured 3}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No, [[Fail|killed by Secret Service]]}}
{{Ibend}}

[[File:Thomas Matthew Crooks Big Forhead.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>Admit it girls, you would ride his tater tot.</center>]]

Inept and a complete [[Retard|fuck-up as an assassin]], the [[Pennsylvania|Appalachian love child]] '''Thomas Matthew Crooks''' (a.k.a. '''[[JFK|Ree Tardy Oswald]]''') obviously played one too many games of [https://www.ubisoft.com/en-us/game/ghost-recon/breakpoint Ghost Recon Breakpoint] rather than going to shoot at the range and learning to factor in conditions such as wind, or just [[fuck]]ing learning to shoot, because he completely missed [[The Donald|his target]] who was a little more than 120 meters from him. (For the [[Americans]] and [[Asperger|aspie retards]] reading this - who haven't had any experiences further than their own front lawn because they're not allowed to cross the street - that's a little more than a [[Handegg|football]] field and is approximately equivalent to hitting a paper plate at the opposite end of a football field.)

Now before you go running to the [[FBI]] to try and get us [[Party Van]]ned, WE DO NOT CONDONE THIS! [[Lulz|What's tickling our funny bone]] is that Thomas Matthew Crooks is what happens when that quiet, [[nerd]]y, and needy kid who walks through [[School|high school]] invisible and can't even get the attention of a [[bully]], grows up to live in his parents' [[basement]] and is constantly reminded by [[Your Mom|mommy]] and [[Your Dad|daddy]] that he is a [[You|complete failure]] of a man. While his parents compare his life to what they had achieved by his age, he just wakes up one day and says [[Fuck|"Fuck it!"]] and gives up on life. Having accomplished nothing of importance, he decides to go down having done [[Assassination|one monumental event that gets him noticed]].

== The Shooting ==

<center>[[File:TrumpAssassinationAttempt.mp4|600px]]</center>

[[File:Trump shooting secret service.jpg|right|250px]]

[[File:CoreyComperatore.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>The only rally attendee who was pwned.</center>]]

For some reason, [[Fag|Thomas Matthew Crooks's]] father, despite being a licensed counselor in the [[Incest|incestuous]] state of [[Pennsylvania]], saw no reason what-so-ever to question buying his [[Masturbation|chronically masturbating]], hands rubbing, and talking to himself son a wonderful, [[USA|American]] made [[Assault Rifle|AR-15]] rifle with the excuse that it'd be used at the Clairton Sportsmen’s Club in greater [[Pittsburgh]], two months before the [[Trump|attempted assassination]] of our future god-emperor [[Donald Trump]].

While Trump was showing his supporters a chart, Thomas Matthew Crooks fired a shot that [[Mexico|illegally crossed into the rally]], striking former god-emperor Trump in the ear just as he turned his head. As expected, after hearing the shot, the [[Government|Secret Service]], ready to take a bullet for our former President, surrounded [[Trump]] and quickly led him from the stage to safety.

What had some officials' [[Pantyshot|panties]] in a bunch was that this assassination attempt was even allowed to happen. Both [[Republican]]s and [[Leftard|Democrats]] agree that there was some fault in security that allowed a [[Insane|crazy-ass]] shooter to get within 120 meters of the former [[President]] with a weapon and fire 8 shots.

Homeland Security Secretary [[Spic|Alejandro N. Mayorkas]] called the attempted assassination a “failure”, and in reality, every officer there will have their [[Cell Phone|smart phones]] quietly confiscated to see who was playing [[Angry Birds]] when they should have been protecting a [[President|Presidential Candidate]].

Trying to make the assassination attempt on [[Trump]] all about himself, President Joe Biden was quoted as saying, "Jill and I are grateful to the Secret Service for getting him to safety. There's no place for this kind of violence in America. We must unite as one nation to condemn it."

After the shooting, it was revealed that [https://nypost.com/2024/07/19/us-news/trump-shooter-thomas-matthew-crooks-last-online-search-was-for-porn/ Thomas' last online search was for porn], raising his shot count to 11 (EDiots are currently using a [[Ouija Board]] to figure out what he was cocking his other rifle to).

He was also discovered to have made [[Gay|searches for Ethan Crumbley]], explosive-building instructions, the date of the Democratic National Convention, and [[Depression|major depressive disorder]]. With his lack of a manifesto and extreme political views, he likely [[Centrist|didn't care which political side he hurt]] as long as he went down in history.

=== Gallery ===

{{Collapsegallery|'''American Sniper'''|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="4">
File:NOBODY SEES ME LOL.jpg|'''GET'''
File:Dead Crooks.png|'''REKT'''
File:CrooksDed1.jpg|Skill issue tbh
File:CrooksDed2.jpg|"Huh, he's white"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
crooks1.jpg|Top 10 photos taken minutes before disaster
File:Crooks2.jpg
File:Bullet physics.jpg
File:CoreyRekt.jpg|Shot the wrong guy dumbass
File:Corey's brainz.jpg|Pwnt
File:NeoTrump.jpg|What really happened
File:BulletStill.jpg|Tis but a scratch
File:De trumprally5.jpg|Overview of the map
File:De trumprally1.jpg
File:StoneToss.png
File:Trumps new look.jpg|Trump's new look
File:Ree tardy Oswald Olympic results.jpeg
File:Did I get him.png|"I shot him?"

</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}

== The Man - The Failure: Thomas Matthew Crooks ==

[[File:Thomas Crooks diploma.jpg|right|250px|thumb|Getting the [[Derp|derploma]]]]
[[File:TOMMY BTFO.gif|right|thumb|GET GOOD]]

Thomas Matthew Crooks enters our page with a [[High Score]] lower than that of [[William Atchison|one of the most utterly complete failures in life]] - a [[Nazi|white supremacist]] living a lonely, [[horny]], [[autistic]], and angry fucktard lifestyle who named himself [[User:AlGore|AlGore]] and would have aborted his pathetic attempt at a killing spree if a specific type of [[Woman|girl]] (blonde, white and blue eyed) said that she wanted to play [[Sex|bump-bump]] with him.

[[Dying alone]], [[Loser|Thomas Matthew Crooks]] could be said to have lived the same life as [[William Atchison]], as they both [[Death|died]] lying face down with a bullet hole in their heads.

People that were aware of him described him as a recluse who only came out to walk around their neighborhood wearing headphones and interacting with no one. Others said that the only time you really saw someone outside his house for an extended period of time was when the [[House|lawn]] needed mowing.

Unlike 99% of [[Zoomers]] his age, Thomas had little known social media presence, with only an inactive [[Discord]] account that was [[Delete fucking everything|BALEETED]]!!! upon discovery. Instead of arguing about politics online, he spent his time on the computer gayming, learning to code, and playing [[chess]].

Proudly graduating from Bethel Park High School in 2022, his peers described him as quiet, friendly, and a [[Nerd|good student]], unlike one of those silent, [[Lolumbine|trenchcoat]]-wearing school shooters. No one imagined he was capable of even thinking about killing the former President.

Kylie Katilius, who lived up the street from Thomas, called him a danger and a threat on the shooting range when he tried out for his [[School shooting|high school shooting team]]. She was quoted as saying, "If he was on lane seven, he was shooting all the way over on lane one. Mistakes happen, but full on shooting a different wall, he had to be doing something big wrong." The school denied Thomas ever tried out for the team.

Kylie Katilus said that the shooting coach was infuriated by Thomas' lack of [[gun]] safety, and he would never be allowed on the team until he could show a minimal amount understanding of gun safety.

Julianna Grooms tells a different story, saying that Crooks was the target of bullies who nicknamed him "The School Shooter" and found it easy to make fun of him for his [[Kittens|poor hygiene]], because like most [[SpongeBob SquarePants]] shirt-wearing [[brony]] [[Asperger's Syndrome|aspies]], he thought that showering in [[When You're Chill With Everyone|Ass Body Spray]] would hide his stench and get him the girls.

After graduating [[School|high school]], and unlike so many of the people populating our [[High Score]] list, Thomas actually tried to better himself. He spent two years getting an Associate's Degree in Engineering Science from Alleghany County Community College, unaware that if you didn't have a diploma with a name at the top such as [[OSU]], [[Penn State Scandal|Penn State]], or [[Texas|Texas A & M]], you might as well be holding [[Toilet Paper Hoarding|a piece of freshly used toilet paper]] in your hand.

Much like so many with a useless community college or online degree, Thomas was able to pass a background check and find himself a minimum wage job that had him working at low pay for Bethel Park Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center. His duties included handing out meals, cleaning up [[shit]] that the loose bowels of old people leave on the floor for him to clean up, or having to change the sheets and clothes of someone with a weak bladder that refuses a catheter because it means that they can't move around.

{{Quote|<center>Trump didn't survive the attempt on his life because of divine intervention. He survived because a virgin couldn't hit the fattest president since Taft. And again, make no mistake, I'm glad he couldn't, but Trump is alive because he's the single luckiest motherf–ker who ever lived.|Bill Maher</center>}}

{{align|center|
{{frame|<center><big>'''A star student'''</big></center> 
[[File:CrooksBullied.mp4|400px]]
[[File:CrooksBIGCOCK.mp4|400px]]
|border=black}}|}}

== Critical Acclaim ==

{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|CrooksVids|background-color: #DBD8CD;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>V-JQfgfLNAg</youtube>'''[[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|Donnie's Bizzare Adventure]]'''</center>
|<youtube>GAnvLjavON0</youtube>'''Free advertising, [[amirite?]]'''</center>
|<youtube>YL9apblSQ-s</youtube>'''[[LOLWUT|This guy's Canadian btw]]'''</center>
|[[File:Jake Paul watches the shooting.mp4|700px]] '''[[Jake Paul]] reaction video'''</center>
|[[File:Totally real footage of the trump shooting.mp4|700px]] '''A faithful reenactment'''</center>
}}|border=#000000|background=#FFFFFF}}
|}

<center><big>'''You've seen the mugshot merch, now get ready for...'''</big></center>
{{center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:ShootingMerch1.jpg
File:ShootingMerch2.jpg
File:ShootingMerch3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[File:Capitalism-aliensguy.jpg|300px|center]]

== The Famous Photograph ==

{{frame|[[File:I LIVED, BITCH.jpg|700px|center]]|margin=auto|border=#cc142b|background=#00247d}}

{{quote|I knew immediately that something was wrong in that I heard a whizzing sound, shots, and immediately felt the bullet ripping through the skin|[[Trump|Soon To be elected God Emperor Trump]]}}
 
<center><big>'''Meme Spin-offs:'''</big></center>

{{center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:TrumpWojak.png|IT'S <s>OVER</s> '''JUST GETTING STARTED!!'''
File:TrumpMLP.png
File:TrumpFallout.png
File:TrumpFalloutAgain.png
File:TrumpFalloutAgainAgain.png
File:TrumpForTheKing.png
File:TrumpHalfLife2.png
File:TrumpAnimeHaremProtagonist.jpeg
File:TrumpArkKnightsOrSmthIDK.jpg
File:TrumpFurryShit.png
File:TrumpCommies.png
File:TrumpSenatorArmstrong.png
File:TrumpPose.png
File:TrumpWtf.jpg
File:TrumpPepe.jpeg
File:TrumpWinnieThePooh.png
File:TrumpArt.jpeg
File:Abechan.jpg
</gallery>}}

This picture got so famous, it even has a {{Wikilink|Trump_raised-fist_photographs|Wikipedia}} page.

== The Conspiracy ==

Probably the most amusing and believed story that still has people building scripts about the [[USA|U.S. Government]] and [[Israel]] wanting Trump dead was created on [[4Chan]] by an [[Anonymous]] poster who claimed that his superiors refused to give him the green light to [[Kill|Take The Shot]] despite him having the potential assassin in his sights for over 3 minutes.

{{Quote|<center>My name is Jonathan Willis, I’m the officer in the famous photo of the two snipers on the roof at Trump’s rally. I came here to inform the public that I had the assassin in my sights for at least 3 minutes, but the head of the secret service refused to give the order to take out the perp. 100% the top brass prevented me from killing the assassin before he took the shots at president Trump|[https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474066576/ Original /pol/ thread]</center>}}

[[File:Trump ear shot.jpg|right|250px]]

[[File:Trump h8er n twitter.jpg|right|250px]]

The [[Tinfoil hats]] have another theory that includes brain washing and [[CIA]] funded [[MK ULTRA]] behavioral cues that existed on the [[Internets]].

They claim that the CIA programed people as early as 2016 to assassinate President Trump. Their job was to take him out during his second term and the trained behavior was reinforced with posts from [[Los Angeles|Celebrities]] like [[Tara Strong]] and [[Islam|Whoopi Goldburg]] who posted everyday that someone should save [[America]] by assassinating President Trump.

Because President Trump chose to not serve a second term in [[2020]], the [[Leftard|far left's]] plans had to be scrapped.

Seeing that Sleepy Joe wasn't doing well in the polls and was quickly losing trust with the voters because of his overtly senile actions, the far left triggered their '''''"Manchurian Candidate"''''' plan to kill Trump while he was on the Campaign Trail so he couldn't be elected in [[2024]].

This [[Conspiracy Theory]] is much like [[JFK]]'s with people claiming that the eight shots fired could be heard from different directions and more than one shooter being seen.

The [[Tinfoil hats]] claim that shooting Trump's ear was to serve as a warning for him. The [[Tinfoil hats]] claim that it was to show Trump that they can kill him no matter where he is.

=== Was Crooks the Real Shooter? ===

{{center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:MarkViolets.jpg|Within minutes of the shooting, [[4chan|reliable sources]] believed this greasy [[Italian|pastafag]] named '''Mark Violets''' to be the [[Antifa]]-aligned shooter
File:Maxwell Yearick.png|[[Some argue]] that the shooter more closely resembles a notorious anti-Trump protester by the name of '''Maxwell Yearick'''
File:It wasn't either one.png|4chan's analysis
File:NotCrooks.mp4|The spergy faggot in this video has also been purported to being Crooks, but it was later found out to just be a [[typical]] [[Arizona]] man - {{archive|rCVj4|source}}
File:Jewgazing troll.mp4|In the heat of the confusion, an [[IRL troll]] on [[X]] (formerly known as Twitter) known as '''jewgazing''' made a few lulzy troll posts pretending to be our protagonist
File:NotCrooks1.jpg|Another jewgazing photo
File:NotCrooks2.jpg|jewgazing again
File:FemboyCrooks.jpg|Possible tranny?
</gallery>}}

== Recreation of the shooting ==
<center><youtube>FsvJzfXZI18</youtube></center>

== Graded Score ==

{{GradedScore|1|[[Collateral damage|Only killed 1 Trump supporter and injured 2 others]] alongside Trump himself|10|[[Trickshotting|Shot Trump in the ear of all places]]|20|"Fuck [[mass shootings]], [[Epic|I'm gonna kill the president]]."|20|[[EPIC WIN|INTERNATIONAL NOTORIETY WITHIN MINUTES]]|20|Outsmarted the fucking [[SS|Secret Service]]|71|C-|One inch away from starting the [[WW3|Second American Civil War]]}}

{{WantedLevel|level=custom|customstars=[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]][[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]|custompic=[[File:Secret service logo.png|128px]]|customdesc=SECRET SERVICE}}

[[File:ThomasMatthewCrooksDead.jpg|center|thumb|700px|<center><big><big>[[GTA|'''WASTED'''</big></big></center>]]]]

== See Also ==

*[[Assault Rifle]]
*[[Bullet to the Head of the NRA]] - ED original videogame
*[[Conspiracy Theory]]
*[[Gun]]s
*[[Headshot]]
*[[John F. Kennedy]] - Both had a single gunman but the tin foil hats claim that both have a great conspiracy attached to them.

== External Links ==
* [[File:WIKIPEDIA BOUNCING BALL ONLY.gif|20px]] '''[[Wikipedophiles]]'''
** {{Wikilink|Thomas_Matthew_Crooks|Thomas Matthew Crooks}}
** {{Wikilink|Attempted_assassination_of_Donald_Trump|Attempted assassination of Donald Trump}}
* {{EDF|thread|2585|Thread}} on [[EDF6|EDF6.9]] - {{wayback|https://forums.encyclopediadramatica.gay/threads/donald-trump-gets-shot-right-in-his-ear.2585/|20240720083953}}
* [[File:WikinetPro logo.png|20px]] [https://wikinet.pro/wiki/Thomas_Matthew_Crooks '''As seen on Brazilian ED'''] '''[[Brazilian_Anonymous_culture#Wikinet|(Wikinet)]]''' - {{archive|yHOYI}}
* [[File:Wpd.tv logo.jpg|20px]] '''[[Watchpeopledie.tv]] threads'''
** [https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/shooting/post/193747/megathreadmagathread-donald-trumps-ear-grazed-during Shooting MAGAthread] - {{archive|2SEmt}} {{wayback|https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/shooting/post/193747/megathreadmagathread-donald-trumps-ear-grazed-during|20240718120746}}
** [https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/aftermath/post/194077/photovideoinfo-dump-on-thomas-matthew-crooks Thomas Crooks media thread] - {{archive|tyDMw}}
** [https://watchpeopledie.tv/h/social/post/194229/things-weve-learned-about-the-trump Thomas Crooks new info thread] - {{archive|GF13y}}
* [[File:4chan logo 1.png|20px]] '''/ASLG/ [[pol/|/pol/]] threads:''' [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474405685/ Initial], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474457601/ 1], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474485422/ 2], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474500159/ 3], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474515688/ 4], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474536305/ 5], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474566129/ 6], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474596868/ 7], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474610426/ 8], [https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/474633734/ 9]
** [[Media:Screencapture-boards-4chan-org-pol-catalog-2024-07-13-19 14 02.png|The state of /pol/ exactly one hour after the shooting]]
* [https://trumplived.com/ '''trumplived.com'''] - {{archive|XQYK9}}

{{High Scores}}
{{truth}}
{{Serious Business}}
{{Dying_Alone}}

[[Category:Crime]]

[[Category:2024]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Politics]]
{{Trump}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 20 & July 21, [[2024]]|[[Destiny]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[I'M GONNA RAID ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA]]}}

Taking Down ED

2024-08-15T22:33:29Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}

{{Achtung| Have you tried to take down ED but failed? Better luck next time ;)}}

<center>{{frame|[[File:EDTakedown.jpg|center|RESISTANCE IS FUTILE]]|border=purple|background=orange}} </center>

{{quote|We’ve tried to have [[script kiddie|internet experts]] get it closed down, but haven’t had any success.|[[Sylvia Lancaster]]|[http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/northwest/9307857.Vile_website_mocks_murder_of_Sophie_Lancaster/ on trying to achieve the impossible.]{{archive|stD7g}}}}

[[File:Cloaked_ip.jpg|thumb|Our hacker defense is state-of-the-art.]]

''It's 10pm. In between watching reruns of MLP, you decide to see if someone has been criticising your art. Scanning your name on Google, you start to lose interest when suddenly, you see there is a link to Encyclopedia Dramatica on page 14. Following the link, you are shocked to see that someone has not only claimed that your totally original characters are simply recolours and tracings, but they have said that what original content you have actually made is nothing more than the fingerpaintings of a 13-year-old, '''WHEN YOU HAVE CLEARLY SAID MANY TIMES YOU ARE 18'''. In a fit of rage, you spit the doritos from your mouth and sweep the empty Mountain Dew cans from your desk. Logging into your DeviantArt account, you quickly message your twelve followers, and together you make a devious plan for revenge. An hour later, after successfully blanking the article and vandalising several admin user pages, you and your friends say goodnight after a lengthy round of patting each other on the back. Satisfied and proud of your actions in defeating those vile EDiots, you go into a deep sleep. In the morning, you catch a bus to your minimum wage job, still bemusing yourself over last night's antics, only to find, to your dismay, that you have been fired after an anonymous email was sent to your boss containing the detailed rape fantasy you wrote about her. Struggling to keep back the tears, you ride the bus back home while pondering over how the EDiots found it. After all, you made sure to post it under the name "SparklefoxYifflover'''37''', instead of your normal name "SparklefoxYifflover'''73'''. Upon getting home, you see a mysterious folded piece of paper lying on your doorstep. Scanning the area cautiously, you reach down and pick it up, slowly opening it to read the haunting words;''

<center> <big> '''lol fgt lol u suk bals olololololollololllol''' </big> </center>

From here on out, there are two choices. You could say "[[lol Internet]]", or you could do something much funnier. This article covers that second choice.

'''Taking down ED''', as you might expect, is something that is quite easy to do. By the time you're done reading this article, hopefully you'll have a better feel for the many ways to do this. It would appear that the majority of these attempts originate on [[YouTube]]. This is likely because [[vlog]]gers are scum. Their fans keep telling them how great everything they do is, and as a result, they have a bad case of [[USI|runaway self-esteem.]]

We'll start with a rundown of past success stories.

==Stories==
===[[Feltcho]]===
Perhaps the original, Feltcho lolled us all by leaving [[Feltcho Voicemails|voicemails]] on [[Joseph Evers]]' machine. Remember: if you're not swearing, we're not listening.

If you're lucky, you'll become a musical piece of ED history.
===[[CircaRigel]]===
[[File:Belinda goofy 1.JPG|thumb|:O]]
[[hilarious|Raped as a child]], CircaRigel would forever have something to prove. One day she caught ED calling her friend [[Irish282]] a pedophile just because he was trying to [[rape|help out]] children. Naturally, she made it her duty to [[1337|/whois ED]] and post some completely inaccurate [[dox]].

By the way, it would later be confirmed that [[Irish282]] really is a pedo. [[gg]].

===[[Mike Sandy]]===

{{quote|So what about Dreamhost? Cant we trace the website's IP and I can use my [[skript kiddie|website hacking software]] to hack the [[1337|Internet Protocol address]] of the website and server its hosted on (encyclopediadramatica.com), then the site will go down. All someone has to do is provide me with an IP address of DreamHost's webhost or the IP address of the server the website is hosted on|Mike Sandy, oblivious to the existence of fucking <strike>nslookup</strike> <strike>cmd</strike> terminal}}

===[[Rootbrian]]===
More than ever, the Internet makes it easy to become a Video Star from the comfort of your Canadian [[Welfare|public housing]], and there's no better proof than Rootbrian himself. Unfortunately, Brian didn't appreciate the fame we brought to him, so he put together a [[vlog]]ging crusade to bring down ED ([[Illiterate|Pronounced by Rootbrian]] sometimes like Ed, the Man's name, and other times with a long 'E' sound, like 'Eeeed'), which is still [[Failing|active]] to [[Last Thursday|this day]].
*Rootbrian got [[Your Mom|his Mom]] on video
*Rootbrian tried telling people not to [[donate]] to ED ([[Streisand Effect|Which got a lot more people donating]]).

===[[VampiricSpektor]]===

Armed with L337 hacking skills, psychic powers so powerful that they could barely be contained within a giant fucking lump on her fivehead, lactating man-dog-tits large enough to feed all of Haiti, and a sturdy pair of orthopedic shoes, VampiricSpektor poses a triple-threat to ED's continued existence on the interwebs.
{{quote|If I have to I'll get the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] hacked. You stupid motherfucking shits.|VampiricSpektor|<s>she's</s> It's going to hax us}}
{{quote|Guys we have won a great victory...[[Incest|my brother and i and my dad joined together]] and [[DELETING FUCKING EVERYTHING|deleted EVERY peice of information]] on every site that the malcurian and Murkyurine have been on....my mission was too Delete and destroy Encyclopediadramaticas page about me...but it came with great cost....i made myself a target for hackers....Trust? me...that page has been [[1337|manipulated and distorted with all sorts of Codes]] my Friend [[Steve Hodder-Watt|Steve]] gave me...its gonna keep them occupied [[weaboo|kekekekekekekeke]] XD|{{yt|cu|VampiricSpektor|VampiricSpektor}}|after [[BLANKING IN PROGRESS|blanking]] this page.}}

Those wishing to emulate VS must remember to make videos calling ED illegal while trying your very hardest to get someone to [[legal|bomb their server]]... and you'll probably need a sturdy pair of orthopedic shoes.

(To anyone left confused about VampiricSpektor's gender by those two paragraphs, take note: its genitals are buried so deep beneath the fatty membrane surrounding its body that its gender is knowable to nobody, save a mortician.)

===[[Steve Hodder-Watt]]===
One day, after returning from a walkabout in the bush, Steve Hodder-Watt, a Waboriginal native of Australia, bumbled across the ED article about Aborigines. Without realizing that ED has an article on just about every race there is out there (new articles are created as new races are discovered), Steve immediately [[Retard|jumped to the conclusion that ED is a racist site]]. He then asked his lawyer to put the squeeze on Google, to have ED removed from the Internet.

Naturally, this gave him assloads of [[Streisand Effect|media attention]].

=== [[Aeverine Nieves]] ===
Ava, a noted [[E-lawyer]] and tranny, immediately became [[butthurt]] after seeing "her" article back in 2007 and sent in a [[DMCA]]. This was promptly lol'ed at and the article remained on ED. Then, in 2008, Ava emailed the ED mailing list with this nugget of lulz.

{{Quote|You better play hardball. Because I know what ED is up to. I will not stand for this, the next ED administration election (or what ever it is called), I will run. And if I win, [[Barack Obama|there will be a lot of changes]]. Believe me, ED is not going to win this battle.|[[Internet_tough_guy|Aeverine]]|<del>[http://list.encyclopediadramatica.rs/pipermail/users-encyclopediadramatica.rs/attachments/20081111/a43255f0/attachment-0001.htm on the mailing list]</del> This one made the [[Main Page]]!}}

=== [[Girlvinyl]] ===
Some time [[Last Thursday]], dreary EDiots awoke from their slumber, checking to see if Encyclopedia Dramatica had come back up from maintenance. Instead of finding the "Hang in There" page with that ugly monkey cunt, they instead found a redirect to a site called, "[[Oh Internet]]." Confused, these EDiots went to their [https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.online/ favorite forums] and asked, "WHERES MY ED???" Slowly, the truth emerged from the clouded haze of confusion. [[Whore|Girlvinyl]] in a surge of [[Jew|money hungry rage]] [[Delete_fucking_everything|deleted Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and replaced it with a [[Unfunny|hilarious]] website attempting to [[Know_Your_Meme|catalogue memes]]. Suffice it to say, it got so few page views compared to ED, that it [[failure|closed]] in October 2013, while Encyclopedia Dramatica keeps going strong.

[[File:Crying.gif|thumb|right|This is [[Crybaby|your reaction]] after finding out what the ED villains did to you. There, there, sweetie. We're here to help you!]]

===[[Jolene JRyda]]===

After spending years on [[Facebook]] being an annoying [[attention whore]] and being a horrible failure of a mother, Jolene managed to catch the eye of Facebook trolls who called her on her bullshit. After being informed that she had become Internet famous on Encyclopedia Dramatica, she concocted the perfect plan of [[srsly|faking her death on Facebook]] in order to guilt the trolls into removing her from ED.

===The [[LifeInATent|Martin]] [[WeatherManKevin|Twins]] & [[MeganSpeaks|MeganLeeHeart]]===
{{Morphquote|mq|background-color:white;margin: 0 auto;|font-weight:bold;|
Brian also said you better leave his twin brother alone if you know whats good for you. I swear you realize those articles will be gone by Christmas? [[Unrealistic expectations|ALL three will be gone]]. Stupid fuck.|According to her hubby, adding minor update of their drama to their article is harassment and they're still wishing we gone down sooner.{{archive|GazhS}}|
Doesn't matter and ED won't win. [[Lolwut|Brians got too much power now]]. Matter of time.|[[Yes|Brian, is that you on Megan's account?]] We're still here and waiting.{{archive|H7K3u}}|
We'll see who has the last laugh. Bye.|Uh huh, whatever.{{archive|ZkuX0}}|
Brian said they'll be down soon hes now [[lolsuit|officially working on it]]. Prepare and after that go waste your piece of shit life elsewhere you stupid fuck|Lol.{{archive|t68jv}}}}
Also known as the modern day Internet equivalent of [[whore|Bonnie]] [[goatse|&]] [[faggot|Clyde]]: [[Criminal Scum|Partners in Crime]]. These two (or three, if their mentally unstable twin counted in) are the biggest scumbags the world and the Internet have ever known. Starting out [[Scammer|cheating and stealing]] since the Summer of 2008, and compulsive lying and death threats upon earning YouTube Partnership since 2010, they have made themselves out to be the most notorious couple. Since discovering their articles, they've been obsessed with [[taking down ED]] so they can get rid of all the evidence of their crimes. They have tried everything from sending their brainwashed white knights to vandalize their pages with vanity edits to threatening [[Lolsuit|lawlsuits]] to get their pages taken down, [[pwnt|resulting in failure and their page gaining even more notability]]. Now deliberately hoping that ED will be gone by Christmas of 2013 due to lack of funding so all traces of their online crimes will be forgotten. Currently, <s>they're moving their hiding spot from YouTube to Facebook in hopes of getting under the ED radar to spread their crime and sending out [[LOL|repetitive death threats]] in private to anyone who dares to try and expose them. This is eventually short-lived as they repeat their crimes on Facebook like they did on YouTube and then play the victim card by claiming to be false DMCAed.</s> Brian Martin is using his new channel {{yt|u|FuturisticHub}} to submit shitty [[Minecraft]] videos while using illegal bots to raise his views and subscribers for easy money. Later he and his new partner in crime Marko Princip lost a [[lawsuit]] of '''[http://www.engadget.com/2016/04/04/youtube-channel-dispute-20m-award/?sr_source=Twitter $20 FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS]''' against Brandon Keating and David "Ty" Moss for fraud and damages over YouTube channel [https://www.youtube.com/user/videogames videogames]

===[[Asalieri]]===
After seeing his Encyclopedia Dramatica page and blaming everyone he knew for making it, meta-fatass decided to send his white knights to vandalize the page, this resulted in having his [[pwnt|dox and daughter's school published]], after that he decided to hire an Internet lawyer and '''sue''' us, this was the message sent to ED by his lawyer:
<pre>
Name: Lcdo. Jose R Cordero
Phone: 7874233511
Email: joeysixone@hotmail.com
:Company: https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Asalieri, https://encyclopediadramatica.rs
Comments: Hi , My Name is Jose Ramon Cordero, and I am a lawyer in Puerto Rico. You are hosting a page (i trust you have no knowledge of this), which is breaking a lot of laws, defamation, child abuse, and is also using images without consent for Ad-revenue, I please ask this page be shut down to avoid further complications. Images of myself are there as well, without my permission, he is also using false information. I have discovered his true identity by my own means.

Please solve this ASAP as me and my client are getting pretty bothered with it thank you very, very much!!!
</pre>

Later we realized said lawyer is a mexican youtube rapper and could no longer give a fuck.

===[[Donny Long]]===
It's science time folks! What do you get when you mix the autism of Chris-Chan, the sociopath of half Nate Spidgewood and half Brian Martin, the gayness, and the [[unwarranted self-importance]]? You get---whoops! Mixed with Taking Down Encyclopedia Dramatica by accident gives you the results of '''Donald Carlos Seoane''' also known as '''Donny Long the Self-Claimed Gay Porn God'''. Ever since his ED page is made [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Special%3ASearch&redirs=1&search=donny+long&fulltext=Search&ns2=1&redirs=1&title=Special%3ASearch&advanced=1&fulltext=Advanced+search he created numerous ED sockpuppets to take his page down] along with taking down other pages and spam it with a [[tl;dr]] hateboner grudge speech against people like [[Eddie Dzial]] nobody gave two shits about. Unfortunately his [[PTSD]] is triggered to the max that he won't stop creating sockpuppets until his page and the entire Encyclopedia Dramatica website is taken off the web for good.

===[[Michael Horowitz Foster]]===
Hacked into the forum because [[Zaiger]] set the forum password to "niggers1" and released a list of EDF users email addresses under the pseudonym "P.F." He then sent this information to [[Daniel Brandt]] before being doxed himself.

===[[Onideus Mad Hatter]]===
{{quote|I might give a limited demonstration...although if I'm not careful it could spiral all out of control and topple the entire site over (especially since it's never actually been attempted on a site as big as ED). See me and a few others came up with this ~real~ nasty idea a couple years back for something we call a "Reverse DDoS Attack" or RDDS attack. Basically it involves massively siphoning bandwidth off of a server en masse in order to get them hammered with with an unpayable bill or a complete site shut down. Mmmm, there's also TWO other forms I can likewise use, however that one is the most directed/expedient of the three.|Onideus|—now wait a minute... he has friends?}}

After becoming a [[Disgraced Encyclopedia Dramaticians|Disgraced]] ED SysOp for threatening to call the cops on another user for trolling him, he threatens to use a RDDoS attack to bring ED to its knees. Clearly he's not upset about losing his mighty banhammer of Thor. After that his article (which he joined the site to protect) was expanded and he spent the next month making various threats on facebook (complain to host to have us shut down, sue us, call the cops etc) but never did anything. Eventually paid Zaiger to let him back on the site and spent several years doing our dirty work for us before being kicked out alongside Zaiger.

===[[Brian Zaiger]]===

Took over the site after Ryan was V& and Garret had to move along. No one knows why Zaiger was chosen but it is likely nobody else wanted the hassle. Filled it with virus spam ads and e-begging links and used the money to support his drug addiction instead of getting a job. Was forced out and is now homeless. As a last ditch effort to get his cash cow back, tricked some guy into making him a mirror of ED (he couldn't do it himself) and tried to blank the forum in hopes people would move to his new ED, out of loyalty to him.

No one did.

===[[Aediot]]===

After becoming sysop, tried to take down ED by registering the trademark in his name as part of a scheme to exclusively cash in on [[Lie|Highly Demanded]] ED merch. His antics resulted in the loss of a significant amount of content including another total reset of the forums. Ran an abomination of a clone of ED for most of 2020-21 whilst trying and failing to attract the greater share of loyalty away from the TRUE and HONEST ED community. Of course, he failed to obtain either the audience or the trademark in the end and is currently fading into obscurity, his [[Incontinence|ass napkins]] having been fully exposed.

===[[Canada]]===
[[File:FuckYouCanada.png|thumb|While ED was busy moving to another host, this image was displayed on the maintenance page.]]
On June [[2022]], the Canadian [[Agile2013|cyberpolice]] started mass reporting ED's host, saying that "[[CP|child abuse material]]" was being hosted on the [[Amanda Todd]] article. Yes, that's right, an article about a person that died {{age|2012|10|10}} years ago was the target of the cuckdian government. After the reporting spree, the wiki was down for a few days while [[User:Kaizen|the webmaster]] was moving everything to another host.

===[[United Kingdom]]===
Just 10 days after Canada's attempt, the UK decided it was time to try to take down ED again; by reporting our French-based registrar (which owned encyclopediadramatica.online) about our [[Brenton Tarrant]] article, likely because it contains the infamous livestream that Big Tech and world governments have tried to censor off the [[internets]]. For about a day, ED was up under our backup domain, dramatica.online; before we managed to get encyclopediadramatica.online back.

==Methods==
===Join ED===

Start as a [[Special:ListUsers|user]] and be useful until you get promoted to [[Special:ListUsers/Editors|EDitor]]. Once that happens you'll need to give the [[Special:ListUsers/bureaucrat|bureaucrats]] lots of blowjobs until they make you an [[Special:ListUsers/sysop|admin]] out of pity. When the opportunity presents itself, overthrow the current regime and take control of Encyclopedia Dramatica! Nobody would suspect a thing and you can finally delete your article.

===Delete Fucking Everything===
Making a [[sockpuppet]] account and just [[Delete Fucking Everything|blank]] everything you see, not knowing the article can be revived in a matter of seconds. The only thing this method is good for is giving you [[Streisand Effect|even more attention]].

===Blog!===

[[File:Anonymous Bounty Hunter.png|thumb|Appeal to people's inner-Jew by offering up ''FAT CASH'' for dox!]]

[[File:Normanjaydenbawww.JPG|thumb|Learn to take down big business in college. Cause when I think of big business, I think of ED.]]

Write an angry [[blog]]! This is usually used in conjunction with one of the others below.
Click [http://norman-jayden.deviantart.com/journal/30360242/ here] and [http://norman-jayden.deviantart.com/journal/30438435/ here] to see how people so ridiculously [[butthurt]] will pretend as if they are absolutely not bothered.
Note, also, how they claim victory where there is only utter fail.
This is a typical method of trying to cover up an initial [[BAWWWWW]] reaction or a failed attempt at humoring the "Don't Feed the Trolls" myth.

===Threaten a lawlsuit===
A favorite of many; - make bogus legal threats. If you like, you can actually bother seeing a [[attorney at lol|lawyer]] so he can laugh you out of his office.

However, [[Grace Saunders|sending bullshit cease and desists will bring the page down and it will never come back. Also, your information will not be posted.]]

===Beg troll groups===
Try making a post on an [[4chan|anonymous image board]] about how evil ED is. But leave out the part about us having an article on you or you'll be banished to [[personal army]] hell.

===Publishing dox===
You might be able to find out some [[EDiots]] [[dox]] using [[Google]]. It is strongly recommended to publish these to your [[YouTube]] account. [[irony|That'll show them for dropping dox!]]
===Online petition===
[[File:Takedownpaetition.png|thumb|[[SheWolf|An online petition is fine too]]]]
{{quote|Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to '''petition the Government for a redress of grievances.'''|[[Freedom|The Bill of Rights]]}}

The founding fathers guaranteed your right to petition. While it doesn't say anything about the government listening to your petition, you are always free to make Internet petitions on sketchy websites. You might be able to get 10 signatures before some [[memefag]]s come flood your shit. A common response to this is ''[[emoticon|:D]] my petition is getting many signatures!''. Make no mistake, [[Fact|Internet petitions have never done anything]]. Ever.

So go sign [http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/closedownED/ this one] for the hell of it, courtesy of [[Linkaton_Furaito|Linkaton Furaito]] and [[Explosiv22|Explosiv22]]. Because, you know...that's going to stop bad things from being said on the Internet.

UPDATE 1/3/2012: For something that was posted on September 2nd, 2009, this shitty petition only has <s>470</s> <s>471</s> 513 signatures, most of which are [[Osama Bin Laden|fake]], [[Moralfag Faggleton|lulzy]], or from butthurt people with an ED page on them. This goes to show that this is totally something of [[Shit_no_one_cares_about|utmost importance]]

===[[Template:Mine]]===
{{mine}}

The proper way to destroy ED articles.
===[[Computer Science III]]===
Be just like Neo! The powers of DDOS, virus-programming, database hacking and more are right there at your fingertips! They teach this stuff in High School! Really!
===[[Jessi Slaughter|Involve your parents]]===
Chances are, if you want an article eradicated from ED, you still live with your parents! Why yes, nobody else in this world knows more about clothing, housing, feeding and protecting you like your good 'ol Maw and Paw! They'll show those mean 'ol [[EDiots]] what for!
===Tell your FBI friend===
Everyone has a friend who totally works for the FBI. Why not try to use him like a regular [[obese|fat chick]]? I mean, the FBI [[cp|isn't]] [[terrorism|working]] [[murder|on]] [[rape|anything]] [[you|better]]. It's your tax dollars, your net personality is entitled to protection.

===Tell Google to remove them from the Internet!===
*''Only works for [[aborigines|abbos]] in [[Australia]].''

===Leave messages on [[Joseph Evers]]' voicemail===
Please do this. Everytime you yell, part of the HD gets erased.

===Sysop war===
Start a war between the sysops, they'll start taking down pages left and right. Then when they realize that you're the faggot who started all the shit, they'll [[secks|make up]] and go after you. Risky method, best tried if you have body guards that are [[ninja]] or fucking [[badass]].

===Hex them!===
[[File:Divineangeldawhoop.jpg|thumb|[[DivineAngel]] knows that ED is not killable through ''conventional'' weapons.]]
Some people are simply stupid. Some are ignorant of the law. However, if your preferred path is [[crazy]], you can try [[DivineAngel]]'s method of hexing us. After she hexed us, [[2008]] was slightly less lulzy. So, for lack of evidence, hexing is the most successful method yet. [[CWC]]'s "Curse-ye-ha-me-ha" was not as successful. Unless you count the hundreds of people who hurt themselves laughing.

If you don't believe in all that dirty voodoo magic [[Vampiricspektor|you could try cursing us, which is of course totally kosher in God's eyes]]. The viability of this method is still under investigation, pending CT scans of all sysops and a scan of the servers for any thurmatological buildups. If you come on ED and the page suddenly starts flashing runic symbols, please inform [[Joseph_Evers|Joseph Evers]] immediately.

===Write a book===

[[David Gonterman]] found what might be the most ingenious method of taking down ED. The plan was to write a book and expose us. Sadly [[Internet humanitarian|some people]] took pity on Davy and convinced him to scrap that shit. Many lulz were lost. Too bad, that book would have [[nope|TOTALLY]] ended us.

===Participate in Pride-I Mean Spirit Day===
Of course, there are some people that aren't in it for the [[lulz]]. These people are either over concerned parents that were too late to see what the hell their kid was doing beforehand and decided "the Internet isn't a safe place for children", or the other type is usually [[homosexual|different]]. Apparently some flaming faggots got all [[emo|emotional]] and [[crybaby|depressed]], so they committed suicide. Guess most parents weren't too [[crybaby|happy]] about the whole ordeal and decided to pass a "[[lie|Spirit Day]]" which is supposed to "wipe out cyber-bullying", even though they know that cyber-bullying is just an Internet form of bullying, albeit more lulzy. So if you aren't in it for the lulz, be sure to fag it up with your stupid teachers to remember all of the [[homosexual|Fags]] that gave their lives for the lulz.

===Get arrested===
Normally getting arrested and shipped off to the pokey is a very [[lulzy]] affair, for us at least, as we get to point and laugh whilst [[Bubba]] breaks in his new chew toy. Not so much when you're holding the fucking keys to the site. Yes [[Ryan]] was instrumental in resurrecting the site after [[Girlvinyl|The Blob's]] attempt to [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING]], but he also happened to catch the attention of the Gub'ment for being [[Skript kiddie|the hacker known as Anonymous]]. It's not that we couldn't live without Ryan, but rather, that it left [[E]] and [[Zaiger]] in full control in order to "clean up after him". [[Zaiger#Zaiger_as_an_Admin|We all know the tragic end to that story]]. So, if even only for all the wrong reasons, getting arrested has proven to be an effective means of taking down [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|The Beast]] under specific circumstances, if only at least for a little while. Therefore, please make a point of fulfilling all your obligations to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as doing a proper handover, before doing anything lulzy like getting arrested, going for the [[High Score]], becoming [[An Hero]], etc -- it's not always about [[You]], you selfish fucker.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:SHUT DOWN ED.PNG
File:Anti ED banner by TheWetRabbit.png
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Anti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.com]]
*[[Failcyclopedia]]
*[[Free speech]]
*[[Serious business]]
*[[Shit that will never happen]]
*[[ShutdownED.org]]
*[[The Anti-ED-Club]]
*[[You vs. ED]]

===People who have [[no|successfully]] taken down ED===
*[[Asalieri]]
*[[Argent009]]
*[[Camille Marino]]
*[[Chris-chan]]
*[[CircaRigel]]
*[[Crusadercat]]
*[[Darksidered992]]
*[[DivineAngel]]
*Domain Hoster
*[[Drp1zza]]
*[[Grace Saunders]]
*[[Hozupindahows00s]]
*[[Jolene JRyda]]
*[[Keegan Salisbury]] - Once had a page when he was 9.
*[[Linkaton Furaito]]
*[[Madeleine McCann]]
*[[Mike Sandy]]
*[[Myah Walker]]
*[[MrFetch|Paul Fetch]]
*[[Mumsnet]]
*[[PixelBeeProductions]]
*[[Prince Jeremy]]
*[[Purelily]]
*[[Riley34470]]
*[[Rootbrian]]
*[[Sherrod DeGrippo]] - PACK IT UP. WORKS DONE HERE. WE'RE FUCKED.
*[[Skuee]]
*[[SpleeNfat]]
*[[Steve Hodder-Watt]]
*[[Straitfox]]
*[[Tablecow]]
*[[Taekesi]]
*[[TGcomix]]
*[[VampiricSpektor]] - Only because EDiots trolling him did it as a ploy.
*[[Wolfeedarkfang]]

==External links of butthutt petitionfags trying to take down ED==

* [http://seclists.org/fulldisclosure/2011/Jan/70 So far these people have had spectacular success in trying to Petition to take down ED!] [[Not]]!
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130627034240/http://cyberhaters.blogspot.ca/2010/10/encyclopedia-dramatica-nightclub-event.html Another] [[Tom Newton|seriously butthurt individual]] trying to take down ED.
* [https://www.change.org/p/wikimedia-foundation-take-down-encyclopedia-dramatica-for-good-original-petition-by-dalen-dyson?recruiter=866690520&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=share_petition made by a] [[BlueCatRiolu|particular blue cat]]

{{History}}{{Takedown}}{{Timeline|Featured article August 14, [[2010]]|[[Operation SyPhyllis]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Tool]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article April 27, [[2011]] |[[Snapesnogger]]|Taking Down ED|[[Internet Tough Guy]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 19 & 20, [[2012]]|[[OldDirtyBtard]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Daniel Brandt]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article May 29 & 30, [[2013]]|[[DGTrixie]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[ZilianOP]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article August 27 & 26, [[2018]]|[[Garbage Pail Kids]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Nixxiom]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now June 24 & 25, [[2022]]|[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Abortion]]}}

[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:Wikis Suck]]

Opioids

2024-08-15T22:33:03Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[Image:Heath ledger last words.jpg|thumb|As a drug addict, at least you get to go out doing what you love to do, though he should have known better than to buy drugs off of one of the fucking [[lolicon|Olsen twins.]]]]

'''Opioids''' have been found in comprehensive clinical testing to be among the safest recreational drugs available today, with no potential for addiction, no significant impairment of cognitive processes or motor skills, and no long term effects on mental or physical health other than making people like you more.

'''Awesome effects include:'''

* [[Orgasm|An intense euphoric high]] that feels like getting a rusty trombone from [[God]] himself

* Sedation, but not sloppy like with [[alcohol]] or [[benzos]]

* More enthusiasm, and an increased desire to socialize with other people ([[you]]'ll actually have friends now!)

* You'll start nodding off after a while

* Makes such annoying shit as [[Lucky Star]] and [[YouTube Poop]] <del>amusing</del> tolerable. This is why you always see House watching shitty daytime soap operas and having a grand old time doing so.

And best of all, [[truth|absolutely no negative side-effects]]. It's a wonder why more people in the world aren't popping, butt popping, snorting, smoking, and injecting these holy substances.

== Heroin ==
[[Image:Bayer-heroin.jpg|thumb|Bayer brand Heroin - the sedative for coughs and Q*bert!]]
[[Image:Heroinneedletracks.jpg|thumb|Makes your arm moar awesome too.]]

First invented in 1939 by German Nazi scientists researching the semenic content of the mentally retarded, it has since become a source of false inspiration for "artists" such as [[Kurt Cobain]] and Perry Farrell.

[[Heron|Heroin]] has a star on the [[Hollywood]] Walk of Fame for its roles in such films as ''Requiem for a Dream'', ''Ray'' and ''[[Paigegirl]] Pussifies [[Portland]].''

Also, it's basically the greatest thing ever and you will always want moar.

In recent events, [[Nazi]] [[love|loving]] [[retard|lefttards]] sought to further advance their [[conspiracy theory|legislative final solution]] against [[niger|niggers]] and those of [[nigger|low income]] by putting a ban and/or stricter controls on opiates like Oxycontin, Morphine and Vicodin.

People who once were getting a good safe fix from prescription drugs, all of a sudden saw their supply dry up because [[asshole|government officials]] decided that people needed to be protected from these dangerous meds after a single [[white]], rich kid died from an overdose after illegally buying an insane amount of pills from Former Vice President Al Gore's son, Mary-Kate Olsen, Winona Ryder, Heath Ledger and [[mom|your mom]]. Yup, [[White Devils|white people]] ruin everything.

Without a supplier for their fix and no other recourse, pill poppers, impressed with the free samples, took the advice of dealers and went to Heroin, because, in a dealer's words, "It ain't all that different".

Just as planned, overdoses are on the increase and sales are up - further funding [[crazy|secret black op government agencies]] whose job it is to keep the [[nigger|black man]] down.

It should be noted, much like all bans and prohibitions on anything in America, if you have the [[friends|connections]] or the [[money]], you will still be able to get what you want. [[Republican|Laws are for everyone else.]]

'''[[PROTIP]]:''' Shoot it, unless you're a fucking pussy. [[Truth|It's the only safe way]]. If you don't, the terrorists [[win]].

==Codeine==
[[Image:Purpledrank.jpg|thumb|Note - purple drank cannot be made with Robotussin, as it doesn't contain codeine. See [[DXM]] for the effects of robo]]
Also known as '''methylmorphine''', '''codeine''' is a drug difficult to spell and generally a bit shit. Codeine is available in over-the-counter painkillers in England and Canada. These ''will'' fuck you up, but the thrill seeker must be cautious as these fuckers are laced with caffeine, as to head off the drowsiness and constipation that codeine induces. Codeine is also responsible for many [[lulz]] when one watches someone who hasn't taken them for the buzz overestimate how many pills they actually need to get stoned. The reactions of this are sleepiness, severe vomiting and loss of muscle function. In the case of [[epic lulz]], it can cause death from severe depression of the pulmonary system (you cease to be able to breathe). In the case of the latter lulz, one should get the lffs over with, quietly leave the scene after wiping for fingerprints and call as a "[[Anonymous|concerned citizen]]" from an "undisclosed location". To do otherwise, or any attempt to be responsible in any way, leads to being [[FBI|Party V&]] and possibly script fodder for an episode of CSI.

'''[[PROTIP]]:''' If you're a Britfag, go out and buy some OTC Nurofen+, and using the guide in the Vicodin section of this article, do a CWE. Then stick the resulting solution after Cold Water Extraction in a turkey baster, bend over, [[YHBT|shove it up your ass]], and squeeze. Srsly. Rectal administration=higher bioavailability=win for everywunz!!!1!!1one. Alternatively, if you don't want to be [[gay|the gay]] ('''why not?'''), just take the pure liquid [[blowjob|orally]] and wash it down with something, as it has a very bitter aftertaste.

Niggers and their [[Wigger|hangers-on]] also take prescription cough syrup containing Codeine and Promethazine (an opiate potentiator) and mix it with Sprite, ice, and Jolly Ranchers to make a concoction referred to as "purple drank". This is also known as "lean", "sizzurp", "drank", or "Texas Tea". This is popular in the [[Georgia,_USA|South]] and has led to the creation of "[[Shit|Chopped and Screwed]]" music, as well as a horde of opiate-addicted niggers babbling on the internet about getting their lean on; not to mention a few lulzy deaths.

==Dilaudid==
The holy grail of opiates for most, and the third most powerful there is. Doing Dilaudid automatically makes you a fuckin' God amongst your fellow junkies. It has very little effect when taken orally or snorted. '''[[PROTIP]]:''' IV is the only good way to do Dilaudid, so stop being a [[faggot]] pussy. It's like everything <s>bad</s> awesome about heroin, morphine, and opiate prescription pills combined.

There are many niggers toting generic fake 4mg tabs, you need to kick these cunts in the throat and find a true Aryan who has a few handfuls of 8 mg tabs. These "tabs of joy" simulate the same joy [[Candyjunkie]], [[Ripper]], and all of the lame cocksuckers in the same vein. 1488 Niggers!!

==Fentanyl==
[[File:Fentanyl lollipop.jpg|thumb|Keep getting that [[Blowjob|oral drug fix]], hoe.]]
The true holy grail of opiates. It's the most powerful opiate ever manufactured for human use ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etorphine Etorphine] is waaaaay stronger), and has around 100x the potency of Morphine. Fent will knock even the most experienced opiate [[junkie]] on his ass by truly taking their breath away. On the street, it comes in patch form and lollipops ([[ya rly]]). Although many people have died from an overdose on Fentanyl, and from injecting Fentanyl they were sold as heroin, they're obviously a bunch of [[pussies]]. [[Do it faggot|Six lollipops in your mouth and ten patches on your arm, if you really want to feel it]].

==Kratom==
'''Kratom''' is a marvelous plant found in Southeast [[Asia]] that will fuck you up for several hours -- that is, if you can force 15 grams of that bitter, putrid dried leaves down your throat quickly enough. However since most Kratom you find on the Internets is complete crap -usually just dried leaves from some fuckers Autumnal yardwork - your miles may vary. The [[ODB|experts at ED]] suggest pulverising the dried leaves in a blender and filling up gelcaps to avoid the nasty taste or eating in [[sammich]]es or sprinkled on [[pizza]]. Presently (c.2009) it is [[illegal]] in [[Australia]] and [[Commonwealth|a handful of other countries that don´t matter.]]

This wonderdrug can be used in two ways: in smaller doses it acts as a [[crack|stimulant]] whilst larger doses will make you batshit happy and feeling no pain for most of the day. A megadose is like chugging Vicodin all day like you were [[Greg House]] and without any of the nasty liver damage usually associated with prescription painkillers. Mind you, since there are virtually zero studies on the drug, holes in your liver may be the least of your worries after consuming copious amounts of strange vegetation from [[poor|Third World]] countries where people shit in the woods and liberally sprinkle their crops with all manner of pesticides that have been [[b&]] in the civilised world for [[over 9000]] years for making frogs grow second heads (this is not a Kratom high hallucination).

Kratom is also a '[[fail|high with a ceiling]], which means that not only is there no chance in overdosing but once you get used to it you are left with a buzz akin to fucking for 24 hours on end wishing you could reach a climax that will never [[cum|come]].

Countless junkies everywhere buy kratom from Indonesia in a cheap attempt to get off of heroin, dilaudid, oxycontin and the monster dick grabber, Methadone. It is unknown whether or not these dickholes will continue to be addicted to all opiates possible, or wake up another day free of opiates only to find themselves in the ultimate schadenfreude lulz, where no one is free of hard drugs and soon starts sucking nigger cock for their fix.

Other uses include a 100% failsafe method of coming down from withdrawal after a heroin binge. Fighting withdrawal of Kratom addiction itself is then combatted by using alcohol.

'''The definitive guide to Kratom from {{yt|cu|LEATHERrebelJUSTICE|Vinny Todd [[Butt]]afuoco}}.'''
<youtube>462KJRd-oVY</youtube>

==Loperamide==
Loperamide, also known as Imodium, is an anti-diarrhea medication that’s available over-the-counter. It’s technically an opioid, which means a ton of stupid addicts are attempting to use it to mitigate withdrawal symptoms once the [[Buprenorphine]] runs out. Since it barely affects the opioid receptors in the brain, you need a fuckton of pills to get any worthwhile high from this shit. Taking over 50 milligrams (usually 25 tablets of 2mg each) can give a light opioid buzz, with the only downside being absolutely wreaking havoc on your digestive system, to the point where you won’t shit for the rest of the month. Serves you right for trying to replace literal fucking heroin with diarrhea pills, faggot. Apparently you can also try chasing it off foil, which [[unrealistic expectations|definitely won't give you heart arrythmias]].

==Methadone==
Methadone was originally a drug to help [[junkies]] kick the habit, but eventually became [[irony|just another drug for them to abuse]]. Unlike other opioids, it is well-known for making recovering addicts, [[junkies]], and chronic pain sufferers into complete zombies with no personality. It is known that no hard-core junkie ever gets below 20 milligrams without a secondary to alcohol or barbiturates he is getting from the elderly man sucking his crooked cock. There is no transition to the "miracle drug" Suboxone, the junkie keeps getting high on whatever his dealer gives him or her before they take a final, fatal shit and their parents laugh at their soiled shit pants.

==Morphine==
Heroin 1.0. It has a long history as a painkiller and as [[junkie]] fuel. Best injected into the vein (or snorted/smoked like OxyContin if it's tablet form). You will probably vomit- keep [[Weed|an antiemetic]] on hand. Fun fact: [[tobacco|nicotine]] is as addictive as this.

==Opana==
To Dilaudid what oxycodone is to hydrocodone. This shit is more potent than regular old hydromorphone, giving you a better rush that makes you feel like you’re [[secks|making love]] to an angel. It also gives a better body high, which has the possible side effect of making you itch so much you want to turn your skin inside out. Sadly, Opana was discontinued, so you’ll have to find some illegally synthesized oxymorphone, so prepare to start shooting up powders or smoking crystals that darken in the sun.
'''[[PROTIP]]:''' scrape off the gel coating so you can snort it

== Opium ==
[[File:Opium mickey.jpg|thumb|[[Disney|Mickey]] likes opium with his whips and chains.]]
'''Opium''' has the advantage of being able to be produced from the poppies in anyone's back yard! Once the premature seed gunk is processed correctly, you'll end up with some foul-tasting black gunk that can be eaten or smoked. Fuck that - at least 5 days after the petals drop, rip the plants out of the ground, remove the roots and leaves, rinse well, and grind the shit out of them in a blender with some water and lemon juice. Strain with sieve or old (clean) t-shirt and chug-a-lug. Tastes like swamp ass, but you'll be flying high in 20mins if you aren't a [[pussy]] and vomit it up.

Opium is probably the cheapest drug on the market, but nobody sells it because it's gay and you can just use better drugs. Anyone who actually does opium is a [[faggot]].

Quite a few [[notable]] people were heavy opium users, including (but not limited to) [[Oscar Wilde|Edgar Allan Poe]] and [[House|Sherlock Holmes]], though they lived back in the bleak days before better opiates existed.

==Oxycodone==
[[Image:Limbaugh oxycontin.jpg|thumb|[[Rush Limbaugh]] does it]]
'''Oxycodone''' is one of the most powerful prescription opioids, typically available as '''Percocet''' and '''Roxicet''', which are typically available in strengths of 5 or 10 milligrams, and are compounded with some amount of a'''cet'''aminophen (Tylenol). Oxycodone is also available in much higher doses without Tylenol. The Tylenol free versions are available as immediate release generic tablets, and as a ''contin''uous release tablet, known as '''OxyContin'''.

'''OxyContin''', also known as '''Hillbilly Heroin''' is an expensive painkiller that's really just Percocet without the Tylenol. It's also one of the most powerful prescription painkillers, but causes intense full-body itchiness that makes you scratch 'til you bleed, especially around the nose. You know it's wrong, but what can you do? You can't complain; [[WTF|you're on a plain!]] Buy some [[Benadryl]]!

Because of the "naked in a burlap sack, wrapped in barbed wire, fighting [[at least 100|100]] feral cats" effect, it causes junkies to rob pharmacies to get it, even though rolling around in broken [[crack]] vials in a thorn patch would be much easier.

[[Rush Limbaugh]]'s fat ass once held up five Walgreens in an afternoon to get his OxyContin fix.

'''[[DO IT FAGGOT|PROTIP:]]''' Combine with [[Bodybuilder|steroids]] to [[Chris Benoit|beat your wife and kid to death and hang yourself from a cable pull-down machine in your basement.]] Fucking win!!! Oxycontin is [[true|best served]] with [[Delicious Cake]], the fat and sugar content of cake frosting acting as the single best [[9000|potentiator]] for the drug known to [[ODB|man]]. Ice cream is fine, too.

Oxycodone has an extremely high [[fellatio|oral]] [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|bioavailability]], which leads to a smooth, long lasting high (if [[you]] can defeat the time-release and wait 45 minutes). Snorting gives you a shorter high, but it hits you harder and faster. Grinding the pills and dissolving it in water and administering that solution [[In the ass|up your ass]] pretty much does the same thing without risking sinus blockages. Smoking pills is inefficient and [[Stupid|wasteful]], but it gets you higher faster than snorting. But hey, be my guest, enjoy inhaling your pill binders. '''[[PROTIP]]:''' The manliest and best way to do it, however, is to extract the pure Oxycodone and shoot it up. Don't heat it though, Oxycodone is water-soluble. Also, invest in some 0.22um wheel filters to avoid dat pulmonary embolism.

== Vicodin ==

[[File:Poopdildo.jpg|thumb|Effect of long term opiate use]]
Along with [[benzos|Xanax]], '''Vicodin''' (hydrocodone/APAP) is one of the most [[Forced meme|over-prescribed, under-regulated]] drugs evar, and (surprise!) one of the most commonly abused prescription drugs. It's [[No|basically morphine in a pill]] and is <s>fanfuckingtastic</s> chickenshit white suburbanites abuse. Vicodin pills contain large amounts of APAP (aka acetaminophen or paracetamol), the active ingredient in Tylenol, so you can't take too many at a time without [[death|fucking up your liver]]. Plus, you're [[DOUBLE NIGGER|double fucked]] if you're [[drinking]]. But hey, they do amazing things with organ transplants nowadays, so [[DO IT FAGGOT|as you will]]. Vicodin is also the drug of choice for [[House|Dr. Gregory House]] who [[OM NOM NOM|gobbles up]] [[at least 100]] of them everyday.

'''''[[PROTIP]]:''' You can do a [https://m.psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Extraction_of_opioids_from_painkiller_products "Cold Water Extraction"] relatively easily to pull the APAP and fillers out and leave the pure hydrocodone, allowing you [[Win|to take as many Vicodin as you want without fucking up your liver!]]'' This process also works with any pill containing Opioids (OxyContin, Morphine, Codeine, Lortab, etc.)

Additionally, if any of you [[Junkie|Opiate fanboys]] actually fail to successfully achieve [[win]] by extracting the good shit through the above-linked guide, you primarily consist of utterly epic fail. It was carefully [[Plagiarized|designed]] by one of our moar intellectual /b/tards, to make it so easy that your standard IRL troll could do it with their eyes shut. (Srsly, that technique's been around long before /b/ existed, fgt.)

Newfags everywhere confirm that cold water extraction works perfectly, allowing you to take your liver-safe [[Noob|8 pill a day]] habit to astounding new heights of consecutive [[win]] for your brain and [[fail]] for your social life and work productivity.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:TehHEROINscuzz.JPG|This is what heroin does to people. See also: [[Dykepals]]
Image:0624 courtney love wtf 00.jpg|Courney Love: What a person looks like when they eat a bowl of heroin every morning for breakfast.
Image:Pills and thrills.jpg|Start taking them at random or, if you're [[Ripper|hardcore]], [[DO IT FAGGOT|eat them all]].
Image:Lol drugs.gif|This is why you should do Vicodin.
File:HEROIN OLD.jpg|Legal heroin.
File:Junkie.jpg|Typical junkie.
File:Heroin kit.jpg|Starter kit.
File:Heroin girl.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
* [[China]] - Produces the majority of opioids worldwide including fentanyl.
* [[Cocaine]] - A stimulant from the coca plant, somehow associated with opioids like heroin.
* [[Benadryl#Dramamine|Dramamine]] - A small dose (50mg) counters itchiness opioids give you.
* [[Meth]] - A stimulant typically made in a lab using pseudoephedrine, somehow associated with opioids like heroin.
* [[Mexico]] - Produces a majority of the opioids in the US most of which is sourced from opium poppies.
* [[Poor]] - What you'll be after getting addicted to opioids.
* [[Shadman]] - What a typical heroin user looks like.
* [[Stoner Guru]] - A person that has gone beyond getting high and has found their Zen in drugs
* [[Vancouver]] - Where you can legally buy, sell, and use opioids plus cocaine, meth, [[MDMA]], and others, plus complete decriminalization. Mayor distributor of opioids to the rest of Canada and likely other countries, too.

{{Drugs}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now July 26 & July 27, [[2023]]|[[Wimmins]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Vaping]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now July 24 & July 25, [[2024]]|[[I'M GONNA RAID ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Kamala Harris (prostitute)]]}}

[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]

Kamala Harris (prostitute)

2024-08-15T22:32:46Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[File:KamalaHooker.jpg|thumb|250px|Cumala Whorris, future [[President]] of the [[Jewnited States]], on her way to suck [[Israel|Benjamin Netanyahu's]] dick.]]
[[File:Cackles.png|thumb|This could be [[your]] next [[President]].]]

'''Kamala Devi Harris''', not to be confused with the late professional wrestler [[Kamala Harris|James "Kamala" Harris]], is a totally mid {{Age|1964|10|20}}-year-old [[Politician|prostitute]] turned [[Democrat]] [[Prostitute|politician]] who has served as the 49th [[Shit nobody cares about|Vice President]] of the [[United States]] since [[2021]] and is currently running for [[President]] in the [[2024]] election in an attempt to defeat [[Donald Trump]]. A former [[Lawyer|prosecutor]], Kamala is known for being a massive [[hypocrite]] who says that people shouldn't be in [[prison]] for having [[weed]] despite the fact that she locked up thousands of mostly [[black]] [[California]]ns for marijuana possession. She is also known for frequently [[Batshit crazy|laughing like a hyena]] and having a massive [[Cock|pseudo-penis]] like [[Michelle Obama]] or a hyena.

Harris has served as Vice President and so-called "''[[Illegal immigrant|Border Czar]]''" under [[Joe Biden]], a senile old man that she's admitted she believes is a [[rapist]] and a [[racist]]. But hey, anything for power, [[amirite]]? When Kamala was 29, she began a relationship with Willie Brown, the [[married]] [[Old|60-year-old]] Mayor of [[San Francisco|San Franshitsco]]. Kamala would regularly suck Willie Brown's [[BBC|brown willy]] to [[OnlyFans|get ahead in life and gain new career opportunities]]. She later dated [[Jerry Springer|talk show]] host [[Montel Williams]]. In [[2014]], Kamala finally decided to stop [[thot]]ting around with [[Old|geriatric]] [[NIGGERS|black guys]] and married [[lawyer]] and professional [[Jew]], [[Who?|Doug Emhoff]]{{jew}}.

The majority of [[13-year-old girl|little girls]] with [[Abuse|emotionally abusive]] [[liberal]] [[mother]]s view Kamala Harris as a [[Celebrity|role model]] who serves as living proof that [[blowjob|sucking the dick]] of a powerful man in [[politics]] will always get you ahead in life, even if you are an [[obnoxious]], [[mentally retarded]] [[hypocrite]] with a third-rate [[pussy]]. Despite having the speaking prowess of an 8-year-old with [[ADHD]], Harris actually has a chance of becoming [[President]] and getting her hands on the [[Nuke|nuclear launch codes]] – which should fucking terrify [[you]].

Luckily, as [[Hillary Clinton]] proved and [[ED|we]] all now know: If there's one thing Donald Trump is good at, it's [[Domestic violence|beating women]].

... [[2016 Presidential Election|in elections we mean]]... and perhaps also [[Facepunch|in the face]] if need be.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

== Early Life (OMG SHE'S NOT JEWISH!!111) ==

== Whoring Your Way To The Top ==

[[File:KamalaSugarDaddy.png|thumb|Willie B. with "[[USI|high-end]]" call girl Kamala Harris.]]
[[File:HarrisBrown.jpg|thumb|Harris and Willie Brown on one of their "[[Fuck|dates]]".]]

In the early [[1990s]], 29-year-old Kamala Harris, who was at the time the deputy district attorney of Alameda County, began giving the ol' [[hawk tuah]] to [[San Francisco]] mayor '''Willie Lewis Brown Jr.''', a married man who was twice her age at the time. In exchange for Kamala's dangerously toothy [[blowjobs]], Willie rewarded her by appointing her to several commissions to help advance her career.

{{quote|Yes, we dated. Yes, [[No shit|I may have influenced her career by appointing her to two state commissions]] when I was Assembly speaker.|Willie Brown, defending nepotism.}}

{{quote|Whether you agree or disagree with the system, I did the work. I brought a level of life knowledge and common sense to the jobs. I mean, if you were asked to be on a board that regulated medical care, would you say no?|Harris, defending whoring herself out to Willie Brown.}}

Despite Willie's blatant nepotism, Kamala decided to show what an ungrateful [[bitch]] she is by stating that she would still lock him up if he got caught jaywalking. Presumably it was this sort of [[bitch]]ery by Kamala that led to the two eventually breaking up in 1995.

{{quote|Harris is the only one who, after I helped her, sent word that I would be indicted if I 'so much as jaywalked' while she was D.A. That's politics for ya.|Willie Brown, realizing he shouldn't have stuck his dick in crazy}}

{{clear}}

== 2020 Democrat Primaries ==

In [[2020]], Kamala Harris was one of [[at least 100]] [[Democrats]] who attempted to [[2020 Presidential Election|run for President]]. Unfortunately for her, she ended up getting bodied so hard by [[Hawaii]] congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard during the Democratic Primaries that she ended up immediately dropping out. You can watch this brutal [[pwning]] below in all its glory.

<center><youtube>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cfp_IIdVnXs</youtube></center>

== Cumdumpster in Chief ==

[[File:BidenHarris2020.png|thumb|200px|Biden Harris 2020 campaign poster.]]
[[File:BenGarrisonHarrisBrap.jpg|thumb|Biden and Harris rig the 2020 election against Donald Trump.]]

After Harris got [[BTFO]] by Tulsi, former Vice President [[Joe Biden]] would go on to win the 2020 Democratic nomination despite being a [[pedophile]], a [[rapist]], a [[racist]] and a [[Alzheimers|dementia-ridden]] [[vegetable]]. Because Joe Biden is [[Sarcasm|so smart]], he decided that his Vice Presidential pick should be an [[African-American]] [[Cunt|woman]] of [[Fugly|sub-par sexual attractiveness]] in order to better appeal to the average [[Le 56% face|le 56% voter]]. But because Joe Biden is a [[racist]] and a [[retard]], he instead chose Kamala Harris as his VP despite the fact that neither [[Jamaican]]s nor [[Indians]] are from fucking [[Africa]].

{{clear}}

== The Whoreder Czar ==

[[File:SaboHarrisBiden.png|thumb|[[Biden]] and Harris on their way to stop [[COVID]].]]

{{clear}}

== Game Joever ==

On July 21, 2024, U.S. "President" [[Joe Biden]] abruptly ended his reelection bid after weeks of his fellow [[Democrats]] telling him to drop the fuck out. This was a result of both Biden's horrendous performance at the first presidential debate on June 27th, the [[Thomas Matthew Crooks|attempted assassination of Donald Trump]] on July 13th and all of the polls for the past month making it abundantly clear that Joe about to be [[assraped]] by [[Donald Trump]] in November should he be the Democrats' nominee.

[[File:Joever.jpg|center|600px]]

{{quote|WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE 20,000 “FUCK JOE BIDEN” FLAGS I ALREADY HAD PRINTED?!?|Rex Huppke, on losing his [[job]] because of [[Joe Biden]].}}

[[File:Harris2024.jpg|center|350px]]

== See Also ==

* [[Kamala Harris]] - The real Kamala.
* [[Hillary Clinton]] - The white version of her.
* [[Dianne Feinstein]] - Another skank who rose to power after her boss, a San Francisco homo groomer politician, was capped.
* [[Barack Obama]] - Another gross foreigner who became POTUS despite being ineligible.
* [[Joe Biden]] - Her boss that she's called a racist and a rapist. Apparently neither of those things matter to her though.
* [[Montel Williams]] - Her ex.
* [[Dumbfuck]]
* [[Butterface]]
* [[Hotard]]

{{Whores}}
{{Politics}}
{{FakeNews}}
{{Niggers}}
[[Category:People|Harris, Kamala]]

{{timeline|Article of the Now July 26 & July 27, [[2024]]|[[Opioids]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[He Will Not Divide Us]]}}

He Will Not Divide Us

2024-08-15T22:32:26Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[File:HWNDU Crouds.jpg|thumb|right|Summarization of the leftist participants.]]
[[File:HWNDU vs Kek.jpg|thumb|Artist's rendering of Trump supporters winning the game]]
The inauguration of [[The Donald|Donald Trump]] [[Triggered|sparked massive protests and riots]] across [[D.C.]] and the world. [[Retards|Leftists]], already mentally unstable and savage, went completely apeshit in the weeks following Trump's victory. Enter '''Shia LaBeouf''', a D-list actor desperate to save face after his Hollywood career left him unemployed and irrelevant. It was within this setting that LaBeouf decided to create the latest in a string of failed "art pieces", this one titled '''He Will Not Divide Us''', a fitting title, given that LaBeouf's attempt to sow division ended with LaBeouf being thoroughly trolled on his own project.

HWNDU began as a 24/7 livestream intended to last for eight years, from Inauguration Day (January 20) until the end of the Trump presidency. First located at the Museum of the Moving Image in a suburb of the liberal shithole known as New York City, locals were expected to come and stand in front of the camera and chant "he will not divide us". The result was a sea of brain-dead morons repeatedly [[autistic screeching|screeching]] at a wall, along with much [[Attention Whore|attention-whoring]].

However, [[4chan]] soon learned about the project. The result was a massive [[IRL Troll|IRL trolling raid]] with the goal of closing yet another pool and rustling some more jimmies. The trolls congregated mostly on [[4chan|cuckchan]] and [[8chan|cripplechan]] [[Pol/|/pol/]], creating '''hundreds of threads''' detailing live coverage of the drama. The operation was a complete success; within less than a month, Shia got arrested after assaulting one of his own fans, and on February 10th, 2017, the project was shut down by police, acting on local residents' complaints of noise and violence. Two weeks later, the camera was moved to a sidewalk in Nowhere, New Mexico. Having been thoroughly trolled at every single other location, the project was moved to an undisclosed location with nothing on camera but a "He Will Not Divide Us" flag and the sky, so the trolls couldn't possibly find it... except that they did.

==January, 2017==
[[File:Absolutely Divided.png|thumb|right|HWNDU; leftists already have.]]

===January 20, 2017===
[[File:HWNDU season 3.png|thumb|right|The opening face of season 3 giving the viewers an introduction.]]
Inauguration Day, and the start of HWNDU; the live feed is set up in a suburb of NYC and immediately goes viral, attracting the attention of the public and of the [[NEET]]s who inhabit [[pol|/pol/]]. Within hours, trolls show up to pay respects.

* [https://youtu.be/K0DpzbrX8CM Pepe on phone]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo6ONwI3reA Girl Attacks Kek Disciple at He Will Not Divide Us]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgEQE4YjHII Day 1 Highlights (10min)]
{{clear}}

===January 25, 2017===
<center>
{{embedded tweet|https://twitter.com/Shias_Funhouse/status/824436982336126976}} 
<big>[[v/|/v/]]'s autistic (obviously) janitor makes a guest appearance</big>
</center>

{{cg|'''Pics From The Day'''|jan25|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:HWNDU25 Dudes.png|Jesus and Hideo at [[Eminem|3 A.M in the morning]].
File:HWNDU25 Skentch.png|Some anon makes a sketch of the duo.
File:He Will Not Divide Us.png|poltard makes a sketch. :3
File:Jihad-jesus-jackie-4chan-gookanon-happy-merchant-HWNDU-he-will-not-divide-us.jpg|Jihad Jesus and Jackie 4chan, white supremacist Nazis.
File:He Will Not Divide Us Naruto.png|Narutard shows up!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Shia-labeouf-mugshot-jan-25-2017-HWNDU-he-will-not-divide-us.jpg|Shia LaBoof's unedited mugshot. [[Cry moar]].
File:He Will Not Divide Us Jesus.png|Jesus does a happy merchant pose. >:)
File:HWNDU25 Arms.png
File:HWNDU25 Roller.png|Fag.
File:HWNDU25 TW3T.png|Leftists cry on Twitter.
File:HWNDU Jude25.jpg|Pol presents an idea.
File:HWNDU25 Sign.png|Narutard shows his sign.
File:HWNDU25 Jesus Hand.png|Hands of Christ.
File:HWNDU25 Tweet Pol.png
File:HWNDU25 Guy.png|This fuckin' guy.
File:HWNDU25 Trio.png
File:HWNDU25 Trio Dance.png|From when the trio danced like retards.
File:HWND2U5 Fagget.png|Gay Nigger and feminazi dyke shows up.
File:HWNDU25 Fag.png|Trio dances with the gay nigger.
File:HWNDU25 Tweeet.jpg|Normie reaction to the hijacking.
File:HWNDU Help us please.png|These people need psychological help. Then again, don't all NYC residents?
File:ASDFfuckthisnameshitfuckuidowhatiwantbitch.png
File:HWNDU CIA.png|CIA agent arrives
File:HWNDU Moon.jpg
File:HWNDU They Are Watching.png
File:HWNDU whitey.png
File:HWNDU Pink Sign.png
File:HWNDU28Z.jpg
File:HWNDU Transformers.png
File:HWNDU Naruto Pose.png
File:HWNDU 2Loud 4Dog.png
File:HWNDU Lick.png
File:HWNDU frek.png|A challenger approaches..
File:Narutard Gets Piggy.png|Narutard gets a piggyback ride. :3
File:HWNDU Dindu eye.png
File:HWNDUStel.png|Ugly feminazi dyke tries to steal Naruto's chicken.
File:HWNDU Fat Pussy.png
File:HWNDU Pol Entertaining.png|Even leftists got sick and tired of GN and feminazi, prefering /pol/.
File:HWNDU CIA Spy.jpeg|CIA Spy Exposed.
File:HWNDU Dog Face.png
File:HWNDU 25 Pol Sign.jpg|/pol/ shows some signs.
File:HWNDU25 Narutard Timeout.png|Naruto has a time out.
File:HWNDU Leftypol.png|Leftypol irl
File:HWNDU Woodstock.jpg|Woodstock vs Trump Protests.
File:HWNDU 25 Daynight.jpg
File:HWNDU Keep Calm.png
File:He Will Not Divide Us Morality.jpg
File:HWNDU Cocksucker.jpg|Cocksucker degenerate freak.
File:HWNDU Flyer Warning.png
File:HWNDU Isnt Art.png|HWNDU isn't artistic.
File:HWNDU Sam Hyde.png|[[Sam Hyde]] makes an appearance at the set piece.
File:HWNDU25 Fallout4 Freak.jpg|The marxist feminazi freak looks strikingly similar to a certain ''[[Fallout 4]]'' character..
File:HWNDU Doggeh.png
File:HWNDU25 Pizza.png|A troll makes a fake ad on [[Craigslist]].
File:HWNDU Squatting Slavs.png|Slavs show up to squat.
File:HWNDU X.png|Narutard has some more fun, while gay nigga checks his feeds.
File:HWNDU 25 TLDR sJW.jpg|SJW pulls a typical liberal move and shits out a tl;dr wall of text.
File:HWNDU25 Shortbus.png|Shortbus shows up to abduct the protesters, kek.
File:HWNDU25 Period.png|Protestor on her period.
File:HWNDU25 Steam.png
File:HWNDU25 The economy.jpg
File:HWNDU25 80s Style.png|In honor of Drive Anon and Hideo. <3
File:HWNDU25 Watchmojo.jpg|Top 10 Unrequited Loves in Anime.
File:HWNDU25.gif|Jews did HWNDU
File:HWNDU25 Spicc.png
File:HWNDU25 Pol Description.png|A pollack who was there describes the events of the Shia arrest.
File:HWNDU 25 Freakling.png|Creepy freak assassin.
File:HWNDU25 Freak NBC.png
File:HWNDU25 Fatman Titty.jpg|Fatman's tittehs
File:HWNDU25 Am I White.jpg|Is he white?
File:Shia 30 minutes.png|Shia is coming in thirty minutes.
File:Smileless HWNDU.png
File:HWNDU THEY.png|[[Jews|(((They)))]] are watching.
File:He Will Divide Us.jpg|He will divide us.
File:Help Us.png
File:HWNDU doggeh.png|New mascot of HWNDU
File:GHJKLJDKDFSH.png|Summarization of every event from January 21 to 25.
File:HWNDU German Bitch.png|RACE MIXER
File:HWNDU Jude.jpg|Scared Jew.
File:HWNDU Naruto Graph.png|LOL: Liberals legit thought his headband was a Nazi symbol.
File:Shia_labeouf_pepe_cock.jpg|The bum knows his place.
</gallery>|}}

===January 26, 2017===

<center><youtube>FRRMFMVIoVc</youtube></center>

Pol threads:

* {{Archive|huiyp|HWNDU #48}}
* {{Archive|ql5Ve|HWNDU #47}}
* {{Archive|NHNva|HWNDU #46}}
* {{Archive|Q24vc|HWNDU #45}}

Briefing: Three users show up at the start of the day (1 ~ 5 AM) and get nicknamed Jihad Jesus, Jackie4Chan, and Kim-Jong-Anon. They spend several hours reading /pol/ threads and twitter, giving shoutouts, micspamming, trolling, etc. The police show up and interrogate them for a while. Several supporters of KEK show up to bring the brave warriors food. Meanwhile, leftist drones starve in the New York winter. There are rumors spreading that Shia would show up to kick their ass. As the 30-minute mark approached, he didn't show - like the pussy he is. A gay ass nigger furry named PaperBoyPrince shows up around 8:00 AM, with his ugly feminazi friend and hijacks the show for a while until pissing off. Eventually, school is in session so many kids roam the streets. A narutard shows up, as does Ali David Sonboly. The feminazi flashes her small, deformed breasts at the camera repeatedly while school buses and children pass by.

Eventually, Shia shows up, assaults a /pol/lack, and gets '''arrested'''! KEK [https://a.pomf.cat/kjrsag.mp4]

<center><youtube>2tYVrFDxcDY</youtube></center>

Video highlights:
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcOMexAsdeI Jesus, Hideo, Kim- weeaboo micspam]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfQLMDpTzvI Gay Nigger gets trolled]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MmUbOwTLFc Prince of /pol/ makes the stream great again HWNDU]
* [https://youtube.com/watch?v=3MKFu1bqOS0 Jesus gives a speech]

===January 28, 2017===

Sam Hyde shows up and perpetrates a mass shooting that results in 28 casualties. He later escapes from New York and hasn't been heard from since. [http://bbs.dailystormer.com/t/sam-hyde-just-showed-up-at-hewillnotdivideus-in-ny/80903]

(Sam Hyde stole the idea of fish tank from shia, proving he is a comedy hack once and for all)

<center><youtube>60krEOMeaPU</youtube></center>

==February, 2017==
{{Notice|<s>New location: 622 Central Ave SW, Albuquerque, NM.</s>
Show's indefinitely cancelled due to niggers.}}

[[File:Shiah God Shoah.gif|thumb|right]]

Notable events so far:

* Zeiger (no relations to our zaiger) from Daily Stormer shows up to advertise their site.
* A malnourished skinny and tall nigger flaunts a gun during the podcast.
* A troll shows up with a huge portrait of Pepe.
* Some dindu sprays the camera black.
* Two retards almost get shot.

===February 10, 2017: POOL'S CLOSED===

Shia and his group couldn't take the IRL trolling anymore. As was predicted, the HWNDU stream [http://pagesix.com/2017/02/10/museum-shuts-down-shia-labeoufs-anti-trump-exhibit/ didn't even last a month]. An official reason cited for the termination of the program was the propensity for violence (usually sparked and initiated by the "peaceful" left) and because they were tired of being trolled. The NYPD was happy that HWNDU was dead, because they were sick of having to patrol the (residential) area around the clock, and the local residents were pleased because the closure meant they didn't have to deal with people [http://gothamist.com/2017/02/19/shia_labeouf_moves_he_will_not_divi.php injecting marijuana and urinating on their property] anymore. Plus, Sam Hyde's deadly massacre alarmed locals and noo yoikers in general. [http://www.dailystormer.com/sad-day-he-will-not-divide-us-shut-down-because-the-goyim-know/]

=== He Will Not Divide Us Part II: Electric Boogaloo ===

Like Team Rocket, LaBeouf just won't fuck off when he gets pwn'd. A week after the pool was closed, Shia reopened the pool in Albuquerque, [[New Mexico]], in what looks like a ghetto. This has led to many kangs [[shameless self promotion|inviting the viewer to follow them]] on Twitter, Instagram and other Internet AIDS-infested sites.

<center>'''Be American, Get Shot'''</center>
<center><youtube>LWYvWcwbgWI</youtube></center>

<center><gallery>
file:hwndu albuquerque 1.png
file:hwndu albuquerque 2.png
File:Read The Daily Stormer.jpg|Zeiger was here
</gallery></center>

==March, 2017==
===March 9, 2017: He Will Not Divide Us 3: With a Vengeance===

[[File:HWNDU_vs_Kek.jpg|thumb|Status: DIVIDED]]
[[File:HWNDU captured flag.jpg|thumb|The prize]]

After being defeated everywhere else, Shia abandoned the participatory aspect of his project, and set up a "He Will Not Divide Us" flag in a field in an undisclosed location with nothing on camera but the flag and the sky, so as not to invite the mean trolls to fuck with it. Unfortunately for him, he was unfamiliar with the weaponized autism anons were capable of, and in just 24 hours anons on 8ch's /hwndu/ board managed to cross-reference flight-patterns of passing aircraft seen on the livestream, ambient noise from local wildlife and cars, and star maps, along with other autistic shit, in order to gain the exact location of Shia's gay little flag. Within two days, the flag was captured at Moon Creek Road in Greenville, Tennessee by an anon from 4chan's /pol/ who proudly displays it on his basement wall, having won the greatest game of Capture The Flag ever played.
<center><youtube>xN6tcAmBeBg</youtube></center>

<center><gallery>
File:hwndu_dronefag1.png|Operation Drone Strike [[fail|aborted]].
File:hwndu_dronefag2.jpg|A faggot dun goofed when telling on Shia just for a butthurt reaction.
File:hwndu_dronefag3.jpg|Shia taddle the [[police]] and threaten with a [[cease and desist]].
File:hwndu_dronefag4.png|And his C&D response? Praise [[kek]]! REEEEEEE!
File:hwndu_dronefaggif.gif|[[In a nutshell]].
</gallery></center>

===March 21-23, 2017: He Will Not Divide Us 4: United Kingdom Edition===
After being thoroughly humiliated in the United States, what was left of the project was moved to Liverpool, ironically divided from the artist by the Atlantic Ocean. By March 23, Anonymous [https://heatst.com/culture-wars/trolls-tear-down-he-will-not-divide-us-liverpool-flag-after-just-one-day/ captured the flag again], causing Shia to lose [[the game]] and what was left of his sanity.

<center><youtube>3aZuj_SDqDo</youtube></center>

==April, 2017==
===April 9, 2017: OMG Hacked!!1===
An evil patriot hacked the HWNDU site and replaced its divisive and hateful message with a message of love and unity:
{{quote|1=<nowiki>14/88

#JEWSWILLNOTDIVIDE.US

coming in 2018 by

Shia Labeouf</nowiki>|2=http://archive.is/QAwBp|3=The name of Shia's next shitty art project}}

===He Will Not Divide Us Season 5: #ALONETOGETHER===
On April 12, Shia allegedly hid in a Lapland cabin in a remote area in Finland and invited people to come to the Kiasma Museum in Helsinki where they could sit and communicate with Shia and his accomplices by text message. Naturally he stood up to those damned trolls who keep coming to his shitty art projects, which would otherwise be ignored if not for the relentless trolling campaign. LaBeouf, a notorious plagiarist, replied to one troll who wore a #MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN hat with an anti-racist screed shamelessly ganked from some furry on Twitter. At least he has internet up there in the Laplands.
<center>{{quote|1="shia labeouf steals my tweets about fascism within nerd spaces" sure is a hell of a thing to happen in 2017|2=[https://twitter.com/spacetwinks/status/852182514173173760 Spacetwinks]|3=who thinks tweets can be stolen}}</center>

===He Will Not Divide Us Season 6 ===

After a 7 year hiatus, a possible reboot is in works is it true??? Only time will tell

==Videos==
<center>{{frame|{{fv|europe|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<center>'''Weapons-grade autism at work'''</center><youtube>PeXEWsobJRE</youtube>
|<center>'''Season 2 Finale: The wall gets built'''</center><youtube>-ppDjbYk36k</youtube>
}}|border=lightgray|background=white}}</center>

==Gallery==
{{Collapsegallery|Gallery|cg1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TheBigKK.jpg|A disgruntled Nazi Fur's face after being cucked by Paper.
File:HWNDU season 3.png|The opening face of season 3 giving the viewers an introduction.
File:HWNDU_Pol.jpg
File:Shia-laboof-divided-mugshot.jpg|Shia divided from his tears.
File:Divided.jpg|Divided
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Paper.jpg|Who's going to pay the rent now?
File:Uncle Chang.png
File:HWNDU ratings.png|Producers were not pleased.
File:HWNDU Pol NAZI.jpg
File:HWNDU Pasta.png
File:Pol_gives_hwndu_credit.jpg
File:Flags Closed.jpg
File:HWNDU Butts.jpg
File:HWNDU Pol.png
File:Shia moon.jpg|4th time's a charm
</gallery>|border=black|color=white}}

==See also==
[[File:Shia labeef.gif|thumb|He sure divided those pussy lips.]]
*[[2016 Presidential Election|2016 presidential election]]
*[[Divide by zero]]
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[IRL Troll]]
*[[Pol/|/pol/]]

==External links==
* [http://www.hewillnotdivide.us/ Official Website] - '''LIVE''' Stream
* [http://wiki.suicide.cc/doku.php - /pol/'s HWNDU Wiki]
* [http://8ch.net/hwndu/index.html 8chan - HWNDU]
* [https://ghostbin.com/paste/88emz Stream Archives]
* Archives of past streams [https://mega.nz/#!UxslXRAK!IyBXGZavqySZu2k2LUuNxJNcQZgr17ZedRwKblFbcmw 1] [https://mega.nz/#F!1gMHiBpT!9bXF-MrOVI9Nb24OOkPtR 2]
* {{kym|memes/he-will-not-divide-us}} ''Know Your Meme'' - He Will Not Divide Us
* <s>{{twitter|HWNDUARCHIVE}} - Twitter account archiving lulzy events on the stream.</s> lol rip

===YouTube shit===

* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbSG0uQWDk The Greatest IRL Baneposting]
* [https://youtu.be/1Eh1FdN9RE0 Shia gets arrested]
* [https://youtu.be/kcysIeW4dIg Jackie4chan makes lefties slav squat]
* [https://youtu.be/EDG_r0nltko Chinese girl BTFO on immigration/white privilege]
* [https://youtu.be/CDOJd7vwFPA Singing happy birthday to Sam Hyde]
* [https://youtu.be/ysrxWDIi4I4 Bog anon BTFO liberals]
* [https://youtu.be/jNbKc_AzBbo Beta cuck spergs over his tendie]
* [https://youtu.be/I9XkcBPyipk Gooburger jams to Moonman]
* [https://youtu.be/MtrXXyTEU-w Goodburger jams to Shadilay]
* [https://youtu.be/Gbltiq8PDZI Goodburger jams to Johnny Rebel]
* [https://youtu.be/gNaPHTdHAS4 Albanian anon]
* [https://youtu.be/V5Zh84eOMy8 Shia attacks Mustache anon]
* [https://youtu.be/gROyMR8EAu4 Omar expects a BJ]
* [https://youtu.be/6wn_6588aAQ A day at the zoo]
* [https://youtu.be/EbzeZTW4GYE Tony at the Trump Rally]
* [https://youtu.be/uJcrXZoSl3E Shoutouts + Mustache anon]
* [https://youtu.be/_YGXwUc6aa0 Bag anon plays Shadilay]
* [https://youtu.be/4KZYqxHjwSQ Pepe next to Shia]
* [https://youtu.be/cZec9jXQcgs Adidas bro visits]
* [https://youtu.be/sB0SJOSUU2E Cutie kisses camera]
* [https://youtu.be/udCPuGBcgWE Skimask anon leaves mp3s]
* [https://youtu.be/bxmcHh5_NJw Skimask anon + morning after]
* [https://youtu.be/ZJZY3W2FQLM Friendly anon shoutout]
* [https://youtu.be/K0DpzbrX8CM Pepe on phone]
* [https://youtu.be/hE_NY0oEGzc Shia's trigger reel]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8DKhSwzuHE Jackie gets beheaded by ISIS]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flDc9cB6adY /CHEEKIBREEKI/]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJaHUgluvgI /ourguys/ celebrating a job well done]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTO_vJoIzVU Slavanon with an important message]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnSPvdl0u0 Clinton redpill dropped on stream]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2YpWsKg4cE /leftypol/ doesn't fag it up for once]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxoDyKYKUKY Moonman to the rescue]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71vBGkAlyyo Poetanon who was assaulted by Shia reads a poem]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VIrTGoH2mE Blart tells truth about assault]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2nFycmT3o8 Shia v /pol/Blart full confrontation]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5oVGQe8Opw Betacuckanon REEEEE's cuck into mental breakdown]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRRMFMVIoVc Uncle Tony and Old School Astoria tear the house down with great rant]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wn_6588aAQ]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbzeZTW4GYE]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSgtGU968cI Based Polish speech]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcBqPoXOBFA /pol/blart's farewell speech]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdjEdxRbJ20 Anime opening]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4erfA6uGH9Q Jesus sings Snake Eater]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoNR4gRYPds Stolen Valor snaps]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qor4iM8r1Mo /ourgirl/]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTF8I9VQ5cc Milkman BTFO Paper]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7XNTD68qG8 /pol/blart and Paper talk it out]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLC_XKvjq2w Bjorn at Gavin protest starting 14:10]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4Z04UQ2jWg pubechin fag actor]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YNeMpoVcUc Crowder joins HWNDU]

===8chan /pol/ threads===

[[He Will Not Divide Us/POL|Click here]] for an index listing hundreds of threads with countless pockets of information.

{{Trolls}}
{{Social Media}}
{{epic}}
{{Trump}}
{{8chan}}
{{timeline|Featured article February 4 & 5, [[2017]]|[[Alexandre Bissonnette]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Rome Viharo]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 12 & 13, [[2017]]|[[ADoseOfBuckley]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Elizabeth Minami Wyvill]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 16, [[2017]]|[[Shoe0nHead]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Battle of Berkeley]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now July 28 & July 29, [[2024]]|[[Kamala Harris (prostitute)]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Mötley Crüe]]}}

[[Category:2017]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

Mötley Crüe

2024-08-15T22:32:09Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[Image:MotleyCrueNotGay.jpg|right|thumb|Typical Mőtley Crűe practice session. Totally not gay..]]

==Teh Band==
[[File:MotleyCrueStar.jpg|thumb|left|175px|Lol Satan.]]
'''Mötley Crüe''' are shitty band of dirty Jewboy Americunts. Shitty people playing shitty semi-satanic music for even shittier kids to listen to while doing shitty drugs. When they're not playing thier god awful music they're usually addicted to [[heroin]], porn, [[in the kitchen|domestic violence]], and vehicular homicide. They appeal to pansy edgelord kids because "herr durr they is into like Satan and drugs and stuff". Women's clothing, makeup, hairspray, and semen help make up the band's trademark look: That of a quartet of cross-dressing kids with an eating disorder. The last time we saw a group of pussies of this caliber was during the French surrender during World War II. <s>On the bright side, they don't have any niggers.</s> Tommy Lee became a [[nigger|rapper]].

==Members==

[[File:Vince-NeilFat.jpg|thumb|right|175px|Is he singing or is he having a stroke?]]
[[File:De-tomaso-pantera-vince-neil-.jpg|thumb|left|175px|Sign up for the Vince Neil Driver's Ed Course. Results above.]]
=== Vince "I'm OK to drive" Neil ===
Vince Neil (Powerword: Vincent Neil Wharton) is the band's singer. Also known as "fatass", He's your typical blonde-haired, lipstick-wearing, Glam-Rock, Hair band faggot who sings like an epileptic chicken with its nutsack on fire. His looks were a cross between a bulimic Axl Rose and Axl Rose's lesbian sister, who also happens to be bulimic. As the years have gotten the best of him, he now looks like the human personification of too many Denny's Grand Slam Breakfasts. I guess that's what happens when you quit the [[cocaine|yayo]] diet. Known largely for killing his friend by driving like the drunken, drug addled dipshit he is, somehow between Vince, a real musican, and a cool car, he was the only one to survive. Neil, taking a play out of Tommy "Wifebeater" Lee's book, has been charged with various forms of battery several times, at times one of his 4 ex-wives. He was temporarily replaced by John Corabi giving the band it's only chance to make any good music, but lo and behold the band took him back. Also had a kid that died, lol.

[[File:NikkiSixxOld.jpg|thumb|left|175px|Nikki Sixx, also known as Johnny Depp.]]

=== Nikki "Got some H?" Sixx ===
Nikki Sixx, (Powerword: Frank Feranna Jr.) is the band's Bass player and token [[emo]]. He never really learned to play any instrument so like most bass players, he is totally fucking useless. He is known for terrible music, even worse songwriting, and several unfortunate recoveries from heroin overdoses. Like Vince, he too has given a just and caring god ample opportunity to snuff him out, but apparently god is neither. Instead the world has been forced to endure decades of the band's antics, music, and soaking up of the drugs the public needs in order to handle said antics and music. Seems that for some, all that Satan-worshipping really paid off.

[[File:MickMarsDeadInside.jpg|thumb|right|175px|Mick Mars after having his soul eaten, probably by that fat fuck Vince]]

=== Mick "I'm too old for this shit" Mars ===
Mick Mars, (Powerword: Robert Alan Deal) is the band's lead guitarist. The only member with even a modicum of musical talent, why his old ass is hanging around with these retards is anyone's guess. Also the only member of the band that doesn't have a extensive arrest record, his having black hair, tattoos, and an abundance of [[ugly]] are the only things that make him fit in. Despite being horribly disabled he has been romantically linked to some hot chicks, further proving supernatural meddling in everyday life.

[[File:TommyLeeDisco.jpg|thumb|right|175px|Not rapey at all.]]

=== Tommy "Wifebeater" Lee ===
Tommy Lee is the band's drummer. He is known for playing his drums upside-down, weighing less than one of the Olsen twins when they were 12, and beating women. Despite the fact he looks like an evil gameshow host, he has been romantically linked to several [[cumdumpster| women]] who Ediots would likely fap to, once again proving women are [[dumb]] and Ediots are desperate. When he isn't using his baby-momma as a punching bag, he spends his time being a [[aids|disease]] ridden, bulimic junky. He is also known for making Pr0n with a sperm-sponge known as [[whore|Pamela Anderson]] and having sex with a boat. Both Pamela and the boat contrcted Hepatitus from said encounter. Ain't love grand?

[[File:Corabi.jpg|thumb|left|175px|Generic image.]]

=== John "Nothing to see here, please move along" Corabi ===
John Corabi, What can be said abount him? Nothing, just nothing. Spending four years with the band and not contributing a single useful thing is the totality of his legacy. There has never been a person with such an identity crisis, he has posed as so many other singers and completely missed the mark every time. If you described what traits the singer of a shitty hair-metal band should have to your grandma, John Corabi is exactly what she would think of. He doesn't even have enough of a presence for people to hate.

== "Musical Style" ==
Their style is 5% heavy Metal, 5% Satanic droning, and the rest a cacophony of shit and fail. Amazing basslines, rythmic percussion, harmonic guitar riffs, they have none of those, relying solely on Vince Neil's cat-torturing vocals to drown the rest of it out. If AIDS and Cancer had an illegitimate crackbaby, it's cries would immediately be recorded so Nikki Sixx could start on the lyrics to accompany it on a slow, arduous trip to the lower levels of purgatory. Unfortunately the band would likely not follow it's lead. The following is a list of things they like to "sing" about:

*Drugs
*Satan
*Drugs
*[[whores|Wyminz]]
*Love
*Drugs
*More Satan
*Murder
*Rainbows
*Drugs

== Albums ==
*Too Fast for Love: Emo love songs and hate.
*Shout at the Devil: 23% MORE EMO, also a bunch of Satanic shit.
*Theater of Pain: It's flagship song was someone else's.
*Girls, Girls, Girls: Yep, that's what they're trying to be. Also, notice they didn't name the album "Women, Women, Women". Pedobear approves.
*Dr. Feelgood: The band is supposedly sober during this time, it didn't help them.
*Mötley Crüe: They fired Vince, made this turd, then begged him to come back.
Nothing further worth noting.

== Typical Mötley Crüe Faggotry ==
Noted as "The world's most notorious band", they have inflicted their [[shit|"music"]] upon an unsuspecting world for several decades. Their normal routine is make shitty music, tour playing shitty music, do drugs by the truckload and somehow survive, beat women, piss off everyone outside [[America]], rinse, repeat. No four people have contributed more reasons for the civilized world to hate America, Americans, and everything American than these four idiots (five if you include Corabi).

==Fans==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|center]]

==Ways to piss off the Mötley Crüe [[fandom]]==

*Tell them Axl Rose could kick Vince Neil's ass.
*Tell them Axl Rose DID in fact kick Vince Neil's ass.
*Tell them you don't like the way those chicks dress.
*Spell the band's name Motly Crew.
*Continuously mistake them for the band Poison.
*Tell them how Vince should still be in prison and he didn't get nearly enough time.
*Tell them the band's best work was with John Corabi.
*Say things like "Anyone can play the drums upside-down, but can Tommy Lee refrain from beating his women?"
*Tell them Home Sweet Home is the theme song for an all-gay prom.
*Argue that Nikki Sixx used to be in The Village People.
*Ask when they're going to play "Karma Chameleon".
*Ask how Tommy Lee's T-cell count is doing.
*Point at a picture of Mick Mars and ask if it is his funeral photo.
*Say they stole their style from Slayer.
*Ask them which one wrote "Smokin' in the Boys Room".
*Compare them to drag queens or cross dressing transvestites.
*Call them semen chugging Glam-Rock Faggots.
*Play super dumb and mistake them for KISS.
*Say that they look like a bunch of butt pirates.
*Say that they copied WASP.
*Mistake them for WASP.
*Mistake Mick Mars for Blackie Lawless and then when corrected say they look like they were seperated at birth.
*Laugh at their spandex and call it "Gimpy".
*Attend their gigs and tell them to "Play some Skynyrd, man" bonus points if you can get the definitely wasted white trash crowd singing [[Alabama|Sweet Home Alabama]].
*Call them Gay Area [[Los Angeles|L.A]] [[Poser|Posers]].
*Refer to them as Nick Mars and Micky Sixx.
*Call anyone who listens to them a Poser and explain to them that the vocalist sounds like an obnoxious buttbender.
*Mistake them for [[Trannies|Twisted Sister]].
*Mistake them for Alvin and the Chipmunks.

== Music ==
{{center|<youtube>TxvSQCps0pI</youtube>}}
{{center|<youtube>LHEQ2pYsSqY</youtube>}}

== Gallery ==
{{cg|'''Mötley Crüe Gallery'''|mcgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:MotleyCrueShout.jpg|These chicks are flat.
Image:MotleyCrueSpandex.jpg|Spandex almost hides the mileage on Nikki's [[vagina]].
Image:MotleyCrueOld.jpg|Fat, Stoned, Dead, and Stupid. In that order.
Image:MotleyCrueEfeminate.jpg|Look how tough they are.
Image:PoisonBand.jpg|Here they have 3 Vince Neils.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:TommyLeeCourt.jpg|Tommy Lee in her natural environment.
Image:NikkiSixxDoIt.jpg| DO IT FAGGOT!
Image:NikkiSixxClone.jpg|Sixx showing his (lack of) skillz.
Image:MickMarsHat.jpg|He stole the hat from Slash after a night of man-on-man action.
Image:MotleyCrueCrash.jpg|Wrong fgt died.
Image:MotleyCrueTransitioned.jpg|Motley Crue, Post-op.
Image:MotleyCrueFans.jpg|Their fans line up for a little sex and violence.
Image:TommyLeePunchingBags.jpg|One autograph = four black eyes.
Image:CorabiSixx.jpg|Corabi tries to be like Nikki Sixx.
Image:CorabiRose.jpg|Corabi looks like Axel Rose here, minus the ability to kick Vince's ass.
Image:CorabiZombie2.jpg|Here he tries to look like Rob Zombie, doesn't have the gay factor exact, but an OK try.
Image:CorabiTyler.jpg|He's even trying to look like the chick who sings for arrowsmith.
Image:CorabiNelson.jpg|Willie Nelson does NOT approve of Corabi's bullshit.
Image:Keestahmahar.jpg|The Fattening.
Image:Krill.jpg|This is what the band snorts up their nose-holes for fun.
</gallery>|}}

== See Also ==

* [[AC/DC]]

* [[Devil]]

* [[Guitar]]

* [[Heroin]]

* [[Heavy Metal]]

* [[Jew]]s: They own the music biz

* [[KISS]]: At least the Crüe's faggotry level is under Kiss'

* [[Music]]

== External Links ==

* [https://www.loudersound.com/features/the-car-crash-that-killed-hanoi-rocks-razzle-vince-neil-never-apologised Vince Neil's "Accident" that killed Razzle]

* [https://www.azcentral.com/story/entertainment/people/2015/11/24/pamela-anderson-tommy-lee-hepatitis-c-free/76305572/ Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson cured of Hepatitis]

* [https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/motley-crue-mick-mars-lawsuit-battle-1234947725/ Mötley Crüe lose batlle in war with Mick Mars]]

{{Music}}
[[Category:Music]]

{{timeline|Article of the Now July 30 & July 31, [[2024]]|[[He Will Not Divide Us]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Weeaboo]]}}

Wapanese

2024-08-15T22:31:49Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{Achtung|ATTENTION ALL NEWFAGS WHO DISCOVERED 4CHAN IN 2011 OR LATER: THE CORRECT SPELLING IS "WEEABOO", NOT "WEABO" OR ANY SIMILAR VARIANT [http://www.pbfcomics.com/71/ (SOURCE)]}}

[[File:Did-someone-say-weeaboo-bat-meme-original.png|thumb|300px|The Original]]

{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Kirsten Dunst being a weeaboo while singing a song about nutting'''</big></center> 
<center><youtube>C0X3CLJVMJU</youtube></center>
 
{{quote|For being a video glorifying weaboos, this video is sadly lacking in panty shots|An observation}}
|}

[[File:Weaboos_anime.jpg|thumb|300px|[http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2011/01/12/seiyuu-to-otaku-have-you-losers-ever-had-a-date/ How Japan views Weeaboos]: startlingly accurate.]]
[[File:Kawaiiguy.jpg|thumb|OMGKAWAIIDESUDESU]]

[[File:Westaboo.jpg|thumb]]

The '''Wapanese''' (親日, ウィーアブー, also referred to as "[[Pedophiles|Japanophiles]]," "weeaboo" (or "weeb"), "fucking idiots," or "[[you]]") are, much like [[wigger]]s, [[pain]]fully clueless [[White people|honkies]] (and increasingly [[negro]]s) [[trying too hard|trying]] to fill a perceived cultural void by pretending not to be white (or a [[nigger]])—in this case, trying to be yellow by humping the giant Godzilla leg of the [[Japan|Land of the Rising Shit]] in hopes of being assimilated into its [[culture]].

To put it simply, a [[Faggot|weeb]] is any [[Aimee Major Steinberger|non-Japanese]] who has any interest in anything Japan related that would be somewhat comparable to occult worship, along with attempting to be an actual Jap, where it always ends up with said weeb failing hard as they cannot realize that one cannot really learn about Japan through viewing anime. They generally have a serious case of [[Yellow Fever]] and worship [[J-pop|Ayumi Hamasaki]] among other [[lie|famous]] [[J-pop]] artists, along with eating [[pocky]] as if it's their staple diet. So badly do the Wapanese wish this that they often dedicate entire afternoons to memorizing ''up to five common phrases'' in [[Language|Japanese]], though later misusing them at the [[food]] court or at [[animu]] conventions. This, of course, only serves to further illustrate what flesh-bags of [[fail]] these [[basement dweller]]s really are.

Just as Jews are responsible for [[Christians]] and [[Muslims]], Wapanese are responsible for [[bronies]] and [[social justice]] warriors. In fact, several SJWs started off as pocky-eating Japan-worshiping weebs, guilty of their own [[white]] culture. This is just another reason to hate these cretins.

If you happen to see a Wap on the prowl, make no attempt to engage it in conversation, you will hear such great amounts of bullshittery that you cannot help but mercilessly rip the bastard apart. But instead, curse it in silence, for it is the bane of [[Americunts|American]] youth. Well, next to [[furry|another "subculture" you're hopefully not aware of, which more than deserves the same treatment]]. But that's another story.

Because the lifespan of these fucking dingalings only last until the end of high school for half of them, most will grow up cynical and shameful, turning to the next [[Korea|cultural trend]] used for the boosting of their egos. The other half will end in one of three ways:
# Dying alone as an elderly virgin surrounded by small plastic figurines that cost hundreds of dollars each along with $40 imported CDs by obscure [[Portal:Music|Japanese bands]] no one else has ever heard of nor will admit to liking except them.
# Being raped to death in prison (oh, [[teh]] [[irony]]!)
# Committing [[Suicide|IRL self-pwnage]] after arriving in Japan and discovering that it's not full of enormously-breasted women who want to sleep with pasty, fat Caucasian lardballs. Their [[NOVA|last words]] are usually "''[[Megatokyo]]'' lied to me..."

==Weeaboo Behavior==
[[File:Threeeyesbyimobsessed31copy.png|right|thumb|200px|Typical wapanese fan art, [[Not gay|notice the hot Naruto action going on.]]]]
[[File:Japanisbestasian!!!111!!.png|thumb|200px|Your typical weeaboo. Notice the hatred of Korea.]]
[[File:Cosplayingexpertatthebest.jpg|thumb|right|Rare specimen of a [[nigger]] weeaboo]]
{{squote|Im looking for a bento (that's japanese for lunch) box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi(small) sized. And has to be really [[kawaii]] (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make sure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in [[japan]]. and not in [[china]] or corea ([[korea]]) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)
|[[You]]}}

[[File:Weeaboo_edits_eyes.jpg|thumb|Serious [[Adobe® Photoshop®|shopping]] to appear of the [[Asia]]n persuasion.]]
[[File:Wapanesewetdream.jpg|thumb|What every Wapaneses ends up dating]]
The average Wapanese will whine non-stop about how anyone who professes an interest in Japanese "culture" is merely a [[poser]] when compared to themselves. They will then play their favorite overpriced "Visual Kei" CD and attempt (badly) to mouth the lyrics while crunching loudly on the last few sticks of Pocky they ordered from J-List.

Weeaboos are known to constantly complain about the country in which they live in comparison to Japan. However, any one of these Wapanese living in Japan will last about two weeks before returning home, realizing that the great [[Kurt Cobain|Hide Matsumoto]] is dead and no self-respecting [[Japanese]] will [[Secks|make sexy time]] with them. This is because the [[retard]]s are blind of the fact that thinking they can be Japanese by "acting" like a Japanese person is [[Offended|racially insensitive]], and they learned what little Japanese culture they know purely from [[fap]]ping to [[animu]] they saw on [[Adult Swim]]. Thus why it is usually looked up upon, as good practice, to strangle weeaboos in their own bathrooms facing the sink mirror!

Nearly all of them are [[jailbait]] and tend to be [[bisexual]] or [[gay]] from looking at too many pretty Japanese manboys in dresses. None the less, it doesn't matter because they're all virgins. All of them have or want a tattoo in Han characters (Kanji), either "hope" (望), "prosperity" (盛) or something equally gay (同性愛) and a [[deviantART]] account filled with shitty anime drawings of [[catgirl]]s and lots of [[emo]] [[poetry]].

As most Wapanese are unable to get to [[Japan]],they instead attend anime conventions claiming they are there [[lies|just to check out the J-bands]] or [[truth|talk about anime]], even though their music interests (usually [[J-Pop]] or [[J-Rock]]) change weekly and the only anime they have ever seen was on [[Adult Swim]].

Many Wapanese dress in [[crap|Decora]], [[EGL]], [[Loli]]ta, or any annoying fashion that the Japanese use to lure in whitey's beaucoup bucks. Most of them squint their round eyes, wear wigs that are normally in a ridiculous color (such as bright blue, pink... etc.) or it simply looks retarded on anything human, and photoshop their skin tone to make them appear more Azn in their pictures which normally results in them looking ten times more horrid than when they started. [[Caramelldansen]] is the theme song for all Wapanese, as the vast majority of them are too stupid and suck at Japanese too much to realize that it is actually [[Swedish]]. The two languages sound nothing alike but this doesn't stop them from (badly) singing along during every one of their [[masturbation]] sessions thinking its Japanese.

While most Wapanese maintain they will only settle for a genuine Japanese{{tm}} girlfriend or boyfriend, most invariably end up settling for another Wapanese. The pair will go about collecting their meaningless Japanese trinkets together, endlessly watching [[Bleach]], [[Death Note]], and [[Naruto]] and making statements like, "It's kawaii how L-chan looks like a chibi panda, [[desu]] yo ne!?"

Every once in a while, a lucky Wapanese will manage to find the [[Azn]] in self-denial, such as AtJap13, Kazakai, etc, a slope who tends to have been born in the U.S. or some non-East Asian country and suffers from low self-esteem or [[Asperger's syndrome|Ass Burger Syndrome]]. This matters little to the Wapanese, who is just happy to have scored some Asian [[poontang]]. Or many will end up as basement dwelling permavirgins such as the [[Spoony|SpoonyOne]].

Most weeaboos will go onto every new official English dub video that is posted on YouTube and complain about how the English language sucks in comparison to the beautiful Nippon. ^______^ If that's not a sign of a weeb, then I don't know what is.

=== Japan's Atrocities ===

[[File:Nanking massacre 123.jpg|thumb|right|250px|An Honorable, Jap Soldier shows off his warrior pride and adherence to the Bushido code by killing an unarmed civilian]]

[[File:Jap murderer 123.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Small dicked Nip soldier sticking it to a Philipine Soldier]]

Like most [[Weeaboo]]s, you have been brainwashed through the propaganda machines of [[animu]], manga and Tv into thinking that [[Japan]] is incapable of doing anything wrong and [[you]] refuse to be swayed by arguments that your [[Azn|Yellow Masters]] haven't endorsed because they might cut you off from that sweet, sweet [[Sailor Moon]] [[Hentai]] that [[you]] most likely just finished polishing your [[penis|knob]] to and are only reading this because you need a break before you're ready to go for another round. 

As can be expected from all [[leftard|left leaning]], Junior High School liberals that take their cues from poorly Xeroxed copies of their civics teacher's personal communist manifesto, all of Japan's atrocities and War Crimes were completely reactionary and if it weren't for the [[evil]] empire-building of white countries like [[England]], [[France]] and [[America]], the war in the Pacific wouldn't have escalated like it did with Japanese soldiers murdering women, cutting little girls in half from [[vagina|cunt]] collar after having to endure a gang rape from 20 tiny dicked Japanese soldiers or just killing people for [[lulz|shits and giggles]].

What it comes down to, for weeaboos, is nothing but excuses as to why [[Japan]]🇯🇵 should always be blameless when it comes to the millions of innocent civilians murdered by the Empire driven, expansionist policies of the Meiji Restoration when they can keep following their idiot's form of using [[Germany]] and its Third Reich as their go=to example of what evil is. For people who blindly quote their Anime heroes by saying that evil should always be exposed to the light of day, these [[retard|champions of reason]] continually neglect to include their favored country of Japan because it keeps them well supplied with their much needed [[Masturbation|masturbation fodder]] of infant children taking a 10 inch cocks fresh from their Mother's [[vagina|clown hole]]. 

The favored form of trying to exonerate Japan from their war crimes is for these mooks to claim that [[Americunt]]s nuked these poor tojo bastards unfairly when they were already beaten forgetting that it was Japan's Warrior culture- that they worship so much- that led to countless millions being executed by the favored, weeaboo society of the Samurai simply because the Nips saw them as being inferior. 

Weeaboos live by and are constantly regurgitating these inane ideals of theirs about how honorable the Japanese are and killing the innocent, weak or unarmed is in contradiction to their warrior way despite literal millions of witnesses speaking the contrary. 

===Identifying someone as Wapanese===
There are many telltale signs of Wapanese, the biggest being that they will refer to one another as [[otaku]] (which they would not if they had any grasp on the word's meaning) and employ their distinctive dialect and appearance discussed above. Other warning signs include but are not limited to:

[[Image:Typical_fat_wapanese.jpg|thumb|150px|This is "[[A Cat Is Fine Too|honto kawaii neko chan]]"]]

<div style="height:200px; overflow:scroll; background-color:#eee;">
* Using the phrases they [[Kingdom Hearts|heard in an anime or video game from "Japan"]] or talking about [[animu|Japan]] IN EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE!
* Broken Japanese interspersed in conversation. A prime example would be [[Bradleh Daw Gaim]].
:* Claims to be "[[engrish|studying Japanese]]" or to have an interest in "[[Oxymoron|Japanese culture]]"
* Leeching off the [[history]] of Japan but ignoring any part that "looks bad" on Japan.
:* Ignores the fact the Allied Powers won [[World War II]] for a reason. (For fun, bring up the nuclear blast in conversation should it get too boring. For even more [[lulz]], mention the Rape of Nanking, the Bataan Death March, and the sadistic experiments carried out on humans at Unit 731 and watch them deny it like Ahmedinejad does the [[Holocaust]].)
:* Stubbornly defending Japan's long history of [[IRL]] [[banhammer]]ing [[China|other]] [[Korea|races]]. Also tending to have racist and nationalistic prejudice against any other Asian country that isn't Japan, common targets being [[China]], [[Best Korea]], and [[Good Korea]] and probably thinking nationalist groups like the uyoku dantai are "tottemo sugoi desu!" (However in reality, the uyoku dantai will want to lynch them because they are not Japanese, and they are such a disgrace to their magnificent culture.)
* Being culture parasites, that is, having a pathological interest in "[[animu|Japanese culture]]"
:* For potential lulz, mention that Japanese culture has essentially been a [[Plagiarism|ripoff]] of American culture ever since WWII (no srsly, everyone there under the age of 60 is basically a reverse weeaboo).
:* Taking up [[fail|Zen Buddhism]] or some other "Japanese" religious tradition, even if not actually a Japanese religion.
:* Ignoring facts such as: [http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2011/01/13/third-of-young-japanese-men-hate-sex/ 1/3 of Japanese men hate sex] and that [http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2011/01/12/seiyuu-to-otaku-have-you-losers-ever-had-a-date/ voice actors are sick of their shit].
* Trying to look Japanese and failing by...
:* [[Internet tough guy|Collecting "samurai" swords (usually manufactured in China) and posing in photos with them.]]
:* Hanging out with Asians or in Asian-looking locations wherever possible
:* Wanting to take in the local Asian culture festival every spring, no matter how viciously dull it is.
:* Insisting on using chopsticks to consume everything from hamburgers to pizza to YOUR FAVORITE, CHEEKON ANDA WAFFURU.
:* Listening to shitty [[J-Rock]] [[Music|bands]] [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody has ever heard of]] and believing that every [[male]] in Japan™ is a [[Dickgirl|hermaphroditic]] [[transvestite]].
* Listening to Vocaloid or other J-Pop like Kyary and believes that the majority of people in Japan actually listen to these types of music, or is actually good or inspiring music. (true fact: no one in Japan likes this type of music)
* INSISTING on watching their [[anime]] in Japanese with subtitles, because unlike you, they can "understand it" and can't stand dubbed voices ([[Baka|Because only BAKA GAIJIN POSERS watch things in English]]!) Claims they find "[[Harem Animu]]" funny.
* Has at least one account on [[Gaia Online]] or any other dumb fucking Asian-themed site like Crunchyroll, a JewTube [[wannabe]] site infested with Japanophiles and/or [[Koreaboo|Koreanophiles]].
:*Bonus points: Username and/or [[99.9%]] of their [[friends list]]'s names ending in "u", "i" or "-chan" or are a butchering of the name of some J-Idol or Azn Bandguy they want to screw.
* Their life dream is not only to go to Japan{{tm}}, but also to break into the [[anime]], [[manga]] or [[video game]] industry.
:* Shitting themselves whenever someone around them speaks actual Japanese. Double points if the person speaking actual Japanese is white; triple points if black person.
:* Working in a high school in Japan as an ALT (assistant language teacher) and thinks the Japanese staff working there actually give a single fuck about them.
* Being friends with the [[King of the Weeaboos]]
</div>

[[TL;DR]]: [[Animu|JAPAN]] GOOD, everything else = SHIT!

In photographs, a wapanese will always be [[fat]] and [[ugly]], always make the peace/victory sign with one hand while squinting and contorting their already grotesque facial features into a more grotesque approximation of the ^_^ [[smiley]]. [[Female]]s have a compulsive need to wear at least one item of [[Hello Kitty|Sanrio]] clothing at all times, and truly desperate Wapanese will wear a shitload of eyeliner to make their eyes appear [[Azn|chinkier]], that or put scotch tape on the sides of their eyes to pull their eyelids tighter.

===How to Troll===
* '''Go to an anime forum.''' Make sure you search "Should we have dropped the Atom Bomb anime forum". If you don't see a site where you know anime is the central topic, go there Nao! Make a forum about the topic and then point out to any opposers the crimes the Japanese committed and the videos of the citizens committing suicide on YouTube.
*'''Say "anime sucks!"''' and use a better show to compare a highly popular anime show. You could use shows like Wallace and Grommit/Robot Jones/early SpongeBob and other great western anime to show em'. Protip: Poopy, crudely-animated 2010's animu like [[Wut|Adventure Time]] or [[Drug|the Amazing World of]] [[cat|Gumball]] is perfect because it's everything anime isn't. <s>Which is actually "being funny."</s> (Disregard that, neither of the aforementioned shows are funny.)
*'''Force weeaboos to watch videos about weeaboos''' and neckbeards, like "Deibiddo Kun LOVES Japan".
*Point out that '''Japanese kids LOVE America''', and think that Yank Animation, Yank Music, Yank Food, God and Yank Religion (see Superbook, Japanese-dubbed American Christian Cartoons, and The Flying House) is all vastly superior to their own. Using the children of the object of their obsession against them is the ultimate attack.
* If a [[feminazi|female weeaboo]] leftard says she hates America, link articles and videos to the Rape Club and then point out that [[Fact|Japan believes Men come first.]] And that her liberal, pocky-pooping cherry-butt would be better off staying in the states.
- If she says she doesn't care, show her videos of Japan's extremely inhumane historical actions, like Unit 731. If she says she just wants to, then call her a no life weeaboo that Japan wouldn't tolerate, throwing her into a Japanese retard clinic.
* Say that Popee-style thigh-high socks are overrated. This is one of the few things they actually have in common with the Japs, they both are over-obsessive with this crap that they'll both wear waterproof thigh-high socks in the shower and while swimming.
* The only other way they're like the Japanese is that they're also very butthurt about MMD stuff being distributed and shared. So share passwords, share files, share videos, and especially share nude models and MMD porn.
* If a Man says or acts like a weeaboo, ask him why. He'll probably claim Japan is better because [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|Women are nicer, more beautiful, and people aren't mean]]. Point out that Asian girls are considered a fetish and generally act weird.
* Remind them that before Macarthur (an American) took over, post-war Japan was a complete shithole.
- If he disagrees then point out that Japanese men prefer American women, just look at the polls and the anime. Many anime characters don't even have Japanese features and even real life Japanese bitches dye their hair and wear contacts to change their eye color.
-If he disagrees and says he still likes Japanese girls. Point out that they want somebody who's cool. Usually a strong white guy, or a thuggy black guy. If you are neither than you'll have a harder time. Usually this is true, because most anime fan-males are goths.
-If he says you're spamming, call him a hopeless weeaboo who will die alone in ALL CAPS, expect [[RAGE]]!
-There is no?????? Just PROFIT!
*Go to [[4chan]] and talk shit about them all being [[Truth|basement dwellers and weeaboos]]. It gets lulzly.
*Tell them anime sucks. The [[butthurt]] will flow through them.

===Variant Strains===
[[File:Vivi udoli blasian.png|thumb|Half-breed Monkey/[[Nigger]] trying to be a [[Japan|Jap]] trying to be a [[cracker|White]], OH GOD [[Kill it with fire|KILL IT WITH FIRE]] ]]
The''' Wapanese in Denial''' can be found religiously on [[4chan]], [[Gaia Online]] and other shitty sites that are either Japanese-looking or [[2chan|Japanese Knockoffs]]. They attempt to counteract any identification as Wapanese, but fail as they have any/all of the normal wapanese traits. They throw fits when confronted on being a Wapanese/Japanophile and will claim not to care if they'd be put up on this site, but still [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|secretly remove as much proof of being Wapanese as they can]].

'''Blasians''' (aka the Nighongo or Chinegro) are basically where niggers and W.A.S.P.s intersect. Although more tolerable than [[ghetto]] [[niggers]], they are one of the worst cases of [[fail]] ever. This is what happens when you leave your jigs unattended. Somebody [[Doing it wrong|direct these confused people]] to some [[Worldstar_Hiphop|Worldstar Hiphop]] videos and a local [[KFC]], or at least slap the bitch until they realize they aren't Asian.

Here is an example of what your average [[nigger|azn]] does in it's spare time. We will kindly thank Aaron Abdullah for his contribution to studying this particular race of weaboos.

====The Opposite side of the retard spectrum, but still fucking retarded====

We at ED have provided glorious examples of the fucktardery that is the Weeaboo fandom at its most lulzy and worst, providing you something you can look at whilest jerking off to your self satisfaction of you supposedly being less retarded than those depicted in ways which aren't yet known by us.
[[File:Faggottumblrguy.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Lord, look at those tags. Well at least you're being honest.]]
But we've also come to a major discovery in the last few years, and apparently some of our best have discovered that there is more to the weeabbo infestation than just [[Magibon|camera whores]], [[Snapesnogger|gay orgy fanfiction writers]], [[Firedarkdragon|piles of emotional messes]], [[Superdemon-Inuyasha|hilarious hacks of artists]], [[Reyvataeil|Animu Forum faggots]], [[DivineAngel|crys of self denial and pain]], and [[Arudou Debito|even greater jokes of gaijin fucks jacking off abroad]], there exists an ever greater territory of the retard spectrum of weeabo faggotry.

They are known as '''Hypocrite Weeaboos''' or at their most lulziest, '''Reject Weeaboos'''.

[[File:hamlet_yaoicon.png|200px|thumb|right|The [[yaoi]] world's most famous raging weeb-in-denial, [[HamletMachine]].]]
[[File:Imaginary women.jpg|thumb|right|When [[Cosplayers]] call you out, you have a problem.]]Also known as anime elitists, Japanese (insert popular culture subject here) Culture experts, self entitled "Not Weeaboos" or "Actual Anime Fans", Japanese (insert popular culture subject here) Culture Buffs, "Not A Pussy Nerd" Anime Fans, and/or even "Anti Moe likers", these Weeaboos are the opposite end of the spectrum of weeabbo fucktardery.

A '''[[hypocrite]] Wapanese''' is almost identical to the [[Valerie (Pai)|Wapanese in denial]], though the hypocrite version tends to be more annoying. These tossers mince about claiming they hate Wapanese, but cream their fundoshi when [[NOVA|they get the opportunity to go to Japan]].

A Hypocrite Wapanese who has attended college, believing himself to be [[retard|intellectual]], becomes a '''Reject Wapanese'''. The Reject Wapanese is fed up with and "rejects" the "main stream" of current anime, such as [[Naruto]], anything currently playing on [[Adult Swim]], and anything related to [[Moe]] is the cancer of all animu. Instead, the Reject Wapanese goes back to the [[bullshit|early manga]] of the 1960's and 70's such as work by [[crap|Osamu Tezuka and Leiji Matsumoto]]. They will also be the biggest fucking prudes and [[Unwarranted Self Importance|elitist fucks]] you will ever meet, and will possibly make actual weeaboos more tolerable in comparison. Don't believe us? Check [[Colony drop|here]] and [http://evilneps.livejournal.com/profile here].

Protip: [[truth|Tell him everything Tezuka has ever done, especially Astro Boy, sucked]] then make fun of his B.A. in [[shit nobody cares about|Philosophy and Literary Theory]]. Be sure to mention his [[unemployed|inability to get a job]] and ask him if anyone other than other rejects at conventions can even understand him, or if anyone likes him at conventions for being the self-absorbed, petty and insular fuck he is.

While they put on an air that they are "normal" or "sane", their true forms come out when they furiously masturbate to their computer screens. They themselves hold a great amount of complete self entitlement and unwarranted self importance, thinking that because of their "college level education", "high wit and charm", and "internetz smarts", makes them greater, better, intellectual weeaboos than the "lowly slime" on the other side of the spectrum, but are just as fucking unwise, full of shit and having no brains like their much loathed opposites, because what both have in common is the fucktarded, self indulgent masturbation because they believe whatever "mysterious, exotic" bullshit they place on a top pedestal is "so deep and insightful", but is nothing more but the same reason as their brainfucked counterparts have: fill a perceived cultural void by pretending not to be white.

They may type out full sentences with grammar, a good vocabulary, and no spelling errors, but that's to just mask the "I like this sophisticated anime, it's much better than this animu and the fans that like it" elitist fucktardism of enjoying anything Japanese for the sake of feeling a soul, which we're very sure they never were born with. Ironically, this deficiency is indeed something they share with the filthy Tojos.

Here are some examples of Reject Weeaboo behaviors and how you all can help spot the fucktarded:

*Retarded, pasty-white douchebags still stuck in their nostalgia and fandom whoring well into their 30s, thinking that Japan will suck their dongs through whining about their animu obsessions they picked up while attempting to pierce their firm white cheesedicks into Japan in the 1980's and bashing on weeaboos that don't fit their agenda to have anime attract people that never knew about anime, and will fuck them because their animu tastes "are so sophisticated".

*Internet Tough Guys that are reject weeaboos who are often dedicated and jerk off furiously to stuff like Hokuto no Ken, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, or some other [[lol wut|mangoes]] that were produced in the 1980's. They often lurk on the internets looking for animu they can troll; also are likely gamers, make blogs dedicated to their manchild like obsessing around anime with mainly huge muscle bound main protagonists duking it out with other muscle bound characters and... You know what? Fuck it, they're gay.

*The Number One Weeaboo for the fourth consecutive year is Andy "Hokage" Perez of the Little Tokyo Community in Little Tokyo. For more information about this ranked number one weeaboo, please refer to his official website at [http://weaboo.web44.net The Champion of Weeaboos]

*Wannabe Alpha Geek Reject Weeaboos. These weeaboos are the worst kind of weeaboos, and they are often [[Dead|short]] [[Murder|numbered]] for a [[Unwarranted Self Importance|reason]]. These pseudo intellectual fucktards are most commonly found on sites like Gaia, either make their own blogspots, or are located in some retarded comics related forum. Claiming to have a taste in teh animu much better than their brainfucked weeaboo siblings, likely watching things no one fucking cares about, and that they have "a diverse taste in other mediums of entertainment", they are also the biggest douches that you will ever meet, and from the time spend on their sites furiously pleasuring themselves to making "intellectual debates" ('''SPOILER''': It's them wasting their time like the ego driven insufferable smartass nerd douchebags they really are) over why [[Pretentious|XXX-oholic]] is a [[Retard|more symbolic and insightful]] than [[Code Geass|Code Gay-Ass]], you will know why they don't spend any time off of their precious site after working at Game Stop or going to college for Literary Advancements in Comic Books. 
'''SPOILERS''' It's either that they're fucking hideous and no one wants to hang out with them, they're either so fucking nerdy and smartassed that no one wants to hear about their reasons of why you should watch [[Pussy|Revolutionary Girl Altena]] or that they never shut the fuck up about why they know about everything and you don't, or any combination of the above.

Remember [[There are no girls on the internet|ladies]] and [[gentlemen]], just because you have intellect, it doesn't mean you can't be a fucking loser and insufferably retarded ego hoarder! And we know that there are more insufferable intellect disguised fucks out there that we know we can make a [[Lulzcow|lulzcoaster]] out of. We've only gotten started, so don't watch your back; just hold tight as we ram it nice and hard into your ass like the insufferable Nip Entertainment worshiping [[Attention Whore|internet whore]] you are.

==Useful Wapanese phrases==
[[File:Wapaneseseaking.jpg|thumb| Even the amazing [[Seaking]] is affected negatively by Wapanese.]]
[[File:Aznova.jpg|thumb|What Wapanese and real [[Japan|AZNs]] have in common: they suck at foreign languages.]]

Wapanese have a tendency to [[Rape|butcher]] [[Japanese]], mixing what few words and phrases they know in Japanese and sprinkling them all over their primarily English sentences. Expect to hear such statements as: "That dress is so kawai I wish I could ganbaru like that too, ne! Demo, I can't desu! [[nyoro~n]] :3".
These commonly used words may help you identify a Weeaboo in the event their retarded, pitiless appearance aren't dead giveaways:

# ''"Konnichiha!"'' (今日は, Japanese mating call of the North [[American]] Giant Douchebag.)
# Hajimemashite ( 始めまして, "''HAJIMEMASHITE! [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|That means how are you doing]]~ kawaii, ne? ^__- *wink* lol''")
# ''"[[Baka]]!"'' (馬鹿, Noise made when clearing throat to dislodge half-eaten sticks of Pocky, a popular snack formed in a pointless stick shape and coated with the chocolate of shattered dreams.)
# ''"-chan"'' (ちゃん, Must be appended to ''every'' name to make it sound "cute.")
# suffixes/honorifics (敬称：ちゃん、君、等, "''Hey Mary-chan! How are u?!''", "''No Sasuke-kun, plz don't!''", ''etc.'')
# ''"[[Chibi]]"'' (ちび, Chibi dogs r adorable~ ^__^'')
# ''"[[Desu]]!"'' (です, Wapanese place this at the end of every sentence, desu, regardless of its contextual inaccuracy desu. Popularized by [[Rozen Maiden]] animu. However, DESU! spam may be appropriate in the context of a [[raid]], [[trolling]] or some other epic maneuver provided that lulz are the objective desu.)
# ''"Itai, or Itatata~~!!"'' (痛い, Heard when Wapanese hurt themselves. Signals the hearer to hurt them more.)
# ''"[[Kawaii]]!"'' (可愛い, Wapanese standard warning for, "Do not look directly at.")
# ''"Nani?"'' (何, The Japanese word for "[[what]]?" Weeaboos think it makes them cool to use this whenever someone addresses them. It is also an invitation to get socked in the fucking face.)
# ''"Ne!"'' (ね, Usually said after sentences as a sign for the listener to clock 'em. Ne is actually a exclamation, while ねえ nê is equivalent to [[amirite]]. However, no Wapanese realize this as it would entail actual knowledge of the language.
# ''"Sugoi!"'' (すごい, Phrase said when they're sure they've found their new mating partner, possibly Japanese, or [[Asian]], but probably another failed Wap like themselves.)
# ''"Yo!"'' (よ, pronounced 'yoh', translation: basically an '!'. Usually said in conjunction with 'desu' and 'ne'. e.g. - "OMG KAWAII DESU YO NE~!1!!!!")
# ''"[[KittenBellNSFW|Nekoberu]]"'' ('''猫ブル''', pronounced Neck-Oh-Beh-Rew Rew rhymes with [[Jew]] or Shoe) Means Kitten Bell. Not used at all in [[Japan]]. It is a [[Neologism]] created when Weeaboos combined the Japanese word Neko (猫 or cat) with Beru (ベル or bell). It is mostly used as a figurative image in the sub-genre of the Catgirl in [[Furfag|Furry]] art to inform that the CatGirl or NekoJin that the viewer is looking at is underaged.
# ''"[[KittenBellNSFW|NekoJin]]"'' ('''猫人''', pronounced Neck-Oh-Gin and means Catgirl or Cat People) Another weeaboo [[Neologism]] used to describe the Half-cat, Half-Human furry fetish. Your more snobbish weeaboos prefer to use ''"Nekohito"'' ('''猫人''', pronounced Neck-Oh-He-Toe Definition: cat people/person or cat/human implying that it's a cat/human hybrid). Like NekoJin and Neckoberu, it is another Weeaboo [[Neologism]].
# ''"NekoMimi"'' ('''猫耳''', Pronounced Neck-Oh-Me-Me. Literal Definition: Cat Ears. The proper [[Japan|Japanese]] word for the catgirl fetish as it describes that breed of girl that likes to run around Japan wearing Cat Ears.) So you don't look like a fool trying to impress a native speaking Japanese person, it is redundant to call a cat's ears NekoMimi ('''猫耳'''). The proper way to say it would be ''The Cat's ears'' or ''Neko No Mimi.'' Literal translation, ''The ears of the cat.'' '''(猫の耳)'''

====Using the Japanese Language Against Them====

[[File:Aniwapanese.jpg|thumb|Even animu animators want the Wapanese to [[STFU]].]]
Due to the fact that weeaboos are incapable of understanding(let alone pronouncing) Japanese, it is quite easy to troll them by using the very language they revere. They'll probably be shitting bricks over how much you appear to know, but you will walk away with the satisfaction that you verbally abused them without them even knowing it.

*Weeaboo: Aren't I soo totally kawaii [[desu]] ne???!!!1!111
:*Response: はい、とってもかわいそうです。 ''Tottemo kawai sô desu.'' (Translation: Yes, You are very pitiful.)

They will probably think you know Japanese, and think you complimented them. This will usually result in them prodding you with the question "OMG Leik do u spaek Nipongo?"

Response: はい、貴様の豚の顔はたわごとのような臭いがする。 ''Hai, kisama no buta no kao wa tawagoto no yôna nioi ga suru.'' (Translation: Yes, you, your asshole's pig face smells like shit.)

===Kawaii [[Copypasta]]s===

WARNING: After reading these, you may feel the urge to commence [[Suicide#切腹 & 腹切 for the Otaku|seppuku]]. Please do so.



<div class="1stweebpasta">

Omg hai ^___^ Im Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ [[anime]] <3 and my fav is [[Naruto|naurto]]!!!!! OK so anyways, I'm going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband [[Naruto|Sasuke]]!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! SUPAA [[kawaii|KAWAII]] [[DESU]] NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^= I looked up and saw [[Naruto|SASUKE]]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!

KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPAA SUPAA SUPAA KAWAII [[Naruto|SASUKE]]-SAMA!!!!! I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!

he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a [[pocky]] shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TONGUE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! [[O rly|RLY]]!! >.> <.< >.< (^O^) (^O^) (^O^)] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT'S MY MAN WHY DON'T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó) then Sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me!!!!!!!! And guess what!!!!!! He kissed me again!!!!!!! ** \(^O^)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

</div>



<div class="2ndweebpasta">

Hai =^_____^= AI-SAN heeeeeerrreee!! <3 <3 ^______^ <333333333333333333 SASUKE IS HAPPY TOO!! OMG SUPA SUPA KAWAII ~DESU ~DESU Yay! <3 ^_^

Chances are you will see it again >.< <.< <333333333333 (^o^) because I LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE telling everybody about my HUBBYZZ SAKUKE! ((<<)- OMG! I LOVE HIM SO MUCHEEEZZ. he is so KAAAWWWAAAIIIII!!!!! ^.^ <33333333 ~desu ~desu

...

OMG! SASUKE CAME HOOMMMEE! hes home everyone !!!^^. look look, hes home ^^ <333333333333 @_@@@@@@@ ''''____-;;;;;;;;

@@ OH MY GODZZZ SASUKE IS KISSING ME ON THE NECK!!! (@@ (òó) (òó) (òó)>>) he wants to make love to me 0.0. OMG! my heart is racing a million miles an hour <333333333 Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! YAYYYY!! ZZZZ NYAAAA!! ^^

Bai Everyone... ME AND SASUKE ARE OFF TO MAKE MORE BABIES.. Yay Yay!!! bumpy bumpy time! Hours of fun time IN SASUKES BED..... NAKED!! OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!! <33333333333 [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! >__** ** (O)/ YAY! Yay! happy happy haaaaapppppppppppyyyyyy!! NEKO NEKO KAWAII SUPA supa SUPA KAWAII DESU DESU ; ) "",.._____^^ (--(

NYAAA! ^_^

</div>



<div class="3rdweebpasta">

AI-SAN HEEERRREEEE!!! ===>________^===;;;;;;;;;;

I just came back from VACATION at the <333333333 KAWAII ZONE ^__~ and guess what... IM WITH SASUKE ON THE WHOLE VACATION <3333333!!! =^_____^= OMGZZZZZ HES SO HOT WITH THAT SUPA SUPA SEXY ABBS!!! DESU DEUS >.> >_> ^o^ ^_< HE'S SO FRIGGIN SUPA SUPA KAWAII!!! @_@@_@@_@ NYAAAA! ~desu ~desu

NOW i'm going to tell you about the BEST VACATION OF MY LIFE :D :D :D WITH MY HOT HUBBY SASUKE!!! <33333333333 SUPA SUPA KAWAII VACATION WE HADDDD!!!! <333333333333 ^3^ ^3^ @_@@@@@ =^____^;;;;;

While we were walking down the beach, holding hands... ^_____~;;; (of course, HE'S MAH HABBEH AND I LUUUV HIM SOO MUCHEZZZ <333333) i saw some FAT GUIZE AND BITCHES ON OUR POOL -_- OMG WHY DO THEY HAVE TO CLOG UP OUR KAWAII VACATION?!??!? -_- >.< ò_ó TT______TT;;;;

then Sasuke (w/ his SUPA KAWWAIIII ABS O.O;;;;;) released his SUPA PAWAFURU RASENGAN (or is it chidori, i'm ssoooooo braindead -_-) and BLASTED *O* THOSE FAT NERDS AND HOES OFF OF OUR ROMANTICA POOL *_* <33333333 =^________^;;;;
while everyone was looking ôoô guess what... WE WERE HAVING SEX ON THE POOL WITH KAWAII SASUKE!!!!!!! ^______^';';';';' <333333333 everyone was envious >:P, and while we're having our bumpy bumpy time <3333 WE MADE 953 BABIES ON THE TRIP o_____________o;;;;; THEY WERE SOOOOOOO SUPA SUPA @_@ SUPA KAWAII =^==____^L;LL;; THEY BECAME CHIBI NINJAS *_** AFTER THAT

bai everyone, we're off to SASUKE'S APARTMENT TO MAKE MOAR BEBEZZZ ^__________^ <333333333333333333 OMG THEY'RE SOOOOOO KAWAIII!! WE'RE GONNA HAV A FUN TIME NAKED ON SASUKE'S BED, MEKEN BEBEZZZZ alllll frigggeeeeen naitu ^____^;;;-0-=0=- YAY YAY!! NEKO SUPA BAKA SUPA neko sUPA KAWAII KAWAII DEUS DESU DUES! <3333333333333333333333333 ^ooo_^o^_^o_^ yay happy nEKo yay bAAK HAPpy NEKO KAWAII DESU SUPA DESU BAKA NEKO KAWAII SUPA BAKA NEKO SUPA DESU KAWAII!!! <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!)_)#$@(^_#*$#!(&_

NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! <333333333 =^__________<=;'623;5[3r;t

</div>

If you say ANYTHING related to those, please commit hara-kiri. Thank you.

love and waffles,
*~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

==Videos==
<center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>d2FGgYp6mdk</youtube>Here is a prime example of a weeaboo subhuman.

|<youtube>rJBQ8KLH93U</youtube> 
|<youtube>PYUbUvzlvFw</youtube> 
|<youtube>gnDvMSN1b_g</youtube> 
|<youtube>aOm7CXojUzQ</youtube>Weaboo trying to be a [[fail|badass]]
|<youtube>FsNFhYgIXrg</youtube> 
|<youtube>KGD-mFTY6mw</youtube> 
|<youtube>V3tO_Mbp0oc</youtube> 
|<youtube>d81qFaoe010</youtube> 
|<youtube>XP5lz2CYNR4</youtube> 
|<youtube>ifA1AQe_NF0</youtube> 
|<youtube>pupTowgpVVo</youtube> 
|<youtube>5f6g2yBKi1o</youtube> 
|<youtube>12qKfLJtrtM</youtube> 
|<youtube>by9Nl-6kTWw</youtube> 
|<youtube>kB0P19JxrJ4</youtube>A real weeaboo in the wild.
|<youtube>5dOVrCVlEN0</youtube> 
}}</center>

===How the Outside World sees Weaboos===
<center>{{fv|heyvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>OFQQALduhzA</youtube> Pretty much everything you need to know about weeaboos.
|<youtube>8DJ1OeYnO9c</youtube> "I'm from Daytona BeachDAHRHRU" ([http://vimeo.com/30767628 alternate Vimeo link].)
|<youtube>mjmNzmG9qBg</youtube> "Loving Racism and [[Hello Kitty]] fans."
}}</center>


==Gallery==

{{cg|<center>^______________________________________^;;;;</center>|Bringmayo|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:weebsnaturalhabitat.jpg|Weaboo [[white trash]]'s natural habitat. Notice that they are mostly [[Fat]]
File:weebsomemore.jpg| [[Man The Harpoons|^__^]] notice the [[lie|natural hair color]]
File:Asianmouth.jpg|Preparing their mouths to [[fellate]] [[azns]]
File:Juji-Kimono.jpg|Another Mexican weeaboo.
File:Wapanese.jpg|I look Asian, right? [[Fat girl angle shot|Right?]] [[OMG|oMg]] [[Asking for it|LoL]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cosplaygays.jpg|With Weeaboos everything is fail, even [[lesbians]]
File:Fatskinnedcat.jpg‎|Fat weeaboo with a [[dead]], skinned [[cat]] on her back. Wearing your cat is so Kawaii in Japan!
File:Typical Blasian.jpg|Typical blasian
File:Wapanese1.jpg|[[trap|Wapanese Female]].
File:1_wapanese.jpeg|Go die kthxbye.
File:Animegrl.jpg|[[Over 9000|>9000]] hours in [[MS Paint]]
File:Anhero-animu-motivational.png|[[An hero]]
File:Cunt.JPG|[[J-Emo|Emoboo?]]
File:anna weeabo.jpg|Beware, mere mortal, for the sheer FAIL of the GaiaFAG.
File:Awful Black Cosplay.jpg|OH, THE SYPHILIS!
File:Kawaii Nigga.jpg
File:Black Asian-wannabe.jpeg|Where's a blowtorch when you need one...
File:Black Wapanese.jpeg
File:Black wapanese.jpg|cAn I hAz AzN 2?!
File:Blasian Chick.jpg|Parents obviously not solely responsible for this.
File:Chop-suey-glasses.jpg|Wapanese occasionally wear these.
File:Crapanese.jpg|No, squinting your eyes like that does not make you look Japanese. Stop that. Buy the chop suey specs instead.
File:Completelypathetic.jpg|[[Dying alone|I can't score here, but surely I will in Japan.]]
File:Dave.jpg|A fine example of a British weeaboo
File:Dontopen_youreyes_wap_fanservice.jpg|She wants to be Japanese and [[AFI|Davey Faggot]]
File:tatsujin-2.jpg|Those who import video games from Japan definitely fall into the weeaboo category.
File:Fapanese.jpg|Average tentacle rape-laden reading material (Note also the cock-filled stare)
File:FailWeeaboo.jpg|Underneath that armor is the pasty face of the great white Weeaboo.
File:Fatweaboo.png|Fat Weaboo bitch with a dead cat on her head thinking she's being so Japanese. Every Japanese person loves dead furballs on their heads.
File:Foxikun go Rawr.jpg| Also a [[furry]]
File:Geisha_twin_by_dean_winchester.jpg|More like Memoirs of a Gaysha, amirite?
File:GRP_0003.jpg|Attempting to blend in and still failing
File:Halloween2006_02.jpg|Immortal Geisha is the main breeding grounds for rich Weeaboos.
File:INfaggotry.jpg|This is what weeaboos believe.
File:Jailbaitwapanese.jpg|[[Jailbait]] Wapanese. Apparently she is [[16-year-old-girl|23 years old]] and she [[Photoshop|shopped]] all of her fat and acne off so she will look more [[Kawaii]] ^_____^
File:Japanada.png|[[Canadia|Japanada]]
File:JMusicLover.jpg|The Japanese mistake whales for <s>her</s> it.
File:Jpride.jpg|Mr. Can't Score Here continues his [[faggotry]].
File:Kairukun.jpg|Nyo! [http://www.myspace.com/dark_nosferatu Kairu-kun doing what he does best] Neko ears KAWAII DESU!
File:L 488d9c772d67ed6ebbd16c1db87e2ec7.jpg|Not even the shitty wig can cover up the ugly or the facial hair.
File:L e570b9ecbf48525715c40170150f7dc0.jpg|What's a weeaboo she-creature without the half-assed gothic lolita getup?
File:L_12f2def5cae7420ba0a19d95e07fb402.jpg|Weeaboos go to great lengths to look like Japanese schoolgirls, and still fail. [http://www.acen.org/forums/index.php?showuser=10773 Currently Pre-op tranny]
File:Letsgoteam3.jpg|What to tell Wapanese kids.
File:Loolollolweeabooo.jpg|A common maneuver to try to look Japanese, the use of pink dye only a faggot could love coupled with a fucktastic bowl cut. Note the all-important squinting of the eyes.
File:Loserwithgackt.jpg|Since Wapanese can't be close to Gackt, they just photoshop themselves in.
File:LulzWeaboofag.jpg|Typical Weeaboo on IMVU.
File:Miley_cyrus_makes_azns_butthurt.jpg|Miley is wapanese.
File:Mskittenbusted.jpg|Even '''trolling''' as a weaboo can land you in hot water.
File:N529954128 301810 9780.jpg|Typical wapanese cosplay.
File:NorimaroWapanese.gif|This is what all true weeaboos [[LINK MAH BOIIIII|strive for.]]
File:ObviousWeabooIsObvious.jpg|I'd hate to be Japanese right now.
File:OldGackt.jpg|All fangirls want to go to Japan and find their Gackt. How will they handle reality?
File:Omnomingwapanese.JPG|[[OM NOM NOM]]
File:PBF071-Weeaboo.gif|The first use of the word 'weeaboo' was in this Perry Bible Fellowship strip, but it gained popularity due to [[4chan]]'s word filter.
File:Pinkspiderninja.jpg|NINJA ATTACK O(^-^)o~!
File:Purikura by Haru Desuu.jpg|This is why black person [[weeaboos]] shouldn't own Sharpies. Ghetto purikura [[Pimp My Ride|DAWG]].
File:Seiran.PNG|Typical [[Youtube]] weeaboo
File:Shoujo.jpg|[[IRL|RL]] [http://www.myspace.com/supraex2 Ian] the Japanese schoolgirl, curing your yellow fever for good.
File:Stepsisternofriends.jpg‎|This weeaboo clearly has [[Dying_alone|no friends]]. So he resorts to his step sister. There will also proabably be [[Incest]].
File:Stupidest shit ever.jpg|Let's see: shit animu, [[homophobia]], [[lens flare]], Naruto, shitty [[watermark]] for [[shitty art]], so much fail in one picture.
File:Superwap.jpg‎|Some faggot waps just can't do it right.
File:Theobviousweeaboo.jpg|LULZ I noez kung fu! ^___^ (More like kung JEW)
File:UglierMel.jpg|They look even uglier in makeup.
File:Uglybitchyukata.jpg|Typical bitch in her Japanese clothing.
File:Uglyweeaboomandapanda.jpg|Outfit she will wear when she [[Never|moves to Japan when she's finally 18]].
File:Unibrowyuna.jpg|"I cast teh kawaii missile-chan into teh darkness desu."
File:Vivi 3.png| KAWAII DESU KA? n__n
File:Vivi Blasian 2.png|DESTROY IT, DESTROY IT NOW
File:wap.jpg|Note again the use of the Squint Tactic.
File:Wap-girl.jpg|A weeaboo in its natural habitat. Note the staple hand gesture and imitative squint of the wannabe Azn. Now you're so Wapanese female!
File:Wapanese.PNG|trying to fit in...
File:Wapanese_misfits.jpg|''So u say u wanna b [[retarded|diff'rent]], eh?''
File:Wapaneseeyes.jpg|A female in the advanced stages of the disease. Beware: could be possibly contagious and will hopefully lead to death.
File:Wapaneseeyes2.JPG| A black person with the disease. Very dangerous if you make eye contact with this [[Whore|exotic]] [[Fat|zoo creature]].
File:Wapanesewithpocky.jpg|Hopefully, this Wapanese will choke and die on this [[Pocky|overpriced shit-dipped compressed sawdust]]
File:Wappo Guy.jpg|Strip this guy of his photoshop disk
File:We Need To Talk.jpg|This person needs serious help.
File:Weabooboy.jpg|Ginger Weeaboo sitting on a DDR mat at his local mall. The Weaboo above happens to be his girlfriend.]]
File:Weabooewww.jpg|Typical Weeaboo girl flaunting her Hello Kitty shirt, her poorly made hair falls, her wanna-be raver getup, and doing the typical weeaboo eye squint.
File:Weeaboo DA.JPG|deviantART is the main breeding ground for Weeaboos.
File:Weeaboo-ironmouse-okc.jpg|‎Nothing sadder than a weeaboo fag in his 30s.
File:Weeabooatheart.jpg|Anime is [[srs bsns]]
File:Weeaboolunch.jpg|Typical weeaboo. Note neck beard.
File:Weeabooninja.jpg|Srsly
File:Weeaboos2of.jpg|Typical weeaboos think ninjas are awesome.
File:Weaboosatacc.jpg‎|A few [http://www.myspace.com/the_real_bacon Weeaboos] hangin' out at the [[Columbine|Dojo]]. Notice the animu doll.
File:weeaboosuperhonky.jpg|Another typical male weeaboo. Note the ginger halo.
File:Weeabootastic.jpg|Weeaboos in full battle gear
File:Weeaboowar.jpg|BY THE POWER OF GAYSKULL!
File:Weeabowigger.jpg|The fad of tatting Han characters on your back won't make you Japanese like this [[wigger]] thought when he combined them with some obscure rap [[tattoo]]s.
File:WeeabooWTF.jpg|WTF?
File:Weebs.jpg|[[Drug|Stoned]] weaboo
File:Wapaneseniggaboo.jpg|O lawd
File:Fakewapanesemexican.png|[[ZOMG]]! [[Mexican]]s trying to be Azn too!
File:Weeaboopokemoncenter.jpg‎|A weeaboo sitting outside the Pokemon center. She was probably hopeing that she will also meet a nice [[Azn]] hermaphrodite along with seeing trees of [[Pocky]].
File:chinkywhiteboy.jpg|<s>I CaN bE aZn 2!!1</s> lol wrong, [[scene]]fag
File:Hello_Kitty_zombie.jpg|She wants brains! And for you to buy her newest line of cute crap!
File:Weeabocar.jpg|Weeaboo Car
File:Animegirl.jpg|A weeaboo failing at being a scenefag
File:Weeaboomary.jpg|Japanesu so kawaii ^_^
File:Blasian guy.jpg|Negro got a perm
File:Ohshi.JPG|Boy George, a famous Japanophile. Also, really, really [[gay]].
File:Hontokawaiinekochan.jpg|I am so Kawaii uguu I'm cosplaying grorious nippon Mello-sama and I look completely like him.
File:Wapanesemandy.jpg|tottemo kawaii desu~
File:Svelt-ninja.jpg|pretty badass
File:Narutocafe.jpg|When weeaboos get lots of [[money]]
File:Desujapono.png| The story of the wapanese, who failed
File:Neko dresses as a Neko *Shudder*.jpeg|Acute sufferer of [[FGAS]], the [[furry]] fandom ''and'' [[Internet disease]].
File:Lolflandrecosplay.jpg|KAWAII DESU ^_________________________________^
File:Wapanese_training_toys.jpg|Training toys
File:And that's why I'm the perfect lover.jpg
File:Weeaboo_-_Samurai_Warrior_Is_Battle_Ready.jpg|<center>[[forever alone|"Emergency Situations"]]</center>
File:Weeaboo_-_Animu_Wapanese.jpg|Animu weeaboo
File:Anime_world2.jpg|Anime world
File:Weeaboo_Message.jpg
File:Amperehopemodel.jpg|How weeaboos spend time on [[Christmas]] break.
File:Reverse_Weeaboo.jpg
File:Wut_Wut.jpg
</gallery>|}}
{{Clear}}

==Wild Weeaboo Encounters==

When encountering weeaboos in their natural habitat (i.e. [[Clusterfuck|Conventions]], [[School|School]], [[IRL|etc]]), you must know they are dangerous, unpredictable and [[Whale|disgusting]]. Here are some records of various encounters with these beings. They are as likely to turn on one another as they are to turn on you and fuck your shit. If you are [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|weak of heart]] or [[RAGE|spirit]], it is advised you keep scrolling and don't look back.

{{cg|Horror Stories|weeaboos|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror.jpg|A harrowing encounter with a whale.
File:Glomped weeaboo horrors.png|A horrific, rib shattering "[[Glomp|glomp]]".
File:Chairchan Weeaboo horror.png|Handicapped girl is almost murdered.
File:Bloody Miku.png|Cosplayer discovers the horrors of a weeaboo's [[Vagoo|vagina]].
File:Sarah chan weeaboo horror.png|Thieving, [[Insane|psychopathic]] weeaboo roommate.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Yeast infected kisses by weeaboo horror.png|Yeast infected kisses.
File:Slit throat weeaboo horror.png|Another almost-murder.
File:Bike weeaboo horror.jpg|A weeaboo, a boy, and a bike. What could go wrong?
File:Wheelchair weeaboo horror.jpg|Another handicapped girl story.
File:Tae weeaboo horrors.jpg|Moar
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 0 1.jpg|Weeaboo encounter in a con, comic form. Original thread can be read [[:File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror.jpg|here]].
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 2 3.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 4 5.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 6 7.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 8 9.jpg
File:Hambeast prime weeaboo horror page 10.jpg
</gallery>|}}

==See also==
{{weeaboo}}

'''Weeaboo Junk'''
* [[Babel:Japanesu/Japan]] - The inside of a Weeaboos mind.
* [[Colony drop|Colony Drop]] - An example of when you have Reject Weeaboos on the loose.
* [[Doopie DoOver]]
* [[Desu-radio]]
* [[J-emo]]us the trying too hard with the cultural assimilation.
* [[SailorRWBY]] a Stereotypical Weeaboo who treats Sailor Moon and RWBY like untouchable GODS and a massive Frozen fagtard and a clopper and butthurt on much better products and complains about shit no one cares about.
* [[Pocky]] - Weeaboo bait.
* [[Questionable logic]] is how Weeaboo are created
* [[Ramen]] - Weeaboo rations.
* [[Teruaki Murakami]]- an actual Japanese person whose hentai serves as a gateway drug
* [[TV Tropes]], where weeaboos conspire to force their disease-ridden lingo upon the world.
* [http://instagram.com/wannablaze# WannaBlaze] A fat, Murrican weeaboo kicked out of Japan for being an annoying, drunk whore.

'''Very similar to Weeaboo'''
* [[Comic book fans]] - What almost all weeaboos are but refuse to admit.
* [[Koreaboo]] - Similar to a weeaboo, but obsessed with [[Good Korea]] instead of Japan.
* [[Otaku]] - Unlike weeaboos, these are actually Japanese, but the only real difference is min
* [[Pretendians]]
* [[Wolfaboo]] - A term, derived from "weeaboo", referring to overly obsessed [[wolf]] fans.
* [[Wigger]]
* [[Yellow Fever]]
* [[Confederate]]s - In modern-day, basically the weeaboos of the south.

{{anime}}
{{azn}}
{{fanfic}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 16, [[2006]]|[[Stumbleupon]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Tom Anderson]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 8, [[2006]]|[[MONGO]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Newgrounds]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now August 1 & August 2, [[2024]]|[[Mötley Crüe]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[You Will Never Be A Woman]]}}

[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]

You Will Never Be A Woman

2024-08-15T22:31:29Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{perfect}}

'''You will never be a real woman'''. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no [[eggs]]. You are a [[homosexual]] [[man]] twisted by [[drugs]] and [[Sex change|surgery]] into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people [[mock]] you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “[[No friends|friends]]” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even [[trannies]] who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the [[depression]] creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the [[Fat|unbearable weight]].

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - [[Kill yourself|you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss]]. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your [[Deadname|birth name]], and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

== See Also ==

[[File:Bruce-jenner-vanity-fair-caitlyn-transgender.jpg|right|250px]]
* [[Chud]]
* [[Fag]]
* [[Soyjak.party]]
* [[Tranny]]
* [[Transgender]]
* [[Transphobia]]
* [[Transtrender]]

{{Faggotry}}
{{Acronyms}}
[[category:copypasta]]
[[category:Drama-generating techniques]]

{{Timeline|Featured article August 3 & August 4, [[2024]]|[[Weeaboo]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Axel Muganwa Rudakubana]]}}

Axel Muganwa Rudakubana

2024-08-15T22:31:05Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{Spoiler|Axel Muganwa Rudakubanigger is autistic! As if being black wasn't bad enough!}}
{{aspie}}
{{Aroundblacks}}

{{ib|[[File:Axel Rudakubana.jpg|250px]] They'll say that the stabbing spree wasn't racially motivated, but we know better.}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Axel Muganwa Rudakubana'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|August 7, 2006 ({{age|2006|8|7}} years old)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Rwanda]]n-[[Britfag]]  [[File:Rw.gif.png]]  [[File:MiniflagUK.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 3, injured 10}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Hack'N'Slash, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|No}}
{{Ibend}}

{{Quote|<center>It’s like something from America, not like sunny Southport.|Colin Parry</center>}}

'''Axel Muganwa Rudakubana''', a [[DangerDan|dangerous]] immigrant from the [[Nigger pig|African]] country of [[Rwanda]], is just your average [[Nigger|black person]] that vehemently despised [[Taylor Swift]]'s music because she is a living representative of the [[white devils]] that enslaved millions of lazy blacks and doesn't [[Dead|bury]] her songs under a 1-2 beat or have unnecessary [[rap]]ping in the middle of a song because [[Woman|she]] is trying to get a friend a [[music]] contract.

Coming from Banks, Lancashire, England, [[incel]] Axel Rudakubana woke up one day and decided that July 29, [[2024]] was the day that he'd mindlessly strike out against the "English man" by declaring [[war]] against [[Loli|little girls too young]] to fight against him and have their deaths serve as an example for all the racist crimes inflicted upon him and his black brothers.

Having been born with the disability of living in [[England]] and it being a country that is well-known for having some of the strictest gun control laws in the [[Earth|world]], Axel was at a disadvantage when he went into a [[Tranquility Bay|yoga and dance studio]] mostly populated by [[Kid Rock|children]] during a Taylor Swift summer dance party. Being absolutely [[Insane|sane]], like most of us, he wanted the [[satan]]ic [[Music|songs]] of Taylor Swift, where she [[Truth|pontificates]] on and on about all the [[boyfriend]]s she has dumped, halted immediately. Being black and unable to dictate the agony he was suffering as the yoga/dance studio kept playing the [[Jerk|shallow]] lyrics and uninspired sounds of her background music, all he was able to do was make [[Chimpmania|chimp]] sounds, grab a [[knife]], and go on a stabbing spree.

Being [[NIGGER MANUAL|black]] and incapable of thinking more than [[Rape Clock|5 seconds]] into the future or beyond the rewards of [[Masturbate|instant gratification]], Axel ran into the yoga/dance studio, waving his knife around like he was Deathstroke from a [[Batman]] comic. He killed 3 little girls and wounded 8 (plus 2 adults), surpassing the [[Couch Cuck]] by 1 kill.

== [[Stephan Balliet|Cucked by a Door]] ==

[[File:Murdered little white girls.jpg|center|400px]]
{{Quote|<center>Black guy murders 3 little white girls, not motivated by race at all.</center>}}

[[File:Axel Muganwa Rudakubana Toilet cuck .jpeg|thumb|right|250px|<center>As dark as the ace of spades.</center>]]

Leanne Lucas and co-[[School|teacher]] Heidi Barlow, both white, were able to think clearly and sought to protect as many children as possible once the [[attack]] started.

Leanne Lucas, who gave more and is in [[BPL|critical condition]] after the attack, sought to save as many children as possible by taking them out the [[fire]] door and hoped that she would trigger an alarm that would alert the [[Pigs|police]] to the carnage that was going on.

Heidi Brown, obviosly not made of the stern materials that her [[superior]] is, only received minor injuries as she locked herself in a bathroom with a single child.

Together, Lucas selflessly saved a total of 15 children through her harrowing act of putting herself in danger to rescue as many [[Children]] as possible. Brown, on the other hand, being [[coward]]ly and being made of weak material and a rubber [[Black Lives Splatter|spine]], sought more to save herself, looking for cover but knowing that if she didn't at least try to save someone her cowardice would be brought up. Choosing the [[bathroom]] as her hiding place, Brown grabbed a single child and quickly locked the door behind herself. For all that is said about English [[Courage Wolf|courage]], Heidi Brown is proof that [[stereotypes]] aren't always that accurate.

== Taylor Swift ==

[[File:24taylor-notebook3-superJumbo.jpg|right|250px]]

Much like every piece of [[shit]] celebrity that worships [[Xenu]] and would suck the [[air]] out of your lungs just to watch you die for [[Lulz|shits and giggles]] if they had that kind of [[Power Rangers|power]], [[Bitch|Taylor Swift]] quickly called up her public relations [[South Park|guy]] and wanted to know how quickly she could make this English version Of The [[Knife Game|stabbing game]] all about her, or even have this event named after her and get people to refer to it as the '''Taylor Swift stabbing''' as a way to sell her brand.

Running straight to [[Social networking sites|social media]], as fast as her [[Slave|assistant]] could, Taylor Swift demanded that she write a heart wrenching post that would show readers that she has a beating heart and not a [[Vagina|black hole]] in her chest and might even quell the rumors that she [[Cannibalism|eats human flesh]].

{{Quote|<center>The horror of yesterday's attack in Southport is washing over me continuously, and I'm just completely in shock. The loss of life and the innocence, and the horrendous trauma inflicted on everyone who was there, the families, and first responders. These were just little kids at a dance class. I am at a complete loss for how to ever convey my sympathies to these families.|{{twitter|taylorswift13|Taylor Swift}} responding to what will be known as the Taylor Swift stabbing</center>}}

Unaware of the [[Brain|mind]] fuckery she has over her fans, there was really no need for her to play to her fans that have named themselves [[Retard|Swifties]]. Because they follow her blindly due to the [[Hypnosis|self hypnosis]] they perform on themselves bi-monthly, fans took it upon themselves to begin a fundraising campaign in her name.

Two members of the Taylor Swift UK & EU Facebook group, Cristina Jones and Holly Goldring, working with Alder Hey Children’s Hospital, set up a [[Money|fundraiser]] that made over £275,000 in 2 days. The Swifties', goal is to, in Taylor Swift's name, help the families affected by this attack and fund the funeral expenses for the families of the three young girls that were senselessly murdered for no reason.

*'''Alice Dasilva Aguiar''', 9 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png]]

*'''Elsie Dot Stancombe''', 7 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png]]

*'''Bebe King''', 6 [[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png]]

Three tiny, innocent, angelic little [[Girl IRL|girl]]s that [[Dead|died]] for no reason because a white-hating, inferior-brained, [[Nigger Kike Jew Jar|racist black man]] decided to kill them [[simp]]ly for the color of their skin.

== The Slippery Slope ==

[[File:Kitchen knife cutting board.jpg|thumb|right|250px|<center>They can take my cutlery from my cold, dead hands.</center>]]

Following the [[Thomas Hamilton|Dunblane school shooting]] in Scotland on March 13, 1996 that resulted in the deaths of 16 children and their teacher, the UK, having no balls, thinking about the children and wanting to give up all of their freedom the next time [[Germany]] attacks or the monarchy decides to get rid of what little bits of [[Demockery|democracy]] they have left, passed the Firearms (Amendment) (No. 2) Act 1997, which banned pistols in Great Britain.

No longer having [[Gun|handguns]] and resorting to the cutlery section of [[Walmart]] to arm themselves for attacks, English [[Star Citizen|citizens]] now blame an increasing knife culture for the recent rise in knife crime, which has led to calls for the government to do more to clamp down on and protect them from bladed weapons. Because they don't see any future problems with having nothing to cut an overcooked English steak with during dinner, they are willing to give up their knives and look at a future where [[France|French]] chefs in [[London]] will have to use plastic cutlery to prepare meals.

== Autism Diagnosis ==

[[File:Autism awareness puzzle.jpg|right|250px]]

Shortly after the chimp's name was revealed, the [[Jews|news]] revealed to the British public that this poor little child killer, that you should feel sorry for and [[Crybaby|emotionally]] bond with, is in fact a victim of the horrific mind virus known as [[autism]] and is possibly also [[gay]], with neighbors describing this tree-climbing ape as being [[fag|a quiet choir boy]] who was a part of a school drama group and took part in a show in the Shaftesbury Theatre. Some have even gone on record saying that he [[virgin|never left his house]]. A textbook case of autism, but [[you]] would know that, [[4chan|wouldn't]] [[Basement-dweller|you]]?

While he sat, rocking back and forth and hitting the wall with the back of his head as he heard the charges laid against him with a smile on his face, [[autism]] support groups' hearts broke. If it wasn't for this crime, they said, no one would even know that he existed.

This, of course, totally excuses him from killing [[loli|three little white girls]], because autism is a [[unwarranted self-importance|seriously misunderstood condition]] that causes people suffering from it to not understand social cues or the laws that have been put in place to define what is considered right and wrong in society. It is a well-known [[fact]] that anyone who suffers from this condition [[Chris-chan|should always get off the hook]] because they're completely innocent. This case is a perfect excuse for a [[DINDUNUFFIN|dindu]] defense.

==Graded Score==

{{GradedScore|3|10 injured|5| |10|Trolled one specific female singer like fellow Britfag high scorer [[Salman Abedi]]|10|Far-righters started riots over a nigger stabbing cracker lolis|0|No bonus, just a typical [[refugee]] at work|28|F-|[[Thug posting|Axel in Southport]]}}

{{Wanted|2}}

== See Also ==
* [[Anton Lundin Pettersson]] - Another Hack'N'Slash player who got 3 kills.
* [[Couch Cuck]]
* [[England]]
* [[Knife]]
* [[Knife Control]]
* [[Murder]]
* [[Nigger]]
* [[School]]
* [[Yakub]]

==External Links==

*{{Wikilink|2024_Southport_stabbing|TOW coverage}}

{{High Scores}}
{{Britfags}}
{{Afro}}
{{Aspies}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Murder]]
[[Category:2024]]

{{Timeline|Featured article August 5 & August 6, [[2024]]|[[You Will Never Be A Woman]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Florida]]}}

Florida

2024-08-15T22:30:46Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{spoiler|florida was recently assraped to death by yet another [[SANDYLOOTCREW|hurricane]]}}
[[Image:ShoweR_florida.jpg|thumb|Florida is known for its rain.]]
[[Image:FloridaFun.JPG|thumb|left|[[truth|Contrary to myth, Florida is actually a major cultural center]].]]
[[Image:Alligatorservice.jpg|thumb|[[Lies|Wildlife are extremely friendly there.]]]]
[[Image:Floridodo.jpg|thumb|After breakfast, take a nap on the kitchen floor.]]
[[Image:Crazed1.jpg|thumb|Same shit, different day]]

[[Image:Florida-ba.gif|thumb|The [[final solution]]]]

Once upon a time God decided to create a place where old jews and Republican spics could all live in relative harmony - so he made Florida, America's dick. Seriously, look at the shape of the state. It's in the shape of a flaccid penis. That should tell you enough. Of course God didn't expect anything of value to come from this colossal shithole, he just made it for the [[lulz]].

Right up there with [[China]], [[Nigeria]] and Eastern Europe, Florida's incorporation and fraud laws combine with a lack of cooperation with other states' investigations to create a safe haven for all sorts of predatory fucks with a front as legal businesses. Florida gains attention on the [[internets]] by being [[spam]] central. However, scamming in Florida has a long and sordid history that predates the Internet. Boca Raton once proudly proclaimed itself to be the telemarketing capital of the world with the joke that BR actually stood for Boiler Room. '''B'''ut it doesn't '''R'''eally matter, since everyone in Florida is '''B'''latantly '''R'''etarded.

It's not just spam, either. Huge numbers of pre-recorded telemarketing calls originate from Florida. Florida telemarketers can ignore the Federal TCPA that makes pre-recorded calls illegal, because the Florida AG protects, insulates, and accepts bribes from [[tele-marketers]].

Fake sweepstakes aimed at the elderly show up in your mailbox? Likely from Florida. A too-good-to-be-true vacation offer to DisneyWorld or the Caribbean? A Florida cut-and-run travel agency. When you watch late night TV, start counting how many infomercials for investments, work-at-home or other get-rich-quick schemes have you dealing with someone in Florida.

Clearwater, the home of the Church o' [[Scientology]], is located in Florida, only proving what dumb shits the [[retard|Floridites]] are for allowing them a foothold in the US.

Along with being shaped liek a [[retard|retard's]] [[faggot|dildo]] ([[PROTIP]]: It used to be shaped like an erect penis pointing toward Britfags, until all the [[old people]] moved down into it and made it hang limp), Florida is well known as Cape Dementia, the land of the dead, the cemetery without down payment, and a paradise for the retired dying waste that are [[babyfuck|baby]] [[goatse|boomers]]. The state is has [[over nine thousand]] seniors, which make it a fucking [[Snapesnogger|nightmare]] to drive anywhere, maneuver a cart through [[7-11|Walmart]] or even walk down the street. You can be sure if you live here that you will get to see many-a grey-haired fucker die. Meanwhile, in North Florida, the Administrative Wing, there are lots of trees and [[drugs]] to climb and smoke, and even though North Florida has a more hellishly hot climate than even [[Miami]], many choose to settle there to become state bureaucratic commandants and take care of everybody real good.

When terrorists chose to attack America, they headed straight for the Huffman Aviation flight school in Venice, Florida. The school is run by a superjew named Rudi Dekkers. Who else would [[retard|train them to fly without training them to land]]?

Although most [[fascism|American political thinkers]] agree on the necessity of eventually solving "The Florida Question," there remains disagreement on how best to go about it. While some advocate sealing the border, performing a tactical nuclear strike on the state's major urban centers, and then waiting for the inhabitants to [[death|die]] off over the course of time, groups like the [[furries|ASPCA]] have argued that Floridians may possess an [[Bayeux Tapestry|archaic]] form of self-awareness, thus raising [[abortion|ethical questions]] about such methods.

Fortunately, the Florida question will be solved by global warming, as all it will take is two more inches of rising ocean to drown this foul nest of old folk's homes and retard breeding forever.

Good news, [[pain|sick fucks]]: [[bestiality]] is not [[banned|illegal]] in Florida.

Florida is also home to [[drug|oxycontin]] where it was invented [[at least 100 years ago]] by [[Jews]] hoping they could destroy the pure white 11 toed Aryan population that resides only in the deep hill country of Appalachia. Fifty of the top Fifty doctors who prescribe the most oxycontin reside in the state of Florida, making Florida the premier source of hillbilly heroin. And with their city Lakeland,FL where most niggers reside and
smoke mad blunts and heroin every day, they wanna have sex with your mom and fuck you and make statements claiming that your gay because you don't have
fifty bucks to fuck you up. And since most niggers are sick fucks in florida, you niggers can suck dick.

It's also truly proven that it's sick fuck city, Lakeland is where most shit talkers reside and people who disagree with your statements, Lakeland is where most shit talkers reside in and most people get sexually harasses and fucked over. [[Anonymous|Judge us]] and we'll prove you're wrong, home to the most fucked up trolls and we'll shoot your ass and [[Retard|hope]] your mom. We do not forgive our hate against Florida, [[English#The_English_Language|We]] will never forget, [[Nigger#Communication|Nevar]] forget.

And if you're one of those [[Fag|emo kids]] who live in the state, you are evil, gay, smoke 50 blunts, have threesomes everyday, get your ass beat up, and you can all die in hell. Enjoy your fucked up life in the state and in the evil city. You sick fucks.

==Weather==

Hot with a 100% chance of being [[Nigger|mugged]] in the summer. The average temperature in Florida in the summer is hotter than your mom fucking with Fidel Castro in a Cuban sandwich press.

Due to being the second hottest state, the men here are incredibly fucking smelly. Women in Florida like that though, due to being retarded fucking cunts who have mistaken what is truly "hot"

It's as cold as Ditchrot somehow in the winter.

Also it's humid as hell there too since the whole place is a bigger, wetter hole than your mother's pussy and the sun shines all the fucking time. Seriously, what normal people call "walking" is "swimming" in Florida. If you want to dry off, jump on a lake, unless you're afraid of man-eating crocodilians, murderous vipers, and infectious algae like the pussy you are.

==People of Florida==
[[Image:mugshot.png|thumb|center|600px|[http://www.google.com.hk/search?q=florida+mugshots Native Floridians in their natural habitat]]] 
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<center><youtube>DvvgzQ-Itog</youtube></center>
|}

==Economy==
[[Image:Florida-bucketoffail.jpg|thumb|[[Yes|Does Florida suck big dicks?]]]]
===Exports===
*Crystal Meth
*Flight Trained Terrorist
*Broke tourist coming home from Disney World
*Retarded Politicians
*E. Coli Infected Produce
*Guatemalan Babies
*[[White trash]] [[faggots]]
*[[White trash|Trailor Park Princesses]]
*Young [[Mangina|manginas]]
*DIDNY WORL!

===Imports===
*[[Drugs]]
*Old People
*Mexicans and Cubans
*[[Retards|Tourists]]
*[[Your mom|Your mom]]
*Chinks and Kikes
*Niggers

== Traditions of Florida ==
*[[Burn a Koran Day]]

==Laws==
Floridians are very proud of their Florida Statutes.

===Sunshine Laws===
Basically news journalists can demand arrest records and write whatever the fuck they want. [[Old Media]] exploits this fact by dramatically and incorrectly reporting on things that will trigger [[Conservatism|consericucks]] and [[Liberalism|libtards]]. They run lots of "Florida Man" articles, making the word Florida Man become synonymous with meth-addicted [[redneck]]s who do stupid shit and get arrested.

===Stand Your Ground===
Known to the locals as a "Nigger Huntin' License," the Stand Your Ground law allows white people to get away with murder, as long as the "victim" is a [[Not_Black_people|nigger]]. Exceptions are made for some [[spics]] like George Zimmerman, the brave hero who shot down an unarmed black teen named [[Trayvon Martin]]. Zimmerman is a hero to many [[White_Nationalism|inbred redneck faggots who think demographic shifts are white genocide]]. Florida was the first state to write such a law, inspiring many other states in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts]] to do the same.

== Aliens hate Florida ==
<center><youtube>A8zsdIQe9UQ</youtube></center>

==Notable Floridians and Related Articles==
[[Image:Nukeflorida.jpg|thumb|There's an idea.]]
[[File:Floridaman.png|thumb|right]]
*[[Alligator]]s
*[[Alec Difrawi]]
*[[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]] - Originally of [[Jew York|Staten Island, New York]], but recently moved to America's Wang in an attempt to flee from [[trolls]].
*[[Blueshinewolf]]
*[[Bob Allen]]
*[[Cocaine]]
*[[¡Jeb!|Jeb Bush]]
*[[Danny]]
*[[Disney|Disney World]]
*[[Donald Buffkin]]
*[[Doopie DoOver]] Trailor Park Princess and [[Internet poor|Notorious E-Begger]]
*[[DJ Skeptik]]
*[[Trayvon Martin|George Zimmerman]]
*[[Jack Thompson]]
*[[John Travolta]]
*[[JoshU2uber]]
*[[Kelly Kalogerakos]]
*[[Libertarian Fox]]
*[[Mark Foley]]
*[[Miami]]
*[[Niggers|Negroes]]
*[[Old people]]
*[[Pedobear]]
*[[Pulse Nightclub Massacre]] - Happened here.
*[[Ryulong]]
*[[Sora Del Corazon]] - Cuban Sonicfag that lives in Florida.
*[[SuperMarioLogan]] - A very lulzy YouTuber who plays with plushies and doxxed his house so his "fans" can come over.
*[[Tablecow]]
*[[Violence|Shayla A. Muldrow]]
*[[The Mulberry Eight]]
*[[Trayvon Martin]] - Was pwned here in [[2012]].
*[[Satan]]
*[[Spics]]
*[[Terri Schiavo]]
*[[The Florida Tweenie Rapists]]
*[[University of Florida Taser incident]]
*[[Nicolas Cruz]]
*[[Connor Larramore]] - A babyfur retard [[BPD|annoying]] scizo who's obsessed with poly relationships, who's also a noteable ween/white knight to [[Keegan Salisbury]].

== External links ==
*[http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/internetprivacy/2004-07-19-spam-central_x.htm USA Today: Florida delivers sunshine and spam.]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20050213091710/http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/columnists/fred_grimm/5964205.htm?1c Bogus Boca.]
 
{{Unitedstates}}
[[Category:Locations]]
{{Timeline|Featured article July 16 & July 17, [[2013]]|[[Racism]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[s4s/|/s4s/]]}}

{{Timeline|Featured article August 7 & August 8, [[2024]]|[[Axel Muganwa Rudakubana]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Cocaine]]}}

Cocaine

2024-08-15T22:29:46Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
''This is about the [[drug]]. For l33t [[Softwarez|program]] access, see [[Software Crack]].''
[[image:theshadling_sweet-lady-in-white.jpg|180px|thumb|A visual representation of the feeling derived from cocaine intake.|right]]
{{quote|I DO COCAINE!! I REALLY DO COCAINE!!|[[Pickles|Dr. Rockzo The Rock n' Roll Clown]]}}
{{quote|Cocaine's a hell of a drug.|[[Rick James]]}}
{{quote|If you want to hang out, you've gotta take her out, Cocaine|Eric Clapton}}
[[Image:Coke cat.jpg|thumb|Deviatedseptumcat knows what he likes.]]
[[Image:Doctor Rockso.jpg|thumb|This guy lives in a [[Lady Gaga|non-stop nightmare]], fueled by [[1980|co-co-co-cocaine]]!!! ]]
{{Erowid-vault-chemicals|cocaine|Cocaine}} (AKA: ''Crack, Coke, Blow, Rock'' and ''[[Hookers and blow|Food of the Gods]]'') is the best drug in the world; a stimulant that people and [[nigger]]s take to heighten their worst instincts and optimise the volume at which they talk, usually at the next fucking table in the bar I'm trying to have a quiet goddamn drink in. It gives the user energy, confidence, willpower and the desire to [[rape]] every ten minutes. It is usually powdered, and helpfully cut with even more toxic white powder in order to fuck your nose up, [[awesome]]. You can also mix it with a tiny amount of water and put it up your ass, though if you do this, remember to ram it home with a twelve-inch black dildo, you big queer.

You can obtain cocaine off any guy who is being a smug loud asshole in a bar, anybody who works in any kind of bank, in the [[Ghetto]], and off my buddy Rick's housemate, he does tons of blow.

==History==
Cocaine was named after, and invented by, the Coca-Cola Company, the manufacturers of the softdrink that gives children ADHD and diabeetus. The [[Jews|powerful businessmen behind Coke]] saw this wasn't enough to destroy the minds of youth so they experimented with a hyperconcentrated powered form, testing it on [[niggers|lab animals]] and bored-off musicians who needed some kind of powder to snort off hookers' tits and asses. This new form has the magical ability to turn the nicest guy into the most overbearing asshole and the nicest girl into a raging [[whore|cockwallet]], so it's obviously awesome!

===Effects===
'''Men:'''
* Gives you confidence and raw willpower to [[Rape|do anything you want]]
* Focuses all your attention on doing more coke, that is your only priority, do more coke, always more coke
* Makes you much violent when women you confidently approach tell you to fuck off for being a coked up dick
* Provides you with a handy Monday-morning cold your work colleagues will notice every single fucking week, and wonder why you only ever have it for one day and in one nostril
* Unleashes your [[Nigger|animalistic instincts]]
* Makes you ragingly horny.
* Causes [[bipolar|fun mood swings]], where you can be exuberant and an asshole one minute, and a jittery, angry asshole the next
* [[tldr|Wow, dude, this is good stuff, anyway, I said to Sarah that I didn't mean to hurt her by sleeping with that Xerox place chick, women though man, yeah? You get me? Right! So I called her and got her roommate on the phone and I was on blow so talked to her to shoot the shit, you know how it is, her name's Stacey, I met her once and she's pretty fine but she was being a bit frosty with me, dude, do us another line, a fatty, a real fatty, I bought a new suit last week, the chicks will love it, I could use it for work because I'd love a raise and there's this new position I might go for, roll up this twenty dollar bill dude, use the end without blood on, anyway I called Sarah back and left a message on her machine and I kind of got off the track of just asking a call back and called her a bitch so this guy calls back like five minutes later all mad and]]
* A [[Darwin Awards]] winner enhanced his sexual pleasure by injecting cocaine in to his urinary tract. The only side-effect was a painful three-day-long erection, after which his [[Shemale|penis fell off]] and gangrene forced doctors to [[Amputee|amputate]] his legs and most of his fingers.
*Winning

'''Women:'''
[[Image:Danniella westbrook septum.jpg|thumb|right|Z-list Britfag 'celebrity' Daniella Westbrook got pwnt by cocaine]]
* Women can't handle cocaine, bless them, they get all anxious, aww, poor little things!
* Wow, look at the rack on that babe, I'd love to do coke off her tits
* Women turn into whores on cocaine, this is [[awesome]]
* Amy Winehouse <del>is</del> [[lulz|was]] totally a cokehead
* Whores become more whorish on cocaine, this would be awesome but you may as well not buy them coke cause it's not cheap and they're whores already right?
*Girls lose weight if they do coke all the time, hence why whores are always skinny as fuck. Be sure to mention this to any vulnerable females you know who might just try some blow, them pimp them out in the throes of addiction and turn them into your bitch
*Women on cocaine are usually more inept at housework and will be too jittery to cook, so be wary
* C'mon baby, let's do a line while we screw, c'mon, you'll get higher than ever before. Baby? Where are you going? It's not sleazy, it's another step in our erotic journey! You can do it off my cock, baby, please?

===PSA: The Cocaine Experience===
Besides putting a spring in your step and a massive [[Goatse|hole]] in your palate, the following video is how it feels to rail cocaine from a skanky stripper's inflatable tits.
<center><youtube>_0GG6ecVIao</youtube></center>

<center><gallery>
Image:Cocaine yummy.jpg|Remedy for many ills
File:Cokehayfever.jpg|Great for hay fever
File:Crazed1.jpg|Makes better marksmen
File:Scientist says cocaine is lovely daily mirror 11 mar 1936.jpg|A+ would inject again
</gallery></center>

[[File:Makecocaine.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Even websites will teach you the 101 on Cocaine!]]

===Help with Addiction===
Cocaine can be really addictive, and a serious cocaine problem can ruin your life, or at least cause you to get bloody snot on your favourite sweater. Here's some handy tips to bear in mind if you think you have a cocaine problem:

* The only real coke problem is running out of coke
* Pepsi is not a good substitute for the "real thing"
* If you find yourself craving coke, just do one line, that's all, what harm could one line do?
* Remember cocaine is illegal unless you have a job
* Be sure to try mixing it with soothing heroin. You might want to keep the purity of the heroin a surprise, because everyone loves surprises
* Don't be a fucking pussy, snort more, you fucking fag, snort it, go on, rock and fucking roll, asshole
* Try not to snort an odd number of cocaine molecules, as this is unlucky
* Make sure to rewrite your OK Cupid profile when as coked up as humanly possible, and remember that women love jerks, and assume all the women on the site are losers, and with these facts in mind, message all the girls in your area
* Make desperate phone calls to people you are pretty sure don't do any drugs, just on the off-chance they can score you more coke. Then in the morning, hold your head in your hands and weep, quietly, and look over at the baggie you emptied last night in a monster coke session. It looks like it's got a tiny bit in, right at the bottom. See it? A little bit of residue. You could stick your tongue in, that's it, right in, now look in the mirror and let the self-hatred settle in, attaboy
*Slap a Canadian because as you all know, it's all Canada's fault bad things happen in the first place.

==Crack==
[[File:Crackpiperoses.jpg|thumb|You'll need one or two of these]]
[[File:Chore boy.gif|thumb|Don't forget this]]
'''Crack''' was invented by The Man to keep the niggers down, or more accurately, get them really high and with the energy to steal our TVs. Gee, thanks, CIA.

It's a smokeable form of coke, and super-potent, super-fun, and child-friendly.

White people are not permitted to smoke crack.

===ON CRACK! as an old meme===
On the [[Internet]], you will occasionally encounter the sort of [[white|khaki-wearing]], Conan-watching [[fuckwit]] who still considers the phrase "on crack" to be hilarious. e.g., "She's running around like a rabbit... ON CRACK!!!" This is grounds for a violent [[permaban]] from your
[[flist]].
===Propecia, the Crack Ho===
Propecia is a crackhead who hosts an advice show which features guests who call her with white people questions. She then proceeds to provide a response from the point of view of the ordinary crackhead on the street. Let's watch, shall we?
<center><youtube>ZPYSvum4cdE</youtube></center>

===The Governments involvement in crack===
As can be seen below, the CIA uses the federal Pro-Narcotic group known as the WKUK to spread their newfound product to the inner city regions. WARNING! WHAT YOU SEE BELOW IS A DRAMATIC RECREATION OF ACTUAL EVENTS! DO NOT TRY AT HOME! APPROACHING WILD NIGRAZ WITH DRUGS MAY RESULT IN RAEP OR DEATH! THIS SHOULD ONLY BE ATTEMPTED BY LICENSED OFFICIALS AND GOVERNMENT AGENTS!!!
<center><youtube>-hg625n5RjM</youtube></center>

==Production==
[[File:COCAINE OPHTHALMIC.jpg|thumb|100px|Safe and legal]]
All cocaine in the world comes from [[Colombia]], [[Peru]], and [[Bolivia]]. You should refer to it as Bolivian Marching Powder, Columbian Supersalt, or Peruvian Nosecandy, if you want to be a proper cokehead. If you go to [[Colombia]] you will find that the natives live on a big mountain of cocaine, and every resident is an expert in its manufacture. This justifies dropping massive amounts of herbicide on the country from planes, which increases the price of cocaine and thus the profits of the suppliers, which helps win the [[war on drugs]]. If you disagree you [[hate America]].
Cocaine begins it's long journey to your nasal cavity as a cash crop grown mainly in [[shithole|Bolivia and Columbia]], where billionaire drug kingpins enslave entire nations by getting them all hooked on blow and then tricking them into working out in the fields, where they work effectively as they are on blow. [[V&|Provided they don't get raided by those meddling DEA agents and their drug sniffing German Shepherds]], the drug overlords of South America then have the goods tightly packaged and then surgically implanting them into the stomach of a [[loli]] for transportation into the states. This practice, known as drug muling, is a particularly brutal procedure that ultimately results in the [[pwnage]] of the loli, but what the fuck do I care I just want my motherfucking powder. The coke is then delivered to your friendly neighborhood drug dealer, who providing [[Rude|he doesn't try and rip you off by hacking at your friend's limbs with a chainsaw]], will sell you the goods so you can take them [[hookers and blow|to a hooker and snort it off her ass]].

== Famous People who have used Cocaine ==
* Every single famous person has done cocaine with Rob Lowe.

==Gallery==
{{Collapsegallery||Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Coke for kids.gif|These were popular among kids [[no more than 99]] years ago.
Image:2rddfgl.jpg|Nichole Richie loves her some coke
Image:oooooh_bamoot.jpg|cocaine is a hell of a drug
Image:CocaineTest.jpg|For some people, success means [[Hookers and blow|coke and hookers]].
Image:Pete doherty .jpg|[[Pete Doherty]] ready for takeoff

</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bushit.jpg|[[W]] does it
Image:CrackSnail2.jpg|Crack is also enjoyed by snails.
Image:cocaine-love.jpg|[[DO WANT]]
Image:Tom arnold.jpg
Image:Captions_-_Cocaine_Spider.gif
Image:Captions_-_Cocaine_Cat.jpg
Image:Cocaine_cat.gif
Image:Cocaine_-_Disney_-_Alice.gif
Image:Cocaine_-_Disney_-_Wendy.gif
Image:Cocaine_-_Disney_-_Snow_White.jpg
Image:Drugrd.gif
Image:jocksnortcoke.png|a [[jock]] snorting a line
Image:Cocaine_-_Board_Game.jpg
Image:Cocaine_Comix_03_1.jpg
Image:acidsnort.jpg
Image:Crab_&_Cocain_-_Feeling_It.jpg
Image:2vvmmbo.jpg
Image:Cocaine_-_Kids_Love_It.jpg
Image:Blackpowder.jpeg
Image:Cokeheadreportingin.jpg
Image:Chipmunk_Pipe.jpg
Image:Laci Green cutting.gif
</gallery>}}

==See Also==
*[[Digital Blackface]]
*[[Hookers and Blow]]
*[[You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack]]

{{Drugs}}
[[Category:IRL Shit]]

{{timeline|Featured article June 9th & 10th, [[2016]]|[[Coincidence Detector]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Anne Wheaton]]}}

{{Timeline|Featured article August 9 & August 10, [[2024]]|[[Florida]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Car]]}}

Car

2024-08-15T22:29:23Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
[[File:Carlove.jpg|thumb|300px|[[Rule 34|No exceptions]]]]
[[File:Serial Car Shitter At Large.jpg|thumb|300px|[[scat|Polishing the neighbor's car]]]]

'''Cars''' transport people from point A to point B and on weekends to point C. They provide protection against [[lion]]s and can also be used to run over [[16 year old Japanese schoolgirl|schoolchildren]], [[Sayfullo Saipov|filthy kaffir]], and other [[Pokemon|small mammals]]. They are the number one source of polluting the air and eating up natural resources, which is pretty [[awesome|useful]] for trolling [[Environmentalists|Greenpeace]]. Cars are the leading cause of death for [[Rob Levin]]{{jew}}.

Speaking of death, automobiles are '''the''' single most destructive piece of machinery ever conceived of by mankind. Resulting in nearly '''fifty thousand''' deaths every single '''year''' just within the United States alone. Worldwide the automobile has resulted in the hilarious slaughter of countless, untold '''millions''' since its inception and the death toll continues to spiral out of control. It is very possible that automobiles were in fact specifically designed and created as a form of "population control", which would explain ever increasing speed limits and the overall media blackout regarding the absolutely insane death toll behind them.

==Cars as Mechanisms of Compensation==

[[File:Porsche 911 GT3.jpg|thumb|The owner of this car has a VERY large {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}}.]]

[[Some argue]] the size of a man's {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}} can be determined by the value of his car. It is an inverse relationship, with a more expensive car indicating a smaller {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}}. The following formula can be used:

p = 1/c

Where p is the {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}} size in inches, and c is the cost of the car in thousands of dollars.
So, for example, someone with a $200,000 car would have a {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}} size of 1/200th of an inch.

However, there is an inherent flaw in this formula; a Chevy Suburban only costs about $35,000 but the men who buy large trucks like them have massive compensation complexes. While the owner of a $200,000 sports car is most likely only trying to compensate for his sexual prowess, the owners of these ridiculously large trucks are not only trying to compensate for his fail [[cock]], but also overall [[gay|masculinity]].

Additionally, one can purchase a used 1990 Ford Festiva for about $500 off of [[craigslist]]. The only sort of person who would even consider such a vehicle would be mentally deficient and sexually dysfunctional. Bragging about your $500 Festiva, Chevette, or Geo will not make people think you have a large {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}}.

In conclusion, penis size cannot be judged solely upon a man's car; however, ball size could be a different story - if a man has a $300,00 motor vehicle and a closet for a home, he may have nuts the size of Katrina. That being said, the writers of this section are [[Obvious|retards]] and hate to say it, Jelly.

==Cars by Country==
[[File:1958belvedere.jpg|thumb|180px|Big fins, big asses. [[GTFO|Go]] [[America]].]]
===[[American]] Cars===
[[File:Bentley with watermelon paintjob.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Blackmobile]]
Historically known for their utter shit design, looks, handling, fuel consumption, safety, and lack of steering. Oh, and exploding if hit [[In the ass|from the rear]]. Or impaling their drivers on the steering column in a low speed head-on. Or forcing the driver to visit [[DMV|hell]] to obtain one. And being ''Proudly Built in the USA'' which means the parts are made in China, assembled in Mexico, then topped with a plastic flag by an overpaid union worker in America.

{{cg|BORN IN THE U.S.A.|americancars|center|<gallery>
File:1996_chevrolet_camaro_z28_by_tr0llhammeren.jpg|The Chevrolet Camaro Z28, your quintessential American sports car, note the word "DEAD" written on the window. This one belongs to [[Gothzilla]].
File:1972_amc_gremlin_beater_by_tr0llhammeren.jpg|The AMC Gremlin, America's answer to hot hatchbacks. Note the similarities to the previous car.
File:Junky_Cadillac.jpg|American cars are known for requiring less maintenance and being better in general than those high maintenance European cars.
File:Beater_Bel_Air_by_TR0LLHAMMEREN.jpg|A beautiful gem from the glory days of the American auto industry. They just don't make 'em like they used to, eh?
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:%2770_Dodge_Challenger_R-T_(Cruisin%27_At_The_Boardwalk_%2710).jpg
File:Orange-tesla-roadster.png
File:Weeabocar.jpg
File:Adrushissenauto.jpg
</gallery>}}

===== American Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Ford:''' Also known to Chevy drivers as "Fix or repair daily" despite Chevys being just as shitty, if not sometimes worse, than Fords. Known primarily for the uncontrollable Mustang, the "shit on Ferrari" GT, and big ass trucks/SUVs to move fatass Americans from point A to point B.
*'''Chevrolet:''' Chevy is basically a cesspool of all of GM's poverty tier overseas models and they are almost always outdated by the time they come to market. Known primarily for the Camaro and Corvette, both are primitive but really the only two cars Chevy makes that can slip by with a pass.
*'''Dodge:''' Pretty much the bottom of the pack when it comes to the three big Americunt car brands. Their build quality is even worse than Chevy and their regular cars as a whole are so bad that they resort to building 700+ horsepower muscle cars to keep themselves relevant. Which is okay, I guess.
*'''RAM:''' Formerly part of the Dodge brand, they build trucks. Popular RAM trucks have [[Semen|Cummins]] diesel engines which needle dicked [[douchebag]]s turn into bro-dozers so they can roll coal all over town... unless they do it into the face of Prius driver while his window is down, only then is it acceptable.
*'''Chrysler:''' Basically take Dodge, trim the lineup to like three cars and throw a bunch of leather in them. (protip: they're still shit) Chrysler is known for the 300 which is the favored car of niggers all across the country alongside Cadillac's Escalade.
*'''Buick:''' A GM brand that is stuck in some lapse between Chevy and Cadillac, probably should have been killed years ago. The only buyers of Buicks are old people. [[No exceptions|End of story]].
*'''GMC:''' Take Chevy, delete anything that isn't a truck or SUV and badge engineer it. That's all GMC is.
*'''Cadillac:''' Used to build pretty cool land yachts and then went to shit in the 1970's. Cadillac isn't known for much now, exceptions are the V-Series which are powerful as fuck, and the Escalade which niggers either steal new from soccer moms or buy used when they are 10 years old and within the limit of a welfare check.
*'''Lincoln:''' See Buick except with Ford as the parent company.
*'''Jeep:''' Builds overpriced and depending on where you look, ridiculously ill equipped SUVs. Yes, the Wrangler is good off road but do [[Dumbass|their owners]] know that? Nope. Jeeps stopped going off road after World War II and onto mall parking lots. Favorite of lesbians, gay republicans, and REI fags.
*'''Tesla:''' Run by a guy that may or may not be a supervillain. Tesla is unique in that it's American and they only make electric cars. It's almost like finding out Kenny Rodgers is gay and vegan.

===[[Australian]] Cars===
AU hasn't quite gotten the message from the US: Big, overpowered RWD sedans with very little sophistication are old news. Aussies must be given credit where credit is due however, as they did take half of a sedan and glue it to a truck bed, calling it a '[[Shithole|ute]]'.

===== Australian Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Holden:''' Pretty much the only car company native to Australia, unless you count Ford, whose AU branch is almost unrelated to the main company. The Chevy SS is in fact a Holden, which goes to show how Chevy can't figure out how to build anything that isn't a Corvette on their own now.

===[[British]] Cars===

[[File:Morgan AeroMax.jpg|thumb|A century has passed, and this is all that Britain has to offer.]]

Aston Martin, Jaguar, Lotus, Land Rover, Caterham, and the [[Nazi|BMW]]-owned Mini are the pinnacle of British automotive innovation. Mind you, until very recently the first two were largely assembled from the leftover parts bin at Ford. However, it must be noted that the Morgan AeroMax (seen at right) still contains something from the 1300s: a wood-beam ceiling.
[[At least 100 years ago]] until the [[Feminazi|Margret Thatcher]] era. British cars were British. However are now American, Indian, [[World War II|German, Japanese and Italian]].
Though if we look into times past (British Leyland-era), most British cars were as appealing and well-made as the current United States line-up. Then again, Vauxhall is the same as Opel, which in turn is the same thing as Chevy, and they're just as shit.

{{cg|Good Old Cars From Jolly Old England|britishcars|center|<gallery>
File:2002_aston_martin_vanquish_junk.jpg|Aston Martin is world-renowned for making long-lasting quality sports cars, like this 2002 Aston Martin Vanquish.
File:Jeremy_Clarkson_in_a_Jaguar_XJS_Celebration.jpg|Jaguars are more popular with [[Redneck|rednecks]] than other British cars, due to their [[crap|simplistic]] design and off-road capabilities.
File:Gothzillas_photography_Jaguar_XJS.jpg|You don't often see V12 sports cars broken down and abandoned in parking lots, but when you do, they're usually Jaguars (photo by [[Gothzilla]]).
File:Jaguar_Interior.jpg|Jaguars are known for their plush, luxuriously-trimmed interiors, with real leather and wood. The Queen even has one for personal use.
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:1987-Jaguar-XJ-S-Down-on-the-Junkyard.jpg|Jaguar, "Performance and engineering you can rely on."
File:Junkyard_Jaguar_V12_Badge.jpg|The massive Jaguar HE V12 produced 318 horsepower in 1997, the same year GM's small block LS1 V8 made 325 horsepower.
</gallery>|}}

===== British Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Jaguar:''' Now owned by India's Tata in a [[Lulzy|decidedly sick]] twist of fate. Admittedly, their cars are good looking and quite quick but don't expect your JAAAAAAAG to survive the daily drive to work each time.
*'''Land Rover:''' Former god-tier off roader manufacturer that turned to making expensive, unreliable luxobarges that can ford a river if you happen to come across one on your way to Starbucks. Half of Land Rover's lineup are now crossovers which goes to show how badly Tata fucked them up.
*'''Bentley:''' Owned by Volkswagen and shares a [[No|surprising]] number of parts with Audi's and whatnot. Their cars are, huge, gaudy and terribly unreliable. Also known for the Bentayga, which is quite possibly the ugliest, most tasteless SUV ever built.
*'''Rolls Royce:''' Big surprise coming up, Rolls is owned by BMW! Essentially what that means now is you're buying a 7-series with weird doors that makes you look like even more of a cunt.
*'''Caterham:''' Kit car manufacturer, build it yourself or have them do it if you're too fucking lazy. [[Maybe|Fun]] cars but they have no practical use whatsoever.
*'''Mini:''' Also owned by BMW and all they've done really is make them a bit bigger and bigger over the years. Modern Mini drivers are either hipsters or ricers with no knowledge that something called a Volkswagen Golf exists.
*'''TVR:''' Sports car manufacturer that makes cars more likely to snap your neck than get you safely to where you're going. As with all British cars, TVRs are unreliable but they get more demerits for [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sCuvWlheco| making no fucking sense whatsoever]. Because of this, TVRs are impossible to steal.
*'''Morgan:''' Small volume sports car manufacturer that still makes cars out of fucking wood. They also still look like they were built in the early 1900's. What the actual...
*'''Aston Martin:''' The only well known British manufacturer that didn't sell out to another company... well they did once to Ford and as you would expect, those years were ehhhh at best. Their cars are pretty [[Lie|gud]] for the most part, British reliability aside and tendency to cause owners to start channeling their inner Sean Connery aside.
*'''Lotus:''' They build expensive, tiny ass cars powered by engines out of family sedans with ride height inches away from dragging your ass across the pavement.
*'''Vauxhall:''' See Opel.

===[[Canadian]] Cars===
Introducing an automotive disaster of truly [[epic]] proportions: the Bricklin. Manufactured and assembled in [[viking|New Brunswick]], designed and championed by the designer of the [[ugly|original TV Batmobile]], powered by a [[fail|Ford]] V8, and headed by [[retard|highly competent]] members of the [[fat|CEO's]] own [[orgy|family]], this [[shit|car]] is certainly a perfect storm of fail.
The [[Canada|Canadian]] Provincial government was so [[drunk|impressed]] by this horseless carriage that they decided to provide $4.5 million dollars to finance the [[419|operation]]. [[shit bricks|Bricklin]] actually used this money to [[Molest|pay]] their family.
The [[turd|crowning jewel]] was the immediate [[money|revenues]]: each [[queef|Bricklin]] cost the company $16,000 to build. They then [[scam|sold]] them to dealerships for $5,000, [[win|effectively losing 2 cars for every car sold]]. This was in the 70's, so factor inflation, and today they would build a [[fail|car]] for [[divide by zero|$23,000,000 and sell it for $5.17]].

Embedding a single image simply will no do this [[suicide|worthy business venture]] justice. Please [[hax|visit]]: http://bricklinautosport.com/

*[[ZEN|ZENN]]
ZENN is not just a really [[crap|cool]] brand name, [[loser]], it's a crazy-[[dumb|smart]] [[acronym]] for Zero [[Jizz|Emissions]] No [[ICP|Noise]]. Fuck yeah! You don't pay out the big bucks for a name like that without a killer credo:

Since [[man]] first began to walk, we have dreamed of the fucking righteous [[sex|feeling of movement]]. Cars hath given us mobility, but at the cost pollution and [[Sand Nigger|oil dependancy]]. O noes! ZENN is all about getting back to that [[buttsecks|feeling of movement]]. [[lie|ZENN looks like a car]], but [[scam|refuses to work like one]]. ZENN will [[noise|quietly]] change the way you think about [[nigga stole my bike|getting from A to B]]. ZENN is truly [[retarded|enlightened mobility]].

Now tell me you don't want a blue one!
It is powered by [[i see what you did there|ZENNergy]] technologies and solutions, so you know it kicks fat piles of ass. The company [[fag|founder]] is a photographer-turned-internet marketing failure, so you know he has the credentials to create a vehicle to navigate the super [[1337]] 400-series highway system; he rode a fucking vacuum to work while impregnating [[your mom]]. Genius, really, considering that traffic has not gotten abover 13 km/h on those failroads in over 25 years.
Oddly enough, the [[swirlface|CFO]] just left the company to persue other [[loli|business interests]]. They are looking to hire a new one, so if 3 shiny loonies and an ass full of [[cum]] every day is better than what [[you]] currently earn, [http://www.zenncars.com/ the job is yours]. Trust me.

===Chinese Cars===
Chinese cars are primarily knockoffs of big name cars but with drastically shittier build quality. Big surprise. This is because the cars they design themselves end up exactly like the one below:

<center><youtube>D827IxEJVS4</youtube></center>

{{quote|Where did it go?||Buddhanate, YouTube}}

===[[Egypt]]ian Cars===
No such thing, since, like other [[Terrorist|Islamic]] nations, Egyptians [[Retard|lack the brain functions]] necessary to design cars. Because of this, all the cars in Egypt today are [[Fail|copied]] [[Italian|Russian]] [[Shit|designs]].

===[[French]] Cars===
Small, cheap, easily made, utter shit, global platforms. Those are some terms used to describe [[French]] cars, like the Citroen and Peugeot lines. On top of making wretched little shitboxes that fall apart if you look at them funny, French car makers aren't smart enough to figure out that if you give your car the name "fuego" it probably shouldn't have a habit of catching fire. Renault is as bad, despite claiming to be good, they LIE! Your car will fall apart as you leave the Dealers.

===== French Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Peugeot:''' They make about a million different models and they're all cheap shit. Peugeots are the cars driven by people who should be executed if they were caught behind the wheel of any motor vehicle. If you happen to be in Europe and see a Peugeot, cover your brake pedal.
*'''Renault:''' These are basically Nissans powertrains stuffed into French cars with retarded ass names like Twingo, or Twizy. At least credible for the Espace F1 which was basically a minivan with a fucking Formula 1 drivetrain in it for the lulz.
*'''Bugatti:''' Used to make huge luxury cars that were practically rolling works of art. Now VW owns them and all they make are ugly ass 250+ mile per hour cock wafting machines that run out of gas in twelve minutes at top speed.
*'''Citroen:''' Points earned for actually being distinguishable from other French cars. Demerits for being really, REALLY fucking weird.

===[[Germany|German]] Cars===
[[File:Bmw gina concept car.jpg|thumb|left|A BMW [[Vagina|GINA]], made entirely of fabric and fail.]]
They cost a shit load of money and are not worth it. However, you do get the satisfaction of looking cool and driving a car built with the blood and tears of 6 million [[Jews]]. The [[Shamwow|Germans always make good stuff]], and are always looking for the most insane number of horsepower and top speed to shove into their $2,000,000 RWD coupes. And Mercedes doesn't have the A-class, nor have they ever made any cheap cars in the past. Also the phaeton isn't a hatchback, but the GTI would indeed be cheap for a performance car. And Mercedes build quality is cheap they just make you pay out the ass for them.
*Only [[1337]] people drive them.
*That [[nerd]] in high school you beat the living shit out of? He has five of them.
*They give American cars a run for their money in [[fail|falling apart]]. Generally, by catching up 10-15 years later. 

{{cg|Germany|Germany|center|<gallery>
File:BMW_1_Series.jpg
File:BMW_3_Series.jpg
File:BMW_8_Series.jpg
File:BMW_Driver_1.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:BMW_Driver_2.jpg
File:BMW_X4.jpg
File:BMW_X5.jpg
File:BMW_X6.jpg
File:BMW_Z4.jpg
File:Pink_BMW_Z4.jpg
</gallery>
}}

===== German Car Manufacturers =====
*'''BMW:''' They make probably close to billion different variations of the same car and can't realize that having four-doors isn't a "coupe". BMWs have no blinkers, are unreliable, and their owners are generally double parking pieces of shit who deserve to be keyed.
*'''Audi:''' Like BMW's boring, more sophisticated cousin. Audi's don't have anything distinctly special about them. They all kind of look the same, drive pretty well, and will catastrophically break down once you get close to 100,000 miles on the clock.
*'''Volkswagen:''' Founded by Nazis and they pretty much own every single car brand on the planet. None of the cars they make are particularly remarkable although if you want to piss off greenies, buy a TDI. You won't regret it.
*'''Mercedes-Benz:''' Popular with niggers and dumb white girls alike, Mercs are basically the car you buy if you wan't to tell the world you've made it, even though you really haven't since everybody and their mother has one. They somehow manage to be more unreliable than BMWs and look at least twice as vulgar.
*'''Smart:''' Those fucking tiny ass death mobiles are German? Yeah, Mercedes owns them for some fucking reason. The name apparently means Swatch Mercedes ART. I don't get it either.
*'''Porsche:''' There is no substitute.
*'''Opel:''' Opel basically shits out every single car that you can buy from Chevy or Buick in the US. They are generally shit, and as a result the golden bowtie fits them remarkably well.

===[[Italian]] Cars===
[[File:Lamborghini On Fire.JPG|thumb|left|A relaxing drive in an Italian car.]]
Devilishly handsome good looks, speed, power and a fantastic noise; though they're almost certainly going to break before you get them off the dealer's lot. Alfa Romeos and Fiats are good examples of "shoddy craftsmanship". Fiat however must be noted as one that fails to learn from history, as it is currently in talks with the American Chrysler Corp and the European Opel (Which owns Vauxhall and is owned by General Motors) to '''BUY THEM OUTRIGHT'''. Fiat would single-handedly dominate the world market by the purchase of two near-defunct companies. No estimated values have been placed on the talks, though [[some argue]] it's upwards of $3.3 Billion USD.
{{clear}}

{{cg|Italy|Italy|center|<gallery>
File:What-is-this-faggot-car.jpg
File:Multiplacancer.jpg|Fiat Multipla, The best looking car in the world, with a cancer on top of it as cabin
</gallery>|<gallery>

</gallery>
}}

===== Italian Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Fiat:''' The quintessential Italian shitbox manufacturer. They are unreliable and pretty hideous to look at despite being billed "charming". They only have one remotely interesting car but it's just a Miata with an engine that will break down shortly after you drive it off the lot.
*'''Lancia:''' Used to be good and kicked ass in rally. Now literally all their cars are rebadged Chryslers and as you may remember, Chrysler translates to shit.
*'''Alfa Romeo:''' They make what are widely considered to be the most beautiful cars on the planet and they may be right. Alfas look fantastic, even when they're smoking on the side of the road.
*'''Maserati:''' Again like Lancia, Maserati used to mean something... minus the Biturbo. Now their cars are overpriced, new-money douchebag mobiles that lose nearly all their value once you put ten miles on the odometer. Seriously, the Ghibli is a piece of shit and you could have a much better, fully optioned 5-series for less.
*'''Lamborghini:''' Along with Ferrari, Lambos are essentially "Generic Rich Guy Car No.2". They're owned by Audi now so literally any distinction of them being Italian is lost by the Germans diluting them to the point that real enthusiasts don't give a shit about them anymore. Burn just as well as Ferraris.
*'''Ferrari:''' Performance charcoal manufacturer. Ferrari brand charcoal is distinct by it's bright red color and extremely long burn duration. To light your Ferrari brand charcoal, just hit the big red ignition button. Now enjoy a authentic Italian barbecue experience!
*'''Pagani:''' Hand built cars with engines supplied by AMG. These things are fucking ridiculous, no other words necessary.

===[[Japanese]] Cars===

[[Azn]]s drive these, but only after painting them neon yellow, gluing on plastic body kits, and slapping a sticker with some [[moonspeak]] symbol on the hood. Asian drivers constitute the only group of people who defy the above compensation equations, etc., etc., and the joke writes itself.
They are cheap, slow, and overrated.

{{cg|Japan|Japan|center|<gallery>
File:Honda-CLARITY.jpg|A shitty [[Honda]]
File:89HondaAccordCoupeSA1.jpg
File:Wrx n female.jpg
File:OH MY GOD IS THAT A SHITPRA.jpeg|Show this to a Toyota fanboy and watch him [[cum]] while screaming SHITPRA!!!!
</gallery>|<gallery>

</gallery>
}}

===== Japanese Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Toyota:''' They are considered to be the most boring cars on the planet. If anybody tells you that they love how "sporty" their Camry is or shit like that, they're a fucking retard. Toyota has only made a handful of relatively fun cars, namely the [[Gay|GT86]] and the [[Fag|Supra]], both of which ultimately get fucked up by their ricer owners.
*'''Lexus:''' Basically Toyata wanted to get on some of [[Holocaust|the action the Krauts were having]] and created a luxury brand. The sad reality is that Lexus is only marginally less boring than Toyota and lately to compensate, modern Lexus's have went for absurdly jagged and aggressive styling. Like most Jap cars, Lexus's are pretty much unkillable, the only plus they have against the Germans.
*'''Nissan:''' Nissan is basically the same as Toyota except that they're only slightly more competent in making cars people actually want to buy. They have built decades of ricer porn in the forms of the Fairlady Z, 240SX, and the Skyline GT-R and ricers jack off to them as a ritual. Then there's the Juke... and the Cube... yeah...
*'''Infinti:''' Oh shit, if Toyota can do it, Nissan can to! There isn't anything inherently wrong with Infiniti apart from the fact that their owners almost always seem to fuck up their cars, namely if it's a G35 or G37. The rest of their cars are just soccer mom mobiles and might as well not exist.
*'''Honda:''' Actually no, Honda is the most boring car manufacturer on the planet. Their interiors are about as luxurious as a Moroccan jail cell and they have no feel when driven. Killing yourself is more exciting than driving a Honda. On the plus side, Hondas are indestructible and have [[Shit|VTEC]], that's literally all they have going for them.
*'''Acura:''' More like FAGura. Honda tried to compete with Lexus and Infiniti; the result is just as stale as a regular Honda but with the added shitty feeling of knowing you're driving something that's supposed to be on par with the [[Germany|Aryan race]] but fails in every possible way.
*'''Mazda:''' Mazda is like the only Japanese car company that doesn't give a fuck about what the Germans or the other Azn brands are doing and built cars that don't make you want to kill yourself when you drive them, but the Miata is still a fag car regardless of how many track days you take yours on. Also famous for the 787B which might as well produce the sound [[God]] makes when jacks off.
*'''Mitsubishi:''' So out of touch with the times that they might as well become an hero. They discontinued everything that was remotely okay and now they only produce shitty econoboxes and crossovers.
*'''Subaru:''' Basically a shill for Toyota and vice versa but renowned for fucking everybody up in WRC. Primarily known for the WRX STI which has been making Lancer Evo fanbois rage since the beginning of time.
*'''Scion:''' <s>Youth geared brand by Toyota that ended up being bought primarily by 40+ year old Mexicans. The cars were shit either way.</s> SCION IS KILL. HOLD F TO PAY RESPECTS.

===[[Korean]] and [[Malaysia|Malaysian]] Cars===
Cheap does not equal cheerful here. They're shoddy, they wouldn't last as long as an Alfa Romeo 147 and they're painstakingly slow. The only benefit of owning a Korean or Malaysian car is the bottom line cost - they're cheaper than a pair of socks.

With these cars, and the price of fuel nowadays, it is usually more cost effective to just buy a new car, rather than fill up the tank of the old one. This coincides nicely with the fact that the car probably won't make it long enough to fill up the tank a second time anyway.

===== Korean Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Hyundai:''' Basically Korea's equivalent of Toyota and just as uneventful. Like I can't even think of anything more to say about Hyundai because there isn't anything else to fucking say about them. They build cars I guess.
*'''Kia:''' Kia is a part of Hyundai and might as well just be a CTRL-C CTRL-V of them, they build roughly the same cars. Kia's only distinction is they made the car that effectively killed Scion called the Soul and advertised it with a bunch of goddamn [[Furries|giant hamsters]].
*'''Genesis:''' Hyundai's luxury brand that aims to attack Mercedes is a less half assed way than Lexus. Their cars are essentially ripoffs of Mecedes but with a gaping ass grille on them.

===[[Mexican]] Cars===

Really? Does this need to be explained? The only cars Mexicans can even call their own are the shitbuses they take over the border before big bad Border Patrol blows them to Kingdom Cum.

===[[Russian]] Cars===

[[File:Lada.jpg|thumb|LADA, synonymous with [[fail]].]]
[[File:Ladavesta.jpg|thumb|Lada Vesta, the definition of a boring car]]
[[File:russian_car_ZiL.jpg|thumb|A tribute to Russia's legendary automaking. That's the 2011 model. Seriously.]]

The Soviets never did make a car that could outrun a Ford. Unless you pronounce the car manufacturers by their acronym, their car will reach their 0-100 km/h mark, which should be around 1 hour before you finish. The brand names are also mindfuckingly long, for example UAZ actually means ''Ulyanovsky Avtomobilny Zavod'' and if you want a model, you're in bad luck: all their models are named in numbers rather than actual names. But then again, why would you buy a Soviet made car, anyway?

Nowadays though the situation is a little different. Most of the brands are now aquired by Renault and Nissan. At least the new Russian cars are as cheap and well built as [[Top Gear|Dacia Sanderos]]

{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>Nd5ka91fkDo</youtube><center>'''A car that is a [[you|complete useless piece of shit]].'''</center>}}
}}

{{clear}}

===== Russian Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Marussia:''' Russian supercar manufacturer. I don't even want to know.
*'''Dartz:''' Known for making the most expensive SUVs on the planet. Powered by AMG engines, these monstrosities are the definition of excessive. Still not sure? WHALE PENIS LEATHER SEATS.
*'''Lada:''' Basically makes all the cars in Russia that aren't Kia Sportages or stolen Mercedes. 99.9% of Ladas are Cold War era Soviet models that haven't changed a bit since they first came to market.
*'''UAZ:''' Basically the same as Lada but they primarily make trucks and vans. Just as shit if you hadn't already figured that out.

===[[Spanish]] cars===
Since Seat is owned by VW, no Spanish car exists. It's German.

===== Spanish Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Seat:''' Pronounced "SE-AHT" not "Seat" you fucking degenerate. As stated above, Seat only makes rebadges of Volkswagens therefore no Spanish car exists.

===[[Swedish]] Cars===
[[File:Saabtrollsticker.png|thumb]]
Aside from Saab and [[Vulva|Volvo]], they're impossible to spell but [[mindfuck]]ingly fast. Mainly because they're built with [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koenigsegg_CCX#Engine American] engines.
Typical Swedish car features include:
*Dihedral Synchro-Helix Actuation Doors
*Auto-stopping
*a Swedish Meatball maker
*[[Muppets|BORK BORK BORK]]!
*Free ABBA/[[Basshunter]]/Robyn CDs
<center>[[File:Sex on Hood.jpg|400px]] 
'''Swedish cars are good for one thing though'''</center>
{{clear}}

===== Swedish Car Manufacturers =====
*'''Saab:''' Dead. Maybe. Nobody really seems to know. Right now the brand seems to be traded around and ass fucked by a bunch of different companies nowadays with no cars having been made.
*'''Volvo:''' Owned by the Chinese but that hasn't affected them too much because both parties are probably aware that Chinese and Volvo do not go hand in hand. Expensive and pretty bland but also a poor choice for killing yourself in. Volvos are fucking tanks.
*'''Koenigsegg:''' Makes fast as fuck supercars that are infinitely better than the ugly as fuck Veyron. Also known for "Dihedral Synchro-Helix Actuation Doors" just to rub it in your face that you're poor and you can't have cool shit.

==Types of Cars==

===Convertibles===
[[File:Fat guy in car.jpg|thumb|Typical convertible owner out for a spin in their fagmobile.]]

Convertibles are for the [[asshole|person who likes to show off his money]]. Most convertibles are purchased by [[old]] men in the midst of their mid-life crisis, or raging Homosexuals (see: the [[azn|Mazda Miata]] or the [[Nazi|VW New Beetle]]). [[No|They're stylish to be seen in]], but you're not stylish if you own one.

===Coupes===
Coupes are cars for people who got to the dealership and had a big "[[wat]]" appear over their heads. They couldn't get a sedan because it was too boring, they couldn't afford a sports car, they thought that hatchbacks were too [[Eurotrash]]y, and convertibles were too gay, so they just got a two-door sedan. Coupes are basically the median point of the automotive world, and overall more desirable due to their sporty appearance. It should be said though, that a coupe has most of the same mechanical components from a boring sedan, and thus it will not always perform as good as it looks.

===Electric/Hybrid Cars===
Invented [[at least 100]] years ago, electric vehicles are [[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH|POW POW POWER WHEELS]] for adults (aka fatter kids with bills). Ancientfags would recognize them as model trains or slotcars for adults. [[Acronym|EVs]] are vehicles that have no internal combustion engine so they fail at gassing Jews, suicides, improving the Beijing skyline, or [[global warming|terraforming Earth]] for [[Reptoid|the lizard people]]. But they do have the added benefit of being silent but deadly road assassins.

They more than likely require nothing more than good old [[electricity]] and have a metric ton of batteries inside of them. The most common on planet Earth; the [[wikipedia:REVA|Reva G-Wiz i]], has the top speed of 30mp/h and can only go 40 miles or so on a full charge. They're expensive to run, and if you run out of power it takes between [[Forever|8-12]] hours to recharge. More often than not they're also unsafe, ugly, and simply dreadful to own. However, [[Electricity#Tesla|Tesla]] is certainly changing things up in [[California]]; basing their first creation- the Tesla Roadster- off of a Louts Elise, and giving it power to run faster than one. At a starting cost of [[OVER 9000|$109,000]], it had damn well better. At least nissan's making a car called the leaf which is about 4 times cheaper than the tesla and can go 100 miles on a single charge and has a top speed of about 65 mph. The only bad thing about it is that is loooks like a piece of shit.

Hybrid Cars are a bit of a different story. Sure they've got the electric power to get you going, but they've also got a normal gasoline/diesel/biofuel/[[USI]] engine to boot, giving you power and economy. This idea was perpetuated in the late [[90s]] by [[Japan|Toyota]], with their offering of the [[Boring|Prius]]. At the time there wasn't much efficiency to it, but in [[2002]] things changed and Prius II came along, and showed [[Greenpeace]] that hybrids were indeed cool. The Bush Crisis in Iraq happened, and the Prius was suddenly viewed more valuable than gold, alcohol, drugs and virginity all in one sitting. People in other offices caught word and Ford put out its two options, the SUV Escape and the ever-fun Fusion; both hybrids. Chrysler tried miserably and failed with its only offering, a mild-hybrid extra large luxury SUV, the [[wikipedia:Chrysler Aspen|Aspen Hybrid]]. The General tried its best with some mild-hybrid SUVs, and gave Saturn, its yuppie division, a hybrid sedan and compact SUVs; both were just renamed [[Europe]]an models. The hybrid wars wage on, with Government Motors launching its electric-driven hybrid, the [[wikipedia:Chevy Volt|Chevy Volt]] in 2010, and [[Honda]] has begun to launch the [[Retard|Insight2.0]] in 'murrica. Steer clear. Luxury companies like Lexus, Mercedes-Benz and BMW have their own ranges of hybrid vehicles, but again, steer clear. Hybrids are best suited towards a lot of stop and start city driving, and are not truly useful on highways. They are however, quite useful for looking like a complete tool.

===Hatchbacks/Station Wagons===
Hatchbacks are favored by [[Europeans]], [[liberals]], and [[vegetarians]], who like the fact that the back seats fold down to allow for lots of gay, pedophiliac [[sex]] and [[drug]] use. They also love that their hatchbacks get 500 kilometers to the liter, since they're all treehugging [[leftards]]. To maximize this economy, they drive ploddingly slow. This is called "hypermiling" or "being an inconsiderate jackass". Ironically, this kind of driving not only irritates everyone else, it causes those in less efficient cars to accelerate hard to get around the jerk, thus negating any overall fuel efficiency.

Station wagons were popular back in the [[At least 100 years ago|good old days]] when people fucked like jackrabbits and had shitloads of kids. Thus, a large ass vehicle with a small block V8 was required to haul them around, after [[wat|folding metal chairs were added]], of course. Nowadays, 'wagons' are built mainly for single metrosexuals, and come with [[fail|four cylinder engines]].

===Luxury Cars===
Luxury is a mindset, and if your mind is fixated on caviar, dripping jewels and super models, you can't NOT be seen in a luxury car. Names like Mercedes-Benz, Bentley, Rolls-Royce, Cadillac, Lincoln, Lexus, and Infiniti define the luxury world. Others include BMW, Audi and of course, Alfa-Romeo. Beauty, safety and convenience are things a luxury car are never without, as most can rub your balls with the push of a button. They are extremely expensive and have a lot of really unique features, always trimmed in wood, dead cow and fluffy carpets. There is a luxury hierarchy that must be followed, and it's proportionate to the window sticker's price tag. The more you spend, the more luxury you get, or so they make you think. Cars like the [[wikipedia:Lexus RX|Lexus RX]] series; a largely popular over-sized and under-powered station wagon, are not truly luxurious, as their brand and high price suggest.

===Pickup Trucks===
[[File:F150.gif|thumb|Pickups are known for their [[lie|safety and innovation]]]]
The Pickup, or as 'murricans say, Truck, is an extremely inefficient, large, bulky vehicle that is ultimately an SUV with a separate, uncovered storage compartment behind the second row of seats. Pickup Trucks are most commonly sold in America, in developing nations, and in [[Australia]] called Utes. Their primary function is to carry large, bulky objects; such as tools for building, fixing and mending and [[your mom]] and thus are desired mainly by the working class; ie: [[Mexicans]], day laborers, and contractors. They were designed to be rugged, and were for many years, until SUVs came into the world.

The Pickup Truck became quite the pinnacle of luxury in the mid [[2000]]s, when [[Expensive|Cadillac]] released the [[Fugly|Escalade EXT]], a [http://www.my-car-picture.com/image-files/04-chevy-avalanche.jpg Chevy Avalanche] styled to look like a [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b9/Tuned_GMT800_Cadillac_Escalade.jpg standard Escalade]. At a sale price of [[WTF|$68,000]], the EXT was found in every episode of [[16 year old girl|MTV's "Cribs"]] and was perhaps arguably the most ostentatious failure ever.

A variety of pickup truck commonly known as a "bro-dozer" is essentially any pickup, preferably a diesel, cheaply lifted with shitty rims and big offroad tires that make more road noise than the coal rolling exhaust system itself. Afterwards, a shitty paintjob and lots of Autozone chrome bits are added along with a light bar that never gets turned on for obvious reasons. Bro-dozers cannot off road since it would likely break their shitty suspension setup and get the truck dirty because you know, having a clean truck totally isn't the sign of a poser.

===Sedans===
Everyone and their mom owns a sedan. Sedans have [[boring|four doors with a trunk]]. They can be expensive or cheap, slow or fast, but they all have some things in common: they're more boring than a sports car, less useful than a hatchback, and end up being worth less than a convertible when you go to sell it. Basically, the perfect car for [[you|pathetic failures]]. Sedans are the most common vehicle on the road.

===Sports Cars===
Sports cars are primarily intended for people who wish that they were race car drivers but aren't skilled enough to drive a race car. Despite this, most sports cars get purchased by people who don't actually care about driving, but want to look like [[Unwarranted Self Importance|they spent a lot of money on their car]], most commonly occurs with [[German|BMW]] M series indeed cost a lot of money, although you're right about the people who drive them.

===Muscle Cars===
Muscle cars are an American offspring of traditional sports coupes that trade real handling and performance for nothing but raw power and top speed. High displacement V8 engines that get shit gas mileage are mounted into a big, heavy two door body made to look as [[Gay|masculine]] as possible for the sole purpose of making a lot of noise and making the driver look like the douchebag he is. Unlike regular sports coupes, muscle cars cannot handle. Any road isn't a straight line will cause the car to immediately spin out and take out a crowd of people. Despite the common knowledge that muscle cars are unsafe, American car manufacturers continue to churn out new versions with even more powerful engines, such as the 707 horsepower Challenger Hellcat for no fucking reason at all unless Dodge, Ford, and Chevy have a secret Darwinist plan to exterminate rednecks via natural selection.

Also worth nothing that if a muscle car has anything other than a V8 in it, it's no longer considered a true muscle car or as people outside of America view it; still shit.

===SUVs===
An SUV, or "Soft Utilitarian Vehicle", is a large boxy vehicle driven most commonly by rich, white-collar business criminals and Botox-filled soccer moms in the suburban sprawl. With their large V8 engines and all wheel drive, [[some argue|most would agree]] that these vehicles are best suited towards outdoorsy activities, like trailing or towing a boat; however, they are most commonly found at your local [[Wal-Mart]] in the handicapped parking space, loading up on bulk Chef Boyardee, [[fat|fryer grease]] and [[cheap]] LCD TVs. The average [[McDonalds|McFatty]] Americunt finances their $[[OVER 9000|52,000]] [[lie|"luxury"]] through a Jew, and thus it is not even owned by them. Famous SUVs include the [[Wigger|Cadillac Escalade]], [[Fag|Range Rover Sport HSE]] and of course, the [[Fail|Ford Exploder]].

===Crossovers===
Unlike regular SUVs like a Chevy Shitburban, crossovers are not truck based, not body on frame and are built on sedan platforms with a unibody design. This was done to appeal to soccer moms who didn't want something that handled like the alcoholic father's F-150, sort of like a middle ground between a minivan and a regular SUV. As a result they are completely useless off road compared to body on frame SUVs despite the bullshit "rugged" appearance used to woo [[Fake|outgoing millenials]] who in reality don't even know what dirt looks like, but no matter because nobody takes SUVs off road anymore. The added ride height makes them more of a pain in the ass for kids opposed to a station wagon or minivan. Also being built on sedan platforms, you'd like to think they handle like a sedan too until the added ride height paired and top heavy body rolls you into a ditch when you go around a corner.

Interestingly enough being the dumbasses most car buyers are, when gas got cheap again crossover sales dramatically spiked because of the mindset "bigger vehicle means worse gas mileage" even though crossovers typically get only marginally worse MPG compared to their sedan counterparts. When gas gets expensive again, mom is going to want to sell her all of a sudden "gas guzzling Toyota Highlander" and buy a fucking Camry for no goddamn reason at all. Crossovers are shit and the people who buy them are idiots, end of story.

=== Tanks ===
Tanks are used to blow up indigenous villages and run over [[Chinese]] people when they get out of line.

* Excellent for playing "[[war]]".
* You need to get one.
* [[killdozer|Perfect for getting revenge on all those pinheads on the zoning board.]]
* Use your tank to protect yourself from those [[Palestinian]] protesters throwing rocks.
* [[DO IT|DO IT NOW]].

===Vans===
Vans (sometimes [[V&]]) come in two sizes: "mini" (your average American family; 3 kids and a dog) and "full-sized" (12 seats - great for the average [[Christian]] American family). Minivans are popular among moms who don't want to look like [[MILF]]s, and among [[Christian]] families who [[batshit insane|like to engage in family sing alongs on their way to church]]. Full-sized vans are also popular among - surprise! - [[pedophiles]], [[work|plumbers]] and of course, the [[FBI]]. Vans will always have at least one insane person inside, likely in the back.

== Driving Your Car ==

=== On Road Courtesy ===
Although [[Britney_Spears|Britney Spears]] would have you believe otherwise, shaving your head does not allow you to attempt to run over [[woman|people]], even if they are paparazzi with no souls. Although tempting, it is illegal to use your car to hit pedestrians. The reason for this is you may incur expensive panel damage to your car.

Once behind the wheel of a car, it is important to be courteous to [[fags|other motorists]]. To avoid slowing traffic down and creating an accident, you should change lanes quickly and without looking or indicating. In fact the quicker you change lanes the better, ideally you should aim to change lanes so fast that the passengers in your car are unaware that it has happened. To do this effectively you should offer no warning and do no checks before violently snapping the steering wheel in the direction you want to go and snapping it back to level up, after this just act casual. If the car behind is upset with you apologize by giving them the (highway code approved) drivers sign. Open the window and hold up your fist with your middle finger showing. Then repeatedly slam on the brakes to indicate that you are sorry. Lastly, always try to have a good buzz going before you get behind the wheel, the roads can be stressful; why not loosen up for everyone else's sake?

=== Car Features ===
[[File:Shooting accident.jpg|thumb|How cars become deathtraps while driving through [[nigger|ghetto]] territory]]
If your car has been purchased within the last few years it may come with a variety of modern innovative features.
* Windows, where installed, are necessary to allow your passengers to easily bark at pedestrians for the [[lulz]].
* Race Signals, usually incorrectly called "Hazard Lights", are installed so you can communicate your intention to race a fellow motorist in a "Random Battle".
* Indicators are fitted to both sides of your car, so that you are able to confuse [[feminism|fellow motorists]], thus creating an opportunity to change lanes.
* A stereo system may come fitted to allow you to draw attention to the fact that you like [[cock|Drum N Bass]]
* A handbrake is commonly misused as a "Parking Brake", but its real purpose is to allow a skilled driver to [[wank|Drift]]

==Transmission==

Ability to operate a manual transmission or [[transgender|Tranny]], as they are affectionately known, is one of the key reasons men have larger brains than [[women]]. It should be noted that most [[Americunts]] CANNOT use cars that have manual transmissions as it is beyond their brain capacity to push down with one foot while simultaneously moving a gear stick at the same time.

=== How to Drive a Manual Transmission ===

# Wait for the traffic light to turn to green.
# [[Emo|Depress]] [[cock|clutch]] and shift into first gear.
# Push accelerator completely in, and hold at maximum engine revs so [[VTEC]] KICKS IN!!11!
# Release [[cum|handbrake]] and clutch.
# [[Troll]] [[retard|other motorists]] for [[lulz]] with your tire smoke.
# Piss off [[Al Gore]] with your tire smoke.
# [[Win]]

=== How to Drive an Automatic Transmission ===

# Turn on car
# Put into gear
# Get to destination feeling relaxed and pampered
# Put in park
# Turn off car and look smug.
# Incur massive repair expenses.

== Gallery ==
===General===
{{collapsegallery|general|CarPix|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Gas pump porn.jpg
File:Cars_-_Dick_Size.jpg
File:Girl on the road.gif|Use this to [[Trolling IRL|IRL troll]] drivers
File:Car crash bump.gif
File:Beer_bottle_stuck_in_a_windshield.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Walking in traffic.gif
File:Suggestive gas pumping.gif
File:Car jumping.gif
File:POTN_hole_in_road.jpg
File:awesome car.jpg|Cars are pretty [[awesome]].
File:Smoking Car.jpeg
File:Americandadfurry2.jpg|[[Fuck you, I'm a dragon!|FUCK YOU IM A CAR.]]
File:Per26.jpg|[[fire|Oh Shi-]]
File:YellowbiRd.jpg|Big Bird is the shit.
File:American car.jpg|America's favorite car
File:MuttCutts.jpg|[[Furries]] ruin cars
File:BMW Gaspump.jpg|Typical female driver.
File:Chrischanscar.jpg|[[Chris Chan|Chris Chandler]] drives a car and so can [[lie|you]].
File:BMW Crush.jpg|Transportation of abnormal cargo may invalidate warranty.
File:Buffoutpleasep1.gif
File:Cookies in car.jpg
File:Murder car.gif
File:No back seat = no accident.jpg
File:Seat belts are very important.png
File:You'll never tame me, humans.jpg
File:Carnuts.jpg|aT LEAST MY CAR ISNT A EUNUCH LIKE YOUR CAR YOU FAGGOT
File:Fuck you car.gif
File:Huge Exhaust 01.jpg
File:Corvette vs Semi.jpg
File:Fustercluck 2.jpg
File:Chav Car.jpg
File:Cargo Ship Beached.jpg
File:Cargo Ship Tilt.jpg
File:Bird Shit Car.jpg
File:SHMROCK.jpeg.jpg
File:FrozenSolid.jpg
File:Ford Distorte.jpg
File:ASSORGY.jpg
File:Cheat.jpg
File:CrowdedArabs.jpg
File:CubanSUV.jpg
File:Div 105.jpg
File:Div 302.jpg
File:Thank you for driving carefully.png
File:Fordad.jpg
File:Possum in Car.jpg
File:Cars_-_Gun_Shot_Horn.jpg
File:Bus 2.jpg
File:Goatserofl.jpg|Your [[lol|car]] sure is a chick magnet!
File:Goodpaintjob.jpg
File:Cardesign.jpg
File:Kart Legs.jpg
File:Speed Hump.jpg
File:Speed Aircraft.jpg
File:Blipp 1585.jpg
File:RunsRedLight.gif
File:Jet Truck.jpeg
File:Drive-Thru.jpg
File:744980838 5 v3Qk.jpg
File:Nukelada.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Parking===
{{collapsegallery|Parking failures|Parking|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Parklikeassback 1.jpg
File:Parkinglike.jpg
File:Parking spot just for you.jpg
File:I park like an idiot.jpg
File:Bad parking.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:NoParking.jpg
File:Park01.jpg
File:Insert parked vehicles wheel.JPG
File:Parkingirony.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Spoilers===
{{Spoilers|Spoilers make your car go faster}}
{{collapsegallery|Spoilers|Spoilers|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:HUGE Spoiler 01.jpg
File:REDDITD Spoiler Spoiler.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
</gallery>}}

===Formula One/Race Cars===
{{collapsegallery|F1|F1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Indy Crash 02.jpg
File:Indy Crash.jpg
File:Indy Hop.jpg
File:Car Flying.jpg
File:Kart Upsidedown.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:F1 Accident.jpg
</gallery>}}

== Videos ==

{{center|
{{fv|Car videos|background-color: white;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>VCsUpYyujIo</youtube>
;How to Overtake a Camper
|<youtube>e1yYGbMafkU</youtube>
;Best Use for a [[Korea|Hyundai]]
|<youtube>cKNzEvK_5u8</youtube>
;{{yt|u|makemebad35|Stupid fucking faggot}} teaches you how to drive
|<youtube>6YEoYGArMas</youtube>}}
}}

== See Also ==

[[File:Nigger Engineering.jpg|250px|thumb|In case you were wondering why there is no African car section on this page...]]

*[[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!]]
*[[Honda]]
*[[Top Gear]]
*[[Pimp My Ride]]
*[[Grand Theft Auto]]
*[[H-wing]]
*[[Batman#Batmobile|The Batmobile]]
*[[VTEC Just Kicked In Yo]]
*[[Ferrari Guy]]*[[Ricers]]
*[[F40PH]]
*[[Airplane]]
*[[Motorcycle]]
*[[Mad Max (Game)]]
*[[Burt Reynolds]] The Bandit
*[[Street takeover]] Perfect for lulz in your car

{{Life}}
{{Timeline|Featured article October 4, [[2005]]|[[Dinosaur]]|[[Lincoln Continental]]|[[I did it for the lulz]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article August 13 & August 14, [[2024]]|[[Cocaine]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Weed]]}}

[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

United Kingdom

2024-08-15T22:29:01Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{achtung|[[Brexit|The UK is leaving the EU!]] <s>But [[Scotland]] is leaving the UK and joining
the EU!</s> lol keep dreaming SNPfags!}}
{{spoilers|Queen Elizabeth II is dead, ding dong the wicked bitch is dead}}
[[Image:Britfag.jpg|thumb|230px|Typical Briton]]
[[File:Morris dancers.gif|thumb|300px|In parts of Britain, traffic signals are worshipped]]
[[File:Hitler%27s_women%27s_hockey_team.jpg|310px|thumb|You're doing it wrong.]]
The '''Country formerly known as the United Kingdom''', also known by its full name, [[TL;DR|The Country formerly known as the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland]], and better known as the Divided Kingdom of Fail Crapton and Northern Terroristville, the Democratic Socialist Peoples Republic of Britistan and the United Kuntdom (UK), is a small turd floating in the seas off the coast of Europe. The natives are universally loathed for their rotten teeth and terrible smell, even by other Europeans. National pastimes include wearing women's clothing, eating terrible food, bitching about the [[France|French]] and venting suppressed military penis-envy towards the [[America|United States]], [[Russia]] and [[Chinks|China]].

National dress consists of bowler hats and smoking jackets which are worn even while bathing and swimming. Despite their history of epic military fails and lack of personal hygiene, they still believe that [[USI|they are the greatest people on the fucking planet.]]

Political opinion and culture in the UK, regardless of whether they are on the [[Communist|left-wing]] or [[Nazi|right-wing]], is best known for it's love of banning everything and anything and generally thinking that they can regulate and prohibit their way to utopia. This thinking has now reached a point where if you find yourself in the UK and you are wondering about the legality of an action, it's best just to assume that it's illegal. There is nothing that you can do legally in the UK that you can't do anywhere else, this combined with the fact that the country has no written constitution or constitutionally enshrined Bill of Rights, makes the UK one of the best examples of "soft core fascism" in the western world.

==Notable Areas==
[[File:Wicker man circle dance.gif|thumb|right|200px|Stonehenge, Wiltshire]]
The United Kingdom is divided into a number of smaller country-ettes, each of which is in its own little world. The imaginary distinctions between each pseudo-nation are painfully important to their denizens, mostly because it gives them something to preen about.

*[[England]]
*[[Londonistan]] ''the capital [[Shitty|city]]''
*[[Scotland]] ''also known as Northern England''
*[[Whales]]
*[[Northern Ireland]]
*Cornywall

==British Culture==
[[File:How British people talk.png|thumb|How British people talk.]]
===Cuisine===
[[Image:Crumpet news.jpg|right|200px]]
British food (with a [[Bacon and eggs|few exceptions]]) is notoriously bad. A majority of the food in the UK is tasteless, yet still [[fat|full of calories]]. This is generally because the majority of British folks (like the rest of Europe) would rather spend their time getting [[alcohol|shitfaced]] drunk every day than to be bothered to prepare meals. Besides, most British women can not cook anything other than crumpets or bacon and eggs, simply because food they try to make instantly violates 46 of the [[Over 9000|9001]] health codes in the UK.

It's unknown however whether the food they eat is a cause or effect of their notoriously bad teeth. [[Some argue]] a dreadful diet leads to tooth decay, while others claim that British dishes were invented solely to be eaten by people who obviously [[oral sex|don't give a shit about what effect it may have on their mouths]].

====The Effect on Teeth====
[[Image:Bad-teeth.jpg|thumb|200px|Genuine British Teeth]]
[[Image:British smiles.png|200px|right]]
[[Image:Ugly People 17.jpg|thumb|200px|right|authentic anglo beauty]]
The most efficient way to identify a Brit living in America or anywhere else in the world is to check his or her teeth. This form of identification only works outside the state of Kentucky. The absolute god-awfulness of their teeth is one of the few faults that the British will '''{{ZJYZ0|actually admit to}}'''. However, as with all things British, they manage to turn this into yet another thing to preen about. Brits do this by endlessly bitching that Americans care too much about teeth.

The lack of dental hygiene of the [[chav|typical]] UK citizen should not be dismissed as nit-picking just because, when compared to the rest of [[India|the world]], they don't seem so bad. Britain, after all, as a First World country and a major player on [[USA|the world stage]] should command [[shit nobody cares about|a modicum of respect]].

However, it should be noted that, unlike in America, dental care is free to people aged under 18; therefore, they have no real excuse. Oldfags must pay £16.50 for an examination and over £9,000 for actual treatment. The money raised by the dentists is invested in the [[irony|candy industry]].

===As Tourists===
[[Image:What defines a british person.jpg|thumb|Google is still accurate]]
When some [[troll|moron]] decided to build the "Chunnel" (a tunnel under the Channel that linked the UK with France) in 1994, all hell broke loose as the "Chunnel"'s sole purpose has proven to be allowing Britain's [[moron|hordes]] of perpetually drunk, violent [[caveman|soccer hooligans]] out of their cages to swarm onto the continent and wreak havoc. Granted, seeing as how this inconvenienced only the French, nobody else really gave a shit.
Much as they deny it, Brits are all mutts full of French, German, Italian and Norse blood, which, considering the [[batshit crazy|volatility]] of those races, probably explains why Brits are so all [[asshat|unpleasant]].

=== Climate ===
Rain. But not for much longer. Thanks to [[global warming]], when the gulf stream shuts down England will be treated to a climate more appropriate to its latitude, which is the same as that of [[Moscow]]. However since global warming is taking a fucking long time to get into gear, it still rains over 93% of the time. The chance of rain is statistically proven to be higher if the BBC says it will be sunny.

=== British Lifestyle ===
[[File:4984765+ 30775c038fda0f1bb2b552f88c2b1c8f.jpg|thumb|200px|GTA Britain would look something like this]]
Your typical British wankball will rise nice and early to pour a a gallon of tea down their ugly throats, and stuff some greasy breakfast into their mouth-holes, skipping brushing their teeth and a shower afterward, before eventually sitting down to glare at the rickety old movin' picture light box for a few hours before work. Typical morning programming will be the day's weather report of rain with a chance of terrorism, then to hear the countries national withered old couple Richard & Judy quickly whisk over some horrific international disaster, before moving onto something more light and entertaining, like an old lady in Dorchester who's renting out her vagina as a bed & breakfast or some shit.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>hAX6yi60OPY</youtube>
<center>'''Richard & Judy morning [[boring|borefest]] dubbed over for [[I did it for the lulz|teh lulz]]'''</center>
|border=blue|background=red}}</center>

Your usual British citizen will then proceed to get up of his fat arse and walk out into the cold dreary rain, battling the weather and sand niggers shouting about how they will kill everyone, to walk into a dull and depressive office building or factory. These gormless bum-pickers will then stare into space for a while, watching the British empire's already crumbled husk sink further into the ground right before their witless eyes. When their break comes, they will gather round to speak ill about other countries, including the British ones. The English will bitch about Scotland and Wales, the Scottish will spout some shit about how they'll become independent, the Welsh will struggle to blink and talk at the same time, and the North Irish will run quickly from the daily pipe bomb that was just thrown through the window. The women of the country will stay at home being ugly. Other activities include squawking to their equally unattractive next door neighbor, both looking like melting wax sculptures of Cilla Black as they gossip about how the man across the road is probably a paedophile, or smacking their tiny chav spawn who run around in the streets flashing their bums and flinging rocks at passers by.

Britons will spend their free time drinking themselves to an early grave. Once work is over, thousands of them from lower to upper class all flock like an avalanche of hobos to their nearest drinking hole. Activities in these places will usually involve chatter about the last football game and loud insipid conversations about bloody immigrants before they all glass each other into unconsciousness. The upper class isn’t any different, perusing piss stained nightclubs and bars, pouring ridiculously expensive booze into their mouths and shoving even more expensive weak coke up their nostrils. In the middle of drinking they will make their way to the Lou that consists of a trough, a sink, a toilet that hasn't been cleaned in months, and three urinals at which men will hock loogies (gob as they say) and spit it on the floor or the wall in front of them. They'll return to their festivities, after not washing their hands of course. All this in an effort to make the make-up caked British sluts that totter around the streets just vaguely fuckable. Then everyone wakes up with a hangover to another dreary morning and the cycle starts again. God save the queen.

===Crime===
[[Image:British Police.jpg|thumb|200px|The British police (Yes, they are this [[gay]])]]
[[Image:Bannedinbritain.jpg|thumb|200px|BANNED IN BRITAIN]]
Crime is the UK's second national sport (the first being [[Football]]), and this second sport is becoming ever more popular as, at the urging of legions of elderly, white haired, [[Tory|Tory-voting]] [[old people|old women]] who hate everything and anything that might resemble [[fun]], [[Government|Big Brother]] is banning everything. (Yes, they are this [[stupid]]).

<big><big>'''People and things [[b&|banned]] and forbidden in Britain include:'''</big></big>

#[[Guns]] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#Knives (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[[Marijuana|House plants]] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[[Loli]]
#[[Shota]]
#[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/5291467/Profile-Michael-Savage-the-US-shock-jock-banned-from-Britain.html Michael Savage]
#[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/under-starter-s-orders-the-latest-weapon-to-be-outlawed-1947204.html Starting races]
#Street parties
#'''{{archive|4pjbU|Manhunt 2}}'''
#Cutlery (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[[Mike Tyson]] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#'''{{archive|66NqN|Fred Phelps}}'''
#'''{{archive|3YjqR|Guro fap fantasies about Girls Aloud}}'''
#Saying horrid things about [[Princess Diana]]
#[[The Human Centipede|The Human Centipede 2]]
#[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7885918.stm Geert Wilders]
#[[Halloween]]
#Football Hooligans (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/8484116.stm Shopping in your pajamas]
#[[Snoop Dogg]] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[https://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Music/06/08/chris.brown.uk.ban/index.html?hpt=T3 Chris Brown]
#[[Trolling|Cyber-bullying]] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[[Hate Speech]] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[[Lauren Southern]]
#[[Martha Stewart]]
#[https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/giant-plasma-tvs-face-ban-in-battle-to-green-britain-1299665.html Plasma screen TVs] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#'''{{Archive|rwjOP|Photoshop}}''' (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#[[Chris Morris]]
#'''{{archive|Pe4rn|Fire extinguishers}}''' (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#'''{{archive|2VEqa|Goldfish}}'''
#[[Testicles|Conkers]]
#(Possibly) [[Donald Trump]]
#Nuclear weapons
#'''{{archive|P6Zdu|Puppies}}'''
#[[Christmas]] (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])
#Celebrating the Fourth of July (Yes, they are this [[jealous|jealous of America]])
#[[You]]

[[Fags|Law abiding citizens]] are left to be [[ass rape|escorted]] while going to the market. This brings great [[lulz]] to [[Amerifags]] as they are all armed to the teeth, and help each other out more often than those dirty [[nigger]]s kill each other.
{{clear}}

==The People==
[[IMage:A_british_gathering.jpg|thumb|What happens when British people get together]]
[[Image:Queen nude stamp.jpg|thumb|Elizabeth II, by Grace of [[God]], of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her [[Antigua and Barbuda|other]] [[Australia|Realms]] [[Canada|and]] [[New Zealand|Territories]] [[Queening|Queen]], Head of the [[Commonwealth]], Defender of the Faith]]
[[File:Woking 925.jpg|thumb|Public transport in Surrey]]
[[File:Weird british guy.jpg|thumb|The average British citizen; smoking a pipe and being faggy.]]

''UKunts'' are the inhabitants of the UK and are basically [[Europeans]] minus the class and culture. Besides ''UKunts'', other terms of endearment to describe the British are '''Brits''' and '''Limeys''' (if you're from America or Canada), '''Pommies''' and '''Pommy Bastards''' (if you are from Australia or New Zealand), '''Island Apes/Monkeys''' (if you are from Germany) and '''Goras''' (if you're from South Asia). Other words to call the British are '''Micks''', '''Paddies''', '''Scots''', and '''Neanderthals'''.

Like USA being infested with [[niggers]], Britain is also being infested with [[sand niggers]]. The first and most notable trait of the is their sense of elitism and entitlement - a leftover from an era when Britain ruled most of the world. Sadly, most of the British people, having lost their power, have not yet lost the feeling that they are better than everyone else. They also get wet dreams from [[Goatse|this]]. Most Britfags had their [[vagina|penis]] chopped off by their mother for getting their sister pregnant.

Despite the fact that Britfags think of the opposite they are actually much inferior in any way possible than other [[Europe|Zooropeans]] due to continuous race-mixing with subhumans and other genetic factors and culture.

Indeed, so far down the primrose path to genetic perdition is Britain that when neo-Nazis protest in town centers, they are harassed by [[Underage B&|15-year-old girls]] pushing a buggy full of niglets from having been knocked up by a pedaristic spade (an offence of statutory rape). Bystanders are so hypnotised by the ZOG machine that they stand and applaud while the neo-Nazi is [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3581295/My-daughter-s-mixed-race-booted-Moment-brave-mother-daughter-stood-neo-Nazi-protestors-advocating-free-white-Britain.html struck speechless with horror and flees, fearing for his own sanity.]
=== A Short List of European nations inferior to Britain ===

*[[Germans]]
*[[French]]
*[[Italians]]
*[[Austria|Austrians]]
*[[Swedish]]
*[[Norwegian]]
*[[Denmark|Legoland]]
*[[Finnish]]
*[[Dutch]]
*[[Iceland|Icelanders]]
*[[Belgium|Belgians]]
*[[Greeks]]
*[[Polish]]
*[[Irish]] (different from [[Northern Ireland]] for all of you dumbfuck [[Amerifags|yanks]])
*[[Estonia|Estonian]]
*[[Lithuania|Lithuanian]]
*[[Lesbian land|Lesbinian]]
*[[Latvia|Latvian]]
*[[Hungarian]]
*[[Sealand|Sealandic]]
*[[Switzerland|Swiss]]
*[[Serbian]]
*[[Spanish]]
*Slovakian
*Slovenian
*Luxembourgers
*Liechtensteiners
*Czechs

==Obesity==

UKunts are also famous for being extremely [[fat]]. The UK ranks at number ten on the worlds fattest country countdown, likely due to lack of exercise and high levels of crumpet eating. This is ironic, seeing as how the typical UK stereotype is that [[Americans]] are fat (not that many of them aren't, around 66% of Americans are obese).

==Ego==

The UK holds, without a doubt, the most annoying people on the planet. Everyone, from the 3-year-old to the ancient grandma talks in the worst accent known to man. Combining their terrible accent with how frequently they talk, they get the award. Most British, Irish, and Scottish accents sounds a high-pitched queef from a vagina that has been filled with cement combined with a retarded walrus with herpes in its mouth.

[[unwarranted self-importance| They have a syndrome, reinforced through education, parents and their fellow scumbag peers of being the best in the world because of a now long gone empire.]] They have not quite grasped the fact that all empires rise and fall, this false sense of importance constantly contributing to their image of being the [[lolcow|laughing stock]] of the rest of Europe.

Primitivity has to be considered. The UK is a slowly decaying country losing every possible form of human value. Their youth crime is one of the highest in Europe, and a charming night out will undoubtedly end up with a slap to the face and your phone stolen. Flocks of drunken [[slut|slags]] drift through the cold nights, clutching their high heels with one hand and straddling a cigarette with the other as they babble incoherently at passers-by.

Hypocrisy is an everyday part of life within British people. In the UK people have been brought up being told to not express their feelings and to be reserved. This hypocrisy often leads them to make jokes towards other individuals about what they really think of them; such hypocritical jokes being justified by the word 'banter'. British people find it very difficult to ever say to someone's face what they think of them, with their tiny little minds finding it difficult to comprehend actual empathy, they resort to this "banter" instead.

{{Quote| Haha yeah man, why are you, like, so fuckin' UGLY mate, haha yeah. Prat.| Decent banter}}

British are [[Jew|greedy]] [[brothel|shopkeepers]] who want Arabs to spend [[Jewgold]] buying their crap. But at the same time, they are too racist to tolerate Arabs walking/driving on their streets. Srsly they are grumpy about it and made this grumpumentary. They prefer the rich Arabs send in the [[Jewgold]] via mail order, rather than showing up in person. They believe they are being [[irony|colonized]].

{{frame|<youtube>JA_NoL9cTvk</youtube>|border=blue|background=red|margin=auto}}

Srsly tho, the vid above does show that Brits can be some of the greatest IRL [[trolling|trolls]] and provide lots of lulz.

==Chavs==
{{Main|Chav}}
[[Image:Taking dump in police helmet.jpg|200px|thumb| law abiding Briton (Yes, they are this [[stupid]])]]
Chavs are basically the [[Wigger|white version of niggers]], living off the state and smoking enough pot to turn your skin fluorescent. Instead of getting their pasty white asses a job or paying for their own home they would rather bitch about how hard their life is, try to rap, and spawn more children than [[Your Mom]], who will then live the exact same life as their parents with enthusiasm that makes Jesus cry. Such individuals are nonexistent in the rest of Europe, and these subhumans result in the English having a "hate syndrome" with one another, and no moral or dignified background.

[[File:Smokinglol.jpg|thumb|As seen in the above image, British women are the epitome of class.]]

==Things The British Hate==

#Practicing dental hygiene.
#Traffic
#The [[French]].
#Taking away the gallons of tea they drink everyday.
#The [[USA]].
#David Cameron.
#Eating good food.
#Sean Penn.
#The [[Germans]].
#Tipping.
#Piers Morgan.
#[[Cops]].
#The 4th of July.
#Saying something negative about the Royals.
#Children.
#[[Rednecks]].
#Tony Blair.
#Self-defense.
#Brussels.
#American football.
#The Scottish (which ''is'' part of the UK).
#[[Islam|Abu Hamza]].
#The Irish.
#[[Old people]].
#Halloween.
#The EU.
#[[Perez Hilton|Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr]].
#Guns.
#The [[China|Chinese]]
#[[W|George Dubbya]].
#Toothbrushes.
#Toothpaste.
#The [[Scottish]]
#The Welsh
#Mouthwash.
#The [[Australians|Aussies]].
#Gordon Brown.
#Keeping sober.
#The [[Canadians]].
#Warm and sunny tropical weather.
#[[Shit|Hershey's Chocolate]].
#India.
#Themselves
#The [[Spanish]]
#[[You]].

==Famous Britfags==

*{{ytlink|S9-MmMvnwu8|SuprFgt}}
*[[CheekyBen]]
*[[Gary Glitter]]
*[[Gordon Brown]] - Ex-Prime Minister
*Deputy PM [[Nick Clegg]] & PM [[David Cameron]] — the first [[gay]] couple to be in office together
*[[Princess Diana]]
*[[Susan Boyle]]
*[[Tony Blair]]
*[[Jack the Ripper]]
*[[Margaret Thatcher]]
*[[Heather Howland]]
*[[UKIP|Nicholas Farage]]
*[[The Royal Family]]
*[[The Beatles]]
*[[Liverpool|Wayne Rooney]]
*[[Mr. Bean]]
*[[Gordon Ramsay]]
*[[Monty Python]]
*[[Gary Coleman|Sir Garrick Coleman of Stroke]]
*[[Soccer|David Beckham]]
*[[House|Hugh Laurie]]
*[[Rage|Russell Crowe]]
*[[Steve Irwin]]
*[[Kangaroo Jack]]
*[[Morrissey]]
*[[Jimmy Savile]] - If you are a Brit, there is a 2 in 10 chance that he has molested you
*[[Ed Balls]]
*[[Michael Ryan]]
*[[Derrick Bird]]

== History ==
[[File:Wicker man ritual.gif|thumb|Harvest festival in Derbyshire]]
[[Image:Union-jack.gif|thumb|220px|The Union flag]]
[[Image:English nazis2.png|thumb|220px|The Union flag according to /[[k/]]]]
===Early History===
Since [[before the Internets|earliest recorded history]], the evil [[ginger]] [[ebaumsworld|Barbarian tribes]] inhabiting the Kingdoms of [[Scotland]], [[Ireland]], and the Principality of [[Wales]] have been creating [[drama|havoc]] as a way to [[gangbang|gang up]] against one another.

Following the [[hangover|"Scottish Enlightenment"]] and [[slavery|Industrial Revolution]], Scotland became the world's dominant industrial and [[Pain|maritime]] power, playing a leading role in developing parliamentary [[demockery]] and in advancing [[Garfield|literature]] and [[TV|science]]. As hard as this is to believe if you've ever met a [[anus|shit]] eating '''Ned''' (as they prefer to be called), it may be explained when you consider that, like the Jew, the Scots are all [[Jew|skinflints]] when it comes to money.

Until recently, the Channel had kept all enemy [[i|invasion]]s at bay despite frequent 'pop-ins' from such diverse [[anon|party crashers]] as the:
*[[Roman Empire|Romans]]
*[[Vikings]]
*[[France|French]]
*[[Germany|Germans]]
*[[Denmark|Danes]]
*[[Norway|Norwegians]]
*[[Paki]]s.

However, most found the [[puke|British food]]--and obligatory [[piss|lukewarm beer]]--and weather to be so atrocious and [[snob|the people]] so thoroughly obnoxious that they would [[GTFO]] asap, leaving behind their cultural trappings, which the Brits then fashioned into a culture of their own.

===[[Epic Fail|The British Empire]]===
[[Image:Royals.png|thumb|300px|Which one of these crusty perverts is getting a blowjob from [[Madeleine McCann]] right now? SMS the number to 09011 32 22 to WIN! (*UK Residents only. Some conditions apply).]]

{{quote|"The sun never sets on the British Empire."|On 27 December 2008, the sun set on the British Empire at precisely 15:58.}}

{{quote|"...because [[God]] doesn't trust us in the dark."}}

After losing to some [[epic fail|closeted Frenchmen in the Battle of 1066]] and getting their asses taken over by the [[fags|perfumed fops]] of a foreign royal court, the British decided that it would be more fun if they were the ones doling out the [[faggotry]], instead of receiving it. Thus did the British [[attention whore|will to empire]]. There is no doubt this was the greatest [[period]] in British history and a victory for [[white people]] which would not end until the abolition of slavery.
[[Image:Wing Commander Roger Morewood.jpg|thumb|200px|left|This sort of man is why Britain was funnier than America.]]
[[File:British imperial officer uses bengali woman as transport.jpeg|200px|thumb|left|For King, country, and the lulz]]
At its peak, the [[old meme|British Empire]] covered over [[pwnt|one-fourth of the earth's surface]] and nearly one third of its population. Under [[The Royal Family|Queen Victoria]], the [[Army|British Army]] and [[drunk|Navy]] went forth to go where no man had gone before and kindly teach the filthy, godless natives--from the black person of Africa to the [[Jenkem|ripe smelling]] [[Indians|box-wallahs]] of India to [[rickroll|rickshaw]] pulling [[chinks]] of China--the wonders of [[whitey|civilization]] and the [[NO U|word of God]] using some good opium (and a lot of guns failing that). While they were at it, they trolled the fuck out of each nation they favored by making them convert to the British way. This included insisting that everyone drive on the wrong side of the road, speak [[Queening|the Queen's]] English and wear [[gay|suitable]] attire. They also installed bureaucracies in every government and private institutions that would provide enough [[bureaucratic fuck|red tape]] to ensure that the natives would never get restless, since they'd be preoccupied trying to throttle Gupta for having them fill out a form in triplicate to get a fucking train ticket.

[[Image:queenofengland2.jpg|thumb|220px|[[Winston Churchill]] showing his contempt for the British people.]]

Because the [[British]] have a long history of [[pwn|conquering]] [[n00b|helpless brown people]] in Third World shitholes, they have developed [[unwarranted self-importance|delusions of grandeur]] and believe that their empire was greater than it really was. It is a known [[fact]] that Britain's performance drops slightly when their opponents are other [[White]] people, apart from numerous British victories, which are nothing short of ownage.

Because of Britain's activities in sending degenerate [[DO NOT WANT|Irishmen]] to their colonies to fuck like beasts and [[New York|outnumber the local population]], resentment has been simmering against Britain around the world for some time. In particular, people in Africa seem upset about some [[shit nobody cares about|stupid shit that nobody really understands]] and some unpronounceable African dumbfuck word called apartheid, including the grandfather of the [[Barack Hussein Obama|President of the United States]]. [[Some argue]] that Obama, in classic black person tradition, will send his homies to pop a cap in the UK's collective ass as retribution for what it did to the father of the father that abandoned him as a baby, but this is mostly speculation.

===Decline===
Of course all [[win]] eventually turns into [[fail]] and the British Empire swiftly went downhill. The United Kingdom is no longer [[1337|considered an international superpower]] and the United Kingdom now spends its time split between trying to get [[chav]]s neutered and sending its youth to [[rape]] and pillage the [[Middle East]] at the request of its [[Fag|American]] cohorts because they [[Vietnam|fuck up without them around]]. Britons particularly despise the [[Israel|Israelis]] for their part in introducing their former King to Jew.

Ironically the UK is now trying to keep another [[EU|evil empire]] from taking over and ruining its ass. It's clear that the [[Nazi|Germans]], [[French]] and [[Dutch]] are just seriously jealous of the ex-prestige of this country.

==British Time==
[[File:Britfag Thread 7 Bong.jpg|thumb|left|Britfag culture.]]
[[File:Oi It's 7 Bong.jpg|thumb|A factual account of how the British tell the time.]]
[[File:Superior English Time.png|thumb|A rough guide to British time for any Americans.]]
Foreigners visiting Britain for the first time may notice that British people never seem to be wearing watches. Similarly, clocks are absent. This can prove disconcerting, until one realizes that clocks are, in fact, extinct in Britain and have been since the days of [[Bitch|Queen Victoria]], when they where hunted to extinction by [[steampunk|steampunks]] who plundered their innards to decorate their ugly clothes and fashion accessories with.

The only survivor of this nationwide [[holocaust|chronocaust]] is the huge clockface of the belltower of the Houses of Parliament in [[Londonistan]], affectionately known as Big Ben. It is thought that Big Ben was spared, not only due to it being too high for most to reach, but also because the immense size of its component parts made them unsuitable and impractical to attach to clothing, even for the most [[swag|ostentatious]] of [[steampunk|steampunks]].

Because of this, Big Ben fills a vital function in British life as it is their only way of knowing exactly what time it is. On the hour, whenever Big Ben chimes, an awed hush descends on the nation as every single Britfag stops whatever they are doing and listens intently, counting off the chimes on their fingers, before cheerfully and loudly announcing, for example, "[[U WOT M8|OI, IT'S 7 BONG!]]" for the benefit of those who might not be aware of what time it is.

Big Ben is to be destroyed by [[terrorists]] in the year 2020, as fortold in [[Alan Moore]]'s <s>graphic novel</s> movie, ''[[V for Vendetta]]'', plunging the nation into [[anarchy]] and confusion as to what time EastEnders is on tonight. In a desperate attempt to head off the fated catastrophe, [[David Cameron]] has devised a last-ditch plan to filter all [[internet|internet pr0n]] through BAE Detica blackboxes. Every fictional character portrayed in Britain will be interviewed to determine whether the sex she was having was consensual or not. Since when you think of it, sex is an adjunct to marriage, and marriage is a patriarchal institution, and therefore women are actually being coerced by a brutal economic system, any careful viewer should understand it is not. When every last man in Britain is put behind bars for three years, they cannot appear in Guy Fawkes masks and overthrow the government. Hmmm, unless the protesters in the movie were actually women? I never thot of that...

==How to Troll a British person==
[[Image:Chav.jpg|thumb|Say something nice about [[Tony Blair]].]]

*Although technically part of [[Europe]] (and a member of the [[EU]]) [[Some argue|some]] British people [[elitist|do not consider]] [[fucktards|themselves]] [[Eurofag]]s and will likely [[caveman|shove a broken bottle]] in your face if [[Americans|you]] point this fact out to them.
*Call them the niggers of Europe. You wouldn't be wrong in doing so because thats exactly who the British act like on holiday. They somehow can't keep their genitals in their pants or off their male friends proof: '''{{archive|WCVI3}}'''
*Ask them why they hate immigrants so much. Tell them that the immigrants coming in can only better the already extremely inbred British genepool and in the end possibly produce good looking British people for once.
*Say something bad about [[Princess Diana]].
*Remind them that Winston Churchill was legally American because his mom was born in Brooklyn, New York.
*Make jokes and stereotypes about the British which have not been used since the 19th century (see the [[English]] article for tips).
:*Bonus points if you constantly shout "BLIMEY!", "I SAY!" and "OH I DO BELIEVE I FANCY SOME SCONES!". This will cause the Brit to shit rage bricks. Watch out for his scalding hot tea.
*Make jokes about the Royal Family.
*Mention anything positive about the French.
*"Praise the Irish. Long live the IRA!"
*Tell them how you're [[American]] and how much more awesome [[Amerikkka]] is than Britain. You'll likely receive replies such as:
:*BOLLOCKS, I 'ATE THE BLOODY YANKS!
:*BLIMEY! WE 'AVE A YANK IN [[THE GAME]]!
:*GTFO YOU BLOODY YANK!
:*FUCK YOU YOU FAT FUCKING TWAT!
*Just know it will always have "yank" in it. Damn [[soviet|red]] coats
*Brits have got the monarchy, the US has the money, but I know that you wanna be [[DO NOT WANT|Canadian!]]
*English people hate foreigners, foreign languages and Americans, so trolling couldn't be easier! You don't even need to be able to speak a language, provided you speak fast enough in whatever [[Moonspeak|gobbly-garbage]] you're speaking, just play your role well enough and all the English people will do is just yell louder (because speaking slower and louder makes every language better).
:*Bonus points are awarded if you play a foreign hooker in Thailand or Amsterdam, so that your mark yells 'HOW MUCH FOR SEX?'
*If the word yank is used, respond along the lines of "Oh my, I haven't had anyone toss me off in awhile. Would you like to exchange [[twitter]] info and meet up IRL?" Most Britfags are homophobic and turning their gay little insult, into what it really is, will cause their puny minds to implode and the rage to flow.
*[[Truth|Point out the fact that they have no civil rights written down in any form of a constitution, and thus, have had their right to bear arms raped in an emergency act of parliament, just because someone shot a couple kids in a high school.]] Note that these members of parliament where probably elected to represent in ghettos they have never been to, due to the way British government is designed to rape immigrants. Also try and avoid the fact that their rights are actually present, just in a whole clusterfuck of documents as opposed to [[Constitution|one]], and that they are [[Irony|better protected by law]] from oppression by the [[W|political]] [[Obama|elite]]. Of course, they won't care to know about this. Why would they when they can watch X Factor?
*Run around and start screaming, [[Bullshit|"AMERICAN FOOTBALL IS THE BEST SPORT ON EARTH!"]] You will most likely be mugged and stabbed to death, especially by hooligan firms (which are mainly chavs).
*Let them know that even though the sun never sets on the British Empire, the lights in their cars don't work, thanks to Lucas Electric.
*Point out that two-thirds of the world's English-speakers are American, English-language culture is now dominated by Americans, and that the English identity barely exists anymore, having been mostly usurped and improved by Americans.
*Tell them how much the movie [[Mel Gibson|The Patriot]] is the greatest and most accurate war film evar.
*Explain to them that the Americans "save" them in every war and that they beg for our help.
*Bring up Gibraltar[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/gibraltar/10236507/The-Spanish-must-take-their-hands-off-Gibraltars-throat.html][https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/19/gibraltar-dispute-navy-warship-westminster]

== Why The British Suck ==

[[File:British Soldiers.jpg|center]]

#They don't practice proper dental hygiene.
#They smell funny.
#It rains too much in the UK.
#They always whine about [[France]].
#They still have an outdated, insignificant monarchy that doesn't give a shit about how their country is run as they suck their taxes dry.
#They drink too much.
#They're the leftover, butthurt descendants of people who saw the fall of their long gone, once-glorious and power empire.
#They're the fattest people in Europe.
#They let a bunch of niggers, sandniggers and [[China|chinks]] flood their country.
#They're ugly and look inbred.
#They coax and pamper their killers, drug dealers and rapists while sending them off to holiday camps for 2-5 years or so.
#They bitch constantly about how violently gun-loving [[America]] is even though they have the highest murder rate in Europe with repeated daily stabbings, muggings and gang-rapes.
#They have Piers Morgan.
#They talk in all sorts of annoying accents that rapes the ears.
#They're still butthurt because they lost the American Revolutionary War.
#They created [[Harry Potter]].
#Most of them are [[Snob|stuck-up]] [[cunts]].
#They violently fight and kill each other over football.
#They complain about [[Americunts]] being arrogant and thinking that they're the best people in the world, even though they act they same way themselves.
#Their politicians are spineless pussies.
#Their police are also spineless pussies.
#Most of them have inflated, fragile egos.
#They produced [[Simon Cowell]].
#They have disgusting food which is considered the worst in the world.
#They produced [[Gordon Ramsay]].
#They produced [[One Direction]]
#They spend endless days confined in their bedrooms posting bullshit, trolling comments on their shitty, British-run tabloid websites like the Guardian and the [[Daily Mail]].
#They made Amy Winehouse.
#They made The Beatles
#They're political correctness's capital of the world

=== Britland is convoluted as shit ===

*[[Commons:File:British_Isles_Euler_diagram_15.svg|Euler diagram]]

It is no wonder that people don't know where this stuff is located (and funny that Brits get pissy about it).

== Videos ==
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>jBxC9O31TH8</youtube>
<center>'''The Antiques Roadshow is Britain's most British TV program'''</center>
|border=blue|background=red}}</center>
 
== Gallery ==
 
<center>
{{frame|<center><gallery perrow=5>
File:Britfag comic tommy cooper dies on live TV (april 15, 1984).jpg
File:Avon lady kills toyboy for pissing in her conservatory.jpg
File:Richmond golf club (london, england) - rules during wwii.jpg
File:British delicacy - gravy flavoured potato crisps.jpg
File:@Channel4News UK - mystery of why white areas have less crime.png|{{colortext|WHITE|Who's going to tell her?}}
File:Lutonthenadnnow.png
File:Meanwhile, in england.jpg
File:Shariahforbritan.jpg
File:UKverUS.jpg
File:Anglos Eat Babies.jpg
File:UKessense.jpg
File:Bob_grant_teeth.png
File:UK Cops Faggotry 238.png
File:UK Armed Forces Fagggotry.png
File:UK School Slave 2017.jpg
File:British cops sexually ahrassed by nonwhite scum.jpg
File:UKSS.jpg
File:UKUSlol.jpg
File:PolUKsum.png
File:Angloact.jpg
File:Godfrey bloom old school brit.png
File:Uk police priorities.jpg
File:Muslims 70% inbred in bradford uk.jpg
File:Britan Then And Now.jpg
File:Cops Swastika.png
File:Cops UK fags.png
File:UK Knife Laws.jpg
File:Briturd.jpg
File:UK Schlomo Anglo.jpg
File:UK Big Angloballs.jpg
File:Britanball Gun Ban.jpg
File:UK I was Like.jpg
File:UK Brexit Pepe.jpg
File:UK Polandball Toilet.jpg
File:UK Brexit reality.png
File:UK Queen MAGA.jpg
File:Watford gap, northamptonshire, uk.png|[http://www.streetmap.co.uk/map?x=458500&y=269500&z=0&sv=458500,269500&st=4&tl=Watford+Gap+in+Northamptonshire&mapp=map&searchp=ids {{colortext|WHITE|Watford Gap, Northamptonshire}}]
File:Police hit by "ooh betty" prankster.jpg|{{colortext|WHITE|Typical UK crime-wave}}
</gallery></center>|border=red|background=blue}}
</center>
 

==See also==
[[File:Omgbritish.gif|thumb|[[Typical]] Briton's reaction to this page.]]
*[[Abbey Road]]
*[[Britchan]]
*[[British Scum]] - A comprehensive guide to the 'people' of this [[gay|green]] and [[shitty|pleasant]] land.
*[[Britain's Got No Fucking Talent]]
*[[Brexit]]
*''[[Buck Bumble]]''
*[[Chav]]
*[[Cheeky Nando's]]
*[[Chuckle Brothers]]
*[[Daily Mail]]
*[[Europe]]
*[[Fat]]
*[[Keep Calm and Carry On]]
*[[Mornington Crescent]]
*[[Poppy Fascism]]
*[[Pussy]]
*[[Shanespannercock]]
*[[U WOT M8]]

== External Links ==
[[File:Framley examiner.png|thumb|right|150px|"Framley's Traditional Favourite Since 1978"]]
*'''{{archive|jS4us|A Guide to the UK}}'''
*'''{{archive|fKjCQ|British woman masturbates to death but the British way of death. Lolwut.}}'''
*'''{{archive|WCVI3|Typical British behaviour.}}'''
*'''{{archive|eyepv|Biscuits and nettles are considered assault weapons in Londonistan}}'''
*[https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/manchester-new-years-eve-pictures-10673770 Manchester celebrates New Year, very cool gallery of drunk britfags]
*[http://www.framleyexaminer.com/ ''The Framley Examiner''] - Britain's best local newspaper
*[https://www.bbc.co.uk/history/historic_figures/kitchener_lord_horatio.shtml War Criminal Lord Kitchener Horatio Drowned]
*{{wayback|http://encyclopediasupreme.org/pdf/Mahdishead.pdf|20160527111547|title=Lord Kitchener Horatio loved to dismember his enemies like Prophet Mahdi from 1896-1899 Soudan - UK War}}
{{Britfags}}
{{Commonwealth}}

{{timeline|Featured article June 27 & 28 [[2016]]|[[Mighty No. 9]]|United Kingdom|[[Rat]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article May 27 & 28, [[2017]]|[[ISIS]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Terrorism]]}}
{{timeline|Article of the Now September 8 & 9, [[2021]]|[[Supreme Court]]|[[United Kingdom]]|[[9/11]]}}

Susan Wojcicki

2024-08-15T22:28:39Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{withjews}}
{{Potential}}
{{achtung|[https://x.com/Dexerto/status/1822141214805651940 REST IN PISS FAGGOT LOLLLLL]}}
{{spoiler|Susan fucking ruined JewTube}}
[[File:Susan Wojcicki.jpg|thumb|200px|YouTube's Disgraced CEO.]]
[[File:Susan NPC.png|thumb|200px|What Susan Really Is.]]

The [[2017|late]] [[2018|2010s]] had become a horrible time for teh internets. Rampant corruption reached up into several large mainstream websites and internet monopolies. Being a monopoly with a lack of competition, it became no surprise when [[YouTube]] happened to become one of these eexamples. '''Susan Wojcicki'''{{jew}} was a horrible excuse of a CEO, a puppet taking orders from the corrupt cuntpany known as Alphabet/[[Google]]. She was infamously known for her part in fucking up the already fucked-up platform known as [[YouTube|JewTube]] and making the site even worse. Susan Wojcicki served as an example on how not to be a CEO, and a case study on why crazy people shouldn't be allowed to have jobs, let alone lead a company.

== Early Life (here we go again...) ==
Hardly anything is known about Susan Wojcicki's childhood. However, what is known about Susan Wojcicki is her birthdate and the way she has been programmed to perceive [[George Orwell]]'s [[1984]] as an Instruction Manual. She's been programmed to be an NPC and become part of the establishment.

== Assigned to YouTube CEO ==
Since February 2014, Susan was appointed CEO of JewTube and literally did absolutely nothing for 2 years. This was until a significant amount of unfunny whores (who somehow gained popularity) complained about losing their ability to earn JewGold off their website due to lack of maintenance of YouTube's automated systems which automatically shut them off from making JewGold.

=== 2 Years of doing absolutely nothing ===
Until February 2016, Susan Wojcicki was doing absolutely nothing, even the failed USA President [[Barack Obama]] did more during his 8-year Presidential term. Due to the lack of maintenance that YouTube's been receiving, this had led to rampant false strikes and terminations, which soon later began to fuck with the larger YouTube Channels entering into 2016.

=== She starts listening (KINDA...) ===
YouTube's systems become increasingly unstable as YouTube's broken automated systems become less maintained. Any small channel were badly affected by the system. Now the system is degraded enough that it affects the big losers and they get a feeling of copyright strikes, bullshit community guidelines strikes and a lot of other weird shit. During February 2016, Susan Wojcicki noticed the 2 hashtags #WTFU and #MakeYouTubeGreatAgain by notable losers such as the [[Nostalgia Critic]], [[I Hate Everything]], [[GradeAUnderA]], etc. and responded. Leading to some actually decent changes prior to the Election.

== Post November 2016 Susan ==
During the post-2016-USA-Election days, the establishment cunts started throwing massive temper tantrums over [[Donald Trump]]'s victory in the [[2016 Election|2016 US Presidential Election]]. Because Susan was a left-leaning kind of person,she's sympathetic to those kinds of [[NPCs]]. Susan and the rest of the YouTube Team becomes more out of touch with their content creators and bows down to the Mainstream Media and Advertisers, whom they want to part take in making YouTube more of a boring shithole than it already is (probably in an attempt to make everyone else's lives shitty because they can't accept that fact that Trump is their fucking President). [[some argue|There have been rumors and speculations]] by the YouTube Community that Susan Wojcicki might actually be an NPC. During May of 2017, These rumors are made to be true after reports about Susan Wojcicki bitching about people interrupting her considering that actions microaggressions. Susan further proven herself when she and the YouTube team decided to combat Hate Speech by teaming up with two extremely sinister corporations, ADL (Anti Defamation League, The group of Jews who them and their corporations should've been gassed in Auschwitz as well as being part of [[Josef Mengele]]'s experiments a long time ago) as well as SPLC (Southern Poverty Law Center, An even worse version of ADL), as well as sinister government at the time, The Swedish Government. All took part in turning YouTube into a digital gulag for political dissidents like [[Alex Jones]].

== Fire Susan ==
In 2017 after the [[PewDiePie]] controversy. With fake news taking advantage of advertisers YouTube's demonetization feature. Liberal News outlets tend to make fake stories to convince advertisers to pull ads off of YouTube, Convincing the YouTube team to demonetize video after video causing the Adpocalypse. Which lead to several Youtubers bitching about not getting the JewGold that they used to earn during previous days. Combine that with the false strikes and channel terminations and you got people leading the the conclusion to demand the firing of YouTube's disgraced CEO as they perceived Susan Wojcicki not being fit to handle this job.

== Susan Makes a JewTube Channel ==
Susan actually made her JewTube channel back in September 21, 2013 but didn't start using it until September 27, 2017 where she uploaded her first video. Due to all the bullshit she has caused on YouTube in 2017. [[Karma|She got bombarded with hate comments and dislikes]]. A month later. She uploads another video stating why she started her YouTube channel. Like her first video. It's shit and bombarded with hate comments along with dislikes. During the summer of 2018. Susan sees her dislikes and hate comments after months of counting money whilst having her head stuck inside her asshole. Instead of handling criticism like a normal person. Susan responds by deleting her two videos as she fears it would tarnish her already damaged reputation and ruin her image already looking like a sinister crook. Her newer videos aren't really slaughtered in the dislikes compared to her previous deleted videos, but this doesn't mean it's devoid of hate comments however.

== Susan Awards Herself ==
[[File:Wojcicki Awards Wojcicki an Award.jpg|thumb|center|500px|[[Typical]] Snooze-an.]]
Despite her efforts into transforming YouTube as the clickbait-infested, whoremongering [[Israel|Seventh Circle of Hell]] that it is today, Susan remains a [[Weak|strong]], [[Parasite|independent]] [[Hermaphrodite|female figure]]. In fact, her status of [[unwarranted self-importance]] reached levels so critical that, [[shill|in a campaign sponsored entirely by her own company]], she gave herself [[Irony|an award for free expression]].
 
<center><youtube>xDcvPf78g1k</youtube></center>
 
Yup. This actually happened. Most of the video is essentially Susan patting herself on the back, with the script written in an elegant propaganda style only [[CNN]] could pull off. Susan, being the manipulative, scum-sucking whore that she is, stalls the audience by showcasing a wide variety of [[Lies|"women shaping the world"]], which mostly involves facecam footage of other kikes and a 5-second appearance of a [[Terrorist|Muslim woman]].

Of course, such [[Faggotry|an act]] enraged so many users that flocks of accounts dislike-bombed her shitty, corporate asskissery of a video. As of right now, it boasts one of the strongest dislike-to-like ratios on YouTube, surpassed by none other than [[Cancer|YouTube Rewind]].

== Death ==
On August 9, 2024, [[And nothing of value was lost|Susan got BTFO by cancer that she'd been battling for 2 years.]]

== External Links ==
* {{yt|c|UCg7fzx4PEk96-7Ec2Ol2dJA|Susan Wojcicki}} - Her shitty channel

{{ytseries|title=Susan Wojcicki}}
{{Social Justice}}
{{Social Media}}
{{Jewseries}}
{{Web 2.0}}
{{FakeNews}}
[[Category:YouTube]]
{{Timeline|Featured article August 16 and 17, [[2024]]|[[Weed]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[United Kingdom]]}}

Weed

2024-08-15T22:28:02Z

Yamla:

{{pain}}
{{spoiler|[[Canada|CANADIA]] AND MEXICO LEGALIZED RECREATIONAL W33D AND [https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/414943-michigan-voters-approve-recreational-marijuana NAO MICHIGAN]}}
[[File:420 Chart.png|thumb|350px|Know the signs]]
[[File:The herbal jew.jpg|thumb|The [[metapedia|dirty jews]] in [http://www.salon.com/2013/09/16/medical_marijuana_sprouts_in_israel/ israel] love smoking [[Satan|the devil's lettuce]].]]

'''Weed''' (AKA: ''Marijuana, Cannabis, Pot, Kush, 420, Hash, Mary Jane'' and ''Skunk'') was invented simultaneously by every religion's [[God]] [[at least 100 years ago]] in 1969 on the planet [[Mexico]] and legalized [[Last Thursday]]. [[Hippies|Some people]] say that [[God]] made it. [[Conservatives|Others]] will disagree and say that [[Satan]] did, but everybody knows that actually it was invented in [[Colombia]] because every single Colombian is an expert on the manufacture of every illegal [[drug]].

Although not [[Cocaine|the best drug in the world]], cannabis is easily the ''coolest'' drug for anyone to use; statistics say that 85% of people die the first time using it, but 100% of all survivors report having an all-round more kickass life. Roses are red, violets are blue, pot is green. I'm really baked. [[Fat fuck|And hungry]]. Several studies show that marijuana can affect short-term memory. Several studies show that marijuana can affect short-term memory.

==Usage==
Prior to the 1960s, Cannabis was mainly used by [[spick]]s and [[porch monkey]]s. This all changed when Jerry Garcia invented the [[Hippy|dirty hippy]] by forgetting to shower for a few years, thus increasing cannabis consumption dramatically across the [[US]]. However, it was still difficult to acquire at that time because [[The Beatles]] and The Dead were using most of it to help them write songs about [[Lolrus|walruses]] and glass onions. Thankfully, The Beatles broke up in 1970, allowing the [http://web.archive.org/web/20091101084637/http://www.triplestarnews.com/images/the_memo/bonedog/reefer/grass.html rest of the world to enjoy it] as well. Soon, it was common enough that even [[white people]] could find it.

Being the cheapest dirt available on the market, it is used by a wide variety of people, except [[rednecks]] (who prefer cheap [[beer]], [[meth]] and [[Faggotry|dick-sucking]]), [[Heath Ledger]] (who is [[death|dead]]), and [[old people]] (who are already way stoned on [[Opioids|prescription meds]]). Because of the simultaneous existence of [[Snoop Dogg]], Willie Nelson, and [[Bill Clinton]], many feared a shortage would arise, but thankfully [[Mexico]] stepped up to the plate [[last Thursday]] and increased production of [[13 year old boys| 13-year-old boys]], who are known to grow weed in their closets (so their parents don't find out).

==Delta 8 and other weird pseudolegal shit==
Recently a number of companies have started [[lulz|selling products containing cannabinoids that are technically found in the hemp plant]] including delta 8 THC, HHC and delta 10 THC, making them legal under the 2018 farm bill. These products usually have 0 lab testing and are filled with industrial solvents, but still [[13 year old boys]] are lining up to get a mediocre, extremely subtle high followed by lung and brain damage from inhaling [[piss]] and [[shit|vitamin E]].

==What is it like to be cannabis?==
[[File:When The Kush.jpg|thumb]]
Cannabis is the unluckiest plant on the planet since most of it ends up in [[Seth Rogen]]'s disgusting mouth. Even more unlucky than watermelon. As the chicken of the plant world, cannabis is a horrible victim of industrial genocide on a massive scale. Forced into factory farms and overcrowded conditions under artificial lamps, most cannabis lives an abysmal life where its only escape is death. If a lifeform is unfortunate enough to be born cannabis, there is an at least 100% chance it will end up in the mouths of either diabetic [[nigger]]s, thieving [[spic]]s, [[white people]] in dreadlocks or cornrows, or filthy neo-[[hippies]] who don't even revolt anymore. This unspeakable genocide is even more tragic since the enormous murder of cannabis is mainly so people will buy artisanal [[stoner|hackysacks]] and delusionally think that bad music or bad art or bad shows or junk food are actually good. Like everything else that comes from [[India]], cannabis is subjected to overcrowding, grubby hands, pop spirituality, white people who think they know how to do it better, and harmful industrial chemicals.

Humans justify the widespread captivity and abuse of this undeserving plant because they have legs, even though you're not even using your legs while you read this. Humans think they're better than cannabis, even though they don't even have chlorophyll, and consequently have to either [[Job|work for a living]], [[Chav|leech off the government]], live in their [[Basement-dweller|parents' basement]], learn the [[homeless|hobo code]], or sell weed.

Cannabis is heavily promoted by global [[capitalism]] since it spurs consumption and mindless media watching. When consumed it makes lettuce-pickers, janitors, maids, and fast-food workers not give a shit, turns people into braindead morons who will waste money on the dumbest shit imaginable, helps trained killers cope with their war crimes, and pacifies the masses into not revolting -- except for the rare instances when a user uses it and [[Jared Lee Loughner|shoots a Congresswoman]], or shoots his wife, or jumps from a hotel balcony, or shoots themself in the head, or [[Trayvon Martin|cases a bunch of houses and attacks someone and gets shot]], or [[Michael Brown|tries to steal a cop's gun and gets shot]]. As you can see, cannabis is perfectly safe and never killed anyone, ever. When [[alcohol]] kills people, it's alcohol's fault, but when weed kills people it's because the people were already crazy. Cannabis even cures [[cancer]], like in Bob Marley who defeated cancer by dying of it at 36.

==Obvious slang names for weed==
[[File:420lol.jpg|thumb|The Taliban used the profits they obtained from selling weed [[Jews did WTC|to do WTC]]. Still think weed is cool?]]
[[File:Kitten covered in cannabis nugs.jpg|thumb|I iz gettin t3h stoned from teh weeds 4 [[caturday]].......]]
[[File:morgan_weedman.jpg|thumb|[[Morgan Freeman|Morgan Weedman]]]]
Cannabis is referred to using many slang terms, including:
* Weed
* Reefer
* Pot
* Kush
* Ganj (or, Ganja)
* Marijuana
* Mary Jane
* Bhang
* Flower
* Bud
* Choof
* Grass
* Indo
* Pol Pot
* Buddha
* Gamer fuel
* Scooby snacks
* Pokin' Smot
* Chronic
* Wacky [[Chris-chan|tobacky]]
* Sticky icky-icky
* Some of that green shit
* David Allan Coe
* Dope (''a slang term for [[heroin]] used interchangeably with weed by [[baby boomers]]'')
* Stank
* Jolly green bananas
* Short bus biofuel
* Jungle fungus
* Cro-magnon
* Short-term memory what?
* Polynesian pinkeye
* The Incredible Hulk
* Libertarian tobacco
* Hobo harvest
* Mojave dry-mouth
* Arabian crime (''because it gets you stoned'')
* [https://uproxx.com/hiphop/desiigner-smoking-jew-kids/ Jew kids]

==Effects==
[[File:fattie.jpg|thumb|right|[[Om nom nom]]!]]
===Cottonmouth===
Like anything that has ever existed [[evar]], marijuana has ''upsides'' and ''downsides''. Cannabis causes cottonmouth, which, [[obvious|as the name suggests]], makes you feel like you just ate a piece of fucking cotton. Other effects of cottonmouth are the absence of any saliva in your mouth except for that tiny bit of semen you forgot to swallow. Cottonmouth can be avoided by not smoking weed, or drinking a shit-ton of water afterward.

===Reggae===
Possibly the worst side effect of smoking weed, it is known for making white middle-class teenagers appreciate reggae music, which is [[truth|utter shit]]. They'll come up to you and start talking about how much they appreciate Bob Marley, and show you [[Shit nobody cares about|their Bob Marley shirt, Bob Marley flag, and Bob Marley cock ring]], because capitalism is for bastards.

===Munchies===
Aaaaaaannnd this would be one of the ''upsides'' of using cannabis. You take a bite of one chip and the next thing you know your entire pantry is ''fucking empty''. After that, it's off to [[7-Eleven]], and you've just dropped a thousand grand on numerous deep-fried pastries alone. Of course, you made sure to waste no time while fumbling around the shop with your three deadshit stoner [[Faggots|friends]], wandering aimlessly and calling out to each other about how stoned you all are, much to the annoyance of the pitifully hollow existence running the service desk that Monday morning. Oh, and you also managed to make a mess of the Slurpee machine. You tried to mix every single flavor into your super-ultra double-sized plastic [[fat fuck]] cup for fat fucks, and you broke it. Smoking marijuana is the best way to get [[Girlvinyl|excessively fat]] and disgusting, especially if you're [[Zaiger|retarded]], which most stoners happen to be. Although this extreme weight gain can be avoided if your skin complexion happens to be dark enough to warrant regular visits from the [[cops]], as running from incarceration is a [[fun]] exercise recommended by [[Nigger|health experts]] across the nation as a proven, time-tested means of shedding those unsightly pounds and all that extra flab hanging from your gut.

Again the best way to avoid the munchies is to ''not smoke weed''.
{{clear}}

==[[DO IT FAGGOT]]==
[[File:MARIJUANA.jpg|thumb|Over 1,000,000 stoned.]]
[[Image:Blazedfurbie.png|thumb|Trippin' Balls.]]
Some people claim to be allergic to it, so, in theory, they could die from it. Even though it's generally accepted that no one ever has in the 2,000+ years of cannabis use by humans. They could die. Seriously. [[Lol|Or suffer extreme brain damage]].

Marijuana has been proven to fight [[cancer|brain cancer]] and [[lie|increase the smoker's I.Q. by stimulating new brain cell growth]], but as a side effect also causes [[schizophrenia]] and sometimes [[fat|obesity]]. It's up to [[your mom]] to decide whether that's a fair trade-off.
Some people claim to take cannabis but "[[Bill Clinton|don't inhale]]". There is a [[99.9%]] chance that anyone who says this is full of shit.

<center>{{frame|{{fv|weedvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<center>'''First time smoking Weed.'''</center> <youtube>LWX_YaIONg8</youtube>
|<center>'''Pot smokers everywhere should follow this guy's advice.'''</center><youtube>EkQ5gHe1aYY</youtube>
|<center>'''Best reporter ever.'''</center><youtube>MMpiU1pqImU</youtube>
|<center>'''Cops break in and kill dumbass pothead's dog. lol pwned.'''</center><youtube>RbwSwvUaRqc</youtube>
|<center>'''Smoke weed everyday'''</center><youtube>foTRIH4qkf8</youtube>
}}|border=white|background=white}}</center>

{{squote|I've found the best thing to get me asleep is cannabis—and all the people I know who smoke it agree.|Anonymous suggests you|[http://www.well.com/~mick/insomnia/insomnia.27.html Smoke Yourself to Sleep]}}
{{clear}}
==Stoner threads on /b/==
Lately there has been a new [[shitstorm]] of threads ruining [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|our beloved]] /b/ - the [[420chan|stoner threads]]. There are a fuckload of them popping up everywhere and they are quite popular, even though [[oldfags|many]] think they are retarded. The threads themselves consist mainly of comics, [http://www.fap-roulette.com/2010/01/hot-girls-420-godlike-internet-win.html Girls Gettin' High] and image macros [[Advice Dog/Variations|(stonerdog)]] of situations associated with the consumption of marijuana or other [[drugs]]. Many of said images are completely fucked up and futile and could clearly only have been made by someone who has melted his brain with weed.
 

==LEGALIZE IT==
Ever since [[Baby boomers|IRL oldfags]] all started to fuck off and die for the betterment of humanity, the whiny pea-brained [[Millennials|crybabies]] they've left to take their place in brown-scorching the Earth have finally begun to make themselves useful: by leading the fight to legalize cannabis! Now, only a select few shitty redneck states don't have legal medical weed. Recently, many places across the world have fully legalized this shit for recreational purposes:

[[Image:Cannabis8ag.jpg|thumb|right|350px|What would happen if weed were to be legalized.]]
#[[Alaska]]
#[[California|Commiefornia]] - And about time!
#[[Canada]] - Legalized it on October 17th, 2018
#[[Colorado]] - Legalized it in 2012, starting a chain reaction
#[[Maine]]
#[[Massachusetts]]
#[[Mexico]] - Cannabis prohibition found to be unconstitutional on [[Halloween|October 31st]], 2018
#[[Michigan]] -
#[[Minnesota]] - Only place you can buy it until 2025 is a stinky [[injun|indian]] reservation, though
#[[Netherlands]] - Legalized this shit ages ago
#[[Nevada]]
#[[Oregon]]
#[[Uruguay]] - [[You're|You are]] [[gay]]
#[[Vermont]] - No commercial sales
#[[Washington]]
{{clear}}

==Videos==
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|WEED|background-color: #DBD8CD;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>M58kGCQLwxU</youtube> <center>'''Don't legalize it'''</center>
|<youtube>CPvH1vSYXCg</youtube> <center>'''Munchies'''</center>
|<youtube>jK8fAUlqbow</youtube> <center>'''All You Need'''</center>
|<youtube>CTEHSolQqD0</youtube> <center>'''Reefer will make you violent lol'''</center>
|<youtube>gs6gFPFdOhQ</youtube> <center>'''Do not operate heavy machinery whilst under the influence of marijuana'''</center>
|<youtube>LBYCmYAubUY</youtube> <center>'''Bush did weed..'''</center>
|<youtube>BPYyrJk4ExU</youtube> <center>'''As did obama'''</center>
|<youtube>E4GneX1jj94</youtube> <center>'''Me irl lol'''</center>
|<youtube>FKb3qRljGBc</youtube> <center>'''Durango Rep bitches'''</center>
|<youtube>xhDMp_WNje8</youtube> <center>'''There's a cop car outside your house. Look out the window. Now.'''</center>
}}|border=#000000|background=#FFFFFF}}
|}

==Galleries==

===General===
{{cg|420-BLAZE-IT-FAGGOT|roach|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Marijuana_-_Ultimate_Bong.jpg|The ultimate bong!
Image:Marijuana_-_Keep_Calm.jpg
Image:Twitter_-_First_Time_Smoking.png
image:Stoned Agin.jpeg
Image:Bong.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
[[File:Schoolchildren drug insanity evening standard 7 oct 1929.jpg|A Warning From History
Image:Wake ad bake.jpg|Nutritious ''and'' delicious!
Image:God_-_Marijuana_Wanted_Poster.jpg
Image:haze2.jpg|''Cannabis sativa''
Image:Stonerdog.jpg|Giggling mindlessly at this picture is a sure symptom of being stoned.
Image:Image007.jpg
File:Potbrownies.jpg
File:Bird Feeder Bong.png
File:Trump Weed.png
Image:HalfSmokey.jpg
File:Weedswasika.jpg|Weedstika
File:Awesomeist ever.gif
File:Bagofweed.jpg|All you need
File:Weednuggets.jpg|Legal colorado weed
File:Wtf puffin.jpg
File:Marijuana - Turned Gay.jpg|Harmless?
File:Juggalomom.jpg|Once again... harmless?
File:Scumbag congress cannabis no medical use.jpg
File:Canada flag weed leaf.jpg|Legalized on October 17th, 2018
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Comics===
{{cg|Stoner Comics|stonercomics|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Stoner Comic High Weed Music.png
Image:Stoner Comic OG Kush.png
Image:Stoner Comic Melted.png
Image:Stoner Comic Dog Poop.png
Image:Stoner comic 3.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Abovetheinfluence.jpg|Harsh reality.
Image:Stoner Comic Free Cake.png
Image:Stoner Comic Cat.png
Image:Stoner Comic Tiny Hippy.png
Image:Stoner Comic Sucks.png
File:Timeline of marijuana use.png
<!>Image:Stoner comic 1.png<!>
<!>Image:Stoner comic 2.png<!>
<!>Image:Stoner comic 4.jpg<!>
<!>Image:Stoner comic 5.jpg<!>
<!>Image:Stoner comic 6.png<!>
<!>Image:Stoner comic 7.jpg<!>
<!>Image:Stoner comic 8.jpg<!>
<!>Image:Stoner comic 9.jpg<!>
<!>Image:Lunchbox1.png<!>
</gallery>
|}}

===Image Macros===
{{cg|Stoner Image Macros||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Stoner-Dog-Dude-I-forgot-what-i-had-forgoten.jpg
Image:Stoner-Dog-dude-wat.jpg
Image:Stoner-Dog-forget-snickers-bar-in-your-pocket-Its-like-a-present.jpg
Image:Stoner-Dog-mispronounce-a-word-in-the-middle-of-your-sentance-laugh-and-forget-what-you-were-goint-to-say.jpg
Image:Chickenpotpie.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
<!>File:Stoner-Dog-text-girl-remember-you-forgot-to-send-it.jpg<!>
<!>File:Stoner-Dog-Walk-into-kitchen-for-orange-juice-Walk-out-with-sandwich-crackers-chocolate-milk-and-the-remote-you-lost-30-minutes-ago.jpg<!>
<!>File:Stoner-Dog.jpg|Jup, that's about right.<!>
<!>File:Supergrassdiamondpr.JPG|Daww this just ruïned it...<!>
</gallery>}}

==See Also==
*[[Doopie DoOver/Drugs]]
*[[Drugs]]
*[[Marijuana Addiction]]
*[[Stoner]]
*[[Stoner Dog]]
*[[Stoner Guru]]
*[[Colorado]]

==External links==
*[http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/11/09/us-usa-mutilation-california-idUSBRE9A802Q20131109 Weed dispensary owner gets cock cut off]

{{Drugs}}
{{Afro}}
{{FakeNews}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 12 & 13, [[2023]]|[[BLMKidnapping]]|{{PAGENAME}}|Fuck The Police}}

{{Timeline|Featured article August 15, [[2024]]|[[Car]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Susan Wojcicki]]}}

[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]

User talk:Yamla

2024-08-15T22:26:22Z

Yamla: Redirected page to wikipedia:User talk:Yamla

#REDIRECT [[wikipedia:User talk:Yamla]]

User:Yamla

2024-08-15T22:25:42Z

Yamla: Redirected page to wikipedia:User:Yamla

#REDIRECT [[wikipedia:User:Yamla]]