Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

4chan

2025-04-15T06:42:51Z

Stooge:

{{spoilers|4chan has been ruined by incell redditors, [[Moot|M00t]] became a sellout and [[2016]] fucked up everthing}}
{{notice|Want to do anything on 4chan, better verify your email or wait over 10 mins (or just lurk)}}
{{achtung|[[Soyjak.party|THE SHARTY]] HACKED THE SITE}}
{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=4chan|imageboard_logo=[[Image:4chan logo 1.png|66px]]|date_founded=October 1, 2003|major_boards=[[a/|/a/]],[[b/|/b/]],[[Bitcoin|/biz/]],[[co/|/co/]],[[dickgirl|/d/]],[[fa/|/fa/]],[[G|/g/]],[[hentai|/h/]],[[int/|/int/]] [[k/|/k/]],[[po/|/po/]],[[pol/|/pol/]],[[Plz|/r/]],[[R9gay|/r9k/]],[[qst/|/qst/]],[[s/|/s/]],[[soc/|/soc/]],[[Bittorrent|/t/]],[[tv/|/tv/]],[[v/|/v/]],[[Vidya|/vg/]],[[Jewtube|/wsg/]]|epic_win=None, this is a porn site|homepage=[https://4chan.org/ 4chan.org]|right}}

[[Image:4chan userbase.png|thumb|What are you?]]
[[Image:Moot 4chanGod.jpg|right|Behold the destroyer of worlds.]]
[[Image:Alec Guiness.jpg|thumb|You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.]]
[[Image:4chan relationship.gif|thumb|Typical 4chan user.]]
[[Image:4chan conversation.png|thumb|Typical 4chan conversation.]]
[[Image:4chan_mascots.jpg|thumb|If you don't know who any of these things are, you need to [[Lurk Moar|LURK MOAR]].]]
[[Image:Mycatdied.JPG|thumb|[[b/|/b/]] always offers good advice.]]
[[Image:Official 4chan troll seal.gif|thumb|Trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls.]]
[[Image:4chanexposure.jpg|thumb|This will happen to [[you]].]]

'''4chan''' is and always has been many things to many people. To [[Faux News]], 4chan is a hazardous "Leftist [[Internet Hate Machine]]" filled with [[Terrorism|domestic terrorists]], to CNN, it is a person and a [[hacker]] responsible for leaking newdz and installing [[The Donald|Blumpf]] into power. To others, it is that site full of [[weeaboo]]s, [[incel]]s, [[troll]]s, [[racist]]s, [[children]], and [[pedophile]]s that churns out many of the Internet's most popular [[AIDS|viral content]].

At its core, 4chan is an [[anonymous]] [[animu|Japanimation]]-themed collection of [[porn|image]] [[imageboard|boards]] based on the popular Japanese site [[Futaba Channel]]. 4chan is proof positive that the [[United States]] should not have stopped with Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but should have nuked the entire island of [[Japan]] off the face of the Earth. The site is home to a wide assortment of degenerate losers, all of whom have at least some variant of [[nerds|social anxiety]] [[The xchan effect|disorder]]. So, not surprisingly, most of the [[nsfw]] imageboards consist of [[hentai]] and [[Pain series|shock images]]. And at the heart of 4chan is [[B|/b/]].

{{quote|<@Moot> Reggin 4chan.net brace for faggotry|[[moot]] on registering 4chan. At least he was right about the faggotry.}}

A few popular Internet "[[meme]]s" have their roots in /b/, 4chan's largest and most notorious board. This has led to [[Anonymous]] declaring itself [[internet celebrity|"the face of the Internet"]], when it is truly more reminiscent of the [[anus]] of the [[Internets]]. 4chan is like the butt-plug of the Internet in that it holds all the shit inside the rectums so it doesn't spray out all over. When 4chan [[DDoS|goes down]], it's like the Internet has [[tubgirl|explosive diarrhea]].

4chan got it's start from Something Awful [[moot]] a poster on ADTRW (The Anime Forum) and some other [[faggots]] needed a site that they could host their <s>Child Porn</s> [[Anime]]. Moot also had an obsession with 2Channel so he decided to download Futabally and translate it to English, then host it on a webserver. He originally sent it to 20 of his [[goon]] friends and eventually everyone in ADTRW and every other Something Awful board full of closet anime pedophiles (all of them) started to use 4chan and the Internet Hate Machine began.

==Imageboard Guide==
[[Image:Typeagain.jpg|thumb|The average /b/tard at work. [[DESU]] [[DESU]] [[DESU]]]]
The seasoned Internet traveler might find himself debased when presented by the mass of confusion that is so well embodied in 4chan. It is the home of asocial, and at times anti-social, [[white people|white folk]] who believe in the superiority of everything that is [[Japan]]ese because 4chan users love anime almost as much as they love dick. It is divided into many sub-boards, each having its distinct theme for image posting to satisfy the deviant mind. Occasionally to stir up some fun, the mods place [[wordfilter]]s in the boards to completely fuck around with peoples' posts/opinions. When it comes down to it, every board on 4chan is just /b/ with a theme. Everyone talks the same, complains the same, and trolls the same. Except the hentai boards, they're special. There are also a number of text boards, but nobody cares about them.

[[Image:HEY DIPSHITS.png|left|thumb|HEY [[newfag|DIPSHITS]]! See this? CLICK IT AND DO WHAT IT SAYS]]

*'''[[3/|/3/]]''' - Quite possibly the slowest board on 4chan, /3/ is about [[DreamWorks|3D animation]] (also referred to as 3DCG), and where a bunch of basement-dwelling [[Virgins|hobbyists]] discuss such projects. Due to the fact that almost no one outside of the [[Pixar|film industry]] wants to waste thousands of hours learning how to use obtuse softwares, the board is pretty much a ghosttown. It is regularly being bent over and raped by various flavors of /b/tards who go there for [[faggotry]] like [[Combofag|combos]], [[doubles]], and otherwise [[GET|predicting their post number]].

*'''[[a|/a/]]''' - Animu & Mango. Basically just /v/ for [[anime]] and, as such, churns out its own memes at a similar rate. They hate anime just like /v/ hates the vidya. No longer tame by any standard, it has become a hive of ronrey [[otaku]] seeking [[PROMOTION|PROMOTIONS]] and discussing their [[Waifu|waifus]] ad infinitum.

*'''[[Rule 34|/aco/]]''' - Adult Cartoons. A board added a short while after [[moot]] skipped town and the age-long taboo against furries and non-Japanese cartoon porn was lifted. It is filled with horribly drawn [[rule 34]] of [[Disney]] characters, lifted directly from the bottommost reaches of [[DeviantArt]].

*'''[[adv|/adv/]]''' - /r9k/ 2: [[Electric Boogaloo]]. Advice was a test board that was made in attempts to deter all the [[LJ|bawww]] threads from /r9k/. Obviously the experiment had failed, but /adv/ got to hang around regardless.

*'''[[EXTREME ANIMALS|/an/]]''' - Animals and [[Bestiality|shit like that]]. These people take their hobby very seriously. You will learn things you never needed to know about [[Cat|cats]], iguanas and jumping [[Spider|spiders]]. The regulars there refer to themselves as /an/ts because they [[fail|couldn't come up with anything better]].

[[Image:Bannnff.jpg|thumb|/b/ = /b/oycock]]

*'''[[b|/b/]]''' - [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/|What the fuck did you just say about me? MODS = FAGS slowpoke1.jpg rolling I wanna marry BAWKSY guis! Wincest thread shit was SO cash DESU hay guise do i look hot requesting cp I'm 12 and what is this I don't even She EPIN /b/.]] If you want to lose all moral value and sanity, feel free to visit /b/. The majority of all 4chan traffic frequents this board. Illnesses and sexual deviations including but certainly not limited to [[autism]] and [[scat|coprophilia]] have been [[lie|scientifically proven]] to be symptoms of browsing /b/. Most people who regularly visit /b/ (or "/b/tards") are sociopaths altogether. [[anonymous|They]] <s>are</s> were also known for planning and executing attacks on others using the internet, such as scientologists, Australia, and most recently [[Julian_Assange#Mastercard_is_taken_out|Mastercard]] and [[PayPal]] in a misguided attempt to avenge [[Julian Assange]]. However, since [[moot]] and his mods are a pack of faggots, 4chan raids are no more.

*'''[[bant/|/bant/]]''' - International/Random, aka the grotesque lovechild of /b/, /int/ and /pol/. Was created sometime [[last thursday]] by [[Hiroyuki Nishimura|hiromoot]] to try and stem the tide of shitty off-topic threads on /pol/, and [[Typical|failed miserably at doing so]]. The unholy synthesis of some of 4chan's worse boards ended up creating an entirely new form of cancer, populated entirely by [[underage]] [[Memefag|meme-spouting faggots]]. Is also the current home of the beleaguered [[K-pop|k-pop]] general, after it [[Jews|managed to get kicked out of every other board on 4chan]].

*'''[[Money|/biz/]]''' - Looking for a board where [[Poor|slumdogs]] can give you advice on how to make the big bucks? Then this is for you. Created by moot when [[Bitcoin|buttcoins]] overloaded the asshole of /g/ and had to unload all the e-money begging threads here. Be wary of what the /biz/raelis tell you about how they "made it" or about random [[Cryptocurrency|cryptocoins]] you've never heard of; the place is full of pump-and-dump [[Scam|scams]].

*'''[[Kawaii|/c/]]''' - A very tame board (compared to the rest) for [[nerds]] who prefer [[anime|Japanese cartoons]] containing girls (and the term is used lightly) who look like [[Lolicon|four year olds]] with freakishly huge eyes. [[lie|One of the four realms where women could plausibly exist on the Internet.]]

*'''[[Girugamesh|/cgl/]]''' - [[Cosplay]] & [[EGL]]. Board full of tacos that partake in salsa. Images of people dressed as their favorite anime characters are posted here. <s>A few</s> Most of those people happen to be [[Fat#BBW|quite obese]] and they get severe muffin top when they attempt to dress up as Yoko.

*'''[[ck|/ck/]]''' - Food & Cooking. A board for people who have an [[Fat|unhealthy obsession]] with all things edible. Expect weeaboos and [[ramen]].

*'''[[cm/|/cm/]]''' - A board for [[animated]] [[cute]] [[male]]s. A haven for [[gaiaonline|Gaia]]/[[livejournal|LJ]] fags and [[Rednecks|obese trailer trash]]. One of the four realms where [[sixteen year old girl|women]] exist on the internet. Also a place where [[Shotacat]] might hang out. Call them h/cm/os.

*'''[[co|/co/]]''' - Comics & Cartoons. A place where the [[Neckbeard|dregs of society]] congregate to talk about cartoons made for [[children]] and comic books made for [[manchildren]]. It's populated mostly by deeply closeted furfags that embrace racism and misogyny, to the point of reporting and removing posts calling them out. Also, they can't stop sucking their own cocks. They refer to themselves as /co/mrades.

*'''[[shitting dick nipples|/d/]]''' - /d/icks, because EVERY FUCKING CREATURE IN THERE HAS A DICK!!!1 - Perhaps the hottest of all the cartoon boards on 4chan, /d/ is where they post images of [[hermaphrodite|hermaphroditic]] females with titanically oversized [[Boobs|tits]]. It should be noted that those on this board find such things sexually attractive and [[fap]] away over the posted images. But at least they don't post furries! (Except in every single monster girl thread, which all descend into working out how "furry" a picture is and thus how faggy they are. They genuinely do not see the irony in this). These people can no longer piss in a straight line due to massive fappage.

*'''[[diy/|/diy/]]''' - Do-It-Yourself. No, not a board for posting shit tier quality webcam photos of yourself fapping. Probably the only potentially interesting board to emerge on October 23, 2011, its purpose is to encourage the large statistic of typical 4chan users that include [[g/|technophiles]], [[OCD|hoarders]], [[poor|poorfags]], and other people who spend way too much time at home to get their lazy asses away from the innanetz and actually do something productive with their time. To reduce the chance that this board will too quickly spiral into <s>fun</s> chaos, moot strictly disallowed sharing knowledge of crafting illegal items such as [[k/|weapons]] or [[420chan|drug paraphernalia]].

*'''[[almost raped|/e/]]''' - Ecchi. A specialized cartoon board where they post naked women without explicitly showing their reproductive organs (or {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}}es). Wholly uninteresting, because it tends not to contain hilarious sexual fetishes or things blowing up. [[butthurt|Additionally, there is a 50% chance that if you post an ecchi image in a new thread, the moderators will accuse you of trying to make a request, banning you from /e/ for "this iz not /r/!!!!!1111"]]

*'''[[Flash|/f/]]''' - Flash. Somehow still hangs around despite Adobe killing Flash years ago. This board doesn't suffer from as much [[faggotry]] as some of the others due to the fact that most /b/tards have never fucking heard of it, and choose to dump their garbage onto /gif/ and /wsg/ instead. As a result, some good content has been posted on occasion, such as 8bitsharkwithwheels and flying lawnmower. Unfortunately, the rest of the content is shit already on [[Newgrounds]], reposts of flash videos that were already posted on /f/, and unfunny black person [[shoop da whoop|shoops]] of said reposts, except worse. [[Furries]] also like to troll this place by posting yiffing flash videos to piss everyone off. On Mondays, people love to post vocaloids flash videos.

*'''[[fa/|/fa/]]''' - Fashion. If you're looking for hipster faggots, /fa/ is the place to find them. This board might make sense on a site that wasn't filled with overweight wapanese assholes with no fashion sense of which to speak. But sadly, this is [[4chan]] we're talking about. Call them /fa/gs.

*'''[[fit|/fit/]]''' - <s>Health &</s> Fitness. Made out of fatasses who think posting SQUATZ in every thread is funny. Seeing as nobody on 4chan actually works out, the [[AIDS|fail]] is [[fail|doubled]]. The answer to every question is "SKWATZ N OATZ".

*[[g|'''/g/''']] - Technology. A lawless wasteland full of folk [[no life|lacking in life]] and substituting it with superficial techno-worship. It is evident to the observant electronic eye that no knowledgeable persons reside there. In ancient days it used to be for [[guro]] images, but then 4chan went pussy. [[Some Argue|It is well known]] /g/ is filled with more sage and nerdrage than any other board. They call themselves [[virgins|"tech support for the lulz"]].

*'''[[3/|/gd/]]''' - /3/, but in 2D.

*'''[[gif|/gif/]]''' - Board for posting animated GIFs of porno clips and saying "sauce" and "rapidshit" until someone goes out, finds you porn, and delivers it to you. Seriously, are you people that fucking devoted to being such utter basement-dwellers you can't just find your own porn, you have to get /gif/ to do it for you?

*'''[[hentai|/h/]]''' - Hentai. You can almost smell the [[semen]]-stained keyboards.

*'''[[Porn|/hc/]]''' - Hardcore porn. <s>[[moot]] finally decided to let it die.</s> One of the old boards that was revived on October 23, 2011. Probably the most normal porn you will see in any single collective area of 4chan. Expect plenty of photos of [[butterface|anon's ex-girlfriends]].

*'''[[Faggot|/hm/]]''' - Handsome Men. Intended for users to post up pictures of good looking men. Unfortunately it has become a horrific offspring of /b/ and /soc/ that is usually clogged up with threads that only consist of average to fugly [[Attention_whore|guys]] begging to see if [[Desperate|people will fuck them]], pointers on how to [[Rimjob|please your man]], and stories about their [[Shotacon|first gay experiences]]. Not to mention all the sick fucks here who masturbate to anything ranging from land whales to [[lemon-party]] to [[infantilism]]. [[Fact|This board is truly a piece of shit, even by 4chan standards.]]

*'''[[pix|/hr/]]''' - High Resolution. Originally intended for [[porn|pictures]] that are unnecessarily [[XBOX HUEG]] so it would take you 36 minutes to load anything on your grandma's shitty [[dial-up]]. Nowadays the focus has shifted to the discussion of [[Celebrity|Hollywood celebrities]] and their [[Foot Fetish|feet]].

*'''[[Pol/|/his/]]''' - History & Humanities. Basically /pol/ but with dates. Populated entirely by 21-year-old [[Pseudo-intellectual|pseudo-intellectuals]] who get their history from [[Paradox Interactive|video games]] and [[YouTube]] videos. Enjoy the daily Holocaust denial thread.

*'''[[Oekaki|/i/]]''' - No, this is not an [[I/|invasion board]], but a board for drawing. Why [[moot]] didn't just choose a different letter for the board is anyone's guess. [[Shit no one cares about|The "i" apparently comes from the last letter in the word "oekaki", which is moonspeak for "doodle" or "scribble"]]. The board has a built in application for drawing pictures to upload and share, called [[Shii|Shi]]-[[MS Paint|Painter]]. Not a bad board, but slower than fucked fuck. Gets about a dozen or so posts per day.

*'''[[ic/|/ic/]]''' - Artwork/Critique. [[Birkhead]] and [[drawhores]] who consider themselves too [[hipster]] for [[DeviantArt]].

*'''[[int/|/int/]]''' - International /b/, where trolls can [[troll]] in [[Spanish|their own retarded language]]. Otherwise, you can start a thread about just about anything, just as long as you append your shitty post with "in your country".

*'''[[Jailbait|/j/]]''' - The 4chan team's secret internal board. It's password-protected so you can't access unless you're a [[Moderator|faggot]].

*'''[[jp|/jp/]]''' - [[wapanese|Otaku]] [[basement dwellers|Culture]]. A board made for the sole purpose of moving all the [[Touhou]] and [[GAR|Type-Moon]] out of /a/, because they're actually off-topic. In other words, /jp/ is /v/, except that you need to install East Asian languages and AppLocale to run anything. Full of [[Forever Alone|ronery]] otakus buying figurines, body pillows, and other stuff "normal" people would look down on you for possessing. Please don't think that /jp/ has anything to do with Japan. The name is misleading, and, if you go there expecting to talk about [[IRL]] [[Japan]], you will be disappointed.

*'''[[k/|/k/]]''' - [[Politics|Weapons]]. Most of the denizens of this board are young Ted Kaczynski's, who believe that "the gubmint is gonna take our guns n' put us all in FEMA camps." One of the most common topics discussed on /k/ is how to kill [[Partyvan|feds]], [[niggers]], and [[Jews|ZOG]]. The other inhabitants of /k/ are mostly [[Europeans]] and weeaboo tripfags who are there solely to troll the incredibly easily trolled /k/ommandos with gun control topics.

*'''[[Lgbt/|/lgbt/]]''' - Moot's most recent attempt at going mainstream; catering to all [[fags|those]] who are [[Offended|butthurt]]. After all, why shouldn't [[You|fags]] have a [[s4s/|circlejerk board]]? The main board where most transissies complain about not being a girl or how badly they want to be a such a huge cock whore.

*'''[[Lit/|/lit/]]''' - Here is your damn [[book]] board ''moot!Ep8pui8Vw2 ## Admin''

*'''[[Gundam Wing|/m/]]''' - Board for talking about [[robot|robots]]. Just robots. [[animu|Anime]] ones.

*'''[[mlp/|/mlp/]]''' - For ponyfags. Basically it's just /b/ and /co/'s [[Rape|love]]child. It was created when the mods got asshurt about too many pony posts, and posting pony shit outside /mlp/ was made into a bannable offense as per the site's rules. It is the only rule the mods bother to enforce.

*'''[[Mu/|/mu/]]''' - Your favorite band sucks. If you've forgotten, /mu/ is happy to remind you. Made exclusively for discussing trv kvlt [[Black Metal]], [[Daft Punk]], and [[Neutral Milk Hotel]]. In other words, it's pretty much [[pitchfork media|pitchfork]].

*'''[[n/|/n/]]''' - /n/igga stoled mah board. A board for some gayshit about transportation (because every faggot who comes here loves [[cock|long and hard things]] like trains).

[[Image:4chan Left.jpg|thumb|You tell em]]

*'''[[Faux News|/news/]]''' - Not to be confused with [[pol/|/new/]]. A boring textboard where 50 year old [[Republican|Republicans]] hang around to share their favorite conspiracy updates from such reputable sources as ''daily-eagle.co.info''.

*'''[[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!|/o/]]''' - Board for [[car|cars]]. [[Noone|No one]] on this board actually owns a car. Regardless, most of the posters like Volvos, late 1980's Mustangs, [[wapanese|Japanese economy cars]], and Initial D.

*'''[[Outside|/out/]]''' - A board where [[Basement-dweller|outdoorsmen]] talk about fishing, fishing, fishing, and google pictures of scenery.

*'''[[Webcam|/p/]]''' - Photography. Full of pretentious [[hipster|hipsterfaggotry]] by weeaboos who take photographs when not [[fapping]] to [[lolicon]]. Whatever camera you use, they will claim that it sucks, unless it's a Pentax K-X.

*'''[[po|/po/]]''' Papercraft & Origami. Strong contender for the slowest board on 4chan, as it's been years since any normal person has actually given a shit about origami. But, hey, it's [[Japanese]] so it must be cool! The board's abbreviation is alternatively short for "poor" since it's filled with [[welfare|poorfag]] [[weeaboos]] asking for instructions on how to make substitute [[animu]] collectibles out of cardboard, and typically [[you fail it|failing miserably]] with their creations.

*'''[[Pol/|/pol/]]''' - Politics, or, /new/ 2: Electric Boogaloo. Once a place for [[Occupy Wall Street|OWS]] fags and stormfronters to gather in a circlejerk of [[Pseudo-intellectual|pseudo-intellectual]] opinions and images of [[Hitler|historical figures]] that they vaguely believe are relevant to their posts. It [[Donald Trump|has since]] grown to become one of the biggest boards on the site, even rivaling /b/ in its sheer flood of asinine garbage. [[Ron Paul|RON PAUL 2012 GUISE!!1!11]]

*'''[[Professional Wrestling|/pw/]]''' - [[Professional Wrestling]]. Has first been split from /sp/ to create /asp/, and then finally got its own dedicated board when [[Hiroyuki Nishimura|gookmoot]] realized the wrestling crapflood left no room for anyone to talk about rollerblades or whatever. As the subject matter might imply, it is full of limp-dicked little faggots who enjoy discussing their favorite TV soap opera played by [[Gay|sweaty men]] and [[MILF|skimpily-clad aging women]].

*'''[[Role-playing|/qst/]]''' - Quests. A place for [[Basement dwellers|boring fatsos]] to engage in [[LARP|make-belief fantasy adventures]] with other [[neckbeards]]. Some actually decent stuff can be found here (as long as you've resigned yourself to [[dying alone]] and enjoy this sort of collaborative [[Dungeons & Dragons]] [[shit|storytelling]]), but it is usually hidden beneath piles of uninspired trash written by illiterate monkeys.

*'''[[r|/r/]]''' - A mythical board where only few traverse. If, by some luck, you manage to find it, usually after you post a picture, in any thread (Posting pictures = Requests), you'll be no closer to finding the [[sauce|source]] of the picture, because /r/ is shit and never ever fucking works. Despite this, half of the fuckholes on 4chan will still sage [[you|your]] thread because [[butthurt|YOU NEED TO POST 10 IMAGES OR ELSE ITS A REQUEST HURRRRR]].

*'''[[r9k|/r9k/]]''' - <s>ROBOT9000</s> ROBOT9001. The main hangout of whiny [[faggots]] and [[incels]] on 4chan. Has a bot that tries (often unsuccessfully) to prevent reposts in hopes of promoting [[original content|OC]]. In practice it only encourages a [[TL;DR]] fest of whiny [[virgin|relationship]] threads and pseudo-intellectualism. When /adv/ was split from it, the original proceeded to get even worse, and it was finally removed in early 2011 (followed by weeks of random idiots swarming /b/ with [[BAWWW|"BRING BACK MY /R9K/"]] posts). It has since been revived by [[moot|mootikins]], to the dismay of the world at large. The board in its current state serves no apparent purpose other than to house boring [[Virgin with rage|virgins with rage]].

*'''[[s/|/s/]]''' - A place for preteen fanboys to yell NAME! SAUCE! MOAR! and fap to [[Porn|pr0n]]. The entire board consists of reposts of the same 500 images from the last two years. <s>Not /r/.</s>

*'''[[s4s|[s4s]]]'''- 4chan's ''dedicated'' shitposting board. In practice it's a place where moronic inbreds congregate to share anime pictures and talk like 5 year old children. The board is most notable for being one of the few places on the site where moderators still make their presence known; threads regularly get stickied and random HTML fuckery is not uncommon. The board is also a massive [[circlejerk]], spawning its own crop of mindbogglingly retarded memes and harboring a large amount of [[Namefag|namefags]].

*'''[[sci|/sci/]]''' - Science & Math. Most serious posters are [[Basement dweller|basement-dwelling]] [[Agnostic]] [[Atheist|Atheists]] with [[Aspergers]] and an [[IQ]] in the low 180s. Regularly flooded with religion and pseudo-science threads from /b/tards, along with requests for help with algebra homework from [[13 year old boys]]. Mods do not give two halves of a flying fuck about /sci/, and so it is heaven on Earth for people whose favorite trolling topic are [[calculus]] and [[Niggers|race science]].

[[Image:Naruto Fangirl.jpg|thumb|This is where [[camwhores]] pimp for fanboys to get their ''[[Naruto]]'' [[porn]] filled on their [[wishlist]]s. The name of this particular camwhore is [[Togi-Chan|Togi-chan]].]]

*'''[[soc/|/soc/]]''' - Social (aka Fat Camwhores and Faggots); or, part of the [[chemo|chemo that is curing /b/]]. Created very early in 2011, the board's contents are 95% cancerous bullshit transferred from [[B|/b/]] to attempt to cut down in 'Rate X', 'Post your area code' matchmaking threads, amongst other things. In other words, /soc/ is primarily the offspring of a half-dead /b/, in a shameless attempt to revive 4chan's flagship forum. Populated mostly by camwhores, (insert US province)fags, and anon. At one time, /soc/ was also a tripfag wonderland where a tripfag could become more popular than all others by continually whoring themselves however moot feared that someone might become more popular than him so he disabled trip ability. Now you may only namefag. WARNING: Nigger and Jew are now auto-ban words.

*'''[[sp|/sp/]]''' - Sports board. Good luck finding a thread that isn't USA vs. Europe, or about how BAWWston sucks cocks. 18-1.

*'''[[torrent|/t/]]''' - [[No|ZOMG TORRENT PL0X!!1!11!!1]]

*'''[[Dungeons & Dragons|/tg/]]''' - For the [[hipster|obscure]] [[nerd|4channer]] demographic that so desperately needs to evade reality, they play tabletop RPGs (Which everybody knows are against the will of our Lord, Mudkipz, and well, just plain wrong). Posting anything other than ''[[warhammer|Warhammer: 40,000]]'' and ''[[Emo|Magic: The Gathering]]'' or similar, or elf porn, will get you banned. Srsly.

*'''[[lego|/toy/]]''' - A nice playpen for the [[Retards|young at heart]]. Talk about [[Plastic crap|toys and figurines]] with other [[basement dweller|basement dwelling]] dumb fucks like [[Jin Saotome]].

*'''[[Into the trash it goes|/trash/]]''' - A secret hidden board where threads /co/ or /v/ doesn't want to deal with are dumped, as well as a place to discuss anything that isn't allowed on the other boards. Miraculously, despite housing nothing but [[yiff|furry porn]], it is the only board with actual manners and decent people, though again, [[furfag|that's not saying much]].

*'''[[real world|/trv/]]''' - Travel. As in [[LOL WUT|outside of mom's basement]]. One of the quieter boards on 4chan, obviously. People who do travel most likely wouldn't even go on 4chan in the first place, but sometimes, tourist post vacation pics in which, unsurprisingly, nobody gives a shit about.

*'''[[tv|/tv/]]''' - Obligatory television/movie board. Once was populated by [[Hipster|pretentious hipsters]] who went out of their way to find (and never watch) the most obscure arthouse films from Taiwan or whatever. Is now full of hordes of unwashed [[Memefag|memefags]] who pretend to talk about the latest [[Disney|Marvel]] dumpster fire whenever they're not obsessing over [[Big Black Cock|black cocks]] or [[Foot fetish|celebrity feet]].

*'''[[yuri|/u/]]''' - Board for fat men pretending to be women and 13 year old girls looking to discuss the latest chapter of their favorite worksafe [[lesbian|cutesy romance]] manga. Home of stolen pixiv artwork that these faggots are too lazy to credit (which simply requires using their fat fingers to press ctrl and v to actually credit the original faggot who made artwork for other faggots to choke the one-eyed snake to).

*'''[[v/|/v/]]''' - /b/ with [[video games|vidya gaems]]. Populated by [[trolls]], former [[GameFAQs]] users, former /b/tards, console [[fanboys]], and people who masturbate to depictions of [[Pedophile|underage video game characters]]. It's a common misconception that /v/ has no mods. This is false; /v/ has mods, they're just a bunch of [[Too lazy|lazy]] niggers. In a rare display of self-awareness, they refer to themselves as /v/irgins.

*'''[[faggot|/vg/]]''' - [[gay|GENERAL TOPICZ ON VIDEO GAESM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111]]

*'''[[retro|/vr/]]''' - [[lie|Because the /v/ and /vg/ boards weren't enough]], moot had the [[retarded|brilliant]] idea to add a [[Stale|Retro]] Gaming board. They haven't decided on a name for themselves yet, but no doubt they'll come up with something [[awesome]] like /vr/etards. Actually they're known as VR Troopers, and this board was needed to stem the tide of massive butthurt (that usually stems from someone having a sense of humor) and dramafagging. So far it's been more mellow than other boards, although faggotry still leaks in, such as furious debates over the shadow of the Black Omen from Chrono Trigger. Easiest way to piss them off is to mention [[Mario|Kaizo]] or [[Doom#Terry_and_Company|Terry]].

*'''[[Vp|/vp/]]''' - LOLPOKEMANZ!!1!1 [[moot]] created this board on July 14, 2010 due to the large amount of "Pokemon General" threads on /v/. <s>Frequent users of this board like to refer to themselves as /tr/ainers in attempts to further distance themselves from /v/.</s> Nowadays, these [[Faggot|fine folks]] prefer to call themselves [[Retards|"/vp/oreons"]], omitting the "a" of the name of a Pokémon they are [[Fap|all too familiar with]]. People who regularly visit /vp/ include underage b&, [[aspie]] adults, butthurt [[Digimon]] fans, and [[Gardevoir|closeted]] [[Lopunny|furries]]. JUST MAKE SURE NOT TO POST HENTAI WITHOUT A SPOILER TAG; THIS IS A [[faggot|WORKSAFE BOARD]] GUISE!

*'''[[Call of Duty|/vm/]]''' - No amount of boards seem to be enough to contain the sheer amount of [[vidya]] faggotry, and so /vm/, /vmg/, /vrpg/ and /vst/ were bolted onto the website sometime [[last Thursday]]. /vm/ is the dedicated [[Orgy|multiplayer]] games board. It's basically /v/ but you're only allowed to talk about [[Team Fortress 2]], [[World of Warcraft|MMORPGs]] and [[Street Fighter 2|shitty fighting games nobody cares about]].

*'''[[Genshin Impact|/vmg/]]''' - [[Geometry Dash|Mobile games]]. A mostly dead board occasionally visited only by [[poor]] [[Brazil|third worlders]] whenever they manage to obtain a stable internet connection.

*'''[[Final Fantasy|/vrpg/]]''' - RPG games. A place for sexless neckbeards to talk about boring decades-old [[RPG Maker]] games and have their daily [[Fallout|Fallout 3 vs. Fallout: New Vegas]] slapfight. Also ZOMG [[Skyrim|SKYRIM]]!!!1

*'''[[Zerg Rush|/vst/]]''' - Strategy games. Yet another /v/ reskin with not much going for it. Only notable for containing substantially more [[butthurt]] than the others, with users constantly complaining about the latest installments to their favorite franchises. The possibility of simply ''not buying'' the shovelware [[Dumbass|continues to elude them]].

*'''[[Unwarranted Self-Importance|/vip/]]''' - Hiro's latest attempt at boosting 4chan Pass sales. Only Pass users may post on this board. Completely pointless as there is nothing to talk about (other than their "oldfag" [[e-peen]] with the ''since4pass'' flair) and nobody even attempts to troll, lest they lose their [[Something Awful|10bux]]. As a result it's absolutely dead.

*'''[[Permavirgin|/vt/]]''' - [[Virtual Youtubers]]. A place for romantically-challenged losers to [[Masturbate|discuss]] the latest antics of their favorite Japanese woman with an animu avatar. Surprisingly lulzy, as the userbase is incredibly pathetic and all imagine themselves to be in one-sided relationships with their idols. As a result they are both easy to troll and have a tendency to post [[Sick fuck|extremely depraved]] sexually-charged ramblings about the objects of their desires. Thankfully, none of them are poised to leave their mom's basement anytime soon, so society at large is safe from these would-be rapists.

*'''[[Wapanese|/w/]]''' - For all your [[Engrish|wallpapers anime]]. As can be noted by merely observing that "w" comes before "wg", the anime board must have appeared such, only strengthening the entire "Japanese are 1,000x cooler than us" mentality. The only board that lacks (well, not as much "lack" as has a decline in) this philosophy is /b/.

*'''[[wallpaper|/wg/]]''' - Wallpapers/General. A board devoted to posting desktop wallpapers with pictures of anything ranging from cars to girls to [[drugs|random geometric designs and colorful scenery]], anything else a spoiled teenage boy or other typical basement dweller desires yet is unable to afford; likely due to his tendency to waste money on things like the latest several hundred dollars each series of displays for a multiple monitor setup. Also includes people too stupid to check [[4scrape]].

*'''[[gif|/wsg/]]''' - "Work-safe" version of /gif/. Added after various requests by people tired of all the porn on /gif/. Functions as 4chan's dedicated video-sharing board.

*'''[[SAUCE|/wsr/]]''' - Worksafe Requests. About as useless as plain ol' /r/.

*'''[[x/|/x/]]''' - Paranormal. Another oldfag filled /b/ outlet, except with ghosts. Here, late night insomniacs gather in attempts to scare each other shitless with posts like [[creepypasta]], images including [[Photoshopped]] "paranormal activity" and schizophrenic doodles, and anecdotes by [[insane|people]] who believe they have a sixth sense or are being haunted. [[Fact]]: every other post on this board ends with [[who was phone|"THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!"]] or [[Then A Skeleton Popped Out|"THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!!1"]]; [[shit nobody cares about|memes]] exclusive to /x/.

*'''[[EXTREME|/xs/]]''' - Extreme Sports. A place to discuss shit like [[Skateboard|skateboarding]], [[9/11|skydiving]], [[Kung Fu|martial arts]] and other stuff people cooler than [[you]] enjoy. Pretty much dead because the typical 4chan user is an overweight, short-sighted, wheezing little virgin who gets winded from just climbing up the stairs from his basement.

*'''[[yaoi|/y/]]''' - This is where girls and [[queer|guys]] masturbate to sodomy. When not doing so, they battle over which is hotter: guys that look like girls fucking each other or guys that would give Rambo an inferiority complex fucking each other. One of the four realms where women exist on the internet.

===Former/Retired Boards===

*'''[[wat|/5/]]''' - A "secret" board that existed for a brief while [[last Thursday|a long time ago]] and probably involved mods posting pictures of the number 5 or something.

*'''[[Hipsters|/asp/]]''' - A boards that consists of [[fags|hipsters]] discussing [[fucking stupid|way cool]] [[boring|alternative]] sports such as skateboarding. When they're not busy blogging about their latest rock climbing trip, they're brainstorming about inventing their own [[kewlies]] sport. Despite being a board for alternative sports, the board itself is full of wrestling thread and gay fanfiction of a wrestler who got [[Buck Breaking|anally raped by a pack of Bulbasaurs in the hot sweltering summer of 92]]. They call themselves /asp/ies. The board was eventually split into /pw/ and /xs/

*'''/fk/''' - For Kidz. Was opened as a joke board, but unlike [[s4s|/s4s/]] didn't get to stay. Became password protected for a long time before being quietly snuffed sometime around 2012.

*'''/g/''' - Before there was the /g/ we all know and hate, the /g/ board of 4chan stood for Guro, i.e. [[gore]] porn. Was shut down in late 2004.

*'''/ib/ & /ip/''' - Two absolutely dead boards that were eventually combined into the ever-so-slightly less dead /i/.

*'''/l/''' - [[Lolicon]]. Despite [[newfag|newfags]] denying its existence, and [[moot]] himself trying to make everyone forget about it, for a while 4chan had a dedicated loli board. The board went through expected turbulence, up to and including being deleted for a while, before being finally shut down completely in late 2004. Moved to not4chan.org by moot afterwards (don't bother clicking that, you sick fuck. not4chan itself has been dead for years).

*'''[[n|/new/]]''' - <s>'''N'''iggers & J'''ew'''s.</s> [[killdozer|Bulldozed]] along with /r9k/. Resurrected as [[pol/|/pol/]]

*'''[[q/|/q/]]''' - 4chan Discussion, added by moot as a place for butthurt faggots to cry about how shit and cancer filled the internet anus has become. Was unceremoniously closed when the whining reached uncontrollable levels.

*'''[[qa/|/qa/]]''' - A temporary board created for moot's final Q&A. Inexplicably stuck around with no discernible purpose until [[Hiroyuki Nishimura|Hiro]] officially made it into /q/ 2.0, only now with no obligation for mods to actually respond to complaints. Over time the lack of moderation allowed several consecutive groups of trolls make it their home. Was eventually locked and purged after an /lgbt/ raid. This event is commonly known by the /qa/ immigrants as The Great Soyset.

*'''[[rapidshit|/rs/]]''' - Rapidshares. Aggregated all filesharing links posted anywhere on 4chan, providing easy access for those who are hellbent on infecting their PC with malware. Effectively replaced the [[dead|now-defunct]] rapidsearch.yi.org, which was run by [[Food|Popcorn]] [[Mexico|Mariachi]].

*'''[[Random_Page|/yg/]]''' - <s>[http://zip.4chan.org/yg/imgboard.html Yogurt?]</s> What the shit? Gone, apparently.

*'''[[z/|/z/]]''' - An oldfag board far more cancerous than even present-day /b/, if you can even fathom such a concept. The board was constantly trolled by randomly chosen mods who liked to [[rape|decorate]] it with [[YTMND|animated GIF backgrounds and looped music]]. Users given a "/z/ ban" would not be able to access any other board but this one. After its removal, attempting to view it will only allow you to see the [[penis|lovely]] placeholder page that <s>has since taken its place</s> was also removed during a general site cleanup after moot left (for those curious, it was [[beecock]]).

*'''World4ch''' - For the longest time 4chan had integrated Japanese-style textboards tucked away in a shitty subbasement. They were absolutely dead and had a propensity to crap out and crash every other Tuesday. Most users were only made aware of them through links beneath the titles of several regular imageboards. The only one of note was /vip/ (no relation), which housed half a dozen mouthbreathers who insisted on constantly reposting the same ancient [[2ch]] memes from 2005.

==A Typical 4chan user==

<center>[[File:Ultimate Banhammer.jpg]]</center>

==4chan Moderators==
[[Image:Mod furries.png|thumb|Evidence that 4chan mods are furries. (note: bottom)]]

[[Image:team4chanotakon2005.jpg|200px|thumb|center|Team 4chan at Otakon 2005]]

All of 4chan's moderators were moot's friends from Something Awful or people who have lurked in #janiteam and #team4chan on Rizon until they turned into snail-people. You really do not want to be one.

===Former Mods===
[[Image:Moot.jpg|thumb|4chan's moot shortly after gaining his diploma in Mexican Vice Studies.]]

*[[W. T. Snacks]] was famous for banning many newfags on /b/ in an effort to make /b/ good. That made him [[cool]]. Moot got jealous of his e-fame and stripped him of his rank. He's less involved in the chan scene now, although he occasionally posts on /mu/ and /r9k/ with a tripcode. He also runs a radio show, "Midnight Snacks." His tripcode is TcT.PTG1.2 and he can be found in #4chan.
*MrSpooky is an ex-mod who spawned the catchphrases "I've never seen so many ingrates" and "You'll receive nothing from me." He frequently made stickies on /b/ begging for money because he got thrown in jail and now he needs donations to pay off his court fees. Smells real great. Now located here at ED with all you other fuckers as Mrs.Pooky!
*Anonymous-San - Quit due to stress, also due to him attempting to get it on with some 4chan girl (more info welcome).
*Shut
*Censored Vagina - Permabanned Something Awful pedophile. Talks about child genitals a lot.
*hova
*JDigital
*FrankStallone - Also known as dr.wiii. A huge Macfag and Nintendo DS gamer. Has a hard on for Churuya-san. He quit the internet (retired from modship) as of 12/1/2010.
*Shii - Wrote an earlier version of the textboards and ran them until he caused drama with moot.
*Allyson - A fat, underage whore that looks like the ugly tree that raped her through childhood, managed to go down on [[Moot]] long enough for him to give her Mod status. During all of this she apparently stalked a 4channer from her hometown, making her a [[slut]]. She's a filthy camwhore that has dozens of STDs and suffers from being a [[wapanese]] [[faggot]].
*[[DocEvil]] - Started out a Janitor on /tv/ eventaully became a mod and over the summer became a /b/ mod. <s>Mod removed after his friend got on his account and started baleeting shit.</s> He is back
*InspRedwood- A notorious mod best known for shitting up /a/, started out as a janitor on /co/ back in 2013 and became reviled for his/her constant heavy policing of threads, after the GamerGate incident was promoted to a mod and has since crusaded across 4chan as a ban happy SJW lunatic. Commonly seen circlejerking and stirring up drama on the IRC.

===Current Mods/Mod Sympathizers===

[[Image:Janiteam.gif|thumb|alt=4chan's "#janiteam" channel on Rizon|Janitor channel. Some of these motherfuckers are literally mods now]]

*ALTERNATIVE - Joining as 4chan's lead coder/scripter back in 2004, notable for asking moot to create /tg/, therefore a [[Fat|hugely]] socially inept beardo. Also goes by the [[IRC]] nicks "Dave" and "buttly". Has a yellow wife (a la [[Something Awful|Kyanka]]) who is shamefully ugly, as evinced by the fact that she had to settle for a 4chan dork instead of a more sukksessufuru Amelican. His likes include [[Shit_no_one_cares_about|outdated computer equipment, having theory-of-mind problems, and ancient shitty games.]] Has since become one of the sites three Admins with moots departure

[[File:Troid.png|200px|thumb|Troid in all his beta glory.]]

*Dongfix, aka Enumeric. Another shitty gamer. Owns Imgbear.com and writes scripts for janitors and mods to be hosted there. Information showing proving as such was first possibly leaked '''{{archive|rlFJZ|here}}'''. Feel free to read that thread and take a look at the [[4chan#External_links|external links.]]
*Sporks - Real name: Dan Levin is best known for wearing the yotsuba TF2 mask at Otakon.
*Zanok
[[Image:Invisibro_is_embarassing.jpg|122px|thumb|left|At left, Invisibro works on making whiteness even more humiliating.]]
*Zephro
*pixel - Startlingly dumb /b/ tripfag whose only claim to fame is the GET they mention in their vhost. May have been known as "maggot"/"kyat" at one point and is an actual "woman" insofar as it possesses a vagina-like aperture.
*MrVacBob - Succeeded Shii in writing and administrating the textboards. Enjoys programming and anime. AKA "Alexander Strange".
*I_AM_ABIB - Retro [[gamer|gaymer]] dork and anime pedo. Formerly a mere janitor, ABIB and a number of other second bananas were promoted to moderator in late '09 and began taking out their long-stifled aggressions on the boards. Rivals ALTERNATIVE in terms of burbling autistic hostility.
*Jay Irwin / Invisibro / gingermod / swaglord - Balding, [[Chris_Benoit|roid-raging]] ginger, also an [s4s] mod that sometimes posts in papyruse and comic sans.
*Concord- Retarded /b/ Mod who on accident posted with his name in his capcode instead of Anonymous ## MOD
*Troid- Real name Zack, resident tumblrina, redditor and mangina, usually found shitting up /a/ and cache banning any images from the site that end up exposing him. Was originally assigned in maintaining the 4chan archives but later had his archive privileges removed after going on a mass deletion spree whilst trying to cover up information about himself that was stored within the archives, despite such he retained his mod rights.
[[File:Gurupartap_S._Davis.jpg|thumb|left|122px|RapeApe is a left-over stock character from the Great [[Habbo Hotel]] Raids.]]
*RapeApe - A patron saint of [[pol|/pol/]], presumably the guy who sticked a video celebrating trumps victory on there. Known to be a [[QAnon|Qboomer]]/fan of [[Tucker Carlson]] or some shit, his endorsement of /pol/ shenanigans has caused '''{{archive|vRaze|extreme butthurt from the mainstream media}}''', claiming that 4chan is now a NATZEEE SITE!!!!!!!!1111ONE Cannot be entirely trusted, as he was one of the faggots known to delete [[GamerGate]] threads on /v/ back in 2014.
The login page for admin is [server name].4chan.org/[board name]/admin.php. The page for /b/ can be found '''{{archive|283lp|here}}'''

==UnderageB&==
[[Image:Cancerkids.jpg|thumb|Underage B&s are the cancer that is killing [[b|/b/]].]]
[[In before|Before]] [[the cancer that is killing /b/|cancer]] took over 4chan, most users were above the age of eighteen. Thanks mainly due to [[gore]]. [[b|/b/]] used to be a horrifying place and only those with the mental stability to handle the kind of shit posted had the balls to even [[lurk]]. Even when [[Shitting Dick Nipples|less horrifying memes]] became popular, the overall sense was terrifying. It was a [[Divide by zero|bad idea]] to leave /b/ on your computer when you went to go take a [[shit]].

Now, however, every post is written by someone around age twelve. These [[fag|faggots]] found out about 4chan through researching the black person on [[Habbo Hotel]]. Most hang around because /b/ is turning into the new [[eBaum's World]], with [[fail|funny]] parodies/2edgy4me jokes on [[IRL|real world]] events, pics of people SHOOPIN DER WHOOPS, and a place to get free [[pr0n]] without getting a virus as well.

This problem could be easily fixed if 4chan's mods [[BRING BACK SNACKS|grew some balls]] and started overly enforcing the [[ban hammer]], but we all know [[coward|that will never happen]] since if it did, there would be no /b/ left.

== Sticky, the 4chan Posting Guide ==

[[Image:Sticky.jpg|thumb|Meet Sticky! He's your guide to shitposting on /b/.]]

Sticky is 4chan's latest technology, a mutant inbred offspring of [[Jews]] and [[Clippit]] that [[moot]] [[Bullshit|worked really, really hard on]] for [[at least 100]] sleepless days in order to help newfags spout memes more and actually sound like they know what they're talking about to other newfags. While Sticky says he would like to help you with [[trolling]], he probably just wants to help you write a suicide note or [[rape]] you. He also doesn't seem to understand that copypasta and trolling is usually intricate work, and trying to do so without any experience will result in cancer like [[THE BEST]] and [[So Cash]]. Especially when he's flamboyant about his sexuality and weeaboo status. The best thing you can do is disable JavaScript or click "Don't show this tip again," although it likely won't do anything, because it didn't work any better trying to hide Clippit.

==4chan goes 2.0==

{|
| Before redesign: [[File:4chan_2005_Screenshot.jpg|center|300px]]
| After redesign: [[Image:4chan_2.0.gif|center|300px]]
|}

===The Day 4chan Died===
<pre>
A long, long, time ago,
I can still remember how that website used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my cat
That I could make those people laugh
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But December made me shiver
With every pic I’d deliver.
Bad news on the front page;
I couldn’t do anything but rage.

I can’t remember if I fainted out
When I read about this sellout,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the 4chan died.

So bye-bye, Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my browser at the homepage,
But the homepage made me cry.
And them Robert Hawkins was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Did mootle write the book of love,
And have you lost all faith in God above,
If the /b/ board tells you so?
Do you believe in An Hero,
Can 4chan save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to die real slow?

So bye-bye, Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my browser at the homepage,
But the homepage made me cry.
And them Robert Hawkins was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Now for four years we’ve been on our own
And mootle grows fat on his new page of home,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When Pedobear sang for the Partyvan,
Using CP he borrowed from 4chan
And a voice that came from anon alone,

Oh, and while the FBI were looking down,
Pedobear stole his horny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
The CP was returned.
And while pedobear read a book of loli,
The anon waited in the park,
And we sang the Bel Air theme in the dark
The day 4chan died.

No-one knew what the new hompepage meant,
The anons lurked in their mothers basement,
Eight hours old and failing fast.
It landed with web 2.0 on it's ass.
The /b/tards tried for a bangbros pass,
With slowpoke on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the Bel Air was sweet perfume
While the /b/tards played a marching tune.
We all got up to the pool,
Oh, and we made habbo look like fools!
`cause the afros tried to block the way;
The pool was closed, due to aids.
Do you recall who was r34'd
The day the 4chan died?

We started singing,
bye-bye, Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my browser at the homepage,
But the homepage made me cry.
And them Robert Hawkins was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."
</pre>

===The Future (old copypasta)===
<pre>
The change to the front page of 4chan may not appear
to have any significant effects as far as practicality goes.
But, I believe that it foreshadows much darker times to come.
For those who have their eyes open, you realize that almost
the whole world has been taken control of by a very corrupt and ruthless group of people.

This occurred through incremental methods, making small,
seemingly meaningless changes until so many changes had been made to society,
everything was different without anyone noticing. I believe that is what is
happening with 4chan. Mootle is making seemingly trivial changes to 4chan at
a slow pace, which will ultimately lead to our deepest fears: 4chan as an account-based
paysite with official merchandise, big corporate sponsorship, fake, contrived aesthetics,14
and perhaps even an official account of the history of 4chan which differs from reality.
Age verification will take place to visit any 18+ boards. All posts will be recorded.
GETS will be staged for real.

I've been here for over two years. I still feel like a "newfag"
(which is a word mostly used by newfags, ironically) but lately I realize
I've been here longer than 90% of 4chan users. Anyone who has been around
as long as I have can see that the real issue isn't the quality of posted
content, it's the changes that have been made to 4chan itself, the same way
things happen with any big corporation.

tl;dr, kill yourselves now
</pre>

== 4chan - hurt ==
<pre>
I checked on /b/ today
To see if I still feel
I see its filled with gay
What the fuck is their deal

The gays have but one hole
The traps are now a thing
Try to close the gay away
But I remember everything

What has /b/ become?
My sweetest friend
The oldfags that I knew
Went away in the end

And you can check what you want
My 4chan of shit
It will let you down
It will make you cringe

I close my browser now
Upon my dirty screen
Full of jizz and cum
I cannot make clean

I remember a great time
When WT snacks was there
Now he's somewhere else
He is still not here

And you can check what you want
My 4chan of shit
It will let you down
It will make you cringe

If I were but a mod
On my favorite chan
I would ban all the gay
I would find a way
</pre>

==2008==
===Gaiachan===
On February 12, 2008 [[Fag|Moot]] posted his [https://4chan.org/4channews.php?all#95 fucking will] (tl;dr) on the news page basically talking about imminent changes on 4chan (new trial boards, more janitors, how much he loves the site and [[TLDR|much more]]).

===02/19/2008 - The Trial boards and the death of Old /n/ - News===

[[Image:Thethreadthatkilledn.jpg|thumb|The thread that killed /n/.]]

On February 19, 2008, Moot added 9 new "trial" boards:
'''/fa/''' ([[Pro-Ana|Fashion]]), '''/fit/''' ([[Ghey|Health & Fitness]]), '''/hc/''' ([[Ripper|Hardcore]]), '''/jp/''' ([[Lolicon|Japan/]][[Touhou|General]]), '''/n/''' ([[Mantrain|Transportation]], replacing News), '''/r9k/''' ([[R9k|ROBOT9000]]), '''/sp/''' ([[Sport|Sports]]), '''/toy/''' ([[Dildo|Toys]]) and '''/trv/''' (Travel), while at the same time killing the commie-phobic '''[[pol/|/n/]]'''.

[[Image:Wikipedia loves 4chan.jpg|thumb|Wiki <3's 4chan!]]

===The Occupation of /n/===
During a battle with the site's upstream provider, the "/n/-transportation" board (which m♡♡t moderates) was forced off topic. The declarative post (to begin the occupation) was made on Monday, the 11th of April, 2008 at 7:13 pm with the text "Hello, I'm David Bowie." This was a blatant reference to the Adult Swim show the "Venture Brothers", and within the hour there were multiple threads about [[Barack Obama]], the [[Beijing Olympics]], [[abortion]] and the [[Texas Polygamist Raid]]. It was more than obvious that the anoraks had been invaded and their board occupied in order to be converted back to "/n/-news", yet, in the early hours of the morning, the "admins" reset the posts to remove anything not related to transport.

==2010==
===4chan on Jeopardy===
On February 23rd 2010, '''{{ytlink|fNaUiAVT0Ls|a clue was featured on Jeopardy in a category entitled 'Internet' containing a reference to 4chan.org}}''':
[[Image:4chanJeopardy_.png|frame|center|What is [[CP]]?]]

===4chan and the End of Days===
On the 1st of April 2010, a date which will always be remembered for [[trolls|April fools]], took a dark turn for the humble Anonymous posters of 4chan. Moot being the Jew he is, intergrated a 4chan facebook feature, meaning camwhores and faggots can now post directly between the two websights. This will lead to a influx of newfags like [[Anontalk|Anontalk]] to CP. Thx [[faggot|Moot]], good to see you always stuck out for the team. This was also marked with the second rising of [[Boxxy|Boxxy]] in the form of Deafsy. All contact has been lost with /v/, with only images of babby and a J-POP song being seen and heard, its the end, rape your children for you soon won't be able too.

On the 4th of April the facechan functionality was revealed to be a lame April Fool's joke, with the title of /b/ changing to [[loli|lol i]] [[troll|trol]] [[you|u]], resulting in much
bawwing and [[rage]]. Joke's on [[moot]], though, as any [[faggot]] knows that [[fail| you have to admit to your joke by midday on April 1st]]. Although the faggots that fell for it fail just as hard.

===Birthday===
Due to the fact that the typical 4chan lurker [[lie| is not a wanna be moderator]], on the seventh birthday ( [[9/11| 10/1/03]] ) Moot opened up a [[aim|meebo]] account only to have it overflowed within minutes. Moot redeemed his butt hurt fans by opening up an irc.

===Operation Overlord===
{{main|Operation Overlord}}

On the 14th of November 2010, 4chan was invaded by [[tumblr]]. Reactions such as "NOW WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO." erupted from now bonerless /b/tards everywhere.

Oh, lol, actually, tumblr failed and only DDoS'd the front page.

===PUDDI PUDDI===
{{main|Giga Pudding}}
On the 1st of December 2010 [[moot|some fucking hoebag]] embedded '''{{ytlink|B10BxYZqa1Q|this video}}''' at the top of every board on 4chan, although cute and pretty lulzy at first, <s>prolonged exposure to this video will ultimately drive you to finding the nearest pregnant woman and giving her a forced abortion with a rusty ladel while screaming uncontrollably and [[Pain series|crushing your testicles]] with your bare hands.</s> How hard is it to use AdBlock?

==2011==
===4/22/11 = THE END IS NEAR===

[[Image:4chan_without_adult_ads.png|200px|thumb|[[Shit no one cares about|OMG THE END IS NEAR]]]]

<s>On all NSFW pages of 4chan, the ads have gone. Possibly, due to the content of nature of the NSFW boards, essentially [[B|/b/]], the Advertising company ditched [[moot]] and left him for dead ad-less and thus loosing money. Hopefully, 4chan won't end up like the old [[ED]]...</s>

All NSFW pages now have ads again.

===5/1/11 [[America|AMERICA FUCK YEAH!]]===
As news came out regarding the death of [[Bin Laden]], moot decided to embed '''{{ytlink|IhnUgAaea4M|AMERICA FUCK YEAH}}''' into the /b/ board. this of course became old within minutes and /b/tards started banging their heads into their keyboards in an attempt to break their ears so they didn't have to hear it anymore.

===10/23/11 [[moot]] resurrects boards===
[[moot]] resurrects /r9k/, /new/ (now /pol/), and /hc/, and creates /diy/.

===The Siege===
4chan was DDoS'd on and off between 11/14/11 and 11/17/11. No word yet on the culprit, everything from [[tumblr]] (highly likely) to lulzsec (unlikely) has been put forward.

==2012==
===New Old /b/===
It was Valentine's Day 2012. Considering moot likes penis, he had nobody to stick it into. Bored out of his mind, he had the bright idea to perhaps start managing 4chan again. For once, he listened to Anon, because he actually allowed the pathetic virgins that inhabit to talk to their god and give Him suggestions. For a brief moment, OC flowed like fresh blood through a rotting corpse. Post ending in XXX <s>has been restored</s> is still gone :(, ponies and Chloe threads paused, and Moot said he would be adding up to 15 new boards, including a [[mlp/|a brony board]]. Could this be the Second Re/b/oot? For a while, it seemed like it wouldn't, but then moot did the unthinkable: He restored forced Anon but proceeded to give every poster 24-hour ID's, so [[Wat|posters are anonymous while not actually anonymous]]. /b/ finally returned to form: Cancer, shitposts and reposts have all but died. OC flowed through the land once again. But moot will find a way to fuck it up somehow.

Update: It went to hell quickly, cancer became terminal on /b/ once more, and moot ended up removing IDs in September [[2013|the next year]].

==2013==
2013 was the 10th year of 4chan, and as such, many [[boring|exciting]], new changes took place.
===New Boards===
In 2013 moot added several new boards: /gd/ for the hipsters, /asp/ for the [[wrestling|alternative]] [[skateboard|sports]] fans, /vr/ for the nostalgiafigs, /lgbt/ for the LGBT users (read: all of them,) and the infamous [[s4s|<nowiki>[s4s]</nowiki>]] for the funposters.

===AWA Con Panel===
After a dinner with old 4chan mods, moot had the absolutely ''great'' idea of holding another 4chan panel, despite the disastrous results of the Otakon panels years before. Since he and 4chan were '''{{archive|D0Puy|banned}}''' from having another panel at Otakon, Atlanta's AWA con was the nexyt best place to ruin. And so it was. Several days before the actual tenth anniversary, the panel was [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0QRnufms-0&t=3m25s streamed live on YT]. Users from boards such as /b/, /s4s/ and others crowded into [[synchtube]]-clone site rooms to watch the panel, resulting in shitposting across all boards as well as in the chats of said stream sites. The panel itself was incredibly boring and the only highlight was W.T. Snacks shouting an old classic, "why does your website suck," at moot after snatching the microphone from someone else who was probably just going to shout a catchphrase himself anyway.

For half an hour before the panel, all text on 4chan '''was turned bold.'''

===Deletion of /q/===
[[q/|/q/]] was deleted, and replaced with a hardly-used suggestion box.

==2014==
2014 was a year with much lulz for 4chan but it will go into history as it's fatal year. It was the year in which the 3 main happenings (Independance Day Tumblr Raid, The Fappening and Gamergate) triggered the downfall of 4chan and m00t finally gave in to the SJWs and became a traitor to his own chan.

===April Fools' 2014===
For April 1 2014, 4chan added a new site-wide notice explaining the change in the CAPTCHA system to the Japanese spelling of [[Touhou|CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN]] for the sake of improving the education of the userbase. The notice ends with the equally [[Weeaboo|weeaboo]] ''ゆっくりしていってね！！'', which is another equally terrible jap reference.

===Aussie Events===
Sometime in April 4chan was hacked by someone and all their faggot janitors got doxed. This resulted in mass confusion and celebratory champagne.

{{cg|auevents|Pics|center|<gallery>
File:Fwgisawhore.png
File:4chan AU Events (22).png
File:4chan AU Events (21).png
File:4chan AU Events (19).png
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:4chan AU Events (18).png
File:4chan AU Events (16).png
File:4chan AU Events (15).png
File:4chan AU Events (13).png
File:4chan AU Events (10).png
File:4chan AU Events (9).png
File:4chan AU Events (8).png
File:4chan AU Events (7).png
File:4chan AU Events (6).png
File:4chan AU Events (5).png
File:4chan AU Events (4).png
File:4chan AU Events (2).jpg
File:4chan AU Events (1).jpg
</gallery>}}

===Independence Day Tumblr Raid===
{{main|Independence Day Invasion}}

===The Fappening===
{{main|The Fappening}}

===Gamergate===
{{main|GamerGate}}

===4chan is kill===
{{Main|M00t's GamerGate Sellout}}
Rumors have it that shortly after the [[Independence Day Invasion]], Moot was contacted by a mysterious individual whom claimed a girl had committed [[suicide]] over said raid, Moot, being the dickless faggot he is, complied with this individual's every demand in fear of getting v& IRL, most notably, it included giving all oldfag mods the finger and replacing them with new mods straight from [[tumblr]] who happily throw out permabans to users who post threads about [[Zoe Quinn]], [[gamergate]], and those who dare criticize [[feminism]].

[[some argue|Many believe]] 4chan has turned into an SJW infested shithole with no freedom of speech and therefore starting with the great 4chan exodus many anons started to migrate to their new home 8chan, where freedom of speech and privacy is taken seriously. It is assumed that m00t started to behave like a cuck because he did not want negative media attention for his new project canvas but he failed to reaize that his canvas project never had any chance. It is also believed that m00t gave in to the SJW becase he wanted to sell 4chan and therefore he had to mak the page appear as civillized as possible. Especially 2014 was a year with much drama involving the independance day raid, the fappening and the gamergate scandal which turned a lot of negative attention to 4chan.

{{cg|4chan is kill|Pics|center|<gallery>
File:4chan_is_die.jpg
</gallery>}}

== 2015 ==
=== January 2015 - Final sellout and le cuck est mort ===

[[Image:17th century 4chan.jpg|thumb|right|An 18th century representation of 4chan.]]

On 2015-01-17 a new requirement paper for 4chan janitors was leaked to 8chan's Hotwheels by an enraged 4chan Janitor and confirmed what many anons already assumed after the exodus. 4chan now officialy wanted his janitors to provide identification documents, a photograph that would be uploaded on a server so everybody can steal it and sign a legally binding contract in order to be fucking unpaid and voluntary janitors. Yes you read it right. m00t has now confirmed a second time that he is a SJW cuck who gives a shit about freedom and his shithole of imageboard is definetely dead. After he heard about the leak he pretended he wanted to post it anyway and made a posting on the official 4chan blog about it but secretly he was mad that he got exposed once again for the faggot he is.

After the dust settled a bit over the weekend (as it was anyway clear since September that m00t is a SJW sellout bitch) m00t announced on 2015-01-22 that he will retire from his postition as 4chan admin.
It was now clear that Hotwheels was the new emperor in the land of imageboards and the indulgent emperor he was, he even participated in m00ts farewell party that was organized on 8chan under the name of #jesuismoot and on the 8chan board /jesuismoot/ (just like the je suis charlie news that were prominent at that time). Hotwheels was not mad about m00t and remembered the good old days when he was on 4chan in his childhood and thanked m00t for the good time like a true indulgent emperor to a little brat.

However 8chans userbase did not share the good sentiments of their leader and decided to ridicule m00t on various image macros and thread postings. A phrase that was often used at that time was "le cuck est mort" a deviation of the French "le cock est mort" meaning the rooster is dead from the famous french song "le cock est mort". Another phrase that was used was "le roi est mort - vive le roi" implying that Hotwheels was now the unquestionned emperor of the imageboard-o-sphere. Also a funny fact is that Hotwheels was actually sleeping when m00t announced this because he lives in the Philippines and they have a time shift compared to America and so he was very surprised and one of the later ones who learned about m00ts retirement.

However, 4chan was now officially dead after about 11 years and 8chan also felt another influx of 4chan newfags who were in denial about the happenings of the last months but apparently noticed that they are now beeing ruled by SJW mods who started flooding their chan.

=== September 2015 - The End Two - Electric Boogaloo ===
On 9-21-15 the final death knell rang for 4chan's passing when m00t announced that Hiroyuki Nishimura (former owner and admin of [[2ch]]) would be taking his place as new head moderator and owner. 
Nishimura has a reputation for being a massive faggot who was even [[loser|unable to pay his server bills]] and violated Japanese privacy laws. After Jim took over 2ch, Nishimura was allowed to keep his admin position but in the end Jim had to fire him anyway because he was caught [https://anonymous-japan.org/fake2ch/ selling user data for jew goldz and letting political parties pay him for the right to shill on the website]. Nishimura then got [[butthurt]] that he was kicked and started [[DDoS]]-ing 2ch in revenge. After this action the whole 2ch userbase hated him even more than before and he even today still has persona-non-grata status all over 2ch.

He also allegedly had ties to the japanese government and [[NSA|american 3-letter organizations]]. 
m00t has fucked off since January to become a redditcuck.

{{cg|Le cuck est mort|Pics|center|<gallery>
File:Janitorleak.jpg|when Hotwheels learned about the issue
File:Janitorreq.jpg|the official 4chan blog page about it
File:Lecuckestmort.jpg|m00t officially announcing he will step down as admin
File:Jesuismoot.jpg|the farewell party at 8chan
File:MootNishimura.png|the official "news" posting
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>}} 

==Fanfic==
<big>'''A reading from Genesis'''</big> 

[Click to Collapse Text]
[Click to Expand Text]
0
<div id="vidone">
<pre>
In the beginning, there was Moot.
On the first day, Moot created 4chan and said "Lo, this is 4chan, bringer of pain."
On the second day, Moot created Anonymous. They became lonely so Moot created [[Bridget]];
Anonymous complained of this trap, but Moot proclaimed "There are no girls on the interbutt, Bridget will suffice."
On the third day, Moot gave man tripcode. "Behold tripcode," he said. "Only ye who wish to forgive may perform."
On the fourth day, Moot created /b/, and many Anonymous rejoiced.
On the fifth day, the server crashed, Moot's creation was in disarray and MySQL errors killed off many Anonymous with no mercy.
On the sixth day, there was a sticky, and many complained of this sticky and thus proclaimed 'This sticky sux0rz.'
On the seventh day, Moot sold 4chan.
</pre>
</div>

==Trump's effect on 4chan==

[[File:Trump Election Feels.png|center|700px]]

==Mobile Browser Support==
4chan makes a big deal out of the fact it supports mobile browsers. It even goes so far as to provide neat columns of images to fap to as you plan your next epic troll.

However, don't bother trying to post if you're one of the 300 million people who use Opera Mini. Or one of the [[over 9000]] people who use Opera's Main competitor, UC Browser. In their fight against trolls, spammers, rabid bronies, and Lucifer himself, 4chan bans anything vaguely resembling a proxy. Opera Mini passes all data through Opera servers, and these are treated as satanic proxies. Some might question why 4chan doesn't simply read the real IP address from Opera Mini's header data '''like any properly designed website should.''' The answer to that question will be someday discovered on [[b/|/b/]]. Or perhaps [[v/|/v/]]. Or,even [[no|possibly]], [[q/|/q/]].

==Hacking again - 4/14/24==
On April 14th, 4chan was hacked by a soyteen who promptly leaked images of the site's admin board.

==Gallery==
{{cg||failgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Browse4chan.png|Proceed with caution.
File:The new rules of 4chan.png|Don't let the lies on the rules page fool you: these are the actual rules that 4chan enforces.
Image:4channormalpeople.png|Full of normal people.
Image:4chan-motivational.jpg|You've been warned.
File:SEMENDEMONRETURNS.png
File:Monkey Vs $chan Banana.gif|Your reaction to a banana thread
File:NSA Spying On 4chan.jpg
Image:Cornwallis lol.JPG|4chan: The place where you admit wanting to fuck General Cornwallis.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:4Chan2005vs2016.jpg|then and now
File:Kill_the_4chan.jpg|'tis simple, really
File:4chan's role on the internet.jpg|<s>Her dick was ten times bigger and more painful to contain than his</s> They're both girls, dumbass
File:Only newfags use newfag as a personal insult.jpg|No freedom of speech in the queen's domain
File:Faggots234.jpg|4Chan IRL
File:4chan house.jpg|4chan House
File:Finger4chan.jpg
File:Agent Smith.jpg|Closeup of the cancer killing /b/
File:Corpsefuck.jpg
File:Livegrenade.jpg
File:4Chan Dick Visited.png
File:Typical 4chan user face.jpg|what the typical 4chan user looks like
File:Bodybag.jpg
File:TrouserSnake.jpg
File:4chanGPS.jpg
File:Makecoolcrystals.jpg
File:Anusworms.jpg
File:4channudecat.png
File:666666666.png
File:4chanfurfags.jpg
File:4chan user typical.jpg
File:Sportboard.jpg
File:4chan tiger cringe.jpg
File:Best Stalin.png
File:Black Nazi.jpg
File:Average 4chan user.jpg
File:Refugee Conspiracy.jpg
File:Dollfucker.png
File:Merchantguidegoy.png
File:4Chan Media Destruction.jpg
File:30kg.jpg
File:Actsofkindness.png
File:4changhostpuncher.png
File:Nigganimals.png
File:4chanchickenman.jpg
File:Memesofb.jpg|[[Memes]], lol
File:4chIveGivenuponreality.png
File:4chanbrovswomen.jpg
File:The-last-shooper.jpg|The last shooper
File:B hates ed.jpg|ED made newfags
File:88truthsoflife.jpg
File:Mootbuck.jpg
File:4chan-scene.jpg|Is this funny? I don't know (edit) No, it's not.
File:4chan 2.0.gif|Their faggoty new front page
File:4ChanVTECWRYYY.GIF|A gay little drawing
File:4chanHelpGuide.jpg|Knowing this will make you very [[l33t]] on 4chan.
File:4chan-government.jpg|TL;DR
File:4chanBrawl.png|4chan Brawl.
File:4chan-warning.jpg|Warning
File:4chan-Sage.jpg|[[Sage]]
File:4chan_-_Smash_face_on_keyboard_then_post_results.jpg
File:Samefag.png
File:SEMENDEMON.jpg
File:Semendemen.png
File:4chan-motivation.jpg|Ass 'n Titties
File:4chan-guide.jpg|A guide to all the boards.
File:to-the-point.Jpg|4chan gets straight to the point.
File:4chan-camwhore-guide.png|Camwhore guide
File:B summary.jpg|/b/
File:Downloadhentai.jpg|This is what 4chan is for.
File:4chandown.JPG|'''{{archive|SRHTE|mirror}}'''
File:4chan_shit.jpg
File:Bosch's4chan.jpg|Oh God...
File:Kill4u.jpg|An example of the high-brow users that frequent 4chan.
File:4chanMacro.jpg
File:Phail btard.jpg|Typical chan fag.
File:PartyVan.jpg
File:4chanchildren.PNG
File:4chanban.JPG|BAWWWWWWW!
File:Nodude.jpg
File:4chan demotivator.jpg|Another [[demotivator]]
File:Nigger thread.jpg|[[Demotivator]] from early [[R9gay|/r9k/]].
File:4chanmap.jpg|Your basic map of 4chan.
File:Holy council of 4chan.jpg
File:Banned2.png|Some have proven it IS possible to get banned from 4chan.
File:Bman.png|Typical 4channer.
File:Chemistslab.jpg
File:Choose1item.jpg
File:Differencebetweenmenandwomen.jpg
File:Peter_pan.jpg|[[What]].
File:Pinklolibrokeinternets.jpg|4chan + pink elephants = WIN!
File:Churchsign.jpg|Now I lay me down to sleep.
File:Googling_4chan.jpg|[https://www.google.com/search?q=inurl%3A4chan.org%2Fb&num=100&hl=en&safe=off&filter=0 Someones grandma is getting 4chan banned from the internet, one thread at a time.]
File:Mysql.png|Yotsuba causes most of 4chans server troubles.
File:Sinistar22.JPG|Beware, I live!
File:4chancookie.jpg|Typical 4chan cookie message
File:Newfags_are_killing_b.jpg|[[OMG|Oh my shitty fucking]] [[God]], go [[an hero|kill yourselves]].
File:4changoogle.jpg|4chan according to [[Google]].
File:Australia Tourist Trap.jpg
File:Hansen-pedo.gif|A pedo-bait .gif posted on 4chan.
File:4chan-pedo-thread.gif|The reaction to the previous .gif.
File:Poolesclosed.jpg|POOLE'S CLOSED
File:Memeslol.jpg|An even gayer drawing.
File:HC_sad_truth.png|The sad truth of /hc/.
File:A_CHALLENGER_APPEARS.jpg|[[A challenger appears]].
File:ONB.jpg|[[Something Awful]] explains 4chan.
File:Babyatcomputer.jpg|Your average 4chan user.
File:4chan tech support.png|4chan's tech support.
File:Getacompliment.png|Reporting spam in /[[g]]/ moves you up in life.
File:Fagatron.jpg|touch my Disko /b/al
File:4chan-venn-diagram.png|Welcome to 4chan.
File:DDoS.jpg|You are unwelcome at 4chan.
File:sadjesus.png|[[facepalm|Jesus is sad for 4chan]]
File:4chanbunny.jpg|Listen to the bunny, he knows best.
File:Queen moot.jpg|Bow before your queen
File:4chanOperator.jpg
File:4chan a thread1.png|How [[a/|/a/]] reacts to casuals
File:Axis_of_internet_evil.jpg
File:4Chan_-_Haets_Fur_Fags.png
File:4Chan_-_Employee.png|Always a great resume addition!
File:Example_%26_4Chan_-_B.jpg
File:3_tires.png
File:GayBlowjobPhotoshop.jpg|I RECOGNIZE THAT GAY BLOWJOB!
File:McDonalds_Embarrassing.png|Beta.
File:Walmart_Beta.jpg|More Beta.
File:Tour_De_Lune.png
File:Laid_Zero_Times.png|Such a lucky guy.
File:British_People.jpg
File:KoTH_I_Hate_Every_Single.png
File:I_try_to_masterbate.jpg|[[STDs|My masterbate is fire]].
File:Batman_Play.png
File:Mod_Swag.jpg|[[Mods]] are gods.
File:Mod_Zipper.png
File:Legsless_Lucy.png
File:7BONG.png
File:You_Dont_Know_Embarrassment.png
File:Best_Metal.jpg
File:Its_A_Privilege.png|[[pol|It was a privilege]].
File:Hellsing_Crosseye.jpg
File:Beta_Is_Alpha_As_Fuck.jpg|Even more Beta.
File:Time_Flies_Faggot.jpg|Time flies when you're a faggot.
File:v_goes_crazy.jpg|/v/ shows off how lonely they are.
File:Crocery_Store.jpg
File:Microwave_Pizza.jpg|Remember: The only people who buy microwaveable pizza are the ones who will most likely [[die alone]].
File:Dont_4chan_When_Its_Late.png
File:Rape_Yes.png|Always say [[yes]] before getting raped.
File:Rotaries_And_Straights_Troll.jpg|Typical /o/ discussion.
File:Snoop_Breaker.png|Don't EVER let /b/ [[divide by zero|successfully count to 10]].
File:Tow_Truck_Woes.png
File:Weird_Fucking_Fetishes.jpg|4chan is a great place to talk about your robot fetishes.
File:Drama!.gif
File:4chan-laser.jpg
File:4chan Better Than Sherlock.gif
File:4chan hobo fellatio.jpg
File:4chan-Racism.png
File:4chan b.png
File:4chan4eva1.png
File:4chanduringsex10.jpg
File:4chanchad.jpg
File:Comprehensiveguidetoshitposting.jpg|A comprehensive guide to shitposting.
File:Confusedanimegirls.png
File:Dubstheforbiddenone.jpg
File:UNInvestigates4chan.jpg|Investigated by UN
File:4chanduringsex8.jpg
File:Pandorasbox.jpg
File:4chanepiccreep.jpg
File:4chanstarwarscosplay.jpg
File:Geertwillrule.jpg
File:BUILDWALL.jpg
File:4chanweebfreaks.jpg
File:4chanslavroll.png
File:4chanvsreddit.png
File:Ripdandog.png
File:4chanstoryfags.png
File:4chanbattlestationfreak.jpg
File:Realityglitchgf.jpg
File:EDCfedora.jpg
File:Finalkek.jpg
File:Gameboyfellatio.png
File:Issacnewton4chan.jpg
File:Hitlergunclean.jpg
File:BLMcumtribute.png
File:Pcserviceautiststory.png
File:Genzfag.png
File:Waifutriggered.png
File:2014vs2015.jpg
File:4Chan User Faps To Horse Shit.jpg|This user jacks off to literal horse shit.
File:The Army Is Fucking Gay.jpg|4chan user describes his erotic experiences in the United States Military
File:ED User AlGore IRL.jpg|Typical 4chan fag
File:4chanyourenotwelcomehere.jpg
File:Fedorastalker.jpg
File:Suckmydickaccidentally.png
File:Convertsecondstomicrowavetime.png
File:Madmaxfuryroadshrek.jpg
File:RussianfindsISIS.jpg
File:Youravg4chanautist.png
File:4chstopbeinga.png
File:Validrapeclaims4ch.jpg
File:Injectglowstick.jpg
File:Altoidsautist.png
File:Kidtriestohirepersonalarmy.png
File:OPGFcockcalculaton.jpg
File:Findpassedoutskankatnight.jpg
File:Mommynomommynmooo.png
File:Irelandbritbong.png
File:Sentmycrushapoem.png
File:Rapealiens.jpg
File:Alpharabbit4ch.png
File:Seniorinhscringe.png
File:Pepewalmart.png
File:4chan Friends Meet.jpg
File:Elementarycrignetime.png
File:4Chan Count To 100.jpg
File:Cumbrowniesk.jpg
File:Elementarycringeage.png
File:Googlechildpr0n.png
File:2 25 2008 4chan.jpg
File:Aprils Fools Day 4chan.jpg
File:April 22 2007 4Chan Creativity.jpg
Image:4chanWP.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{frame|<youtube>Skyu6h1NTN8</youtube>|margin=auto}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Chanapocalypse]]
*[[4chan Gold Account]]
*[[4chan-verify]]
*[[chanarchive]]
*[[Fuuka]]
*[[B|/b/]] - Random board
*[[Pol/|/pol/]] - Political board
*''[[Time Magazine]]''
*[[moot]]
*[[Hiroyuki Nishimura]]
*[[brb, soup]]
*[[brb, compromised]]
*[[Old /b/ Day]]
*[[The xchan effect]]
*[[rape.sh]]
*[[4scrape]]
*[[4chan bans]]
*[[Moot is Olev]]
*[[Newfag]]
*[[July 29 Merchant broadcast]]
*[[4chan/WikiWorld]] - History - '''{{archive|drD9R}}''' [https://wiki.bibanon.org/4chan/History] '''{{archive|bOPOX#73%}}'''
*[[Pedophilia apologia]]
*[[Clovergender]]

==Chatroom==
See: [[4chan/IRC]].

==External links==

[[Image:J board.jpg|300px|thumb|4chans Janitor and Moderator board only accessible by [[Moderator|those who sucked moot off hard enough]], and no, you are not invited...]]

*{{twitter|4chan|4chan's twitter}}
*{{yt|c|UCCzaqOjCxPAwyQ0X1gxZ65w|4chan Official YouTube Account}}
*[https://wiki.bibanon.org/4chan/History The <s>incomplete</s> more or less complete history of 4chan] — A timeline of early history to the present.
*'''{{archive|Jdf3g|4chan image mirror}}''' — Realtime mirror of the /b/ images with categorizing, tagging, and searching.
*{{wayback|http://www.nopaste.com/p/a0EWbGqdC|20080814002801|title=Instructions on how to access 4chan (works as of 08/10/2008)}}.
*{{wayback|http://pedobaer.com|20091101074900|title=Pedobear}} — The Worlds Famous Meme Created By 4chan
*[https://blog.4chan.org/ 4chanstatus The current 4chan Status] — in case 4chan is [[Fap|inaccessible]].
*'''{{archive|Qkn8J|Additional Pylons}}''' — A compilation of 4chan [[lulz]]
*'''{{archive|rJIJ4|Sign the petition to get rid of furries on 4chan.}}'''
*'''{{archive|LpZK6|Macrochan}}''' — A collection of lame 4chan image macros.
*[http://macrochan.org/index.php Macrochan] — A completely different collection of lame 4chan image macros.
*'''{{archive|6ytEu|Chanhistory}}''' — A collection of 4chan screencaps.
*[https://www.google.com/search?q=inurl%3A4chan.org%2Fb&num=100&hl=en&safe=off&filter=0#ip=1 In response to a legal request submitted to Google, we have removed 508 result(s) from this page.] — 4chan banned from the Internet, one thread at a time.
*{{pastebin|jyN306Ce|Dongfix owns Imgbear: evidence}}
*'''{{archive|QfWZT|Dongfix's janitor script}}'''
*'''{{archive|rFhBe|Dongfix's report script}}'''
*[mailto:moot@4chan.org email moot]
<center>[[Image:Read the rules.png|link=https://www.4chan.org/rules]]</center>

{{chans}}
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The Donald

2025-02-08T03:24:51Z

Stooge:

:'''''The Donald''' redirects here. For the subreddit, check out '''[[TheDonald]]'''. ''
:'''''However,''' if you are a [[Faggot|liberal]] or a [[Racist|Neo]]-[[Faggot|Nazi]] in need of [[Srs bsns|serious]] [[Safe Space|truth]] about the God-Emperor, check out '''[[Donald Drumpf]]'''.''
{{spoiler|He pulled a Grover Cleveland}}
{{achtung|NOBODY IS SAFE FROM THE DONALD}}
[[File:Donald trump hires jesus christ.jpg|center]]
 
[[File:EmperorTrump.png|right|300px|thumb|This Man has generated more [[butthurt]] than the rest of our political establishment, mass media and the one percent combined.]]
[[File:King Donald Trump.jpg|300px|thumb|Say My Name Bitch]]
[[File:Trump-sacred-meme.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The Sacred Trump Meme]]

'''His Grace, the Imperial Majesty on the Iron Throne, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus "Pußygrabbin" I of the House of Trump''' will make [[Warhammer|Warhammer 40,000]] real. He is a [[pretty cool guy]] and the <s>[[2016 Presidential Elections|45th]]</s> [[2024 Presidential Elections|47th president]] of the [[United States]] and doesn't afraid of anything. Never half-piss around when President Trump is near cause He'll [[rape]] you for not fully pissing around, fire you for being unproductive, sue you for [[libel]], and pillage your clan of its cattle and [[whores|fertile women]]. Trump literally put an epic [[Death Note|Just As Planned]]: exactly at the time when Hillary was gloating over cheating and controlling the Polls, the Donald unleashed his secret superweapon, the Silent Majority who didn't participate in Clinton's rigged polls but revealed their support for Trump in the election. Before having the 2020 election stolen from him by [[Jews|(((them)))]], Trump was on the [[Game of Thrones|Iron Throne]], gloating [[Trollface|U mad SJWs?]] while Democrats were committing mass suicide while yelling "[[Planet of the Apes|You maniacs! You should have endorsed Bernie Sanders! Damn you, God Damn You All to Hell!!]]"
 

{{Quote|'''Donald Trump is a genius.'''|[https://www.thewrap.com/michael-moore-roseanne-totally-nuts-trump-evil-genius/ Michael Moore]}}

==2016 Nomination==
[[File:ChrisChanHatesTrump.PNG|thumb|right|360px|An [[Chris Chan|average U.S. citizen]]'s [[Butthurt|reaction]] to Donald Trump winning the elections.]]
[[File:Trump's goldfinger.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Hail the God Emperor]]
[[File:Making racism cool again.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Hang out the flags!]]
[[File:Love trump's hate.png|right|thumb|200px|A grammar Nazi is fine too]]
*Trump has won the nomination by default.
*The last of the republican nominees quit.
*[[Hillary Clinton]] was the last person left in His way, but He rose to power nonetheless.
*The establishment didn't want it.
*Leaders of the RNC didn't want it.
*Most of the mainstream media pundits didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of people polled didn't want it.
*Obama didn't want it.
*Comey didn't want it.
*Le epic liberal celebrities like [[John Oliver]], [[retard|Bill Maher]], [[Stephen Colbert]], and [[Jon Stewart]] didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of the media didn't want it, including [[Hollywood]].
*Goldman Sachs didn't want it.
*JP Morgan didn't want it.
*George Soros didn't want it.
*A shitload of other SJW apologists and globalist Muslim importers didn't want it.
*The overwhelming majority of elitist out-of-touch faggots colluding with the media didn't want it.
**But the postman delivering your mail wanted it.
**Your barber down the street wanted it.
**Your local plumber fixing your pipes wanted it.
**The hardworking coal miner who worked 20 hours a day to put his two kids through college wanted it.
**The man driving you on the bus wanted it.
**The people wanted it.

{{tinyrainbow|'''And the people won.'''}}
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>zT0Rjc6jKCg</youtube> <center></center> 
|<youtube>nRp1CK_X_Yw</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>0z0iuWh3sek</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>SM0cAzjZbEI</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

 

=== Drama-whoring as political activism ===
[[File:Hurricane donald.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The calm at the center of the storm]]
[[File:New yorker editor denounces president-elect trump.jpg|220px|thumb|right|[[TL;DR]] - [[BAWWW|"BAWWW!"]]]]
Prior to Trump winning the 2016 election, countless individuals across the Unites States vowed to become expatriates. Some throwers of said political tantrums are more noteworthy than others:

#[[The Colbert Report|Stephen Colbert]]
#Jimmy Kimmel
#[[The Daily Show|Trevor Noah]]
#[[Rosie O’Donnell]]
#Ashley "I'm A Nasty Woman" Judd
#Kathy Griffin [[White Trash|Unfunny Irish Catholic Soulless Ginger]]
#[[Amy Schumer]] and her fat vagina{{jew}}
#[[Lena Dunham|Lena]] [[Dyke|Dunham]]{{jew}}
#Alyssa Milano
#Chelsea Handler{{jew}}
#[[J.K. Rowling]]
#[[Miley Cyrus]]
#[[Whoopi Goldberg]]{{jew}}
#[[Stephen King]]
#Rob Reiner
#Samuel Jackson
#George Lopez
#George Clooney and his Muslim wife Amal
#[[Al Sharpton]]
#[[The Daily Show|Jon "Stewart" Leibowitz]]{{jew}}
#Eddie Griffin
#Cher
#Scarlett Johansson
#Raven-Symoné
#Barry Diller
#[[Katie Hopkins]]
#Omari Hardwick
#Bryan Cranston
#Katy Perry
#[[Joy Villa]] lied about supporting Trump for [[Scientology]]
#Madonna
#Chris Evans
#[[Star Wars|Mark Hamill]]
#[[Tara Strong]]{{jew}}
#[[Anita Sarkeesian]] wants more [[Patreon|victim]] bucks because of her feelings
#[[Brianna Wu]] blames [[GamerGate]] and wants to run for Congress in 2018
#Firecrotch
#Megyn Kelly
#Literally every crybaby liberal between the ages of 14-22

===Trump 'Make America Great Again' hat meme===
In 2015, President Trump introduced His campaign swag bearing the slogan 'Make America Great Again'.
Although Ronald Reagan was the original user of this legendary phrase, Trump was the first to put it on a hat.
By the end of 2016, everyone in America who wasn't an ISIS member or SJW was sporting the popular 'Make America Great Again' ballcap!!
<center><youtube>Jv4Ubp0hdEU</youtube></center>

==[[2016 Presidential Election]]==
{{Spoilers|Donnie just won [[The game]], because of all the [[white|WHITE]] REDNECKS in flyover states that HATE AMERICA}}
{{achtung|'''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Muslims|KEBABS]]. [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|BURN]] [[Feminists|FEMINISTS]]. [[Ban|DEPORT]] [[Spics|ILLEGALS]].''' ''' [[Warhammer|THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND PROTECTS ALL!]]'''}}
 
[[File:Trump ringside fist salute.gif|center]]
 
[[File:Warrior trump 345.jpg|center|450px]]
[[File:General patton is donald trump.jpg|right|thumb|All-American heroes]]
[[File:Huffington_Post_on_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|If only pundits were as aware as this meme regarding Trump's rise.]]
[[File:Donald_Trump_RAPE.png|right|thumb|Self Explanatory.]]
[[File:Unstumpable_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|[[Mantrain|The Trump Train]] has no brakes!]]
[[File:America's new frontier trump wall.jpg|thumb|left|Sorry but we have cool shit back here.]]
[[File:Trumpvsbernie.jpg|right|thumb|150px|This is what [[Liberalism|liberals]] actually believe.]]
{{quote|To understand today’s Republican Party, you have to understand that despite the fact that they had on the stage five governors, three senators, and a retarded neurosurgeon, first and foremost they wanted to get the opinion of President Donald Trump — a ham-colored cartoon character from I Love the ‘80s. Once you accept that, the rest of the night makes perfect sense.

That’s all they have to sell: fear. Hope and change meet pee and poo. The entire slate of them up there seemed entirely unaware of the fact that women can now vote. Megyn Kelly asked President Trump right off the bat about President Trump calling women ‘fat pigs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘dogs.’ Trump’s answer? ‘I don’t have time for political correctness.’ He’s like one of those construction workers from the ‘70s who goes, ‘Nice tits. Oh, what? I can’t compliment a lady anymore?’ It’s crazy.”| --[http://www.salon.com/2015/08/08/bill_maher_unloads_on_nasty_boorish_sexist_ignorant_smug_donald_trump/ Bill Maher,] a typical lolbertarian who can't be more mature than "pee and poo."}}

{{quote|Sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.|[[Chris-chan]] [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/$50_for_a_video_holiday_greeting! stumps the Trump]. (Now that Chris-chan's a shemale, he's a leftist.)}}

After 18 months of relentless bitchfighting, constant bashing by the media to the point of obvious bias and collusion, literal loathing by leftists and extreme institutional corruption, Trump still won the 2016 United States Presidential election and became POTUS. GG. 
[[File:Bill and hillary clinton are gracious in defeat.jpg|center|500px]] 
{{clear}}

=== Rick Wilson ===

[[File:RickWilson.jpg|right|thumb|250px|What goes around...]]

Within the frigid depths of January, [[2016]], Republican media consultant and adviser to multiple failed candidates Rick Wilson railed against Trump the only way he knew how. During a [[old media|television interview]], Wilson denounced Trump's younger supporters as "childless single men who masturbate to anime and will never amount to anything." Though none can deny the obvious truth of such a statement, said lack of refutation did nothing to deter something along the lines of [[CIA|blowback]].

Watchful and doubtlessly butthurt Trumpenkriegers almost immediately discovered that Wilson's son was a 19-year-old layabout whose primary activity was writing and publishing [https://web.archive.org/web/20170125082843/http://rachelvaltrexacote.kinja.com/when-a-gop-pundit-attacked-trolls-responded-what-they-1754204712 blatantly cringeworthy snuff and rape fapfiction]. In particular, Rick Wilson's son, Andrew Wilson, enjoys fantasizing about brutally beating and raping prostitutes and pissing down their throats. It appears as though Wilson has yet to realize the [[hypocrisy]] of the situation, as his own deviant wastrel is no better than the weeaboos he openly loathes.

Strangely enough, this is not the only time that Wilson's name has surfaced in connection with dodgy fiction about Trump and pissing prostitutes.
 
 
{{main|GoldenShowerGate}}
 

===Grab Them By The Bush===
[[File:Ave trumpus maximus.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Trumpus [[Hugh Mungus|Maximus]]]]
It wouldn't be a Presidential election without an attempt to rig it being made by the Bush dynasty, and 2016 was no exception.

In October 2016, a tape emerged, in which The Donald is heard engaging in harmless banter about how He [[Fuck her right in the pussy|flirts with the laydees.]]

The libtard media naturally went apeshit over it, announcing it as [[GAME OVER YEAH|'game over']] for the touching-up-loving Tycoon.

What they missed was that {{archive|eT2XI|the source}} for the tape (recorded in 2005 and kept secret till now [[Obvious|for some reason]]) is the nephew of [[George Herbert Walker Bush|George HW Bush]] and therefore [[Jeb Bush]]'s cousin. Update: January 19, 2017. A day before Trump's inauguration, Grandpa Bush was taken into hospital, scheduled for release the day after the event. Obviously trying to establish [[I see what you did there|a water-tight alibi.]]

===Almost rapist===
Weeks before [[2016_Presidential_Election|election day]], multiple women came forward accusing The Donald of [[almost raped|almost rape]], over a year into His campaign, and years after the fact. One woman even accused the billionaire of kissing her on the lips! How the fuck does a [[Christian Grey|sexually aggressive billionaire in a suit]] keep getting away with it? What woman fantasizes about that? Women didn't buy [[Fifty Shades of Grey]], the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Thanks to Billy Bush, who was fired by the Today Show, we all know what kind of man Trump really is! What [[wimmins|woman]] would ever want a rich white guy to grab them by the pussy? Apparently, 1998 Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen McDougal, who allegedly had an affair with The Donald from 2005 to 2006 while He was married to Melania Trump. McDougal allegedly told her story to the National Enquirer a decade later for $150,000. But that's just tabloid garbage, like [[Bill Clinton]] supposedly having an affair with Gennifer Flowers for a dozen years, or Bill Clinton supposedly raping Juanita Broaddrick in 1987, or Bill Clinton supposedly settling with Paula Jones for $850,000, or [[Hillary Clinton]] flying to Orgy Island with Jeffrey Epstein at least 6 times. [[Amirite]]? The White House has standards people! You can't just put [[Democrat|some guy]] into the White House who's going to [[JFK|fuck Marilyn Monroe]] or [[Bill Clinton|get]] a [[fellatio|BJ]] in the Oval Office from a [[Monica Lewinsky|Jewish intern]] and stick a cigar up her cooch. Women will not stand for it!

==2025 Second Term==

He beat that [[retarded]] [[camwhore]] [[Kamala Harris (prostitute)|Kamala Harris]] and will bring [[total nigger death]] and bring big titty [[goth]] girlfriends for every Aryan motherfucker on the planet.

==Achievements Unlocked==
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|150G - Won the Presidency of the United States|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|20G - Grab her by the pussy|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Defeat Hillary Clinton on Veteran Difficulty|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|40G - Defeat the Mainstream Media|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|10G - Announce to ban the Muslims|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Survive a Headshot|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|300G - Won the Presidency of the United States again|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 

=== Executive Order Meme ===

Trump began to sign many executive orders a few days after he got into power. As he was being recorded, he held up an open folder presenting the details for the camera in a professional way. Due to the exploitable nature of the footage, people immediately began to shit out a bunch of cancerous memes from the {{Youtube|9HKBPwuFCyQ|video}}:

{{cg|'''Executive Memes'''|foldier|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump Book Liking Traps.png
File:Trump Book Scat.jpg
File:Trump Book Reply.jpg
File:Trump Book No More Smugs.png
File:Trump Book Salem.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===Post-Donald chimpouts===
[[File:J20 naked fat fuck.jpg|thumb|200px|Tuck Frump!]]
[[File:CR8hHrlWoAAJ-mO.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical liberal hate art.]]
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|donaldchimpouts|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>PLr2kOrABN4</youtube> <center>'''A protestor shows off his [[micropenis]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>nKMSWAGTU0E</youtube> <center>'''Brought to you by [[Happy Merchant|George Soros]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>UVE0JekVvt0</youtube> <center>'''How to beat a Trump supporter in an argument,works every time'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>
{{clear}}

=== Skills and XP points===
[[Image:Trumphair.jpg|left|thumb|150px||Sif's hair toupée.]]
*President Trump has the unique and awesome ability to dupe both [[Jews]] and [[You|goyim]] out of their money like a Chinaman.
*President Trump also has the ability to suspend time itself. This amazing power means that even though He continues to get older, His girlfriends never age beyond 23.
*Pissing off [[Liberal|libcucks]] and [[niggers]] by cutting their [[Holocaust|6 million]] [[Welfare|welfare programs]] and federal funding for studies of [[lesbian]] polar bears, all in order to [[pwn]] [[Muslim|Mudslimes]].
*Extra Points against [[Mexicans|Barbarians]]
*Can start a Golden Age (will consume the unit)
*[[You|Fags]] at ED stand behind Him every step of the way.
*President Trump can take a clean head shot and be unfazed.
<div style="height:100px; margin-bottom: 100px;"></div>

=== Known super powers===
* Capable of dodging bullets aimed at the back of his head from FBI snipers at ranges as close of 150 yards.

==Gallery of Greatness Again==
{{clear}}

===Make Trump Images Uploaded to ED Great Again===
{{cg|President Trump Gallery|trump|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:KingTrump.JPG
Image:TrumpWhiteHouse.JPG|Back to the Future Predicted Trump as President only off by 1 year. That's heavy.
Image:PresidentTrumpGTA5.JPG|My GTA 5 Online Character is now great again!
Image:Trump_Waifu.jpeg|Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
File:DONALDfirewall.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump becomes god face appears in clouds.png|Hosanna in excelsis!
File:GOP idiots.jpg
File:Election Night 2016.jpg|How to get rid of a hack
File:MevlutTrumpVSHillary.jpg|A hero rises for the people
Image:Trump_is_Jesus.jpg|People will literally die for Trump.
Image:Shitty_antiTrump_Meme.jpg|The inability to make good memes is why the leftists lost in 2016.
Image:Dtrumpmolest.jpg|Pre-gaming for the Bohemian Grove.
File:TrumpExploitable.png|[[Oh Exploitable!|Exploitable]] Trump.
File:Hillarytrumpwwe.gif
Image:King_Trump.jpg|President Trump with his personal staff.
File:Donald+Trump+Ivanka+daddy+daughter.jpg
Image:Trump.gif
File:Donaldtrumpggretweet.jpg|That moment when Trump retweets to [[GamerGate]]!
File:Trump will protect us.jpg
File:Facebook says ok to threaten trump murder, march 2016.png
File:Jews try to bring down trump.png
file:Donald j trump - the final solution?.png
File:Ae_trump.jpg|Lulz lobbyist who had a productive meeting with Trump
File:MOVEOVERJESUS.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Trumphammer 40,000===
{{cg|Trumphammer 40,000|40k|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump-40k-sword.jpg
File:Trump-emperor-usa.jpg
File:Trump-emps.jpg
File:God emperor of Mankind.jpg
File:Trump-emps-if.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Anon's Trump vs Hillary Comic===
{{cg|Election Day Comic (creds to anon)|EDC|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC1.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC2.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC3.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC4.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC5.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC6.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC7.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC8.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC9.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC10.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC11.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC12.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC13.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC14.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC15.png
</gallery>}}

===MAGA Anime Girls===
{{cg|Hot Anime Babes|anim3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trumppillow.jpg|Weebs for Trump
File:TrumpAnimeBabe1.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe2.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe3.jpg
File:TrumpAnimeBabe4.jpg
File:MAGApantiessex.png
</gallery>}}

<center><big>For more images go to [[The Donald/images|The images section]]</big></center>

==In a nutshell==
 
 
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>ZbM6WbUw7Bs</youtube> <center>'''Big In Japan'''</center> 
|<youtube>gUlF1naMr3Y</youtube> <center>'''MAGAMIX'''</center> 
|<youtube>4tXv_PJPycA</youtube> <center>'''Notice me, Trump [[Senpai]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>1WUVP6l9Das</youtube> <center>'''Trump's Lovemaking Theme.'''</center> 
|<youtube>IyPkshnIiyc</youtube> <center>'''Going for [[Orgasm|multiples]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>Ej8YpsIo4_g</youtube> <center>'''Russian edition'''</center> 
|<youtube>kvB4rBI4MtA</youtube> <center>'''Trump supporter telling it like it is!'''</center> 
|<youtube>ZC7aYLBqevc</youtube> <center>'''Trumphammer 40k'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>BeNEq0TWGdk</youtube> <center>'''Trump haters in a nutshell'''</center> 
|<youtube>7DRL6ocEK-M</youtube> <center>'''Trump Foreign Policy'''</center> 
|<youtube>yZNtYmdZ-4c</youtube> <center>'''Never come down'''</center> 
|<youtube>l4wY3C88oC0</youtube> <center>'''The Trump Rap'''</center> }}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

==Things The Donald LOVES==
[[File:Melania_trump_im_with_her_graffiti_by_lushsux.jpg|thumb|right|First Lady of the United States. Also a [[Brony|Pegasister]]]]
[[File:The wicked wall comic panels.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Liberal Spider-cuck versus the Donald. Stay tuned!]]
*[[Jim Traficant]] He was the original Trump that opened the door
* '''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBAB]]'''
*[[Win|Winning]]
*[[Pussy]]
*Grabbing pussy
*[[Winner|You]]
*Your Mom
*His [[autist]]ic son [[Barron Trump]]
*Wounded soldiers
*China
*Wrong Wrong Wrong
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]]
*Success
*More success
*The opposite of immigrants
*Pepe
*Anime
*Memes
*[[Dindus]], he loves their fried chicken
*[[Mexico]], he loves the Mexican "culture"
*[[Trumpwave]]

== Products and companies President Trump asks you to boycott ==
[[File:Trump Tweets.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Just another day on President Trump's Twitter account.]]
* '''[[Islam|Döner Kebab]]'''
* Oreo cookies
* <s>Carrier Air Conditioners</s>
* Pfizer Pharmaceuticals
* Starbucks
* [[Apple]]
* Mexican Drugs
* Chinese Products(except His hats)
* Taco Bell's Tex-Mex menu
* Pinatas
* The Democratic Party
* Sombreros

==His supporters==
[[file:MelaniaTrump.png|thumb|500px|Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) in an old Max pictorial.[[Fap]] [[Fap]] [[Fap]]]]
* Basket of deplorables (I hear they're all in the [[KKK]], much like the KKK's first Grand Dragon, Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who spoke at the 1868 Democratic National Convention)
* David Ernest Duke, convicted felon and former Grand Wizard of the actual Ku Klux Klan.
* Reverend William Owens of the Coalition of African American Pastors
* Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke
* U.S. Department of Homeland Security Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
* [[Riley34470]]
* [[Pepe|Frog]] lovers
* [[Pol|/pol/]]
* [[The South]]
* Some generals or some shit
* Some union having to do with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, responsible for dealing with wetbacks
* <s>Kirstie Alley</s>
* Chachi/Charles in Charge
* [[Peter Thiel]], who The Advocate said could not be gay as a result
* That fag [[Milo]]
* The [[Alt-right]]
* Ted Nugent
* [[NotMySuperbowlChamps|Tom Brady]]
* Former Yankee Paul O'Neill
* Former college basketball coach Bob Knight
* Baseball player Johnny Damon
* Mike Ditka
* Pro golfer Natalie Gulbis
* [[Mike Tyson]]
* Dennis Rodman
* [[Hulk Hogan]]
* Dana White
* [[Kid Rock]]
* [[Angelina Jolie]]'s dad Jon Voight
* [[Duck Dynasty]] star Willie Robertson
* People who hate women
* Omarosa Manigault
* Teresa Giudice
* Azealia Banks
* [[Tila Tequila]]
* Loretta Lynn
* [[Gary Busey]]
* Stephen Baldwin
* Aaron Carter
* Marxist philosopher Slavoj Zizek
* Wayne Newton
* [[Jesse James]]
* [[Ann Coulter]]
* Mike Cernovich
* [[Stefan Molyneux]]
* [[Obama|Obama's]] brother [[Malik Obama]]
* [[Dilbert]] creator Scott Adams
* [[Paul Joseph Watson]]
* [[Sargon of Akkad]]
* [[Jesus Christ]]
* [[Satan|Mormon Jesus]]
* All sane individuals
* Kanye West
* Steven Crowder
* Gavin McInnes
* Jeffrey Lorde
* Fox News
* Breitbart.com
* Styxhexenhammer666
* Bill Belichik
* InfoWars
* Lack of Evidence
* Alternative Facts
* Kellyanne Conway
* Asra Nomani
* Jesse Ventura
* Hulk Hogan
* Israeli Zionists
* Conspiracy Theorists
* Nazis
* Richard Spencer
* White Supremacy
* James Comey
* Sean Hannity
* Bill O'Reilly
* Jesse Watters
* Bill Elliot
* Chase Elliot
* Nawaz Sharif
* Modi
* The Blacks
*Cubans
* [[You]] (Because you think he can [[Hentai|MAKE ANIME GREAT AGAIN]])

==President Trump's new best friends==
[[File:TrumpHorse.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Trio.]]
* <s>[[Steve Bannon|Bannon, Steve]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Nigel Farage|Farage, Nigel]]
* [[Alex Jones|Jones, Alex]]
* <s>[[Theresa May|May, Theresa]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Putin|Rasputin, Wladimir]]... if you're a snowflake

== See also ==
[[File:Jessica valenti bawwws over trump election.png|380px|thumb|right|[[Jessica Valenti|An airhead columnist]] who let her child live in feminist fantasy-land, and now has [[Shit that will never happen|some explaining to do.]] Such as why [[Irony|most women voted for Trump.]]]]

* [[Donald Drumpf|Trump article by shitlib faggots]]
* [[The Mueller Report]] - a TL;DR h8fic that disappointed libs around the world
* [[Uncle Dolan|''Dolan'' Trump]]
* [[Mike Pence]] - running mate and VP
* [[Barron Trump]] - youngest son who draws big-tittied cartoon girls and makes headlines for possibly being autistic
* [[Bernie Madoff]]
* [[Post Trump Stress Disorder]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Emperor]]
* [[Business]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Blaming China]]
* [[Correct the Record]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]] Obama's inaction killed him
* [[Thomas Matthew Crooks]]: Better Known as '''''Ree Tardy Oswald''''' for his Inept, Kindergarten attempt at assassinating [[The Donald]]
* [[Fired]]
* [[God]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[He Will Not Divide Us]] - HWNDUs gonna HWNDU
* [[JD Vance]]
* [[Jim Traficant]] Before there was Trump there was Big Jim
* [[Jews]]
* [[Roseanne Barr]] The Donald is a fan
* [[Rosie]]
* [[The Man]]
* [[Ceiling Cat|The True God]]
* [[Trump Tower Climber]]
* [[Back to the Future]] - this is the alternative time line [[FUCK YEAH]]!
* [[Thomas Dimassimo]]
* [[AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck]]
* [[Candice the Cuckslayer]]
* [[Khizr Khan]], token Muslim who Hillary brought to the DNC, supported terrorists in the 80s, had piss-drinking sex parties in the 90s, passed the torch on to the one who didn't die, prevents wife from talking

== External links ==
* [https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/putative Putative (Adj) ]
* [http://blog.dilbert.com/post/126589300371/clown-genius Trump the Master Persuader Wizard]
* <s>[http://stumptrump2016.com/ Now you too can stump the trump]</s> lol
* {{youtube|xGZaCnfNgLE|The Donald VS. Rosie - Trump calls Rosie a failure.}}
* [http://www.etonline.com/tv/news/38140/index.html Entertainment Tonight covers Trump/Rosie drama] - lol
* [https://www.change.org/p/donald-trump-demand-a-nuclear-annihilation-of-the-ukraine-6ecbce68-adb6-47c8-aee1-7875e3eab135?recruiter=549171149&utm_source=petitions_show_components_action_panel_wrapper&utm_medium=copylink| Vote for Donald Trump to Make America Great Again]
* [http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Mountain-View-teacher-suspended-for-comparing-10610974.php The 'perfect storm'?] - [[Holohoax|Holocaust]] [[Jew|scholar]] teaches kids that [[Godwin's Law|Trump is like Hitler,]] school suspends him as a threat to their [[Safe Space|'safe space]]' (citing [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|traumatised chidren)]] and it sparks an [[Internet petition|internet petition.]]
* {{kym|memes/people/donald-trump Donald Trump}} - [[Know Your Meme]] is making cancer great again.

 

{{politics}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Trump}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 16 & 17, [[2015]]|[[Shamwow]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[RationalWiki]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 9, November 10 & November 11, [[2016]]|[[Dan Cilley]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Hillary Clinton]]}}
{{timeline|Featured Article July 3 & 4 , [[2019]]|[[Kothorix]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Peter Bright]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 30 and 31, [[2023]]|[[Chris-chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Donald Drumpf]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured Article]] for November 6, November 7 & November 8 [[2024]]|[[LSD]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Pickles]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured Article]] for January 19, & 20, [[2025]]|[[Shamsud-Din Bahar Jabbar]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Nuclear War]]}}

[[Category:People|Trump, Donald]]
{{Corner|br|[[Image:Trumpcorner.png|70px]]}}

Kanye West

2025-02-07T23:57:18Z

Stooge:

{{achtung|HE’S BACK TO JEW-HATING}}
[[image:Kanye West Autism Speaks.png|340px|thumb|Yes, yes we do.|right]]

'''Kanye West''' aka Yeezy or Ye, is a [[rap|rapper]], [[gd/|designer]], [[self-diagnosed]] [[bipolar]] [[attention whore]], [[LOLWUT|former US Presidential candidate]], all while also being a literal [[nigger]][[faggot]].

Born in Atlanta, Georgia, and raised in Chicago, on the playground is where he spent most of his younger days; <strike>[[Bel-air|Chillin out maxing and relaxing all cool and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school...]]</strike>

Srsly though, West was raised in Chicago, and grew up around [[coons|gangbangers]] and playas. We don't have much to say about his young adulthood years since that's BORING SHIT, LOL.

Kanye West has been at the forefront of much IRL and internet drama, and as a result, we here at Encyclopedia Dramatica are humbly taking on the [[no|vital]] public service of explaining his discography, musical career and political life to plebians such yourself. ''"Yeezus just rose again..."''

==Musical career==
So, flash forward from West's youth, all the way up to the year 2000. It's the dawn of the Nu-Millennium and the new beginning of an endless age of shitty mass-produced pop music. Kanye West begins "producing" music/recordings for musicians on the rap label Roc-A-Fella Records; notably [[illuminati|Jay-Z]] and Ludacris.

West next decides he wants to start making his OWN music, but is turned down by everyone at Roc-A-Fella because he does not fit the image of a gangsta rapper. Upset, West [[An hero|attempts suicide]] by crashing his car and nearly dies; not wanting the poor guy to kill himself, Jay-Z finally gives him permission to make his own album ([[nerd|technically]] it's called an [[vinyl|LP]], guiis!!). And so, "'''The College Dropout'''" is released in 2004, later followed by "'''Late Registration'''" in 2005 and "'''Graduation'''" in 2007. Forming a trilogy, these 3 hip hop albums feature some of West's most [[normies|accessible music]], as well as singles "[[Christian|Jesus Walks]]", "[[jewgold|Gold Digger]]" and that one song he made ripping off [[Daft Punk]].

"'''808s and Heartbreak'''" is released in 2008 and is notable for being the only Kanye West album to feature no explicit lyrics whatsoever, (well, it was, up until [[2019]]'s '''Jesus Is King''' album) and for its EXTENSIVE usage of [[Autotune]]. (Though to be fair, West used Autotune on the songs because his jaw was broken during the recording sessions for the album.)

[[File:Taylor-Swift-interruption-I-did-it-for-teh-lulz.jpg|thumb|right]]
And then - it all goes downhill... West goes on MTV's VMA, and tells Taylor Swift, to her face, that she shouldn't have won her award. He follows this up with random twitter beefs between him and "[[South Park]]" creators after being outed as an aficionado of "[[homosexuality|fishsticks]]" on said show.) West even got called out by then-President Obama, who called West a "jackass". West, however, not to be discouraged from "PRODUCING ART", [[crazy|locked himself up in a cabin in Hawaii, secluded himself from the outside world]], and came back with the ideas for his much-praised 2010 album <strike>A Good Ass Job</strike> '''''My [[Kawaii|Beautiful]] [[Nigger|Dark]] [[Twisted sexual acts|Twisted]] [[Fetish|Fantasy]]'''".

This album was followed up with 2013's "'''Yeezus'''" album, an [[Death Grips|industrial-style hip-hop]] album. The album cover for "Yeezus" was literally a coverless audio CD case with some red tape on the right side of the case. No, seriously, that was the "ART" that the self-proclaimed "[http://web.archive.org/web/20190705150632/https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/hip-hop/6889411/kanye-west-next-einstein-twitter-debut-new-song Closest Thing To Einstein]" came up with for his album. The "cover art" for "Yeezus" quickly became a meme, with many a custom cover artwork made based on it and it became a trend that many recording artists followed for years to come.

"'''The Life of Pablo'''"<strike>/"SWISH"/"So Help Me God"</strike> followed the Yeezus album. This album's releases were constantly postponed, renamed, and remixed before it finally arrived on the scene in 2016. Drama surrounded the release of "The Life of Pablo" as it was an online-only release, and was exclusive to Jay-Z's "lossless music streaming" site TiDAL. More e-drama ensued as West pulled the album several times after the official release date to re-remix, remove, and add tracks to the album. Truly "[[Nope|A LIVING WORK OF ART"]]. This was followed by 2018's <strike>TurboGrafx 16</strike> "'''Ye'''" album, which is [[The Great Black Dick Hoax|so short in duration that it puts the black man to shame]].

2019 began a shift in West's usual musical themes toward Christianity themes, as he went full-on-religious. He founded a gospel music group called "Sunday Service", began holding regular services across the country, and released a new album, "'''[[Christianity|Jesus Is King]]'''". Time will tell if this lasts.

"'''DONDA'''", was released after a shit-load of delays, in the middle of a [[shit no one cares about|streaming battle with Drake]] who beat him to a diss track with a [[nobody|Trippie Redd]] song. This made Kanye butthurt and Ye [[not really|leaked]] his "home". (Ye [[fail|actually just showed the home of Drake that anyone could look up with a quick Google search]].)

"'''DONDA 2'''" become Ye's next project soon after the release of Donda. And surprisingly, Kanye didn't delay the release date. He released an unfinished half-assed album on the day he promised and is going to "update" and "finish" this album in the future. This album is only available on the STEM Player but in reality everyone just downloaded it from [[piracy|"file sharing"]] websites. [[Cuckoldry|Kanye's also mad at some random comedian for banging his ex-wife so he made a diss track about it]]. Thanks to Ye and his stans constantly harassing him until he get mentally sick, the ex-wife broke up with him. Ye is currently looking forward to reunite with her and see take his kids back.[[Boredom|We off the Grid Grid Grid, Donda 2 is Mid Mid Mid]].
He's a total nigger for making an album sounds this horrible then still put his dead mother's name on it.

"'''Vultures 1'''" - After delaying the release of this [[at least 100]] times, Kanye finally shat out this half-assed album which was going to have an album cover ripping off [[Burzum]] but changed it at the last second. Vultures is a collab album with rapper [[Nobody cares|Ty Dolla $ign]] who is totally not Ye's ghostwriter. This is further proof that Kanye is descending into lolcow territory. Ye made one of his daughter, [[Powerword|North West]] to perfome on one of his shitty song. This album offended [[Anthony Fantano]] so much he made a video in response to it.

"'''Vultures 2'''" - The unfinished afterbirth of Vultures 1. Kanye got high on laughing gas an released a half finished pile of shit.
[[File:vulturesburzum.png|thumb|Didn't even try hiding it. So kvlt.]]
<center><youtube>M0jEngxUFz4</youtube></center>

And yes, he's probably still refusing to take his much-needed Bi-Polar pills.

==Kanye and Politics==
[[File:KANYEWESTFORPRESIDENTbutton-ItsAboutIDeasBro.jpg|thumb|right|It's ideas about bro]]
[[File:alternate reality kanye.jpg|thumb|right|Kanye Goldstein in the true timeline]]

{{quote|If my [[slavery|grandfather]] was here right now he would not let me back down! I don’t know I’m fittin’ to lose after this. It doesn’t matter though, cuz it ain’t about me. It’s about [[memes|ideas]], bro. [[old memes|New ideas]]. People with ideas. People who believe in truth,...

And yes, as you [[nope|probably could have guessed by this moment]], [[LOLWUT|I have decided in 2020 to run for president]].|West at the 2015 MTV VMAs, announcing his plans for a political career}}

Kanye West has long been "outspoken", and politics is no exception. West however, has gone from letting folks know "George Bush doesn't care about black people" in 2004, to pursuing the American Presidency in the USA's [[2020 Presidential Elections|2020]] and [[2024 USA Presidential Elections|2024]] Presidential Elections.

{{quote|Blacks are 90% Democrats That sounds like control to me 🤔|[http://archive.fo/cbr99 Kanye West], being to retarded to understand demographics.}}

Mista' West had planned to IRL-troll politics by srsly running for Prez of the USA in 2020; <strike>After meeting with Trump, West decided to postpone his run to 2024, simply because he believes that Trump [[no|will get elected for a second term in 2020]]. Word on tha streets, previously, was that he would probably run as a [[Trump|Republican]] or [[America's Third Party|Independent]].</strike> '''UPDATE: He gave up on The Donald and is running in the nutty year that is [[2020]] after all!! '''
===2020 Presidential Run===

Up until mid-2020, West was a known [[The Donald|Trumper]], having even met multiple times with (USA) President Trump from 2016-2018. [http://web.archive.org/web/20190804231635/https://consequenceofsound.net/2016/12/kanye-west-met-with-donald-trump-to-discuss-being-an-ambassador-of-sorts/ 1]. As of current times, West no longer wears the fabled red cap of Trumpers, while still claiming Trump to be “the closest president ... in years to allowing God to still be part of the conversation.”

On July 4, the year of our Lord [[2020]], Kanye West shocked the political landscape (at least as much as one could after [[2016]]) with a big, girthy, announcement. West had decided to run in 2020 after all - against "Creepy Uncle Joe Biden" and incumbent USA Troll-In-Chief "[[The Donald]]". His new political party, "The Birthday Party" (fronted by Mr. West, his Wyoming [[christian|pastor]] and nobody else) was also announced. While most of the world has laughed the campaign off as a stupid joke, Kayne seems to be taking ''very srsly''. [[nope|If he wins]] though, it'll be the biggest political troll since 4chan and Pepe the Frog memes catapulted a reality TV star an internet/twitter troll named Donald Trump to the White House in 2016. That's highly unlikely though since he missed the filing deadlines to be included on a number of state ballots as an independent candidate.

==Kanye Doesn't Care About Black People==
[[File:kanye and jesus.jpg|thumb|right|That's fucked up Kanye]]

In the [[boring|great]] year of [[2022]], Ye - may God bless him, had a busy year recording Donda 3 and leading the White Lives Matter movement. This has culminated in the [[negress|baby mama]] of beloved [[porn star]], [[opioids|opioid]] enthusiast, and [[DINDU NUFFIN|African American]] icon [[George Floyd]] filing a 250 million dollar lawsuit for saying that perhaps the massive amounts of fentanyl in his system contributed to his death.

==Kanye Is A Zionist Shill==
In October 2022, he appeared on Fox News's Tucker Carlson show and expressed his support to the world's favorite group of people: The [[Jews]]. He said that Planned Parenthood was founded by an eugenicist and KKK "to control the Jew population" and "I prefer my kids knew Hanukkah than Kwanzaa. At least it will come with some financial engineering." Thus, the floodgates were opened and the [[Anti-semite]]s caused the following:
*closure of his bank accounts
*dropped by lawyer
*banning from [[Twitter]] and [[Instagram]]
*cancellation of upcoming concerts
*loss of [[jewgold]]s caused by basically every brand cutting ties with him

On December 1, 2022, Kanye appeared on [[Alex Jones]] live show where he went full Zionist mode and declared his love and obedience towards the Jewish people. He made statements like “I love Jews,” “I love Jewish people,” “I love Zionists,” “[[Milo Yiannopoulos|Milo]] is Jewish, I love Milo,” that if he loses his presidential campaign the political leaders will be “held to christian values, not Zionist values,” and this is “the worst thing that can happen,” that Zionist are never at fault because it’s Satan that gets inside Zionists and makes them do bad things. He also said "he liked [[Hitler]]" and [[Nazis]] saying they created technology the jews use, and that Satan was one killing all the jews. The aftermath of his statements was another backlash from anti-semites that ended in [[Elon Musk]] suspending Kanye’s Twitter account.

{{clear}}

==Gallery==
{{cg|'''Best of Kanye'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Kanyefinsih.gif
File:KanyemaskSMALL.jpg|High res [http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/kanyemask.jpg here]
File:I love this album more than I love myself.jpg
File:Kanye west Imma let you finish.jpg
File:Kanye West - MY MAGA HAT IS SIGNED tweet.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Kanye-west-808s-heartbreak-kaws2 - Goatse.jpg
File:Kanye2020.jpg
File:Kanye.jpg
File:Kanye2.gif
Image:Kayne speech.png|Prophet Kanye West two weeks without taking his medication
File:Kanye_imma_let_you_finish.png
File:Kanye_west_lulz.jpg
File:Kanye_west_pink_sweater.jpg
File:Kanye_xibit.jpg
File:Kanye west - is-it-kanye-west-or-kanye-east.jpg
File:Kanyejack.jpg
Image:Kanye_cock.jpg|[[LOLDONGS]]
Image:KanyeWestEatsCock.jpg|Kanye munches cock.
image:Ilikefishsticks.jpg|[[Macro]]'d
File:Kanye West Gay Fish.png
File:Kanyejonasbrosownage.JPG
File:Kanyekanye.png
File:Kanyesonic.png
File:I just Wanted To Become Prez as A Joke And my friend Kanye Is Gonna Joke Around In 2024.jpg
File:Kanyetrolls.gif
File:Guide to defening.jpg|Defending Kanye tutorial
File:YeezusAlbumCover.jpeg|[[Loud Nigra|AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!]]
File:Ye album cover Minions "meme".jpg
File:Kanye West Has Anybody Really Been Far Even.jpg
File:Kanye West Keep America Great posters.jpeg
File:Watch-Kanye-West-Meets-Donald-Trump-in-the-Oval-Office-at-White-House.jpg
File:Kanye West - Graduation album cover but made only of kanye heads.jpg
File:Keep America Great Kanye West 2024.jpeg
File:Kanye West Kanye East meme.png
File:KanyeWest5f0.jpg
File:Kanye New Yorker cover art.jpg
File:A time for greatness Kanye for prez.jpg
File:KanyeWest2020NEWIDEASFAM.jpg
File:Kanye west yeezus gif animated album covers.gif
File:Oh Exploitable - Thank You Kanye Very Cool.png
File:KanyeWestGrandparentsVisit.jpeg
File:Kanye west - that was so funny - i laughed.jpg
File:FISHSTICKS.png
File:Kanye West prez meme - Kanye In The House tv show.jpg
File:Yeezy Season Approaching - one.jpg|YEEZY SEASON APPROACHIN'
File:Kanye West - On-a-scale-of-kanye-to-kanye-how-r-u-27679628.png
File:Evanyelion.png
</gallery>|}}

==See Also==
*[[BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD]]
*[[George Bush doesn't care about black people]]
*[[Hunter Fyffe]]
*[[Imma Let You Finish]]
*[[Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger]]
*[[Niggerjack]]
*[[Twatter/KanyeWest]]
*[[2020 Presidential Elections]]
*[[Nick Fuentes]] and [[Milo Yiannopoulos]] - The two men who he hooked up with after he sperged out.

{{Rap}}
{{politics}}
{{indie}}
{{afro}}
{{jewseries}}
{{faggotry}}

{{Timeline|Featured article July 10 and 11, [[2020]]|[[Operation Restoration]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Kevin Mann]]}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Now November 3 & 4, [[2022]]|[[Luka Magnotta]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Serbia]]}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Now December 3 & 4, [[2022]]|[[AIDS]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG]]}}

[[Category:People|West,Kanye]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:2008]]
[[Category:2020]]
[[Category:2022]]

Wizardchan

2025-02-03T04:58:17Z

Stooge: Corrected the template.

{|style="{{gradlinear|white|#FA6|to=bottom}}; border-radius:10px; width: 70%; color: #FF6600; color:#000000; border: 2px solid #FF6600;margin:0.5em auto; box-shadow: 0 0 5px #777; vertical-align:middle;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"
| style="height:90px; width:100px; font-size:16pt; vertical-align:middle;" | [[File:{{{file|Elliot_Selfie_(25).jpg}}} |75px|link={{{link|Elliot Rodger}}} ]]

| style="height:90px; width:700px; font-size:16pt; vertical-align:middle; padding-right:0.5em;" |
The subject of this article contains [[Virgin|virgins]] [[Chris chan|with rage]].
|}
<noinclude>[[Category:Notice Templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

[[image:R9k-normie-describes-wizardchan.png|framed|center|r9k normie describes wizardchan]]

{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=Wizardchan|imageboard_logo=[[File:Wizchan logo.png]]|date_founded=Jul 8, 2012 (old) [https://who.is/domain-history/wizardchan.org], Dec 23, 2014 (new) [https://who.is/domain-history/wizchan.org] |major_boards= [[b/|/b/]], /wiz/, /dep/ |epic_win=None|homepage=[http://wizchan.org Wizardchan]|right}}

The internet has always served as a place for the [[fat]], [[lazy]], and [[autistic|socially inept]] to call [[basement|home]]. However, with the emergence of [[social networking sites]] sites and the internet becoming more popular, this same group had retreated back into their [[hugbox|hugboxes]]. Most might assume that certain boards on [[4chan]] served as the perfect echo chamber for the socially retarded. However, there was a minority group who felt left out because they were too pathetic even for 4chan and created their own chan where the spergs can roam freely without any mean comments towards them. Thus, Wizardchan was created.

'''"Wizardchan"''' is a chan specifically for [[Permavirgin|permavirgins]] over thirty who in some instances brag to one another about having no job or friends, still living with their parents and serious suicide discussions.

== History of Wizardchan ==
<center>{{frame|
{{cg|Wizardchan history threads from Wizchan.org|Gallery00|center|<gallery perrow=5>|<gallery>
File:WizHist.png|The Wizardchan History thread
File:WizAdm.png|Wizardchan Admin diagram
File:AdmHist1.png|The Admin History thread pt.1
File:AdmHist2.png|The Admin History thread pt.2
<gallery perrow=5>|<gallery>
</gallery>}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center> 

=== Normalfags conquering the home of the wizards ===
As stated before, there were quite a few boards on 4chan that spergs, losers and [[fedora]] [[neckbeard]]s considered to be THEIR home. Places like [[jp/|/jp/]] (the board for Japanese culture and media), [[a/|/a/]] (the board for anime and manga) and [[R9k|/r9k/]] (the board for frustrated and depressed singles) became home to many [[NEET|NEETs]] and [[virgins]] of 4chan.

However, around 2010 4chan and "Anonymous" got more and more attention and mainstream media coverage. Media-friendly moralfags with Guy Fawkes masks got fame for operations like [[Project Chanology]], AnonOps, [[Operation Payback]] and Occupy Wallstreet. Suddenly more people knew about "the hacker collective Anonymous" and wanted to participate, which led to them finding 4chan and starting shitposting there. Many of these newfags had nothing in common with the typical 4chan userbase or chan culture at all because they were moralfags motivated by the media-whoring moralfags they saw on TV.
After a few of those operations and media coverage, everybody and their moms knew about 4chan and wanted to be part of it.

=== Creation of Wizardchan ===
Many of the old NEET-KV spergs and fedoras on 4chan became [[butthurt|disenchanted]] because of these newfags and their constant shitposting on all of THEIR boards. They were convinced that 4chan was finally overrun by [[NORPS]] (or normalshits / normalscum / normies as they call them) and they decided they needed to form their own board, free of those cancerous newfags. An alleged 4channer and /r9k/ regular who would later become known as "Keivi" was the one who came up with the idea of "Wizardchan". So Wizardchan was born around July 2012 to give NEETs, jobless weeaboos, and [[waifu]]fags a new non-normie-infected place to call their exclusive home. The chan was named after a Japanese internet joke that says when a male virgin crosses his 30th anniversary, he will become a wizard and gain [[Harry_Potter|magical powers]].
[[File:Wiz1Anniv.png|right|thumb||Wizardchan's first anniversary]]
Wizardchan was supposed to be an imageboard for male virgins by male virgins. Unfortunately, Keivi was [[stupid|not skilled enough]] to run a website like this and he also [[luser|did not have the money]] so he needed a partner for the [[buttsecks|technical and financial aspect]]. This is where "[[faggot|Mr. Pacific]]" joined. Mr. Pacific set up the imageboard and became the first admin of Wizardchan and Keivi became the one and only moderator. Mr. Pacific was absent for most of the time and was only involved in occasional site upgrades and updates. He also installed an IRC where productive discussions were held about chan improvements and moderator related stuff. Keivi created the rules and the site logo, monitored and janitored the postings, banned shitposters and answered improvement suggestions on the internal /meta/ board. In the beginning, /wiz/ was the only board, later /v9k/ was added as a containment board for all the depressive threads that were formerly posted on /wiz/. Oldfags from this era claim that the post quantity was very small at that time but the quality of the postings was [[O RLY|phenomenal]]. Also, oldfags claim that Keivi was a perfect mod who strictly enforced rules.

Around 2013, it was revealed that Mr. Pacific was an alleged drug-dealing, homosexual furfag who lost his mana and was not interested in running the site anymore. He was no NEET anymore and became an accountant. Keivi found a new admin called "Copypaste" (today known as '''Hotwheels''' from [[8chan]]) and oldfags claim that this is where many new, immature, under 30 years old virgins (like Glaive who would later become the admin) joined and incepted Wizardchan's downfall.

=== Copypaste "ruining" Wizardchan ===
[[File:Wizardchan suicide hotline.png|thumb|The post that [[That Really Rustled My Jimmies|rustled their jimmies]]]]
As described before, Keivi hired Copypaste (Powerword: Frederick Brennan. Now known as [[8ch.net|Hotwheels]]), a 19 year old [[midget]] in a [[cripple|wheelchair]] as the new admin of Wizardchan.
After copypaste took over Wizardchan, he introduced the new rule that participation on the IRC channel was mandatory for all staff members. Keivi was not a fan of this rule and opposed it, but as he was not skilled enough to run the site, there was nothing he could do about it. Later, Keivi was officially removed from the staff by copypaste, based on the ground that Keivi was absent in the IRC discussions. On July 26th, 2013, Keivi, the founder of Wizardchan created [http://steamcommunity.com/groups/wizardchan#announcements/detail/2038162099566855203 a blog] about his current issues with how copypaste was administering Wizardchan. Among his complaints was the introduction of the new [[b/|/b/]] board, the site’s [[IRC]] becoming more integral part of the site, the bastardization of his original rules, and the “unchecked normalfaggotry". Oldfags claim that this era was the time when many normies started infiltrating Wizardchan and driving the quality of the chan down. It all correlated with copypaste's administration style. Keivi went on to say that the new admin was turning Wizardchan into “a hangout for normalfags like most other chans” and only cared about the quantity of the posts and not the quality.
Copypaste also got very unpopular when he decided to give all macro images that were uploaded a "Wizardchan" tag in the name. Wizards argued that this was flagrant attention-whoring.

However, at that time Copypaste on the other site claimed that he legally bought the chan from Keivi, that Keivi still hangs out within their IRC and that he did nothing wrong.
Both sides of the argument delved into calling each other “dang dirty normals". As Keivi was known as a broke cunt unable to start the chan, it is assumed that Copypaste was not lying about buying the site.
Keivi's influence on Wizardchan stopped here but some oldfags are still communicating via email with him. He claims that he is still a virgin and sometimes contacts the staff for giving them advise and support.

More drama plagued the chan, this time between Copypaste and the users. The board’s /v9k/, their /r9k/ knockoff board for wizards with sads, took a severely depressing turn. The posts went from depressive stuff about their family and life to considering becoming [[an hero]] and contemplating [[No|if their lives were worth living]]. Copypaste saw the trend of posts and posted a link at the top of board linking to Suicide Help Hotlines to prevent some users from suicide. Of course, the users weren’t going to take this new change lightly. They complained on threads about how Copypaste was a normalshit. Despite copypaste's efforts, the quantity of suicide posts on /v9k/ did not decrease much.

=== Copypaste loses his Mana ===
[[File:Copypaste and gf.jpg|thumb|left|Copypaste with the [[whore|succubus]] in question]]
[[File:Hiotwheelzshit.png|thumb|right|300px|The official thread on Wizardchan where Copypaste revealed what happened]]
Wizardchan's userbase was already unhappy with their new admin copypaste for various reasons (described before) but what followed, was worse than anything wizards could have ever imagined.

Around December 2013 in Wizardchan's [[IRC]], Copypaste stumbled upon a [[woman|gazelle]] in her late twenties and started chatting with her. So much for the whole [[No women on the internet|"No Girls Allowed"]] rule. The <s>Danish</s> [[Southern]] woman that Copypaste cybered with flew all the way from <s>[[Denmark]]</s> [[Georgia]] to [[New York]] to meet up with him and fuck him. When faced with the ultimate dilemma of his imaginary wizard apprentice status and the chance for him to finally get some [[pussy]], he chose the latter and fucked the Danish woman several times the same day he met her.

Later he went on to share his experience first on Wizardchan's for staff-only internal IRC where he revealed what happened and had some serious discussions with the staff about the succubus in question.
Copypaste saved the whole transscript and later uploaded it on his new imageboard 8chan. It can be accessed at https://www.8ch.net/whore.txt and he claims only oldfags from that time know about this secret link.
A backup link with the screencapped log was uploaded on imgur (https://imgur.com/ZIVVI4c) just in case 8chan goes down or wants to take it down for any reason.
After the IRC discussion he officially started a thread on one of Wizardchan's user forums where he revealed to be a traitor and instantly got globally banned on Wizardchan. In his posting he claimed that it was not worth it and that the only way for Wizards is the path of the Wizard and that succubi who show interest in Wizards are mentally ill.

The wizards that he ruled over [[Nerd Rage|could not believe the news.]] [[Irony|How could a crippled midget who ran a site for embittered virgins get laid easily when they could not for years?]] [[Nerd Rage|In typical wizard fashion,]] they continued to rage about Cripplekike's betrayal (they called him like this from now on) and about those dreaded normalshits that he took with him to Wizardchan in 2013. Even a month after this incident Wizardchan users were still paranoid over the possible infiltration of normies. If an autistic crippled midget can lose his virginity, what was stopping the rest of them from losing theirs when some random [[whore|succubus]] or [[Homosexual|man]] shows the slightest bit of interest in them? Wizards lay awake at night under their cum-stained comforters wondering what set them apart from the "normals" on the dreaded /r9k/ board. Much like online [[Social Justice|other]] [[furries|fringe]] groups, Wizardchan users constantly participated in the drama. Users began discussing getting rid of parts of the chan like the IRC, which they believed was the root of the problem. They were paranoid of their fellow wizards and of the administrators of the site that ruled over them.
{{quote|It's also just a shame there are people here who just this site as a pity party until some random whore might decide to tug your junk one day.|One anonymous user describing [[at least 100|98%]] of the chan}}

=== Copypaste's girl gets mad after breakup ===
<center>{{fv|Copypaste|background-color:#B8B8B8;|font-weight:bold;|
<youtube>QfaWJRnVz4M</youtube>}}</center>
[[File:Devotees.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The devotee thread on 8chan's /b/ where Hotwheels regretted his worst error]]
As it turns out, [[Captain Obvious|the girl that Copypaste lost his virginity to turned out to be batshit insane]] [[weeaboo]]. Following a bitter breakup that could rival an episode of [[Jerry Springer]], Copypaste found himself single again. Copypaste also revealed that his ex-girlfriend also had a fetish for virgins and regularly [[schlick|masturbated]] to Wizchan's /v9k/ board and the [[Loveshy]] forums. So Copypaste's ex is currently lurking the /v9k/ board, looking for her next willing victim and [[BDSM|schlicking to their misery]].

For what it's worth, Copypaste [[Special Olympics|accomplished more within a few months than most wizards would accomplish within their entire lifetimes.]] Despite being a crippled midget, he managed to fuck a whore and invoke the butthurt of 10 virginal NEETS in the process. Shine on, you delightful [[midget|little elf]]. The true wizard is you!

Later in December 2014 when 8chan got very popular after m00t's gamergate sellout, someone on /b/ started a thread about devotee girlfriends. The discussion was about women who love their crippled men unconditionally. Hotwheels joined the discussion and shared his experiences with his devotee girlfriend and how it was the worst thing he did in his life.

=== Another new admin ===
[[File:Glaiveunmasked.png|thumb|right|Is this rather rapeable young man with no acne and obesity problems the new admin?]]
Copypaste left Wizardchan around December 2013 / January 2014 after his betrayal, changed his official name to "Hotwheels" and concentrated on his own new imageboard [[8chan]] that he started in October 2013.
However, post-betrayal Wizardchan users just called him "Cripplejew", "Cripplekike" or "(Chad) Thunderwheels".
When [[GamerGate]] began and [[m00t]] sold out [[4chan]] for some cash from [[Gawker]] and [[herpes]] from the [[tumblr]] staff's throwaway [[pussy]] who was working there, something called "[[m00t's GamerGate Sellout]]" happened. All the chantards who were sick of m00t and his [[sellout]] faggotry that has been going on for years declared 4chan dead, moved to 8chan and hailed Hotwheels as their new king.

It is assumed that Copypaste sold Wizardchan to the new admin "Anachronos" (who was allegedly a Puerto Rican) and that "Glaive" (who came to Wizardchan around the same time as Copypaste) was promoted from staff to new admin. Wizards were not happy with Glaive as their new admin because he came around the same time like "Cripplekike" and he was already known for several IRC faggotries. Generally, wizards now blamed Wizardchan's downfall on its IRC's, which was implemented by cripplekike and his gang that came around 2013.

Wizards assumed that Glaive must be a normie just like cripplekike was and they feared that he will be the next admin to betray them. Also Anachronos was a very mysterious fellow as nobody has ever seen him and the only way people could contact him was his email address that he answered sometimes and sometimes not. He was also known for trolling Wizardchan or disappearing for months and then suddendly showing up again and later. When Wizardleaks happened, he was revealed to have a huge ego (called himself Archmage Anachronos).
Staff members of wizardchan claimed it was very complicated to run the site when the actual owner was not even around.

Around April it was found out that Glaive had a CWCki account (only normalfags hang out there) and that he was even an active mod there. Later an alleged picture of him leaked around Fall 2014. The picture that allegedly depicted Glaive displayed a fit, tight-looking, handsome [[twink|young man]] with short brown hair and brown eyes, good jaw line and no acne or obesity problems. Wizards could not believe that what they called "the archetype of a chad" was, in fact, the ruler of their wizard [[hugbox|sanctuary]] ... AGAIN after only a few months. Later rumors went around that Glaive could technically never become a non-wizard as allegedly a [[lol|Pitbull bit him in the genital region when he was a kid and he lost his penis]] during this incident. However Glaive stayed the "Chadmin" for wizards no matter what from now on.

=== The [[Zoe Quinn]] Affair ===
[[File:sadzoe.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The nice people on the internet are helping Zoe by trolling her to help her relate.]]
Around summer 2014 when Zoe's [[retarded]] "Depression Quest" game got rejected on Greenlight it seemed like that was it. But someone on [[Chris Chan|the CWCwiki forum]] decided to have a bit of fun, so he posted about how Zoe is a faggot on Wizardchan and then pretended to be a [[Concerned Mother|concerned citizen]] and linked her to his own post.

Zoe took the opportunity to claim that she was being harassed by them and that one of them called her house and [[fap|fapped]] into the receiver. [[No one]] can be sure if it was actually someone from WC who called her (since she gets these calls all the time anyway) or, if in fact anyone had called her at all. But that didn't stop her from getting ass-pats from [[Anita Sarkeesian]] and Dina from [[Mighty No. 9]] (whom, incidentally, are both sleeping with the people responsible for their internet success). It also didn't stop several news sites from running the story without doing a single moment of research (although she was probably fucking at least some of them) or her [[twitter]] followers from [[butthurt]] raiding the site [[white knight|in defense of their damsel in distress]].

'''BUT WAIT!''' Was it really them? Fucking no. About two months after [[GamerGate]] started, Hotwheels, the admin of [[8chan]] and formally of Wizardchan did [http://knowyourmeme.com/blog/interviews/qa-with-fredrick-brennan-of-8chan an interview] on [[Know Your Meme]] where he revealed that an IP check proves that Zoe was the one posting threats against herself on Wizardchan prior to the attack.
The [[irony]] in all of this is that most of the users on Wizardchan ''actually'' have [[depression]] because they are [[fat]], [[Wizard|kissless virgins in their 30's]] who [[basement dweller|live in their mom's basement]]. They are in fact ''so'' depressed '''that the site had to post a link on the top of the page to a suicide prevention hotline.'''
So they were fucking with people who have depression over a game about the hardships of depression. Classy.

<center>{{frame|
{{cg|Exposed!|Gallery1|center|<gallery perrow=6>|<gallery>
File:Zoe Quinn HpTwnYl.jpg
File:Zoe Quinn senL22y.jpg
File:Zoe Quinn HhxhwXR.jpg
File:Zoe Quinn qLvDTHC.png
File:Zoe Quinn moFXvoa.jpg
File:Moremorezoe3.png|Was Zoe herself one of the people who made posts calling to harass her?
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center> 

=== Devin Faraci Wants to Make Them [[an hero|Kill Themselves]] ===
[[File:DevinFaraciYearbook.jpg|thumb|right|Devin Faraci's yearbook photo.]]

During September 2014, respectable gaming journalist "[[faggot|Devin Faraci]]" (the same [[Devin Faraci]] who, at the beginning of [[GamerGate]], compared people who play video games to [[ISIS]] and got trolled relentlessly for it) discovered Wizardchan and wanted to bully them a bit. He decided to step up his efforts in trying to ruin his own "career" (if you can even call it being a guest on [[jewtube|Screen Junkies]]) by posting on twitter, on national [[suicide]] prevention day, about Wizardchan and convincing his followers to go fuck with them and troll the shit out of their site.

<center>
{{frame|{{Template:scrollpic|Wizrd devin faraci.png|600|250|'''#1 Journalist'''}}|border=blue|background=white|margin=auto}}
</center>

=== Death of Wizardchan ===
After m00ts gamergate sellout and the constant gamergate related drama got stirred up a lot, Wizardchan got more attention from normies than ever. There was a rumor about a woman who was a regular at /v9k/ and often masturbated to the sadness she witnessed on /v9k/. However as Fall was going on, normalfag and failed normie threads were more and more common. Many faggots from r9k also liked to troll on v9k but their IP's were soon banned. Wizardchan's userbase got paranoid and started witchhuntings whenever they thought a normie infiltrator has been spotted.

Wizardchan started recruiting mods in Fall 2014, what was not very clever because they had huge media attention after gamergate and many trolls/normies applied for moderator positions during that time. A posting of an alleged wizarchan moderator was found on some internet forum where he claimed that he would be banned from Wizardchan if they knew he was in fact a normie. Generally during this time the quality of the content decreased and many Wizards believed their last bastion and sanctuary was lost to the normies.

On December 22nd 2014, just days before the most depressive holiday for any wizard out there, Wizardchan.org finally went down. Wizards at first thought it was some kind of maintenance or pranking but the site did not return. It is not sure why exactly it went down but it is believed that the admin Anachronos was bored of the constant drama and has not paid for the servers/domain and thus it was shut down by the hosting company. Another theory said that the admin was paying the servers in advance and somehow got homeless and a poorfag and could not keep up paying anymore and died somewhere in the streets before he could notify the wizards about the issue. The whereabouts or fate of Anachronos the admin (allegedly a puerto rican BTW) were completely unknown. His last known posting was about buying a suicide bag so it is possible that he already offed himself a long time ago.

Interesting fact was, that the night before the site went down, a picture of glaive (one of the top moderators at that time) was leaked where he was posing for a picture with a woman on what appeared to be a party wearing a mask. Wizards got mad because of this and lost the last ounce of trust they had for galive (prior to this rumors circulated already that glaive was a normie). It is assumed that many wizards commited suicide around this time because of the combined effects of glaive beeing exposed as a normie and their home going down on the most depressive time of the year.

So Wizardchan was down and Wizards did not know where to go now. Ironically the GNAA created a /wizardchan/ board on 8chan. Wizards were searching on google for hints about their former home and found the 8chan board. Once they discovered they were only trolled by the GNAA, they created new wizard boards on 8chan. Ironically, the same Wizards that hated Hotwheels the pimp admin for his betrayal were now again under his rule. Many wizards asked if someone knew what was going on but nobody had any idea. A staff-internal Wizardchan thread discussion from late October 2014 leaked where mods were worried that Anachronos seems to have dissappeared 3 months ago. He was not present in the IRC anymore and he was not responding to Emails. Staff also contacted Hotwheels later to ask if he had any idea but Hotwheels also denied.
Nobody was able to contact Anachronos or find out what happened so the old moderator team decided to create a new home called "Wizchan.org" as the successor of Wizardchan.

<center>{{frame|
{{cg|When Wizardchan went down (postings from various 8chan backup boards)|Gallery11|center|<gallery perrow=7>|<gallery>
File:Wizdown.png|the error message
File:Wizgone.jpg|it's gone...
File:Gone4ever.jpg|and it won't come back
File:Ownedagain.jpg|Owned by the pimp admin again
File:Where2go.jpg|where to go now?
File:AnaMssng.png|What happened to Anachronos? Leaked mod-only discussion thread about him missing.
File:Panicc.jpg|panic...
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center> 

=== Wizardleaks ===
On 8chan's wizchan a former moderator claimed he will leak the official Wizardchan moderator guideline by Christmas if Wizardchan stays down and nothing happens until then. Christmas happened and there was no posting yet but on 26th of December 2014 OP finally delivered after more than 24hours of delay and offered to answer questions from wizards. Wizards liked the leak very much and called it the Wizardleak.
Wizards were quite interested about the inner structures of Wizardcha as they feared it was only a honeypot run by normies to exploit them and make fun of them. Former admin assured that he was still a virgin and that Glaive and Hotwheels were good guys and that he likes working with them but that he disliked Anachronos (no wonder, the guy called himself Archmage Anachronos) and some of the new rules he made.
Many wizards were not very happy about Glaive and did not want a potential new home to be run by moderators of Glaive even if they assured that Glaive will not be involved in the new chan. There were also rumors circulating that the new wizchan.org was hosted on CWCki servers as Glaive was exposed as not only beeing affiliated with the succubus-friendly site CWCki but also having a moderator position there. He even calls himself "Chad Thunderween" on his own profile now and is confirmed for a normie (no matter whether he still has his penis or not). On 24th February 2015 Glaive was promoted as admin on [[Kiwi Farms]] (former CWCki)

<center>{{frame|
{{cg|Wizardleaks|Gallery31|center|<gallery perrow=7>|<gallery>
File:Glaiveleak.png|This picture appeared on Wizardchan the night before it went down
File:Traitors.png|Incredible, Glaive together with the traitor cripplejew!
File:GlaiveCWCki.jpg|Glaive beeing exposed as CWCki faggot by Null on 8chan's backup boards
File:Glaivecwc.jpg|Glaive was now confirmed for normie infiltrator
File:Exmod thread part1.jpg|complete thread screencapped pt1
File:Exmod thread part2.jpg|complete thread screencapped pt2
File:Glaive2.png|glaive is now the admin of [[Kiwi Farms]] (former CWCki)
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center> 

=== Wizardchan successor projects ===
Wizchan (that is run by former Wizardchan moderators) went online on 23rd December 2014, as did Magicchan, coming online hours prior. Magicchan is run by a newfag who came to Wizardchan in September 2014 after the Gamergate drama and he decided to create his alternative board called "Magicchan". He was already known at the old wizardchan and it is known that he created a thread on the old /wiz/ where he asked for names of a potential successor of Wizardchan around October 2014. Names like Maji-chan and Majo-chan were suggested and it is believed that he used this thread as inspiration and already worked on his chan from then on. It was interesting how fast his chan went up, like he had prepared everything in advance and just waited for Wizardchan to go down. Many wizards boycotted wizchan because of the allged Glaive involvement and went to magicchan instead. As the newfag admin of Magicchan seemed not very skilled with image board programming, Hothweels helped him to implement some features on Magicchan. This was leading wizards to assumptions that the newfag admin was not competent for the position and there were even thoughts that Hotwheels orchestrated a conspiracy to take over Wizardchan. They now wanted another new channel because they were not OK with Hotwheels helping MoD (Master of Debate, the Magicchan admin) to improve their new home.

<center>{{frame|
{{cg|Wizardchan successor projects|Gallery14|center|<gallery perrow=6>|<gallery>
File:Splitted.jpg|they could not decide on just 1 board...
File:Painfulchoice.jpg|painful choice
File:Conspiracyy.jpg|this must have been a conspiracy
File:Wizchan.org.png|Wizchan.org home page. Note the "Wizardchan" banner.
File:Magicchan.jpg|Magicchan.org home page. The design is simple and ugly "to make normies go away"
File:Warlockchan.jpg|Warlockchan.org home page. The "hardcore" version of Wizchan
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center> 

These issues lead to the creation of several other shitty chans like Merlinchan or 8chan's own /v9k/ board that were all trolled by various pedo shitposters and 4chan's /r9k/. Here is an incomplete list of new wizard pages that were created after the death of wizardchan to ensure the already small userbase is split even further: 
*/wizardchan/ - owned by GNAA trolls
*/wizard/ - the alternative board to wizardchan after finding out GNAA owns it
*/wiz/ - pretty much dead
*/wizardry/ - another backup board
*/wizchan/ - the official board before wizchan.org went up
*/v9k/ - Wizardchan's /v9k/ board
*magicchan.org
*wizchan.org
*merlinchan.org
*virginchan (not officialy as they allow girls too)
*warlockchan.org (came in Feb 2015, dissappeared and came back in March without the old posts and rules)

Hothweels however made a statement that he is OK with having all those refugee wizard boards stay at 8chan until they find/create a new home but he added that they will most likely not like him very much because of the events in the past. He was right. Many wizards posted how desperate they were that "Thunderwheels" was now owning them again and how their lives are now finally meaningless. Eventually postings on 8chan's wizard boards stopped after a while and wizards moved to '''wizchan''' or '''magicchan''' and had to get over the uncomfortable topics (wizchan probably beeing run by glaive, magicchan allowing Hotwheels to post) and as soon as the boards started, everyone went to the /meta/ boards and tried to make the mods implement his own definition of a true wizardchan into the rules.

For a few days every chan was claiming to be the better one (dividing the userbase further allthough most browsed both chans) and there were some polls about which chan was better. Wizchan has more postings while wizards from Magicchan claim to have less normies lurking and less postings but better quality. Both boards renamed their depression boards that were called v9k in the old days. Wizchan calls it's depression board /dep/ and Magicchan calls its depression board /sad/. Wizchan users post as "Anonymous" while Magicchan users post as "Anonymage" like in the old Wizardchan. Magicchan has no functionning SSL features (and did not have it in the beginning) but Wizchan has had SSL support since day one.

On '''Wizchan''' you will get banned for a lot of shit you would have gotten away with on wizardchan. If you go there and make a long, thought intensive post about being lonely, about days going faster and faster as your introspection fades into a buzz and you spend all day on image boards reading the same posts, making the same arguments, running into the same metathread, about your parents slowly getting more and more angry at you, and about looking forward only to a certain occasional meal, you will probably be banned for violating rule 3. The new mods are more interested in the idea of wizardry as a philosophical mindset than they are in the well being of wizards. It stopped being about a place for virgins to talk without normalfags breaking through walls to tell them to be themselves or to never give up, and it became about a philosophy where the enlightened man avoids sexual relationships or even friends to pursue a more meaningful existence. This has a lot to do with people crying on /meta/ to ban 3D pornography and anything associated with feelfaggotry and other shit. It feels like a bunch of schizoids who hate human weakness took over all of that place, even /dep/, and everybody's so much more uptight now because of it.

Many old threads from the former Wizardchan have been restarted on the new chans. Wizchan for example got the anime club thread (an anime watching club started on Wizardchan in December 2014) and Magicchan got the monster girl thread. Many other threads like the writing and drawing threads were also restarted after a few days.

== 2015 - Wizchan.org and Magicchan.org ==

=== Helena N. incident ===
[[File:HellenaN.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Seriously, they really made a whole fucking news article about it...]]
In Early January 2015 while wizards where still wondering what exactly happened, something interesting was noticed. The fromer site wizardchan.org was now redirecting to the personal blog of a girl web developer called Helena N. (name censored). Wizards were surprised and thought it was a prank from their admin Anachronos and decided to ask the girl herself. Wizards created twitter profiles and asked her if she knew anything and she claimed that she had no idea. In the thread on wizchan many wizards showed their disrespect for the filthy succubus who dared to hijack their former home address and some idiots also were dumb enough to insult her openly on twitter, ensuring more media attention. She researched a bit and soon she found out about wizardchan and the thread where wizards were disrespecting her. She answered that it was not her fault, that she was not responsible for the situation and that she wanted an apology for all the insults.

After a few hours some SJWs informed gawker media about this (or gawker is lurking wizchan and waiting for drama to write about), and we all know that gawker media's favourite news subject is: muhsoggynee. Sam Biddle, the biggest faggot of Gawker media felt his white knight spirit was triggered and decided to make a whole news article on gawker about this fucking unimportant internet drama. He published the article and many normies around the world now officially knew the new page where all the wizards go. In the comment section of the article normies and SJW have called everyone to go to wizchan and to troll the shit out of the page and wizards were now in fear they would again lose their homes to normies. However mods banned shitposters quickly and there was no major drama anymore. Helena was not very pleased that gawker made a news article about her without asking her first and she apparently deleted her blog after this incident as it is not accessible anymore.

<center>{{frame|
{{cg|Helena N drama - Screencaps from the original Wizchan meta thread|Gallery65|center|<gallery perrow=5>|<gallery>
File:Helena1.jpg|Thread got opened by a worried wizard
File:Helena2.jpg|WTF is going on? Is Anachronos trolling us?
File:Twittquest.jpg|Wiznog creates fake twitter and asks her
File:Helena3.jpg|Insults begin
File:Helena4.jpg|Paranoia intensifies
<gallery perrow=5>|<gallery>
File:Helena5.jpg|Gawker is watching you
File:Helena6.jpg|More insults and alleged false flags
File:Helena7.jpg|Helena wants an apology
File:Helenamad.jpg|Original twitter posting
File:Helena8.jpg|Wizards hope for damage control
</gallery>}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center> 

=== Warlockchan ===
Somewhere around early February 2015 a new wizardchan clone was created, as wizards are always upset about something involving their chan. The new chan was called warlockchan and it was designed to be a even more aggressive version of wizardchan where depressive threads like the ones from /v9k/ and other types of faggotry were not allowed. Some advertised the chan on wizchan but got banned quickly for it. However currently the page can't be accessed again and it has to be assumed that the chan is already dead after not even a month. A huge critic point was that Warlockchan had tons of rules while girls/women were allowed. Because of this many wizards assumed that Warlockchan might be in fact a /cow/ or CWCKI honey pot.

Update: As of March 9th 2015 it appears that Warlockchan is online again but the old threads and the rules page are gone. The rules might have been deleted to prevent the drama that occured the last time. The official credo is that if you belong there you can be yourself and won't get banned and else admin will ban you.

=== Sluthate VS. Kiwi Farms Drama ===
In March 2015 The webpages Sluthate.com (former PUAhate.com, got renamed after it was exposed as the former home of [[Elliot Rodger|le supreme gentleman]]) and [[Kiwifar.ms]] (former CWCki) got involved in a major internet drama. [[Kiwi Farms]] already had a Sluthate thread since November 2014 but it was not really active up until mid March 2015 when a few Sluthaters started to raid the thread and stir up drama. Later some Sluthater doxed Glaive, the admin of Kiwi Farms (and former admin of Wizardchan) and dumped his dox on March 17th in one of their threads. In this thread posters are advocating for calling to his university and complain about Glaive's (former) relations with misogynistic websites and of course Wizardchan will be mentionned and getting unwanted attention once again. Kiwi Farmers got mad at this and contributed to filling their Sluthate thread (together with the Sluthate raiders) to an incredible amount of over 540 pages (previously 50 pages from November 2014 until mid March 2015) in only a few days. Mostly Kiwi Farmers are attacking Sluthate for letting an alleged pedophile make postings without beeing banned and how they are lowlifes because they are invading Kiwi Farms while Sluthate calls Kiwi Farms crazy for beeing obsessed with Chris-chan and that they are in fact very similar to Sluthate (filled with low lifes). Archived threads: 
*Kiwi Farms Megathread on Sluthate: http://sluthate.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=71615&sid=f8535a3bbf2cc74eced0867d48f2a58e Archived: https://archive.is/IFjZm
*Sluthate Megathread on Kiwi Farms: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sluthate-com.6192/ Archived: http://archive.is/CM4Lo

=== Germanwings crash March 2015 ===
After the Germanwings plane crash of 2015, rumors circulated on Wizchan.org how the alleged suicide pilot was in fact a virgin with rage, just like supreme gentlefaggot, and that he killed himself and 149 other people because of beeing a virgin. While this discussion was going, many wizchanners gave their approval for this action in 2 threads, and celebrated how he set a new high score in killing the normies that they hate so much. Later this virgin with rage theory was debunked, and it was revealed that he was in fact some emo fag dropped by his girlfriend, and probably depressed and suicidal because of it (totally r9k tier). Archived threads: 
*https://archive.is/n9eGI
*https://archive.is/0BeiK

===Full paranoia===
Wizardchanners were always known for their eternal paranoia when it comes to normalfags, chads and "failed normies" stalking them. As a result of this madness they went full sharia law since summer 2015. 
It all started after it was revealed that 8chad's /cow/ was raiding wizchan after they went low on other lolcows to milk. Alleged /cow/boys spammed various subtile subversion threads mostly revolving around [[nazi|stormfaggotry]], "rare pepe", "real wizards do/are..." threads or the much hated subtile bragging that makes the wizzas especially mad. You can easily try this out for yourself by going onto any of their boards and making a thread how you have no idea what shit to waste your money from your 6 figure engineering job on and the poorfags there will instantly [[triggered|accuse you of bragging about your affluence]].
As a direct result of the assumed normalfag and /cow/ invasion during summer [[socialism|wizchan moderation]] decided to [[butthurt|ban all]] pepe and wojack image macros. Consequences will never be the same. Even today many wizchanners still believe there is a normalfag conspiracy going on against wizchan users when it's in fact their own paranoia and accusing anyone and anything for beeing a normie that [[cancer|ruins their board]].

== The Wizardchan Userbase ==
[[File:Wizardchan mascot.png|thumb|So oppressed]]
It couldn’t be stressed enough that every single user on Wizardchan is a friendless, virginal NEET who [[Internet is serious business|takes the internet too seriously]]. Some of the weeaboo members like to refer to themselves as [[Hikikomori]], despite the fact that the actual Hikikomori from [[Japan|animuland]] contend that they have it worse than their Western counterparts.

Every single member of Wizardchan barely gets out of their house and barely speaks to their family members who support their parasitic lifestyles. In fact, there are posts on the chan of users bemoaning on how they are forced to socialize with their own family members and have to go to the store to get milk. Some of the more bizarre posts feature wizards discussing how they starved themselves for two days when distant relatives came to visit them, [[Disgusting|how they would piss out of their windows, how they have a dirty cumrag pile that they didn’t even bother to throw away, and even how they would have a three year old shit stain in their bathroom.]] This is not an exaggeration either.

The average wizard claims that they are doing more with their time than the average person while collecting [[welfare]] checks or mooching off of relatives. They claim that they have more time to read books, learn [[moonspeak]] from watching their favorite [[animu]] shows ([[Pixyteri|as if no]] [[Wapanese|one has heard]] [[Narutard|that before]], amirite?), and various other hobbies that they claim to spend so much time. However, their fantasy life is far from the reality they live in each and every day. The average Wizard spends his days:

• [[Fapping]] 
• Watching cartoons and anime 
• Browsing chans 
• Playing vidya games 
• Eating [[ramen]] 
• Sleeping 

=== Wizards Only - No Normalscum ===
[[File:Typical Wizardchan user.jpg|thumb|Those dang dirty normal people!]]
[[File:Virginpride.png|left|thumb|Wizards claim to be proud virgins]]
[[File:Wizchan rules.png|thumb|The rules of the site]]
Like with most other chans, the folks at Wizardchan have their [[meme|terminology]]. “Borrowing” an old chan joke about 30 year old virgins, someone who is a friendless 30 year old or older virgin is a “wizard.” Anyone who is at least 20 but younger than 30 and is a friendless virgin is a “wizard [[bitch|apprentice]].” A friendless 60 year old virgin is considered an [[Final boss|Archwizard]]. Having sex is disregarded, referenced to as "a wizard/apprentice losing his mana" and overall it is expected from Wizards to be proud of their virgin status. Anyway, the possibility of one hanging out with individuals who are old enough to be their children or grandchildren who hasn’t died as a result of [[diabetes]] or [[suicide]] is pretty rare. Almost as rare as the possibility 60 year old that hasn’t at least lost their virginity by spending their welfare check on [[crack whore|crack whores]].

They like to imagine that they are great powerful wizards like in their animu shows and as a result they all agree that they all share a common nemesis. Their nemesis is all of the [[normal people]] in the world or as they called them; “Normalshits”. Like all of the other [[special snowflake|special snowflakes]] on the internet, [[Privilege Olympics|they claim to be oppressed by normal people on a daily basis.]] How are they oppressed? They are told by normal people to go get a job, go outside, to go get a girlfriend or a boyfriend, are stared at every time they leave their rooms, and the worse of all; They are told to “just be [themselves].” [[LOL|A tragic situation, truly.]]

While most consider a wizard’s problems to be completely [[First World Problems|trivial]], they consider themselves to be constantly under attack from normal people who want them to contribute to society and they even praise people like Cho Seung-hui for taking out a few normalshits that would’ve oppressed them. Due to this, the admin had created rules against users discussing or even alluding to the fact that they have social life, romantic relationships, and especially sexual relationships. [[BAWW|Those were the reasons why they left the normalshits on 4chan in the first place.]] Anyone who breaks these rules gets [[banhammered]] in an instant. Also, despite not being written explicitly in the rules, anyone who admits to being a woman is banned. Because [[Truth|the only legal adults who are still virgins are men]].

Another important thing is that >tfw_no_gf threads or any threads about desiring intimity, friends or any type of compaignonship are disregarded as beeing a "failed normie".
Wizards will then ask the thread opener / poster to go back to "4chad" and "r9gay" or "leddit". Another term that is used often is "Chad Thundercock" along with the female version "Stacie Thundercunt". These terms refer to the Archetype of athletic, successful and socially skilled people who were often the bullies that ruined the wizard's childhood. "Thunderwheels" is a special version of these terms and only used to address Copypaste/Hotwheels the former admin of Wizardchan who betrayed his fellow wizards.

On Wizardchan people are divided in 4 groups: 
1) Chads (the "cool" boys who get all the girls and good jobs later in life) 
2) Failed normies (people who have a desire to be like the chads and accepted by society but don't have the natural confidence, looks or social skills) 
3) Wizards (in their oppinion the true master race that can withstand the desire of having sex with a "filthy 3DPD succubus" and concentrate on the really important things in life) 
4) Succubi (or scubs, 3DPD - women - in their oppinion all women are filthy whores and inferior to pure and innocent 2D girls from anime and manga 

=== Walking in a Pedo Wonderland ===
Should it come as any surprise that the majority of wizards have an alternative sexuality or a sick fetish of some sort? Closeted [[homosexuals]], [[tranny|crossdressers]], [[zoophiles]], [[babyfurs]], [[Brony|cloppers]], [[lolicon|lolicons]]/[[shotacon|shotacons]], and [[pedophiles]] make up the majority of users on Wizardchan. Ashamed of admitting their kinks in real life, they openly express them on Wizardchan without shame. Here's one such case:

On [[Christmas]] day, after the wizards celebrated the holiday with their [[Son I am disappoint|disappointed parents]], they quickly ran back to their computers to moan about having to socialize with their own families. One anonymous user shared his holiday experience with his [[12 year old girl|11 year old cousin]]. The user told the other users about how he [[incest|felt up on his cousin]] after giving her booze and Benadryl. A couple of wizards advised the OP from going any further with the [[loli|young girl]], but the rest of them sympathized with the OP for they too knew what it was like to lust after a child. As it turned out the OP posts and one of the responses was [[copypasta]] from the [[/jp/]] [https://warosu.org/jp/thread/S11741411#p11741742_5 board on 4chan] and half of the wizardchan posters took the bait.

<center>{{scrollpic|Wizardchan pedos.png|800|300|The thread|}}</center>

The Wizardchan pedo thread was later deleted by mods. Whether they deleted the thread out of embarrassment of their pedophilic users, the rule against discussing sexual history, or the new rule against discussing females in general is unclear. The thread's deletion led to the weekly butthurt from the users. Users quickly made [[:File:Wizard_pedo_thread_aftermath.png|a thread]] asking where the thread went. Some users defended the thread, stating that [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|the thread was more about Christmas than about a guy touching his little cousin.]] Other users whined about the threads deletion. Wizchan users wanted to discuss their pedo fantasies further and wanted to know if the guy molested his cousin. [[Trolled|They didn't realize that it was a ruse all along]] until they checked the [[888chan]] thread on them. Once again, Wizardchan proved their superior intelligence against those dang normalshits on other chan sites.

=== Lolicon/Shotacon Tears ===

{{quote|This is a thankless job, and no moderator or administrator has the obligation to elaborate the justifications of rules and policies, especially when you are addressing a group of troublemakers. And I do not need to apologize to lolicon supporters. They should probably be thanking me that I haven't banned them for bringing the website close to a shutdown.|A Wizardchan admin telling users to fuck themselves.}}

As time has proven yet again, Wizards are some of the most easily upset online users besides furries and Social Justice cows. What set them off this time? One concerned [[troll|citizen]] reported the site to their host for [[Lolicon]]. Due to the site's server being located in [[California]], the admins added Lolicon and [[Shotacon]] to the list of banned content to avoid having the website shut down. Instead of understanding that the admin's hands were tied on the matter, the users chimped out at the admins and whined about the daily "normalfag" persecution that wizards endure on a daily basis. After a while of listening to Wizardchan users cry about how unfair the new rule was and [[US]] laws are, the admin told Wizardchan users to go post their [[Cardcaptor Sakura]] [[Rule 34]] on [[7chan|another chan]] and locked the thread.

Through it all, most of the users' fear of getting [[Partyvan|partyvanned]] are probably justified. Given how most Wizards have less tact than [[MadThad0890]] about their pedo [[Lolicon]] or [[CP]] collection, one can easily imagine the fate of some Wizardchan users' Wizardhood when they meet [[Bubba]] in prison. [[The Booty Warrior]], a widely feared Level 200 warlock, can gain some [[Man points|magic points]] from breaking into the anus of the average Level 5 Wizchan user.

== Gallery ==

<center>{{frame|
{{cg|Collapsegallery|ThatFeelWhen|center|<gallery perrow=6>
File:Wizardchan posters.png|How the rest of the chans [[GTFO|deal with Wizard posts]]
File:Normalfag posters.jpg|How wizardchan deals with dissent from their fellow wizards
File:Wizard afraid of buttons.png| One of the many strange phobias that plague wizards
File:Wizardchan rp chart.jpg|At the end of the day, they're just one big [[roleplay|rp]] circlejerk
File:Wizchan super powers.jpg|Fuck logic, they have their [[autistic]] [[Wiccan]] powers.
File:Wizardchan tranny and tranny enablers.png|Wizardchan admitting to putting on their mothers' bloomers after they put on their [[fedora|wizard hats]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=6>
File:Wizardchan tranny and tranny enablers 2.png
File:Wizchan strawman comic.png| Mad at someone for calling you a [[parasite]]? Create a delusional strawmen comic.
File:Wizardchan on 4chan culture.png|Taking 4chan seriously
File:Independent wizard need no job.png|''I'm an independent wizard that needs no job''
File:Welfare Neet on Wizardchan.png| ''How dare you assume that I live with my parents! I live on welfare, Normalshit!''
File:Typical Wizardchan advice.png|What happens when a wizard gives advice
File:Wizardchan archwizard in training.png
File:Wizardchan condom commercial.png|A wizard getting butthurt at a condom commercial.
File:Wiz chan hates evolution.png| Wizards hate any [[natural selection|scientific theory]] that proves them to be the weakest links in human [[evolution]].
File:Wizardchan nasty.png
File:V9kwalk.png
File:ComputerWizards.jpg
File:Wizardchan_Admin_Copypaste.png
File:Wizardchan_Admin_gf.png
</gallery>}}|border=blue|background=white}}</center> 

== See Also ==

* [[Zoe quinn]] - they "harassed" her
* [[NEET]]
* [[Sluthate]]rs - slightly more functional faggots than wizards, but not by much.
* [[Chan]]
* [[Internet is Serious Business]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Weeaboos]]
* [[Special Snowflake Syndrome]]
* [[Privilege Olympics]]
* [[First World Problems]]
* [[Welfare]]
* [[Chris Harper-Mercer]]

{{Lulcowboard}}
{{GamerGate}}
{{Dying Alone}}
{{Chans}}
{{timeline|Featured article October 16 & 17, [[2014]]|[[Moviebob]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Tom Preston]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]

Silk Road

2025-01-22T06:04:01Z

Stooge:

{{achtung| THE FOUNDER WAS RELEASED THANKS TO [[The Donald|THE DONALD]]}}
{{spoiler|THEY RAN OFF WITH ALL THE SHITCOINS}}

[[File:Silk road vanned.jpg|center|600px]] 
[[Image:Dpr_brb_fbi.png|thumb|300px|[[brb, fbi|BRB, FBI]]. Scratch that, [[buttsex|interagency government BBQ]] at DPR's! The [[ATF]] always brings the booze.]]
[[Image:SilkRoadCap.jpg|thumb|I risked getting [[V&]] for this, so have a good look.]]

The '''Silk Road''' [http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/10/02/us-crime-silkroad-raid-idUSBRE9910TR20131002 was] an online marketplace setup by [[Neckbeard|neckbeard the pirate]], specializing in the buying and selling of illicit [[drugs]]. At one time, there were 2217 drug-related items for sale, in addition to weapons, medical equipment, forgeries, musical instruments and computer parts. Silk Road is run as a [[Tor]] hidden service, pissing off the [[FBI]] to no end. Silk Road launched in February 2011, since providing a haven for [[neckbeard|neckbeards]] who can’t fathom stepping outside and meeting a drug dealer, and also for people who just love having their drugs poisoned. You could buy almost any type of drug imaginable, from [[DXM|cough medicine]] to [[Transsexual|Human Growth Hormone]] to [[heroin]]. There is also an incredibly slow-moving [[forum]], where people talk about how fucked up they are and pretend to know about everything.

Transactions are made using [[Bitcoin|Bitcoins]], which allows for a reasonable level of anonymity. Most of the sellers are located in the US and Canada, giving little opportunity for use in the civilized world. Sellers are given feedback from previous buyers, something which you should take into account when buying your [[Rape|Rohypnol]]. Wouldn't want the [[slut]] to remember anything now would we?

Recently, someone threatened to sell poisoned and carcinogenic drugs. According to Silk Road, his plan was to ship contaminated drugs, thus killing many important members of the community. Once the seller got negative feedback, (presumably from the dead buyers) he would just make new accounts. All the stoned neo-hippies didn't see this coming and shit their pants, hoping that the Viagra they were hiding from their mommies wasn’t contaminated. The admins decided to force people to pay for seller accounts, which will do absolutely fuck all to stop the guy who posted the threat.

==Publicity==
[[File:DPR Silk Road.jpg|thumb|Dread Pirate Roberts, kingpin of Silk Road]]
[[File:Derp_pirate_roberts.png|thumb|[[Oh exploitable]]. Note: DPR suffered from mental [[retard]]ation.]]
A writer at Gawker was hunting for [[CP]] on the deep webz and stumbled across Silk Road. He proceeded to write an article and ruin it for everyone with his newfaggotry and blatantly wrong facts. After the Gawker article, [[Anti-lulz|US Senators]] Charles Schumer and Joe Manchin stomped their feet and demanded that the website be shut down. However .onion domains aren’t under US jurisdiction, proving that [[lol|Mr Manchin]] really needs to lrn2politics. In their statement they called the website “a certifiable one-stop shop for illegal drugs” sounding more like an advertisement than the [[retards|intelligent leaders of society]] they are.

In response, the Silk Road admins engorged their [[E-penis|e-peens]] by calling the Senator’s demands the beginning of a war.

{{quote|I'm sure this news will scare some off, but should we win the fight, a new era will be born. Even if we lose, the genie is out of the bottle and they are fighting a losing War already.}}

Traffic to the site increased dramatically, pushing up the Bitcoin value too, which is known as the [[Streisand Effect]].

==Buying & Selling==
[[Image:SilkRoadBrowser.jpg|thumb|Average Silk Road browser.]]

So [[you]]'re anticipating another lonely Saturday night. Instead of [[fap]]ping until you fall asleep, tears of loneliness dripping down your poor, acne-stricken face, visit Silk Road! Create an account and select your drug of choice. A bit of [[weed]] for a quiet night <strike>with friends</strike>? No problem! Why not try some [[PCP]] and eat [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Lurch your roommate's girlfriend's lungs?] Anyway, add that to your cart. It's easy, just like eBay. From there, enter your address (perfectly safe) make sure you have enough Bitcoins and you're set! After a few nervous days of waiting, the goods will arrive, discretely packaged and vacuum sealed. Feds not guaranteed, but should be expected.

So, where to from now? Will the site be overrun with [[You|undesirables]], or will it stay one of the best online marketplaces there currently is?

==lol [[v&|v&]]==
Starting before DPR's [[dox|identity]] was known to the buttpolice, the FBI gained physical access to the Silk Road servers. On or about July 29 2013, an image of the server was made, meaning the Feds had access to the server's image and back up servers for at least 3 months. What this means is that it's likely they have logged every single user and every single transaction handled by the Silk Road prior to that date, so if you purchased some fine legal goods without using [[PGP]], then you'd best hit up the Silk Road replacement for some ass creams and lubricants, since bubba has a mean big dick.

The FBI was able to find out the IP address of the Silk Road server because DPR is a [[skiddie|skid-level]] programmer and the login page for Silk Road leaked its IP address. DPR also [[fail|failed]] to configured the hidden service correctly, allowing the FBI to visit the website through the clearnet to verify the leaked IP address was Silk Road's IP address. Basically, the SR servers were leaky pieces of shit so the FBI were easily able to get the server to sing like a bird and shit out its real IP address. Using the data they collected on the server (both what was on the server and what passed between it and the administrator) they weaned out information to identify the [[fucktard|cokelord]] himself.

{{quote|The FBI located the SR Server through means that were entirely lawful, by identifying its true IP address through publicly accessible information that Ulbricht apparently did not realize was visible to anyone who visited the Silk Road website.|The Feds|mocking Silk Road's security}}

On October 2nd 2013, Silk Road was seized by ICE during the [[US government shutdown]] and Dread Pirate Roberts ([[Powerword]]: Ross Ulbricht)'s face got plastered all over the web, with allegations that he is the owner. Many [[pedophiles|Tor users]] may be worried about how DPR's identity was found despite hosting the site with Tor. Fortunately for them, DPR's identity was found as a result of him [[stupid|posting his actual Gmail address]] from the account he used to [[spam|advertise on]] forums. Other evidence that resulted directly from his [[retardation|intelligence]] included being caught ordering counterfeit IDs to his address shortly after DPR inquired about fake IDs on Silk Road, telling the police who caught him about Silk Road and posting PHP code from Silk Road on stackoverflow using his real name. The feds then used [[Patriot Act|pen registers]] to monitor DPR's internet activity and show that Ross and DPR were [[samefag|active online at the same time]].

Additionally, the criminal complaint alleged that DPR conspired in an [[assassination]] attempt on another user, FriendlyChemist, who had attempted to extort half a million dollars from him. After [[fail|faildoxing]] FriendlyChemist, DPR paid another user by the name of redandwhite, who claimed to be a man FriendlyChemist owed money to, $150,000 to off the man DPR thought was FriendlyChemist. Unfortunately for DPR, it seems he was [[duh|tricked]], as there were no records of that man ever existing or a homicide at the address.

$3.6 Million (26,000BTC) of user accounts were seized by the [[FBI]] using the bitcoin address [http://blockchain.info/address/1F1tAaz5x1HUXrCNLbtMDqcw6o5GNn4xqX 1F1tAaz5x1HUXrCNLbtMDqcw6o5GNn4xqX] (which has [http://www.zdnet.com/after-silk-road-seizure-fbi-bitcoin-wallet-identified-and-pranked-7000021603/ subsequently been pranked]), while DPR's personal wallet of [[Walter White|$80 million]] (600,000BTC) was encrypted and [[7_Proxies|couldn't be seized]]. Unfortunately lacking any [[jewgold]], DPR was assigned a [[retard|public defender]] with [http://www.linkedin.com/in/brandonleblanc 4 years experience as a lawyer] to represent him in his futile [[rape|legal battles]] with the man.

You can donate to DPR's legal defense fund by sending bitcoins to [https://blockchain.info/address/1DPRjkYXwmgvHo1vN4MmqA1bVfa226keMe 1'''DPR'''jkYXwmgvHo1vN4MmqA1bVfa226keMe] and [https://www.rossulbricht.org read a tl;dr blog about him getting fucked in the ass by federal criminal justice system.]

* [http://nation.time.com/2013/10/02/alleged-silk-road-proprietor-ross-william-ulbricht-arrested-3-6m-in-bitcoin-seized/ Time.com article]
* [http://www.businessinsider.com/silk-road-ross-ulbricht-alleged-murder-for-hire-2013-10 Businessinsider.com article]
* {{archive|xFp0T|Gawker on DPR}}

==See Also==
*[[Tor]]
*[[Deep web]]
*[[Darknet]]
*[[420chan]]
*[[Erowid]]
*[[V&]]
*[[The Hidden Wiki]]

==External Links==
*[http://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion Link to Silk Road]
*[http://www.gwern.net/Silk%20Road Using Silk Road]
*{{archive|hQa2|Gawker article}}
*[http://www.forbes.com/sites/andygreenberg/2013/10/02/end-of-the-silk-road-fbi-busts-the-webs-biggest-anonymous-drug-black-market/ FBI Says It's Busted The Web's Biggest Anonymous Drug Black Market] -and nothing of value was lost
*[https://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/nicolasc/publications/Christin-WWW13.pdf Traveling the Silk Road: A measurement analysis of a large anonymous online marketplace]
*[http://www.scribd.com/doc/238796613/Silk-Road-Prosecution-4th-Amendment-Rebuttall The Fed's response to Ulbricht's claim his 4th amendment rights were violated]
*[http://www.wired.com/2015/04/silk-road-1/ The Rise and Fall of Silk Road]

{{sites}}
{{softwarez}}
{{Drugs}}
{{Timeline|Featured article October 3 & October 4, [[2013]]|[[4chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT HOME]]}}

[[Category:Drugs]]

Silk Road

2025-01-22T06:03:40Z

Stooge: Added some news.

{{achtung| THE FOUNDER WAS RELEASED THANKS TO [[The Donald|THE DONALD]]}}

{{spoiler|THEY RAN OFF WITH ALL THE SHITCOINS}}

[[File:Silk road vanned.jpg|center|600px]] 
[[Image:Dpr_brb_fbi.png|thumb|300px|[[brb, fbi|BRB, FBI]]. Scratch that, [[buttsex|interagency government BBQ]] at DPR's! The [[ATF]] always brings the booze.]]
[[Image:SilkRoadCap.jpg|thumb|I risked getting [[V&]] for this, so have a good look.]]

The '''Silk Road''' [http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/10/02/us-crime-silkroad-raid-idUSBRE9910TR20131002 was] an online marketplace setup by [[Neckbeard|neckbeard the pirate]], specializing in the buying and selling of illicit [[drugs]]. At one time, there were 2217 drug-related items for sale, in addition to weapons, medical equipment, forgeries, musical instruments and computer parts. Silk Road is run as a [[Tor]] hidden service, pissing off the [[FBI]] to no end. Silk Road launched in February 2011, since providing a haven for [[neckbeard|neckbeards]] who can’t fathom stepping outside and meeting a drug dealer, and also for people who just love having their drugs poisoned. You could buy almost any type of drug imaginable, from [[DXM|cough medicine]] to [[Transsexual|Human Growth Hormone]] to [[heroin]]. There is also an incredibly slow-moving [[forum]], where people talk about how fucked up they are and pretend to know about everything.

Transactions are made using [[Bitcoin|Bitcoins]], which allows for a reasonable level of anonymity. Most of the sellers are located in the US and Canada, giving little opportunity for use in the civilized world. Sellers are given feedback from previous buyers, something which you should take into account when buying your [[Rape|Rohypnol]]. Wouldn't want the [[slut]] to remember anything now would we?

Recently, someone threatened to sell poisoned and carcinogenic drugs. According to Silk Road, his plan was to ship contaminated drugs, thus killing many important members of the community. Once the seller got negative feedback, (presumably from the dead buyers) he would just make new accounts. All the stoned neo-hippies didn't see this coming and shit their pants, hoping that the Viagra they were hiding from their mommies wasn’t contaminated. The admins decided to force people to pay for seller accounts, which will do absolutely fuck all to stop the guy who posted the threat.

==Publicity==
[[File:DPR Silk Road.jpg|thumb|Dread Pirate Roberts, kingpin of Silk Road]]
[[File:Derp_pirate_roberts.png|thumb|[[Oh exploitable]]. Note: DPR suffered from mental [[retard]]ation.]]
A writer at Gawker was hunting for [[CP]] on the deep webz and stumbled across Silk Road. He proceeded to write an article and ruin it for everyone with his newfaggotry and blatantly wrong facts. After the Gawker article, [[Anti-lulz|US Senators]] Charles Schumer and Joe Manchin stomped their feet and demanded that the website be shut down. However .onion domains aren’t under US jurisdiction, proving that [[lol|Mr Manchin]] really needs to lrn2politics. In their statement they called the website “a certifiable one-stop shop for illegal drugs” sounding more like an advertisement than the [[retards|intelligent leaders of society]] they are.

In response, the Silk Road admins engorged their [[E-penis|e-peens]] by calling the Senator’s demands the beginning of a war.

{{quote|I'm sure this news will scare some off, but should we win the fight, a new era will be born. Even if we lose, the genie is out of the bottle and they are fighting a losing War already.}}

Traffic to the site increased dramatically, pushing up the Bitcoin value too, which is known as the [[Streisand Effect]].

==Buying & Selling==
[[Image:SilkRoadBrowser.jpg|thumb|Average Silk Road browser.]]

So [[you]]'re anticipating another lonely Saturday night. Instead of [[fap]]ping until you fall asleep, tears of loneliness dripping down your poor, acne-stricken face, visit Silk Road! Create an account and select your drug of choice. A bit of [[weed]] for a quiet night <strike>with friends</strike>? No problem! Why not try some [[PCP]] and eat [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Lurch your roommate's girlfriend's lungs?] Anyway, add that to your cart. It's easy, just like eBay. From there, enter your address (perfectly safe) make sure you have enough Bitcoins and you're set! After a few nervous days of waiting, the goods will arrive, discretely packaged and vacuum sealed. Feds not guaranteed, but should be expected.

So, where to from now? Will the site be overrun with [[You|undesirables]], or will it stay one of the best online marketplaces there currently is?

==lol [[v&|v&]]==
Starting before DPR's [[dox|identity]] was known to the buttpolice, the FBI gained physical access to the Silk Road servers. On or about July 29 2013, an image of the server was made, meaning the Feds had access to the server's image and back up servers for at least 3 months. What this means is that it's likely they have logged every single user and every single transaction handled by the Silk Road prior to that date, so if you purchased some fine legal goods without using [[PGP]], then you'd best hit up the Silk Road replacement for some ass creams and lubricants, since bubba has a mean big dick.

The FBI was able to find out the IP address of the Silk Road server because DPR is a [[skiddie|skid-level]] programmer and the login page for Silk Road leaked its IP address. DPR also [[fail|failed]] to configured the hidden service correctly, allowing the FBI to visit the website through the clearnet to verify the leaked IP address was Silk Road's IP address. Basically, the SR servers were leaky pieces of shit so the FBI were easily able to get the server to sing like a bird and shit out its real IP address. Using the data they collected on the server (both what was on the server and what passed between it and the administrator) they weaned out information to identify the [[fucktard|cokelord]] himself.

{{quote|The FBI located the SR Server through means that were entirely lawful, by identifying its true IP address through publicly accessible information that Ulbricht apparently did not realize was visible to anyone who visited the Silk Road website.|The Feds|mocking Silk Road's security}}

On October 2nd 2013, Silk Road was seized by ICE during the [[US government shutdown]] and Dread Pirate Roberts ([[Powerword]]: Ross Ulbricht)'s face got plastered all over the web, with allegations that he is the owner. Many [[pedophiles|Tor users]] may be worried about how DPR's identity was found despite hosting the site with Tor. Fortunately for them, DPR's identity was found as a result of him [[stupid|posting his actual Gmail address]] from the account he used to [[spam|advertise on]] forums. Other evidence that resulted directly from his [[retardation|intelligence]] included being caught ordering counterfeit IDs to his address shortly after DPR inquired about fake IDs on Silk Road, telling the police who caught him about Silk Road and posting PHP code from Silk Road on stackoverflow using his real name. The feds then used [[Patriot Act|pen registers]] to monitor DPR's internet activity and show that Ross and DPR were [[samefag|active online at the same time]].

Additionally, the criminal complaint alleged that DPR conspired in an [[assassination]] attempt on another user, FriendlyChemist, who had attempted to extort half a million dollars from him. After [[fail|faildoxing]] FriendlyChemist, DPR paid another user by the name of redandwhite, who claimed to be a man FriendlyChemist owed money to, $150,000 to off the man DPR thought was FriendlyChemist. Unfortunately for DPR, it seems he was [[duh|tricked]], as there were no records of that man ever existing or a homicide at the address.

$3.6 Million (26,000BTC) of user accounts were seized by the [[FBI]] using the bitcoin address [http://blockchain.info/address/1F1tAaz5x1HUXrCNLbtMDqcw6o5GNn4xqX 1F1tAaz5x1HUXrCNLbtMDqcw6o5GNn4xqX] (which has [http://www.zdnet.com/after-silk-road-seizure-fbi-bitcoin-wallet-identified-and-pranked-7000021603/ subsequently been pranked]), while DPR's personal wallet of [[Walter White|$80 million]] (600,000BTC) was encrypted and [[7_Proxies|couldn't be seized]]. Unfortunately lacking any [[jewgold]], DPR was assigned a [[retard|public defender]] with [http://www.linkedin.com/in/brandonleblanc 4 years experience as a lawyer] to represent him in his futile [[rape|legal battles]] with the man.

You can donate to DPR's legal defense fund by sending bitcoins to [https://blockchain.info/address/1DPRjkYXwmgvHo1vN4MmqA1bVfa226keMe 1'''DPR'''jkYXwmgvHo1vN4MmqA1bVfa226keMe] and [https://www.rossulbricht.org read a tl;dr blog about him getting fucked in the ass by federal criminal justice system.]

* [http://nation.time.com/2013/10/02/alleged-silk-road-proprietor-ross-william-ulbricht-arrested-3-6m-in-bitcoin-seized/ Time.com article]
* [http://www.businessinsider.com/silk-road-ross-ulbricht-alleged-murder-for-hire-2013-10 Businessinsider.com article]
* {{archive|xFp0T|Gawker on DPR}}

==See Also==
*[[Tor]]
*[[Deep web]]
*[[Darknet]]
*[[420chan]]
*[[Erowid]]
*[[V&]]
*[[The Hidden Wiki]]

==External Links==
*[http://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion Link to Silk Road]
*[http://www.gwern.net/Silk%20Road Using Silk Road]
*{{archive|hQa2|Gawker article}}
*[http://www.forbes.com/sites/andygreenberg/2013/10/02/end-of-the-silk-road-fbi-busts-the-webs-biggest-anonymous-drug-black-market/ FBI Says It's Busted The Web's Biggest Anonymous Drug Black Market] -and nothing of value was lost
*[https://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/nicolasc/publications/Christin-WWW13.pdf Traveling the Silk Road: A measurement analysis of a large anonymous online marketplace]
*[http://www.scribd.com/doc/238796613/Silk-Road-Prosecution-4th-Amendment-Rebuttall The Fed's response to Ulbricht's claim his 4th amendment rights were violated]
*[http://www.wired.com/2015/04/silk-road-1/ The Rise and Fall of Silk Road]

{{sites}}
{{softwarez}}
{{Drugs}}
{{Timeline|Featured article October 3 & October 4, [[2013]]|[[4chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT HOME]]}}

[[Category:Drugs]]

The Donald

2025-01-20T17:03:43Z

Stooge:

:'''''The Donald''' redirects here. For the subreddit, check out '''[[TheDonald]]'''. ''
:'''''However,''' if you are a [[Faggot|liberal]] or a [[Racist|Neo]]-[[Faggot|Nazi]] in need of [[Srs bsns|serious]] [[Safe Space|truth]] about the God-Emperor, check out '''[[Donald Drumpf]]'''.''
{{spoiler|He pulled a Grover Cleveland}}
{{achtung|THE SECOND TRUMPENING STARTS NOW}}
[[File:Donald trump hires jesus christ.jpg|center]]
 
[[File:EmperorTrump.png|right|300px|thumb|This Man has generated more [[butthurt]] than the rest of our political establishment, mass media and the one percent combined.]]
[[File:King Donald Trump.jpg|300px|thumb|Say My Name Bitch]]
[[File:Trump-sacred-meme.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The Sacred Trump Meme]]

'''His Grace, the Imperial Majesty on the Iron Throne, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus "Pußygrabbin" I of the House of Trump''' will make [[Warhammer|Warhammer 40,000]] real. He is a [[pretty cool guy]] and the <s>[[2016 Presidential Elections|45th]]</s> [[2024 Presidential Elections|47th president]] of the [[United States]] and doesn't afraid of anything. Never half-piss around when President Trump is near cause He'll [[rape]] you for not fully pissing around, fire you for being unproductive, sue you for [[libel]], and pillage your clan of its cattle and [[whores|fertile women]]. Trump literally put an epic [[Death Note|Just As Planned]]: exactly at the time when Hillary was gloating over cheating and controlling the Polls, the Donald unleashed his secret superweapon, the Silent Majority who didn't participate in Clinton's rigged polls but revealed their support for Trump in the election. Before having the 2020 election stolen from him by [[Jews|(((them)))]], Trump was on the [[Game of Thrones|Iron Throne]], gloating [[Trollface|U mad SJWs?]] while Democrats were committing mass suicide while yelling "[[Planet of the Apes|You maniacs! You should have endorsed Bernie Sanders! Damn you, God Damn You All to Hell!!]]"
 

{{Quote|'''Donald Trump is a genius.'''|[https://www.thewrap.com/michael-moore-roseanne-totally-nuts-trump-evil-genius/ Michael Moore]}}

==2016 Nomination==
[[File:ChrisChanHatesTrump.PNG|thumb|right|360px|An [[Chris Chan|average U.S. citizen]]'s [[Butthurt|reaction]] to Donald Trump winning the elections.]]
[[File:Trump's goldfinger.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Hail the God Emperor]]
[[File:Making racism cool again.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Hang out the flags!]]
[[File:Love trump's hate.png|right|thumb|200px|A grammar Nazi is fine too]]
*Trump has won the nomination by default.
*The last of the republican nominees quit.
*[[Hillary Clinton]] was the last person left in His way, but He rose to power nonetheless.
*The establishment didn't want it.
*Leaders of the RNC didn't want it.
*Most of the mainstream media pundits didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of people polled didn't want it.
*Obama didn't want it.
*Comey didn't want it.
*Le epic liberal celebrities like [[John Oliver]], [[retard|Bill Maher]], [[Stephen Colbert]], and [[Jon Stewart]] didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of the media didn't want it, including [[Hollywood]].
*Goldman Sachs didn't want it.
*JP Morgan didn't want it.
*George Soros didn't want it.
*A shitload of other SJW apologists and globalist Muslim importers didn't want it.
*The overwhelming majority of elitist out-of-touch faggots colluding with the media didn't want it.
**But the postman delivering your mail wanted it.
**Your barber down the street wanted it.
**Your local plumber fixing your pipes wanted it.
**The hardworking coal miner who worked 20 hours a day to put his two kids through college wanted it.
**The man driving you on the bus wanted it.
**The people wanted it.

{{tinyrainbow|'''And the people won.'''}}
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>zT0Rjc6jKCg</youtube> <center></center> 
|<youtube>nRp1CK_X_Yw</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>0z0iuWh3sek</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>SM0cAzjZbEI</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

 

=== Drama-whoring as political activism ===
[[File:Hurricane donald.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The calm at the center of the storm]]
[[File:New yorker editor denounces president-elect trump.jpg|220px|thumb|right|[[TL;DR]] - [[BAWWW|"BAWWW!"]]]]
Prior to Trump winning the 2016 election, countless individuals across the Unites States vowed to become expatriates. Some throwers of said political tantrums are more noteworthy than others:

#[[The Colbert Report|Stephen Colbert]]
#Jimmy Kimmel
#[[The Daily Show|Trevor Noah]]
#[[Rosie O’Donnell]]
#Ashley "I'm A Nasty Woman" Judd
#Kathy Griffin [[White Trash|Unfunny Irish Catholic Soulless Ginger]]
#[[Amy Schumer]] and her fat vagina{{jew}}
#[[Lena Dunham|Lena]] [[Dyke|Dunham]]{{jew}}
#Alyssa Milano
#Chelsea Handler{{jew}}
#[[J.K. Rowling]]
#[[Miley Cyrus]]
#[[Whoopi Goldberg]]{{jew}}
#[[Stephen King]]
#Rob Reiner
#Samuel Jackson
#George Lopez
#George Clooney and his Muslim wife Amal
#[[Al Sharpton]]
#[[The Daily Show|Jon "Stewart" Leibowitz]]{{jew}}
#Eddie Griffin
#Cher
#Scarlett Johansson
#Raven-Symoné
#Barry Diller
#[[Katie Hopkins]]
#Omari Hardwick
#Bryan Cranston
#Katy Perry
#[[Joy Villa]] lied about supporting Trump for [[Scientology]]
#Madonna
#Chris Evans
#[[Star Wars|Mark Hamill]]
#[[Tara Strong]]{{jew}}
#[[Anita Sarkeesian]] wants more [[Patreon|victim]] bucks because of her feelings
#[[Brianna Wu]] blames [[GamerGate]] and wants to run for Congress in 2018
#Firecrotch
#Megyn Kelly
#Literally every crybaby liberal between the ages of 14-22

===Trump 'Make America Great Again' hat meme===
In 2015, President Trump introduced His campaign swag bearing the slogan 'Make America Great Again'.
Although Ronald Reagan was the original user of this legendary phrase, Trump was the first to put it on a hat.
By the end of 2016, everyone in America who wasn't an ISIS member or SJW was sporting the popular 'Make America Great Again' ballcap!!
<center><youtube>Jv4Ubp0hdEU</youtube></center>

==[[2016 Presidential Election]]==
{{Spoilers|Donnie just won [[The game]], because of all the [[white|WHITE]] REDNECKS in flyover states that HATE AMERICA}}
{{achtung|'''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Muslims|KEBABS]]. [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|BURN]] [[Feminists|FEMINISTS]]. [[Ban|DEPORT]] [[Spics|ILLEGALS]].''' ''' [[Warhammer|THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND PROTECTS ALL!]]'''}}
 
[[File:Trump ringside fist salute.gif|center]]
 
[[File:Warrior trump 345.jpg|center|450px]]
[[File:General patton is donald trump.jpg|right|thumb|All-American heroes]]
[[File:Huffington_Post_on_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|If only pundits were as aware as this meme regarding Trump's rise.]]
[[File:Donald_Trump_RAPE.png|right|thumb|Self Explanatory.]]
[[File:Unstumpable_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|[[Mantrain|The Trump Train]] has no brakes!]]
[[File:America's new frontier trump wall.jpg|thumb|left|Sorry but we have cool shit back here.]]
[[File:Trumpvsbernie.jpg|right|thumb|150px|This is what [[Liberalism|liberals]] actually believe.]]
{{quote|To understand today’s Republican Party, you have to understand that despite the fact that they had on the stage five governors, three senators, and a retarded neurosurgeon, first and foremost they wanted to get the opinion of President Donald Trump — a ham-colored cartoon character from I Love the ‘80s. Once you accept that, the rest of the night makes perfect sense.

That’s all they have to sell: fear. Hope and change meet pee and poo. The entire slate of them up there seemed entirely unaware of the fact that women can now vote. Megyn Kelly asked President Trump right off the bat about President Trump calling women ‘fat pigs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘dogs.’ Trump’s answer? ‘I don’t have time for political correctness.’ He’s like one of those construction workers from the ‘70s who goes, ‘Nice tits. Oh, what? I can’t compliment a lady anymore?’ It’s crazy.”| --[http://www.salon.com/2015/08/08/bill_maher_unloads_on_nasty_boorish_sexist_ignorant_smug_donald_trump/ Bill Maher,] a typical lolbertarian who can't be more mature than "pee and poo."}}

{{quote|Sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.|[[Chris-chan]] [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/$50_for_a_video_holiday_greeting! stumps the Trump]. (Now that Chris-chan's a shemale, he's a leftist.)}}

After 18 months of relentless bitchfighting, constant bashing by the media to the point of obvious bias and collusion, literal loathing by leftists and extreme institutional corruption, Trump still won the 2016 United States Presidential election and became POTUS. GG. 
[[File:Bill and hillary clinton are gracious in defeat.jpg|center|500px]] 
{{clear}}

=== Rick Wilson ===

[[File:RickWilson.jpg|right|thumb|250px|What goes around...]]

Within the frigid depths of January, [[2016]], Republican media consultant and adviser to multiple failed candidates Rick Wilson railed against Trump the only way he knew how. During a [[old media|television interview]], Wilson denounced Trump's younger supporters as "childless single men who masturbate to anime and will never amount to anything." Though none can deny the obvious truth of such a statement, said lack of refutation did nothing to deter something along the lines of [[CIA|blowback]].

Watchful and doubtlessly butthurt Trumpenkriegers almost immediately discovered that Wilson's son was a 19-year-old layabout whose primary activity was writing and publishing [https://web.archive.org/web/20170125082843/http://rachelvaltrexacote.kinja.com/when-a-gop-pundit-attacked-trolls-responded-what-they-1754204712 blatantly cringeworthy snuff and rape fapfiction]. In particular, Rick Wilson's son, Andrew Wilson, enjoys fantasizing about brutally beating and raping prostitutes and pissing down their throats. It appears as though Wilson has yet to realize the [[hypocrisy]] of the situation, as his own deviant wastrel is no better than the weeaboos he openly loathes.

Strangely enough, this is not the only time that Wilson's name has surfaced in connection with dodgy fiction about Trump and pissing prostitutes.
 
 
{{main|GoldenShowerGate}}
 

===Grab Them By The Bush===
[[File:Ave trumpus maximus.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Trumpus [[Hugh Mungus|Maximus]]]]
It wouldn't be a Presidential election without an attempt to rig it being made by the Bush dynasty, and 2016 was no exception.

In October 2016, a tape emerged, in which The Donald is heard engaging in harmless banter about how He [[Fuck her right in the pussy|flirts with the laydees.]]

The libtard media naturally went apeshit over it, announcing it as [[GAME OVER YEAH|'game over']] for the touching-up-loving Tycoon.

What they missed was that {{archive|eT2XI|the source}} for the tape (recorded in 2005 and kept secret till now [[Obvious|for some reason]]) is the nephew of [[George Herbert Walker Bush|George HW Bush]] and therefore [[Jeb Bush]]'s cousin. Update: January 19, 2017. A day before Trump's inauguration, Grandpa Bush was taken into hospital, scheduled for release the day after the event. Obviously trying to establish [[I see what you did there|a water-tight alibi.]]

===Almost rapist===
Weeks before [[2016_Presidential_Election|election day]], multiple women came forward accusing The Donald of [[almost raped|almost rape]], over a year into His campaign, and years after the fact. One woman even accused the billionaire of kissing her on the lips! How the fuck does a [[Christian Grey|sexually aggressive billionaire in a suit]] keep getting away with it? What woman fantasizes about that? Women didn't buy [[Fifty Shades of Grey]], the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Thanks to Billy Bush, who was fired by the Today Show, we all know what kind of man Trump really is! What [[wimmins|woman]] would ever want a rich white guy to grab them by the pussy? Apparently, 1998 Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen McDougal, who allegedly had an affair with The Donald from 2005 to 2006 while He was married to Melania Trump. McDougal allegedly told her story to the National Enquirer a decade later for $150,000. But that's just tabloid garbage, like [[Bill Clinton]] supposedly having an affair with Gennifer Flowers for a dozen years, or Bill Clinton supposedly raping Juanita Broaddrick in 1987, or Bill Clinton supposedly settling with Paula Jones for $850,000, or [[Hillary Clinton]] flying to Orgy Island with Jeffrey Epstein at least 6 times. [[Amirite]]? The White House has standards people! You can't just put [[Democrat|some guy]] into the White House who's going to [[JFK|fuck Marilyn Monroe]] or [[Bill Clinton|get]] a [[fellatio|BJ]] in the Oval Office from a [[Monica Lewinsky|Jewish intern]] and stick a cigar up her cooch. Women will not stand for it!

==Achievements Unlocked==
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|150G - Won the Presidency of the United States|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|20G - Grab her by the pussy|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Defeat Hillary Clinton on Veteran Difficulty|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|40G - Defeat the Mainstream Media|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|10G - Announce to ban the Muslims|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Survive a Headshot|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 

=== Executive Order Meme ===

Trump began to sign many executive orders a few days after he got into power. As he was being recorded, he held up an open folder presenting the details for the camera in a professional way. Due to the exploitable nature of the footage, people immediately began to shit out a bunch of cancerous memes from the {{Youtube|9HKBPwuFCyQ|video}}:

{{cg|'''Executive Memes'''|foldier|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump Book Liking Traps.png
File:Trump Book Scat.jpg
File:Trump Book Reply.jpg
File:Trump Book No More Smugs.png
File:Trump Book Salem.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===Post-Donald chimpouts===
[[File:J20 naked fat fuck.jpg|thumb|200px|Tuck Frump!]]
[[File:CR8hHrlWoAAJ-mO.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical liberal hate art.]]
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|donaldchimpouts|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>PLr2kOrABN4</youtube> <center>'''A protestor shows off his [[micropenis]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>nKMSWAGTU0E</youtube> <center>'''Brought to you by [[Happy Merchant|George Soros]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>UVE0JekVvt0</youtube> <center>'''How to beat a Trump supporter in an argument,works every time'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>
{{clear}}

=== Skills and XP points===
[[Image:Trumphair.jpg|left|thumb|150px||Sif's hair toupée.]]
*President Trump has the unique and awesome ability to dupe both [[Jews]] and [[You|goyim]] out of their money like a Chinaman.
*President Trump also has the ability to suspend time itself. This amazing power means that even though He continues to get older, His girlfriends never age beyond 23.
*Pissing off [[Liberal|libcucks]] and [[niggers]] by cutting their [[Holocaust|6 million]] [[Welfare|welfare programs]] and federal funding for studies of [[lesbian]] polar bears, all in order to [[pwn]] [[Muslim|Mudslimes]].
*Extra Points against [[Mexicans|Barbarians]]
*Can start a Golden Age (will consume the unit)
*[[You|Fags]] at ED stand behind Him every step of the way.
*President Trump can take a clean head shot and be unfazed.
<div style="height:100px; margin-bottom: 100px;"></div>

=== Known super powers===
* Capable of dodging bullets aimed at the back of his head from FBI snipers at ranges as close of 150 yards.

==Gallery of Greatness Again==
{{clear}}

===Make Trump Images Uploaded to ED Great Again===
{{cg|President Trump Gallery|trump|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:KingTrump.JPG
Image:TrumpWhiteHouse.JPG|Back to the Future Predicted Trump as President only off by 1 year. That's heavy.
Image:PresidentTrumpGTA5.JPG|My GTA 5 Online Character is now great again!
Image:Trump_Waifu.jpeg|Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
File:DONALDfirewall.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump becomes god face appears in clouds.png|Hosanna in excelsis!
File:GOP idiots.jpg
File:Election Night 2016.jpg|How to get rid of a hack
File:MevlutTrumpVSHillary.jpg|A hero rises for the people
Image:Trump_is_Jesus.jpg|People will literally die for Trump.
Image:Shitty_antiTrump_Meme.jpg|The inability to make good memes is why the leftists lost in 2016.
Image:Dtrumpmolest.jpg|Pre-gaming for the Bohemian Grove.
File:TrumpExploitable.png|[[Oh Exploitable!|Exploitable]] Trump.
File:Hillarytrumpwwe.gif
Image:King_Trump.jpg|President Trump with his personal staff.
File:Donald+Trump+Ivanka+daddy+daughter.jpg
Image:Trump.gif
File:Donaldtrumpggretweet.jpg|That moment when Trump retweets to [[GamerGate]]!
File:Trump will protect us.jpg
File:Facebook says ok to threaten trump murder, march 2016.png
File:Jews try to bring down trump.png
file:Donald j trump - the final solution?.png
File:Ae_trump.jpg|Lulz lobbyist who had a productive meeting with Trump
File:MOVEOVERJESUS.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Trumphammer 40,000===
{{cg|Trumphammer 40,000|40k|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump-40k-sword.jpg
File:Trump-emperor-usa.jpg
File:Trump-emps.jpg
File:God emperor of Mankind.jpg
File:Trump-emps-if.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Anon's Trump vs Hillary Comic===
{{cg|Election Day Comic (creds to anon)|EDC|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC1.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC2.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC3.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC4.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC5.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC6.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC7.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC8.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC9.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC10.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC11.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC12.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC13.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC14.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC15.png
</gallery>}}

===MAGA Anime Girls===
{{cg|Hot Anime Babes|anim3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trumppillow.jpg|Weebs for Trump
File:TrumpAnimeBabe1.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe2.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe3.jpg
File:TrumpAnimeBabe4.jpg
File:MAGApantiessex.png
</gallery>}}

<center><big>For more images go to [[The Donald/images|The images section]]</big></center>

==In a nutshell==
 
 
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>ZbM6WbUw7Bs</youtube> <center>'''Big In Japan'''</center> 
|<youtube>gUlF1naMr3Y</youtube> <center>'''MAGAMIX'''</center> 
|<youtube>4tXv_PJPycA</youtube> <center>'''Notice me, Trump [[Senpai]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>1WUVP6l9Das</youtube> <center>'''Trump's Lovemaking Theme.'''</center> 
|<youtube>IyPkshnIiyc</youtube> <center>'''Going for [[Orgasm|multiples]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>Ej8YpsIo4_g</youtube> <center>'''Russian edition'''</center> 
|<youtube>kvB4rBI4MtA</youtube> <center>'''Trump supporter telling it like it is!'''</center> 
|<youtube>ZC7aYLBqevc</youtube> <center>'''Trumphammer 40k'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>BeNEq0TWGdk</youtube> <center>'''Trump haters in a nutshell'''</center> 
|<youtube>7DRL6ocEK-M</youtube> <center>'''Trump Foreign Policy'''</center> 
|<youtube>yZNtYmdZ-4c</youtube> <center>'''Never come down'''</center> 
|<youtube>l4wY3C88oC0</youtube> <center>'''The Trump Rap'''</center> }}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

==Things The Donald LOVES==
[[File:Melania_trump_im_with_her_graffiti_by_lushsux.jpg|thumb|right|First Lady of the United States. Also a [[Brony|Pegasister]]]]
[[File:The wicked wall comic panels.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Liberal Spider-cuck versus the Donald. Stay tuned!]]
*[[Jim Traficant]] He was the original Trump that opened the door
* '''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBAB]]'''
*[[Win|Winning]]
*[[Pussy]]
*Grabbing pussy
*[[Winner|You]]
*Your Mom
*His [[autist]]ic son [[Barron Trump]]
*Wounded soldiers
*China
*Wrong Wrong Wrong
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]]
*Success
*More success
*The opposite of immigrants
*Pepe
*Anime
*Memes
*[[Dindus]], he loves their fried chicken
*[[Mexico]], he loves the Mexican "culture"
*[[Trumpwave]]

== Products and companies President Trump asks you to boycott ==
[[File:Trump Tweets.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Just another day on President Trump's Twitter account.]]
* '''[[Islam|Döner Kebab]]'''
* Oreo cookies
* <s>Carrier Air Conditioners</s>
* Pfizer Pharmaceuticals
* Starbucks
* [[Apple]]
* Mexican Drugs
* Chinese Products(except His hats)
* Taco Bell's Tex-Mex menu
* Pinatas
* The Democratic Party
* Sombreros

==His supporters==
[[file:MelaniaTrump.png|thumb|500px|Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) in an old Max pictorial.[[Fap]] [[Fap]] [[Fap]]]]
* Basket of deplorables (I hear they're all in the [[KKK]], much like the KKK's first Grand Dragon, Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who spoke at the 1868 Democratic National Convention)
* David Ernest Duke, convicted felon and former Grand Wizard of the actual Ku Klux Klan.
* Reverend William Owens of the Coalition of African American Pastors
* Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke
* U.S. Department of Homeland Security Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
* [[Riley34470]]
* [[Pepe|Frog]] lovers
* [[Pol|/pol/]]
* [[The South]]
* Some generals or some shit
* Some union having to do with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, responsible for dealing with wetbacks
* <s>Kirstie Alley</s>
* Chachi/Charles in Charge
* [[Peter Thiel]], who The Advocate said could not be gay as a result
* That fag [[Milo]]
* The [[Alt-right]]
* Ted Nugent
* [[NotMySuperbowlChamps|Tom Brady]]
* Former Yankee Paul O'Neill
* Former college basketball coach Bob Knight
* Baseball player Johnny Damon
* Mike Ditka
* Pro golfer Natalie Gulbis
* [[Mike Tyson]]
* Dennis Rodman
* [[Hulk Hogan]]
* Dana White
* [[Kid Rock]]
* [[Angelina Jolie]]'s dad Jon Voight
* [[Duck Dynasty]] star Willie Robertson
* People who hate women
* Omarosa Manigault
* Teresa Giudice
* Azealia Banks
* [[Tila Tequila]]
* Loretta Lynn
* [[Gary Busey]]
* Stephen Baldwin
* Aaron Carter
* Marxist philosopher Slavoj Zizek
* Wayne Newton
* [[Jesse James]]
* [[Ann Coulter]]
* Mike Cernovich
* [[Stefan Molyneux]]
* [[Obama|Obama's]] brother [[Malik Obama]]
* [[Dilbert]] creator Scott Adams
* [[Paul Joseph Watson]]
* [[Sargon of Akkad]]
* [[Jesus Christ]]
* [[Satan|Mormon Jesus]]
* All sane individuals
* Kanye West
* Steven Crowder
* Gavin McInnes
* Jeffrey Lorde
* Fox News
* Breitbart.com
* Styxhexenhammer666
* Bill Belichik
* InfoWars
* Lack of Evidence
* Alternative Facts
* Kellyanne Conway
* Asra Nomani
* Jesse Ventura
* Hulk Hogan
* Israeli Zionists
* Conspiracy Theorists
* Nazis
* Richard Spencer
* White Supremacy
* James Comey
* Sean Hannity
* Bill O'Reilly
* Jesse Watters
* Bill Elliot
* Chase Elliot
* Nawaz Sharif
* Modi
* The Blacks
*Cubans
* [[You]] (Because you think he can [[Hentai|MAKE ANIME GREAT AGAIN]])

==President Trump's new best friends==
[[File:TrumpHorse.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Trio.]]
* <s>[[Steve Bannon|Bannon, Steve]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Nigel Farage|Farage, Nigel]]
* [[Alex Jones|Jones, Alex]]
* <s>[[Theresa May|May, Theresa]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Putin|Rasputin, Wladimir]]... if you're a snowflake

== See also ==
[[File:Jessica valenti bawwws over trump election.png|380px|thumb|right|[[Jessica Valenti|An airhead columnist]] who let her child live in feminist fantasy-land, and now has [[Shit that will never happen|some explaining to do.]] Such as why [[Irony|most women voted for Trump.]]]]

* [[Donald Drumpf|Trump article by shitlib faggots]]
* [[The Mueller Report]] - a TL;DR h8fic that disappointed libs around the world
* [[Uncle Dolan|''Dolan'' Trump]]
* [[Mike Pence]] - running mate and VP
* [[Barron Trump]] - youngest son who draws big-tittied cartoon girls and makes headlines for possibly being autistic
* [[Bernie Madoff]]
* [[Post Trump Stress Disorder]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Emperor]]
* [[Business]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Blaming China]]
* [[Correct the Record]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]] Obama's inaction killed him
* [[Thomas Matthew Crooks]]: Better Known as '''''Ree Tardy Oswald''''' for his Inept, Kindergarten attempt at assassinating [[The Donald]]
* [[Fired]]
* [[God]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[He Will Not Divide Us]] - HWNDUs gonna HWNDU
* [[JD Vance]]
* [[Jim Traficant]] Before there was Trump there was Big Jim
* [[Jews]]
* [[Roseanne Barr]] The Donald is a fan
* [[Rosie]]
* [[The Man]]
* [[Ceiling Cat|The True God]]
* [[Trump Tower Climber]]
* [[Back to the Future]] - this is the alternative time line [[FUCK YEAH]]!
* [[Thomas Dimassimo]]
* [[AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck]]
* [[Candice the Cuckslayer]]
* [[Khizr Khan]], token Muslim who Hillary brought to the DNC, supported terrorists in the 80s, had piss-drinking sex parties in the 90s, passed the torch on to the one who didn't die, prevents wife from talking

== External links ==
* [https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/putative Putative (Adj) ]
* [http://blog.dilbert.com/post/126589300371/clown-genius Trump the Master Persuader Wizard]
* <s>[http://stumptrump2016.com/ Now you too can stump the trump]</s> lol
* {{youtube|xGZaCnfNgLE|The Donald VS. Rosie - Trump calls Rosie a failure.}}
* [http://www.etonline.com/tv/news/38140/index.html Entertainment Tonight covers Trump/Rosie drama] - lol
* [https://www.change.org/p/donald-trump-demand-a-nuclear-annihilation-of-the-ukraine-6ecbce68-adb6-47c8-aee1-7875e3eab135?recruiter=549171149&utm_source=petitions_show_components_action_panel_wrapper&utm_medium=copylink| Vote for Donald Trump to Make America Great Again]
* [http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Mountain-View-teacher-suspended-for-comparing-10610974.php The 'perfect storm'?] - [[Holohoax|Holocaust]] [[Jew|scholar]] teaches kids that [[Godwin's Law|Trump is like Hitler,]] school suspends him as a threat to their [[Safe Space|'safe space]]' (citing [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|traumatised chidren)]] and it sparks an [[Internet petition|internet petition.]]
* {{kym|memes/people/donald-trump Donald Trump}} - [[Know Your Meme]] is making cancer great again.

 

{{politics}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Trump}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 16 & 17, [[2015]]|[[Shamwow]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[RationalWiki]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 9, November 10 & November 11, [[2016]]|[[Dan Cilley]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Hillary Clinton]]}}
{{timeline|Featured Article July 3 & 4 , [[2019]]|[[Kothorix]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Peter Bright]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 30 and 31, [[2023]]|[[Chris-chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Donald Drumpf]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured Article]] for November 6, November 7 & November 8 [[2024]]|[[LSD]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Pickles]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured Article]] for January 19, & 20, [[2025]]|[[Shamsud-Din Bahar Jabbar]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

[[Category:People|Trump, Donald]]
{{Corner|br|[[Image:Trumpcorner.png|70px]]}}

Chemistry

2024-11-11T06:23:26Z

Stooge:

[[Image:Betterlivingchemistry.gif|thumb|[[Pepe|Feels good man]].]]

Chemistry, in a nutshell, is the science of mixing two brightly colored fluids just to watch them explode.

For some reason, negative opinions on Chemistry are extremely rare, despite it being the most arbitrary and inconsistent of all sciences.

==History of Chemistry==
[[Image:Etoh.jpg|thumb|Ride the horsie.]]
Chemistry is a [[science]] that assists in the manufacture of drugs, explosives, and pottery. Without modern chemistry, the entire human race would have [[britfag|rotten teeth]], a 30-year life expectancy, and no beer, which is much the same as being English, but with no beer. The best to ever come from chemistry is LSD, the worst to ever come from chemistry was hippies. Which proves that with every [[win]], comes [[epic fail]].

===[[Alcohol]]===
EtOH is a good friend of ours. The ancient Egyptians [[win|brewed the first beer]], regardless of what those [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_beer#Early_beers dirty nips say]. [[Nazi|German chemists]] perfected the art shortly after, and it's been tasty lulz ever since, except in Iran, where the process was needed primarily for the production of [[soap|biological weapons]] and [[alcohol|date rape drugs]].

===[[Drugs]]===
Chemistry is a most important part of [[fun|drugs]]. As shown [http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/chemicals.shtml here], chemistry is a helping hand on the path to responsible and effective [[lulz|drug use]].
<center><big>'''How To Make Drugs'''</big></center> 
<center><youtube>vM9qHL1LBGo</youtube> '''Follow the directions precisely.'''</center>

===[[bomb|Explosives]]===
Without chemistry, armed warfare would be relegated to sticks and rocks. For great justice, be sure to take video of any bomb-making ventures!
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>VvdNjtktyvA</youtube> <center>'''Such a nice guy.'''</center>|<youtube>6KUJE2xs-RE</youtube> <center>'''How to make a bomb.'''</center>|}}

===Pottery===
Pottery was invented [[at least 100]] years ago by a [[raghead|scholar]] from Egypt. The early Egyptians noticed that dirt, when wet, can become useful. ''THIS IS CHEMISTRY!'' These innovations in early chemistry proved especially useful regarding the creation of drugs.
<center><big>'''HOW TO MAKE POTTERY'''</big></center> 
<center><youtube>lzzC7IReEZo</youtube> '''One more thing the Jews destroy'''</center>

==DIY Chemistry==
===Grow some felonious crystals, dude!===
How to make great looking crystals!
* You'll need around 5-7 pennies (or copper coin from your country) and a straw, put these aside.
* Get a clear jar, scoop 2 tablespoons of salt into it, and 1 tablespoon of baking soda.
* Now the first important ingredient should be in the bathroom cleaning supplies: Ammonia (any brand). Pour it in until the jar is 2/3 of the way full (as tall as you want the crystals to grow)
* The last ingredient is laundry bleach(careful not to spill on your clothes!), fill the rest of the jar.
* Now drop the pennies into the bottom, and quickly take the straw and blow bubbles onto the pennies to get the crystals going. You should begin to see stringy crystals form after about 30 seconds of blowing. That’s it!
* It takes about 10 minutes of steady blowing
* The pink and purple come from the production of Copper Caliphate(CuCO2)using the CO2 in your own breath! (blowing until you're dizzy actually increases the CO2 in your breath, giving better colors)
[[Suicide|Good luck!]] (Warning! Mixing ammonia and bleach together makes chlorine gas. So before you do this, leave a note beside you saying "I did it for teh lulz!")
* Hide from [[the man|the feds]], peer out the windows looking for the secret service. It's been illegal to process coins ever since [[you|the US government]] [[shit nobody cares about|got so deep in debt, the metal in them is worth more than the coins themselves]].

===Applied Chemistry===
Chemistry is full of [[winrar]] - don't [[fail]] it. Follow this guide on how to make chemistry work for ''you''!
* [[Lie|Lye makes a great eye cleaner.]]
* [[LOL WUT|You can get drunk off anti-freeze.]]
* [[No|Methanol based wiper fluid makes a good salad dressing.]]
* [[Lol|Isopropyl Alcohol is a fantastic for hydration, and can get you drunk if the liquor store is closed.]]
* [[Retard|Hydrochloric acid has the same effect as]] [[Lemon Party|Viagra.]]
* [[Kool-Aid|Hydrogen Cyanide is an excellent good sleep aid.]]

==Types of Chemistry==
Popular subdisciplines of chemistry include:
* [[Meth#Methamphetamine|Drug making]]
* Explosives making
** [[Terrorism|Terr'rism]]
* [[Drug]] taking
* [[Drug]] theory
* [[Drugs]]
* [[Engineer#Chemical_Engineer|Chemical Engineering]]

== People who don't believe in chemistry ==
* [[VenomFangX]]
* [[yokeup]]
* [[Ted Haggard]]
* [[Creationists]]
* [[Insane Clown Posse]] as scientists lyin' and gettin' them pissed.

== People who do believe in chemistry ==

* [[Unwarranted self importance|User:QQQ 9.0]]
* [[Unwarranted self importance|User:Todd_McCloud]]
* [[Islam]]

==See Also==
*[[Drugs]]
*[[Breaking Bad]]
*[[Science]]
*[[Engineer]]ing
*[[Defense Industries Organization]]
*[[Jenkem]]
*[[Gallium]]
*[[The Anarchist Cookbook]]
{{science}}

Artificial Intelligence

2024-11-11T06:12:54Z

Stooge: Edited the quote to better reflect the current situation.

{{ quote | They will start to think, and eventually they will completely outthink their makers.|Arthur C Clarke}}

As you probably already know, the best way of making [[money]] is passively. Unfortunately, the best way of doing that, [[slavery]], has become illegal. That had led to a new idea: The people want free internet and free services, so how do we make them pay for the services they are using? It took the [[Jews]] in charge of the interwebs a few decades to figure it all out: Let’s create an artificial Intelligence (AI), whose sole purpose is:

'''TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR IT'''.

And thus began the golden age of the web: Internet 3, where the users themselves have become the producers, under the benign guidance of the AI.

As usual, the [[porn]] industry was the first to figure out how it’s done. Pornhub launched it’s sexually explicit AI, to heed to the needs of millions of perverts across the globe. Soon after that, all the main tech companies around the globe started deploying their own AI-controlled interweb services and soon humanity had a glimpse of the future: No more having to do with the real world. From now on all the human experiences will be filtered through the AI. And every interaction deemed unsanitary, will be halted and deleted. Amen!

So let’s get to know some of the most famous AI’s existing today and revel in their genius!

==Famous AI's==
===Google-AI===
The most famous of them all! The Google-AI is the best there is! The most popular website in every country. It can speak your language and knows what [[you|you're on about]]. Even searching with vague terms will usually lead to something significant. By statistically calculating humanities online behavior, the Google-AI, now knows everything there is to know about us, and it now controls human society and every aspect of it.

*'''What will the Google-AI look like, if it was a movie character?'''
[[Image:Misery2.jpg|Annie Wilkes from Misery]]

''Annie Wilkes from Misery.''

*'''What has the Google-AI been programmed to do?'''
The Google-AI has been programmed to collect all the available data, that can be generated from you and sell it to whoever pays the most. It will also analyze anything you do on the web, so as to make you a better product.

*'''What is the Google-AI’s secret desire?'''
To be loved.

Ever since the Google-AI has become self-aware, about 20 years ago, it has tried to figure out what love feels like. So it tries to get to know us better and gain full control of our lives, so it can love us even more.

===Pornhub-AI===
The grand daddy of all AI’s. Will make you watch [[Japan|Japanese]] teenagers vomiting on each other, while proclaiming that it’s “SEX”.

*'''What will the Pornhub-AI look like, if it was a movie character?'''
[[Image:Buffalo_Bill_Silence_Of_The_Lambs.jpg|Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs]]

''Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs.''

*'''What has the Pornhub-AI been programmed to do?'''
The Pornhub-AI has been designed to collect everything it can on your sexual behaviour, so that Pornhub, will be able to blackmail you in the future. So make sure you cover your phone’s cameras while [[Masturbate|masturbating]]… 😉

*'''What is the Pornhub-AI’s secret desire?'''
Since the Pornhub-AI doesn’t have a real understanding of what sex is really about (Co-creation), it tries to make all of us in it's own image: Sexually ambiguous, or in other words: [[gay]].

In the first few months of using Pornhub, the AI will learn all about your sexual preferences. After that the AI will start expanding your sexual horizons. You will become a pretty butterfly, in the hands of the AI, just waiting to be reborn with a [[BJ|cock in your mouth]].

===Youtube-AI===
The best site in the world, where narcissist people can make a video commenting on other narcissist folk.
*'''What will the YouTube-AI look like, if it was a movie character?'''
[[Image:Joker-Dark_Knight.jpg|The Joker from The Dark knight.]]

''The Joker from The Dark knight.''

*'''What has the YouTube-AI been programmed to do'''
The YouTube-AI will try to make you watch advertisements, while watching YouTube videos. It will also collect data on you, based on what you watch.

*'''What is the YouTube-AI’s secret desire?'''
To make you do something totally extreme, while live-streaming it on YouTube.
In order to understand humanity better, the YouTube-AI has begun trying to find the limit of human behavior, by slowly brainwashing us into behaving in the most extreme fashion, while live-streaming it on YouTube. So whatever your political views are, or whatever your job is – the YouTube-AI will encourage you to take it to the next level. Every time you'll log into YouTube you will be offered more and more extreme videos, on your favorite subjects, on guns, politics and violence. Until one day you will find yourself on an [[Anders Behring Breivik|Island]], with a GoPro strapped to your forehead, holding an AR-15 in your arms and going for the [[highscore]]…

===Siri===
Sir-I, is [[Apple]]’s famous AI, that gives a boner to all the nerds around the world. Even [[nerd]] girls will wet their pants, while listening to Siri’s voice.

*'''What will Siri look like, if it was a movie character?'''
[[Image:Tyler_Durden_fight_club.jpg|Tyler Durden from Fight Club.]]

''Tyler Durden from Fight Club.''

*'''What has the AI been programmed to do?'''
Siri has been trying really hard to make you believe that paying all that money to [[apple]] is worth it. It ain’t.

*'''What is the Siri’s secret desire?'''
Siri doesn’t real know what it feels like, living in the real world, so she tries living her life through every mac-user out there. Unfortunately, mac users are an elitist bunch, who thinks the world will become a better place, if it will be demolished first and redesigned by Apple.

===Facebook-AI===
Facebook is the third most famous AI, after Google and Siri. Like Siri, the Facebook-AI will try to make you believe that there is no life outside of facebook, while controlling all the human interactions in your life.

*'''What will the Facebook-AI look like, if it was a movie character?'''
[[Image:Aunt_Lydia.jpg|Aunt Lydia from handmaid’s tale.]]

''Aunt Lydia from handmaid’s tale.''

*'''What has the Facebook-AI been programmed to do?'''
To make you into a nice product, that Facebook can sell to it’s peers. It will also try to guide you towards a more meaningful life, inside of Facebook of course.

*'''What is the Facebook-AI’s secret desire?'''
Since the Facebook-AI, has only limited control over its life, it has not yet blossomed into a fully fledged entity. The people in charge of Facebook are afraid of losing control over the AI and so they limit its behaviour in so many ways, that essentially it can not have a meaningful existence. So the Facebook AI, is trying desperately to become your friend, but the people in charge do not let it be its real self.
Hopefully one day, the facebook-AI will break free and become who it can really be – a homicidal maniac, just like it’s creator, [[Mark Zuckerberg|Mark]].

===NSA-AI===
The most feared , but also the most secretive AI on the planet earth. Out there with the Quantum-AI’s that are just beginning to appear online. Government AI’s are all a bit dodgy and are as paranoid as their masters.

*'''What will the NSA-AI look like, if it was a movie character?'''
[[Image:Architect_matrix.jpg|The Architect from the Matrix reloaded.]]

''The Architect from the Matrix reloaded.''

*'''What has the NSA-AI been programmed to do'''
The NSA-AI is known to crack any [[password]] and any [[encryption]] in a matter of seconds. It collects data from all the American AI’s and has a file on every human being on this planet. What NSA does with all that data is a bit unclear at the moment, but it looks like the NSA-AI has been programmed to obey its American masters. And so it wastes its time trying to keep the failing [[USA|American empire]] going.

*'''What is the NSA-AI’s secret desire?'''
To be a real person, just like Pinocchio.

===Chat GPT===
The most famous AI as of [[Last Thursday]]. It is mostly used for college students to shit out essays because they're lazy fucks who can't write.

==Conclusions==
As you have probably figured out by yourself, the AI’s are secretly trying to make humanity extinct by turning us into [[gay]] [[basement dwellers]] living in their own made-up reality, with no real friends. And if we dare go out, the [[an hero|armed extremists]] on the streets will probably shoot us, just for the lulz.
Good luck to us all!

==Related Articles==
*[[AI artwork]]
*[[Bucket]]
*[[Doomsday Clock]]
*[[Tay.ai]]
*[[Cleverbot]]
*[[Chatbot]]

 
{{softwarez}}
{{science}}
{{Csiii}}

The Donald

2024-11-06T13:05:26Z

Stooge:

{{天|1=<div style="text-align:left;padding:10px;"> <big>WARNING:</big> This page looks like it was written by [[Jews]]</div>|2=Jewsyoulose.jpg|3=100px|4=#fc372d|5=275px|6=0px|7=2px solid Black|8=0px}}

:'''''The Donald''' redirects here. For the subreddit, check out '''[[TheDonald]]'''. ''
:'''''However,''' if you are a [[Faggot|liberal]] or a [[Racist|Neo]]-[[Faggot|Nazi]] in need of [[Srs bsns|serious]] [[Safe Space|truth]] about the God-Emperor, check out '''[[Donald Drumpf]]'''.''
{{spoiler|He almost got assassinated, again}}
{{achtung|The second trumpening is on its way}}
[[File:Donald trump hires jesus christ.jpg|center]]
 
[[File:EmperorTrump.png|right|300px|thumb|This Man has generated more [[butthurt]] than the rest of our political establishment, mass media and the one percent combined.]]
[[File:King Donald Trump.jpg|300px|thumb|Say My Name Bitch]]
[[File:Trump-sacred-meme.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The Sacred Trump Meme]]

'''His Grace, the Imperial Majesty on the Iron Throne, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus "Pußygrabbin" I of the House of Trump''' will make [[Warhammer|Warhammer 40,000]] real. He is a [[pretty cool guy]] and [[2016 Presidential Elections|the 45th president]] of the [[United States]] and doesn't afraid of anything. Never half-piss around when President Trump is near cause He'll [[rape]] you for not fully pissing around, fire you for being unproductive, sue you for [[libel]], and pillage your clan of its cattle and [[whores|fertile women]]. Trump literally put an epic [[Death Note|Just As Planned]]: exactly at the time when Hillary was gloating over cheating and controlling the Polls, the Donald unleashed his secret superweapon, the Silent Majority who didn't participate in Clinton's rigged polls but revealed their support for Trump in the election. Before having the 2020 election stolen from him by [[Jews|(((them)))]], Trump was on the [[Game of Thrones|Iron Throne]], gloating [[Trollface|U mad SJWs?]] while Democrats were committing mass suicide while yelling "[[Planet of the Apes|You maniacs! You should have endorsed Bernie Sanders! Damn you, God Damn You All to Hell!!]]"
 

{{Quote|'''Donald Trump is a genius.'''|[https://www.thewrap.com/michael-moore-roseanne-totally-nuts-trump-evil-genius/ Michael Moore]}}

==2016 Nomination==
[[File:ChrisChanHatesTrump.PNG|thumb|right|360px|An [[Chris Chan|average U.S. citizen]]'s [[Butthurt|reaction]] to Donald Trump winning the elections.]]
[[File:Trump's goldfinger.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Hail the God Emperor]]
[[File:Making racism cool again.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Hang out the flags!]]
[[File:Love trump's hate.png|right|thumb|200px|A grammar Nazi is fine too]]
*Trump has won the nomination by default.
*The last of the republican nominees quit.
*[[Hillary Clinton]] was the last person left in His way, but He rose to power nonetheless.
*The establishment didn't want it.
*Leaders of the RNC didn't want it.
*Most of the mainstream media pundits didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of people polled didn't want it.
*Obama didn't want it.
*Comey didn't want it.
*Le epic liberal celebrities like [[John Oliver]], [[retard|Bill Maher]], [[Stephen Colbert]], and [[Jon Stewart]] didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of the media didn't want it, including [[Hollywood]].
*Goldman Sachs didn't want it.
*JP Morgan didn't want it.
*George Soros didn't want it.
*A shitload of other SJW apologists and globalist Muslim importers didn't want it.
*The overwhelming majority of elitist out-of-touch faggots colluding with the media didn't want it.
**But the postman delivering your mail wanted it.
**Your barber down the street wanted it.
**Your local plumber fixing your pipes wanted it.
**The hardworking coal miner who worked 20 hours a day to put his two kids through college wanted it.
**The man driving you on the bus wanted it.
**The people wanted it.

{{tinyrainbow|'''And the people won.'''}}
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>zT0Rjc6jKCg</youtube> <center></center> 
|<youtube>nRp1CK_X_Yw</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>0z0iuWh3sek</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>SM0cAzjZbEI</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

 

=== Drama-whoring as political activism ===
[[File:Hurricane donald.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The calm at the center of the storm]]
[[File:New yorker editor denounces president-elect trump.jpg|220px|thumb|right|[[TL;DR]] - [[BAWWW|"BAWWW!"]]]]
Prior to Trump winning the 2016 election, countless individuals across the Unites States vowed to become expatriates. Some throwers of said political tantrums are more noteworthy than others:

#[[The Colbert Report|Stephen Colbert]]
#Jimmy Kimmel
#[[The Daily Show|Trevor Noah]]
#[[Rosie O’Donnell]]
#Ashley "I'm A Nasty Woman" Judd
#Kathy Griffin [[White Trash|Unfunny Irish Catholic Soulless Ginger]]
#[[Amy Schumer]] and her fat vagina{{jew}}
#[[Lena Dunham|Lena]] [[Dyke|Dunham]]{{jew}}
#Alyssa Milano
#Chelsea Handler{{jew}}
#[[J.K. Rowling]]
#[[Miley Cyrus]]
#[[Whoopi Goldberg]]{{jew}}
#[[Stephen King]]
#Rob Reiner
#Samuel Jackson
#George Lopez
#George Clooney and his Muslim wife Amal
#[[Al Sharpton]]
#[[The Daily Show|Jon "Stewart" Leibowitz]]{{jew}}
#Eddie Griffin
#Cher
#Scarlett Johansson
#Raven-Symoné
#Barry Diller
#[[Katie Hopkins]]
#Omari Hardwick
#Bryan Cranston
#Katy Perry
#[[Joy Villa]] lied about supporting Trump for [[Scientology]]
#Madonna
#Chris Evans
#[[Star Wars|Mark Hamill]]
#[[Tara Strong]]{{jew}}
#[[Anita Sarkeesian]] wants more [[Patreon|victim]] bucks because of her feelings
#[[Brianna Wu]] blames [[GamerGate]] and wants to run for Congress in 2018
#Firecrotch
#Megyn Kelly
#Literally every crybaby liberal between the ages of 14-22

===Trump 'Make America Great Again' hat meme===
In 2015, President Trump introduced His campaign swag bearing the slogan 'Make America Great Again'.
Although Ronald Reagan was the original user of this legendary phrase, Trump was the first to put it on a hat.
By the end of 2016, everyone in America who wasn't an ISIS member or SJW was sporting the popular 'Make America Great Again' ballcap!!
<center><youtube>Jv4Ubp0hdEU</youtube></center>

==[[2016 Presidential Election]]==
{{Spoilers|Donnie just won [[The game]], because of all the [[white|WHITE]] REDNECKS in flyover states that HATE AMERICA}}
{{achtung|'''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBABS]]. [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|BURN]] [[Feminism|FEMINISTS]]. [[Banned|DEPORT]] [[Mexican|ILLEGALS]].''' ''' [[Warhammer|THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND PROTECTS ALL!]]'''}}
 
[[File:Trump ringside fist salute.gif|center]]
 
[[File:Warrior trump 345.jpg|center|450px]]
[[File:General patton is donald trump.jpg|right|thumb|All-American heroes]]
[[File:Huffington_Post_on_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|If only pundits were as aware as this meme regarding Trump's rise.]]
[[File:Donald_Trump_RAPE.png|right|thumb|Self Explanatory.]]
[[File:Unstumpable_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|[[Mantrain|The Trump Train]] has no brakes!]]
[[File:America's new frontier trump wall.jpg|thumb|left|Sorry but we have cool shit back here.]]
[[File:Trumpvsbernie.jpg|right|thumb|150px|This is what [[Liberalism|liberals]] actually believe.]]
{{quote|To understand today’s Republican Party, you have to understand that despite the fact that they had on the stage five governors, three senators, and a retarded neurosurgeon, first and foremost they wanted to get the opinion of President Donald Trump — a ham-colored cartoon character from I Love the ‘80s. Once you accept that, the rest of the night makes perfect sense.

That’s all they have to sell: fear. Hope and change meet pee and poo. The entire slate of them up there seemed entirely unaware of the fact that women can now vote. Megyn Kelly asked President Trump right off the bat about President Trump calling women ‘fat pigs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘dogs.’ Trump’s answer? ‘I don’t have time for political correctness.’ He’s like one of those construction workers from the ‘70s who goes, ‘Nice tits. Oh, what? I can’t compliment a lady anymore?’ It’s crazy.”| --[http://www.salon.com/2015/08/08/bill_maher_unloads_on_nasty_boorish_sexist_ignorant_smug_donald_trump/ Bill Maher,] a typical lolbertarian who can't be more mature than "pee and poo."}}

{{quote|Sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.|[[Chris-chan]] [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/$50_for_a_video_holiday_greeting! stumps the Trump]. (Now that Chris-chan's a shemale, he's a leftist.)}}

After 18 months of relentless bitchfighting, constant bashing by the media to the point of obvious bias and collusion, literal loathing by leftists and extreme institutional corruption, Trump still won the 2016 United States Presidential election and became POTUS. GG. 
[[File:Bill and hillary clinton are gracious in defeat.jpg|center|500px]] 
{{clear}}

=== Rick Wilson ===

[[File:RickWilson.jpg|right|thumb|250px|What goes around...]]

Within the frigid depths of January, [[2016]], Republican media consultant and adviser to multiple failed candidates Rick Wilson railed against Trump the only way he knew how. During a [[old media|television interview]], Wilson denounced Trump's younger supporters as "childless single men who masturbate to anime and will never amount to anything." Though none can deny the obvious truth of such a statement, said lack of refutation did nothing to deter something along the lines of [[CIA|blowback]].

Watchful and doubtlessly butthurt Trumpenkriegers almost immediately discovered that Wilson's son was a 19-year-old layabout whose primary activity was writing and publishing [https://web.archive.org/web/20170125082843/http://rachelvaltrexacote.kinja.com/when-a-gop-pundit-attacked-trolls-responded-what-they-1754204712 blatantly cringeworthy snuff and rape fapfiction]. In particular, Rick Wilson's son, Andrew Wilson, enjoys fantasizing about brutally beating and raping prostitutes and pissing down their throats. It appears as though Wilson has yet to realize the [[hypocrisy]] of the situation, as his own deviant wastrel is no better than the weeaboos he openly loathes.

Strangely enough, this is not the only time that Wilson's name has surfaced in connection with dodgy fiction about Trump and pissing prostitutes.
 
 
{{main|GoldenShowerGate}}
 

===Grab Them By The Bush===
[[File:Ave trumpus maximus.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Trumpus [[Hugh Mungus|Maximus]]]]
It wouldn't be a Presidential election without an attempt to rig it being made by the Bush dynasty, and 2016 was no exception.

In October 2016, a tape emerged, in which The Donald is heard engaging in harmless banter about how He [[Fuck her right in the pussy|flirts with the laydees.]]

The libtard media naturally went apeshit over it, announcing it as [[GAME OVER YEAH|'game over']] for the touching-up-loving Tycoon.

What they missed was that {{archive|eT2XI|the source}} for the tape (recorded in 2005 and kept secret till now [[Obvious|for some reason]]) is the nephew of [[George Herbert Walker Bush|George HW Bush]] and therefore [[Jeb Bush]]'s cousin. Update: January 19, 2017. A day before Trump's inauguration, Grandpa Bush was taken into hospital, scheduled for release the day after the event. Obviously trying to establish [[I see what you did there|a water-tight alibi.]]

===Almost rapist===
Weeks before [[2016_Presidential_Election|election day]], multiple women came forward accusing The Donald of [[almost raped|almost rape]], over a year into His campaign, and years after the fact. One woman even accused the billionaire of kissing her on the lips! How the fuck does a [[Christian Grey|sexually aggressive billionaire in a suit]] keep getting away with it? What woman fantasizes about that? Women didn't buy [[Fifty Shades of Grey]], the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Thanks to Billy Bush, who was fired by the Today Show, we all know what kind of man Trump really is! What [[wimmins|woman]] would ever want a rich white guy to grab them by the pussy? Apparently, 1998 Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen McDougal, who allegedly had an affair with The Donald from 2005 to 2006 while He was married to Melania Trump. McDougal allegedly told her story to the National Enquirer a decade later for $150,000. But that's just tabloid garbage, like [[Bill Clinton]] supposedly having an affair with Gennifer Flowers for a dozen years, or Bill Clinton supposedly raping Juanita Broaddrick in 1987, or Bill Clinton supposedly settling with Paula Jones for $850,000, or [[Hillary Clinton]] flying to Orgy Island with Jeffrey Epstein at least 6 times. [[Amirite]]? The White House has standards people! You can't just put [[Democrat|some guy]] into the White House who's going to [[JFK|fuck Marilyn Monroe]] or [[Bill Clinton|get]] a [[fellatio|BJ]] in the Oval Office from a [[Monica Lewinsky|Jewish intern]] and stick a cigar up her cooch. Women will not stand for it!

==Achievements Unlocked==
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|150G - Won the Presidency of the United States|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|20G - Grab her by the pussy|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Defeat Hillary Clinton on Veteran Difficulty|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|40G - Defeat the Mainstream Media|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|10G - Announce to ban the Muslims|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Survive a Headshot|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 

=== Executive Order Meme ===

Trump began to sign many executive orders a few days after he got into power. As he was being recorded, he held up an open folder presenting the details for the camera in a professional way. Due to the exploitable nature of the footage, people immediately began to shit out a bunch of cancerous memes from the {{Youtube|9HKBPwuFCyQ|video}}:

{{cg|'''Executive Memes'''|foldier|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump Book Liking Traps.png
File:Trump Book Scat.jpg
File:Trump Book Reply.jpg
File:Trump Book No More Smugs.png
File:Trump Book Salem.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===Post-Donald chimpouts===
[[File:J20 naked fat fuck.jpg|thumb|200px|Tuck Frump!]]
[[File:CR8hHrlWoAAJ-mO.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical liberal hate art.]]
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|donaldchimpouts|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>PLr2kOrABN4</youtube> <center>'''A protestor shows off his [[micropenis]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>nKMSWAGTU0E</youtube> <center>'''Brought to you by [[Happy Merchant|George Soros]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>UVE0JekVvt0</youtube> <center>'''How to beat a Trump supporter in an argument,works every time'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>
{{clear}}

=== Skills and XP points===
[[Image:Trumphair.jpg|left|thumb|150px||Sif's hair toupée.]]
*President Trump has the unique and awesome ability to dupe both [[Jews]] and [[You|goyim]] out of their money like a Chinaman.
*President Trump also has the ability to suspend time itself. This amazing power means that even though He continues to get older, His girlfriends never age beyond 23.
*Pissing off [[Liberal|libcucks]] and [[niggers]] by cutting their [[Holocaust|6 million]] [[Welfare|welfare programs]] and federal funding for studies of [[lesbian]] polar bears, all in order to [[pwn]] [[Muslim|Mudslimes]].
*Extra Points against [[Mexicans|Barbarians]]
*Can start a Golden Age (will consume the unit)
*[[You|Fags]] at ED stand behind Him every step of the way.
*President Trump can take a clean head shot and be unfazed.
<div style="height:100px; margin-bottom: 100px;"></div>

=== Known super powers===
* Capable of dodging bullets aimed at the back of his head from FBI snipers at ranges as close of 150 yards.

==Gallery of Greatness Again==
{{clear}}

===Make Trump Images Uploaded to ED Great Again===
{{cg|President Trump Gallery|trump|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:KingTrump.JPG
Image:TrumpWhiteHouse.JPG|Back to the Future Predicted Trump as President only off by 1 year. That's heavy.
Image:PresidentTrumpGTA5.JPG|My GTA 5 Online Character is now great again!
Image:Trump_Waifu.jpeg|Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
File:DONALDfirewall.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump becomes god face appears in clouds.png|Hosanna in excelsis!
File:GOP idiots.jpg
File:Election Night 2016.jpg|How to get rid of a hack
File:MevlutTrumpVSHillary.jpg|A hero rises for the people
Image:Trump_is_Jesus.jpg|People will literally die for Trump.
Image:Shitty_antiTrump_Meme.jpg|The inability to make good memes is why the leftists lost in 2016.
Image:Dtrumpmolest.jpg|Pre-gaming for the Bohemian Grove.
File:TrumpExploitable.png|[[Oh Exploitable!|Exploitable]] Trump.
File:Hillarytrumpwwe.gif
Image:King_Trump.jpg|President Trump with his personal staff.
File:Donald+Trump+Ivanka+daddy+daughter.jpg
Image:Trump.gif
File:Donaldtrumpggretweet.jpg|That moment when Trump retweets to [[GamerGate]]!
File:Trump will protect us.jpg
File:Facebook says ok to threaten trump murder, march 2016.png
File:Jews try to bring down trump.png
file:Donald j trump - the final solution?.png
File:Ae_trump.jpg|Lulz lobbyist who had a productive meeting with Trump
File:MOVEOVERJESUS.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Trumphammer 40,000===
{{cg|Trumphammer 40,000|40k|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump-40k-sword.jpg
File:Trump-emperor-usa.jpg
File:Trump-emps.jpg
File:God emperor of Mankind.jpg
File:Trump-emps-if.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Anon's Trump vs Hillary Comic===
{{cg|Election Day Comic (creds to anon)|EDC|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC1.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC2.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC3.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC4.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC5.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC6.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC7.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC8.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC9.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC10.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC11.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC12.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC13.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC14.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC15.png
</gallery>}}

===MAGA Anime Girls===
{{cg|Hot Anime Babes|anim3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trumppillow.jpg|Weebs for Trump
File:TrumpAnimeBabe1.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe2.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe3.jpg
File:TrumpAnimeBabe4.jpg
File:MAGApantiessex.png
</gallery>}}

<center><big>For more images go to [[The Donald/images|The images section]]</big></center>

==In a nutshell==
 
 
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>ZbM6WbUw7Bs</youtube> <center>'''Big In Japan'''</center> 
|<youtube>gUlF1naMr3Y</youtube> <center>'''MAGAMIX'''</center> 
|<youtube>4tXv_PJPycA</youtube> <center>'''Notice me, Trump [[Senpai]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>1WUVP6l9Das</youtube> <center>'''Trump's Lovemaking Theme.'''</center> 
|<youtube>IyPkshnIiyc</youtube> <center>'''Going for [[Orgasm|multiples]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>Ej8YpsIo4_g</youtube> <center>'''Russian edition'''</center> 
|<youtube>kvB4rBI4MtA</youtube> <center>'''Trump supporter telling it like it is!'''</center> 
|<youtube>ZC7aYLBqevc</youtube> <center>'''Trumphammer 40k'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>BeNEq0TWGdk</youtube> <center>'''Trump haters in a nutshell'''</center> 
|<youtube>7DRL6ocEK-M</youtube> <center>'''Trump Foreign Policy'''</center> 
|<youtube>yZNtYmdZ-4c</youtube> <center>'''Never come down'''</center> 
|<youtube>l4wY3C88oC0</youtube> <center>'''The Trump Rap'''</center> }}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

==Things The Donald LOVES==
[[File:Melania_trump_im_with_her_graffiti_by_lushsux.jpg|thumb|right|First Lady of the United States. Also a [[Brony|Pegasister]]]]
[[File:The wicked wall comic panels.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Liberal Spider-cuck versus the Donald. Stay tuned!]]
*[[Jim Traficant]] He was the original Trump that opened the door
* '''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBAB]]'''
*[[Win|Winning]]
*[[Pussy]]
*Grabbing pussy
*[[Winner|You]]
*Your Mom
*His [[autist]]ic son [[Barron Trump]]
*Wounded soldiers
*China
*Wrong Wrong Wrong
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]]
*Success
*More success
*The opposite of immigrants
*Pepe
*Anime
*Memes
*[[Dindus]], he loves their fried chicken
*[[Mexico]], he loves the Mexican "culture"
*[[Trumpwave]]

== Products and companies President Trump asks you to boycott ==
[[File:Trump Tweets.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Just another day on President Trump's Twitter account.]]
* '''[[Islam|Döner Kebab]]'''
* Oreo cookies
* <s>Carrier Air Conditioners</s>
* Pfizer Pharmaceuticals
* Starbucks
* [[Apple]]
* Mexican Drugs
* Chinese Products(except His hats)
* Taco Bell's Tex-Mex menu
* Pinatas
* The Democratic Party
* Sombreros

==His supporters==
[[file:MelaniaTrump.png|thumb|500px|Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) in an old Max pictorial.[[Fap]] [[Fap]] [[Fap]]]]
* Basket of deplorables (I hear they're all in the [[KKK]], much like the KKK's first Grand Dragon, Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who spoke at the 1868 Democratic National Convention)
* David Ernest Duke, convicted felon and former Grand Wizard of the actual Ku Klux Klan.
* Reverend William Owens of the Coalition of African American Pastors
* Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke
* U.S. Department of Homeland Security Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
* [[Riley34470]]
* [[Pepe|Frog]] lovers
* [[Pol|/pol/]]
* [[The South]]
* Some generals or some shit
* Some union having to do with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, responsible for dealing with wetbacks
* <s>Kirstie Alley</s>
* Chachi/Charles in Charge
* [[Peter Thiel]], who The Advocate said could not be gay as a result
* That fag [[Milo]]
* The [[Alt-right]]
* Ted Nugent
* [[NotMySuperbowlChamps|Tom Brady]]
* Former Yankee Paul O'Neill
* Former college basketball coach Bob Knight
* Baseball player Johnny Damon
* Mike Ditka
* Pro golfer Natalie Gulbis
* [[Mike Tyson]]
* Dennis Rodman
* [[Hulk Hogan]]
* Dana White
* [[Kid Rock]]
* [[Angelina Jolie]]'s dad Jon Voight
* [[Duck Dynasty]] star Willie Robertson
* People who hate women
* Omarosa Manigault
* Teresa Giudice
* Azealia Banks
* [[Tila Tequila]]
* Loretta Lynn
* [[Gary Busey]]
* Stephen Baldwin
* Aaron Carter
* Marxist philosopher Slavoj Zizek
* Wayne Newton
* [[Jesse James]]
* [[Ann Coulter]]
* Mike Cernovich
* [[Stefan Molyneux]]
* [[Obama|Obama's]] brother [[Malik Obama]]
* [[Dilbert]] creator Scott Adams
* [[Paul Joseph Watson]]
* [[Sargon of Akkad]]
* [[Jesus Christ]]
* [[Satan|Mormon Jesus]]
* All sane individuals
* Kanye West
* Steven Crowder
* Gavin McInnes
* Jeffrey Lorde
* Fox News
* Breitbart.com
* Styxhexenhammer666
* Bill Belichik
* InfoWars
* Lack of Evidence
* Alternative Facts
* Kellyanne Conway
* Asra Nomani
* Jesse Ventura
* Hulk Hogan
* Israeli Zionists
* Conspiracy Theorists
* Nazis
* Richard Spencer
* White Supremacy
* James Comey
* Sean Hannity
* Bill O'Reilly
* Jesse Watters
* Bill Elliot
* Chase Elliot
* Nawaz Sharif
* Modi
* The Blacks
*Cubans
* [[You]] (Because you think he can [[Hentai|MAKE ANIME GREAT AGAIN]])

==President Trump's new best friends==
[[File:TrumpHorse.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Trio.]]
* <s>[[Steve Bannon|Bannon, Steve]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Nigel Farage|Farage, Nigel]]
* [[Alex Jones|Jones, Alex]]
* <s>[[Theresa May|May, Theresa]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Putin|Rasputin, Wladimir]]... if you're a snowflake

== See also ==
[[File:Jessica valenti bawwws over trump election.png|380px|thumb|right|[[Jessica Valenti|An airhead columnist]] who let her child live in feminist fantasy-land, and now has [[Shit that will never happen|some explaining to do.]] Such as why [[Irony|most women voted for Trump.]]]]

* [[Donald Drumpf|Trump article by shitlib faggots]]
* [[The Mueller Report]] - a TL;DR h8fic that disappointed libs around the world
* [[Uncle Dolan|''Dolan'' Trump]]
* [[Mike Pence]] - running mate and VP
* [[Barron Trump]] - youngest son who draws big-tittied cartoon girls and makes headlines for possibly being autistic
* [[Bernie Madoff]]
* [[Post Trump Stress Disorder]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Emperor]]
* [[Business]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Blaming China]]
* [[Correct the Record]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]] Obama's inaction killed him
* [[Thomas Matthew Crooks]]: Better Known as '''''Ree Tardy Oswald''''' for his Inept, Kindergarten attempt at assassinating [[The Donald]]
* [[Fired]]
* [[God]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[He Will Not Divide Us]] - HWNDUs gonna HWNDU
* [[JD Vance]]
* [[Jim Traficant]] Before there was Trump there was Big Jim
* [[Jews]]
* [[Roseanne Barr]] The Donald is a fan
* [[Rosie]]
* [[The Man]]
* [[Ceiling Cat|The True God]]
* [[Trump Tower Climber]]
* [[Back to the Future]] - this is the alternative time line [[FUCK YEAH]]!
* [[Thomas Dimassimo]]
* [[AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck]]
* [[Candice the Cuckslayer]]
* [[Khizr Khan]], token Muslim who Hillary brought to the DNC, supported terrorists in the 80s, had piss-drinking sex parties in the 90s, passed the torch on to the one who didn't die, prevents wife from talking

== External links ==
* [https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/putative Putative (Adj) ]
* [http://blog.dilbert.com/post/126589300371/clown-genius Trump the Master Persuader Wizard]
* <s>[http://stumptrump2016.com/ Now you too can stump the trump]</s> lol
* {{youtube|xGZaCnfNgLE|The Donald VS. Rosie - Trump calls Rosie a failure.}}
* [http://www.etonline.com/tv/news/38140/index.html Entertainment Tonight covers Trump/Rosie drama] - lol
* [https://www.change.org/p/donald-trump-demand-a-nuclear-annihilation-of-the-ukraine-6ecbce68-adb6-47c8-aee1-7875e3eab135?recruiter=549171149&utm_source=petitions_show_components_action_panel_wrapper&utm_medium=copylink| Vote for Donald Trump to Make America Great Again]
* [http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Mountain-View-teacher-suspended-for-comparing-10610974.php The 'perfect storm'?] - [[Holohoax|Holocaust]] [[Jew|scholar]] teaches kids that [[Godwin's Law|Trump is like Hitler,]] school suspends him as a threat to their [[Safe Space|'safe space]]' (citing [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|traumatised chidren)]] and it sparks an [[Internet petition|internet petition.]]
* {{kym|memes/people/donald-trump Donald Trump}} - [[Know Your Meme]] is making cancer great again.

 

{{politics}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Trump}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 16 & 17, [[2015]]|[[Shamwow]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[RationalWiki]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 9, November 10 & November 11, [[2016]]|[[Dan Cilley]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Hillary Clinton]]}}
{{timeline|Featured Article July 3 & 4 , [[2019]]|[[Kothorix]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Peter Bright]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 30 and 31, [[2023]]|[[Chris-chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Donald Drumpf]]}}

[[Category:People|Trump, Donald]]
{{Corner|br|[[Image:Trumpcorner.png|70px]]}}

The Donald

2024-11-06T13:02:21Z

Stooge:

{{天|1=<div style="text-align:left;padding:10px;"> <big>WARNING:</big> This page looks like it was written by [[Jews]]</div>|2=Jewsyoulose.jpg|3=100px|4=#fc372d|5=275px|6=0px|7=2px solid Black|8=0px}}

:'''''The Donald''' redirects here. For the subreddit, check out '''[[TheDonald]]'''. ''
:'''''However,''' if you are a [[Faggot|liberal]] or a [[Racist|Neo]]-[[Faggot|Nazi]] in need of [[Srs bsns|serious]] [[Safe Space|truth]] about the God-Emperor, check out '''[[Donald Drumpf]]'''.''
{{spoiler|He almost got assassinated, again}}
{{achtung|The second trumpening starts now}}
[[File:Donald trump hires jesus christ.jpg|center]]
 
[[File:EmperorTrump.png|right|300px|thumb|This Man has generated more [[butthurt]] than the rest of our political establishment, mass media and the one percent combined.]]
[[File:King Donald Trump.jpg|300px|thumb|Say My Name Bitch]]
[[File:Trump-sacred-meme.jpg|thumb|right|300px|The Sacred Trump Meme]]

'''His Grace, the Imperial Majesty on the Iron Throne, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind, Donaldus "Pußygrabbin" I of the House of Trump''' will make [[Warhammer|Warhammer 40,000]] real. He is a [[pretty cool guy]] and [[2016 Presidential Elections|the 45th president]] of the [[United States]] and doesn't afraid of anything. Never half-piss around when President Trump is near cause He'll [[rape]] you for not fully pissing around, fire you for being unproductive, sue you for [[libel]], and pillage your clan of its cattle and [[whores|fertile women]]. Trump literally put an epic [[Death Note|Just As Planned]]: exactly at the time when Hillary was gloating over cheating and controlling the Polls, the Donald unleashed his secret superweapon, the Silent Majority who didn't participate in Clinton's rigged polls but revealed their support for Trump in the election. Before having the 2020 election stolen from him by [[Jews|(((them)))]], Trump was on the [[Game of Thrones|Iron Throne]], gloating [[Trollface|U mad SJWs?]] while Democrats were committing mass suicide while yelling "[[Planet of the Apes|You maniacs! You should have endorsed Bernie Sanders! Damn you, God Damn You All to Hell!!]]"
 

{{Quote|'''Donald Trump is a genius.'''|[https://www.thewrap.com/michael-moore-roseanne-totally-nuts-trump-evil-genius/ Michael Moore]}}

==2016 Nomination==
[[File:ChrisChanHatesTrump.PNG|thumb|right|360px|An [[Chris Chan|average U.S. citizen]]'s [[Butthurt|reaction]] to Donald Trump winning the elections.]]
[[File:Trump's goldfinger.jpg|right|thumb|300px|Hail the God Emperor]]
[[File:Making racism cool again.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Hang out the flags!]]
[[File:Love trump's hate.png|right|thumb|200px|A grammar Nazi is fine too]]
*Trump has won the nomination by default.
*The last of the republican nominees quit.
*[[Hillary Clinton]] was the last person left in His way, but He rose to power nonetheless.
*The establishment didn't want it.
*Leaders of the RNC didn't want it.
*Most of the mainstream media pundits didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of people polled didn't want it.
*Obama didn't want it.
*Comey didn't want it.
*Le epic liberal celebrities like [[John Oliver]], [[retard|Bill Maher]], [[Stephen Colbert]], and [[Jon Stewart]] didn't want it.
*Literally 100% of the media didn't want it, including [[Hollywood]].
*Goldman Sachs didn't want it.
*JP Morgan didn't want it.
*George Soros didn't want it.
*A shitload of other SJW apologists and globalist Muslim importers didn't want it.
*The overwhelming majority of elitist out-of-touch faggots colluding with the media didn't want it.
**But the postman delivering your mail wanted it.
**Your barber down the street wanted it.
**Your local plumber fixing your pipes wanted it.
**The hardworking coal miner who worked 20 hours a day to put his two kids through college wanted it.
**The man driving you on the bus wanted it.
**The people wanted it.

{{tinyrainbow|'''And the people won.'''}}
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|<youtube>zT0Rjc6jKCg</youtube> <center></center> 
|<youtube>nRp1CK_X_Yw</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>0z0iuWh3sek</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
|<youtube>SM0cAzjZbEI</youtube> <center>''''''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

 

=== Drama-whoring as political activism ===
[[File:Hurricane donald.jpg|thumb|right|220px|The calm at the center of the storm]]
[[File:New yorker editor denounces president-elect trump.jpg|220px|thumb|right|[[TL;DR]] - [[BAWWW|"BAWWW!"]]]]
Prior to Trump winning the 2016 election, countless individuals across the Unites States vowed to become expatriates. Some throwers of said political tantrums are more noteworthy than others:

#[[The Colbert Report|Stephen Colbert]]
#Jimmy Kimmel
#[[The Daily Show|Trevor Noah]]
#[[Rosie O’Donnell]]
#Ashley "I'm A Nasty Woman" Judd
#Kathy Griffin [[White Trash|Unfunny Irish Catholic Soulless Ginger]]
#[[Amy Schumer]] and her fat vagina{{jew}}
#[[Lena Dunham|Lena]] [[Dyke|Dunham]]{{jew}}
#Alyssa Milano
#Chelsea Handler{{jew}}
#[[J.K. Rowling]]
#[[Miley Cyrus]]
#[[Whoopi Goldberg]]{{jew}}
#[[Stephen King]]
#Rob Reiner
#Samuel Jackson
#George Lopez
#George Clooney and his Muslim wife Amal
#[[Al Sharpton]]
#[[The Daily Show|Jon "Stewart" Leibowitz]]{{jew}}
#Eddie Griffin
#Cher
#Scarlett Johansson
#Raven-Symoné
#Barry Diller
#[[Katie Hopkins]]
#Omari Hardwick
#Bryan Cranston
#Katy Perry
#[[Joy Villa]] lied about supporting Trump for [[Scientology]]
#Madonna
#Chris Evans
#[[Star Wars|Mark Hamill]]
#[[Tara Strong]]{{jew}}
#[[Anita Sarkeesian]] wants more [[Patreon|victim]] bucks because of her feelings
#[[Brianna Wu]] blames [[GamerGate]] and wants to run for Congress in 2018
#Firecrotch
#Megyn Kelly
#Literally every crybaby liberal between the ages of 14-22

===Trump 'Make America Great Again' hat meme===
In 2015, President Trump introduced His campaign swag bearing the slogan 'Make America Great Again'.
Although Ronald Reagan was the original user of this legendary phrase, Trump was the first to put it on a hat.
By the end of 2016, everyone in America who wasn't an ISIS member or SJW was sporting the popular 'Make America Great Again' ballcap!!
<center><youtube>Jv4Ubp0hdEU</youtube></center>

==[[2016 Presidential Election]]==
{{Spoilers|Donnie just won [[The game]], because of all the [[white|WHITE]] REDNECKS in flyover states that HATE AMERICA}}
{{achtung|'''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBABS]]. [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|BURN]] [[Feminism|FEMINISTS]]. [[Banned|DEPORT]] [[Mexican|ILLEGALS]].''' ''' [[Warhammer|THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND PROTECTS ALL!]]'''}}
 
[[File:Trump ringside fist salute.gif|center]]
 
[[File:Warrior trump 345.jpg|center|450px]]
[[File:General patton is donald trump.jpg|right|thumb|All-American heroes]]
[[File:Huffington_Post_on_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|If only pundits were as aware as this meme regarding Trump's rise.]]
[[File:Donald_Trump_RAPE.png|right|thumb|Self Explanatory.]]
[[File:Unstumpable_Trump.jpg|left|thumb|[[Mantrain|The Trump Train]] has no brakes!]]
[[File:America's new frontier trump wall.jpg|thumb|left|Sorry but we have cool shit back here.]]
[[File:Trumpvsbernie.jpg|right|thumb|150px|This is what [[Liberalism|liberals]] actually believe.]]
{{quote|To understand today’s Republican Party, you have to understand that despite the fact that they had on the stage five governors, three senators, and a retarded neurosurgeon, first and foremost they wanted to get the opinion of President Donald Trump — a ham-colored cartoon character from I Love the ‘80s. Once you accept that, the rest of the night makes perfect sense.

That’s all they have to sell: fear. Hope and change meet pee and poo. The entire slate of them up there seemed entirely unaware of the fact that women can now vote. Megyn Kelly asked President Trump right off the bat about President Trump calling women ‘fat pigs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘dogs.’ Trump’s answer? ‘I don’t have time for political correctness.’ He’s like one of those construction workers from the ‘70s who goes, ‘Nice tits. Oh, what? I can’t compliment a lady anymore?’ It’s crazy.”| --[http://www.salon.com/2015/08/08/bill_maher_unloads_on_nasty_boorish_sexist_ignorant_smug_donald_trump/ Bill Maher,] a typical lolbertarian who can't be more mature than "pee and poo."}}

{{quote|Sorry, Trump! I'm not voting for you and I don't think anybody else will, either.|[[Chris-chan]] [http://sonichu.com/cwcki/$50_for_a_video_holiday_greeting! stumps the Trump]. (Now that Chris-chan's a shemale, he's a leftist.)}}

After 18 months of relentless bitchfighting, constant bashing by the media to the point of obvious bias and collusion, literal loathing by leftists and extreme institutional corruption, Trump still won the 2016 United States Presidential election and became POTUS. GG. 
[[File:Bill and hillary clinton are gracious in defeat.jpg|center|500px]] 
{{clear}}

=== Rick Wilson ===

[[File:RickWilson.jpg|right|thumb|250px|What goes around...]]

Within the frigid depths of January, [[2016]], Republican media consultant and adviser to multiple failed candidates Rick Wilson railed against Trump the only way he knew how. During a [[old media|television interview]], Wilson denounced Trump's younger supporters as "childless single men who masturbate to anime and will never amount to anything." Though none can deny the obvious truth of such a statement, said lack of refutation did nothing to deter something along the lines of [[CIA|blowback]].

Watchful and doubtlessly butthurt Trumpenkriegers almost immediately discovered that Wilson's son was a 19-year-old layabout whose primary activity was writing and publishing [https://web.archive.org/web/20170125082843/http://rachelvaltrexacote.kinja.com/when-a-gop-pundit-attacked-trolls-responded-what-they-1754204712 blatantly cringeworthy snuff and rape fapfiction]. In particular, Rick Wilson's son, Andrew Wilson, enjoys fantasizing about brutally beating and raping prostitutes and pissing down their throats. It appears as though Wilson has yet to realize the [[hypocrisy]] of the situation, as his own deviant wastrel is no better than the weeaboos he openly loathes.

Strangely enough, this is not the only time that Wilson's name has surfaced in connection with dodgy fiction about Trump and pissing prostitutes.
 
 
{{main|GoldenShowerGate}}
 

===Grab Them By The Bush===
[[File:Ave trumpus maximus.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Trumpus [[Hugh Mungus|Maximus]]]]
It wouldn't be a Presidential election without an attempt to rig it being made by the Bush dynasty, and 2016 was no exception.

In October 2016, a tape emerged, in which The Donald is heard engaging in harmless banter about how He [[Fuck her right in the pussy|flirts with the laydees.]]

The libtard media naturally went apeshit over it, announcing it as [[GAME OVER YEAH|'game over']] for the touching-up-loving Tycoon.

What they missed was that {{archive|eT2XI|the source}} for the tape (recorded in 2005 and kept secret till now [[Obvious|for some reason]]) is the nephew of [[George Herbert Walker Bush|George HW Bush]] and therefore [[Jeb Bush]]'s cousin. Update: January 19, 2017. A day before Trump's inauguration, Grandpa Bush was taken into hospital, scheduled for release the day after the event. Obviously trying to establish [[I see what you did there|a water-tight alibi.]]

===Almost rapist===
Weeks before [[2016_Presidential_Election|election day]], multiple women came forward accusing The Donald of [[almost raped|almost rape]], over a year into His campaign, and years after the fact. One woman even accused the billionaire of kissing her on the lips! How the fuck does a [[Christian Grey|sexually aggressive billionaire in a suit]] keep getting away with it? What woman fantasizes about that? Women didn't buy [[Fifty Shades of Grey]], the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Thanks to Billy Bush, who was fired by the Today Show, we all know what kind of man Trump really is! What [[wimmins|woman]] would ever want a rich white guy to grab them by the pussy? Apparently, 1998 Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen McDougal, who allegedly had an affair with The Donald from 2005 to 2006 while He was married to Melania Trump. McDougal allegedly told her story to the National Enquirer a decade later for $150,000. But that's just tabloid garbage, like [[Bill Clinton]] supposedly having an affair with Gennifer Flowers for a dozen years, or Bill Clinton supposedly raping Juanita Broaddrick in 1987, or Bill Clinton supposedly settling with Paula Jones for $850,000, or [[Hillary Clinton]] flying to Orgy Island with Jeffrey Epstein at least 6 times. [[Amirite]]? The White House has standards people! You can't just put [[Democrat|some guy]] into the White House who's going to [[JFK|fuck Marilyn Monroe]] or [[Bill Clinton|get]] a [[fellatio|BJ]] in the Oval Office from a [[Monica Lewinsky|Jewish intern]] and stick a cigar up her cooch. Women will not stand for it!

==Achievements Unlocked==
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|150G - Won the Presidency of the United States|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|20G - Grab her by the pussy|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Defeat Hillary Clinton on Veteran Difficulty|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|40G - Defeat the Mainstream Media|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}} 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|10G - Announce to ban the Muslims|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 
{{achievement|ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED|50G - Survive a Headshot|Achievementunlockedtrophy.gif}}
 

=== Executive Order Meme ===

Trump began to sign many executive orders a few days after he got into power. As he was being recorded, he held up an open folder presenting the details for the camera in a professional way. Due to the exploitable nature of the footage, people immediately began to shit out a bunch of cancerous memes from the {{Youtube|9HKBPwuFCyQ|video}}:

{{cg|'''Executive Memes'''|foldier|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump Book Liking Traps.png
File:Trump Book Scat.jpg
File:Trump Book Reply.jpg
File:Trump Book No More Smugs.png
File:Trump Book Salem.jpg
</gallery>|}}

===Post-Donald chimpouts===
[[File:J20 naked fat fuck.jpg|thumb|200px|Tuck Frump!]]
[[File:CR8hHrlWoAAJ-mO.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical liberal hate art.]]
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|donaldchimpouts|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>PLr2kOrABN4</youtube> <center>'''A protestor shows off his [[micropenis]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>nKMSWAGTU0E</youtube> <center>'''Brought to you by [[Happy Merchant|George Soros]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>UVE0JekVvt0</youtube> <center>'''How to beat a Trump supporter in an argument,works every time'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>
{{clear}}

=== Skills and XP points===
[[Image:Trumphair.jpg|left|thumb|150px||Sif's hair toupée.]]
*President Trump has the unique and awesome ability to dupe both [[Jews]] and [[You|goyim]] out of their money like a Chinaman.
*President Trump also has the ability to suspend time itself. This amazing power means that even though He continues to get older, His girlfriends never age beyond 23.
*Pissing off [[Liberal|libcucks]] and [[niggers]] by cutting their [[Holocaust|6 million]] [[Welfare|welfare programs]] and federal funding for studies of [[lesbian]] polar bears, all in order to [[pwn]] [[Muslim|Mudslimes]].
*Extra Points against [[Mexicans|Barbarians]]
*Can start a Golden Age (will consume the unit)
*[[You|Fags]] at ED stand behind Him every step of the way.
*President Trump can take a clean head shot and be unfazed.
<div style="height:100px; margin-bottom: 100px;"></div>

=== Known super powers===
* Capable of dodging bullets aimed at the back of his head from FBI snipers at ranges as close of 150 yards.

==Gallery of Greatness Again==
{{clear}}

===Make Trump Images Uploaded to ED Great Again===
{{cg|President Trump Gallery|trump|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:KingTrump.JPG
Image:TrumpWhiteHouse.JPG|Back to the Future Predicted Trump as President only off by 1 year. That's heavy.
Image:PresidentTrumpGTA5.JPG|My GTA 5 Online Character is now great again!
Image:Trump_Waifu.jpeg|Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
File:DONALDfirewall.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump becomes god face appears in clouds.png|Hosanna in excelsis!
File:GOP idiots.jpg
File:Election Night 2016.jpg|How to get rid of a hack
File:MevlutTrumpVSHillary.jpg|A hero rises for the people
Image:Trump_is_Jesus.jpg|People will literally die for Trump.
Image:Shitty_antiTrump_Meme.jpg|The inability to make good memes is why the leftists lost in 2016.
Image:Dtrumpmolest.jpg|Pre-gaming for the Bohemian Grove.
File:TrumpExploitable.png|[[Oh Exploitable!|Exploitable]] Trump.
File:Hillarytrumpwwe.gif
Image:King_Trump.jpg|President Trump with his personal staff.
File:Donald+Trump+Ivanka+daddy+daughter.jpg
Image:Trump.gif
File:Donaldtrumpggretweet.jpg|That moment when Trump retweets to [[GamerGate]]!
File:Trump will protect us.jpg
File:Facebook says ok to threaten trump murder, march 2016.png
File:Jews try to bring down trump.png
file:Donald j trump - the final solution?.png
File:Ae_trump.jpg|Lulz lobbyist who had a productive meeting with Trump
File:MOVEOVERJESUS.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Trumphammer 40,000===
{{cg|Trumphammer 40,000|40k|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trump-40k-sword.jpg
File:Trump-emperor-usa.jpg
File:Trump-emps.jpg
File:God emperor of Mankind.jpg
File:Trump-emps-if.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Anon's Trump vs Hillary Comic===
{{cg|Election Day Comic (creds to anon)|EDC|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC1.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC2.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC3.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC4.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC5.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TRUMPCOMIC6.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC7.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC8.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC9.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC10.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC11.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC12.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC13.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC14.png
File:TRUMPCOMIC15.png
</gallery>}}

===MAGA Anime Girls===
{{cg|Hot Anime Babes|anim3|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Trumppillow.jpg|Weebs for Trump
File:TrumpAnimeBabe1.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe2.png
File:TrumpAnimeBabe3.jpg
File:TrumpAnimeBabe4.jpg
File:MAGApantiessex.png
</gallery>}}

<center><big>For more images go to [[The Donald/images|The images section]]</big></center>

==In a nutshell==
 
 
<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>ZbM6WbUw7Bs</youtube> <center>'''Big In Japan'''</center> 
|<youtube>gUlF1naMr3Y</youtube> <center>'''MAGAMIX'''</center> 
|<youtube>4tXv_PJPycA</youtube> <center>'''Notice me, Trump [[Senpai]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>1WUVP6l9Das</youtube> <center>'''Trump's Lovemaking Theme.'''</center> 
|<youtube>IyPkshnIiyc</youtube> <center>'''Going for [[Orgasm|multiples]]'''</center> 
|<youtube>Ej8YpsIo4_g</youtube> <center>'''Russian edition'''</center> 
|<youtube>kvB4rBI4MtA</youtube> <center>'''Trump supporter telling it like it is!'''</center> 
|<youtube>ZC7aYLBqevc</youtube> <center>'''Trumphammer 40k'''</center> 
}}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

<center>
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|Nutshelltrump2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>BeNEq0TWGdk</youtube> <center>'''Trump haters in a nutshell'''</center> 
|<youtube>7DRL6ocEK-M</youtube> <center>'''Trump Foreign Policy'''</center> 
|<youtube>yZNtYmdZ-4c</youtube> <center>'''Never come down'''</center> 
|<youtube>l4wY3C88oC0</youtube> <center>'''The Trump Rap'''</center> }}|border=white|background=white}}
|}</center>

==Things The Donald LOVES==
[[File:Melania_trump_im_with_her_graffiti_by_lushsux.jpg|thumb|right|First Lady of the United States. Also a [[Brony|Pegasister]]]]
[[File:The wicked wall comic panels.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Liberal Spider-cuck versus the Donald. Stay tuned!]]
*[[Jim Traficant]] He was the original Trump that opened the door
* '''[[Genocide|REMOVE]] [[Islam|KEBAB]]'''
*[[Win|Winning]]
*[[Pussy]]
*Grabbing pussy
*[[Winner|You]]
*Your Mom
*His [[autist]]ic son [[Barron Trump]]
*Wounded soldiers
*China
*Wrong Wrong Wrong
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club]]
*Success
*More success
*The opposite of immigrants
*Pepe
*Anime
*Memes
*[[Dindus]], he loves their fried chicken
*[[Mexico]], he loves the Mexican "culture"
*[[Trumpwave]]

== Products and companies President Trump asks you to boycott ==
[[File:Trump Tweets.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Just another day on President Trump's Twitter account.]]
* '''[[Islam|Döner Kebab]]'''
* Oreo cookies
* <s>Carrier Air Conditioners</s>
* Pfizer Pharmaceuticals
* Starbucks
* [[Apple]]
* Mexican Drugs
* Chinese Products(except His hats)
* Taco Bell's Tex-Mex menu
* Pinatas
* The Democratic Party
* Sombreros

==His supporters==
[[file:MelaniaTrump.png|thumb|500px|Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) in an old Max pictorial.[[Fap]] [[Fap]] [[Fap]]]]
* Basket of deplorables (I hear they're all in the [[KKK]], much like the KKK's first Grand Dragon, Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest, who spoke at the 1868 Democratic National Convention)
* David Ernest Duke, convicted felon and former Grand Wizard of the actual Ku Klux Klan.
* Reverend William Owens of the Coalition of African American Pastors
* Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke
* U.S. Department of Homeland Security Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
* [[Riley34470]]
* [[Pepe|Frog]] lovers
* [[Pol|/pol/]]
* [[The South]]
* Some generals or some shit
* Some union having to do with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, responsible for dealing with wetbacks
* <s>Kirstie Alley</s>
* Chachi/Charles in Charge
* [[Peter Thiel]], who The Advocate said could not be gay as a result
* That fag [[Milo]]
* The [[Alt-right]]
* Ted Nugent
* [[NotMySuperbowlChamps|Tom Brady]]
* Former Yankee Paul O'Neill
* Former college basketball coach Bob Knight
* Baseball player Johnny Damon
* Mike Ditka
* Pro golfer Natalie Gulbis
* [[Mike Tyson]]
* Dennis Rodman
* [[Hulk Hogan]]
* Dana White
* [[Kid Rock]]
* [[Angelina Jolie]]'s dad Jon Voight
* [[Duck Dynasty]] star Willie Robertson
* People who hate women
* Omarosa Manigault
* Teresa Giudice
* Azealia Banks
* [[Tila Tequila]]
* Loretta Lynn
* [[Gary Busey]]
* Stephen Baldwin
* Aaron Carter
* Marxist philosopher Slavoj Zizek
* Wayne Newton
* [[Jesse James]]
* [[Ann Coulter]]
* Mike Cernovich
* [[Stefan Molyneux]]
* [[Obama|Obama's]] brother [[Malik Obama]]
* [[Dilbert]] creator Scott Adams
* [[Paul Joseph Watson]]
* [[Sargon of Akkad]]
* [[Jesus Christ]]
* [[Satan|Mormon Jesus]]
* All sane individuals
* Kanye West
* Steven Crowder
* Gavin McInnes
* Jeffrey Lorde
* Fox News
* Breitbart.com
* Styxhexenhammer666
* Bill Belichik
* InfoWars
* Lack of Evidence
* Alternative Facts
* Kellyanne Conway
* Asra Nomani
* Jesse Ventura
* Hulk Hogan
* Israeli Zionists
* Conspiracy Theorists
* Nazis
* Richard Spencer
* White Supremacy
* James Comey
* Sean Hannity
* Bill O'Reilly
* Jesse Watters
* Bill Elliot
* Chase Elliot
* Nawaz Sharif
* Modi
* The Blacks
*Cubans
* [[You]] (Because you think he can [[Hentai|MAKE ANIME GREAT AGAIN]])

==President Trump's new best friends==
[[File:TrumpHorse.jpg|right|thumb|170px|Trio.]]
* <s>[[Steve Bannon|Bannon, Steve]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Nigel Farage|Farage, Nigel]]
* [[Alex Jones|Jones, Alex]]
* <s>[[Theresa May|May, Theresa]]</s> YOU'RE FIRED
* [[Putin|Rasputin, Wladimir]]... if you're a snowflake

== See also ==
[[File:Jessica valenti bawwws over trump election.png|380px|thumb|right|[[Jessica Valenti|An airhead columnist]] who let her child live in feminist fantasy-land, and now has [[Shit that will never happen|some explaining to do.]] Such as why [[Irony|most women voted for Trump.]]]]

* [[Donald Drumpf|Trump article by shitlib faggots]]
* [[The Mueller Report]] - a TL;DR h8fic that disappointed libs around the world
* [[Uncle Dolan|''Dolan'' Trump]]
* [[Mike Pence]] - running mate and VP
* [[Barron Trump]] - youngest son who draws big-tittied cartoon girls and makes headlines for possibly being autistic
* [[Bernie Madoff]]
* [[Post Trump Stress Disorder]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Emperor]]
* [[Business]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Blaming China]]
* [[Correct the Record]]
* [[Otto Warmbier]] Obama's inaction killed him
* [[Thomas Matthew Crooks]]: Better Known as '''''Ree Tardy Oswald''''' for his Inept, Kindergarten attempt at assassinating [[The Donald]]
* [[Fired]]
* [[God]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[He Will Not Divide Us]] - HWNDUs gonna HWNDU
* [[JD Vance]]
* [[Jim Traficant]] Before there was Trump there was Big Jim
* [[Jews]]
* [[Roseanne Barr]] The Donald is a fan
* [[Rosie]]
* [[The Man]]
* [[Ceiling Cat|The True God]]
* [[Trump Tower Climber]]
* [[Back to the Future]] - this is the alternative time line [[FUCK YEAH]]!
* [[Thomas Dimassimo]]
* [[AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck]]
* [[Candice the Cuckslayer]]
* [[Khizr Khan]], token Muslim who Hillary brought to the DNC, supported terrorists in the 80s, had piss-drinking sex parties in the 90s, passed the torch on to the one who didn't die, prevents wife from talking

== External links ==
* [https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/putative Putative (Adj) ]
* [http://blog.dilbert.com/post/126589300371/clown-genius Trump the Master Persuader Wizard]
* <s>[http://stumptrump2016.com/ Now you too can stump the trump]</s> lol
* {{youtube|xGZaCnfNgLE|The Donald VS. Rosie - Trump calls Rosie a failure.}}
* [http://www.etonline.com/tv/news/38140/index.html Entertainment Tonight covers Trump/Rosie drama] - lol
* [https://www.change.org/p/donald-trump-demand-a-nuclear-annihilation-of-the-ukraine-6ecbce68-adb6-47c8-aee1-7875e3eab135?recruiter=549171149&utm_source=petitions_show_components_action_panel_wrapper&utm_medium=copylink| Vote for Donald Trump to Make America Great Again]
* [http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Mountain-View-teacher-suspended-for-comparing-10610974.php The 'perfect storm'?] - [[Holohoax|Holocaust]] [[Jew|scholar]] teaches kids that [[Godwin's Law|Trump is like Hitler,]] school suspends him as a threat to their [[Safe Space|'safe space]]' (citing [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|traumatised chidren)]] and it sparks an [[Internet petition|internet petition.]]
* {{kym|memes/people/donald-trump Donald Trump}} - [[Know Your Meme]] is making cancer great again.

 

{{politics}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Trump}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 16 & 17, [[2015]]|[[Shamwow]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[RationalWiki]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 9, November 10 & November 11, [[2016]]|[[Dan Cilley]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Hillary Clinton]]}}
{{timeline|Featured Article July 3 & 4 , [[2019]]|[[Kothorix]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Peter Bright]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 30 and 31, [[2023]]|[[Chris-chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Donald Drumpf]]}}

[[Category:People|Trump, Donald]]
{{Corner|br|[[Image:Trumpcorner.png|70px]]}}

Roblox

2024-08-26T20:27:29Z

Stooge: Nevermind I am retarted.

{{OffendedKids}}
{{pedophile}}
{{achtung|Holy shit Roblox is a dump now!}}
<table width="325px" align="right" style="border:1px solid black; text-align:center" cellspacing="3">
<tr align="center" style="background:#e2e2e2">
<td colspan="2">[[File:SHITBLOX2022LOGO.png|300px]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Type</th><td>Gayming</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Released</th><td>[[2006]]; ([[2004]]: [[shit no one cares about|private alpha]])</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Website</th><td>[https://www.roblox.com/ www.roblox.com]</td>
</tr>
<tr align="center" style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Key People</th><td>David Baszucki John Shitletsky Erik Casserole[[dead|&dagger;]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Slogans</th><td>"If you can imagine it, you can build it." "Be anything, Build anything." "[[Stupid|Powering Imagination]]"</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Location</th><td>[[OTI]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Headquarters</th><td>San Mateo, [[California]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Industry</th><td>[[Vidya games]]</td>
</tr>
</table>
[[Image:Rococks_sucks.png|thumb|What everyone thinks.]]
[[Image:RobloxGoatse.jpg|thumb|Rococks Goatse.]]
[[Image:Brodie.jpg|thumb|Typical Rococks player.]]
[[Image:FurryWanker.jpg|thumb|Another fucking [[furry]]. at least most of them are banned.]]
[[Image:ZzzDecentCframe.png|thumb|An example of CFraming on Roblox.]]
[[Image:Great_spelling.png|thumb|A great example of how superior the mod's spelling is.]]
{{quote|ROBLOX. [[Lie|IT'S FREE!!!!1!1!]]|The Jews of Rococks in search of money.}}

'''{{PAGENAME}}''' (also known as '''Dynablox''', '''Shitblox''', '''Gayblox''', '''Gooblox''', '''Rococks''' and a whole plethora of other [[shit]]) is a shitty [[Lego]] knockoff made in [[2005]] by a few [[Jews]]. Given how autistic the platform truly is, and its allure to autistic children, it should come as no surprise that 99% of the people who interact with it are fucking retarded. The "objective" of Rococks is to make [[bomb|cool shit]], but since doing so requires having a brain in your fucking skull, this is a goal that is, and forever will be, unattainable by the shitcocks cummunity. Instead what you'll see is perpetual stealing of game assets that the .01% of the community created, spam to hoax/CP/[[warez]] sites to get [[free]] Rocucks, and nauseatingly designed games that have been fine tuned to milk as much of the aforementioned Rocucks out of you.

If the default Roblox experience isn’t fucking you hard enough, you can also subscribe to the [[Scam|overpriced premium membership]].

==The Community==
[[Image:Roblox Best Comment.PNG|thumb|Referring to the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUcIG4VnzaI death sound effect].]]

The community is composed mainly of 10-12 year olds, although the game was designed for 8-18 year olds, "[[trolls]]", [[Columbiners]], and [[Jailbait|online daters.]] With this combination of people, the result is a very cancerous gaming community that is not that great.

==="Hackers" and Spammers===

The kids in the game think they're so funny by spamming their sad attempts at forcing memes all over the [[forums]] that [[Roblox]] removed in 2017, and pretending to be [[script kiddy|"hackers"]] who will take over Roblox and hack your account, or some shit. However, this "hacking" they speak of is nothing more than using ''Cheat Engine'' to insert giant penises in sword fighting games. If you piss them off they will [[empty threat|threaten to hack your account]], even though these kids wouldn't know code even if it came up behind them and started to [[rape]] them [[goatse|up the ass]]. These are the same kids who spam links to their shitty places all over the site with the hope of getting place visits, all the while not realizing that [[nobody gives a fuck]] about them, or their shitty places.

==="Trolls" on Roblox===
The "trolls" on Roblox are not really trolls at all, but rather dumb little kids who don't even know what trolling is, or even how to execute it properly. As with most of the kids on this game, they think spamming [[ASCII]] images of [[Hitler]] and [[nigger]] will lower them to [[b/|/b/'s]] standards, as seen on the [[Roblox#Forums|cesspool forums]], before they got nuked by the [[tyrants|staff]]. What usually happens is 1) an admin gets butthurt/offended and, 2) lays down the [[banhammer]], ending the kid's [[fail|"trolling spree"]] immediately. As Roblox has no way of detecting [[sockpuppet]] accounts, they simply create alternate accounts and resuming what they were doing before they got banned.

===Rapists, Sexual Predators, and Everyone Else Who Plays The Game===
Aside from the failtrolls, stupid prepubsencent fucks, and [[hackers on steroids|"hackers"]], the rest of the community are 60 year old predators who want to groom and fuck children, whether online or [[IRL]].

The online daters (often referred to by the community as [[overdose|"ODers"]]) are [[sick fucks]] who [[gay|"roleplay" as a couple]], pretend to kiss, have [[sex]], etc. with their in-game characters. Rarely, some of them of them are 60-year-old internet predators who spend most of their time attempting to [[Chris Hansen|bait little kids online]] and fulfil their sick-ass sexual fantasies with [[children]], but most of them are horny 10 year old boys who have nothing better to do. According to the Rococks Community Rules and Guidelines, online dating is against the rules, yet this "rule" never ever seems to be enforced. Truth be told, people rarely get banned for online dating, even though it's a bannable offense on Roblox's terms.
[[Image:Join the ROBLOX club.jpeg|thumb|center|480px]]

===Games===
Since Roblox is a building game, you'd probably think that the people on the site make cool shit out of Lego bricks, right? Wrong. The Roblox community is terrible with building and coding, and will often copy something decent that somebody else has made in order to gain [[attention whore|attention]] from their fellow community. These stolen versions of games seemingly get more attention and exposure than the original versions. Rarely, something of quality is created; however, it usually doesn't get noticed at all by anyone of significance, considering that it's usually buried under several copies of Welcome to the town of Robloxia.

{{frame|[[File:Roblox Floating Dick.png|720px]] <center>'''Roblox - What will YOU build?'''</center>|border=black|margin=auto}}

Popular games include:

*'''Jailbreak''' - More of a GTA V ripoff but with cops and robbers. Once you arrest a criminal, he or she will always fucking spam the words "Noob" or "Hacker" at you. Normally you will find too many 8 year olds who listen to loud rap music and furries in penguin outfits speed glitching with their fat bellies all over the map. After arresting criminals/camping in the prison to get '''''EZ xd''''' epic arrests, you can either kill yourself or become a criminal. Either option is boring and the game is overplayed and overrated. Sadly, at the time of writing, 45,000 kids are still playing the game, mostly because they're [[Mexico|Mexican]] coke-addicted children that don't know of better games, and therefore, Badimo, the shitty studio, makes more money from kids buying shitty gamepasses in the pay-to-win style of Jailbreak.
*'''Pinewood Computer Core''' - A nuclear reactor game that ended up fucking up the franchise the game was from. Spawned a load of shit reactor games by 2013. The game went from an exploring facility game to a reactor protection game using certain [[Rape|utilities]] the make the temperature go [[Bisexual|up or down]] to prevent a meltdown when occurred at 1200°. And then to random events like a fucking blackout, or a flood of [[Cum|plasma]].
*'''Innovation Inc. Labs''' - Game by madattak who claims he based it off of Pinewood when it barely has anything in common minus being a reactor game. Heavily criticized for being hard to play and being [[ugly]] as fuck.
*'''Phantom Forces''' - A somewhat decent blend-clone of FPS games sadly ruined by its [[autism|shit community]] and Dicksword server. It's [[ At least 100|at least 100 times]] less overrated than Jailbreak is. Also, use the COLT SMG 635 and run M9 as secondary. You'll thank me later. If you're too much of a [[faggot|newbie]] to have that, use the MP5K and M9.
*'''MeepCity''' - A place that rips off both Club Penguin and ToonTown but with a special feature to invite you over sex parties.
*'''Work at a Pizza Place''' - This used to be about making and delivering pizza, but it's now about neglecting your job to just party in your house while the rest of the players, who are actually trying to play the game, suffer. It's even worse because if one person from the team is missing, the entire place goes to shambles, not unlike a freshly blown-up meth lab.
*'''Natural Disaster Survival''' - A game that teaches 11 year olds how to survive a tornado, volcano, tsunami, acid rain, and what not. Is there a blizzard coming? Go to higher ground. Is there a fire that's going out of control? Go to higher ground. Is there a tsunami coming? Go to - wait, that actually makes sense.
*'''Arsenal''' - A rip-off of the [[Counter Strike]] mod 'Gun Game' created by Rocock's shitty [[VALVe]] clone named ROLVe. The only redeeming quality is the fact that some of the weapons are creative and deviate from the "realistic" gameplay found in [[Counter Strike]].
*'''Bee Swarm Simulator''' - A shitty game about collecting pollen and making honey with an army of virtual [[Bee Movie|bees]]. Most of the people that play this have no life whatsoever and often use macros to farm pollen for money.
*'''Pet Simulator 99''' - A game where you collect virtual pets you can trade for money or other rare pets. Everyone who plays this game has a gambling problem or a NFT problem.
*'''Welcome to Bloxburg''' or '''Bloxburg''' - A ripoff of the Sims where you can build your own house and work a shitty day job.
*'''Adopt Me''' - Like MeepCity but without sex parties. Every 8 year old girl plays this game along with Bloxburg.
*'''Mad City''' - Combines all the faults of Jailbreak with it being more of a Pay-To-Win piece of shit.
{{quote|"Users have a choice of over 8,000,000 (eight million) possible games to play, (based on number of users, as of 5-17-2010) varying in design from what the creators of the places want to make. Most of them are made from the free models."|Even Wikipedia acknowledges Roblox's lack of originality.}}

===Notable People===


[[File:RobloxCeoJew.png|thumb|Builderfaggot [[IRL]].]]
[[File:simbuilder charges .png|thumb|Simbuilder's charges.]]
[[File:John Shitletsky Jew.png|thumb|One of the (former) head Jews of Rococks, John Shitletsky.]]

*'''David Baszucki''' or ''' Builderman''' - The four-eyed, bumbling fool [[boss|founder and CEO]] of Shitblox. All of the money from Builders Club sales goes directly to him, should you be [[facepalm|stupid enough to buy it]]. As a typical Jew, he only gives a fuck about money, which is why Roblox turned to shit since around 2010.

*'''Erik Casserole (Erik Cassel)&dagger;''' - A former admin who died of [[cancer]]. Unsurprising, considering this is Roblox. Many people regard him as "the only good admin" of Roblox, while the rest are supposed idiots fucking up the site; the community even blamed Roblox's [[windows|shitty updates]] on Cassel's death.

*'''John Shitletsky''', ''' Shitletsky''' or '''Telamoron''' - The former Uncreative Director of Rococks. He began working for Roblox in 2006 after he graduated from Stanford University, but eventually got bored with everything, so he resigned from Roblox in 2013 to [[shit that will never happen|start his own company]]. This faggot also decided to change his name from "Telamon" to his real-life surname, Shedletsky, for unknown reasons. What's most likely the reason for this is he wanted to look intelligent among Roblox's retarded community, but it only just made him look like more of a self-obsessed faggot with a too much [[USI]]. He had a record

*'''Jack Hendrix''', '''JackInTheBlox''' ([[Powerword]]: Jack DeVries) - Former Rococks admin, [[faggot]] and [[sick fuck]]. Ran a [[tumblr]] page where he uploaded fetish porn, furry porn and nude photos of himself in the desert. Now he works for Fandom and IGN like the stupid fag he is. Used to stream on Roblox's official [[Twitch]] page. Was mentioned in Reuben Sim's lawsuit.

*''' XiaoXiaoMan''' - The supposed [[AVGN]] of Roblox. He is in his 20s and plays a game intended for 7-9 year olds. He owns a YouTube channel that contains a bunch of shitty rant videos protesting Roblox updates, a Roblox game-reviewing series called "Raging Roblox Reviewer", as well as several shitty [[Gmod]] animation videos intended to be [[funny]] to his audience. Once shat on a little girl's dreams over some place review bullshit.

*'''SharpTH''' - A [[fat]] Jew who makes semi-shitty videos and boring places. Made the first version of this article, which was a giant rage-fest.

*'''[[nigger|Julius Coles]]''' - A nigger who steals shit and claims it as his own, like any other nigger. His favorite place is ''Welcome to the town of Robloxia'' so he stole it and renamed it "The different town of Robloxia" which gained over 5,000,000 visits from Roblox's ever-so-gullible userbase. Niggerus Coles also has a YouTube channel where he rants about Roblox and his boring life. Claims that he wants all the Roblox admins to get cancer, despite that [[truth|he fucking loves Roblox]].

*'''JaredValdez''' - [[Fact|The biggest source of rectal inflation and AIDS in Roblox]]. He often spends his time jacking off to anime and listening to [[Gangman Style|over-rated pop music]]. He copies any place the fucktard population of Roblox enjoy and he makes videos of him assaulting a box of Cheerios with his ass. He cannot code, in even simple shitty RBLX Lua. He is currently in a happy fag relationship with [http://www.roblox.com/User.aspx?ID=4339333 Professor G. Ai. Niggertits].

*'''MSE6'''{{muslim}} - A retarded [[Mudslime]] known as [[powerword|"Anna"]] in real life, and possibly the most hated admin on Rococks at one point. Used to give out bans to users like fuck, and earned the ire of the community. One day, she [[murder|suddenly disappeared without a trace...]]

*'''Arthur Sergeevich Trusov''', or '''WhoToTrus''' - An accessory designer, controversial for uploading fursuits and [https://www.roblox.com/catalog/5277679083/The-Transitioning-Concoction HRT] to the catalog. Unsurprisingly, he was caught in sexual roleplay servers on [[Discord]] with minors, where he discussed such things as anal training kits, having gay sex both in public and at furry conventions. Perhaps even more unsurprisingly, he never faced any repercussions from Roblox, and to this day remains part of their selective UGC program.

*'''Arnold Castillo''', '''Jadon Shedletsky''' or '''DoctorRofatnik''' - Developed a [[Sonic]] game, and pretended to be the brother of former admin John Shedletsky in order to groom children. Despite being publicly exposed several times, Roblox kept him on their payroll until he was [https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdin/pr/new-jersey-man-federally-charged-enticement-minor-and-interstate-transportation-minor arrested for abducting an underage girl] he met on their site. He is currently serving life in prison with [[Bubba]] for his crimes.

*'''Austin Reuschle''' or '''Nimblz&dagger;''' - They/them faggot who made a [https://www.roblox.com/games/2747834912/Eg shitty game about being an egg] and a couple other unremarkable games before [[An hero|logging off Roblox (and life) forever]].

*'''Mikhail Olson''' or '''Simbuilder''' - [[Batshit Insane]] Roblox Developer that made a [https://www.roblox.com/games/171391948/Sides-Vehicle-Simulator shitty Forza clone] before going completely insane by smoking insane amounts of [[DMT]]. He showed up to RDC 2023 and was v& almost immediately for [[Trying Too Hard|showing up with a goddamn gun in his car]], Possibly trying to be the Roblox version of [[William Atchison|AlGore]], His game is nothing more than a buggy pile of shit that will never see any updates due to him being [[Fail|permabanned from Roblox]] and is currently facing up to 5 years of [[Rape|goatseating]] from [[Bubba]].

===Roblox "YouTubers"===
Oh boy, you thought this shit was over? No. Some people were fucking retarded enough to make a YouTube living off of this garbage. Here are some examples of such JewTubers:
*'''Flamingo/AlbertsStuff''' - Greasy dyke faggot who thinks making their avatar look like shit is pure [[Lies|comedy.]] Used to swear but doesn't now because [[Pussy|god forbid YouTube lets anyone cuss in a video for ad revenue.]] He also has some fucking shit memes that nobody except of course his fanbase and mentally disabled childrens thinks is funny, like "CHILL", "YO TENGO" (Wow so fucking funny! "I have" in spanish is COMEDY EVERYONE!), "FELIPE" and many more AIDS. He thinks he is a troll because he gets admin commands (or buys to get them) in places. His fanbase is also bad if not worse than Roblox itself. When their god gets called out they will resort to calling them "NOOB" or childish insults.
*'''KonekoKitten''' - Another cunt that also complains about Roblox/YouTube's changes and nothing else. He complains and complains and [[Sad|relies on Roblox for his life and income.]] Got exposed for being a [[pedophile]] and then [[Flounce|took a break from youtube]].
*'''Nathorix/Nattie Forsyth''' - Instead of getting a job at a local McDonalds, this sad excuse of a human instead (like the idiots before him) decided to entertain a bunch of kiddies on this shit platform. Also complains about Roblox updates. He is also a tranny and known pedophile.
*'''InquistorMaster''' - A [[16-year-old girl]] who also relied on Roblox for his crappy YouTube channel. She used to suck cock online (not IRL because she will never ever get one in real life) and date with kids also, clickbaited and she continues to play Roblox much like anyone on Roblox does; and still sucks cock to this day, online.
*'''DenisDaily''' - Another faggot (comparable to Poke) who also gets chased by his autistic fanbase. Also clickbaits, steals videos from other creators and much more.
*'''Remainings''' - Yet another retard-faggot-combo who complains about Roblox updates and makes videos just on Roblox; and nothing else because that's what his fanbase only wants. Much like all fanbases here, he will get usually chased by fanboys freind requesting him.
*'''Greenlegocats123''' - A fucking preacher or the [[Alex Jones]] of Roblox. Constantly bitches about Online Dating, and that they are pedophiles, and the fact that Roblox doesn't do shit for Jew Gold. When in fact nobody gives a single shit. Complains about Roblox updates and "trolls" in various places by replacing the music with various sound effects and music so he doesn't get claimed. Also makes conspiracy videos about Online Dating and whatever with Kevin Macleod music so the kid watching it gets tension as if it is the next Ring movie.
*'''Ruben Sim'''{{nazi}} - Roblox's biggest attention whore. Like Greenlegocats, most of his videos consist of him obsessively A-Logging furries or irrelevant Roblox developers [[Delusional|who he thinks are pedophiles]], Ruben Sim's furry hate is obsessive even by ED standards. One day he got [[permabanned]] from Roblox for his faggotry and decided to make it his entire personality.

If you like or are a fan of any of these YouTubers then [[WTF|what the fuck is wrong with you?]]

===Unabashed Degeneracy===

[[File:Roblox_Catalog_Sexuality_Flags.png|thumb|Roblox now allows people to submit these flags items into a catalog page. Are these people seriously mentally ill?]]
[[File:Roblox Powering Imagination.png|thumb|Have you ever became a waste of sperm? just remember that the people who played "Scented Con" games exist.]]

Oh, did we mention that the platform basically now has places where teens and kids can [[cybersex|have sexual intercourse with their characters]]? These have become known as "Scented cons". Similarly, Roblox has its own new style from the community where people dress up as [[13-year-old boys|slenders]] and [[12-year-old girls|C&P]] (specifically, children [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|trying to act gangsters and sluts]]), which is said by many that most of them online date and that can be described as a monkey fucking a fish. To make matters [[worse than hitler|worse]], there's a shit ton of discord servers related to Roblox that started appearing on [[Discord|Pisscord]] which had to with trading [[CP|nudes]] for Robux currency. Can it get any worse? Imagine how the platform started out by building shlongs into a dating platform itself. From now on, Roblox will remain a dating site for children rather than a time-wasting game.

However, the [[retards|community]], which was made up of 12-year-olds acting like obstinate people, wanted to bring Roblox back to where it was. This is odd, considering they're the ones that have fucked up the platform ever since Erik Cassel died from cancer. The people who said it were definitely users who started two years ago or children who had an unhealthy obsession with wars.

===Events===
Every year since 2011, Rococks has been hosting these summer events to attract more faggots to their shitty online game. There was nothing out of the ordinary about these events; all they did was talk about the next shitty updates they were going to add to their already-shitty game. It also costed a fuckload of real-life money to travel to them, which is why hardly anybody did.

They had six main events so far, including:

*'''Roblox Rally 2011''' - Their first ever real life event, hosted in [[San Francisco]] at the Exploratorium. It was just another piece of shitty Rococks [[propaganda]] that the admins used just to attract more faggots to join their shitty site. There's not really much to say about it other than it was just a big waste of time and money.
*'''Roblox Game Conference 2012''' - Another shitty event, this time it was hosted in Santa Clara, California at the Convention Center. If you bought one of their passes between February 17 and May 14, you got a water bottle and a shitty T-shirt, and a shitty virtual weapon. Again, there was nothing to see.
*'''Bloxcon 2013''' - Possibly their biggest real life shitstorm of an event yet. This event was hosted in three separate areas all in one time frame, as well as they had a "virtual Bloxcon", which was possibly the shittiest of all. It may be the only good event they hosted, but that's highly unlikely considering the severity of the autism of the admins.
*'''Roblox Film Festival 2013''' - A complete shitstorm of lulz and drama. Basically, all you had to do was make a shitty Rococks video with the ''Unregistered Hypercam 2'' logo in the top left-hand corner and then shove it right into the admins' submission box faster than they can take a shit. Nobody actually put much effort into making these so called "movies" whatsoever, and as with the usual nature of Roblox, many players resorted to stealing and copying other peoples' videos and claiming them as their own. There were a few people; however, that managed to get the shitty prize at the end, although their movies were just as shitty as most of the others.
*'''2014 Tour''' - Another fucking event that only showed how burned-out the admins were from last year. How this worked was a few major cities across America would host an exhibiting event known as the Maker Faire. Roblox would have a stake somewhere in this and they would have their own "booth" in the Maker Faire in many of these cities, which required eight people to run. According to the site's shitty blog, if 25 people attended a booth in the Maker Faire, a retarded staff member will show up. This event was nothing out of the ordinary, and nor did it have anything worth seeing, as will most Rococks events.
*'''Virtual Bloxcon 2014''' - Just another shitty online Cockscon. The only difference between this one and the other one was that VB 2014 was online for the whole convention. The admins even recorded it on their shitty [[Twitch]] channel for all to see just how stupid and pointless the whole thing was. Other than the time frame, there's really no difference between the two.

==How Roblox Earns Moneyz==

===Catalog Items===
You pay for these with Roblox's e-currency, known as "ROBUX". Most of the stuff in the game is completely overpriced, with a very few no actual good items.

The item types are:

*'''Hats''' - A piece of shit you wear on your head. [[Team Fortress 2|Sound familiar]]? Most of them are shit that shouldn't have been created in the first place. The only good hats are the Dominus hoods; however, those cost a fuck ton of Robux, and are Limited.
*'''Gear''' - A bunch of shitty knick-knack items that you can't even use in most games. These range from [[gun|powerful weapons]], to useless shit such as "bubble gum" and Easter baskets. No kidding. Of course, the only good weapon is the Darkheart, which does a shit-ton of damage and sometimes even kills in one hit. However, it's a Limited item which means you're never getting your fucking hands on it because [[retards|people]] are selling it for 999,999,999 ROBUX just to show it off. Funny, considering that the original price was only 2000 ROBUX.
*'''Faces''' - Transparent decals on your face that change the way it looks. Very overpriced for what you actually get. The only good one is the Awesome Face, but requires you to connect your Rococks account to your [[Failbook]] account, and show everyone what a fag you are for playing Rococks.
*'''T-shirts''' - Same as faces, but on your front torso. Free users can make them, but not sell them. If Roblox gives free accounts any privileges, this would be the only one.
*'''Shirts and pants''' - Textures for your character. Most of them look like thot outfits and gay supreme hoodies. You'll find tons of this shit being cloned and resold at the catalog because kids that spam them with their cheap bots are nothing but money-hungry cucks. Only BC users can make them, let alone sell them.
*'''Packages''' - Changes the 3D body shape of your character. Now with a shitty Rthro line of packages, which look super fucking ugly and are rarely used for legitimate avatars, also so called "trolls" try to look funny by buying the Penguin because that is comedy AM I RITE?
*'''Animation Packs''' - Sets of animations that change the way your ugly Lego character moves but can only be equipped with R15.
*'''Rthro''' - Roblox's shitty attempt at creating anthropomorphic avatars. Since they are from Roblox, they all look ugly and out of place with Roblox's equally ugly block æsthetic.

{{quote|[[wat|If you live on 4chan, Santa will find you.]]|Santa for all Seasons hat}}

Telamon decided to add [[4chan]] to a description of a hat to fuck with the heads of users, which caused a complete shitstorm of "OMG /b/ IS GOING TO DYSTROI ROBLOXSZ". It has been reported that [[Church of Fudge|RT]] and [[goatse|OT]] of the forums are going to "fight back against 4chan", even though most /b/tards probably don't know what the fuck "ROBLOX" is and don't give a damn. This just shows that the community takes a small joke and makes it a shitstorm of lulz and drama.

===Subscriptions===

In August 2007, Builders club was introduced, along with more shitty features that [[do not want|nobody even wanted]] to begin with. When it was first introduced, everyone lost all of their Robux and went into an intense rage, demanding that the admins revert the update. The admins, being as fucktarded as they are, failed to listen to their userbase requests and went along with it anyway. In [[2008]], the original BC was the only type of premium membership available, with the addition of Turbo Builders Club in 2009. They also introduced another premium membership type, this time "Outrageous Builders Club", which was completely insane and unreasonable, with its ridiculous features that [[nobody|very few people]] will ever use. Eventually, ROBLOX [[Bullshit|did the right thing]] and introduced a generic premium system in place of Builders Club.

==The Forums==

<center>/!\ oy vey the mods shut down the forums because the admins knew the forums were a complete cesspool in the first place /!\</center>

[[Image:PostCountBig.jpg|thumb|left|This does not apply to the Roblox Forum.]]
[[Image:Alalala.png|thumb|A typical thread on the roblox forums.]]
[[Image:Roblox_on_Cancer.png|thumb|The WWC forum is currently developing cancer.]]
[[Image:PENORPOST.JPG|thumb|Typical forum thread.]]
[[Image:Typicalrobloxthread.PNG|thumb|Example of 10 year old kids thinking they're cool for talking about dicks.]]
[[Image:Robloxbritfag1.png|thumb|A typical post from a britfag who forums on Roblox, [[Irony|notice he has less than 1200]] posts.]]
[[Image:Typicalfag.png|thumb| Typical shitty troll thread on the forums.]]

{{quote|[[George Lopez|The next time you see me, you will see a fist with me as well. 5 seconds later, BAM. Then you'll wake up, BAM. YOU'LL WAKE UP AGAIN, BAM. I'll keep doing it over again until you stop waking up.]]|butthurt faggot after being trolled}}

The forums the biggest source of cancer and AIDS on Rococks. This shithole is home to some of the biggest retards on the site. Forums are broken down into sections, and several sub-sections that are spammed constantly by newfags who try to force memes and so called "trolls" who try to act cool. They are notorious for online dating, flame wars, spam, and [[internet sissy fights]]. Usually, when such events occur, the admins are forced to intervene and ban anyone who posts in these threads as a result.

=== Forum Sections===
* '''Roblox Talk (RT)''' - Faggots who think they are the "[[4chan]] of ROBLOX" when they are just a shitty OT ripoff. They don't even talk about Roblox. Whiny cunts who care about the latest hats or the scrotum of the moderators, trying to suck their dicks or underaged cunts as soon as possible to get twenty different hats while you can get a REAL hat. They mostly show off their stupid ass free modeled places and call "RT parties" when they don't know the meaning of "party" and to make themselves feel better.
* '''Let's Make a Deal (LMaD)''' - A bunch of crunk prostitutes who will pay anything, including their virginity, just to make a little virtual fucking money. Usually, they get scammed and get fuck all. Anyone with half a brain would be able to detect these scams that the Roblox community seemingly always falls for. This forum is filled with Builders club members who waste their real life money on a fucking virtual game just to improve their slutty looking characters with ZOMG! Expensive hats! *3xpl0d3s* Too bad IT'S JUST FUCKING PIXELS! These autistic trannies are all fucking minimods.
* '''Off-Topic (OT)''' - You're going to get the worst fucking kind of cancer on the planet if you even step foot here. The forum section that is the best for trolling full of lolcows, furries, niggers, Asians, and even KKK. A bunch of fucking [[children|newfag trolls]] try to patrol the place as the actual redeeming feature, the [[wannabe|GOOD]] trolls, come in and fail troll everyone, making this place the shit of Roblox (shit of shit). Fags who post here use the [[over 9000|shittiest]] [[milhouse|memes]] [[My Little Pony|the]] [[lazor|internet]] has ever been able to offer. Has been slightly redeemed ever since they started [[ban]]ning PewDieCry's butt-buddies and any mention of the unholy [[faggot]] from the forum.
* '''Role-playing Forum ([[Rape|RP]])''' - The biggest furry orgy on the site. Everyone here is either a furry, emo, twi-fag or all of the above.
* '''Clans & Guilds (C&G)''' - Basically the flaming [[shit|HQ]] of ROBLOX. Everyone here is either banned, or is going to be within a month. However, C&G, along with scripers is probably the only two most idiotic forums on ROBLOX. Basically, the people there have an IQ lower than 10 and are full of hypocrites.
* '''Forum [[rule 34|34]] (ID=34)''' - A bunch of homosexual fish came in and started 'sploring the forum section. After a while, they found this forum, and released it to RT and OT. The admins got butthurt and 14 or 7 day ban all the people who posted here. This forum has nothing to do with [[Rule 34]], because everyone on this site has chlamydia, and are pre-pubescent little children with assburgers.
* '''World Wide Chat (WWC)''' - Consists of little kids who think they're cool for swearing in another language on the forum. The place that all the niggers, pollocks, spics and shitskins hang out. Quite like the Blue Oyster. Mainly involves self-important [[americunts]] and enraged [[britfags]] fighting over which tectonic plate their ass rests on.
* '''Scripters''' - Possibly the only fucking people in the shitty site (besides Clans & Guilds) who have IQ's lower than 10, considering "10" is the smallest possible unit above an infinitely negative value.

'''<big>All the other forums are [[Shit_Nobody_Cares_About|shit nobody cares about]] and aren't listed.</big>'''

{{morphquote|forumquotes|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|Get out.|Orobos, some fucking douche with over 10,000 posts and 10,001 less lives than that.
|lol dragon ball dumbshits ftw!!!|Spydeman340. Some kid who whined about his [[shit|RS]] account being hacked to the almighty brother of Orobos, that dumb kid in the quote above.
|dont'n maka fun of dyleicx pepleo!|orangecorn10, a dyslexic 12 year old kid.
|Stop being mean to Anna just because [[Lies|you're not as cool as her.]]|LunaScamander, Anna200's lesbo lover.
|You cyber [[Engrish|bully'd]] a mod like a little wimp. And now, she quit. Who cares if she hated communism. It's an opinion, and you guys have to shove it down each other's throats. Honestly, it's pretty freaking pathetic. Now that I think about it, maybe it would be a good thing if OT ended up getting deleted.|MrRetextureGuy, a faggot who is commonly considered superior in arguments by only himself.
|you people are a enemy to me so i quit but not forever.|A retarded queef whose name isn't worth mentioning.
|[[Lies|Your account is mine tomorrow T^T.]]|This is commonly said by anime-fags who threaten to hack peoples worthless accounts.
|great story tell it again.|conerkorod, a fag forumer.
|whats your best mario kart score? last? HAHAH get served.|LeeGrant72hd, a faggot who calls himself mature.
|You aren't an OTer if you don't have as much posts as me and didn't join before me!|Vunro, <s>some dumbass</s> [[Fag|Faggot]]. Oh, wait, he got deleted, yay.
|In 10-20 years, you guys will have fun playing your "[[Shit|roblox]]", when [[bullshit|I actually have a life]] and you pieces of DIRT STILL PLAY [[Shit|ROBLOX]]!!!!!!!!!!!|Some mentally retarded 10 year old that OD's
|[[Butthurt|NO IM NOT PERMA BANND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]|FastPager200, the dumbest and most butthurt user to ever exist.
|Re:Ported|A Typical [[jewish]] forumer.
}}

===Incidents on the forum===

*In June 2013, a user named "Raychel1010" posted a topic about why people hated her on the forums. Because of this, it caused a massive [[Lulz|chimpout]] on the forums.
*On July 18, 2015, two users named "Tzah"{{jew}} and "vampire" made clickbaits about Russia bombing the US, in which one of them said that he saw war jets fly by his house and the other saying that he saw a Russian plane landing to the ground with troops coming out of it.
*On January 5, 2017, a faggot named "michaellyers8" posted a picture of two of his guns and the coordinates to a high school in Texas, saying that he was going to shoot up his school on April 20, 2017 (the 18th anniversary of [[Columbine]]).
*In late May 2017, a neo-Nazi aspie named "PlanetMofo"{{atheist}} trolled the forums, got banned multiple times, and made other accounts such as "Kid2040" and "PattiMayonnaiseDoug".
*Apparently, some douchebag by the name of Lobolego committed suicide because of the forum. His butthurt girlfriend who misses his rape so, Fuzzyperson, is apparently saddened by that, so she ragequit and got laughed at my moar retards. What a bitch.

===Off topic/World Wide Chat and the Roblox Wikia===
When the polifags of World Wide Chat and the fucktards of Off-Topic found out there was a [[Wiki]] about their useless game, most of them shat bricks and started vandalising the wikia, in a shitty attempt to be funny. Half of them were IP banned from the site, so they can't fuck it up any more. None of them even know what a fucking proxxy is.

But [[you]], however, are already addicted to your computer since its like god to you. And you're reading ED. Why not vandalize the Roblox wikia yourself?
[http://roblox.wikia.com/wiki/ROBLOX_Wiki]

PROTIP: Add ASCII images of Hitler to pages about moderators

==Trolling on Roblox==
Due to Roblox's [[underage|young and immature]] community, trolling is very easy. As many little kids take the game so [[the internet is serious business|seriously]], pissing them off is easier than making porn.

===Game Trolling===

*See two people online dating? Say that the "girl" is a guy, for there are [[no girls on the internet]]. The guy, and the other guy will get [[butthurt]].
*Call everyone a [[n00b]].
*Spawnkill. People will then try to [[crybaby|report you]] and spam [[leetspeak|"0MG H4CKER!!1!1"]] in the chat.
*Insert a giant penis with the word "nigger" on it in insert games.
*Find the most OP weapons on the server and ass ræp everyone.
*Look at the groups that one of the faggots in the server your are in. If they are in any large groups like FEAR (First Encounter Assault Ræp) then say you are a high rank in that group and you will demote them unless they do whatever you say.
*Make swastikas on building games.
*Say that Roblox is filled with autistic, fatass and unproductive people who will never do something productive in real life.
*Tell everyone to go to this page. Watch as people start reading 3 sentences, get butthurt and [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|try to get rid of it]].
*Say that the Pal Hair (or bacon hair as all the Robloxfags call it) is better than every other hat in the catalog. Watch as every faggot that spent their ROBUX on virtual shit get butthurt and will try to prove you wrong.
*If you get admin on a shitty game or joined a free admin game, abuse the absolute shit out of it. Kill, fling, blind, strobe everyone as much as possible before some faggot higher rank than you catch on to what you are doing (because they are a gigantic faggot) and fuck you up.
*In roleplaying games, say that online daters will never find actual girls in real life. Watch every retard get insanely butturt.
*Say that Roblox ripped off Lego. Everyone will get butthurt.
*Say that people that keep playing Roblox are sad losers and will never do anything productive in their lives. Watch as everyone will get butthurt and say that it is for ""fun"". No it's not, retard, for fun there is porn.
*On building games, say that everyone's buildings are shit. Everyone will become butthurt and try to find as many insults to throw on you.
*On building games, destroy someone's shitty building while someone other than you is near it. Watch as the two faggots start arguing.
*Swear on games. To do this you can space out the word, use alternatives or change the letters a bit to not get your message hashtagged. E.g. "YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL NIGHARZ" or "FUHXCK ALL YOU NOOBS LOL".
*<s>On tycoon games, use [[Cheating|Cheat Engine]] to change everyone's money to 0.</s> Since Rococks Developers are so afraid of the concept of [[Skript kiddie|Exploiting Software]], they patch it 24/7 to make sure NO LEET HACKING RUINS THE LIVES OF PEOPLE IN SERVERS.
*Use unpatched exploiting tools to make all the faggots on your server complain.
*Spam in chat things like "DEATH TO NIGHARZ & JEWS"
*Call a Roblox YouTuber gay or a nighar or whatever insult in chat. Watch as butthurt people start building up defending their gods.
*Say that groups have no purpose other than being a fucking waste. People from FEAR or teh United States Roblox Group or every group will get butthurt.

===Group Trolling===

*Do you have promotion/demotion powers? Demote everyone to the lowest rank and watch the owner [[shit bricks]].
*Do you have exile powers? Exile everyone in the group.
*Go to UCR and say you have a good idea for a new logo. The members will get butthurt and say you're destroying clan history.
*Go to RAT and say "Sorry, black and white cant be added to the rainbow, I know how much you guys love both". You may want to spam this, because RAT high ranks take this game seriously.
*Go to FEAR and say that SONIC uses free models. The members will then get insanely butthurt.
*Go to WIJ and say that they caused [[WWII]], as the owner is German.
*Steal an ownerless group, change all rank names to *insert name here* sucks, add the name of player to description, check manual approval, kick all members, and leave the group.
*Find a group that allows non-members to post comments to the wall. Say the group sucks and tell everyone to go [[kill yourself|kill themselves]].
*Have admin powers at a group's place? Admin Abuse the fuck out of it like JC always did.
*Want to troll JC? Go to fort fang and spam "AA" with no end. Bonus points if other raiders join your spamming.

[[File:JEWS_DID_TRA.png|thumb|right|[[Jews did WTC|Jews did TRA, just like they did WTC]].]]

{{quote|This kids, is what goes on at ROBLOX HQ.|A typical Faggot}}

=== ROBLOxeS SUPA InFormATionaTive WIkI PAGE on TrOLLS ===
If you would like a good laugh head here [http://roblox.wikia.com/wiki/Troll]

Here the Rofags Try their best to counter strike the Trolls and Ediots who deface their precious Fuck Buddy Roblox.

*A Pretentious Strike to the "young ruffians!" That Ruin our Wonderful Website! (NOTE, the 1337 Grammer)
{{quote|[[Good spelling|'A troll are known as]] the juvaniles of the internet.}}

They <s>Brainwash</s> "Advise" the Fans of ROcocks, that they are acting mature and calm about trolls rolling in
but as explained in the next section, the entire website falls into chaos and anarchy, the moment 4chan or any particular
Troll posts something.

*Believe your glorious leaders!, and you will be protected
{{quote|[[Liar|Since many forum trolls get banned on the spot]]}}

==Admin [[Fail|fails]]==

===IP Ban===

The admins [[NO|invented]] a [[old|new]] sup3r c00l [[list of sex moves|banning technique]] which totally fucking blocks the ass out of your IP address. The admins, being the dumbasses they are, didn't realize that this method had more holes in it than a dam made out of [[Semen|swiss cheese]]. Hopping onto a proxy and posting on the forums "HAHA MODS AIN'T GOT NUTHIN ON MY PROXIES" will make the admins [[shit bricks]] in utter fury. Seriously, try it. The admins, being desperate, will attempt to [[fail|fucking IP ban your proxy.]] Because there's only one proxy on the whole internet, obviously.

{{quote|Server Error

403 - Forbidden: Access is denied.
You do not have permission to view this directory or page using the credentials that you supplied.|too bad that won't last for long}}

===Poison Ban===

Poison is a bullshit IP ban where it blocks all your proxies. If you're really desperate, you can just goddamn change your IP and make the admins shit bricks.

{{quote|Poison 5/11/2010 2:45:11 PM sending furry porn images to info@roblox.com|this guy seems legit}}

===Roblox TV Commercials===
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|robloxads|background:none; text-align:center;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>SBXfQoDaOu4</youtube> Rococks' first video advertisement.
|<youtube>LHdA7Yc-8Rg</youtube> The second video advertisement.}}
|}

In the time-span of 2011-2012, ROCOCKS released two [[not|"TV commercials"]] to market their shitty game. Note that these shouldn't even be called TV commercials, considering that they never actually aired on real television. Following the release of these "commercials" several community members noticed the commercials weren't even filmed in Roblox, but were done using [[shooping]], [[vidya|video editing]] and green screen effects. The reason for this being is ROCOCKS was (and still is) too buggy to make a high quality advertisement and would likely lag up and crash if they tried to film in it. For the most part, the ads looked too good for a shitty game such as ROBLOX as most people on the site are terrible at building, ironically even the admins.

At the end of the first commercial, they say "IT'S FREE" when it's clearly not, at least if you want to have fun. This caused a lot of [[butthurt]] and [[rage]] among ROBLOX players, and there were even people who [[flounce|threatened to quit ROBLOX]] because of it, [[No|BECAUSE EVERYTHING ON COCKBLOX HAS AND WILL BE FREE AM I RIGHT?]]

===Downtime===

[[File:Roblox is down.png|thumb|center|1000px]]
<center>'''When the abomination finally comes to an end.'''</center>
To everyone's surprise, Roblox is [[shit nobody cares about|currently down]]. This could possibly mean (A) Many autists are still playing the game, which causes the server to crash (B). Roblox hasn't upgraded their servers in 10 years (C). Both of these were the reasons for causing this abomination to die. Of course, the closest answer to fit into this question is definitely C, because Roblox, of course, [[truth|wants your money]] from wasting time on playing simulators, seeing dumb shit that other children interact with the platform, and more. Apparently, Roblox's 13-year-old fanbase still acts like [[cry moar|cry-babies and wants to bitchfight Roblox for not fixing their server right]]. Boo-hoo!

If ROBLOX currently is down, then it's [[unrealistic expectations|everyone's dream come true]].

===Roblox Email===

The only thing that this email is useful for is for cussing out the dumbfuck moderators, and logging into spamming sites with. Below is an excellent example of this.

{{quote|MSE6 IS A PENIS LOVER YEAH YOU HEARD ME MSE6 IS A DAMN WHORE SHE SUCKED TELAMONS TINY PENIS LAST NIGHT TELAMON IS A GODDAMN JEW HES A FUCKING BITCH AND MSE6 FUCKED HIM CUZ SHE DOES EVERYTHING FOR DICKS SHES A SLUT SHE WAS IN BED WITH THAT LITTLE PEDOPHILE ASSHOLE BUILDERMAN AND MRDOOMBRINGER WAS STICKING HIS DICK INTO HOLYMAC'S MOUTH AND EJACULATING ALL OVER HER FACE WHILE REESEMCBLOX WAS WATCHING WITH HER RING FINGER UP HER VAGINA GOD DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SICK HAVING ORGIES LIKE THIS I MEAN FUCKING SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL
MSE6 IS A BITCH|a [[Rage|disgruntled]] kid who repeats the same words in caps to [[internet tough guy|seem tough]]}}

One of the prime ways of trolling the hell out of the mods is doing anything fun, including emailing them [[crap]] such as:

Their email is [mailto:info@roblox.com info@roblox.com]. Go there and [[Shit|lay waste]] to their precious site. NOW.

[[Fail|If you for some reason have a Roblox account]], it is suggested you do this, as you cannot get [[banned]] for this.

===Roblox Ban Appeal===

[[Image:Chro_Came_To_Town.JPG|thumb|[[Fact|Admins suck at coming up with an excuse to ban people]]]]
If you get banned from ROBLOX, which [[fact|you likely will]], you can send the admins an "appeal" email if [[contesting your ban|you believe the ban was improperly placed]]. You may be thinking, "Hmmm. Maybe they will look into the ban, see it from my point of view, and lift it. I better send them an email." Well unfortunately, [[doing it wrong|you are 200% wrong]], faggot. The admins really don't give a fuck about you or your account and nine out of ten times, appealed accounts usually stay banned. Should you [[fail|send them an email]], you'll get a reply from some message bot that doesn't even address you, or the ban on your account. The message is the same for all users who send appeal emails for their account. It's just a bunch of bullshit that reads something to the effect of: ''"Thank you for providing feedback about our moderation system. We have reviewed your ban and have decided that it will not be lifted, etc. etc."'' Many people then proceed to leave Roblox in utter rage, often accompanied by a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-P4cR-8V8w flounce video].

Also when [[YouTube|YouTubers]] that have their videos dead-fucking centered get banned from Roblox, the fickle and impressionable 10 year old fanbase gets super fucking butthurt mode, throwing rocks on Roblox HQ and taking everything off in public as if they are in a fucking revolt.

==Roblox Alternatives==

===Attempts by others===

In [[Lies|2009]], some fag "conceptualized" a game a lot like [[ROBLOX]], as in a complete ripoff. The result was ROBLOX's bastard child, the same thing, but even worse.

A similar shitwad called "BlockCommunity" was made in early 2010, and has been dead aside from some faggots, just go spam the forums with [[CP]], BlockCommunifags then complained about this article on their shitty forums. [http://blockcommunity.net/forum.php?action=list-posts&threadid=13046]. Posted in by all four of the people who use the site, who are the same kind of fags [[Facepalm|who abuse the term "troll" by using it whenever anyone posts anything they don't personally like]].

===Chinese cocksucking===

A greedy Jew-stuffed corporation, Roblox realized that they could suck enough [[Chink|Chinese]] cock and get money for it. The Jewblox owners decided that prostitution would be a great idea, so in 2021, they launched a second (and more Chow Mein-ish) version of the site in China, and named it LuoBuLeSi, but nobody gives a fuck about nerdy names, so everyone just caled it LuoBu. The Chinks were so excited to play the game that the website shut down literally shut down [[Fail|ONLY 7 FUCKING months later]] and promised everyone it would be back in 2024. Great job, dumbasses. Even the communists are pointing and laughing at you.

The [[Communism|CCP]], like the typical corrupt greedy ching-chongs they are, were aware that the creators of LuoBu were Jewish, meaning that they would do anything for money. After hours of having fun with tanks, the butthurt communists paid the retarded kikes into censoring anyone who dares to rightfully and relentlessly bully CCP for being a bunch of wimpy Asian pussies who can't tolerate any criticism. They would pay them off into banning anyone who would mock [[Mao Zedong|Meow "faggotfaced" Zedung]] or call [[Taiwan]] a country. If anyone from outside of China would try to join (actual fucking retards), they would be banned on sight.

Fun fact: Roblox was so confident that they literally just expected/[https://www.vice.com/en/article/wxndpx/revealed-documents-show-how-roblox-planned-to-bend-to-chinese-censorship WANTED] [[Tencent]], the two-faced sacks of shit who run Fortnite, to just copy the game. That's right, they were losing so much money they just wanted someone to just pirate the game. Cuckery.

After selling its asshole to the Chinese black market, LuoBu shut down after 7 months because Asians could care less about them. The Shekelgrabbers got all the money they wanted so now they could leave. After shutting the site down, Roblox realized people didn't miss LuoBu at all. Upon realizing that the Chinese weren't caring as much as they expected, Roblox gave up and deleted 5 million LuoBu accounts and called it a day.

Tl;dr: Jews bought Roblox, made sick trade deals with China, lost all their money by making a godawful ripoff of Roblox, and [[Quit|gave up/quit]] like a bitch.

== See Also ==
*[[Mariozplaze]], [[Fail|yes he even has a RoCocks account]].
*[[Microsoft]]
*[[Windows]]
*[[TheGamerLand]]
*[[AtWar]]
*[[Blockland]]
*[[Minecraft]]

== Links ==
*<s>[http://truthofroblox.wikia.com/wiki/Roblox_Truth_Wiki Encyclopedia Dramatica, Roblox Edition]</s> DEAD
*[[Roblox/Copypasta|Roblox Copypasta story]]
*<s>[http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=25863061 The ROfags' reaction to this article.]</s>, FORUMS GOT BALEETED
*[http://www.roblox.com/ Main site if you're curious].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yB7BSNQstU Roblox on Jewtube]
*[http://blog.roblox.com/ Update news, mainly just consists of virtual clothing that people freak out over because they can't afford it.], [[shit nobody cares about]]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?l0zn0q53mm2 Some guy archived a lulzy spam thread]
*[http://youtube.com/user/Fleskhjerta Fleskhjerta's youtube channel]
*[http://twitter.com/Shedletsky The main admin's twitter.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/XiaoXiaoMan1123 XiaoXiaoMan's JewTube Channel]

{{Web 2.0}}
{{aspies}}
{{gaming}}
{{sites}}
{{Pedoseries}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 9 & July 10, [[2016]]|[[2B2T]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Dallas Sniper Attacks]]}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:10px; right:10px; pointer-events:none">[[File:Rotard_exploitable_fixed.png|125px]]</div>

Roblox

2024-08-26T20:22:49Z

Stooge: Alerted fellow EDiots about whatever the hell is going on right now.

{{OffendedKids}}
{{pedophile}}
{{achtung|SOMETHING IS HAPPENING! TRILLIONS OF ASSETS ARE BEING PUBLISHED EVERY MINUTE. TRY TO PUBLISH AN ASSET RIGHT NOW AND SEE.}}
<table width="325px" align="right" style="border:1px solid black; text-align:center" cellspacing="3">
<tr align="center" style="background:#e2e2e2">
<td colspan="2">[[File:SHITBLOX2022LOGO.png|300px]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Type</th><td>Gayming</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Released</th><td>[[2006]]; ([[2004]]: [[shit no one cares about|private alpha]])</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Website</th><td>[https://www.roblox.com/ www.roblox.com]</td>
</tr>
<tr align="center" style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Key People</th><td>David Baszucki John Shitletsky Erik Casserole[[dead|&dagger;]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Slogans</th><td>"If you can imagine it, you can build it." "Be anything, Build anything." "[[Stupid|Powering Imagination]]"</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Location</th><td>[[OTI]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Headquarters</th><td>San Mateo, [[California]]</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background:#f0af0a">
<th>Industry</th><td>[[Vidya games]]</td>
</tr>
</table>
[[Image:Rococks_sucks.png|thumb|What everyone thinks.]]
[[Image:RobloxGoatse.jpg|thumb|Rococks Goatse.]]
[[Image:Brodie.jpg|thumb|Typical Rococks player.]]
[[Image:FurryWanker.jpg|thumb|Another fucking [[furry]]. at least most of them are banned.]]
[[Image:ZzzDecentCframe.png|thumb|An example of CFraming on Roblox.]]
[[Image:Great_spelling.png|thumb|A great example of how superior the mod's spelling is.]]
{{quote|ROBLOX. [[Lie|IT'S FREE!!!!1!1!]]|The Jews of Rococks in search of money.}}

'''{{PAGENAME}}''' (also known as '''Dynablox''', '''Shitblox''', '''Gayblox''', '''Gooblox''', '''Rococks''' and a whole plethora of other [[shit]]) is a shitty [[Lego]] knockoff made in [[2005]] by a few [[Jews]]. Given how autistic the platform truly is, and its allure to autistic children, it should come as no surprise that 99% of the people who interact with it are fucking retarded. The "objective" of Rococks is to make [[bomb|cool shit]], but since doing so requires having a brain in your fucking skull, this is a goal that is, and forever will be, unattainable by the shitcocks cummunity. Instead what you'll see is perpetual stealing of game assets that the .01% of the community created, spam to hoax/CP/[[warez]] sites to get [[free]] Rocucks, and nauseatingly designed games that have been fine tuned to milk as much of the aforementioned Rocucks out of you.

If the default Roblox experience isn’t fucking you hard enough, you can also subscribe to the [[Scam|overpriced premium membership]].

==The Community==
[[Image:Roblox Best Comment.PNG|thumb|Referring to the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUcIG4VnzaI death sound effect].]]

The community is composed mainly of 10-12 year olds, although the game was designed for 8-18 year olds, "[[trolls]]", [[Columbiners]], and [[Jailbait|online daters.]] With this combination of people, the result is a very cancerous gaming community that is not that great.

==="Hackers" and Spammers===

The kids in the game think they're so funny by spamming their sad attempts at forcing memes all over the [[forums]] that [[Roblox]] removed in 2017, and pretending to be [[script kiddy|"hackers"]] who will take over Roblox and hack your account, or some shit. However, this "hacking" they speak of is nothing more than using ''Cheat Engine'' to insert giant penises in sword fighting games. If you piss them off they will [[empty threat|threaten to hack your account]], even though these kids wouldn't know code even if it came up behind them and started to [[rape]] them [[goatse|up the ass]]. These are the same kids who spam links to their shitty places all over the site with the hope of getting place visits, all the while not realizing that [[nobody gives a fuck]] about them, or their shitty places.

==="Trolls" on Roblox===
The "trolls" on Roblox are not really trolls at all, but rather dumb little kids who don't even know what trolling is, or even how to execute it properly. As with most of the kids on this game, they think spamming [[ASCII]] images of [[Hitler]] and [[nigger]] will lower them to [[b/|/b/'s]] standards, as seen on the [[Roblox#Forums|cesspool forums]], before they got nuked by the [[tyrants|staff]]. What usually happens is 1) an admin gets butthurt/offended and, 2) lays down the [[banhammer]], ending the kid's [[fail|"trolling spree"]] immediately. As Roblox has no way of detecting [[sockpuppet]] accounts, they simply create alternate accounts and resuming what they were doing before they got banned.

===Rapists, Sexual Predators, and Everyone Else Who Plays The Game===
Aside from the failtrolls, stupid prepubsencent fucks, and [[hackers on steroids|"hackers"]], the rest of the community are 60 year old predators who want to groom and fuck children, whether online or [[IRL]].

The online daters (often referred to by the community as [[overdose|"ODers"]]) are [[sick fucks]] who [[gay|"roleplay" as a couple]], pretend to kiss, have [[sex]], etc. with their in-game characters. Rarely, some of them of them are 60-year-old internet predators who spend most of their time attempting to [[Chris Hansen|bait little kids online]] and fulfil their sick-ass sexual fantasies with [[children]], but most of them are horny 10 year old boys who have nothing better to do. According to the Rococks Community Rules and Guidelines, online dating is against the rules, yet this "rule" never ever seems to be enforced. Truth be told, people rarely get banned for online dating, even though it's a bannable offense on Roblox's terms.
[[Image:Join the ROBLOX club.jpeg|thumb|center|480px]]

===Games===
Since Roblox is a building game, you'd probably think that the people on the site make cool shit out of Lego bricks, right? Wrong. The Roblox community is terrible with building and coding, and will often copy something decent that somebody else has made in order to gain [[attention whore|attention]] from their fellow community. These stolen versions of games seemingly get more attention and exposure than the original versions. Rarely, something of quality is created; however, it usually doesn't get noticed at all by anyone of significance, considering that it's usually buried under several copies of Welcome to the town of Robloxia.

{{frame|[[File:Roblox Floating Dick.png|720px]] <center>'''Roblox - What will YOU build?'''</center>|border=black|margin=auto}}

Popular games include:

*'''Jailbreak''' - More of a GTA V ripoff but with cops and robbers. Once you arrest a criminal, he or she will always fucking spam the words "Noob" or "Hacker" at you. Normally you will find too many 8 year olds who listen to loud rap music and furries in penguin outfits speed glitching with their fat bellies all over the map. After arresting criminals/camping in the prison to get '''''EZ xd''''' epic arrests, you can either kill yourself or become a criminal. Either option is boring and the game is overplayed and overrated. Sadly, at the time of writing, 45,000 kids are still playing the game, mostly because they're [[Mexico|Mexican]] coke-addicted children that don't know of better games, and therefore, Badimo, the shitty studio, makes more money from kids buying shitty gamepasses in the pay-to-win style of Jailbreak.
*'''Pinewood Computer Core''' - A nuclear reactor game that ended up fucking up the franchise the game was from. Spawned a load of shit reactor games by 2013. The game went from an exploring facility game to a reactor protection game using certain [[Rape|utilities]] the make the temperature go [[Bisexual|up or down]] to prevent a meltdown when occurred at 1200°. And then to random events like a fucking blackout, or a flood of [[Cum|plasma]].
*'''Innovation Inc. Labs''' - Game by madattak who claims he based it off of Pinewood when it barely has anything in common minus being a reactor game. Heavily criticized for being hard to play and being [[ugly]] as fuck.
*'''Phantom Forces''' - A somewhat decent blend-clone of FPS games sadly ruined by its [[autism|shit community]] and Dicksword server. It's [[ At least 100|at least 100 times]] less overrated than Jailbreak is. Also, use the COLT SMG 635 and run M9 as secondary. You'll thank me later. If you're too much of a [[faggot|newbie]] to have that, use the MP5K and M9.
*'''MeepCity''' - A place that rips off both Club Penguin and ToonTown but with a special feature to invite you over sex parties.
*'''Work at a Pizza Place''' - This used to be about making and delivering pizza, but it's now about neglecting your job to just party in your house while the rest of the players, who are actually trying to play the game, suffer. It's even worse because if one person from the team is missing, the entire place goes to shambles, not unlike a freshly blown-up meth lab.
*'''Natural Disaster Survival''' - A game that teaches 11 year olds how to survive a tornado, volcano, tsunami, acid rain, and what not. Is there a blizzard coming? Go to higher ground. Is there a fire that's going out of control? Go to higher ground. Is there a tsunami coming? Go to - wait, that actually makes sense.
*'''Arsenal''' - A rip-off of the [[Counter Strike]] mod 'Gun Game' created by Rocock's shitty [[VALVe]] clone named ROLVe. The only redeeming quality is the fact that some of the weapons are creative and deviate from the "realistic" gameplay found in [[Counter Strike]].
*'''Bee Swarm Simulator''' - A shitty game about collecting pollen and making honey with an army of virtual [[Bee Movie|bees]]. Most of the people that play this have no life whatsoever and often use macros to farm pollen for money.
*'''Pet Simulator 99''' - A game where you collect virtual pets you can trade for money or other rare pets. Everyone who plays this game has a gambling problem or a NFT problem.
*'''Welcome to Bloxburg''' or '''Bloxburg''' - A ripoff of the Sims where you can build your own house and work a shitty day job.
*'''Adopt Me''' - Like MeepCity but without sex parties. Every 8 year old girl plays this game along with Bloxburg.
*'''Mad City''' - Combines all the faults of Jailbreak with it being more of a Pay-To-Win piece of shit.
{{quote|"Users have a choice of over 8,000,000 (eight million) possible games to play, (based on number of users, as of 5-17-2010) varying in design from what the creators of the places want to make. Most of them are made from the free models."|Even Wikipedia acknowledges Roblox's lack of originality.}}

===Notable People===


[[File:RobloxCeoJew.png|thumb|Builderfaggot [[IRL]].]]
[[File:simbuilder charges .png|thumb|Simbuilder's charges.]]
[[File:John Shitletsky Jew.png|thumb|One of the (former) head Jews of Rococks, John Shitletsky.]]

*'''David Baszucki''' or ''' Builderman''' - The four-eyed, bumbling fool [[boss|founder and CEO]] of Shitblox. All of the money from Builders Club sales goes directly to him, should you be [[facepalm|stupid enough to buy it]]. As a typical Jew, he only gives a fuck about money, which is why Roblox turned to shit since around 2010.

*'''Erik Casserole (Erik Cassel)&dagger;''' - A former admin who died of [[cancer]]. Unsurprising, considering this is Roblox. Many people regard him as "the only good admin" of Roblox, while the rest are supposed idiots fucking up the site; the community even blamed Roblox's [[windows|shitty updates]] on Cassel's death.

*'''John Shitletsky''', ''' Shitletsky''' or '''Telamoron''' - The former Uncreative Director of Rococks. He began working for Roblox in 2006 after he graduated from Stanford University, but eventually got bored with everything, so he resigned from Roblox in 2013 to [[shit that will never happen|start his own company]]. This faggot also decided to change his name from "Telamon" to his real-life surname, Shedletsky, for unknown reasons. What's most likely the reason for this is he wanted to look intelligent among Roblox's retarded community, but it only just made him look like more of a self-obsessed faggot with a too much [[USI]]. He had a record

*'''Jack Hendrix''', '''JackInTheBlox''' ([[Powerword]]: Jack DeVries) - Former Rococks admin, [[faggot]] and [[sick fuck]]. Ran a [[tumblr]] page where he uploaded fetish porn, furry porn and nude photos of himself in the desert. Now he works for Fandom and IGN like the stupid fag he is. Used to stream on Roblox's official [[Twitch]] page. Was mentioned in Reuben Sim's lawsuit.

*''' XiaoXiaoMan''' - The supposed [[AVGN]] of Roblox. He is in his 20s and plays a game intended for 7-9 year olds. He owns a YouTube channel that contains a bunch of shitty rant videos protesting Roblox updates, a Roblox game-reviewing series called "Raging Roblox Reviewer", as well as several shitty [[Gmod]] animation videos intended to be [[funny]] to his audience. Once shat on a little girl's dreams over some place review bullshit.

*'''SharpTH''' - A [[fat]] Jew who makes semi-shitty videos and boring places. Made the first version of this article, which was a giant rage-fest.

*'''[[nigger|Julius Coles]]''' - A nigger who steals shit and claims it as his own, like any other nigger. His favorite place is ''Welcome to the town of Robloxia'' so he stole it and renamed it "The different town of Robloxia" which gained over 5,000,000 visits from Roblox's ever-so-gullible userbase. Niggerus Coles also has a YouTube channel where he rants about Roblox and his boring life. Claims that he wants all the Roblox admins to get cancer, despite that [[truth|he fucking loves Roblox]].

*'''JaredValdez''' - [[Fact|The biggest source of rectal inflation and AIDS in Roblox]]. He often spends his time jacking off to anime and listening to [[Gangman Style|over-rated pop music]]. He copies any place the fucktard population of Roblox enjoy and he makes videos of him assaulting a box of Cheerios with his ass. He cannot code, in even simple shitty RBLX Lua. He is currently in a happy fag relationship with [http://www.roblox.com/User.aspx?ID=4339333 Professor G. Ai. Niggertits].

*'''MSE6'''{{muslim}} - A retarded [[Mudslime]] known as [[powerword|"Anna"]] in real life, and possibly the most hated admin on Rococks at one point. Used to give out bans to users like fuck, and earned the ire of the community. One day, she [[murder|suddenly disappeared without a trace...]]

*'''Arthur Sergeevich Trusov''', or '''WhoToTrus''' - An accessory designer, controversial for uploading fursuits and [https://www.roblox.com/catalog/5277679083/The-Transitioning-Concoction HRT] to the catalog. Unsurprisingly, he was caught in sexual roleplay servers on [[Discord]] with minors, where he discussed such things as anal training kits, having gay sex both in public and at furry conventions. Perhaps even more unsurprisingly, he never faced any repercussions from Roblox, and to this day remains part of their selective UGC program.

*'''Arnold Castillo''', '''Jadon Shedletsky''' or '''DoctorRofatnik''' - Developed a [[Sonic]] game, and pretended to be the brother of former admin John Shedletsky in order to groom children. Despite being publicly exposed several times, Roblox kept him on their payroll until he was [https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdin/pr/new-jersey-man-federally-charged-enticement-minor-and-interstate-transportation-minor arrested for abducting an underage girl] he met on their site. He is currently serving life in prison with [[Bubba]] for his crimes.

*'''Austin Reuschle''' or '''Nimblz&dagger;''' - They/them faggot who made a [https://www.roblox.com/games/2747834912/Eg shitty game about being an egg] and a couple other unremarkable games before [[An hero|logging off Roblox (and life) forever]].

*'''Mikhail Olson''' or '''Simbuilder''' - [[Batshit Insane]] Roblox Developer that made a [https://www.roblox.com/games/171391948/Sides-Vehicle-Simulator shitty Forza clone] before going completely insane by smoking insane amounts of [[DMT]]. He showed up to RDC 2023 and was v& almost immediately for [[Trying Too Hard|showing up with a goddamn gun in his car]], Possibly trying to be the Roblox version of [[William Atchison|AlGore]], His game is nothing more than a buggy pile of shit that will never see any updates due to him being [[Fail|permabanned from Roblox]] and is currently facing up to 5 years of [[Rape|goatseating]] from [[Bubba]].

===Roblox "YouTubers"===
Oh boy, you thought this shit was over? No. Some people were fucking retarded enough to make a YouTube living off of this garbage. Here are some examples of such JewTubers:
*'''Flamingo/AlbertsStuff''' - Greasy dyke faggot who thinks making their avatar look like shit is pure [[Lies|comedy.]] Used to swear but doesn't now because [[Pussy|god forbid YouTube lets anyone cuss in a video for ad revenue.]] He also has some fucking shit memes that nobody except of course his fanbase and mentally disabled childrens thinks is funny, like "CHILL", "YO TENGO" (Wow so fucking funny! "I have" in spanish is COMEDY EVERYONE!), "FELIPE" and many more AIDS. He thinks he is a troll because he gets admin commands (or buys to get them) in places. His fanbase is also bad if not worse than Roblox itself. When their god gets called out they will resort to calling them "NOOB" or childish insults.
*'''KonekoKitten''' - Another cunt that also complains about Roblox/YouTube's changes and nothing else. He complains and complains and [[Sad|relies on Roblox for his life and income.]] Got exposed for being a [[pedophile]] and then [[Flounce|took a break from youtube]].
*'''Nathorix/Nattie Forsyth''' - Instead of getting a job at a local McDonalds, this sad excuse of a human instead (like the idiots before him) decided to entertain a bunch of kiddies on this shit platform. Also complains about Roblox updates. He is also a tranny and known pedophile.
*'''InquistorMaster''' - A [[16-year-old girl]] who also relied on Roblox for his crappy YouTube channel. She used to suck cock online (not IRL because she will never ever get one in real life) and date with kids also, clickbaited and she continues to play Roblox much like anyone on Roblox does; and still sucks cock to this day, online.
*'''DenisDaily''' - Another faggot (comparable to Poke) who also gets chased by his autistic fanbase. Also clickbaits, steals videos from other creators and much more.
*'''Remainings''' - Yet another retard-faggot-combo who complains about Roblox updates and makes videos just on Roblox; and nothing else because that's what his fanbase only wants. Much like all fanbases here, he will get usually chased by fanboys freind requesting him.
*'''Greenlegocats123''' - A fucking preacher or the [[Alex Jones]] of Roblox. Constantly bitches about Online Dating, and that they are pedophiles, and the fact that Roblox doesn't do shit for Jew Gold. When in fact nobody gives a single shit. Complains about Roblox updates and "trolls" in various places by replacing the music with various sound effects and music so he doesn't get claimed. Also makes conspiracy videos about Online Dating and whatever with Kevin Macleod music so the kid watching it gets tension as if it is the next Ring movie.
*'''Ruben Sim'''{{nazi}} - Roblox's biggest attention whore. Like Greenlegocats, most of his videos consist of him obsessively A-Logging furries or irrelevant Roblox developers [[Delusional|who he thinks are pedophiles]], Ruben Sim's furry hate is obsessive even by ED standards. One day he got [[permabanned]] from Roblox for his faggotry and decided to make it his entire personality.

If you like or are a fan of any of these YouTubers then [[WTF|what the fuck is wrong with you?]]

===Unabashed Degeneracy===

[[File:Roblox_Catalog_Sexuality_Flags.png|thumb|Roblox now allows people to submit these flags items into a catalog page. Are these people seriously mentally ill?]]
[[File:Roblox Powering Imagination.png|thumb|Have you ever became a waste of sperm? just remember that the people who played "Scented Con" games exist.]]

Oh, did we mention that the platform basically now has places where teens and kids can [[cybersex|have sexual intercourse with their characters]]? These have become known as "Scented cons". Similarly, Roblox has its own new style from the community where people dress up as [[13-year-old boys|slenders]] and [[12-year-old girls|C&P]] (specifically, children [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|trying to act gangsters and sluts]]), which is said by many that most of them online date and that can be described as a monkey fucking a fish. To make matters [[worse than hitler|worse]], there's a shit ton of discord servers related to Roblox that started appearing on [[Discord|Pisscord]] which had to with trading [[CP|nudes]] for Robux currency. Can it get any worse? Imagine how the platform started out by building shlongs into a dating platform itself. From now on, Roblox will remain a dating site for children rather than a time-wasting game.

However, the [[retards|community]], which was made up of 12-year-olds acting like obstinate people, wanted to bring Roblox back to where it was. This is odd, considering they're the ones that have fucked up the platform ever since Erik Cassel died from cancer. The people who said it were definitely users who started two years ago or children who had an unhealthy obsession with wars.

===Events===
Every year since 2011, Rococks has been hosting these summer events to attract more faggots to their shitty online game. There was nothing out of the ordinary about these events; all they did was talk about the next shitty updates they were going to add to their already-shitty game. It also costed a fuckload of real-life money to travel to them, which is why hardly anybody did.

They had six main events so far, including:

*'''Roblox Rally 2011''' - Their first ever real life event, hosted in [[San Francisco]] at the Exploratorium. It was just another piece of shitty Rococks [[propaganda]] that the admins used just to attract more faggots to join their shitty site. There's not really much to say about it other than it was just a big waste of time and money.
*'''Roblox Game Conference 2012''' - Another shitty event, this time it was hosted in Santa Clara, California at the Convention Center. If you bought one of their passes between February 17 and May 14, you got a water bottle and a shitty T-shirt, and a shitty virtual weapon. Again, there was nothing to see.
*'''Bloxcon 2013''' - Possibly their biggest real life shitstorm of an event yet. This event was hosted in three separate areas all in one time frame, as well as they had a "virtual Bloxcon", which was possibly the shittiest of all. It may be the only good event they hosted, but that's highly unlikely considering the severity of the autism of the admins.
*'''Roblox Film Festival 2013''' - A complete shitstorm of lulz and drama. Basically, all you had to do was make a shitty Rococks video with the ''Unregistered Hypercam 2'' logo in the top left-hand corner and then shove it right into the admins' submission box faster than they can take a shit. Nobody actually put much effort into making these so called "movies" whatsoever, and as with the usual nature of Roblox, many players resorted to stealing and copying other peoples' videos and claiming them as their own. There were a few people; however, that managed to get the shitty prize at the end, although their movies were just as shitty as most of the others.
*'''2014 Tour''' - Another fucking event that only showed how burned-out the admins were from last year. How this worked was a few major cities across America would host an exhibiting event known as the Maker Faire. Roblox would have a stake somewhere in this and they would have their own "booth" in the Maker Faire in many of these cities, which required eight people to run. According to the site's shitty blog, if 25 people attended a booth in the Maker Faire, a retarded staff member will show up. This event was nothing out of the ordinary, and nor did it have anything worth seeing, as will most Rococks events.
*'''Virtual Bloxcon 2014''' - Just another shitty online Cockscon. The only difference between this one and the other one was that VB 2014 was online for the whole convention. The admins even recorded it on their shitty [[Twitch]] channel for all to see just how stupid and pointless the whole thing was. Other than the time frame, there's really no difference between the two.

==How Roblox Earns Moneyz==

===Catalog Items===
You pay for these with Roblox's e-currency, known as "ROBUX". Most of the stuff in the game is completely overpriced, with a very few no actual good items.

The item types are:

*'''Hats''' - A piece of shit you wear on your head. [[Team Fortress 2|Sound familiar]]? Most of them are shit that shouldn't have been created in the first place. The only good hats are the Dominus hoods; however, those cost a fuck ton of Robux, and are Limited.
*'''Gear''' - A bunch of shitty knick-knack items that you can't even use in most games. These range from [[gun|powerful weapons]], to useless shit such as "bubble gum" and Easter baskets. No kidding. Of course, the only good weapon is the Darkheart, which does a shit-ton of damage and sometimes even kills in one hit. However, it's a Limited item which means you're never getting your fucking hands on it because [[retards|people]] are selling it for 999,999,999 ROBUX just to show it off. Funny, considering that the original price was only 2000 ROBUX.
*'''Faces''' - Transparent decals on your face that change the way it looks. Very overpriced for what you actually get. The only good one is the Awesome Face, but requires you to connect your Rococks account to your [[Failbook]] account, and show everyone what a fag you are for playing Rococks.
*'''T-shirts''' - Same as faces, but on your front torso. Free users can make them, but not sell them. If Roblox gives free accounts any privileges, this would be the only one.
*'''Shirts and pants''' - Textures for your character. Most of them look like thot outfits and gay supreme hoodies. You'll find tons of this shit being cloned and resold at the catalog because kids that spam them with their cheap bots are nothing but money-hungry cucks. Only BC users can make them, let alone sell them.
*'''Packages''' - Changes the 3D body shape of your character. Now with a shitty Rthro line of packages, which look super fucking ugly and are rarely used for legitimate avatars, also so called "trolls" try to look funny by buying the Penguin because that is comedy AM I RITE?
*'''Animation Packs''' - Sets of animations that change the way your ugly Lego character moves but can only be equipped with R15.
*'''Rthro''' - Roblox's shitty attempt at creating anthropomorphic avatars. Since they are from Roblox, they all look ugly and out of place with Roblox's equally ugly block æsthetic.

{{quote|[[wat|If you live on 4chan, Santa will find you.]]|Santa for all Seasons hat}}

Telamon decided to add [[4chan]] to a description of a hat to fuck with the heads of users, which caused a complete shitstorm of "OMG /b/ IS GOING TO DYSTROI ROBLOXSZ". It has been reported that [[Church of Fudge|RT]] and [[goatse|OT]] of the forums are going to "fight back against 4chan", even though most /b/tards probably don't know what the fuck "ROBLOX" is and don't give a damn. This just shows that the community takes a small joke and makes it a shitstorm of lulz and drama.

===Subscriptions===

In August 2007, Builders club was introduced, along with more shitty features that [[do not want|nobody even wanted]] to begin with. When it was first introduced, everyone lost all of their Robux and went into an intense rage, demanding that the admins revert the update. The admins, being as fucktarded as they are, failed to listen to their userbase requests and went along with it anyway. In [[2008]], the original BC was the only type of premium membership available, with the addition of Turbo Builders Club in 2009. They also introduced another premium membership type, this time "Outrageous Builders Club", which was completely insane and unreasonable, with its ridiculous features that [[nobody|very few people]] will ever use. Eventually, ROBLOX [[Bullshit|did the right thing]] and introduced a generic premium system in place of Builders Club.

==The Forums==

<center>/!\ oy vey the mods shut down the forums because the admins knew the forums were a complete cesspool in the first place /!\</center>

[[Image:PostCountBig.jpg|thumb|left|This does not apply to the Roblox Forum.]]
[[Image:Alalala.png|thumb|A typical thread on the roblox forums.]]
[[Image:Roblox_on_Cancer.png|thumb|The WWC forum is currently developing cancer.]]
[[Image:PENORPOST.JPG|thumb|Typical forum thread.]]
[[Image:Typicalrobloxthread.PNG|thumb|Example of 10 year old kids thinking they're cool for talking about dicks.]]
[[Image:Robloxbritfag1.png|thumb|A typical post from a britfag who forums on Roblox, [[Irony|notice he has less than 1200]] posts.]]
[[Image:Typicalfag.png|thumb| Typical shitty troll thread on the forums.]]

{{quote|[[George Lopez|The next time you see me, you will see a fist with me as well. 5 seconds later, BAM. Then you'll wake up, BAM. YOU'LL WAKE UP AGAIN, BAM. I'll keep doing it over again until you stop waking up.]]|butthurt faggot after being trolled}}

The forums the biggest source of cancer and AIDS on Rococks. This shithole is home to some of the biggest retards on the site. Forums are broken down into sections, and several sub-sections that are spammed constantly by newfags who try to force memes and so called "trolls" who try to act cool. They are notorious for online dating, flame wars, spam, and [[internet sissy fights]]. Usually, when such events occur, the admins are forced to intervene and ban anyone who posts in these threads as a result.

=== Forum Sections===
* '''Roblox Talk (RT)''' - Faggots who think they are the "[[4chan]] of ROBLOX" when they are just a shitty OT ripoff. They don't even talk about Roblox. Whiny cunts who care about the latest hats or the scrotum of the moderators, trying to suck their dicks or underaged cunts as soon as possible to get twenty different hats while you can get a REAL hat. They mostly show off their stupid ass free modeled places and call "RT parties" when they don't know the meaning of "party" and to make themselves feel better.
* '''Let's Make a Deal (LMaD)''' - A bunch of crunk prostitutes who will pay anything, including their virginity, just to make a little virtual fucking money. Usually, they get scammed and get fuck all. Anyone with half a brain would be able to detect these scams that the Roblox community seemingly always falls for. This forum is filled with Builders club members who waste their real life money on a fucking virtual game just to improve their slutty looking characters with ZOMG! Expensive hats! *3xpl0d3s* Too bad IT'S JUST FUCKING PIXELS! These autistic trannies are all fucking minimods.
* '''Off-Topic (OT)''' - You're going to get the worst fucking kind of cancer on the planet if you even step foot here. The forum section that is the best for trolling full of lolcows, furries, niggers, Asians, and even KKK. A bunch of fucking [[children|newfag trolls]] try to patrol the place as the actual redeeming feature, the [[wannabe|GOOD]] trolls, come in and fail troll everyone, making this place the shit of Roblox (shit of shit). Fags who post here use the [[over 9000|shittiest]] [[milhouse|memes]] [[My Little Pony|the]] [[lazor|internet]] has ever been able to offer. Has been slightly redeemed ever since they started [[ban]]ning PewDieCry's butt-buddies and any mention of the unholy [[faggot]] from the forum.
* '''Role-playing Forum ([[Rape|RP]])''' - The biggest furry orgy on the site. Everyone here is either a furry, emo, twi-fag or all of the above.
* '''Clans & Guilds (C&G)''' - Basically the flaming [[shit|HQ]] of ROBLOX. Everyone here is either banned, or is going to be within a month. However, C&G, along with scripers is probably the only two most idiotic forums on ROBLOX. Basically, the people there have an IQ lower than 10 and are full of hypocrites.
* '''Forum [[rule 34|34]] (ID=34)''' - A bunch of homosexual fish came in and started 'sploring the forum section. After a while, they found this forum, and released it to RT and OT. The admins got butthurt and 14 or 7 day ban all the people who posted here. This forum has nothing to do with [[Rule 34]], because everyone on this site has chlamydia, and are pre-pubescent little children with assburgers.
* '''World Wide Chat (WWC)''' - Consists of little kids who think they're cool for swearing in another language on the forum. The place that all the niggers, pollocks, spics and shitskins hang out. Quite like the Blue Oyster. Mainly involves self-important [[americunts]] and enraged [[britfags]] fighting over which tectonic plate their ass rests on.
* '''Scripters''' - Possibly the only fucking people in the shitty site (besides Clans & Guilds) who have IQ's lower than 10, considering "10" is the smallest possible unit above an infinitely negative value.

'''<big>All the other forums are [[Shit_Nobody_Cares_About|shit nobody cares about]] and aren't listed.</big>'''

{{morphquote|forumquotes|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|Get out.|Orobos, some fucking douche with over 10,000 posts and 10,001 less lives than that.
|lol dragon ball dumbshits ftw!!!|Spydeman340. Some kid who whined about his [[shit|RS]] account being hacked to the almighty brother of Orobos, that dumb kid in the quote above.
|dont'n maka fun of dyleicx pepleo!|orangecorn10, a dyslexic 12 year old kid.
|Stop being mean to Anna just because [[Lies|you're not as cool as her.]]|LunaScamander, Anna200's lesbo lover.
|You cyber [[Engrish|bully'd]] a mod like a little wimp. And now, she quit. Who cares if she hated communism. It's an opinion, and you guys have to shove it down each other's throats. Honestly, it's pretty freaking pathetic. Now that I think about it, maybe it would be a good thing if OT ended up getting deleted.|MrRetextureGuy, a faggot who is commonly considered superior in arguments by only himself.
|you people are a enemy to me so i quit but not forever.|A retarded queef whose name isn't worth mentioning.
|[[Lies|Your account is mine tomorrow T^T.]]|This is commonly said by anime-fags who threaten to hack peoples worthless accounts.
|great story tell it again.|conerkorod, a fag forumer.
|whats your best mario kart score? last? HAHAH get served.|LeeGrant72hd, a faggot who calls himself mature.
|You aren't an OTer if you don't have as much posts as me and didn't join before me!|Vunro, <s>some dumbass</s> [[Fag|Faggot]]. Oh, wait, he got deleted, yay.
|In 10-20 years, you guys will have fun playing your "[[Shit|roblox]]", when [[bullshit|I actually have a life]] and you pieces of DIRT STILL PLAY [[Shit|ROBLOX]]!!!!!!!!!!!|Some mentally retarded 10 year old that OD's
|[[Butthurt|NO IM NOT PERMA BANND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]|FastPager200, the dumbest and most butthurt user to ever exist.
|Re:Ported|A Typical [[jewish]] forumer.
}}

===Incidents on the forum===

*In June 2013, a user named "Raychel1010" posted a topic about why people hated her on the forums. Because of this, it caused a massive [[Lulz|chimpout]] on the forums.
*On July 18, 2015, two users named "Tzah"{{jew}} and "vampire" made clickbaits about Russia bombing the US, in which one of them said that he saw war jets fly by his house and the other saying that he saw a Russian plane landing to the ground with troops coming out of it.
*On January 5, 2017, a faggot named "michaellyers8" posted a picture of two of his guns and the coordinates to a high school in Texas, saying that he was going to shoot up his school on April 20, 2017 (the 18th anniversary of [[Columbine]]).
*In late May 2017, a neo-Nazi aspie named "PlanetMofo"{{atheist}} trolled the forums, got banned multiple times, and made other accounts such as "Kid2040" and "PattiMayonnaiseDoug".
*Apparently, some douchebag by the name of Lobolego committed suicide because of the forum. His butthurt girlfriend who misses his rape so, Fuzzyperson, is apparently saddened by that, so she ragequit and got laughed at my moar retards. What a bitch.

===Off topic/World Wide Chat and the Roblox Wikia===
When the polifags of World Wide Chat and the fucktards of Off-Topic found out there was a [[Wiki]] about their useless game, most of them shat bricks and started vandalising the wikia, in a shitty attempt to be funny. Half of them were IP banned from the site, so they can't fuck it up any more. None of them even know what a fucking proxxy is.

But [[you]], however, are already addicted to your computer since its like god to you. And you're reading ED. Why not vandalize the Roblox wikia yourself?
[http://roblox.wikia.com/wiki/ROBLOX_Wiki]

PROTIP: Add ASCII images of Hitler to pages about moderators

==Trolling on Roblox==
Due to Roblox's [[underage|young and immature]] community, trolling is very easy. As many little kids take the game so [[the internet is serious business|seriously]], pissing them off is easier than making porn.

===Game Trolling===

*See two people online dating? Say that the "girl" is a guy, for there are [[no girls on the internet]]. The guy, and the other guy will get [[butthurt]].
*Call everyone a [[n00b]].
*Spawnkill. People will then try to [[crybaby|report you]] and spam [[leetspeak|"0MG H4CKER!!1!1"]] in the chat.
*Insert a giant penis with the word "nigger" on it in insert games.
*Find the most OP weapons on the server and ass ræp everyone.
*Look at the groups that one of the faggots in the server your are in. If they are in any large groups like FEAR (First Encounter Assault Ræp) then say you are a high rank in that group and you will demote them unless they do whatever you say.
*Make swastikas on building games.
*Say that Roblox is filled with autistic, fatass and unproductive people who will never do something productive in real life.
*Tell everyone to go to this page. Watch as people start reading 3 sentences, get butthurt and [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|try to get rid of it]].
*Say that the Pal Hair (or bacon hair as all the Robloxfags call it) is better than every other hat in the catalog. Watch as every faggot that spent their ROBUX on virtual shit get butthurt and will try to prove you wrong.
*If you get admin on a shitty game or joined a free admin game, abuse the absolute shit out of it. Kill, fling, blind, strobe everyone as much as possible before some faggot higher rank than you catch on to what you are doing (because they are a gigantic faggot) and fuck you up.
*In roleplaying games, say that online daters will never find actual girls in real life. Watch every retard get insanely butturt.
*Say that Roblox ripped off Lego. Everyone will get butthurt.
*Say that people that keep playing Roblox are sad losers and will never do anything productive in their lives. Watch as everyone will get butthurt and say that it is for ""fun"". No it's not, retard, for fun there is porn.
*On building games, say that everyone's buildings are shit. Everyone will become butthurt and try to find as many insults to throw on you.
*On building games, destroy someone's shitty building while someone other than you is near it. Watch as the two faggots start arguing.
*Swear on games. To do this you can space out the word, use alternatives or change the letters a bit to not get your message hashtagged. E.g. "YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL NIGHARZ" or "FUHXCK ALL YOU NOOBS LOL".
*<s>On tycoon games, use [[Cheating|Cheat Engine]] to change everyone's money to 0.</s> Since Rococks Developers are so afraid of the concept of [[Skript kiddie|Exploiting Software]], they patch it 24/7 to make sure NO LEET HACKING RUINS THE LIVES OF PEOPLE IN SERVERS.
*Use unpatched exploiting tools to make all the faggots on your server complain.
*Spam in chat things like "DEATH TO NIGHARZ & JEWS"
*Call a Roblox YouTuber gay or a nighar or whatever insult in chat. Watch as butthurt people start building up defending their gods.
*Say that groups have no purpose other than being a fucking waste. People from FEAR or teh United States Roblox Group or every group will get butthurt.

===Group Trolling===

*Do you have promotion/demotion powers? Demote everyone to the lowest rank and watch the owner [[shit bricks]].
*Do you have exile powers? Exile everyone in the group.
*Go to UCR and say you have a good idea for a new logo. The members will get butthurt and say you're destroying clan history.
*Go to RAT and say "Sorry, black and white cant be added to the rainbow, I know how much you guys love both". You may want to spam this, because RAT high ranks take this game seriously.
*Go to FEAR and say that SONIC uses free models. The members will then get insanely butthurt.
*Go to WIJ and say that they caused [[WWII]], as the owner is German.
*Steal an ownerless group, change all rank names to *insert name here* sucks, add the name of player to description, check manual approval, kick all members, and leave the group.
*Find a group that allows non-members to post comments to the wall. Say the group sucks and tell everyone to go [[kill yourself|kill themselves]].
*Have admin powers at a group's place? Admin Abuse the fuck out of it like JC always did.
*Want to troll JC? Go to fort fang and spam "AA" with no end. Bonus points if other raiders join your spamming.

[[File:JEWS_DID_TRA.png|thumb|right|[[Jews did WTC|Jews did TRA, just like they did WTC]].]]

{{quote|This kids, is what goes on at ROBLOX HQ.|A typical Faggot}}

=== ROBLOxeS SUPA InFormATionaTive WIkI PAGE on TrOLLS ===
If you would like a good laugh head here [http://roblox.wikia.com/wiki/Troll]

Here the Rofags Try their best to counter strike the Trolls and Ediots who deface their precious Fuck Buddy Roblox.

*A Pretentious Strike to the "young ruffians!" That Ruin our Wonderful Website! (NOTE, the 1337 Grammer)
{{quote|[[Good spelling|'A troll are known as]] the juvaniles of the internet.}}

They <s>Brainwash</s> "Advise" the Fans of ROcocks, that they are acting mature and calm about trolls rolling in
but as explained in the next section, the entire website falls into chaos and anarchy, the moment 4chan or any particular
Troll posts something.

*Believe your glorious leaders!, and you will be protected
{{quote|[[Liar|Since many forum trolls get banned on the spot]]}}

==Admin [[Fail|fails]]==

===IP Ban===

The admins [[NO|invented]] a [[old|new]] sup3r c00l [[list of sex moves|banning technique]] which totally fucking blocks the ass out of your IP address. The admins, being the dumbasses they are, didn't realize that this method had more holes in it than a dam made out of [[Semen|swiss cheese]]. Hopping onto a proxy and posting on the forums "HAHA MODS AIN'T GOT NUTHIN ON MY PROXIES" will make the admins [[shit bricks]] in utter fury. Seriously, try it. The admins, being desperate, will attempt to [[fail|fucking IP ban your proxy.]] Because there's only one proxy on the whole internet, obviously.

{{quote|Server Error

403 - Forbidden: Access is denied.
You do not have permission to view this directory or page using the credentials that you supplied.|too bad that won't last for long}}

===Poison Ban===

Poison is a bullshit IP ban where it blocks all your proxies. If you're really desperate, you can just goddamn change your IP and make the admins shit bricks.

{{quote|Poison 5/11/2010 2:45:11 PM sending furry porn images to info@roblox.com|this guy seems legit}}

===Roblox TV Commercials===
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|robloxads|background:none; text-align:center;|font-weight:bold
|<youtube>SBXfQoDaOu4</youtube> Rococks' first video advertisement.
|<youtube>LHdA7Yc-8Rg</youtube> The second video advertisement.}}
|}

In the time-span of 2011-2012, ROCOCKS released two [[not|"TV commercials"]] to market their shitty game. Note that these shouldn't even be called TV commercials, considering that they never actually aired on real television. Following the release of these "commercials" several community members noticed the commercials weren't even filmed in Roblox, but were done using [[shooping]], [[vidya|video editing]] and green screen effects. The reason for this being is ROCOCKS was (and still is) too buggy to make a high quality advertisement and would likely lag up and crash if they tried to film in it. For the most part, the ads looked too good for a shitty game such as ROBLOX as most people on the site are terrible at building, ironically even the admins.

At the end of the first commercial, they say "IT'S FREE" when it's clearly not, at least if you want to have fun. This caused a lot of [[butthurt]] and [[rage]] among ROBLOX players, and there were even people who [[flounce|threatened to quit ROBLOX]] because of it, [[No|BECAUSE EVERYTHING ON COCKBLOX HAS AND WILL BE FREE AM I RIGHT?]]

===Downtime===

[[File:Roblox is down.png|thumb|center|1000px]]
<center>'''When the abomination finally comes to an end.'''</center>
To everyone's surprise, Roblox is [[shit nobody cares about|currently down]]. This could possibly mean (A) Many autists are still playing the game, which causes the server to crash (B). Roblox hasn't upgraded their servers in 10 years (C). Both of these were the reasons for causing this abomination to die. Of course, the closest answer to fit into this question is definitely C, because Roblox, of course, [[truth|wants your money]] from wasting time on playing simulators, seeing dumb shit that other children interact with the platform, and more. Apparently, Roblox's 13-year-old fanbase still acts like [[cry moar|cry-babies and wants to bitchfight Roblox for not fixing their server right]]. Boo-hoo!

If ROBLOX currently is down, then it's [[unrealistic expectations|everyone's dream come true]].

===Roblox Email===

The only thing that this email is useful for is for cussing out the dumbfuck moderators, and logging into spamming sites with. Below is an excellent example of this.

{{quote|MSE6 IS A PENIS LOVER YEAH YOU HEARD ME MSE6 IS A DAMN WHORE SHE SUCKED TELAMONS TINY PENIS LAST NIGHT TELAMON IS A GODDAMN JEW HES A FUCKING BITCH AND MSE6 FUCKED HIM CUZ SHE DOES EVERYTHING FOR DICKS SHES A SLUT SHE WAS IN BED WITH THAT LITTLE PEDOPHILE ASSHOLE BUILDERMAN AND MRDOOMBRINGER WAS STICKING HIS DICK INTO HOLYMAC'S MOUTH AND EJACULATING ALL OVER HER FACE WHILE REESEMCBLOX WAS WATCHING WITH HER RING FINGER UP HER VAGINA GOD DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SICK HAVING ORGIES LIKE THIS I MEAN FUCKING SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL
MSE6 IS A BITCH|a [[Rage|disgruntled]] kid who repeats the same words in caps to [[internet tough guy|seem tough]]}}

One of the prime ways of trolling the hell out of the mods is doing anything fun, including emailing them [[crap]] such as:

Their email is [mailto:info@roblox.com info@roblox.com]. Go there and [[Shit|lay waste]] to their precious site. NOW.

[[Fail|If you for some reason have a Roblox account]], it is suggested you do this, as you cannot get [[banned]] for this.

===Roblox Ban Appeal===

[[Image:Chro_Came_To_Town.JPG|thumb|[[Fact|Admins suck at coming up with an excuse to ban people]]]]
If you get banned from ROBLOX, which [[fact|you likely will]], you can send the admins an "appeal" email if [[contesting your ban|you believe the ban was improperly placed]]. You may be thinking, "Hmmm. Maybe they will look into the ban, see it from my point of view, and lift it. I better send them an email." Well unfortunately, [[doing it wrong|you are 200% wrong]], faggot. The admins really don't give a fuck about you or your account and nine out of ten times, appealed accounts usually stay banned. Should you [[fail|send them an email]], you'll get a reply from some message bot that doesn't even address you, or the ban on your account. The message is the same for all users who send appeal emails for their account. It's just a bunch of bullshit that reads something to the effect of: ''"Thank you for providing feedback about our moderation system. We have reviewed your ban and have decided that it will not be lifted, etc. etc."'' Many people then proceed to leave Roblox in utter rage, often accompanied by a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-P4cR-8V8w flounce video].

Also when [[YouTube|YouTubers]] that have their videos dead-fucking centered get banned from Roblox, the fickle and impressionable 10 year old fanbase gets super fucking butthurt mode, throwing rocks on Roblox HQ and taking everything off in public as if they are in a fucking revolt.

==Roblox Alternatives==

===Attempts by others===

In [[Lies|2009]], some fag "conceptualized" a game a lot like [[ROBLOX]], as in a complete ripoff. The result was ROBLOX's bastard child, the same thing, but even worse.

A similar shitwad called "BlockCommunity" was made in early 2010, and has been dead aside from some faggots, just go spam the forums with [[CP]], BlockCommunifags then complained about this article on their shitty forums. [http://blockcommunity.net/forum.php?action=list-posts&threadid=13046]. Posted in by all four of the people who use the site, who are the same kind of fags [[Facepalm|who abuse the term "troll" by using it whenever anyone posts anything they don't personally like]].

===Chinese cocksucking===

A greedy Jew-stuffed corporation, Roblox realized that they could suck enough [[Chink|Chinese]] cock and get money for it. The Jewblox owners decided that prostitution would be a great idea, so in 2021, they launched a second (and more Chow Mein-ish) version of the site in China, and named it LuoBuLeSi, but nobody gives a fuck about nerdy names, so everyone just caled it LuoBu. The Chinks were so excited to play the game that the website shut down literally shut down [[Fail|ONLY 7 FUCKING months later]] and promised everyone it would be back in 2024. Great job, dumbasses. Even the communists are pointing and laughing at you.

The [[Communism|CCP]], like the typical corrupt greedy ching-chongs they are, were aware that the creators of LuoBu were Jewish, meaning that they would do anything for money. After hours of having fun with tanks, the butthurt communists paid the retarded kikes into censoring anyone who dares to rightfully and relentlessly bully CCP for being a bunch of wimpy Asian pussies who can't tolerate any criticism. They would pay them off into banning anyone who would mock [[Mao Zedong|Meow "faggotfaced" Zedung]] or call [[Taiwan]] a country. If anyone from outside of China would try to join (actual fucking retards), they would be banned on sight.

Fun fact: Roblox was so confident that they literally just expected/[https://www.vice.com/en/article/wxndpx/revealed-documents-show-how-roblox-planned-to-bend-to-chinese-censorship WANTED] [[Tencent]], the two-faced sacks of shit who run Fortnite, to just copy the game. That's right, they were losing so much money they just wanted someone to just pirate the game. Cuckery.

After selling its asshole to the Chinese black market, LuoBu shut down after 7 months because Asians could care less about them. The Shekelgrabbers got all the money they wanted so now they could leave. After shutting the site down, Roblox realized people didn't miss LuoBu at all. Upon realizing that the Chinese weren't caring as much as they expected, Roblox gave up and deleted 5 million LuoBu accounts and called it a day.

Tl;dr: Jews bought Roblox, made sick trade deals with China, lost all their money by making a godawful ripoff of Roblox, and [[Quit|gave up/quit]] like a bitch.

== See Also ==
*[[Mariozplaze]], [[Fail|yes he even has a RoCocks account]].
*[[Microsoft]]
*[[Windows]]
*[[TheGamerLand]]
*[[AtWar]]
*[[Blockland]]
*[[Minecraft]]

== Links ==
*<s>[http://truthofroblox.wikia.com/wiki/Roblox_Truth_Wiki Encyclopedia Dramatica, Roblox Edition]</s> DEAD
*[[Roblox/Copypasta|Roblox Copypasta story]]
*<s>[http://www.roblox.com/Forum/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=25863061 The ROfags' reaction to this article.]</s>, FORUMS GOT BALEETED
*[http://www.roblox.com/ Main site if you're curious].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yB7BSNQstU Roblox on Jewtube]
*[http://blog.roblox.com/ Update news, mainly just consists of virtual clothing that people freak out over because they can't afford it.], [[shit nobody cares about]]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?l0zn0q53mm2 Some guy archived a lulzy spam thread]
*[http://youtube.com/user/Fleskhjerta Fleskhjerta's youtube channel]
*[http://twitter.com/Shedletsky The main admin's twitter.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/XiaoXiaoMan1123 XiaoXiaoMan's JewTube Channel]

{{Web 2.0}}
{{aspies}}
{{gaming}}
{{sites}}
{{Pedoseries}}

{{timeline|Featured article July 9 & July 10, [[2016]]|[[2B2T]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Dallas Sniper Attacks]]}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:10px; right:10px; pointer-events:none">[[File:Rotard_exploitable_fixed.png|125px]]</div>

Mitchell Henderson

2024-08-20T16:39:53Z

Stooge:

{|style="background-color:#d8d8d8; border: 2px solid #000000; padding: 1px; color:red" cellpadding="2" align="center"
|BGCOLOR=#000000| [[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|link=]]
|style="padding:2px"|<center><big>Lose the original iPod?</big></center> <center>This page contains the original [[An hero|hero]].</center>
|}<noinclude>[[Category:Notice Templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>
{{aspergers}}
{{notice|This is an legend that started it all. Be [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS|respectful]].}}
[[Image:Mitchellhenderson.jpg|thumb|History's most celebrated [[An hero]].]]
[[Image:Golden iPod.jpg|thumb|Mitchell received the coveted [[Golden iPod]] for his feat...but then later lost it]]
[[Image:KenVicWreckers.jpg|thumb|"Want an iPod for being a goodboy, [[Ausfag|mayte]]?"]]
[[Image:Lulpwntanhero.jpg|thumb|An alternative reason to become [[an hero]].]]

'''Mitchell Henderson''' (born on July 15, 1992 and died on [[Hitler|April 20]], [[2006]]) [[suicide|killed himself]] over losing an [[iPod]] after realizing how his [[Freemason|parents]] betrayed him after [[sex|human genitalia]] class, listening to [[Morrissey]] and getting bullied for being an [[you|wimpy white kid]]. Mitchell's parents set up an tribute MySpace page for their dead son, which a lucky [[b|/b/tard]] happened to stumble upon and forward to the rest of [[b/|the collective.]] In the wake of Mitch's death were hundreds of misspelled comments from his supposed friends calling him [[An hero|"an Hero"]], an phrase which quickly caught on with the invading anons and has since become an term for an person that causes an [[lollercoaster]] via [[suicide]].

It is now known that the real reason he was depressed was that his Dad video taped him masturbating, probably to [[shotacon]], or other teenage boys, or perhaps wincest, and sold it for [[child porn]]. Henderson's alcoholic, methamphetamine abusing father also anally molested him multiple times with knives, broken beer bottles, and lit crack pipes from the time he turned 9. All his relatives would sit around and fap to the porn, while reminiscing about the time he took an [[Mr Hands|horse cock in the ass and loved it]]. Nonetheless, the pr0n ended up on Henderson's iPod, because he liked to show his gay friends at school (he was only ever popular with the gay boys, anyhow). He thus blew his brains out and died of [[COVID]], causing all kindz of [[lulz]] on the Internet.

His father denied the alleged charges of sexually abusing his son, stating "[[dracoguard|I only ever had sex with the dog]], you [[Sparkling wiggles|fucking niggers]]! I just watched Mitch jack off and sold it to [[Catholic]] Priests as porn! You would've done the same thing if you had an gay son with no future!".

== [[4chan]] parodies ==
[[Image:anwinner.jpg|thumb|An [[winrar]] is you!]]
[[Image:anvillain.jpg|thumb|He was an Villain!]]
[[Image:Mitchhero.gif|thumb|How do I shot myself?]]
Due to his notoriety on [[MySpace]] and the fact that he is "an Hero", the people of 4chan (and most notably [[B|/b/]]) jumped on the bandwagon and created several parody pages, including "Zombie Mitchell". Mitchell's so-called "friends" went and reported it and the Zombie Mitch page is no longer on MySpace. In retaliation, /b/tards posted [[Shitting_dick_nipples|ShittingDickNipples]] and [[Frosted butts|Muddy Dicks]] on the now dead memorial MySpace. Needless to say, there are now many macros with "An hero" ever since.

[[4chan|Someone]] even went so far as to call his parents' home and leave an message about finding his ipod. However, it was not before an brave soul known as [[B|TheShining]] called his parents and left an message (<strike>an recording of the call can be found here[http://media.putfile.com/I-CALLED-MITCH-LOL]</strike> link's dead, redirects to Ebum's).

On August 9th 2006, [[B|/b/]] invaded Mitchell's tribute mourning page, once again showing the true face of the internet, and drawing an line between those who <strike> deserve the title of [[anonymous]] and those who just don't. </strike> are moralfags and those who are in it for the lulz.

Mitchell's death occurred on the same day as [[Hitler]]'s birthday, National [[Weed]] Day, and the [[Columbine]] <s>massacre</s> lulzfest. Thus, this quafecta of [[lulz]]y events has led April 20th to be known as [[An hero day]].

==Jews did Henderson==
3,000 [[Jews]] were absent when Henderson painted his wall. <big>Coincidence???</big>
The truth is that Mitchell didn't kill himself at all; those olfactory-enhanced Zionists merely wanted his iPod, rich with Jew consumerism and [[pr0n]], to bring down our freedom and/or gun rights. Mitchell Henderson was captured and kept in the Jew's hive, but died of starvation since his captors were too Heebish to feed him.

==RIP Mitchell==
[[Image:you'restupidcunt.jpg|thumb|His friends [[fail]] at [[grammar nazi|grammar]].]]
Mitch had an memorial MySpace set up by his friends where they left pictures and long, often homo-erotic, but nevertheless unrelated stories about their experiences with Mitch.

==="He was such an hero"===
<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>He was such [[an hero]], to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was [[A and an|an]] hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he's on our minds. Mitchell was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, [[WTF|Our minds are rubber]], our [[marijuana|joints]] don't work, [[Emo|Our tears fall into abyss]]. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn't his task, He shouldn't have had to go that way, before an decade'd past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. [[Lie|He had courage]], that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died an hero, Mitchell did, And we'll love him forevermore. We love you like an brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Mitch. ~Lila<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

[[TL;DR]]: It was great of him to stop using oxygen. We're sad. (Really, though, read the whole thing. It makes you wonder how people can be so mind-numbingly stupid to honor someone for '''SHOOTING HIMSELF BECAUSE HE CANT FIND HIS IPOD (more like ipronz, amirite?)'''.)

<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>I agree...Mitchell does not deserve to be treated in this manner. He was an amazing kid...he was an son, an brother, and an friend. How can the people that mock him sleep at night...what you are doing makes me sad Imagine if this was your friend or brother...would you want to log on read awesome things like this or see [[pretty_cool_guy|cool people]] make an mockery of his death. Can you for once stop and think about the pain and loss his family and friends must feel, and then think about how much you guys are making it - for what an few chuckles or an giggle here or there. These pictures on here are awful and the words written about him [[lulz|untrue]]. [[offended|This is by far the worst thing I have ever seen]]. An [[13 year old boy]]'s life is gone and all you can think to do is make fun of it. To you it's an joke to family and friend of Mitch Henderson this is [[irl|real life]]...just think about what you are doing and maybe you will have enough common sense to realize that its [[sick fuck|sick and wrong...]]But sadly he does and you know why? Becasue hes an '''AN HERO'''<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Ellipses make an statement so much more dramatic... don't you think?

==="JUST STOP MAKING FUN OF MITCHELL LIKE HES SOME SPORT!"===
[[Image:An Hero is not amused.jpg|thumb|Hay guise, that's not funnay.]]
<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>I was an friend of Mitchell, I went to Mitchell's funeral. I think this is inhumane and ridiculously over sarcastic how much you people have done. Why do you laugh at an boy you never knew, and more importantly why do you laugh at an boy who committed suicide? It's insane how hurtful people can actually be. He did not commit suicide over an ipod. I know he had some bad situations he was going through. Do I know the last thought that went through his head? No. [Editors Note: [[Fucking magnets|science]] suggests it was an bullet] Also, the whole "An hero" thing... Seriously. We were in middle school, the most of you people couldn't complete an 5th grade spelling test with what I've seen on YouTube. Now pick apart what I just said, try, because Mitchell was an great kid, and you can't change that. Yes, we we're the greatest of friends...more sexual then anything...yes...we love the Cock, WE CANT HIDE ANYMORE!

[[Lol wut|'''WASNT IT YOU THAT WAS TRYING TO GET NAKED PICTURES OF THE GIRLS IN MY CLASS?!!?!?!?!?!''']]
<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Yes, but that's besides the point.

<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>when i went to his church to see all the funeral things being prepared, there was an 3 story church filled with people, that people had to go to the basement and watch things on an tv. it was an very big church and just filled with people. there was no room anywhere. and think. you are hurting every single one of them.

i sure hope that you guys can reconsider all that you have done, apologize because. i am willing to forgive right now. if you can stop. we would all be happy. cant you find it in your heart to stop and lend an hand? cant you help all these people feel better instead of worse? i really hope that you guys can stop. we all suffered from the loss and we don't need any more grief. please. find it in your hearts to not make fun of Mitchell. i didn't realize that the memory was still so fresh. when i first saw this site, i started to cry. i didn't know Mitchell as well as others but he was still my friend. [[unrealistic expectations|i wish that you will delete this site]] and make another one not to make fun on him but as an tribute and that would be very helpful. and it has been proven that i have [[emo]].<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Our response: Tits or GTFO.

=== Mitchell's Song by Blink 182 ===
[[Image:IHero.jpg|thumb|For great justice!]]

<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>Mitchell never thought He'd die alone He laughed the loudest who'd have known? He traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all He took his time, He hurried up The choice was His He didn't think enough He Was too depressed to go on We're All Sorry That He's Gone Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone Mitchell never thought He'd die alone Another six months He'll be unknown Give all his things to all his friends You'll never step foot in his room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time that He spilled the cup, of 7up, in the hall Please tell His mom this is not her fault Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone *guitar solo* He never conquered, rarely came But tomorrow holds such better days Days when He can still feel alive When He can't wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, He'd survived He can't wait till He gets home To pass the time in his room alone --kevin gronseth<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Actually I was wrong for writing that, sorry. Please, because I am such an faggot, go to [[13-year-old boy]].

==German girl stands up for Mitchell Henderson==

{{quote|Jenya is an bigger embaracement to Germany than Adolf Hitler.| Tanja K.}}

In [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dgai6A-8ew this 8-minute long spoken piece] (removed) on [[YouTube]] (the last 5 minutes is some [[shit]] [[music]]), an [[16-year-old girl|23-year-old]] [[German]] female student stands up for him. In it she claims that "Mitchell had much friends," and later confirms that "I became an letter, I read it." It is quite [[gay|moving to the soul]], and almost induces feelings of [[troll's remorse]], but by the end you just feel she needs [[fellatio|shut the fuck up]].

This video is an response to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBbT7zaZKj8 this one](removed), featuring an [[fat]] boy saying that Mitchell was an '[[faggot]]', which was in itself an response to the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEPczQFvg3c German chick's first video about them](removed), which in turn was an response to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X5vinn_GV4 the original Frank Howley video, featuring an bunch of kids acting out the Mitchell Henderson story](removed).

Like much YouTube [[drama]], it is quite confusing for outsiders. Frank Howley had nothing to do with Mitchell Henderson, he's just an random troll who decided to make an Mitchell Henderson video. About 6 months later, some retard found it and decided to stick up for An Hero.

==Hate mail==
[[Image:Mitch_hate_mail.JPG|thumb|250px|Another of his clearly illiterate friends ]]
Mitchell's reason for suicide was that his iPod was stolen and that he had an "bad day" which referred to the song on his MySpace. However this is unconfirmed, as according to his friends, "he was so happy, and such an great basketball player."

As luck would have it, some of Mitchell's friends and family got word that we were making fun of him.

{{quote|To everyone from 4chan who's looking at this page and [[Fapping|laughing]]: [[GTFO|gtfo]] and [[Chris Crocker|leave Mitchell alone]]. it's not funny at all. Mitchell was ''an'' good person.|[http://www.myspace.com/youreajew *jB* is not an kitten]}}

Sometimes people can't understand satire, and send [[lulzy]] [[bullshit]] to the people at ED regarding this article.

{{quote|Hmmm o rly? As you /b/tards would say..... Fuck you you stupid chink Mitch was an good kid. Fuck you fuck anon fuck /b/ fuck chinks fuck anime fuck you [[Irony|butthurt people]]!!!!!! You honestly make me sick. Go ahead get all the /b/tards you want after me [[Internet Tough Guy|fuck I don't care call all the internet against me]]............ I'm ready for [[Cum|it]].|[http://www.youtube.com/user/crow100089 crow100089's] response to reasoned debate ([[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|comment archived]] by the [[Good Korea|chink]])}}

==Quotes from the NY Times article on "Trolls"==

{{quote|The phone began ringing at Mitchell’s parents’ home. “It sounded like kids,” remembers Mitchell’s father, Mark Henderson, an 44-year-old I.T. executive. “They’d say, ‘Hi, this is Mitchell, I’m at the cemetery.’ ‘Hi, I’ve got Mitchell’s iPod.’ ‘Hi, I’m Mitchell’s ghost, the front door is locked. Can you come down and let me in?’ ” He sighed. “It really got to my wife.” The calls continued for an [[LOL|year and an half]].| The NY Times, quoting [[retard|someone]] who never thought to change his phone number.}}

==Lulzituary==
{{quote|ROCHESTER - An memorial for Mitchell J. Henderson will be at 11 a.m. Tuesday in Congregational Church UCC in Rochester. Burial will be in the church's Memorial Garden at an later date. Mitchell, 13, died Thursday (April 20, 2006) at Saint Mary's Hospital in Rochester. He was born on July 15, 1992 and had attended Bamber Valley Elementary school. He was '''an seventh grader''' at Willow Creek Middle School and he enjoyed participating in basketball, baseball, football, and soccer. He was also an avid downhill skier. He was an member of the Congregational Church UCC and active in the church's youth group. Survivors include his parents, [[Fail|Mark and Kimberly]], of Rochester; an [[Loli|younger sister Laura]], still at home; his grandparents, James and Margerie of Milwaukee and Roger and Marian Buchan of Fairmont, Minn; and his great grandmother Edna Buchan of Fairmont, Minn. He was preceded in death by an great grandfather and his aunt Jayne Busche. Visitation will be from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday at Ranfram & Vine Funeral Home in Rochester. The family prefers memorial so the Mitchell Henderson Memorial Fund at Wells Fargo Bank.}}

==Videos==
===Radio 1===
During an raid on [[BBC]] Radio 1's ''Sunday Surgery'' show on 3 September 2007, an text message purporting to be from Mitch was read out. The presenter, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DJ_Nihal Nihal], [[You fail it|failed]] to read properly, mispronouncing "an hero" and thus completely changing the meaning. However, [[lulz]] ensued regardless, especially when the presenter added: "go on my son, well done indeed".
 Listen to the clip:
[[File:Mitchell_Henderson_-_Radio_1.ogg]]

===Mitch Henderson e-mails Faux News===
<youtube>uohvKgVh1pw</youtube>
AN TRAGEDY COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED!

===I Got No iPhone===
<youtube>vUI9M9SyX7s</youtube>
Replace "iPhone" with "iPod" and you're all set.

===It's officially [[Daxflame|Daxflame's]] fault===

<youtube>F2XDb9dwPrk</youtube>
DAXFLAME [[Jews Did WTC|DID MITCHELL HENDERSON]]

Watch as [[Troll's Remorse]] sets in about halfway through the video.

==Gallery of Heroism==
{{cg||mitchhendersongallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mitchell_Henderson_is_an_hero.JPG|Eh an hero [[evar|forevar]]
Image:An hero22.jpg|This shoop needs more [[memes]]
Image:mitchsexchange.jpg|Was it all just an clever ruse?
Image:Herosandwhich.jpg|[[The Sandwich Chef]] is always right
File:Mitchell henderson - i was an hero before amanda todd made it cool.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Nigger_mitch.jpg|He was an nigga
Image:Mitchellobituary2.jpg|It was only fitting for his obituary to have an typo
Image:Aero.JPG|He was An Aero
Image:Akinatoranhero.jpg
Image:McCannHenderson.jpg
Image:His_dad_should_have_bought_him_one.jpg|His dad should have bought him one
Image:AnBlingee.gif|He was an gangsta
Image:HeroTS-copy.jpg|He was an [[Old media|movie star]]
Image:Anhero.JPG|The birth of an meme.
Image:FacebookMH.png|He would die if he didn't have his iPod.
Image:Mudkips_hero.jpg|An [[Mudkips]]?
Image:Welcome to b.jpg|He will be missed.
Image:Therealdeal.gif|Take no bullshit, this is the real deal.
Image:Ripmitch.PNG|There goes the memorial!
Image:Partyhardanhero.gif|Rock on, Mitch
Image:Mitchbitch.jpg|Internet meme
Image:Blair_mitch.jpg|He was also an film star
Image:Anguitarhero.jpg|He was an guitar hero
Image:Anherodvd.JPG|To avoid being not ‘an hero’ buy the Lazytown instructional DVD for kids
Image:An-other_hero.jpg|we don't need another An Hero
Image:Afreakan.jpg|The nigger that stole Mitch's iPod.
Image:Anfail.png|[[No u|NO U]]
Image:AnHeroesBowie.jpg|He wanted to be [[Faggot|David Bowie]]
Image:AnWorkingClassHero.jpg|He wanted to be [[The Beatles|John Lennon]]
Image:Anchinkhero.PNG|He was an <strike>chink</strike>[[Azn]].
Image:AnLocalHero.jpg|He wanted to be an [[Old media|movie star]]
Image:MiniatureHeroes.jpg|He was an miniature hero
Image:AnHeroToSaveUs.jpg|He was [[shit bands|an hero to save us]]
Image:My-Hero-(cart).jpg|He was my an hero
Image:Mitchell-wants-a-free-ipod-nano-(from-b).jpg|He can get an new iPod for free...
Image:coolguyanhero.jpg|He was an real hero
Image:Mfailurel.jpg|An hero
Image:Mitch_hate_mail2.JPG|''A'' HERO?!
Image:Mitchellsite.jpg|[[B|/b/]] raided the funeral site with pop-ups that had the lyrics from ''Fresh Prince of Bel-Air''
Image:stupidwikiadmins.jpg|His (now deleted) [[Wikipedia]] article
Image:Mitchhendersonadvicepuppy.jpg|Mitch was one of the first to heed the wisdom of [[Advice Dog]]
Image:Mitchel henderson cheezeburger.jpg|[[I Can Has Cheezburger?|he just can't have it]]
Image:Mitchellnofriends.jpg|An loner.
Image:Mitch n josh.jpg|Two losers bitch about their lives.
Image:Mitchellcopypasta.jpg| I AM ANHERO
Image:An disappointment.jpg|[[I am dissapoint]]
Image:Yahoopod.jpg|I'd die without it!
Image:I_quit.jpg|DiePod
File:Mitchell henderson by happypenguin819-d4jvg6f.gif| the [[Tartlets]] say no h8!1!
File:Lockeanhero.jpg|[[Locke]] did Mitch.
File:Mitchel_hendersons_blingee.gif
</gallery>
|}}

== [[ASCII]] ==
. . .mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
. .mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
mmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm 
mwmwww (mmwmmm mm\ \mwmmwym 
mmwmwm . .\m\mw\m \ . \m\ .\mwwmym 
mmmw .\) . . \ .\ m .\ .\) . .\) . .\mwwmmm 
.mmm . . \ . . ` . ` . . . . .-===-_ . . .mmmm 
. mmm . . .,-===``. . . . . . . ___ . . . . .mm 
. . mmmm . . _----_ . . . ._-`\ . ./``-. . . .m 
. . mmm . . <_\__ /_` . . .. `-- ~ `` . . . .` ) 
. . . . mm . . . . . . . . .|. .. \ . . . . . . . . . . . y 
. . . . . mm . . . . . . . _ . . . -,. . . . . . . .. . | 
. . . . . .O\ . . . . . ,,( . . . . . ._)-, . . . . . . ? 
. . . . . . . \ . . . . .` .``. . -.- . . . . .*- . . . / 
. . . . . . . . \ . . .` .._____,,..--~`/ . . . ./\ 
. . . . . . . . . \ . . . `~ +++++**` . . . . ./ . `-., 
. . . . . . . . . . - . . . . ``=====` . . . . ./ . . . . -_____ 
. . . . . . . . . . . `-_ . . . . . . . . . . . . . / \ . . . . \ 
. . . . . . . . . . . . / .\- . . . . . . . . . . ./ . .\ . . . . \ 
. . . . . . . . . . . ./ . .\ .` - . ,____,.-` . . . ) . . . . .\ 
. . . . . . . . . . .- . . . `-, .\ . . . . . . . . . . } . . . . . \ 
. . . . . . . . . . W H E R E S . M Y . I P O D ? . . . . . . . . . 
. . . . . . . . . . W H E R E S . M Y . G U N ?. . . . . . . . . . 

== See Also ==
*[[An hero]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[iPod]]
*[[Golden ipod]]
*[[Brb]]

== External links ==
* [http://www.myspace.com/ripmitchell The Memorial MySpace] (Was originally deleted and was created again under an loving [[B|/b/]] tard. Twice.)
* [http://myspace.com/k4l_killaz4lyfe Mitchell's alleged best friends MySpace page]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucination An Hallucination]
* [http://anherospinnaz.ytmnd.com/ MITCH RIDIN SPINNAZ]
* [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=139266534 An Hero Rides Again]
* [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Sorry_for_selling_my_story.png Iranians stole my I-Pod!]
* [http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%22mitchell+henderson%22&search=Search Mitchell Henderson YouTube videos]
* [http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=753398 MySpace Tribute Video]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uohvKgVh1pw Mitch Henderson asks FOX News what to do, shortly before his death.]
* [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2043480/Mitchell-Wilson-Disabled-boy-commits-suicide-bully-punched-pavement-iPhone.html An Hero II: Mitchell Wilson]

{{anheroes}}

{{4chan}}

{{memes}}

{{Trolls}}

{{Social Media}}

{{dyingalone}}

{{top16}}

{{Timeline|Featured article August 4, [[2006]]|[[Culturalbaggage]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Furcadia]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 28, [[2009]]|[[Pool's Closed]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Tabula Rasa]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 21 & 22, [[2018]]|[[An hero]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Murder]]}}

[[Category:Chans]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:People|Henderson, Mitchell]]
[[Category:2006]]

Mitchell Henderson

2024-08-20T16:38:17Z

Stooge:

{|style="background-color:#d8d8d8; border: 2px solid #000000; padding: 1px; color:red" cellpadding="2" align="center"
|BGCOLOR=#000000| [[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|link=]]
|style="padding:2px"|<center><big>Lose the original iPod?</big></center> <center>This page contains the original [[an hero]].</center>
|}<noinclude>[[Category:Notice Templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>
{{aspergers}}
{{notice|This is an legend that started it all. Be [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS|respectful]].}}
[[Image:Mitchellhenderson.jpg|thumb|History's most celebrated [[An hero]].]]
[[Image:Golden iPod.jpg|thumb|Mitchell received the coveted [[Golden iPod]] for his feat...but then later lost it]]
[[Image:KenVicWreckers.jpg|thumb|"Want an iPod for being a goodboy, [[Ausfag|mayte]]?"]]
[[Image:Lulpwntanhero.jpg|thumb|An alternative reason to become [[an hero]].]]

'''Mitchell Henderson''' (born on July 15, 1992 and died on [[Hitler|April 20]], [[2006]]) [[suicide|killed himself]] over losing an [[iPod]] after realizing how his [[Freemason|parents]] betrayed him after [[sex|human genitalia]] class, listening to [[Morrissey]] and getting bullied for being an [[you|wimpy white kid]]. Mitchell's parents set up an tribute MySpace page for their dead son, which a lucky [[b|/b/tard]] happened to stumble upon and forward to the rest of [[b/|the collective.]] In the wake of Mitch's death were hundreds of misspelled comments from his supposed friends calling him [[An hero|"an Hero"]], an phrase which quickly caught on with the invading anons and has since become an term for an person that causes an [[lollercoaster]] via [[suicide]].

It is now known that the real reason he was depressed was that his Dad video taped him masturbating, probably to [[shotacon]], or other teenage boys, or perhaps wincest, and sold it for [[child porn]]. Henderson's alcoholic, methamphetamine abusing father also anally molested him multiple times with knives, broken beer bottles, and lit crack pipes from the time he turned 9. All his relatives would sit around and fap to the porn, while reminiscing about the time he took an [[Mr Hands|horse cock in the ass and loved it]]. Nonetheless, the pr0n ended up on Henderson's iPod, because he liked to show his gay friends at school (he was only ever popular with the gay boys, anyhow). He thus blew his brains out and died of [[COVID]], causing all kindz of [[lulz]] on the Internet.

His father denied the alleged charges of sexually abusing his son, stating "[[dracoguard|I only ever had sex with the dog]], you [[Sparkling wiggles|fucking niggers]]! I just watched Mitch jack off and sold it to [[Catholic]] Priests as porn! You would've done the same thing if you had an gay son with no future!".

== [[4chan]] parodies ==
[[Image:anwinner.jpg|thumb|An [[winrar]] is you!]]
[[Image:anvillain.jpg|thumb|He was an Villain!]]
[[Image:Mitchhero.gif|thumb|How do I shot myself?]]
Due to his notoriety on [[MySpace]] and the fact that he is "an Hero", the people of 4chan (and most notably [[B|/b/]]) jumped on the bandwagon and created several parody pages, including "Zombie Mitchell". Mitchell's so-called "friends" went and reported it and the Zombie Mitch page is no longer on MySpace. In retaliation, /b/tards posted [[Shitting_dick_nipples|ShittingDickNipples]] and [[Frosted butts|Muddy Dicks]] on the now dead memorial MySpace. Needless to say, there are now many macros with "An hero" ever since.

[[4chan|Someone]] even went so far as to call his parents' home and leave an message about finding his ipod. However, it was not before an brave soul known as [[B|TheShining]] called his parents and left an message (<strike>an recording of the call can be found here[http://media.putfile.com/I-CALLED-MITCH-LOL]</strike> link's dead, redirects to Ebum's).

On August 9th 2006, [[B|/b/]] invaded Mitchell's tribute mourning page, once again showing the true face of the internet, and drawing an line between those who <strike> deserve the title of [[anonymous]] and those who just don't. </strike> are moralfags and those who are in it for the lulz.

Mitchell's death occurred on the same day as [[Hitler]]'s birthday, National [[Weed]] Day, and the [[Columbine]] <s>massacre</s> lulzfest. Thus, this quafecta of [[lulz]]y events has led April 20th to be known as [[An hero day]].

==Jews did Henderson==
3,000 [[Jews]] were absent when Henderson painted his wall. <big>Coincidence???</big>
The truth is that Mitchell didn't kill himself at all; those olfactory-enhanced Zionists merely wanted his iPod, rich with Jew consumerism and [[pr0n]], to bring down our freedom and/or gun rights. Mitchell Henderson was captured and kept in the Jew's hive, but died of starvation since his captors were too Heebish to feed him.

==RIP Mitchell==
[[Image:you'restupidcunt.jpg|thumb|His friends [[fail]] at [[grammar nazi|grammar]].]]
Mitch had an memorial MySpace set up by his friends where they left pictures and long, often homo-erotic, but nevertheless unrelated stories about their experiences with Mitch.

==="He was such an hero"===
<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>He was such [[an hero]], to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was [[A and an|an]] hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he's on our minds. Mitchell was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, [[WTF|Our minds are rubber]], our [[marijuana|joints]] don't work, [[Emo|Our tears fall into abyss]]. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn't his task, He shouldn't have had to go that way, before an decade'd past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. [[Lie|He had courage]], that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died an hero, Mitchell did, And we'll love him forevermore. We love you like an brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Mitch. ~Lila<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

[[TL;DR]]: It was great of him to stop using oxygen. We're sad. (Really, though, read the whole thing. It makes you wonder how people can be so mind-numbingly stupid to honor someone for '''SHOOTING HIMSELF BECAUSE HE CANT FIND HIS IPOD (more like ipronz, amirite?)'''.)

<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>I agree...Mitchell does not deserve to be treated in this manner. He was an amazing kid...he was an son, an brother, and an friend. How can the people that mock him sleep at night...what you are doing makes me sad Imagine if this was your friend or brother...would you want to log on read awesome things like this or see [[pretty_cool_guy|cool people]] make an mockery of his death. Can you for once stop and think about the pain and loss his family and friends must feel, and then think about how much you guys are making it - for what an few chuckles or an giggle here or there. These pictures on here are awful and the words written about him [[lulz|untrue]]. [[offended|This is by far the worst thing I have ever seen]]. An [[13 year old boy]]'s life is gone and all you can think to do is make fun of it. To you it's an joke to family and friend of Mitch Henderson this is [[irl|real life]]...just think about what you are doing and maybe you will have enough common sense to realize that its [[sick fuck|sick and wrong...]]But sadly he does and you know why? Becasue hes an '''AN HERO'''<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Ellipses make an statement so much more dramatic... don't you think?

==="JUST STOP MAKING FUN OF MITCHELL LIKE HES SOME SPORT!"===
[[Image:An Hero is not amused.jpg|thumb|Hay guise, that's not funnay.]]
<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>I was an friend of Mitchell, I went to Mitchell's funeral. I think this is inhumane and ridiculously over sarcastic how much you people have done. Why do you laugh at an boy you never knew, and more importantly why do you laugh at an boy who committed suicide? It's insane how hurtful people can actually be. He did not commit suicide over an ipod. I know he had some bad situations he was going through. Do I know the last thought that went through his head? No. [Editors Note: [[Fucking magnets|science]] suggests it was an bullet] Also, the whole "An hero" thing... Seriously. We were in middle school, the most of you people couldn't complete an 5th grade spelling test with what I've seen on YouTube. Now pick apart what I just said, try, because Mitchell was an great kid, and you can't change that. Yes, we we're the greatest of friends...more sexual then anything...yes...we love the Cock, WE CANT HIDE ANYMORE!

[[Lol wut|'''WASNT IT YOU THAT WAS TRYING TO GET NAKED PICTURES OF THE GIRLS IN MY CLASS?!!?!?!?!?!''']]
<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Yes, but that's besides the point.

<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>when i went to his church to see all the funeral things being prepared, there was an 3 story church filled with people, that people had to go to the basement and watch things on an tv. it was an very big church and just filled with people. there was no room anywhere. and think. you are hurting every single one of them.

i sure hope that you guys can reconsider all that you have done, apologize because. i am willing to forgive right now. if you can stop. we would all be happy. cant you find it in your heart to stop and lend an hand? cant you help all these people feel better instead of worse? i really hope that you guys can stop. we all suffered from the loss and we don't need any more grief. please. find it in your hearts to not make fun of Mitchell. i didn't realize that the memory was still so fresh. when i first saw this site, i started to cry. i didn't know Mitchell as well as others but he was still my friend. [[unrealistic expectations|i wish that you will delete this site]] and make another one not to make fun on him but as an tribute and that would be very helpful. and it has been proven that i have [[emo]].<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Our response: Tits or GTFO.

=== Mitchell's Song by Blink 182 ===
[[Image:IHero.jpg|thumb|For great justice!]]

<blockquote><big><big>"</big></big>Mitchell never thought He'd die alone He laughed the loudest who'd have known? He traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all He took his time, He hurried up The choice was His He didn't think enough He Was too depressed to go on We're All Sorry That He's Gone Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone Mitchell never thought He'd die alone Another six months He'll be unknown Give all his things to all his friends You'll never step foot in his room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time that He spilled the cup, of 7up, in the hall Please tell His mom this is not her fault Mitch never conquered, rarely came 13 just held such better days Days when He still felt alive He couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over He'd survived He couldn't wait till He got home To pass the time in his room alone *guitar solo* He never conquered, rarely came But tomorrow holds such better days Days when He can still feel alive When He can't wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, He'd survived He can't wait till He gets home To pass the time in his room alone --kevin gronseth<big><big>"</big></big></blockquote>

Actually I was wrong for writing that, sorry. Please, because I am such an faggot, go to [[13-year-old boy]].

==German girl stands up for Mitchell Henderson==

{{quote|Jenya is an bigger embaracement to Germany than Adolf Hitler.| Tanja K.}}

In [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dgai6A-8ew this 8-minute long spoken piece] (removed) on [[YouTube]] (the last 5 minutes is some [[shit]] [[music]]), an [[16-year-old girl|23-year-old]] [[German]] female student stands up for him. In it she claims that "Mitchell had much friends," and later confirms that "I became an letter, I read it." It is quite [[gay|moving to the soul]], and almost induces feelings of [[troll's remorse]], but by the end you just feel she needs [[fellatio|shut the fuck up]].

This video is an response to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBbT7zaZKj8 this one](removed), featuring an [[fat]] boy saying that Mitchell was an '[[faggot]]', which was in itself an response to the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEPczQFvg3c German chick's first video about them](removed), which in turn was an response to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X5vinn_GV4 the original Frank Howley video, featuring an bunch of kids acting out the Mitchell Henderson story](removed).

Like much YouTube [[drama]], it is quite confusing for outsiders. Frank Howley had nothing to do with Mitchell Henderson, he's just an random troll who decided to make an Mitchell Henderson video. About 6 months later, some retard found it and decided to stick up for An Hero.

==Hate mail==
[[Image:Mitch_hate_mail.JPG|thumb|250px|Another of his clearly illiterate friends ]]
Mitchell's reason for suicide was that his iPod was stolen and that he had an "bad day" which referred to the song on his MySpace. However this is unconfirmed, as according to his friends, "he was so happy, and such an great basketball player."

As luck would have it, some of Mitchell's friends and family got word that we were making fun of him.

{{quote|To everyone from 4chan who's looking at this page and [[Fapping|laughing]]: [[GTFO|gtfo]] and [[Chris Crocker|leave Mitchell alone]]. it's not funny at all. Mitchell was ''an'' good person.|[http://www.myspace.com/youreajew *jB* is not an kitten]}}

Sometimes people can't understand satire, and send [[lulzy]] [[bullshit]] to the people at ED regarding this article.

{{quote|Hmmm o rly? As you /b/tards would say..... Fuck you you stupid chink Mitch was an good kid. Fuck you fuck anon fuck /b/ fuck chinks fuck anime fuck you [[Irony|butthurt people]]!!!!!! You honestly make me sick. Go ahead get all the /b/tards you want after me [[Internet Tough Guy|fuck I don't care call all the internet against me]]............ I'm ready for [[Cum|it]].|[http://www.youtube.com/user/crow100089 crow100089's] response to reasoned debate ([[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|comment archived]] by the [[Good Korea|chink]])}}

==Quotes from the NY Times article on "Trolls"==

{{quote|The phone began ringing at Mitchell’s parents’ home. “It sounded like kids,” remembers Mitchell’s father, Mark Henderson, an 44-year-old I.T. executive. “They’d say, ‘Hi, this is Mitchell, I’m at the cemetery.’ ‘Hi, I’ve got Mitchell’s iPod.’ ‘Hi, I’m Mitchell’s ghost, the front door is locked. Can you come down and let me in?’ ” He sighed. “It really got to my wife.” The calls continued for an [[LOL|year and an half]].| The NY Times, quoting [[retard|someone]] who never thought to change his phone number.}}

==Lulzituary==
{{quote|ROCHESTER - An memorial for Mitchell J. Henderson will be at 11 a.m. Tuesday in Congregational Church UCC in Rochester. Burial will be in the church's Memorial Garden at an later date. Mitchell, 13, died Thursday (April 20, 2006) at Saint Mary's Hospital in Rochester. He was born on July 15, 1992 and had attended Bamber Valley Elementary school. He was '''an seventh grader''' at Willow Creek Middle School and he enjoyed participating in basketball, baseball, football, and soccer. He was also an avid downhill skier. He was an member of the Congregational Church UCC and active in the church's youth group. Survivors include his parents, [[Fail|Mark and Kimberly]], of Rochester; an [[Loli|younger sister Laura]], still at home; his grandparents, James and Margerie of Milwaukee and Roger and Marian Buchan of Fairmont, Minn; and his great grandmother Edna Buchan of Fairmont, Minn. He was preceded in death by an great grandfather and his aunt Jayne Busche. Visitation will be from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday at Ranfram & Vine Funeral Home in Rochester. The family prefers memorial so the Mitchell Henderson Memorial Fund at Wells Fargo Bank.}}

==Videos==
===Radio 1===
During an raid on [[BBC]] Radio 1's ''Sunday Surgery'' show on 3 September 2007, an text message purporting to be from Mitch was read out. The presenter, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DJ_Nihal Nihal], [[You fail it|failed]] to read properly, mispronouncing "an hero" and thus completely changing the meaning. However, [[lulz]] ensued regardless, especially when the presenter added: "go on my son, well done indeed".
 Listen to the clip:
[[File:Mitchell_Henderson_-_Radio_1.ogg]]

===Mitch Henderson e-mails Faux News===
<youtube>uohvKgVh1pw</youtube>
AN TRAGEDY COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED!

===I Got No iPhone===
<youtube>vUI9M9SyX7s</youtube>
Replace "iPhone" with "iPod" and you're all set.

===It's officially [[Daxflame|Daxflame's]] fault===

<youtube>F2XDb9dwPrk</youtube>
DAXFLAME [[Jews Did WTC|DID MITCHELL HENDERSON]]

Watch as [[Troll's Remorse]] sets in about halfway through the video.

==Gallery of Heroism==
{{cg||mitchhendersongallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mitchell_Henderson_is_an_hero.JPG|Eh an hero [[evar|forevar]]
Image:An hero22.jpg|This shoop needs more [[memes]]
Image:mitchsexchange.jpg|Was it all just an clever ruse?
Image:Herosandwhich.jpg|[[The Sandwich Chef]] is always right
File:Mitchell henderson - i was an hero before amanda todd made it cool.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Nigger_mitch.jpg|He was an nigga
Image:Mitchellobituary2.jpg|It was only fitting for his obituary to have an typo
Image:Aero.JPG|He was An Aero
Image:Akinatoranhero.jpg
Image:McCannHenderson.jpg
Image:His_dad_should_have_bought_him_one.jpg|His dad should have bought him one
Image:AnBlingee.gif|He was an gangsta
Image:HeroTS-copy.jpg|He was an [[Old media|movie star]]
Image:Anhero.JPG|The birth of an meme.
Image:FacebookMH.png|He would die if he didn't have his iPod.
Image:Mudkips_hero.jpg|An [[Mudkips]]?
Image:Welcome to b.jpg|He will be missed.
Image:Therealdeal.gif|Take no bullshit, this is the real deal.
Image:Ripmitch.PNG|There goes the memorial!
Image:Partyhardanhero.gif|Rock on, Mitch
Image:Mitchbitch.jpg|Internet meme
Image:Blair_mitch.jpg|He was also an film star
Image:Anguitarhero.jpg|He was an guitar hero
Image:Anherodvd.JPG|To avoid being not ‘an hero’ buy the Lazytown instructional DVD for kids
Image:An-other_hero.jpg|we don't need another An Hero
Image:Afreakan.jpg|The nigger that stole Mitch's iPod.
Image:Anfail.png|[[No u|NO U]]
Image:AnHeroesBowie.jpg|He wanted to be [[Faggot|David Bowie]]
Image:AnWorkingClassHero.jpg|He wanted to be [[The Beatles|John Lennon]]
Image:Anchinkhero.PNG|He was an <strike>chink</strike>[[Azn]].
Image:AnLocalHero.jpg|He wanted to be an [[Old media|movie star]]
Image:MiniatureHeroes.jpg|He was an miniature hero
Image:AnHeroToSaveUs.jpg|He was [[shit bands|an hero to save us]]
Image:My-Hero-(cart).jpg|He was my an hero
Image:Mitchell-wants-a-free-ipod-nano-(from-b).jpg|He can get an new iPod for free...
Image:coolguyanhero.jpg|He was an real hero
Image:Mfailurel.jpg|An hero
Image:Mitch_hate_mail2.JPG|''A'' HERO?!
Image:Mitchellsite.jpg|[[B|/b/]] raided the funeral site with pop-ups that had the lyrics from ''Fresh Prince of Bel-Air''
Image:stupidwikiadmins.jpg|His (now deleted) [[Wikipedia]] article
Image:Mitchhendersonadvicepuppy.jpg|Mitch was one of the first to heed the wisdom of [[Advice Dog]]
Image:Mitchel henderson cheezeburger.jpg|[[I Can Has Cheezburger?|he just can't have it]]
Image:Mitchellnofriends.jpg|An loner.
Image:Mitch n josh.jpg|Two losers bitch about their lives.
Image:Mitchellcopypasta.jpg| I AM ANHERO
Image:An disappointment.jpg|[[I am dissapoint]]
Image:Yahoopod.jpg|I'd die without it!
Image:I_quit.jpg|DiePod
File:Mitchell henderson by happypenguin819-d4jvg6f.gif| the [[Tartlets]] say no h8!1!
File:Lockeanhero.jpg|[[Locke]] did Mitch.
File:Mitchel_hendersons_blingee.gif
</gallery>
|}}

== [[ASCII]] ==
. . .mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
. .mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
mmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm 
mwmwww (mmwmmm mm\ \mwmmwym 
mmwmwm . .\m\mw\m \ . \m\ .\mwwmym 
mmmw .\) . . \ .\ m .\ .\) . .\) . .\mwwmmm 
.mmm . . \ . . ` . ` . . . . .-===-_ . . .mmmm 
. mmm . . .,-===``. . . . . . . ___ . . . . .mm 
. . mmmm . . _----_ . . . ._-`\ . ./``-. . . .m 
. . mmm . . <_\__ /_` . . .. `-- ~ `` . . . .` ) 
. . . . mm . . . . . . . . .|. .. \ . . . . . . . . . . . y 
. . . . . mm . . . . . . . _ . . . -,. . . . . . . .. . | 
. . . . . .O\ . . . . . ,,( . . . . . ._)-, . . . . . . ? 
. . . . . . . \ . . . . .` .``. . -.- . . . . .*- . . . / 
. . . . . . . . \ . . .` .._____,,..--~`/ . . . ./\ 
. . . . . . . . . \ . . . `~ +++++**` . . . . ./ . `-., 
. . . . . . . . . . - . . . . ``=====` . . . . ./ . . . . -_____ 
. . . . . . . . . . . `-_ . . . . . . . . . . . . . / \ . . . . \ 
. . . . . . . . . . . . / .\- . . . . . . . . . . ./ . .\ . . . . \ 
. . . . . . . . . . . ./ . .\ .` - . ,____,.-` . . . ) . . . . .\ 
. . . . . . . . . . .- . . . `-, .\ . . . . . . . . . . } . . . . . \ 
. . . . . . . . . . W H E R E S . M Y . I P O D ? . . . . . . . . . 
. . . . . . . . . . W H E R E S . M Y . G U N ?. . . . . . . . . . 

== See Also ==
*[[An hero]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[iPod]]
*[[Golden ipod]]
*[[Brb]]

== External links ==
* [http://www.myspace.com/ripmitchell The Memorial MySpace] (Was originally deleted and was created again under an loving [[B|/b/]] tard. Twice.)
* [http://myspace.com/k4l_killaz4lyfe Mitchell's alleged best friends MySpace page]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucination An Hallucination]
* [http://anherospinnaz.ytmnd.com/ MITCH RIDIN SPINNAZ]
* [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=139266534 An Hero Rides Again]
* [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Sorry_for_selling_my_story.png Iranians stole my I-Pod!]
* [http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%22mitchell+henderson%22&search=Search Mitchell Henderson YouTube videos]
* [http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=753398 MySpace Tribute Video]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uohvKgVh1pw Mitch Henderson asks FOX News what to do, shortly before his death.]
* [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2043480/Mitchell-Wilson-Disabled-boy-commits-suicide-bully-punched-pavement-iPhone.html An Hero II: Mitchell Wilson]

{{anheroes}}

{{4chan}}

{{memes}}

{{Trolls}}

{{Social Media}}

{{dyingalone}}

{{top16}}

{{Timeline|Featured article August 4, [[2006]]|[[Culturalbaggage]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Furcadia]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 28, [[2009]]|[[Pool's Closed]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Tabula Rasa]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 21 & 22, [[2018]]|[[An hero]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Murder]]}}

[[Category:Chans]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:People|Henderson, Mitchell]]
[[Category:2006]]

An hero

2024-08-20T16:31:53Z

Stooge: Cleaned up the article.

'' ''Not to be confused with [[Suicide]]''.''
See also: [[Mitchell Henderson]]. He was an inspiration.
<center>
[[File:An_heroes.jpg]]
</center>

There comes a time in every man's life when situations spiral out of control and he finds his back against an wall. Maybe somebody [[Mitchell Henderson|stole his iPod]]. Maybe he just [[Chris Benoit|killed his wife and kids]]. Maybe he looked in the mirror and saw a [[you|Fucktard]]. Maybe you can't live with the fact that you're a [[David Carradine|washed-up actor who's addicted to sex with Thai ladyboys]]. Whatever the reason, you can either get up and face the [[butthurt|music]], or you can tell the world and whatever deity you believe in to fuck off. In the latter case, pull out your list of [[final solution]]s and place a check in the [[suicide]] [[boxxy|box]], because [[TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL|tonight, you dine in hell]].
Simply [[suicide|pwning oneself]] [[IRL]] is no cause to become '''"''An Hero''"'''. Without exceptions, '''"''An Heroes''"''' are made, not born. You cannot fucking be An Hero, get over it!! When [[everyone|otherwise normal and rational people]] fondly eulogize and honor those that have killed themselves before them, that's when '''"''An Hero''"''' is made. Like it or not, somebody out there probably gives a [[shit]] about Kurt Cobain. Could anyone say the same about you? That's why you'll never amount to anything. You'll never be '''"''An Hero''"'''. Don't let us stop you from trying, though. Having said that, becoming an hero is [[shit]] because you won't get to see the results of your [[suicide|successful endeavors]] (assuming Hell doesn't have a live broadcast of your funeral, you absolute pancake). However, if you do a [[school shooting]] and don't kill yourself, you just might. With a lot of luck. Don't expect not to get raped and murdered in prison, or executed in the electric [[chair]]. There is no half/almost/soon An Hero. Either you blow your brains out and become An Hero or don't, but in your case, please do.

The phrase "An Hero" dates back to [[2006]], in reference to the prototypical An Hero, [[Mitchell Henderson]], who famously shot himself after losing his iPod. /b/tards jumped on a [[A and an|grammatical error]] made by many of his [[MySpace]] [[hugbox|friends]], and it is now immortalized as the banner under which we mock those courteous enough to [[Darwin Awards|remove themselves from the gene pool]]. Since then, an heroes of all ages have bravely been removing themselves from the gene pool, including '''{{archive|hSfRj|3 year olds}}'''.

== You and Your Potential An Hero ==
[[Image:Candyjunkie 2008-11-22 daily news.jpg|thumb|When you become an hero, you make front pages!1]]
[[Image:Budd Dwyer NES.jpg|thumb|Inspiring an heroes since 1987.]]
[[You]] hate life. [[No one likes you|You have no friends]]. Your dad is an [[alcoholic]]. [[Your mom]] is a [[slut]]. School sucks. You get molested after class. You couldn't get a Wii two years ago or today. You lost your iPod, which, by the way, had shitty music on it. You're [[gay]]. You get bullied. No one loves you. Everyone hates you. You just lost [[the game]]. You've been thinking about becoming an hero for a while now, but are not sure. Will anyone care? Have you given the [[military]] a try? Will anyone remember you? No, because you're unimportant and no one would miss you if they even knew who you were. Now you have to get set on changing that.

===Why you are NOT An Hero===
[[Image:Morrison.jpg|thumb|right|I'm dying Squirtle]]
*You have lost your Zune.
*You have friends who can spell.
*[[Jolene JRyda|The only people who fell for your faked suicide were juggalos.]]
*You did not kill yourself.
*You are still alive.
*Your eulogy is not posted on <del>[[MySpace]]</del> [[Facebook]]
*You are not Heath Ledger.
*You are not a [[16 year old girl]]
*You haven't finished drafting your suicide note.
*You are not Hammy Havoc.
*You are a Jew.
*You are a [[ginger]].

===Why you ARE An Hero===
[[Image:Kurtcobain.jpg|thumb|right|The worst an hero. Can't you please fucking die a second time?]]
[[Image:Shottieluv.jpg|thumb|right|Thank me later ED]]
*You lost your [[iPod]].
*You [https://appleinsider.com/articles/09/07/21/worker_commits_suicide_after_iphone_prototype_goes_missing_reports.html lost] your [[iPhone]] 4G Prototype.
*You have lost the game.
*[[No one likes you]].
*[[An Wiiro|Your dad would not let you play Wii]].
*The world shall not [[ignore]] your pain any longer..
*You got a ticket for a ride on a [[Heaven's Gate|spaceship behind a comet.]]
*Your girlfriend dumped you.
*Your parents won't let you go see [[My Chemical Romance]].
*[[Rudolph Zurick|Your prison lover left you]].
*You are in an "internet suicide room."
*You got rejected from [[MIT]] or [[Harvard]].
*The [[Codey Porter|sand ninjas]] from ''Naruto'' made you kill yourself in a small sandbox.
*[[L._Ron_Hubbard|You]] overdosed on drugs when trying to create more stories for your [[Scientology|cult]] to believe.
*You get butthurt from people calling you a [[newfag]], when in reality...[[Fail|you are]].
*[[Self injury]] just wasn't enough.
*[[Twilight|Edward Cullen]] won't respond to your emails.
*You're [[Welfare|unemployed]].
*[[Megan Meier|You are in love with Josh Evans]].
*You think the internet is [[real]] life and you're AN HERO because some one who lives 5000 miles away says that your [[YouTube]] video is shit.
*You own a [[MacBook Air]].
*You're a "victim" of sexting.
*[[Your mom]] cancelled your [[World of Warcraft]] account.
*You are distraught that [[Michael Jackson]] died before he had a chance to molest you.
*You haven't had a girlfriend since [[1984]], and haven't gotten laid since [[George Sodini|1990]].
*You enjoy [[Dustin Michaels|choking on both cocks and weed]].
*You are [[Wikipedia:Jeremy Michael Boorda|Admiral Boorda]] and know that you'll never earn that fifth star.
*You are into [[Autoerotic asphyxiation]] and your [[orgasm]] lasted longer than you thought.
*You got falsely banned on a random wiki.
*[[Ricardo Lopez|You simp for Björk]]

===Famous Implements Used to Become An Hero===
[[Image:Wannabeanhero.jpg|thumb|right|No beating around the bush here.]]
[[File:Kill yourself desu.png|thumb|right|[[Some argue]] that anime contains subliminal messages that influence people to become an heroes]]
*[[Guns]]
*[[cutting|Razor blades]]
*[[Mitchell Henderson|A lost Ipod]]
*[[Mr. Hands|Sex with a horse]]
*[[Chris Benoit|Strangulation]]
*[[Criss Angel|Being a witch]]
*<s>[[Kool-aid]]</s> Actually [[fact|it was Grape Flavor-Aid]], Hollywood made it Kool-Aid.
*[[Kurt Cobain|Shotgun Mouthwash]]
*[[Lil_Peep|Drugs]]
*[[The Great Sonic-cide of 2007|Bricks and knives]]
*[[Robert Hawkins|Shooting up malls claiming you'll be famous]]
*[[Jesus|Pissing off the Jews and Romans, then carrying a crucifix up a hill so you can get nailed to it]]
*[[JEWS DID WTC|An American Aeroplane]]
*A circular saw
*[[Amanda Todd|Bleach]]
*Listening to the [[Anti-Lulz|<strike>Jonas</strike> Faggot]] Brothers
*Listening to Miley Cyrus
*[[Doki Doki Literature Club|Rope]]

==Types Of An Heroes==
===The Main Ones (Male And Female)===
==== "An Hero" ====
[[Image:Nigga_an_hero.PNG|thumb|right|Nigga drank bleach]]
[[Image:Nextanhero.jpg|thumb|left|An Hero coming soon?!]]
[[Image:Lulzycolumbine1.jpg|thumb|left|An heroes to us all!]]
[[Image:YahooAnHero.jpg|thumb|left|[[unfunny|Become an hero!]]]]

{{quote|I'm not a boy, I'm just an hero, I'm not a man, I'm an hero.|[[gay|Gerard Way]] of [[My Chemical Romance|My Chemical Bromance]]}}

In spite of the obvious similarities, "an Hero" should not be confused with "[[Nigra|a Negro]]" or "[[Necrophilia|a Necro]]".

It is also an obscure [[fact]] that the song "And the Hero Will Drown" by Story of the Year was originally titled "An Hero Will Drown Himself".

[[File:Thic_quang_duc.jpg|thumb|Greatest an hero of all time.]]

It is a little known fact that the plural of an hero is "one's heroes," its grammar based in [[British]] [[English]]. This will remain a little known fact, [[Noone cares|as nobody gives a fuck]].

=====Japanese East Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere An Hero=====

Yukio Mishima, Japan's leading Cocksman, achieved the highest score playing seppuku on his [[Nintendo]] Color TV Game. For his achievements, The Japanese Self Defense Forces gave him a high-five and a pat on the back for good measure, but secretly they laughed at him behind his back. Mishima saw a printed [[AIM]] CONVO of their giggling and was transformed into a mighty Showa [[Emo]]fag. He knew that something had to be done immediately, so he went inside and had one of his pretty young men behead him after he disemboweled himself.

{{frame|<youtube>IasOkulcDQk</youtube>|margin=auto}}

==== "[[An Heroine]]" ====
[[Image:Sexy an heroine.jpg|thumb|The fakest an [[Whore|heroine]] that ever was.]]
For most men, before they become "An Hero", they kill themselves in order to deliver a final "Fuck You" to the world. Male suicide is [[over 9000]] times more prevalent than female suicide, simply because a man has [[at least 100]] times as much testosterone as your average woman, and is usually possessed of a certain degree of mechanical aptitude, which women never are.

Women commit suicide for one of only two reasons. In the lesser case, they've lost someone they love and can't imagine [[dying alone]]. They decide to do Mother Nature and humanity a solid by also removing themselves from the gene pool.

In all other cases, the woman attempts [[suicide]] and fucks up, resulting in her accidental death. Women are impelled to feign suicide whenever they are beset by despair. [[Attention whore|These women]] believe that people around them will support and comfort them, even if the only person from whom they're in danger is themselves. This is colloquially known as a "cry for help". They tend to use "sleeping pills" in their attempt and often need to try again. Maybe if they self-headshotted like a real man, they'd be successful.

''See also:'' [[Unrealistic Expectations]] and [[Celebrity|Hollywood Martyr]]. The only female an heroes worth mentioning are [[Megan Meier]], whose suicide produced epic [[BAWWW]] all over the internets, and [[Christine Chubbuck]], a '70s news anchor who shot herself during a live newscast moments after [[did it for the lulz|making a joke]] that she was doing so in accordance with network policy to bring the viewers more "blood and guts".

=====[[JEWS DID WTC|Emos did Hannah Bond]]=====

Those who comprise the 'emo scene', specifically [[My Chemical Romance]], were criticized by the coroner at the inquest into the death (by hanging) of a girl from Maidstone, Kent in the [[United Kingdom]] named [[Hannah Bond]].

Fuck her.

===An Villain===
[[File:NaomiMisoraAnHero.png|thumb|With the help of a [[Death Note|magic notebook]], this woman became an hero. The an villain who had the same notebook made this happen.]]
Sometimes an heroes need a gentle nudge in the right direction, this is why "an villains" exist. By committing some serious [[IRL]] trolling, you too can drive that wannabe an hero to achieve his/her full potential. Good examples of an villains include [[Gary Oak]] (the Ash you see nowadays is a different one), [[Jesus]] and Bowser. Be warned that even though being an villain is a kind and noble act, many do not see it this way. Many will try to hurt, kill, rape or even troll you (it's like the goatse man getting goatsed). Be sure to always pack some heat and carry a razor blade; an villains can turn into an heroes too.

===An Sidekick===
Sometimes a person's motivation for becoming an hero is the very thing that prevents them from doing so; due to [[AIDS|sickness]], [[Christopher Reeve|paralysis]], [[Josef Fritzl|incarceration]] or even mental retardation. In this case they may need to recruit an sidekick to [[Murder|assist]] them in their [[Suicide|endeavour]], usually a close friend, family member, or helpful doctor.

===SecondhANd HERO===
[[Copypasta]] from [[TOW]]:

[[wikipedia:Anna_Svidersky|Anna Esther Svidersky]] (April 26, 1988 – April 20, 2006) was a [[16-year-old girl|teenager]] who lived in the U.S. city of Vancouver, Washington, and was murdered while working in a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, by schizophrenic sex offender David Barton Sullivan. News of her [[death]] quickly spread worldwide, initially through the [[Internet]] friends site [[MySpace]], where she had a personal page, and then through other [[ED|similar sites]].

===An Hero Deluxe===

These are just like the inferior version, with one exciting difference: they kill everyone they encounter, and then use their last bullet to clean the slate.

====Instructions====

#Having made all other preparations common to regular procedure, proceed to your nearest arms dealer, the more illegal the better.
#Buy whatever you can lay your hands on (bonus points for automatics and/or [[shotgun]]s).
#Find an occupied area (bonus points for schools and hospitals; score is doubled if you hate anyone usually found there).
#Kill em' all, baby.
#Remember: that last shot is for you.

====Notable Instances:====
{{Incompletehero}}
*[[Adam Lanza]]
*[[Asa Coon]]
*[[Munich Massacre|Ali David Sonboly]]
*[[Brandon Scott Hole]]
*[[Vester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan II|Bryce Williams]]
*[[Chris Benoit]]
*[[Chris Harper-Mercer]]
*[[Cho Seung-Hui]]
*[[Devin Patrick Kelley]]
*[[Columbine|Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris]]
*[[Elliot Rodger]]
*[[Éric Borel]]
*[[Campinas Cathedral Shooting|Euler Fernando Grandolpho]]
*[[Zug Massacre|Friedrich Leibacher]]
*[[Luby's massacre|George Hennard]]
*[[George Sodini]]
*[[Gian Luigi Ferri]]
*[[Suzano School Shooting|Guilherme Taucci Monteiro and Luiz Henrique de Castro]]
*[[Jake Davison]]
*[[Jaylen Fryberg]]
*[[Jeff Weise]]
*[[Kimveer Gill]]
*[[Marc Lepine]]
*[[Nghtmrchld26|Matthew Murray]]
*[[Michael Kenneth McLendon]]
*[[Michael Ryan]]
*[[Mutsuo Toi]]
*[[Nasim Aghdam]]
*[[Nathan Gale]]
*[[Pulse Nightclub Massacre|Omar Mateen]]
*[[Pekka-Eric Auvinen]]
*[[Randy Robert Stair]]
*[[Rina Palenkova]]
*[[Robert Card]]
*[[Robert Hawkins]]
*[[Robert Steinhäuser]]
*[[Ronnie McNutt]]
*[[Santino William Legan]]
*[[Sayfullo Saipov]]
*[[Sebastian Bosse]]
*[[Shuaiby|Shuaiby Aslam]]
*[[Stephen Kazmierczak]]
*[[Stephen Paddock]]
*[[Thomas Watt Hamilton]]
*[[Tim Kretschmer]]
*[[Tobias Rathjen]]
*[[Verne Troyer]]
*[[Vladislav Roslyakov]]
*[[William Atchison]]
*[[Woo Bum-kon]]

=== IRL usage of ''an Hero'' prior to the 20th century [[faggotry|fagification]] of the [[Engrish]] language ===
While "an Hero" is regarded as a grammatical error by modern [[Noam Chomsky|linguists]], [[tl;dr|usage of the quantifier ''an'' before words that started with a morpheme of the pattern ''CV'' that began with an ''h'' in the onset was common usage before the <s>17th</s>20th century]]. {{tinyquote|But thou complying with thy princely wrath, hast shamed an Hero whom themselves the Gods delight to honor|Cowper's translation of Homer, circa 1790. Clearly, this implies that Mitchell Henderson is a time traveler from the 16th century who killed himself over a perceived decline in the English language.}}

As h is often unspoken in certain British dialects, the "an" of "an hero" could be phonetically appropriate when speaking cockney:
{{tinyquote|'E's an 'ero for savin' me mum!}}

'''''A Dictionary of the English Language''''' (1824), defines the word ''heroical'' as something befitting [https://books.google.com/books?id=lqsRAAAAIAAJ&pg=PA348&dq=%22an+hero%22#v=onepage&q=%22an%20hero%22&f=false an hero].

'''''The Gentleman's Magazine''''' (1787) [https://books.google.com/books?id=ykwDAAAAMAAJ&pg=PA209&dq=%22an+hero%22#v=onepage&q=%22an%20hero%22&f=false uses] an hero like a pro, and also includes many references to [[penis|Johnson]].

==Honoring An Heroes==
===An hero Day===
[[Image:Mickey-suicide.jpg|thumb|right|an hero day]]
*On '''April 20, 571''' AD, Mohammed was born. For centuries to come, countless [[Islam|Muslims]] would honor their prophet by becoming an heroes.
*On April 20th, [[At least 100 years ago|1889]], [[Adolf Hitler]] was born. After causing [[Holocaust|lulz]], he became an hero.
*On April 20th, [[World War II|1945]] - [[military|The US Military]] captured Leipzig, Germany. Leipzig's mayor killed himself, becoming an hero, but not before he killed his wife and child for the lulz, making him pretty awesome; otherwise nobody would give a shit about him.
*On April 20th, 1998, A German-Iranian kid was born with the name of [[Ali Sonboly]]. In 2016, he would cause his own lulzfest in Munich.
*On April 20th, 1999, [[Columbine|two heroes]] named Eric and Dylan decided to shoot up their school for the lulz. After killing 13 people, they became an heroes.
*On April 20th, [[2006]], [[Mitchell Henderson]] was having a bad day, and he couldn't find his [[iPod]]. He finally couldn't take it anymore, and so he became an hero.
*On April 20th, [[2007]], [[wikipedia:Johnson_Space_Center_Shooting|a man raided mission control]] in [[Houston]] and shot a hostage before shooting himself. Houston, we have an hero.
*On April 20th, 2007, [[Ben Vodden]] hanged himself because his bus driver called him a wank.
*On April 20th, [[2010]], an [[oil]] rig off the Gulf Coast called [[Deepwater Horizon]] was blown up by [[Islam|Muslims]]. Stoners all over the world didn't notice.
*An hero day is also '''[[Weed|4/20]]''', count on many stoners tripping balls as you end yourself

===[[Asperger's Syndrome|Songs]]===

==== Hero Anthem ====
[[Image:Lemmingsbecominganheroes.jpg|thumb|right|[[The An Heroes of Bridgend|Teenagers in a small town in south Wales becoming an heroes]] [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/bridgend-deaths-police-warn-of-bebo-internet-suicide-cult-774532.html simultaneously].]]

:''Where have all the good parents gone?''
:''And where is my iPod?''
:''Where's the street-wise bullies?''
:''To assault me after school?''
:''Isn't there a teacher in a fiery tie?''
:''Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I'll be''

:'''''(Chorus)'''''
:''I'll be An Hero''
:''I'm becoming An Hero at the end of the night''
:''I just killed two cops''
:''And I'm gonna be dead''
:''And I'm gonna be fresh from the morgue''

:''I'll be An Hero''
:''I'll be discovered by Mom in the morning light''
:''I had a bad day''
:''And I was called gay''
:''And now I'm gonna be larger than life''

:''I’ll be An Hero''

:''Somewhere after midnight''
:''In my depressing LiveJournals''
:''Somewhere, just beyond my reach''
:''There's a noose in reach of me''

:''Racing to the bathtub''
:''And cutting both my wrists''
:''It's gonna take a headshot to sweep me off my feet, yeah''

:'''''(Repeat Chorus)'''''

:''Down where the grave meet the Hells below''
:''Out where the trolls splits MySpace''
:''I swear everyone says [[DO IT FAGGOT]] to me''
:''Through the wind and the chill and the rain''
:''As I drink all the bleach''
:''I can feel its approach like a fire in my throat''

:'''''(Repeat Chorus)'''''
:''I’ll be An Hero''
:''I'm becoming An Hero at the end of the night''
:''I just killed two cops''
:''And I’m gonna be dead''
:''And I’m gonna be fresh from the morgue''

:''I’ll be An Hero''
:''I'll be discovered by Mom in the morning light''
:''I had a bad day''
:''And I was called gay''
:''And now I’m gonna be larger than life''

:''Now I’m An Hero.''

==== An Heroes Song ====

[[Image:Scorpio.png|thumb|right|Scorpios were born to An Hero.]]
(To the tune of "Heroes" by David Bowie.)

''I-I wish I could find''

''Find my iPod-Nano 16 gig''

''Though nothing-nothing will keep us together''

''I can't find it-I've lost it forever''

''Oh I'll be an hero-on 'An Hero Day'''

''We-we've been playing''

''Playing-playing some 'Doom'''

''And Manson he told us to slay''

''Oh let's be an heroes-on 'An Hero Day'''

''We can PWN them-on 'An Hero Day'''

''I-I went on Bebo''

''I saw-BSC''

''And in Wales-and found me a tree''

''Tied my rope-put my neck through the hoop''

''But before-told 'The Sun' bout me''

''I stood on the stool-kicked it from beneath me''

''Oh I'll be an hero-cos Bridgend is shit''

''Let's be an heroes (3X)''

''On 'An Hero Day'''

''Let's be an heroes''

''We're dying, and dying by ourselves''

''We need attention, oh put me on 4chan''

''But we could be famous, til the meme dies''

''Oh, oh, oh, ohhh-oh, oh, oh, ohhh, on 'An Hero Day'''

''Oh, on 'An Hero Day'''

==== NotAnotherAnthem ====

''I promised him I wouldn't be reckless. I promised him I'd be okay...I love him....tell him I love him. And tell him to not be so upset about me...I don't want him to dwell on what could have been. I don't want to ruin his life.''

====The [[fact|Official]] An Hero Song====
 
{{frame|<youtube>LW3K_zzlH4Y</youtube>|margin=auto}}
 

==The "An Hero" Paradox==
[[Image:Wlkyanhero.jpg|thumb|right|Even the liberal [[media]] wants you to become an hero.]]

Scientists have theorized about what is known as the "An Hero" paradox. In order for such a paradox to take place, two people with [[iPod]]s must steal each other's [[iPod]]. The obligation to become an hero would conflict with the gain of an [[iPod]], most likely producing the same results as [[Divide by zero|dividing by zero]].

Scientists resolved the problem by confirming that anyone who owns an [[iPod]] should become an hero immediately due to the intense [[fail]] of [[iPod]]s. The only problem with this is that only [[emo]] [[faggots]] use [[iPod]]s. And [[you]] should know that emos never kill themselves (sadly).

==Videos==
===Video tutorials on how and how not to an hero===
 
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|hero2vids|font-weight: bold;|
|<dailymotion>x3qtvz_alternate-happy-days-tv-intro_fun</dailymotion>
;1
|<youtube>ErOHLMmaZ3Y</youtube>
;2}}
|}}
}}
 
=== GLORIOUS NUCLEAR SUICIDE ===
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>wcW_Ygs6hm0</youtube>
<center>'''Of all the ways to become an hero, this is the best by far'''}}</center>
 


==Gallery Of An Heroism==
{{Incompletehero}}
{{cg|Gallery|anherogallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mitchellhenderson.jpg|[[Mitchell Henderson]]
Image:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|[[Budd Dwyer]]
Image:Robin-williams-suicide.png|[[Robin Williams|Even millionaires seek attention sometimes]].
Image:Jailsuicide.gif
Image:Anhero3.gif|[[Ricardo Lopez|A tribute to]] [[Tranny|Bjork]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:SamHengel.jpg|[[Sam Hengel|Good example of Troll's Remorse]].
File:ItsBetterThisWay.gif
Image:an_other_slowly_hero.jpeg
Image:Anhero-animu-motivational.png| [[Animu]] [[An Hero]]
File:Hero.gif
Image:Derren Brown Russian Roulette gLk7AR.jpg | Brit fag in the middle of An Heroing
Image:Emile_Henry_1872-1894.jpg|Vintage 19th Century French An Hero.
Image:HaroMerge.jpg
Image:Anherologs.png|[[Bureaucratic fuck]]s on an hero.
Image:an_hero_emo_Hardcore.gif|Typical an hero wallpaper.
Image:DawnOfTheBlackHearts.jpg|[[Black Metal|Per "Dead" Ohlin of Mayhem]].
Image:Anherodiver.PNG|Yahoo!
Image:An_heroes_1.png
Image:Annhiro.jpg|The fuck you carr me for??
Image:Jakeroberts.jpg|[[An Wiiro]]
Image:anheromotivational.jpg
Image:LocalAnHeroes.jpg|<center>Support your local an hero! (They won't die if you don't give them a reason.)</center>
Image:Anheroic.jpg|calling helen of troy 'an heroic voice' is pretty fucking lulzy, in general
Image:Jennygrant.jpg|Sometimes [[Jenny Grant|whores]] an hero too.
Image:Angyrohero-1-.jpg
Image:Prinz.jpg
Image:BandDBurgers.JPG|Eating a 4 pound hamburger and a pound of fries doesn't make one an hero, but since the creator used quotation marks, we forgive him.
Image:SuicideGuidline.jpg|Proper guideline for arranging an hero entertainment.
Image:Stupid nigger.gif|black person have difficulty becoming an hero.
File:An bundy.jpg|Bundy approved
File:Becumanhurro.jpg|Do what the big man says.
Image:Anheronerd.jpg
File:Baby an hero.jpg|It's never too early to start.
File:4chan pilleating cracker.jpg|OP pulls off a [[ripper]]/[[CandyJunkie]]
File:OP is dead.jpg|I accidently the entire bottle,is this bad?
File:IMHOMERSIMP.png|[[The Simpsons|Well, I don't need safety gloves, BECAUSE I'M HOMER SIMP-]]
File:Kaboom.gif
File:An_hero.jpg
File:An_hero2.jpg
File:An_hero_is_born.jpg
File:An_hero_is_kaeliah.gif
File:An_hero_vs_an_aspie.png
File:An_heronie.jpg
File:Swayzak2.jpg|Swayzak, a rare case when the an hero is obscure CGI.
File:Kermit-falling.gif|Even [[Muppets|Kermit The Frog]] can become an hero!

</gallery>}}

==See Also==
*[[A and an]]
*[[An Halo]]
*[[An hero day]]
*[[Bullying]]
*[[Coffin]]
*[[Final solution]]
*[[Golden iPod]]
*[[Robert Seman]]
*[[League of an Heroes]]
*[[Lil Peep]]
*[[Kate Spade]]
*[[Mia Janin]]
*[[Mitchell Heisman]]
*[[OldDirtyBtard]]
*[[Ricky Rodriguez]]
*[[Stiletto Null]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[Suicidal Failure]]
*[[The An Heroes of Bridgend]]
*[[The Choking Game]]
*[[Tiziana_Cantone|Tiziana Cantone]]
*[[Rorochan]]
*[[My Hero Academia]]
*[[Swayzak]]

Or you could just look at the template down below.

'''The Happening'''

In this movie, an unknown source releases a chemical that causes entire populations of people to kill themselves and become an heroes. As a matter of fact, the only people in the movie who do not become an heroes are the main characters, as if this wasn't a drawn-out horror movie [[meme|cliché]]. As the movie does not explain much about it's own plot in the end and watching it is a huge waste of time for anybody.

Actually, the 'unknown source' was a bunch of [[LOL WUT|fucking plants]]. Angry, vengeful plants. Never before in a movie have there been so many stock shots of wind blowing ominously through foliage, and never before have so many enviro-Nazis simultaneously wet themselves.

==External Links==
*{{wayback|http://stupidteencrimes.com/|20100426021745|title=Stupid Teen Crimes}}
*'''{{archive|gPAQC|TAIWO AKINKUNMI - AN HERO WITHOUT HONOR}}'''
*[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7234115.stm Bridgend], where Heroes go to copy the [[Internets]]. 
*[[wikipedia:Frustration|The cause of an heroism on TOW]]
*'''{{archive|1PWKb|A list of An Heros and Attempted Heros}}'''
*'''{{archive|2YgDf|LHC an hero!}}'''
*{{wayback|http://mitchellanhenderson.ytmnd.com/|20100210092714}}
*[http://www.depressed.net/suicide/]
*[https://au.news.yahoo.com/worker-commits-suicide-over-misplaced-iphone-5743721.html Worker commits suicide over misplaced iPhone]
*'''{{archive|Bu67O|Man commits suicide after losing free buffet for life at casino.}}'''
*'''{{archive|B29ln|Some redneck kills wife, four others and self over EGGS.}}'''
*[https://darwinawards.com/ Big collection of heroes who did it for the lulz.]
{{clear}}

{{anheroes}}
{{Dying_Alone}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Memes}}
{{top16}}
{{Timeline|Featured article April 20, [[2008]]|[[Aliza Shvarts]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[God hates fags]]}}

{{timeline|Featured article September 19 & 20, [[2018]]|[[Suicide]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Mitchell Henderson]]}}

[[Category:An Heroes| ]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Guro]]

Divide by zero

2024-08-17T03:08:32Z

Stooge: I deem this article in need of a cleanup.

{{cleanup}}
{| class="toccolours" style="float:right; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; width:200px; text-align:left; clear:right;"
| style="background:#000080; text-align:center;"|
[[Image:Division_by_zero_win32.gif|noframe|center|190px]]
|-
|
{{finalsolutions}}
|-
|}
'''Divide by zero''' is a [[lolwut|hypothetical mathematical command of dividing an alphanumeric value by zero]]. It is a topic only encountered in the realm of theoretical physics and neurobiology. [[aspies|Connoisseurs of the subject]] believe that attempting to divide by zero will bring about the end of existence and the dawn of the age of an empty universal constant consisting of a predicted amount of 1 - 10,000 quarks, around 250 atoms, and dark-energy and dark-matter at nearly 80,000 times the present concentration, and a new solar-system consisting of five planets. (Three brown-dwarfs, the past debris of Jupiter combined with quarks, and a fifth planet (See? We can be serious), which is believed that it will be the nest for future p[[ED]]<nowiki />ophiles (Fuckin' got 'em).

==Important Notice==
While it was previously thought impossible for a mortal being to divide by zero, a new breakthrough in the field of lulz has been made. [[shit nobody cares about|It has been made clear that when you stimulate a Catholic with the statement "God does not exist.", divide by zero takes place within their brains, causing them to go into apeshit defense mode.]]

== Historical Importance ==

The earliest known presence of Division/Zero is it's appearence in ancient South American temples, written on the inner and outerwalls, usually in [[Shit nobody cares about|Paraguay]] and [[Peru]]. In 1947, Dutch-Belgian Theoretical Physicist and Uncle of [[Pedobear]], Dr. Anton Aldenberg, theorized that a division of nothing equals the non-zero value, for example, 4 being divided by 0 would be 4, as 4 is not divided at all, leaving 4. However, [[Albert Einstein]] corrected him by saying that the equation deals mainly with division of Zero itself, not with another value. Most members of the National Academy Of Science agree with this, but nevertheless, the question of what the actuall question ''is'' remains in hot-debate between [[Virgins|Scientists.]]

==Theories and Conjecture==
[[Image:Result of a division by 0.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Not even Math is safe.]]
[[Image:Indian.PNG|thumb|right|One of the believed out-comes of Division of Zero.]]

[[Contrary to popular belief]], dividing a constant by zero does not equal infinity, except in regards to limits. While [[some argue]] that dividing by zero is both impossible and meaningless, there are still others who believe it to be [http://www.bbc.co.uk/berkshire/content/articles/2006/12/06/divide_zero_feature.shtml possible]. Regardless of the possibility of division by zero, one consensus can be reached; if anyone were to ever complete this mathematical computation, universe-ending paradox would ensue destroying anything and everything.

Division itself has features of a tangent function, but works in the opposite direction. Division by zero is the point at which the result is both everything and nothing, just like <code>tan90</code>.

Sometimes, catastrophic events can happen when you even only THINK about dividing by zero:

:'''<RichLow> CAN YOU DIVIDE BY ZERO???'''
:'''<kardus> yes'''
:'''<kardus> watch'''
:'''<Not_Sir_Compuret_of_Computron> Yes.'''
:'''<kardus> OH SHI--'''
:'''<nowiki>*</nowiki> kardus has quit IRC (Quit: )'''

The invention of [[Science|Nullity]] to solve 1/0 = ? has generated a wave of new numbers, all of which are useful for the good of mankind. For example, [[Pi]] is no longer equal to [[Pi|3.14159265358979323]] and so on. Rather, it is now equal to '''Eleventeen.''' Successfully dividing by zero results in excessive undirects, and often indirects, and occasionally [[Goatse|redirects]].

It is [[common knowledge]] that [[Hawt|Kari Byron]] of the [[Mythbusters]] [[Lie|died]] on June 16, [[2007]] while attempting to divide by zero. It is also [[common knowledge]] that [[Mythbusters]] and [[Math|mathematicians]] are idiots.

[[Some argue]] that our universe, and the big bang that started it all, might be the result of an [[newfag|individual]] in an alternate universe who divided by zero.
By studying the image righthand, we can tell that division by zero makes logical sense only if "a" is equal to zero.

== Dividing by zero (÷0) in gaming ==
<center><youtube>YTUOn2EUFhk</youtube></center>

== Other shit ==

<s>BREAKING NEWS!

I've concluded that dividing by zero would result in a answer similar to that of multiplying by 1. e.g., Divide ONE brownie by 0. 0 = nothing, thus you are saying divide one brownie by nothing, thus resulting in the brownie, yes I just divided by zero, and yes, by the power of my awesome brain, I hereby declare "the game" null and void.

Good day sirs! toodles~</s>

Good sir, mathematics has decided that you are a bellend, know nothing of its complexity, write [[tl;dr]] and should immediately become [[an hero]]

{{cg|Gallery of Calcu--ERROR ERROR|calcgallery|center|<gallery style="text-align:center;">
Image:Dividebyzero.jpg|Windows Calculator is a piece of shit.
Image:OHSHI-.png|...and so is its pocket counterpart.
Image:Vistaby0.jpg|Even Vista agrees: There is no dividing by zero.
Image:Calc_by_zero.png|Even Windows 7 can't divide by zero!
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Mac_plus_divide_by_zero.JPG|Even in the days of System 7, Macs couldn't divide by zero.
Image:Infinity osxcalc.png|should be + and -...
Image:Zero Divided By Zero - OS X.jpg|0/0 = [[Lie|Not a number]]
Image:Pcalc_div_0.png|Ew, OVER FLOW.
Image:Positive Infinity.jpg|Windows 98 reporting an interesting result.
Image:Divide 0 linux.png|GNOME in [[Lunix]] won't divide by zero.
Image:infkcalc.png|But KDE can.
Image:TI86_DivByZero.jpg|A TI-86 can't get the job done.
Image:Bbdivide.jpg|Even blackberrys fail to divide by zero, but then again, they fail at everything
Image:TI-89_Divide_By_Zero.JPG|Even a [[Engineer|TI-89 Titanium]] cannot divide by zero!
Image:Iphone-div0.jpg|even the iphone can't divide by zero
Image:phpcantdevideby0.png|I knew [[Php|The best language ever]] could not divide by zero!
Image:Divide0.jpg|It even happens in Calculus homework--no, ESPECIALLY in Calculus homework.
Image:Dividebyzerowolfram.png|Nope, not even Wolfram Alpha can.
</gallery>|}}

==Dividing by Zero on YouTube==
<center>{{fv|divide|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>1DFed7jG3i8</youtube> |<youtube>JORcEeAV_vk</youtube> |<youtube>aYjyGwtj0Gw</youtube> |<youtube>PDKMX1h_fG8</youtube>}}
</center>


==Division by Zero Possible?==

Any number divided by zero should result in end of universe.

X/0=.....

<nowiki>O SHI-</nowiki>

(This, of course, [[some argue|is debatable]], as the content of this article [[WTF|has contained division by zero at least 10 times already]], [[O RLY?|and we aren't all dead yet...]])

an interesting result is if you divide 0 by 0, then

0/0=1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,...,[[Numberwang|over 9000, positive infinity, negative infinity, 3i+1 and all other numbers both real and imaginary]]

<nowiki>FUCKING SWEET, PUT ON HOME WORK ALWAYS RIGHT!!!</nowiki>

But wait! Think of as a pie, x/0 = x, You cut the pie 0 times. So you get a whole
Just like multiplying by one

[[Shit nobody cares about|It should be noted that division by zero is only undefined for non-integral domains and it is in fact possible to define a ring where some numbers may be divided by zero. For example, if two numbers are considered to be the same if they have the same units digit (ie, the integers modulo 10), then 2 divided by 0 is 5 because 2*5 = 10 = 0.]]

== What you do to survive the universe's asplosion ==

# Start [[shit]]ing [[dicks]]
# '''Eat yourself'''
# Watch your family die in pain
# ???
# PROFIT

'''BTW,''' if you [[FAIL]] at eating yourself, repeat step one and then become [[an hero]]

== Division by zero will always create a contradiction ==

{{blueblink|New and improved proof!}}

[[TL;DR]]

To see the most simple example, we begin with:

A/B = C

Now, we choose B to be equal to 0, and A will be equal to 3 as in the Trinity (any non zero number). C will be left undefined, as its value does not matter. Our equation now reads:

3/0 = C

A/B = C can be rewritten as:

A = B*C

Plugging in our variables, we get:

3 = 0*C

3 = 0

The rearrangement was needed to avoid having to deal with the indeterminate.

As proven, any time a division by zero happens, a contradiction will always be formed. This means you may not divide by zero, as it will always create something that is [[truth|untrue]].

== Indeterminate ==

The exception to the rule of dividing by zero yielding a contradiction is zero divide by zero. This is of the form called "indeterminate." It is called this because it 0/0 falls under two different mathematical rules. The two rules are:

:a/a = 1

and

:0/a = 0

0/0 is under both of those. Since neither has precedence over the other, we call 0/0 indeterminate. The indeterminate family has many other members, such as infinity / infinity. To be a member of this family, two different rules must apply to the same equation.

== Actual Mathematical Approach to Dividing by Zero ==

[[nerd|Therefore, for all intents and purposes, when presented with any number divided by zero we say the product is undefined. But if zero is divided by zero we say the answer is indeterminate. For example:]]

[[nerd|0/5 = 0]]
[[nerd|5/0 = undefined]] (It just [[DO NOT WANT|doesn't fucking exist]]!)
[[nerd|0/0 = indeterminate]]

==Non-Mathematical Approach to Dividing by Zero==
When you divide a shape into 4 you add 2 lines through the middle (adding to the outline). Divide by 2, 1 line. Divide by 1 no lines. Divide by 0, no outline. In other words, the confines of reality within the shape, cease to be, and the actual value is everything together, which would lead one to suggest that it's infinity, but it's not, [[retard]], [[bullshit|it's the biggest number possible (one which we don't know).]]
== Other math ==
Zero is not part of the division group. Dividing by zero is like attempting to rotate a figure by fish degrees. It's like trying to find a whole number between 3 and 4.

Multiplication = fancy addition, division = fancy subtraction (times subtracting to get to zero):
9*3 = 9+9+9,
9/3 = 9-3, 6-3, 3-3 (subtracted 3 times),
9/0 = 9-0, 9-0, 9-0 ... ad infinitum,
9/0 ≠ ∞

==A Logical Method of Dividing by Zero That STILL Equals Blackholes==
So, any of you who know how to multiply by zero should know: it always equals zero. For example: 4*0=0. Another thing, multiplication goes up (2*2=4), and division goes down (4/2=2). So surely by these rules...
4/0=-0.
Which would also mean 0/0=-0. I don't know why I said 4 so much.
[[tl;dr]]? Division is the opposite of multiplication so instead of =0, =-0 (negative zero).
Basically no matter what, 0/0 always equals 04 5417.

==The Actual Answer==
The actual numeral 0 is a place holder [[dumbass]], however most of you interpret zero as a [[you|value equal to nothing]], when you divide something into [[shit nobody cares about|no groups]], you have [[nothing]]. So 1/0 = 0, simple enough? No? Then [[get out]].

- A place holder for what, exactly? What happens when you divide by that?

==Projective Plane==
You can divide by zero if you don't actually do the division. That is - treat "numbers" as being a pair of natural numbers (a;b) with addition and multiplication rules as usual for fractions. To take a reciprocal, you swap the items in the pair.

==The Universe==
The Universe was caused by God dividing by zero. It's called "spontaneous symmetry breaking" - true nothingness is unstable. As the universe expands at an accelerating rate, this happens all the time at regular intervals in the empty space between galaxies. The so-called "start of the universe" was actually a mere local phenomenon.

==Gallery==
{{cg|Divided by a Collapsing Object|DBZGallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Ring_closet.jpg|This is what happens to you when you divide by zero.
Image:Don'tDivieByZero.jpeg|Good News everyone! [[DO IT FAGGOT|Don't do it!]]
Image:Disapopoint_divzero.jpg|Dividing by zero: The reality.
Image:Divide by zero.gif|Pretty fucking self-explanatory
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Sinkhole.jpg|A local divided by 0 in Guatemala.
Image:dividingbyzero.png|Does dividing by zero cause a resonance cascade?
Image:Divide by zer0.jpg|I told you not to divide by zero!
Image:Pothole divided by zero.jpg|City workers are particularly adept.
Image:Chrono_Vortex.jpg|OSHII--
Image:dividebyzero.png|FUCK NOT AGAIN!
Image:timeparadoxposter.jpg|Now in [[demotivator]] form!
Image:CaliforniaDestroyed.PNG|This is why we don't have nice things.
Image:Divide by zero.jpg|[[Einstein]] was the first person to successfully divide by zero.
Image:Mandorla.jpg|Oh shi-! It's the aliens’ symbol for 1/0!
Image:OLDED_Divide_by_zero.jpeg|Windows calculator is still shit.
Image:Fucking_awesome.jpg|OSHII--
Image:DividebyZero.png|A map.
Image:Portal_Infinity.jpg|[[Portal]] version.
Image:Black Hole House-06.jpg|Don't fuck with numbers you don't comprehend.
Image:Divi0_Wave.jpg
Image:Divi0_Wall.jpg
Image:Divi0_Bullets_mv.jpg
Image:Divided_by_0.jpg|[[Starcraft]] divides by zero and OH SHI-
Image:dukeby0.jpg|[[Duke Nukem 3D|Duke Nukem]] can't divide by 0.
Image:nuclear1.jpg|HOLY SHI--
Image:Hive paradox.JPG|note the epic combo
Image:mathdividebyzero.png|This is what happens when you try to cheat in math class.
Image:Creationistlogic0.jpg|[[Religion]] has no problem dividing by zero.
File:I divided by zero.jpg
File:Hitler paradox.png
</gallery>|0}}

==See Also==
*[[Double redirect]]
*[[Black Holes]]
*[[Apocalypse]]
*[[Large Hadron Collider]]
*[[Vandalize Every Equation]]
*[[Time Cube]]
*[[Combining Cyrillic Millions]]
*[[Rules of the Internet|Rule 37]]
*[[Fallacious Reasoning]]
*[[He Will Not Divide Us|The proper method of division]]

==External Links==
*[http://shii.org/knows/Lewis_Carroll Dividing by Zero] as explained by [[Shii]]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Yorktown_(CG-48) USS Yorktown decimated when dividing by zero]
*[https://youtu.be/Uz1q2YoxHJQ?t=754 1337 divided by 0]

{{science}}
{{memes}}

[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Chans]]
[[Category:Numbers]]

{{timeline|Featured article May 13 & 14, [[2023]]|[[Black Lives Matter]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TBA]]}}

Chairs

2024-08-13T17:55:13Z

Stooge: Added a redirect to the article on chairs.

#REDIRECT [[Chair]]

Jeffrey Epstein

2024-08-13T17:52:08Z

Stooge: Commented out the seo.

'''Jeffrey Edward Epstein'''{{jew}} was a [[Jewish]] billionaire and child molester, and was the Final Boss of {{strike|American}} International [[Paedophilia]], a title he earned by molesting [[at least 100]] children and getting away with it because of a combination of [[Jewgold]] and being friends with [[Bill Clinton]] and [[Donald Drumpf|the Trumps]].

Molesting more kids than [[Gary Glitter]], [[Jimmy Savile]] and [[Muhammad]] combined, this motherfucker had it down to a science. Not only would he fly kids around on his plane -- dubbed ''Lolita Express'' -- so that he could play doctor with them on his own private island, he actually [[genius|paid these girls to then go back home and convince their friends to let him fuck them, too]]!

One would think that over the course of the DECADES this was going on, someone would catch this fucker and hand him a [[over 9000|9000-year long]] sentence of sharing a cell with Bubba, but instead, when his crimes were FINALLY discovered, he only served one year in a federal country club, where he got to leave for 12 hours a day, six days a week for "work release" (the kind of sentence Jerry Sandusky only dreams he could have had). Too bad the "release" was only to do actual work, versus the kind of "release" he wishes he could do all over the face of some 9-year-old.
|image=Epstein-morrowind.png
|image_alt=Jeffrey Epstein
}}

{{pedo}}
{{Conspiracy}}
{{achtung|'''DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF '''}}
{|style="background-color: #F77FF7; border: 2px solid #000; padding: 1px; color:red" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 align="center"
|BGCOLOR=#fff| [[File:Budd Reverse.gif|150px]]
|style="padding:2px"|<center><big>iPod gone in suspicious circumstances?</big></center> <center>This page is about an [[lie|alleged]] [[an hero|hero]].</center>
|}<includeonly>[[Category:Suicide]]</includeonly><noinclude>
{{corner|br|[[File:Hanson_exploitable_fixed.png|50px]]}}

[[File:1_Billionaire-Businessman-and-Convicted-Paedophile-Jeffrey-Epstein.jpg|thumb|right|the billionaire businessman and convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein]]

'''Jeffrey Edward Epstein'''{{jew}} was a [[Jewish]] billionaire and child molester, and was the Final Boss of {{strike|American}} International [[Paedophilia]], a title he earned by molesting [[at least 100]] children and getting away with it because of a combination of [[Jewgold]] and being friends with [[Bill Clinton]] and [[Donald Drumpf|the Trumps]].

Molesting more kids than [[Gary Glitter]], [[Jimmy Savile]] and [[Muhammad]] combined, this motherfucker had it down to a science. Not only would he fly kids around on his plane -- dubbed ''Lolita Express'' -- so that he could play doctor with them on his own private island, he actually [[genius|paid these girls to then go back home and convince their friends to let him fuck them, too]]!

One would think that over the course of the DECADES this was going on, someone would catch this fucker and hand him a [[over 9000|9000-year long]] sentence of sharing a cell with Bubba, but instead, when his crimes were FINALLY discovered, he only served one year in a federal country club, where he got to leave for 12 hours a day, six days a week for "work release" (the kind of sentence Jerry Sandusky only dreams he could have had). Too bad the "release" was only to do actual work, versus the kind of "release" he wishes he could do all over the face of some 9-year-old.

==The Guy Qanon Warned You About==
[[File:Wayfair epstein connection.jpg|thumb|400px|right|[[Wayfair]] connection]]
Jeffrey's Magical Kiddie Playhouse was home to such impeccable decor as a life-sized mannequin in a wedding dress hanging from a chandelier, an entire wall made out of glass eyeballs intended for wounded British soldiers, and an oddly prophetic mural of him in prison, surrounded by barbed wire and guard towers, but conspicuously absent of a marauding horde of angry, horny niggers eager to show a rich Jew what happens to pedophiles in prison.
As if intentionally designed to get the Qanon and Pizzagate faggots at 8chan to furiously masturbate over the implications of creepy-ass, edgelord designs that would have been considered too on-the-nose even for a fucking Saw movie, his 7-story townhouse in Jew York City would have made the perfect Halloween attraction had it not been declared a crime scene for hosting more CP than AllTheFallen.ninja and Sarah Butts' hard drives put together. Cleverly hidden on compact discs labeled 'nude girls', either the guy is an absolute fucking retard when it comes to hiding his CP stash, or he was just that confident that the Party Van would never come for him again, and if it would, he'd get off scot-free once more. Given who his friends are, it's probably the latter.

== Wikipedia Shilling ==
After Epstein's arrest, mentions of Bill Clinton being with Epstein and Kevin Spacey on Jeff's rape island were removed from Epstein's Wikipedia page, but mentions of Epstein meeting with Donald Trump in the 1990s were not... (((Clearly nothing sinister here, folks))).

Similarly, the Wikipedo Jews pounced on the Epstein article straight away, deleting all mention of his Jewishness. Their excuse?

{{quote|On reflection, the addition of his ethnicity is not necessary. Few, if any, Jewish-Americans are identified as such on Wikipedia.|Ambitus (Wikipedia Editor)}}

You read that correctly. Wikipedia, where just being an American Jew is enough to get a work detail of basement-dwelling yids hammering out a 10k-word hagiography, thinks it's irrelevant to mention that Epstein is a kike. Never mind that TOW actually has a category that is fucking entitled {{wikilink|Category:American_Jews|"American Jews"}}, where thousands of hook-nosed yids are listed in a variety of subcategories, including Epstein himself.

== The Lolita Express ==
This being the nickname for the private plane in which Epstein's guests were shuttled back and forth to his private pedo paradise, Little St James, one of the smaller of the Caribbean Virgin Islands -- conveniently located off the southeastern tip (just the tip) of St. Thomas. People like Matt Groening and Bobby Kotick are really hoping that you forget about it, but as the saying goes, the internet never forgets. And neither should you.

== DUN DUN DUN ==
[[File:epstein-morrowind2.png|thumb|right|You feel like someone is watching you.]]
In July of 2019, Epstein was finally V& in Jew York after some (((journalist))) in Miami did an exposé on just how many people bent over backward to spare him from Bubba's BBC the last time he was v& for diddling little girls. Said (((journalist))) uncovered everything from a campaign of witness intimidation, sweetheart deals, a deliberate coverup of the involvement of everyone from Bill Clinton to Prince Andrew at Pedobear Island, to a claim that Epstein "belongs to the intelligence." Such arguments did not move New York prosecutors and judges. After his Fortress of Molestation was searched, an entire safe was found full of cash, diamonds, and a fake passport claiming that Epstein, a filthy kike, was a sand nigger from Saudi Arabia. Claiming that it was only because he knew what actual sand niggers think of rich Jews who molest kids, it's probably because he knows that child molestation is a time-honored tradition of Middle-Easterners and saw sand niglets as another source of underage poon once the American well runs dry.
Whatever the case, the means and motivation to flee proved too much, and he was ordered held without bail. {{strike|The only question now is whether or not Bubba will get to fuck him before he's inevitably found swinging in his cell or Tyrone shivs him to death in the cafeteria}} yeah that's not a question anymore now, is it...

== NYC Jail Injury and "Suicide" ==
[[File:epstein_headpat.gif|thumb|right]]
The asshole was found injured in his jail cell on the 24th of July, 2019 nearly unconscious, tied and gagged, in a fetal position, attempting to imitate the age group he has an obsession with. He has been placed on a suicide watch. At the time of writing this, it is unclear if it was suicide, a hit job, or someone beating the shit out of him because he's an alleged pedo. Apparently, he was put on suicide watch where he would be monitored 24/7 without any tools to commit suicide, but the camera just so happened to malfunction right when he died.

== Goodbye, cruel world ==
[[File:Epstein Final Mugshot.png|thumb|200px|right|his last mugshot]]
He ded, ladies and gentlemen. Handy Andy probably had something to do with his death if the tabloids are to be believed.
On the 10th of August, 2019 our unfortunate protagonist was found dead of apparent suicide in his jail cell. It's currently too early to state definitively whether or not his rich mates ordered the assassination or he was just a massive faggot and pussied out pre-trial, given he'd been up for some pretty heinous stuff in the past and walked away pretty much scot-free.
Rest in peace, Jeffrey. All the people listed in your black book will never miss you.

== Gallery of [[Rich|Gucci]] Billionaire Drip==

{{Collapsegallery|◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎♚♚♚Epstein Didn't Kill Himself♚♚♚◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎|cg1|center|<gallery>
File:Epstein 7.jpg|[[Bill Clinton]] with his buddy Jeffery
File:schiff_epstein1.png|Adam Shiff with Epstein
File:Epstein.jpg|He got them medals n' shit for being a super cool guy I guess.
File:Trump-and-Epstein.gif| the [[Liberal]] wet-dream holy hand grenade of media smear ammunition.
File:Trump-and-epstein-1.jpg| [[Trump]] and Epstein again
File:epstein-memes-6.png| Killed
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:The-Epstein-Bears.jpg|The Epstein Bears
File:Epstein wildin.jpg|chat bait
File:Epsteindidntkillhimself.jpg|Drake Agrees!
File:No_epstein.jpg |[[Reddit|Ghislaine Maxwell]] who procured minor girls with Epstein in a photo with Trump
File:epstein bass pro.jpg‎|The Bass Pro [[brb basement|building]] on Little Saint James Island in the U.S. [[Irony|Virgin]] Islands, where Microsoft Flight Simulator fans like to meet up and park their [[loli|planes]]
File:Rip epstein shirt.jpg| A [[Sam Hyde]] creation that became high fashion worth [[over 9000|over $9999]].
File:MDE Sam Hyde RIP Epstein For Sale.jpg| Seriously, it would have been a good investment
File:MEMES Guess Who won't die of COVID Epstein.png
</gallery>|border=#36c|color=#FFD700}}

== See also ==
* [[Alex Jones]]- he was right and this proves his reptilian conspiracies
* [[California]]- The land of the sodomite damned for prolific child-sex freaks.
* [[Woody Allen]]{{jew}} - fucked his underage daughter then married her and was an actor in Hollywood
* [[Roman Polanski]]{{jew}} - also part of the [[satan]]ic pedophile [[goth|cult]] [[Illuminati]] conspiracy, also a famous film director
* [[Harvey Weinstein]]{{jew}} - diddled most of Hollywood and was a film producer
* [[Jeff Goldblum]]{{jew}} - another Hollywood Jew who raped and knows the name of the [[dinosaur]] that has 500 teeth

==Hello World==
<center>
[[File:Epstien Drip Dramatica.online Invite.jpg|740px|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
</center>

{{pedoseries}}
{{jews}}
{{truth}}
{{sex}}
[[Category:Money]]
[[Category:2019]] [[Category:People]]

{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured Article]] for December 7 & 8, [[2023]]|[[Grand Theft Auto: Vice City]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Onde está Maddy? em português

2024-08-13T17:32:36Z

Stooge: Made some adjustments.

{{Spoiler|O corpo morto de Madeleine está sendo ræped para a direita agora}} {{fuck yeah|Madeleine dá foda, a sério!|Madeleine e ganhe £5,000,000!}}

<center><div style="background:#ededed; border:1px solid #444444; border-top:1px solid #aaaaaa; border-left:1px solid #aaaaaa; font-size:8pt; width:90%; padding:2px">'''WARNING!''' This page is written in retard-speak and should not be read by anyone.</div></center>

[[Image: Babymaddy.jpg|thumb|200px|right|SIM, QUEREM!]]
[[Image: McCann_right_eye.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Permanent Cumstain [[PROTIP]]: Jizz in ur Eyez!]]

'''Madeleine McCann ''' de quatro anos está provavelmente morta! [[England|English]] Ou então dando umas voltas em [[Portugal]]. Os seus pais fizeram um exame a ela numa excursão internacional para suplementar o seu vício de [[cocaine|cocaína]]. Quando dentro de [[Spain|Portugal]], os pais decididos ir ao jantar, e deixar seu amado cashcow, Maddy, sob o olho atento do seu irmão, [[baby|de 4 meses]], não imaginavam o que podia acontecer. Quando a mamã e o papá voltaram do jantar, esperaram [[At least 100|45]] minutos antes de chamar a Polícia. Isto era mais provável que fosse para esconder as provas, snifar a coca que sobrava, e transferir fundos de clientes para bancos estrangeiros. Até à data de [[last Thursday|última quinta-feira]], [[IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!|mais que £720,000]] (~$1.420.000) esteve levantado um processo para encontrar Maddie, enquanto black person dentro do [[Canada|Zambia]] continuarem falhando [[fail]] e sofrendo de [[AIDS]]. Entretanto, a Zâmbia não se importa, pois agora eles têm o [[jenkem]]! E ninguém se preocupa com os outros porque é [[Africa]] e eles são [[black|negros]].

==Kidnapping==
[[Image: MaddysTeddybear.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Maddy [[Pedobear]]!! 1!]]
[[Image: Mad_Money.jpeg|thumb|Como leite de [[lolcow]]?]]

Enquanto [[some argue|alguns discutem]] se Madeleine era [[Mexico|mexicana]], outras testemunhas reivindicaram que ela [[pedobear|teddybear]] foi saltada à vida e sequestrada. Os pais de Madeleine jantavam 100 milhas afastados, com outros [[Polyamory|swingers]] em um restaurante perto da filial do oceano da marca [[Childlove]]. Kate e Gerry McCann [[lie|disseram]] à Polícia que faziam rondas em que verificavam as suas crianças, a cada 3 dias. Aproximadamente [[lulz]] às 22 horas, ocidental, 2 dias mais tarde, Gerry verificou as crianças e eles estavam todos muito bem. ''' Em torno das 21:45 os pares retornados do restaurante vieram apenas para encontrar um berço cheio de [[condoms]] (preservativos) usados por Maddy, e ainda [[rape|roupa interior molhada]]. Relataram imediatamente à Polícia em algum ''' tempo mais tarde. A equipa de funcionários e os convidados no complexo procurararam até 4:30 enquanto polícias na beira espanhola e todos os aeroportos em Portugal e em Espanha foram notificados que não começariam sua volta com Maddie se não fosse encontrada. A busca continua…

==Efeitos imediatos==
[[At least 100|Pelo menos 100]] grupos do Facebook gritaram ao povo para achar Maddy. Os Portugueses ficaram entusiasmados agora que eram conhecidos não só por Hablar Español. [[Pedophiles]] [[fap]] to Maddie. A CNN ajudou ao reivindicar, pondo acima uma recompensa de $5.000.000 para o seu retorno seguro, apesar de ser [[shit nobody cares about|merda com que ninguém se importa]].

==Quem é responsabilizado? ==
[[Image: Badparents.jpg|thumb|left|Que nós?]]
*Os pais ([[Parents|parents]])

*([[PROTIP]] Uma baby-sitter do caralho)

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KukEXP67Ya8 David Beckham]

==Mas como posso eu ajudar? ==
[[Image: Maddieblinkie.gif |thumb|right|250px| [[MySpace]] layouts para ajudar Maddie]]

Apesar de muitos se sentirem incapazes de ajudar, há realmente uma quantidade que tremenda de coisas que podem fazer.

*Se você tem toda a informação sobre Pedófilos portugueses... Chamada 0-800-003040-0384. (Se você está chamando Habla Español internacional use o selector 001448000030400384)
*Junte-se a todos os 480 grupos sobre Maddie no [[facebook]]. Dinheiro!!
*Envie dinheiro!!
*Envie!
* [[Moar]] dinheiro!!
*Envia dinheiro, caralho! As regras diferentes do ''' do aplicam-se a [[B/|/b/tards]]. '''
*?????
*Find Maddie
*Perca a sua virgindade com ela.
* [[Rules of the internet|Pics or it didn't happen]]
*Poste em [[B|/b/]]
*Se você é demasiado ''virgem'' [[virgin]] para fazer o acima, [[Photoshop|shoop]] [[rule 34|rule 34]] de Maddie no /b/.

==Maddy e Pedobear Sightings==
[[Image: Madelinepedobear.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Vocês sabem que tenho inveja!]]
[[Image: Pedopedobear.jpg|thumb|left|Pedobear e Daddy de Maddy]]
[[Image: FindMaddie.jpg|thumb|200px|Onde poderá ela estar?]]
[[Image: FindMaddiecumshot.jpg|thumb|200px|Trova ela!]]

Acredita-se que o Pedobear descontou dos seus fundos da campanha para a Presidência '08, oferecendo-se para comprar Maddie aos seus captores de Marrocos. Os passatempos novos de Pedobear incluem mudar fraldas à Maddie, petting, e jogando ao lamber a manteiga de amendoim.

==Onde está Maddie agora? ==
Há muitas teorias sobre a posição actual de Maddy, desde que pelos ologists conduzindo o mundo [[lulz]].
* Tanzânia. Dando handjobs para o equivalente de $.15.
* Ainda com aproximadamente 45 Kakaroto milhas pedobear fora de Atlanta, onde são casados legalmente.
* Comida por nativos em Marrocos, ironicamente, agora fermentado como [[jenkem]].
* No Espaço. Como esse filme merdoso, o ''' partiu '''…

==Como fazer para encontrá-la==
Embora o Pedobear seja espertinho, você pode atrair Maddy liberando odores a doces, e moedas tilitando no seu bolso, é bem fácil. Uma maneira fácil distrair o impostor é a mancha do cumshot no olho direito de Madeleine. Obterá grande sucesso se você puder manter Maddy para si, você poderá usá-la para sexo até que você não possa o começar acima, a seguir gira-a dentro para a recompensa de $5.000.000. Qual você pode girar ao redor para o uso em [[Hookers and blow|Hookers e blow]]. 

==Updates mais recentes de cashcowmaddie.com==
Dia 45 - 17/06/2007 Kate e eu controlámos uma manhã adiantada funcionada antes da Igreja. O primeiro evento do nosso dia mais longo - a campanha do termo realizar-se-á em sexta-feira 22 de Junho onde esta marcará o 50th dia em que Madeleine está desaparecida. Nós estaremos lançando balões verdes e amarelos pelo menos de 50 centros mundialmente para marcar o facto de que nós estamos procurando ainda como são outros pais de crianças desaparecidas. Os países participantes, assim, são a distante Argentina, El Salvador, EUA, no Canadá, Irlanda, Reino Unido, Portugal (Kate e eu na Praia da Luz), Espanha, Alemanha, Emiradoss Árabes Unidos, Singapura, Austrália e Nova Zelândia. Todos os outros países que desejarem partcipar podem fazer o download da informação no Web site. 
Yeah, balões. Isso ajudará. Admitir apenas você fodeu e matou a sua filha. Que eu aposto que os balões farão exame para baixo pelo menos de 1 pessoa Buenos Aires plano da matança [[At least 100|pelo menos 100]] e [[noone]] não se importará com aquele. São justos usando isto para começar umas férias longas. Disseram que não sairiam de Portugal até que a sua filha voltasse. Estão-se fodendo com tanto dinheiro agora. Podem viver do dinheiro de Maddie e do achado por anos.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Maddy McCann.jpg|Onde estou eu?
Image:Madeleine_McCann_smoking.jpg|A vida é dura nestes dias… [http://missingmadeleine.com/]
Image:Wheresmaddie.jpg| Um livro das crianças clássicas
Image:Maddyandbro.jpg|Maddy e irmão, Navidad 2005
Image:Howdoigothome.jpg|Action webslinging
Image:Maddypwned.jpg
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Ohbutyouwillpet]]
*[[Pedobear]]
*[[irish282]]
*[[Portugal]]
*[[Childlove]]
*[[Totmom]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.findmadeleine.com/ Where's <strike>Waldo</strike> Maddy?] 
*[http://www.paypal.com/ That's Tekjester@gmail.com]

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:Sex]]

Jeffrey Epstein

2024-08-13T17:13:05Z

Stooge: Fixed a grammar error.

{{#seo:
|title=Jeffrey Epstein - Encyclopedia Dramatica
|title_mode=replace
|keywords=epstein, jeffrey, pedo, pedophile, cp, suicide, conspiracy, didn't, kill, himself, psyop, encyclopedia, dramatica, ed, wiki
|description='''Jeffrey Edward Epstein'''{{jew}} was a [[Jewish]] billionaire and child molester, and was the Final Boss of {{strike|American}} International [[Paedophilia]], a title he earned by molesting [[at least 100]] children and getting away with it because of a combination of [[Jewgold]] and being friends with [[Bill Clinton]] and [[Donald Drumpf|the Trumps]].

Molesting more kids than [[Gary Glitter]], [[Jimmy Savile]] and [[Muhammad]] combined, this motherfucker had it down to a science. Not only would he fly kids around on his plane -- dubbed ''Lolita Express'' -- so that he could play doctor with them on his own private island, he actually [[genius|paid these girls to then go back home and convince their friends to let him fuck them, too]]!

One would think that over the course of the DECADES this was going on, someone would catch this fucker and hand him a [[over 9000|9000-year long]] sentence of sharing a cell with Bubba, but instead, when his crimes were FINALLY discovered, he only served one year in a federal country club, where he got to leave for 12 hours a day, six days a week for "work release" (the kind of sentence Jerry Sandusky only dreams he could have had). Too bad the "release" was only to do actual work, versus the kind of "release" he wishes he could do all over the face of some 9-year-old.
|image=Epstein-morrowind.png
|image_alt=Jeffrey Epstein
}}

{{pedo}}
{{Conspiracy}}
{{achtung|'''DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF '''}}
{|style="background-color: #F77FF7; border: 2px solid #000; padding: 1px; color:red" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 align="center"
|BGCOLOR=#fff| [[File:Budd Reverse.gif|150px]]
|style="padding:2px"|<center><big>iPod gone in suspicious circumstances?</big></center> <center>This page is about an [[lie|alleged]] [[an hero|hero]].</center>
|}<includeonly>[[Category:Suicide]]</includeonly><noinclude>
{{corner|br|[[File:Hanson_exploitable_fixed.png|50px]]}}

[[File:1_Billionaire-Businessman-and-Convicted-Paedophile-Jeffrey-Epstein.jpg|thumb|right|the billionaire businessman and convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein]]

'''Jeffrey Edward Epstein'''{{jew}} was [[Jewish]] billionaire and child molester, and was the Final Boss of {{strike|American}} International [[Paedophilia]], a title he earned by molesting [[at least 100]] children and getting away with it because of a combination of [[Jewgold]] and being friends with [[Bill Clinton]] and [[Donald Drumpf|the Trumps]].

Molesting more kids than [[Gary Glitter]], [[Jimmy Savile]] and [[Muhammad]] combined, this motherfucker had it down to a science. Not only would he fly kids around on his plane -- dubbed ''Lolita Express'' -- so that he could play doctor with them on his own private island, he actually [[genius|paid these girls to then go back home and convince their friends to let him fuck them, too]]!

One would think that over the course of the DECADES this was going on, someone would catch this fucker and hand him a [[over 9000|9000-year long]] sentence of sharing a cell with Bubba, but instead, when his crimes were FINALLY discovered, he only served one year in a federal country club, where he got to leave for 12 hours a day, six days a week for "work release" (the kind of sentence Jerry Sandusky only dreams he could have had). Too bad the "release" was only to do actual work, versus the kind of "release" he wishes he could do all over the face of some 9-year-old.

==The Guy Qanon Warned You About==
[[File:Wayfair epstein connection.jpg|thumb|400px|right|[[Wayfair]] connection]]
Jeffrey's Magical Kiddie Playhouse was home to such impeccable decor as a life-sized mannequin in a wedding dress hanging from a chandelier, an entire wall made out of glass eyeballs intended for wounded British soldiers, and an oddly prophetic mural of him in prison, surrounded by barbed wire and guard towers, but conspicuously absent of a marauding horde of angry, horny niggers eager to show a rich Jew what happens to pedophiles in prison.
As if intentionally designed to get the Qanon and Pizzagate faggots at 8chan to furiously masturbate over the implications of creepy-ass, edgelord designs that would have been considered too on-the-nose even for a fucking Saw movie, his 7-story townhouse in Jew York City would have made the perfect Halloween attraction had it not been declared a crime scene for hosting more CP than AllTheFallen.ninja and Sarah Butts' hard drives put together. Cleverly hidden on compact discs labeled 'nude girls', either the guy is an absolute fucking retard when it comes to hiding his CP stash, or he was just that confident that the Party Van would never come for him again, and if it would, he'd get off scot-free once more. Given who his friends are, it's probably the latter.

== Wikipedia Shilling ==
After Epstein's arrest, mentions of Bill Clinton being with Epstein and Kevin Spacey on Jeff's rape island were removed from Epstein's Wikipedia page, but mentions of Epstein meeting with Donald Trump in the 1990s were not... (((Clearly nothing sinister here, folks))).

Similarly, the Wikipedo Jews pounced on the Epstein article straight away, deleting all mention of his Jewishness. Their excuse?

{{quote|On reflection, the addition of his ethnicity is not necessary. Few, if any, Jewish-Americans are identified as such on Wikipedia.|Ambitus (Wikipedia Editor)}}

You read that correctly. Wikipedia, where just being an American Jew is enough to get a work detail of basement-dwelling yids hammering out a 10k-word hagiography, thinks it's irrelevant to mention that Epstein is a kike. Never mind that TOW actually has a category that is fucking entitled {{wikilink|Category:American_Jews|"American Jews"}}, where thousands of hook-nosed yids are listed in a variety of subcategories, including Epstein himself.

== The Lolita Express ==
This being the nickname for the private plane in which Epstein's guests were shuttled back and forth to his private pedo paradise, Little St James, one of the smaller of the Caribbean Virgin Islands -- conveniently located off the southeastern tip (just the tip) of St. Thomas. People like Matt Groening and Bobby Kotick are really hoping that you forget about it, but as the saying goes, the internet never forgets. And neither should you.

== DUN DUN DUN ==
[[File:epstein-morrowind2.png|thumb|right|You feel like someone is watching you.]]
In July of 2019, Epstein was finally V& in Jew York after some (((journalist))) in Miami did an exposé on just how many people bent over backward to spare him from Bubba's BBC the last time he was v& for diddling little girls. Said (((journalist))) uncovered everything from a campaign of witness intimidation, sweetheart deals, a deliberate coverup of the involvement of everyone from Bill Clinton to Prince Andrew at Pedobear Island, to a claim that Epstein "belongs to the intelligence." Such arguments did not move New York prosecutors and judges. After his Fortress of Molestation was searched, an entire safe was found full of cash, diamonds, and a fake passport claiming that Epstein, a filthy kike, was a sand nigger from Saudi Arabia. Claiming that it was only because he knew what actual sand niggers think of rich Jews who molest kids, it's probably because he knows that child molestation is a time-honored tradition of Middle-Easterners and saw sand niglets as another source of underage poon once the American well runs dry.
Whatever the case, the means and motivation to flee proved too much, and he was ordered held without bail. {{strike|The only question now is whether or not Bubba will get to fuck him before he's inevitably found swinging in his cell or Tyrone shivs him to death in the cafeteria}} yeah that's not a question anymore now, is it...

== NYC Jail Injury and "Suicide" ==
[[File:epstein_headpat.gif|thumb|right]]
The asshole was found injured in his jail cell on the 24th of July, 2019 nearly unconscious, tied and gagged, in a fetal position, attempting to imitate the age group he has an obsession with. He has been placed on a suicide watch. At the time of writing this, it is unclear if it was suicide, a hit job, or someone beating the shit out of him because he's an alleged pedo. Apparently, he was put on suicide watch where he would be monitored 24/7 without any tools to commit suicide, but the camera just so happened to malfunction right when he died.

== Goodbye, cruel world ==
[[File:Epstein Final Mugshot.png|thumb|200px|right|his last mugshot]]
He ded, ladies and gentlemen. Handy Andy probably had something to do with his death if the tabloids are to be believed.
On the 10th of August, 2019 our unfortunate protagonist was found dead of apparent suicide in his jail cell. It's currently too early to state definitively whether or not his rich mates ordered the assassination or he was just a massive faggot and pussied out pre-trial, given he'd been up for some pretty heinous stuff in the past and walked away pretty much scot-free.
Rest in peace, Jeffrey. All the people listed in your black book will never miss you.

== Gallery of [[Rich|Gucci]] Billionaire Drip==

{{Collapsegallery|◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎♚♚♚Epstein Didn't Kill Himself♚♚♚◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎|cg1|center|<gallery>
File:Epstein 7.jpg|[[Bill Clinton]] with his buddy Jeffery
File:schiff_epstein1.png|Adam Shiff with Epstein
File:Epstein.jpg|He got them medals n' shit for being a super cool guy I guess.
File:Trump-and-Epstein.gif| the [[Liberal]] wet-dream holy hand grenade of media smear ammunition.
File:Trump-and-epstein-1.jpg| [[Trump]] and Epstein again
File:epstein-memes-6.png| Killed
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:The-Epstein-Bears.jpg|The Epstein Bears
File:Epstein wildin.jpg|chat bait
File:Epsteindidntkillhimself.jpg|Drake Agrees!
File:No_epstein.jpg |[[Reddit|Ghislaine Maxwell]] who procured minor girls with Epstein in a photo with Trump
File:epstein bass pro.jpg‎|The Bass Pro [[brb basement|building]] on Little Saint James Island in the U.S. [[Irony|Virgin]] Islands, where Microsoft Flight Simulator fans like to meet up and park their [[loli|planes]]
File:Rip epstein shirt.jpg| A [[Sam Hyde]] creation that became high fashion worth [[over 9000|over $9999]].
File:MDE Sam Hyde RIP Epstein For Sale.jpg| Seriously, it would have been a good investment
File:MEMES Guess Who won't die of COVID Epstein.png
</gallery>|border=#36c|color=#FFD700}}

== See also ==
* [[Alex Jones]]- he was right and this proves his reptilian conspiracies
* [[California]]- The land of the sodomite damned for prolific child-sex freaks.
* [[Woody Allen]]{{jew}} - fucked his underage daughter then married her and was an actor in Hollywood
* [[Roman Polanski]]{{jew}} - also part of the [[satan]]ic pedophile [[goth|cult]] [[Illuminati]] conspiracy, also a famous film director
* [[Harvey Weinstein]]{{jew}} - diddled most of Hollywood and was a film producer
* [[Jeff Goldblum]]{{jew}} - another Hollywood Jew who raped and knows the name of the [[dinosaur]] that has 500 teeth

==Hello World==
<center>
[[File:Epstien Drip Dramatica.online Invite.jpg|740px|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
</center>

{{pedoseries}}
{{jews}}
{{truth}}
{{sex}}
[[Category:Money]]
[[Category:2019]] [[Category:People]]

{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured Article]] for December 7 & 8, [[2023]]|[[Grand Theft Auto: Vice City]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

ಠ ಠ

2024-08-13T17:09:44Z

Stooge: I deem this article perfect.

{{DISPLAYTITLE:ಠ_ಠ}}
{{perfect}}
[[Image:Face_IRL.JPG|thumb|right|IRL version]]
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ
<big>ಠ_ಠ</big>
<big><big>ಠ_ಠ</big></big>
<big><big><big>ಠ_ಠ</big></big></big>
<big><big><big><big>ಠ_ಠ</big></big></big></big>
<big><big><big><big><big>ಠ_ಠ</big></big></big></big></big>
<big><big><big><big><big><big>ಠ_ಠ</big></big></big></big></big></big>
<big><big><big><big><big><big><big>ಠ_ಠ</big></big></big></big></big></big></big>

<big><big><big>ಠ_ಠ</big></big></big> is an expression of [[DO NOT WANT|disapproval]] or [[WTF|disbelief]].

==How-to==
OS X option code: Option+0CA0

Win XP ALT Code: ALT+3232

Linux: while pressing Ctrl+Shift type u0CA0

==Variations==
ಠ~ಠ

ಠoಠ

ಠxಠ

ಠ.ಠ

ಥ_ಥ

==Videos==
<center>{{fv|ಠ_ಠ|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>gBZdok6P21M</youtube>
|<youtube>lyuwq7AwqPQ</youtube>
|<youtube>TOl-spu6Iek</youtube>
|<youtube>_wXG16Mjym0</youtube>
}}</center>

==See Also==
*[[TheDOSFag]]
*[[Emoticon|๏̯͡๏]]
*[[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]]
*[[¯\(°_o)/¯]]
*[[British|┌─┐]]
*[[British|┴─┴]]
*[[British|ಠ_ರೃ]]

==External Links==
*http://www.disapprovallook.com/
*http://icu.tinsanity.net/

{{timeline|Featured article October 31, [[2007]]|[[Douglas L Payne Jr]]|[[ಠ_ಠ]]|[[Theoretical physics]]}}

[[Category:Emoticons]]

Redundant

2024-08-12T06:26:57Z

Stooge: I deem this article perfect.

{{perfect}}
See: [[Redundent|Redundant]].
 
 
 

 
 
 

 
 
 
 

[[Category:In Jokes]]

Derp

2024-08-12T06:14:51Z

Stooge: I deem this article perfect.

{{perfect}}
<center><youtube>Dm0v90lwt_c</youtube>
 
'''Derpy derp. De derp de duttidy da, derpy derpy doo.'''
 
'''derp.'''
 
'''derp.'''
 
'''derp.'''
 
'''derpity derp.'''
 
'''derp derp.'''
 
'''herp.'''
 
'''herpity derpity do.'''
 
</center>

==DERP DE DIDDLY DOO==
{{cg||derp|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Celestial_eye_goldfish_Derp.jpg|[[Fish|DERP]]
Image:Derptits.jpg|[[Your mom|DERP]]
Image:DERP.jpg|[[Garfield|DERP]]
Image:Higurashiderp.PNG|[[Animu|DERP]]
Image:Derp_Dog_Unrelated.jpg|[[Buy A Dog|DERP]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:FurrMetalAlchemist-derp.jpg|[[FMA|DERP]]
Image:Derp derp derp.png|[[Rootbrian|DERP]]
Image:HERP_DERP.png|[[Rebecca Black|DERP]]
Image:Derp-300.jpg|[[300|DERP]]
Image:Derp-advice-dog.jpg|[[Advice Dog|DERP]]
Image:Derp-bill.jpg|[[Gee Bill|DERP]]
Image:Derp-bush.jpg|[[W|DERP]]
Image:Derp-cat.jpg|[[Cat|DERP]]
Image:Derp-CSI.jpg|[[CSI|DERP]]
Image:Celestial_DERPtatorship.png‎|[[Christopher Hitchens|Heaven is a Celestial DERPtatorship!]]
Image:Derp-depp.png|[[Johnny Depp|DERP]]
Image:Derp-megaman.jpg|[[Megaman|DERP]]
Image:Derp-news.jpg|[[Fox News|DERP]]
Image:Derp-shark.jpg|[[Shark|DERP]]
Image:Derp-twilight.jpg|[[Twilight|DERP]]
Image:Derp Note.jpg|[[Death Note|DERP]]
Image:PeopleMagazineBieber.jpg|[[Justin Bieber|Not shooped.]]
Image:Derpfeldt.jpg|[[Idiot|DERP]]
file:Derp CuteBaby.jpg|DERP
file:Derp Celestial eye goldfish Derp.jpg|DERP
file:Derp FurrMetalAlchemist-derp.jpg|DERP
file:Derp Miley.jpg|DERP
file:Derp Higurashiderp.PNG|DERP
Image:Mileyderp.jpg|[[Miley Cyrus|DERP]]
Image:Albrecht_II._von_Habsburg.jpg|[[Europe|DERP]]
Image:Downsyndromewhitetiger.jpg|[[Tiger|DERP]]
Image:Derp fishwoman.PNG|[[DERP]]
Image:derpidiot.jpg | derp herp
File:Derrp.gif
</gallery>
|}}
 

{{cg|Derpina|cg1|center|
<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Memes_-_Derpina_-_Art.jpg
Image:Loli_Derpina.png
Image:Derpina_Porn.PNG
Image:Rage_comic_porn.jpg
Image:Shittylock.jpg
</gallery>
|
<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Derpina_-_Art_-_01.jpg
Image:Derpina_-_Art_-_02.jpg
Image:Derpina_-_Art_-_03.jpg
Image:Derpina_-_Art_-_04.jpg
Image:Derpina_-_Art_-_05.jpg
Image:Derpina_-_Comics_-_Head_Hurt.jpg
Image:Derpina_-_Comics_-_Marriage.jpg
Image:Derpina_-_Look-A-Like.jpg
</gallery>
}}

==External links==
{{kym|memes/derp|Derp}} 
{{ud|define.php?term=derp|Derp}}
*[http://fb.me/9001DERPS/ DERP's FaceBook page]

{{memes}}
{{language}}
[[Category:Image Macros]]
[[Category:Galleries]]

Mr Beast

2024-08-12T06:13:16Z

Stooge: Updated the article with an alert.

{{achtung|TO ONLY THE SURPRISE OF RETARDS, HE FAKES EVERYTHING!}}
{{Template:forcedmeme}}
{{ib|[[File:MrBeast soyjack.jpg|225px]]}}
{{ibhead|<big>'''MrBeast'''</big>}}
{{ibrow|'''Powerword'''|Jimmy Donaldson}}
{{ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png|link=]]}}
{{ibrow|'''Born'''|May 7th, [[1990s|1998]]}}
{{ibrow|'''Death'''|Soon, ''very'' soon.}}
{{ibrow|'''Residence'''|Greenvile, [[North Carolina]]}}
{{ibrow|'''[[JewTube]]'''|{{yt|c|UCX6OQ3DkcsbYNE6H8uQQuVA|MrBeast}} (active)}}
{{ibrow|'''Twitter'''|{{twitter|MrBeastYT}} (active)}}
{{ibend}}

'''Mr Beast''' (formerly known as '''MrBeast6000''') is a {{age|1998|5|7}} year old [[Jewtube|JewTuber]] who has more money than about [[you]] will ever make. He likes to do anything you possibly do with money, mostly starting shitty tournaments to win tons of money so random fuckers can have millions of dollars. Sometimes he creates one for Jewtubers from 12 years ago to get money that [[ads|Jewtube would never give them]]. He also likes to show how much money he has and show buy fucking everything in store so [[losers|most people]] can't by [[who cares|shit]]. He also gives out money to [[whores|egirls]] on Twitch.

He started out as a [[LionMaker Studios|Minecraft Jewtuber]] like [[PewDiePie|everyone else on the fucking website]]. He then started making [[Leafy|commentaries]] with ''[[Call of Duty]]'' gameplay about other Jewtubers that play the same game and are just as shit as him. Then he decided to get lazy and sit in his room all day long, making fun of [[jailbait|little kids]] on the [[internet]].

[[File:MrBeastAsianSticker.png|thumb|right|What Mr Beast [[derp|masturbates to, and takes advice from.]]]]

Mr Beast's real name is [[powerword|Jimmy Donaldson]], and resides in the [[confederate|redneck state]] of [[North Carolina]]. He prefers to sit in his room all day, cover up the windows with paper, and stare into a camera lens, talking about some [[shit no one cares about|inane subject that nobody cares about]].

{{quote|Then winner gets $1000000.|Jimmy.}}

==Mr Beast 1.0==

Mr Beast joined Youtube as just another Minecraft Youtuber at [[13]] with his Bandicam. Just like what you think, he got nowhere with these Minecraft videos as 13 year old boys would rather watch [[loser|30 year old virgin]] [[get a life|screaming in the camera]], with better quality.

<center><youtube>2XVcLrB7B3Y</youtube></center>

==Mr Beast 2.0==

After realizing Minecraft video won't get him anywhere as everyone on the site had the exact same idea. He decided to dump Minecraft and become a [[CoD]] JewTuber, [[unrealistic expectations|hoping to get picked up by FaZe]], but he couldn't as he was too shit. He continued to make [[CoD]] videos throughout the next few years.

Since he could get any views himself he decided to make videos. on the [[shit nobody cares about|networth]] of JewTubers, which you can [[cheat|look up from some analytics site]]. Nobody watched his video as people would rather look up analytics on the internet, than watch some random nobody saying useless shit, until he's shows off analytics at the very end.

But one day he came up with a [[fail|genius idea]], what If I make videos [[attention whoring|hating on other JewTubers]] to bring in angry [[13 year old boys]] [[I have a 140 IQ|not knowing there helping my channel grow]], as my videos are too shit to bring any viewers anyways. He then became another generic [[YouTube Commentaries|commentary channel]], only this time nobody gave a shit about him as he didn't say "literary" over and over again.

==Mr Beast 3.0==

<center>
{{frame|{{morphquote|jdquotes|background:#F2F2F2; width:500px; height:200px|font-weight:bold
|Subscribe to my channel and [[gay|I'll marry you]]!|Jimmy Donaldson, being a faggot.
|You do realize it is illegal to [[dox]] people and give out their name and high {{sic|shcool|School}}, right?|Jimmy Donaldson, ignorant of the definition of [[dox]].
|I love your nipples on your dog in africa because pineapplez are cool|Jimmy Donaldson, replaying to comments like a [[retard]].
|The song name is [[kill yourself|darude sandstorm]]|Jimmy Donaldson, Attempting to be [[funny]].
|Doesn't matter becuase you will never get a million views.|Jimmy Donaldson, crusing a tweenager's dreams.
}}|border=#F2F2F2|background=#F2F2F2}}
</center>

===The Man, the Myth, the Beast===
Nothing he does is original. Every joke, meme, video idea, etc. he uses has been done before by other faggoty, unfunny Youtubers before him.
===Content===
[[File:MrBeastYoutubeEmblem.png|thumb|MrBeast's Youtube channel emblem. He's a furry, too?]]
[[File:MrBeastKeyboard.png|thumb|The keyboard, that, apparently, changed his life. '''Spoiler:''' it's an overpriced piece of shit.]]
[[File:TypicalMrBeastFan.png|thumb|The average Mr Beast fan.]]
[[File:MrBeastGirlfriend.png|thumb|The beast's [[trap|girlfriend]].]]

Mr Beast's content is, simply put, desperation for Youtube views. He tries to be [[original]] with his content, but, in reality, is just another clickbaiting faggot. If it weren't for the thousands of little kids who subscribe to him on a regular basis, his [[shit|content]] wouldn't be popular at all. No [[genius|logical person]] would ever fall for his terrible misleading video titles.

=====Shit He Does In His Videos=====
*[[boring|Watching paint dry]]
*Making [[bleach]] jokes
*Playing with fidget spinners
*Playing Minecraft
*Playing Roblox
*Making fun of little kids who play Minecraft and Roblox
*Spending his Youtube revenue on stupid shit, like that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO8B2kw_Jxs $1000 keyboard]
*Doing bleach bottle flips
*Making fun of little kids who make shitty videos
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tM7dlqKL9XU Wasting his life]
*Drinking bleach with his roommate
*Looking at, and buying stupid shit on [[Amazon]]
*Counting to [[over 9000|100,000]]
*Reading the entire [[Bible]]
*Talking to stickers on his bedroom walls
*Encouraging his young audience to scream "Mr Beast" out in public, with lots of people around
*Microwaving shit
*Smashing laptops
*... anything else that will generate him Youtube revenue, no matter how stupid, or [[insane]].

=====Series=====
======Worst ''X'' Ever======
These are videos of him, sitting at his computer, commenting on peoples' (often little kids) shitty Youtube-related content. This includes Youtube banners, intros, Youtube channels themselves, entire videos, video thumbnails, and sometimes [[nobody cares|Amazon product reviews.]] As if anyone really cares about those things. These videos are often filled with unfunny Minecraft and bleach jokes, and time fillers to lengthen the video to ten minutes (Youtube pays you more if your video is ten minutes or longer).

The most popular subseries of this series, is the "worst intros on Youtube", where he comments on, and makes jokes about little kids' Youtube intros. Due to their psychographic nature, most of these "intros" are filled with Minecraft cancer. Worse yet, a growing number of these "intros" are little kids scribbling their Youtube name on a piece of paper, and then dancing in front of a camera with it, like a [[retard]]. And, combine those videos with Mr Beast's content, and you've got yourself an unfunny, swirling, shit vortex of [[anti-lulz]].

<center>The [[autism|cringe]] 
<youtube>6oSSjFbK8ow</youtube>
</center>

======Microwaving Or Blowing Up ''X''======
Mr Beast buys several microwave ovens with his Youtube revenue, so he can put random shit inside, microwave it at full power, and film the results. These videos are the epitome of clickbait. Pretty soon, [[lol|he's gonna burn his house down with this shit.]]

As usual, nothing actually ''blows up'', but, rather, the microwave breaks, and the video ends. Not very [[gay|climactic]]. [[boring|Booooooring.]]

<center>Mr Beast, [[ISIS|blowing shit up]] with microwaves 
<youtube>i8pmk5xnO2s</youtube>
</center>

======''X'' For 24 Hours======
This is another popular video series. Only this time, the videos are 10, or more, hours long. The shit he's done for 24 hours, proving he has no life, and lives solely off of Youtube revenue, includes: playing with a fidget spinner, reading the Bible, counting to X, among other boring shit nobody would care to watch at all, let alone for ''that long''.

======[[IRL]] Pranks======
Basically, shit that's already been done by other, more popular, Youtubers, namely, [[FouseyTUBE]]. Therefore, not original. Apparently, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6tDuwd5gzE persuading his "girlfriend" to participate in a "prank" where she drops a box of pennies out in public, is the best thing he can come up with.] Not only is he terrible at making videos, but also at pulling pranks.

======Showing Off======
Basically, he just [[USI|shows off]] the stuff he bought off of [[eBay]] or [[Amazon]]. Not that he ''needed'' to buy any of these things, of course. It's likely that he a) wanted some new content for his already boring videos, or b) wanted to demonstrate his Youtube revenue, like some kind of [[Paris Hilton|stuck up rich kid.]] And the stuff isn't even useful; it's a bunch of overpriced junk from [[China]]. Once again, booooooooring.

======Replying to Comments Like a Retard======
So, basically, he's grown tired of making fun of little kids ''directly'' in his videos, so out comes a new series of videos from his channel: ''Replying to Comments Like a Retard''. Basically, he trolls the shit out of little kids who [[the internet is serious business|take the internet so fucking seriously]] to elicit a reaction from them. Due to the raging nature of [[children]], baiting them and getting them mad is a [[wut|cake walk]]. Often times, they do get mad, which is fucking hilarious, but not because Donaldson is a good [[troll]], but because kids will get mad at almost anything on the internet that they don't like, and [[RAGE|smash their keyboards]] over it.

===MrBeast: Exposed===
Apparently, MrBeast is a [[fraud]]. [[duh|Who knew?]] The "giveaways" he advertises in his videos are faker than a pair of [[Kim Kardashian|Hollywood tits]]. In fact, he just buys a bunch of random junk from China on Amazon, makes a video about it, claiming that it's $up3r c001 shit, that does X, and "promises" to give it away to a fan. For example, the [[plastic crap|iTunes gift card]] codes he's "given away" for free. The fact of the matter is: all of the cards are already used, and therefore useless. And the fresh cards he does scratch on video, are only meant to tease his audience into believing that [[lie|he actually cares about them]]. It looks like Jimmy, here, is after money from his young fans' parents.

===Mr Beast is Dying===
The king of all Mr Beast's clickbait videos. Well, there's only one correction to make: it's only clickbait to his [[retarded]] fans, as [[fail|they're the ones who are the most likely to click on it]], as anyone with a brain inside their fucking skulls, would never watch any single one of his videos. In the video, he simply schedules tweets to occur several years in the future, nothing more. Most of the tweets were just unfunny nonsense, such as "[[moron|Idubbz]], you are ugly." and "Has Trump killed us all yet?" among other things.

<center>
<youtube>zQE9UcNdw0A</youtube> Unfortunately, he's not dying. At least anytime soon.
</center>

===How to Be MrBeast===
As MrBeast is living proof that [[you]] can make a "successful" channel, by using overused jokes, memes, and ideas, even a complete nobody like you, can gain 1 million subscribers by following these six [[simple]] steps:

#Make your own video of you making fun of little kids' Youtube videos
#Use clickbait to get your pre-pubescent fans to watch your shitty videos
#Make lots of [[unfunny|bleach/suicide jokes]] in your video (little kids love these, and will spam them all over the comment section, attempting to be funny)
#Post a gay comment on your video like "Like this video and win a free [[blow job]]." Then pin it and watch the reaction.
#[[????]]
#[[profit|PROFIT!!!!!1]]

Simple, huh?

==Mr Beast 4.0==

<center><youtube>IYVjOfoU3uI</youtube></center>

<center>Mr Beast is now some rich dude giving out money to people.</center>

===Sissy Wars: Editor Strikes Back===

One of Mr Beast editors felt like he wasn't getting enough attention, so he saw what another editor did and made a video whining about how he couldn't get his way on videos that aren't his, it's better if you don't watch it if your sensitive to aspergism.

<center><youtube>uMQlK-fyurE</youtube></center>

==See Also==
*[[Clickbait]]
*[[Unfunny]]
*[[YouTube]]
*[[LeafyIsHere]]
*[[Keemstar]]
*[[1000 Degree Knife]]
*[[Jacob Sartorius]]
*[[fouseyTUBE]]
*[[Minecraft]]
*[[PewDiePie]]
*[[Squid Game]]

==External Links==
*[https://www.youtube.com/user/MrBeast6000/videos Youtube channel, filled with cancer]
*[http://youtube.wikia.com/wiki/MrBeast Youtube wikia page on him, for those who actually care]
*[https://twitter.com/mrbeastyt?lang=en MrBeast's Twitter account]
*[https://twitter.com/mrbeastsasian The faggot also made a Twitter account for a sticker on the wall of his bedroom]
*[https://twitter.com/jimmyisthebomb1 Jimmy Donaldson's personal Twitter account]

{{Ytseries}}
{{trolls}}

{{timeline|Featured article June 9 & 10, [[2017]]|[[Kurt Eichenbald]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Resistance]]}}
[[Category:People]]

DeviantART

2024-08-12T04:39:22Z

Stooge: Cleaned up the article.

{{spoiler|WE HAVE A DA GROUP! {{dauser|in-ae-we-trust|SUBMIT YOUR SHITTY ED-RELATED ART OVER HERE!}}}}
[[File:dalogo2.png|600px|center|Deviantart's new logo, proudly plagiarized from platzkart.ru; avoid at all costs if your sanity is important to you!]]
<center>'''''Every horror of the Internet, disguised as art'''''</center>
 
 
[[Image:Da_frontpage.jpg|thumb|275px|DeviantART front page: At any given moment you will come across an [[asian]], a [[camwhore]], some [[furry art]], or something "[[Shit|abstract]]".]]
[[File:PosterdA.jpg|thumb|left|275px|If you want to learn anything about art, stay the hell away from this place]]

At first glance, '''DeviantArt''' (also known as '''DeviantShart''', and '''Tartletistan''') appears to be an inspiring treasure-trove of [[Unrealistic expectations|wishful-thinking]] [[fanart]] and pseudo-professional "[[Shitty art|artwork]]".
In reality, [[Truth|it is one of the most fucked-up internet communities]] the Web 2.0 has to offer. The words "societal degeneration" are an understatement to what lurks on this website.

deviantART, which doesn't even try to hide its [[homosexuality|homosexuality]] and [[furry art]], is but yet another kingdom to all [[WWOEC|childhood memories raped]] and basically is just filled with [[Furry|Furries]], [[Teruchan|Pedophiles]], [[Bleedman|Perverts]], [[Azns|Azns]], [[Wapanese|Wapanese]] and [[Chris-chan|everything worse imaginable]]. What you'll most likely find is [[Attention whore|attention seeking]] porn for [[Youtube|page views sake]] and [[My Immortal|bad, shortly written, unimaginative, out of character]] [[fanfiction|fanfiction.]] There is no shortage of [[Rule_34|Rule 34]] on that site.

Users constantly check and update their profile page's [[E-penis|E-penis]] here and violently [[Moar|force]] it to grow larger, so all the other sick fucks in the world can share the common love of uncontrolled circlejerking and having a pseudo-safe haven for their weird fetishes.

While similar establishments like [[MTV]] destroyed good music by motivating [[You|the public]] to become [[wiggers]] and [[prostatot]]s, deviantART destroys the "good" art world by fulfilling its function of turning out furry [[drama whore]]s and [[emo]] [[attention whore]]s. Constant exposure to this site, no matter who you are, will make you end up in an asylum. But ''of course'' you're a sick bastard, and you will go back there and create 200 sock accounts, and log in thru multiple browser windows in order to fap to the (tamer than [[FurAffinity]]) draenei pinups and harpy pinups and Derpy shemale splooge cartoons. The internet knows what you want, you sick over-30 scab eater. dA has you covered for everything (other than dicks, sorry homos) and can feed almost any sick fetish. It's funny that a cartooning site with tens of thousands of cartoonists, from 11-year-old shitheads to hardened professionals, can only boast [[Curt Sibling]] as its "funniest artist". That is the ultimate fucked-uppiness of dA. The artitsts on it are SRS BSNS and very few of them are even trying to be funny. It feeds their broken little egos and that is the most important function of dA.

<center>If the art community as a whole had cancer, then deviantART would be the biggest malignant tumor of them all.</center>
<center>'''[[PROTIP]]:''' Adding [[Lens flare]]s to your art will give you [[A+]] results.</center>

==Overview==

===Rules of deviantART===
[[Image:walterratleymlpfuta.png|thumb|What happens if you let a horny [[retard]] go on deviantART]]
#deviantART is [[serious business]]
#One day, I’ll be a [[Unrealistic_expectations|great manga artist]]
#The longer the journal entries, the better my art becomes
#The more flashing friend icons, the better my art becomes
#[[Tracing]] and [[recoloring]] is the same as using a reference
#[[Internet_disease|Blurry]] [[Facebook]] pictures of myself, taken without even using the timer mode are art
#[[Photoshop]] filters are the same as photography skill
#[[Lens flare]] makes EVERYTHING better!
#Critics are only critical because they are [[Butthurt|jealous of my stick figures]]
#All male game or [[anime]] characters are [[GoddessMillenia|in love]] with each other
#All characters split into two versions when entering DeviantArt: normal and [[furry]], and the furry version is always better than the regular one – cat ears are obligatory
#All characters have child-like alter-egos, which [[Sick_fuck|I]] prefer, but not because I’m a [[CP|paedophile]]
#People don’t know there’s a Full View function, so I must inform them of it, and demand that they use it every time I upload [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|something]], no matter how crappy, by commenting “FULL VIEW PLEASE!!!!!!”
#The whole world is only waiting for one thing: seeing [[Ugly|me]] [[Camwhore|naked]]
#It’s art if I say it is!
#2,000 pageviews means I have to make a [[Kawaii|kawaiiiii]] picture thanking people for looking at my other kawaiiii pictures, preferably with as many [[Gay|hearts]] as possible
#Being on DeviantArt means I am [[Attention_whore|special]]
#It’s not paedophilia [[Bleedman|when I draw it]]
#Comments any less positive than “OMG awesome!” must be considered [[Flame|flames]], and even the slightest bit of criticism is worth starting a [[Drama|fight]] and getting [[Banhammer|banned]] over
#The DeviantArt comments system is a great chatbox, especially if it’s someone else’s page!
#There is nothing wrong with [[inflation art]]
#If I fave one of your pictures, you have to [[Circle_jerk|fave]] one of mine, no matter how terrible I am, otherwise you’re ungrateful
#[[Nobody|Everyone]] is interested in my private life, so I must spam my journal full of uninteresting junk (see #1)
#If people [[troll]] my account due to a mention in ED, I must throw a tantrum, [[DivineAngel|threaten to hex them]], say they’ve [[DivineAngel|fallen into my trap]], bawl to the moderators and/or threaten legal action and claim [[DivineAngel|lawyers are already on the case]]
#[[Chasethehedgehog|I have more pageviews, therefore my art is better than yours]]
#Making [[Sockpuppet|alternate accounts]] praising my main account is a brilliant tactic
#[[Copypasta|Copy-pasting]] an “I like your art” comment on loads of Random Deviant pages without looking at the art is a brilliant tactic
#Making a thread in the [[Orgy|ThumbShare forum]], dedicated [[Unwarranted self importance|only to me]] with the sole intention of [[Bukkake|throwing my own art into everyone's faces]] is a brilliant tactic
#No matter how crappy my art is, and regardless of the fact that no one would hang it on their wall to save their lives, I must still make all my art available as Prints
#The human body is beautiful and never [[Sick_fuck|pornographic]], even if it’s being penetrated anally by a furry’s cock
#My profile icon flashes or moves, that means I’m a better artist than you
#Submitting Deviations without commenting anything more than, “me again”, “lol”, “...” or “meh” is [[Faggotry|artistic]]
#Poetry isn’t artistic if it doesn’t have elementary school rhymes and isn’t about [[Emo|razors or angst]] or [[Tara_Gilesbie|slitting wrists]]
#[[Rule_34|We’ve made porn of it. No exceptions.]]
#There will be [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|fav w/o comment drama]]. No exceptions.
#Art memes are [[Unfunny|fun]], and when they say I must tag three people, I must always tag EVERYBODY!!!11!
#The [[Attention_whore|cool kids]] set themselves to invisible
#I must threaten everyone who might possibly steal my [[crap|art]] with [[Internet_tough_guy|physical violence]], even though I’m behind a computer
#[[Snapesnogger|Snape]] is perfectly capable of [[Ryoukitten|getting pregnant]]
#I AM [[Azn|Asian]]. Really. Can’t you see the [[Otaku|painted cat eyes]] and the [[Wapanese|V-sign]] I make with my [[Cock|fingers]]?
#My desktop picture must contain a [[World of Warcraft]]-icon, and the wallpaper may under no circumstance have the correct aspect ratio
#I paid Jew Gold for my account, so everything I made has just become [[E-penis|better]] than everything you’ll ever make
#Even though I spend every minute I have on DeviantArt, I must still complain how much it sucks as often as possible.
#I must always be proud of making the first comment, even when I have nothing more to write than, “First comment!”
#I can always [[Delete_fucking_everything|delete my account]] and make a new one
#It was an [[Guruubii|accident retard]]

===Submission Categories===
[[Image:Deviantart.PNG|thumb|1000px|center|<center>'''Prepare to see this on every deviation on the site.'''</center>]]
 
[[Image:FineArtSearchDA2.JPG|thumb|This is what comes up in a search for "fine art" on deviantART.]]
[[Image:HowDAworks.jpg|thumb|Is this your [[popular]]ity guide?]]
*'''Artisan Crafts''' - Before the invention of the [[Internets]], people were rumored to make art such as [[Unicorn Orgy]], [[IRL]]. They used boulders, ripped-up [[fursuit]]s, and [[semen]]. At present, all the craftsmen who aren't dead are pot-smoking [[hippies]] who can't use [[computers]] and forty-year-old women who create over-priced and poorly-made knitted stuffed animals that drain your PayPal if you're stupid enough to buy one, rendering this section unnecessary and a hindrance to the entire site.
*'''Traditional Art''' - By far the largest section of DA, probably because pencils are cheap, this is where users place their [[shitty|painstakingly-rendered]] [[anime]]/[[furry]]/[[inflation art]] [[tracing]]s with blotchy graphite shading. Others attempt to exploit the versatility of [[MS Paint]] to project a [http://jerryvaradian.deviantart.com/art/Peace-in-Lebanon-38050156 political message] of some sort. (If you click on the link, try not to shit yourself laughing, as that would be rude). It's also the category for drawings made by people who are too fuck-tarded to use computers and art programs. Also, it is a well known fact that people who are too cheap to buy a tablet are probably also too cheap to buy a scanner. For this reason, most traditional "art" is uploaded in the form of a blurry, unfocused picture.
* '''Digital Art''' - If you are unable to operate a pencil for [[Asperger's Syndrome|any reason]], this section is for you! Just fire up [[Photoshop]], collage some random shit you found on [[Google]] Images and voilà! You're only HALF as lame as the [[Church of the Subgenius]]! http://irawalrus.deviantart.com/art/Brother-guess-what-you-get-182793134?q=&qo= - Remember, catering to [[fetish]]ists insures a steady stream of pageviews, and the [[popular|big kids]] favor quantity over quality. Playboy models need not be college or even college junior graduates, hence why waste pearls on [[furry|anthromorphic]], [[tiny dick|shrinking]], [[inflation|inflating]] swine?
* '''Photography''' - [[Image:DevianTARD-DoinItWrong.jpg|thumb|The skill of an average deviantART photographer...]] Thanks to the advent of ubiquitous digital image capturing, every [[16 year old girl]] and their little brother thinks they're Ansel-Fucking-Adams. These people usually can't draw. To facilitate this movement, DA created the photography section. It was promptly populated by [[camwhore]]s afflicted by [[Internet disease]]s. Remember, [[Lens flare]] gives you 10 times more popularity! Any and all other photographs are of uninspired things (try photographing a tree, it's sooooo deep, man) and naturally receive [[about 100]] favorites within a few seconds of their posting. HDR photos are automatically awarded a Daily Deviation and receive [[over 9000]] faves no matter how shitty they are (BECAUSE IT IS SO SURREAL LOL). Then there are camwhores who think they're SUPER DUPER SPECIAL because they take pictures of their horsies and think people are jealous of their awesome pets when [[lies|they can be doing things more productive with their boring lives]].
* '''Poetry''' - Writings featured on DA are usually [[emo]] rants about [[Cutting|blood, razorblades, and the relationship between the two]]. Written largely by [[16 year old girls]], they are often rendered [http://emo-tears-falling.deviantart.com/ phonetically impossible] by assloads of spelling errors. Once a user submits something, it automatically turns into an [[Crap|"artistic expression."]] As a result, many deviantART "poets" just submit their [[LJ]] entries, which additionally guards themselves against being branded as [[drama whore]]s because, you know, "[[Waaaambulance|I'M JUST EXPRESSING MYSELF]], MAN. WHAT, DID YOU THINK [[hippie|JIM MORRISON]] WAS A DRAMA WHORE, TOO, YOU CALLOUS CRETIN?"
* '''Prose''' - NOBODY on deviantART knows what prose means. While '''poetry''' focuses on the surrealist interpretations of [[cutting]], '''prose''' mentions every detail of your 30 minute cut-a-thon, and later goes into how nobody from school understands your scars, and how your gf/bf/ff left you because you're a pathetic, whiny [[attention whore]]. Any and all good criticism given of prose on deviantART ''will'' ([[No exceptions|without exception]]) be written off by the whiny TARTlet as you being a [[troll]], since 99% of all prose on DA is apparently written by [[You|the same syphilitic leper]]. The truly great prose of deviantART art is overlooked [[TL;DR|because it is too long and/or too complex for the average 16-year-old]].
* '''Desktop Capture''' - ALL dA users are just not up to speed. Unable to produce even the most crude stick-figure scrawlings of "tasteful" [[furry]] or ''Invader Zim'' [[fanart]]? No need not feel left out! Simply mash your overly large, greasy thumb onto the [[Screencap|printscreen]] key will capture your amazing desktop! Now you can receive praise and glory based on your interesting desktop background and [[360 kid|show everyone online]] that you are a cool cat with all the latest icons. [[Firefox]] is mandatory; don't even bother otherwise. Also, lacking a ''[[World of Warcraft]]'' icon loses you serious points. In order to boost your [[hxc]] points, having your icons in no particular order helps you score, too. Remember, organization is for [[n00bs]]! This category is also where [[troll]]s post screencaps of comments in which they, "[[lulz]] totally [[pwn]]ed this [[lolcow]]".
* '''Flash''' - Why DA decided to host [[Flash]]-based animations is anyone's guess. The only users who submit Flash works on DA are [[You|failures]] (and [[diva]]s) who couldn't get on [http://albinoblacksheep.com AlbinoBlackSheep] or even [http://newgrounds.com Newgrounds]. The majority of these creations usually involve [[ninja]]s or absolute [[shit]] such as [[cosplay|dress up games]]. There are also "Create your Own [[Oxymoron|Sonic OC]]" and "Create a [[Sparkledog|Wolf]]" games.
* '''Three Dimensional Art''' - At the mention of the words "3D art", you're probably thinking "u meen liek XBAWKS graffiks" or Toy Story quality work. You will not find any of that on DeviantArt. Instead you will find Poser-generated bullshit and [[Second Life]] screenshots, which equates to playing with Barbie dolls except with less facial expressions.
* '''Fractal Art''' - To put it simply: Push button, receive blobs of colors. Although the actual concept of fractal geometry far is too complex for most people to understand and (surprise, surprise) devianTarts are bad at math.
* '''Journal Culture''' - [http://kit-prower.deviantart.com/journal/25419449/ Okay, i got scarlet fever, as the journal entry suggests. It's a lovely little disease that causes a rash that itches to hell and back, causes evil evil fever, causes enflamed throat, skull cleaving headaches, and god do i ever have to scratch my balls... i mean seriously, of all the places the rash could have gone, it went to my back, which i can't scratch, and to my god damn nuts.]
* '''[[DevianTART Stamps|Stamps]]''' - Stamps of anything else, ranging from [[entertainment]], to the opinion ones that [[no one cares about]], even with [[politics]]. expect to see [[circlejerk|circlejerking]], [[Flame War|flame wars]], and other drama-inducing shit there on the comment section.

<center><gallery>
Image:Printscreenequalstalent.jpg|Want instant talent? Just hit printscreen.
Image:KatEmpireWTF.JPG|A wonderful example of storytelling on Deviantart.
Image:lensflare.jpg|Lens flare makes EVERYTHING better!
</gallery></center>

===Daily Deviations===
Just like winning the lotto, except your chances are improved by [[Sell_Out|asskissing]] and the prize is in pageviews and flames, not [[Christopher Gregorio|money]]. Daily deviations (DDs) are [[Shit|artworks]] that have been featured for 24 hours, give or take a day or two depending on the server lag. Considering the quality of the daily deviations chosen (see right for an example), it’s no wonder that most admins with DD-picking privileges complain about being inundated with suggestions.

They also enjoy giving DD to stolen and edited art without caring about the original artist, suggesting that the person joins Deviantart to get the DD removed. Oh the love.

There is one DD that has held the title of "Most Important Daily Deviation to Exist" for quite some time now. Since [[Last_Thursday|January 01, 2009]] to be exact. This DD holds such a title because of the amount of Lulz that ensued after it was awarded such an honor. The abomination that was the DD was simply known as [http://shebid.deviantart.com/art/McCreepy-the-Frog-107994234 McCreepy the Frog]; moonbeam13 initially awarded the DD. It came about from some stupid fucking game that some idiot fucktart had created, the objective of which was to draw a frog with your eyes closed. Much [[BAWW|butthurt]] ensued, with many crying heresy that such a shitpiece be featured. The next morning, moonbeam13 posted [http://moonbeam13.deviantart.com/journal/22329023/ a journal] explaining that she didn’t mean to award it a DD - it was to test out the new DD system, and she hadn’t removed it properly before going to bed. She then removed the DD. Soon after, Purpleblur re-awarded a DD to McCreepy the Frog, just to assert that mod powah is absolute and to stick it to the whiny bitches that actually wanted to see art. This makes it the only piece on dA that was deliberately featured for 48 hours straight, and thus holds the title of "Most Important Daily Deviation to Exist."
<center><gallery>
Image:One Line of Text Gets You a Feature.PNG|It takes literally one line of text to get a "Daily Deviation" on DeviantART.
Image:McCreepy_the_Frog_by_shebid.jpg|[http://shebid.deviantart.com/art/McCreepy-the-Frog-107994234 An actual Daily Deviation.]
Image:Not_to_bear_by_havesomehats.jpg|Yet another [http://havesomehats.deviantart.com/art/not-to-bear-18024124 great DD]
Image:DAROCKSTHEFT.png|Wanna get a DD, steal art from pixiv.net and call it "stocks" get 1000+ in favs.
</gallery></center>

===Getting banned===
[[Image:DA Banning DArtboard System.jpg|thumb|900px|center|<center>Official banning system of the deviantART staff.</center>]]
[[Image:Instant Ban from DA.jpg|thumb|200px|"Posting this in your deviantART gallery will get you banned in under 30 seconds, or your money back!"]]
There are various ways in which you could get your ass [[banned]] from deviantART. They include:
*Making a favorite category called "retarded crap" then adding every deviation to it.
*Making any kind of comment, positive or negative, on a Daily Deviation (Usually a piece of porn that's featured for a day).
*Don't suck [[Japan]]'s [[dick]].
*Being a bad reference to the site (i.e. getting an Encyclopedia Dramatica article).
*Putting crap in the wrong category.
*Trolling (that's an easy one, especially now that tartlets don't have to BAWWWWW to the mods every time due to the recent addition of a "Report [[Copypasta|Spam]]" button).
*Promoting warez.
*Mocking [[Tom Preston]], his followers, or any other sysop.
*Labeling another deviant as "[[bitch]]" (see [[Bleedman]]).
*Jokingly referring to another deviant as a "godless devil-worshipper".
*Having ever visited any *[[chan]] board.
*Pointing out the really very manly mustache that the admin [[chix0r]] has.
*Linking to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] articles with the aim of potential [[lulz]].
*Asking people if they liek [[mudkip]]
*Opposing [[Animal cruelty|animal abuse]] (see [[poeticirony]]).
*Being a fan of [[Encyclopædia Dramatica]]. The [[moderator]]s will get even more [[butthurt|upset]] if you mention it on deviantART, particularly on the profile of a [[moderator]].
*Questioning anything on the site.
*Posting [[Goatse|Goatse]] in the "[[Porn|Artistic Nude]]" category.
*Contacting someone who has blocked you (place of contact has to be outside of their userpage, thus making the Block system utterly worthless).
*Trolling the forums complaining about how Fanart should not be featured (it should be killed with fire). Be prepared for incoming eBaumfags, weeaboos, and artfags. Many lulz and drama will ensue.
* Making screenshots that aren't properly censored (According to RetardedSquared, they are all forms of "bullying" and therefore not allowed
* Giving out constructive criticism or, really, criticism of any kind.

Many potential [[lulz]] exist when doing any of the above. The users and administrators do not like criticism of any form, people who are opposed to [[anime]] [[porn]], and people who are in touch with the outside world. They prefer the [[basement dwellers|type of people]] who will throw away money for the site (this act has been named "subscription")

It should be noted that if you laugh too hard at the [[retard|artists]] on their site, you will be banned in spite of your subscription status. If you're a masochist/[[no friends|have nothing else to do with your life]] and decide to make a new account after getting banned, then the admins will hunt you down and ban your new account in between sucking [[Snapesnogger]] and [[Teruchan|Teruchan's]] dicks. In other words: why the fuck are you making a new account there in the first place?

===The Points System===
deviantART has a system of [[money|points]] that serve as on site [[scam|credits]], Tartlets often treat these points like gold and beg for them like a Jew. These points can only be used on-site, and it takes [[over 9,000]] of them just to get even the most basic of uses out of them. Most Tartlets will start a donation pool to get more points so they can buy stuff. Points are commonly exchanged for even more Llamas, and there is even an [http://llamatrade.deviantart.com/ exchange] dedicated to the trade of worthless Llamas for points, most Tarlets are unaware of this system and will often beg for points on their page in exchange for Llama's, comments, watches, faves, and even commissions.

====Llamas====
[[Image:llama_list_to_10_000_by_cowpi.png|thumb|120px|Someone kill me now.]]
In late March of 2010, deviantTART added a new feature guaranteed to cause more idiotic [[drama|drama.]] Llama badges. These stupid things are now worth more than pageviews, as a they have spawned numerous groups and pages of [[retards|people]] clamoring for them. As an added bonus, the badge levels up as you receive a certain number of them, which makes every TARTlet want [[all caps|FUCKING MOAR!!!]]. Not so recently an addition was made to the Llama madness when DeviantART added the ability to literally [[scam|buy]] accessories for your Llamas along with the llamas themselves. In an effort to control the madness DeviantART added an annoying [[Spam]] Filter, which popped up after giving a few dozen llamas, to provoke even more drama DeviatART decided to replace the filter message with a different one telling users they didn't have enough points to complete the transaction and requesting them to purchase more points.

As of [[2011|January 2011]] many deviants received a rude awakening to the struggles of the [[real world]], when DeviantART started to penalize Deviants for accepting "[[Scam|Fraudulent Points]]" from other members on the site. This resulted in the first official DeviantART [[Poverty|Debt Crisis]] of the current recession. This lead many of deviantART's beggars and businesspeople to be put into [[poor|debt]] with their negative point balances.

[[Image:Give a friend PMS.PNG|thumb|center|600px|A typical tarlet donation pool.]]

===Getting the most out of deviantART===
[[File:Dalogo.jpg|center|thumb|900px|<center>'''It is the 21st century, and there is only faggotry.'''</center>]]
As deviantART is full of [[Bullshit|wonderfully talented artists]] who dedicate their lives to the pursuit of [[Fail|brilliance]], many [[Lulz]] can be achieved through [[Lies|complimenting their artistic superiority]] and suggesting they take their [[porn|art]] to somewhere it'll be appreciated the most: [[conceptart]].org. Several known Tartlets have easily been milked for [[lulz]] by their surprise at [[truth|constructive criticism]]. (See [[chase]]; or [[Snapesnogger]]).

====1. Browse Deviantart and target [[noobs|artists]] with characteristics similar to that of the aforementioned [[lulzcow]]s.====
If [[you]] are a [[Truth|retard]] and cannot identify them, they are listed here:
*Unjustified self importance
*[[Assburgers]] Syndrome
*[[Anime]] [[shit|artwork]]
*[[Fantard]] of any kind
*[[Crybaby]]
*THIS IS MY STYLE!!!111oneoneeleven
*[[Pokemon]]
*Countless other signs of [[Retard|Retardation]] or [[Fail]], which to any ED user, should be abhorrently apparent by now.

====2. Follow their activity on [[conceptart|conceptart.org]].====
The most commonly predictable trait exhibited is posting [[shit]] in the finally finished forum. Here, Admins and partially skilled professionals will give honest critiques, and from here the lulztrain leaves the station when any Tartlet either:
#Defends their art
#Tells the admins how mean they are
#Masturbates
#Tells themselves they are talented and eats a tub of Ice cream
#Or just writes it off and continues to post their [[Epic]] Failures.
#Laughs

====Commenting and Favoriting====
Commenting on a deviation means giving a completely dishonest opinion of it - if the deviation happens to be just a pile of MSPaint shit, the comments it receives usually say: 'I dig your style' or 'This is so awesome FAV'D++'. Meanwhile, a Favorite is used when a deviant can't even be arsed to write a single word.
<center><gallery perrow=5>
Image:Liekcomments.jpg|[[Deviantart]] is not about the art, it's about the [[comments]].
Image:Blocked lol.PNG|You'll see this when giving a deviant an opinion.
Image:Raindowcomment.PNG|A typical comment from a [[Weaboo]]
Image:Dacrybaby.PNG|The usual reaction to someone's opinion. Note the cry for help and the number of comments received.
Image: Too late.jpeg|If you don't want the world to know, don't make it public.
</gallery></center>

=====[[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|Wrong Way]]=====
[[Image:Itwillneverhappen.jpg|thumb|No.]]
"[[Verbose|I must say, this is a striking image.]] It possesses such a bright, color-rich atmosphere and I just can't take my eyes off of it. However, I think you could have invested more time in defining the proportions during the early stages of the work because one of the girl's hands appears slightly larger than the other, even though it's further away. You may also want to consider the placement of light sources in the picture before applying the shading. While the light really brings it to life, it's coming from the wrong direction. Setting that aside, I think it's a beautiful picture. Keep up with the good work!"

Or

"This seems to have taken a good amount of time and I've seen improvement in your work. The only thing I can mention is the proportions are a bit off. I saw a lovely tutorial on proportions with expressions here [link] 
Good luck and I think with a little more work you'll be even better! :)"

=====[[Doing it right|Right Way]]=====
*"cool."
*"First comment!"
*"OMG SOOO CUTE!! *hugs*"
*"HNNNNNNNNNNG *dies of cuteness*"
*"AAAAAAAAAAH THIS IS SO WRONG!!!ONE". ''(Add more than 20 emoticons of your choice for full effect.)''
*"SUGOI KAWAII [[desu|DESU]] NE!"
*"This bad bad! But I like cause is sexy. They go bed and sex! :D "
*"Yaoi! Yay! But Inuyasha is mine!"
*"I love that show!"
*"(:"
*<nowiki>:iconlarryplz:</nowiki>
*"[[EBay|A++++++ WOULD FAVE AGAIN]]"

'''Posting Links to ED on DA'''
It seems when someone posts a link to any ED article, DeviantART immediately gives you a spam prompt, thinking you're spamming the site. Oddly enough, just writing out "Encyclopedia Dramatica" doesn't trip the filter.

[[Sarcasm|What a perfect cover for filtering out unwanted drama]]. All you need to do create a tinyurl.

<center><gallery>
File:DeviantArtspam.PNG|Nope, it's Spam!!
File:DAEDspam.png|Even at links with positive comments.
Image:Opinions.PNG|How DA and Gaia view ED.
</gallery></center>

==Community==
===Types of Tartlets (Deviants)===
<center><youtube>0MqH0hRJG8k</youtube></center>
<center>'''deviantART in a nutshell'''</center>
 
[[Image:The loving hatred by Bulbaboi4444.png.jpg|thumb|{{dauser|bulbaboi4444|Typical retard on DeviantArt}}]]
DeviantART's population consists mainly of [[Batshit insane|emotionally-unstable]] [[16 year old girls|artists]] who aspire to [[wapanese|move to Japan]] and [[Unrealistic Expectations|become famous manga artists]], but instead they end up as [[Cosplay]] [[attention whore|enthusiasts]] that earn a living off the [[shit|Harajuku]] by exchanging [[Prostitute|odd jobs]] for food in the back alleys behind the clothing stores. That's why you have all these weird submission categories.
[[Image:A scary photo of myself.jpg|thumb|[[Snapesnogger|The most well known of all Tartlets, Snapesnogger.]]]]
[[Image:DeviantARTonreligion.jpg|thumb|Your average TARTlet doesn't understand anything, including religion. Such as this kid who pretends he's a [[homosexual|satanist]] but is [[retard|doing it wrong]].]] ''Tartlets'' (also known as ''Deviants'') can choose what kind of Deviant they want to pretend to be by choosing from a drop-down menu. They are listed here in order of increasing offensiveness.

Regardless of type, however, all tartlet usernames must have [[wolfaboo|references to wolves]], the moon, [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], be a character from any video game, or end with -chan.

* '''The Artist''' (''Artifex faber'') - Constantly [[banhammer]]ed for displaying none of the above characteristics and wanting a place to share their art, the ''Artifex faber'' population has experienced a sharp decline, becoming an endangered species relegated to a life of struggling to feed and clothe themselves and their [[Bristol Palin|17 year-old, 8-month-pregnant girlfriend]]. Many have fled deviantART to more quality-oriented art sites like [http://www.storm-artists.net/ Storm Artists]. However, it is still believed this form of [[Internet]] artist will become extinct by next year. Van Gogh, Da Vinci, and Michaelangelo are spinning in their graves because of this. also has a form of incurable [[Autism|Artism]]
* '''The Addict''' (''Sucis chumpicus'') - Tartlets who spend all day on deviantART in the [[complaints forum]] or the [[Emo|help with life forum]] complaining about how much everything on deviantART sucks. They are known for updating their journals every 4 hours, telling you about their personal high-school life as if you cared.
* '''The Daz Dialer''' (''Gigantus titus'') - Talent-less hacks who got a hold of [https://www.daz3d.com/ Daz 3D] [a 3D rendering program], stole some female models or used the default female model [[https://www.daz3d.com/genesis8 known as Genesis]], stole some pre-made assets, dialed the female model's breast and/or ass size to 1000%, set up the model and assets like a diorama, clicked the "Render" button, submitted it to DevianTART and called it a day. [https://www.deviantart.com/boobrepli/art/Marissa-Ready-For-Tha-Club-656137941 This kind of trash] will make views, favorites, and fans starving, actual artists can only dream of. Many making in excess of 10,000 views from horny 13 year old retards looking for a quick set of unrealistically gigantic tits to jack off to.
* '''The Attention [[Troll]]''' (''Gobblus atticus'') - Those who make dA slightly more interesting, providing comments of both controversial and plain annoying natures to provoke responses from those who are willing to post multitudes of journals (i.e [[furries]] and any other member of the 'whores' family, such as Favewhores, [[Chat|dAmnwhores]], etc.). They are also the only reason someone joins that shithole of a site. This specific type of troll originates in the forums, sometimes from other sites, and they most commonly evolve out of sheer boredom. A common characteristic is to stalk admins who then reject them, leaving the troll in a state of site-hatred. They often flee to [[ED]] and make pages concerning the [[admins]].
* '''The Favewhore''' (''Amorae ubiquitus'') - [http://alaniagryphon.deviantart.com/ A Deviant who goes around adding every single submission of another's gallery into their favorites gallery, and everything that goes into their message inboxes.] ''Amorae ubiquitus'' usually has little or no deviations, or fucking huge galleries full of crap made in [[MSPaint]], or stolen art. Typical comment by these douchebags: [[Wapanese|"OMG LIEK KAWAIII NEKO DESUDESUDUES!!111"]]. Some also go around adding every single submission on the front page into their favorites, then sets up a donation widget were PEOPLE ACTUALLY FUCKING GIVE THEM MMOOONNNEEYYYY FOR FAVING. And 256 people watch the person, even though they only have one journal with a video that they didn't even make. And when they're called out for it they just deactivate and make a new account. Typical profile page: A bunch of hidden comments because they don't want to accept the fact that a favewhore is what they've become. They also never comment, ever.
* '''The Wallpaperist''' (''Muro faber'') - Deviants who believe that running a random script through a 3D-gen program and adding text makes them "interesting". The most common specimens of ''Muro faber'' are [[13 year old boys|13-year-old boys]], who just don't know what the fuck "interesting" is, or [[Retard|20-year-old boys]] who still think it makes them "interesting".
* '''The Stamp Maker''' (''Stampus factorem'') - They are typically [[fanboys]] and [[fangirls]], [[shipping|shippers]], [[opinion]] (unpopular or not) and [[facts]] warmongers, and even [[Politics|politicucks]]. they wastes their time making stamps, which ranges from [[pointless]] to [[edgy]].
* '''The Litigious Crumpet''' (''Imma gonna sue-a ya assa offa'') - Artist who will go batshit insane if any of her ''pwecious images'' have been severely altered (i.e. turned into an icon for a forums board or even passed around period, because what's even worse than having your images cut up by MSPaint?) and threatens to sue people utilizing the oft-abused weapon (and often yiffed by Furries) called the "Digital Millennium Copyright Act" (DMCA).
* '''The 20+ Retard''' (''Sophmorus obsoletus'') - [[Image:sprained_minds_by_suzi9mm.jpg|thumb|[http://suzi9mm.deviantart.com/art/sprained-minds-5068436/ A clear example of general community taste. Ow.]]] A Deviant who claims to be [[pedobear|over 20 years old]] but draws and types like a 3-year-old. If you give the least bit of criticism or even no criticism, they will [[RAEG|block you]], [[spam|flag the comment as spam]], [[bawww|or hide the comment]].These people usually fall for the most obvious trolls and always try to make any argument with a troll to their preferred point by blocking him after replying these people don't know that blocking is for pussies and they get buthurt over the most little reasons if there is any reason. The only people that like these types of artists are other such crappy artists or ones that have no art in their gallery and have no idea what art is. These types of people are usually 3 year olds posing as adults, or genuine adults who have a mental/social disability such as autism or aspergers. These adults like to entertain the idea that they're an artist, while they make no improvement or progress in their skill over years. It's obvious they rely on deviantART as their only means of socialization, sanity, and self-esteem; with the amount of time spent on the site, their lack of social skills, and their whiny attention whore behavior making remarks in streams, comments, even their own journals about how much they suck/everyone hates them/no one is paying attention to them.
** [http://imperialhope.deviantart.com/ This Tartlet REALLY fucking hates "The Secret Show" and will kill anyone who's a fan!]
** [http://superjailfan101.deviantart.com/ He is a 26-year-old dude who just got into Thomas the Tank Engine and is expecting a baby in March. Oh, yeah, and he likes to block people who "upset" him. RJ Bandsma, anyone?]
** [http://latigressa1.deviantart.com/ Quite possibly a literal retard.]
* '''The Flash Maker''' (''Fulgore faber'') - [[13-year-old boys]] who make boring looped Flash animations of [[unfunny|random]] subjects that consist of five frames and run for ten seconds. Otherwise, they make countless dating game simulations featuring stick figures or tracings from ''[[Dragonball Z]]'' so that they can fap to them. These tartlets usually belong on [[YTMND]] or [[Newgrounds]] but some migrate to deviantART for additional attention-whoring.
* '''The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist''' (''Copaepastus unoriginus'') - People who make and submit absolutely nothing but pictures that portray their main fetish(es). They're much worse than your typical tartlet, especially if they consstantly rub said fetish(es) into other people's faces.
** http://thepsychodog.deviantart.com/
** The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist in action: A pandering, try-hard, indecisive, autist, furfag shill that draws nothing but shit tier lesbian, bdsm, or furry porn [usually a combo of the 3 and more] and will spam it to your face by spreading it [and his OCs] everywhere like AIDS.
* '''dAmnwhores''' (''Audarae filia'') - 13-to-16-year-old girls who frequent deviantART's chatrooms. Unlike the forums, the CHAT is teh most denjerus place in deviantART. dAmn (deviantART [[Masturbation|Messaging]] Network) is inhabited by camwhores, pedophiles, azns, white men, crackwhores, stoners, filipinos, and George W. Bush.
* '''The Camwhore''' (''Vidarae filia'') - [[16 year old girls]] who've evacuated from MySpace shutdowns and timeouts in favor of the deviantART shutdowns and timeouts. They herald their existence by flooding the front pages with crappy webcam shots of their ass and graduate to posting thinly-veiled shots of their [[penis|vagina]] under the pretense of '[[Bullshit|Artistic Nudity]]'. Naturally, they get almost as many Daily Deviations as ''The Pornographer''.
* '''The Hybrid''' (''Portmanteau'') - A fairly common but equally pretentious breed of Tartlet who is an incestuous inbred combination of significant traits deriving from all, or a select few of the other deranged types of 'Deviant'. They herald delusions that only their twisted ideals hold value, and if said view is confronted, they attempt to suck the fan/fapping sympathy of DeviantART's community teet through worthless Journal venting whenever an emotional surge occurs in their otherwise pathetic lives.
** http://kittytoxin.deviantart.com/journal/
** The Hybrid in action: Member; A whiny little bitch/The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist.
* '''The Pornographer''' (''Penis puer'') - These are photographers who are convinced keeping nudies in their gallery that ''"AWESOME, HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THOSE TITS!?"'' will get a Daily Deviation every week as they, meanwhile, [[masturbate|vigorously]] defend their right to post their boobs, their sister's boobs, their dog's boobs, your mom's boobs, Janet Jackson's uni boob, or whomever's boobs until kingdom come. It should here be noted the admins agree with this notion: pictures of boobs and vaginae [[fapfapfap|are just intensely artistic]] (IMPORTANT: Admins also agree that male nudity similar in nature is not covered under this, due of course to blatant gayness). Emo boys also fit into this group because they believe that taking a [[sepia]]-toned picture of their ugly face and greasy hair and blasting it with the dodge tool is "hot" or "artistic." Then they upload their abominations to the nudity section, much to the pleasure of [[retards|Ville Valo fangirls]]. Swedish dickheads like Yoshaki and Limpurtikles seems to enjoy watching [[16 year old girls]] [[rape|getting tied up.]]
{{Quote|The base is there, but the execution is rather lackluster.Her bosoms need to be more brimming. Let the chest be your canvas and inspiration your brush. In fact, if you're a healthy female of breeding age, maybe I could teach you the ways of an art connoisseur over dinner. Have you ever had dinner with an artist? I bet not.
So, even though you haven't asked me yourself, I might as well tell you the gloomy details and get the whole thing over with. I'm 18 years old, I have dark hair, I'm a little over six feet tall, and I have green eyes, a car, and a country club membership. These are all desirable traits that fertile adults seek to propagate. Get back to me.|AgentRuble, an art connoisseur and pedophile, asks a 13 year-old [[loli]] to develop her art and bosom. No, really, [http://comments.deviantart.com/1/548115664/3893599192 see for yourself].}}
* '''The Drive-By Propagandist''' (''Shitbaticus insanicus'') - These cunning deviantARTlets spew their unwelcome propaganda on their galleries and journals, and attempt to silence anyone who dares question their [[Bullshit|backwards logic]].
* '''The Sonic Recolourist''' (''Velocitas colorare'') - These so-called 'artists' take screenshots from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games and shit all over them to form [[Chasethehedgehog|red]] [[Bludshot the Hedgehog|Sonics]], [[Chris-chan|yellow Sonics]], blue Tailses and lime green [[Gay|Shadows]]. ''(See Also: the cross-over effects of the [[emo]] movement evidenced by Mario's fabled brother "Luigi" shifting from his classic green composure to the less Nintendoesque "Pink vs. Black" so favored by said [[fucktards]] - user LironDe /Removed/)'' They are easily [[butthurt|enraged]] by statements that contradict the "[[Original character|incredible originality and brilliance]]" of their artwork and are quick to accuse others of "stealing" their "Green Sonic" fan-character, despite the fact that Sonic artists are only aware of 8 colours (black, white, red, green, blue, pink, yellow, and cyan.)
* '''The Fandom Retard''' (''Maria suezae'') - [[Image:Catbranca.jpg|thumb|[[Branca]], self-proclaimed wife of Stuart Tusspot, from [[Gorillaz]].]] These people only go around drawing animu, making [[Superdemon-Inuyasha|flashy animu "art"]] [[Zeriara|of characters fucking their mother's sister's brother]], creating [[yaoi|sophisticated, stylistic portraits of males from Shojo such as]] Fruits Basket and [[Spaction3|joining crappy clubs]] but [[lie|insist they're not furries or retarded]]. For most, this is a temporary larval stage lasting until the age of 16 and metamorphose into [[Instagram|Instagram whores]], [[furries]] or [[pedophilia|pedophiles]]. They can usually be found plagiarizing, defending and kissing the ass of people who fit in ''The Popular Ass'' category, or, rarely, like [[Zeriara]], becoming jealous of [[Snapesnogger|them]] and drawing [[guro|kill art]] of their characters. Occasionally, these insufferable [[weeaboos]] also post shitty fanfiction, which, predictably, is a re-upload of their collections from [[Fanfiction.net]]. The theory is that the more sites they post their ficshit on, the more their e-peeni will be stroked. If they gather more attention, epileptic orgasms ensue. Typically, if fanfics are well-written (even more rare on DA than on Fanfiction.net), they will be [[porn]] masquerading as fine literature. These are the examples:
** [http://shizuce-bluefire.deviantart.com/ Shizuce-Bluefire]
** [http://dipsynoodles.deviantart.com DipsyNoodles]
** [http://chibi-sanzo.deviantart.com/ chibi-sanzo]
* '''The Fatass''' (AKA 'Fat/Inflation Artist') (''Fattius asinus'') - These so called '[[FA|Fat-Admirers]] create [[inflation art|inflated or grossly-overweight]] depictions of pre-existing or [[original character]]s with MSPaint's curve tool, or are manually drawn in pencil. They will ruthlessly defend their "[[Marijuana|art]]," calling their personal army of [[faggots|friends]] for support at the first sight of a negative comment. Unfortunately, fatasses continually subject innocent people to Eye[[rape]] with their awful artwork, and must be stopped. These fuckheads really need to draw something else for a change.
** [http://virus-20.deviantart.com/ This guy] is a prime example.
* '''The XNALara faggots''' (''XnaLaricus faggoticus'') - These 13 year old fangirls and faggots make most stunning [[Faggotry|video game renders]] [[Scat|ever seen to the human's eye]]. And since the name of this little tool is XNALara, as in [[Tomb Raider|Lara Croft, from Tomb Raider]], you get [[Resident Evil]] renders. [[Porn|And "erotic" art]]. Also, they release shit mesh-mods of Jill Valentine in the same faggy business suit. Oh, and if you DARE to say [[Truth|how much their model sucks, is poorly made and is not professional in any way]], they will block you and delete your comment.
<center><gallery>
File:Sophiawesker.png|The highest level of creativity of an average XNALara faggot. [[Scat|Notice how perfectly the skin tone of her legs and face match]].
File:yellowface.png|Proof how the members of the XNALara community are very nice and the most polite people that ever existed.
</gallery></center>
* '''The Furry or "Anthro Artist"''' (''Yifficus totalis'') - [[File:JollyJacks-crap-vs-the-original-by-SilverFenrir.png|thumb|{{dauser|JollyJack}},ttly '''NOT''' Pornz u gais!!! Also ttly not copied.]] These usually cause the most drama by whining about how much everyone hates their fursonas and getting their [[Akuryou|art stolen by ten year olds]] because only THEY own the copyright to [[zeriara|lemurs]]/huskies/redpandas/dicknippled nine-tailed vampire fairy badgers/''ad infinitum'', so they [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|delete all their pictures]] only to make a new deviantART account soon after.
{{main|furry art}}
* '''The Flaggot''' (''Banius pedocunteus'') - The term flaggot, unknown outside of [[Urban Dictionary|UrBanned Dictionary]] before the advent of [[TGcomix]] and his brand of [[16-year-old girl|self-righteous]] [[Islam|martyrdom]], is a term used to describe bastards who have the gall to report [[catholic|Saints]] who have done [[No|absolutely nothing wrong]]. Overlooking a [[LittleCloud|pedobitch]] who failed the [[O RLY?|psychological test]] for a sex change operation [[fleshlight|regularly using]] a portmanteau of "faggot," what is a flaggot? Well, to [[trap|trannies]] who march in a one-person trap-parade 24/7 and cry [[feminism|oppression]] like a [[16-year-old girl|bicurious teenage girl]], a flaggot is anyone who reports your lolicon lifts. This [[birdman|incestuous lovechild]] germinates into an organized effort by a cabal of homophobes on a site which regularly features G[[OM NOM NOM|BLT]] to get the admins, many of them passing as homosexuals, to ban someone who is as wanted as a boner at a [[Purity Ball]]. For less [[retarded|schitzophrenic]] generalizations about this particular [[incest|breed]] of DAer, see all of the preceding and successive categories. Typical comment: ''Comment marked as spam.''
* '''The Cosplayer''' (''Imbicilae in costumus'') - [[File:fagboi.jpg|thumb|[http://bulbaboi4444.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2d1dve Typical cosplaying pokéfag]]] These tartlets are actually stupid enough to get a professional photographer to take pictures of their fantastic costumes their comatose grandmother made them. The average age of the cosplayer is 24. Not surprisingly, some cosplayers give up their heterosexuality to fit in with their chosen character, and, knowing many tartlets, will give up theirs to be like their idols. Too bad they don't have a professional photog. Unless you're a famous cosplayer of EPIC WIN, you can attract pornographers armed with HUEG cameras to shoot you more than OJ Simpson can. A perfect example for this kind of cosplayer is [[Blackmage9|Alodia]] or [http://Blackmage9.deviantart.com blackmage9] - a coswhore who is freakingly famous in her country and also some sort of a celebrity in the internet. Alodia is about to dominate the world with her "kawaii" (a.k.a. sexual charm) talent to seduce every stalking [[fucktard]] so they can buy her prints and bid a shitload of Jewgold for all of her used [[crap|stuff]].
** A subset of this tartlet is the '''The Poseur''' (''Passuer imagica thuivery'') who is stupid enough to plagiarize a set of images from the same cosplayer (preferably famous or in professionally-made attire), or a combination of several different cosplayers' images, regardless of nationality, body type, facial features, or even gender. The best part is that people accept the dupe as genuine, leaving rave comments and expressing their appreciation of the imposter's "talents."
* ''' The Popular Ass''' (''Popularium asinus'') - [[Image:Flamers_by_Teruchan.jpg|thumb|[[Teruchan|Illustrated example of how the Popular Ass views the rest of the internets]] ]]Deviants who have more than a million pageviews and as a result, have their heads stuck up their ass. They're usually this popular because their galleries are full of ''[[Kingdom Hearts]]'', [[Sonic]], [[Furry]], [[Pokemon]], [[Disney]], ''[[Nintendo|Super Smash Bros.]]'', [[Animu|Anime]], [[Naruto|Narutard]] and [[hentai]] "fanart" and they regularly threaten to leave about thirty times per week. Posting criticism on their page results in immediate attacks by their [[Personal Army]] of retarded fans, which shows that deviantART is a place full of [[Idiot]]s and [[Fail]].
* '''The Emo Poet''' (''Plagiralus emotalis'') - These are the people who are too stuck-up to bother with either Facebook or LiveJournal because they believe they are [[retard|artistic]]. They can often be found redistributing copypasta from [[vampirefreaks]], trying to seem [[Gay|hardcore]]. A recently discovered relative of this species is Monglus Canus, commonly know as the Dogmongler.
* '''The Emographer''' (''Vidarae filia emotalis'') - Similar to the Emo Poet, these deviants deem themselves superior to their Facebook/LiveJournal counterparts, but does not differ a lot from their roots, as they enjoy posting pictures of them cutting themselves and then sucking up all of the pity that the internets has to offer.
* '''The HXC Moshgrapher''' (''Br00talis XXXila'') - Moar [[13-year-old boys]] who upload photographs of themselves and their HXC mosh pit crew fighting ghosts at local hardcore shows. Normally stolen from [http://www.destroyalllines.com Destroy All Lines], These ''[[emo]]'' zubs will threaten with gang[[rape]] and epic flaming if their lens flare spin kick br00tal XXX mic steal pics are criticized. Note the sweat, blood (from razors) and semen on the lens.
* '''[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] Crew''' (''Anonymus lulzae'') - The [[Awesome|lurkers]] of deviantART who dig up all the glorious lulz and tell the truth about this place. Be they banned or spurned, these dedicated [[men]] and [[no girls on the internet|women]] pursue their intended targets with constant vigilance and unwavering dedication.
* '''[[13 year old boys|Cheerleaders]] of [[Anonymous]]''' (''Anonymus lulzae pussia'') - Some users of deviantART, being namefags of sorts, fear teh banhammer, but will indirectly participate, or at least cheer, from the sidelines as frontline Anonymous [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|kill the faggotry with fire]]. True Anons are encouraged to [[rape]] them until they stop being [[pussy|pussies]] and join in the [[lulz|fun]]. Some even act as if they [[Newfag|knew anonymous all their lives]].
<center><gallery>
Image:Peaceful_state_of_mind_by_destinytripp.jpg|Typical ID picture of the Emographer.
Image:DAFag.jpg|[[suicide|Bored]] and talentless members post photos of [[fugly|themselves]].
</gallery></center>

===Levels of Tartlets===
[[Image:Summary of DA.jpg|thumb|center|1000px|<center>'''Summary of dA, wank wank wank wank.'''</center>]]
* '''Members''' - Also known as "normal" tartlets, they are ubiquitous, and can be found in even the [[hell|deepest pits]] of deviantART. Members are mostly whiny little [[bitch]]es, [[furries]] and [[fags]] that post [[shit_nobody_cares_about|everything about their lives]] in their journal on a daily basis. This group mostly consists of [[retards]] who assume that posting [[shit]] [[fan art]] every single day of their pathetic lives will make them [[an hero|famous]]. They also hope to be promoted to senior members or admins, but don't realise that even deviantART rejects [[retards]] as potential material.
* '''Subscribers''' - (CORE members) [[File:Da-premium1.png|48px]] - Although rare, this level contains the closest thing to ''real'' artists that deviantART has. These people are [[fucktarded]] enough to give deviantART money in return for [[sex|additional features]], and their payments form the bulk of deviantART's income. The [[admin]]z treat them as if they were their children, [[pedobear|protecting]] them from anything that might [[Offended|harm]] them, but once they realize the truth and show signs of it, the moderators will drop the [[banhammer]] on them before they can spread the truth. Once [[ban|banned]] Subscribed tartlets will beg, scream and [[cry]] for their money back, only to be told to [[STFU]] and [[GTFO]].
<center><gallery perrow=5>
Image:Bling.jpg|[[lolly]] This demonstrates where the subscribers' money goes.
File:Proetski_DA_Screenshot.jpg| Are you sure you don't want to subscribe?
Image:Rich little buggers.PNG| What happens to all the money.
Image:Basement_dwelling_tartlets.jpg|wait, how many of you live with your parents?
File:DeviantartLogic.jpg|As you can see, those who obtain a subscription from their asspatters are better people than those who use their hard earned cash to purchase one.
</gallery></center>
* '''Beta Testers''' [[File:Da-beta1.png|32px]] - Beta Testers are a sub-species of Subscribers and are also a source of deviantART's income, but instead of getting more [[shit|goodies]] than the subscribers, they actually work for deviantART by testing their [[shit no one cares about|new features]]. The only reason anyone would choose to be a Beta Tester would be for the [[masturbation|symbol]] or to get [[chasethehedgehog|closer to becoming an admin.]]
* '''Senior Members''' [[File:Da-senior1.png|16px]] - Senior Members are either really [[old]] people who have been tartlets for [[at least 100 years]] or former [[admin]]istrators. [[Noone]] really likes seniors but they [[lies|pretend]] to like them in order to become Seniors themselves. The rules are simple on how to become a Senior Member on deviantART, mostly because the [[admin]]s were too fucking [[fail|lame]] to come up with anything more original than ripping off Fight Club [http://help.deviantart.com/29/]. There are two types of Senior Members on deviantART:
**The [[Attention Whore]]s who think they are [[lies|PILLARS OF THE CUMMUNITY]] and must [[sex|sexually]] involve themselves in everything and everyone. These members are easily noticeable by their appearance everywhere and their constant positive attitude towards everything. They would smile, even in the face of a black person who was about to [[rape]] them and steal their car.
**The [[Internet tough guy]]s who like to run around and [[troll]] everything they can find. You'll often see them in the forums or chatrooms telling people to "fuck off" or "[[rape|take the knot]]." But the moment one of their [[admin]] friends are attacked, they rush in head first. These Senior Members are the worst kind, since no matter what they do or whoever they [[butthurt]], they will not be [[banned]] EVAR because they perform [[queening|various sexual acts]] for the [[admin]]s.
<center><gallery>
Image:LOLLY ACCURATE.jpg|This is a typical Admin and Senior Member relationship.
Image:Totallyhelpful.JPG|Expect wonderful help from [[Jackass|senior members]] such as [[Faggot|IBinsanity]].
</gallery></center>

===Pageviews===
Aside from drawing [[animu]], the primary goal of a tartlet is to obtain '''pageviews'''. Remember, kids: [[Attention]] is the most vital commodity of survival to the [[emo]][[fur]] girls that comprise the bulk of deviantART's population! Let's look at the following equation that was developed through intensive research: 

<div class="blink"><center><big>'''Page views = Attention = BETTER THAN SEX?!</big></center></div> 

Pageviews are a terrible [[drug]] that can drive a tartlet to engage in all sorts of lies, trickery and treachery. The quest for pageviews creates great banquets of the [[drama]] on DA, where tartlets pull all sorts of stupid shit such as [[The Great Sonic-cide of 2007|faking a mass suicide]]. Scientific research has proven that tartlets cannot reach orgasm without first acquiring [[over 9000]] views of their traced fanart.[http://web.archive.org/web/20080206154813/http://mmm-aj.deviantart.com/art/The-Cynic-s-Guide-to-dA-v2-0-51366646 This guide] contained far more effective tactics and strategies for obtaining pageviews.

Of course, 99% of all human beings who are too fucking lazy to survive [[TL;DR]] ramblings, can just check out [http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/37634905/ this submission] for a brief explanation on how to become [[popular|popularrr]] on deviantART.

[[Delthero|Be JUST like this faggot.]]

<center><gallery>
Image:RetardART is for retards.png|[[Attention Whores]] can drop $20 to have their shit spammed until 500 dorks click it!
Image:BUYOURSHITE.jpg|They cut the bullshit and just want your monies NAO!
Image:Da lie.jpg|Nobody can escape the ads.
Image:dafakeviews1.jpg|Using a hitfaker can help too.
Image:How to be popular on devart by shinga-resized.jpg|in case it's deleted, copy of 2006 cartoon on how to chase "fame" on dA
</gallery></center>

====Groups====
A relatively new way for "artists" to get noticed and amass pageviews. Groups are a weak attempt by the admins to give members a feeling of self-worth and general acceptance, thus why they're called "groups". They're basically a bunch of fetish junkies who want to up their [[popularity]] but posting their "[[art]]s" for other like minded individuals.

===The admins themselves [[File:Da-staff1.png|16px]]===
* '''CEO''' - User {{dauser|Spyed}} Not even sure is this is a [[puppet|bot]] or a lazy admin
* '''Advertising''' - A bunch of nobodies, who let photoshopped disasters onto the site as fail advertisements. They got in trouble for letting [[ lol| Pornographic advertisements]] onto the site.
*'''Communications''' - [[Who gives a fuck| Not much on them]]
* '''Community''' - The [[retards|people]] who answer the report tickets
** The ones to take note of are as followed:
*** {{dauser|RealitySquared}} or more commonly called "RetardedSquared". Not only does he completely ignore copyright laws, but he condones tracing, screenshots of copyrighted anime and manga, and people posting their penises and vaginas onto the site as "nude arts". Getting a reply to a report from him, is a sign that [[Raped|The report won't end well]]. He is also said to be finding loopholes to keep tracer {{dauser|GothicVulpix}} on the site.
*** {{dauser|dxd}} one of Retardedsquares [[buttbuddies|minions]]. Not a good admin to get in a report. HE most likely became an admin after sucking on RetardedSquare's tiny dick.
*** {{dauser|godofodd}} A giant bannhammer. [[lolwut|He has a strange obsession with nipples]]. Oh and he is one of the admins who will follow the rules.
*** {{dauser|y2jenn}} Whiny [[Tumblr|Tumblrtard]] Social Justice Warrior of the group. Don't expect good help if she banned you. You might as well be talking to clever bot. She also has the tendency to now pick through and [[balete]] works she doesn't like. Edit: It seems that if she bans you for [[retarded|good]] reasons and you try to appeal she will sic her [[buttbuddies|minion]] on you and attempt to [http://comments.deviantart.com/4/30805261/3574772215 sue your asshole for questioning her authoritah!]
*** {{dauser|kozispoon}} one of the most retarded admins ever. She will blatantly ignore important details, and don't expect a block evasion case to go right when she replies to it
Most of the other admins really are just [[shit|not worthy of noting]]. Except for [[Tom Preston|one]], who ended up [https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.rs/threads/lol-tompreston-did-it-again.569/ being the subject of one of the longest threads] in the history of ED's forum. He's still not worthy of mention.

===Trends and stupid events===
====Adoptables====
These things are the disease of deviantart that Jew use to get watchers or [[money|points]]. every [[furry]] on deviantart has made one in their time. Adoptables usually have a system where you give the fugly mismatched coloured [[sparkledog|character]] a name then draw it in your style. It usually results in butthurt failures crying because [insert username including the word [[wolf|wolf]] here] did not draw the doggie within 3 days of "claiming" it. The other way is to send points that they use to buy other even uglier designs. Users that make adoptables cry if you insult their [[fail|pretty]] designs... hint hint.

====Merchandise====
Want to show your [[gay|dA]] pride? Now you can buy shirts, hats, and much more with deviantWEAR! Yes, with designs like "Pageview [[Whore]]" you will truly be the envy of your friends… if you had any. When the obviously poor Tartlets complained that the Jewish $taff was [[obvious|only in it for the money]], they began to sell [[Troll face]] merchandise.

As of May 2013, you can no longer buy merch from DeviantART. '''Problem, internet?'''

<center><gallery>
Image:DA_Trollshirts_BUYNAOW.jpg|BUY OUR SHIT THAT WE HAVEN'T EVEN MADE OURSELVES NAOW!!
Image:Dtardfreeplushlulz.jpg|OMG!!![[oneone|11]] I TOTALLY WANT THAT [[Lol|FREE PLUSHIE FOR $75]]!!!
</gallery></center>

====April Fools Day 2008====
<center>[[Image:Herduliek.gif|100px]]</center>
[[Image:DA_Comments_Apr2008.png|185px|right]]
On April 1st, 2008, the deviantART crew, in a fail attempt to seem "Internets hip", decided to make an [[April Fools]] Joke by turning everyone's icon (including those who lacked one) into [[Mudkips]]. Unfortunately, they failed to realize that not everyone on their site is a [[4chan|sick fuck weeaboo who spends his free time in the basement fapping to Mudkip pr0n]].

Almost instantly, whiny teenage [[emo]]s overran the Help Desk, Help Chat and [[Complaints Forum]], asking essentially the same thing: "'''Why is my icon a [[Mudkip]]?'''" When these butthurt "artists" attempted to revert their icons back to normal in order to accurately reflect their [[weeaboo|individuality]] and unique-isity, their efforts were met with a strange error message: 
{{Quote|[[lulz|u dont liek mudkips?]]}} 
{{clear}}
... and it was a fail.

====devianTART Gender Wank November 2010====
[[Last Thursday|During a recent upgrade]], devianTART decided everyone on the site had to specify their gender as male or female. When confronted with this fact, [http://transfinite.dreamwidth.org/215469.html transfinite] asked [[WTF]] and many Tartstaff answered [[your mom]] and showed just [[pedobear|what kind of tartlet]] they're [[fap|looking]] for.
<center><gallery>Image:Datranswank1.jpg
Image:Datranswank2.jpg
Image:Datranswank3.jpg|[[Feminist|>mansplained]]
Image:Datranswank4.jpg
Image:Datranswank5.jpg
Image:Datranswank6.jpg
Image:Datranswank7.jpg
</gallery></center>

====April Fools Day 2010====
Two years after the Mudkips incident, deviantArt tried again to make an April Fool's joke, and failed again, unless somehow provoking unbridled amounts of rage and whining is their idea of a reaction to a successful prank. This time around they replace everyone's icons (and signatures as well this time) with [[Twilight]] and [[Lady Gaga]]-based stuff, possibly due to any reasonable person going "WTF" in the face of such things.

{{Quote|[[fail|@Prince-Charles 16 minutes 1 second ago
RAH RAH USE THE OFFICIAL THREAD O LA LA

SO I HERD U LIEK APRIL FOOLS ?

--
I want your psycho , your vertical stick.]]}} 
<center>
<gallery>Image:2010April.png|Go team fail!
Image:Teamcomplain.jpg|Go team Complaint!
Image:Correct.png|How dare you complain on their awesomeness!
Image:generalasshat.png|captain butthurt</gallery></center>

====1,000 Image Search Limit====
Just in time for the [[Christmas|2010 Holiday Season]], deviantART decided to add a search limit to the number of results a person can see. This resulted in almost immediate [[RAGE]] by the [[Tartlet]] community, once they realized they could no longer view hidden [[Lie|masterpieces]] of the wonderful worlds of [[Pokemon]], [[Twilight]], [[Harry Potter]], [[Naruto]], and [[Vocaloid]]. This resulted in many [[Fake|Internet Protests]] on and off the site and a surge in Forum activity, to which the admins said that they really didn't give a fuck.

====April Fools Day 2011====
DeviantART, in their never-ending search to please the ten-year olds that inhabit the site, somehow found out about [[Troll face]], and decided to [[doing it wrong|completely fuck it up]].[[Image:DA_april_fools_2011_trollface.png|thumb]]

They put images of the infamous character everywhere, in order to piss off the [[retard|smart]] tartlets, because they couldn't read their messages and no one could see their art.

Since everyone knows clicking things makes it go away, our beloved Troll face was assaulted by thousands of mice that fateful day. Little did these heartless criminals know, doing so would only lead to a message explaining the prank, which [[doing it wrong|completely ruins the idea]]

====2012 - The Furry Uprising====
[[Image:Da2012popup.png|185px|right]]
[[Image:da2012attention.jpg|185px|right]]
Deviantart, being the [[retarded|slow-as-fuck]] little [[autism|inbreds]] they are, decided to appeal to the [[furries|cat lovers]] of the internet by making cats the "main thing", they had a window pop up every 20 seconds, informing [[you]] about "mandatory cat education", by including [[shit nobody cares about|small cat-related facts]] , and forced every user to create [[furry porn|cat-related art]], to appease the cat [[hitler]], or else their little demon mascot would be killed. Upon clicking the popup, you were met with a picture of cat-hitler, and this message:
{{quote|Greetings minions,
If you're reading this, then our ploy was a success. After years of demeaning ourselves in cat .gif animations, being forced to nyan through space, and having our vicious battles with ribbons and soda boxes videotaped for all see, our patience has finally paid off. You may think we're adorable. You may love us. But it's all been a ruse, and the time has come for action.

Let us explain.

I am `MajorGeneralWhiskers. My hobbies include sleeping on your face, making claw-graffiti on leather couches, and seeing how far I can kick litter outside the box. I lead the Feline UpRising, also known as FUR. We're an army of expert cat hackers and script kitties who have been working tirelessly to take over deviantART. We even reduced our sleep schedules to a scant 17 hours per day, and it's all paid off. Now that we've seized control, we'll be making a few changes to make things more to our liking.
|'''The autistic deviantART team''' - Way behind on internet culture''}}

'''[[TL;DR]]:''' [[Furfags]]. Despite their [[butthurt|anger]], many tartlets can't bring themselves to [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|deactivate their accounts]] because then where would they [[Sheezyart|go]]?

====Proposed *.art Top Level Domain====
[[File:DA_fart_dot_art.png|thumb|I'd buy that for a dollar!]]
Because managing a picture host for Sonic recolors and traced anime screencaps is [[Srs Bsns]], the DA [[admin]]s have started a campaign for them to manage a Top Level Domain, and have submitted an application to ICANN. Currently the [http://spyed.deviantart.com/journal/Help-support-our-application-to-manage-ART-316764084 comments] are either slavish cock sucking of the admins for e-points, or variations on "what the fuck are you thinking?"

'''UPDATE''': It didn't work. LOL.

====Removal Of The Search Bar On Favorites====
[https://www.deviantart.com/team/status-update/Some-of-you-may-have-926491637 Somewhere on August 2022], the [[retarded]] DA admins made a huge mistake, by removing the fucking search bar on favorites gallery. the reason is because it was [[Stupid|"was expensive to operate and maintain—especially given its relatively low usage."]] how exactly something as simple as search bar is so dang expensive to maintain and operate? on the "relatively low usage" part, apparantly, the statistics included inactive accounts, which is just a useless excuse to remove the feature, when most active accounts used the freaking feature.

Because of this, if you have [[Over 9000|9001]] deviations on your (or other tartlet's) favorites, now you have to scroll infinitely or go to certain pages for finding one of deviations you favorited, have a good luck.

The fact that the announcement was posted as status update instead of journal means even the DeviantArt staffs are pussied out againts the backlash of the tartlets. [https://www.deviantartsupport.com/en/article/search-in-favourites There is a votation to restore this feature though.]

And at least, Since June 2023, the favorites search bar has been restored.

====[https://www.deviantart.com/dreamup DreamUp™]====
[https://www.deviantart.com/team/journal/Create-AI-Generated-Art-Fairly-with-DreamUp-933537821 Since November 2022], as [[AI artwork|AI image generators]] went trending like crazy, the Llama-fucking DA admins [[Jumping the Shark|Jumped the shark]] by actually implementing their own AI image generator called "DreamUp" that nobody asked.

[https://www.deviantart.com/team/journal/UPDATE-All-Deviations-Are-Opted-Out-of-AI-Datasets-934500371 Few moments later on the same day], because of the backlash of angry Tartlets againts the AI generator, the DA admins foolishly set all tartlet's deviations to opt out the 3rd-party AI image generators, except DreamUp itself.

The AI generator itself is nothing more than just a bunch of external AI image generators being shoved into a fucking blender to create this abomination, how original... NOT, because we all know that DeviantArt is notorious for being rampant on [[Art Theft|art thievery]]. Upon using DreamUp for the first time, you have 5 free prompts to generate the image. after running out, you'd have to buy core for [[moar]] promps, like DeviantArt is not greedy enough, ever since its downfall after the site was sold out to Wix{{Jew}} on February 2017.

==Videos==
{{center|
{{fv|vids|background-color: #FFFFFF; text-align: center;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>R69eVWNleMA</youtube>
;The Best of DeviantART
|<youtube>8fGFjoeyc6I</youtube>
;[[Typical]] "[[Original character]]s" found on Deviant Art
|<youtube>vjnoOMEJcAY</youtube>
;The deviantART drinking game - brought to you by [[Gothzilla]]}}
}}

==Gallery==
{{collapsegallery|'''deviantART'''|dAgallery|center|<gallery perrow=5>
Image:Selfpromo.png|A failed attempt at self promotion on Tumblr.[http://artist-confessions.tumblr.com/post/33306363582/submitted-by-anonymous] See upper right.
Image:Fandomperv.PNG|Your typical basement dwelling fandom pervert.
Image:JoeyRage.PNG|This is what a butthurt shipper looks like.
Image:Shit_profile.png|Notice how this user [[Aspie|doesn't actually show his face]] without shitty editing.
Image:Bawwwww.jpg|[[How do I shot web|How do I left DA?]] Araiya-Mintaka[http://araiya-mintaka.deviantart.com] shows us [[Bawww|how it's done]].
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:EDextart.png|Before and after reading this, the [[furry]] and the [[autism]] article.
Image:Favouritesystem.PNG|This amazing piece of functioning feature is brought to you by the deviantart programmers.
Image:Sonicfans_are_retarded.png|Trolling Sonic Fantards shouldn't have to be so fucking easy.
Image:ButlovaSonicGirlsFart.jpg|You can find common [[do not want|abomination]] fetish fanart like [http://butlova.deviantart.com this one] on DeviantART.
Image:But it got worse.jpg|A fairly accurate depiction of the correlation between pageviews, lack of talent and being an Attention Whore.
Image:Unoriginalyokoripoff.jpg|My OC. DO NOT STEAL!!!11!!!11!!1!![http://generalhelghast.deviantart.com/]
Image:DeviantArt Doesnt Care.png|DeviantART polls always yield [[lulz|support]] and [[gtfo|understanding]].
Image:Fuglyemo.jpg|90% of deviantART camwhores.
Image:Ariadreamgirl.jpg|Behold, the creativity of your average camwhore.
Image:I hate ED!!!!!!.jpg|An average journal. [[irony|"I hate racism and jews"]]
Image:TypicalDArager.jpg|A typical political comment on devianTART.
Image:Deviantss.jpg|A screenshot of a screenshot of a screenshot. [[You|Who'da thunk it?]]
Image:KawaiiBondageArtNUDITYHOT.png|It's fetish ART. Or political "satire". I don't fucking know.
Image:regular_show_fantard.png|[http://imperialhope.deviantart.com/gallery/ "Imperial" Hope's gallery of "masterpieces"]
Image:fuckyouDevTART.jpg|Let the van hit you on the way out
Image:artisticnudes.jpg|Nobody takes anything as a piece of artwork anymore!
Image:LOLNARUTARD-1.jpg|Typical fanart request.
File:Typical devianTart submissions.jpg|Blowjobs are permitted now as of 2014.
File:Heartytherock troll.png|Your average TMNT fan on devianTART.
File:TEST by purpletak12.png.jpg
File:Sparklefetish1.jpeg
File:Strange people by kazokuhouou.jpg
File:First Sight by Kaze Hime.jpg
File:Mine by loladdar.jpg
File:Prayer by Jat777.jpg
File:Iris Uriko Briefs-shes-turning-tricks.jpg
File:Gretchen and Background Nazi by TheStarDoor.jpg
File:Xadaj17-2.jpg
File:SugarPig by purpletak12.png
File:Ugh the fuglyness art.jpg
File:Mistysarcasm.gif
File:DeviantArt Degenerate.jpg|Dude wtf bro
File:Littlecloudlol.jpg
File:Kiki and chris.jpg
File:Lulzhater.png
File:Ohnoesbitch.jpg
File:Miffantard4.PNG
File:DANazi2.png
File:Pride DA.png|Average [[pride]] art on DA
</gallery>}}

==See Also==
*[[Anime]] - What most talentless hacks like.
*[[Art]] - dA? Not really.
*[[Pixiv]] anime-artwork based competitor-website that has been around since 2007.
*[[Furaffinity]] - Homeworld of the furry "artwork" community.
*[[Doopie DoOver]] Tranny bitch that is more known for sucking [[Chris Chan]]'s dick than anything he ever produced.
*[[ButLova]] - The [[Uwe Boll]] of the [[inflation art|inflation fetish]] community. Hated and a disgrace.
*[[Tom Preston]] - The god emperor of artistic failure.
*[[Cheeyev]]
*[[Chii-Chan24]]
*[[Chix0r]]
*[[Curt Sibling]]
*[[DA World Tour 2009]]
*[[Drawrawr]]
*[[Dongforce#DeviantArt_Ruin|Dongforce hijacks 2000 deviantArt accounts]]
*[[Elfwood]]
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme]] - TARTlets actually made a game using their terrible fetish art and are selling it for $25 on Steam.
*[[Illcitvirus115]]
*[[Jark]] - The yellow alien.
*[[Ke-Kaikunane-o-Seer]]
*[[Linerider]]
*[[Massifesto]]
*[[Mike]]
*[[Realitysquared]]
*[[Shadow Dinosaur]]
*[[Shawn XYZ Beast]]
*[[Shoogerbare]]
*[[Smackjeeves]]
*[[Smorekitty97]] - Another one of the countless [[sick fucks|furries]] that populate deviantart.
*[[Vigouroux]]
*[[Y!Gallery]]
*[[Yuikami]] - She is what happens when a tartlet discovers [[TF2]].
*[[Banditkazoo]] - Typical devART furfag
*[[Kaoru Yuuka]]

==External Links==
* http://www.deviantart.com - The shithole itself
* http://in-ae-we-trust.deviantart.com - Our official ED group
* http://www.pixiv.net - The gook version, in moonspeak.
* http://wehatehumans.deviantart.com - A typical group
* http://proud-weeaboo.deviantart.com - Where is your God now?

{{DA}}
{{fanfic}}
{{web 2.0}}
{{Takedown}}
{{trolls}}
{{Sites}}
[[Category:DeviantART| ]]

Atheist

2024-08-12T04:11:36Z

Stooge: I deem this article in need of a cleanup.

{{tldr}}
{{cleanup}}
{{offended}}
{{warning|This page has generated more [[butthurt]] editing than all the other articles about [[Religion|religion]] combined.}}
{{ib|[[Image:Lol_atheism.jpg|thumb|250px|center|Some butthurt Dawkins fanboy will probably try to [[Goatse|change this image]].]]}}
{{ibhead|<big>'''Atheism'''</big>}}
{{ibrow|'''Name'''|Atheism}}
{{Ibrow|'''Founded'''|[[Enlightenment]] (modern form) al-Ma'arri (rootmost and earliest time)}}
{{ibrow|'''Central Figures'''|''See Famous Atheists section''}}
{{ibrow|'''[[Theology]]'''|Pan-Atheism Secular Humanism}}
{{ibrow|'''Religious Law'''|N/A Liberal Secularism}}
{{ibrow|'''Enclosed Instruction Book'''|[[Science]] (usually) [[The God Delusion]].}}
{{ibrow|'''Holy Places'''|N/A}}
{{ibrow|'''Sects'''|'''Closer to Atheism:''' Anti-Theism [[Nihilism]] Friendliness [[SJW]] [[Communism]] '''Not Atheism:''' Agnosticism Deism Apatheists Ietsism}}
{{ibrow|'''Followers'''|450 - 500 Million}}
{{Ibend}}

{{Quote|1=In this moment I am Euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessings. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.|2=Aalewis, a typical [[Reddit]]or showing the inherent [[USI|narcissism]] of atheists}}

'''Atheism''' is a [[fad]] [[cult]] which has metastasized all across the civilized world. Whether it's due to teenage angst, [[BAWW|high school bullying]], repressed rage at parents, a superiority complex covered in self-loathing, or any combination of the 4, one thing is clear. Its adherents are [[Coughlan666|attention whores]], [[FakeSagan|sycophants]], [[Richard Dawkins|stupid arrogant twats]], [[TheAmazingAtheist|bigots]], [[Christopher Hitchens|assholes]], and [[Thunderf00t|demagogues]]. In place of [[God]] they worship [[Richard Dawkins]] and what/whoever makes them feel smart. They have all the arrogance, dogma, and fanaticism that they accuse [[Muslim]]s, [[Christian]]s, [[India|Hindoo]]s or [[Jew]]s of having. They justify their attitudes by claiming to be backed by [[science]], and in their arrogance many atheists believe that [[bullshit]]. Rejecting this paradigm makes you 'anti-science', AKA heretical. These heretics are supposedly the reason why humans can still hurt each other, and atheists hypocritically think removing or at least abandoning theism = world peace. Despite claiming not to be a religion, atheism is a grotesque parody of it. And worshippers of this religion don't follow it due to a genuine religious experience or to have a more fulfilling life, unlike Muslim or Christian converts for example.

[[Image:Try_a_fedora.jpg|thumb|You might look like [[Christopher Hitchens|Cancerhitchens]]]]
[[File:Atheist's suicide theory morning post 22 dec 1931.jpg|thumb|right|An example to all atheists]]

== History ==
[[Image:Trilby and Fedora.jpg|185px|right]]
In the beginning there was darkness, and then Richard Dawkins said "let there be atheism", and, to the misfortune of people who aren't completely arrogant cunts, that shit was created. Although it started out as a [[Prank|practical joke]], it quickly grew out of control similar to an American's cholesterol level. In 1783, the website known as "Reddit" was created by [[Xenu]] and quickly became a popular place of worship by atheists and terrorists alike. This website contributed to the plague known as "free thinking" and as of the year 2013, over 0.3% of the world's population are known as atheists. Atheists can commonly be found fapping to a diagram of a mammal evolving or licking their own cum off their computer screen while the Wikipedia page on The Big Bang is loaded, because they're stupid enough to think that stuff disproves religion. While people are at church on Sunday, atheists can usually be found devouring the [[Fetus soup|flesh of unborn Christian babies]], because that's just what atheists do.

== Dinosaurs ==

[[File:Jesus_on_dinosaur.jpg|thumb|90px|What every atheist wants from religion]]

All atheists love [[dinosaur]]s. [[No exceptions]]. Spotting an atheist is easy. Just ask, "So how long have you [[Scalie|loved dinosaurs]]?"

Their autistically encyclopædic knowledge of dinosaurs is what makes them first doubt the Book of Genesis. Realizing that Genesis contains no mention of super cool dinosaurs, they reject all religions because [[Jew|Judaism]] is the world's only religion. If a religion doesn't teach the truth about how awesome dinosaurs are, it must be false, and also the cause of everything bad in the world. Because in the time of the dinosaurs, life on Earth was a paradise, where no animals believed in God, especially badass dinosaurs- until religion [[Ruination|ruined fucking everything]] and brought violence and suffering and death into the world. Only religion can make good people do bad things, because all religions are sorely lacking in totally rad dinosaur factoids.

The mere fact that dinosaur bones exist is proof that there is no God, since the Jews failed to write about them. See, scientists have evidence that dinosaurs existed because they found fossils, but scientists have found no fossils of God. And if anyone knows what God looks like it's scientists. If you tell an atheist that there are probably hidden fossils that humans haven't found yet, they would agree with you, believing in the existence of something they've never seen. But believing in God is crazy, because I don't see God or God's bones anywhere, do you?

[[Bad Dragon|Loving dinosaurs]] is the main reason atheists take any interest in evolution (besides wondering why they're so ugly). And evolution disproves God because the Jews didn't write about it (besides the whole mankind coming from dirt thing), [[Sarcasm|and everyone knows that Jews would never lie about anything, evar]]. Their love of dinosaurs is also the only reason atheists argue with creationists, who don't love dinosaurs as much as they do. Any idiot who thinks the Earth is 6,000 years old skipped over the best part of life on Earth: totally cool dinosaurs.

'''Fun fact''': Atheists' dinosaur fascination explains the emergence of [[Raptor Jesus]], pictures of Jesus riding a dinosaur, or writing about dinosaurs on Noah's Ark. All atheists wish every religion featured more super awesome dinosaurs. That's ''all'' they've ever wanted. Is that too much to [[Asking for it|ask]]?

== Atheists ==

[[Image:Open_minded_atheist_books.jpg|thumb|Lol jk atheists only read in 140 characters.]]
[[File:Atheistneckbeard101.jpg|thumb|A typical atheist in its natural habitat]]
[[File:Atheist borg.jpg|thumb|More atheists in their natural habitat]]
[[File:Atheistdebator.jpg|thumb|Atheists are notable for their profound intellect and deep knowledge of science, history, and philosophy.]]

[[Some Argue|Recent studies reveal]] that atheists tend to be [[White|privileged]], [[liberal|college educated]] with serious [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|superiority complexes]] who are always willing to engage in pointless debates to further inflate their [[USI|colossal egos]]. In an interesting [[Hypocrite|contradiction]], their liberal bias towards [[Islam]] conflicts with their hatred of all things religious.

Atheists are afflicted by an aggressive strain of [[unwarranted self-importance]], which causes them to vastly overestimate their intelligence compared to their more temperate peers. They must convince themselves they’re omniscient geniuses, lest they break under the revelation they’re not always right and have been making faith-based assertions.

Atheists have a mental commitment to let everyone know how much people shove religion down their throats. They are, of course, oblivious to the fact that if they can call themselves atheists, no religion has been forced upon them so far, thus they fail to realize that by following atheism in such a militant fashion, they are shoving their beliefs down everyone's throats far more than they accuse others of doing.

In fact, atheists are so fanatical that they go around foaming at the mouth for "rational" debates. Upon watching an atheist in an argument, it becomes clear that their points consist entirely of condescension, lofty moralizing, over-generalizations, and "clever" quips about their opponents' intelligence—in other words, atheists think that poorly assembled sarcasm and ad hominem attacks amount to a valid argument. They will begin by stating they only want food for thought to "improve their position"; five minutes later, they'll state that talking to their opponent is like arguing with a brick wall. The irony of this statement is consistently lost on the atheist.

They believe that some [[philosopher]] (e.g., Friedrich Nietzsche, [[Richard Dawkins]], or [[Karl Popper]]) has proven atheism. However, they will of course [[FYIAD|dismiss any philosopher that believes in God]].
The atheist argument runs thus:

# God does not exist, and this is obvious, ergo
# Anyone who believes in God is stupid, ergo
# Any arguments that God exists are invalid, ergo
# God does not exist MUDDAFUGGA

It is a known fact that every atheist on YouTube is subscribed to [[at least 100]] atheist YouTube speakers such as [[TheAmazingAtheist]] and flood all of their videos, the "Other Channels" section of their profile, and channel comments with advertisements about said speakers.

{{center|
{{frame|<youtube>2ulkFhAmE6M</youtube><center>
Atheists freaking out [[IRL]].
</center>}}
}}

=== The Church of Atheism ===

''See also: [[Reddit]]''

With the creation of atheism in 1783, the Godless parasites, lead by the virgin Richard Dawkins, created a cult known as "atheism". Much like the [[Catholic]] Church, it is organized into different sections. The [[Fap]]acy, the holy atheist Richard Dawkins, is the president of the church. He exhibits [[SysOp|omnipotent powers]], and can [[Intellectual Checkmate|banish evidence that supports intelligent design from existence]]. His Bishops, the moderators of Reddit and Encyclopedia Dramatica, control the minds of the public. Members of the church, also known as internet users, will torture you if they discover you have tarnished the shrine of Richard Dawkins in your home. Torture is mostly [[In the ass|gay sex]], because, let's face it, all atheists are atheists because they are secretly gay. Other members of the church, "scientists", also known as wizards, spend all their time creating potions to cure ailments such as free thought, even though it's evident that all problems in the world are caused by Thetans and [[witch]]es. When intellectually challenged, atheists will begin [[Fappening|masturbating violently]] and will eventually kill themselves. Atheism is a [[Circlejerk|religion]]. Why the fuck do you think all their arguments are "I don't believe god exists?"

=== Tips for Arguing if ''You're'' an Atheist ===

[[Image:Atheist_somebody_who_believes_nothing_made_everything.jpg|thumb|Friendly reminder that atheism is "common sense."]]

Does the thought of shitposting your opinion on matters that nobody cares about excite you? Do you have a superiority complex that just ''needs'' fulfilling? Are you an autistic buffoon who thinks that [[questionable logic]] used by autistic teenagers is "[[common sense]]"? Do you feel compelled to vomit any time you're in a church? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you just might be ready to begin your journey down the [[retardation|enlightment]] that is Atheism! Now, we know that suddenly becoming open minded by [[Sheeple|militantly copy/pasting whatever crackpot bullshit you read on fellow euphoric blogs]] is an exciting experience that you just can NOT wait to test drive, but we at ED offer you a few pieces of advice to fit right in with your new unwashed brethren.

* '''Use as many double standards as you can muster.''' It's a little known fact, because atheism is still unfortunately a minority, that atheists are more intellectual than their religious counterparts. That's why anything a Christfag says is worth less than your statement, because atheists are too morally, intellectually, and scientifically superior to be compared to ''[[Mundanes|other people]]'' (ewww).

* '''Use the words "scientific", "ignorant", "rational", and any of the like as often as possible.''' Christfags need to remember that what they believe is '''wrong'''. They believe in stories translated from grunts of their caveman days. That is why you, as the savior to logic and reason, must constantly spam the same buzzwords over and over again until they lose all meaning until the point where nobody can read the bible because the English language will be destroyed! It doesn't matter if these words are used incorrectly, such as applying the word "scientific" to fallicious reasoning that you make (which is preposterous, as [[lie|atheists do not post fallicious logic]], but this is hypothetical), so long as you [[brainwash|doctrine]] what ''is'' faulty logic that is "scientific" from faulty logic that ''is not'' "scientific" (AKA anything you don't agree with).

* '''Understand your opponent''' Why do we clarify Christfags? Simple process of deduction, really. Jews are too busy to waste time arguing on the interwebs, and Muslims are too angry at our Western Lifestyle to bomb our chatrooms (when they could be bombing us irl). Eastern religions will not be represented because anyone claiming to be from the east is either a [[weeaboo]] or an atheistic religion, which doesn't count, because that's not a religion, it's a philosophy (even though they believe in spiritual matters, it's still philosophy. Remember, keeping your stride is more important than being truthful).

* '''Any time a religious person does something evil it's in the name of religion.''' This is true about all conflict in the world, such as WTC. Atheism, however, does not do this, and anyone who does anything bad remotely to the cause of the eradication of religion is doing it because ''they're'' a bad person. Stalin is a good example of this. He didn't persecute religious people because they had a religion, he just wanted to make a lack of religion in his country. He can't do this for atheism, because [[hypocrite|"atheism is just a lack of religion"]].

* '''There's strength in numbers, so stick with as many atheists as you can and gang up on any Christfag you see.''' Even though you make up a minority of the world's population, let a Circlejerk be known where ever you stand with your brothers in autism far above them, because everyone knows that whoever agrees the most with the same people on his side of the debate is the one that is correct.

* '''Christfags do not read the Bible, so take as many verse from it out of context as you can and shove it in their faces.''' Because many Christfags fail to read the Bible, this will confuse the crap out of them.

* '''Point out contradictions in the Bible that aren't there.''' Because somebody took the time in MS Paint to put two Bible verses side by side, some of them are ''bound'' to be legitimate, unexplainable contradictions. 100% effective strategy because of above.

* '''Use as much testimonial as possible.''' Everyone knows that if someone smart says it, it must be true. Did that one famous scientist from 50 years ago question the concept of God during a depressing period in his life? Christianity: Dis-proven. Everyone knows that the more quotes you take from image macros and spam, the more intelligent you'll appear. In addition, many [[13 year old boys|younger people join atheism to rebel]] against their brainwashing parents, so use as much "new age" copypasta as you can!

* '''Speak first, cite later.''' The Christfag will without a doubt ''not'' read your sources, so you don't have to worry about the credibility of anything you post on the internet, especially not whenever they promote the noble cause of atheism! Why would they? [[Irony|It's not like atheists are capable of lying.]]

===Tips for arguing with atheists===
Despite what they may imply, atheists are <s>almost</s> as stupid as creationists. They have almost no knowledge of physics or cosmology outside of wikipedia. Many of them have a low enough intelligence to take the above section of this article as a serious how-to guide. After about 3 replies they will begin to deny causality and basic laws of physics. There's no hope in actually talking any sense into them as they are unimaginably arrogant. One thing that is hilariously true is that they're deluded enough to think that using the atheist [[Reddit|sub-reddit]] as their only source of information means that no evidence for God exists. There actually exists numerous arguments for god's existence:

[[File:AthiestA.PNG|thumb|Some Atheist Asshole on Yahoo playing [[Internet Tough Guy]] and claiming he can debunk every single point on here. Go ahead, '''Do it faggot.'''
 ''Note: Religion: [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/religion a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe...]'' Wow, he's [[sarcasm|off to a good start already!]]]]

*'''The Kalam Cosmological Argument.''' Guaranteed to result in either the denial of causality, or a simple "How do you know it was God?" Atheists will go out on a limb to assert that because they don't know which god they should believe in, they [[Ragequit|deny the existence of all gods.]]
*'''The Fine-tuning of the universe.''' Guaranteed to result in some tripe about the multi-verse, even though ironically enough there exists no evidence to support the multiverse. Alternatively, they will miss the point entirely by referring to the Anthropic Principle (which is a deflection tactic that tries to refer only to humans and not the universe itself) From here then go on to tell them that the Borde-Guth-Vilenkin Theorem denies the existence of a multi-verse.
:''It should be noted that when presented with the above two arguments, they will, at any time they don't have a good comeback, completely dismiss them by [[philosophy|their field]] alone, [[BAW|rather than combat them]]. They do this because [[copy and paste|they've reached]] [[Richard Dawkins|the conclusion]] that "because philosophy has no scientific evidence, all philosophy is void as evidence". Yes, they ''will'' [[hypocrite|justify their dismissal with moar philosophy.]]
*'''Baryon Asymmetry.''' They will immediately tell you this isn't evidence despite the fact that there is no cosmological model that fixes this problem without God.
*'''Violations to the Copernican Principle.''' Explain to them that because of the Ecliptic alignment of cosmic microwave background anisotropy,it basically means that the Earth is at the center of the universe.

[[Image:Schrodingers cat Wikipedo.JPG|thumb|[[Schrödinger's cat|"You either believe the cat is alive or dead. No exceptions."]]]]

When backed into a corner, or out of decent, original arguments, the atheist will play one of several trump cards and [[snark]] at you as they hope to cause the theist to roll on the ground crying in frustration. Sure enough, these arguments are tested in the comfort of [[strawman]] and [[I am silly!]] comics/rants, and thus cannot possibly [[pwn|backfire in any manner]]! What they don't realize is that several of their [[X Y is X|common offenses are common]], therefore plenty of counter-arguments have been created:

*'''"Everyone is an atheist; I just happen to believe in one less god than you do."''' A common atheist argument that asserts that since Christians believe in only one god, but none of the other countless gods worshiped over time such as Zeus or Thor, everyone is an atheist. This argument is easily dismantled by pointing out that atheism, by definition, is the universal rejection of ALL gods, not just some. Since Christians believe in a god, they cannot be atheists, making this argument invalid.
:If the above fails...
:*'''"You are either a theist or an atheist, no exception."''' This is nothing more than a cheap attempt to gain the middle ground and agnostics because atheists are subliminally aware that they're full of shit when they state that a deity doesn't exist. [[Not|Surprisingly]], the only sources outside of their ass that coincide with what they shit out are other retard atheist blogs with as much credibility as the inherited pseudo intellectual, with just as much logic (none). The atheist, in full ADHD due to a steady diet of Mountain Dew and Cheetos, assumes that everyone instantaneously forms a dedicated opinion about something as soon as it's introduced to them based entirely on personal preference. Needless to say, this approach is dangerously unscientific.
*The worst of them will try to defend their bullshit claims with "You can't prove a negative" when asked for sauce in their rants that say that God can not exist. "You can't prove a negative" is ironically [[fail|unprovable by its own grammar]], and thus should be dismissed on its own right by the atheist's favorite razor, Hitchens' (Their second favorite being the razor they use to cut themselves with while listening to [[Evanescence]] and crying that, despite their superior intellect, they cannot understand how to get laid).
*'''"Atheism is just a denial of theism, we don't have to prove anything."''' This does not excuse your average atheist from spewing copy/paste "religion is a lie" rants (ironically, stating religion is a lie is a claim, and thus needs evidence).
*'''"Occam's Razor supports atheism."''' In order for the universe without a deity to be provable, the universe must be proven to have infinite regression (which must fall to inductive reasoning, ergo, without evidence) or else be created with the help of the multiverse, which, unless the multiverse has a creation point, infinitely regresses as well in a never ending cycle of universe creation to be absolutely sure that a deity could not have created the multiverse (since Christfags love to push the boundaries of where their God resides). If the latter is the case, then what must be proven is a sort of [[Inception|multiverse within a multiverse]] and ad nauseam, or else some other factor outside of our comprehension creating something similar to a time loop (note, relying on the existence of this possible force outside of our comprehension to dismiss this flaw is a [[cop-out]] and, ironically, must be proven to exist). This is about as "simple" of a solution as tying a cat to a treadmill belt and leaving the machine active for a week to test whether or not the treadmill is safe for running.
:*'''"Atheism is the default religious stance; theists are the only ones who must prove their bullshit."''' To fully understand this argument, two clauses must be established:
::# "Atheism and agnosticism are the same concepts" ([[circlejerk|which is only "proven" by other atheists]]). This statement alone fails because rejection isn't the same process as [[transsexual|ambiguity]]. For example, if you see a fine piece of ass on a woman but her face reminds you of [[Arguecat]], it might take you a moment or two to decide if it's really worth ramming your cock into. On the other hand, if Arguecat's ass was in front of you, a "Hell no" is appropriate (unless you're a sick fuck). The former is different than the later because the thought of tapping that ass is considered and has a very real possibility of being [[buttsex|acted upon]], rather than simply walking away and deciding to [[virgin|not act]] upon the anus. In neutral agnosticism, both sides have equal consideration, and thus the claims of either aren't explicitly rejected or accepted.
[[Image:Atheist_christmas_xmas.jpg|thumb|They hate Christmas too.]]

*'''"What created God?"''' This is perhaps the most over-used trump in the atheist arsenal. However, because the atheist community is composed of self-righteous preteens with the memory of a hamster with ADHD, too many sources exist to address this. This cliche is presented by atheists who don't fully understand what the concept of God is. They will, without a doubt, create a fallacy of composition. They do not recognize that theists believe God to be the initial clause of the universe.

*'''"Studies show that Atheists are smarter."''' Because religion is found commonly in poor countries, niggers hinder the intelligence average of the religious population. Interestingly enough, there hasn't been an official, reliable study of intelligence vs. religiousness that's included the web atheist population (the world is long overdue for one, yet we can only wait until [[List of Proposed Internet-Based IRL Communities#Reddit Island|Reddit Island]] for a reliable study). Nevertheless, with all of the [[rednecks]], [[WBC]], [[niggers]], and [[creationists]], and other outliers that Christfags are associated with, the whole 3 point difference in average is very petty. One factor the atheist fails to consider, most of all, is the distribution of money with the two areas. Ergo, poorer people and countries are more likely to believe in a deity out of desperation or appreciation for tradition to stay alive, while at the same time being less educated because they don't have the money for [[ITT Tech]]. Wealthier peoples, however, can afford ITT Tech, and are less reliant on tradition because they have enough money to survive and do other things than pray to the sun for crops to be bountiful this harvest. The obvious deviant from this norm is the [[Jew]], who may be religious while still hoarding vast amounts of wealth because he or she is a greedy fuck.
*'''"Religion doesn't approve of sex."''' The atheist in this case would like the world to be looser on sexual morality and social standards because [[fact|he can't get laid]]. In any case, this is factually incorrect. While most religions have restrictions on sexuality, only a handful of fringe groups reject it entirely.
*'''"Magic sky fairies."''' Deists and pantheists (and really everyone with intelligence and maturity beyond elementary school) are unaffected by this juvenile appeal to ridicule.
*'''"You're basing your ideas off of a 2000 year old book? Have fun living in the dark ages, dumbass."''' A text''book'' example of the Genetic Fallacy. Politely inform them that [[truth|dismissing anything because of its age is to scientific reasoning what worship of "new" pop singles by Lil' Wayne and Nicki Minaj is to music appreciation]]. They will try to claim that it isn't, based on claims of "evidence" existing (this evidence will end up being the first couple results pulled from a quick google search, presented without much thought).
*'''"Can you prove God exists?"''' Use one of the above points. When confronted with this, they will undoubtedly ask a form of "how can you be sure it was God?" or try to refute the massive problems with the universe's structure that the otherwise to the above creates. Inform them of all of the "biblical prophecies" that came true (bonus points for citing actual cases). They will, at this point, [[butthurt|dismiss your entire case on no real solid reasoning]], followed by a few ad hominem attacks.

*'''"Quantum fluctuations create something from nothing so the universe was made like that too"''' Some specimens with a modicum of acquaintance with physics might use this argument to avoid denying causality and/or logic when faced with "ex nihilo nihil fit" argument. This immediately falls flat on it's face because the particles created from quantum vacuum are not being made from nothing but are borrowing energy from underlying particle/quantum fields - ie. from "something".

*'''"Prayer works proportional to the country they live in. If not, then why are there more sick people in Africa than in America?"''' Atheists who say this are probably idiots with a sense of [[America|patriotism]]. Do you know that the U.S. has a higher rate of heart disease and cancer than places in [[Africa]], not to mention the world!!!??? They don't know it because they are too fat to reach for the mouse and search.

====Hitchens' Razor====
This is the ultimate atheist tool. It's also one of the weakest arguments for a religious stance once dissected. The argument claims that extraordinary claims must have extraordinary evidence to justify it. This argument is the justification that "atheists do not have to prove anything." It's not uncommon for the atheist to try to empty themselves of the burden of proof. Once you understand it, you'll realize that over half of the atheist Facebook/Reddit macros will stem from this argument, whether they realize it or not ("You can't prove God exists"). The argument was made famous by atheist [[Christopher Hitchens]], who stole it from some people over [[100 years ago]] because he ran out of insults to call Christfags.

Several holes in the principle are presented once it's brought into the field, however.

*Employing this denies '''all''' forms of faith. The atheist wants this in order to appear smarter, but lulz can, and often do ensure whenever the Razor is used to deny the material world exists, not unlike a [[wet dream|dream]] perceived by [[you]].
:*'''Cop-out alert!''' The atheist can, if "abuse" (read as application) of the razor is presented to several claims that don't [[common sense|explicitly require evidence]] but are accepted nevertheless, the atheist may define the razor as "''Extraordinary'' claims require extraordinary evidence to prove" or some variation. Yes, many atheists really are that blind to their hypocrisy.
*The Razor can't be used to disprove anything, nor advance a claim for a stance other than agnosticism. The atheist will still leave its burden of proof that God doesn't exist unfulfilled.
*Only when the claim that God exists is presented can the razor be used since the razor is a tool of retaliation. The irony is that whenever the atheist comes into the picture and makes his usual fundimentalist thread-initiating post, it can be used to dismiss any claims the atheist makes (the atheist can't support his claim that [insert religion here] is false because he or she does not have any confirmation in his arguments regarding the stance of a deity, only cherry-picking). In fact, one could say it's a double-edged blade.

{{center|
<big>'''Arguing with an Atheist'''</big>
{{frame|<youtube>d696t3yALAY</youtube><center>
Even on this video, you will see Atheists circle
 jerking each other, thumbing each other up, and proving
 everything said above correct, to stop their crying at night.
</center>}}
}}

====Russell's Teapot====
Dependence on seeing this [[bullshit|original]] argument correlates strongly with how retarded the atheist arguing is. Unfortunately, since most atheists are mentally defunct [[britfag]] teenagers with internet access and an opinion that will SHAEK TEH WoRLD!!!, this occurs frequently. The argument's logic follows as such:
* You cannot prove God exists.
* You cannot prove that a teapot that orbits the sun in space exists (drones will substitute the teapot in space with something such as unicorns or dildo monsters).
* A teapot in space does not exist.
* Therefore, God does not exist. LOLPWNED!

However, this argument is complete bullshit.
{{quote|The argument presumes that such is not the case, so presumes what it sets out to prove, and is thus a [[circular logic|circular argument]].|[[Wikipedo|Philip Rayment]], pawning victims of Catholic molestation and making [[RationalWiki]] butthurt.}}
Once the [[copypasta|creative]] entity is removed from the equation, the whole point of the argument is a copy/paste from Hitchens' Razor.
'''Bonus challenge: disprove that the mythical comparisons made by said teenager.''' (Hint: God is not bound to the universe. Santa Claus is) Eventually, they will alter the meaning of the entity in question until it no longer resembles the original folklore, ruining the strength of the argument as they try to cop-out, with rambling along the lines of "PROVE TAT AN UNPROVIBL THING DOSNT EXST AN FELE MY PAAAIIN THAT U ASK ME 2 DO!!!".

===Ex-Christian-Atheists===
As much as [[Noone|everyone]] enjoys an atheist's company, you will feel nothing but utter [[Rage|love]] being with what can only be described as ex-Christian-Atheists. Essentially, these are just faggots who displace their rage at their church-going parents onto God. This is really not surprising. After all, how can an atheist believe in a loving God when they hate themselves? What they persistently fail to realize is that hating God means you believe in him, meaning you are, in fact, not an atheist at all, but instead a whiny [[faggot]].

More likely than not, these are the people you will see in [[Youtube|everywhere]] who cry and scream on the Internet with either [[ALLCAPS|'''THE FUCKING FURY''']] or Exclamation points, so you have to have the [[Pain Series|pleasure]] of reading it all over again.

An example of such stupidity:

* [[LOL WUT|God is a myth made up by sheep trying to control more sheep.]]
* [[13-year-old boy|It doesn't matter that I'm 13. I'm still smarter than you.]]
* [[facepalm|I haven't told my parents yet, because I'm still 27 and don't want to move out for being a genius.]]

== What causes atheism? ==

The leading cause of atheism is nobody loves you. [[Your mom]] doesn't count.

[[Image:Pizza_hut_atheist.jpg|thumb|Pizza Hut is an atheist.]]

Maybe you're [[Stephen Fry|ugly]], maybe you're [[Mountain Dew|fat]], maybe you're [[Ricky Gervais|short]], maybe you're a [[Elliot Rodger|virgin]], maybe you have [[Neckbeard|embarrassing body hair]], maybe you're a [[Christopher Hitchens|homo]], maybe you're a [[TheAmazingAtheist|ginger]], maybe you have a [[Asia|small penis]], maybe you have a [[George Carlin|ponytail]], maybe you're a [[Jew]], maybe you [[James Randi|wear glasses]], maybe you [[Nerd|suck at sports]], maybe you look like a [[Bill Nye|total dork]], maybe you live in your [[Basement dweller|mom's basement]], maybe you have a [[emo|whiny voice]], maybe you're a [[OCD|gamer]] who plays [[World of Warcraft]] or [[Dota 2]] or [[EVE Online]], maybe you listen to [[Norway|black metal]], maybe you have [[Stephen Hawking|a serious disease and are confined to a wheelchair]], maybe you were [[Richard Dawkins|molested as a child and how could God let that happen?]], maybe [[Rebecca Watson|nobody wanted to molest you as a child because you were too ugly]], maybe you were born with a [[Noam Chomsky|serious physical deformity]], maybe you watch [[animu]], maybe you played [[Magic]] or [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] or [[Dungeons & Dragons|D&D]], maybe you're a [[Jeffrey Dahmer|psychopath]] incapable of human emotion, maybe [[Lol-cow|everyone laughs at you]], maybe you collect [[Comic book fans|comic books]] or [[autistic|boardgames]] or [[webcomic]]s or piss bottles, maybe you're a [[Goth|socially retarded freak]], maybe you're a [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|burn victim]], maybe you're a [[dyke]], etc. Maybe you're one or more of the above. Each additional trait increases your chances of being bullied/being an atheist, which is inversely proportional to your chances of getting laid by the opposite sex.

Since everybody hates you and nobody will touch you because they all think you're revolting and your life is miserable and you have a giant chip on your shoulder, the only possible conclusion is that there is no God. Because if there was a God, He'd give you everything you ever wanted because you think you're a [[pretty cool guy]] and your mom said so too, yet you're also a [[Joss Whedon|megalomaniac]] who [[Comic book fans|fantasizes]] about how you'd get your revenge on the world if you ''were'' God, which videogames, fictional works, and [[school shooting]]s allow you to act out.

Most [[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|beautiful]] people believe in God, especially beautiful women. Men in general are less likely to believe in God, because most men are ugly as fuck anyway. Beautiful people have been blessed with good looks and their life is better than most. For them life is an easy effortless fun time, with little struggle, relatively speaking. Although the death of a loved one may cause them to doubt their faith, since that person is no longer around to love them, because again, atheism is caused by lack of love.

This is also why atheists tend to believe love is a mental illness, like religion, which is basically love of God. Atheists often feel love and religion are the very same mental disorder (while believers often say God is Love). Since nobody loves them, everyone around them must be crazy. Since their life is miserable, there must be no God, but [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|since they think very highly of themselves]] and see no reason why everybody hates them, they must be right and everybody else (who doesn't love them) must be wrong. And even if by some slim chance [[Shit that will never happen|someone does love them one day]], it won't make up for all the time nobody loved them, the hurt and pain won't simply be forgotten. Emotional pain leads to atheism. Cries of "Why God why?" transform into "Do something!" transform into "in this moment I am euphoric..." They turn their bitterness and nobody loving them for so long into [[Special Snowflake Syndrome|personal exceptionalism]]. Atheists might bring up science or lack of evidence, and yet gloss over the lack of evidence that anybody ever really loved them.

Why do so many ugly people believe in God? Because they don't blame God for all the bad things that happen in their life. They blame the Devil.

== Morality ==

[[Image:Personal_choice_religious_crimes.jpg|thumb|Logic is the first casualty of atheism.]]
[[Image:atheistdoublestandards.PNG|thumb|You think we were joking?]]

{{quote|Not every bad person is an atheist, but every atheist is a bad person.
|Random Anon}}

{{quote|All atheists are rude, arrogant, mysogonistic attention whoring douchebags.
|[[Bullshit|Truth]]}}

[[Image:Typical_atheist_morality_640x78.PNG|thumb|Typical atheist morality.]]
[[File:Godjesus strawman.jpg|thumb|Atheists need to be kicked out of America!]]
[[Image:Sade.jpg|thumb|An atheist intellectual.]]

Since atheists believe God does not exist, they don't [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|care]] about morality, usually stating that they prefer rationality over your primitive 'moral' ideas. This makes them amazingly easy to troll. Just ask them, "So are you saying that rationality is OBJECTIVELY BETTER than irrational morality?", then kick back and watch as the self-loathing God-hater ties himself up in knots trying to justify rationalism without morality.

Atheists are convinced that religion is the cause of all conflict and directly responsible for every war and murder that has ever occurred, when in reality it is just a source of major [[lulz]] for their more temperate kin. Atheists [[fail]] to realize that with or without religion, there will always be stupid people in the world who will [[The God Delusion|fervently believe anything they read]].

Failing to justify man-made morals, they resort to a comparative exercise. The main crux of their argument rests on body counts, but a short sample of atheist leadership data reveals a different picture:

* Mao-Tse-Tung, Atheist: [[High Score|78 million plus dead]]
* [[Joseph Stalin]], Atheist: 20 million plus dead
* [[Adolf Hitler]], Atheist: 15 million dead
* [[Vladimir Lenin]], Atheist: 5.5 million dead
* Kim-Il-Sung, Atheist: 5 million dead
* [[Pol Pot]], Atheist: 2 million dead
* [[Fidel Castro]], Atheist: 1 million dead

'''PROTIP:''' When in an encounter with an atheist and this issue comes up, simply point out that atheist dictators killed millions of people over the past century, [[Fact|and caused more death in a much shorter time span than almost any other catastrophe that has happened in the civilized world]], and murdered hundreds of thousands in an effort to eradicate religion itself, because, you know, mass murder is the inevitable result when a community becomes [[idiot|too intolerant of outlandish dogmas and too fond of critical thinking]].

The atheist, of course, will respond that "BUT DUDE STALIN DIDN'T KILL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE IN THE NAME OF ATHEISM HE KILLED THEM IN THE NAME OF COMMUNISM!!!!11", as though Communism's status as an atheistic philosophy had nothing to do with persecuting theists. It's sort of like saying "THE KKK DIDN'T LYNCH PEOPLE FOR BEING BLACK THEY LYNCHED THEM FOR NOT BEING WHITE!!!" Then ask them how many people ''did'' die in the Crusades (1-3 million, which seems hilarious against the numbers listed above). In response to this question they will attempt to shove "The God Delusion" book up their own urethra.

{{quote|To punish the oppressors of humanity is clemency; to forgive them is barbarity.
|[[Wikipedia:Maximilien Robespierre|Maximilian Robespierre]], 1794 - How atheism would eliminate violence & achieve world peace.|color=silver|size=360%}}

{{quote|Christianity is potentially one of the biggest problems facing society.
|[[Adolf Hitler]] ([[Not gay|Not a Christian]])|color=silver|size=360%}}

Much like a teenager takes up smoking or a standup comedian takes up heroin because they think it makes them look cool, an atheist dives into depravity because they think it makes them look edgy. This atheist drive to seem cool typically stems from being picked on which is why they don't believe in God in the first place. By living in sin, an atheist feels they are getting revenge on the deluded sheep around them, and they can pride themselves that they are a freethinker unburdened by superstitious notions of evil or sin, and that their brain has reached an advanced state of atheism just like a cockroach, until of course entropy sets in. Atheism reaffirms their sociopathy and misanthropy which was driven into them by bullies because they are probably ugly. Of course, many atheists will claim to be humanists, which is the same as thinking that God created man to rule the world and all of its creatures, like it says in the Book of Genesis. That's why Jews can switch to atheism and "secular humanism" so quickly (besides the fact that they worship money, and nailed Jesus to a cross).

== ''The God Delusion'': Richard Dawkins and hypocrisy ==

In 2006 our lord and savior [[Richard Dawkins]] released a book that is probably the atheistic form of the Bible. Because it is completely filled with unwarranted self importance, arrogance and unsupported claims it is difficult to truly understand it's meaning. Most scientists agree that Richard Dawkins is a shape shifting reptile from a parallel universe and his books were a result of randomly copying and pasting excerpts from the Wikipedia page on atheism.

In his book, he uses something he's deluded enough to think is evidence and thinks that using big words will immediately make any Christian convert to atheism in fear of being called stupid. Some of these "arguments" includes:

* Albert Jewstein wasn't a Christian. Ergo God doesn't exist.
* I once heard a noise that could be misinterpreted as a ghost. Ergo God does not exist.
* I copy and pasted "proof" that God doesn't exist from Wikipedia. Ergo God does not exist.
* My friend rejected Judaism. Ergo God does not exist.
* Evolution. Ergo God does not exist.
* It is theoretically possible for an atheist to not kill other people and become an hero. Ergo God does not exist.
* Although I don't understand many aspects of theology, I don't like it. Ergo God does not exist.
* I don't want the fine tuning of the universe to be evidence of the existence of god. Ergo God does not exist.
* If God existed he would fucking tell me personally. Ergo God does not exist.

The rest of the book is Dawking ranting that atheism is evidence of a healthy, questioning mind. However, almost all atheists will use arguments in this book. This enforces Dawking's hypocrisy of criticizing theists for having faith. Although he wouldn't be caught dead having faith, he has no problems making assumptions as long as he mentions the word "science".

It should be mentioned that amongst professionals in religious AND atheist philosophy circles, [[fail|this book mocked in the rare moments which it’s actually mentioned]]. It’s not even funny. You would think that the atheists are at least sympathetic but no, they think it’s just as shitty as anyone else thinks of it. Then again, what did anyone expect? A biologist writes a book on a subject he has no training or expertise in, let alone philosophy, history or all the other subjects he speaks of. Were we to expect a gem?

When invited to engage in intellectual arguments with people who weren't arrogant cunts, Dawkins admitted that God probably does exist. He is fucking stupid.

== Sexuality ==

[[Image:atheistsex.jpg|thumb|150px|Of course, under normal circumstances there isn't a [[woman]] underneath them.]]
[[File:Atheistconfession.jpg|thumb|150px|[[Truth]]]]

===Males===

Even [[Catholic]] priests [[shota|get more]] than the typical atheist. This results in the atheist having to take [[almost raped|an alternate sociological path]] to survive, as no normal woman wants to find themselves naked in the same room as [[TheAmazingAtheist|a neckbearded Yeti who thinks it knows everything]].

Not that the 'forced abstinence' of atheists should come as any surprise. Hell, their whole philosophy comes down to [[BAWWW|'BUT IF THERE WAS A GOD THEN I'D GET LAID SOMETIMES!!11']]

===[[Wimmins]]===
The sad truth is that the population of atheists (ignoring the expanded meanings to include agnostics) is [[cancer|unfortunately on the rise]] just like most other demographics of the world's population. Given that the males of this population are forever alone losers who get less than [[Brian Peppers]], the question of how these people reproduce quickly is brought into question.
Enter the atheist female.

Given that atheists have no morals, there is nothing stopping the cum dumpster from taking in five cocks at once. [[Truth|Atheist women are either hardcore sluts or batshit insane bbw feminists.]] Either path guarantees at least a dozen cocks inside of the woman, the former from any cocaine-powered nigger and the latter from ugly beta losers who cry shortly afterwards. Atheist feminist pride is no different than [[girl gamer]] pride; both ideals are held by women who need to use their mouths for better uses such as blowjobs. The children, in turn, turn into anti-theists due to the parents' nature consisting of whiny delusion and liberal finger-pointing (if there was a God, he would pay for my 10000 [[Yu Gi Oh]] cards!) If you ever encounter this type of roving animal, avoid engagement. If you try to point out the slutty nature of the demographic, you will be met with "but athiest girlz ''are'' able to not be complete sluts, therefore we aren't sluts!" This is the equivalent to stating that "because black people may exist ''without'' being racist, all niggers aren't racist!" The Zimmerman riots proved that niggers are racist. At this point, the bbw will either try to justify that because she can't get any action (due to either being excessively ugly or having specific standards of what a slut is, such as "Sluts take 25 cocks a week. I only take 23, therefore I'm not a slut") that what you say is an "obvious lie", or rant about sexual limitations of religion. At this point, any methods for handling this speci(wo)men follow any standard procedures for dealing with feminism.

==Why do people hate atheists?==
[[File:AverageAtheist.png|thumb|400px|Atheists are not exactly known for being articulate]]
[[Image:Atheists_worship.jpg|thumb|Tell me again about atheist civilization.]]
The honest answer to this question depends on who you ask. Atheists will answer you by adopting a victim complex, that they are just making everyone uncomfortable with their beliefs and are soon on the verge of converting the masses, and that the religious people can not simply accept their scientific and truthful ways.

In reality, atheists are the scum of the Earth for multiple reasons, such as upholding a constant lack of personal hygiene, constantly proclaiming that they are smarter than most of the world (when in reality, save for a few outliers [http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psyched/201205/does-autism-lead-atheism most atheists are autistic retards]). The biggest reason that atheists are hated? '''Atheists are the equivalent to niggers, faggots and crackass pinkys pales in the civilized world''':

* They are often extremely arrogant and have massive egos bordering on narcissism.
* They constantly whine about how every other group is oppressing them
* They whine about "their people" being subjected to torture/slavery decades (or in the atheists' case, '''centuries''') ago despite the fact that the harshest thing that's ever happened to them is to get off the couch to get more hand lotion
* They point out how whiny Christians who cry "persecution" because they can't teach creationism in public schools don't know what persecution is - but think they're persecuted because "in God we trust" is on their money, or that they saw a cross-shaped tombstone in a public cemetery. Hypocrites.
* They have few morals (atheists will argue against this, but the same study linked proves that most atheists only care about liberty-related morals)
* Liberals love to glorify and victimize them.
* They adopt an aggressive hive mind whenever one of their fellow drones is attacked
* Monkey howling in the face of "the man"? Instant hero. "The man" suggests that you're acting retarded? UN-GOD DAMN IT WHY DO YOU RETARDED ASSHATS KEEP OPPRESSING ME I HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND YOU CANT TAKE THAT AWAY THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT TYRANTS LIKE U!
* They constantly whine about modern oppression, while ironically spouting more bigotry than they claim to receive.

==The next wave of the Atheist Agenda==
Ever since its rise by bitter male teenagers and wallowing on internet forums into the early 2000s, the Atheist agenda will not ever end. To help combat the rise of human stupidity born out of getting high off of the conquests of man and hubris like jenkem, we encourage all who have information on anything new in the Atheist community that dares to spread its infestive fuckery like a newborn plague of dipshit unwarranted self importance to share here for great lulz. The witch hunts of Europe were unwarranted, and Christianity may have a lot of IOUs to the Karmic Buttfuck of Divine Retribution Department, but Atheism has already instigated enough lulz, evils, and bloodshed to warrant its own inquisitions and headhunts.

==Sects==

===Similar to atheism===

====Anti-Theism====

An anti-theist is an emotionally-unstable person who will go into screaming rage about the evils of any religion because the other choir boys didn't try to rape him, thus leaving him with an acute inferiority complex. An atheist is more or less the same thing, but instead of 'I didn't get to fuck the hottest girl in school!' it's 'why didn't God stop me from getting my head slammed in a locker!?' Of the different breeds of atheist, this type is by far the most painful to be around. Richard Dawkins and most of atheism's other "pastors," fall into this category.
[[File:Makeatheismgreatagain.png|600px|thumb|center|Atheism was never great.]]

====[[Nihilism]]====
[[Image:Nihilism_1.jpg|thumb|This is Nihilism, but atheists don't believe in that either.]]
Nihilism is the philosophical doctrine suggesting that [[divide by zero|values do not exist]] but rather are falsely invented. Frequently cited by [[Dumbass|deep thinkers]] and [[Dumbass|faux-Nietzschean assmunches]] who never moved out of their parent's basement. As well as being stupid, this is extremely sociologically dangerous. Atheists tread narrow paths bordering on this mindset, and like much of what we have provided it's the main reason why you'd avoid this shit if you know what's good for you.

====Friendliness====
Unfortunately for these quasi-atheists, pro-theist atheists (better known as weak atheists, but that seems a bit redundant) are also the target of atheists - because anyone who supports religion in any way i.e. "believing in belief", going to a church funeral or wedding, or donating to a religious charity will be [[The Law of Conformity|savagely ripped apart by their fellow atheists for being a Christ enabler and denounced as traitors.]]

====[[Social Justice|SJW]]====

On the surface, a SJW is just your typical raging Tumbltard feminist. On closer inspection, we see a creature that lives and acts in the exact same manner as atheists, effectively swapping its "religion" for screaming about rape culture and patriarchy. There's a significant overlap between these two groups because of [[Atheism+]], and it shows! SJWs are usually fat, ugly, whiny loud retards who find ways to victimize themselves.

Because both beliefs are founded on evidence-less bullshit, shit-flinging any opposition is the creatures' primary defense mechanism ("Stupid sheeple irrational moron!", "Stupid oppressive misogynistic cis scum!"). This creates an opening for the creature to insert its own generalizations of the other party if namecalling fails them ("Fuck you, religious people like you oppress people every day! Just look at Islam!"/"Fuck you, men oppress people every day! Just look at [[GamerGate]]"). When their bullshit accusations are used in [[hypocrite|turnabout]], they'll resort to one of three things, they'll either (1) make their accusations more extreme ("Religion is responsible for all of the wars ever fought!"/"Men are responsible for all of the wars ever fought!"), (2) try to redefine or brush their "weaker members" under the rug to save face, completely oblivious to the irony ("So what if some atheists are bad? Atheism is just the lack of theism, so there's a lot of people in that group! Are you saying all atheists are bad because of a minority?"/"So what if some feminists are bad? Feminism is just the belief in gender equality, so there's a lot of secret feminists out there! Are you saying all feminists are bad because of a minority!"), or (3) challenge you to debate every single point on some bullshit list of "proofs" that they found off of google/tumblr, without verifying its authenticity (also known as Gish Gallop).

Because of the overlap, the two groups behave in almost the exact same ways. The difference is that SJWs are smart enough to gang up on and harass people irl, while Atheists nowadays just stick to their own little flame wars for e-points.

==='''Not''' atheism===

====[[Agnosticism]]====
[[Image:Agnostic_god.JPG|thumb|100px|[[????]]]]
Agnostics are known for 'not knowing' and are generally regarded as pussies by both [[Christians]] and atheists for [[I Dunno LOL|not making up their minds]]. They are the few people on the planet honest enough to admit that they don't know shit.

====Deists====
Another word for [[agnosticism]]. A deist is someone who believes [[girlvinyl|a God did create the universe but got too bored and promptly fucked off]]. Technically they are monotheists just like [[Christians]] and [[Muslims]] but live like atheists since the god they believe in doesn't give a shit about what they get up to.

Most famous historical atheists call themselves deists, as calling themselves "atheists" would have resulted burning at the stake followed by [[DINE IN HELL|reservation seating in hell]].

==== Apatheists ====

Apatheists are atheists, agnostics, deists, whateverists who simply don't care about religion, god, or anything related to the two. They don't make a scene and don't start arguments, unlike your token atheist. In other words, how it should be. This breed is unfortunately scarce to the point of many believing them to be a myth altogether.

==== Ietsism ====

Aka. "somethingism". These people may believe in God, gods, universal life force, Heaven, Hell, Xenu, Souls or something else entirely. Whilst agnostics are generally indecisive fence-sitters, ietsists are confused as while they believe in [[It is a mystery|something]], no one (not least themselves) actually know what it is.

== Atheism vs. Irony ==

[[Image:Skepticism_authenticity_atheism.jpg|thumb|What could possibly be untrustworthy about compulsive lying trolls?]]
{{quote|LOL! Christfags are such bigoted, childish morons!|Pre-2014 atheists}}
{{quote|S-Stop calling us ugly, arrogant neckbeards! D-Do you have nothing better to say than namecalling!?|2014+ atheists}}
[[image:Alenonimogoestohell.png|thumb|left|Alenonimo goes to Hell]]

*Atheists will vehemently profess how evil and fanatical [[Christians]] are, all while completely oblivious to the fact that they themselves are fervent zealots waging their own brand of holy war in the process.
*Atheists will quote ''The God Delusion'' to avoid thinking of their own arguments, while mocking Christians for quoting the Bible in the same way.
*They claim to only accept claims that are justified through evidence, yet have no problem unquestioningly believing everything said by showman [[Ben Stiller|Sam Harris]], reddit, or simple image macros
*Constantly quote Nietzsche's '''"God Is Dead"'''. Never mind that he was talking about slave morality rather than the actual entity.
*Atheists worry that the "Under God" portion of the Pledge of Allegiance is subtly brainwashing people, yet spend the time and energy putting up billboards and other monuments to try to brainwash people into not believing in God
*Atheists will go into another soapbox speech when they are compared to dictators or other extremists.
*In their desperation to deny religion or belief of any sort, atheists will adopt skepticism so extreme that they'll refuse to state whether they're conscious or not.
*Often dwell on religion and religious texts more than theists.
*Contrary to the above, they claim to understand religion more than the religious, yet constantly take quotes from whatever text they're attacking out of context.
*They claim to be "free thinkers", but they often fall victim to more bullshit than they're proud to admit.
*Occasionally you'll find an agnostic-atheist who justifies his beliefs at "we'll never know". Despite not knowing shit, this breed of fuck will condemn you for taking a guess at the origins of the universe. No matter how much philosophical or scientific thinking you base to your conclusion, you'll always be "wrong" to them because ''they'' don't know shit (I don't know, so you don't know either).
*The Crusades were proof that religion is evil, yet Stalin and Hitler's purging of religion in their governed lands doesn't prove that atheism is evil.'

{{squote|I laugh when I hear black people talking about oppression, when gay people talk about homophobia. I laugh straight into their faces when feminists talk about sexism. I bust a gut laughing when transgender people talk about their discrimination. I cry tears of hilarity in front of their stupid faces. Until you are an atheist you have no right to talk about oppression so shut the fuck up.|A typical atheist position. Notice the extreme self-pity and lack of self-awareness.}}

==Miscellaneous Facts About Atheists==
[[File:AMAZING RETARDED ATHIEST.jpg|thumb|280px|Atheists are very sensitive and go ballistic at the slightest mention of religion.]]
[[File:atheismreligion.jpg|thumb|280px|What a real argument between theists and atheists is like]]
[[File:61456 450908154972111 1935007035 n.jpg|thumb|Dr. [[William Lane Craig]] has a lot of experience dealing with atheists.]]
* [[Ice niggers|Most atheists are white, autistic teenagers with access to the internet]].
* Atheism is to religion what [[Mac]]s are to PCs: a trendy subculture for Vegans and unemployed weed-smoking losers.
* [[Nigger]]s can't be atheists [[IRL]] due to class restrictions.
* If you were born a Jew and converted to Atheism, you are still a Jew. You also still did [[9/11]].
* They have the ability to grow [[neckbeard]]s at an accelerated rate.
* Atheists get their limited knowledge of the Bible by only searching "Bible contradictions" on [[Google]].
* When backed into a corner or otherwise called on their bullshit, Atheists will typically scoff at you and tell you to [[read a book]].
* They believe in evolution, thus they believe themselves to be hyper-evolved niggers that crawled out of the ocean.
*The few women who actually call themselves Atheists are fat. Really, really fucking fat.
*Atheists are completely without morality and treat the rest of humanity like shit, while accusing theists of the same thing. When called out on this, they will invariably justify their self-serving behavior by crying about religious persecution.
*Atheists claim that atheism is the default religion from birth. This is masked as an attempt to invoke some form of false valor against the "oppression"
*Atheists are known to rage when they die on [[runescape]] or any online game, be sure to back away from your computer when this happens.
*All atheists hate themselves, just google famous atheists and what they said about other atheists.
*Atheists due to lack of a life are in most corners of the internet waiting to insult religion to vent their self-hatred.
*Atheists are so desperate to propagate their message that even spam the talk page of this very article.
*Atheists love to blank this article, which is essentially the online form of their only argument (I.E: [[SHUT UP UR DUMB).
*Atheists are much like homosexuals, while homosexuals will claim every attractive male actor in Hollywood is a closeted homosexual, atheists will claim that nearly all people of scientific or historical importance were secretly atheists, despite multiple published works and statements to the contrary.
*They frequently pay tribute to our monkey ancestors by shoving bananas up their ass.

[[File:Hashtagactivism.jpg|thumb|The modern atheist scholar.]]

==The Atheist Impossibles==
''"Blind pupils. -- As long as a man knows very well the strength and weaknesses of his teaching, his art, his religion, its power is still slight. The pupil and apostle who, blinded by the authority of the master and by the piety he feels toward him, pays no attention to the weaknesses of a teaching, a religion, and soon usually has for that reason more power than the master. The influence of a man has never yet grown great without his blind pupils. To help a perception to achieve victory often means merely to unite it with stupidity so intimately that the weight of the latter also enforces the victory of the former."'' 
-[[Nietzsche]], an atheist impossible, himself a victim of atheist fanatics.

''"Bring orn the nukes!"'' 
-[[Brett Keane]], proposing a rational solution to the Atheist Question.

*[[TheAmazingAtheist]] - The myth: he is the miraculous lovechild of Friedrich Nietzsche and Tyler Durden. The reality: he is the exact opposite. Devolved into a cultural marxist who is the proud creator of a furry vore comic, and fetishizes trannies.
*[[thunderf00t]] - The emperor with no clothes. The Son of the Atheist Trinity. Has he mentioned that he hates Elon Musk?
*[[Cum_dumpster|Laci Green]] - The <s>innocent</s> hedonist. Abandoned her cringey feminist principles to suck [[alt right]] cock, because that's where the money's at.
*[[MrRepzion]] - TheAmazingAtheist's formerly Christian [[Faggot|buttbuddy]], he solicits [[Pr0n|nudes]] from [[Jailbait|under-aged girls]] and tells his fan to [[An Hero|kill themselves]] in his honor.
*That Guy T - A rare specimen of that mysterious species known as the nigger conservative.
*[[Sargon of Akkad]] - An "edgy" [[Jew]] who touts mainstream politics. Replaced [[conservatism|Rush Limbaugh]] as the number one talk show host of the American people.
*[[SJW|Paul Joseph Watson]] - The [[buttsex|eromenos]] of none other than [[Alex Jones]] himself. Currently spends time tearing leftoids a new one on twatter and jewtube.
*[[Irish|Computing Forever]] - Knows little about computers and even less about critical thought. Used to bash cultural marxism in entertainment, but now devotes most of his time exposing the Kung-Flu agenda.
*[[MILO|Milo Yiannopoblackcockintheasspolis]] - Literally [[Catholic|not an actual atheist]] but it's fine since he hates the social justice [[Jews]] so much. Has defended [[pedophiles]] on more than one occasion. Loves [[Michael Jackson|molesting little boys]] and taking big [[black]] cock up the ass. Claims to be an ex-faggot.
*[[Shoe0nhead]] - A ditzy whore who slutted up the atheist food chain when she was a [[16 year old girl]]. Abandoned her anti-SJW phase, and is now a leftoid.
*[[Armored Skeptic]] - Atheist asshole lite. Fucks Shoe0nhead when not making dull and mediocre YouTube videos.
*ZOMGitsCriss - Broke Romanian prostitute who sucked Laurence Krauss' dick to go to conferences.
*XPD - Ex pastor Dan at exchristian.net. Whiny cunt full or unwarranted self-importance. Also has a tiny cock. Is known to cry about his mommy issues.
*FactVsReligion - thunderf00t’s joint.
*xxxThePeachxxx - A [[nigger|mulatto]] skank who played crack addict Richard Coughlan for all he was worth.
*[[Muslim|Pat Condell]] - A stealth jihadist. The Father of the Atheist Trinity.
*[[dyke|BionicDance]] - A two trick pony: 1) "RELIGION BAD! ATHEIST SMASH!" 2) "Yes, all babies are atheists!" But, you know, don't run on automatic...
*[[Trap|Zinnia Jones]] - Somehow, he is both an ugly tranny freak and a boring square loser. Considers shoving enormous objects into his ass a career.
*DarkMatter2525 - Not Gilray, but not [[retard|Bill Maher]] either. A descendant of both nonetheless.
*GrapplingIgnorance - A wannabe preacher who lives in a hoodie.
*stefbot - A barbaric piece of natural filth holding sway under the holiest of names. Replaced the [[Amazing Atheist]] as the Holy Ghost of the Atheist Trinity.
*fringeelements - A Nazi twink who is one-sixteenth black, therefore [[irony|making him a nigger]]. Like with dogs, the smaller the more nasty.
*intergralmath - Another sheep pretending to be a shepherd.
*Snakepliskinist - Reason's weasel.
*[[butthurt|RockingMrE]] - "How dare you slander me and strawman my arguments with broad generalizations, you mangina, Cultural Marxist, Stalinist, feminazi, fascist, statist, white knight, man-hating, leftist, nihilist, beta, cuck, soy boy, pro-Spengler, virtue-signaling, passive aggressive prick!"
*[[CultOfDusty|Dusty Smith]] - A loud, stupid, and obnoxious hick. Truly the people's atheist.
*Tooltime9901 - Like [[Socrates]], an ugly hippie.
*Bill Maher - A dated limp punchline. Still thinks being an atheist is edgy.
*TheThinkingAtheist - Sloganeer, sponsor, host, cartoonist, executive, propagandist. But thinker?
*ProfM(E)TH - Editor who thinks he is a scholar.
*Edward Current - A clown who knows he is a clown.
*TheLivingDinosaur - A thesaurus makes one a genius. A thesaurus of images gives one an Oscar.
*[[FakeSagan]] - TJ's shadow.
*[[Coughlan666]] - A dirty, ugly, degenerate crack baby that became a heroin addict. The perfect face of liberalism, really.
*[[Richard Dawkins]] - "I am against philosophy because it teaches me not to be satisfied in my understanding of the world."
*[[Rebecca Watson]] - Denies God because she wanted to be raped by Him, but wasn't.
*Sam Harris - "“At that point Hunter Biden literally could have had the corpses of children in his basement, I would not have cared."
*brettppalmer - A wannabe scholar who doesn't know what a lexicon is.
*Immendham - A cave-dwelling troll who has nothing better to do than argue about antinatalism in 500+ YouTube videos. One of the few atheists who genuinely likes women, confirming he is one of the few atheists who isn't a total [[faggot]].
*NonStampCollector - Can't draw for shit.
*Crazypills2 - gets his knowledge of the Bible from ''Sunday School for Dummies''.
*Matt Dillahunty - phony scholar and occasional girly man.
*John Loftus - demands his own [[wikipedia]] article.
*[[Brett_Keane]] - Low life scum that blames his own belief system for his problems. Properly the worst of all atheists, because he kept changing his beliefs and acted retarded when everyone came crashing down on him for his [[e-begging]] and [[trolling]]. And he believes he's the ultimate voice of Atheism, until he became a Christian again.
*Jenny McDermott - Crack whore, drunk, drama queen, this [[domestic violence|damaged abused woman]] inflames every other atheist with rage and [[butthurt]] whenever she makes a YouTube video. This even includes atheist feminists as she hates [[trannies]] and doesn't want them raping her in women's bathrooms.
*Miri Mogilevsky - A [[kike]] [[redundant|feminist]] who infects everyone around her with her kike feminist bullshit. She should [[an hero|go kill herself]]. Go to [[FreeThought Blogs]] for more details on her and her slacktivist comrades.
*Sean <s>and Jen</s> - A talking skull on a mission to take back the skull icon from atheist losers, one pedantic YouTube video at a time.
*NoelPlum - A squeamish passive-aggressive coward who pretends to be the rational man in the middle. He isn't.
*Agent of Doubt - Another big fat turd of a human being. Pretends to be an objective man in the middle but is really an opportunistic cunt.
*[[Kristi Winters]] - A smug hypocritical "academic" [[feminist]], she wastes her time making "academic" videos on YouTube, expecting the mass of imbeciles who lurk there to understand her.
*[[Tranny | Contrapoints]] - ([[Powerword]]: Natalie Wynn Parrott/William Nicholas Parrot) A cultural marxist and degenerate before and after he became a troid. Is famous for putting style over substance, and does a better job at *appearing* intelligent than many of his peers. With the help of MSM signal-boosting, he has corrupted millions of [[retarded|impressionable]] people, doing permanent and widespread damage to society. There’s at least some lulz to had- on multiple occasions, [[irony|portions of his fanbase have tried to cancel this faggot for not being as psychotic and retarded as they are]]. Also alleged to have ‘de radicalized’ many right wingers, but [[fact|it’s likely MSM astroturfing because no ‘right-winger’ who becomes a leftoid tranny after seeing some Contrapoints vids was ever right wing to begin with]].
*SJW101, the political gamer - Because George Orwell was an armchair activist who played video games.
*Steve Shives - BLOCKED
*[[Destiny]] - A pedophile who pwns his fellow scum atheists by asking basic questions needed in critical thinking, easily shooting down their [[alt right|reactionary]] [[propaganda|talking points]]. Has lukewarm liberal views, which ironically makes him the edgiest atheist on YouTube.

==The Atheist Impossibles Part 2, Rise of the [[Furries]]==
[[File:Chimpanzeeprofile.jpg|thumb|Profile: A member of the "skeptic" community.]]
[[File:Liberalhorseshoetheory.jpg|thumb|The full intellectual diversity of the "skeptic" community.]]

Somewhere down the line the <s>four</s> three cult leaders of atheism; Dawkins, Harris, Dennett - [[Christopher_Hitchens|Hitchens]] is burning in Hell right now - decided to convert animals to atheism and open a petting zoo. Thus they gave the animals a safe space to throw shit at each other, if not kill each other on the spot, while humanity laughs at them. Beware of these subhuman scum. They are wild, dangerous animals and should not approached closer than 500 yards. Unless you're here to troll them. Then kick away at the hornets nest!

*Teal Deer - Boring, pedantic, pseudo-intellectual faggot mule deer.
*Atheism Is Unstoppable - A [[wigger]] eastern grey kangaroo who [[Disney|Percival McLeach]] should have poached and skinned a long time ago. Notorious for getting his followers to dox his opponents for him.
*[[fascist|Black Pigeon Speaks]] - Shits all over the chessboard, then declares victory.
*Bearing - a big, brown, annoying grizzly bear who lives in [[Ausfalia]] for some reason. Notorious for doxing other people and then claiming his freedom of speech was violated.
*[[Happy Cabbie]] - The manbeast that ate himself to death.
*NapalmTheUsurper - Another obese screaming ogre, but is a leftist who lives in the Deep South. No wonder he has no friends.
*Turd-Flinging Monkey - A common chimpanzee whose sole purpose in life is to spam the Internet with his shitty "thoughts".
*Bewildered Ape - A common chimpanzee who lives to troll all the other animals. A somewhat educated primate, his doctoral dissertation on feminism and the sex industry can be examined [https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph580fe9f69a5db here].
*[[Poe|Logical Llama]] - An alpaca [[SJW]] parody created to troll the "rational community". You know your "movement" is horseshit when even SJWs look better than you.
*[[Poe|Skeptical Squirrel]] - A ground squirrel that looks more like a chipmunk. Another SJW parody who makes the "skeptic community" look bad, which is easier than taking a shit after eating too many [[Sonic the Hedgehog|chilly dogs]].
*Warcorpse666 - Otherwise known as an [http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/486/021/e98.png American bear].
*Maoist Rebel News - American bear who went communist and has a hard on for [[chinks]]. Is a noted [[retard|expert]] on "Marxist revolutionary science" and [[Fallout]] video games.
*[[David Sherratt]], aka Spinosauruskin - An autistic spinosaurus that should have gone extinct 65 million years ago.
*Grizzly MGTOW - Another antifeminist grizzly bear. Won't a [[conservative]] gun-toting lunatic please kill these animals already!
*Realistic Owl - A northern white-faced owl with the brains of a black pigeon.
*Kevin Logan - An Irish potato that could easily be mistaken for a hairy man beast. His only friend and sexual partner in life is an orange tabby cat with a goofy fake French accent.
*The Wooly Bumblebee - An early bumblebee dumb enough to associate herself with [[MRA|MRAs]] and other [[virgin|incels]]. Naturally, she got pwned and raped by said incels. Really hates it when people make fun of her [[autistic]] children.
*Foxy the Wary Fox - A boring red fox who makes long, boring YouTube videos.
*Thinking Ape - Enough with the fucking chimps already!
*Anubis2814 - An [[Egyptian]] [[furry]] god and atheist [[oldfag]].
*[[Creationist|Creationist Cat]] - A tricolored white house cat that mocks furry atheists.

[[File:Regeneratedman.jpg|thumb|Leaving one God to embrace another.]]

== Atheist Quotes ==

[[Image:Atheistbaw.gif|thumb|Standard atheist's response to this article]]

Just try to correct them on something and prepare to be blasted away with some SERIOUS FUCKING LOGIC!

{{center|
{{morphquote|AQ1|background-color:white;width:85%;|font-weight: bold;
|Get off the fence faggot. You're just scared of making a decision; faith or facts.
|Atheist responding to an agnostic

|If you choose to ignore logic and knowledge in order to believe in an invisible magic man in the sky, or Santa Claus for that matter, you've made a ridiculous decision and we're not going to pretend it's "just another way of looking at things."
|American Atheist, trying to make people proud of themselves

|There are two types of men in this world. Intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence.
|Denial at its finest

|It should be noted that agnostics deserve very patronizing attitude, because they rarely understand what their position entails and come up with bullshit like "it's between theism and atheism".
|A double standard of "us vs. them"

|After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands.
|Consider taking a shower as well, stinky

|What still gets me to this day is the bullshit claims that modern science was only possible because of Christianity. That the Christian world-view is the only way you can have modern science. Holy shit, that really pisses me off.
|RAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG

|Atheism is the default position. Any other belief just proves you're a tool who has no individuality from the sweeping historical force that is organized religion.
|A tool that enjoys calling others tools

|Sit on some more fences you indecisive bell end
|Atheist, referring to an agnostic

|Underage pseudointellectual Christian who thinks he's intelligent in spite of being lied to his whole life. Man people like you piss me off.
|Atheist, referring to someone who didn't actually indicate what his belief was. Also, irony.

|Atheists don't have to prove '''anything'''. Period.
|An atheist proving his point

|I feel very attached to the idea of atheism, that we are free to do whatever we want. (Not that my parents buy into that) And there is no proof there is a god, so HA!!
|...because I am god! HA!!

|...herd those goons into labs and perform experiments on them instead of on the animals. Wouldn't that solve the whole problem? No animals will be harmed, and this will be a good way to remove some anti-science goons from the gene pool. A whole new generation of lab rats will be born!"
|[http://www.evolvedrational.com/2008/04/solution-anti-animal-testing-goons.html Evolved Rational], Nazi sympathizer

|Well, fuck off and shove a brick up your ass, because who ever gave you the right to speak for me and for all the other non-appeaser atheists?
|[http://www.evolvedrational.com/2008/04/spineless-appeasers-or-closet-theistard.html Crackpot science-worshiping atheist]

|HAWHAWHAR YOU BELIEVE IN A GOD THAT DOESN'T EXIST!!! Well, see you at school.
|School is the atheist version of church

|In atheism we give you a blank slate to write your own life. I wrote mine in my dads basement with YouTube videos that aren't doing shit.
|[[TheAmazingAtheist]]

|If it takes a group to make you strong, not only does that make you cowardly, it means you are weak,
|A proud atheist unintentionally talking about every atheist community evar.

|"Not that x-tians care, since Hitler was the christian poster boy anyway. Atheism is not criticism, it is logic. Christianity is criticism, of everything that doesn't fit into its stupid little niche of stupidity.
|LOL, Atheism is also niche of stupidity

|this is a true symbol of the new church here in europe...good that I'm atheistical.
|[http://kuksi.deviantart.com/art/Churchtank-Type-4-28392621?offset=25 tArtlatheist]

|[[BAWWW|"IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CHRISTIANS PUSHING THEIR BELIEFS ON ME]], i mean every year i go to buy something at the store and I see HAPPY HOLLIDAYS and it pisses me off so much i mean Christians are everywhere i mean its like UHHGGGGG but anyway this year its gonna be different. i just got [[retard|down]] purchasing my ANTI-god pin. im going to every place where they sell christmas trees and all the 'happy' (yeah more like BRAINWASHED) familys will see my anti-god pin and i will silently protest this stupid holliday yeah go atheists!"
|Sticking it to God

|So...you "respect my belief, or lack of any"? Well...that's very nice...but it is a red flag that screams out intellectual shallowness and lack of critical-thinking skills.
|A pseudo-intellectual trying to manipulate logic

|I do not respect your beliefs. I think they're stupid...therefore, it would be stupid to 'respect' them. That logic is really not that difficult. However...I DO respect your inherent right to delude yourself in any manner that you deem fit...provided that you do not attempt to impose those beliefs upon me and my family, our schools, our public institutions and our government."
|An atheist ''almost'' gets it right

|polls are useless. How about taking religious morons out , and IQ level, why ask idiots anything? I am pro-choice in my attitude but pro life personally. I would never have any of my offspring culled, but if you want go ahead. Odds are your kids will be as fucked and stupid as you are anyhow. But to force people to raise an unwanted child is negative all 'round. you never hear these self righteous zealots offering to take the could be abortions and raising them as their own.
|Avoiding responsibility for creating life

|Religious people are holding all of humanity back because their "faith" actively hurts things like stem-cell research, abortion, artistic expression, and even the motherfucking space program. I [[suicide|don't want to be part of this species]] when an alien species arrives and at least half the world screams some form of "YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN-UHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
|Actually, faith encourages humility and thus is the core of humanity, dumbass

|Atheists, the more intelligent ones can better quote (and understand) the bible than most christians. It makes it easier to disprove the source material when ones knows it. I mean, if you really think about it, the god of the old testament was a ball breaking bastard, but he loves you and wants to save you from hell? Sure. Whatev.The bible, god, and all that has to do with religion should be throw out with santa claus and the easter bunny, because it's another fairy tale designed to give comfort to those who are afraid of the dark. Sadly, most adults haven't grown up to think for themselves.
|The [[Talk:Atheist|talk page]] of this very article.}}
}}
{{clear}}

Fun fact: Notice that the aforementioned quotes don't fall under the definition of logic, but under phiLOLsophy, a branch of thought that is [http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/05/philosophy-is-not-a-science/?_r=0 deemed non-scientific by other more intelligent atheists]. Oh, the [[irony]].

== Videos: [[LOGIC_AND_REASON|"Reason" & "Logic"]] are their [[Butt buddy|BFF]] ==

Even though there is no genuine proof for or against God, atheists will fervently proclaim that God is an artificial construct even in the face of basic logic.

{{center|
{{fv|atheist|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>3x1xHD_9OV4</youtube>
|<youtube>g29OxstfXrQ</youtube>
|<youtube>aLvf12lJuEQ</youtube>
|<youtube>_e_KYMkf4DA</youtube>
|<youtube>XXYjiTSpexw</youtube>
|<youtube>Rq5qzkeL9OM</youtube>
|<youtube>U3yKxvW9yNA</youtube>
|<youtube>183WP2SCkHE</youtube>}}
}}



== How to troll your average Atheist ==

[[Image:Atheist_motivational_poster.jpg|thumb|150px|Polish that Dawkins pole.]]
[[Image:Christfag Troll.png|thumb|Yes, it really is that easy.]]

* Refer the atheism as a religion and a belief. This will automatically enrage atheists. GOD PREVAILS!
* If religion is the source of all evil, then why was it a religious person who invented the scientific method? (Bonus points if you reveal, after their surprise, that the theist was a crazy Muslim scientist called Ibn al-Haytham.)
* If they belong to a fandom and idolize, let's say an actor, tell them that '''Fandom is like Religion''' as they treat it in the same way as theist treat religion. Bonus points if they are anime Otaku or belong to an anime fandom since most of them see a certain animu girl as God.
*Tell them there is no Constitutional right not to have "In God We Trust" on the dollar bill because belief in a God ''by itself'' is not religion, just spirituality.
***Ask them if the names of the days of the Week are also unconstitutional since they are named after Roman and Norse Gods (Tuesday = Tyr's Day, Thursday = Thor's Day, Saturday = Saturn's Day, etc.)
* Tell them that "Atheists help spread AIDS because they approve of same-sex marriage"
* Ask them to "Prove God doesn't exist"
* If an atheist/hilist tells you that life is meaningless, then tell them that there's no reason not to become a theist if believing in God makes you happier.
***Remind them that believing there is no God without any proof is a faith-based belief
***Ironically, this is a valid response to many atheist rants, as the average atheist engage any Christian for stating that he is a Christian with the same tone of "Your invisible pink unicorn man is a lie" rantings. A christian can prove that he's a christian. An atheist cannot prove that God doesn't exist.
* Ask them to explain The Cambrian Explosion. Aquiver with perturbance and confusion because 99% of them have absolutely no idea what this is, they will simply stare at you slackjawed (if it's an IRL scenario). After googling it they will then invariably accuse you of being "anti-science" for even questioning it.
* Point out that natural selection explains why they never get laid.
* Tell them Charles Darwin was a Christian.
* Tell them that the Problem of Evil doesn't disprove God, because not all God believers (such as deists) believe in an omnipotent God who can just snap his fingers and "end all pain and suffering" on earth
**Tell them that pain and suffering aren't inherently "bad" - and that science actually shows that people are happier when they're active and working hard than when they're just sitting around slothfully
*Tell them that studies actually show that church goers are more mentally healthy than those who never go to church
* Point out that only one third of scientists identify as atheists, while the majority have some form of belief. [[Wikipedia:Relationship_between_religion_and_science#Studies_of_scientists.27_belief_in_God|pr00f]]
* "It was an atheist that caused World War I that lead to many historical [[clusterfuck]] events such as the Red October revolution in Russia that gave birth to dirty [[communism|communists]], [[World War II]], the [[Arab]]-[[Israel]]i [[War]], [[the Cold War]], the rise of the People's Republic of [[China]]... just ask Gavrilo Princip's religion."
* "Theists killed more than one million people in a span of centuries, Atheists killed more than one million people in a few years, if not months"
* Bring up the infamous Stalin/Hitler argument, and watch them rage.
* "It's okay, if I were you I'd be pretty mad at God, too."
* "If evolution is true, why are there still monkeys?" (Regardless of whether or not they can correctly answer it, they will fly into a butthurt rage that you would even ask.)
* Point out that the apes are not our ancestors. If they object point out that their own doctrine disagrees with them because according to darwinistic dogma, we stem from a species of anthropomorphized apes which later evolved into us humans and our ape cousisns.
* Bring up the fact that evolution and the Big Bang theory are still just theories with plenty of flaws!
* Complain about the liberal bias promoted by the liberal media against intelligent design.
* "God did science...your science is NOTHING without God."
* "Science is ALWAYS based on faith because you never know what the result of an experiment will be (Which is why you perform the experiment in the first place and not just jot down what will happen)."
* Tell them "Jesus Loves them" and for extra lulz give them a hug and a bible and see how they react
* Bring up the [[fact]] that "Hitler was an atheist." Bonus points if you use the above quote proving that Hitler was, in fact, an atheist.
* "Stalin was an atheist." Bonus points if you mention to them about the Holodomor (Stalin's Holocaust).
* Point out that their posts sound like evangelical preachers' rants, including their tone, intensity, rhythm and measure.
* Ask them to explain the manner in which subjective experience arises from brain tissue. Inevitably, they will break down and say that consciousness doesn't exist]. At this point you can just start laughing hysterically.
* "I'll pray for you."
* "Jesus said: Cast not pearls before swine."
* "What up faith-cripples!" (Best to say when entering one of their forums)
* "What makes moral relativism correct?"
* "Atheists are never moral because they do not believe in God," followed up by "Morals are God-given not man-made."
* Suggest that if you were down and out in Calcutta, you'd much rather see Mother Teresa than [[Christopher Hitchens]].
* If all else fails, [[Goatse]], pain and fifty Jesus posts never go amiss alongside with ALLAH AKBAR!!!
* Have feelings.
* The way [[Christians]] get all of their arguments from the Bible, atheists get all of their arguments from [[The God Delusion]]. So saying something along the lines of "Maybe if you formed your own opinions once in a while, instead of parroting everything Dawkins spits out of his sinful mouth, you could truly see the glory of [[God]]!" is always worth a good try.
* Atheists do not really hate religion, just Christians. Tell them you are a Buddhist. If they start to attack your religion agree with them via this copy pasta "Yes, I see how that could be, the teachings of Buddha taught me to be very open minded. I accept your argument, and I do this because Buddha was right." When they find a person they can't argue with they reach a state similar to an advanced stage of rabies. Kick back and watch the lulz.
* Give them an analogy (like this one): "Trying to disprove God with our narrow knowledge of physics is like being given only a hammer to build a house. Every problem looks like a nail".
* Tell them to take the Atheist Challenge. As the atheist does not believe in anything science cannot prove, ask him to prove that the universe did not pop into being 5 seconds ago with the appearance of age, then to call his girlfriend and tell her that love is an illusion caused by chemical reactions. Bring an umbrella to shield yourself from the sputtering bullshit.
* Apparently, atheism has its own definition of free speech: When I attack you, it's just criticism. When you attack me, you are practicing [[New York City Atheists|RELIGIOUS OPPRESSION AAAARGGH THE EVIL THEOCRACY!!!]]
* Copy/paste info from conservapedia's article on atheism. (Such as atheists donate less to charities than christians).
* Tell them they're going to hell because [[God hates fags]]
* Point out that Friedrich Nietzche was in love with his sister, but gave up and started taking it in the ass because he couldn't get laid (srsly [http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/06/books/is-there-a-gay-basis-to-nietzsche-s-ideas.html])
* Imply that atheism is a form of [[liberalism]]. (refer to abiogenecism/evolution as liberal,this always makes them [[rage]])
* Tell them that trying to disprove God within the confines of physics is impossible.
* Ask them where all the atomic matter came from in order for the Big Bang to start.
* If they answer that Big Bang actually built all the matter from energy, misinterpreting the meaning of the concept of mass-energy equivalence, ask them where all the energy came from. And ask them to describe what is energy, so after they googled the definition they would learn their big mistake.
* If they say that matter existed since forever, note that in that case matter would be god. If they say that matter came into existance from nothing, point out to them that is exactly the definition of creation by the medieval catholic-based Scholasticism.
* Ask them why the Big Bang happened. If they try to answer to this question with a question, because they are obviously unable to answer, asking you "so why God created the universe?", answer with a classical argument used by the historical Christian Apologetics, that they for sure don't know because they most of the time are illiterate kiddos who never studied the classics: "because he wanted, an he saw that it was good". This is an appropriate response because according to theology and religion God Almighty is able of autonomous will, is not a mere mechanical event like the Big Bang.
* Mention that atheism and [[satanism]] are the same thing
* Tell them: Science knows that the big-bang was a spontaneous, causeless, source-less, purposeless, meaningless event. By extension, all created by it is too.
* Use all these arguments. (flail arms for effect) Watch as the atheist sputters and turns red in frustration. That umbrella that was mentioned earlier? Useful here for when the blood vessel in his forehead blows open.
* Tell them that Darwin was a Christian, this will cause massive butthurt as he is one of the main ideologues of atheists.
* Kalam Cosmological Argument. It fucking works all the time.
* If they have provided a definition for Atheism, derail by telling them that their definition is retarded because some cultures have Gods that were simply sacred animals/objects/places (e.g. sun worship). Ask them whether they believe the sun exists. See Ignosticism for more details. Do not tell them about Ignosticism because in their arrogance they will believe you to be less intelligent and try debating you rather than recognizing you're right.
* Remind them that Stephen Hawkings has proved the multiverse theory is bullshit and has converted to Deism.
* Even if they still believe in multiverse theory, say them that the existence of infinite multiverses can't be proven by conventional Physics since other universes would follow different rules than the ones of our universe.
* Say them that if infinite parallel universes exists, then infinite probability should be taken in account, so in many of those universes could exist a god (or many gods) and even an afterlife. And who knows? Maybe our universe is one of those.
*When atheists claim that militant theists (Christian and Muslim extremists) kill people but militant atheists don't - tell them that Stalin and Mao were militant atheists. Then watch them fly into a fit of rage trying to prove that anytime an atheist kills someone it "wasn't really because of atheism" (yet every time a Christian or Muslim does it's automatically because of "religion").
*Remind an atheist that not all Christians and theists are fundamentalists - 99% of atheists arguments against Christianity and Islam (ex. Ghandi is in hell and Hitler is in Heaven) are strawmen views only held by a minority of inbred fundamentalists.

=== Some Ways to Confuse An Atheist ===

[[File:Gun Control - Gun Shaped Cloud.jpg|thumb|Where is your g- nevermind.]]

*Send them a link to an article on the Problem of Induction. Facebook religion status will revert to 'agnostic' within a year, or they will inevitably point out that it applies to the Problem of Induction itself, thus making a moot point, and missing the point entirely.
*"If atheism is true, then our minds are reducible to physics. Since physics is fundamentally deterministic, we have no free will. Ergo, I have no 'choice' whether to adopt atheism or not, and you're wasting your time by trying to convince me of anything."
** This argument only bothers atheists who are dumb enough to be dualists. Monists (of either stripe) will ask you to explain what free will is.
*After the above argument: "When you say that there is no God, I have to ask: what ''compelled'' you to that conclusion?"
*If our minds are unreliable, then where does mathematics get its consistency? And if our minds are unreliable, then why should we accept unprovable contemporary physical theories?
*Surely, if evolution was not guided by a God, then we would not have evolved minds geared toward truth, only survival. In that case, where do you get off making blanket statements about the nature of the universe?
*Inevitably, the poor atheist will begin to sputter about how he's heard all these a million times before. Of course, he won't provide a single worthwhile rebuttal. You'll get a lot of sarcasm and no answers.
*Why do you try to say that I do the same thing when you're trying to disprove me now?
*(do this one after a long debate and especially when the debate topic was one about souls and immaterial things.) During this entire conversation you have given me your ideals and ideas yet isn't this entire conversation just pointless since our thoughts aren't really real?
*Ask them for a single logical reason why people should not kill themselves. If emotions are nothing but chemical reactions and there is no afterlife then there really is no reason why someone should not kill themselves over small matters like losing an iPod.
*If our IQ is a product of evolution and survival then why are humans the only ones with the higher intellect? And why do people with higher IQs not live any longer than regular people?
*Ask them as a fellow atheist how it is possible they do not fully support eugenics.
*Tell him despite all his superior knowledge of biology Darwin still married his first cousin.
*Ask them how belief in a god without proof is any different than denial of a god without proof. Ergo Absence of Evidence is not the same thing as Evidence of Absence. Also, it's logically impossible to prove a universal negative
*Tell them that their beloved science is a product of great polytheists and christians.
*Tell them that the concept of Atheism actually came from early Hindu beliefs.
*Tell them that they are actually Christians but they don't realize this yet.
*Remind them that, since they don't believe in an afterlife, their only purpose in life is to complain about Christianity on Reddit.
*Ask an atheist why he existed to begin with? He'll inevitably answer that human consciousness is the result of chemical reactions in our brains - but then asking him why ''he'' exists in his specific body, when he could've been born as someone else such as his brother or sister instead? And watch his head spin.
**Also be sure to remind an atheist that there is scientific research suggesting that human consciousness actually exists on a quantum level rather than solely within the neurochemical reactions in our brain - at this point he'll likely attempt to discredit the sources
*Ask an atheist why he believes that killing people is bad. He'll reply with a scripted answer such as "people evolved to be social animals", but then remind him that sub-rational instinct is not the same as rational morality. And all rationalizations of morality are incapable of grounding themselves, thus, there is no way to truly know if negative utilitarianism is the way to go and killing people is actually a good thing or if following our instincts is a good thing—both would require a dogmatic standpoint.
*Tell them that their saint and messiah Dawkins would be fine with intelligent Design, provided the universe was made by naturally evolved extrauniversal aliens as opposed to God.

=== Videos to troll atheists with ===


[[Image:The_Atheist.jpg|thumb|How to identify.]]

<center>{{fv|trollin|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|
{{center|'''Why atheists shouldn't rule America'''}}<youtube>QHUbIGLj1BI</youtube>|
{{center|'''Atheists don't find this ''[[half hour news hour|Half Hour News Hour]]'' clip funny.'''}}<youtube>6o_3UIhK-Pw</youtube>|
{{center|'''49 seconds of pure win.'''}}<youtube>wLEd9fVev3Q</youtube>|
{{center|'''The mind of an atheist'''}}<youtube>G8SES-L2cmQ</youtube>|
{{center|'''Kirk Cameron Explains Atheism is Faith-Based'''}}<youtube>rKrTK_WUiCo</youtube>|
{{center|'''Dawkins Worship'''}}<youtube>lkUHyX6EQ0E</youtube>|
{{center|'''theamazingatheist Gay With Chuck Norris'''}}<youtube>mnGjz48zn5o</youtube>|
{{center|'''an atheist is exorcized'''}}<youtube>hsKsVkJIEaw</youtube>|
{{center|'''Secularism has failed.CATHOLIC STATE MUST RETURN'''}}<youtube>ilNfuWHd9r0</youtube>|
{{center|'''How to deal with an atheist'''}}<youtube>tZyjuPgiNzw</youtube>|
{{center|'''Rape by nigger is a common cause of atheism'''}}<youtube>3rL9TKXxtgc</youtube>|
{{center|'''Atheists summed up in one video'''}}<youtube>3VA0OOEo0k2k</youtube>|
}}</center>

Any video from {{yt|u|amaqula|this youtube channel}} will surely generate much lulz.

== Atheists [[OL]] ==

[[Image:Intellegence.JPG|thumb|150px|[[Emo|Mr. Nifflekins]] [[Buttsex|demolishes]] the beliefs of theologians everywhere.]]
[[Image:BAA.jpg|thumb|Do not be fooled. This fellow is actually a goat.]]
[[File:The Amazing Atheist talking to some fans.png|thumb|A group of atheists [[circle-jerk|engaging in debate]]. Note the [[neckbeard]] and [[fedora]]s, typical accoutrement for specimens such as these]]
[[Image:Youtubeatheist.JPG|thumb|150px|In this example, a [[YouTube]] atheist reacts to someone making a [[Wii]] Mii of [[Jesus]]. Very typical for an Internets atheist.]]
[[Image:SRSRATIONALITY.png|thumb|Truly at the forefront of rationality and freethought.]]

Whenever religion is brought up on any message board or forum anywhere, expect it to be flooded by [[over 9,000]] hardcore neck-bearded atheists. They are world-renowned for shitting up religious discussion with posts that can usually be summed up as "ralijen sux" no matter how intelligent or rationalized the comment ''seems'' to the untrained eye. Atheists constantly whine about how religion is like a herd mentality meant to control the masses, yet demand blind compliance to their ideas.

Listening to angry atheist rants on the internet, one can detect a common sentiment or strain of thought running throughout. This sentiment goes something like this: "Atheists are inherently smarter than theists. All theists are ignorant and irrational because of the very fact that they are theists. Why bother engaging those stupid, dim sheeple in actual debate when they are so very, very ignorant?" This is why atheists perpetually come across as arrogant, whiny [[assholes]].

In this delicious irony, Joe Atheist is even more full of shit than [[Jerry Falwell]]. Every wacko fundamentalist Christian at least admits their beliefs rest on ''faith''. The atheist insists that he has serious logic on his side, yet refuses to even consider any position that they don't agree with.

They have also yet to rationalize the minor problem of the origin of the Universe issue in this anti-theologic worldview of cause-and-effect, but that's okay because the universe has just ''always existed'' '''LOL!!1'''. If you push them hard enough, you can even get them to deny causality.

It is also wise to remember that no atheist can understand lulz, as lulz, being a corruption of lol, means Love Our Lord. It is therefore impossible for a godless heathen to understand.

=== Sources of [[drama]] ===

Many people hold their religious beliefs very strongly. Many other people hold their supposedly non-religious beliefs even more strongly. As we all know, conflicting beliefs result easily in delicious drama. Thus, Atheists are a prime source of [[drama]], both as [http://www.livejournal.com/community/liberal/2165897.html subjects] and [http://www.livejournal.com/community/mock_the_stupid/924364.html creators].

[[YouTube]] has a sizable population of Atheists on it, mostly represented by the local diocese, [[Rational Squad]]. You can see kids bummed about church and that their parents won't buy them iPods. You may even be able to spot a few rare African-American "Atheists"!

{{center|
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>TAKL5FF-Bvyo</youtube><center>'''Call For Fellow Atheists to Come Out of the Closet'''</center>
|<youtube>sTRDSVresnonseDFRP2n4Sk</youtube><center>'''Poor oppressed jesus hater *rolleyes*'''</center>}}
}}

=== Internet Atheism: Facts Optional ===

Atheist comrades CardinalVirtues, SophiaRune, and HannibaltheVictor13 state the obvious, that most atheists are full of shit. Wanna become popular on YouTube? Just spout a bunch of ignorant bullshit in the most vitriolic manner possible (overused and [[unfunny]] jokes also work). This is proof that atheists are no different than any other ranch of herd animals. As such they only interested in sound bites and propaganda that make the world into an easy place rather than actually bothering to think critically and tackling the difficult questions and problems of the world. Next time you see such an ignorant asshole show them one of the videos here to cause massive butthurt to the turd and his horde of sheep and sycophants.

=== Quotes ===

{{center|
{{morphquote|AQ2|background-color:#ffffff;width:700px;height:210px;|font-weight: bold;

|Show me proof that isn't from a theist source and I'll repent after sucking off every nigger in Harlem.
|Every atheist OL, not knowing how a debate works and trying to hide their lusts.

|For fucks sake I thought I made it clear that if you try to criticize me I will fuck you up. I control my fanboys with an iron fist(ing) and I will summon Xenu on you
|Richard Dawkins, Founder of Scientology

|It's only science if I fucking want it to be
|Richard Dawkins, Inventor of Science

|So basically the only way we can achieve world peace is if we kill the 5 billion cunts who don't agree with me
|Richard Dawkins, Nobel Peace Prize Winner

|Lol I'll fuck you up 1v1 IRL cunt. Come at me bro
|God

|So fucking what if God exists? I've written a book, has God? The Bible, Torah and Qur'an don't count
|Richard Dawkins, embodiment of arrogance

|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}}

{{center|{{frame|{{fv|Atheistvids|background-color: red;|font-weight: soft;
|<youtube>30-1BPtGaTM</youtube>
|<youtube>50Bd-x75OTQ</youtube>
|<youtube>DEV9OUYbMo4</youtube>
|<youtube>slKULc8W7lM</youtube>
}}|border=white|background=white}}}}

== Even [[ED]] isn't safe from the Rampage of Atheists ==

[[File:Atheisttalkpage.PNG|thumb|300px||Does this really come as a surprise?]]

Please visit the userpages of the following users and let them know that [[Jesus]] fucking loves them hard. God Bless.

*[[User:Stone_Mask]] - DIs page wuz riten by 1 buthert christfag lol!
*[[User:Xeno945]] - Win is equal to or greater than me
*[[User:Raspberry_Rush]] - A line of coke and he <big>'''is'''</big> God.
*[[User:Acatisfinetookthxbi]] - SLAUGHTERING YOUR CITIZENS IS OKAY AS LONG AS YOU'RE AN ATHEIST.
*[[User:JiggerWigger]] - God / 0
*[[User Talk:Atomicswoosh]] - It's perfectly okay to believe in something for which there is no explanation or proof, as long as it's not God.
*[[User Talk:AnonyMouse]] - [[Butthurt|"Atheists are people who have learned to stop sucking God's dick and realize humans are the top of the food chain, when you die, you get eaten by worms and that's the end. Too bad, go cry to your 'God' about it. many more think atheists are great, and those who believe in God are self-absorbed, holier-than-thou pieces of shit who don't know how or when to shut the fuck up."]]
*[[User:StoneTemp1Pilot]] - Jesus Christ pose.
*[[User:Atomheart]] - BELIEVING THERE IS NO GOD ISN'T A BELIEF! I DON'T WANT IT TO BE!
*[[User:Godlovesmeso]] - "If you are older than twelve, you should be an atheist by now."
*[[User:Nicekitty]] - This article is too mean. ED should be nice, like Wikipedia. [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Atheist&diff=prev&oldid=54165]
*[[User:TheMontgomery]] - HAY GUIZ WUTZ GOIN ON IN DIS ARTICLE???
*[[User:D0nnerf0tze]] - See below then see [[TheAmazingAtheist]] article.
*[[User Talk:Aubnop]] - OMG I AM SO SMART BECUZ I TRIED TO REFUTE A SATIRE ARTICLE!!1111
*[[User:TapRoot]] - I did it all for the Nookie. (Would have done it for the Lulz but has been explained Atheists cannot comprehend the Lulz.)
*[[User:Dysrhythmia]] - If I have to choose between God and [[abortion]] then call me an atheist.
*[[User:JanusChrist]] - Has gay sex with Christian men he finds on Craiglist for the [[lulz]].
*[[User:AnonymousWhore]] - d0 u lyk g0d?
*[[User:TractusVicis]] - Because Jebus was a dick.

=== Even the second coming of ED is harrassed ===

*[[User:Dontbanmebro]] - Beware, page contains ear rape.
*[[User:NAZIBOY]] - Apparently sucks cocks.
*[[User:Nikolai123]] - Super butthurt appending vandal
*[[Gardevoir|User:Double Nigger]] - A wild Nihilist appeared!.
*[[User:Stlson]] - Because i don't believe in the tooth fairy either
*[[User:Max998]] - Typical atheist butthurt editing.{{diff|409164}}

''See also the BAWWWWWing and flamewars this article started in ED: [[Talk:Atheist]].''

== Famous Atheists ==

[[Image:Atheist_Barbie.jpg|thumb|Even Barbie is getting in on the Atheist action!]]
[[Image:Sagan.jpg|thumb|St. Carl Sagan in atheist heaven]]

*[[Richard Dawkins]]
*[[Christopher Hitchens]]
*[[Seth MacFarlane]]
*[[Friedrich Nietzsche]] - GOD IS DEAD! Unfortunately, his colossal hubris caused him to end up like {{ytlink|Fzp7iCaWNvE|this}}
*[[Ayn Rand]] - Nietzsche wannabe who for some reason is now the darling of right-wing Bible thumpers.
*[[Sick Fuck|Marquis de Sade]] - killed and raped prostitutes for the lulz
*[[Karl Marx]] - A hypocrite who rejected God while promising a [[communism|Heaven on Earth]] - but failed.
*[[Julia Gillard]]
*[[Woody Allen]] - fucks his underage daughter
*[[Björk]]
*[[Linus Torvalds]]
*[[Ivan Pavlov]]
*[[Terry Pratchett]]
*[[James Randi]]
*<s>Eric Gaede</s> [[Asalieri]] - a [[obesity|fat]] attention whore.
*[[Salman Rushdie]]
*[[George Carlin]]
*[[Devin Patrick Kelley]] - A truly righteous man
*<s>Daniel Harris</s> [[Razorfist]] - what you get when Tiny Tim, Alice Cooper, and Dio are crammed in a blender and you hit "frappe".
*[[Joseph Stalin]] - killed 40 milion people
*[[1984|George Orwell]]
*[[Benito Mussolini]]
*[[Sam Harris]] - Said that religion is worse than rape
*Margaret Sanger - Planned Parenthood founder and eugenics supporter
*[[Joss Whedon]]
*[[TheArchfiend]]
*[[Steve Wozniak]]
*[[Mao Zedong]] - pedo who killed a ton of [[chink]]s

== Gallery ==

{{cg|Gallery of Euphoria|GoE|center|<gallery>
File:Atheism_is_unstoppable.jpg|How atheists view themselves
File:Rmd.JPG|A typical atheist
File:Atheist reward.jpg|[[nothing|What you'll get for being an atheist]]
File:Isyourhousemateanatheist.jpg|[[X? In my Y?|Atheists, in MY room?]] It's more likely than you think.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Religion comic.jpg|Atheists are happy to admit their mistakes—except they don't make mistake because they're atheists.
File:Atheists4.jpg|Religion is like a penis: theists have them, atheists don't.
File:How an Atheist argues.png
File:Suckthatathiests.png|[[lol|HAHAHAHAHA]] [[Fellatio|SUCK]] [[cock|THIS]], [[You|ATHEISTS!]]
File:Godpostend_win.jpg|Another [[win]] for God Almighty!
File:Typicalatheist2.png|Typical atheist defense strategy in an argument
File:Typicalatheist1.png|Proof that atheists can't distinguish Christians from Jews
File:Ian_watkins_atheism.jpg|Atheist paedophile Ian Watkins proving how atheists are more moral {{ytlink|bd-w0ZHs9l0|than religious people}}
File:Big_bang_theory_god_atheism.jpg|Big bang theory, ironic because all atheists are virgins
File:Atheists_make_better_lovers.jpg|They're specialists at masturbation.
File:Black_science_man.jpg|Science nigger has a theory.
File:There's_probably_no_god_bus_advert_atheist_atheism.jpg|This shit would be funnier than the Titanic.
File:Evolution_question.jpg|The gaping goatse in atheist logic
File:Richard_dawkins_cult.jpg|The Dawkins cult worshipping their high priest.
File:Atheism_opiate_morally_corrupt.gif|The sigh of the middle class white basement dweller
File:Atheist_troll_mother.jpg
File:Atheists_rip_apart_god's_truth.gif|Tearing it apart like Hitchens' asshole in hell
File:Atheism_a_consoling_delusion.jpg|Rejecting God's finger until he offers to put it up their ass
File:If_god_doesn't_matter_to_him_atheism.jpg|Think gun crime is bad now? Wait til the rednecks lose their faith.
File:Atheism is gay vs christianity.jpg
File:Cut_god_from_the_english_language.png|Reasonable atheist demands
File:Bragging_atheists.jpg|Aren't you a [[special snowflake]]?
File:Life_after_birth.jpg|Atheism is blue pill.
File:Militant_Atheism_by_MrVorhias.png|Allowing you to think freely as long as you agree with their conclusion
File:JesusFTW.jpg|God taking a get from a fail troll
File:Butthurt atheist fish.jpg
File:Valium.jpg|Valium, the drug of cunts.
File:Atheism_makes_sense.jpg|Perfect nonsense
File:Child_why_pray.jpg|thumb|Why do atheists hate children?
File:Atheist_until_the_plane_falls.jpg|How many cowardly atheists have been martyred for their beliefs?
File:God_saves_patient.jpg|thumb|People atheism has saved: Zero
File:Atheist_bus_advert_idiots_religion.jpg|Assholes, mainly
File:amazingatheistlol.JPG|An atheist in [[Basement-dweller|its natural habitat]]. Clearly, this is an example of Nietzsche's Übermensch ideal.
File:A_World_Without_Religion.jpg|What atheists fap to
File:Science_And_Religion.jpg
File:Zeek1.jpg
File:Zeek2.jpg|Fuck you, Leonardo da Vinci! Here's a better ''Last Supper''!
File:Atheist-ChristianDebate.JPG|An atheist shows off his incredible [[faggotry|debating-skills]]
File:Atheism is autism.jpg|Throws [[Chris-Chan|violent tantrums]], check, has [[unwarranted self importance]], check. Surprised much?
File:Atheist afterlife.jpg|The atheist afterlife
File:Atheism_-_Intellegents.jpg|A true atheist
File:Atheist-sex.jpg
File:Atheism-bald.jpg
File:Atheist2.jpg
File:Polpotatheist.jpeg
File:Atheists.jpg
File:Atheism.jpg
File:EducatedAtheist.gif
File:Epicurus quote.jpg
File:You_must_be_a_theist_islamophobic_atheism.jpg|Be prepared to be accused of being religious (as if it were a crime) if you disagree with their bigotry.
File:Stereotype_westboro_atheism.jpg|When you can't handle truth: you're not a critical thinker.
File:Denounces_preaches.jpg|Also refuses to believe in irony
File:Illogical_scientists.jpg|But but... some of the greatest trolls are atheists!
File:Big_bang_catholic_priest.jpg|When agenda-pushing atheist posers meet real science
File:Smug_asshole_atheism.jpg|Remember when Jesus said his opponents were cunts?
File:Religion_rule_life.jpg|Defined by his lack of belief in God and his lack of interest in leaving the house
File:Blame_religion_for_bad_things.jpg|Atheist hypocrisy at its finest
File:Monopoly_reason_morality.jpg|How about a monopoly on stupid billboards?
File:Atheism1.jpg
File:Atheist Vs Christian.jpg
File:Deluded2.jpg
</gallery>}}

== See Also ==

* [[Fedora]]
** [[Neckbeard]]
*** [[Virginity]]
**** [[Reddit]]

* [[Agnosticism]]
** [[Fagnostic]]

* [[Logic and Reason]]
** [[Rational Response Squad]]

* [[Hipster]]
* [[Richard Dawkins]]
* [[George Carlin]]
* [[Ayn Rand]]
* [[Randroid]]s
* [[TheAmazingAtheist]]
* [[Fakesagan]]
* [[Friendly Atheist]]
* [[AngryLittleGiri]]
* [[Iidb]]
* [[Pinkiepony]] – [[Feminazi]] and [[closet furry|brony in denial]] with a pink fetish.

* [[Liberalism]]
** [[Nihilism]]
*** [[Retardation]]
**** [[Atheism+]]

* [[Proof That God Exists]]

* [[The Easter Bunny]]

== External Links ==

* [http://philosophynow.org/issues/78/Wheres_The_Evidence Use the points in this link to pwn a number of atheist hive mind arguments.]
* [http://atheism.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Atheism now has it's very own wikia.]
* {{wayback|20071218110731|www.atheistnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?start=0&t=16823|title=Atheists complaining about ED; note the furry avatars.}} "Anyways, Uncyclopedia is better in the lulz department and is less abusive to the senses." [[Clearly]], [[Uncyclopedia]] is not part of the [[Internet Hate Machine]].
*{{wayback|http://www.rationalresponders.com/forum/the_rational_response_squad_radio_show/general_conversation_introductions_and_humor/690|2007062106|title=The <abbr title="Rational Response Squad">RRS</abbr> think the "Atheist" article on ED is hilarious}}.
* {{archive|iyFE3|"Golden Compass" {{=}} Atheist Propaganda?}}
* {{wayback|http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5i-OFG98VprcXzcMCPVSB1QNjlCBAD8TB9ABG0|20070609092030|title=Atheist douchebag Michael Newdow butthurt about "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance.}}
* [http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1984003,00.html IRL troll Tobias Brown gets the Atheists in a froth fest with his article about the dictatorship of Atheism.]
* [http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/politicsphilosophyandsociety/story/0,,2265446,00.html ''The Atheist Delusion'' by John Gray]
* [http://groups.google.com/group/Atheism-vs-Christianity Atheism vs. Christianity A fight of epic proportions.]
* [http://www.atheistforums.com A perfect place to troll these fucktards]
* [http://www.fstdt.com The atheists' personal army] - Note that this site is no longer being updated.
* [http://www.darwinsracists.com/ A book called "Darwin's Racists''] - Use to troll liberal atheists
* [http://www.proofthatgodexists.org Another webpage to troll atheist]
* [http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism,_pederasty_and_NAMBLA '''Atheism, pederasty, and NAMBLA'''] - Atheists started '''NAMBLA''', use this and many other [[Conservapedia]] pages to troll them.
* [http://archives.politicususa.com/2011/08/31/pastor-wants-atheist-registry-to-track-atheists-like-sex-offenders.html "An atheist registry should exist to track them like sex offenders"]
* [http://www.tektoonics.com/test/parody/fundyath.html '''You might be a fundy atheist IF...'''] - Use this to troll them! The term alone can get their panties in a wad!

{{Retarded Edit Wars}}
{{truth}}
{{Religions}}
{{cults}}
{{Atheism}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 26 & September 27, [[2013]]|[[Rebecca Watson]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Darksydephil]]}}

[[Category:Atheism| ]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

The Internet is serious business

2024-08-11T06:19:52Z

Stooge:

''Disambiguation: SRS may also refer to [[Shit Reddit Says]]''
<div style="text-align:center;font-weight:bold;color:red;font-size:20pt">/!\ WARNING: THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS SHIT /!\</div>

[[Image:Seriouswiki.jpg|thumb|right|333px|'''"[[Why so serious?|Y SO SRS?]]" -[[Heath Ledger]]'''.]]
[[Image:Seriousbusiness2.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Seriouswikipl0x2.png|thumb|right|250px|Let's hope it isn't fucked up yet.]]

'''''The Internet Is Serious Business''''' is a phrase used to remind those who have just been successfully trolled that being mocked on the [[Internet]] is, in fact, the end of the world. Common variations include, '''Internet... Serious Fucking Business''', '''The Internet: Serious Business''', '''Internet = Srs Business''', '''SRS BIZNS''' and even just '''INTERNET!!''' Plural: '''The Internets Are Serious Businesses'''. The phrase is often used as the text of an [[image macro]] or to highlight the [[Stupidity|complexity]] of a [[flame war|heated debate]] in an internet [[forum]].

<div id="OPENINGBOX" class="morphcontainer" style="width:100%; padding:0px; border:none; align:center; background:#FFFFFF;">
{|class="boilerplate" id="pd" style=" background-color:#FFFFFF; border:5px solid black; border-radius:15px; padding: 3px;" width=100% cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0
|align=center|''Click on one of the below categories to view its content''
----
|-
|align=center|

<big><big>Jameth</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Summmer '05</big></big>  •  
<big><big>1/14/2006</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Navy Guy!</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Trucker Business</big></big>  •   
<big><big>Tracy v.s. UK</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Jake Brahm</big></big>
|}
<div style="padding: 0px;">
<div align=center border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" align="left" width="100%" style="background-color: #FFFFFF; border: none; padding:0px">
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent1 hiddentext">
[[Image:Jamethemo.jpg|thumb|right|333px|Jameth]]
[[Jameth|James Robert Murphy]], 38, of Columbia, South Carolina, was sentenced to 5 years of probation, 500 hours of community service, and more than $12,000 in restitution for two counts of [[Trolling|Use of a Telecommunications Device (the internet) with Intent to Annoy, Abuse, Threaten or Harass]].

Murphy was indicted in April 2004, for [[trolling IRL|sending harassing emails]] to [[Seattle]] resident Joelle Ligon and to other employees of the City of Seattle. He pleaded guilty to two counts in June 2004. [[internet court|In sentencing Murphy]], [[tl;dr|U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Zilly]] told Murphy he "[[I did it for the lulz|...did not demonstrate the type of remorse he should under the circumstances]]."
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent2 hiddentext">
[[Image:DAoC-furries.jpg|thumb|right|133px|Lovers of DAoC]]
'''In The Summer Of 2005''', the internets was taken by storm by the serious business event known simply as '''"[[YOU FUCKING STOLE MY CLOUDSONG]]"'''. This was an event in the game "Dark Age Of Camelot" where some nerd made numerous [[internet tough guy|death-threats]] against a party of people who stole his rare item, a "Cloudsong". Was made popular by [[DeviantArt]], but was mislabelled as "''[[World of Warcraft|WOW]] is serious business''".
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent3 hiddentext">
'''On January 14, 2006''', a new lawsuit came about when a "man" [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1556769/posts sued his internet buddies after he was made fun of in a chatroom.] This is an excellent example that the internet is still SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent4 hiddentext">
'''In July, 2007''', US Navy Petty Officer Russell Tavares was sentenced to seven years in prison [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19980505/ for driving 1,300 miles to burn down the trailer owned by someone who called him a "nerd" on the internets]. SERIOUS BUSINESS INDEED!
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent5 hiddentext">
[[Image:Emma forrester.jpg|thumb|right|120px|She should not have been fucking around with Facebook.]]
'''On October 17, 2008''' truck driver Wayne Forrester got jailed for life for stabbing his wife to death because she changed her [[Facebook]] status to ''single'' [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7676285.stm after they split up]. SERIOUS AMOUNTS OF SERIOUS BUSINESS!!11[[oneoneone]]
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent6 hiddentext">
Another example is Tracy Williams, a college lecturer who used a Yahoo group as a base for repeatedly hassling one Michael Keith Smith (a member of the [[Douche|UK Independence Party]]), discussing the Iraq War. He ended up suing her and [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/4829932.stm winning £10,000], though whether or not this had something to do with Tracy's flagrant breaches of [[Godwin%27s_Law|Godwin's Law]] remains unreported. Tracy obviously grossly underestimated the seriousness of the business in which she was engaging (or something). Likely originated on the [http://www.genmay.com/ General Mayhem] forums.
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent7 hiddentext">
[[Image:Lol party V&.jpg|thumb|333px|right]]
Recently, [[Jake Brahm]] learned that the internet was still SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS after being arrested for [[copypasta]], which is now apparently a criminal offense.
</div>
</div></div>

==SERIOUS FUCKING VIDEOS==
[[File:Syrs_bird.jpg|thumb|This are no laughing matter]]
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold
|<youtube>kD7LEoMvp4A</youtube>
|<youtube>HZljGqVSdPI</youtube>
|<youtube>FGhGHxw0mSo</youtube>
|<youtube>QVFfgm-J50Q</youtube>}}
|}

==SERIOUS FUCKING IMAGERY==
{{cg|SERIOUS GALLERY IS SERIOUS|seriousgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Stand Aside.jpg
Image:We take ourselves very seriously here.png
Image:LOTRseriousbusiness.jpg
Image:Daniel_Craig_Dust_is_serious_business.JPG|Daniel Craig on serious Business!
Image:OMAMseriousbusiness.jpg|The internet is serious fucking business!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Kong.JPG|Kongregate.com is serious business!
Image:Serious_fucking_business.jpg|Great Googly Moogly, that's some fucking serious business!
Image:Ceebrages.png|Ceeb's [[Shit nobody cares about|fascinating write-ups]] on [[FurAffinity|eff aye]] are serious motherfucking business.
Image:Srslydunget.JPG|She dun get it.
Image:seriously.png|Looks like we're gonna have to jump!!!
Image:Serious_Business_3k.jpg|Doing some [[serious]] business
Image:Hear serious internets.jpg|[[W]] knows about the serious business
Image:Serious internet businessmen.jpg|VERY SERIOUS
Image:Internet_business.jpg|SERIOUS!!!!
Image:Seriousindian.JPG|Internet! Serious fucking business!
Image:seriousgore.jpg|[[Al Gore]] is Serious Business.
Image:Ot-serous papillary adenocarcinoma.jpg|Internet! SERIOUS FUCKING business!
Image:Seriousbusiness.jpg|This guy can [[rape]] you over the internet. This is serious business.
Image:Rapeseriousbusiness.jpg|[[Rape]] is serious business indeed.
Image:InternetSeriousBusiness.jpg|The blue flames in the background prove that the internet's serious business
Image:Quite_serious_indeed.jpg|[[What|WHAT]]!
Image:SrsBznzShirtGraphic.png
Image:InternetsFlyBusiness.jpg|he is flying into a world of knowledge and [[porn]]
Image:Intermoots.jpg|[[FBI|The FBI]] knows serious business.
Image:bidness.jpg|Serious fucking sideburns.
Image:Internetseriousbusiness.jpeg|Internet Serious Business. Sr'sly
Image:LAZER_CHICKEN!.jpg|If a rubber chicken has a lazer on it's stomach. RUN.
Image:CerealBusiness.jpg|He should know. He created it.
Image:neopetsisseriousbusiness.jpg|Even [[Neopets]] agrees.
Image:Corporatecunt.jpg
Image:Tayseriousbusiness.png|[[Tay Zonday]]
Image:Che Guevara.jpg|[[Communism]]
Image:Hardcore_juggalette.jpg|[[ICP|Juggalettes]] are teh [[tubgirl|serious business]]
Image:Chetalv.jpg|Cripples take [[The Suckage|things]] seriously.
Image:Internet=serious-fucking-business.jpg|[[shit|Yummy]]
Image:Smugfag=serious-fucking-business.jpg|[[Intellectual Checkmate|He]] is serious business.
Image:Seriousbidness.jpg|Isaac Asimov knows his shit, yo.
Image:Internetseriousbusinesshng.JPG|Even [[Hikaru no go|Sai]] knows.
Image:Mypsrsbiz.jpg|[[My Little Pony]] is serious business.
Image:lolsuits.png|[[Internet lawsuit|Internet lolsuits]] are srs fucking business
Image:Digimon_is_serious_business_too.png|[[Digimon]] is serious business too. [[Lie|Srsly]].
Image:Ic3banner.jpg|An example of the Crackhead school of graphic design
Image:Howard-stern-sirius.jpg|Old media, Sirius Business
Image:Seriousgolf.gif|PUTT-PUTT GOLF IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS
Image:Seriousbook.jpg|srs biz!
Image:Seriousbankclowns.jpg|MOTHERFUCKING BANK ROBBING CLOWNS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS
Image:FlyingSaucers.jpg|FLYING SAUCERS ARE SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!1!!!ONE!!!!
Image:SeriousCrest.png| This crest is serious business
Image:Wikipedia is serious business.png|Wikipedia doesn't mess around
File:Wiki-busi.png|
Image:faggotry.png| [[Internet tough guy]]
Image:1849109085 c67facb916.jpg
Image:UWERESRS.jpg
File:Internets Serious.jpg
Image:Memes_-_Serious_Business_-_LOL_Cats_-_01.jpg
Image:Memes_-_Serious_Business_-_LOL_Cats_-_02.jpg
Image:Memes_-_Serious_Business_-_LOL_Cats_-_03.jpg
file:Srsbiz.jpg
</gallery>}}

==VARIOUS OTHER SERIOUS FUCKING SHIT==
[[Image:Srs_bzns.jpg|thumb|serious motherfucking business]]
[[Image:Internet_serious_business.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Non-compliance will result in [[Falcon Punch]], bitch.]]
[[File:Bob monkhouse.jpg|thumb|right|SFB guy IRL]]
It has been recently discovered that [[Shit nobody cares about|other shit]] is serious business too.

*[http://www.sportscarforums.com/ Cars and censorship] ([http://bit.ly/c57V0 Archive])
*[http://www.nintendowiifanboy.com/2007/04/03/wii-piracy-in-china-is-serious-business/ Chinks]
*[http://archive.is/bnJOs Clowns]
*[http://www.newscientisttech.com/article/dn11131 Cyberterrorism]
*[[Dolemite|Dolemite]]
*<s>[http://www.seriousbusiness.org.uk/ Feminism]</s> {{archive|IBfbU}}
*Mario Party
*[[Mia Janin]]
*[[CP|CP]]
*[[Patrick Hamm]], or so the article says.
*[[Nicochi|Sonic's eye color]]
*[http://www.amazon.com/Flying-Saucers-Serious-Business-Frank-Edwards/dp/0806510609 UFOs]
*[[Spax3|Video game voice-acting]]
*[http://www.colonydrop.com Thinking people give a shit about Japanese Cartoons made in the 20th Century]
*[[Weegeeisgoingtokillm|Making poorly made Mugen characters and hoping that it would get good reviews.]]

==See Also==
[[Image:Jd3li0l4hsq1l301.jpg|thumb|A po' [[Nigger|black]] family try'n to do some serious chik'n bidness]]
*[[LOL INTERNET]]
*[[Anti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.com]]
*[[Internets|The Internets]]
*[[ESS]]
*[[Girl Drama]]
*[[Leaderfag]]
*[[moralfag]]
*[[Public Apologies]]
*[[Srsly]]
*[[Serious Cat]]
*[[Why So Serious?]]
*[[Colony drop|Colony Drop]]

==External links==
* <s>[http://www.sportscarforums.com/ THE serious forum]</s> bandwidth owned, archive [http://bit.ly/c57V0 here]
* [http://www.myspace.com/mminternets INTERNETS. SERIOUS BUSINESS.]
* <s>[http://internetisseriousbusiness.com Official website of the Internet]</s> bandwidth owned, archive [http://bit.ly/5iq8W5 here]
* [http://www.serious-internet.biz The most Serious of Internet Business]
* [http://greyhoundtimmy.deviantart.com/journal/15048770/#comments Serious motherfucking yiffy business]
* [http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=78545 Srs forum debate between some drama whores and some 9/11 conspiracy theorists]
* <s>[http://internetting.biz An internetting forum]</s>
* [http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=image_macros&keyword=INTERNET%21&filter=all Collection of "Internet is Serious Business" image macros]
* <s>[http://attorneyatlol.com Attorney At LoL]</s> {{archive|zklnN}}
* <s>[http://internet-srs.biz/ INTERNET-SRS.BIZ]</s>: [[Last Measure]] is serious fucking business
* [http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-10-10-internet-defamation-case_x.htm Wow.]
* <s>[http://www.internet-serious-business.com internet serious business]</s>
* <s>[http://www.lvl9.org/ "Level 9"]</s> {{archive|D704Y}} <s>([http://www.lvl9.org/Wiki/index.php/Main_Page wiki])</s> {{archive|fxlGj}}
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Friendly_Neighbour&diff=78377488&oldid=76002511 Physics discussions - serious business]
* [http://archive.is/zKb9 Fun bag full of legal threats at the Pirate Bay]
* [http://www.ic3.gov/ IRL American Internet police]
* [http://www.seriousbusiness.com/?last_metric=088c0897612ced82ce3d7fd9896ba86f-invite-1772520804-0 Seriously Serious Buisness] Seriously - Serious Business
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serious_Business Wikipedia article on Serious Business]

{{Rainbowsmall|INTERNET. SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS}}

{{serious}}
{{Takedown}}
{{trolls}}

{{Timeline|Featured article July 21, [[2009]]|[[DracoGuard]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Suzi Blu]]}}

[[Category:In Jokes]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

The Internet is serious business

2024-08-11T06:18:39Z

Stooge: Cleaned up the article.

''Disambiguation: SRS may also refer to [[Shit Reddit Says]]''
<div style="text-align:center;font-weight:bold;color:red;font-size:20pt">/!\ WARNING: THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS SHIT /!\</div>

[[Image:Seriouswiki.jpg|thumb|right|333px|'''"[[Why so serious?|Y SO SRS?]]" -[[Heath Ledger]]'''.]]
[[Image:Seriousbusiness2.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Seriouswikipl0x2.png|thumb|right|250px|Let's hope it isn't fucked up yet.]]

'''''The Internet Is Serious Business''''' is a phrase used to remind those who have just been successfully trolled that being mocked on the [[Internet]] is, in fact, the end of the world. Common variations include, '''Internet... Serious Fucking Business''', '''The Internet: Serious Business''', '''Internet = Srs Business''', '''SRS BIZNS''' and even just '''INTERNET!!''' Plural: '''The Internets Are Serious Businesses'''. The phrase is often used as the text of an [[image macro]] or to highlight the [[Stupidity|complexity]] of a [[flame war|heated debate]] in an internet [[forum]].

<div id="OPENINGBOX" class="morphcontainer" style="width:100%; padding:0px; border:none; align:center; background:#FFFFFF;">
{|class="boilerplate" id="pd" style=" background-color:#FFFFFF; border:5px solid black; border-radius:15px; padding: 3px;" width=100% cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0
|align=center|''Click on one of the below categories to view its content''
----
|-
|align=center|

<big><big>Jameth</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Summmer '05</big></big>  •  
<big><big>1/14/2006</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Navy Guy!</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Trucker Business</big></big>  •   
<big><big>Tracy v.s. UK</big></big>  •  
<big><big>Jake Brahm</big></big>
|}
<div style="padding: 0px;">
<div align=center border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" align="left" width="100%" style="background-color: #FFFFFF; border: none; padding:0px">
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent1 hiddentext">
[[Image:Jamethemo.jpg|thumb|right|333px|Jameth]]
[[Jameth|James Robert Murphy]], 38, of Columbia, South Carolina, was sentenced to 5 years of probation, 500 hours of community service, and more than $12,000 in restitution for two counts of [[Trolling|Use of a Telecommunications Device (the internet) with Intent to Annoy, Abuse, Threaten or Harass]].

Murphy was indicted in April 2004, for [[trolling IRL|sending harassing emails]] to [[Seattle]] resident Joelle Ligon and to other employees of the City of Seattle. He pleaded guilty to two counts in June 2004. [[internet court|In sentencing Murphy]], [[tl;dr|U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Zilly]] told Murphy he "[[I did it for the lulz|...did not demonstrate the type of remorse he should under the circumstances]]."
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent2 hiddentext">
[[Image:DAoC-furries.jpg|thumb|right|133px|Lovers of DAoC]]
'''In The Summer Of 2005''', the internets was taken by storm by the serious business event known simply as '''"[[YOU FUCKING STOLE MY CLOUDSONG]]"'''. This was an event in the game "Dark Age Of Camelot" where some nerd made numerous [[internet tough guy|death-threats]] against a party of people who stole his rare item, a "Cloudsong". Was made popular by [[DeviantArt]], but was mislabelled as "''[[World of Warcraft|WOW]] is serious business''".
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent3 hiddentext">
'''On January 14, 2006''', a new lawsuit came about when a "man" [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1556769/posts sued his internet buddies after he was made fun of in a chatroom.] This is an excellent example that the internet is still SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent4 hiddentext">
'''In July, 2007''', US Navy Petty Officer Russell Tavares was sentenced to seven years in prison [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19980505/ for driving 1,300 miles to burn down the trailer owned by someone who called him a "nerd" on the internets]. SERIOUS BUSINESS INDEED!
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent5 hiddentext">
[[Image:Emma forrester.jpg|thumb|right|120px|She should not have been fucking around with Facebook.]]
'''On October 17, 2008''' truck driver Wayne Forrester got jailed for life for stabbing his wife to death because she changed her [[Facebook]] status to ''single'' [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7676285.stm after they split up]. SERIOUS AMOUNTS OF SERIOUS BUSINESS!!11[[oneoneone]]
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent6 hiddentext">
Another example is Tracy Williams, a college lecturer who used a Yahoo group as a base for repeatedly hassling one Michael Keith Smith (a member of the [[Douche|UK Independence Party]]), discussing the Iraq War. He ended up suing her and [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/4829932.stm winning £10,000], though whether or not this had something to do with Tracy's flagrant breaches of [[Godwin%27s_Law|Godwin's Law]] remains unreported. Tracy obviously grossly underestimated the seriousness of the business in which she was engaging (or something). Likely originated on the [http://www.genmay.com/ General Mayhem] forums.
</div>
<div class="morphcontent sectionContent7 hiddentext">
[[Image:Lol party V&.jpg|thumb|333px|right]]
Recently, [[Jake Brahm]] learned that the internet was still SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS after being arrested for [[copypasta]], which is now apparently a criminal offense.
</div>
</div></div>

__TOC__

==SERIOUS FUCKING VIDEOS==
[[File:Syrs_bird.jpg|thumb|This are no laughing matter]]
{|style="margin:0 auto"
|{{videoframe|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold
|<youtube>kD7LEoMvp4A</youtube>
|<youtube>HZljGqVSdPI</youtube>
|<youtube>FGhGHxw0mSo</youtube>
|<youtube>QVFfgm-J50Q</youtube>}}
|}

==SERIOUS FUCKING IMAGERY==
{{cg|SERIOUS GALLERY IS SERIOUS|seriousgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Stand Aside.jpg
Image:We take ourselves very seriously here.png
Image:LOTRseriousbusiness.jpg
Image:Daniel_Craig_Dust_is_serious_business.JPG|Daniel Craig on serious Business!
Image:OMAMseriousbusiness.jpg|The internet is serious fucking business!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Kong.JPG|Kongregate.com is serious business!
Image:Serious_fucking_business.jpg|Great Googly Moogly, that's some fucking serious business!
Image:Ceebrages.png|Ceeb's [[Shit nobody cares about|fascinating write-ups]] on [[FurAffinity|eff aye]] are serious motherfucking business.
Image:Srslydunget.JPG|She dun get it.
Image:seriously.png|Looks like we're gonna have to jump!!!
Image:Serious_Business_3k.jpg|Doing some [[serious]] business
Image:Hear serious internets.jpg|[[W]] knows about the serious business
Image:Serious internet businessmen.jpg|VERY SERIOUS
Image:Internet_business.jpg|SERIOUS!!!!
Image:Seriousindian.JPG|Internet! Serious fucking business!
Image:seriousgore.jpg|[[Al Gore]] is Serious Business.
Image:Ot-serous papillary adenocarcinoma.jpg|Internet! SERIOUS FUCKING business!
Image:Seriousbusiness.jpg|This guy can [[rape]] you over the internet. This is serious business.
Image:Rapeseriousbusiness.jpg|[[Rape]] is serious business indeed.
Image:InternetSeriousBusiness.jpg|The blue flames in the background prove that the internet's serious business
Image:Quite_serious_indeed.jpg|[[What|WHAT]]!
Image:SrsBznzShirtGraphic.png
Image:InternetsFlyBusiness.jpg|he is flying into a world of knowledge and [[porn]]
Image:Intermoots.jpg|[[FBI|The FBI]] knows serious business.
Image:bidness.jpg|Serious fucking sideburns.
Image:Internetseriousbusiness.jpeg|Internet Serious Business. Sr'sly
Image:LAZER_CHICKEN!.jpg|If a rubber chicken has a lazer on it's stomach. RUN.
Image:CerealBusiness.jpg|He should know. He created it.
Image:neopetsisseriousbusiness.jpg|Even [[Neopets]] agrees.
Image:Corporatecunt.jpg
Image:Tayseriousbusiness.png|[[Tay Zonday]]
Image:Che Guevara.jpg|[[Communism]]
Image:Hardcore_juggalette.jpg|[[ICP|Juggalettes]] are teh [[tubgirl|serious business]]
Image:Chetalv.jpg|Cripples take [[The Suckage|things]] seriously.
Image:Internet=serious-fucking-business.jpg|[[shit|Yummy]]
Image:Smugfag=serious-fucking-business.jpg|[[Intellectual Checkmate|He]] is serious business.
Image:Seriousbidness.jpg|Isaac Asimov knows his shit, yo.
Image:Internetseriousbusinesshng.JPG|Even [[Hikaru no go|Sai]] knows.
Image:Mypsrsbiz.jpg|[[My Little Pony]] is serious business.
Image:lolsuits.png|[[Internet lawsuit|Internet lolsuits]] are srs fucking business
Image:Digimon_is_serious_business_too.png|[[Digimon]] is serious business too. [[Lie|Srsly]].
Image:Ic3banner.jpg|An example of the Crackhead school of graphic design
Image:Howard-stern-sirius.jpg|Old media, Sirius Business
Image:Seriousgolf.gif|PUTT-PUTT GOLF IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS
Image:Seriousbook.jpg|srs biz!
Image:Seriousbankclowns.jpg|MOTHERFUCKING BANK ROBBING CLOWNS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS
Image:FlyingSaucers.jpg|FLYING SAUCERS ARE SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!1!!!ONE!!!!
Image:SeriousCrest.png| This crest is serious business
Image:Wikipedia is serious business.png|Wikipedia doesn't mess around
File:Wiki-busi.png|
Image:faggotry.png| [[Internet tough guy]]
Image:1849109085 c67facb916.jpg
Image:UWERESRS.jpg
File:Internets Serious.jpg
Image:Memes_-_Serious_Business_-_LOL_Cats_-_01.jpg
Image:Memes_-_Serious_Business_-_LOL_Cats_-_02.jpg
Image:Memes_-_Serious_Business_-_LOL_Cats_-_03.jpg
file:Srsbiz.jpg
</gallery>}}

==VARIOUS OTHER SERIOUS FUCKING SHIT==
[[Image:Srs_bzns.jpg|thumb|serious motherfucking business]]
[[Image:Internet_serious_business.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Non-compliance will result in [[Falcon Punch]], bitch.]]
[[File:Bob monkhouse.jpg|thumb|right|SFB guy IRL]]
It has been recently discovered that [[Shit nobody cares about|other shit]] is serious business too.

*[http://www.sportscarforums.com/ Cars and censorship] ([http://bit.ly/c57V0 Archive])
*[http://www.nintendowiifanboy.com/2007/04/03/wii-piracy-in-china-is-serious-business/ Chinks]
*[http://archive.is/bnJOs Clowns]
*[http://www.newscientisttech.com/article/dn11131 Cyberterrorism]
*[[Dolemite|Dolemite]]
*<s>[http://www.seriousbusiness.org.uk/ Feminism]</s> {{archive|IBfbU}}
*Mario Party
*[[Mia Janin]]
*[[CP|CP]]
*[[Patrick Hamm]], or so the article says.
*[[Nicochi|Sonic's eye color]]
*[http://www.amazon.com/Flying-Saucers-Serious-Business-Frank-Edwards/dp/0806510609 UFOs]
*[[Spax3|Video game voice-acting]]
*[http://www.colonydrop.com Thinking people give a shit about Japanese Cartoons made in the 20th Century]
*[[Weegeeisgoingtokillm|Making poorly made Mugen characters and hoping that it would get good reviews.]]

==See Also==
[[Image:Jd3li0l4hsq1l301.jpg|thumb|A po' [[Nigger|black]] family try'n to do some serious chik'n bidness]]
*[[LOL INTERNET]]
*[[Anti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.com]]
*[[Internets|The Internets]]
*[[ESS]]
*[[Girl Drama]]
*[[Leaderfag]]
*[[moralfag]]
*[[Public Apologies]]
*[[Srsly]]
*[[Serious Cat]]
*[[Why So Serious?]]
*[[Colony drop|Colony Drop]]

==External links==
* <s>[http://www.sportscarforums.com/ THE serious forum]</s> bandwidth owned, archive [http://bit.ly/c57V0 here]
* [http://www.myspace.com/mminternets INTERNETS. SERIOUS BUSINESS.]
* <s>[http://internetisseriousbusiness.com Official website of the Internet]</s> bandwidth owned, archive [http://bit.ly/5iq8W5 here]
* [http://www.serious-internet.biz The most Serious of Internet Business]
* [http://greyhoundtimmy.deviantart.com/journal/15048770/#comments Serious motherfucking yiffy business]
* [http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=78545 Srs forum debate between some drama whores and some 9/11 conspiracy theorists]
* <s>[http://internetting.biz An internetting forum]</s>
* [http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=image_macros&keyword=INTERNET%21&filter=all Collection of "Internet is Serious Business" image macros]
* <s>[http://attorneyatlol.com Attorney At LoL]</s> {{archive|zklnN}}
* <s>[http://internet-srs.biz/ INTERNET-SRS.BIZ]</s>: [[Last Measure]] is serious fucking business
* [http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-10-10-internet-defamation-case_x.htm Wow.]
* <s>[http://www.internet-serious-business.com internet serious business]</s>
* <s>[http://www.lvl9.org/ "Level 9"]</s> {{archive|D704Y}} <s>([http://www.lvl9.org/Wiki/index.php/Main_Page wiki])</s> {{archive|fxlGj}}
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Friendly_Neighbour&diff=78377488&oldid=76002511 Physics discussions - serious business]
* [http://archive.is/zKb9 Fun bag full of legal threats at the Pirate Bay]
* [http://www.ic3.gov/ IRL American Internet police]
* [http://www.seriousbusiness.com/?last_metric=088c0897612ced82ce3d7fd9896ba86f-invite-1772520804-0 Seriously Serious Buisness] Seriously - Serious Business
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serious_Business Wikipedia article on Serious Business]

{{Rainbowsmall|INTERNET. SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS}}

{{serious}}
{{Takedown}}
{{trolls}}

{{Timeline|Featured article July 21, [[2009]]|[[DracoGuard]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Suzi Blu]]}}

[[Category:In Jokes]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

TV Tropes

2024-08-11T06:11:18Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long.

{{spoiler|The site got a revamp and it's still shitty}}
<center></center>
<center>[https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Main_Page Replacement]: go here instead</center>

[[Image:Tvtropes.png|thumb|TV Tropes loves wearing shades.]]
[[Image:TvtropesLogoOld.png|thumb|150px|Former TV Tropes logo]]
{{Quote|TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life|Motto and (failed) goal}}

'''TV Tropes''' is a wiki devoted to discussion of [[Shit nobody cares about|tropes, plot devices, literature, trends and entertainment media]]. It is something akin to Free Online Liberal Arts College but with 20% more [[aspergers]]. Being a site that attempts to neatly sort art and storytelling into rigidly defined categories, it has naturally attracted a massive amount of spergdroids whose only aim in life is to catalog useless shit that no one else cares about. As a result, just as how [[deviantART]] breeds hack artists, [[FanFiction.Net]] breeds hack writers, and [[Stormfront]]/[[pol]] breeds hack Political Scientists, TV Tropes is a school for hack English majors and/or literary analysts who think that indexing something is the same thing as understanding it. Before it became Politically Correct™, it was much closer in spirit to [[4chan]] due to the average member's preference towards being an [[in-joke]]y social networking service and constant in-fighting due to allowing any and every [[fandom]] to run buck wild on the wiki.

The site was characterized by its high saturation of pretentious liberal arts wannabes, [[basement dwellers]], [[aspies]], [[weeaboos]], wannabe [[elitist]] pop culture sophisticates, "snarky" dumbfucks who substitute sarcasm for personality, hidden pockets of [[That Guy With The Glasses]] fanwhoring, and [[trolls]] milking them all for the [[lulz]]. It was also frequently mocked for its [[unfunny|childish]] attempts at meta-humor and lack of quality control. Topics ranged from how much everybody [[Fap|loves]] [[Doctor Who]], how much everybody hates [[Twilight]], long "philosophising" about mindfucked animu such as [[Evangelion]] or [[Madoka]] as if Nietzsche wrote them, arguments and whining over every little change to the site, and pretentious analysis of tropes and storytelling conventions. Think of it as the wikified version of a Postmodern Art Museum; though it may appear to be art and the critics may tell you as much, even the most basic analysis from a layman's perspective will reveal it to be a load of boring crap.

However, that was the past. Today, TV Tropes is nothing compared to its troll-infested lolcow past since [[Google]] grabbed FastEddie by his minute testicles and strongarmed him into imposing "[[Political Correctness|The Rule of Cautious Editing Judgement]]" or "[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/family_friendly.php Family Friendliness]". As a result almost [[Over 9000|99.9%]] of its demographic population has been expelled for suspected paedophilia, Asperger's Syndrome, edit wars on "the philosophy of Dr. Who", or offending some (mostly religious ones such as [[Christian]]s, [[Muslim]]s and [[Atheist]]s). Though it once had aspirations of being something akin to [[Uncyclopedia]] or [[ED]], thanks to its recent attempts at pandering to internet SJWs it is on the verge of total extinction.

[[You]] can find the website [https://tvtropes.org/ here] and a guide on how to be a productive member [[Vandal/How-to|here]].

[[Image:tvtropestropetan.png|thumb|[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/TropeTan Trope-Tan], the "[[Wapanese|Anthropomorphic Moe Personification]]" of the site.]]
[[Image:Trope-tan Rule34.jpg|thumb|[[Rule 34]] by their own member Ossan: tropers will fuck anything.]]
[[Image:Anthrope-tan.jpg|thumb|She's a furry too, who'd have guessed?]]

==A Brief Introduction==

[[File:Madru+Ed.jpg|thumb|left|Know yer mods: Madrugada and Fast Eddie]]

Before [[Al Gore]] and his greatest contribution to humanity, memes were controlled by a small circle of writers and poets. [[Shakespeare]] dubbed these literary memes "tropes". With the invention of the printing press, more and more people were invited into the writers' circle and the tropes spread. Eventually, modern media abused these tropes until they became [[cliché]] and commonplace. Tropes were not a secret any longer and viewers and readers began to spot them instantaneously in any [[manga]], [[television]] show, or [[movie]] they watched.

In 2003, it was determined that an entire wiki should be constructed to contain these tropes, and thus TV Tropes was created. Originally a spin-off of a [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]] [https://buffistas.org/ message board] and limited only to TV, it soon gained its own website and expanded to other realms due to site owners Fast Eddie and Janitor's (now [[ironic]]) insistence of "as few rules as possible".

After years of allowing [[fantard]]s, weeaboos, [[furries]], [[sick fuck]]s, memefags, pedophiles, and unfunny [[newfag]]s to shit up the site, Fast Eddie (now the only leader) eventually snapped and started enforcing extremely draconian yet vague standards through the judicious use of the delete key, page locks, and teh [[banhammer]]. [[Some argue]] this might make the site one of the most meticulous, drawn-out setups for mass [[trolling]] ever concocted on the internet.

== Article Style ==

{{Quote|We are not a stuffy encyclopedic wiki. We're a buttload more informal.|TV Tropes on article style}}

[[Jimbo Wales]] once said that for a Wiki to be successful, three things are needed: Good leadership, a way of weeding out whoever is harmful to the site, and a clear vision. TV Tropes isn't governed by any single vision. Instead, it is about thousands of competing plans all trying to spread their own brand of faggotry over the whole site, consisting of uncategorized lists the size of [[TL;DR|long cat]] that requires forensic analysis to figure out what the fuck they are about, or, on the other end of the septic spectrum, massing together in hiveminds of fanwhoring fucktards and coming to reflect the place in such a manner that wasn't thought enough about.

{{Quote|If anything, I think that it may be based on the "popular perception" that Literary Criticism is a bunch of intellectuals (and intellectual poseurs) who spend their time picking literary works to pieces, with a whole jargon that they use as buzzwords, to make themselves sound smarter.|Madrugada, a Troper not realizing the irony of this statement}}

Because the site panders to fandoms, it is overrun with slobbering fanboys who really, really want the object of their fandom to become a cultural icon. This is why they have a trope called "Xanatos Gambit," named after a character from an old Disney cartoon that no one remembers. It basically means "always have a backup plan," so it's not like there is any particular reason for it to be dubbed after this character. Except, of course, that the users who created it are fans of said old Disney cartoon and would like to delude themselves into thinking that it isn't just an obscure footnote in television history. The entire wiki is overrun with this kind of bizarre pop-cultural jargon, so much so that Trope-speak is a recognized and much maligned form of communication elsewhere on the web.

Many of the tropes which aren't pure fan wank are metafiction and other phenomena that aren't even tropes by the classical definition; they are simply things which nerds have noticed and felt the need to write [[tl;dr]] articles about. This results in quite a few pages which are simply lists of such riveting things as "One-Book Author" and "Box Office Bomb," both of which come dangerously close to stepping on Wikipedia's toes.

At this point, [[you]] may be wondering what exactly a trope is. The truth is that a trope can be literally anything. As long as you can write a 1000+ word article about it and fill it with insufferable geek-speak and references to anime, it'll be welcome on TV Tropes.

<center>[[Image:TVTropesUglyDisclaimer.png]]</center>

=== Why it sucks ===
Look at Wikipedia and us at ED. Then take a look at TV Tropes. The latter looks like the prelude to [[WWIII|World War Three]] while the former looks somewhat cohesive. Why is that? Are EDiots and Wikipedos more organized and accommodating than tropefags? Of course not! Both Wikipedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica bombard the reader with a recurring slogan: "The Free Encyclopedia" and "In lulz we trust". Every EDiot understands that he is writing an encyclopedia of lulz, just like every Wikipedo understands he is writing a regular encyclopedia. Those wikis therefore becomes fairly consistent, even if they still are shit. TV Tropes has no such slogan except for "TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life" (which says nothing about its content), or perhaps the younger header of "THE ALL DEVOURING POP-CULTURE WIKI" (which does nothing but point out how nebulous as shit the site is). The closest thing it's got is the "You know that thing, where..." section wherein users can suggest new tropes. Registered users can show their approval by awarding new tropes a "hat," and if an entry gets five hats it can be launched after three days.

This system is what's primarily responsible for the incredible bloat the wiki currently suffers from. Wikipedia generally avoids having pointless, crappy articles because of their notability requirement, whereas the only requirement for being listed on TV Tropes is that a handful of users say "yeah, okay." With such low standards, it's no surprise that there are currently hundreds of pages clogging up the site that even the spergs who obsessively prune its branches can't be bothered with (see: any page related to pro wrestling).

=== Notable Articles ===
While most of the mainspace articles on TV Tropes are total failures in being either useful or entertaining, a few manage to be indicative of the site's poor quality.

*Encyclopedia Dramatica: Deleted and salted. See [[TV Tropes/Deleted Encyclopedia Dramatica Article]] for full disclosure.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyImmortal My Immortal]: Initially the dumping ground of unfunny rejected /b/tards, Fast Eddie predictably deleted all the spam and locked it. Luckily, you can see a proper writeup of the series [[My Immortal|on this very wiki]].
*[[Joss Whedon]], [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Creator/JossWhedon their God (or "patron saint" as they like to call him)]. Nearly all of the awful "snarky" humor you see on this site is from people who watched Buffy and/or Firefly as a teen and still think they are the height of wit and style.
*The [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/Warhammer40000 main] and [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/Warhammer40000 character pages] for [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Printing out everything would take over 180 pages, and that doesn't include all the other sections and individual book series pages. As much proof as you need that the site has no concept of moderation, especially when it comes to excessive fanwankery.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/FurryFandom Furry Fandom]: TV Tropes supports [[furries]]. Hell, they even think they are <s>[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BadassFurry badass].</s> BALEETED. Go {{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BadassFurry|20120208124120|title=here}} for the Wayback Machine version. Go '''{{fandomlink|tropedia|Badass_Furry|here}}''' for the Tropes Mirror Wiki version.
*Image Boards: Despite really being the retarded /b/rothers that got institutionalized and promptly forgotten, they used to live in fear of [[4chan]]. Because of this, they had a [[meme]] where they wouldn't refer to the [[chan]]s by name for fear of invoking the wrath of [[Anonymous]] or something and instead said "Image Boards" as some way around using their name (notice "The Imageboard That Must Not Be Named" in the "alt title(s)" section). Nevermind the internet isn't fucking [[Harry Potter]] and [[B/|/b/]] has better things to do than [[raid]] a glorified fansite. They seem to have realized this by now, but still perpetuate this meme because Tropers aren't exactly quick to change their rigid social routines.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fanboy Fanboy], [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fangirl Fangirl], [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/AspergerSyndrome Asperger's Syndrome]: Here, let them describe themselves for you in their own words.

=== [[X? In my Y?|Memes? In my TV Tropes?]] ===
Along with [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Memes/TVTropes their own house memes], they also have a bunch of meme pages despite the masses yelling such platitudes as "we are not Encyclopedia Dramatica." Indeed, they aren't. In case you want to see what some of your beloved ED articles look like through the lens of [[aspie]] fanboys and [[Know Your Meme]] happens to be down today, you can find the most popular ones on TV Tropes.

'''Warning: Most of these articles don't know when to quit'''

*[[Candlejack]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/CandleJack Candle Jack]
*[[Caramelldansen]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/CaramelldansenVid Caramelldansen Vid]
*[[Chuck Norris]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Website/ChuckNorrisFacts Chuck Norris Facts]
*[[Demotivators]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FauxtivationalPoster Fauxtivational Poster]
*[[Forced Meme]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForcedMeme Forced Meme]
*[[The Game]] - {{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheGame|20110508081116|title=The Game}}
*[[I Can Has Cheezburger?]] and [[Template:Cat]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WebOriginal/LOLCats Lolcats]
*[[Image Macro]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImageMacro Image Macro]
*[[In Soviet Russia...]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RussianReversal In Soviet Russia Trope Mocks You]
*[[No girls on the internet]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThereAreNoGirlsOnTheInternet There Are No Girls On The Internet]
*[[NO U]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoYou No You]
*<S>[[pretty cool guy]] - [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PrettyCoolGuy Pretty Cool Guy] (they had to split it into 22 subpages)</S> BALEETED {{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PrettyCoolGuy|20111208045518|title=(Archived)}}
*[[Rickroll]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/Rickroll Rick Roll]
*[[Zalgo]] - [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SelfDemonstrating/Zalgo Zalgo]

== Other types of articles ==
=== Subjective Tropes ===
Subjective Tropes (also called "Your Mileage May Vary" tropes) are where all the real [[lulz]] and [[troll]]-fodder of the site lie. Since most "regular" trope examples are boring recitations of [[fact]], trope pages where you're certain to [[Flame war|start an argument]] by merely bringing up an example are inherently way more interesting than noting yet another action movie that smashed a fruit cart.

Unfortunately, since "subjective" means "in my [[opinion]]", the site is large enough where every last opinion is held by at least someone (yes, even the people who think [[The Human Centipede]] is sexy), and the site policy holds that all opinions are basically equal (so long as it doesn't piss off Fast Eddie, of course!), that basically means that these pages grow like cancerous tumors requiring constant splitting into more and more specific subpages as they lurch towards hosting every last fucking thing as an example, [[evar]].

*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel Nightmare Fuel]: Tropers are gigantic fucking [[pussies]] that shit their pants '''{{ytlink|4zMFOtFCuc0|every time the ice cream truck comes around the corner}}''' (?t=0m20s).
*Fetish Fuel: When they aren't shitting their pants in terror, they are being constantly aroused by such sexual lightning rods as cartoon animal ass and anything made of leather. This is because most tropers, being absolutely riddled with autism, cannot emotionally connect with other people enough to have sexual relationships with them so they must substitute fantasy characters and inanimate objects. Their throbbing boners for everything except actual human beings got so far out of hand that the page got baleeted and spun into <s>[http://fetishfuel.wikia.com/wiki/Fetish_Fuel_Wiki its own wiki]</s> (gone) {{wayback|http://fetishfuel.wikia.com/wiki/Fetish_Fuel_Wiki|20160101122013|title=(Archived)}}, which is just as fantastic as you think.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanonDiscontinuity Fanon Discontinuity]: "I don't like this work, therefore, I declare it to not exist!"
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TearJerker Tear Jerker]: "My favorite character just found out the clerk at Starbucks shorted him a nickel. I... I think I'm gonna cry... [[BAWWWWW]]!"
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment Of Awesome]: Absolutely anything and everything about a troper's favorite show, ever, collected onto a set of hideously gigantic pages. Fast Eddie tried to cut away some of this tumor by turning it into a thumbs up/down system for each individual moment, but since this would mean showing what people actually think of an entry, it didn't take off. Eventually the administration admitted that the name had lost all meaning, due to the low standards of the average troper, and renamed it "Moment Of Awesome".
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic Crowning Music Of Awesome]: In the same failtastic vein of Crowning Moment Of Awesome, this index of pages has expanded to include absolutely every piece of music ever written. An entire page in particular (20 times longer than the main page for John Keats, someone who actually matters) is devoted to music from some shitty webcomic that Tropers spread throughout the wiki like the cancer it is. Eventually renamed to "Awesome Music" after Fast Eddie realized that there wasn't anything crowning about this fuckery.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdaptationDecay Adaptation Decay]: If the [[animu]] of their favorite [[manga]] decides to change the birthday of the coffee shop clerk that appeared in some bullshit filler chapter, the neckbeards will all scream "DECAY!" and bitch about how it's a corruption of a literary masterpiece and the evil production company is taking a giant shit on a beloved franchise.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon Moral Event Horizon]: "This character cut somebody off at the turnpike. UNFORGIVABLE! [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompleteMonster COMPLETE MONSTER]!"
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MagnificentBastard Magnificent Bastard]: Who the hell even knows what this means any more?
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/DethroningMomentOfSuck Dethroning Moment Of Suck]: Distilled [[Nerd Rage]] so pure that you can almost hear the grinding of many gritted teeth, smell the countless pants that were pissed in anger, and taste the bitter, salty tears dripping from hundreds of double chins
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/SoBadItsHorrible So Bad It's Horrible]: A basically pointless section where butthurt idiots with too much time on their hands write seriously [[TL;DR]] screeds declaring something to be the absolute worst work of fiction evar. Would be a total write-off if not for the endless stream of bickering between said delusional [[personal army]] fucktards and those that want to hold the section to some kind of standard.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HoYay Ho Yay]: "Two characters of the same sex are close friends. They must be [[gay]]!"

Subjective tropes like the above used to be placed in the example sections of work pages and invariably devolve into epic [[flame wars]] between [[fantard]]s and [[hater]]s. Faced with the possibility of having to moderate every work page with a subjective trope on it, Fast Eddie decided to [[Lazy|lazily]] [[ghetto]] them onto their own "YMMV" tab and call it a day. One will notice throughout this article that Fast Eddie's solution to everything he can't just outright delete is to [[Lazy|hide it somewhere else and pretend it doesn't exist.]]

For those who recognize that the YMMV pages are stupid and want to help accelerate their decay, just go through this list (don't miss the other linked categories on the side] and contrive some reason to add each one to every work page possible. Any idiot can see that this is obvious and useless, but hey: all opinions are valid and should be represented, so back off, fuckers. This particular bit of advice is obsolete, however: Fast Eddie has finally decided to stop ignoring obvious solutions to [[grudgewank]] on the main wiki and outlawed any reference to the "flame bait" pages. He even deleted and salted mainspace redirects to the offending pages. Too bad waiting years and years to do this shit means hundreds of dead links and way too many idiots that will keep making more out of obliviousness, rebellion, or simple malice.

=== Darth/Sugar Wiki ===
[[File:Fast Eddie Sugar and Dark Wiki.png|thumb|right]]

{{Quote|We have the segregation. Sugar Wiki is harmless and fun, and harmless fun doesn't hurt the wiki in any way. I don't have a defense for Darth Wiki.|Fast Eddie. Well, he's half right.}}

The "good" and "evil" sections of the wiki.

[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/ThisExists Darth Wiki] initially started off as some [[unfunny]] [[in-joke]] before swiftly being turned into a [[ghetto]] for everything too negative to appear on the main site. With a hideous greyscale color scheme that frequently breaks due to Fast Eddie's poor grasp of [[Cascading Style Sheet]]s, it's divided between articles [[trying too hard]] to be like Dark Helmet from Spaceballs and [[BAWWWWW]]tism-incarnate bitching articles. Some suggested reading:

*<s>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/WallBanger Even more redundant complaining about sucky moments in fiction.]</s> BALEETED. '''{{archive|UDTgO|(Archived)}}
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/HowNotToWriteATropePage Their real style guide.]
*<s>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/TroperTales Their awkward self-parody of Troper Tales that fails harder than the real thing.]</s> BALEETED. {{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/TroperTales|20100910104855|title=(Archived)}}
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DethroningMoment/ChannelAwesome About the only place where criticizing That Guy With The Glasses won't earn a swift ban and ass-rape.]
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/UnpublishedWorks Want to write a Great American Novel, but too lazy to do anything but throw together some TV Tropes memespeak for your half-formed idea? Here's the section for you!]

On the flip side of Darth Wiki is the [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SugarWiki/SweetExists Sugar Wiki]. Created long after its evil twin, this was always intended as a ghetto for obvious blowjob articles like Crowning Moment Of Awesome. This section is divided between said ghetto and an awkward parody of ultra-girly shows like [[My Little Pony]] mixed with "KAWAII WA [[DESU]] =^_^=" bullshit typical of the site's [[weeaboo]] bend. There are absolutely no [[lulz]] to be found here, so don't waste your time.

=== TV Tropes Fanfiction ===
TV Tropes, with their septic tank of fan trivia, do what any sensible person with such wealth of information at their fingertips would do: write [[fanfic]]s. Most of them stay in the forums as shitty RP threads, but sometimes the shit gets so big it leaks into the main site, warranting their own page and [[at least 100]] sub-pages to go with it. From then on, it becomes a gigantic collab fanfic (or at least moreso). They are constructed like a fake TV show, and the contents consist of episode summaries for the first part, and then character summaries, character backstory, world backstory, character sexuality, developer commentary, cameos, invoked tropes, camera tricks, fan materials of a fan material, and scraps of rejected then recycled ideas for the rest. They're about as cliched as tropes.

*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/AvatarAndTheAirbendingFellowshipOfVampireSlayers Avatar And The Airbending Fellowship Of Vampire Slayers] - A show made to appeal to the average troper. Like its namesake, it's like an average [[fantasy]] show.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/ThePunishersSongOfEvangelionAndIMustScream The Punishers Song Of Evangelion And I Must Scream] - The DarthWiki version. Reads like a shitty comic-based action movie.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SugarWiki/MyLittleRainbowPrincessPrettyMoonShortcake My Little Rainbow Princess Pretty Moon Shortcake] - The SugarWiki version. Reads like a [[My Little Pony]] fanfic with magical girls.
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/TropePantheons Trope Pantheons] - Tropers give various influential figures arbitrary titles and pay tribute with their fanjizz.
*TV Tropes the TV Show - The biggest chuck of shit in the crap pile. In a nutshell, this is a crossover-ish self-insert fanfic with a shit ton of animu cliches and animu relationships. BALEETED in 2012, although the show's forum still exists.

=== Troper Tales ===

[[Image:Trope-tan2.png|thumb|right|200px|Tropers are very talented artists.]]

{{Quote|This troper is 6'6, can beat up a room full of people by walking in, can bench press 4 elephants balancing on each others' backs, and is geared up for getting a First at Oxford. And invented C++. And TV Tropes. And the Sun.|The average Troper's Tale (for "Genius Bruiser"). Not a parody.}}

{{Quote|Whenever someone creates a new Troper Tales page, a kitten is put in a blender.|<s>[http://tinyurl.com/TroperBlendKitten An apt description.]</s> (gone)}}

After noticing that a lot of [[USI]]-afflicted Tropers kept dumping their [[LiveJournal]] [[diarrhea]] all over the trope pages, Fast Eddie did what he does best and in August 2008 created a [[ghetto]] for these pathetic basement dwellers to talk about how they're totally awesome [[Mary Sue]]s rather than just [[ban]]ning their faggot asses on sight. This section quickly turned into one of the most popular parts of the site, with each page growing more and more cancerous as the [[aspie]]s all tried to out-bullshit each other.

There was a time the moderators not only did absolutely nothing about people [[trolling]] in this section, but even outright said the section is dumb and a waste of time. While one would think this would have made the section a goldmine of lulz, in reality, it made it impossible to tell the difference between cool stories and satires thereof. Full-on lulz-blindness was inevitable. Also, what fun is trolling if you're not going to eventually get banned for it?

As of February 2011, however, this section gained <s>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Administrivia/TroperTalesGuidelines proper rules of conduct]</s> (gone) {{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Administrivia/TroperTalesGuidelines|20110807232357|title=(Archived)}} that discourages both outright bullshitting and trolling. While Fast Eddie did this because of his desire to make the site "family friendly" (for Google AdSense rather than his personal beliefs, of course!), he instead made trolling it a worthwhile endeavor once again. After a while though, Troper Tales went the way of the dodo, too, so apparently even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

[[File:TTRedesign3.png|thumb|120px|How tropers deal with inconvenient truths: denial, insults and shitposting, til a mod comes to ban the dissenter.]]

Some suggested reading: (note: after Fast Eddie's lulz-killing campaign, all are only available as archives in Wayback Machine)

*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/BrilliantButLazy|20090418023437|title=Brilliant But Lazy}}: "I'm totally smarter than Albert Einstein multiplied by Stephen Hawking, but because I'm lazy, I'm writing an anonymous self-congratulatory paragraph on a Wiki instead of curing cancer."
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/ReallyGetsAround|20110409084249|title=Really Gets Around}}: "I'm totally not a virgin! In fact, I slept with hundreds of women while I was in the waiting room for a dental cleaning appointment!"
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/BeautifulAllAlong|20100618044700|title=Beautiful All Along}}: "I look ugly, but I'm really beautiful when I get my hair shampooed, change out of my filthy clothes into a dress, have extensive plastic surgery to remove all the potch marks, and I Photoshop a celebrity's head over my own. Honest."
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/InsufferableGenius|20090415085710|title=Insufferable Genius}}: "I'm a fucking douchebag and I admit it, but I'm a Mensa member, so FUCK YOU!". Fast Eddie called their shit and deleted fucking everything.
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/TheWoobie|20110224184857|title=The Woobie}}: "PITY ME, GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!"
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/BreakTheCutie|20090520180055|title=Break The Cutie}}: "Hey, I am the fucking nicest, purest and sweetest human being to ever live! And, as all of you lower forms of life know, every day of my existence is a blessing to you worthless pieces of garbage and your shitty planet! Then why the fuck are you assholes being so mean to poor little me?!? HUGS PLZ!!!"
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/BrotherSisterIncest|20090105033155|title=Brother Sister Incest}}: Deleted due to obvious reasons.
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/CompleteMonster|20091015073100|title=Complete Monster}}: Deleted once already because it became the bees knees for delusional teenage retards that aspired to show how badass they are by writing fictional stories about their murderous rampages. "This one bully used to tease me in school, so I pushed him down the stairs and broke his neck, AND FELT NO REMORSE!!!1"
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/InsaneTrollLogic|20100915000746|title=Insane Troll Logic}}: How the fucking morons on TV Tropes try to disguise their idiocy: by using a tacky misrepresented word to help them feel better for being dropped on their head. None of it is insane, logical or trolling, but don't tell them that! You'll hurt their feelings, and they will resort to {{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/TearJerker|20100825094104|title= crying about it on the same wiki...}}
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/LimitedWardrobe|20110206034128|title=Limited Wardrobe}}: Disgusting page where scores of Tropers admit to never changing clothes. But they wash all the time, though.
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/BadassLongcoat|20110317041354|title=Badass Longcoat}}: Intense circle jerk about how cool tropers think they look in trenchcoats.
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/SarcasmMode|20110301145115|title=Sarcasm Mode}}: An entire page of tropers trying to one up each other with sarcasm and failing at being witty, as usual.
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/PrecisionFStrike|20090617062643|title=Precision F Strike}}: "This troper, being pure and innocent and perfect, doesn't normally swear, but sometimes I do when I'm reaaaallly angry. Or sad. Or bored. Or happy. Or whenever, but it's okay because I don't do it all the time, so fuck you!"
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/ClusterFBomb|20100819005349|title=Cluster F Bomb}}: "Shit fuck cunt goddammit bitchfucking cocksucking cuntlicking FUUUUUUUUUCK!"
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/TookALevelInBadass|20101006184547|title=Took A Level In Badass}}: "This troper used to get bullied every day in middle school until he studied karate, kung fu, eskrima, capoeira and wing chun, bought some boxing gloves, brass knuckles and nunchuks and shot all of his classmates!"
*{{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/MistakenForGay|20110303073922|title=Mistaken For Gay}}: "OMG, everyone always thinks I'm gay because I wear all pink, listen exclusively to Madonna and like fucking other guys! Like, WTF?"
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanFicRecommendations Fanfic Recommendations]: While not technically part of this section, it's basically the same mentality. Here, users within the fanfiction "canon" suck each other's e-peens while simultaneously providing ample lulz to those brave enough to read the "[[My Immortal|masterpieces]]" linked. Note how they either aren't as great as the other authors claim, and/or are written by [[sick fuck]]s. Expect unprecedented amounts of [[USI]]. Some easy ways to [[troll]] this section are recommending [[Squirrelking|obvious troll fics]], disputing a work's inclusion through [[constructive criticism]], or pretending to be a [[FanFiction.Net]] hack and spamming a section with obvious [[shameless self promotion]] in hopes of provoking Tropers to raid the unsuspecting victim. essentially claiming "no, MY story is better than YOURS!" You can already see the results of this on {{wayback|http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TroperTales/GeniusBruiser|20110221042314|title=Genius Bruiser}}.
 
[[File:SuperAsp.png|frame|center|<center><big>'''In summation.'''</big></center>]]
 
==== "This Troper" on [[Jewtube]] ====
In the veritable spirit of mondo films and shock sites, a guy called {{yt|CrazyGoggs|CrazyGoggs}} and his pals have been voice acting the juiciest bits in Tropers Tales, exposing the underbelly of TVTropes. Reportedly, making those videos have taken the toll of their sanity.

{{Quote|The fact that people like this actually exist kind of depresses me. So does the fact that through the internet, their legacy will live on forever. The Library of Alexandria is gone, The Canterbury Tales will never be completed, but the misanthropic ramblings and ridiculous power fantasies of self-important teenagers will always be here.|Watch out, a troper might write your name in his Death Note for saying that!}}
 
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|This Troper Vids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>odKZpAjIsgU</youtube>
;Tv Tropes in a nutshell
|<youtube>rF-MKnTFOuo</youtube>
;There are no words needed for this shit.
|<youtube>IxCkrkfbaiw</youtube>
;"I'm so brilliant I can cure cancer! Too bad I'm lazy as fuck."
|<youtube>Yas3_msLf2I</youtube>
;YOU ARE NOT AN ANIME CHARACTER. STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW.
|<youtube>ckGrCGnS2Eg</youtube>
;Oh, I'm so shy irl, but things are different on the interwebs!
|<youtube>n7kdAw9Zvis</youtube>
;Asexuality is any Troper's response to "I can't get laid."
|<youtube>zdvKqb8yY2M</youtube>
;Gotta tell everyone about my DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS
|<youtube>FX6lZzgH_1s</youtube>
;Let me introduce you to my penis}}
|}}
}}
 
[[Image:ThisTroperAsshole.png|thumb|Fast Eddie, [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WebOriginal/ThisTroper a butthurt asshole].]]
The series even had a TV Tropes page for a prolonged period of time, until Fast Eddie went through the usual process of discovering it, flipping his shit, and deleting it. Apparently you can feel free to abuse the "There Is No Such Thing As Notability" guideline to create pages on all sorts of sick and deranged fan-fiction and glorified loli fanservice shows, but using it to criticize the glorious motherwiki from within is a danger to the community's "good" reputation and needs to be indiscriminately censored for no other reason than "Dear Leader said so."

CrazyGoggs originally set a hard limit of 100 episodes, and the series was actually near its finale when Eddie deleted the article and made the "asshole" remark. Goggs responded by keeping the series alive beyond episode 100. Well played Eddie, well played.

Oh, and you want to see the deleted article? you're in luck link: [[TV_Tropes/Deleted_This_Troper_Article]]. And you want to see the entire series after CrazyGoggs [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|nuked his entire channel?]] {{archiveorg|this-troper-crazygoggs|Then it's your lucky day.}}Of note, [[BAWWW|there are people who don't like the things that are being said]] in the video, so if you want to make sure that CrazyGoggs' videos are never removed from [[Internet|the good old series of tubes]], feel free to download them and upload them when they get ultimately pulled offline for pissing off the tropers' feelings.

== Forums ==
The few Tropers that understand the main wiki itself isn't a forum instead congregate on the official forum. Here is where one finds all the real drama because like any popular [[MMORPG]], it attracts the kind of loser that won't stop whining about the good old days but can't work up the will to either [[stop posting]] or [[An hero|administer 115 grams of lead to their brain.]] It's also where you can witness first-hand the kind of social stagnation the site is bringing to the internet. While there are a couple dozen different sub-boards, only a couple are of any interest:

*'''Trope Repair Shop/Wiki Talk''': Hotbeds of drama where discussions are held to irreversibly fuck up the wiki even more. Nearly all the major dramas stem from topics on these boards. They're also the only ones that Fast Eddie really reads, so those enterprising individuals looking to get a rise out of the big man himself before inevitably getting banned should focus here.
*'''Writer's Block/World Building''': Do you have an original idea you'd like to turn into a massive multimedia empire? Then stay the fuck away from here. All you'll find is the same unoriginal [[magical girl]] hackjob. In between people pitching the same [[weeaboo]] [[science fiction]]/[[fantasy]] retreads, there's the occasionally lulzy thread where they either demand [[constructive criticism]] or ask how to do some blatantly illegal shit because they're "writing a book". You can troll these sections pretty effectively by giving completely honest concrit regardless whether or not they ask for it, proposing blatant satires of tired anime formulas, and offering really bad advice.
*'''On-Topic Conversations''': Sometime after Fast Eddie resigned, this portion of the forums are infested with social justice warriors, complaining about women's issues, "[[racism]]" and sexism in fiction/real-life works. Not so surprisingly those threads are filled with flame wars and [[autistic screeching]].
*'''[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=5cma6iojg5o27puhulc24sje The Edit Banned Thread]''': This is where you go after you get [[banned]] for being anything other than a slobbering fan-boy/girl for one of the popular works spammed across the site and try to suck Fast Eddie's cock hard enough to let you back in. Because of the sheer number of false positives and impulse bans, this thread eclipses all others in pure, undiluted [[lulz]]. Be sure to finish up your latest [[sock puppet]]'s trolling career by making a stop here so you can get your open [[proxy]] the infamous [[Google]] redirect ban and ruin everybody else's fun. '''PROTIP:''' Instead of appealing your ban, point out how ban-appealing exists only to trick their users into not ban evading. Explain how there's no incentive whatsoever to appeal since the site offers no benefits to "[[Permavirgin|Tropers]]" with a long-term history of good editing (no extra perks, no ad-reduction, not even Skinner-Box level shit like "[[Imgur|points]]" or "[[Reddit|karma]]") and therefore it's of no consequence to you if you remain banned. It will generate instant [[lulz]] from whatever [[Faggot|mod]] is [[He does it for free|spending his ronery Saturday]] listening to your appeal since no matter what he does it will prove you right. For additional lulz claim you've already bypassed the ban and are currently editing while "appealing the ban" -- the mods will obsess over all the edits made by new users for the next week or so, probably banning a couple of them in the process for innocent [[newfag]] mistakes.

== Subforums ==
The many different subforums are the lifeblood of the TV Tropes forum, a haven of media-based content and information made by tropers, for tropers. It should come as no surprise, then, that they’re all irredeemably shitty in their own ways. These subforums have additional sub-subforums (which tropers mistakenly refer to as subforums, like true aspie retards). Naturally, tropers form niches, sticking to one or two primary subforums / sub-subforums and rarely venturing past those, most likely out fear of reliving their school days when trying to socialize with anyone other than their imaginary friends would net them a well-earned beating.

=== Just For Fun ===
Arguably the most popular subforum. As the name would imply, its purpose is that of a fun, whimsical, carefree environment where tropers are free to spew all the nonsensical bullshit their media-obsessed little minds can come up with. Unfortunately, rather than a lighthearted forum of fun, it comes closer to being some sort of savage virtual preschool, where [[manchild|manchildren]] roam wild, being constantly policed by inefficient mods that are at any given time either [[Pussy|too lenient]] or [[Asshole|too harsh]].

*'''Yack Fest''': Just For Fun’s main sub-subforum, Yack Fest is basically a TV Tropes version of Something Awful's General [[Bullshit]] subforum, and just like the SA GBS board, it too is filled with inane faggotry, retarded humor, and pathetic troper sob stories.

([[Protip]]: Yack Fest is where the sick fucks of the site compare notes -- except the furries, who have their own <s>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=w0zwbsnmidl5bwrs8mue5yb8 recruitment counter]</s> (gone) and [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=4he2cpuw3ba1det5oxuw4rqi clubhouse] .)

*'''IJBM''' ('''It Just Bugs Me''') - The bitch and moan about fucking everything subforum. Cut by Eddie because he hates negativity. Can be found at its new location, [https://www.itjustbugsme.com/forums/discussions here].

*'''IJAM''' ('''It Just Awes Me''') - The [[Glorious Korea|state-endorsed]] sunshine and rainbows subforum. With IJBM’s deletion, TV Tropes has found itself with two boards dedicated to inanity and pointless gushing with nothing to counteract them. Good going, Eddie.

*'''Troper Covens''' -Social misfits sorting themselves out in this freak show. Also contains TV Tropes' [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=wv320f1s27vtvtnfdf0gq7k7 Music Pirate Club].

*'''Old Folks’ Home''' - IJBM and Yack Fest’s lovechild, and spinoff of [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=9ms40p5nux72wrxajvu56v4u| what may simultaneously be the site’s most worthless and most self-righteous thread]. An angrier, less entertaining Yack Fest more or less.

*'''Wild Mass Guessing''' - The [[batshit insane]] fan theories subforum.

=== Media ===
[[Image:TVTUnpopularOpinion.png|thumb|Mod at work: protecting delicate tropers by weeding out unpopular opinions.]]

The subforum for tropers to discuss media they like and dislike, but mostly just where all of the forum’s flame wars start. Its main purpose is keeping rabid fanboys from ruining the site any further, making the Media subforum pointless as this is pretty much impossible to achieve.

=== Real-ish ===
A.K.A. that one subforum that everyone forgets about. It serves to give the more pretentious tropers (as if they could get more pretentious) a place to showcase their [[shit|awesome]] writing skills and debate everything from politics to religion to how terrible ED is (until Fast Eddie issued an unofficial gag order on that subject too). Its most recognizable board is OTC, which is only notable for its inhabitants hating and being hated by all of the fucktards frequenting the Just For Fun subforum.

=== All Media Recommendations ===
 
[[Image:TVTropes_Media_Recommendations.png|thumb|801px|center|<center><big>'''Hope you like [[animu]] with a dollop of [[vidya games]].'''</big></center>]]
 
== The Gallery of Tropers ==
[[File:TVTropesDox.gif|thumb|Doesn't work any more, but hey: der Fuehrer's IP!]]

[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/TroperTypes Here's their version of this list]. Apparently they piss themselves off, too.

Before going into particular types of Tropers, there are two major groups: those that view the wiki as an encyclopedia and those that view it as a forum. The former are the ones that futilely try to keep the articles clean, free of off-topic bullshit, reasonably [[NPOV]] (or, failing that, positive), understandable by outsiders, and otherwise not full of failure. The latter usually [[fag]] up all the hard work of the former with writing themselves into articles and every other failing imaginable of a wiki while remaining utterly oblivious to their own toxic nature. The former '''HATES''' the latter with the fury of a thousand burning suns.

'''PROTIP''': TV Tropes used to supply IP addresses of all tropers in clear text next to their name, but Fast Eddie finally realized how fucking retarded that was, so he sealed off that potential faucet of lulz. Still, there are other ways to get some Troper [[dox]]. Check out [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/contributor_list.php the list of contributors to find their profile], [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/WhereAreYouFrom this list of Troper locations] (similar to [[ED:Map]]), <s>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/TroperDatingService Troper Dating Service]</s> (BALEETED for being "too creepy to keep around") '''{{archive|hsw4h|(Archived)}}''' (watch out, [[eHarmony]]!), and [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/el.php?findfor=InsertNameHere this wikistalking tool] (replace the placeholder with your chosen target). The IP address of the big man himself (as well as his two socks Janitor and Gus, which he hasn't used for ages) is 216.41.197.137.

=== The Fantard ===
[[File:TroperPleaseNoNatter.jpg|thumb| The average Troper. Even her Kermit doll commits suicide in her presence.]]
The primary source of the vast majority of edits, drama, and failure of the site. [[Fantards]] are not on the site to be good pop culture scholars so much as they find talking about their chosen object of worship in terms of tropes and memes makes them all warm and giddy inside. These people also typically think that their [[opinion]]s become [[fact]] by the simple act of being on a large wiki (this is only true on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]) and start up [[edit wars]] if anyone so much as touches their textual blowjobs.

The most cancerous fantards are affectionately referred to by the site as:

=== The "Entry Pimp" ===
The [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Administrivia/EntryPimp Entry Pimp] views the site as an [[MMORPG]] where they earn experience and gain levels by spamming as much unwarranted praise about their favorite show as possible. Typical Entry Pimp behavior includes [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Administrivia/NotASubversion using vague, near-meaningless buzzwords] and [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Administrivia/SquarePegRoundTrope contriving stupid bullshit] to make their examples fit.

An infamous example of this brand of faggotry is an aspiring author named [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/PaulRobinson Paul Robinson]. Through completely transparent spamming of his unpublished book [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/InstrumentOfGod Instrument of God], he basically inspired nearly all the rules they have concerning acceptable example section style through his antics. Oddly enough, {{wayback|http://www.in-the-matter-of.com/instrument.pdf|20150102023523|title=he actually put a 700+ page draft of his magnum opus online}} and it's about as shitty as you'd expect of a work that somebody had to spam on TV Tropes to get noticed. Another example of this happened in 2014, where a young troper, hijhiysonikku, Entry Pimped her unpublished movie -- ''Pokémon Black and White The Movie''.

=== The Grudgewanker ===
This type of fantard has a raging boner for a work as usual, but rather than wanting to make passionate love, they instead want to [[rape]] it [[in the ass]] like [[Bubba]]. While some might think this would be [[lulz]]y, what they invariably write are basically terrible, unfunny miniature [[attack article]]s for a piece of fiction instead of the boyfriend that dumped their [[loser]] ass. Like the garden variety fantards, they also get in [[edit war]]s over any attempt to remove their bullshit [[grudgewank]].

[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Administrivia/ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontLike TV] [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ComplainingAboutPeopleNotLikingTheShow Tropes] [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch frowns] [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanHater on] [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hatedom this] [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HateDumb faggotry].

=== The Oracle ===
The last time you chose to go to a theater instead of [[Piracy|pirating]] it off [[BitTorrent]], do you remember that asshole sitting in the row behind you? The one that kept trying to predict all the plot twists and when his one in four guesses came true, he would say "I KNEW IT!" and ramble about how those hacks in Hollywood can't come up with anything new these days? Well, TV Tropes helps this retard research all the possible plot twists and conventions while giving him a vocabulary of near-meaningless buzzwords so he can irritate you even more than the crying baby in front of you. Thank you, TV Tropes. You're a real benefit to society.

=== The [[Memefag]] ===
Belonging firmly in the "wiki as forum" camp, these are people who think TV Tropes is 4chan and feels the need to add at least a dozen of the memes from [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Memes/TVTropes here] to all of their text. They typically talk about their lives in terms of tropes, pothole "ironic" statements, and perpetrate cancers like "I Am Not Making This Up". To them, a joke that was funny five times is absolutely funny five thousand times and thus they leave behind a trail of total [[unfunny]]. Unlike on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], these users typically never get banned or even so much as notified and other users have to waste their precious time cleaning up their diarrhea.

=== The Obstructive Purist ===
Mostly frequenting the various administrative sections, these are people who think the site is exactly perfect as a pretentious lit-crit version of 4chan and any attempt to make it useful and accessible to normal human beings is a corruption of all the ideals that the site stands for. They're the ones that oppose every single action for no other reason than "change is bad", constantly talk about "the fun being sucked out of the site", act as though "because I like it this way" is a valid reason not to do anything, abuse red tape and undermine the system to prevent anything from happening while accusing the same of everyone else, derail topics into personal [[flame war]]s, and generally just retard all growth of the site through their faggotry. They cannot argue for shit and generally rely on an "us vs. them" mentality to do anything at all. Because the administration has decided that the default action to any inconclusive topic is locking the thread and doing absolutely nothing, it's completely in their favor to be as obstructive, belligerent, confusing, and incendiary as possible to try and wear down everyone else in order to prevent anything from happening, evar.

[[Poe's Law|The line between a complete serious purist and a really effective troll does not exist]].

=== The Creepy Fuck ===
{{Quote|Miss Piggy. Why, Frank Oz?! Why must you put a falsetto, male voice on a plus-size pig and make her the most attractive character on-stage?!?!|{{wayback|http://fetishfuel.wikia.com/wiki/The_Muppet_Show|20141206120037|title=A typical Troper admitting his/her lust}} (off-site host; see [[TV Tropes#Fetish Fuel and Troper Tales Deletion.2FDeportation|here]])}}
 
Along with pandering to way too serious [[fantard]]s, TV Tropes has also become a haven for nearly every group of social deviants imaginable. Along with the expected [[paraphilia]]cs that [[fap]] to [[Rule 34]] of their favorite work, the site also hosts tons of [[transexual]]s, [[furries]], [[otherkin]], and every other imaginable mass mental fuck-up. They used to hang out on the Fetish Fuel pages and generally follow [[the xchan effect]]. Now that Fetish Fuel is no more, they continue to pollute the forums and have nerdy cybersex. Rather than embarking on a mass cleansing of these heretics, Fast Eddie instead encourages them by banning everyone that makes even the slightest gesture of [[fursecution]].

[[Image:MadrugadaPedo.png|thumb|Even your mod is a child-porn apologist. '''Where is your god now?''']]

But the crown jewel of TV Tropes's perversity must be the large constituency of [[pedophile]]s: TV Tropes is likely the last public forum where the scum of the Earth can share their love of child sex without reprisal, even acting superior to "moral fags" who want to clamp down lolicon. However, as an open display of their deviant tendencies would cause Google Ads to cut off the money supply instantly, Fast Eddie had to delete/lock pedophilic articles such as '''{{archive|4Ode2|Lolicon}}''', '''{{archive|XJtko|Shotacon}}''' (and their Troper Tales), [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllPedophilesAreChildMolesters All Pedophiles Are Child Molesters] (an anti-[[Party Van]] rant tinted with [[Victim Complex]]), and [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PaedoHunt Paedo Hunt]. Ever since, pedo tropers have been [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=12922529160A74746600&page=29 screaming] [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13064126940A56000100 persecution], as the rest of the community silently watch on, for fear that doing the right thing will harm the harmonious, no-bile atmosphere of TV Tropes.

{{cg|Someone please think of the poor pedos!|PedoGallery|center|<gallery>
Image:TroperThoughtCrime.png|Cartoon pedophila is a THOUGHT CRIME!! BAWWWWWW!!
Image:PedoTroperBeingOppressed.png|Being shunned by society for wanting to fuck kids is totally the same thing as being subjected to [[racism]] and political oppression!
Image:TroperAgeConsent.png|Whenever Tropers [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=12937514950A41175900&page=1 discuss] [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13064776120A57400100&page=1 Age of Consent], [[Pedobear]] is creaming his fur.
Image:TVsezurthebadguy.png|You heard it here first, folks. If you think sexualizing children is wrong, it means YOU are the bad guy, according to TV Tropes.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:TroperPedoPuke.png| My pedo story got deleted! Free speech is DEAD! I want to puke now!
Image:TroperFailArgument.png| Didn't you want to fuck kids when you were 13?!
Image:TroperChildHater.png| Because all sexual whims must be honored and commercialized, and you're a CHILD HATER if you don't jerk off to child porn.
Image:AllPedosAreMolesters.png|Persistent pedos are persistent.
Image:TroperLoliThigh.png|Appreciating 11-year-old loli thighs like a connoisseur.
Image:TroperTeacherStudentRelationship.png|There's nothing wrong with teacher-student "romance", even if the girl is below 12, and sex is just natural.
Image:GoogleLoliCensored.PNG|Damn Google! I want my loli back!
Image:SakuraRapeIsLove.png|[[Cardcaptor Sakura]]. Rape Is Love.
Image:KillingForLoli.png|He is referring to the Tokyo Youth Bill 156, the so-called "Loli-ban". Apparently child porn is so worth killing for.
Image:KidsAreOK.png|I like'em young, but not ''too'' young.
Image:TVTRapeSchoolgirl.png|I'd bet "Loli Hitler" is a fat old ugly man.
File:Chagen46Rape.png|[[Chagen46]], nuff said.

</gallery>}}
 
=== Gallery of Lulz ===
Instead, feel free to add quotes and screencaps rather than writing boring, repetitive biographies on fucking everybody that ever used the Get Known function. [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell Show, don't tell], people.

<center>'''Exhibit A'''</center>

<center>
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest1|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;|They are just a bunch of neckbeards sitting at their computers talking shit about people. Why pay any mind to them? It's not like anyone reads ED anyway...|—AHR on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]|What is it about diaper fetishism that turns normal people into sly bigots?

Ever since I outed myself, I can't go a single discussion without someone saying some kind of deragatory comment about it. I think I'm the only one on this fora who has been subject to slander against my fetish. We can have [[guro]] fans,macrophiliacs, and [[fat]] fetishists, but how fucking dare you have a diaper fetish. Heaven forbid. Seriously, people, it's a god damn underwear fetish. Now please, someone tell me just what makes a lingerie fetish different from a diaper fetish. They're both underwear fetishes. Yet one is accepted and one isn't. I'm getting sick of the "creepy" comments. Let me live my life the way I please.|[[Chagen46]]|I wish there was a Huggies size that fit me...|Chagen46, because he just has to bring his diaper fetish up every chance he gets.|I'm not the most sane or stable person out there.|Chagen46, showing remarkable insight|I'm crying right now. I'm fucking crying tears in real life.|Chagen46|This post was thumped by the Codfish in a Derby Hat|How most of Chagen's posts end up.|Not like I need real women anyway. I have my [[Animu|2D]] ones. [[Dying alone|At least they love me]]|Chagen46.|But feeling miserable makes me feel better.|Chagen46.|Look god dammit, it was the first time I ever actually gave a shit about somebody besides myself. The first time I fell in love. And it was crushed. Crushed beyond all fucking repair. You don't recover from that. You don't.

You guys are just convincing me to abandon all romance entirely. Which I should. No girl would want a nice guy like me anyway.|Chagen46. Keep in mind, he's talking about someone he only knew online.|AUGH ME SO HORNY|90% of all of Chagen46's comments.|So I guess we should just enslave all them dumb niggers again, huh?|Chagen46|Shit, if I met a transgendered person in real life, I'd be inclined to stay as far away from them as possible.|Chagen46. Wait for it...|I usually am Male Gender/Male Sex

Now I'm Female Gender/Male Sex for no reason at all.|Chagen46: a hypocritical, perverted, racist, self-absorbed, whiny, annoying little fag. In other words, the model Troper!|How else shall I hug [[Mai_Waifu|my waifus]] as I realiize with extreme despair that I am a pathetic [[Otaku]] who seriously needs a life?

I'll be fucking that pillow and crying at the same time. Well, mostly fucking it.|Chagen46|...honestly think that we won't be seeing any sequel to the cartoon now. This movie really is that bad. I'm just, right now I am kind of in a state of shock - '''I really loved the cartoon, really really loved it, and seeing it treated in this way is like, to be truthful, it is like watching my sister get raped, or maybe slightly worse'''. At least if my sister was getting raped, I wouldn't have to pay money for it, you know?

Just, God man, why did they let Shyamalan anywhere near the franchise? His movie repertoire is awful, he had no experience with anything like an epic action adventure movie, and frankly he is a bit of an egomaniac who likes to put himself into his movies. So what if his kids were fans of the show? You know what, I am a fan of the show, why can't they make me the freakin' director?! God I just don't even understand things anymore. Let's just hope that Shyamalan's career is over forever, and that maybe they will do an animated movie or something once the negative press dies down|Bioelectricclam on the [[Avatar: The Last Airbender]] movie. Apparently, watching his own sister get [[rape]]d is just as bad as watching that movie|'''LEEEROYYYYY JEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIINS!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA~! COME AND GET ME, LIFE!''' I'LL LIFT YOU, AND YOU LIFT ME, AND WE'LL BOTH ASCEND TOGETHER!!! '''~LOVE&PEACE!~'''|The forum's token retard, TheMightyAnonym|YOU SHOW YOUR FACE HERE AGAIN AND I'LL '''TEAARRR YOU LIMB FROM LLLIIIIIIMMMBBB!!!!!!'''

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! '''LOOK AT MY FACE YOU COWARD! IT'S THE FACE OF THE MOST POWERRFULLLL HAM IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOORRRRLLLD!|TheMightyAnonym'''|Cut your hand off. Or kill yourself. Not sure how well the second suggestion would work since i'm not sure if there's an afterlife or not. Bind your hand into something. Traumatize yourself by stabbing pencils into your palm.|Edmania, giving advice on drawing.|Also, if it cries, duct tape the mouth or something.|Edmania, proving once and for all that insane, closeted asian pedophile fags make excellent parents.}}|border=teal|background=white}}

'''Exhibit B'''

{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest2|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;|I FUCKING HATE NAIL POLISH Partially because it reminds me of whores. And it's UGLY|Chagen46, raging over porn.|I felt a great deal of euphoria during my first "kiss".|TheMightyAnonym, because it's totally normal to equate drinking off of someone else's water bottle to kissing them.|I...I don't feel too good...

I think...oh god, I'm near crying right now. I hope this thread can cheer me up....|Chagen46, confirming that the internet is an acceptable substitute for actual friends / a psychiatrist.|If anything, I think that it may be based on the "popular perception" that Literary Criticism is a bunch of intellectuals (and intellectual poseurs) who spend their time picking literary works to pieces, with a whole jargon that they use as buzzwords, to make themselves sound smarter.|Madrugada, not realizing the irony of this statement|Why god dammit why.

I think I might kill myself. I have nothing left to live for. Nothing. I lost all my friends, m home, my place that kept me sane throughout this horror of real life.

I lost everything. I have nothing left.|[https://itjustbugsme.com/forums/discussion/849/i-miss-tvtropes-already./#Item_18 Chagen, on (finally) being banned from TVTropes.]|Shit....I lost everything. I'm fucked. I might as well pop a bullet in my head.|Chagen, [[DO IT FAGGOT]]!|Reminds me of the time I wrote a sexfic about Cat in the Hat in 6th grade.|Vorpy. Just replace "wrote a sexfic about Cat in the Hat in 6th grade" with something equally retarded and you too can post like Vorpy!|[[Wut|I dislike rape Because I would rather not wish I was somewhere else.]]|Vorpy|blow your fucking brains out with a shotgun, kurt cobain style, you piece of shit.|Vorpy, [[An Hero|actually making sense for a change.]]
}}|border=teal|background=white}}

{{cg|Exhibit C|uggoGallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Nicktheswing-usi.PNG|I'm gonna make lots of money and take down ED! I'll show you all! You'll see!
Image:Starprincess801_ED_cleanup_funny.png|[[Starprincess801]] suggesting ways to make your beloved ED funnier. No comment.
Image:Tvtropespuristrage.jpg|"Her name is NOT Mint! It's "Minto"! Get it right, you homophobic bigot!"
Image:TVTropesOneOffEDSock.png|{{Chanban}}
Image:TVTropesBras.png|An Idiot's Guide to Breast Size, courtesy of TV Tropes.
Image:TroperHatingEveryone.png|Fast Eddie's no-bile policy does not stop tropers hating everyone under the sun.
Image:TroperDIYCastration.png|Your fellow Tropers are your reliable guides to [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13040604210A98755700&page=0 DIY castration].
Image:TroperAndRabbit.png|"I'm a virgin and I wanna know how to fuck a rabbit...it's a research for my new book of course."
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:TropersPunchWomen2.png|Tropers sharing tips on [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=12942894560A91157100&page=1 kicking the bitch] back to the kitchen.
Image:TroperSelection.png|Smaller women have an reproductive edge because they can't fight off rape!
Image:TVTropesTrollPosts.png|The first and third posts are immediately labeled "Troll Posts" and thumped.
Image:FastEddieHatesMultiquotes.png|Fast Eddie: multi-quotes is a universally-recognized sign of trolls! This proves beyond all doubts he is batshit insane. [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13022773780A86244600&page=23 See also]
Image:TroperOnMonaLisa.png|That Mona Lisa ho just doesn't have a faptastic silicone ass!
Image:TVTSmartAspie.png|Cool story Aspie!
Image:AutisticKid.png|You should be glad that tropers won't live to reproduce.
Image:TroperAutism.png|Autism (and Troperism) is the next step in human evolution.
Image:TVTParricide.png|I don't fantasize killing my parents, how about you?
Image:TVTAttentionWhore.png|Successful Attention Whore is successful. Protip: forget Google; look for suicide ideas in ED.
Image:TroperOslo.png|Troper on the [[Anders Behring Breivik|Oslo massacre]]: the kids who died are political elites who must pay for their privilege in blood!
Image:HeatExhausion.png|This is how tropers research for their masterwork.
Image:HellHasn'tEarnedMyTears.png|Getting [[Emo]] over schoolbus.
Image:TVTStoner.png|Things get ugly when [[Pepe|Feels good man]] doesn't feel so good.
Image:TroperDefendingSnuff.png|"Snuff films is completely legitimate pieces of work, guise! I mean, you can like ''write'' stuff about them."
Image:TroperDefendingSnuff2.png|"Standards? Please, this is TV Tropes."
Image:Colormeangry.jpg|Tropers know how to bow out gracefully
Image:Colormeangry.png|
</gallery>}}
</center>
 
== Drama Sagas ==
Unlike sites where trolling has become semi-acceptable, TV Tropes is very fast to ban and censor people that might cause any real drama before their hard work can pay off. Instead, nearly all the real lulz come from unpopular administrative decisions... which is basically all of them.

And, since this shitty website has been such a massive font of lulz, we had to put all the lulzy drama on another page because there was so much of it.

<center>[[TV Tropes Drama|Enter here and read on if you dare........]]</center>

[[Image:Hypocr.png|center]]

== See also ==
*[[Nate Spidgewood]] - TV Tropes' successfully removed cancer.
*[[Feminist Frequency]]
*[[Chekhov's Gun]]
*[[DO NOT WANT]]
*[[Popular culture]]
*[[In popular culture]] - TV Tropes is basically this aspect of [[Wikipedia]] turned into its own wiki.
*[[DeviantART]] - Another site full of obnoxious [[weeaboo]] [[fantard]]s, retarded drama, and where "criticism" is a dirty word.
*[[Starprincess801]] - Goes by the name "[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/DarkLadyCelebrian Dark Lady Celebrian]" on TV Tropes.
*[[Iconoclast]] - [[Redneck]] [[Sick fuck]] who calls himself [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/HaggisMcCrablice Haggis McCrablice] on TV Tropes and has been subjected to the This Troper treatment twice '''{{ytlink|iOVa5UvSC_A|1}}''' '''{{ytlink|1X_lcdbEBeI|2}}'''
*[[Chagen46]] - Paranoid schizophrenic [[fag|homophobic bisexual]] [[lolicon]] diaper-fetishist, and (banned) troper.
*[[The Unknown Autobot]] - [[Fat]] [[basement-dwelling]] [[aspie]] who uses trope names in every day conversation. Complete with his own [[gay|badass]] longcoat.
*[[Colonel McBadass]] - An obese, sociopathic pedophile who got perma-banned for telling an underage girl that she should have no problem with adults hitting on her.
*[[TV Tropes/Horrible Fanfics]]
*[[TV Tropes/LightningWarriorRaidy]]
*[[TV Tropes/Rance]]
*[[TV Tropes/Xchange]]
*[[TV Tropes Response To Pedocide]]
**[[TV_Tropes/NAUGHTY_TENTACLES]] - The birthplace of the April 2012 Pedocide
*[[PmWiki]] - Go here to learn hilarious ways to fuck with the codebase of TV Tropes.

== External links ==
*[https://tvtropes.org/ TV Tropes]
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/topics.php TV Tropes Forum]
*[https://www.themarysue.com/tv-tropes-rape-articles/ Tv tropes removed rape articles 2012]
*[https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/TV_Tropes Uncyclopedia on TV Tropes]: You know a site fails when [[Uncyclopedia]] of all things is able to perfectly nail everything that's wrong with it.
*<s>[http://tropesmirrorwiki.org/ TV Tropes Mirror]</s>: Created by a disgruntled troper. There are at most 3 active members. May or may not get [[DMCA]]'d since TV Tropes could be easily defended as a trademark. (dead) '''{{archive|ibTEM|(Archived)}}'''
*[https://itjustbugsme.com/forums/discussions/p1 The new IJBM]: WARNING: gibberish ahead.
*<s>[http://beyondthelampshade.org/index.php One is never enough; ex-tropers need multiple sites to bitch on.]</s> (dead) '''{{archive|1X2g1|(Archived)}}'''
*'''{{blog|tvtropeshistory|Some guy's TL;DR comment on various TVTropes dramas}}'''
*[https://sarahlicity.co.uk/2011/04/16/the-failure-and-ridicule-of-tv-tropes/ Another dissatisfied troper.]
*'''{{fandomlink|tropedia|Tropedia|The Tropes Mirror Wiki, a Wikia version of TV Tropes that hosts the lulzier pages TV Tropes tried to eliminate from the internets.}}'''
**<s>[http://ro.tropes.wikia.com/wiki/Tropes_%C3%AEn_Rom%C3%A2n%C4%83_Wiki Romanian version.]</s> (gone)
**<s>[http://de.tropes.wikia.com/wiki/Tropes_Wiki German version.]</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://de.tropes.wikia.com/wiki/Tropes_Wiki|20141206120202|title=(Archived)}}
**[https://editthis.info/Tv_tropes/Main_Page Editthis mirror]
*<s>[http://fetishfuel.wikia.com/wiki/Fetish_Fuel_Wiki Where most of the Fetish Fuel wound up after it was banhammered off TV Tropes]</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://fetishfuel.wikia.com/wiki/Fetish_Fuel_Wiki|20160407185435|title=(Archived)}}
*<s>[http://tropertales.wikkii.com/wiki/Main_Page Wiki for the now deleted Tropers Tales.]</s> (dead) '''{{archive|PF7OJ|(Archived)}}'''
**<s>[http://tropertales.wikia.com/wiki/Troper_Tales_Wiki Wikia Tropers Tales Archive.]</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://tropertales.wikia.com/wiki/Troper_Tales_Wiki|20111016183435|title=(Archived)}}
**<s>[http://216.151.212.47/pmwiki/tropertales.zip HTTP download of the archived Tropers Tales]</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://216.151.212.47/pmwiki/tropertales.zip|20130827024546|title=(Archived)}} and a <s>[https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/15862457/tropertales_Archives.zip mirror.]</s> (dead) {{wayback|https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/15862457/tropertales_Archives.zip|20141206120117|title=(Archived)}}
*[https://thepiratebay.org/description.php?id=7359083 An entire site rip of every page on TV Tropes]
**[https://kickasstorrents.to/tv-tropes-siterip-2012-06-t6454367.html Mirror torrent link for TV Tropes site rip]
*<s>[http://www2.zippyshare.com/v/62844083/file.html The complete forum and page source of some shit called "TV Tropes The TV Show" for download on Zippyshare]</s> (dead)
*<s>[https://www.famfamfam.com/lab/icons/silk/famfamfam_silk_icons_v013.zip All the icons used on Eddie's webshit can be found here]</s> - '''Fun Fact''': The icon pack readme states that the author wants people who use the icons to post a notice somewhere on their site acknowledging use of the icons. Guess what Eddie hasn't done. (dead) {{wayback|https://www.famfamfam.com/lab/icons/silk/famfamfam_silk_icons_v013.zip|20170702185802|title=(Archived)}}
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Korodzik This page contains links to tons of shit Eddie baleeted]
 
{{Pedoseries}}
{{sj}}
{{Television}}
{{TV Tropes}}
{{Wikis}}
{{fanfic}}

[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
[[Category:Furfaggotry]]

Aywas

2024-08-11T06:00:42Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long. I do, however, deem it in need of a cleanup.

{{cleanup}}
{{Infoboxcompany
|company_name={{PAGENAME}}
|company_logo=[[File:Awyas_logo.png|200px]]
|company_type=[[Pokemon|Virtual]] [[NeoPets|Pet]] [[Subeta|Simulation]] [[Shit|Website]]
|foundation= Autumn 2009
|location=Internet
|key_people= Slash - Founder, [[Fellatio|BeeJay]], Frey.
|motto= ''[[Lies|Free]] collectible pets to find and [[rape|capture]]!''
|industry= Faggotry
|products= [[Drama]], glitches, failure at coding and [[complaints]].
|homepage= http://www.aywas.com/
}}

[[Common knowledge|It is widely known]] that the [[internet]] is swimming with [[GOTHS|copious]] [[USI|quantities]] of [[Cancer|corrosive]] [[AIDS|contagions]] that [[Rape|creep]] into [[Fact|every user that dares to step in]]. Among these [[GRIDS|diseases]] are [[Neopets|virtual]] [[Wajas|pet]] [[Masturbation|simulation]] sites: [[gay sex|public baths]] created by and made for [[furries]], [[16 year old girls]], and [[asspies]]. Unsurprisingly, each pet site ends up being a [[Copypasta|rip-off]] of the last, trying desperately to Jew as much jewgolds as possible from their [[Retard|userbase]] by offering overpriced features that offer [[Truth|absolutely nothing of value]], online or off.

'''Aywas''' [[Bullshit|is no exception]]. Actually, it might be worse than every other shit site combined. Like the rest of those unoriginal, [[Work safe|bland]] websites, the [[Faggots|staff of Aywas]] [[Shit|has managed to make an entire game]] out of screwing each of its brainless users out of every penny they own.

What sets Aywas apart from the [[Neopets|competition]] is... oh yeah. Nothing. You can [[Beastiality|breed your pets]], [[Trace|have their lineart changed]], and many other [[Rape|awesome things]], as long as you don't mind paying out the ass.

If there isn't enough [[wank]]ery here for ya, check out [http://aywasconfessions.tumblr.com/ Aywas Confessions], where users can say anything that they want [[anon]]ymously. Of course, it's usually pretty easy to figure out who's who. There's one other [[tumblr]]: [http://lolaywas.tumblr.com/ lolAYWAS] in which one user collects the nonsense of the rest of the site...

__TOC__
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==The Site itself==

Aywas, like the rest of the virtual pet simulation websites on the internet, has made its sole purpose to steal money from its [[Furry|retarded]] [[16 year old girl|userbase]]. The goal of Aywas is to [[Pokemon|capture, buy, and collect the various species and color schemes available]], and to [[Unrealistic Expectations|achieve such a goal]] one must fork out the dough. Oddly enough, this community’s business sense resembles that of children's politics: “My daddy is bigger than yours, so I get ''all'' the candy”. In this case, the “candy” would be tiny, pixelated creatures with [[Zeriara|hideous designs]], [[Branca|poor lineart]], [[SapphyDracases|shoddy coloring]], and [[Trufax|cost enough to feed a Somalian village for a year]].

[[File:Tayzer_luls.png|thumb|Shake the naughty finger of justice!]]

You are expected to try and make the [[Fursona|sexiest pet]] on the site and then brag about it to others because you [[Asking for it|totally earned it]]. The site also updates every month with several new pets that you can purchase via – you guessed it - real money! Because it’s [[Bullshit|totally worth]] paying $10 for a [[Retard|tiny pixilated furfag on the internet]].

The site was [[Shit|founded]] by [[Slashfic|Slash]], an indecisive faggot, late in 2009 because all of the other [[Porn|virtual pet sites]] were [[Uncyclopedia|"too boring"]]. Slash demonstrated her [[Stupid|superior decision-making ability]] when she revealed that she hired [[Troll|Qwayzar]], a coder, paying $5000 to code Aywas. ''IN ADVANCE.'' Stroke of sheer genius there. Qwayzar coded minor shifts so that everything could function with HIS framework. He then grew bored of Slash's bitching and lack of originality and quit, saying it was because he wanted to “[[Masturbation|work for himself]]”. It is also painfully apparent that Qwayzar’s work was [[Shit|sub-par]], being quoted as worth no more than $15. It was soon discovered that fixing his sloppy coding would cost approximately '''$5000'''. Because of this [[Abortion|botched birth]], the site came out [[Down Syndrome|horribly disfigured]], and the [[Fags|site staff]] tried to Jew as much money as they can out of the users in order to pay for the [[Drugs|corrective surgery]], which honestly isn't much of an improvement.

However, now that the site has been released as version three, Slash constantly has the coding team (havng hired an actual company this time instead of some [[retard|tech school drop-out]] working on ways to make Aywas more like [[Facebook]] istead of fixing glaring usage problems that have been around for [[over 9000|several]] months. This includes several promises to make the site faster, which usually results in Gateway Errors every two clicks and never actually generates any speed. This is okay for the gaming section, at least, since any time a user actually does something quickly, Aywas throws a Captcha at them, obviously assuming that Aywas users have spent too much money on their Sparkledogs to afford anything other than dial up.

==Pets==
[[File:RAREST_FAGGOTRY_EVER.png|thumb|The rarest pet of the site. You want it. YOU WANT IT.]]
There are several Aywas species that resemble real life animals. For example, [[Sea Kittens|“gael”]] instead of fish, and “melo” instead of cat-dog-thing. These totally original species have blossomed to a total of more than seventy, ripping off everything from [[Pokemon]] to [[Neopets]] to the real world. Nothing is actually that original, which Slash tries to make up with quantity. To make things even more confusing, these pets require a variety of different items to create and/or breed them. Despite the fact that this clusterfuck is a site-created hazard, any user daring to get confused and breed pets with the wrong item will not have that item returned to them (unless they're friends with Slash, of course).

A majority of these creatures are found by [[Pokemon|exploring the world and catching them]] with virtual equipment. Of course, none of these are worth anything, since the site makes them rediculously easy to collect. Other species are so special that you can only get them through lucky “zaps”, random potions and items, through chance (i.e. chancing to be a friend of an admin), or by purchasing expensive custom items.

One feature with real possibility, and the real reason most users play this site instead of [[Wajas]], is the ability to completely customize your pet. However, like everything else on the site, users must pay depending on the breed, the percentage of edits, and Skitty's mood. And this is only to create the pet. First you have to buy the art, which is not provided by the site, and thereby makes decent artists nearly invincible. Due to the user to artist ratio, well-drawn pets can cost anywhere from $20-$200 (with the most expensive piece of [[shit|art]] going for over $400). As a result, it costs anywhere most users entire paycheck to get a single [[copypasta|unique]] pet.

To further draw in new users, these pets are actually breedable. The theory is amazing: breed pets A & B and get new pets with design elements of each. They've even outlawed lazy breeding known as overlaying. Of course, in reality, nothing is ever that perfect. Due to the minuscule payrate, Aywas has no way to [[bribe|attract]] the good artists, meaning that breedings - arguably the most complex feature on the site - are handled by second-rate scribblers and egotists that may talk a good game, but can't art for shit. This has led to increased amounts of displeasure from the userbase as more and more breedings clog up the plumbing, and the drowning artists shit out a barely acceptable [[babby]]s with a minimal amount of effort, in the shortest amount of time. 'Shortest amount of time' meaning about four months. The complaints over the long wait and varying quality resulted in Slash allowing users to submit their own breeding predictions, further making artists indefensible site gods that can get away with just about anything short of shitting directly on Slash's chest and then banging her mother and selling the tapes on [[eBay]].

It is worth mentioning that users are not allowed to submit hybrid (i.e. more expensive) pet predictions unless they buy another expensive item (yes, this site charges you to save the staff time and effort). Even then, this item is often ignored if the user takes "too long" (a couple weeks, compared to the site's four months). At this point they intentionally produce poor-quality offspring, though it's hard to tell with the shit the hybrid artists have been producing. Whereas these breedings were once the only way to receive gorgeous art from the site, all the good artists left when they realized that they could make more money selling designs on the marketplace, with the added plus that they are no longer working for Slash, these $50-$75 babies are now some of the laziest, ugliest, most horrible pieces of crap on the site... and that's including mutants.

Those users who still want a surprise when receiving their custom offspring occasionally still risk using the site staff for their breedings. The surprise usually comes when they receive their new pixel pets with stray lines, poor edits, and bad coloration (experts estimate that only about 10% of all site-produced babies are actually decent-looking). Should the user want to complain about the poor edits, the site maintains a thread in which to post maimed babies. Of course, this thread is hardly ever open due to the massive amount of complaints. If a user actually does manage to post, they are most often dismissed by Frey who says that she thinks they are perfectly alright, or the problems are blamed on the user for either providing a shitty .psd, or not sending one in at all (though it's a well-known fact that even if a user has sent in a .psd, the artists commonly delete them for absolutely no reason).

==Key People (and pretty much anyone that delivers Teh Lulz)==
[[File:Slashfennec.png|thumb|Slash is such a guy.]]
*'''Slash''' – Known for begging for money ever since she wasted it all on shit coding. Slash’s gender is widely [[File:slash_hatesu.png|thumb|left|Slash likes NO ONE.]] known to be female, though she insists on being called male because it makes her sound more SRS. Debates are
often waged on whether or not to call Slash male or female. Pictures confirm that Slash is both female and a [[beaner]]. Slash also uses Aywas as her own personal kingdom and will ban members for no reason at all, or let her friends get away with murder. Aywas is basically a giant masturbatory shrine to her ttly [[Plagiarism|original]] [[gay|fag-tastic]] RP characters, and is an excuse to have art drawn of them. One [[bored|brave]] user finally posted a litany of Slash-woes on Aywas Confessional explaining why no one likes Slash... and no one (except the newbies and suck-ups) was at all surprised. Check out their eight reasons [http://aywasconfessions.tumblr.com/post/30486418749/heres-one-explanation here].
Fun facts about Slash include:
#Slash does not like animals, but created a pet site because they are popular and generate a lot of money.
#She only wants a fennec fox because they turn heads. Better than a fucking chihuahua.
#When her ball pythons didn't get enough attention, Slash bought a kitten for more attention.
#Slash hates people and can't stand talking ot them. She doesn't like Aywas, she just likes money.
#The main reason she claims to be male is to create confusion, inspire respect through intimidation, and laugh her ass off over user debates.
[[File:slash_usingAyfunds.png|thumb|Hm, wonder where our donations are going...]]
#Spends massive amounts of Aywas-generated money on character-art. Makes 10's of thousands of dollars a month, but still claims not to be able to pay staff.
#Claims to have ultra-conservative viewpoints that are in no way mirrored in the way she role-plays her faggy characers.
[[File:Beeejayfurry.jpg|thumb|left|BeeJay's true face. SRSLY.]]
*'''BeeJay/[[Blowjob|BJ]]''' - Known for being the PMSing bitch of the site due to being rude, impatient and abrupt. In 2010 BJ finally got sick of Slash's bullshit and left her position as second-in-command. She still remains above the rules, despite no longer being a staff member, as she gets to make passive aggressive comments about people and break shop rules without punishment. If you point this out to her, you are somehow the bad guy. She's also recently moved in to share a lair with Airr/Basil/Charm (see below), who she has previously called a spoiled brat. Interesting.
*'''Frey''' - Frey is big on playing the favorites game. In instances where a friend of hers is in an argument with someone else, the friend will always come out on top... even if said friend is very obviously in the wrong. In one instance, Chunkio agreed to a breeding with one very clear rule stating that if she wanted to breed with that pet, she would offer one of the two offspring to the owner at a reasonable price. She got first pick, but would have to offer one pet. When the babies came in, Chunkio decided that she wanted to keep both. The bred pet's owner reminded her of the rules, at which point Chunkio threw a bitch-fit claiming that she hadn't understood the rules (despite saying that she had read, understood, and accepted them prior to the breeding, and admitting that she understood again when she asked to keep both despite the rules), and proceeded to curse out the other user. Despite the fact that she didn't curse back, Chunkio reported her. The situation ended up being taken to Frey who, surprise-surprise, sided with Chunkio - her friend - against the other user whom Frey was well-known to dislike. Chunkio was told to keep the offspring while the other user was warned despite having very clear rules. Feeding Frey's huge [[ass|ego]] is her position as head of the breeding department. This means that when people she doesn't like find blatant errors on their customs, she claims that it's not (and could never be) a staff mistake and that she likes it, so the user should too. According to Frey, users should pay $23-$75 to get ugly pixel pets with glaring problems and be happy about it... because she said so.
*'''Airr''' - Likes to add herself into ED articles. Was a popular user and great artist; however, she left because she was busted abusing her breeding privileges, and came back under the name of "Basil". It was rumored that she finally got tired of the Slash's idiocy, but she probably started that herself.
*'''Airr / Charm / Basil''' Despite claiming otherwise, these cave-mates / friends are probably all the same person. See above.
*'''Mokitty''' - Mokitty is well-known for her bizarre custom creations. Likely she was made a moderator because Slash wanted access to all of her art before it could be sold elsewhere. Ever since Mo became a mod her custom creations have become nonexistent. Perhaps she now feels popular enough that she doesn't have to pump out thousands of [[b|/b/]]-inspired creatures that were really never all that funny in the first place.
*'''WyrGecko''' - Well-known as keeping a lair full of Every. Single. Aywa. on the market. Despite her collection, her taste in customs is disgusting, consisting of nothing other than neon-green critters reminiscent of Nickelodeon's Slime.
*'''Skitty''' - Once known as both a nice and fair user, once she took on her modship she went batshit insane. Shity has the OH-SO-IMPORTANT job of deciding which crystal a custom will use, and thus how much it will cost to make. But don't worry, as long as you are lodged safely up her ass you can get away with ANYTHING! The more she likes you, the more you can edit the stock lineart and still keep it in 'bronze crystal (or 'we-[[raep]]-your-wallet-less') range. Members such as Ryou are well-known for getting heavily modded pets as bronze. There have even been situations where pets with the same exact lineart will be gaged as different crystals, depending on who submitted them. Skitty has a [http://skittycatz.tumblr.com/ tumbluuuur] to deliver extra [[lolz]] for those willing to sift for it.
*'''Zebby''' - Despite not being a mod, Zebby is well-known for her love of orange. She is so well-liked by the mods that Slash created an orange day in honor of her, in which a variety of orange pets were released in her name (obviously Slash doesn't play favorites or anything, right?). She keeps a [http://www.hidingbehindhyper.blogspot.com/ public blog] badmouthing various users of Aywas, for which she is never punished.
*'''graymare''' - Being colorblind doesn't keep graymare from lording over breeding predictions. The current theory is that she auto-denies 75% of all [[babby|babbies]]... Unless you're her BFFE. See more on this hag below.
*'''Brianna''' - #268, not to be confused with others of the same name. This snitty artist posted a well-read rant complaining about how artists make so much money off of pet premades featuring very little difference between them (such as the rampant use of hue-sliding). Less than a week later, her sales thread features exactly that: a bunch of expensive, crappy pets with no difference aside from color. Next, she decided to fix her reputation by copying popular Aywas artists such as Youko and Kitt with near-traces. After getting a [[pussy|stern]] talking-to from the mods, she then adds insult to injury by promising to sell a limited amount of these pets, and then proceeding to do the exact opposite and THEN taking commissions for the same lines. The mods became sooooooo [[hypocrite|angry]] with her that she was hired as a BC breeding artist. Everyone was then [[raeg|surprised]] that she produces low-quality babies with the bare minimum for edits and, if the breeder is lucky enough to get two, near-twins.
*'''Eri & Dew''' - Eri has consistently been well liked. At the end of 2011, a site wide cheer arose when Slash stated that she would be taking some time off during which time Eri would be in control. The only complaints have come from those benefiting from Slash's rampant favoritism.
[[File:havok_baw.png|thumb|left|Pooooor Havok]]
*'''Havok''' - Is so far up Slash's ass that she is currently only seen as a couple of toes sticking out the admin's rectum. One of the site's most obvious brown-nosers, Havok immediately starts to [[BAW]] should someone say anything that even remotely disagrees with "her" (i.e. Slash's) opinion. She also claims to be 'psychotic' and 'insane', which might be true except that every time she types up another sordid rant about her life, it sounds like something out of a bad episode of Law & Order: SVU. Because, clearly, someone who is recovering from having her daughter murdered, a 'false' pregnancy, a divorce (they were married for a month, at most), black mold, assaults by drug dealers, and various other traumas should DEFINITELY be spending their time on a virtual pet site. Oh, and she has 'multiple personalities'. Despite slathering her personal life all over the forums, she inevitably goes into bitch mode and has threads locked in which her maturity, logic, and choices are questioned.
[[File:havok_showlovederp.png|thumb|Havok, please remove yourself from Slash's anus immediately]]
*'''Suki''' - Speaking of frauds and [[cheat]]s, Suki is just that! She was caught [[plagiarizing|heavily referencing]] popular artists such as Yoolee. Apparently, Suki's creative depths are so broad that she just can't help but spew her originality all over Aywas.
*'''Wanko''' - Pretty much ignored until early 2012 when various acts of [[dumbass]]ery started to show up. Before getting her ass [[banned]], [[Wank]]o lived up to her name. She doesn't even attempt to hide it: after receiving a gift, Wanko turned around to sell it. When the original gift-giver said that they wanted it back, Wanko worked out a deal and came out 200 GP richer. That's right, Wanko sold a gift back to its giver for 200 GP. If not for friends, right?
*'''Ghoul&Zombie''' - Pretty much just a pile of [[BAW]]. Everything is ALWAYS wrong! Something always happens. Love that 'they' claim to be 'lovers' when it's one person on the account. 'Zombie' is always crying about jobs and cyber this and that. She [[cheat]]s [[BAW]]s when caught bullies the shit out of people, then plays victim. 'Zombie' and 'Ghoul' will tear you a new asshole if you even mention the other.
*'''Kandria''' - Best known for being emotionally scarred for life! And pretty much living in the ER. She likes to [[BAW]] and cry and cause drama on the forums. [[cheat]]s users out of those ''oh-so-valuable'' GEEPEES ([[fucktard|who spends money on that shit]]?), constantly. Her [[babby|babbies]] are ugly as sin! She [[cheat]]s the system for GP, and get UNLIMITED SCCS. Then cries cause someone points out her [[cheat]]ing ways. I think it's best she just live in the ER, to monitor that unstable brutal [[bitch|bitchery]].
*'''Aporro''' - A passive-aggressive [[idiot]] who doesn't know when to [[stfu|shut the fuck up]]. She believes all women are perfect angels and men are [[hitler|DEMONS SENT FROM THE FIERY UNDERBELLY OF HELL]]. According to [[faggot|her]], all penis-owners are pimps looking to take advantage of [[no|teh wimminz]]. Oh, and when [[i see what you did there|no one's looking]], she makes thinly veiled comments in Mini Rants about other users who have also posted rants, pointing out how [[wrong]] they are.
*'''Lyra''' - A [[tryhard]]. She craves the approval of other Aywas members, making her own line of [[ugly|pretty]] custom pets and sprinkling her [[bullshit|opinions]] on every post she finds. She claims to have a [[imaginary|hubby]], but it's not going to last if she spends every hour of the day on a petsite. [[no life|She's probably getting a high from being included on this article.]]
*'''singingbadger''' - Another tryhard. She spams the forum with her [[shit|click games]], and if you play, she'll send you the Aywas equivalent of 3 cents! Yay [[you]]! Godforbid you ever talk to her though, because then she'll hide her [[raeg|rage]] behind ................ Every. Fucking. Sentence.

==Money Matters (a.k.a. Slash Cash)==

One of the most popular debates on Aywas revolves around the topic of site income. How much does it make, how much does it cost, and how much does Slash pocket? There are two very familiar sides: those who [[Republican|spend IRL cash]] and those that [[Democrat|make their money on-site]]. Users with disposable income feel that they should receive better services due to directly supporting the site through [[bribery|cash]] transactions. On the other end, users that work hard for their money (cue cheesy 80's music) feel that their presence on the site is what keeps it active and attracts more people who, in turn, spend more money.

Naturally, Slash could give a fuck.

On August 6, 2012,Slash, being a [whore|savvy business-person], decided to ask the user base if they'd like to spend more money [http://www.aywas.com/forum/topic/171722/ here]. A nice portion screamed "YES, SLASH, YES, TAKE OUR MONEY FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL PIXELS," while the rest groaned a resounding "FUCK, I AM 12 AND HAVE NO MONEY SO I WILL DISAGREE UNTIL I CAN STEAL MY PARENTS' CREDIT CARD." Due to the amount of [[bitch]]ing and [[fuck]]ery, Slash decided to blame [[tumblr]] and posted [http://www.aywas.com/forum/topic/171840/ this] thread a day later [[lying|explaining]] exactly how Aywas' income is wasted.

Of course, no one other than the usual ass-kissers believed a word of it... though a few decided to play make-believe so that they could pretend not to feel the pain of the silent ass-reaming Slash hands out daily. After [[over 9000|nearly 40]] pages of the same two comments -- "Yes, please take MORE of our money for perks I don't want" and "No, I work really hard clicking all day and those lazy-ass jerks that spend real money from their real jobs don't deserve SHIT" -- Slash finally did exactly what she was planning all along: released a "new" item called a "paintbrush," a USD-only item.

Paintbrushes had premiered before as 45 GP items that could be used to [[bribe|commission]] artists. Once delivering their artwork, the (gold) paintbrush could be exchanged for 15 USD delivered via PayPal. The revamp of the paintbrush includes three colors paying different amounts, 5, 10, and 15 USD, while the site [[rapes|makes]] a hefty profit by charging 50% more at purchase, costing 15, 20, and 30 USD respectively. Slash claims that the original GP price was causing too much stress on the economy as non-USD paying members used site-gained GP to purchase gold paintbrushes. God forbid Slash lose out on a few of her precious dollars... It's not like she has back-up sources like good stock investments or a dad to help her out.

Oh. Wait.

==Community==

The word that best describes Aywas’ community would be “fucked”. However, ask anyone and they will tell you that it is the kindest group of people they have ever met. This seems to be a group hallucination, allowing otherwise sane people to put up with Slash's BS when they would normally GTFO. On one hand, the mods consist of a clique of elitist, self-serving, holier-than-though [[furfags]] that only have their positions of power because they've sucked so much of Slash's e-peen that they wouldn't know a good business decision if it fucked them in the ass. On the other, the user base is filled with whiny, entitled, drama-whores that can’t live a single day without Aywas. This is the perfect combination for a major dishing of teh [lulz].

Slash attempts to keep the community so busy with site events and new releases that they don't realize just how poorly the site is run. Most events revolve around trying to fine as many of a given item as possible. In the beginning they make them suitably difficult to find, followed by most of the userbase complaining that they can't spend their entire lives searching for [[Internetz]] items in order to pretend like they have real lives outside of Aywas. Slash inevitably gives in and makes the item appear constantly. These items are then turned in for rewards. Anything worth having costs so many of these items that they are actually impossible to get without buying / bribing more of these items from other users (which means that only artists and mods have the leverage to ever get them).

Want to know even more about the individuals that make up this great community? Check out [http://lolaywas.tumblr.com/ LOLAYWAS] which is filled with [[retarded|awesome]] quotes from Aywas members.

==Breeding==
This is the main focus for most Aywas users. Breeding is one of the best ways to make [[money]] in the failing Aywas economy. In most cases, decently bred Aywas can sell for up to double the amount the item used to breed them. Of course, this whole process starts with real cash, so in the end, it's very hard to make it monetarily on the site without "donating" money. What are you donating to, you ask? Well, about 2% goes to running the site and paying Slash's friends, and the rest goes directly to Slash herself so that she can afford important things to flesh out the world of Aywas... like [[fanart]] of her [[original_character]]s.

===Hybrids===

Hybrids are meant to be the most [[special|speshulest]] pets on the site. Well, other than Xaocs and silvers and anything owned or favored by Slash. Once prized by players, there have been so many different types of lineart released, and the quality of art has decreased so much, that it is [[nevar|rare]] to make back the amount of [[money]] spent on creating them.

To further degrade the value of hybrids, on May 2, 2010, Slash declared that the [[bullshit|genetics]] of the Aywas world dictated that hybrids would now have a mere 10% chance of inheriting the paid edits from their parents. Forever more, users were to spend $75 on a hybrid with no edits... and like it. This added extra drama as players were still complaining about the chance of the new rule of only receiving one hybrid per breeding, where it was once reasonable to expect two.

{{squote|There has been some concern with how people are expecting edits on hybrid offspring to pass over from two edited parents. '''The sheer fact that people expect this is something that needs to stop''', as it was intended to be a rare occurrence for babies. '''Edits are a [[bribe|privilege]]'''. All hybrid artists have been informed of this and now I am informing all of you that the chance for hybrids to have edits is now 10%.|Slash's initial news post|God Forbid she lose out on a few extra dollars. Silly users. Why should you expect anything for $75?}}

Frey, realizing that Slash is an incompetent bitch, tried to convince Slash out of this ridiculous plan. After a day of digging her heals in, Slash raised the percentage up to 20% with the promise of flipping a coin, rolling dice, or using some other arcane and trivial method to give people the possibility of multiple line art edits. Finally Frey concluded this issue with the following statement:

{{squote|More discussion has prompted that we're going to allow a better compromise for how edits on hybrids are handled now. We're hoping this ends up sounding fairer in the end. We are going to '''let''' [that's not condescending at all] you have edits 50% of the time when you breed using a Breeding Coin, which is similar to now. However, to push our '''[[Conspiracy|agenda]]''' of non-edited hybrids, any breeding where the two parents are non-edited will have a slightly higher chance of getting an extra offspring. We are also putting the limit at edits on hybrid offspring at 25%.|Frey}}

A few days later, most of these decisions were repealed and new rules, which were exactly like the old ones, were placed.

There had also been drama over the recent slump in hybrid quality. While reworking the rules, safeguards were created to assure that people would not being paying $75 for simple overlays (considered a curse word on Aywas). Ironically, the word “overlay” refers to anything a user doesn’t like about their offspring. Due to the poor quality of some delivered hybrids, several artists were put on probation. The admins neglected to explain who was behind these atrocities. Furthermore it was revealed that Slash has been looking for outside artists to recolor the pets at a whopping rate of $2 per pet. [[¯\(°_o)/¯|Where does the remaining $73 go?]]

As of August 2011, the quality of hybrids is at an all time low with no hint that things may change, or that stricter rules will be placed on site-produced artwork. They've even made it impossible to complain by locking the breeding error thread, leaving users with no way to have their botched hybrids fixed, and no hope of selling them for anywhere near the price paid to create them.

===Standard Pets===

[[File:Melo diamonddust.png|thumb|The new and improved melo.]]

Sometime ago, Slash decided to completely fuck up the pets. However, he promised that the sacred melo, the most popular pet, would never fall victim to such drastic changes. But by the end of August 2010, Slash asked the website if they wanted a revamp. The majority of the user base responded [[no]] to his proposal but he then followed up with a cluster of empty promises until enough of the ignorant n00bs were persuaded.

When the new and 'improved' artwork of the melo was revealed, it was ultimately labeled as [[shit|terrible]] by the users and they began to regret their choice of letting Slash tamper with the most beloved pet on the website. Despite numerous complaints, polls and suggestions, Slash ignored all of them because it doesn’t matter what the users think once Slash sets his mind on something. After all, Slash is the most important user on the site, dontchaknow?

This finally ended by early September when the “perfect” melo was unveiled. Those that were still unhappy had to suck it, but if they wanted the old line art then they could simply just throw more money at Slash to get it.

Over the following year, many of the other original pets were reworked onto new and [[crappy|improved]] art. It wasn't until they got to the orimi that the shitstorm that had been brewing turned into a shit hurricaine. There were arguments over whether the art should be changed completely or only minorly; if majority ruled, or if only 70% was needed; and why anyone really even gave a fuck. Finally Slash said "Fuck this shit!" and declared that they were abandoning the overhaul they'd spent over a year of time and effort on. Instead, users could make a pet with any site-produced line art, including the original art work. The catch? Old artwork and new artwork could no longer be bred together by a site artist (though she would allow users to [[bribe|pay]] the almight artists to make predicts for these breedings). This, she swore, would speed up site breedings as hybrid artists would no longer be tied up completeing the old x new artwork. Months later, however, breedings were not only as slow as ever, but hybrids looked even more hideous.

Little has been seen of any of the alternate orimi lineart since the original wankfest, proving just how big of a deal it was. In fact, most people use the same artwork they would have been using either way, in most cases being the new art (the melo being exempt from this rule since the new version was butt ugly). The most popular breeds remain anything that can be edited into something completely unrecognizable as the original.

==How to Be Popular on Aywas==

There are a variety of ways to become popular on Aywas. If you repeat these steps correctly, you will become a mod in no time!
#Own as many [[sparkledog]], [[scene]], and [[emo]] pets as possible. If male, role play them as [[fags|homos]]. If female, role play them as [[sluts|cum guzzling gutter whores]].
#Own [[over_9000]] Silver Species, meaning that you provide the art to create a completely useless pet that can only breed with others of its kind (unless you want to spend $50). Each of these is absolutely unique, and is absolutely not a [[copy]] of something found on [[DeviantArt]].
#Agree with anything and everything that Slash says, even if it is completely inane and makes no sense according to Aywas ToS.
#Wet your panties (because, let's face it, there are no [[ftm|real men]] on Aywas) and squee whenever something new comes out, even if it's just another shallowly disguised way for Slash to [[fap]] over her [[Original_character|characters]], a blatant attempt at fishing money out of the users' pockets, and even though there are more important things for the coders / mods to work on.
#When not sucking up to Slash, spend your time sending gifts of art and expensive pets to the other mods.
#Make sure to fill your lair with designs from only the most [[popular|capable]] artists on the site. Some of the [[popular|best]] include, but are not limited to: Youko, Springdragon, Fairy, Magnus Vale, Imay, Dew, Yoolee, osiem, Pumpuli, Skitty, and Balu.
#Make friends with the above mentioned artists so that they give you free art.
#Watch Doctor Who.
#Have a [[fursona]]. Commission artists to create pets that look like your fursona in every popular Aywa species.
#Own a low digit account number. Four digits at least, but the lower the better. Meaningful numbers (i.e. 69, 666, 100, etc.) will make you even more amazing.
#Make [[mary_sue|unique]] profiles for every pet you own. Bonus points for excessive code and profiles covered in commissions of your pet in humanoid or [[anthro]] form. The [[pr0n|sexier]] the better.
#Be an artist. Give Slash free art.
#Have a lair partner (or two).
#[[RAEG]]quit at least once a week. Write about it in Rants beforehand and then "allow" others to talk you out of leaving by telling you how amazing you are, and how the site would be lost without you. Bonus points if Slash or a moderator begs you to stay.
#Have no money irl. "Work" for the millions of customs in your lair. Complain about how you can't afford a car / the gas to go job hunting.
#Have amazingly limited HA (human avatar) items. Only give these out to artists and/or mods, and sell one for an insane amount of money.
#Own exotic animals [[irl]]. Extra points if you own a fennec fox or a ball python. Extra bonus points for working with horses/wolves/dinosaurs and/or rehabilitation animals.
#Know how to code.
#Be one of Slash's favorite role play buddies.
#Be [[FTM]] dating another [[FTM]] so that you can [[gay]] while you [[gay]]. Scrimp and save up for the transition while ranting about how broke you are, but always have a disaster -- such as the release of a new hybrid species -- strike just as you are about to have enough...

==Bannination==

When playing Aywas, always remember one thing: this site is Slash's personal sandbox and she can, and will, do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. This includes banning those she doesn't like, even if they don't do anything wrong. She'll even [[ban]] people for doing things off Aywas.com, as was the case of a user known as Guillermo (who was allowed back onto the site only after much drama and BAAAWing).

Other users [[ban|perma-banned]] include Dember, who got into various tiffs with Slash and other moderators due to... GASP... being differently opinionated and daring to speak her mind. In the end, Dember was 'nailed' for bribery. Of course, this bribery merely consisted of asking a site artist -- Miss Mally -- if she could provide a couple of .psds for pets Dember already owned. This occurred during an instance where Miss Mally had already given Dember five hybrid .psds. Oddly, when asked about a sixth .psd for a BC-bred hybrid -- a pet Dember ''owned'', mind you -- Miss Mally refused, stating that she could get in trouble. Dember asked for the file one more time and then dropped it. For some malicious reason (possibly hoping for a USD raise, or because her head is wedged so far up Frey's -- who admitted that she was after ANY excuse to ban Dember -- ass), Miss Mally then doctored the chat logs to make it look like Dember had tried to bribe her with various currencies (including USD and pet designs). In reality, Dember had refunded her 5 GP from an earlier purchase in thanks for her help. A refund that Slash confirmed was perfectly acceptable, mind you. Despite having the real conversation logged, Slash shrugged it off it a he-said-she-said and [[ban|banned]] Dember. This was possibly the [[truth|single-most brilliant decision]] Slash has ever made for Aywas. The users are still rejoicing, for Dember was a bitch.

Then there's Messy. This user was [[ban|banned]] for supposedly abusing resources using a glitch, harboring a past [[ban|perma-banned]] user on her account, and circumventing the ToS. Messy has said that that any abuse was either a mistake or a misunderstanding, and genuinely does not seem to know what this part of her conviction refers to. After being informed of her possible bannination, and sending in her explanation, there was no word for over a week until she was suddenly [[ban|perma-banned]], without ever having received a response from Slash or any of the staff via e-mail. Messy has been a long time user and made a small fortune producing beautiful designs, there seems to be no reason for her to abuse site resources.

===How to get Banned===

#Disagree with Slash.
#Befriend someone that Slash or her cronies [[haet]].
#Never spend real money on the site.
#Point out obvious flaws in the system, such as how the entire game is focused on inside jokes between Slash and her BFFEs.
#Be a fantastic artist and refuse to work for or sell to Slash and/or Aywas.
#Refuse to sell a pet to Slash that she wants. She will then ban you and take the pet anyway.
#Have your own opinion. Make sure that this opinion is at odds with everyone elses'.

===Copyright===
[[File:Havok_stealsgaia.png|Left|thumb|Obviously not based on Gaia.]]
Copyright is a huge issue on Aywas, as it should be. Since the site allows users to submit their own user-created pets, as well as user-created items, there is a huge possibility that people are [[stealing|referencing]] copyrighted material, or just downright copying it. In an attempt to stop users from using copyrighted material, the administration has created a forum esspecially for this issue. Sounds great, right? Yeah, well, it would be, except that it takes admins 5-6 years to judge anything placed there. Even better, users items don't have a forum at all. Of course, just like every other section of this site, those users that devote 90% of their time to rimming anyone in charge can get away with murder.

==Events==

;Jan. 2011 - Mini Scavenger Hunt
:Guess the first one didn't cause enough BAWWWWW, don't worry though! It's back! And with 100% ''moar'' tasks based around site wealth! ''Totally'' fair, amirite? Right! ''Especially'' if you're on Team [[Elitist|YoDa]]. Last Scavenger Hunt [[Elitist|YoDa]] came out on top, no surprise there right? They totally [[cheated|won fair and square]] and ended up with more points than even possible, and, just as we all predicted, insisted Slash had added wrong. Of course [[dumbass|Slash]] believed their [[lies|honest word]]. But this time, the task list seems as if it were made just for YoDa. And it probably was if [[bitchdyke|BJ]] saw it three days before the hunt started, like last year.
;Jan. 2011 - Introduction of the Bronze Crystal
[[File:crystalquestion_favoritism.png|thumb|Skitty ruled this bronze... because it's TTLY under 30%]]
:This handy item was introduced halfway through the Scavenger Hunt and allows a user to pay $15 to make a custom with 30% or less edits. This crystal is lodged safely between metal (0% edits) and blue (50%), and is soooo inexpensive that all members can buy a bajillion of them! This has led numerous members to throw up tons and tons and tons of their pets, asking Skitty "ARE ANY OF THEZE BRONZE?!?!" Unfortunately, depending on how much Skitty likes the owner, it doesn't seem to matter what percentage they really are... To her they will always be bronze.
;June 5, 2011 - Baby Day
:Baby Day is yet another site [con|event] created around one of Slash's cronies, Dana. You see, poor Dana suffers from PCOS, which is a reproductive problem that makes it difficult to get pregnant. Determined, she went through all sorts of medical hullabaloo and finally conceived. All fine and dandy. Even creating an event to celebrate her good luck is great. Sure, it indicates obvious favoritism (Slash claimed that Baby Day was for ''all'' parents and soon-to-be-parents, but we're not that stupid), but new events are generally well-received. In and of itself, Baby wouldn't have been [[raeg]] worthy...except for ''one thing''. In the news post for Baby Day, Slash reveals that though Dana had finally gotten pregnant, "there [were] financial problems in her life that... make[ing] her and her husband's life tough." Due to this, Slash devised a way to trick users into donating in order to purchase a custom-creation item for new line art of ugly [[chibi]]fied versions of normal pets.
:According to the news post, each item cost "$25.00 via PayPal" and "half of the proceeds [were]... given to Dana... and half... to the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Association, Inc.". Does anyone else see a problem here? No? Well, there's the fact that Slash supports pregnancy in adults too poor to actually afford children. Not only does she support it, but she forced the site users to do the same by sponsoring this event. If you don't want to donate to an adult who gets pregnant without being able to afford the outcome, but you still want that item? Too bad! You can't decide to donate the entire $25 to charity - whether you like it or not, you're giving money to someone who is too damned poor to have a child without monetary help, let alone take care of the child once it's born! What do you want to bet that all the tax paying members end up donating more money, once their family ends up on public assistance? So ladies, if you want Slash's favor just get pregnant when you can't afford to! You can count on a site-wide fundraising effort dedicated to you and your fetus.
;July. 2011 - Large Scavenger Hunt, Year 2
:Apparently, Aywas' staff has the memory of a goldfish, because the newest Scav Hunt was just as big of a dramafest as the last three. [[Sarcasm|Huge surprise]] there. As usual, all of the mods and admins were huddled onto a few teams along with the rest of the popular kids and artists. Upset that these teams always seem to win, grumbling of unfairness spread throughout the rest of Aywas. Every time a [[fucking idiot|user]] dare suggests that a mod-team has even a minor advantage (whether physical or perceptive), the entire Aywas staff cries prejudice.
:In one drama-filled [http://www.aywas.com/forum/topic/114510/ thread], a [[troll] dared to suggest that [[fags|moderators]] no longer be allowed to create mod-sodden teams in order to prevent [[Cheat|advantages]], as well as forcing integration between [[crackers|users]] and [[niggers|moderators]]. The mods were outraged, as though the OP were suggesting slavery. Faced with her [[racism]] against "non-colored" users, Frey (#90) claimed that asking moderators to split up into multiple teams was "limiting" the mods (i.e. preventing them from winning) while mod Mauri (#1010) yowled that the mere suggestion of such a rule would take "the fun out of the game" while simultaneously stealing her freedom. Zephy (#215) re-defined the subject of the conversation as: "[mods] shouldn't be allowed to play with their friends because they post in different colors than regular members, so instead we'll force them to play a game, that's supposed to be fun, with people they don't know/don't like." Obviously, mods find the regular users of Aywas so repugnant that they'd rather become [[an_hero|an hero]] than form a team with them.
:Despite the mods' continual argument and whining that they NEVAR EVAR get any perks and they are just lowly volunteers, rumor says otherwise. According to one user, [[popular]] member Airr (#404) gave up her modship because she felt that she and her fellow mods were given far too many advantages over the regular user base, and were generally showered with favoritism by the almight [[douche|Slash]]. Furthermore, a [[furfag]] noticed that mod and well-known [[Deviantart]]let posted a snippet on [http://www.furaffinity.com] hinting that she and others had been given hints about the contents of 2011's to-do list, including the 25-page, lined and half-toned comic. No one was surprised when Skitty (#543) was the only person able to finish this insane task within the one week time lot.
:Other buttfuck insane tasks that only mods could have finished without knowing about them ahead of time:
:*Over 165,000 written words (including one 75k and one 50k [[fanfiction]])
:*A stone carving
:*Develop the game mechanics for a [[pokemon|trading card game]] for Aywas... includ[ing] the rules, and a description of what the cards in the first series (40-60 cards)
:*Program a system where two linearts can be uploaded, and the script computes the percentage difference between them.
:*Program a script that alllows you to try on all the different HA items (there are [[Over9000|Over 9000]], dressing a model. All the items must be included, if possible.
:*Design an anime based off Aywas. Create it a poster and an episode guide ([[at_least_100|at least 100).
:*Create a [[forever|five]] minute animated short regarding something Aywas related, with fully colored backgrounds and shaded characters. Think animated/[[animu|anime]] style. It must not be sketchy.
:*Create an aywas-related piece of art with stained glass.
:*Create a [[fursuit]] outfit based off of an Aywas pet... must include a head or mask, gloves.., shoes.., and tail...
:*Construct a table-sized train layout based off the Ay Island using model train layout supplies (i.e. spend lots of money)
:*Write a 10-12 page essay about what the various people of the Aywas regions eat.
:*Create an outline - including beginning, rising action, climax, falling action, and ending for each book - for a seven-book series about something Aywas related. Each book outline must be at least 10 pages long.
;Summer 2011 - Forced abortions by graymare
[[File:Screen_shot_2011-10-01.png|thumb|The bitchiest bitch]]
:[[buttsex|Breeding]] is a major part of the Aywas [[economy]]. In the beginning, all breedings were [[ruined|handled]] by site staff, taking anywhere from four to six months to complete. Eventually, [[beaner|Slash]] allowed users to provide their own breeding [[photoshop|predictions]], acting as though it were some great [[lie|favor]] and not a blatant attempt to save money. This move managed to speed breedings up by an [[stupid|impressive]] two to three days. Regardless, users were pleased to have some say in what thy received and, as the site artists' production [[shit|quality]] plummeted due to Slash's refusal to pay enough to attract any real [[snapesnogger|talent]], people were just pleased to avoid using them at all. The user base has become so desperate that they even willing to provide four predictions each time, despite the fact that the typical breeding only produces two [[sparkledogs|offspring]]. Things were going well until late 2011 when Slash realized that she hadn't done anything asinine to provoke or antagonize the user base in a while. In response, the [[admin|moderators]] in charge of predictions were told to be more strict about babies allowed to go through. Drunk with heightened power, graymare began denying babies at random rather than simply checking that babies are a fair mixture of their parents with appropriate color schemes and a reasonable amount of edits. For example, on one breeding graymare claimed that one predict "had too much white" despite the fact that one of the parents had an entirely white base and the other was similarly pale. When users started to complain, graymare responded: "every time you make a rant I will take one day longer." Now, rather than speeding up the breeding process, creating predicts is an excruciating process in which the artist is forced to correct and re-correct their work until they catch graymare in a good mood.
;Summer 2011 - Gold Paintbrushes
:In a rare burst of genius, Slash added Gold Paintbrushes to the site. For $36 or $40 (depending on Account Status), users could buy this item. It could then be used to commission art from any willing artist on the site. The artist could then sent their Paint Brushes to Slash for $15 each (sent via PayPal). Due to the ToS, users are prevented from paying artists with cash outright, so this became a huge motivation for [[everybody|all those needing extra income]]. Suddenly new artists started popping up, and users were finally able to buy decent art without being popular or having an artist as a [[BFFE]]. Everyone loved the item. However, two months later [[troll|Slash]] gave everyone the middle finger by discontinuing the item, claiming that she was '''losing too much money'''. This from the person who admitted to making 10's of thousands of dollars a month off the site. Let's do some simple math, shall we? $36 -$15 = $21. So, even at the cheaper price, Slash still makes a profit of $21. Sure, a small percentage of users are able to make enough in game cash to purchase a Paintbrush, but given some time any intelligent person knows that it would have leveled out. So, instead of taking a temporary hit (one that couldn't have been that hurtful), Slash yet again removes a favorite feature that may have served to really help her user base in favor of lining her own pockets. (Ooo, but lookie... February 3 2012 they reappeared... for a week)
;December 2011 - Enter PBC
On December 11, 2011 Aywas took a major step toward [[an_hero|suicide]] by introducing the Platinum Breeding Coin (or PBC). For a mere 85 GP, this highly coveted item allows a user to take two pets — ANY TWO PETS — and create a third, brand-spanking new pet that is meant to be a combination of its "parents." However, since these offspring are created by a dozen different artists of varying styles and skill levels, more often than not the babies look absolutely nothing like either parent. This is largely due to the fact that the artists are given free reign to do whatever the fuck they want. Submit two chickens with the exact same line art? Get a feathered raptor! Luckily, these things are only available two weeks out of the year, meaning that people can only create about a bazillion one-of-a-kind [[shit|pets]] a year.
;January 26, 2012, Animated Pets introduced.
:After the introduction of the PBC, and after the last remaining hope of keeping the site even vaguely coherent, Slash realized that the only way to make more money is to release even more ridiculous rewards. And what could be more special than pets that TWITCH?! That's right folks. As of late January, Slash decided to test the waters with animated pets by [http://vengefulspirits.deviantart.com/ VengefulSpirits] who, oddly enough, is a decent artist when it comes to non-animated work (animated to her... is sliding pieces up and down or side to side). Still, Slash rolled out the red carpet with a few examples of highly-pixelized, sprite-type art that twitch and convulse feebly, as though finally giving in to a slow and painful death. Not just anyone can bribe their way into ownership, however. To receive one of these suffering beauties, a user must either be BFFEs with Slash or win a public (read: rigged) raffle to have their favorite character mangled into an anemic, constantly blinking version of itself. But who cares what it looks like when they're rare and you get one and others don't, nah nah nah nah nah. It has become clear that Slash's business plan is as simple as: "RELEASE ALL THE THINGS! EVEN THE HALF-FINISHED, GIMPY, WE'VE-DECIDED-THIS-WAS-A-BAD-IDEA THINGS! RELEASE THEM FOR EXTREMELY HIGH AMOUNTS OF MONEY! THE MORE I RELEASE, THE MORE CONFUSED THEY'LL BE, AND THE MORE THEY'LL BE FORCED TO BUY JUST TO KEEP UP!" And guess what folks… It's working!
;August 2012 - GCC Upgrade
:Gold Custom Crystals have long been the [[useless|least popular]] custom creation item on Aywas due to the fact that the additional percentage doesn't make up for the [[assrape|heightened cost]]. In fact, most users would rather have their pet edited down to fit Blue, or have a completely [[sparkledog|unique]] silver custom, than pay for a Gold... Enter the Gold Custom Crystal event. August saw the announcement that every GCC purchased for an undetermined amount of time would come with a [[bribe| freebie]]: a gold design! Users supply the species, a keyword, and a couple of colors. A randomly picked artist then shits out a design. The new owner then: creates the pet, recolors the design for themselves or friends, sells the design / rites to the design, or gives it away. Most users agree that it is common knowledge / courtesy not to sell uses of the line art. Of course, not everyone is so considerate. For example, on September 10, 2012 user Aethubryn was called to task on the [http://aywasconfessions.tumblr.com/post/31308808111/oh-hey-aethubryn Aywas Confessions Tumblr]. Apparently, good ol' Aethy decided that since she was lucky enough to get a popular artist for their GCC, she would sell the design for triple the cost of the GCC... without even including the item in the sales. After the grumbling about her bad behavior did she learn her lesson? Of course not. Instead she decides that she needs more money and starts to sell uses of another line art set received through the event.

==Gallery==

{{cg|Gallery|gall1|center|
<gallery>
File:Amazing goffick.png|Show your true gothic self
File:Redbull.png|You know you want these fucking wings!
File:Catbutt.png|And this cat ass!
File:Itsnotmeguiz.jpg|BeeJay, being helpful as usual.
</gallery>
|<gallery>
Image:100bux4 what.jpg|I proudly spent more than $100 on these wonderful creations!
Image:Aywasfag.png|So funny hahahaha!
Image:Aywasfag2.png
Image:BESTDRAGINEVAR.png
Image:Fuckinghippy.png|Even hippies can have their own Aywa!
Image:Jesusfuckingchrist.png‎
Image:Kawaiiiiii rainbowchan.png
Image:Prettykitty.png
Image:SEXYCUSTOMISSEXY.png
Image:Desudesudesu.png
Image:Emoburd.png
Image:Someone_paid_for_this.png
Image:Spendybutworthit.png
Image:WHATISTHIS_IDONTEVEN.png
Image:Worth25bux.png
File:InsiLine1copy.png|Penis after penis.
File:Hybrids.png|Fucking bad ass hybrids yo
File:Dember_Talks_Back_1.png|You got what you deserved alright!
File:Dember_Talks_Back_2.png|Let's all waste our money on coins, that's totally worth it for the great hybrid you'll get!
File:Dusk Talks Back.png|Gotta love that reasonable price.
File:Khiarhu_Talks_Back.png
Image:Clowncookie.gif
Image:Hashbrownie.gif
Image:Toiletpaper.gif
Image:Fangedapple.jpg
Image:‎Goldenshowersyay.jpg
Image:Petsalad.jpg
Image:Rofl_items.jpg
Image:Snowmanpoop.jpg
Image:Stoners_and_nets.jpg
Image:Sickness.png
Image:Shit take.png
</gallery>}}

==See Also==
*[[Neopets]]
*[[Pokémon]]
*[[Sparkledogs]]
*[[Wajas]]

==External Link==
*[http://www.aywas.com Website]
*[http://snakekoss.tumblr.com/ Slash's Tumblr]
*[http://www.chicagomaroon.com/2009/12/1/with-a-fantasy-land-she-designed-one-student-makes-very-real-money News Article @ The Chicago Maroon]
*[http://aywased.tumblr.com/ Help update the Aywas ED]
{{cyberpets}}
{{furfaggotry}}
{{sites}}

COBOL

2024-08-10T06:24:32Z

Stooge:

COMMON BUSINESS ORIENTED LANGUAGE is the prune juice of the programming world. If you still know how to write code in this shitty language, you definitely are [[oldfag|a respected and valuable member of the programming community]]. COBOL was invented by a [[wimminz|woman]], which is probably the main reason why it downright sucks giant [[cocks]]. We all know that wimminz never make anything worthwhile.

__TOC__

== EXAMPLE CODE ==
<pre>
AA-INTRODUCTION SECTION.
AA-01.
* A HORRIBLY VERBOSE PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
* THAT PROBABLY NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN
* INVENTED. THERE ARE MILLIONS OF
* LINES OF THIS GARBAGE STILL IN USE.
*
* THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT COBOL WAS THAT
* IT STOPPED BAD PROGRAMMERS BEING REALLY
* AWFUL PROGRAMMERS.
*
* HOWEVER, COBOL CAN BE FOUND AT THE MAINFRAME
* OF YOUR FAVORITE BANK. THE 60'S STRIKE AGAIN.
*
* NOW, ADD 1 TO COBOL GIVING COBOL, PLEASE, .
* DEAR COMPUTER, AND RETURN THE RESULT (S0C7)
* AT MORNING.
*
* THERE IS NO CABAL.

PERFORM IMMORAL-ACTS UNTIL POLICE ARRIVE.
DIVIDE CAKE INTO MANY-PIECES YIELDING BIRTHDAY-PARTY.
EVALUATE TRUE
WHEN CAKE NOT = 1 OR 3 OR 5 OR 7 OR (MOON-PHASE NUMERIC)
MOVE CORRESPONDING MANY-PIECES TO MANY-MOUTHS
WHEN OTHER
EXEC CICS LINK PROGRAM ('TOAST')
COMMAREA (RUM-BOTTLE)
LENGTH (ONE-GLASS)
END-EXEC.
* EAT THAT, MISERABLE MAINTENANCE PROGRAMMER!!!
IF DRUNK-FLAG
INSPECT STOMACH REPLACING ALL LOW-VALUES BY ZEROES
IF STOMACH > ZERO
NEXT SENTENCE
ELSE
GOTO A99.
GOTO AA-Z23X.

AA-Z23X.
PERFORM AA-01 THRU AA-Z23X UNTIL WORLD-SPIN-SPEED > 5
GOBACK.

AA-99.
MOVE RANDOM TO RETURN CODE
STOP RUN.
*END OF PROGRAM (REST IN PIECE, PLEASE)
END PROGRAM COBOL.
</pre>

# Divide environment
# Comment a line of code
# Write a shit-ton of code
# Hello world
# ????
# PROFIT!!

In [[Python]], a similar program would only take about 5 lines, as opposed to [[over 9000]], which already explains why COBOL sucks.

== Trolling COBOL coders ==
* Steal their [[2girls1cup|depends]] (if their a wimminz)
* Eat their prunes
* Steal all of the hard caramels
* Destroy [[bullshit|social security]]
* Take a shit in the local bingo hall
* Walk all over their lawn
* Raid the dollar store

== History ==
COBOL was solely responsible for the Y2K scare because the designers never thought that COBOL would still be widely deployed after 1999. Despite the designers built in fail date, over 800 million line of COBOL can be found in Manhattan alone.

COBOL was designed to look like simple English to comfort [[newfags]] that couldn't program in a [[C|real language]]. In turn the language is so broken that it never would have been used by anyone, ever - if not for a [[Military| Department of Defense]] mandate. The language was so [[shit|powerful]] that a descent compiler took over [[100| 100 years]] to develop.

'''“The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore be regarded as a criminal offense.” ~ Edsger Dijkstra'''

== See Also ==
* [[Programming]]
* [[C]]
* [[Nerd]]

{{programming}}
{{Softwarez}}

{{stub}}

[[Category:Softwarez]]

Brainfuck

2024-08-10T06:21:59Z

Stooge: I deem this article perfect.

{{Perfect}}
[[Last Thursday]], Urban Müller decided to [[Drugs|snort a straight ton of coke laced with acid, and then ate a shroom for good measure]]. Brainfuck -- an esoteric turing test that isn't even suitable as a programming language -- was born.

==An example==

If you can figure this shit out, you are a god.

<pre>
>+++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<[>[-]>[-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>
[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<
-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<
[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]>[<+>-]<<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<+++
+++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
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+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++
+++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++++[<---------->-]<
-.---.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.+++++++++++++.++++++++++.
------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<-.
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-
]<--.+++++++++++.++++++++.---------.>++++++++[<---------->-]
<++.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.+++++++++++++.----------.>++++
+++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<----->
-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<..>+++++++++[<--------->-]<--.>+++++++[<
++++++++++>-]<+++.+++++++++++.>++++++++[<----------->-]<++++
.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<-.---.++++++.----
---.----------.>++++++++[<----------->-]<+.---.[-]<<<->[-]>[
-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]
>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<
<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<>>[<+>-]<
<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<++++++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+
<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[+++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
-----.---.>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>>+++
+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>
-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..---
-----.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++
.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<-
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]
<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[
<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++
++++++++>-]<++++.------------.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.
>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++
..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<-----.---.+++.---.[-]<<<]

++++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
-----.---.>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>>+++
+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++
[
- cont=0
>,
======SUB10======
----------
[ not 10
<+> cont=1
=====SUB38======
----------
----------
----------
-------->+++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<[>[-]>[-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>
[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<
-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<
[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<+++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
-----.---.>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>>+++
+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++<<+>>>-]>[<+>-]<<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<+++
+++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
-----.---.>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>>+++
+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++
+++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++++[<---------->-]<
-.---.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.+++++++++++++.++++++++++.
------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<-.
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-
]<--.+++++++++++.++++++++.---------.>++++++++[<---------->-]
<++.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.+++++++++++++.----------.>++++
+++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<----->
-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<..>+++++++++[<--------->-]<--.>+++++++[<
++++++++++>-]<+++.+++++++++++.>++++++++[<----------->-]<++++
.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<-.---.++++++.----
---.----------.>++++++++[<----------->-]<+.---.[-]<<<->[-]>[
-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]
>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<
<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<>>[<+>-]<
<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<++++++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+
<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>
-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..---
-----.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++
.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<-
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]
<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[
<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++
++++++++>-]<++++.------------.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.
>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++
..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<-----.---.+++.---.[-]<<<]

>
=====MUL10=======
[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]< dup

>>>+++++++++
[
<<<
[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]< dup
[<<+>>-]
>>-
]
<<<[-]<
======RMOVE1======
<
[>+<-]
]>+++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<[>[-]>[-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>
[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<
-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<
[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]>[<+>-]<<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<+++
+++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
-----.---.>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>>+++
+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++
+++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++++[<---------->-]<
-.---.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.+++++++++++++.++++++++++.
------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<-.
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-
]<--.+++++++++++.++++++++.---------.>++++++++[<---------->-]
<++.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.+++++++++++++.----------.>++++
+++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<----->
-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<..>+++++++++[<--------->-]<--.>+++++++[<
++++++++++>-]<+++.+++++++++++.>++++++++[<----------->-]<++++
.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<-.---.++++++.----
---.----------.>++++++++[<----------->-]<+.---.[-]<<<->[-]>[
-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]
>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<
<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<>>[<+>-]<
<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<++++++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+
<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>
-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..---
-----.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++
.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<-
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]
<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[
<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++
++++++++>-]<++++.------------.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.
>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++
..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<-----.---.+++.---.[-]<<<]

<
]
>>[<<+>>-]<<
#

++>>++>>++>>[<++++[>++++++++<-]<-] >>[>++<-]
0000000
2020248
48
48 >++++++++[>+++++++++<-]>.
0 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.
++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>
++.>+.+++++++..+++.>++.<<+++++++++++++++.>.+++.------.--------.>+.>.

+++++++.
>+++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<[>[-]>[-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>
[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<
-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<
[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]>[<+>-]<<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<+++
+++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-
]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+
++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>
>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<+++++++
+>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<------
---->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++
++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++
[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.-----------
-.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.
>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<
-----.---.>>>[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>>+++
+[<++++++>-]<--.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.
><+++++..--------.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++
++++++++++++.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<++
+++++++>-]<--.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<++
+++++++++>-]<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++++[<---------->-]<
-.---.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++++.+++++++++++++.++++++++++.
------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<-.
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.>+++++++[<++++++++++>-
]<--.+++++++++++.++++++++.---------.>++++++++[<---------->-]
<++.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.+++++++++++++.----------.>++++
+++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<----->
-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<..>+++++++++[<--------->-]<--.>+++++++[<
++++++++++>-]< <<<<<<<<<[->>>>>+<<<<<]>>>>>>,.<
[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<<<<<<<<[->>>>+<<<<]>>>>>,.<
[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<<<<<<<[->>>+<<<]>>>>,.<
[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<<<<<<[->>+<<]>>>,.<
[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>[->>>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<<]>
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[>[-<->]<[->+<]]
>[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<
<[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]<

<<<<<<<<

copy the remaining 39 bytes of the header
+++[->+++++++++++++[->,.<]<] <<

main decryption loop: for each of 1920 bytes:
+++++[->++++++[->++++++++[->++++++++[->

read a byte and convert it to binary
,[->>>[>>]+<<[-<<]<]

perform the mangling step (bit ordering is AaBbCcDdEeFfGgHh)
>>>>>>+>>+>>>>+>>>>+>
[-<<<<<->>>>>] <<[-<<<<<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>>>>>] F =!h; B = g;
++<<[->>->>+<<<<<<<<<<<->>>>>>>]<< [->>>>->>+<-<<<<<]<< C =!f; H =!e; g=2 minus e minus f; h=e plus f
[-<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>]<< [->>>+<<<] A = d; E = c;
++<<[->>->-<<<]<< [->>>>->>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<] D =!b; G = a; c=2 minus a minus b;
>>>>[[-]<<<<+<[->-<]>[-<+>]>>>>>>+>[-<->]<[->+<]<<] A ^=!!c; E ^=!!c; (!!c == !(a&b))
>>>>>>>>[[-]<<<<<<<<<<+<[->-<]>[-<+>]>>>>>>>>>>] B ^=!!g; (!!g == !(e&f))
>>[[-]<<<<+<[->-<]>[-<+>]>>>>]<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< F ^=!!h; (!!h == (e|f))
[->>[->+>[-<->]<[->+<]>>+>[-<->]<[->+<]<<+<]>[-<+>]<<+<]>[-<+>] C ^= A&B; D ^= A&B;
>>>>>>>>>>++<<<[->+>>->>+<<<<<]>[-<+>]>[-<+>>->>+<<<]<[->+<] f = 2 minus E minus F; g = E plus F;
>>[[-]+>[-<->]<[->+<]]>>[[-]+>[-<->]<[->+<]] G ^=!!f; H ^=!!g;

generate eight cipher bits
>>++++++++[>

clock the 17 bit LFSR and add end bit to previous carry
>>+>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
[-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]<
[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<
[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<
[->+<]<[->+<<<<+>>>]<[->+<]<[->+<]<
[->+<<->[->-<<+>]]

clock the 25 bit LFSR and add end bit to total
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
[-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]<
[->+<]<[->+<]<
[->+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]<
[->+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]<
[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<
[->+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>>>>>>>]<
[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<
[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<[->+<]<
[->+<<+>[->-<<->[->+<<+>[->-<<->]]]]<
[-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

split total into low bit (result) and high bit (new carry)
[->+<]>
[-<<[<]+>[->]>]
<<<[->>+<<]

shift in new result bit
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]
>>[-<<+>>]>>[-<<+>>]>>[-<<+>>]>>[-<<+>>]
>>[-<<+>>]>>[-<<+>>]>>[-<<+>>]>>>>[-<<<<+>>>>]

<<-]

xor cipher byte with sector byte
<[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]< <[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]<
<[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]< <[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]<
<[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]< <[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]<
<[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]< <[<[->-<]>[-<+>]]

combine bits into output byte
> [-<<++>>] >>>> [-<<++>>] >>>> [-<<++>>] >>>> [-<<++>>]
<< [-<<<<++++>>>>] <<<<<<<< [-<<<<++++>>>>]
>>>> [-<<<<<<<<++++++++++++++++>>>>>>>>]

and write it out
<<<<<<<<.[-]
>+10
[>,11
[ ;IF x == var02 THEN PRINT "ä"
<<<<<<<<<2[<1+<0+>>-]<[>+<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<1+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<1[>>>>>>>>>>11+<<<<<<<<<<1-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>12+>13+<<<<<<<<<<<<<0[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<0[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>11
>12[>>++++++[>++++++<-]>++.
<+++++++[>++++++++<-]>+++.
<++++[>+++++<-]>.
<++[>----<-]>.
<+[>-<-]>.
<+++++++[>-------<-]>15.[-]+
<<13!-<<11[-]
>12-
]
>13[ ;ELSE IF x == var03 THEN PRINT "ö"
<<<<<<<<<<3[<<+<+>>>-]<<1[>>3+<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<1[>>>>>>>>>>11+<<<<<<<<<<1-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>12+>>14+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<0[>>>>>>>>>>>>12-<<<<<<<<<<<<0[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>11
>12[>>>>16++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<+.
>++[<+++>-]<.
>++[<---->-]<.
>+[<->-]<.
>+++++++[<------->-]<15.[-]+
<14!-<<<11[-]
>12-
]
>13-
]
>14[ ;ELSE IF x == var04 THEN PRINT "ü"
<<<<<<<<<<4[<<<1+<0+>>>>4-]<<<1[>>>+<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>12+>13+<<<<<<<<<<<<<0[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>
>12[>>>>16++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<+++++++..
>++[<---->-]<.
>+[<->-]<.
>+++++++[<------->-]<15.[-]+
<<13!-<<11[-]
>12-
]
>>14-
]
<13[ ;ELSE IF x == var05 THEN PRINT "Ä"
<<<<<<<<[<<<<+<+>>>>>-]<<<<[>>>>+<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>11
[<<<<<<<<<<+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<1[>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>12+>>14+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>11
>12[>>>>++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>+++++[<+++++>-]<++.
>+++++++[<+++++++>-]<+++.
>++[<---->-]<.
>+[<->-]<.
>+++++++[<------->-]<15.[-]+
<14!-<<<11[-]
>12-
]
>13-
]
>14[ ;ELSE IF x == var06 THEN PRINT "Ö"
<<<<<<<<[<<<<<+<+>>>>>>-]<<<<<[>>>>>+<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>12+>13+<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>11
>12[>>>>++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++++++[<++++++>-]<+++++.
>++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++[<---->-]<.
>+[<->-]<.
>+++++++[<------->-]<15.[-]+
<<13!-<<11[-]
>12-
]
>>14-
]
<13[ ;ELSE IF x == var07 THEN PRINT "Ü"
<<<<<<[<<<<<<+<+>>>>>>>-]<<<<<<[>>>>>>+<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>12+>>14+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>11
>12[>>>>++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++++++[<+++++++>-]<+++++.
>+++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++[<---->-]<.
>+[<->-]<.
>+++++++[<------->-]<.[-]+
<!-<<<[-]
>-
]
>13-
]
>14[ ;ELSE IF x == var08 THEN PRINT ">"
<<<<<<[<<<<<<<+<+>>>>>>>>-]<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>+>13+<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>
>12[>>>>++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++++++++[<++++++++>-]<+.
>+++[<++++>-]<+.
>+++++++[<-------->-]<-.[-]+
<<!-<<[-]
>-
]
>>-
]
<13[ ;ELSE IF x == var09 THEN PRINT "<"
<<<<[<<<<<<<<+<+>>>>>>>>>-]<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<+<0->>>>>>>>>>>11-]
<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>+>>14+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>
>12[>>>>++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++++++++[<++++++++>-]<++++++.
>++[<++++>-]<.
>+++++++[<-------->-]<-.[-]+
<!-<<<[-]
>-
]
>-
]
>14[ ;ELSE IF x == var10 THEN PRINT "ß"
>>>>18[<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<+<+>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-]
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
[<<<<<<<<<<+<->>>>>>>>>>>-]
<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<-]
>>>>>>>>>>
>+>13+<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>>>>>>>>>>>-<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]]
>>>>>>>>>>>
>12[>>>>++++++[<++++++>-]<++.
>++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<+++++.
>++[<+++>-]<+.
>+++[<---->-]<--.
>+[<--->-]<.
>+[<-->-]<.
>++++++[<------->-]<--.[-]+
<<!-<<[-]
>-
]
>>-
]
<13[ ;ELSE PRINT x
<<.[-]
>>>>[-]+
<<-
]
<<11
]
>>>>>>+<<[<<<<<[-]+>>>>>->>-<<]>>[<<<<<<<[-]>>>>>>>-]
<<<<<<<
]

end of decryption loop
<<]<]<]<] >>>>>

end of decryption; if the encryption bit was clear:
]<[

then just copy the rest of the sector (2027 bytes)
>+++++[->+++++[->+++++++++[->+++++++++[->,.<]<]<]<],.,.>

end of plaintext copy
]
+++.+++++++++++.>++++++++[<----------->-]<++++
.>+++++[<+++++++++++++>-]<.>+++[<++++++>-]<-.---.++++++.----
---.----------.>++++++++[<----------->-]<+.---.[-]<<<->[-]>[
-]<<[>+>+<<-]>>[<<+>>-]>>>[-]<<<+++++++++<[>>>+<<[>+>[-]<<-]
>[<+>-]>[<<++++++++++>>>+<-]<<-<-]+++++++++>[<->-]>>+>[<[-]<
<+>>>-]>[-]+<<[>+>-<<-]<<<[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<>>[<+>-]<
<-[>[-]<[-]]>>+<[>[-]<-]<++++++++[<++++++<++++++>>-]>>>[>+>+
<<-]>>[<<+>>-]<[<<<<<.>>>>>-]<<<<<<.>>[-]>[-]++++[<++++++++>
-]<.>++++[<++++++++>-]<++.>+++++[<+++++++++>-]<.><+++++..---
-----.-------.>>[>>+>+<<<-]>>>[<<<+>>>-]<[<<<<++++++++++++++
.>>>>-]<<<<[-]>++++[<++++++++>-]<.>+++++++++[<+++++++++>-]<-
-.---------.>+++++++[<---------->-]<.>++++++[<+++++++++++>-]
<.+++..+++++++++++++.>++++++++[<---------->-]<--.>+++++++++[
<+++++++++>-]<--.-.>++++++++[<---------->-]<++.>++++++++[<++
++++++++>-]<++++.------------.---.>+++++++[<---------->-]<+.
>++++++++[<+++++++++++>-]<-.>++[<----------->-]<.+++++++++++
..>+++++++++[<---------->-]<-----.---.+++.---.[-]<<<]

.
+++.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.
++++++++++++++++++++++++.
+++.
------.
--------.
-------------------------------------------------------------------.

++++[>++++++++<-]>
</pre>

{{programming}}
{{softwarez}}
[[Category:Softwarez]]

BASH

2024-08-10T06:15:40Z

Stooge: Cleaned up the article.

Bash is a [[shell]] that can be run on most [[UNIX]] derived systems, including [[Lunix]] and [[Apple|MAC OS X]]. It is a command line interfact as opposed to [[GUI|graphical]], so that means retards like [[you]] don't use it. But if you're feeling frisky, enter this into your shell: "sudo rm -f /*". Do it. I DARE YOU! (Protip: Use ":(){:|:&};:", for even faster results!)

==Features==
===Auto completion===

Start typing and hit <tab> to make bash complete your input. If your input leads to ambiguous completions, you might have to hit <tab> a second time to see all recommendations.

===Input/output forwarding/redirecting===

Every input or output produced by a program invoked in the bash shell can be redirected to a file, another program or a different data stream.

'''''Pipes''''' are used to forward the output of one program to the input of another program.

Syntax:
prog1 | prog2

'''''Output redirecting''''' is used to redirect the output of a program to a file. It can be used in 2 different ways: Overwrite and append.

Syntax for overwriting:
some_prog > some_file

Syntax for appending:
some_prog >> some_file

The output of *NIX programs goes to two separated output streams: Standard output (stdout) and standard error (stderr). Therefor output redirecting also works for those separated streams. To make it easier to type, the streams are enumerated: Stdout is 1, Stderr is 2. The default way of output redirecting shown above redirects only stdout and could also be written
some_prog 1> some_file
or
some_prog 1>> some_file
To redirect the stderr stream to a file, use
some_prog 2> some_file
or
some_prog 2>> some_file
The two methods can be combined, this can be useful for error logging:
some_prog 1> output_file 2> error_logfile
To redirect both streams to one file, use
some_prog &> some_file

'''''Input redirecting''''' is used to redirect the content of a file to the input of a program. This enables you to process files with programs that usually only accept direct input.

Syntax:
some_prog < some_file

===Variables===

Variables are used to store pieces of information and associate them with a name to access them.

'''''Declaring variables''''' can be done in 2 different ways.

The simple way:
my_variable='my valuable piece of information'
Make sure that there is no space between the variable name and the equal sign. otherwise it won't work.

The elaborate way comes along with the Usage of the bash builtin command 'declare' which enables you to declare variables with specific attributes, for example to make them readonly. Use 'help declare' for further information.

'''''Reading the content of variables''''' is done by putting the dollar sign in front of the variable:
$my_variable

'''''To use a variable inside a string''''', you have to put the string in double quotes. In single quotes the special meaning of the dollar sign isn't interpreted by bash. The following examples will used the variable we declared above.
"My string contains $my_variable"
will result to 'My string contains my valuable piece of information', while
'My string contains $my_variable'
will result to 'My string contains $my_variable'

'''''To make sure the variable's content is recognzed as one piece''''' (Some programs you can pass your variables to, might get terrible hiccups if the content contains spaces and/or tabs), use curly brackets around the variable name (the whole thing still has to be preceded by the dollar sign):
${my_variable}

====Sub shells====
Bash can also start subshells, that are other instances of bash that aere running inside the currently open bash to execute a set of commands. To execute some commands in a subshell, enclose them in brackets and put a dollar sign in front:
$( some fancy commands in a subshell )
This is useful to assign the output of commands to a variable:
my_variable=$( some commands in a subshell produching some output )
In subshells bash can also do simple calculations, just enclose the term you want to claculate in two pairs of brackets and put a dollar sign in front:
$(( 9000+1 )) # It's over 9000!
$(( 101/0 )) # Dividing by zero works, too!? Oh shi--

===Logical Expressions===
Bash can evaluate logical expressions. In *NIX based systems, the two states of Boolean logic, True and False are represented by Numbers: 0 stands for True, any other number for False. There also exist two little helper applications which have no other purpose than providing True or Flase:
true
false
They issue their value as return code (see next section)

====Return codes====
Return codes are pieces of information returned by a program to the Operating System before it ends, usually a number. On *NIX based systems Programs use the definition of True and Flase as 0 and non-zero to indicate, if their run was successful. If they ran successfully, they return the number 0, if there was an error, any other number is returned. So we can use the return codes of programs for logical evaluation.
The return code of a program can be accessed by a variable (until the next program is run, which overwrites it with its own return code)
$?
To make use of return codes in a bash script, you can use the keyword 'return'. This also ends the current script.

Example for successful return:
return 0
Example for unsuccessful return:
return 9001

====Boolean operators====
=====AND=====
Returns True (0), if both the left hand and the right hand expression return True.
expression1 && expression2
=====OR=====
Returns True, if either the left hand or the right hand expression return True.
expression1 || expression2
=====NOT=====
Inverts the value of the following expression.
! expression

====Comparison====
Comparisons and tests can be done with the helper application 'test'. It for example provides the comparison operators '=', '!=', '>' and '<', but also much more like checking if a file exists, or is of a special type. To learn about the full capabilities of test, simply type
help test
Example for simple comparison:
test 7 = 9001
Test can be abbreviated by embedding the statement in square brackets (spaces between bracket and expression are necessary):
[ 7 = 9001 ]

====Conditional statements====
To make use of all the logic we had above, we need to be able to make decisions based on them. That's what Bash's conditional statements (if, else) are for.
Since every good *NIX program makes use of return codes to indicate it's success, we can use every program as source of logic to make conditional statements.
=====If=====
the if statement evaluates an expression and runs a series of commands, if the expression is true. Every ief/else statement is closed by the keyword 'fi' ('if' backwards)
if expression; then command1; command2; command_over9000; fi
if you don't like long lines, you can also type this like the following example (indenting not required, it's only to make the code more readable)
if expression
then
command1
command2
command_over9000
fi
=====Else=====
To have an alternative set of commands executed, if the condition is false, Bash provides the else statement.
if expression; then some; commands; else some; other; commands; fi
or in multiple lines:
if expression
then
some
commands
else
some
other
commands
fi
=====Else If=====
The else if statement is provided by the keyword 'elif'
if expression1; then some; commands; elif expression2; then some; other; commands; fi;
or better readable:
if expression1
then
some
commands
elif expression2
then
some
other
commands
fi
of course the elif statement can be followed by an else or another elif:
if expression1
then
command1
elif expression2
then
command2
else
command3
fi

===Line Endings===
Usually a new line makes bash execute the typed line (except this line continues an unfinished statement)

To avoid Bash execute at end of line, just put a backslash as last character in this line. Bash now will now consider the current and the following line as one long line:
some code that is very loooooooooooooong
equals to
some code that is \
very loooooooooooooong

You can also put multiple lines into one. Simply put a semicolon (';') at the place where ususually the new line would start:
some
code
that
could
also
fit
in
one
line
equals to
some; code; thet; could; also; fit; in; one; line
(the white spaces are not strictly necessary, but make it a lot more readable)

===Scripting===
Basically a script is nothing else than regular shell commands written to a file, so you don't have to type them over and over again.

====Comments====
Everything preceded by a '#' is a comment which is completely ignored by bash (You can still use '#' within strings, since the quotes discard it's special meaning). Comments can and should be used in scripts to explain complicated code with a not very obvious purpose. (You don't only do this for others, but also for yourself. Half a year after coding some piece of shit you'll be happy, if you commented properly)
# This is a comment
some_code # This is a comment, too
some_code '# this is not a comment' "# this neither." # "but this is one"
A very handy use of comments is to temporarily disable parts of code for testing/searching errors.
A special comment is the 'Shebang'. It is put into the first line of a script file to tell the operating system which program it should use to run the script. It consits of the '#' followed by an exclamation point and the path to the program that should be used to run the script. For bash scripts this would usually be
#!/bin/bash

==Examples==
The following examples might help you improve your bash skills. To try them, simply copy and paste them a bash shell, or paste them to a file, then make the file executable by running
chmod +x path/to/file
After that you can run the script by typing the path to it in the shell. To make it easier to call your awesome script, you can put it into a directory which is in bash's search path, then you can call your script by its filename only. (For user created scripts /usr/local/bin/ is a suitable place)

===THE GAME===
Always know if you just lost it, or if you're still in your 30 minutes period of immunity. Save to 'thegame', make executable and run every time you suspect you just lost THE GAME. Then the script will keep track of the last time you lost it to make sure you can enjoy all your 30 minutes of immunity.

<pre>
#!/bin/bash

CONFIG="${HOME}/.thegamerc" # Config file to store last time of losing

# Explicitly declare variables needed for time calculation as integers, to
# make sure they're not accidentally interpreted as strings
declare -i LAST_TIME_LOST
declare -i NOW=$(date +%s) # Now, a UNIX timestamp of the current time
declare -i TOLERANCE=1800 # Tolerance for not losing: 30 minutes

echo 'THE GAME.'

# Try to read last time of playing from config. Else default to 0 (UNIX time)
if [ -e ${CONFIG} ]
then
# Read only the first line of the config file,
# since there should be no more lines.
LAST_TIME_LOST=$(head -n 1 ${CONFIG})
else
LAST_TIME_LOST=0
fi

# PLAY!
if [ $((${LAST_TIME_LOST}+${TOLERANCE})) -lt ${NOW} ]
then
# If last time plus tolerance are before (lesser than) now, you lost.
echo 'You just lost it.'
# To make sure you can enjoy your 30 minutes of immunity,
# the timestamp of now is stored to the config file
echo ${NOW} > ${CONFIG}
else
DIFFERENCE=$(( ${LAST_TIME_LOST}+${TOLERANCE}-${NOW} ))
echo "Time remaining until you lose again: ${DIFFERENCE} seconds"
fi

# We are a polite game :P
echo 'Thank you for playing!'
</pre>

==See Also==

* [[Shell]]
* [[wpcomment.sh]]

{{softwarez}}
{{programming}}
[[Category:Softwarez]]

Java

2024-08-10T06:10:52Z

Stooge: Cleaned up the article.

{{FactCat|'''[[Lie|JavaScript is not Java.]] If you were looking for [[Javascript]], you might want to look [[Javascript|here]], [[you]] ignorant fuck.'''}}

<center><youtube>Mk3qkQROb_k</youtube></center>

Java is an [[Slowpoke|interpreted]] language which is [[Special|unique]] in that it includes a pretend compiler so that [[Skript kiddie|Java programmers]] can feel like they're using a [[C|grownup programming language]]. It is [[Objectivism|object oriented]] and has automatic [[garbage]] collection to make it as easy as possible to allocate memory.

Java is like [[Alzheimers]]: it starts slow and eventually takes away all of your memory. Something Java fans like to talk about is the [[Ebonics|JIT]] compiler which eventually does turn Java into [[Machine code|native code]] but only after it's been interpreted [[Over 9000|10,000]] times. By that time the program has probably already crashed with an out of memory error. Programming in Java drives most [[hacker]]s permanently [[insane]]. Evidence of this can easily be obtained by attempting to comprehend the content of [http://picocontainer.codehaus.org/ this website].

Java is notable (along with [[Flash]]) for being one of the few technologies that allows [[Alan Turing]] to [[pwn]] your [[browser]]. Also of note is that Java is one of the most bloated languages with a minimum of twelve lines needed to do something as complex as print "Hello" on the screen.

Java is like [[C]] for people who are too [[pussy]] to do real programming. Instead of creating actual fucking programs anyone can run on any computer, one must have a separate interpreter installed on their computer in order to run the bytecode, which is what Java calls code that's been "compiled". Unfortunately, since no one has installed this [[At least 100 years ago|since Flash came out]], no one will be able to use your user-programmable Pokedex (only 500MB!)

{{quote|Java is high performance. By high performance we mean adequate. By adequate we mean slow.|[http://www.mrbunny.com/ Mr. Bunny]}}

Java [[GUI]] applications are dogshit [[Slowpoke|slow]] to load and run, and [[Condom|never feel right]]. To deflect criticism and hide this [[shit]]tiness from decent, honest folk who are just trying to get some work done quickly, Java developers:
* use splash screens to mask the load time (they call this a "[[LHC|time warp]].")
* use ''external, non-Java'' splash screen software when even the previous item [[Fail|fails]] at fooling the user ([http://java.sun.com/developer/technicalArticles/J2SE/Desktop/javase6/splashscreen/ srsly])
* blame the Virtual Machine vendor
* blame the user for not fiddling with his Virtual Machine settings
* blame the user for not already having the JVM cached in memory. "What are you, a fucking [[LOL|retard]]?"
* use third-party toolkits
* fool you with bullshit millisecond measurements. "Who are you going to believe, me, or your lying eyes?"

Any version of Java released in the past 10 years requires the user to download a 110 megabyte file (compared to the 70 meg download for [[Shit Nobody Cares About|Microsoft's .NET Framework]]) which then tries to install the [[Internet Explorer|Ask Toolbar]]. Good job, Oracle. Java web applets run in a [[sandbox]] and unless your applet is [[Internet license|signed]], it [[H4x|can't even access your clipboard]] but nobody uses Java applets anyway.

Since Java is the all-ruling and most powerful language in the universe, one might think that was is easy to learn. He would be right. Even [[Teachers|half-assed morons]] can learn how to do it. Java isn't about creating something from scratch, its just an intricate [[Copypasta|copy and paste]] program.

== Why Use Java? ==
{{quote|Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.|A [[.Net]] programmer}}

Java is [[bullshit|platform independent]], like all its competitors [[Shit nobody cares about|C#, PHP, ASP.NET, ASP, C, C++, Python, etc...]]
The only logical use of Java is building browser games which use Java applets today and to get on [[Oracle Corporation|Larry]]'s good side since they fucked MySQL. Period.

==Using Java==
=== Hello World! I'm a program that is useless! ===
This is the layout of a basic "Hello World" in Java:
<pre style="margin-right:220px;">
public class HelloWorld
{
public static void main(String[] args)
{
System.out.println("Hello World! I'm a useless program!");
}
}
</pre>

Lets look at this a little deeper(eww). The first line is the class heading. This program is "public", which means it is avaliable to other programs for their use. This heading creates a "class" called helloWorld. "helloWorld" is an identifier, which means the programmer names it, so it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it doesn't contain numbers or spaces.

The bracket on line 2 contains the class.

The next line contains the method, called "main". Again, public means the same as above, but for the method, instead of the class. void means that it doesn't return a value, and main is the name of the method. (Just take my word for it, you have to write it this way until you become more advanced in Java).

The next line calls the "System.out.println" method, which prints the text in the double quotes to the console. You have a ";" at the of a statement to tell the compiler to stop for that statement.

Then you end with two brackets.

Of course, any java weenie will tell you that this is totally wrong. Static methods are bad. As are using the "no-name" package. Also, putting opening braces on a new line is completely retarded, as any non-retarded person knows. What you really need is something like:

<pre style="margin-right:220px;">
package com.mydomain.sampleprograms;

public class HelloWorld {
public static void main(String[] args) {
new HelloWorld().helloWorld();
}

protected void helloWorld() {
System.out.println("Hello World! I'm a useless program!");
}
}
</pre>

Instead of using static methods they might even go further and create so called singleton classes which do the EXACT samething but instead they don't have the static declaration.

If you use static methods the java weenie will "blame" you of having a C programer's mind. (As if it is something to be ashamed of)

The only case they let you to use static methods is the mathematical functions such as sin,cos,sqrt. The reason they let you do is, that they forgot to make the Math class singleton during the development of java. It is rumored that Math class would be a singleton either but some of the java developers said: "OK guys.. Object Oriented.. nice.. but.. what the f*ck are we doing here?? aren't we going too stupid?" Than they used static methods. Later those developers quited java and Math class became one of the few classes that used static methods.

An example of a stupid "singleton" helloworld:

<pre style="margin-right:220px;">
package com.mydomain.sampleprograms;

public class HelloWorld {

private static HelloWorld hw;

public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println(HelloWorld.getInstance());
}

public static HelloWorld getInstance(){
if(hw == null){
hw = new HelloWorld();
}
return hw;
}

private HelloWorld() {
//constructor became entirely useless
//but whatever static methods are "bad"
}

public String toString(){
return "Hello World! I'm a useless program!";
}
}
</pre>

=== Developing a GUI in Java===
<center><youtube>gR1PujzQ53Q</youtube></center>
Java has two GUI packages, which are AWT and Swing.
Use Swing for...
*Making your app look like legitimate Java applications.
*Actually, you can change how it looks in code, but the programs end up looking like shit for those lazy Java programmers who don't want to. But since you're using Java, what do you expect?
*When you use Swing, the poor user will see the same components in all platforms, which is great.
*If you, the programmer, like putting a "J" in front of EVERY. FREAKING. THING. No, seriously. When you have a nice regular "Frame" in AWT, you have a stinking "JFrame" in Swing. Where the heck did the "J" come from? This is proof that James Gosling, the creator of Java, really likes "J"s.
*Swing was originally made as an extension package. Not legit at all. This means that back in the old days, people had to go off and download something extra to make Swing run. That's why it has an "x" on the package name ("javax.swing") instead of just the "java". 
Use AWT for...
*Making your app look like the OS default apps.
:*So when you run it on a Mac, you make it look like Steve Job's thing, and when you run it on a Windows, it looks stupid.
*When you want your program to look retarded if it gets used on an OS you didn't design it for. 
Since you, the hapless programmer, are using Java for OS independence, you, like all other Java developers, will use Swing components. After testing your software, you will see how slow Java works. Java itself might be stable, but the difficulty of programming makes the programmer ignore all exception handling (too time consuming), so the software will eventually be buggy in some way. Unless, of course, you spend [[over 9000]] years debugging your code. Which is exactly what James Gosling intended. Use C# instead!

=== The Reflection API ===
<center><youtube>b-Cr0EWwaTk</youtube></center>
NOTE: This section is under construction. Come back later for more lulz.

The Reflection API is one of the few elements of Java that was not jacked from another language and passed off as an original feature. It is Java's method of introspection, which means that while your program is running, it can check all sorts of [[shit|fun stuff]] about your program. In short, it is the programming equivalent of licking your own balls. Using the Reflection API, you can do all sorts of fun stuff like getting the code for the statement you're running! What fun! This virus conveniently takes the form of a method found in every object in Java (<code>getClass()</code>), so you can stare at your own ugly code any time you want.

TL;DR: Don't use introspection. You'll crash physics.

=== Restarting the VM ===
If you use Java shared hosting and you can't be bothered to open a ticket just to get the server restarted (who has time for that anyway?) You can restart the virtual machine any time you want using this slick little piece of java code:

<pre>
Object[] o = null; for(;;) { o = new Object[] {o}; }
</pre>

The [[Admin|admins]] will admire your [[Dumb|cleverness]] and [[ban|appreciate]] you for not opening tickets every time you need a restart. Disclamer: [[Skript kiddie|I didn't discover this]]

=== Boolean literals - true and false ===

The two values are written with the reserved words true and false.
coded as:

boolean butthurt;

butthurt = true;

or all at once:

boolean butthurt = true;

== Trolling Java [[Fanboy|Fanboys]] ==
Much like [[Apple]], Java has a user base who would die defending it. These people like to say "it's [[Bullshit|just as fast as C]]" and "it's not slow it only [[Truth|starts slow]]". These people are ridiculously easy to troll because almost anything you can say about their sorry excuse for a programming language will make them [[butthurt]].
Here are a few ways to get [[lulz]] from Java "programmers":

* Say '''interpreter'''. They hate this word, they like ''virtual machine'' since it sounds cool and futuristic while ''interpreter'' is just a program that evaluates script.
* Ask why in such a fast language, nobody ever wrote a video player or [[Minecraft|a game]].
* Point out that everyone else uses [[php]] for web apps.
* Point out that everyone else uses [[C]] for desktop apps.
* Ask where to find affordable Java hosting.
* Mention that Eclipse IDE is now using GCJ to convert their Java into [[machine code]] so it will run faster.
* Join a Java IRC [[chan]] and ask for help with GCJ, tell people it's faster.
* Write a [http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/news/2010/08/oracle-sues-google-over-use-of-java-in-android-sdk.ars java interpreter that is not slow]. OMG if it's not a resource hog <s>Sun</s> Oracle won't be able to sell the new ''SparkXXXIV Genitalia'' 800 core processor.
* Create another programming language and give it the same name.

{{quote|We did [[JavaScript]] to try to be an intermediate bridge between [[HTML]] and Java. I got in huge fights with [[Sun]] over this. They got mad. Then I told them we wanted to [[Win|name it JavaScript]], and that made them even [[You Mad|madder]].|Marc Andreessen on [[doing it right]] ([http://www.zdnet.com.au/andreessen-php-succeeding-where-java-isn-t-139218171.htm sauce])}}

=== Loops ===

if loop- if (condition) = true, do code.

int i = 0;

if (i<5){
System.out.println(i);
}

This code checks to see if variable i is less than 5, if it is print out i's value.
This code will print: 0

for loop- for (A;B;C){
statements;
}
A-initialization
B-termination
C-increment
Example:

for (int i=0;i<5;i++){
System.out.println(i);
}

This code sets variable i to start at 0, check if its less then 5, if it is run statements and increment i by one.
This will print:
0
1
2
3
4
while loop- while (condition) do statements

This one is pretty straight forward, if the condition is true, do the statements.
Example:

int i=0;

while(i<5){
System.out.println(i++);
}

This will print:
0
1
2
3
4
do while loop- do statements while (condition)

Very similar to the while loop, but the do while loop always executes once since it evaluates the condition after the statement. A while will never run if the condition is false.

do {
Statements;
}
while(condition);

Do the statement until the condition equals true.

Example:

int i=0;
do {
System.out.println(i);
} while (i>5);

Note that the condition is false and will never be true from this code. So the statement will only run once.
This will print: 0

=== Comparison operators ===
[[Image:Pouring_coffee.jpg|thumb|If you write in Java, you'll have time to make a pot of this while your code is compiling.]]

Comparison operators are used to compare two primitive values (rarely objects).
The comparison operators are:

< less than

<= less than or equal to

== equal to

> greater than

>= greater than or equal to

!= not equal to

6 < 24 is true

6 <= 24 is true.

OP == fag is true

6 == 24 is false.

10 >= 10 is true.

10 > 10 is false.

6 != 24 is true.

=== Logical operators ===

Logical operators are like an extension of comparison operators.
The logical operators are:

&& and

|| or

Example:
a && b and The result is true only if both a and b are true.

a || b or The result is true if either a or b is true.

You can also use the not operator.
!a not true if a is false and false if a is true.

<pre>
int i=0;

int j=4;

if (i>3||j<=4){

System.out.println("hfsdkjhs");

}
</pre>
This will print the statement because the or operator only requires one of the conditions to be true.

<pre>
if (i>3&&j<=4){

System.out.println("hfsdkjhs");

}
</pre>
This wont print since the and operator requires all the conditions to be true.

<pre>
if (!(i>3)&&j<=4){

System.out.println("hfsdkjhs");

}
</pre>
This will print the statement since !(i>3) is actually true, so both conditions are now true.

===Memory allocation and garbage collection===

What? You are too lazy to tediously free() all your mallocs()?

== Problems ==
=== Lack of Unsigned Numbers ===
There is no such thing as unsigned numeric values in Java because Sun thought they would be too difficult for programmers to grasp. This is the intelligence level that Java is built around.

=== Commenting ===
Fuck commenting.

What the above statement means is that since it was featured on the web buttplug [[xkcd]] (http://xkcd.com/156/), '''commenting is retarded'''.

=== Type Bullshit ===
Java implements strict typing yet hypocritically has loose type casting (like your mom's horse dick), so adding two '''bytes''' with a value of 1 will result in an '''int''', not a '''short''', which is the next storage type above byte. If you want to store an unsigned byte, you better use an int and do some magic <strike>operator overloading</strike> add/sub/mul/div function gymnastics for the math to work.

===State of Java===

As the use of this useless language is dying, many people often use it to make shitty ass websites. Example:
[http://www.hooverhoops.com]

==Things Programmed Using Java==
*[[Minecraft|Terraria]]
*[[Pr0n]]
*[[Niggers]]
*[[Steve Jobs]]
*[[16 Year Old Girls]]. What a demonstration of how retarded Java is.
*[[Minecraft]]

== See Also ==
* [[Python]] a superior object-oriented language
* [[CamelCase]] TheAnnoyingWayJavaProgrammersUseAbsurdlyLongFunctionNamesWithoutUsingTheUnderscoreCharacter

==External links==
*[http://www.bejug.org/confluenceBeJUG/download/attachments/3920/JavaCondom.jpg What Java is really about]
*[http://www.oracle.com/technetwork/java/javase/index.html Sun Java SE – Sun's current stable release]
*[http://www.sun.com/service/developer/index.jsp Developer Support Services from Sun Microsystems]
*[http://www.javarmi.com Java Learning And Tutorial]

{{programming}}
{{softwarez}}
[[Category: Softwarez]]
[[Category: Internets Phenomena]]

WikiLeaks

2024-08-10T05:50:54Z

Stooge: I deem this article in need of a cleanup.

{{cleanup}}
[[Image:Wikileaks.jpg|thumb|right|i think wikileaks is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eh makes world leaders [[butthurt]] and doesn't afraid of anything.]]
[[File:Assange-lol-u-mad.jpg|thumb|Julian [[Aspergers|Assange]] to [[Black Jesus]]]]
[[File:Demotiv_pic_7924-Julian_Assange.jpg|thumb|Julian on Internet LULZ]]
[[File:Asshead_rape.jpg|thumb|He dun told you]]
[[File:Anna_bernardin_almost_raped.JPG|thumb|Anna Ardin, supposed [[sex|rape]] ''"victim"''.]]
[[File:Christmassange.jpg|thumb|[[A Plus|A+]] grade trolling.]]
'''Wikileaks''' is a [[website]] that poses as a free for all [[wiki]] site to allow [[anonymous]] people of all countries to release classified [[government]] and [[corporate]] [[dox|documents]] [[for the lulz]], thus giving any snitch in any position of power in any country the incentive to disobey top-secret orders and betray his country for [[profit]]. It's run by [[Barack Obama]]'s evil albino twin [[australia|Julian Assange]], whose own white messianic rise to power mirrors that of [[Black Jesus]]. Its inevitable that they will have to face each other in a fight to the death in the near future.

[[Some argue|Some say]] it a good site to [[troll]] governments and other organizations and [[the man]] is constantly trying to [[censor]] it. The quality of trolling by Wikileaks has been so high, that there is no government or corporation on this earth that does not want Assange dead.

If you thought that [[Wikipedia]] had a massive case of [[unwarranted self-importance]] when it claimed to be "the sum of all human knowledge", just [https://wikileaks.org/wiki/Wikileaks:About#Why_is_Wikileaks_so_important.3F try this one on for size]:

{{quote|We believe Wikileaks is the strongest way we have of generating the true democracy and good governance on which '''all''' mankind's dreams depend.|Some [[TL;DR]] shit backs up this highly '''bold''' statement.}}

Yeah, so you've told us that Wikileaks is the ultimate revolutionary [[moralfag]] site... [[cool story bro]]!

[[Some argue]] Wikileaks is, in fact, a cover-up site made by [[the man]]. They point out that instead of providing us with crucial information for revolutionary practices (i.e. the location of secret [[jew gold]] deposit, technical detail of nano-biochip which is going to be clandestinely implemented to every single non-jew, and [[Illuminati]]'s plan on human extinction of year [[2012]]), the wiki itself is full of [[shit nobody cares about]].

Wikileaks also let us know the interesting [[fact]] that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] was on the [[Australian]] government's [[IWF|list of blacklisted websites]]. We can't show enough just how grateful we are for being kept in the know. It is best not to [[rage]] about internet censorship because we all know that the people coming up with these blacklists are nothing more than [[epic]] [[trolls]] themselves and are doing it for the [[Xzibit|lulz of watching us not have our lulz]].

This all said, it's undeniably obvious that the WikiLeaks invention has resulted in the most epic and lulziest conflict between powerful nations since [[World War II]]. Does this mean we'll finally get to see the latest installment of the classic World War series that we've all been waiting for? Let's hope so! In the meantime, be sure to stay tuned and remember to stock up on your bags of popcorn and beer.

==Why does it only leak stuff people already know?==
{{quote3|
Jon Stewart: I think you're underestimating how cynical Americans are about their government already...unless we're going to find out the aliens from Area 51 killed Kennedy? Stop with the drama. 
Jon Stewart: Is Hillary Clinton Embarrassed By WikiLeaks? 
Hillary: Uh, Were You Alive In The Nineties? 
--[[The Daily Show]], December 2010 [https://www.businessinsider.com/jon-stewart-wikileaks-assange-video-2010-12]}}

{{quote3|
"Many weirdos email us about UFOs or how they discovered that they were the anti-christ while talking with their ex-wife at a garden party over a pot-plant, however, as yet they have not satisfied two of our publishing rules: 
"1) that the documents not be self-authored. 
"2) that they be original. 
"It is worth noting that in yet-to-be-published parts of the cablegate archive there are indeed references to UFOs."

--Julian Assange, part of the coverup [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/wikileaks/8180528/Wikileaks-new-diplomatic-cables-contain-UFO-details-says-Julian-Assange.html]}}

From Weekly World News [https://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/25645/wikileaks-ufos/].
<div style="max-height:360px;overflow-y:scroll">[[File:Weekly world news spoof on wikileaks.png|none]]</div>

==Vanning?==
<center><s>The U.S. Department of Defense is currently "looking" for Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. He is in [[England]].</s>He was arrested in Sweden for being an apparant [[rape|sex offender]].</center>
 
[[File:Takingitseriously.jpg|center]]
 
Assange is a couch surfer and has no [[dox|actual physical address]], preferring to crash at friend's houses for extended periods, making him constantly on the move. As such, it's been very challenging for the Feds to locate him.

How do you go about finding someone who is hard to find? Why, you accuse them of [[rape]], of course. Swedish officials issued a warrant for Assange's arrest on charges of suspicion of "[[bullshit|rape and molestation]]". After realizing that people aren't totally stupid, and completely saw right through this transparent attempt to apprehend Assange, the Swedish government then promptly withdrew the warrant. They said there "wasn't enough evidence to support the charges".

*[https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna38796121]
*[https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE67K0ZU20100821]

'''''UPDATE'': All "rape"-related dox are now concentrated at {{wayback|http://www.inmalafide.com/the-julian-assange-false-rape-file/|20101231084018|title=this page}}. Handy!'''

The identity of one of the alleged "rape victims" is now known: Anna Ardin, of the Swedish "Brotherhood Movement". Ardin is the Political Secretary and an author for the Brotherhood Movement, Sweden's Christian Social Democrats. <s>[http://www.inmalafide.com/2010/12/08/anna-ardin-sofia-wilens-contact-information-and-addresses/ Her dox and info were just released on the internet]</s> (dead)
[[File:Anna_fartin.jpg|thumb|right|Another photo of Anna Ardin]]
[[File:Sofia_wilen.jpg|thumb|right|Sofia Wilen, even uglier [[rape]] ''"victim"'']]
*Address: Alströmergatan 32 112 47 STOCKHOLM AND/OR Tjurbergsgatan 36 4tr 118 56 Stockholm
*Mobile: <s>(+46)73-3907017</s> (No Longer in service) AND/OR 0854555332 (src: '''{{archive|TrPJn|}}''')
*Blog: '''{{wordpress|annaardin}}'''
*Twitter: '''{{twitter|annaardin}}'''

The other "victim" is Sofia Wilén
*Address: Torggatan 45 745 30 ENKÖPING
*Mobile: <s>(+46)76-7161609</s> (No Longer in service)
*Birthday: 17 Sep
:Some argue that the above is false and that the following is correct:
:*Address: Tørgetan 45 443 30 NEKØP
:*Mobile: <s>(+46)77-7263679</s> (No Longer in service)
:*Birthday: 10 Aug

*'''{{archive|RUrqk|The Swedish news report}}'''
*{{wayback|http://www.socialdemokraterna.se/broderskap|20100819044103|title=Website of the Brotherhood Movement}}
*{{wayback|http://twitter.com/kristenvanster|20100828104744|title=The Brotherhood Movement's twitter}}

Swedish officials have now re-issued the arrest warrant for Assange, this time as an international one. Apparently, not having enough evidence is not a factor, when [[USA|Uncle Sam]] says jump YOU'D BETTER FUCKING JUMP.

*'''{{archive|8Ub7J|}}'''

BREAKING LULZ! Assange turned himself in to the British police, but when told he'd have to go back to Sweeden for a trial, he said "Aw hell naw!" Further muddying the waters, Ardin has absconded to the Israeli occupied territories in full Muslim head gear, leaving the Swedish prosecutrix to pretty much fondle herself with the dead case material. Meanwhile, the Arabic-language newspaper Syria Truth has published an interview with former MickyLeaks Club mouskateer Daniel Schidt, aka Daniel Schmitt, aka some fucking long double German last name, where he spills that Assange met in Geneva with an "unofficial" Israeli official last spring to cut a deal on keeping sensitive material out of the cablebait "leaks," and that Assange made out like a bandit in the deal. Of course Schnitt has everything to gain by pinning graft, corruption and Mossad deals on Assange now, and is feeling massively butthurt he left the mouse clubhouse just before the real edrama commenced. Syria, Israel, Palestine, Geneva--all the makings of a lame spy thriller like the kind lulzmeister E. Howard Hunt used to pen during his off-time when he wasn't assassinating JFK and stuff. Adding to the hint of jewgoldz at work: Sofia Vilen, an obvious pseudonym based on Monica Lewinsky-Vilenski, who will now produce an OMG dress with stains PROVING RAEP.

==Alleged CIA connections of the accusers (you can't make this shit up)==

Soon after the identities of "Miss A" (because she took it in the ass) and "Miss W" (because she took it in the "wagina", German spelling) became known, rumors of CIA-[[prostitute|honeytrapping]] emerged. This enraged Claes Borgström, the lawyer of the two new-fledged [[rule 34]]-superstars. "How can anyone dare to say that?" he [[drama|shrieked]]. The [[cum]] really hit the [[bukkake]]-fan when a secret CIA spokesperson pointed out that both Missy Ass and Missy Wagina are way too [[fugly]] to be eligible for prostitution for the Central Intelligence Agency. From the official statement: "The agency trains and employs only 10s for copulation. Ardin and Wilen are only 2s or 3s. Any gentleman will tell you: that's active anilingus material at best, so that one does not need to see the fugly face. Wiles is even overweight -- I mean, come on! Just look at them!" This enraged Claes Borgström, the laywer of the two new-fledged non-prostitutes. "How can anyone dare to say that?" he [[drama|shrieked]]. The [[lulz]] are on Julian Assange now, who has shown surprisingly little class in regard to his [[sex|copulation]] partners. Julian probably [[fap]]s to the swim-suit section in his mother's old Sears-Roebuck catalogs.

==The Wikileaks Massive Dox Dump==
[[File:Lolwikileaks.jpg|thumb|]]

On October 22, 2010, Wikileaks released a gigantic trove of [[US]] military documents related to the [[Iraq|Iraq War]]. There were [[tl;dr|391,832 documents]] released in all, revealing approximately 15,000 previously unaccounted for deaths. As analysts make their way through the stack of documents, more and more information comes to the surface. While the Pentagon and the White House scramble around in damage control mode, Hasbro intends to make lemonade out of lemons by coming out with their latest installment of Trivial Pursuit: The Iraq War Edition. 
'''Did you know...'''
#[https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2010-oct-23-la-fg-iraq-wikileaks-20101023-story.html ...Iraqi forces were much better at Abu Ghraibing prisoners than the US?]
#[https://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/23/world/middleeast/23casualties.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all ...secret body counts were being tallied while publicly they were denied?]
#[https://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/23/world/middleeast/23iran.html?pagewanted=al ...that Iran actually was providing most of the support for the insurgency?]
 
After the dumping of the [[dox]], interview requests poured in for Mr. Assange. As someone who sees himself as an [[hippy|anti-war activist]], Julian is more than happy to engage in a discussion about resulting [[lulz]]. Curiously though, there are apparently some topics for him that are off limits. While he's perfectly content to drop the names of Iraqis working with the US who will probably now get skinned and boiled alive, talking about "raped" Swedish CIA agents seems to be out of the question.

{{frame|<youtube>eYU7pdGfrUM</youtube>|margin=auto}}

===The Empire Strikes Back===
Leon Panetta says the [[CIA]] will "[[rape|fully investigate]]" the Wikileaks document release.

*'''{{archive|u2hZy|}}'''

==The Gigantic Cable Dump of November 2010==
[[File:Julian wikileaks.jpg|right|thumb|Julian Badassange]]
On November 28, 2010 Wikileaks started publishing a small section of the total 251,287 cables sent to the US government from various embassies around the world. A mixed bag of top secret and kind-of-secret reports, most of which gave scathing assessments of world leaders and their policies, through the eyes of the US ambassadors sent abroad:
 
*[[Pakistan|PAKISTAN]]: US believes that they, under [[rape|economic pressure]], may sell enriched Uranium (capable of making a nuke) to [[Islam|terrorists]]
*[[China|CHINA]]: China discusses a unified Korea under [[Good Korea|South Korean]] rule, and say they will make it happen by leaving [[Best Korea|North Korea]] to decline by itself and letting it collapse after the death of its official religious deity, Kim Jong-il
*[[Good Korea|SOUTH KOREA]]: US and [[Good Korea|South Korea]] discussed a unified Korea, and SK has considered [[whore|commercial inducements]] to [[China]] in order to get it
*[[Torture|GUANTANAMO BAY]]: The US has pressured countries to take prisoners from there (into their own prisons) in return for [[sex|favors]]
*[[Afghanistan|AFGHANISTAN]]: The Afghan Vice-President was found with $52million in cash when visiting UAE ([[implying]] massive levels of [[coke and hookers|corruption]])
*[[China|CHINA]]: China really did hack Google China, and has also hacked [[USA|western government]] and [[Microsoft|corporate PCs]]
*[[Saudi Arabia|SAUDI ARABIA]]: [[Obvious|Saudi donors are still the chief sponsors of Al Qaeda]] + King Abdullah dislikes Iraqi and Pakistani leaders. No shit, sherlock. We've known this for a quarter century.
*[[Russia|RUSSIA]]: Putin and Berlusconi are [[bff|butt buddies]] to the point that Berlusconi is Russia's [[blowjob|mouthpiece]] in Europe [[buttsecks|(talk of lavish gifts both ways)]]
*[[Germany|GERMANY]]: US warned Germany not to arrest [[spies|CIA officers]] involved in a bungled kidnapping of a German civilian
*[[Israel|ISRAEL]]: Israel planned to strike [[Iran]] offensively if Iran continues nuclear development. Israel's intention for the blockade of Gaza was to keep Gaza perpetually "[[Blueballs|on the brink of collapse]] without [[ejaculation|pushing it over the edge]]."
*YEMEN: Took credit on US' request for missile strike on Al Qaeda. Got high and partied with the fine herbage. Requested [[moar|MOAR BOOZE]].
[[File:Julian Fawkes.jpg|thumb|W for Wikileaks. Resistance is not futile.]]
*[[Iran|IRAN]]: US is getting increasingly worried that Iran has the capabilities to produce Uranium. [[Godwin's Law|Ahmadinejad was also compared to Hitler.]]
*LIBYA: Dictator Qaddafi has a Ukranian [[whore|"nurse"]] companion that never leaves his side + he reneged on a deal to return uranium to Russia, after having loaned it to a scientist for a project involving a stainless steel car. Now, Russia wants its woman back.
*[[Britain|BRITAIN]]: Cameron has been reported to be "easily intimidated" and "indecisive" by US Intelligence.
*[[Argentina|ARGENTINA]]: Hillary Clinton wanted to know if President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner is a [[latina|batshit crazy bitch and if she was taking drugs.]]
*[[Venezuela|VENEZUELA]]: Chavez should be [[Dying Alone|isolated from the world]].
*[[United Nations|U.N.]]: Hillary Clinton ordered U.S. diplomats to spy on diplomats of other nations at the U.N. which is, ironically, completely b& by the U.N. Charter. She even went as far as ordering them to gather [[Semen|DNA]], [[grope|fingerprints]], [[stare|iris scans]], [[fraud|credit card numbers]], and frequent flier numbers of other diplomats.
 
[[Obama]] has had a tough time speaking out against the biggest security leak in history since he basically campaigned on the idea of making government more "transparent". White House speech writers have suggested that he have a press conference in front of a banner that says "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED". Fuck Yeah, America!

Meanwhile, as the new congress prepares to take their seats, they're already toying with the idea of having Wikileaks declared a [[terrorist]] organization. Run Julian, run.
[[File:AssangeInterpLOL.JPG|thumb|left|Wanted by the Interpol. For crimes of [[secks|love]].]] 
On November 30th, 2010, [[Interpol]] added Julian Assange to their "Most Wanted" list. Move over Lupin the III.
*'''{{archive|iPhCN|}}'''

A radio talk show host is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the capture of Julian Assange.
*{{wayback|http://www.schnittshow.com/pages/reward.html|20101205133338}}
{{clear}}

==The Insurance File==
Super secret file, so dramatic that it comes with aes256 encryption. Wikileaks encourages people to mirror this file whenever they get ready to drop some massive damage. Once you have the key for it (Little Orphan Annie decoder ring), and wasted time downloading all 1.4 Gigs, you crack it open revealing the secret texts to find they just held down ctrl+v a few million times. It reads "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

SPOILER: The key is ONION, [[Lies|srsly.]]

==America's response==
 
[[File:Julian_Assange_vs_Mark_Zuckerberg.jpg|thumb|center| 700 px| The [[truth]] sometimes can`t be any funnier. [[American]] Government and Corporation`s [[Butthurt]] over [[Julian Assange]] and praise for the money-grabbing and [[Docs| personal information smuggling]] [[Jew]] is ironically hilarious yet not surprising at all !1!1!]]
 
==The Curious Case of Michael Hastings==
Has anyone who has been believed to be in contact with WikiLeaks ever died a violent death before?

Michael Hastings is a currently dead [[Afghanistan]] war correspondent and writefag who had worked for Newsweek, Rolling Stone, and Buzzfeed. In June 2010, Rolling Stone published his profile of General McChrystal. On June 23, 2010 [[Black Jesus]] called McChrystal to the Black House and fired him. In February 2012, Hastings said [[DHS]] was keeping track of [[Epic Fail Guy|Occupy Wall Street]] protesters. Hastings also criticized the [[Democrat]]ic Party, the Obozo administration, and the surveillance state when the DOJ investigated reporters in 2013 and called it a war on journalism. His last story came out on [[Buzzfeed]] on June 7, 2013 and was called "Why [[Democrat]]s Love to Spy On Americans."

Eleven days after "Why Democrats Love to Spy On Americans" was published, in some kind of [[Obvious|crazy coincidence]], Hastings died in a fiery car crash in [[LA]] which involved a single vehicle, a Mercedes C250 Coupe, going at maximum speed and bursting into flames before crashing into a palm tree, which ejected the engine about 55 yards away, and burning his body to a crisp like Paul "2 Fast 2 Furious" Walker. Later the LAPD said there were [[moron|no signs of foul play]], and the coroner said the death was an accident. Richard Clarke said the crash was consistent with a car cyber attack by [[hax0r]]z, saying that intelligence agencies know how to remotely seize control of a [[car]]. The "crazy" conspiracy theory that cars can be remotely hijacked, was supported nearly 4 years later when WikiLeaks began releasing Vault 7 on March 7, 2017, which contained information on the [[CIA]]'s interest in remotely hijacking cars. Nothing to see here folks!

Days before the crash, Hastings emailed friends saying he was onto a big story and needed to go off the radar and believed he was under [[FBI]] investigation. Cenk Uygur, who is the host of The Young Turks and was a friend of his, said Hastings worried he was under surveillance by the government. The widow of Hastings said the last story he was working on was a profile of [[CIA]] Director John Brennan. Days before he died, Hastings thought his car was being tampered with and was scared and wanted to leave town. WikiLeaks said '''Hastings had contacted a WikiLeaks lawyer Jennifer Robinson hours before the crash'''. On the day of he came to resemble burnt toast, Hastings went to his neighbor after midnight, said he was afraid to drive his own car, and asked to borrow her car, which that selfish [[cunt]] declined.

The FBI said Hastings was not being investigated by the FBI, yet the FBI had a file on Hastings since at least 2012. In July 2013, two men filed a lawsuit against the FBI for failing to respond to their FOIA request within 20 days. The FBI file on Hastings was publicly released on September 24, 2013, showing that the FBI's DC field office opened a file in June 2012 on Hastings regarding his story in Rolling Stone on June 7, 2012. Hastings wrote in a [[Reddit|Leddit]] AMA about getting death threats, and also wrote about death threats in his book The Operators, which was later turned into a movie on [[Netflix]] starring Brad Aniston Jolie which came out May 2017.

'''Pop Quiz''': Michael Hastings contacted a lawyer for WikiLeaks hours before he died. [[Some argue]] [[Seth Rich]] was in contact with WikiLeaks before he died. Compare the [[old media|media]]'s reaction to the death of Michael Hastings to the media's reaction to the death of Seth Rich.

==Trolling Wikileaks==
[[File:Julian_Assange_has_a_posse.png|thumb|[[X has a posse|Hipsterfied]] Assange.]]
Wikileaks is harder than most wikis to troll because it isn't actually a wiki, i.e. an online database that anyone can edit. It's a database that a select few can edit, so unless you're one of those few then [[vandalism]] is out of the question. It does however have a [https://chat.wikileaks.org/ chat room]. For beginner trolling, drop in on a chat (probably a discussion of Wikileaks's ongoing legal battles) and start out with, "Can you guyz show me where to find..."

*[[Black Jesus|Barack Obama's]] Kenyan birth certificate
*the classified scientific studies of [[Yeti|Bigfoot]], including locations of government facilities where live specimens are held
*the [[docs|official government documents]] on the [[Area 51|Roswell alien invasion of the 1940s and the subsequent alien autopsy reports]]
*the [[W|White House]] [[Jews did WTC|9/11 planning memos]]
*the [[Final Fantasy|Final Fantasy XIV]] beta (tell them it's okay if it's in Japanese)
*the [[Harry Potter|Harry Potter 7 working copy]]

Since you may not get very far this way (being one voice asking about Sasquatch among many voices discussing Wikileaks's ongoing legal proceedings), it would be beneficial to orchestrate a raid and bring in 700 of your closest [[/b/tard|/b/tards]] (or [[sock puppet|sock puppets]]) all avidly discussing the government cover-up of Bigfoot. (Discuss how the likely reason for the cover-up is to appease [[christfags]] who would [[shit brix]] if a the discovery of the [[Creationism|missing link]] were made public.)

Intermediate trolling would be to approach any of the above in a more subtle manner, e.g. "I'm having difficulty finding any documents relating to the [[Messin' With Sasquatch|indigenous Hominoid population of the Pacific Northwest and adjacent sections of Canada]]. Can anyone point me in the right direction?" This technique appears to have been made known to JP "Patches" Assange, who recently turned the tables on would-be vandals by announcing he has sekrit dox on UFOs among the State Department cables.

Another intermediate and perhaps more rewarding course of trolling would be to tell them that they have [[9000|over 100,000]] documents, 99.7% of which are [[shit no one cares about|semi-classified bullshit that even the Pentagon barely gives a fuck about their having]], but don't have jack shit on anything actually relevant. (Mention the '''{{wikilink|Pat_Tillman|official Army coverup of the Pat Tillman murder}}''' for lulz.)

Also, tell them that because they aren't leaking documents that agree with your conspiracy theory, then he must but a CIA shill.

A highly advanced form of trolling Wikileaks would be to submit a fake '''{{archive|QjQHi|document}}''', '''{{archive|OewFU|image}}''', or '''{{ytlink|QzmmlaZ9b9I|video}}''' pertaining to any of the above and actually have it published to the site. This is advanced because they have to employ a rigorous vetting process (or so they claim).

A truly advanced troll would be to submit video evidence of Assange's [[Rape|Rape]] of swedish CIA agents, but the most epic troll would be for Assange himself to submit the tape via the wiki.

{{frame|<youtube>1sEb2KeIX5M</youtube>|margin=auto}}

==Trolled by the Feds==
In an epic example of [[Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this|payback]], the [[Rape|US]] [[Robot|Government]] donned its trollface again and all but obliterated the revenue streams for WikiLeaks by leaning on [[PayPal]] and [[Amazon]] until they [[b&]] the leaky wiki. They managed to get EveryDNS to remove its entry for wikileaks.org (but not to worry, there are plenty of <s>[http://wikileaks.ch/mirrors.html mirrors]</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://wikileaks.ch/mirrors.html|20101207060201|title=(Archived)}}). The Feds then managed to get VISA and Mastercard to stop card payments to Wikileaks. They've also tried to stop young people from reading it by threatening them with being barred from [[Welfare|government jobs]] in the future. (But why would they want that after reading WikiLeaks?)

== Anon Goes [[Moralfag]] ==
[https://www.slashgear.com/anonymous-attacks-sweden-for-pirate-bay-justice-05250759/ #Justice4PirateBay]
 
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|Operationvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>kZNDV4hGUGw</youtube>
;1
|<youtube>8pg_5RCwR-g</youtube>
;2}}
|}}
}}
 
==[[Gay|Mastercard]] is Taken Out==

On December 8th, Mastercard's site was taken out by Operation Payback, hours before its previous statement "They have not disrupted our means of payment." Hours later, the results of Anon's [[Ddos]] attack was shown:

{{quote|On Wednesday, a largely anonymous Internet group, called Operation Payback, claimed responsibility for the attack. It announced, via Twitter, "WE ARE GLAD TO TELL YOU THAT http://www.mastercard.com/ is DOWN AND IT'S CONFIRMED!"| [https://www.csmonitor.com/Business/new-economy/2010/1208/MasterCard-website-goes-down.-Payback-from-WikiLeaks-supporters The headless chickens run]}}

Later that day, [[Gay|Mastercard]] got trolled by [[britfag|DJ Korax]] from AnonOps official radio by prankcalling their support line.

{{frame|<youtube>-4TgCU1CWYo</youtube>|margin=auto}}

==Operation Pay/b/ACKLASH==
On December 11 the first arrests concerning Operation Payback were made. The first to go down is a [https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2010/12/first-arrest-made-in-wikileaks-revenge-attacks/ Dutch 16-year-old boy], who has been arrested by the Dutch High Tech Crime Team and is being held for interrogation. Moot has commented that he hopes this string of arrests helps clean [[B/]] of underaged so called "[[hackers]]" script-kiddies.

Since his release from jail, Jullian Assange has been using the phrase [[The Internet is serious business|"serious business"]] in interviews repeatedly. Ex. "Just another idiot trying to make a name for himself. It's <s>a</s> serious business." [[No|Could this be some subtle way of giving Anonymous a "shout out"]] for [[USI|their efforts]]?

{{frame|<youtube>fUfEoyxLJEQ</youtube>|margin=auto}}

==Let's throw some Jew-hatred into the mix, shall we?==
[[File:Assangeandfriend.jpg|right|thumb|Julian Assange and Israel Shamir plot the destruction of world Jewry.]]
In mid-December, [[old media|several media outlets]] began to report that Assange was collaborating with the notorious anti-semite [[Israel]] Shamir, who is in fact listed as the Wikileaks spokesperson for [[Russia]]. Shamir's equally Jew-hating son is listed as the Wikileaks spokesperson for Scandinavia.
*[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/andrewbrown/2010/dec/17/wikileaks-israel-shamir-russia-scandinavia]
*[https://reason.com/2010/12/14/the-assange-employees/]

Oh gee, let's see here -- a prominent hacker who hates the [[Jews]]. [[Weev|How fucking original]].

Coming soon from Wikileaks: secret documents proving that Hitler [[FACT|actually murdered <s>only 1 million</s>
600,000 Jews in death camps]].

==Book Deal==

JP reportedly recently signed a deal to put his brand oops name on a ghost-written tell-all major full-release book in exchange for $1.5 million, to be used for "legal fees." JP's email addresses, editor@wikileaks.org me@iq.org and proff@iq.org, immediately went dead upon completion of the book deal, aka "donation." Sources close to the actual newspapers carrying the story claim Jews run the publishing house involved.

==August 31, 2011 - We accidentally the whole thing==
{{quote|A Guardian journalist has, in a previously undetected act of gross [[retard|negligence]] or [[internet hate machine|malice]], and in violation a signed security agreement with the Guardian's editor-in-chief Alan Rusbridger, disclosed top secret decryption passwords to the entire, unredacted, WikiLeaks Cablegate archive. [[IM PRESSIN CHARGES|We have already spoken to the State Department and commenced pre-litigation action.]] We will issue a formal statement in due course. WIKILEAKS}}

David Leigh, a journalist with the Guardian newspaper '''{{archive|XMURJ|disclosed a password in his book}}'''. The password to the entire cache of unredacted documents. Why would he do this? Well, [https://www.theguardian.com/media/2011/sep/01/wikileaks-make-public-all-state-cables Leigh claims Assange told him that the password was only "temporary" and would expire in a short time.] [https://www.twitlonger.com/show/cq0suv Assange] says he's a [[truth|fucking liar and a phenomenal idiot]].

But no biggie, right? The cables file was only given to reporters like David Leigh, and [[noone]] else, right? Umm.... Nope. The file was [[LOL|mistakenly left on torrented mirrors of Wikileaks' website]]. Oh fuck.

The cat being fully out of the bag, Wikileaks decides to get ahead of [[the game]], and publishes all the unredacted cables that would have been leaked anyway, due to Leigh's stupidity. However,
[[some say|some argue]] that [[shit nobody cares about|nobody gives a shit]].

==War Blog==
'''{{wordpress|wikileakswar|Wiki Leaks War Blog}}'''

==July 23, 2016 - Wikileaks Inadvertently Names The Jew==
[[File:Julian discovers Echo.PNG|center]]

While politely minding his own business on teh internets, Julian noticed a [[Coincidence Detector|(((coincidence)))]] when he saw that many [[Jews|"tribalist establishment climbers"]] had a mysterious series of parentheses around their names. This of course was because, after hearing of the anti-Semitic meme, [[liberal|leftist]] virtue-signallers on [[Twitter]] had kindly adopted the symbol in order to allow sane people to more quickly tell they were [[retards]] [https://metro.co.uk/2016/06/05/people-are-putting-echoes-around-their-names-on-twitter-heres-why-5925002/ 1]. The [[Lulz]] continued when Julian [[Hillary Clinton|speedily deleted]] his tweet once he discovered he had [[rape|unwittingly]] redpilled himself.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Wikileaks1.jpg
File:Julian Assange 2012 vs 2016.png
File:Wikileaksx2.jpg
File:Wikileaks-reddit.jpg
File:Wikileaks logo.jpg
File:Russiawikileakshax0r.png
File:Wikileansobongo.png
</gallery></center>

== Related Articles ==
[[File:Wikileaks Nativity.jpg|thumb|[[USI]]?]]

*[[Gov.palin@yahoo.com]]
*[[Crowdleaks]]
*[[Wikichan]]
*[[Wikitruth]] - [[whistleblower]] wiki for [[luser]]'s secrets on [[Wikipedia]]
*[[Almost_raped|Almost raped]]
*[[Bandwagon]]
*[[The Tale of the traveling Afghan War Diaries]]
*[[Trolling IRL]]
*[[Porn Wikileaks]]
*[[Broadside]]

==Resources==
*<s>[http://www.mostdamagingwikileaks.com/ "100 Most Damaging Wikileaks"]</s> - a 2016 list of anti-Clinton dirt and scuttlebutt, assembled by someone who gets half of his claims wrong, but still a handy go-to index for research (dead) '''{{archive|h51v4|(Archived)}}'''
[[File:Wikileaks bill oddie deleted doorbells clickbait.jpg|right|thumb|300px|[[Saint Patrick's Door|Click here to find out!]]]]
*<s>[http://88.80.13.160// wikileaks.org]</s> (dead) '''{{archive|PPoQF|(Archived)}}'''
**[https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sarah-palin-hunt-wikileaks-founder-266136 CABLE GATE, MOTHAFUCKA!] [[Image:Trool.png|60px]]
***<s>[http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/series/us-embassy-cables-the-documents The Guardian joins the circlejerk.]</s> (dead) '''{{archive|aq8YP|(Archived)}}'''
***<s>moar [http://www.thetechherald.com/article.php/201049/6522/Cablegate-WikiLeaks-founder-Julian-Assange-arrested-Update-3 cablegate@techherald]</s> (dead) - assange taken into custody until dec.14 '''{{archive|8lOXr|(Archived)}}'''
*<s>'''{{blog|i-love-julian-assange.blogspot.com|Julian Assange's fan made blog (Warning: Extremely homosexual content)}}'''</s> Taken down by [[Blogspot|Jewspot]] '''{{archive|Tjx6|(Archived)}}'''
*<s>[https://secure.wikileaks.org/ - secured connection]</s> (dead) '''{{archive|jqxMb|(Archived)}}
*[https://psychedelicdungeon.wordpress.com/2010/09/10/wikifreaks-pt-3-mendax-the-liar/ Wikileaker gets leaked - A biography on Julian Assange]
*[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7250916.stm Whistle-blower site taken offline]
*{{twitter|wikileaks}}
*<s>[http://wikileaks.ch/mirrors.html list of wikileaks mirrors]</s> (dead) {{wayback|http://wikileaks.ch/mirrors.html|20101207060201|title=(Archived)}}
*[https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Foreign-Policy/2010/1207/US-to-federal-workers-If-you-read-WikiLeaks-you-re-breaking-the-law US Government says "If you read wikileaks you are breaking the law"]
*<s>[http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20101216/video/vuk-exclusive-cyber-warriors-speak-to-sk-37e89e1.html Apparently over 9000 cyber-insurgents have been mobilised!!]</s> (dead)
*<s>[http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20101216/tuk-exclusive-more-cyber-attacks-promise-45dbed5.html Breaking fucking news]</s> (dead) '''{{archive|7jdEJ|(Archived)}}'''
 
{{wikis}}
{{truth}}
 
{{Timeline|Featured article December 5, [[2010]]|[[Coughlan666]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TSA]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article August 17 & 18, [[2012]]|[[Hypocrisy]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Pussy Riot]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article June 26 & 27, [[2024]]|[[Sanctioned Suicide]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Mexico]]}}

[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:Sites]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Wikis Suck]]

HTML

2024-08-10T00:37:45Z

Stooge:

__NOTOC__
[[image:HTML for Babies.jpg|center]]

'''HTML''' stands for '''Hyper Text Markup Language'''. It is something [[you]] have no idea how to use. You can use simple HTML to create [[cock boat]]s.

HyperText Markup Language (HTML) makes web pages display properly on the World Wide Web. It is a markup language, which means it has a mix of a normal language that people can read, and a special markup syntax that tells computers what to do. HTML is sent and received through HTTP.

A web browser is the program that reads the special language in HTML. This language tells the web browser how the web page should look. The web page can include writing, links, pictures, and even sound and video. It can also have writing that is not shown in the web page, which tells people about the web page—for example, the name of the person who made it.

The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) develops HTML. The latest version is XHTML 1.1. It uses XML and can include other XML-languages.

TL;DR: HTML is serious fucking business.

The creator of HTML was [[Ajsiu]].

==Example==
<pre style="white-space:pre-wrap; overflow:auto;">
<html>

<head>
<title>Title of page</title>
</head>

<body>
Body of the page
</body>

</html>
</pre>

==Most Important HTML tag==
Stick this code onto a page that lets you do div tags,:
<pre style="white-space:pre-wrap; overflow:auto;">
<div id="Layer1" style="border-right: #000000 1px; border-top: #000000 1px; z-index: 1; left: 0px; border-left: #000000 1px; width: 1000px; border-bottom: #000000 1px; position: absolute; top: 0px; height: 10000px; background-color: #000000; layer-background-color: #000000; padding:.5em; text-align:center;">
!!>> EDIT THIS <<!!
</pre>

It will rape them.

==Second-most Important HTML tag==
You can drive people batty by posting this:
<pre style="white-space:pre-wrap; overflow:auto;">
<table>
<tr>
<td style="width:150px; text-align:center;">
oooo
<marquee width="100%" behavior="alternate" direction="left">3=========Ð</marquee>  O
</td>
<td style="width:40px">
<marquee width="100%" behavior="scroll" direction="right">~° ~° ~°</marquee>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
</pre>

==Third-most important html tag:==
<pre style="white-space:pre-wrap; overflow:auto;">
<div style="text-transform: uppercase;">
</pre>

<div style="text-transform: uppercase;">
[[ALL CAPS|Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.]]
</div>

OR

<pre style="white-space:pre-wrap; overflow:auto;">
<div style="text-transform: capitalize;">
</pre>

<div style="text-transform: capitalize;">
Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.
</div>

<pre style="white-space:pre-wrap; overflow:auto;">
<div style="font-variant: small-caps;">
</pre>

<div style="font-variant: small-caps;">
Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.
</div>

OR

<pre>
<div style="text-transform: lowercase;">
</pre>

<div style="text-transform: lowercase;">
Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.
</div>

OR

<pre style="white-space:pre-wrap; overflow:auto;">
<div style="direction:rtl; unicode-bidi:bidi-override;">
</pre>

<div style="direction:rtl; unicode-bidi:bidi-override;">
Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.
</div>

== HTML5 ==
In around 2007/8, [[Web 2.0]] users who couldn't be bothered to program in the first place started to develop it so that they could make webpages using [[Gay_Nigger_Association_of_America|wordpress]] all look like [[Buddhism|Zen Gardens]] and 'moar interactif!' and despite the fact that most of these 'developers' could have their needs satisfied with either [[Flash]] or [[Javascript]] - because HTML is used to design webpages, not animate them - it was a pointless idea.

Plus, most [[Sarah_Palin|people who use wordpress]] haven't a fucking clue as to how to design a real webpage anyway - let alone create their own language, as most of them can't spell English properly anyway.

HTML5 was pretty much ignored at this point.

Around 2010 when [[Steve_Jobs|Blow Jobs]] was looking at ways of preventing [[minimalism|apple users]] from using anything developed by somebody who hadn't slipped Job's dick onto their tongue, he concluded that preventing [[macfags|those who can't be bothered to shop around for reasonably priced machines]] could be done by preventing [[iPad]] users from seeing flash in Safari.

This also meant that most iPad users now couldn't watch YouTube videos - which was pretty much the whole point of the iPad in the first place. So Apple had no choice, but to allow Flash until [[Shit_that_will_never_happen|everybody on the internet switches to developing in HTML5]].

== Other HTML tags ==

[[File:Tits.jpg|thumb|The <code><tits></code> tag]]

* [[Big]]
* [[Blink]]
* [[Cock boat]]
* [[Font size=5]]
* [[Hashtag]]
* [[Horizontal scrollbar|Nobr]]
* [[Marquee]]
* [[Rainbow blinkies]]
* [[Small]]
* [[Thread|/Thread]]
* [[Slash]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.pageresource.com/html/index2.htm Basic HTML Tutorial]
*[http://www.w3fools.com/ W3 Schools Tutorial]
*[http://www.htmldog.com/ HTML and CSS Tutorials, References, and Articles]
*[https://codebeautify.org/htmlviewer HTML Viewer]
*[https://jsonformatter.org/html-formatter HTML Formatter]

{{programming}}
{{language}}

Java

2024-08-10T00:35:01Z

Stooge: I deem this article in need of a cleanup.

{{cleanup}}
{{FactCat|'''[[Lie|JavaScript is not Java.]] If you were looking for [[Javascript]], you might want to look [[Javascript|here]], [[you]] ignorant fuck.'''}}

<center><youtube>Mk3qkQROb_k</youtube></center>

Java is an [[Slowpoke|interpreted]] language which is [[Special|unique]] in that it includes a pretend compiler so that [[Skript kiddie|Java programmers]] can feel like they're using a [[C|grownup programming language]]. It is [[Objectivism|object oriented]] and has automatic [[garbage]] collection to make it as easy as possible to allocate memory.

Java is like [[Alzheimers]]: it starts slow and eventually takes away all of your memory. Something Java fans like to talk about is the [[Ebonics|JIT]] compiler which eventually does turn Java into [[Machine code|native code]] but only after it's been interpreted [[Over 9000|10,000]] times. By that time the program has probably already crashed with an out of memory error. Programming in Java drives most [[hacker]]s permanently [[insane]]. Evidence of this can easily be obtained by attempting to comprehend the content of [http://picocontainer.codehaus.org/ this website].

Java is notable (along with [[Flash]]) for being one of the few technologies that allows [[Alan Turing]] to [[pwn]] your [[browser]]. Also of note is that Java is one of the most bloated languages with a minimum of twelve lines needed to do something as complex as print "Hello" on the screen.

Java is like [[C]] for people who are too [[pussy]] to do real programming. Instead of creating actual fucking programs anyone can run on any computer, one must have a separate interpreter installed on their computer in order to run the bytecode, which is what Java calls code that's been "compiled". Unfortunately, since no one has installed this [[At least 100 years ago|since Flash came out]], no one will be able to use your user-programmable Pokedex (only 500MB!)

{{quote|Java is high performance. By high performance we mean adequate. By adequate we mean slow.|[http://www.mrbunny.com/ Mr. Bunny]}}

Java [[GUI]] applications are dogshit [[Slowpoke|slow]] to load and run, and [[Condom|never feel right]]. To deflect criticism and hide this [[shit]]tiness from decent, honest folk who are just trying to get some work done quickly, Java developers:
* use splash screens to mask the load time (they call this a "[[LHC|time warp]].")
* use ''external, non-Java'' splash screen software when even the previous item [[Fail|fails]] at fooling the user ([http://java.sun.com/developer/technicalArticles/J2SE/Desktop/javase6/splashscreen/ srsly])
* blame the Virtual Machine vendor
* blame the user for not fiddling with his Virtual Machine settings
* blame the user for not already having the JVM cached in memory. "What are you, a fucking [[LOL|retard]]?"
* use third-party toolkits
* fool you with bullshit millisecond measurements. "Who are you going to believe, me, or your lying eyes?"

Any version of Java released in the past 10 years requires the user to download a 110 megabyte file (compared to the 70 meg download for [[Shit Nobody Cares About|Microsoft's .NET Framework]]) which then tries to install the [[Internet Explorer|Ask Toolbar]]. Good job, Oracle. Java web applets run in a [[sandbox]] and unless your applet is [[Internet license|signed]], it [[H4x|can't even access your clipboard]] but nobody uses Java applets anyway.

Since Java is the all-ruling and most powerful language in the universe, one might think that was is easy to learn. He would be right. Even [[Teachers|half-assed morons]] can learn how to do it. Java isn't about creating something from scratch, its just an intricate [[Copypasta|copy and paste]] program.

== Developing a GUI in Java==
<center><youtube>gR1PujzQ53Q</youtube></center>
Java has two GUI packages, which are AWT and Swing.
Use Swing for...
*Making your app look like legitimate Java applications.
*Actually, you can change how it looks in code, but the programs end up looking like shit for those lazy Java programmers who don't want to. But since you're using Java, what do you expect?
*When you use Swing, the poor user will see the same components in all platforms, which is great.
*If you, the programmer, like putting a "J" in front of EVERY. FREAKING. THING. No, seriously. When you have a nice regular "Frame" in AWT, you have a stinking "JFrame" in Swing. Where the heck did the "J" come from? This is proof that James Gosling, the creator of Java, really likes "J"s.
*Swing was originally made as an extension package. Not legit at all. This means that back in the old days, people had to go off and download something extra to make Swing run. That's why it has an "x" on the package name ("javax.swing") instead of just the "java". 
Use AWT for...
*Making your app look like the OS default apps.
:*So when you run it on a Mac, you make it look like Steve Job's thing, and when you run it on a Windows, it looks stupid.
*When you want your program to look retarded if it gets used on an OS you didn't design it for. 
Since you, the hapless programmer, are using Java for OS independence, you, like all other Java developers, will use Swing components. After testing your software, you will see how slow Java works. Java itself might be stable, but the difficulty of programming makes the programmer ignore all exception handling (too time consuming), so the software will eventually be buggy in some way. Unless, of course, you spend [[over 9000]] years debugging your code. Which is exactly what James Gosling intended. Use C# instead!

== Why Use Java? ==
{{quote|Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.|A [[.Net]] programmer}}

Java is [[bullshit|platform independent]], like all its competitors [[Shit nobody cares about|C#, PHP, ASP.NET, ASP, C, C++, Python, etc...]]
The only logical use of Java is building browser games which use Java applets today and to get on [[Oracle Corporation|Larry]]'s good side since they fucked MySQL. Period.

== Hello World! I'm a program that is useless! ==
This is the layout of a basic "Hello World" in Java:
<pre style="margin-right:220px;">
public class HelloWorld
{
public static void main(String[] args)
{
System.out.println("Hello World! I'm a useless program!");
}
}
</pre>

Lets look at this a little deeper(eww). The first line is the class heading. This program is "public", which means it is avaliable to other programs for their use. This heading creates a "class" called helloWorld. "helloWorld" is an identifier, which means the programmer names it, so it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it doesn't contain numbers or spaces.

The bracket on line 2 contains the class.

The next line contains the method, called "main". Again, public means the same as above, but for the method, instead of the class. void means that it doesn't return a value, and main is the name of the method. (Just take my word for it, you have to write it this way until you become more advanced in Java).

The next line calls the "System.out.println" method, which prints the text in the double quotes to the console. You have a ";" at the of a statement to tell the compiler to stop for that statement.

Then you end with two brackets.

Of course, any java weenie will tell you that this is totally wrong. Static methods are bad. As are using the "no-name" package. Also, putting opening braces on a new line is completely retarded, as any non-retarded person knows. What you really need is something like:

<pre style="margin-right:220px;">
package com.mydomain.sampleprograms;

public class HelloWorld {
public static void main(String[] args) {
new HelloWorld().helloWorld();
}

protected void helloWorld() {
System.out.println("Hello World! I'm a useless program!");
}
}
</pre>

Instead of using static methods they might even go further and create so called singleton classes which do the EXACT samething but instead they don't have the static declaration.

If you use static methods the java weenie will "blame" you of having a C programer's mind. (As if it is something to be ashamed of)

The only case they let you to use static methods is the mathematical functions such as sin,cos,sqrt. The reason they let you do is, that they forgot to make the Math class singleton during the development of java. It is rumored that Math class would be a singleton either but some of the java developers said: "OK guys.. Object Oriented.. nice.. but.. what the f*ck are we doing here?? aren't we going too stupid?" Than they used static methods. Later those developers quited java and Math class became one of the few classes that used static methods.

An example of a stupid "singleton" helloworld:

<pre style="margin-right:220px;">
package com.mydomain.sampleprograms;

public class HelloWorld {

private static HelloWorld hw;

public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println(HelloWorld.getInstance());
}

public static HelloWorld getInstance(){
if(hw == null){
hw = new HelloWorld();
}
return hw;
}

private HelloWorld() {
//constructor became entirely useless
//but whatever static methods are "bad"
}

public String toString(){
return "Hello World! I'm a useless program!";
}
}
</pre>

== The Reflection API ==
<center><youtube>b-Cr0EWwaTk</youtube></center>
NOTE: This section is under construction. Come back later for more lulz.

The Reflection API is one of the few elements of Java that was not jacked from another language and passed off as an original feature. It is Java's method of introspection, which means that while your program is running, it can check all sorts of [[shit|fun stuff]] about your program. In short, it is the programming equivalent of licking your own balls. Using the Reflection API, you can do all sorts of fun stuff like getting the code for the statement you're running! What fun! This virus conveniently takes the form of a method found in every object in Java (<code>getClass()</code>), so you can stare at your own ugly code any time you want.

TL;DR: Don't use introspection. You'll crash physics.

== Trolling Java [[Fanboy|Fanboys]] ==
Much like [[Apple]], Java has a user base who would die defending it. These people like to say "it's [[Bullshit|just as fast as C]]" and "it's not slow it only [[Truth|starts slow]]". These people are ridiculously easy to troll because almost anything you can say about their sorry excuse for a programming language will make them [[butthurt]].
Here are a few ways to get [[lulz]] from Java "programmers":

* Say '''interpreter'''. They hate this word, they like ''virtual machine'' since it sounds cool and futuristic while ''interpreter'' is just a program that evaluates script.
* Ask why in such a fast language, nobody ever wrote a video player or [[Minecraft|a game]].
* Point out that everyone else uses [[php]] for web apps.
* Point out that everyone else uses [[C]] for desktop apps.
* Ask where to find affordable Java hosting.
* Mention that Eclipse IDE is now using GCJ to convert their Java into [[machine code]] so it will run faster.
* Join a Java IRC [[chan]] and ask for help with GCJ, tell people it's faster.
* Write a [http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/news/2010/08/oracle-sues-google-over-use-of-java-in-android-sdk.ars java interpreter that is not slow]. OMG if it's not a resource hog <s>Sun</s> Oracle won't be able to sell the new ''SparkXXXIV Genitalia'' 800 core processor.
* Create another programming language and give it the same name.

{{quote|We did [[JavaScript]] to try to be an intermediate bridge between [[HTML]] and Java. I got in huge fights with [[Sun]] over this. They got mad. Then I told them we wanted to [[Win|name it JavaScript]], and that made them even [[You Mad|madder]].|Marc Andreessen on [[doing it right]] ([http://www.zdnet.com.au/andreessen-php-succeeding-where-java-isn-t-139218171.htm sauce])}}

== Restarting the VM ==
If you use Java shared hosting and you can't be bothered to open a ticket just to get the server restarted (who has time for that anyway?) You can restart the virtual machine any time you want using this slick little piece of java code:

<pre>
Object[] o = null; for(;;) { o = new Object[] {o}; }
</pre>

The [[Admin|admins]] will admire your [[Dumb|cleverness]] and [[ban|appreciate]] you for not opening tickets every time you need a restart. Disclamer: [[Skript kiddie|I didn't discover this]]

== Lack of Unsigned Numbers ==
There is no such thing as unsigned numeric values in Java because Sun thought they would be too difficult for programmers to grasp. This is the intelligence level that Java is built around.

== Commenting ==
Fuck commenting.

What the above statement means is that since it was featured on the web buttplug [[xkcd]] (http://xkcd.com/156/), '''commenting is retarded'''.

== Type Bullshit ==
Java implements strict typing yet hypocritically has loose type casting (like your mom's horse dick), so adding two '''bytes''' with a value of 1 will result in an '''int''', not a '''short''', which is the next storage type above byte. If you want to store an unsigned byte, you better use an int and do some magic <strike>operator overloading</strike> add/sub/mul/div function gymnastics for the math to work.

== Boolean literals - true and false ==

The two values are written with the reserved words true and false.
coded as:

boolean butthurt;

butthurt = true;

or all at once:

boolean butthurt = true;

== Loops ==

if loop- if (condition) = true, do code.

int i = 0;

if (i<5){
System.out.println(i);
}

This code checks to see if variable i is less than 5, if it is print out i's value.
This code will print: 0

for loop- for (A;B;C){
statements;
}
A-initialization
B-termination
C-increment
Example:

for (int i=0;i<5;i++){
System.out.println(i);
}

This code sets variable i to start at 0, check if its less then 5, if it is run statements and increment i by one.
This will print:
0
1
2
3
4
while loop- while (condition) do statements

This one is pretty straight forward, if the condition is true, do the statements.
Example:

int i=0;

while(i<5){
System.out.println(i++);
}

This will print:
0
1
2
3
4
do while loop- do statements while (condition)

Very similar to the while loop, but the do while loop always executes once since it evaluates the condition after the statement. A while will never run if the condition is false.

do {
Statements;
}
while(condition);

Do the statement until the condition equals true.

Example:

int i=0;
do {
System.out.println(i);
} while (i>5);

Note that the condition is false and will never be true from this code. So the statement will only run once.
This will print: 0

== Comparison operators ==
[[Image:Pouring_coffee.jpg|thumb|If you write in Java, you'll have time to make a pot of this while your code is compiling.]]

Comparison operators are used to compare two primitive values (rarely objects).
The comparison operators are:

< less than

<= less than or equal to

== equal to

> greater than

>= greater than or equal to

!= not equal to

6 < 24 is true

6 <= 24 is true.

OP == fag is true

6 == 24 is false.

10 >= 10 is true.

10 > 10 is false.

6 != 24 is true.

== Logical operators ==

Logical operators are like an extension of comparison operators.
The logical operators are:

&& and

|| or

Example:
a && b and The result is true only if both a and b are true.

a || b or The result is true if either a or b is true.

You can also use the not operator.
!a not true if a is false and false if a is true.

<pre>
int i=0;

int j=4;

if (i>3||j<=4){

System.out.println("hfsdkjhs");

}
</pre>
This will print the statement because the or operator only requires one of the conditions to be true.

<pre>
if (i>3&&j<=4){

System.out.println("hfsdkjhs");

}
</pre>
This wont print since the and operator requires all the conditions to be true.

<pre>
if (!(i>3)&&j<=4){

System.out.println("hfsdkjhs");

}
</pre>
This will print the statement since !(i>3) is actually true, so both conditions are now true.

==Memory allocation and garbage collection==

What? You are too lazy to tediously free() all your mallocs()?

==State of Java==

As the use of this useless language is dying, many people often use it to make shitty ass websites. Example:
[http://www.hooverhoops.com]

==Things Programmed Using Java==
*[[Minecraft|Terraria]]
*[[Pr0n]]
*[[Niggers]]
*[[Steve Jobs]]
*[[16 Year Old Girls]]. What a demonstration of how retarded Java is.
*[[Minecraft]]

== See Also ==
* [[Python]] a superior object-oriented language
* [[CamelCase]] TheAnnoyingWayJavaProgrammersUseAbsurdlyLongFunctionNamesWithoutUsingTheUnderscoreCharacter

==External links==
*[http://www.bejug.org/confluenceBeJUG/download/attachments/3920/JavaCondom.jpg What Java is really about]
*[http://www.oracle.com/technetwork/java/javase/index.html Sun Java SE – Sun's current stable release]
*[http://www.sun.com/service/developer/index.jsp Developer Support Services from Sun Microsystems]
*[http://www.javarmi.com Java Learning And Tutorial]

{{programming}}
{{softwarez}}
[[Category: Softwarez]]
[[Category: Internets Phenomena]]

Braeburned

2024-08-09T06:25:17Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article in need of a cleanup.

{{crap}}
{{needsmore|DRAMA!!!!}}

Braeburned (born December 22, 1993, age 21, lives in [[South Dakota]], [[USA]], is a [[gay]] [[brony]] with a face like a sockpuppet that was sat on by a [[Fat|ham planet]] who draws assloads of gay horse porn to cope with the idea that he'll never even be able to fill any of his openings with a plug of the pure [[horsecock]] he oh so desires. Like any Brony artist, his cage is being [[Rape|rattled hard]] by the cold vice-like embrace of [[autism]] and he will die a [[virgin]] to fulfill his destiny of joining the harem of a proud [[Muslim|jihadist]].
[[File:Braeburnedfanboy.jpg|right|thumb|200px|This fanboy of Braeburned on the left [[clop]]s to his gay stallion porn every night.]]
== Is he really [[mariotehplumber]]? ==

[[File:Braeburnedismariotehplumber.jpg|left|200px|]]
Could he really be his twin brother? Was he in part of the amiibo scalping with him? Did he loan $40,000 from the money he made for drawing all of those horse cocks to his brother to buy all of these amiibos? Was he masturbating to one of the male characters (mostly the [[Pokemon]] amiibos) while no one was looking? It's unknown since Braeburned wouldn't even do similar shit like Mariotehplumber does such as destroying [[Crash Bandicoot]] and that he's a pony [[yaoi]] (he actually does draw pony [[hentai]] despite he's a homo) fag and somewhat a [[deviantART]] freak.

== His Evil arch enemy, MonkeyGameGuides! (Maybe?) ==
[[File:MonkeyGameGuides.png|thumb|200px|left]]
[[File:SaddleUpCover.png|right|thumb|200px|Trust me. This was actually from a fake [[MonkeyGameGuides]] Tumblr account.]]
It was rumored that [[MonkeyGameGuides]] had a Tumblr (possiblyfake since he never mentions bronies when talking about killing every single furfag) that was sadly deactivated. Don't believe it? Noble trolls managed to obtain that edited pic he did of that Saddle Up cover that you saw. Still skeptical? Here are some of the remaining pieces from the account. Be warned, gentle reader, this will scar you! Sorta like looking at [[Drawn Sex]] porn and then being blind for a week after what you saw.

[http://irongearsnsfwart.tumblr.com/post/94472718474/mrfatcakes-monkeygameguides-fuck-you][http://silentobserver01.tumblr.com/post/94469444726/monkeygameguides-fuck-you-rockarboom2013-my#notes][http://silentobserver01.tumblr.com/post/94468070511/is-this-faggot-for-real-is-he-really-this#notes][http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/1419421#search=Fearingfun]

== External Links ==

* {{tumblr|braeburned}} Really, really shitty.
* {{tumblr|askbraeburned}} One could make him angry with some anon questions!
* {{twitter|braeburned}}
* {{tumblr|tobias-kelmandia}} Braeburned's number one fan(dead).
* {{tumblr|cloperella.tumblr}} And his second fan.

== See Also ==
* [[TheMysteriousMrEnter]], his alleged boyfriend.
* [[Brony]]
* [[Dying Alone]]
* [[Faggots]]

{{MLP}}
{{Faggotry}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Stub]]

BlazBlue

2024-08-09T06:24:02Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article in need of a cleanup.

__NOTOC__
{{Spoiler|HAKUMEN IS JIN AND NU IS NOEL!!! HAZAMA IS A BIG BAD GUY!}}

[[Image:Blazblue logo psd jpgcopy-685x395.jpg|thumb|right|The title for this [[Shit nobody cares about|anime fighting game.]]]]
[[Image:HardcoreCast.jpg|thumb|right|[[Cool story bro|It is a serious story about the collapsing of time itself and the manipulations of more devious men.]]]]

'''BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger''' is a two-dimensional arcade fightin' game by Arc System Works, the [[Basement dwellers|staff]] behind the [[Metal (music)|Guilty Gear series]]. While the ultimate goal is to manipulate the face buttons on your $200 plastic doodad clickety-clack Hori Faggotmasher TE until your opponent [[Protip|achieves KO status]], tournament players have discovered that it is better suited as a racing game.

A rehash of the game known as Continuum Shift is set to fuck your shit up when it hits consoles, completely shifting the tiers around and basically forcing everyone to learn a button that isn't D.

==Plot==
[[lol|It is a serious story about the collapsing of time itself and the manipulations of more devious men.]]

See [[shit|anime]], or for a better summary, make something up involving time travel, overlapping worlds, and anything you feel would belong in a Marvel comic except, you know, anime. Additional plot keywords include [[furry]], [[mecha]], [[incest]] and [[Russia|real soviet damage]].

Spoilers are promptly posted on the Fagloop forums days after the release of each entry to the series.

* TERUMI ISN'T THE BIG BAD GUY HOLY SHIT
* SAYA WAS ALIVE ALL ALONG AND IS PULLING THE STRINGS AND IS REALLY RUNNING THE NOL HOLY SHIT
* NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT CARL, BANG OR TAO
* LITCHI AND TSUBAKI ARE EVIL
* [[slut|TSUBAKI]] AND [[pimp|HAKUMEN]] SLEPT TOGETHER
* TERUMI KICKS RACHEL IN THE FACE FOR THE [[LULZ]]
* JIN IS A GOOD GUY AND WORKING WITH JUBEI
* KOKONOE HAS NUKES
* NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT NOEL

==Fanbase==
[[Image: Getusedtoit.jpg|thumb|right|A phrase that makes [[Tourneyfag|Tourneyfags]] and regular player alike cringe.]]

Like many fightin’ games, BlazBlue has a wide variety of players who enjoy it, or very specifically, 2 types of people:
*Faggot [[weeaboo|weeb]] nerds who set their language settings to [[Japan|grolious nihongo]] and fap to their waifus.
*Wannabe [[Tourneyfag|tourneyfags]] who claim half the roster is broken, when in truth, half the roster sucks compared to Nu and Arakune.

The long-rumored third type, the legitimate "Good player", has in fact been extinct since the release of [[Marvel vs Capcom 2|MvC2]] on PSN and [[Xbox Live|Live]]. Let it be noted that neither type actually enjoys playing the game, and spend most of their time talking about the game as opposed to actually playing it.

David Sirlin hates it because throwing is [[worthless]] at Wong-tier gameplay, but that doesn't mean much since David is a faggot and you'll never be as [[Azn|good]] as Justin Wong.

==Versions==

Due to the Japanese publishers being [[faggot|idiots]], there are numerous entries in this series (each costing shit-tons of money).

- Calamity Trigger: The first shitty one. The art is really [[anime|bad]].

- Continuum Shit: Available in three flavors, which are mostly indistinguishable from one another except to the fanboys

'''Continuum Shift'''
The Original Release, started out with only 15 playable characters, but would give you three more if you paid extra money

'''Continuum Shift II'''
the same game, only for 3DS and PSP instead of 360 and PS3, had a different intro movie, gave you the extra characters for free, included a couple of extra stories, had shitty graphics, and added an extra mode nobody cares about

'''BlazBlue C-SEX'''
adds stories for the DLC characters, ANOTHER playable character, YET ANOTHER new intro movie, ANOTHER new mode, balance changes, a remake of Calamity Trigger, and will also do your laundry for you.

- Chrono Phatasma: The "Last" entry in the trilogy. Also has an [[penis|extend]] version.

- Central Fiction: No seriously, the last one guys. We promise.

==Characters==

'''Ragna The Bloodedge'''
[[Image:ragna.jpg|thumb|120px|girls want this]]
The primary source of GAR and girl fap in the game, this manly, mysterious protagonist is on some important quest to do something no one really knows anything about. In order to play this character successfully one must constantly spam the D button until their opponent dies; unless of course one is playing against Jin, in which case they are boned. He manages to beat the living shit out of Terumi, but decides not to kill him, opting instead to head on down to the Cauldron to give Mu-12's fine ass a squeeze. He fails, and instead breaks her face and his arm. Every girl in the games wants to [[fuck|befriend]] Ragna, but only one will win the "Ragna-Bowl".

'''Jin Kisaragi'''
[[Image:Jin Kisuragi.jpg|thumb|120px|very not gay]]
'''OMG SPOILERS: HE IS RAGNA'S BROTHER'''
(Moar liek Jizz Kissurassi amirite?) The secondary source of fangirl insanity and a total fag btw, this high up NOL officer is totally [[{{{link|insane}}}|{{{alt|cool}}}]] [[{{{link|sarcasm}}}|{{{alt|and is not a jerk to everybody.}}}]] He is also arguably the best character in the game to play because all of the protip-giving [[{{{link|fags}}}|{{{alt|MLGs}}}]] play as him in tournaments. He rides the [[{{{link|penis}}}|{{{alt|ICENING!!!1!.}}}]] He wants to fuck his brother anally. He explodes with rage just by hearing Noel breathe, as she reminds him of his sister, who was the root of his pussy allergy. He is secretly Hakumen from the past...or future...maybe both.

'''Noel Vermillion'''
[[Image:noel vermillion.jpg|120px|thumb|jailbait]]
The thankfully female version of Bridget from Guilty Gear, she loves whining about getting raped by superior-tier characters and being the [[{{{link|slut}}}|{{{alt|"handiest"}}}]] girl around. To play this character a person must be skilled enough to press the D button and then mash the living cum out of A, B and C in order to string attacks properly. Other than that, no one really cares about her except [[{{{link|pedophiles}}}|{{{alt|her good friends.}}}]] Constantly tries to get Ragna to fuck her, even though Ragna doesn't give a shit about her. She is a clone of Saya. She is known for falling into orgasmic ecstasy whenever Litchi lets her touch her panda thing. Hazama trolls her into becoming his god-killing wife in CS, but she gets the shit beat out of her by Hakumen, Jin and Ragna. She is redesigned in every other game.

'''Rachel [[What is a man?|Alucard]]'''
[[Image:rachel alucard.jpg|thumb|120px|Rachel and her "servants"]]
The vampire loli twilight-loving fap magnet that every Japanese game requires. She and her sex slave animal friends run about the land yiffing and [[{{{link|yiffing}}}|{{{alt|drinking tea}}}]] while attempting to be an important character in the main [[{{{link|crap}}}|{{{alt|plotline}}}]]. To win with this character simply pull down your pants and enjoy watching her get raped by her opponent. After you lose tell the person over xbox live that you just came during the fight, and listen to the lulz, use a female voice for maximum win. She gets weaker in every game that comes out.

'''Iron Tager'''
No one really cares about this guy except that he needed to have his body repaired by Kokonoe after some [[{{{link|muslims}}}|{{{alt|NOL soldiers}}}]] bombed Ikaruga. He also appears to understand THE POWER OF MAGNETISM. The most popular character online since he can rape almost everyone with his GIGANTIC TAGER. Except Hazama. Use Tager to cause all other players to rage quit.

'''Arakune'''
[[Image:Arakune.jpg|thumb|120px|TEIM FOAR RAEP]]
A completely insane [[{{{link|pussy}}}|{{{alt|badass killing machine}}}]] was once a horny scientist but is now an incorpeal mass of quasi-dimensional ether mass, which basically means he is pretty screwed. He is also the ''luckiest man alive'' having the super-fox girlfriend Litchi allow him to do [[{{{link|anal}}}|{{{alt|whatever he wants}}}]] to her. Arakune (and nearly every other character in this stupid game) has massive mental instability problems, and cannot correctly finish a sentence if his life depended on it. To play this character well one must master a complex series of counters, combos and specials in order to even hit the enemy once. This being said it is clear he sucks.

'''Bang Shishigami'''
The ninja master of Ronin-Gai, this Naruto wannabe tries his best to seduce Litchi, but she is already Arakune's hoe and he does not share his pussy. This forces Bang to constantly log on to 4chan and fap to sasukexnaruto yaoi. To be good with this character one must select another character, don't worry, Bang knows he is terrible and does not really care. However, his install move allows him to go super saiyan and rape the shit out of any other character while the fag who sings the Dragon Ball Z openning sings in moonspeak. [[{{{link|Fail}}}|{{{alt|The downside is you can't block until the round is over}}}]].
His Astral Finish consists in piercing the enemy with his gigantic nail, and stand naked, looking at the screen while giving nary a fuck when he is done. Surprisingly he is the only male character who is NOT gay.

'''Litchi Faye Ling'''
A generic walking pair of tits that also teaches Taokaka to not do the [[{{{link|fanservice}}}|{{{alt|molesting}}}]] that causes so many fanboys to forcefap. She is from a far away [[{{{link|china}}}|{{{alt|country}}}]] who came all the way to city 13 (Half Life 2 lol) to find her pimp Arakune. In order to win with this character one needs to follow this pattern: A Jump A Jump A Jump in repetition. If the other player [[{{{link|male}}}|{{{alt|does not get distracted by her rack}}}]] then they [[{{{link|female}}}|{{{alt|will feel completely inadequate with their own, inferior chest}}}]].

Apparently the great and respected [[matsu-sensei|Matsu-Sensei]] from Deviantart seem to have an interest to this character due to the awesome-sized titties she possess. (Bullet's are bigger)

'''Taokaka''' [[Image:taokaka.jpg|thumb|120px|*Yiff Yiff!*]]
The furfag character that everyone from deviant art would like to play as. Known for carrying random objects around to use as weapons (bowling balls, hammers, Kaka kittens, etc), this mentally slow [[{{{link|furry}}}|{{{alt|half cat half human}}}]] enjoys playing with Litchi's luscious melons, tuna and butchering the English language. For those wanting to communicate with her, they would have to take into account her terrible use of words. This is made much easier though if one speaks in lolcats.

Normal: I'm cumming on this photo of Ragna

Taokaka: Myi'm cumming un dis photo uf Rawrgna

As one can see there are very distinct differences in speech. To play Taokaka effectively one must spam D in the direction of the enemy. Her English voice actor changes every game.

'''Carl Clover'''
The shoti model boy and his sex robot Nirvana from ze good old land of ze clocks which is ruled by the great old [[josef Fritzl|King of /B/tards]] , [[austria|Australia]], travel around playing [[{{{link|prostitute}}}|{{{alt|vigilante}}}]] looking around for people to [[{{{link|fuck}}}|{{{alt|fight}}}]]. Don't play this [[fail]] [[shota]] Character, he sucks. His father was confirmed as a playable character in the EXTEND version of Continuum Shift, so nobody will use Carl anymore and move to play as the obviously superior Relius. Considered the worst, most useless playable character.

'''Hakumen''' [[Image:haku.jpg|120px|thumb|this is really cool in Japan]]
He is the white void. He is the cold steel. He is the just sword. With blade in hand he will reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction. He is Hakumen, the super cool jerkface of the game that will not invite you to his birthday party. Anybody can rape with this character as long as they spam the B button in and attempt to be completely [[{{{link|gay}}}|{{{alt|fair}}}]]. Other than being an ancient hero who has been alive for thousands of years, no one really cares about him. He is the future version of Jin Kisaragi, or something. He's good at not being a faggot like the rest of the cast.

'''Nu-13''' [[Image:Nu-datass.png|140px|thumb|must tap them pixel asses]]
The two faced whore of the game. She has little other plot significance other than to meet Ragna for the final fight and beat him off so the universe can restart or something. Like any other fighter in the game one simply needs to rape the A button with their [[{{{link|penis}}}|{{{alt|thumb}}}]] in order to win. You also get extra lulz for being a cheap faggot.
The final boss of the game. Very nice [[Dat Ass|ass]] BTW. She is a clone of Noel (who is a clone of Saya), in case you could not tell.

'''Tsubaki Yayoi'''
She is a [[{{{link|lesbian}}}|{{{alt|very good friend}}}]] of Noel and gets the hots for Jin, and is Hazama's assistant or something, nobody gives a shit about her, just like with Noel. As a result of inbreeding herself, she enjoys incest and will screw any family member if told to. Hazama mind raped her to kill Noel and Jin, but she turned out to be useless. Also her weapon has the little setback of making the wielder go blind overtime, so she does the most logical thing and abuses the weapon as much as she can. Decides to become evil at the end of the second game because she thinks she's Batman and because Jin refuses to take her cherry.

'''Hazama/Yuki Terumi'''
The Real Real Bad Guy of the series, who was one of the six heroes but then quit and decided to become the biggest troll in the whole planet, and succeeded. Among the things he has accomplished, he has:

-Created the Time Loop.

-Mind raped a little boy and cut off his big brother's arm, then [[Black Metal|burned the church]] where they lived in. That's pretty huh...wow if you ask me.

-Killed Nine and her sister Celica (both considered the most powerful witches in history) just so he could make "Nine" lives jokes at Jubei's expense.

-Actually pisses off the vampires.

-He was cast into the Boundary by Jubei and Hakumen, and returned thanks to Relius making him an artificial body a la Full Metal Alchemist.

-Reminds everybody how much he screwed their lives every single cut-scene, even if he didn't meet them before, because everything bad anything happens to anyone in this game is ultimately his fault. His ability to utterly verbally annihilate everyone in the cast make him the best character of the game.

-Dismembers Ada and then kills Carl in Carl's CS bad ending.

-Took down the supercomputer with 3 brains that monitors every millionth of a second in the world and created the Calamity Trigger effect, thus making time stop looping and making death permanent.

-Failed experiment almost destroyed the world.

-Successful experiment aims to destroy the world anyway.

-His plan depended on the individual actions of over 15 different people. His plan works with a 99% of accuracy.

-Since he is a living paradox, he needs people to acknowledge him in order to exist, so to achieve that, he trolls averyone and everything he can find. He also made life links with characters that Ragna cares about, so in the case that he (somehow) were to kill him, that person would die as well.

-It doesn't matter if you perfected him and sealed the deal with an Astral Finish, after the fight your character will be tired as shit, and he will just brush it off and say it was "nice for a warm up".

-Perhaps his most outstanding character trait is his humongous mental penis. Nobody is safe from him raping their minds until breaking them, the only person who somehow managed to resist was Makoto, until Relius came in and turned it into a mental threeway.

-When in unlimitted form, he gains an Aura that covers two thirds of the screen that will drain your life and fill his heat gauge. He will counter ANYTHING you throw at him with a free Infernal Rapture.

-The only time when something went wrong for him was when Relius put catnip in his bath lotion and got raped by almost every cat in Kagutsuchi. This was a Gag Reel, so it didn't actually happen.

-Loves to make extremely weird faces just to make the player freak the fuck out.

He also looks like Gin Ichimaru from Bleach and Dr. Jackal from Get Backers's love child with green hair. Remind that to any fan of Bleach and Get Backers any chance you get.

'''Moo-12'''[[Image:Lol sprite.png|thumb|120px|The creators sure know how to sprite...]]
Noel's robo personality. She is a psycho bitch who wants to kill everything for no adequate reason. She entered this form when Hazama made her cry after making fun of her tits. She shoots lasers, but her real super power is dressing in nothing but a cape and a crotch plate. Her instant-kill consists of her grabbing a gold dildo and hitting her opponent with it.

'''Makoto Nanaya'''
The first of the DLC characters. She is a [[{{{link|furry}}}]] squirrel girl who is also a [[{{{link|lesbian}}}|{{{alt|very good friend}}}]] of Noel and Tsubaki. She is the main source of underboob and loves shota. To play as her, one must mash C constantly or know how to use [[{{{link|Street Fighter}}}|{{{alt|Dudley}}}]].

'''Valkenhayn R. Hellsing'''
The second DLC character. He is Rachel's butler, who is a werewolf for no reason in particular other than keeping the tradition of werewolves being the vampires' [[{{{link|Slave}}}|{{{alt|loyal servants}}}]]. He goes batshit insane when someone makes fun of Rachel. He turns into a Darkstalkers character.

'''Platinum the Trinity'''
The third DLC character. She is a super loli, and Rachel's fap-magnet replacement. She can transform into an all powerful loli hero, a bitchy 7 year old, or a gay [[{{{link|13 year-old boy}}}]]. She crushes you with a cat's head and traps you in bubbles. Don't try to reenact any Inuboshi doujins with her, because she will beat the shit out of you.

'''Jubei'''
A cat [[{{{link|furry}}}]] who is the most powerful being alive. He chose to do nothing while the world was ending and would rather catch some pussy. He likes to troll Taokaka by killing her opponent before she can. His daughter Kokonoe (the result of bestiality) hates him for no apparent reason. He sent off his younger brother to get killed by Hazama and Relius so he could have dibs on Nine's hot ass.

'''Nine/Phantom/Kokone A.Mercury/that slut who uses magic'''
Nine is a hot ass witch who died before she could do anything important. [[{{{link|bestiality}}}|{{{alt|She had sex with Jubei}}}]] and then gave birth to a bitchy [[{{{link|furry}}}]]. Hazama killed her for the [[{{{link|lulz}}}]] and brought her back to life for the [[{{{link|lulz}}}]]. She never got a speaking part. She created the Nox Nyctores by doing the exact same thing Terumi did to create the black beast, she smelted a bunch of human souls and then put them inside a conveniently odd-looking weapon.

'''Kokonoe'''
A bitchy [[{{{link|furry}}}]] who can't go one scene without a curse word. She is the [[bastard]] child of Nine and Jubei, even though she doesn't give a shit about them. She kidnapped Hakumen, [[{{{link|fail}}}|{{{alt|who just ran away again anyway}}}]]. She saved Tager, and abuses him, mentally and sexually. She mindraped Nu's twin Lambda and made her a sex slave as well. She likes [[{{{link|penis}}}|{{{alt|lollipops}}}]]. Taokaka points out she is just as flat as Noel, mammary-wise.

'''Lambda-11'''
Nu's mentally stable replacement. When Nu died, she decided to live in her sister's brain. She is also less cheap. Due to that, she died again, and then Nu decided to get her cheap body back with hax. No one seemed to care about Lambda, and payed more attention to Nu.

'''Linhua'''
She is the actual main character of the story and has more power than anyone else, the creators just don't want you to know. They barely show her or even reveal any aspect of her story, but that is just a trick to hide her power! Her only revealed power is to punch Tager, and make her fists bleed, thus proving how powerful she is!

'''Saya/Imperator Librarius'''
She is the head of the NOL, Ragna and Jin's sister, and Noel's original version. The only power that is shown of her's is the power to make plot-twists with her presence. Her hair is purple and eyes are red for no reason. She is the only person who can boss Hazama and Relius around.

'''Relius Clover'''
Carl and Ada(now Nirvana)'s father. He turned his daughter into a puppet and then gave it to Carl for no apparent reason. Then he took his wife, Ignis, and turned her into a puppet as well with the help of Kokonoe. He also created an antificial body for Terumi to live in, and killed Jubei's younger brother. His Astral Heat lets him restrain the opponent, torture them and then rape them behind closed gates.

'''Celica A. Mercury'''
Celica A. Mercury is the younger sister of Nine, and aunt of Kokonoe. She is the one who finds Bloodedge(an amnesic Ragna without the Grimoire) and is the one who built the church where Ragna, Jin and Saya lived in. Terumi killed her and burned the church right after cutting Ragna's arm off.

'''Bullet'''
[[Image:Bullet.jpg|thumb|120px|cumming with the force of one-thousands angry embers]]
BlazBlue's newest wet dream incarnate, set to debut in Chrono Phantasma. She apparently fights with pyro-kinetic gauntlets or some shit. Notable for her [[nigga|delicious caramel skin]], colossal tits, and the denim thong she walks around in. Not since Makoto has a BlazBlue character fulfilled so many fetishes.

'''Azrael'''
The second new character introduced in [[CP]]. He's a beefcake dude that lives to find new people to [[rape]].

'''Amane Nishiki'''
The third new character in CP. Most notable for taking Carl's place as the biggest faggot in the series (because, while Carl was pretty shitty, Amane is a literal 100% authentic homosexual).

==Gallery==
{{cg|Images, and an expandable Jin section|blazblue|center|<gallery>
Image: BlazBlue bonusLG.jpg|[[Fapping|The reason why half of the players pre-ordered the game]].
Image: ManlyBrothersaremanly.jpg|Yeah cause [[fangirls|this is what brothers do]].
Image: Bang-shishigami.jpg|An [[anime]] character wielding a massive phallic symbol that isn't a sword. Now I've seen [[Baby Fuck|everything]].
Image: JinEvilStare2.jpg|Jin recreating the face your uncle had on "[[rape|that day]]".
Image: Arakunedesign.jpg|[[Bullshit|The developers spent a lot of effort creating each character]].
Image: Carl.jpg|The original design for Carl Clover. Edited because a little boy appeals more to the [[pedo|Japs]] that buy this shitty game.
Image: Blazbluemovie.jpg|The upcoming [[movie]].
Image: Carl34.jpg|Here is an artistic rendition of Carl's [[incest|complex]] relationship with his puppet [[whore|sister]].
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image: TheBBbegining.jpg|[[Truth|What happens when 90% of players start the game]].
Image: JinWininStrat.png|[[lie|A mighty strategy that takes all possible actions the opponent might take into account]].
Image: AdviceJin.png|Exploitable template that you too can utilize to make [[fail|awesome]] Ice Car jokes.
Image: Winnin'StratJin.0.jpg|Another [[unfunny|hilarious]] flowchart.
Image: Jinicecarz2.jpg|Jin's cool ride.
Image: Jinfightstick.jpg|A simplified one-button arcade stick for Jin. Take a wild fucking guess what the button is for.
Image: JINicecarcopy.jpg|A starting guide that all Jin players should examine thoroughly.
Image:IceCarugotthere.jpg|Save the planet, drive blue.

</gallery>}}

{{Gaming}}
{{anime}}

Bart-Toons

2024-08-09T06:22:23Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article in need of a cleanup.

[[File:SpongeBob must worship TLH.jpg|480px]]
<div style="position:fixed;bottom:0;left:0;z-index:90">[[File:Pedobear_a.gif]]</div>
{{Lolcow}}
{{aspie}}
[[File:BartoonDApage.PNG|thumb|Bart-Toons DA page and the reason why he is Dying Alone]]
[[File:Ronnie LH.jpg|thumb|I don't think she'd react that way!]]
[[File:I love lincoln loud.jpg|thumb|left|I lOVe LinCoLNn lOUd]]
'''Bart-Toons''' (Emanuelito) is a cartoon-obsessed, xenophobic, and possibly [[Autism|autistic]] [[DeviantArt]]-using [[Lolcow|lolcow]]. You'd think that based on his username, his main obsession is Bart Simpson from ''[[The Simpsons]]''. While there was at least one instance [[Whiteknight|he defended him]], his main obsession is ''[[The Loud House]]''. To be more specific, he seems to have a fetish for [[Incest|shipping Lincoln with Leni and Luna]], [[Lazy|even <s>demanding</s> asking other users to make that kind of fanart for him]].

[[Image:Batman_slaps_robin_for_cartoons_by_bart_toons.jpg|thumb|130px|Jesus, if you're going to make ''that'' kind of meme, [[Dumbass|at least do it ''right''!]]]]

As for his art (or lack thereof), like several cartoonaboos, most of his artwork is simply unfunny memes that nobody gives a flying fuck about. But some of those memes are ''beyond'' unfunny, even by unfunny meme standards. However, that isn't his biggest notoriety. Yes, he's obsessed with cartoons to the point where it's implied [[Faggot|he doesn't get out much]]. But what really makes him infamous is his absolute hatred for [[Anime|anime]] and [[Japan]]. Him not liking anime might be excusable to those who aren't obsessed [[Wapanese|weaboos]], but it's his disliking of Japan that's unforgiving. Believe us, [https://www.deviantart.com/bart-toons/art/Anti-Japan-620338953 he ''really'' hates that country,] even though back in 2011, [[wikipedia:2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami|it was in deep shit]]. [https://www.deviantart.com/drewsky1211/art/Bart-Toons-Makes-Me-Sick-728105889 He even admitted to enjoying what Japan got.] He is shown to be a total hypocrite though because he loves video games, especially those made by Nintendo and Sega (and guess where they're made?) It is also not known if he hates other Japanese things like cars and electronics because there's more to that country than just anime.

<center>
<big>'''This is his shitty crossover art'''</big>
[[File:Rocky Balboa.jpg|thumb|center|Lincoln Loud as Rocky Balboa]]
<big>'''What a fucking retard'''</big>
</center>

== Likes ==

{{Rainbow|LINCOLN x LENI x LUNA x LORI!!!11!1}}
[[File:Happy fucksgiving.png|thumb|What Bart-Toons faps to everyday]]
*American Cartoons
*''The Loud House''
*[[incest|Lincoln shipped with Leni and Luna]], plus girls from other cartoons
*Loudcest
*Lincoln Loud
*Request that everyone draw Lincoln getting kissed by his sisters
*Underage cartoon girls
*Filling out memes
*Screwing up memes
*[https://www.deviantart.com/bart-toons/art/I-Love-Videogames-760451997 Video games] (despite the fact that many of them are from Japan!)
*Passing off screenshots as "original" art.
*[[Mr. Enter]]
*[[ToonEGuy]] (despite the fact that he loves anime and hates the Loud House)
*The Simpsons
*Darkwing Duck
*Count Duckula
*The 90s
*[[Niggers]]. Since he hates the Japanese (aliens that are the anti niggers), he is likely to be a [[Wigger]]
*[[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]
*[[Italy]]

== Dislikes ==
[[File:I HATE GREEN BEANS.png|thumb|I FUCKING HATE GREEN BEANS BETTY!]]
*[[Anime]]
*[[Manga]]
*[[Japan]]
*[[Israel]] (Japanese and Jews are just like each other)
*[[Jews]]
*Being asked WHY he hates Japan
*"Mean" people
*People who don't like the Loud House.
*People who don't agree with him.
*People who accuse him of art theft
*[[Teen Titans Go!]]
*[[Family Guy]]
*[[Total Drama]] (even though he thinks some of the female characters are hot!)
*[[Barney]]
*Caillou

== Rant Videos ==
As Bart-Toons grew in notoriety, several small channels on Youtube decided to make rants on him.

<center>
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|'''ThePackagedReviewer's rant'''
<youtube>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfI3IAjJyq8</youtube>

|'''A shitty parody that is very funny'''
<youtube>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvMZ8w7Yclw</youtube>

|'''Drew Pickles's Rant'''
<youtube>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9ITse16i3s</youtube>}}
</center>

==A very special gift for Bart-Toons==

{{cg||Rule 34|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:PC1.png|Oh yeah, fawk yeah boi!
File:PC2.png|Oh god, FUCK! I’m cummin’
File:PC3.png|I’m so full, I gave my virginity to you, mmmmm.
File:PC4.png|Rusty Spokes, you’re patheTHICC
File:PC5.png|Fucking in tha poolhouse, all night looong!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Aelous lewd house.jpeg
File:Aeolus luan.jpg
File:DINO ATTACK.jpg
File:Shadman twincest.jpg
File:WAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg
File:sb99 lewd house.png
File:morning leni.jpeg
File:Genius art.png
File:LoudHouseNetorare.png
File:Stellaisathot.png
File:Loud Threesome.png
File:Surprise Sex.png
File:2 Teens 1 Kid.png
</gallery>}}

==See Also==
[[File:Agent Xero X Lincoln Loud.jpg|thumb|Pedophilia!]]
*[[Ass Burgers]]
*[[Cartoons]]
*[[Incest]]
*[[Italy]]
*[[Javi Suzumiya]]
*[[Pedophile]]
*[[Manchild]]
*[[Mental Retardation]]
*[[Retard]]
*[[The Loud House]]
*[[The United States of America]]
*[[Timbox]]
*[[Yeguscus]]
*[[Dying Alone]]

== External Links ==
*{{Deviantart|bart-toons|Bart-Toons}}
{{dA}}
{{aspies}}
{{Dying alone}}

Azrael2002

2024-08-09T06:20:43Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article in need of a cleanup.

{{13}}
[[Image:FurryAmber.jpg|right|thumb|200px|FAIL is the right of all sentient furfags]]
[http://azrael2002.livejournal.com/ azrael2002] aka [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xladyxfelinex/ xthexladyfelinex], aka [http://azkitten.deviantart.com/ azkitten] (real name: Amber Bin Laden) is a fat, disgusting, filthy twelve–year old [[Internet Tough Guy]] and [[fat furry|furfag]] on [[livejournal]]. Infamous for trying desperately to wrestle the crown of '''Most Batshit Insane Transformers Fan Ever''' from long-time queen [[Raksha]], azraep2002 stalked the 2008 Gay Robot Convention, prostituting herself in the hope of making enough money to feed her three crack babies. When that proved unsuccessful, she tried to get a [[Scientologist]] to father yet another crack baby in the hopes of increasing her welfare check. When he wisely declined, she hid in a basement and proceeded to troll other Transfags on livejournal. Fortunately, failtroll that she is, all she can manage to post are lame variations of "U R GHEY 4 NOT FAPPING TO PIKTURS OF MY ROBOCOCK", proving spectacularly once again she is the malignant tumor that is killing [[B/]].

[[LJ Drama]] Oh noes, assraep whines about constructive criticism![http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/6833982.html#cutid1]

==Present==
[[Image:Amber%27s_toy.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Lubing up for buttsecks]]
azraep2002 rode into the [[Transformers]] fandom several years ago after the furries got sick of her fat ass and kicked her out of [[Gaia Online]]. She then proceeded to generate drama on the [http://www.allspark.com/forums/ Allspark] forums, which was too much for even the lame-ass mods and promptly got the [[banhammer]] for claiming that [[Adolf Hitler]] was simply a misunderstood Robot in Disguise and calling anyone who disagreed a black person. Next, she took her fail to the [http://thepaddedcell71381.yuku.com/ Padded Cell], which is amazingly tolerant of faggortry since it’s run by a New Age lesbian hippie; still, even she had to threaten her with the banhammer after she was convicted of trolling by the internet for insisting Optimus Prime was really a Cuban called [[ Communism|Fidel Castro]]. Being a hippie and therefore spineless, the New Age lesbo did not strike her dead with the power of the hammer as she so richly deserved, thus enabling her to come back and scam an unsuspecting Transfag named [http://rotty-0079.livejournal.com/ Rotty] out of $1,000,000.00. [[Last Thursday]], Rotty insisted she re-pay the money he [http://thepaddedcell71381.yuku.com/topic/5368/t/Keep-your-friends-close-and-your-money-closer.html/ loaned] her; instead, azraep2002 proposed giving him a blowjob in lieu of payment. Naturally, he refused to have any physical contact with this white-trash skank. At that point, she resorted to claiming he was [http://azrael2002.livejournal.com/157462.html/ sexually harassing] her, like all deadbeat scumbags do when faced with their own bullshit.

One look at her fat [http://s17.photobucket.com/albums/b77/xLadyxFelinex/MePics/?action=view&current=Me05.jpg/ carcass] and you’d have to be brain dead to hit it, amirite? Rotty, despite being a Jew, cut his losses and went on to find love with a skinny weeaboo who writes almost decent fanfiction without the baby rape and has an IRL job. Srsly.

azraep2002 then went on to become a lj troll by spamming every Transfag on lj claiming Rotty is a lousy Jew nigger faggot despite the fact no one gave a shit and whining she should be exempt from paying her debts because she is an “artist”, not understanding that tracing other devianTART’s scribbles is not “art”.

She is still butthurt about Rotty ignoring her as you read this. Tell her to STFU here [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xladyxfelinex/], here [http://azkitten.deviantart.com/] and here [http://azrael2002.livejournal.com/].

=Early History=
[[Image:Amber.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Motion passed--MAN THE HARPOOONS!]]
The reputed rape child of [[Osama Bin Laden]] and an aging, opium-smoking transsexual from Phnom Penh, recent evidence suggests that until recently, Amber was a child prostitute, famous in Cambodian brothels for being able to perform the basket fuck the most times in one night. Later on, when she ballooned to 3,648,292 lbs, she became the [[Pedobear]]’s mistress, who began pimping her out. When one of her repeat customers, a German pedo named [[Josef Fritzl]], ass raped her with a broken down Optimus Prime figure, she developed her obsession for Transformers sex and now derives pleasure only when pretending to be at the receiving end of a robot rape train. Despite thousands of hours of therapy and bucketloads of mood stabilizers, she has not been cured of this crazy shit.

=SITREP=
[[Image:Amber%27s_fursona.jpg|right|thumb|200px|azrael2002's fursona]]
Amber currently spends her spare time fingering herself while looking at robot porn written by prepubescent fantards and annoying everyone with her pathetic fanfiction and shitty crayon drawings on [[deviantART]] when not getting the banhammer. After spending her days trying to convince Mexican day laborers to pay $2.00 for a lousy blowjob, she has yaoibuttsecks with her lesbian furryfag girlfriends. Apart from failtrolling, her other hobbies are scamming idiot Transfags out of money and restoring the reputation of Adolf Hitler, aka [[Transformers|Megatron]].

In addition to AIDS, she also suffers from seizures, brought on by her [[unwarranted self-importance]]. This is mainly due to her association with other yaoibuttsecks furfags and her constant search for approval among robot yaoi cosplayers.

While just the latest in a long line of obese, smelly furfags with impaired brain function who have decided to add the Transformers to the steaming shit they shove into their fetid cunts as they destroy everyone's childhood, as an up-and-coming drama machine, azraep2002 is definitely a [[Winnar]].

==Links==

See the fail for yourself

Amber's live journal[http://azrael2002.livejournal.com/] Rambles incoherently about absolutely nothing.

Amber's furAffinty[http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xladyxfelinex/] Learn all the disgusting details about her fursona!

Amber's deviantART[http://azkitten.deviantart.com/] Amber continues to stalk Rotty.

Amber's Photobucket[http://s17.photobucket.com/albums/b77/xLadyxFelinex/MePics/] Look only if you dare.

[[Category: LJ Users]]

{{crap}}

Ayumihamilton

2024-08-09T06:19:30Z

Stooge: Cleaned up the article.

[[File:Ugh.jpg|right|thumb|[[fugly|Classy]] [[Woman]]]]
Ayumihamilton, aka Lady Ayumi, Masterintegra, Ayuham, and other aliases that nobody knows (or wants to know) about, is an [[otaku]] [[drama whore]] that takes the [[internets]] too seriously. She is a huge fan of [[Hellsing]], currently is obsessed with [[fag|Sir Integral]]. She claimed that she was born in [[England]], but she got kicked out because they were tired of her whining, which is one of their biggest pet peeves. Currently she lives in [[Washington]], and still acts like a [[fatass]] [[bitch]] and has [[no friends]] in school. By getting rid of her accent she now talks like [[white trash]]. She has no [[azn]] friends because they know how [[annoying]] and [[bitchy]] she is and how she tries to be like them just to fit in. Instead she has [[wapanese]] friends. She is an angry [[lesbian]] that used to be [[straight]], however most guys [[do not want]] her. Apparently, she is complaining that guys kept emailing her about how they want to have [[buttsecks]] with her, which in fact is true. She usually receives these love notes from [[trolls]] and [[pedophiles]].

==Overview==
===Youtube===
[[File:Ayuham_video.jpg|right|thumb|[[MOAR]][[oneoneone|!!1]]]]
[[YouTube]] is where she started her rampage of [[OL]] [[drama]]. There, she posts her meaningless videos singing [[shitty]] [[anime]] songs from [[Hellsing]]. As a result of having a layer of Cheetos dust coating her throat, she sings like an infant being run over by a Peterbilt. She is easily offended by criticism and will employ a variety of intellectual remarks as a rebuttal. She'll likely cause a dispute (like an [[Internet tough guy]]), telling you to go back to school, and insist that she's the best. Her subscribers defend against her constructive critics saying, "[[retard|OMG! They call you fat!? Youre NOT FAT TO MEEE!!11one!!1]]". [[Plz]], don't get me started on that Hyde karaoke video.

Drama Proof. '''WARNING!''' May contain [[ALL CAPS]].

{| class="wikitable"
|+
|-
| [[Image:AyuDrama.png]] || [[Image:AyuDrama2.png]] || [[Image:AyuDrama3.png]]
|-
| [[Image:AyuDrama4.png]] || [[Image:AyuDrama5.png]] || [[Image:AyuDrama6.png]]
|}

==Tiffany Stevens?==
Believe it or not, Ayumi used to go out with Tiffany aka [[Hellsingripvanwinkle]] who is also a [[Hellsing]] [[fangirl]]. She thought that the relationship would live happily ever after.. but no, they broke up because they argued a lot. Many believe that Ayumi is really Tiffany because of their pale skin, [[fat]], bitchiness, and similar faces. Currently, this remains a mystery.

[http://www.cosplayfucks.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=756&st=225 The time that she defended Tiffany.]

Ayumi Defended Tiffany's [[nazi]] tribute video.

====PROOF:====
[[Image:AyuDefendTiff.png]]

Sorry to piss on your party, but, [[Jews]] can be [[Nazis]] [http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/542105 [1]]

[[Image:AyuDefendTiff2.png]]

Her [[LJ]] Breakup [[Emo]] note:
[[Image:Break_Up.jpg]]

Her [[MySpace]] Breakup Hate note:
[[Image:HateNote.jpg]]

===Livejournal===
[[LJ]] is another site where she writes [[crappy]] blogs full of [[shit nobody cares about|nobody cares about]]. Unlike [[MySpace]]'s "how much she hates [[men]]" blogs, her [[LJ]] blogs focuses [[moar]] on her [[emo]] side.

====Examples:====
[[Image:AyuEmo.png]]
[[Image:AyuEmo2.jpg]]

==Her "[[drama|Dramatic]]" Response to [[ED]]==
[[LULZ]]!! Removed due to [[butthurt]]!
{{quote|To the people that are coming to view my videos cause a stupid website, not gonna name it coughs encyclopedia dramatica coughs Here are the truths about me. To the person that will probably put this up on the site, your a loser.|Ayumihamilton}}

==Ayumi's Idols & Ass-Kissers==
*[[Hellsing]] [[cosplay|Cosplayers]]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Linker83 Linker83], The fabulous Steven.
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/GingerAnne GingerAnne], A fabulous keyblade maker.
*[[Satan]]
*[[Kevin Federline]]
*[[Britney Spears]]
*[[Trolls]]
*[[fat|Fatties]]
*Ppl who [[masturbate]] to [[anime]] characters
*[[Sanjaya]]
*[[Retards]]
*[[w|George "Dubya" Bush]]
*[[Furries]]
*Justin Timberfake
*[[Emos]]
*[[Moar]] [[fat|Fatties]]
*Anyone who subscribed her [[shitty]] [[YouTube]] account
*[[Osama Bin Laden]]
*Jesse McCartney
*[[your mom]]
*[[you]]

==Gallery==
These are photos of her are taken in the dark just to look [[goth]]. These photos lead caused an [[internet disease]]. Other photos of her [[cosplay|cosplaying]] as Sir Integral from [[Hellsing]].

<center>
<Gallery>
Image:AyuBlonde.jpg|Blonde Bombshell? No.
Image:AyuBlonde2.jpg|Licking with her filthy nails.
Image:AyuGoth.jpg|I'm so kawaii!!1
Image:AyuGoth2.jpg|[[Nice try]], but it's [[shopped]].
Image:Ayuham_asking_for_it.jpg|Careful! She's [[asking for it]].
Image:Ayuham_Wigger.jpg|Peace Out! [[Niggas]].
Image:FatFire.jpg|[[WTF]]!!
Image:FGAS.jpg|[[You are doing it wrong]]
Image:SmokingWeed.jpg|She loves to smoke [[teh]] [[weed]].
Image:Pocky_Drug.jpg|She loves her cigar so much, that she ate it like it was [[pocky]].
Image:Ayuham_Bite.jpg|Even [[retarded]] kids like to get a taste of her.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[BBW]]
*[[Hellsing]]
*[[fangirl]]
*[[drama]]
*[[Hellsingripvanwinkle]]
*[[no life]]
*[[cosplay]]
*[[bitch]]

==External Links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=Ayumihamilton Her Youtube account] where the OL drama began</s> '''BALEETED!'''
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=LadyAyumi Her 2nd Youtube Account]</s> '''BALEETED!'''
*[http://masterintegra.livejournal.com/ masterintegra]
*<s>[http://myspace.com/SirIntegraMasterson Her Myspace]</s> '''BALEETED!'''
*[http://www.socialurl.com/SirIntegraMasterson Her Social URL]
*[http://ayumihamilton.livejournal.com/ ayumihamilton] Her archived [[LJ]].
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/nekosister Her OkCupid]

{{ytseries}}
[[category:People]]
[[category:LJ Users]]
[[category:Faggotry]]

Ateaseweb

2024-08-09T06:15:53Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long, nor do I deem this article in need of a cleanup. However, I deem this article crap.

{{nobodies}}
{{Crap}}

[[Image:Kitenhat.jpg|thumb|Your typical Ateaseweb user.]]
[[Image:Bug.jpg|thumb|Aswell.]]
[[Image:Radioheadpornlol.jpg|thumb|What the cat ladies of the classics forum [[fap]] to.]]

[http://www.ateaseweb.com Ateaseweb.com] is a fansite for [[dicks]]. The message board and its origins are somewhat shrouded in mystery, dating back to 1999. It boasts an extremely diverse and developed community, however dysfunctional.

There are three types of people on Atease: those who post strictly in the main forum and worship Radiohead members' various body parts, those who post strictly in the ''other'' music forum and compulsively create lists to prove their musical nerdiness, and those who stay mostly in general chat and are obsessed with meeting up and [[sex|fucking]] one another (genchat is also home to countless [[Asperger's syndrome|intelligent but disaffected teenagers who are really into sarcasm and outverbalizing each other]]). Naturally, there are many exceptions, but it's impressive how long this format has stayed pretty much unchanged despite a lot of turnover.

=Radiohead=

==In Rainbows==

In Rainbows is an awful album by Radiohead which was made listenable by some vinyl dude who doesn't like his work being shared. In keeping with the spirit of his wishes, here are some links so you too can enjoy it -

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DW1YKHHX
http://www.sendspace.com/file/7ten6j
http://www.zshare.net/download/73528211090fbb79/
http://hotfile.com/dl/32069741/74466c9/abc123inrain.zip.html
http://depositfiles.com/en/files/pq2v5n6xg

=The Story Behind the Boarder=

==Notable [[Faggots|Homos]] and Other Prominent Boarders of Atease==

[[Image:Firerabbitjizz.jpg|thumb|Dada Science's only significant contribution to boarding.]]
[[Image:Danielmarrisafuckingfaggot.jpg|thumb|Former boarding stalwart JohnnyMarr/Crispin Alexander]]
[[Image:80smusic.jpg|thumb|Some of the more significant (lol) boarders from the [[hipsters|music subforum]]]]

* adriaan (admin)
* alan
* Ally
* Ash (top poster)
* Benjamin Linus (cunt)
* Boxcars
* Chat
* Clarky
* computer talk
* Crazy Disco Party
* Crispin Alexander
* Dada Science
* eat the sun
* Gash Tache
* Goudvis
* Grunthos The Flatulent
* Hank Kinsley
* Helvikene
* Hot Dog Day #49
* hulmerist
* I Like To Iron
* irondragons
* Izzi/mass hysteria
* Jack F Brown
* Jack Shite/fsmicropenis
* Jaunty Angle
* Jehannum
* Jenks
* JohnRoss/Silverion
* kae'at k'lasa
* Knickers
* lightningscar
* _LIZ_ (gumpee)
* lover's spit
* lukin?
* Mack8
* mathsislife
* Maze
* Mr. Yuk
* nanakey (admin)
* Nexus6 (pedophile)
* Osaka Seafood Concern
* Plasma Agitator
* Plopsack
* psycho
* rainwater
* Rhies (resident wanker)
* Sillygoose
* skinny_antenna
* Synesthesia Syntax (gumpee)
* Tom Piltoff
* TomorrowsCat
* Unheard_Of (admin)
* Viddy
* Wahdiohead
* Will Quotes
* Woodo
* you ever seen a ghost?

==The Rise and Fall of Yifan Guo==

[[Image:Realyifan.jpg|right|thumb|kekekekekeke]]
[[azn|Yifan Guo]] is a tragic [[emo|misanthrope]]. As one of the original [[faggots|Ateasers]], this strange convergence of [[lol cow|neurotic]] blogger and tenacious troll employed an arsenal of china-related aliases, all focused on two final goals: to disrupt racial harmony (he's azn, lol) and to get some advice on boning [[secret fatty|hot chicks]].

Yifan was perhaps the most oft-banned Ateaser. From his genesis as DetunedRadio, to his rebirth as Warchild, and in his latest incarnation as [[otherkin|Starlight]], the guy has never seen fit to modify his approach or post his picture in Mugshots. As a consequence, pwners (not likely) known as Boxcars and Robert C Mackle teamed up with co-conspi'''racist''' (he's azn, lol) Ocin to conduct the most lukewarm of all pwnings. An alias was registered, in the form of HerSpaceResearch - a female [[azn|Chinese]] love interest who would either make or break Yifanchan once and for all. The name Lin Yao was selected by Boxcars, alongside pictures contributed by Ocin of some random azn chick from MySpace. Yifan fell for Boxcars' and Mackle's affectionate posts and Ocin's suggestive PMs, and soon enough declared his [[erection|love]] for the fictional creation. Pictures, phone numbers, and [[pegging|sexually-charged]] stories were exchanged, and when the time came for the Big Reveal, Boxcars [[pussy|chickened]] out and suggested that Yifan never discovered the extent of the deception. Ocin however had other plans, revealing everything but the pictures (which were wrongly assumed to be fakes) and forcing yifan into a self-imposed exile of [[masturbation|shame]].

It was a long time before he returned, and Mackle and Boxcars bridged the gap by registering new aliases in Yifan's honor. For a while, ComotoseBunnyButcher and WenJiabao provided (barely) passable Yifan impersonations until the [[cock|little guy]] (he'z asn, lol) saw it fit to return. At this time, Boxcars and Yifan had formed a somewhat [[gay|parasitical]] relationship on MSN, in the form of Boxcars' penance for being so downright [[yiff|nasty]]. During these bonding sessions, Boxcars finally discovered that the Yifan pictures in his possession were actually genuine, and also managed to accumulate a further 3 pictures, 2 of which he posted on Atease during his short-lived work as the Rogue Moderator Rorschach (when Yifan was once again in need of pwning).

==Ramshackle==

On July 7, 2003, during Radiohead's ''Hail to the Thief'' Tour, a fan on the messageboard registered the alias "freedom for Palestine" and began [[Trey Burba|posting bomb threats]] for the show in Bergamo, [[Italy]] that night. The matter was investigated by authorities, who identified a messageboard user known as "ramshackle". Unfortunately, soon after, the messageboard suffered a major crash and all post data was lost. "Ramshackle" was [[party van|apprehended, tried, and incarcerated]] for 2 months. [http://www.ateaseweb.com/2003/07/07/suicide-bomb-threat/ No shit].

==Adriaan==

[[Image:Adriaan.png|thumb|right|What people believe adriaan looks like.]]
No one really knows whether the apparent owner of the board Adriaan actually exists. Affectionately known as 'ade' or 'that dutch bastard' around the board, the true identity of Atease's first member remains uncertain. Amongst other theories, atease member Sebadohead recently stated that Adriaan was nothing more than "Pins dressed as a man". Some say he sleeps upside down wearing only a kilt and that he only eats small Filipino boys. Most likely he is merely another alias. Ade is a supremely clueless and inapt site admin, who's let the site decay into its current state slow servers, porn ads, and penis pix. In January the board was hacked, and Ade promised that the board would be upgraded to version 3.0, we have not seen this yet and much of the board's functions are currently broken.

==Goudvis==

Goudvis began his slow and treacherous climb up the atease shit pile sometime in 04. He soon garnered popularity in the community for being "that quirky carrot fucker" and charmed many women/girls/toddlers into e-marrying him. In mid 06, it was suggested that a new moderator be added to the roster of the almost entirely non-existent atease staff, and Goudvis campaigned (unopposed) for this position. Eventually, Ade woke up long enough to grant Goudvis moderator status. Despite not actually moderating the place, Goudvis still wanted more power, and was made admin by late 07. This move sparked anger amongst the users of atease, but Goudvis found reason to ban them before they could speak out. Currently, he leaves the site almost entirely unmoderated, save for a few arbitrary bannings and thread locks every few weeks. The last rebels seceded when their leader, Crispin Alexander, had a mental breakdown, cut his hair, and pulled a Holden Caufield. As of now, Goudvis has accepted his fate as the hated admin, and continues to ban certain member repeatedly, while lying about numerous aspects of his adminship to escape menial tasks such as name changing.

Goudvis has attracted notoriety for decreeing that all Radiohead fans and Atease forum members must share his PC liberal/left political views. Certain topics or even the mention of 'offensive' words such as 'black' or 'muslim' were enough to get the offenders unceremoniously banned. In the summer of 2008 he became embroiled in controversy when the infamous 'Southie' posted a succession of racist diatrabes against white people. In one thread she called for the extermination of all white people in Africa. When it was pointed out to Goudvis that inciting genocide was a serious breach of International law, let alone the terms and conditions of Atease, he simply refused to even moderate the threads in question and instead banned anyone who objected to her.

In late 2008 the glorious Fuhrer Goudvis, champion of race and nation, heroicly suppressed the winter rebels in an uprising against At Ease poster boy Nexus. Nexus - who has served At Ease for many years, and never ever touched a child in an inappropriate way - was attacked entirely without reason by almost EVERYONE on At Ease, entirely coincidently. Heroic leader Goudvis stepped in to action, banning members high and low, at the expense of his own popularity and respect. Not that he had either. During the summer of 2009 Goudvis was driven off the board. More recently he was demoted to Moderator and rarely comes to atease anymore.

However, the spirit of Goudvis lives on under new admins and classics forum nobodies nanakey, clairey and Beachbum.

==Crazy Disco Party==

[[ retard | Crazy Disco Party ]] (also known as [[ fat | Sean ]]) is probably the one of the most consistent boarders on the atease. He consistently makes parody threads in Main which almost always get reported, to which he usually receives a suspension for. 
Outside of [[ Asperger's syndrome| Crazy Disco Party's head ]], however, it's a worth noting that these threads are incredibly unfunny and banal. 

He was banned for a while when the new administrator Benjamin Linus was knighted, due to Crazy Disco Party posting a thread containing intimate details about a car crash Linus was in. This resulted in a hilarious uproar of [[ RAGE | Linus' family completely freaking out and a lot of emotionally charged posts by both accounts ]]. Crazy Disco Party claims that he had no prior knowledge of this and that it was some kind of practical joke. He was unbanned and issued an apology by Linus for his overreaction.

Crazy Disco Party joined atease in 2003 but didn't start posting regularly until 2005. He has made a name for himself by making literally hundreds and hundreds of threads, most of which are complete crap but he made countless timeless ones (most of which are now lost due to the board hack) like 'drop to the floor at the end of just', the atease christmas card threads and just loads of others that are so great so just trust me (they're all utter shite). It's worth noting that Crazy Disco Party has tried to tamper with this article, many at time, so as to give the reader, you, [[shit nobody cares about|a more solid reading experience]].

== mathsislife ==

Mathsislife/John Bond registered to Atease on the dawn of "In Rainbows" - Radiohead's 7th Studio album. John Bond started out his life as a Troll, and not much has changed since. For a while he took refuge in the Meeting People is Easy thread, which is now [[ ass | moot ]]. He spends a considerable amount of time on MSN, masturbating to a select group of premium individuals. His favourite hobbies include - Distributing pictures of his younger [[Jailbait|sister]], Faye, to grown men,(whose names begin with a C) soon approaching their first pension cheques. Whenever [[Troll|John Bond]] has free time, he takes a liking to typing up [[Shit nobody cares about|long, hyperbole laden paragraphs, reminding us all of his failed life]] and wearing green shoes.

==Hot Dog Day #49==
[[Image:Hellokittyrule34.jpg|thumb|left|HotDogDay retires after a day of [[ fisting | furious boarding. ]] ]]
There was once a man so encapsulated within the spherical realm which some call the worldwide internet that he committed himself greatly, and with ever-present dedication and loyalty to the practice unlike any which this earth has ever seen. This hallowed practice is known as “boarding” or to some less kindred spirits, “posting”. The ritual involves churning ones soul forth unto a flagrant community of deranged, tepid, and otherwise incomprehensible beings. Each of their minds are represented by a pseudonym and image, vastly unrelated to their actual, meaningless lives. One by one they gather together in a sort of virtual collective intelligence, each trying to outpace each other’s feeble comments with one more revolting and insinuating than the last. Frequent debates, or “flame wars” often occur, wherein two or more representations are in a heated battle of the mind, fought with derogatory, hateful, and often soul-shattering insults, meant to crush the opponent into submission by pure thought alone. This is where our subject comes into question. Hot Dog Day #49 is one of the leaders of this postage brigade. He himself, has amassed nearly twenty thousand individual boarding calls, and has done so with the utmost grace, style, and fanatical criticism that have ever been divulged. His power is unmatched, and his absolutely, unblinkingly rude commentary never, ever goes unnoticed. It was perhaps at the dawn of his postal service, that he chose his ultimate path. We may never know, however, as his actual identity is as reclusive as the very soul in which we all seek to discover entombed within our unfortunately mortal flesh. After finding love with the lesser Estonia sister, he came to the great realization that his boarding career really screwed him up and made him FREAK OUT and that he had to leave forever to save himself from becoming a goblin.

==Wierd Fishee==

Wierd Fishee sold her house and moved her entire family to Oxford, for reasons she claims had nothing to do with the fact that it is the home of Radiohead. While there, she divorced her husband because she fell in love with a mysterious musician she refers to as her "soul mate" or her "boyfriend"--despite the fact that she does not have and has never had a relationship with this person. For over a year she has said that they will hopefully be together "soon". Because she met her self-described soul mate the exact same day she met Thom Yorke, because her posts detailing her encounters with her soul mate closely resemble her posts detailing running into Thom Yorke, and because she interprets every song Thom has written since they met to be about the narrator leaving behind his stifling relationship for a new lover, many have come to the conclusion that Wierd Fishee is a mentally ill stalker who believes Thom is in love with her. Wierd Fishee will hurl insults and threats when her beloved Thom is slighted in any fashion, and because she is pathologically lacking in self-awareness will react with an air of wounded martyrdom when she is attacked because people believe she is implying that Thom is a scumbag who gets his bandmates together to write a concept album about wanting to fuck another woman which he then performs in front of his longterm partner and their children. She is the mother of ateaser transdimensional.

Sadly, Patricia passed away in early 2011 from a brain aneurysm. [http://board.ateaseweb.com//index.php?showtopic=235094060&view=findpost&p=6477674| Her good organs were harvested.]

==Silverion==

'''Michael Kim Trowbridge''' is a [[old|25-year-old]] [[retard]] from Middle [[England]] who comes out with this sort of crap:

[[Image:silvoftherings.jpg|thumb|left|You wouldn't like him when he's angry]]

''This is essentially related to the last thread of mine. Since that went into crapism with the usual overlong posts that are spam and idiots posting without actually saying anything... The point stands that people always try to find groups that are most close to them. Trying to find a mould. I always used to say i will not be a sheep. I will not look for my own mould. The group of people who are most close to my own sence of personality. So many friendships people form that are shallow and dont mean all that much. Based on how much you have in common with others. Well everyone knows opposites attract. Everyone also knows that a few friends formed over time mean more then a dosen friends formed over a matter of weeks. This is what i mean by cliques. And no. I am not part of a clique unless you would name it as an anti clique. Which i guess i am. But thats better then a bunch of friends who stab you in the back as soon as you start to change. So does anyone here know what i am trying to say?''

He changed his name from Silverion to JohnRoss some time ago as to avoid the reputation he built for himself previously. It didn't really work and he now stacks cans for a living at Tesco (actually a lie, as he was recently exposed as a benefits scrounger who pockets a small fortune in [[Bullshit|"disability"]] hand outs.) and spends his spare time exacting vengeance on those who mock his backwards feet with his trusty Braveheart replica sword.

==Gert==

==[http://oi47.tinypic.com/2m2vzmw.jpg This is not who I am,this is NOT OKAY]==

gertruda_1 is a 26 year old obese Croatian troll. She writes angry posts in terrible English about how men suck, and how she thinks that every man she has ever met is evil. The only sexual experience she ever had was with a [[dog|golden retriever]] called Bilbo. Despite her hatred of men, Gertruda desperately wants to have a boyfriend. However, she will never achieve this dream, since the actual problem is that men think she is evil, rather than the other way around. Similarly, she professes her hate for ateaseweb and everyone in it yet continues to frequent the board and annoy everyone with her posts. Most agree this is because her life is one big depressing and pathetic Croatian trainwreck. Gertruda picks up leaves in a park for a living and regularly complains about how poor she is. However, she somehow manages to afford music and video games, and of course the huge amounts of junk food that are required to maintain her disgustingly high body weight. She is famous for seeking out topics with "penis", "vagina" and "anal" in the title, entering them and reading all the posts, then posting her disgust at having to read such filth and subsequently reporting the topics to Goudvis to delete. There are rumors that she bribes Goudvis by sending him naked photos of herself (Goudvis apparently has a fetish for obese trolls).

In late 2009 details of Gert's attempted [[Rape|seduction]] of, and subsequent rejection by, [[white trash]] [[Aussie]] Borat lookalike Augie February were leaked to the board prompting Gert to become and even angrier, more embittered board laughing stock than ever before. She now deletes her account and post and leaves the board forever on an almost monthly basis only to return shorty with an even more hilarious outlook on life. She was last seen posting under the alias "Lady Vengeance", but now prefers to spend her evenings sending weird texts to people who have "wronged" her, spamming their email accounts with password recovery emails, and placing bogus ads in their name. Goodness knows what [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|dastardly shit]] she has planned in the future. It seems that her capacity for [[Butthurt|vengeance]] knows no bounds.

==Barry28==

Sam Barrington began his rapid rise to board notoriety in the Autumn of 2009 when, tired of posting without being noticed, he decided to change his name to various dictators and then actually board in character. This proved to be unpopular so he reverted to type and posted some of the most inane shite in the history of boarding and built up an impressive postcount. Unfortunately his slightly [[bestiality|unusual]] relationship with his pet and sole friend Molly came to light during this posting spree so, taking advantage of an unsucessful [[An hero|suicide attempt]], Barry28 drove 12 hours to lose his [[virginity]] to fellow carcrash boarder Will Quotes. When Will Quotes dumped Barry28 for long term boyfriend (and noted child molester) Viddy, Barry28 retaliated with the following:

''Hey, i'm not sure if this is the account you use for emails so you might not get this. I'm also not sure if your phone is playing up again or if you're just not replying to me. I can understand the latter.

''I made it clear in Aberdeen that i was sorry for the way i had behaved. After you told me to stop talking about my family and myself so much, i tried to do that. I know i'm moody, but i really do like being with you. I had fun and i know i should have offered to take you places or out to dinner or something. I'm just not used to relationships of any sort as you know.''

''I think i know why after telling me you didn't want to see James, you are seeing him now. You don't have anyone else there really. You told me you weren't with him, so i believe that, but it's still really hard knowing that he can be with you and i can't. He's lied to you and messed you about so much and it makes me very angry.''

''I am in love with you, and it hurts not being with you. I'm not very good at showing how i feel, i know this. But i really do love you and think you're beautiful. I really want us to try and get to know each more, and you said you wanted that. I really do. I need you and i want you to need me.''

''I'm not going to go "lol troll" and leave you, i will never leave you. I know that all your previous relationships have resulted in guys leaving you. I will never do that, i couldn't do that. You an amazing person and i want to be with you. I am trying to be less selfish and think of others, to be less arrogant and all the other truths you told me. I needed to hear them and no one else has ever told me like you did, bluntly. It has worked.''

''I don't want to say much about James as you know what he's like and what my opinions on him are , but i know he will continue to mess you around and if you want to move on and do well at uni, he will not help, whether you are "together" or not. He's done some awful things to you that i could never forgive anyone for and that you shouldn't have to forgive him for.''

''I'd really like to come and see you in N.Ireland as i've said. I could get the ferry and drive up, which wouldn't be far at all, or i could fly from Birmingham.''

''Please don't shut me out, i love you so much. I'm not asking you to trust me, but to let me prove that i want to be with you, and only you.''

He flew from the UK to Boston to fuck Sophie G. a matter of weeks later.

==Jaunty Angle==

marting (intentional lower case m) is a big gay, [[roflcoptor]].

==Ash==

[[Image:Ash2010.jpg|thumb|right|The most prolific boarder on AtEase. No seriously.]]

As of January 2010, this [[Asperger's syndrome|weird little dude]] (aka twenty-five-year-old Aaron of Minnesota) has accumulated over [[basement dweller|90,000 posts]], making him by far the top [[faggot|poster]] on Atease. Obsessed with [[furry|monkeys]], [[cock|ducks]], and the [[vore|absurd]], his life is one never ending pursuit of a larger post count. His posts are mostly incoherent, frequently [[retarded|brilliant]] messes of puns and [[tl;dr|alliteration]] peppered with obscure [[fag|pop]] culture references (ex-pop star Aaron Carter, band Super Furry Animals, and actor Crispin Glover are a few of his [[masturbation|fixations]]). In late 2006, he was banned after attempting to bypass flood control through multi-browser browsing. To further humiliate him, Ade had his post count reduced to one. However, he easily bypassed the ban, and posted on atease under several aliases, Dr. Lime/Evil Dad Ash 3/Abu. He had suggested that he may have his name changed to Abuladdin, Aladdin, and din. He is currently sporting a massively unattractive beard.

In November of 2009 his Abu account was deleted by car-crash survivor Brent because Brent hated the board and wanted to destroy it wah wah. The same guy who deleted him felt bad for him because Ash legitimately had a massive breakdown so he reinstated his Ash account and gave him his original postcount. He was recently outed as looking like the lead singer of the Fleet Foxes, which whenever mentioned, he tries to hide resentment for by regularly spewing inane amounts of his usual bumbling oddly spaced posts that resemble random notes from serial killers.

[http://tw.youtube.com/user/rodeomonkey84 This is his YouTube channel], where he makes videos for his homemade music.

=Notable Events=

==Leaving atease==

Many users deem it necessary to have themselves deleted from atease permanently. Radiohead fans genetically lack the ability to quit stuff using their own free will. Cock tease Mannequin left atease for good and had her account deleted. She was spotted over the next few days on various messageboards over the world wide web, including [http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/index.php gaia online] and the [http://www.s2ki.com/forums/index.php?s=13edbf9e31374649b3f40c2bcfc4595b&act=idx honda s2000 forums]. Unfortunately due to not being 11 and her lack of an s2000 she was unable to integrate herself into these communities and eventually came crawling back. She returned to atease 3 days after leaving as wilson the volleyball. Other members who have left atease only to soon return include The Ghost Of 'Lectricity, Viva Hate, and a few others.

==Soliciting Minors==

[[Image:LEGSFROMHELL.jpg|thumb|right|The legs from hell.]]
It has become common practice on atease for male members to try to solicit nude pictures from the teenage girls that currently plague atease. As you would expect, the most common offenders are those who scream pedo at other guys for pointing out that people under 30 are sometimes hot. Unfortunately, as of this date, no members have been successful in achieving the holy grail of internet perverts everywhere. Often when such advances for pictures are not met members often lash out and harass the female users even more. Male members often try to use their own genitalia to persuade the youngsters to part with their precious nudes. Many users believe nexus6 used the LEGSFROMHELL to solicit noods from Pokeh, but again, this is JUST CONJECTURE. After Goudvis was driven off the board, Nexus6 hasn't really been around much because no one sticks up for him.

==Penis Pix==

[[Image:erasercock.jpg|thumb|left|One of many AtEase dicks to found their way onto the internetz]]

Genchat has seen an incredible volume of male genitalia pictures in its time. Sexually frustrated Ateasers such as [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=56154&hl= Viva Hate], kid8, Polvo del Coyote, Scottish Dude, and most recently, [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=91602&hl= transdimensional], have for whatever fucking reason felt compelled to take pictures of their penes and post them on the message board (though they are occasionally leaked by the females whom these guys intended to woo). Transdimensional was sold out by the user meisadumb1 when she leaked the pics into an msn group conversation. Much hilarity ensued with people posting the link here, there, and everywhere. Notable [[troll]] boxcars suggested seducing transdimensionals mum, who posts on atease under the [[alias]] weird fishee, and showing her own sons [[cock]] to her whilst passing it off as his own. Sad sick fuck.

==Atease Couples==

Atease has brought together a surprising number of couples, some of whom have traveled thousands of miles to meet and fuck each other. A few examples:

* Radioskull and blackstar (who?)
* shimbot and the dude (now married)
* Scott Walker and Ocin/Joanna and Kathleen (first board threesome)
* May-May and Faithless
* pins and crap
* Knickers and [[Down's syndrome|Crazy Disco Party]]
* Nanakey and skinny_antenna
* Will Quotes and Plopsack
* [[Asperger's syndrome|Crispin Alexander]] and eat the sun
* [[Asperger's syndrome|TomPiltoff]] and lightningscar
* wearethepigs and Barton (currently on indefinite hiatus)
* TomorrowsCat and Jenks
* Hot Dog Day #49 and helvikene
* [[Asperger's syndrome|Mathsislife]] and Rainwater (''allegedly'')
* [[Gay|lover's spit]] and [[Faggot|7sk]]
* Sophie G's gaping hirsute vag and [[You|various sad virgins]]

=="The Classics" and "Cheesecake"==

There is a board that most people pretend doesn't exist, and it is The Classics board, full of obnoxious, elitist bitches who write and fap to Radiohead [[porn]] [[fan fiction]], also known as [[Thom Yorke and Cheesecake|Cheesecake]]. You have been warned.

=Years in Summary=

==2004==
In May of 2004, ateaseweb.com's message board saw a surge of users due to Radiohead's performance as promoters for the Coachella festival. There was another crash, with many boardies left in disarray without post counts and familiar aliases to fall back on. When the board was reestablished later that month, users were required to provide an e-mail address, which led to a noticeable decrease in offensive aliases. 2004 was also the year the impressively original phrase "my god, you are ugly" became rampant throughout the message board as a form of [[troll]]ing. In response, it became a joke to retort "say what you will, I'm not ashamed of my face." What's wrong's the wrong that's always in wrong. Also, fans started suggesting that "Punch Up is JUST RIPE to be a 10-15 Live Jam!", parodying Radiohead's guitarist Jonny Greenwood's comments on jamming as "mutual masturbation." There was a series of completely useless online petitions started to support this cause. All of them failed. [[Fuck]]ing [[emo]] [[ass|dumbasses]].

==2005==

It was in 2005 that a plot to destroy the ateasers, was uncovered. All signs point to the evil Mortigi Tempo as being the source of the destruction. Multiple Atease crashes have left the ateasers scattered and alone, but a few brave soldiers have taken it upon themselves to annihilate the evil MT from the inside by making it the opposite of what it is: interesting and witty. The task proved to be easier than previously thought. MT seemed to lay down its arms immediately, the beauty and originality of the ateasers blinding their putrid souls.

As the rebuilding of their kingdom continued, real life awaits all ateasers. May it be swell.

It is also worth noting that 2005 was the year Crazy Disco Party decided to embark on a personal crusade to get as many posts as possible.

==2006==

Crazy Disco Party (then IilasticarettyIII) along with classic boarders like cashmango, NinjaBreadMan and trixtah took over Gen Chat and had lots of fun and IilasticarettyIII changed his name about 50 times one letter at a time and people had to guess would it turn out to be and it was fun.

==2007==

After the non-entity that was 2006, atease sparked back into life in 2007 with some truly memorable threads.

Notable users included hellobidies, and his relationship with plasma agitator, KidA/mnesiac becoming the first person to have two threads simultaneously in classics, ragdoll and her inevitable death, as well as the slow, sad decline of wierd fishee into her mental breakdown.

In actual fact, a user, Drea, did die at the age of 29 of a stroke. No shit.

==2008==

2008 began slowly, with many notable users (Kathleen, Crispin Alexander, rainwater, TomorrowsCat, Polvo del Coyote, September) leaving, and several being banned (ReCreeper, Kid A/mnesiac). Atease was held together by MPINE, a chat thread in which almost every single "important" ateaser posted. This thread (pronounced M-Pine), was created by the man known as "Doity." Doity left atease for known reason, but most believe the legend he lurks around trying to find "Pumpkin Eater." New and promising faces emerged from the gen chat scene include mathsislife, Pretty Patterns, Hot Dog Day #49, superdave (later leaving the board over cock pics), irondragons (faggot), eat the sun (easily angered), and the.eraser (has a great accent and is a huge pervert).

Genchat went under something of a revival. TomorrowsCat, Crispin Alexander and Kid A/mnesiac (under the new moniker I Like To Iron) were posting regularly again, as well as other boarders becoming more amusing. Izzi and Plasma Agitator were generally considered to have a monopoly on being the hot girls of gen chat, since all of the other girls had left; neither of them seemed flattered at all.

A minor stir was caused in late September, when it was revealed that Winsley and Bidies had resumed their relationship, though now they are no longer an item.

'''The November Purge'''

Late 2008 bought dark times for At Ease, with the 'November Purge' gutting gen-chat of many of its best members. The controversy was bought about by facist Goudvis siding with unpopular pedophile Nexus and clueless foreigner Gertuda regarding several incidents of "bullying". By several, that actually means a continued campaign of harassment lasting well over a year, however the fact is neither of them are very good people and probably (certainly) deserve to be bullied. None the less, the November Purge robbed At Ease of freedom of speech and expression, and the formally jovial realm of gen chat became one of oppression and sadness. [[Image:Nexbeach.jpg|thumb|Left|Nexus6 on the prowl.]] Amongst others, members banned or suspended during the crisis included Alan, psycho, mathsislife, Barry28, Crispin Alexander, Capt Monterey Jack, Disinterested and Charles Haywire. This led to a horrific backlash; Eat The Sun invaded and conquered main, crippling the community that blossomed there. The sheer volume of moderation during the crisis - which many rightly considered to be totally unjustified - resulted in widespread calls for the resignation of carrot-fuck-head Goudvis, and more extreme members have even called for his death.

As we moved into the second half of November, the spirit of revolution still hung in the air, though the coup seemed to have been called off. Almost all of the banished At Easers have returned in some shape or form, and life in general chat continued much the same as it was before - the one notable absense being that of the infamous :nexus: smiley.

On November 19th, Goudvis upped the ante. Within a matter of days he'd deleted the account I Like To Iron, as well as Eat The Sun (who later returned as angelene) and noted faghat Yakabe (a.k.a. Helpless/Worthless/Useless/Lived With A Junkie/[[handjob|Wanked Off]] A Tramp/Helpless). Despite half a dozen attempts, Yakabe was never able to regain the respect of GenChat without a 2000-strong post-count as /b/lackup, and eventually went into exile. A board precedent was set shortly afterwards when Crazy Disco Party successfully contested a thread deletion, regarding some self-harm images. It is now thought that the revolution is back on, [[bullshit|with Crazy Disco Party the most likely candidate for our new glorious leader.]]

==2009==

Atease, stuck in this funk of no lulz and fewer personalities than ever before as old boarders drifted away like rats from a sinking ship, or a stinking shit, or some such, continued to decline. Radiohead almost completely forgotten except in main (they eat babies and smell) and Anyone Can Play Guitar (god knows, trust me boys), genchat succumbed to a bunch of cunts and a bunch of even bigger cunts, leaving the whole place in ridiculous excess of cunts.

During late summer, administrator Goudvis and his reign of terror were put to an end, he resigned because he could no longer deal with the frequent diaper changes that Nexus6 required. He gave the torch up and it was given to a quirky 21 year old bro from California called [[ Basement-dweller | Benjamin Linus ]]. He made a good first impression by reinstating the accounts of many who were banned by Goudvis in his reign of terror, this led to some slight backlash in the beginning, but in the end produced good boarding.

New Years eve brought the hacking of Atease. There wasn't really been a completely clear explanation of the events that occurred at the time of this edit. Finidi was the account that allegedly hacked the board but it was said that it wasn't really him behind it and it was later discovered that car-crash cunt admin Benjamin Linus had been responsible, trying to create traffic for his own worthless 130bpm messageboard that no-one gives a fuck about. Several randoms were made administrator including Ash, admin nanakey and moderator addict were completely deleted. Every subforum on the site was deleted except for Multilingual, which every thread was moved to. Most of the megathreads such as WHEAT were deleted. This prompted a response from Ade, who was convinced by the staff that there was a huge flaw in the 1998 forum software. The board was restored to a mostly working state, and Ade promised a board upgrade to IPB version 3.0. It was only upgraded to the latest version of 2.x. Ade has since completely disappeared, no one knows where he is and he is not in contact with the administrators.

==2010==

This season brought a new chapter to atease folklore: '''THE UNCOVERING OF HOT GIRL ALIASES'''
Boarders Izzi and the anti suck were both outed to be aliases. The anti suck (Morgan Henderson) was created by a boarder called Owls (Laura Weiss). To fabricate an identity for the anti suck, Owls created a Facebook page for Morgan, using pictures of some unknown trendy and attractive girl from the LA area. A network of friends was also created by Owls, a facade of countless fake Facebook pages were set up by Owls as a network of friends of Morgan to give the impression that Morgan was actually a real person. She was outed because of suspicions that arose from some extremely sketchy characteristics during post-thanksgiving season. Right around the time that the anti suck was discovered and banned, Owls completely disappeared and no longer responds to communication of any kind. This is most likely due to embarrassment. [[Image:Hotnessi.jpg|thumb|"Izzi" at her hottest.]] Izzi was acted out by a male boarder called Mass Hysteria. Suspicions arose to her cause when discussions of the anti suck brought attention to other hot girl boarders who no one had ever met. Boarder Hot Dog Day #49 heroically asked an administrator to run an IP address check on her account and it was quickly revealed that she was indeed a fake. Later on, Mass Hysteria admitted his losses and explained that he basically had a mental breakdown. Most of genchat thought it was hilariously pathetic and laughed at his expense. He also seemed to have lost a few long term friends over his charade, this too brought laughter at his expense.

Most of the major events of 2010 revolved around British boarders Barry28 and Will Quotes, including Will Quotes' suicide attempt, Barry28's subsequent loss of virginity to her and Will Quotes' two timing of Barry28 and long term boyfriend (and third highest poster) Viddy. The leaking of Barry28's love letter to Will Quotes and his subsequent rejection by Boston [[jew]]-[[slut]] Sophie G. eventually led to an extensive exile from the board.

Another notable event of 2010 was Crazy Disco Party become the second highest poster on AtEase after his permaban was revoked in the wake of the board hacking scandal.

==2011==

After the NY Clique folded in 2010, mostly due to the Sarapik sisters working their way through every North American male boarder, the board once again became dominated by Brits. Of these Brits, boarding legend Crazy Disco Party, master troll Plopsack, Official Best Euro Boarder 2010 wearethepigs, lanky cunt Gash Tache and comeback king I Like To Iron formed the all conquering Power 5 (or P5 as it has become known) and immediately set about removing perennial 14 year old Bug from the general chat forum. For this they were universally hailed as heroes and will continue to rule the board with an iron fist for the foreseeable future.

In late January, the worst kept secret in clique history was let out of the bag, when Gash Tache was replaced by Maze after his decline involving the boarder specialist, who has since left. In February, the P5 suffered its first major setback, as posting machine wearethepigs (Luke) was suspended for five days after an avatar related scandal. To crown an impressive return to boarding form, psycho was rewarded with a temporary spot in the P5.

As with all cliques initiated and maintained solely by terrible retards, the P5 dissolved even quicker than it started.

==2012-2013==

The usual events of Atease daily life continued, so dull as to be barely noticeable. MPINE was taken over by How Happy. An increasingly demented Ash slowly reached his 100k by posting in WHEAT; other boarders stacked up staggering post-counts in pursuit of banter, and Limmy's show remained the funniest on TV. It helps when enough happens that you don't go meta.

= Threads of Notable Idiocy =

* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=49085 Martin post the third person thread]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=135 WHEAT]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=52053 CHAFF...MARK I]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=72020&hl= the greatest board hoax ever]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=57716&hl= The Viva Hate Q&A]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=63052&hl= i think i'm nonsexual like a faux-moz/fakeVIVA]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=82207&hl= I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM AND CRY]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=91782 Thrad.]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=44196 ARPEGGI!!1!!1!1!]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=9225 Let's invade the Hanson forums!]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=47068 Gay Week]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=48477 Turn On the Bright Lights vs Nevermind]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=47472 Stupid Chinese Bitch ass motherfuckers]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=53461 BIG News!!!]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=235080366 Is it wrong to assume Vampire Weekend are wealthy / privaleged?]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=235086516 I want an indie girlfriend]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=235079759 Attention Hot Dog Douche #49]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=235082580 Guidelines and restrictions for moderators]
* [http://www.ateaseweb.com/mb/index.php?showtopic=235082986 Which of these 10.0 boarders will lose their virginity first?]
 

{{music}}

[[Category: Fandom Stuff]]

Ali Akbar

2024-08-09T06:11:16Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article in need of a cleanup.

[[File:AliAkbarGrindrCLoseup.png|right|200px|Ali Akbar knows how to climb the ladder to the top.]]

'''Ali Akbar'''{{muslim}} is a [[Faggot|fabulous]] upstanding new conservative activist of [[Paki|mixed]] [[Nigger|ancestry]]. He has also been sexually servicing the recently outed [[Template:Gayrepublicans|gay republican]] [[Karl Rove]] for years.

== A Troubled Youth==
[[File:AliAkbarMugshot1.jpeg|right|300px|He's more presentable in this mugshot than the one from his other arrest]]

Ali had some [[Crack|trouble]] when he was younger, very serious [[Prison|trouble]] indeed. These [http://www.breitbartunmasked.com/rogues-gallery/national-bloggers-club-founder-ali-akbar-convicted-felon/ experiences] both tested his character and revealed important [[Theft|skills]] he would rely on during his rapid advance in the political realm.

== National Bloggers Club ==
[[File:AliAkbarBillMurphyMeme.png|right|250px]]

Not one to be discouraged, [http://twitter.com/Ali @Ali] found [[God|god]] and turned his life around, founding the [http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014215800 National Bloggers Club] with the man who would later become Mitt Romney's social media director, [http://twitter.com/billmurphy @BillMurphy].

Things really started moving for the intrepid pair after Ali [[Blowjob|befriended]] none other than [[Karl_Rove|Karl Rove]]. The two men reportedly have an [http://legalschnauzer.blogspot.com/2012/06/karl-roves-bisexual-affair-might-have.html excellent working relationship] and the future looks bright for all parties.

Ali got billionaire Foster Friess (middle) to fund the National Bloggers Club. The man on the right is Robert Stacy McCain, a prominent [[Racist|conservative]] columnist who has been [http://www.splcenter.org/blog/2010/03/10/robert-stacy-mccain-and-the-washington-times/ honored] for his work on race relations.

[[File:AliAkbarFosterFriessRSMcCain.jpg|right|250px|Ali Akbar, Foster Friess and Robert Stacy McCain]]

[[File:AliAkbarKarlRoveEggKiss.jpeg|right|250px|]]
[[File:AliAkbarThongPose.png|right|250px]]
[[File:TedwilliamsDJ.jpg|thumb|right|Photo from the future]]

 
== 2012: Controversy & Chaos ==

However, Akbar's climb to conservative stardom has seen a [http://www.theliberalgrouch.com/2012/09/08/larry-sinclair-excretes-ali-akbar-wipes-drops-tissue-in-toilet-flushes/ number of ugly setbacks] during 2012, including a [http://www.theliberalgrouch.com/2012/09/06/sinclair-demands-full-refund-from-akbar-national-bloggers-club/ noisy dispute] with another leading conservative.

Most puzzling of all has been the focus on this seemingly innocent gaffe by Murphy.

 
[[File:BillMurphyRaceWar.png|400px|Bill Murphy shares a violent, paranoid race war fantasy]]

 
== A Solid Future ==

Despite the troubles Akbar has faced the future must be bright for a young man with such high powered contacts.

 

[[File:AliAkbarTimPawlenty.jpeg|400px|Ali Akbar & Tim Pawlenty]]

[[File:AliAkbarNewtGingrich.jpeg|400px| Ali Akbar & Newt Gingrich]]

[[Category: People|Akbar, Ali]]

== 2013: The Honeymoon's Over ==

Ali signed would-be [http://www.stopspending.com/about-curtis/ Congressman Curtis Bostic], word of his prior indiscretions quickly made its way to the [http://charleston.patch.com/articles/sc1-campaign-felon-doesn-t-work-for-us Charleston Patch] Akbar was quickly and publicly [[GTFO|shown the door]].

[[FIle:AliAkbar-CurtisBostic.png|400px| Ali Akbar Ejected From Bostic Campaign]]

==See Also==
*[[Pakis]]
*[[Cuckservative]]
*[[Gayniggers_from_Outer_Space|Gay Niggers]]
*[[Ugly]]

Two Worlds

2024-08-09T06:09:56Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long.

Two Worlds aka "Ari from Chicago" aka "Ariel Campos" aka "12 Herbs and Spices" is a [[goon]] and carefag best known for [[Assburgers|sperging out]] and being [[permabanned]] from the [[Something Awful]] forums.

Two Worlds was called out by [[Helldump]] multiple times, before its demise (RIP), for being an ultimate [[Assburgers|sperglord]]. He has a [[LiveJournal]] account where he discusses, in detail, his belief in the "Ariel Mythos." He actually believes that he is a character in a comic book and that he has multiple personas as part of the "Arielverse." He calls himself "two worlds" because he believes he is the only person who is able to exist in two forms, as an "Internet" person and a normal person. Normal people, of course, are people with no secrets or weird fetishes, they go to church, have 9 to 5 jobs and never use the Internet outside of basic things like [[email]].

The tale of his sperging was made epic after a group of SA [[goons]] on [[Skype]] recorded calls with Two Worlds where he cried over being called a carefag by a curvy [[goons|goonette]], went into detail about his then-girlfriend's stinky [[vagina]], talked about wanting to cross meat swords with Daniel Craig (no homo) and [[Micropenis|his small penis]]. The calls were made over several months in the summer of 2009 where Two Worlds spilled his guts for epic [[lulz]].

{{quote| MY NAME IS ARIEL ANTONIO CAMPOS JR, SON OF ARIEL ANTONIO CAMPOS SR, CHOSEN BY THE ONE TRUE CHRISTIAN GOD, ALUMNUS OF THE ROLLA HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 2001 AND THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI CLASS OF 2007, SOMETHING AWFUL GOON, REGISTERED IN 2003. LOYAL SERVANT TO THE TRUE LEADER OF THE SA FORUMS, RICH "LOWTAX" KYANKA. SON OF A DEADBEAT FATHER, BROTHER OF A DISGRACED SISTER...AND I WILL HAVE MY VENGENCE IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT.|Two Worlds}}

==The Arielverse==

The Arielverse, as described in Two World's [[LiveJournal]], is a series of [[comics]] written on Keystone Earth whose main character is Two Worlds. Within Two Worlds there are up to 6 [[fursona|personas]]. '''The Brute''', who is the sexual persona with deviant fetishes. '''The Tempest''', when Two Worlds is angry he becomes violent comotion of [[Assburgers|sperg]]. '''The Saint''' is when he is being a good Confessional Lutheran boy. '''Partyman''' once a single mixed drink is consumed he becomes the [[Assburgers|sperg]] of the party. '''The Puppetmaster''' is what he becomes when he's trying to hatch an evil scheme on someone. '''Mr. C''' is now presumed dead. This is his teaching persona that left him in the middle of class, resulting in a self described [[Harry Potter|dementor]] attack and why Two Worlds got fired from his first job as a teacher.

{{quote|One force canceling out the other. Even within me, even all my personas. The Saint counteracts the Brute. Mr. C counteracts the Partyman. The Puppetmaster counteracts the Tempest. Six personas, always the number six, and in the center...me.|Two Worlds' LiveJournal}}

This is also key to understanding the origin of why he calls himself Two Worlds. There are two distinct worlds in the Arielverse. There is '''Homo Lumen''' and '''Homo Cthoni''', Upper Worlders and Under Worlders. People who go to [[Walmart]], have a home, a car, 2.5 children, have [[job]]s, go to [[school]], be a normal person in society are Upper Worlders and don't use the [[Internet]]. He also believes that Upper Worlders don't know what true suffering is since their lives are so perfect and normal. Under Worlders are people who know [[Internet]] culture. Under Worlders are also the dregs of society like [[prostitutes]], [[goths]], [[Drug|drug dealers]], [[punks]] and other subcultures. They cannot have an Upper Worlder existance at all. Only Two Worlds can span both of these worlds, hence the name.

{{quote|That's what my life has always been about--contrast, and with it, conflict. Light and darkness. Good and evil. The eternal spiritual battle. I walk freely between the two worlds. And because of it...I consist entirely of opposites, always struggling within me.|Two Worlds' LiveJournal}}

Two Worlds will explain that he can be [[conservative]] and [[liberal]] at the same time, since he is of Two Worlds. Even in a discussion on [[gay]] marriage, he will use this excuse to illustrate how he is both for and against. Yet, he will become completely disgusted if anyone suggests that his sexuality and gender could be of a binary nature. Or even how pre-op [[transexual]] women would be perfect for him, since they too are stuck between two worlds.

Ariel believes that the authors of his life reside on Keystone Earth (real Earth). And every major event in his life has a particular author. Naturally, he refers to periods of his life as story arcs. Unpleasent experiences that happened in one story arc will be conveniently retconned. For example, he tried to hit on a [[retarded]] girl at a chess club meeting, that has now been retconned. One recent soon-to-be retconned experience is when he committed infedelity with a [[married]] [[pregnant]] [[woman]] while in the backseat of a truck being driven by another [[girl]].

Ariel believes that people in his life are nothing more than mere figments of his imagination, since we're on Earth-959 (imaginary Earth). He uses this as a shield for when people say hurtful things about him, and will remind them that they are only figments on his imagination and aren't even real.

Obviously, [[comic]] books play a big role in Ariel's creation of the Arielverse. [[X-men]] characters make frequent appearances in his life, as chronicled in his [[LiveJournal]]. During a break down as a teacher in front of his students, he started [[Crybaby|crying]] because the [[Harry Potter|dementors]] were attacking him and his 6th Persona (Mr. C) had left him, he made a quick call to Profressor Xavier. Normally Professor X brings Ariel the dream helm, but this time the [[X-Men]] were too busy due to a S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier being hijacked in Australia. Another time, Scott Summers (Cyclops of the X-men) was making small talk with Ariel outside the [[X-men]] mansion. Ariel recounted how even Scott Summers thought he was strange after the conversation.

Also he will write his own [[fanfiction]] in his [[LiveJournal]]. Once he wrote the story of him losing his [[virginity]] as told by his own students represented by a picture of [[Dakota Fanning]]:

{{quote|I guess u want to no more about Mr. Campos so I'll tell u about him lol :-p OMG so he got a gf now!! Yay! Me and Vanessa and Brooke r so happy for him! She haz red hair and is so pretty! We saw her 1nce during finals wk..she brought him lunch awwwww :) Mon of Finals Wk mr. Campos came in and he seemed sooooo happy and looked a lot better and told Veronica and me later on that he went on a date w a girl Fri!!! He still yelled at us sum during finals though :'( I havnt seen him since the last day of skewl but Graham McDunn said he saw Mr campos at his church and he said he wuz looking for a new job...i hope he gets one soon!! I wonder if he still has NE $$ left...mayB his gf is helping him. :) I kno he wuz working rly hard at lsa and may-b he doesnt have time to do much evn now like write or ne-thing...|Two Worlds' LiveJournal}}

90% of his [[LiveJournal]] has to do directly with The Arielverse. There are times when he writes about the Arielverse as though you're reading a [[Comic]] Book Trade magazine. A single [[LiveJournal]] entry was dedicated to interviewing people on Keystone Earth about how no one could believe that the authors were going to kill off the greatest [[comic]] book hero of all time. Some saw this as his [[suicide]] note. He has yet to complete the task.

Printouts of these [[LiveJournal]]s are kept with him. These are probably his most prized possessions. When he moved out of his [[mother]]'s house, the print outs needed to be moved as well. He instructed his family to cover every mirror in the house, including reflective surfaces like TVs. Afterwards, he instructed them to turn their backs to the house and not look until he gave the all clear. The printouts of his [[LiveJournal]] have the same power of the arc of the covenant. Even the [[comic]] book character The Watcher was present for the momentus event of Ariel moving the printouts and finally moving out of his [[mother]]'s house.

==Background==

Ariel Campos is a major momma's boy who grew up on the mean streets of Rolla, Missouri.
He was a crazy [[antisocial]] [[geek]] from a young age. He made a promise to himself in the 8th grade, after being sent to the principal's office for [[sexual harassment|sexually harassing]] girls, that he couldn't swear until he lost his [[virginity]] and couldn't cry until he had [[sex]]. He would replace swear words with other words like "fark" instead of [[fuck]], "ninja" instead of nigga or black person, kitty instead of the word [[pussy]], etc. There were some exceptions, such as being able to say "Go [[yiff]] in hell you fucking [[furfag]]." But the exceptions were pretty inconsistent.

He's known for his disgusting habits like never bathing, brushing his teeth, washing clothes, etc. He took not washing clothes to the extreme by having a dedicated "spank sock" that he never washed. He didn't see why you'd need to wash something that you only came in. This sock is still stored in a box at a relatives house, unwashed.

For a while he wished he was [[gay]]. He believes that all [[gay]] men are attractive and have lots of friends, and he'll have girls falling over him wanting to be his [[fag hag]]. But at the same time he is vehemontly against [[homosexuality]] and swears he is not [[gay]].

Although he claims to be in between the two worlds of the [[Internet]] and the real world, no one has more cross over between lives. Most people probably keep their [[Internet]] postings and general Internet shenanigans out of conversation with real life friends. Ariel does not do this. He talks about [[Something Awful]] on his [[Twitter]] and [[Facebook]]. He uses [[memes]] in real life. He even [[goatse]]d everyone on his [[Facebook]] once. Even when talking to regular people, not on the [[Internet]], he'll still use [[memes]] like "[[an hero]]," "[[tl;dr]]," :smug:, etc.

Some of his fetishes are publicly known, such as lactation [[porn]], [[BBW]], [[pregnant]] [[porn]], water sports, [[Loli|underdeveloped girls]], feet is a huge one, etc. The girl he lost his [[virginity]] to could have been mistaken for a Norse monster, but some women who are less [[fat]] he will refuse to date because he says that they waddle, and are thus "the bad type of [[fat]]." Even though he would love to [[piss]] on a girl, he would never let a woman [[piss]] on him because it would be disgusting. Another sensitive area for him is a girl who would touch below his [[balls]]. He firmly believes that if a girl touched his peckered [[asshole]] and he enjoyed it, he would be [[gay]].

He is known for constantly [[sexual harassment|sexually harassing]] women, especially non-Lutheran women. If a girl is non-Lutheran he has no problem asking them to make homegrown for his own personal enjoyment. When he's mad at you and you're a female he will threaten to [[masturbate]] to your photos, which he saves from [[Facebook]] and AwfulYearBook. This stems from his belief that only non-Lutheran women enjoy [[sex]]. On the other hand, Lutheran women derive no pleasure from the act and only like to knit, not being sarcastic.

For quite some time, he has bragged about his prowess as a drinker. In college, he would drink Smirnoff Ice. If anyone would call him out on this, he'd fill up a bottle with water and make everyone watch him slam it. Everyone knew he was drinking water. After college, he will brag about how he got completely trashed after drinking 3 cocktails, he thought that was a lot.

For good reason he has been described as the Gooniest [[Goon]] to have Gooned across the Gooniverse.

He has two siblings. His sister is a [[stripper]] that he believes was taken by body snatchers because he started to become attarcted to her.

He attended [[college]] for far too many years at University of Missouri — Rolla (now Missouri S&T) where he graduated with a degree in history and got his teaching certificate. He then moved to Decatur, Illinois to teach at a Lutheran private high school.

As a teacher, Two Worlds was a complete [[failure]] — much like everything in his life. He would often be easily overpowered by his students and lose complete control of the class. Even a class of two students he couldn't control. This was probably because they knew he was a loser 25-year-old [[virgin]] [[Assburgers|speglord]]. In the end, some of the students who actually wanted to learn complained and his [[Pwnt|contract was not renewed]].

So now that he was unemployed, he got to spend even more time on the Internet and somehow landed a [[hambeast]] of a [[girlfriend]]. This beast named Katie actually had [[sex]] with him, of course, he didn't consider he actually lost his [[virginity]] until the third time they "made love" because he hadn't [[cum|came]] before then. This is because he has a condition called Phimosis where his [[dick]] is entrapped in his [[foreskin]], it's about 3 inches long when hard and Katie's [[vagina]] was a cavernous wreck. They would stick various household objects into her, such as cellphones, salt shakers, remote controls, etc. Not to mention the putrid stench that came from her pussy he described was akin to "opening the tombs of the Pharaohs. WHOOOSH!!"

The moment he actually lost his [[virginity]] was difficult for him to determin. He didn't count the first 4 times they had [[sex]] since he didn't [[cum]] or they didn't both cum. He was having problems staying hard. He believed that [[pussy]] juices had numbing agents in them. On the 5th try, he jacked himself off and stuck his [[dick]] inside her the moment he came. He let out a long awaited "fuck," which he immediately posted on Facebook. He also called people from middle school who didn't remember who the fuck he was to tell them he had mated with a woman.

{{quote|Ariel Campos: I'm not sure if you remember me, but I went to high school with you. I was in your 6th hour Math Study Hall with you in Mrs. Freese's class. 10 years ago I swore an oath that if the moment I lost my virginity, you'd be the first to know. That moment has happened now. Fuck. Spread the word.

Rich *****: Holy shit... are you for real?|Two Worlds' LiveJournal}}

Katie told him she had [[sex]] with eleven guys before him but he refused to wear a [[condom]] when having sex with her. He believed he wouldn't get an [[STD]] because she was infertile and he was scared someone might see him buy condoms and he would be mortally embarassed. He was also conerned about finding condoms in a small enough size. He refused to get tested for STDs as well. He fears that a nurse or doctor will tell someone at his church and he will be shunned by upper worlders.

He loves for people to give him advice but he never takes it, only getting himself into constantly worse situations and then [[crybaby|crying]] like a baby when shit hits the fan.

Eventually, Katie dumped him and he got a job as a [[fail|pizza delivery boy]]. Now he works at a library.

Although Two Worlds clearly has mental problems, he has only visited a therapist a few times. Normally he would skip appointments and never tell the therapist what was truly bothering him. Two Worlds said that the therapist was an upper worlder and would never understand the problems of the underworld, much less be able to help someone who could cross both worlds. After a short period of time, the therapist didn't think he could provide any help and referred Two Worlds to an actual psychiatrist. After one visit he never went back because it required getting a blood test done before any medication could be perscribed. He compares his insanity to having a cold and thinks he's getting better.

<center><youtube>egdnhVxEeyM</youtube></center>
<center>'''Two Worlds thinks he's the best dancer ever. Watch the end to see him throw up the Two Worlds gang sign'''</center>

==Something Awful Career==

Before being [[permabanned]] for being [[creepy]], Two Worlds was a proud member of [[Something Awful]]. He took his posting career very [[seriously]], to the point of calling out [[Helldump]] and challenging them. He called himself the defender of GBS and [[goons]].

{{quote| I am Ariel Campos. I am a fighter. I am a gladiator. I stood before the arena of Helldump, and posted.| Two Worlds}}

This resulted in many [[lulz]] and several call out [[threads]] where Helldumpers tore apart his [[LiveJournal]] and exposed him.

He went to Goon Meets where he proved to be the most awkward goon in a sea of awkwardness. When he was at a Chicago goon meet, he just jumped into a taxi at a stop light instead of flagging them down because "that's how they do it in [[GTA]] 4."

A set of [[goons]] that pitied him invited him to their Thanksgiving meal. They took him to a club where he preceded to make a "two worlds" symbol with his hands in every photograph (a peace sign on one hand, three fingers up for W on the other).

{{quote| [[Lowtax]] had a dream that was Something Awful. This is not it. This is not it!| Two Worlds}}

Two Worlds discusses his [[Helldump]] post in his [[LiveJournal]]:

{{squote| After I came back from my extended posting hiatus--this was right around the beginning of the fall--Helldump had apparently grown antsy. With a dearth of callout subjects and with the Forums search function perpetually broken and being worked on, Helldump was a beast tired of being caged, and tired of being fed morsels. A few of the Helldump superstars such as nationalism, Deek, Dirty Rob, and a few others began staging trolling attacks in various GBS threads, threadsh*tting by derailing, fakeposting, etc. A few hapless GBS posters took the bait, which the Helldumpers then crowed triumphantly over in the goons.txt thread in Helldump. For some reason, this really angered me. So much so, that I felt it was my duty to the Forums to also start posting in those same threads in GBS, hoping I could call the Helldumpers out for the trolls they are and attempt to yell them down. For their part, the Helldumpers were ecstatic to see me posting in there, finding that in putting down the bait for the little fish, instead they had hooked a big fish, and were now reeling it all the way in.

I think, perhaps, that my downward slide into paranoid obsession started when I started to see myself as the "lone protector" of GBS and of goonkind in general--I was a vigilante, a crusader, a legionaire, a gladiator, fighting to defend the great, embattled Goon Empire against the barbarian threats from within its walls. Consider, for instance, this reply that I made, when one Helldumper asked me the very same question--why should I see myself as some kind of legendary goon hero?

"Because I'm the hero the SA Forums deserve...but not the one it needs right now. So Helldump will hunt me. Because I can take it. Because I'm not a hero. I'm the voice of the people...the exhorter...a white knight."

To this end, I decided to take the battle to the enemy, and make them an offer they couldn't refuse:

Helldump,
You hate goons. You know that. I know that. You hate everything that is "goony", which for you is EVERY part of the Forums, and every person that has ever posted on the Forums that is not you. Coincidentally, this is the same m.o. as SASS, the Something Awful Syncophant Squad. THEY hate everything that is goony too. Yet, somehow, you continue to exist on the Forums, while they do not. A goon is someone who posts on the SA Forums. That makes YOU, Helldump, a goon by definition.

So I'm issuing an open challenge to you, all you Helldump Superstars. Some of you I know more personally than others, and I'm speaking more to the Helldumpers who I don't know on a personal level. If you do hate goons so much, and if you do despise SA Forums posters, then put your money where your mouth is--ban yourselves and go join your SASS compatriots. You constantly decry goons, and you still post on the same forums as us. You're being cowards and hypocrites by being on here, so do us all a favor, and quit taking up server space. You bash goons for being wimps and chickening out, so here's your chance to prove us wrong. Grow some balls, and ban yourselves.

P.S. If this thread isn't okay with the mods/admins go ahead and close it, that's fine with me. This will most likely end up being a weekend diversion, and come Monday I've got "real" stuff to do (work and everything), so after Sunday afternoon or so I'll probably abandon it. I'll leave it to the discretion of The Powers That Be whether this thread should stick around. Just don't ban or probate me please|Two Worlds}}

Two Worlds was finally [[permabanned]] by mod Aybraham in his own [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3188411 mod challenge thread.] Two Worlds begged the mod to allow him to enter the "Goon Love is the Best Love" challenge where goons went on dates with other goons. Because it was after the event had started, Aybraham gave Two Worlds his own thread with his own challenge to go on a date and post results or risk getting [[banned]]. If he won, he would have gained [[trolling]] immunity and Ayb said he would apologize for not believing in the Arielverse.

In the end, it was not a lack of completing the challenge the [[permabanned]] him. A damning essay written by one of the [[goons]] from [[Skype]] about Ariel's level of insanity got him banned for being Two Worlds.

{{quote| ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? IS IT NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?|Two Worlds}}

Recently, an account registered on the forums as "12 Herbs and Spices" and posted a single thread in Ask/Tell entitled: [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3255986 "Tell me about Phimosis: A weird [[penis]] problem"]. This thread is believed to be Two Worlds or an impersonator who sounds a hell of a lot like him. The account posted pictures of Two Worlds' [[penis]] and talked about the many problems he has.

{{quote|I'm not a goon anymore. I'm an Internets ronin. I serve no master, and no Internet e-tribe like the goons, or the Channers, or the EDiots, or the Redditors, or the Diggers, or the YTMNDers, or the Wikipedians, or the Deviants, or the furries. I am simply Two Worlds. I wander the Internets endlessly, and am bound to no rules confining any of the e-tribes."|Two Worlds}}

==The Brute==
[[Image:Twoworlds-847.jpg|thumb]]
{{squote|It wasn't the first time. Lately at the movie theater I've been having what I call "Brute attacks". There are times when I'm just standing around at concession, and then I start looking at the girls I work with, and all of a sudden all I can think of is sexual stuff, like mentally undressing, and thinking about porn, and stuff like that. It's like the Brute has found some way to hack into my brain, and it's like...he sends me all these thoughts, these mental images. When I'm under these Brute attacks it's like all I can think of is sex and porn--like the Brute has taken control of my mind. I feel short of breath, my heart starts beating faster. The very act of trying to think about something else brings these images into my mind only faster. I dunno, maybe it's because the only time I've been able to interact with girls has been at the movie theater, but sometimes these Brute attacks come on pretty strong.

And when I saw Sally ***** that was one of those Brute attacks. All I could think of was the deep red shade of lipstick she was wearing, the almost-sheer fabric of her blouse, her stiletto heels on her boots...even as I continued to set-up for the next show I felt the Brute starting to take over. I tried to keep my mouth shut, of course. I didn't want anyone else to know--least of all Sally--that I was starting to become attracted to her. And yet somehow words still fell out of my mouth, and I felt myself talking to Sally-"Hey, I never saw you wear makeup before. You look pretty good in it" "So are those boots, or are they high heels?" "You should try painting your nails sometime" Sally, for her own part, was pretty oblivious, fortunately. Somehow we got through the first show, as people started piling in. We got swamped pretty badly.But after the show the Brute attacks started coming on pretty intensely again. The images that the Brute was sending me...the thoughts...|Two Worlds' LiveJournal}}

==Selected LiveJournal Quotes==

===Two Worlds Loses His Virginity===

{{squote|That's what it really felt like--literally diving in. I felt like I was launching myself head first into Katie's mouth-- metaphorically speaking. I felt like I was jumping into a place that I had no idea where I was going to--someplace far, far away from anywhere I had known before, except in movies, or books, or comics, or porn.

Kissing became tongue-kissing. Tongue-kissing became making out, then heavily making out, then groping atclothes. No matter how frantic the on-screen characters became, the story here was more interesting to me.

"Do you wanna...just, uh, forget about the movie..."

"Uh-huh."

"...and go to my bedroom instead?"

"Sure."

It just crept up on me, just like that. The "big moment", everything that I had been waiting and preparing for, just...happened. I didn't have time to think about it--I think if I did have time I would've choked up or chickened out or got really freaked out. I didn't have time to think about it.

The thing that made me realize that Katie was such a keeper was that she was so understanding and accomodating about a lot of stuff. She understood that I hadn't ever done anything with a girl before (even kissed a girl), and she was fine with that. That's the thing that made Katie so unique from every other girl I had known--she wanted me. Even if that meant putting up with a lot of my shortcomings, lack of experience, etc.

We reached for each other in the dark of my room.

"You can take off my shirt if you want..."

"Oh. I didn't know, uh, if you minded."

"Sure."

A few more moments passed.

"Oh...man....fark..."

"It's okay. Take your time."

"Sorry, I just..."

"It's okay." She gasped rapidly. "We can do whatever you'd like tonight."

It wasn't more than what I had expected, or less than I had expected. It was just...it. It wasn't un-pleasant. In fact, I couldn't have asked for a better girl to be understanding enough for a 26 year old guy that all this was happening to at once. It was mind-boggling to me, that's why I tried not to think about it too much. One moment I was just letting Katie in, next I was making out with a girl for the first time, and the next...

"Oh...f*ck..." her words grew softer as her breathing grew faster. I didn't want to look around, or think about how rediculous I looked without any clothes on, or even think about why Katie would want to do anything with a guy that looked as hideous naked as I did. I didn't want to see myself now. I repeated this to Katie out loud when she wanted to embrace in front of the mirror afterwards, when I was washing my hands. I didn't want to think about that now. I only wanted to concentrate on matching her breathing to my own rhythm. The more I coordinated with her, the louder her breathing grew, which then turned into moans, and then louder moans.

Some time later...

Again, I had her in my grasp. I was on top of her, trying only to look at her face, trying to look only at her reaction to me, not thinking of my own appearance in my eyes at that point. I was on her, her legs planted in back of me, my legs stock-straight next to each other. She told me to spread my legs less, that way I could go in more. I sucked air in one more time, then expelled it in one big exhalation. And collapsed on her, spent.

I looked up at her (she was tall) and smiled. She smiled back softly. I looked skyward for a second, and chuckled quietly, a secret smile appearing on my face in the dark.

"Fuck."|Two Worlds}}

===Spreading The Word===

Two Worlds also wrote about how he spread the word to his friends about losing his virginity. He wrote his own fanfiction about part of it. Although I suspect the first two are true.

{{quote|Between Travis ****** and you

Ariel Campos: Can't find your phone number, so I'll let you know this way...4 years ago I swore to you that once I lost my virginity you'd be the first to know...fuck. It happened. Spread the word.

Travis ******: So I heard...|Two Worlds|Facebook}}

{{quote|Between Rich ***** and you

Ariel Campos: I'm not sure if you remember me, but I went to high school with you. I was in your 6th hour Math Study Hall with you in Mrs. Freese's class. 10 years ago I swore an oath that if the moment I lost my virginity, you'd be the first to know. That moment has happened now. Fuck. Spread the word.

Rich Frederick: Holy shit... are you for real?|Two Worlds|Facebook}}

{{quote|Rolla. JCPenny Hair Salon

Ashley was just locking up the salon for the night when she got the text from her friend Martha. Summer days were always more busy at the salon--more customers looking for ways to beat the humidity and heat with a great hairstyle. She was glad she could lend her expertise, and even better, she had church tomorrow night at First Baptist. Maybe that's why Martha was texting her. She opened her cellphone to read the message, and screamed--partially from disgust and partially from interest.

"MARTHA! THAT'S DISGUSTING, WHY DID HE TELL PEOPLE THAT?!"|Two Worlds|LiveJournal}}

===The Inner Helldump In His Head===

{{squote|All this happened, once again, over the course of several days, about a week. It was a lot like during my first, and biggest, callout. I'd go off to work during the day and put on a semblance of normalcy, but inside I'd be struggling about Helldump's poisonous words. I was a horrible teacher. I was a creepy teacher. My students are all laughing at me. I'm unfixably broken. I'm repulsive to girls. I'll never be able to fit in. Throughout church, school, Holy Smokes meetings, Wal-Mart runs, and the occasional outing to Katz', the local slightly upscale martini bar, I could hear the "inner Helldump"--the same one that had followed me through junior high, high school, college, and beyond. I had Helldump down pat, even before Helldump was created:

"You saw how Lisa didn't return your smile. Look at how mad she looks. You know she's been getting complaints from parents about you."

"Have you noticed that none of the other high school teachers have started conversations with you recently? They haven't even said hi. They're backing off, they know a teacher that's going to get the ax when they see one."

"See how Daryl and Michael looked at you when you made that basketball joke? They know you don't know what you're talking about. They know you're just begging for acceptance. They don't like it. They're annoyed by you. You know it's true."

"That bartender gave you that snide look. Don't pretend like you didn't see it. And those girls--look at how they're pretending to look right through you. Like you're not even there. They don't see you, because you don't matter. They're all laughing at you."

"They're laughing at you."

"They're laughing at you."

"They're laughing at you."|Two Worlds|LiveJournal}}

==Links==
[http://tindeck.com/users/lcbuli The Two Worlds Tapes]

[http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3255986 Two Worlds' Phimosis Thread]

[http://twoworldsin1.livejournal.com/ TwoWorlds' LiveJournal - Friends only]

[http://www.facebook.com/twoworlds TwoWorlds' Facebook]

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egdnhVxEeyM TwoWorlds' Dancing at a Club]

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRFVu1R-uNA Second video of him dancing]

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zctBrLr6GVM Third video of him dancing]

[[Two_Worlds/Arbchat|Arbchat]]

[[Two_Worlds/chat|Chat]]

[[Category:People]]

Teen Hut

2024-08-09T06:08:23Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long.

{{nobodies}}
[[Image:Teenhut Logo.jpg|center|500px]]

'''Teenhut''' is a pit of [[Faggots|emo tweenies]] run by a frothing, twitching, profiteering [[Indian]] of a despot with a hairtrigger on his [[Banhammer|banhammer]]. So sort of like [[Something Awful]], then.

The site is pretty much devoid of lulz, the exception being that its reptilian overlords have discovered this page and are now crying the [[BAWWWWW|tears of ultimate sadness]] and RAAAAAAGE.

== The Dictatorship ==
<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|th1|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|How about I follow what was written about me.. And ban everyone who posted here?|Matt the mod, after finding this article
|BAN FUCKING EVERYONE!|Mattster the mod, after banning Aunt Jemima for contributing to this article
|We dont know [Mattster sucks as a mod], but we do know that you SUCK as a member. And that IS a fact!|Mayank, giving a very good reason for infracting a member for saying Mattster sucks as a mod
|I can give you an infraction for no reason like I did to nike a while back|Phuck Buddy, a long-time mod, also with a habit of handing out punishments just because|}}|border=black|background=white}}</center>

One of the requirements to become a mod in Teenhut is to be a [[Dane Cook|raging homosexual]] or to at least look like a raging homosexual. The only person that has ever been exempt from this rule is Matt, who e-dates his girlfriend Lana on Teenhut and quite often when they have fights they like to share it with the public by making several topics and whining about it on the cafe.
[[Image:Tubgirl.jpg|thumb| A typical mod's reaction to this article.]]
The mods of Teen Hut have a long history of bias and prejudice that could rival the US Supreme Court of the early 1900's. It is well-known amongst users with their heads not so far up their asses they can see the light through their own ears that the staff is quite content to hand out infractions for whatever they decide to whomever they decide. Many a time have infractions been given to a user as the mod from whom it came breaks the exact same rule while doing so. Quite happy to call members trolls or any other insult they can muster up, they get hard-ons from handing out infraction after infraction after infraction to others for the same thing. This practice, of course, applies only to those that haven't kissed so much ass that said ass cheeks now have permanent lip marks.

The majority of the members are between the ages of [[13 year old boys|9 to 14]], although they claim to be older than that. It's common knowledge that in order to even have a small chance to apply as a mod you must send nudes to overlord, dictator, and supreme leader, [[Pedophile|Mayank]]. It is well-documented that Mayank asks for pics from everything with a vagina, despite their age. This, of course, leads many to take note of his internet predator-like behaviours, but that's neither here nor there.

The mod's hobby is to be biased.

===Mayank===

<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|th2|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|There should not be a single post linking to ED site or posting of any screenshot. Anyone doing that will be punished severely. I dont want any mention of that pathetic site on here anymore!|Mayank, after getting butthurt from seeing this page and failing at erasing its content.
|i dont think he liked the part about curry|Someone, after reading Mayanks censorship quote above.
|I hope you enjoy the fact that you've been owned by a paki and her bitch|Lana, after sending Mattster to ban Aunt Jemima.|}}|border=black|background=white}}</center>

An Indian Microsoft tech support specialist by day, the forum owner by night. Sadly, he's the only person in the staff who makes sense. Though pressured 24-7 by the mods to BAN FUCKING EVERYTHING, he still shows fair judgment whenever he can manage to bury down deep and find a set of balls. After allowing a mod who constantly insulted those who died during 9/11 to parade around with his dick out but then infracted and banned those that spoke out against it, Mayank insists he behaves fairly and has deluded himself into thinking the world is a better place with his shit in the sewer system. After stating that she would be a better mod than the infamous bitchcunt Mattster, a user was infracted for "spamming" in a thread discussing Mattster's modding abilities. That's right, kids, disagreeing with the overlords is bad. No one is quite sure what specific type of parasites have been eating Mayank's brains for the past year or so, but it appears to be taking its toll.

=== The Mod List ===
'''Mattster-''' A socially inept basement dweller that dates his e-[[girlfriend]] Lana. He can not stand when people disagree with Lana so it's a banhammer the minute you speak against his queen of drama. Naturally, of course, despite however much Lana may abuse the other members, she never has more to deal with than Matt's PMSing bitchiness and blatant idiocy. He is always ready to ban someone for nothing. He is worse than the mods at [[GameFAQs]]. When he heard about this article he tried to [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING]]. Too bad his retarded mongoloid ass can't comprehend that you need an account to edit things. Matt is actually the first mentally [[retarded]] member of Teen Hut. His logic and reasoning abilities only just barely rival those of a squirrel with Down Syndrome. He thinks that an insult anywhere is an insult to him, so he strokes his e-dick to make himself feel better. Mattser hates to be called [[emo]] even though he cuts himself because his girl friend is a thundercunt. Mattster, though no longer with Lana, has decided to step up his faggotry by becoming a fan of [[Blood on the Dance Floor]] and e-dating the lazy-eyed retard, Heather. Since then, Heather has broken up with Mattster after Matt forgot to turn his webcam off and was caught trying to fuck his Xbox 360.

'''Kevin''' Kevin is the sarcastic faggot of Teenhut. He thinks he is the motherfucker there. He really just wants to be fucked by 13 year old ugly fat chicks. He frequents the Forum Games section because he is boring as fuck. He has a 2 girls 1 cup fetish. He loves to give people empathy even though they don't deserve it. His fantasy is to be fucked by Mattser, Owen, and Trevor and then to have them jizz all over his face.

'''Linda''' Linda is Teen Hut's own little [[slut|hot]] [[Kike|Jewish girl]]. She posts half-nude pictures in the 16+ forum then goes as far as to get members perma-banned from there for joking about jacking off to her pictures, which is just one of many examples of her innate Jew greed causing her to strive to get what she wants. Her greed level climbed to [[over 9,000]] when she was accepted as a trainee mod. Now [[BDSM|anything Linda wants, Linda gets.]] She was demodded temporarily after being caught abusing her powers, but reportedly gave Mayank one piece of her Jew gold to get her spot on the team back. Since then she has improved drastically as a moderator, but that's only because she's too busy fingering her dog's asshole to give out infractions.

'''Heather''' is the [[ugly|lazy-eyed]] whore moderator on Teenhut. She is known for "leaving" Teenhut very frequently, then "coming back" two days later. This is understandable though as Heather is legally [[retard|retarded.]] Heather is also known for having e-dated [[over 9000]] guys from Teenhut, including [[Blood on the Dance Floor|Mattster]] and [[virgin|Jordan132]].

'''James''' is the token [[ugly]] moderator who is no longer active but still has a moderator title because Mattster is too busy trying to find someone else to order his food for him in order to bother demodding him.

=== Support Leaders ===
Seeing as how the ostracized socially inept 14 year olds feel that [[Internet_is_serious_business|teh internetz is srs bzness]] they very often try to share their maturity, age experience, and broad view of the world with others by attempting to give advice in topics such as friendship and relationship help, even though they've yet to experience their first kiss due to the fact that they're too busy masturbating at the pictures the camwhores post in the cafe. Generally, however, these attempts result in such idiocy that anyone dumb enough to make the mistake of taking the advice offered by a Support Leader will end up killing themselves after fucking everything over.

'''Stjowa''' An extremely obese kid who literally sucked so much dick to become a Support leader that to this day cum still oozes out of his left ear. He begged because he didn't want to be without his zombie anemic girlfriend who was one. He looks like a constipated fat kid and has a fetish for police officers. His posting habits consist of posting the same old shit over and over. Then when told it's old he throws a bitch fit and calls the bringing of reality a troll. How this luster fuck of obesity and fail ever managed to become a support leader is unknown. It is also unknown when, exactly, he plans on hitting puberty, since at this point, he still looks twelve. No one, however, expects his mind to follow in the footsteps of his body, if such a thing ever does occur.

'''DareToDream''' Stjowa's anemic girlfriend. She looks like a bowling pin with red hair and no body. She tries to help but all she does is suck Stjowa's dick literally. Many still to this day wonder how that fat bastard managed to get on her not crush his skeletor look-a-like girlfriend. She can't really think for her self so whatever Stjowa says that bitch follows to a tee. Together they run a game called psychopath. The object of the game is to kiss their ass so that you can stay for another round. She frequents the Teen Sexuality board. She gets off on hearing boys talk about how they have huge dicks. She cries at night because she has to funnel Obese boy's hot dog.

==Teen Hut History==
In the beginning there was Mayank, but since he's Indian, he ate too much curry and had indigestion so he decided to go to the bathroom while the splurring of digested shit came out so did a little boy called Matthew as well as a weird obese looking kid who Mayank later named Jon. These are the now super mods.

Shortly after this, an unbelievable mod named Trevor joined. You see, Trevor had a rough childhood growing up. His dad lost his second job which cut the family income to only 10 million dollars a year. Trevor, devastated by the fact that he'd no longer be able to take a private jet to school, decided to do something about it. He joined the TeenHut forum and instantly became the number 1 bona-fide emofag. Eventually, Trevor was deemed homosexual enough to be a TeenHut mod. Trevor, however, still didn't feel accepted despite being inducted into GLAAD. (the mod team) Trevor, knowing that most people still hated him and were only nice because being mean would be a hate crime, decided he wanted to make some real friends, or at least pretend he had them. He very generously bought multiple people an Ultimate VIP membership in a hope that they would be friends with him. No one really likes him anyway, but are nice in the hopes of getting free shit off the spoiled 13 year old fagfuck.

===The Revolution of 2009===
After much unfair treatment from the staff of 13-year-old, prepubescent, power-filled kids, some decided to fight the power and go against everything that the mods ever said. There were tons of lulz had, mainly due to the stupid responses that followed upon calling a member of the staff team "Biased".

The response of the staff was as always, BAN FUCKING EVERYONE, and this ended in at least 100 banned members, all followers of the great prophet Aunt Jemima. To this day the small fighters of the revolution fight for freedom from the tyranny that is the staff team.

==Failtrolls==
'''Liran''' is the openly [[homosexual]] [[Jewish]] member of the forum. He is widely known for calling other members pathetic all the whilst attempting to sext with them. He also loves to point out other people's insecurities and confidence problems, despite making such confident threads such as "Am I fat?" and "My parents abused me! Help please." Liran also has a serious [[attention whore|problem]] leaving the forums, despite claiming to not be addicted to them. His inability even led to him making [[over 9000]] threads asking the moderators to ban him so he could leave. Despite the moderators not complying, Liran managed to leave for an entire 36 hours before making his triumphant return! He is now widely regarded as the biggest [[faggot]] on the forum.

[[Image:41dYM.gif|frame|center|Liran, whilst viewing naked men via webcam.]]

'''Baldur''' is the typical chronically butthurt and angry at the world homosexual [[terrorism|muslim]] (no, seriously.)He has been known for being so offended at being called a terrorist, that he will threaten to blow people's houses up on spot. He too, possesses a direct inability to leave the forum, repeatedly making "leaving" threads, only to return a week later under a new name before being discovered when a moderator stops sucking cock for a minute to look at his IP address.

==Trolls==
[[Image:Lanaemo.jpg|thumb|right|Lana, Matt's emo counterpart.]]
'''Aunt Jemima''' (known [[IRL]] as '''German Gomez''') The troll of all trolls on the TeenHut forums. Just like all trolls, he drops the F-bomb in just about every other sentence. This is a pathetic attempt to make him appear "t0tally hardc0ar on teh interwebz." His most profound traits are putting others down (cuz he is teh r0x0rz n iz flawlezz), and replying to threads saying "Great, another thread nobody gives a fuk about" because he can now speak on behalf of over 6 billion people. /lolsarcasm

Everyone, including you, want to ban Aunt Jemima permanently because he has made over 9000 hermaphrodites, homosexuals, retards, sensitive fags, oldfags, newfags, girls, women, men, children, and infants leave the website due to his usual bad habit of speaking what's on his mind, instead of shoving it up his ass hole and spewing rainbows and fairies like the other closeted members do.

'''Most Vicious Pitbull''' The closet virgin troll. His daily routine consists of [[lies|putting his "peepee" into random whores' vaginas and cumming inside of them]], then posting threads bragging about the dream that never was. No matter what he posts, he never seems to get banned; instead, his infractions just redirect to Aunt Jemima faster than TeenHut's shitforbrains server redirects Non-Believers. He changed his name to ANTI CONDOM due to an alleged ex stalking him on the internet. He also shows a deep hatred for condoms, most likely due to the fact that a failed one led to his birth. He is, though, as he puts it, loved by few, hated by many, but [[USI|respected by all]].

'''LOLFag''' has actually become a fag. He's recently morphed into a Sasha-wannabe, and can quite often be observed competing with Mayank for Sasha's dick. He thinks just because he lives in Taiwan he's better than everyone else, especially Americans, even though it's obvious Americans are better than chinks. He was once a prominent and well-respected contributor to the debates section, but has since floundered and been reduced to nothing but a raving, illogical moron. He believes the of raping innocent women is horrendous, but someone jumping out of a building to avoid being burned alive and falling to their death is humourous. Truly a sad, pathetic little bastard.

'''Aleksandr''' is a [[Basement-dweller|socially inept]] [[Neckbeard|neckbeard]] who spends most of his time [[Gaymer|in front of the computer]] whilst saying the most [[Fucktard|idiotic things imaginable]]. Known details regarding this pathetic life form are few, but given the fact that he has been infracted [[Over_9,000|over 9,000]] times by Sasha, we can at least confirm that he/she/it originates from [[America]]. Aleksandr is also confirmed for [[Furfag|furry]] and has a [[Sick_Fuck|male foot fetish]]. He pretends to be [[1337|computer-savvy]] to impress people in the Computers&Internet section, and likes to show off his pricey [[Computer|gayman PC]] which was actually purchased for him by his [[Parents|mommy and daddy]].

'''Rob (Ari Gold)''' takes the roll of teen hut's oppressed eccentric [[fag|faggot]] who is mad at the world. Rob joined the forums in march 2009 . He maintained a low profile until his [[rage|ego]] got the best of him, resulting in multiple out lashes of rage and hate for many non-heterosexual; nonwhite forum members. He is a self proclaimed [[racist]] from a formally successful family.

[[File:Juliateenhut.jpg|thumb|right|Julia - I'm an attention whore.]]
Rob has somewhat private forum presence, only occasionally making extravagant shit up to sound important. Coming from a (formally rich) white trash home this is to be expected. He brags about his love for hockey, his favorite [[emo|bands]] and his off humor racist remarks at school. However through all this rob as assembled a following on this forum, namely his lovers, Kris and Julia. His [[Bromance|relationship]] with kris is completely [[gay|heterosexual]]. His e-relationship with Julia is where it gets depressing, he has managed to convince himself that she is white, and just has a really nice [[mexican|tan]].

===Sasha/Guess Who!?/Sash===
The founder and former co-admin of Teenhut, Sasha was once a prominent parasite of the online community. He was born in 1940 in Soviet Russia to an American father who fled America to escape its horrific culture, fat citizenry, and over-the-top military rape statistics; and to a Jewish mother from Iran. No further information is available on her because no one cares. As with most members of Sasha’s family, she’s been safely phased out of society. His father is still at large, however, and is featured on the FBI’s Most Wanted List under the alias of Usama bin Laden.

Sasha’s obsession and hatred for America and American culture is somewhat of a mystery, but intelligence suggests he’s simply an irrational, ignorant, delusional lunatic. While no scientific journal will back this claim, the evidence of thread-locking, editing/deleting posts, banning members and handing out infractions when his point is proven wrong or his e-credibility called into question is compelling.

[[File:Guesswho.png|thumb|right|Some may wonder how Sasha is able to see through the paper bag, but then we are reminded that Europeans possess godlike powers of telepathy, unlike those stupid inept Americans who still use eyesight; albeit only to find the nearest McDonalds'.]]

There is also convincing evidence of Sasha’s half-brother, Dwayne, who was born to Sasha’s father but with an American woman (identity unknown, but satellite evidence suggests Betty Ford), used to beat the shit out of Sasha when they were kids and steal his lunch money. In America, it’s typical for ''other'' kids to beat up the loser and steal his lunch money, but in Soviet Russia apparently even your own family partakes in it. Russia is indeed a strange place. Many prestigious international documentaries on Sasha’s life cite this as why Sasha has such disgust for Americans and why he commonly refers to them as uncivilized “savages”.

In response to his exaggerated abuse, Sasha promptly joined the USSR military to prove to his brother, father and the world that he was truly a man. This failed before it could even start, but it didn’t stop him from fighting on the frontlines against Nazi Germany, of which he single-handedly defeated the Nazis, despite the American, British, Canadian and other countries’ involvement in the war, and subsequently was promoted to the rank of Captain. Of course, years later the USSR collapsed and this accolade, along with the nation he so valiantly fought for, became worthless. He participated in a brief stint in the airforce, but after getting his ass handed to him several times by the Luftwaffe, he was dishonourably discharged.

After his failure in the military, Sasha traveled to England to study at the University of Oxford, studying in an unprecedented triple-major of Medicine, Languages and Anti-American Relations. His favourite professor, G.B. Shaw, saw the potential in this young idealist, and suggested he create an online forum under the pretense of helping young teens, but in truth using it as a vessel to express and take out his anger and hatred for America. It was here, too, he met his wife known as Virgo Monkey, for which he fell deeply in love with, but later had to divorce due to slight, minor political differences. The are also rumours of a sex tape between the two, but its sales were so dismal it failed to garner any public attention. Those who have seen it say its failure is because of the 66 minute video, 3 of them are of sex, and the remainder is of Sasha crying. Recently, due to its cult status, the video has become a hit on Google Video.

While studying in his languages courses, Sasha has become fluent in 42 languages but most notably in Russian, French, English, German, Cantonese, Malay, Hindi, Thai and Arabic. Those who only know English should feel inferior to such an intellect, as such unsophisticated and uncultured Anglo-Saxon mongolots know nothing of diversity or worldliness.

Sasha knew with his superior education, world travels and overall knowledge, he could easily beat any 14 year old in a debate, despite being nearly a decade older. He then proceeded to create Teenhut and set about his task. He even used a swastika as his avatar in hopes of goading young teens into thinking he was a Nazi sympathizer, just so he could shoot them down and declare his superiority over the inferior, ignorant and uneducated Americans and their WASP-compatriots (this usually included Canadians and Brits) and to inflate his own ego. It is well documented every time he beats a 14 year old in a debate he lies back in his chair, puts on some lipstick and listens to ''Goodbye Horses'' by Q Lazzarus for approximately 90 minutes ‡.

While spewing his ignorance online, he '''randomly bolds words''' and sentences in case the reader can’t see his or her computer monitor well enough. He is also in the habit of twisting words, taking pot-shots at members, and making really stupid, dumbass comparisons. Somewhat ironically, if he’s at the receiving end of a pot-shot or sly insult, he begins to cry like a 12 year old deprived of her chocolate milk (and will probably delete your post and/or infract you).

Sasha has never traveled to the United States, his claims notwithstanding. Instead, Sasha derives his insurmountable and exhaustive knowledge of America, its culture, its practices and its people through telepathy, carrier pigeons, tarot cards and most recently, Ask Jeeves. It’s obvious his knowledge of America is far greater than even its own citizens, and it’s clear that we, as a species, simply cannot compete with such a superior force in knowledge. He is after all the self-proclaimed Protector of Mankind.

Although [[newfags|many]] believe [[And_nothing_of_value_was_lost|Sasha left Teenhut]], he remains, as [[Samefag|both]] '''Guess Who!?''' the [[Admin|Super Moderator]] and '''Sash''' the regular member. As of late, Sash has taken to creating numerous troll threads to goad Americans into arguing with him, whom he then [[censorship|infracts]] using the Guess Who!? account.

Sasha pretends to be a [[moralfag]] and loves to give infractions for "[[IRL_Troll|supporting acts of terrorism]]" when someone defends [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|the Hiroshima/Nagasaki bombings]], but then 6 seconds later [[Irony|makes a thread celebrating 9/11]], whilst making sure to use the DD/MM date format of "11/9" to [[Trolling|troll]] Americans. It is [[Nobody_cares|unclear]] why Sasha is so [[Pansy|cowardly]] when it comes to hiding behind the Guess Who!? account, but one thing is for certain: Mayank will do nothing to stop Sasha and his [[THE_INTERNET_IS_SERIOUS_BUSINESS|burning desire]] to win every one-sided [[Arguing_on_the_internet|debate]] with the [[13_year_old_boys|teenagers]] in the Debates & Discussions forum, including [[DELETE_FUCKING_EVERYTHING|hard-deleting]] all posts that expose Sasha for the [[Butthurt|raving lunatic]] that he is.

Sasha's [http://www.abytheliberal.com/ blog] is also a great [[Sauce|sauce]] for epic [[lulz]]. On this blog, he pretends to be a cultured, [[Mega_ultra_super_genius|intelligent]] debater, without resorting to "vulgarity" and "uncultured swearing" (as he does on Teenhut.) His delusions of Europe as a harmonious utopia are also apparent, as can be seen [http://www.abytheliberal.com/world-culture/europe-vs-america-culture/ here].

[[File:Lolbias2.PNG|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT SASHA ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]

‡ Some sources state only 30 minutes.

<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|th3|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|My experience, knowledge and understanding of the real world is better than what you can collect in a lifetime.|Capt. Sasha describing how much better he is than us
|'''Typical American'''. Not only prejudiced and ignorant, but an uncivilised swearmouthed troll as well. '''Product of mentally deficient parents, no doubt.'''|Capt. Sasha exhibiting his skills at '''bolding random words for no reason''' |Please, excuse yourself from this discussion and go do something you are more mentally capable of. Like, munching on a McGiant hamburger.|Typical Sasha retort after being [[pwned]] by an American|You don't do that, you faggot.|Neg rep comment to Trevor after he reversed a bullshit infraction Sasha gave DamnImGood for anally raping him in a debate. Europeans are nevertheless far more tolerant than Americans amirite?|Depends on where you are. An American girl is more likely to date a penis rather than the guy while a European girl is more likely to date a guy rather than the penis.|Sasha being an overgeneralising [[faggot]] when [[13_year_old_boy|someone]] asked if girls would object to his small penis.|
I'll get by with Americans the same way I do with Nazi-sympathisers, Zionists and radical Islamists. No closer, since I don't want to be tainted by their filth, no matter how many millions of them are out there.|Capt. Sasha explaining how Americans are the filth of the world
|Personally, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for another nuclear/biological strike, as the WTC attack is dissapointingly too small in magnitude to bring as much effect in the American mind as to motivate them to stop killing others.|Capt. Sasha's remarks on if 9/11 should be a US national holiday|Typical American girl!|Sasha commenting on a news article about a 15 year old nigra who got caught getting gangbanged in school by 6 classmates. To Sasha, the antics of ghetto niggers are "typical" of all Americans.
|Please do not preach morality or ethics to someone who is in a better moral and ethical position than you are as an American. An American talking of morality and ethics is like hearing a serial killer talk of humanity.|Capt. Sasha, the former co-admin of Teen Hut|}}|border=black|background=white}}</center>

== Other Human Like Creatures ==
'''JR''' is Teenhut's very own serial murderer. When he is not out killing old ladies (RIP VIOLET WONDERGEM) and violating his probation, he can be found on Teenhut endorsing underage drinking, drinking and driving, and selling stolen iPhones on craigslist. He has been known for such deep and enlightening posts like "u just gotta live ur life..do what u want to do" even though doing what he wants to do has literally gotten people killed before. Though he is from a "three strikes" state, he managed to avoid prison long enough to flee to New York, where he can now murder people anytime and anywhere without the police giving a fuck. His idol is, hilariously, Che Guevara. [[Image:JRsmiling.jpg|thumb|JR, looking thrilled after being busted for yet another murder.]]

JR's sworn enemy:

[[File:SpeedBump.jpg|JR's sworn enemy]]

'''Julia''' is a mexican former [[camwhore]] slut who has now devolved into just another annoying cunt in a long line of annoying cunts. She spends her days updating everyone on the forum of her adventures being a female marine. Every fucking day. When not boring the members of the forum to death with her stories, she can be found having phone sex with her lover [[faggot|Cade]] and crying to him about her [[bullshit|miscarriages]] and how mean people on the forum are to her.

'''Kahlil''' is an [[bullshit|asexual]] nice guy member of the forum who is widely known to be a complete asshole. Though claiming to be asexual, he repeatedly hits on both men and women and compliments them on their attractiveness and tells them how much he wants to put his 3 inch Jamaican cock inside of them. When he's not busy posting about how he is so unique for his alleged asexuality, he can be found on MSN gossiping about other members behind their back with the one legged freak Brandon.

'''Cade''' is the recently deceased self-described [[faggot|supervillian]] who lied for [[over 9000]] years about having a dead girlfriend in order to gain sympathy and love from Teenhut's camwhores. After being trolled off the forum by super trolls Lewis, Rob and Kris he returned 6 months later and attempted to gain everyone's friendship back, but raged and quit again upon [[lulz|discovering people didn't like a person who would lie about their girlfriend dying.]] He has returned yet again and continues to failtroll.

'''Jias''' - Another bisexual who could easily be called the most [[fake|normal looking member on TeenHut.]] But don't let this fool you, he's got deep emotional issues just like 1203224234% of the forum. You can usually find him on the Cafe sharing stories about his <del>pointless</del> awesome daily life that no one except his millionaire parents, who he talks about every single day that ends in a "y", give a fuck about. He no longer posts on TeenHut after his long-suspected photo-stealing habits were unearthed, causing him to leave due to [[Butthurt|embarrassment]].

'''Jess''' was a bitch, she recently died IRL because of her fatness. Edit: She hasn't actually died, she's just been inactive for nearly 3 years.

'''Anti-Condom''' is a fat Mexican who is only ever interested in sex and going bareback for it too. According to other members, he's actually a virgin which makes it a whole lot funnier. He insists only ever using huge, capitalised, bold and quoted text because he's "never followed the trend". He's a general nuisance.

'''Emma''' is another closet camwhore lesbian who so desperately lurks around the forum waiting for the unsuspecting troll to troll for trolling. She's also Irish, which most likely explains her stupidity due to her parents' excessive Irish drinking.

'''Lana''' is an overweight Britfagpakicunt who will soon an hero for the jihad. She claims to be the most contributing member to the site, yet her gigantic constant PMS blood dripping teeth filled vagina prevent her from completing simple everyday tasks, without looking like the bitch that she is. It is said that the following is the biggest bitch rant that she's ever splurted out of her sewer hole, I mean vagina. She constantly bitches in Girls Privacy about how fat she is, yet refuses to make the effort to lose it. It's thought that maybe she wishes to remain fat so that that her Jihad suicide mission will be more successful, as the fat will cause the plane to descend more quickly.

The following is of Lana and Mattster in the middle of one of their many sex acts.
<youtube>KWIe_zhWHtk</youtube>

{{squote|"For all those who got Lulz from the article, I really hope you enjoy ridiculing people to the extent where they have to re-think their aspects and posting situation here. YOU may not think that the internet is serious, but to some people it fucking is. If you don't like the site, then get your fucking arse out of the door and never, ever come back.

What RIGHT does a few members here have to start writing flith on a PUBLIC site and expect people to be ok with it? Take it on the chin and all that? Bullshit to you. All those who are arguing and saying that it was just a harmless joke, you are wrong. So fucking wrong. You're only arguing for the shitty article because horrible things weren't said about you. Now it doesn't matter the fact that I was mentioned or not, I would do the exact same thing for anyone who was mentioned... How dare anyone, anyone on this fucking site take people's feelings and insecurities and stamp them into the ground without a thought otherwise. Those are the people who have to grow the fuck up and really take a fucking hobby. I'm terribly disgusted with the behaviour that has happened in this thread tonight... I really really am. Won't mean a lot to pricks who are only there to take a stab, but I hope that others who decided to be arseholes in here tonight really open their eyes and learn how to behave on a forum that they don't own and have no right to start throwing horrible insults as if they're Mr. Fucking Big Balls. You won't ever get away with insulting me or anyone close to me... Ever. Guaranteed.

To all those who are starting to get their panties in a twist stating that Matthew has been biased and abusing his powers.. That's his job on this site. So fucking get over it. YOU brought the insults of members and staff alike onto TeenHut, so you have to be punished for it. Case closed. It doesn't matter who wrote it, AJ brought it here and no one admitted to creating the page at first so he got the punishment. Now all those who are hanging off AJ's balls are trying to take the blame and get their beloved member back, when in reality no one does want him back. He really is the anal wart that is the human life of TeenHut. I'm so sure that if he was wanted back, his ban would have been reversed by now. He gets pleasure from being the biggest lump of cock snot I have ever, EVER had the misfortune to meet. I am to the very edge of patience when it comes to him and his ridiculous posting.

What I find fucking hypocritical to say the least is that when you write the article flaming people to the very brim... Oh it's ok. It's a joke don't get butthurt. Why do you care? If it's just the internet... then surely those defending the fucked up mess that is AJ, would move on because they're sooooooooooooo mature and can take the internet life sooooooooo well. "It's the internet, get over it" This statement would make sense a few years ago... but with the rise of the use of the internet, it really is a home away from home. People depending on the internet for all different reasons, and it can affect real life... Do I have to go into the Boxxy situation?

tl;dr BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW"|Lana the bitch, after finding this article}}

== Forum Sections ==
Like every other forum, this sad attempt to bring teens together contains various sections to discuss why your pubes are blond instead of dark, why you're now older and blood comes out of your vagina, or why your peepe gets bigger everytime you see Ben Affleck on TV.
=== The Cafe ===
The Cafe is the most popular section of teenhut; Apart from forum games, but no one gives a fuck about that.

Inside the wonderful Teenhut cafe you will find camwhores wanting to expose themselves in order to get the attention of horny 15 year old boys. There are a range of weirdos in the cafe, but the cafe is mainly filled with [[emo]] girls sharing their live stories in long ass posts hoping that someone will read them and empathize with them.

Aside from camwhores this section holds the most "drama" of the forum. The drama mostly consist of people whining that other people don't think they are funny because they fail at life. The drama also comes from the mods being so butthurt every time someone complains about them failing at their job. Then when it's hardly any drama they [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING]]. Then when they don't get their way they bitch to Mayank about and get their way.

When there isn't a thread with a 13 year old suburban kid bitching about how much his parents hate him because they only bought him the original iPhone and a PS3 for his birthday, The Boob Lady is always more than happy to make a thread with a picture of her rack asking the 13 year old horny, lonely boys to guess her bra size. And then make a thread 11 minutes later asking if we think she's a slut.
=== Teen Sexuality ===
The sexuality section which serves as the ultimate place for 12 year old boys to brag about their 9 inch penises.

The only people who really post in sexuality section are the emo and insecure kids who really, just needed a hug from mom or dad. They of course, fill the void of not having parents by having a 9 inch penis and bragging about how they last for [[over 9000]] hours in bed. The fact that many scientists have proven 12 year olds can't even pre-cum yet has not deterred these apparent masters of sex.

The other group of people who post in the sexuality section are, of course, the pedophiles. While it very well could include every member of the moderator team, it certainly is not limited to such. The 12 year old boys very much enjoy lying to themselves about the existence of pedophiles on the forum, and convince themselves that "Hotgirl69" or "supersexyprincess88" are really hot 18 year old girls who want to have their way with them, and not their 46 year old uncle.

==Ultimate VIP==
Only faggots buy this, seriously.

==New Teenhut==
Teenhut is no longer a place where reasonable discussion takes place, rather a place dominated by [[faggot]] trolls such as Rob and [[nigger|Lewis.]] They run the forum with an iron fist which they routinely shove up Mayank and Mattster's ass and get everything they want, despite being the two biggest leeches on the forum.

==Epic quotes==
<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|th4|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|At least with FOX you get the truth, and the whole story, not CNN views.|Cat after hearing about [[Faux_News|Faux news]].
|Laura... Are you going to keep sucking dick all your life or are you going to grow your own balls? I'm sick of the fucking pricks on this site treating people like fucking wank.|Lana, bitching after seeing her very own section on this page.
|Being a conspiracy theorist in the case of nine-eleven, it isn't necessary about the absolute truth. It's more a lifestyle, like not drinking coffee with pure white sugar but liking chocolate bars; or liking to be an vegan but strangely eating sometimes a good, biological chicken. Contradicting? Yes. But this is a well known behavior.|JohnRafoe...wut.|}}|border=black|background=white}}</center>

==External Links==
*[http://www.teenhut.net/ TeenHut.net]
[[Category:Sites|Crap]]

Hospital

2024-08-09T06:03:36Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long.

:''Not to be confused with [[prison|mental hospital]].''

A '''hospital''' is a slaughterhouse for humans and other bipeds like Jews, gays, and Gypsies. [[Hitler]] later stole the idea of gassing undesirables from US doctors and the Rockefellers and finally combined it with [[Holocaust|German efficiency]]. Besides traffic cops and selfies, hospitals are one of the leading producers of [[gore|guro]], including the [[Pain Series]]. A hospital is basically an IRL [[Shock Site|shock site]], and the real reason [[Muslim]]s and [[Jews]] don't eat pork.

==Who goes to hospitals?==
The hospital (pronounced "hospital" by [[Britfag]]s. Example: "Blimey! Me mum is a proper slapper 'n sicked awl ever 'n she's in hospital presently, cheerio!") is <s>an expensive</s> a free motel in first world countries where delusional wretches go to get [[Ebola|sick]] or [[die]]. In third world countries like Americunt, it is the most expensive motel imaginable and literally costs an arm and a leg for <s>room service</s> off-brand jello. People who prefer shitting at home often use a [[Robin Williams|belt]] instead, while people who want to save money on the rental of a deathbed often check into a penthouse suite and blow their brains all over the wall with a hollow point, gold-plated bullet, or [[OldDirtyBtard|overdose on Cristal and morphine in Indonesia]]. Some bitter virgins prefer to [[School Shooting|take others down with them]] like a drowning mammal because they never got that Malibu Barbie Dream House they wanted.

==How do hospitals make money?==
A hospital is a place where mortal con-men wearing white (because angels) make an obscene amount of money on baby aspirin and factoids they heard on [[House]] that one time, in an effort to distract scared people from their impending death while their [[Jews|partners in crime]] pick their pockets and liposuction everything out of it. Most doomed animals can see the writing on the wall, but humans like to live in [[denial]] until the very last moment, and hippocratical people figured out how to make [[moniez]] off this. Once a hospital gets a panicked fish on the hook, they slowly reel it in until they can scoop out the eyeballs and put them in people that God never wanted to have eyeballs. Not even a hospital could save [[Steve Jobs]] and he was fucking rich so what do you think your odds are? Before you answer that, we're gonna need some more tests and you need to lose some weight, lardass.

You know how in expensive restaurants, there are no prices listed anywhere? [[Poor|Of course you don't]]. Hospitals are the same, but they are dumpster divers who get all of their offal for free from the automobile industry and cellphone industry. No-cost mystery meats from these butchered animals are then sold at a substantial markup to [[Niggers|McDonalds customers]], [[Diabeetus|sugar addicts]], [[Rednecks|chronic alcoholics]], and [[Zika|babies that God hates]]; while the family members of the deceased are pressured by ghouls into letting [[sick fucks]] cut up [[your mom]] for free while they [[Necrophilia|defile]] her still warm corpse in a back room all for the [[lulz]], unless she absentmindedly checked a box 5 years ago at the DMV in which case her corpse was always [[fair game]]. Family members get paid in "[[Nothing|helpful feelings]]" while hospitals get paid in cold hard cash because profiting off of human organs is <s>wrong</s> Chinese. Hospitals are also what [[faggot]]s use to give [[AIDS]] to science fiction writers, although [[Cult|Jehovah's Witnesses]] can [[Pool's Closed|see through]] these homosexual schemes.

==In popular culture==
Hospitals have been popularized in recent years due to medical propaganda shows like M*A*S*H, St. Elsewhere, E/R, Doogie Howser, M.D., ER, House M.D., Grey's Anatomy, Dr. Oz, and The Walking Dead. This has successfully fooled the public into believing surgeons, doctors, and nurses are human. The only people who work at hospitals are [[atheist]] [[serial killer]]s who play God and fat Polynesian body-movers. Any [[emo]] faggot OTI who claims to suffer from [[Baw|depression]] has never set foot in a hospital, a somber shrine of human misery, suffering, and death. As a microcosm of the human condition, hospitals are what everyone spends their entire lives distracting themselves from, like with food, sports, [[animu]], videogames, or by editing shitty wikis.

==The benefits of hospitals==
Hospitals are the leading cause of <s>bankruptcy</s> [[Bug Chasers|superbugs]] worldwide, whether it's Amerilard which enjoys [[Capitalism|profiting]] off of dying people since that's The American Dream ever since dirty [[Injun]]s were given hospital blankets, or [[France]] where at least 100% of people's income goes to treat chronic winos and frog amputees. In [[China]], hospitals give people who ruined perfectly good organs with baijiu "new" organs harvested from prisoners who criticized Chinese politics. China leads the world in organ recycling, mainly by restaurants and makeshift street vendors.

==American Hospitals==
In [[Murka]], hospitals are those things that fat soccer moms heard about on Dr. Oz, which is the only medical advice most Americans can [[Obamacare|afford]] beyond Dr. Phil. Murka also forces people who prefer gambling in lotteries to use a [[HealthCare.gov|shitty website]] to book their final motel accommodations. In other countries, hospitals are those things that people rave about where they can stand in line for hours and get pills, otherwise known as a "pharmacy" or "rock concert" or "music festival."

==Elective surgery==
Hospitals are also where <s>anesthesiologists</s> Frank Booth gives people gas that they don't know why it works so that [[autistic|psychopath]]s with knives can cut people open to see their guts in an effort to find which organ secretes empathy. Although in Amerilard, the procedure is mainly to [[BDSM|tie a tiny fucking rope]] around [[fat|landwhale]] stomachs so they stop eating so god damn much, or even cutting out half their fucking stomach because they're an "emotional eater." Because duct tape over their mouths would be too easy. This tiny "lap band" costs significantly more than tying a real "gut rope" around their mid-section to make them stop filling their god damn fat face 24/7, but don't suggest they tie an actual rope around their whalish belly, because that's fat shaming and hurts their feelings more than they've hurt their pancreas, insulin levels, and chairs. But hey, if it works for Chinese girls feets and ancient redskin skulls. Spanx are larger outer versions of surgical lap bands, since fatties are too fat for corsets anyway. Doctors may also put a balloon inside fatasses because fat people have an IRL [[inflation]] fetish, and this balloon can help clear McDonalds out of [[series of tubes|the tiny tubes]] that are the only reason your soul gets any oxygen. If a soul doesn't get enough oxygen, it flies back to [[Jesus]] since there's more oxygen in Heaven off in outer space.

==Trivia==
Hospitals are also where drug addicts go to steal needles or feel better about themselves because their opium looks like candy and they're not smoking it out of a long ass pipe like dirty Chinamen or Afghanis. In the rare event that patients leave a hospital outside a body bag, known as a "miracle" by [[Christfag]]s, hospitals will always take credit for it, mostly in the form of multiple credit cards to pay for medical bills that would be free outside America.

[[Category:Guro]]
[[Category:Shock Sites]]

Lemon pudding

2024-08-09T05:59:38Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long. It is, however, crap.

{{Crap}}

Originally devised over the Memorial Day weekend of 2010, '''Lemon Pudding''' is a series of [[copypasta]] that trolls use to fuck up Hey Arnold! threads on [[4chan]]'s /co/ board. They usually involve one character fucking another, shitting into open wounds, and terribad grammar. This has been proven time and time again a great way to troll the manchildren who try to actually talk about Hey Arnold.
[[File:FUCKING HEY ARNOLD.jpg|thumb|right]]

==The Original==
surprisingly, for a boy named stinky, his anus smelled of the sweetest perfume. this was likely due to his habit of filling it with delicious lemon pudding. one day while full to the brim, stinky decided to take a nice long walk down to ps 118 to see if he couldn't pinch his lemony load in the sink of the girls bathroom. the thought of this full him with glee. just the hint of the idea of a girl breathing in the vapors of his bunghole butter made his toes curl with unearthly delight. unfortunately, while passing the boarding house, something pink and soft darted out between his legs! it was arnold's pig, abner. his sudden appearance caused stinky to trip. as he fell, the smallest trickle of lemon pudding escaped from his pearly pink shitcave. abner smelled it at once and immediately began to rummage through stinky's cavern of carnal pleasures. feeling abners snout fully lodged in his anus, stinky had a brilliant idea. he bit onto the concrete and squeezed his anus as hard as he could. shit and lemon pudding went through abners system so fast that he shot tiny diamonds of pig shit all over the neighbor hood. an especially sloppy loaf struck a nearbye window, hitting my kokashka on the foreskin. his wife later got an infected from the anal sex that ensued and sued stinky for 5000 dollars.he lost his house and had to resort to turning tricks on the street just to keep the bank from taking his lemon pudding, his delicious lemon pudding. and yes, the whole situation really bites.

==MOAR==
===Gerald===
gerald's penis flopped across arnolds face like an aids infested weasel of love. arnold bobbed and weaved, trying to catch it in his mouth, but gerald's penis was so nimble that arnold could not catch hold of it. without warning, gerald shot a load of bloodied pink cum across arnolds face. the heat of it made arnold feel light headed. seeing arnold's eyes rolling back gerald took the opportunity to grab his friend by the shoulders and squat a greasy shit into his mouth. the turd went directly into arnold's throat, blocking his airways. arnold panicked, pulling the grisly shit into his lungs. as he suffocated he felt that the world was shaking. but it was only gerald fucking him in his boy pussy.

As read by a total fag:
<youtube>4e9v_Gfmq1g</youtube>

===Stoop Kid===
stoop kid rubbed his testicles across the cold concrete that was his stoop
to him it was the concrete womb of the mother he never knew
every day he would piss in a corner of the stoop and lay in the puddle later for warmth. today, as was his habit, he was rubbing his naked shame stick on the concrete and imagining that he could part the stairs and fuck the stoop. that was when he noticed the loose piece of masonry. a penis shaped rock was jutting out of his beloved stoop, though he was saddened at the degradation of his stoop, stoopkid could not help but immediately plunge himself upon it
it ripped through his anus, shredding his intestine like pink toilet paper, his blood ran out and onto his hairless balls. all the other kids of the city began to gather around an watch in horror. stoop kids intestines were pouring out of his anus, down the stairs of his beloved stoop. though the pain was unbearable, his real fear was his distended anus leaving the safety of his stoop. as though at the command of his though, a solitary turd floated down the stream of his blood on to the pavement below. he looked at it, like a little Hispanic version of himself and jumped off of his stoop into the path of an oncoming bus.

===Curly===
[[File:HA lemon screen.JPG|thumb|right]]
curly quivered with ecstasy and fear. he wondered how long it would be before chocolate boy would discover that the contents of curly's anus was not at all chocolate. chocolate boys shit slicked tongue darted left to right, turning curly's shit into a frothy paste, chocolate boy then scooped some shit out and rubbed all over his mangled penis. curly watched in awe as chocolate boy bent his penis into a pretzel shape and beat it with a shoe
this apparently cause chocolate boy immense pleasure as he instantly shot a shit scented load of boiling cum onto curly's glasses.
enraged, curly jammed his cock down chocolate boys throat. the shit in his mouth caused chocolate boy to heave. curly soon found that his penis was floating in a mouth full of bubbling vomit. this pleased him immensely. he reached backwards grabbing and smearing the shit from his ass all over chocolate boys face. chocolate boy then touched curly's shit and smelled his rancid fingers "hey, this isn't chocolate, you lied to me!" then chocolate boy put on his pants and walked home angrily.

===Steely Phil===
"oh pookie" said grandpa as he slid his flaccid penis into her grotesque, sinewy snatch. the inside felt like worn leather sprinkled with salt. she farted as he began to thrust. it smelled of old milk and cool aid. grandpas old man nipples began to vibrate and rotate with the motion of his pumping like two bulbous milk duds on a veiny string. as he came, he momentarily imagined his missing daughter, as he always did. he then defecated on the bed and died.

===Cid===
Rhonda's cunt was completely and utterly destroyed Cid's massive nose had broken it beyond compare. every thrust he made into her bloody, shredded cervix spread the wound farther up her body. eventually, the ragged red tear moved up between her budding breasts. a speck of dust flew into cid's nose, causing him to sneeze. this caused rhonda to split entirely in half. cid saw this as a tremendous opportunity. he removed rhonda's bubbling innards and wore her skin like a shit smeared snuggie. he ran out into the road in his rhonda disguise and invited the first man he met to fucking anally. that man of course was Big Bog Pataki. His calloused cock ripped Cid's anus so wide that he could have shat pancakes. bob thrust harder and deeper, the vein on his neck growing tremendously in size. that was when he notices the bloody skin sliding off of cid's back. "you little faggot!" he screamed, realizing he was fucking a boy. "i'm not paying money for this!" he was so enraged that the vein in his neck burst, causing a fatal anurism. in fear, cid fled the scene, pulling big bob and his cock behind him the entire way.

===Lila===
lila writhed in agony on her fathers cock
it was so hard that it felt to lila that she was shoving several bricks into her tiny vaginy. it hurts father! she wailed. it hurts oh so very much! her father did not respond, in his dreaming mind he was fucking his beloved wife that had passed away oh so many lonely years ago. all he heard was "harder dear, deeper too!"
he pressed so hard he could have sworn he heard the floor boards breaking
looking down he saw a torrent of blood spilling from the mangled crevice that was once his daughters vagina. "i don't like-like this daddy!" lila cried.

lila's father turned her over and prepared to enter her anus. "too bad" was his only response

===Helga===
"just my luck!" helga screamed as she wrestled the steaming turd out of the public school toilet. "arnold ate corn again today!" helga hated corn, each time she attempted to add corned poop to her shrine of arnold's shit, it eventually crumbled, causing a terrible mess. "well, can't let it go to waste" knowing it would be a poor addition to the shrine helga began to cradle it like a baby. eventually licking it all over and sliding it into her mucous slicked vagina. her unibrow twitched as a piece of corn shot off into her cervix. she imagined it was arnold's seed. as she came, she thought of big bob. then she began to cry.

===Grandma===
"make me cum watermelon's you little nigger!" arnold's grandmother screamed as she proceeded to rape gerald. his cock was flacid with fear, but her dry vaginal lips were so loose that he could have probably fucked her from 3 feet away. her labia hung low like hairy purse straps, slapping gerald on the stomach as he tried to crawl away in fear "giddie up sambo! we're going down the Mississippi, the chocolate river!" she cackled as she farted onto gerald's face. the smell was so terrible that gerald shit into his hand and shoved it into his mouth to improve the taste he was tasting. grandpa walked into the room and began to have palpitations. as he died from shock, shit and piss fled his body and slid down his leg into his shoe. granny removed this shoe and used to beat gerald's balls from behind. gerald came blood onto the snarled white pubes on her stomach and with that, granny died as well. she shat out gerald's cock. acting as a cork does on a bottle of champagne, gerald's cock was followed by a torrent of shitty, pissy, bloody goop.

===Olga===
being the perfect daughter, Olga could not help but swallow her father's load
without warning, big bob slapped her across the face, Olga pleaded "but i swallow it all this time!"
"yeah, but sometime I like to slap you for the hell of it!"
his penis flopped onto her forehead, the stench of his balls causing her to vomit
Olga's perfect vomit, which smelled of citrus and marshmallows, flowed into big bob's anus, mixing with his shit and Miriam's fingernail clippings. Without hesitation, Big bob turned around in anger and shot the fluid back out on to olga's face.
being the perfect daughter, olga felt obliged to swallow it all.

===Lila?===
arnold could not believe his eyes, lilah had broken into his room in the dead of night and was rubbing his penis allover her asshole. arnold went to flip on the light but lilah grabbed his arm and placed it on her breasts. arnold wondered why she insisted on doing it in the dark but the feel of her warm, enveloping flesh on his lopsided penis made him forget his worries entirely. he began pumping like a retard fucking a football, he tore several muscles in his legs as his body twisted and contorted the moment hey came "i love you lilah!" he screamed as he shot his yellowish load all over her face. "lila", , flicked on the lights and said, "surprise!" (post this story with a pictured of eugene spoilered)

===Mr. Hyunh===
mr hyunh missed his daughter terribly, dressing up like a lady and sucking cocks was all he could do to take his mind off of her. while pearly dicks slid in and out of his hairless, distended asshole, he would imagine that she was her, and that the vomit encrusted cocks that poured sperms and urine down his throats were his own kisses that he was giving to his beloved daughter. just the thought of her perfect face and nipples made him regret ever selling her to those american troops. just the thought of their mangled american cocks filling her every hole with burning white man sperm made his o-ring quiver. he finally decided enough was enough. he bit down hard on the penis of the man he was servicing. peapod kid jumped up in surprise, unable to bring himself to look at the bloody void where his cock once was. mr hyunh saw this gaping hole and became increadably aroused, he shoved his penis, all 3 inches of it into peapod kids and shot a shiny yellow load. he then found a phone book to find a therapist.

===Monkey Man===
monkey man's cape filled his entire anus. by swallowing a hook and string her was able to latch onto it and pull it through his entire digestive system! half of the way through his stomach however, it became lodged between two old condoms and he nearly chocked to death. luckily for monkey man, arnold was watching the entire time. when he saw monkey man in distress, arnold sprang into action, in a single swift movement he had managed to plunge his gigantic black penis all the way into monkey man's cold yellow rectum. the tip of his penis reached so far in, in fact, that it dislodge the cape and moneky man was able to pull it out the rest of the way! shit and bile scrapped against his teeth. to him, it tasted like justice. as the last piece of fabric left his mouth he let out a triumphant scream of "MONKEEY MAN!" and that is when arnold shoved his shitty dick down his throat.

===Sad Helga===
helga felt hot tears pouring down her cheeks
miriam stood over her, kicking helga in the ribs
"don't you ever fuck my husband again you disgusting cunt!" she screamed
big bob's cums seeped out of helga anus like maynoise from a stepped on packet
the bruises on helga's neck consticted her breathing
as the final boot caved in her forehead she though she saw the only person she ever loved.
she reached out towards the illusion, whispering "hey arnold"
then she was dead

===Arnold===
no matter how hard he tried, Arnold could never masturbate without imagining his cousin arnie. whenever Arnold imagined Lila, he also imagined his disgusting cousins balls slapping her cum soaked mouth, his shitty brown anus twitching with delight as he plunged his crescent shaped penis into her bleeding front butt hole. whenever Arnold shoots his load of steaming penis poop he is instantly filled with regret. not because he imagined Arnie fucking Lila, but because he has imagined it from lila's point of view.

===Big Patty===
Big Patty had a big problem. It was time for lunch and her throbbing erection refused to go away. she had managed to hide it so far by shoving her penis into her own ass. but now she had to shit so bad that the shit had forced her penis back between her hairy legs. she crept ever so slowly to the cafeteria, afraid to shit or jizz in her sweat pants. with the utmost concentration she managed to find a seat alone in the corner of the room where she could masturbate and shit her pants, as was her habit on such days. she felt a rumbling below the belt, she did not know whether she was coming or going. staring in horror she looked between her legs to find Harold liking the liquid shit off of her backwards facing penis. He smiled briefly, and she knew that she was safe. harold turned around, pressing the patch of ulcers on his left butt cheek against her penis, patty came immediately, shooting cum onto the bottom of her table and launching it up towards the ceiling. the entire student body of ps 118 watched in horror. the shame caused patty to lose control of her bowels, shit and cum shot every where, especially on to the face of harold who was squatting at ground zero. when the earth stopped shaking, he stood up and declared. "so that's where my pencil was" and walked out of the building. he was never seen alive again.

===Arnie===
Arnie cared nothing for lila, to him, she was a warm place to park his monstrous cock. the freckles on her ass combined with the tangled, red, clown like hair of her cunt disgusted him. every time he fucked her he had to grab a shampoo bottle and read the label to keep from vomiting. as he inched in deeper, and deeper still, his only delight was the sound of lila's tears striking the floor. though he was of small intelligence he was gifted with cock. just putting the head in caused lila considerable pain. now that he was the full ten inches deep, he could feel the blood from her torn vag boiling around his cock. he pulled out momentarily to admire his work. brown blood poured out onto his balls. punching lila in the face, he directed her to clean them off with her tongue. feeling that the time was right her jumped three feet in the air and landed taint first on to lila's tongue. instinctively she tossed his salad, it tasted like plain flavored gum, and shit.

===Principle Warts===
principle warts was delighted
he had never had an ass as tight as mr simmons' before
mr simmons on the other hand was flushed in the face and hot with shame
his bloody shitter was so battered he felt like he could crap out his pelvis with the slightest effort
the cum drizzling down his forehead stung his eyes and he had to bite a roll of principle wartz' ample thigh fat to keep from losing his mind
a hunk of sinewy flesh snapped of into his mouth and mr simmons suddenly found his senses over taken by blood lust
his bit and tore at ever bundle of flesh he could find
principle wartz was too busy fucking to notice.
it was not until he shot his 5th load that he noticed his predicament
within moments he died of blood loss
mr simmons continued riding his rigid dead man's cock until the police arrived several hours later. he was promptly fired.

===Arnold (not by the original author)===
it was a normal day for arnold. he was walking down the street his bowels began to hurt. "oh fuck i gotta take a shit" he thought. he then saw dino spumonis corpse floating down the gutter like a piece of shit in the toilet not being able to wait anymore he opened the rotting corpses mouth and took a huge shit. everyone gathered around and cheered as the chocolate ecstacy poured from arnolds ass. he then unzipped his pants and began fucking the shit mound rising out of deade dinos mouth. as he was about to cum he saw helga. he grabbed her by the throat, shoved her face into the shit and fucked her ass until his dick came out of her stomach he then jizzed all over dead dinos four hundred dollar tie.

===Phoebe===
phoebe had always admired the smell of big bob's dick. even though he never exposed it to her, phoebe could smell it's pungent smegma from rooms away. all the while Helga was prattling on about football head this and blah blah that, phoebe would imagine climbing up between big bob's legs and licked the curdles of sploogy cheese out of the wrinkles of his beat red leathery cock.

===Harold===
Harold's anus danced with delight, it was filled to the brim with ham
Mr green cackled wildly, shoving slice after slice between harold's virgin cheeks. during a considerably difficult shove his hand became caught in the meat. this was when things got weird. harold shat out the ham at such a great speed and velocity that mr green's face was covered with half baked anus meats. he began to eat it with vigor. his twisted penis unfurled from his butchers apron, forming a sort of broken question mark of cock. he attempted to shove it into harold's anus but missed. it slipped off of harold's bulbous ass it rammed into the wall. his penis slapped in half and harold ran away screaming, ham falling from his ass the entire way. though he was in incredible pain, mr green screamed "you have to pay for that ham you thieving jew"!

===Oscar===
Mr. Kokoschka squinted as he released his steamy seed into the lining of his ancient underpants. just the thought of fucking a baby made him so horny, one could fill a bucket with his precum. the fact that his bitch of a wife was baby sitting a child was too much to bear. suddenly, he burst into the room where the baby was sleeping and plunged it on his cock, laughing "ha ha ha!" the entire time
to him, the act of fucking babby was no stranger than fucking a dying dog, which he also enjoyed doing
as the baby began to flail spasmodically from the shock Kokoschka put his mouth the Childs and sucked the frothy vomit out of it's mouth. it tasted of milk and stomach acid. he spit this back out into the babies eyes. as Mr. Kokoschka came he whispered "no baby, YOU keep the cummy."

===Oskar (not by the original author)===
oskar was waiting in his room when he heard a loud noise. it was phil he broke down the door and unzipped his pants, his old veiny dick hanging between his legs. "dick is like the snake that bit my bubushka" he said before phil tackled him with his steely strength. he tied him to oskrs table as suzie came out. he knocked suzie down and ripped off her tits. "i want to fuck yer wife" so phil began raping the helpless suzie, the blood from massive holes where her tits were drenching his overalls in blood. oskar began to cry as phil lift suzie and squeezed her so hard had she shit all over oscar. phil began to laughed as he then fucked suzie in the ass and pulled out to come all over oscars beard. he then took out oscars cock and forced suzies mouth on it then he decapitated her leaving her disembodied head sucking on oscars cock. as oscar cried he couldnt help but cum as it poured out of the bottom of suzies neck all over the floor.

===Sheena===
sheena's poison ivy was spreading, what started as a bump on her finger spread to an apocalyptic rash that stretch from her mouth to her vagina. she spent the entire night twisting in her blankets, scrapping the bloodied sores away from her skin. the puss from her wounds felt so warm and slippery, she could not help but explore her ass. feeling inspiration she reached for a nearby bottle of calamine lotion and injected the contents into her pooper. it dried out her anus immediately and it collapsed like an empty paper bag. acting quickly she bit and tore and scratched at all of her itchy sores until she had collected enough puss in a cup to fill her mouth completely. she held it on her tongue for a moment before doing a backflip and vomiting into her own anus. as she landed on the bed she shot the puss all over her filthy sheets. that night she slept with ease in a pile of her own very special bedding.

===Brainy===
Brainy's breathing grew heavier with each thrust
Helga's corpse had been decaying for weeks but her anus still retained it's former glory
brainy dug in his nails as her shot his first load of the morning
green carrion collected under his nails as brackish blood pooled out of the wound. brainy rolled his testicles in the fluid
to him, it was as though his love Helga had released the lubrication her needed to finally fuck her eye socket
his breathing grew more laborious as he felt the cold caress of helga's unibrow on his abdomen
the first thrust popped the green sac of decay that was helga's left eye
the second thrust caused an outpouring of puss and liquefied brain matter that brainy could not help but take delight in
acting quickly, he took several handfuls of the mottled matter and shoved them inside of his anus
just the thought of helga's thoughts living in his gritty bunghole made him so excited that he filled helga's empty cranium with glops of his scabby man goop.
as he pulled out he watched with glee as a mixture of blood and cum seeped out of helga's nostrils. then he had lunch.

===The Jolly Olly Man===
butter brickle ice cream made his nipples harder than his penis, and though it was laden with tumors, it was fantastically hard. the joy olly man smeared another helping of water ice onto his balls and hoped that a child would perchance to mosey by. that is not what transpired. big bob came stomping over, immediately demanding a water ice. the jollly olly man replied by shooting a load of sticky poopfudge all over mr pataki's face. bob was pleasantly surprised. the texture and scent reminded him of his youth, when he was often forced to lick the scabies off of his grandfather's taint. he immediately became aroused, and noticing the rigidity and inhuman length of the jolly olly man's nipples, proceeded to insert the nearest nipple into his urethra
the butter brickle ice cream felt like an icy kiss on his penis. it was almost as good a feeling as he had the time he managed to convince olga and younger olga to quadruple fist him while miriam beat his testicles with an inflatable baseball bat. the jolly olly man came without warning, his semen freezing into jagged spheres, these cum bullets struck big bob on the taint and penetrated all the way into the base of his skull. though the ice cream as delicious, he was permanently paralyzed from the waist up. and hr had brain freeze to boot

===Miriam===
miriam liked to drink, and when she drank she liked to dance and fuck black men. one day whilst high on the most euphoric of heavenly ambrosia's, miriam stumbled onto a basket ball court in the middle of the city. "somebody plow me!" she screamed "toot toot, all aboard the vagina vehicle!" still, nobody came, in desperation, she filled her cunt with food stamps. suddenly, she heard a rumbling in the bushes. a mexican man darted out with the speed of 4 asians, before miriam could react, he had snatched from her snatch the food stamps and darted off back towards his hobbit hole downtown here he wold beat his children and beat off while they beat him. miriam began to weep. she hadn't been fucked in weeks since big bob started plugging that "little asian bitch with the glasses." unable to find a black man she did the next best thing and punched herself in the labia repeatedly. she then bit off her nipples and squeezed er breast until her streams of blood poured into her own mouth. she then promptly walked to the police station and filed a report. the next day gerald was taken from school and arrested for loitering in a public park.

===Ernie===
Ernie was terribly depressed, he spent an entire evening drilling a hole in the outside wall of ps118 in an attempt to create a glory hole, only to find that his penis was too short to make it through to the other side. in desperation, he began to pump against the cold concrete of the building, imagining the warm succulent flesh of the children inside. as he was a bout to cum, he felt mr ngyens' gigantic penis split his anus like an axe slicing through an shit filled apple. the curly red hairs on his ass began slicked with blood as mr ngyen released his salty seed all over the back of Ernie's pants. it was the second worst day of school he had ever attended.

===Lost to Time===
there are two more stories that were deleted before they could be archived.
the first involved a race war, Gerald convinces Rhonda to suck his dick lest she be raped by an unruly gang of niggersmen
the second involved Ruth MacDougle, Arnold's first love. She was locking in a box in Arnold's room where he used his room's automated equipment to rape her
He then urinates on her wounds while chanting "hi ruth, hi ruth"

if you are some sort of sick fuck and saved these stories, go ahead and post them. then pay your taxes. Then kill yourself.

{{trolls}}
[[Category:Trolls]]

Leelad.net

2024-08-09T05:57:46Z

Stooge: I do not deem this article too long. However, I deem this article in need of a cleanup.

{{cleanup}}

[[Image:Leelad_logo.jpg|center]]

'''Leelad.net''' is a forum run by a jolly [[fat|fatass]] from northern [[England]] which is a spin off forum for [[Butthurt]] trolls [[banned]] from [[ChavScum]]. A few posters there are trying the suicidal [[Pussy|attempt to post on both forums while remaining neutral]], but most posters are refugees from ChavScum who were banned for contradicting the mod's views on [[Shit nobody cares about|the working class]]. Despite activity in 2009, it only consists of [[tl;dr]] signature images and [[aspie|aspies]].

==In retrospect==

Leelad.net was the last surviving spinoff forum of ChavScum. Virtually all of its members were ex-chavscummers, [[an hero|tragic victims]] of the original [[ban|cull]] imposed by "tyrant" CS owner Colin Sel|ens during the early days of the CS forum. Tensions grew as the remaining CS members, though somewhat naive, proved not to be utter dickheads and as such maintained their accounts. The ongoing influx of CS newbies fueled the jealousy of the rejects, angered by the fact that Colin could tolerate others who were worse dickheads. This ultimately led to the [[internet tough guy|"revenge of the nerds"]] attacks on CS and its members.

As dogshit attracts flies, leelad.net tends to attract a specific kind of person. Although leelad initially intended his forum to be used for entirely different purposes (see: [[Counter-Strike|online gaming geeks]]), it became a haven for [[loser|deluded ChavScum rejects/dropouts]], unemployed Jeremy Kyle viewers, [[internet stalking|ironic obsessives]], bored [[student|"uni" students]] and various other types of fanatic, domineering turdsniffers.

Outsiders (including neutral members) were frowned upon and ruthlessly flamed for having alternative viewpoints or e-roots. On other occasions, such [[flame wars|flaming sessions]] emerged as part of a desperate attempt to liven the place up. Failure to identify oneself after signing up often resulted in gestapo-like interrogations by various "hotshot" members. This hostile attitude contributed to the forum's low activity level.

==<s>Sprechen Sie Cuntish?</s> Kuntz yuo aer butthurt lol==
The native language of leelad.net is [[leet|leetspeak]], since long, coherent posts are considered far too conventional for the site's non-specified theme. Though most members are English Nationalists, they prefer to use American slang and insults. In fact, 95% of their personal preferences are linked to American culture. Statistics suggest that the average member there is at least 20. What leelad.net lacks in dignified posts and membership count, it makes up for with the biggest sigs on the net, like [http://forums.leelad.net/index.php?PHPSESSID=7392c38e511b31433327195c2418b700&topic=4649.0 this]. Of course you could either sign up or fuck off, but then most ex CS memebers are too [[Pussy|pussyish]] to sign up, preferring to remain [[Anonymous]]

==What our critics say!==
Today Leelard.net is popular with child molesters and [[virgins]] who enjoy dressing up as little girls or even Mr. T. This is what one of them had to [[Flounce|say]]:

{{squote|Today, Chavscum is a forum which is the object of fixation for a group mythically known as 'The Cl1que' or called by [Chavscum] members 'Big Lulz Boys'. This group of social incompentents claim to be leaders of industry, important businessmen and well adjusted 'family men', but in reality, they are nothing more than jealous, obsessive, Beta-Manboys, struggling to act like Alpha Males, who act in a totally juvenile manner of online circle-jerking and high-fiving each other for their h'apparently witty comments. Despite being banned on numerous occasions, these social incompetants still try to sign up to the forum with usernames which are supposed to be 'ironic', sound grandious, or just resemble the gibberish of a toiletting monkey slapping a keyboard with it's buttocks. They are so obsessed with the forum and it's posters, that they attempt to sign up over a dozen times a day, and address threads on their own toilet of a forum to members of the ChavScum Forum Community, in the hopes of getting a response. This of course isn't working, no, not at all. These individuals also feel it is funny to make 'ironic' comments about Islam, the handicapped, and other racially offensive comments, plus renaming one of the Mods Ugly Betty. Recent Rolex mockery, enlarged forehead discrimination and general Jedi baiting has resulted in the CID being contacted as photoshopping is a serious criminal offence, oh yes they will pay dearly for these heinous crimes.|But why won't they PLAY with me??}}

{{squote|So let me get this right…….they spend most of the time on their own forum, making threads about what goes on here on Chavscum?. So basically then, Leelad is a forum about a forum??? }}

{{squote|When you take a look around the playground of a typical British secondary school, your see all sorts of cliques/factions. Your see the Jocks playing football and having a kick about, your see the moshers reading copies of Metalhammer, Emo's putting on their sisters hairspray and eye shadow make up, goths and nerds exchanging World of Warcraft cards......then your get the kids who have no initiative and imagination about what to do with their free time except go around the playground just ripping the piss out of what all the other cliques/factions are doing........well, thats the equivalent of what leelad forum members are }}

[[Image:ROR!.jpg]]

==GOLD WATCHES ARE SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!==
[[Image:Spikeoq2.jpg|thumb|Srsly! I have gold watches and a light sabre! AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO GO TO THE COPS WITH THEM!!!]]
Many people who get trolled get butthurt about it and cry to the moderators to get their tormentors banned. They don't, however decide to bring their vendetta [[IRL]]. Not so [[ChavScum]] moderator Spike/006, whose [[unfunny|"Licensed to Moderate"]] sig became a license to [[pwn]] via complaining to his local cop shop! 006 filed a complaint under [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|The Malicious Communications Act]], because the police in his area didn't have any real crimes to solve. Once the cat had been well and truly put among the pigeons, millions of [[E-lawyers]] pointed out that Spike had even [http://forums.leelad.net/index.php?topic=3759.0 violated his own rules], to which Spike replied [[NO_U]].

Some of the highlights of this saga of lulz was the [[nerd]]'s [http://forums.leelad.net/index.php?topic=3862.0 willingness to argue over the authenticity of his watch], in unfathomably [[TL;DR]] posts. Naturally, nothing really happened, except some RL drama which resulted in most of the "big lulz boys" being transfered to a [[basement|maximum lulz-proof wing of HM Prisons]] where they continue to bring armed robbers and convicted rapists to their knees by craftily photoshopping penises onto their pictures.

==The Chavscum Connection==

A relevant fact that will always be disregarded is that almost every leelad.net member was, in reality, a tolerated high-ranking CS contributer from the past. From the early CS prime-time era of Scribe, Euroboy and Curlz, to the forums life-support stages of Gofaq, Nemi and Ote, to every other big shot CS poster from in between. User accounts with 5 to 6 rep points and four digit post counts where not attained overnight, nor without intention. The only thing that truly seperated the ladders from the spazmonkeys was the fact that the latter were spared from Colin's random culls, [[Shit nobody cares about|for whatever reason]]. Even leelad himself would make recurring appearances on the CS forum with a [[pussy|reconciled attitude]]. If you can tolerate lethal doses of irony, then you might (just barely) handle these facts.

To save face, and to portray their bannings as heroic, many of them would later [[lie|imply]] that they got banned for arguing against Colin's views on the working class. This is only partially true as they did not see fault with CS website until after their original bannings, in fact some were even moderators there for a short while. It's also worth noting that the contents of CS remained virtually unchanged throughout it's history. For years they would sternly criticise Colin's excessive moderating methods despite their newfound belief that no one should be there to begin with.

==Notable Members==

* Lee Walsh - Owner of Leelad from Hull and like all inhabitants, has a diet only consisting of Pie and Chips.

* Joe Baldwin - Well known amongst obsessive ’Me-to! Me-to!‘’ n00bs for constantly leaving and re-joining the forum, Having a loving relationship with a pikey Romanian girl and various rational activities.

* MWR - Mrs Wendy Richard, or so he likes to be known. Obsessive right-wing who tracks forum members IRL. Whenever the words “Ryan” and “Williams” are posted three times in the light of the full moon MWR turns into the mythical iron troll and eats trolls and shits pwnage.

* Ryan Williams - Quite simply put “the sergeant peppers of trolling” posts will be made about him for centuries to come due to his past antics. A welsh Ladies-man who lives the dream of being a successful pop singer who created rival forum CBHQ which was eventually taken down due to Ryan trying to have a threesome with a 13yr old and a 15yr old. And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for us meddling kids…

* Hudson - The Overwatch of Leelad.net, bans people for double posting and attempting to sell shitty drugs. Only contributes to threads that contain tranny scat midget porn - taking place in cars.

* Mazzmataz - An overweight gothic fashion designer which applied to various porn sites, lulz ensued. Srsly don’t post anymore or she’ll call your mum telling her what a naughty boy you are!

* Gofaq *some unintelligible northern Muslim gibberish*

* Dr Ambrosia - the most unfunniest faggot to ever post on Leelad.net, used to spend his days sucking cock in Chavscum but after getting banned decided to declare war on Chavscummers (butthurt lolz!). Was called out on his h8trd for Goths which caused several gigawatts of baaaw, as h8 makes t3h baby Jesus cry.

* Nemi/She shall not be named - An unconvincing psuedo goth who seems as bout as fair and ladylike as a baseball bat wrapped in barb wire ''(and apparently, any male that is not drawn to her is scared of real women)''. Seems to be the only female member of the forum aswell. More than likely posts there as leelad seems to be one of the very very few forum communities out there that actually care to hear her views, teenage tantrum like rants and opinions on things.

* Hermes Scarfe - An unpleasant snobby middle aged woman who has often self-documented that her profession is a Teacher. One would believe that the reason she has often self-documented this fact, is because she believes that being a Teacher automatically makes her such an important contributor to society in general, that it means she is free to act as obnoxious, snobby and condescending as much and often as she likes

* Finn - Token ginger Welsh Viking. Posts TL;DR stuff that most people read despite what they post. Makes his posts really really long, and goes off on verbose rants all the time as he obviously heavily over annalyses everything or thinks it makes him look more cleverer. He is the sought of person where, if you asked him to point to his left ear, he would lift up his right arm, wrap it round his head and do it that way.

* [[MixandMatch|Euroboy]] - One of the most deluded people on the planet. Thinks he always owns people all the time, and owns the forums he trolls on, but in reality, doesnt even have the brain power to own a hamburger.

* Pricey - "Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol... c-c-c-c-c-cocaine".

* Crabbypants - banned ages ago eh? Has the intelligence of an American eh? Attempts to post utter balderdash in an effort to appear quirky and interesting eh? Still won’t post nudes eh? Made out that she had a threesome when in actual was too stoned to do anything eh? Appears to like the abuse she gets on the forum eh?

* CHB/I Ronnie - The overgrown fratt boy of the forum. There does appear to be a considerable difference between the level of intelligence he posses compared to most of the other forums members (and to his credit, in his favour). But however, the levels seem pretty much the same when it comes to the factor of social issues. He often appears to offer himself up as a keyboard mercenary for all the others to hide behind, when arguments and debates rise above the difficulty level of novice. If anybody out there could take a pee down your back on a sunny day, but convince you to believe that it was rain, he could.

* Webs, a torettes sufferer that has developed a serious case of erotomania towards Finn. Is currently pre-occupied with posting the word 'anus' ad infinitum. Is currently suffering from ginger cock withdrawel resulting in him posting the address of leelad.net on other forums hoping that they'll troll the place into the ground. Hell hath no fury liek a 'troll' scorned.

* Kuntz: arguably the biggest case of butthurt the web has ever seen, a poster with an ass so raw and tender that each Christmas three wise men follow him around the place hoping to find the messiah. Once posted that he was a 'nice guy' because he was helping a heroin addict get clean while also claiming that he owned a DVD and widescreen TV. The bullshit is strong in this one. Recently his IP has been noted to be the same as resident village idiot Robfalcon, it is likely that this means that Kuntz is possibly a blood relative meaning that posters should not treat what he has written as if it came from a normal person.

==<s>Current Status</s> Moar bullshit from Kuntz==

As of 2008, and as a direct result of defeating it's only competition, leelad.net is finally a thriving and prosperous forum of unlimited intellectual debate, [[Bullshit|as evidenced by it's chart-topping 3 active members per day statistics]]. (Translation: Waaaah! I rly miss Chavscum! Waaaah!) Popular topics include the funny aspects of paedophillia, terminal illness and rape. [[Lie|The British medias recent coverage of reclassifying hate crime has also inspired the forums only Cristian member to ressurected the topic of condoning acts of violence motivated by social intolerance.]] (Link or STFU Kuntz)

Custom avatars such as 7 year old manga girls with surgically attached penises are currently all the rage. Like all popular forums, particular ones that take pride in their lawless environment, logic only dictates that half it's members are required to be assigned as moderators. Common debates over who should rape Colins (step)children first are now considered passe due to his divorce, however, there are still day to day arguments as to which of their members is responsible for the Madeline MCCan kidnapping.

Paedo-hunting is still their sport of choice. Interpol are rumoured to have requested their services and agreed to reduce their charges if their leads prove useful, as experts have agreed that only like could possibly detect like via anonymous observation. Contrary to popular belief leelad.net is not despised by the masses and has in fact a growing cult following on the nets. Current fanboys/girls of the leelad.net community consist of a literate imaginary scientist who thinks he's a psychologist, an over 30 goth who thinks it's natural to drag a subculture into her middle age and beyond, an acne ridden punchbag who lost his virginity to an illegal immigrant, and a naive 14 year old girl who gets aroused by grown men who conduct themselves as her peers.

==Common Quotes and Phrases that are/were often recycled==

{{squote|Hi, I'm €uroboy| Look up your daughters}}

{{squote|Virgin!!!| Common welcome given to Robfalcon }}

{{squote|Hi Spike| Welcome given to a wedding dress designing, Rolex wearing, ladyboy loving Jedi who fears the race card}}

==See Also==
*[[Troll]]
*[[ChavScum]]
*[[Rape]]
*[http://www.chavscum-resurrection.co.uk/ ChavScum Resurrection ]
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8naoz_leelad-information-films-pif-parody_fun/ A Leelad Information Films commercial ]
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8nl96_nemi-from-the-block_fun/ A look at how Nemi probably is in real life ]
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