Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Donald Buffkin

2026-02-19T05:52:45Z

File:RfOrPKmQ.jpeg

2026-02-11T08:54:17Z

MetalStapler:

File:WeZkZ77.jpg

2026-02-11T08:53:58Z

MetalStapler:

File:Lmaobdayk.png

2026-02-11T08:52:08Z

MetalStapler:

Donald Buffkin

2026-02-11T07:52:23Z

2026-01-11T20:23:01Z

MetalStapler:

{{main|Tablecow}}
{{eduser|Digimon}}
{{watch}}
{{aspie}}
{{gotis}}
[[File:Dbhump2.jpg|270px|thumb|right]]
[[file:Donniefacebook.jpeg|220px|thumb|right|Full retardation intact.]]
[[File:Tablefailure1.png|220px|thumb|right]]
[[File:Tablecow2014.jpg|220px|thumb|right]]
[[File:Donald buffkin fb1.jpg|thumb|right]]

<center>{{morphquote|mqtest|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<wikiaddict> Oh no, what did you take pictures of yourself doing?<br><bomberman> Fully clothed and hugging a carpet.| Oh the wholesomeness!
|<bomberman> I am a male named Donald Buffkin residing in Jacksonville Florida.|WARNING TO ALL POTENTIAL EMPLOYERS! THIS MAN IS A HARD WORKER AND HAS A HISTORY OF [[Awesome|BEING ON TIME, EARLY, EVEN]] TO ALL OF HIS PAST JOBS [[Asking for it|HIRE HIM]]!}}
</center>

'''Bombermanfan''' (a.k.a. '''[[Tablecow]]''', '''[[Pokemon|Digimon]]''', '''[[lolwut|Donnie]]''', and '''[[Powerword|(((Donald Rowland Buffkin)))]]'''; born February 11, 1993) {{jew}} is a {{Age|1993|2|11}}-year old self-admitted fierce tiger, badass troll, and overall swell guy in Jacksonville, FL, who has become notorious on several forums for posing as a woman and thinking that the name "''bombermanfan''" would go undetected to other users at the forum he had previously been [[b&|banned]] from while using the username "''bomberman''".

He has a long and wholesome history of loving his [[cat]], Frosty, and [[Secks|loving others]], and also has admitted to having a swag problem and a big[[penis|heart]]. After repeatedly flaming and trolling on various forums and YouTube accounts and having [[nudes]] of him humping a carpet leaked, Bomber attempted to purge himself from the internet by spamming numerous misspelled [[BAWWW|emo-rants]] and issuing empty threats of hacking... [[CSIII]], act like you know nigga!

He then made a [[Chad]] out of himself in [[ED IRC]] by conducting epic floods, making people get his articles taken down, and threatening to [[Taking down ED|take down ED]] by [[Facepalm|pasting YouTube links into IRC]]. You can find Donnie today using [[Sockpuppet|sock accounts]] to attempt to make ED seemingly a better, more wholesome place. [[Chris-Chan]], [[Kumichoo]], [[Null]], [[Taekesi]], and a few others are some of Donald's favorite [[lolcow|lolcows]].

==McLeodGaming==

[[File:Bomberban.PNG|thumb|right|The entire user base supported him all the way...]]
[[File:Bombermanraid.jpg|thumb|right|Bomberman's failed raid of McLeod after being banned.]]
{{Quote|my name is bombermanfan and i have no connection to bomberman|Hey guys, I think this one is legit}}
{{Quote|I never ddosed anything. I never hacked anything. I lied about my bro hacking to scare the trolls on McLeodGaming|How can we trust ANYTHING you say?!?!}}

Bomber gained quick popularity on the [[McLeodGaming]] forums for, in all essence, rising to the top as resident Autist of several gaming communities. Numerous complaints were sent into the site about his emo posts and threats against other users, ultimately leading to him being [[banned|executed]] from the forums.

{{squote|Unfortunately it's not fully about breaking rules this time, '''you basically became a nuisance''' to the majority of members on the forums with '''all your complaints and such'''. I can't keep you on the forums if you're going to disrupt the place, and I feel that you have trouble getting along with other users and vice versa, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave. There's other places besides MG, so don't feel like it's the end of the world just cuz you can't log in, you can still look around if you want. But you bring too much drama to the forums and with the new policy I need to start controlling who I let on my forums, since if I don't it will be come unmanageable and I'll never get SSF2 done |The exact reason for his ban, although he claims it was because the admin simply didn't like him}}

===Sockpuppetry===

[[File:Isbomberman.PNG|thumb|right|The furfag makes a good point.]]
[[File:Donald buffkin fb2.jpg|thumb|right|CUNT IN THE HEADLIGHTS!]]
[[File:Donald Buffkin takedown.jpg|thumb|Donnie did ED. Never forget.]]
Not getting the hint, Bomberman came back under the name "Bombermanfan", a name that would typically require the advanced sock hunting skills of any given rogue admin on [[TOW]]. Fortunately, the McLeod community was able to detect the obvious sock by noticing he copypasta'd the same rants used to appeal his original ban, only altering them to be third person.

{{squote|i am not bomberman but i asked my friend about why bomberman was hated and you guys mostly have false presumptions
that is not hacking
that was a raid and it is nothing compared to the old raid bomberman was harassed earlier
on the old forums they called him b$%&# and claimed to have his photograph despite it all being a masterminded scheme to teach a lesson against sexism

bomberman was banned on the forum for no reason other than trolls hating him and then did the raid which lasted like one message
bomberman was banned right after making a topic called f#%$& you

that is hardly anything to what ryankajito and the others did to the old forums

in essence bomberman was banned multiple times because trolls practically ran the old mg and bomberman was then permabanned for such reason
bomberman was told that he (not she and you guys need to seriously take that out of the article) he was not welcomeback
bomberman did not "hack" mg and to my knowledge noone did (yes not even ryankajito)

bomberman never "raided" the forums either because when he tried to keep making topics telling cleod the f-word the computer was really slow (watch the video) and only one topic was made (which was swiftly deleted and noone saw)
if you call that a raid the old forums had horrendous images posted in its raids constantly}}

==Delicious logs==

{{cs2|log|[[Furfag]] and 1337 [[h4x0r]] brother|
Kyzak says: BOMBERMAN SAYS
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Bomber says you're a jerk Slayar
§łǻүąя says: Okay
Kyzak says: SHE WANTS TO SUCK YOU OFF
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
bomberman says: NO
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Slayar jerk a you're says Bomber
§łǻүąя says: Lolwut
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: And I
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: <nowiki>*</nowiki>gets popcorn*
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: No
Kyzak says: Srsly, Slayar
§łǻүąя says: Share some with me
Kyzak says: she wants to suck you off
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: D:
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: She wants to flip you off
§łǻүąя says: I'mm hungry
bomberman says: say he will be banned by friday prolly
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: <nowiki>*</nowiki>hands some popcorn*
Kyzak says: OH
§łǻүąя says: Thanks
Kyzak says: SHE WANTS TO GO ALL THE WAY,
Kyzak says: SLAYAR
Kyzak says: MAN
Kyzak says: LUCKY YOU
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: You'll be banned by friday probably, sez bomber
bomberman says: NO
§łǻүąя says: Lmfao
Kyzak says: GET TO TORTURE THE BITCH AND GET LAID BY HER
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Bomber
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Repeat after me
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: wasn't the new demo supposed to be out today? >_>
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: t(-.-t)
§łǻүąя says: Lol
Kyzak says: stfurawr
Kyzak says: stop fucking begging for demos
§łǻүąя says: SMILIES
Kyzak says: Full is never gonna cum out
§łǻүąя says: THEY HURT
bomberman says: Shut up kyzak
Kyzak says: of cleod's cum penis
§łǻүąя says: MY SOOUUULL
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
Kyzak says: WHAT THE FUCK
Kyzak says: ROYMASTER4]
Kyzak says: IS A MOD
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: FTW
§łǻүąя says: You just noticed?
Kyzak says: FTFL
Kyzak says: STS
bomberman says: Tell slayar he needs to get help
Kyzak says: Slayar
Kyzak says: She needs help
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Slayar, you need to get help
Kyzak says: have any friends to help her suck you off?
bomberman says: stop bullying people that it wont fix his problems
§łǻүąя says: What?
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: hmm?
§łǻүąя says: I was starting up hl2
§łǻүąя says: Something about help?
Kyzak says: leave the conversation
Kyzak says: den
Kyzak says: Also
Kyzak says: She needs help sucking you off
Kyzak says: that's what she said
§łǻүąя says: Lololol
§łǻүąя says: I wouldn't let her touch me with a 50 foot poll
§łǻүąя says: Pole*
Kyzak says: Yeh
Kyzak says: She r ugly
Kyzak says: fugly even
§łǻүąя says: Meh
§łǻүąя says: Not fugly
bomberman says: OMG FUCKING SHUT UP
Kyzak says: She should just go be an hero
§łǻүąя says: But that nose creeps me out
Kyzak says: amirite, gais?
§łǻүąя says: She has a fucking HUGE nose
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: true that
bomberman says: leave me alone
§łǻүąя says: You could drive a semi in that thing
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: ya
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I'll go Jackie Chan on yall
bomberman says: ill show yall
Kyzak says: How much of a whore you are?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: PERMA BLOCK'D
bomberman says: grow up
bomberman says: Kyzak
§łǻүąя says: Lmao
§łǻүąя says: Kay so kyzak
Kyzak says: Yahrite, Mike
Kyzak says: I'm finished.
bomberman says: BYE
Kyzak says: Bomberwummen has been pwnt.
bomberman says: No
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: You all need another chance
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: CLEOD STYLE FTW
Kyzak says: We've had a thousand chances.
bomberman says: Because Im sending this to cleod HA
Kyzak says: Cleod style?
§łǻүąя says: That's like
§łǻүąя says: When
Kyzak says: Cleod style is permaban if you get one demerit
§łǻүąя says: I'MA PERMA
Kyzak says: one moar demerit*
§łǻүąя says: And then
§łǻүąя says: i'll let you off in a week
Kyzak says: Only
bomberman says: IM ALLREADY PERMA BANNED
Kyzak says: With bomberwummen
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: What happened to giving 30247320 chances?
Kyzak says: It's
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: THAT'S CLEOD STYLE
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: DUMBASS
Kyzak says: "GIVEING YOU ANOTHER CHANCE"
Kyzak says: 3 minutes latar
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I have now turned green
bomberman says: Brb im going to go get my bros book on ips
Kyzak says: I'm silver.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: and grown 3409372074302730743749032 my original size
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: YOU FUCKING HEDGEHOG
Kyzak says: And I can throw silver board into your stomache.
Kyzak says: GOOOORE.
§łǻүąя says: Well, how do i shot web?
Kyzak says: Well
Kyzak says: First
Kyzak says: You fiar your lazar
Kyzak says: Then you stop using really old memes and being cancer for all of the interblargh.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I'm now going to jump on buildings, rip cars in half, and do a whole bunch of other crap for no reason
§łǻүąя says: Old memes are better than new ones
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: But
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: eh
§łǻүąя says: By a long shot
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Squirtle
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Could
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: KICK
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: MY
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: ASS
Kyzak says: But ehh,
Kyzak says: You fail at using memes.
§łǻүąя says: THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE
§łǻүąя says: oR
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: You fail at fuckin LIEF
§łǻүąя says: How does i shot web?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: k?
Kyzak says: But ehh, squitrle could kick all of their asses.
Kyzak says: MARSHTOMP
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: :wee:
Kyzak says: BITCHES
Kyzak says: Marshtomp
Kyzak says: Can go
Kyzak says: "MARSH!"
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Bungie Security Guard FTW
Kyzak says: "TOMP!"
§łǻүąя says: KAY TIEM TO PLAI HL2
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Hai giz
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: <nowiki>*</nowiki>giez
Kyzak says: ..
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: i r get sega's new console
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: the Puu
Kyzak says: i r get fap fap fap.
Kyzak says: [/fake]
§łǻүąя says: K be back later
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: DON'T
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: DON'T BE BACK LATER
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: FUCKTARD
Kyzak says: Well
Kyzak says: One thing to do nao
Kyzak says: go use that picture Despot gave me of Winry. <3
§łǻүąя says: Lawl
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: or use Bombers ya whore
§łǻүąя says: Ehh
Kyzak says: HAY MIKE
Kyzak says: WANT SOME FMA PORN?
bomberman says: lucky i couldnt find it
§łǻүąя has left the conversation.
Kyzak says: ANYONE?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: no
Kyzak says: FMA PORN?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: FMA PORN IS FUCKING GAY
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: SONIC IS THE NEW FMA
Kyzak says: ..
Kyzak says: Fucking furfag.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: .....................
Kyzak says: Yiff in hell.
Kyzak says: You motherfucker
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: xD
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: There's actually something I can and WILL do
bomberman says: he could mess up the whole internet if he wanted to
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: LMAO.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Impossible
§łǻүąя says: AHAHAHAHAH
§łǻүąя says: Wow
§łǻүąя says: Jesus bomberman
§łǻүąя says: You'll beleive anything
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: anyone can do that
bomberman says: shut up
Kyzak says: Bomberwummenthatbelongsinthekitchen
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: My dad works for an internet company
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: all they gotta do is hack myspace
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: he can send emails
bomberman says: I KNOW MIKE
Kyzak says: GO MAKE ME A SAMMITCH, BITCH!
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: from other people's email addresses
§łǻүąя says: There's the word Faggot on the ceiling
bomberman says: Shut up Kyzak
§łǻүąя says: Look up
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: (not to you, bomber)
§łǻүąя says: I bet she looked
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: hmmm
Kyzak says: That must be what happened to Sir Pedophile The Curved Dick
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: now I want a sammich D:
bomberman says: Shut up slayar
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: So if I really want to
§łǻүąя says: NO U
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I can spam people using your own email addresses
Kyzak says: so do I, rawr
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Oshi?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Ya, I'm thinkin OSHI
Kyzak says: YOSHI.
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
Kyzak says: OHSHI-- YOU!
Kyzak says: That's what Kirby says
Kyzak says: During using
Kyzak says: TEH DREAMZ SWORD
Kyzak says: IN TEH BRAWL.
Kyzak says: AND TEH SSF.
Kyzak says: AND TEH PENIS.
bomberman says: Its the not teh
Kyzak says: stfuniggerwumme
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: not teh...
§łǻүąя says: Lmfao
Kyzak says: n
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: naughty?
§łǻүąя says: hey kyzak
Kyzak says: Yus?
§łǻүąя says: Is it okay to delete the folder that you get from downloading the torrent
§łǻүąя says: After it's installed
Kyzak says: yus
§łǻүąя says: k
bomberman says: Im sending this to cleod
Kyzak says: Go ahead.
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: zomg wii is blue
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: brb
Kyzak says: It's not on the fucking forums
Kyzak says: So he can't do shit.
bomberman says: he will unban me
bomberman says: and ban yall
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I have a good question
§łǻүąя says: Lmfao
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: That will be laughed at
Kyzak says: Whatever you need to tell yourself.
§łǻүąя says: YOU DON'T GET THE POINT YOU FUCKTARD
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: And not answered
§łǻүąя says: HE BANNED YOU ALL
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: But I'm going to ask it anyways
Kyzak says: What, Mike?
bomberman says: i dont see proof
Kyzak says: .
§łǻүąя says: OH really
§łǻүąя says: Okay
§łǻүąя says: Hold on
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: How does Bomber know who I am?
Kyzak says: Because she's a fucking stalker bitchnigger
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Besides that
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: (Just kidding Bomber)
bomberman says: ._.
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: back >_>
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: stupid snapshot
Kyzak says: Snapshot
Kyzak says: Of you?
Kyzak says: Stripping
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: no
Kyzak says: Lolololo
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: brawl D:
§łǻүąя says: Post suggestions, and I'll add. For those who don't know about this yet, you'll see very soon.
Noobs and underaged users who should be banned:
gun_man
cody25
danieldoo
iamweirdha
iluvpuddingtea4eva
christian
Nate Rivers
Bomberman
clumzy
Olimar
Dk Pwns Brawl
brawler
Arod2
bigmitch
novajjavon
haingi
shadow yoshi
One Winged Angel
Meerkats
minigamer
CyberTheHedgehog
riq5
The Darkness Within
spade
§łǻүąя says: From cleod
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: You racist bastard...
§łǻүąя says: And there's more names
bomberman says: you made that up
Kyzak says: ..
§łǻүąя says: No
Kyzak says: Slayar
§łǻүąя says: I didn't
Kyzak says: You idiot.
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: oh
§łǻүąя says: Fucktard
Kyzak says: You fucking idiot.
bomberman says: yes you did
Kyzak says: IT WAS A FUCKING SECRET FOR A FUCKING REASON.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: MUAHAHAHAHAHA
Kyzak says: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING REVEAL IT?
bomberman says: unless its posted on the actual forums i dont buy it
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I was wondering why I wasn't there D:
§łǻүąя says: It's already been done kyzak
Kyzak says: WELL, SINCE YOU'VE GONE AND FUCKING DONE IT
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I should probably be doing my homework...
Kyzak says: GIVE 'IM A SCREENIE
Kyzak says: OF THE LIST
Kyzak says: AND TOPIC
§łǻүąя says: Kyzak, relax
§łǻүąя says: It's already been done
§łǻүąя says: Everyone on that list is banned
Kyzak says: Juuussssttt
Kyzak says: taaakkkeee
Kyzak says: aaaaa
Kyzak says: screeeeennnshoooot
Kyzak says: annnndshoooooowwww theeeeeem.
§łǻүąя says: k
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: <_<
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: >_>
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: O_O
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: AARRRRR YA REDAY KIDZ!
bomberman says: Plus he said he had a banlist
Kyzak says: FUCK OFF, RAPISTMOTHERFUCKIN' BITCH
bomberman says: he would post
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I KANT HEEEERRRR U
Kyzak says: FUCK OFF, ESA HASU!
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
bomberman says: Kyzak why dont you post your pic
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: WHO LIVES IN A PINAPPLE UNDER DA C?!
Kyzak says: FAUKRON PAUNCH!
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: <nowiki>*</nowiki>some stuff I don't know*
bomberman says: you have self esteem issues so you pick on me
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: IF NONSENSICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHIN U WISH
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: D:
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: DEN DROP ON DEH DEK AN FLOP LIEK A FEESH!
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: READY?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: SPONGIIIEEEEE BOBBBB SKWAR PANTS!!!
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: AHAH,AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo
Kyzak says: You, sir.
Kyzak says: Are epic fail.
bomberman says: Kyzak you have self esteem problems
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Why do you look in the mirror so much, Kyzak?
bomberman says: picking on me mike and others
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
Kyzak says: I don't pick on mike.]
Kyzak says: Mike is kewl.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: :wee:
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: <nowiki>*</nowiki>hasn't been "picked on"*
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: DAMN STRAIGHT
Kyzak says: I'm just a douche when I play around.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: YAY FOR FUCKTARDEDNESS!
bomberman says: what ever Kyzak
Kyzak says: At any rate
bomberman says: you play around with peoples feelings
Kyzak says: The only one being picked on
Kyzak says: Is you.
bomberman says: because your afraid of your own
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Bomber
Kyzak says: Observations are fail.
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: have a sense of humor
§łǻүąя says: She can't
§łǻүąя says: She's a wummen
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: just let yourself loose, suck in all data
§łǻүąя says: She takes everything in
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I'm scared
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: bomberman is saying something other than lo.ll
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: D:
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: and let yourself only see, hear, feel, taste, and smell
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Spongebob
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Fresh Prince
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Youtube Poop
bomberman says: im definatley sending this whole chat to cleod
bomberman says: so HA
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: and anything else stupid yet funny
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Then you will have my sense of humor
Kyzak says: NO
Kyzak says: You're going to edit it.
Kyzak says: To make you look like a complete
Kyzak says: Utter
Kyzak says: Victim.
bomberman says: no i wont
Kyzak says: Yes, you will.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: And we will get married and have kids and IF YOU THINK THIS MESSAGE IS SERIOUS THEN YOU NEED HELP
Kyzak says: You're enough of a lieing wummen.
bomberman says: Shut up seriously
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Oompa
bomberman says: good luck with beating cleod mike
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Doompa
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Doopadee doo
bomberman says: rub it in there face when you do
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I've got a perfect puzzle for you (KEEP YO DAMN PUZZLES TO YO SELF!)
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: (okay)
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Doompa, doompa, doopadee day
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: This is the first puzzle today
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: And some stuff I dun no
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I just accidentally slapped myself... I don't even know how
Kyzak says: ..
Kyzak says: nub
§łǻүąя says: Lol
§łǻүąя says: You slapped yourself
§łǻүąя says: And you don't know how?
§łǻүąя says: Nice
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: ya
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I was messing around
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Pretending to be an airplane
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Because I feel like acting like a 3 year old today
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: And I made my arm go up
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: And apparently I slapped myself
bomberman says: Slayar is offline
bomberman says: mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: No
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: He blocked you
bomberman says: Tell slayar hes a jerk
bomberman says: and he will be banned soon
Kyzak says: HAY SLAYAR
}}

{{cs2|log2|Users attempting to explain the situation to Bomber|
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: bomberman says: hey
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: internet, phone, and cable is finally back
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: ^_^
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) has been added to the conversation.
bomberman says: lol
§łǻүąя has been added to the conversation.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I win
bomberman says: hey slayar
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: k?
bomberman says: mike you beat cleod?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: not yet
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: hopefully I can find out soon
bomberman says: ok
bomberman says: i cant believe im banned
§łǻүąя says: Oh
§łǻүąя says: I know why
§łǻүąя says: Because you where being a bitch about it the first 4 times
§łǻүąя says: BAWWWW CLEOD
§łǻүąя says: UNBAN ME PLEEEASSEE
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: >_>
§łǻүąя says: And he finally perma'd you
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: D:
bomberman says: cleod will unban me maybe
§łǻүąя says: No
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: yeah right
§łǻүąя says: He won't
bomberman says: idk
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I might be unbanned
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: D:
§łǻүąя says: He's the one that banned you
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: not to bomber
§łǻүąя says: And all the others
bomberman says: why?
§łǻүąя says: Look around
§łǻүąя says: Notice how all the noobs/people we hate are banned
§łǻүąя says: Yeah
bomberman says: battoubro was?
§łǻүąя says: Cleod went on a banning spree
§łǻүąя says: Yep
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Then why are you still herE?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: <nowiki>*</nowiki>e
§łǻүąя says: Because
bomberman says: an olimar?
§łǻүąя says: yep
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Hey
bomberman says: ok
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I wasn't banned because of that
§łǻүąя says: You where banned a long time ago
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I was banned because Cleod re-read my 'threats'
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: no
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I went on vacation
§łǻүąя says: You where banned because of those gay ass threats that you never went through with
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: And forgot about MCG for a while
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: well I wanted to be banned >_<
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Yeah, because I was fucking JOKING
Kyzak has been added to the conversation.
bomberman says: slayar how come cleod doesnt talk about it
§łǻүąя says: No
§łǻүąя says: You wern't
§łǻүąя says: And he does
§łǻүąя says: In LD
§łǻүąя says: Place where the smart people hang out
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Hey Kyzak, can I ask you something?
bomberman says: he should inform people
Kyzak says: If you take off that text that seems to be covered with red shit
Kyzak says: Sure
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Did you unblock me?
Kyzak says: I never blocked you, lul
bomberman says: omg kyzak leave
Kyzak says: I appeared offline and closed your messages.
bomberman says: please someone tell kyzak to leave
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Text color fixed! :Wee:
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Wow
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: That looks gay
bomberman says: he blocked me
§łǻүąя says: Lmfao
§łǻүąя says: HE BLOCKED ME
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
bomberman says: and he is annoying
§łǻүąя says: GET HIM TO LEAVE
§łǻүąя says: No
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: xD
§łǻүąя says: He is awesome
§łǻүąя says: Unlike you
bomberman says: he makes sexist stuff
§łǻүąя says: Well dur
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: My text looks like links! :wee:
§łǻүąя says: Wummen do not belong on teh internet
Kyzak says: Ask away, Mike, mah friend.
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I already did
§łǻүąя says: They belong in the kitchen
Kyzak says: You did?
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I wanted to see if you still had me blocked
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: You answered before I asked, lulz
bomberman says: Slayar you had a negative experience with a woman when you were little?
Kyzak says: I wouldn't have responded to your earlier text
§łǻүąя says: Lmfao
§łǻүąя says: LMFAO
Kyzak says: If you were still blocked
§łǻүąя says: AHAHAHAYHA
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: >_>
bomberman says: thats why you are sexist
§łǻүąя says: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
§łǻүąя says: OH MY FUCKING GOD
§łǻүąя says: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Slayar got kicked in the nuts by a little girl. Repeatedly.
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I GOTZ A SEXIST JOKE
§łǻүąя says: WOW
Kyzak says: WHO R RAWR?
§łǻүąя says: BOMBERMAN YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD
Kyzak says: TELL ME WHO R RAWR
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: why shouldn't women get drivers licenses
§łǻүąя says: IT'S A KNOWN FACT
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I have a really funny joke
bomberman says: shut up
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I tell it you joo!
§łǻүąя says: THAT WUMMEN BELONG IN THE KITCHEN
Kyzak says: Because they're fucking stupid?
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: cuz there isn't any roads in the kitchen
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: >_>
§łǻүąя says: Lawl
Kyzak says: No
Kyzak says: It's because
Kyzak says: They're fucking stupid.
Kyzak says: Amirmite, guys?
§łǻүąя says: lawl
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: D:
bomberman says: if i sent this to cleod like kyzaks chat youd all be on his bad side
§łǻүąя says: mike blocked you
§łǻүąя says: me
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: but I'm banned
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: so I AM
§łǻүąя says: Lmfao
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: uhm
§łǻүąя says: SO
§łǻүąя says: AHAHAHAHAH
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: did I just block someone?
§łǻүąя says: me
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I think so
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: xD
bomberman says: shut up slayar
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: I'm almost certain...
bomberman says: your lucky my brother isnt on
§łǻүąя says: Or what?
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: that it was SLAYAR!
§łǻүąя says: Huh?
Kyzak says: LOL.
Kyzak says: WHOMG
Kyzak says: WHOMG
Kyzak says: UR BROTHER
Kyzak says: IF HE EVEN EXISTS
bomberman says: hes good with computers
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: D:
§łǻүąя says: So?
§łǻүąя says: OH MY GOD
mikepowerthewolf@gmail.com (E-mail address not verified) says: Hey
§łǻүąя says: HE'S GOOD WITH COMPS
rawr392@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says: lol
§łǻүąя says: RUN FOR THE HILLS
§łǻүąя says: RUUUUNNNN
Kyzak says: IS A RETARDED FUCKING 30 YEAR OLD SITTING IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT MASTURBATING HIS ASS OFF TO A FUCKING LION CUB FUCKING A DOG.
}}

==What the fuck am I reading?==

[[File:Bombermanrant.PNG|thumb|right|lolwut?]]
[[File:Bombermanemo3.PNG|thumb|right]]
'''[[PROTIP]]''': Bomberman has admitted to having a bad router password, so if you live in his area of Jacksonville, [[Florida]], and have passed [[Computer Science III]], be sure to hack into his router and redirect all of his traffic to [[Last Measure]].
{{Quote|i am not pretending to understand cybernetic concepts i am merely attempting to have understanding as to why i refuse to enter skype conversations maybe you are right on the ip part but i do not like being tricked and this seems to me to be like a dirty trick that you are concocting i mean i am not saying you are a bad person i actually think you are quite to the contrast and a good person because you decided to be my friend even though i am the prey and not a fellow hunter which is in my view what this is because i am taking a psychology course in highschool and i view this whole thing as a struggle for power and by keeping my article up you guys maintain power i am just begging and pleading you guys to consider locking my article and perhaps updating the lie in the mcleod gaming one that i am a girl "bomberbitch" and change it to i am a guy and you can add that i am an emo or whatever other labels you see fit is that too much to ask}}

===BONUS: Even More Faggotry and Whining===

<center>{{morphquote|BMFAN|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|YOU ARE CHERRY PICKING WHAT I SAY|You're goddamn right we are!
|Plus someone hacked my phones and spread my nudes around|bombermanfan
|I am sick of the death threats| bombermanfan
|No seriously, I am sick of living in fear each day.| bombermanfan
|ts unfortunate that people actually believe some of the [[truth|shit]] your site says about me| bombermanfan
|I am sick of being [[Jews|betrayed]] by [[IHM|people]] online| bombermanfan
|[[fail|I may not be good with computers.I may be an outcast/misfit online/offline, And I may die soon from encyclopediadramatica,But I would rather die young than old anyways]].| bombermanfan
|i am worse than encyclopedia dramatica ever could dream of| Fear This
|I have no friends and someone hacked my phone| bombermanfan
|You all ruined my life If you all would not of fucking [[AOTN|featured my article]] over the summer maybe I would I forgotten about this.| bombermanfan
|I did not know at the time that my articles would be used to harass me offline| bombermanfan
|I apologize for upsetting your wiki. I think it would work best for both of us if you take down my article.| bombermanfan
|[[No|So are we ever doing to talk about getting those articles removed?]]| bombermanfan
|as you can see i am your pretty standard failure on the internet| hoping to step it up to the next level
|[[Goodnight sweet prince|bomberman [Mibbit@wtfux-FF472981.hsd1.fl.comcast.net] has quit [client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client]
bomberman [Mibbit@wtfux-FF472981.hsd1.fl.comcast.net] has left #wiki []]]| bombermanfan
}}</center>

*Florida = I am batshit crazy.
*Mibbit = I am as dumb as a bag of rocks.

==His stance on ED==

[[File:Rugburn.jpg|thumb|right|Rugburn. Donny has it.]]

{{quote|i really need that article about me taken down as it causes me a blistering [[pain]] and reminds me how the world turns against me i would really appreciate having my article down before it causes me personal harassment
i can give you me msn which is bomberman_22@live.com and hopefully we can discuss things i was wrong to use my hacker brother to threaten your site but i am just afraid and would really appreciate all of this going away| bombermanfan}}

Bomberman really hates that there is any mention of him on ED. At every chance he gets, he will attempt to [[Delete everything|blank]] any pages related to him, post death threats by spamming links to images of dead animals and saying "this is what will happen to you", as well as his trademark threats of hacking from his alleged older brother. Some of his blocked socks include:

[[File:Giving_Fucks_-_Where_To_Put_It.gif|thumb|right|ED's reaction to Buffkins sockpuppets in a nutshell.]]

*[[Special:Contributions/Bomber|Bomber]]
*[[Special:Contributions/FriendofBomberman|FriendofBomberman]]
*[[Special:Contributions/UnbanBomberman|UnbanBomberban]]
*[[Special:Contributions/Bomberman|Bomberman]]
*[[Special:Contributions/Antibomberman|Antibomberman]]
*[[Special:Contributions/Bomb|Bomb]]
*[[Special:Contributions/MulberryMonster|MulberryMonster]]
*[[Special:Contributions/KrappleguyFan|KrappleguyFan]]
*[[Special:Contributions/Deletebombermanfromthemgarticleoritkeepsgoing|Deletebombermanfromthemgarticleoritkeepsgoing]]
*[[Special:Contributions/BowDownToZaiger|BowDownToZaiger]]
*[[Special:Contributions/XxxRAY111xxx|XxxRAY111xxx]]
*[[Special:Contributions/GoAheadChangeMyAccount|GoAheadChangeMyAccount]]
*[[Special:Contributions/DickTitan|DickTitan]]
*[[Special:Contributions/Digimon|Digimon]]
*[[Special:Contributions/EncycIopediaDramatica|EncycIopediaDramatica]]
*[[Special:Contributions/TheSatanicAngel|TheSatanicAngel]]
*[[Special:Contributions/PowerManZero|PowerManZero]]
*[[Special:Contributions/Simmeh|Simmeh]]
*[[Special:Contributions/MelchettFan|MelchettFan]]
*[[Special:Contributions/Kellizar|Kellizar]]
*[[Special:Contributions/MyParrotBlu|MyParrotBlu]]
*[[Special:Contributions/KiwiFarms|KiwiFarms]]
*[[Special:Contributions/BitterBully|BitterBully]]
*[[Special:Contributions/RubberDildo|RubberDildo]]
*[[Special:Contributions/DoxingMeepsheep|DoxingMeepsheep]]
*[[Special:Contributions/JewHunter|JewHunter]]
*[[Special:Contributions/MyselfOfHadEpiphany‎|MyselfOfHadEpiphany‎]]

===DELETE MY ARTICLES PLS===
<center>{{morphquote|BMFAN2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME|Yes it is.
|<bomberman> i am an overly priveledged white boy| Illiterate too...
|<bomberman> the general gist of the video is that i am a fucking loser and i am just annoying| Feel the shame...
|<bomberman> [[Lie|Nothing wrong with being homosexual]]| Oops!
|<bomberman> Apparently I look like a bird according to some... I am not even emo (I know one of them called me a pretty boy emo *slur towards homosexuals*)| Yeah, we don't get it either. Possible connection to [[TsimFuckis]]?
|<Bomberman> Stop fucking smacking me with a digital fish... asshole|Doesn't know how to /me in IRC
}}</center>

Recently, Bomberman apparently taught himself how to use IRC and utilized this knowledge to complain about his Encyclopedia Dramatica article. After being told it was never going to be deleted, he BAWWWWWWWed about how [[Lolwut|ED is trolling itself]] by keeping the article up and how we are a bunch of big mean scary cyberbullies who stole his cyber lunch money.

<center>{{morphquote|BMFANMOARQUOTES|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<bomberman> i am trying to help you all| No.
|<bomberman> my name is Donald Buffkin i fucking fail at everything| [[Truth]]
|<bomberman> Because... I am kinda awkward but not a disorder| Totally NOT Autistic you guize!
|<bomberman> BECAUSE I CAN NOT SLEEP WELL KNOWING YOU ALL ARE MESSING WITH OTHERS| Meanwhile, Trolls slumber soundly...
|<bomberman> I do not want your pity. As said before I am a [[Internet tough guy|bad guy]]. ... I am not here to play games.| Recognise GAME
|<bomberman> I do troll sometimes but mainly I flame bait on forums. I am bad. I do not claim to be an angel.| Fail Troll
|<bomberman> I only troll people who are cyber bullying, Like LittleHitler for instance I trolled him. He was saying antisemitic stuff so I brought up how Germany lost both wars. [[Trolls remorse|I feel kind of bad about it]], he should not have started shit though. Look I am sorry to him... Maybe he should change his username| Bomberman PWNING THE FUCK out of LittleClitler
|<bomberman> IHM is someone I befriended a while ago. She is a troll but I think I upset her.| Captain Oblivious thinks trolls have feelings.
}}</center>

===Bomberman Plays Hardball===

[[File:stfudonny.jpg|thumb|right|AMIRONG?]]

Keep clicking there's some lulzy ones at the end.

<center>{{morphquote|BMFANHARDBALL|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|Okay look asshat. I have never hacked. I am not a hacker. Your wiki is lying about saying I hacked IRC. I am being framed by real hackers probably Taekesi.|I heard you [[Glenn Beck|raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.]]
|IHM is okay if you do not piss her off. I pissed her and MegaSavage off I think. They buddy up with people to turn them against me.|Yeah, looks like you pissed [[internet hate machine|"her"]] off.
|FredJuicy spammed me to kill myself. Unfortunately I do not have logs of the chats, or I would probably send them to the police (since you tried to get me to frame someone, and tried to get me to bomb).|Lol, go bomb, young bomberman!
|I told you all I would keep coming back| And so he has.
|So we can either negotiate or I can keep pestering your chat.| [[Asking for it]]
|How is this for a deal. ED takes down everyone elses personal articles and I allow ED to say anything about me if they do?| Thanks for your permission!
|I am willing to sacrifice myself for a greater purpose if necessary (its hard to type because my keys are sticky from the coke I spilled yesterday so apologies for typing slow).| I dont even know. Someone else take this one.
|You can merge all the articles into my articles and claim they are just sock accounts or paid actors/people by me if you want.| [[USI]]
|Then I will let you say whatever you want about me. Give you [[CP|nudes]] if you want. I am making concessions and trying to level with you all.| Hawt damn! Merge them articles already!
|Look I am a fan of FLCL, Futurama, etc. but I do not rage at those articles (they offend me a little) but I know it has points. The personal articles are just cyber bullying| lol.
|If I link youtube links than your bot adds another line of text... I can keep doing this| Proceeds to link a random youtube video about once every 3 minutes. OH GOD PLEASE STOP!
|Last time I was in here Dr_Rice nearly made me soil myself. This is just revenge basically.| lol.
|Fuck you...You are lying about fixing the article. I had a job. Your dumb ass articles got me fired. You all ruined my life.| bummer, dude.
|I am just trying to troll you because you trolled me. Everytime you say you are going to delete the fucking articles. Then I wake up and new shit is added. YOU ARE ALL ADDING NEW SHIT| Spamming refresh on his own article
|ban gretchen! gretchen added stuff! ban gretchen, ban _Jakebob| Yup, that's how it works!
|I was not technically fired but I was not rehired WHEN MY ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN! I had two jobs, one was seasonal, and only a select few made it to the non-busy parts of the year, i might have made the cut if ED did not write those articles| Yeah, they didnt want you because someone wrote things about you on the internet, and not at all because you're a complete fucktard.
|just came online to let you all know I woke up. my bed was drenched wet from sweat, I just want you all to know the stress this shit has been causing me.| Actually that's urine, bro.
}}</center>

==Bomberman's Beef with Taekesi==
[[File:NakedMattaekesi.jpg|thumb|right|Bomberman's arch-nemesis, [[Faggot|Taekesi]]]]
Apparently, some complete faggot called [[Taekesi]] has been trolling our beloved Donald Buptkiss. According to Donny/Bomberman, Taekesi is a group of trolls. They also run [[ED]]. As best as can be pieced together from his addled ramblings in [[irc]], it was a member of this group who convinced bomberman to [[lolwut|remove all of his clothing and take pictures of himself humping the carpet.]]

==BOMBERMAN ATTACKS IRC!==
[[File:Bomberman Formal Apology.JPG|200px|thumb|right|His formal apology. It won't happen again.]]
Sometime around 10:14 PM, March 17th, Bomberman attempted to [[flood]] #ed and #wiki and failed miserably. All his bots had names which were variants on Bomber####, Remove####, and bm####. The channels were flooded with "REMOVE "BOMBERMANFAN" FROM [[ED]] OR YOU [[Buttsecks|WILL FEEL THE PAIN"]] and "remove "bombermanfan" article right now!" He also attempted to query flood [[zaiger]] and the contributors to his article, but failed to even slow down anybodies' client.

According to devoted [[faggot|detectives]] that have been spending way too much time with The Donny Donster, these attacks were most likely NOT perpetrated by the real bomberman. He's too fucking stupid to pull off something like that.

Trying to keep himself relevant, Donny, our Donny, has told his 31337 h@xers to keep spamming [[ED IRC]]. At the height of the attacks said hackers unleashed a raging torrent of links to [[MCR|My Chemical Romance]] videos on [[youtube|JewTube.]] He still hasn't realized that begging for article deletion is just going to cement it to its place in ED for eternity. Maybe if he would send us some dick pics, we could work something out...yeah, maybe not.

{{Quote|<g2144> This will not stop til my article is removed. -bomberman}}

===It wasnt me!===

<center>{{morphquote|BMFANHAX|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|I DID NOT FUCKING FLOOD IRC|That's not gonna stop anyone from saying that you did.
|I COULD NOT HACK ANYTHING|Yup, probably not. Again that's not gonna stop us from blaming it on you.
|I NEVER DDOSed anyone! IT IS BECAUSE I WAS FRAMED BY REAL HACKERS!| lol, really? You're that [[USI|important]]?
|They knew I posted youtube links and set me up! Look I am almost crying right now. I am being set up.|Sweet sweet tears...
}}</center>

[[File:Donald Buffkin takedown.jpg|center]]

==OMG! Bomberman is, in fact, an EX-Troll!==

New information has come to light about Donald Buffkin's very [[sick fuck|DARK]] past! It has been revealed that Bomberman is himself an [[Troll's Remorse|ex]]-[[troll]]. Little is known about this [[women|period]] in his life, but it is very apparent that he is not merely an innocent [[almost raped|victim]] being preyed upon by merciless trolls. One can only speculate at how many lives have been destroyed by this heartless monster.

<center>{{morphquote|BMTROLL|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|[[Brittany Holechko|IHM]] was my "[[penis|boss]]" until I joined an antitroll group on youtube|Need you more proof of the horrific [[truth]]?
|I befriended her a while ago|In reference to [[Brittany Holechko|IHM]].
|I sometimes [[trolls trolling trolls|troll the troll]] to give them a taste of their own [[semen|medicine]]|Evil cyberbullying in the flesh!
|[[trolls trolling trolls|Trolls do not like being trolled]]. Its a fact.|Fight fire with...[[fail]]?}}
</center>
==MegaSavage==
Feuding with a skiddie named Vincent. Donald the dumbfuck is utterly terror stricken by the beaner.

<center><gallery>
File:meganegrosfail.jpeg
File:powerpain.jpeg
File:truefear.jpeg
File:meganigger.jpeg
File:megaedgelord.jpeg
File:megaedgelord2.jpeg
</gallery></center>

==Bman's Response to Being Featured==
Look up ungrateful in the dictionary. You will find Bomberman. Most people would be flattered at being prestigious enough in the hallowed halls of ED to make it to the great honor of being [[AOTN|AOTN]]. Unfortunately Bomberman has failed to recognize the gift bestowed upon him.

<center>{{morphquote|BMAOTN|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP MOCKING ME. Answer my fucking question. I DEMAND ANSWERS.|Ultimatum
|All my [[ugly|acne]] has been getting worse. I am [[ginger|red at the face]]. I am a [[lie|heterosexual]] [[Forever Alone|virgin that is attached to his hand]]. I do not share the struggle of the [[gay|LGBT]].|Only [[gay|faggots]] say LGBT.
|[[Stupid|WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ABOUT THE FISH GOD DAMNIT? THAT FUCKING FISH SHIT MAKES A BEEP SOUND ON MY COMPUTER WHEN IT IS TYPED OUT]].|lol.
|I have no life so I am online all the time. THEN YOU ALL RUIN MY ONLINE LIFE.|Go outside, bro. Or [[an hero|kill yourself]].
|I got fucking tons of calls today|You don't enjoy being [[whore|popular?]]
|SOMEONE TAKE IT DOWN. Then I will leave IRC. You will all be sparred of the pain I bring this chat. The misery. The agony, and the annoyance.|--- FredJuicy has banned *!*@wtfux-FF472981.hsd1.fl.comcast.net *** Bomberman was kicked by FredJuicy (kill yourself)
|Anyways. One last fuck you. And the message that MARK MY WORDS ED WILL PAY FOR THIS SHIT|ED better [[buy a dog]].}}
</center>

==Bomberman Returns==
In June 2023, a now 30-year-old Donald joined the {{Telegram|encyclopedia_dramatica2|ED Telegram}} after years of inactivity, demanding his article be deleted, and threatening the chat with his 1337 h4xx0r skills if his demands were not met. His reasoning was that girls won't fuck him after finding this article in his Google results.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:47] https://encyclopediadramatica.online/Donald_Buffkin delete please
God, [16/06/2023 15:52] Warning, user blanked his page before joining, I can't revert it right now
God, [16/06/2023 15:54] He did it to a few pages apparently. Don't know who you are but great way to bring attention to yourself
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:54] Let’s make a deal. I never come to ED ever again. You all take down the Donald Buffkin article or direct it to Meepsheep.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:55] That way I don’t have to hack ED again.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:55] I get tired of DDOSing and flooding ED with packets.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:55] Cloudflare does not protect a website entirely.
God, [16/06/2023 15:57] Oh, you're an OLD oldfag. Why did it take you 15 years to try to remove your page
Employer_Square, [16/06/2023 15:58] Not your personal army
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:58] I’m an ancient. Respect your elder zoomer
Employer_Square, [16/06/2023 15:58] @allyourbased second person this week to join and ask to have there article removed lol
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:59] Don’t revert anything
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 15:59] Redirect it to Meepsheep
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:00] Or delete it
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:00] I gave my ultimatum
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:00] If you kids want to test my hacking prowess… by all means.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:02] I have God on my side
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:02] I’ve been hacking since you kids were in diapers
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:06] Fake hacker
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:06] Gottem
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:07] Lmao, im 30. I have been hacking since I was 12
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:07] 18 years. Longer than most of you remember
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:07] You're old
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:08] Time to retire
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:08] Respect your elders
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:08] Ok boomer
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:08] This isn’t Asia. We don’t kiss the ass of the youth.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:09] This is the west where you are judged on your merits.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:09] I’m old but I have hacking knowledge beyond anything you kids can comprehend x
God, [16/06/2023 16:09] What brings you back here to ask for your article removed 15 years later
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:09] It’s preventing me from getting pussy
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:09] My Tinder matches google me and find out who I am
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:10] A hacker with piss poor opsec
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:10] Fake hacker
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:10] I am the real deal
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:10] I hacked some of the best hackers on the planet
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:11] But you can't clean up your Google results?
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:11] Fake hacker
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:11] Who gives a shit
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:11] I take ED down all the time
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:11] ED was down last week because of me
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:12] ED goes down if the wind blows too hard
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:12] None of it is from you
on0bi, [16/06/2023 16:12] Fake hacker
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:13] Doubt my power
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:13] Rookie mistake kiddo
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:13] Also the world is not your anime vidya games where all protagonists are 18 and under XD
Employer_Square, [16/06/2023 16:14] Did you take down the forums too
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:14] 30 I middle age. A good age to hack. This isn’t some twitch shooter video game.
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:14] I take down forums whenever I want
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:14] I took down kiwifarms too
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:14] ED is giving itself reason to be DDOSed
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:15] Cloudflare doesn’t protect against everything
Donald Buffkin, [16/06/2023 16:16] Again this reverts to my ultimatum. Delete the article or suffer the consequences.
all your base, [16/06/2023 16:44]: You wear diapers
all your base, [16/06/2023 16:45]: Also b&
Employer_Square, [16/06/2023 16:49]: Thanks
Employer_Square, [16/06/2023 16:49]: Was kind of amusing to watch
Pj, [16/06/2023 16:52]: The only thing he did was to highlight the article, imma read it after revert
Employer_Square, [16/06/2023 17:01]: There’s many attack/expose articles on ED that have been up for years that no one gives af about until the subjects of them join here and make a fuss about em

==Donald Blumpkin vs. GOI's Feminine Guile==

[[File:FeminineGuile.png|800px|center]]

==Videos==
[[File:buffkin.mp4|video_id|640px|center]]

== Winn Dixie Saga ==
Donnie Dumbfuck of joined Winn Dixie in 2022 to the dismay of the local community. There himself would suck up to power to obtain as many promotions as possible. Yup utterly delusional roflmao.
<center><gallery>

File:Winnnd.png
</gallery></center>

==See Also==

* [[Tablecow]] - More in-depth info on this lolcow
* [[Bomberman (Game)|Bomberman]]
* [[Blumpkin]]
* [[McLeodGaming]]
* [[Psychopath]]
* [[Narcissistic personality disorder]]
* [[Bombermanfan/Logs]]

==External Links==

*<s>{{yt|u|Bombermanfan}}</s>
*{{yt|u|Bombermanfan2}}
*[https://www.youtube.com/@Tablecow current YouTube channel]
*[http://forums.mcleodgaming.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=31146 Obvious sock is ''obvious''...]
*[https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.rs/members/digimon.10930/ ed forums account]
*[https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.rs/members/jewhunter.10951/ second ed forums account]
*[https://forums.edramatica.com/members/enemyofthelulz.665/ current EDF account]
* [https://steamcommunity.com/id/SatireOfComedy steam account]

{{faggotry}}
{{gaming}}
{{dyingalone}}
{{emoseries}}
{{takedown}}
{{Jews}}
{{Timeline|Featured article March 20 & 21, [[2013]]|[[Bacon]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[OpRollRedRoll|#OpRollRedRoll]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now June 22 & June 23, [[2023]]|[[Twilight]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Naruto]]}}

{{timeline|Article of the Now February 7 & February 8, [[2025]]|[[Death penalty]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Pennsylvania School Stabbing]]}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:2008]]
[[Category:2011]]
[[Category:Gaming]]

File:Winnnd.png

2026-01-11T20:11:30Z

MetalStapler:

File:PutTheFriesInTheBag.jpg

2025-10-24T03:44:24Z

MetalStapler:

Tablecow

2025-10-24T03:42:28Z

MetalStapler:

{{lolcow}}
{{watch}}
{{main|Donald Buffkin}}
{{eduser|Tablecow}}
[[File:Sioup.jpeg |235px|thumb|right|Donald Buffkin: the epitome of a lolcow.]]
[[File:Tablefailure1.png|200px|right]]
[[File:Indent2.jpg |200px|thumb|right|''"Oh noes! [[Missing part of the brain]]!"'']]

Enter '''[[:File:1314517267489.png|Tablecow]]''', aka [[Powerword|Donald Rowland Buffkin]] (born Feb. 11, 1993) {{jew}}, a {{Age|1993|2|11}}-year-old perfectly stable good guy from Jacksonville, Florida, determined to rebuild ED for the one he loves, [[Taekesi]].

It all began in late 2008 on Youtube, when he created an account pretending to be [[Ickeriss69]] and went on defending him to the masses. This caught the attention of some users and he began getting praised. His dox were dropped, and he decided to stay on the internet in a typical nonchalant sigma fashion.

Little did everyone know that he'd be back with a vengeance, by getting involved with an anti-troll group on Youtube (very relevant to mention, go subscribe!) and then white knighting [[Taekesi]], a successful Youtube hacker. All of this has lead up to his e-life causing some serious shit for his real life, such as his slutty girlfriend Kammy getting dumped because she just wasn't what Buffkin needed at the time, as well as his parents finally giving him the praise and recognition he deserved, thus taking away any amount of low self esteem he might have had.

== A [[Retard|Challenger]] Appears ==
{{Quote|I've sent Taekesi about 100 messages on YouTube, he's replied to one of them so far.}}
[[File:Tablecow2013.jpg|220px|right]]
[[File:Tablecow2014.jpg|220px|right]]
[[File:Tablecow olderimg.png|220px|right]]

[[File:EXPOSEDASBUTTHURT.png|220px|thumb|right|"Do not talk shit about me or I will spend tireless hours trying to tie you into a trolling group."]]

Tablecow has had quite the hard life, bullied IRL and OTI. But that didn't stop him from persevering and following his dreams. Being the accepted by his family for being a socially awesome gentle soul, he naturally gains approval from his internet peers due to these good personality traits.

He openly admitted to having a [[Micropenis|2 inch penis]] and being anti sex because it ruins friendships, despite his voice being full of testosterone and sounding like he's ready to accept any throbbing vagina in his drooling mouth at any second. Regardless of the size of his penis, Tablecow could get all the tail if he actually wanted to. Incredibly, it has been observed that Tablecow is [[autistic]], as displayed by his unrealistic expectations of the internet as a whole. Not everyone's souls are as gentle as his own. He's also prone to defend furries as they're not as evil as people make them out to be. His die hard fanboyism of Taekesi has lead him to great opportunities for sex. Even his internet god Taekesi loves him.

=== Round 2 ===

Not learning from his first bout with trolls on the internet, Tablecow came back in 2011 and this time, ED caught his attention. Going as far as to write to ED administrators asking for permission to DDoS the site, he also came into IRC crying about Taekesi's article not being deleted. As per usual, he was laughed off of IRC for having a micro-penis and he decided to take his angst out on mic for everyone to hear (with recorded goodness).

During this time, he impersonated some guy he knew IRL named Joseph, an actual cool bro whose Facebook profile revealed himself knee deep in bitches (this being the ideal lifestyle for Tablecow). While impersonating him, he made several comments about Joseph's (now-ex) girlfriend such as, "that beautiful angel", along with being completely up to date on the two's relationship status, confirming himself as a legitimate e-stalker.

=== Tabletard Never Learns ===

[[File:Tablecow dlpic.jpg|200px|right]]
In 2014 he resurfaced yet another time to try to edit his own article some more, and to use [[Sockpuppet|sock accounts]] to upload a slew of [[Shit nobody cares about|random images]] pertaining to Amanda "Mewen" Brown, [[Brittany Holechko]], and [[:File:Kkkkiiiiiled.jpg|half-naked little boys]], further confirming him as a pedophile. He also confirmed himself as a stalker by uploading copies of court documents charging him with stalking younger women at the university he both works at and attends.
[[File:Donald Buffkin fb stalking.jpg|thumb|A winning quote from Donnie's Facebook account.]]
Once his [[dox]] were posted as a result, he futilely attempted to delete them, and when that of course [[Vandalism is pointless|didn't work]], he decided to try to challenge ED some more by [[Dumbass|uploading a photo of his own driver's license]], thus confirming all of his personal information.

This was obviously a desperate plea for attention, considering this is the same kid who was crying in IRC a while back about having this article deleted, and constantly tries to edit it section by section whenever he thinks people aren't paying attention. The only attention this got him of course was [[Fail|another ban]].

In a May 6 Facebook post, Donnie appears to claim ownership for ED's [[Taking down ED|brief hiatus]], despite the face that it was actually due to server costs. [[Luser|None of his 10 friends]] liked the post.

== PsychoCow ==

[[File:Howdareyou.png|230px|thumb|"How dare you post that on ED! I'm gonna cut myself to make you feel guilty!"]]
[[File:Throatslitting.png|thumb|You're lucky that he did not slit his throat to write your name.]]
[[File:Notkillingself.png|thumb|@above, But he won't kill himself, though. But he's gonna do it!]]
[[File:Permissiontoworship.png|thumb|Worshipping a faggot on the Internet with no life permitted.]]
[[File:Blessedbytaxi.png|thumb|''"I have become more, because Taekesi called me a Legende."'']]
Upsetting a true legend like Tablecow may cause him to slit his own throat and use a paint brush to write your name on something that's very near to him. Tablecow admitted to have thoughts of cutting himself, but has excuses not to do so (HINT: because he's a bigger pussy than an emofaggot). This truly is a sign of being a mental disturbed individual, however Tablecow admits that he's nothing more than a resource wasting abomination that needs to be removed from this planet. BUT! He now realized his destiny: his purpose to remain alive in this world is having the permission to [[cocksucking|worship]] [[Taekesi]]. He believes that being called a Legende by Taekesi will make him more than a failure .

{{Quote|Taekesi bestowed on me when he called me a legend|This an big accomplishment in Tablecow's mind.}}

==Taking Down ED==

[[File:Cowcharitylol.png|thumb|right|Donate plz so I can take down ED.]]
[[File:Wtichtrailshuntinglegendescow.png|thumb|right|He will dedicate his life to the cause.]]
One day, Tablecow had the revelation that maybe Taekesi would actually talk to him if he was successful in having the article removed. For a week [[not_gay|straight]], he continuously sockpuppeted each account attempting to blank the article, which resulted in being reverted and he was banned within 30 seconds. The next week, he took a different approach, and tried to make peaceful negotiations in [[ED IRC]].

===ED [[Sock puppet|Accounts]]===

[[File:Tablecowinternetwar.PNG|thumb|right|THE E-WAR RAGES ON!]]
*[[User:Tablecow]] (with an L)
*[[User:TabIecow]] (with an i)
*[[User:TableBomber]]
*[[User:Pleaseletmereasonwithyou]]

===DDoS===

{{squote|Dear Encyclopedia Dramatica I would be much obliged if you would give me and Taekesi legal authority to distributed denial of service your site.
I would like signatures from those legally responsible of Encyclopedia Dramatica that I would not be held liable for any distributed denial of service attacks I will do on your site.
I would also like you to waiver Taekesi from being legally responsible and liable for any distributed denial of service attacks on your site.|Tablecow emailing an ED admin}}

He and Taekesi, ''did'' try to DDoS ED (most likely with one of the many skiddie tools linked to from our own article). Their attack can only be described as "less than successful" seeing as the wiki stayed up throughout the course of the "attack", enabling dedicated EDiots to publish lulz as they were happening.

{{Quote|<garrett> cloudflare is eating up the attack and blacklisting all of your bots, nice ddos|[[gg]]}}

{{Quote|it was just a test ddos for the real one, ed will be removed from the internet|An update}}

After being banned from the channel due to extreme levels of butthurt, he took up [[Tablecow/arbchat|his case in Arbchat]], only to be once more mocked and ridiculed. His [[final solution]] was to attempt to talk with ED admins over Skype. Needless to say, they were not impressed.

===Skype Quotes===

{{Quote|No comment|When asked if he did in fact have a micropenis}}
{{Quote|I do not know that girl at all. Just '''don't upload anything about her'''!|<s>When his girlfriends Facebook was posted.</s> Not his girlfriend, he was pretending to be someone else he knew IRL}}
{{Quote|An [[IP]] is what [[hackers]] use to track people down.|Pointing out the amazingly [[derp|obvious]]}}
{{Quote|I will just fight until it's deleted, we will keep deleting it until it is gone forever.|Tablecow threatening to round up some Taekesi supporters and vandalize a protected article.}}

===LOL I TROLL YOU GUISE===

<div style="height:200px; overflow:scroll; border: 3px solid #000; padding: 3px; background: transparent; vertical-align: top; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; margin-bottom: 3px; {{roundy}}">
<pre>
<Praetor> a fgt let him speak
* tablecow (~opera@wtfux-57C3BBF9.hsd1.fl.comcast.net) has joined #ed
<beefrave> TABLECOW
<beefrave> TABLECOW
<tablecow> i am not tablecow
<beefrave> THERE WE GO
<tablecow> i am meepsheeps alt
<tablecow> i have been from the start
<rst8> i know
<polyesterpeanut> wh is he
<beefrave> PM
<beefrave> ME
<hipcrime> nope tablecow
<rst8> wheere is meepsheep
<tablecow> yes
<B2> I'm so confused...
<Praetor> buttsex
<hipcrime> fl.vzw
<rst8> what
<tablecow> tablecow never existed
<beefrave> TABLECOW
<hipcrime> rite.
<rst8> WHAT
<hipcrime> ok
<tablecow> this is all meepsheep
<beefrave> meepsheep
<rst8> IM SO CONFUUESED
<beefrave> hit me up
<hipcrime> mhm
<beefrave> om
<Meia> meepsheep
<Praetor> ploy
<Meia> `up
* J87 has quit (client exited: )
<rst8> you arent mod
<tablecow> if you write an article about me you are being trolled by meepsheep
<Mu> lolno
<hipcrime> tablecow is ~opera@wtfux-57C3BBF9.hsd1.fl.comcast.net * Tablecow
<hipcrime> tablecow on #arbchat
<hipcrime> tablecow using allah.irc BISMILLAH AR RAHMAN AR RAHIM
<hipcrime> tablecow has been idle 2mins 19secs, signed on Sat Aug 27 19:34:46
<hipcrime> tablecow End of /WHOIS list.
<hipcrime> -
<hipcrime> tablecow is ~opera@wtfux-57C3BBF9.hsd1.fl.comcast.net * Tablecow
<hipcrime> tablecow on #ed
<hipcrime> tablecow using allah.irc BISMILLAH AR RAHMAN AR RAHIM
<hipcrime> tablecow has been idle 4secs, signed on Sat Aug 27 23:52:16
<rst8> i dont write articles
<hipcrime> tablecow End of /WHOIS list.
<hipcrime> hm
<NekoArc> lol opera
<rst8> i cleane them up
<Meia> meepsheep
<hipcrime> i cooked that up. :D
<tablecow> yes?
<hipcrime> hehe
<Praetor> or perhaps the article itself becomes so believe able its a troll itslef
<Meia> should I delete Taekesi's article?
<rst8> no
<Mu> no
<tablecow> yes
<tablecow> delete taekesi's
<Meia> I'm asking meepsheep
<Meia> ok
<rst8> wait did taekesi ever exist
<tablecow> no
<tablecow> taekesi exists
<rst8> are you srs
<tablecow> but those are not his dox
<Praetor> he srs
<rst8> but is the article false?
<Praetor> yeah they r my dox
<rst8> wat
<Praetor> shhh
<Mu> wait what?
<rst8> .....
<tablecow> yes
<Praetor> you will see in time
<tablecow> and zaiger said not to write anymore about tablecow
<rst8> whee
<Mu> proof
<polyesterpeanut> how do you dox somethings thats fake or am i just being retarded right now
<tablecow> because he found out that tablecow is my alt and ihm is trying to manipulate
<Praetor> unless its a dox of someone else
</pre>
</div>

After pulling this, ED mods decided to give him his five minutes of glory by deleting the article.

{{Quote|This is... this is the happiest night of my life!}}

To Tablecow's dismay, the article was restored within five minutes, enabling ED admins to [[YHBT|prolong their laughing at him]].

== Constant Whining ==

Donald constantly whines about how unfair it is that we have articles uploaded about him. However the only reason that they are here in the first place is his persistent whining and moaning. If not for being such a paranoid narcissist that rambles on and on about how brutally unjust his middle class suburban life is he would not even have the articles uploaded in the first place. Additionally, he constantly tries to play the victim all while bullying other people who actually do have problems and are well regarded by other people.

A fine example of him playing the victim card [http://pastebin.com/rXKK9ZMb here.] - Ah Shane Hugashit. It was a fine conversation. Shame that Shane is an intellectual termite compared to my Godlike power.

=== Denial of His Micropenis ===

Donald constantly denies having a micropenis. His imaginary ex-girlfriend confirmed that he was a both a virgin and that she broke up with him for his small package. I spent hours with a penis pump trying to look big but it did not even help in the slightest. Although even if my penis was normal sized I would still have a hard time getting an erection because I am constantly getting hit in my groin by women for my unwarranted advances!
My imaginary ex-girlfriend then told my much brothers everything about me. Now everyone thinks that I am even more of a loser.

== Vicious Bullying ==

Donny the Dumbfuck loves to bully and harass those who are actual productive members of society and do things with their time. One such case is a satanist youtuber that he makes fun of for having a garden. Rather than respect the hardwork and dedication put into fostering such a living tribute to nature, Donny mocks him and calls him flowerboy.
This is all documented and can not be deleted no matter how much Donny tries to demand this article be deleted. He can be found whining in IRC chat late at night (probably unable to sleep because of the mean things written about him online).
Whenever caught, he tries to gain sympathy by claiming to [[fact|have no fwiends]]. He also tries many other blame diversion tactics that he is [[stupid|not smart]] enough to carry out.

== [[Dickhead|White Knighting]] ==

Donny constantly defends other people on the internet and plays the hero so that "I can sit back and masturbate to my own image plastered over Jesus Christ's head" (direct quote). In reality Donald does not care about the people he defends in the slightest and only does it to stroke his own ego.

* [[LittleCloud]]
* [[IHM|Brittany Holechko]]
* [[KrappleGuy]]
* [[Ickeriss69]]
* [[Skuee]]
* [[AJcomix]]
* [[Kumichoo]]
* [[dog264]]
* [[Beefrave]]
* [[Taekesi]]
* [[KingMasterReview]]

[[File:TableAsshole.png|300px|right|]]

==Donald the Kiddie Fiddler==

Being the desperate lonely man he is, Tablecow unleashed his immense desire to get laid onto the internet. This lead him to Mewen Brown , 15 year old YouTube troll whom he attempted to solicit nudes from, as well as wrote poetry for his e-girlfriend.

[[file:28AFFC08-BAE7-4CCE-9F0D-64B8C106DFA7.jpeg |200px]]

[[file:77832B6C-479C-4951-9A66-5059D540B3A4.jpeg|200px]]

{{Quote|^___^<br>
your the most adorable though<br>
your beauty is astounding<br>
i will enjoy writing poetry about you}}

{{Quote|Awesome my friends on runescape our going to be so jealous<br>
i love you vm ^___^<br>
i feel like shouting this fact from the top of a moutain<br>
i will make a song soon okay?}}

[[file:AAC907DB-717F-4F80-B915-DA7B6B046A13.jpeg |200px]]

Surprisingly, this wasn't the last time that some pedo attempted to e-date Mewen, but that's [[Amber Buttrum|another story]].

[[File:DonnieNudes.jpeg|200px]]
[[File:Damningselfie.jpg|200px]]
[[File:Donniewithdate.jpeg|200px]]
[[File:Notapedo.jpg|frame|center]]

==Quotes==

<center>
{{morphquote|tcq|background-color:transparent; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|i am thinking of getting my dick cut off so people stop talking about sex| [[DO_IT_FAGGOT|DO IT FAGGOT!!!!1]]
|I can masturbate as fast as|wait... as fast as what?
|ed is down and i am not taekesi, taekesi above my level and definately above yours
show some respect|
}}
</center>

== [[Truth|Facts]] ==

* [[White_devil|Has a god complex, does not respect boundaries, and is a control freak]].
* [[Obsessive_Compulsive_Disorder|Obsessive]] creeper that puts pictures of women he harasses on his walls.
* Has an IQ of 112 and an [[SAT]] score of [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|1050/2400]] but claims to be a misunderstood genius whenever he is wrong.
* Begs people to be his friend and is a [[Chick_tracts|radical Christian]].
* Thinks telling people to die in a fire and harassing video bloggers [[No|is win trolling]].
* <s> Viciously bullies innocent people for no reason. </s> Bullies fictional characters and makes offensive comments IRL (when confronted he pretends that he did not say anything wrong, though).
* Entitled asshole that constantly tries to [[personal army]] people against those that offend him slightly.
* Is on video admitting to being the one making fun of himself. I could even be the one who wrote his own articles given how much of an attention seeking loser I am.
* Is a massive coward IRL that almost cries whenever he is talked to.
* Believes trolling is ruining the internet with idiocy and "trying too hard."
* Claims to be a Marxist and a feminist. However. his being a [[goatse|massive asshole]] to women proves this to be a complete falsehood. He also [[Jew|hordes his money]] like the dragon from The Hobbit rather than give to the less fortunate and then moans about income inequality in the United States.
* Constantly yells that he is going to [[an hero]] even though everytime he tries to jump off a bridge, he instead curls into the fetal position and soils himself. Despite no one trying to stop him (even going far as encouraging him), he can not do it... Instead he will continue to troll forums by attrition.
* Spews old memes 24/7 and edit my own article only to try to blame other people.
* Shakes his computer scream and starts yelling if he is losing a video game...
* Attempts to troll himself.
* Lacks trolling etiquette and will attempt to fail troll anyone in his way.
* Hates comic books and devours them.
* Screams obscenities at women entering abortion clinics, then tries to hit them up for dates after their box scraping.
* Believes that he is the most creative man on the planet. [[Asshole|It is a recorded fact though that he copies the brilliant work of other people and publishes it as his own.]]

[[File:Yepstupiddonnydonniedumbfuck.jpg|200px]]

==Pretender ==
Will always whine about people driving by my house and setting me up for stuff. Constantly complains about Verizon stealing/locking his account and about youtube. He also uses his jizz as tooth whitener.
He also is a pseudo intellectual Jew that will attack himself under numerous sock puppets in futile attempts to remain relevant.
[[File:JewishIdiotTryingHard.jpeg|200px]]
[[File:Imachachachia.jpg|200px]]
[[File:Irishtaxiimpersonatorright.jpg|200px]]

== How to Troll ==
* Tell him that his brothers or just someone at his school is conspiring against him and watch him sift through his USB drives of youtube screenshots and start obsessively whining about how there is a plot against him.
* Make fun of his anorexic body, horse face, or tell him what a scumbag he is. Donny will lump you into his enemies list and try to attache you to ED so that he can come into IRC and make empty threats.
* Inform him that he smells like yogurt.
* Call him a script kiddie, failure, or tell him he is irrelevant.
* Remind him that he is an registered sex offender and still a virgin. He will start shrieking at the top of his lungs for you to shut your fucking mouth.
* Inform him that his barrage of racist, sexist, and anti-Semitic jokes are not funny.
* Tell his parents about his idiocy and get them to close his youtube account. He will run to a public library and start up another one.
* Hate on Taekesi... He will praise you and white knight for you to get back at legende. Or praise Taekesi and watch him whine about how you are with ED on a massive conspiracy against him...
* Inform him that no amount of whining will ever have this article removed.
* Defend someone ED has an article about. People might automatically assume he did it and Donald has no problem taking credit for accomplishments that he did not do.
* Tell him that there are women out there smarter than him and he will call you various names and swing at you with his skinny arms.

==Wanted Dead or Alive==
Unable to clear his cookies Donnie Dumbfuck made the grave mistake of fucking with Great Britain
<center><youtube>zusndl4mak0</youtube></center>

==Battle of the buttplugs==
Feuding with an underaged spic terrorist hacker named mega savage. Mega threatened to lynch Tablecows family and made various threats to Tablecow who tried to impersonate megafaggot.

[[File:Megathreateningtablecow.png|270px]]

[[File:Myselftoldtoanhero.png|270px]]

[[File:Meganigger.jpeg|270px]]

[[File:Megaedgelord.jpeg|270px]]

[[File:Megaedgelord2.jpeg|270px]]

[[File:truefear.jpeg|270px]]

[[File:meganegrosfail.jpeg|270px]]

[[File:powerpain.jpeg|270px]]

==Pledging Allegiance to Trump==
Being the desperate subpar sheep he is Donald campaigned for Donald Trump in 2016, 2020 and seems to be doing the same in 2024. Not for the lulz but for women he stalked hooking up with Mexicans and blacks.

Believing himself to be of Gods chosen people and thus entitled to any girl he wants I throw massive hissy fits when my forever alone status is confirmed.

== Heat with Fellow Jews==
Donnie’s failed dreams of being an actor came to an end with Donnie’s brief visit to Hollywood to do as many auditions as possible. He was mocked for trying too hard, being delusional, and being generally a repulsive human being.

Hacking into Donnie’s Fscj proves he was trying to be famous taking drama and drawing classes. Contacting his classmates reveals he passed said classes out of pity. Donald’s demand for fame and his perceived gatekeeping of fame by the “Hollywood elite” made him hate Jewish people despite being part Jew himself.

[[File:BadBrain.jpeg|270px]]

==See Also==

* [[Donald Buffkin]] - Another entire article's worth of drama related to this luser
* [[Taekesi]]
* [[Kumichoo]]
* [[Aspergers]]
* [[Micropenis]]
* [[Tablecow/Logs]]
* [[Tablecow/arbchat]]
* [[Rootbrian]] - Another faggot dreaming to take down ED who covered the Tablecow/Mewen drama
* [[Libertarian Fox]] - Another faggot who failed to take down ED who's coincidentally from the [[Florida|same state]] as Tablecow, which is quickly coming to be known as the Tryhard State
* [[USI]]
* [[Shit nobody cares about]]
* [[OhInternet]]
* [[Dumb ass]] - I am behind a proxy web! I am untraceable and completely anonymous!
* [[Inconsistent personality disorder]]
* [[Paranoid personality disorder]]
* [[Histrionic Personality Disorder]]
* [[Narcissistic personality disorder]]

==External Links==

*{{facebook|donaldrbuffkin}}{{priv}} - active account
*{{facebook|bishop.wizz}}{{priv}} - old account
*{{twitter|Tablecow}}{{priv}} - Tweets are protected, good luck getting your follow request approved
*<s>{{yt|u|Tablecow}}</s> '''Original Baleeted!''' [https://www.youtube.com/@Tablecow but OH SHIT IT'S BEEN REVIVED!!!!]
*<s>{{yt|u|Bombermanfan}}</s> '''Baleeted!'''
*{{yt|u|Bombermanfan2}}
*<s>{{yt|u|TsuriSatsujinKen}}</s>
*<s>{{yt|u|MyselfIsLegend}}</s> - impersonating Taekesi
*{{deviantart|Tablecow}} - Scouring for hate art and demanding [[No|THEY BE TAKEN DOWN NOW!!!!!]]
*[http://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/shocker21193 Xbox Live gamertag]
*[http://www.gamefaqs.com/users/LostVoyager PSN ID]
*[http://rootbrian.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/man-oh-man-did-mewen-brown-get-busted-for-trolling/ Moar info on Amanda "Mewen" Brown, the infamous underaged girl he was stalking] (by [[Rootbrian]])
*[https://forums.edramatica.com/members/enemyofthelulz.665/ EDF account]
*[https://steamcommunity.com/id/SatireOfComedy Steam]

{{aspies}}
{{Jews}}
{{Goodguys}}
{{ytseries}}
{{pedoseries}}
{{takedown}}
{{Timeline|Featured article August 31 & September 1, [[2011]]|[[Gardevoir]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]] and [[Steve Jobs]] Double feature!|[[Sankaku Complex]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article June 6 & July 7, [[2012]]|[[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[France]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article September 1 & 2, [[2018]]|[[Joe Kennedy]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Reconquista]]}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:2011]]

File:WIN 20250514 00 19 08 Pro.jpg

2025-10-20T03:26:54Z

MetalStapler:

File:WIN 20241230 23 43 48 Pro.jpg

2025-10-20T03:22:36Z

MetalStapler:

2025-05-25T04:53:47Z

MetalStapler:

{{watch}}
{{Edforumseries}}
SuperChungus is a user on the forums that mitigates the otherwise riveting intellectual discourse with his snarky one word comments. He is probably a middle aged white male that abuses women and LARPs as a Filipino to garner respect from the denizens of ED and anonymous.
[[File:SuperChungusTypicalReply.png|220px|thumb|right]]
[[file:BullyChungus.jpeg|220px|thumb|right|A truly evil bully in action]]
His passion is watching cartoon bunnies do stupid activities that he probably wishes he could replicate in real life. The bane of his existence is the corporation Microsoft as it discontinued his beloved Internet Explorer and replaced it with the superior Microsoft Edge. He probably has posters of severed dicks on his wall too because he is a gay and probably evil.

His latest antics involved sending one to two word responses to users in order to reverse troll them. It doesn’t work though and leads to SuperChungus looking like a fool. Recently SuperChungus lost all his power and beloved orange letters because he epitomizes evil and all unholy on the internet. If you see SuperChungus in private chat leak his IP to 4chan so anonymous can dox him for the lulz.
==History==
Little is known regarding the origin story of our local glue monkey. Being the whitest individual on the forums he hides behind the mask of some rando asian who might just be a male escort hired for a booster pack of Pokemon cards. Yup, SuperChungus may also have grown up enamored with Microsoft Windows and still uses the Internet Explorer 6 and possibly Windows XP because he yearns for a simpler time when he can yell at his mom for hot pockets as he plays video games and trolls. Now a potential basement dweller who may be resented by his parents SuperChungus could either be receiving government checks or defrauding people on the internet.
==Present==
Currently you can find the bunny loving bitch browsing the forums and insta-killing any topic his pasty ass participates in through sheer guilt of association. Rather than strive for excellence like others tirelessly trying to escape the Zoo like Hypeshot, Pedro, Donald, etc. he persists that he is not the problem. Its a case of the unstoppable force of fail (SuperChungus) meeting the immovable object of hatred (ED). He refuses to post his nudes because it would prove he isn't asian because he would have to pay top dollar to get those nudes and he is running low on funds.
==Future==
He lost his orange letters and will soon be confined to the gilded cage known as the "zoo" where all the users he terrorized will ridicule his cunty antics.

==Ultimate Just Desserts Coming Down Hard==
Naming himself after an obese fictional character that engages in gluttony as he does in cruelty it is rather ironic to see his bullying exposed through this riveting expose. Juxtapose SuperChungus to well-meaning but often maligned stalwart stewards of high brow satire at ED like Lulziez, you will find a parasitic, sadistic, and bipolar clown. When put into a proverbial corner SuperChungus throws tantrums resulting in spamming "you're funny" meant to diminish you as being some sort of show monkey or "cool" a straight up dismissal. Truth is SuperChungus longs for affection and placing a deluge of liquor into his mouth daily following the loss of his beloved orange letters. Desperate to cling to any semblance of relevancy SuperChungus lashes out at the usual whipping boys of management and does not hold back. Yup truly an abysmal individual with the personality of a cactus on meth.
==See Also==
[[Donald_Buffkin]] - His arch nemesis (basically Spider-man to his Green Goblin ass).

[[Pedro J. Garcia]] - A distinguished gentleman that wants to do the right thing and protect everyone from this evil heartless soulless monster that lies.

2025-05-24T15:08:48Z

MetalStapler:

2025-05-24T11:09:28Z

MetalStapler: Created page with "SuperChungus is a user on the forums that mitigates the otherwise riveting intellectual discourse with his snarky one word comments. He is probably a middle aged white male that abuses women and LARPs as a Filipino to garner respect from the denizens of ED and anonymous. His passion is watching cartoon bunnies do stupid activities that he probably wishes he could replicate in real life. The bane of his existence is the corporation Microsoft as it discontinued his belove..."