Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Lolcow.farm

2025-04-16T11:16:58Z

Kamaloka: /* Content */

<center>[[File:Lolcow.png.gif]]{{quote|The lolcows posted here are, shockingly, not works of fiction or falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as false.|Lolcow Official Statment}}
</center>

Lolcow.farm is an [[imageboard]] created by [[drama queen|drama thirsty cunts]] after [[Pixyteri]] discussion was banned from [[4chan|/cgl/]]. Being filled with /cgl/ refugees, lolcow is one of the female-centric chans. It is filled with ugly women being [[catty]] [[bitches]] toward each other on the [[internet]] over petty [[Girl Drama|girl drama]]. Here you can find pointless discussion of your favorite [[fat|hambeast]] e-[[whore]]'s daily lives, unnecessary infighting about [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/|the Cancer that is killing /ot/]], and repetitive nitpicking.

Despite it's origins, lolcow users (aka [[anon|nonas]]) view 4chan as LC's weird perverted uncle. As decreed by the site's rules, only [[femcel|biological females]] may post there. [[Underage]] [[Tiktok]] users are known to occasionally wander from their [[India|desolate shithole land]] to the green pastures of the farms to defend [[tranny|trans rights]] in which case they are told to [[LURK MOAR]] and subsequently lynched.

==History==
[[File:Cglpost.png|thumb|right|From /cgl/ to lolcow, not much has changed.]]

Lolcow chan is actually third down the line in terms of /cgl/ refugee campgrounds. The /cgl/ rule of "Don't bring community vendettas onto this board. Singling out individual [[cosplayers]] for the purposes of trolling them will not be tolerated" has long existed, but hasn't been enforced until [[moot]] decided to show off his boner for Pixy and banned all discussion of specific cosplayers or [[EGL|lolitas]]. The first chanboard of the saga was Maximum.Faggotry.org, which was rumored to have been run by Flan. After the first chan closed, Staminarose popped up to take in the drama starved seagulls. After some troll made up stories about PT being a pedo, the admin went into a panic and closed the site down. Some fucking retards at SR claimed PT molested a 3 year old and took pictures, but that the pictures "[[bullshit|couldn't be posted because we don't want to get Britfag (current troll trolling PT) in trouble for convincing PT to take pictures of said molestation]]." Some bitches took it seriously, and SR [[retard|admin]] shut the site down due to claims of contacting PT, Interpol and local police. [[Troll's Remorse|Hoaxfags outed themselves]] because it turns out PT does babysit and someone threatened to call Interpol. They didn't realize PT babysat when they were fabricating the story. Many attempts were made to contact the admin, but admin disappeared off the face of the internet and many a great thread was lost.
After all this bullshit, Lolcow.farm was forged, and drama was plentiful once again.

==The disappearance of lolcow.farm==
In September 2024, the unthinkable happened: lolcow.farm went offline. Farmers were parched of their [[lulz|delicious, life sustaining milk]] for one whole week. In desperation, some even turned to crystal.cafe to satiate their cravings but to no avail. Thankfully, [[janny|those who do it for free]] fixed the server issues and all was good again.

[[File:lolcow-tan.jpg|thumb|Lolcow-tan or Elsie]]
[[File:lolcow petition.png|thumb|NOOOOOO!!!!! YOU CAN'T BE MEAN TO PEOPLE ON TEH INTERNETS!!!1!]]
[[File:mommys cyber bullying.jpg|thumb|lolcow.farm users in their natural habitat]]
==Content==

'''/pt/''' - Short for "PixyTeri", though not exclusively dedicated to her. This is where discussion of all the former /cgl/ dramacows happens. As expected, the board is filled with a bunch of bitches being petty and picking shit apart. Home to the most well known lolcows.
*[[Lillee Jean]]
*[[Kiki Kannibal]]
*[[Shane Dawson]]
*[[Jeffree Star]]
*[[Venus Angelic|Margaret Palermo]]
*[[Jonathan Yaniv]]
*[[Onision]]

'''/snow/''' - Short for "snowflakes", /snow/ was originally designed for all the shit threads on /pt/. However, it has since become popular and is responsible for attracting a large amount of [[banned|underage ban]]. This is where lesser known cows are documented until they become notable or [[Lulzy|milky]] enough for /pt/.
*[[SSSniperWolf]]
*[[shoe0nhead]]
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]]
*[[H3H3]]
*[[Trisha Paytas]]
*[[Cosplay]] [[Whore|thots]]
**[[Jenna Lynn Meowri]]
**[[Sindy Pop]]

'''/w/''' - Designated board for [[Vlogger|vloggers]], [[lolita]], and [[cosplay]] oriented lolcows. Generally consists of [[fat]] [[weeaboos]] no one cares about. Serves to demonstrate how [[white people]] ruin everything they touch.
*[[Belle Delphine]] and other wannabe [[E-girls]]
*[[Digibro]]
* Shitty western [[Vocaloid]] producers

'''/ot/''' - [[Feminism|Radfem]] /b/.

'''/g/''' - The [[Female|girl]] talk board. Topics range from skincare advice to <s>[[Waifu|husbando]]</s> [[Luigi Mangione]] [[coomer|thirst]] threads.

'''/m/''' - The media board. Home to more husbando threads and discussion of [[vidya]].

'''/meta/''' - Exactly what you think it is

'''/shay/''' - A board dedicated to /snow/'s most controversial cow, Shayna Clifford.

'''/??/''' - Perhaps there is a secret board...? Lurk moar to find out

===Former Boards===

'''/b/''' - The random board that had no traffic. Mostly a containment board for all the off-topic shit that plagued /pt/.

'''/manure/''' - All the high quality shitposting that would normally get you banned would go here.

==User Base==
Though users of the site are mostly from /cgl/, there is still a larger concentration of [[Tumblr]] users on Lolcow than on any other chan. This is partly due to the sites participation in Tumblr related drama that goes beyond [[SJW]] insanity, drawing Tumblr user to the site to either [[whiteknight]] or collect dramu. This has caused a certain degree of [[butthurt]] among the chantard users, as many a good thread gets derailed due to arguments with [[SJW]]s who [[Baww|don't understand]] [[racism|chan humor]]. Despite the claims of Tumblr hate from lolcow, [[irony|every single member has a Tumblr account and openly admits to it]].

The second group of foreign invaders are [[attention whore|special snowflakes]] from PULL, aka Pretty Ugly Little Liars. Threads about bitchy [[Photoshop]] queens are often filled with jelly PULL members who wish they could be pretty and skinny like the girl in the OP. When you see a poster A-logging hard at [[Dakota Rose]], they're more than likely from PULL. Much like the Tumblr users, PULL users are also easily [[triggered]] and will out themselves the second someone makes a comment about a bitches stretchmarks.

Aside from social justice autism, [[Pro-ana|thigh gaps]] are a particularly sensitive subject on lolcow. Call a girl [[fat]] for not having one and watch the thread descend into the abyss as attention whores [[lj|blogpost]] their body types and dieting habits.

Attempting to partake in any form of debate with a lolcow.farm user will result in you being called retarded and fat in 10 nanoseconds.
<center><gallery>
File:Lolcowposts.png|Typicall /pt/ posts
File:Shota.png|Despite the rampant, pearl-clutching, lolcow is infested with [[shota]]fags
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[4chan]]
*[[cow/|/cow/]]
*[[Chan]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Princess Doll]] - Boring weeaboo blogger who created her own thread and posted half the content in it.
*[[soyjak.party]] - LC's retarded kid cousin that plays with dolls

==External Links==
*[https://lolcow.farm/ Lolcow.farm]

{{Chans}}
{{sites}}
{{lolcows}}

Columbine

2025-03-31T06:09:41Z

Kamaloka:

{{DISPLAYTITLE:LOLumbine}}
{{offended}}
 
{{Double An Heroes|[[File:Columbinekillersview2.jpg|200px|link=]]}}
 
{{ib|[[File:Eric and Dylan.jpeg|200px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|April 9, [[1980s|1981]] (Eric) [[9/11|September 11]], [[1980s|1981]] (Dylan)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|[[Weed|April 20]], [[1999]] (aged 18 and 17)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality'''|[[Americunt]]  [[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 14, injured 23 (20 by gunfire)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|No}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Idklol]]}}
{{Ibend}}
[[File:Columbine army of two.png|thumb|The two [[an hero|heroes]] pictures here]]
[[Image:Columbineinternet.jpg|thumb|Oh Jay and Silent Bob! Up to another hair-brained scheme!]]

[[Image:Ctapest.jpg|thumb|[[Longcat|They had been planning for a looooooooooooooong time.]]]]

[[Image:Outcasts.jpg|thumb|The one on the left was clearly "[[Retard|the brains]]" of this operation.]]

[[Image:Weegeshot.jpg|thumb|Evidence of [[Weegee|third shooter?]]]]

[[Image:Schoolraider3.jpg|thumb|Now available in stores for PS1; $42.099!]]

[[Image:Kill_Classmates.gif|thumb|More like Lolumbine [[amirite]]?]]

[[File:columbineanheroes.jpg|thumb|The [[an Hero|heroes]] of Columbine. (but are the books alright?)]]

[[Image:Lulzycolumbine1.jpg|thumb|lol]]
[[File:No Eyebrows Eric harris.gif|thumb]]

[[File:Marilyn manson witchcraft metal.jpg|thumb| [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiaxzBlFgmQ Was actually believed to cause Lolumbine with his satanic heavy angry emo-death metol witchcraft music] ]]

[[Image:Columbine preparefortrouble.jpg|thumb|right]]
The '''Columbine High School Massacre''' ([[Twilight|Still a better love story than Twilight]]) was basically the funniest thing that has ever happened in any [[high school]] [[evar]]. On [[Weed|April 20th]], 1999, in Littleton, [[Colorado]], American [[An hero|an heroes]] '''Eric David Harris'''{{atheist}} and '''Dylan Bennet Klebold'''{{jew}} got over a dozen frags IRL at their local high school after attempting to simulate [[Doom]] in the real world. Originally, they planned on blowing up their schools' cafeteria during lunchtime, but their propane bombs failed and they ended up [[Zerg Rush|rushing into the school]], killing people left and right before turning their guns on themselves and becoming [[an heroes]]. Their total kill count was '''13''', an unimpressive score given how they were using sub-machine guns in [[Counter-Strike|the pistol round]], and were elevated to "WORST PEOPLE OF 1999" posthumously, for the most violent [[school shooting]] spree in [[Jewnited States of Americunts|American]] history shortly after [[Bill Clinton]] authorized the massacre of thousands of Serbian children.

They held this title for nearly a decade before [[Cho Seung-Hui|a gook]] killed over thirty people at [[Virginia Tech]] in [[2007]], <s>although [[White People|Eric]] and [[Jew|Dylan]] still hold the high score for ''high school'' shooting- in America, that is</s> they were later overtaken by [[Nikolas Jacob Cruz]] on [[Valentine's Day|February 14]], [[2018]]. [[German]] residents [[Tim Kretschmer]] and [[Robert Steinhauser]] racked up fifteen and sixteen frags, respectively, at their local schools.

In the weeks, months, and years following their killing spree, massive witchhunts were held as trolls, [[Goth|goths]], musicians ([[Marilyn Manson]], [[Eminem]]), movies ([[Quentin Tarantino|Natural Born Killers]], [[The Matrix]]), television shows, and anyone not amongst the exclusive ranks of [[The beautiful people]] were rounded up and taken to concentration camps as the need to scapegoat anyone for the crimes led to America being whipped up into a frenzy of anti-lulz, and retardation in the biggest moral panic in decades, of the same category of the future [[9/11]] attacks. Instead of waging a war of terror against innocent sand niggers, Americunts made the lives of [[teenagers]] even worse by destroying the lives of any weird or unconventional kids, for dozens of years to come.

Despite happening well over a generation ago, the Columbine High School Massacre still continues to inspire thousands upon thousands of [[columbine copycats]] and [[Columbiners|fangirls]] to this very day. Like they stated in their manifesto, Eric and Dylan continue to inspire paranoia, fear, copycats, and more terror upon the world, 18+ years after they died. Columbine also has a permanent effect on [[Oxymoron|American culture]], if not global culture in general; just try wearing a trench coat to school and see how that plays out for you.

==History==
[[An hero day|On April 20th]] ([[Lie|coincidentally]] Hitler's birthday) Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold forgot to take their Prozac and engaged in final fap sessions while listening to "The Beautiful People," shut the lights off of all reality, got in their cars, skipped homeroom and were late to school (started the day off h4rdc0rE). They arrived, hit the "start button," selected characters, ReB and v0dKa, and decided to go on a killing spree on Level 1 of H4rr15 Levels after spending an entire year planning it out. (They fapped over this for a year and some months) [[k/|building bombs, buying guns,]] [[dumbass|making movies and writing stories declaring their plans]] while KMFDM played in the background, and even practicing their killing spree on various first-person shooter games. However, they phailed hard because on their $5 per hour pay [http://acolumbinesite.com/weapon.html they could only afford shit-tier guns and not the TACTICOOL DEAGLEs or P90s that they fapped over].

==Loadout==
The Columbine killers assembled an [[shit|impressive]] arsenal- well, impressive for the minimum wage budget they were running on. These are the evil tactical sentient mass murder assault weapons that crybaby leftist cocksuckers want to ban:

<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
!colspan="2"|Eric Harris
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Hi-point 995 Carbine
<center>[[File:Eric Rifle.png|70px]]</center>
|
*A cheap, ugly, piece-of-shit 9mm carbine with crappy poor quality 10 round magazines. The media at the time liked to refer to this gun as an 'assault rifle' even though it had been specifically designed to comply with the 'assault weapons ban' put in place in 1994 supposedly to stop things like this from happening. Real assault rifles (which are capable of selecting between semi and fully-automatic or burst fire) are not readily available to the general public anyway. '''TL;DR''': Epic gun control [[fail]]. '''18~30 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': *Savage-Springfield 67H Shotgun
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsRem870Sawed.png|90px]]</center>
|
*Pump action 12 gauge that no one's ever heard of that was over 30 years old. Stock completely sawed-off and barrel sawed-off to make the whole gun an illegally short 26 inches long (the length Eric wished his dick was). This gun became Eric's imaginary girlfriend which he called 'Arlene' and had sex with a number of times in an attempt to fill the shotgun cartridges with his AIDS infected semen to make it moar deadly. '''60~130 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Tertiary''': Pipe Bombs and Knives
<center>[[File:Eric_bombs.jpg|70px]]</center>
|
*An arsenal of poorly made explosives and lame knives they're too weak to successfully utilize unless they have a high critical rate is present. '''12~999 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 1''': Sociopathy/Psycho
<center>[[Image:George-bush-leads-the-us-towar.jpg|50px]]</center>
|
*This perk is derived from filling out one of the Autism/Asspie skill trees. 18 years of accumulated anglo rage unleashed upon the world. It is in his genetics to mass murder millions of people anyways. Unfortunately that little faggot was too much of a tool to do anything right. Extreme increase in damage, destruction, and HP in exchange for apathy towards the well-being of teammates. '''(+4 Frenzy points a day (+30% weapon damage, +3 Constitution for 6 minutes) (+20% weapon damage) (+25% intimidation success) (-90% empathy)'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 2''': Assault Trenchcoat
<center>[[Image:Trenchcoat.gif|50px]]</center>
|
*This cheap ass duster allows for additional inventory for the player along with a moderate bonus to intimidation attribute. However, movement is moderately staggered. '''(+8 inventory slots) (+30% intimidation success) (-1 Agility) (-10% movement speed)'''
|}
</div>

<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
!colspan="2"|Dylan Klebold
|-
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Intratech TEC-DC9
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsTEC9.png|90px]]</center>
|
*The other craptastic 9mm used. A poorly made, cheap, jam-o-matic made to look like a machine pistol to appeal to niggers and spics for use in drive-by's. Early models could be illegally converted to full-auto which, again, the media had a shit fit about even though the gun used was a later model which could not be converted. Not that they needed to worry as these two retards' ineptitude in engineering (as can be seen with the crappy non-exploding bombs they made) would probably mean that any attempt to convert it would just result in it [[Cum|exploding]] in their face the next time they tried to fire it. '''21~33 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Double-Barrel Savage 311-D
<center>[[File:GTA4IconsSawedOff.png|90px]]</center>
|
*A shitty double-barrel shotgun that was sawed off to an extreme and lacks a good stock, thus presenting extreme recoil to the noodle-armed kike. Very ineffective unless the Sneak Attack bonus is applied at close range. '''65~155 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Tertiary''': Pipe Bombs and Knives
<center>[[File:Knivesth.jpg|70px]]</center>
|
*An arsenal of poorly made explosives and lame knives they're too weak to successfully utilize unless a high critical rate is present. '''12~999 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Perk 1''': Height
<center>[[Image:Heightresource.jpg|50px]]</center>
|
*Dylan Klebold was a tall ass kike, standing at 6'3''. This provides additional movement speed along with the intimidation factor. (+15% movement speed) (+35% intimidation success)
|-
|
*'''Perk 2''': Assault Trenchcoat
<center>[[Image:Trenchcoat.gif|50px]]</center>
|
*This cheap ass duster allows for additional inventory for the player along with a moderate bonus to intimidation attribute. However, movement is moderately staggered. '''(+8 inventory slots) (+30% intimidation success) (-1 Agility) (-10% movement speed)'''
|}
</div>

In addition to this, the two faggots carried a number of knives that they [[Fail|didn't use]], along with a number of [[Terrorist|IEDs]] of various sizes and designs that they built using [[The Anarchist Cookbook|instructions from the Internet]] to [[Unrealistic expectations|blow up the school]], but ultimately failed when the vast majority of them didn't assplode. These include:

*42 [[Fart|carbon dioxide]] bombs
*27 [[Dildo|pipe]] bombs
*11 1.5 gallon propane bombs
*7 [[Kill it with fire|Molotov cocktails]] (seriously how do you fuck up a Molotov cocktail?)
*2 20 pound propane bombs

As you can see, gun control laws totally work. Mass murder is only possible with full auto AK-47's. Criminals will totally follow the law and won't ever make homemade bombs or saw off their shotguns, or just go to gun shows to get around background checks. Totally.

==Graded Score==

{{GradedScore|14|5 by Klebold and 9 by Harris, 20 injured between the two.|11| |20|Manipulation, bomb collection, trenchcoat, ski masks, [[The Doom Comic|macabre flair]] and [[Gay|KMFDM]]|'''200'''|Creating a moral panic, inspiring generations of [[faggot|copy-cats]], and pissed off the school system for 20+ years|20|[[OG]] Shooters|265|'''S++'''|[[Fallout|Invest more skillpoints in Explosives next time.]]}}

{{Wanted|5}}

==Scapegoats==

<center><youtube>NiaxzBlFgmQ</youtube></center>

Eric and Dylan apparently had a lot of love and fanboyism towards Marylin Manson and his music according to [[Old Media]]. An irony, since in reality, Eric hated that fag and Dylan only had a poster of the band but rarely listened to it. Manson took part of the blame because angry parents [[retard|mistakenly]] believed that the two fags were obsessed his music. They also hated [[Hitler]], or at least Klebold did. Even more interesting was that he was a [[Jews did WTC|Jew]]. In addition, Klebold was born on '''9/11''', [[1980s|1981]]; 20 years before WTC. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Harris_and_Dylan_Klebold No, srsly.] [[No|Coincidence?]] Harris meanwhile admired both [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] AND [[Osama bin Laden|Osama Bin Ladin]], with Harris regularly IMing Osama and telling him all about the various mass murder schemes that Harris dreamed up at night while masturbating to crime scene photos he downloaded off of the Internet. Most notably, Harris is the one who gave Osama the idea of flying planes into buildings, making Eric Harris the REAL [[Your mother|man]] behind 9/11.

Afterward, [[Soccer_mom|EVERYONE]] who loved to censor society felt the need to blame just about everything in pop culture as the cause of the killing spree, such as [[Eminem]], [[Doom]], and even [[Goth]]s, despite the killers hating goth culture and rap music. Others tried to blame the [http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124361.html/ Victim], by bringing up the fact that Columbine High School [[Truth|was a literal hell on Earth]], where a violent [[Jock]]ocracy, ruled by the worst of the worst of the school's student [[gay|athletes]], had complete and total control of the school. This was only further worsened by the school's ass-kissing teachers/administrators who allowed bullying to run rampant and was just [[Asking for it| asking for]] their students to take up arms and literally take the school back in violent revolution taken straight out of the history books tales of the American Revolution.

Of course, at the time it was unknown that Eric Harris was a complete and total sociopath who would have grown up to be a [[serial killer]] or the guy in special forces who goes insane in the field killing Iraqis, and has to be put down by his fellow [[redneck|soldiers]]. Or that his lover, Dylan Klebold, [[Truth|was a closet homosexual who let Eric fuck him in the ass and face]] and followed him with his plot, with Eric manipulating Dylan's emo-ness and submissive nature.

'''TL;DR:'''

<pre>In Littleton, Colorado born and raised
Making pipebombs was where I spent most of my days
Luvoxin' out Doomin' KMFDMin' all gay
And all settin' some time bombs outside of the school
When a couple of jocks
Who were up to no good
Started making fun of the way I dressed
I shot 18 kids and the cops got scared,
They said, "You're movin' with Ted Bundy and Jeff Dahmer in prison!"

I called for the cops and when they came near
The license plate said jocks and it had footballs in the mirror
If anything I can say this car was rare
But I thought "Now forget it" - "Yo ReB, to the commons!"

I pulled up to the school about 10 or 11
And I yelled to the cops "Natural Selection"
I looked at my high school
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Counter-Strike irl.</pre>

Columbine was ruled for years as the deadliest [[School Shooting]] [[evar]], until it was surpassed by the [[Virginia Tech massacre]] in [[2007]]. Of course, Virginia Tech is a college (and was committed by an Asian), so some argue that Columbine is still number one even though it took two people to kill 13, and even then, centered around a bunch of bombs that [[Fail|weren't built right and didn't fucking go off]]. Harris and Klebold were clearly trolling after [[I_did_it_for_the_lulz|killing ten people]]; Cho was [[trying too hard]].

==Controversy==
[[File:Students.gif|thumb|right]]
[[Image:coyaoi.jpg|thumb|right|Definitive proof that the [[columbine killers]] were fags.]]
[[Some argue]] that Eric and Dylan were [[fag|lovers]] and that [[Jews did WTC|Jews did Columbine]] or that Dylan just fell [[mugu]] to Eric's plan. What is funny about this though, is the fact that Dylan and Eric were actually part of a Jewish power movement bent on exterminating non-Jews, causing much lulz to people smart enough to research lolumbine. The fact that Klebold was born on September 11th, 1981, and his fag friend 'Reb' wanted to hijack a plane and crash it into the World Trade Center is enough evidence to support this hypothesis. This also made the gods of irony cum instantly upon hearing the "Friends of Rachael Club" say that Eric and Dylan were "Hitler worshipers".

In one of their videos called '''"Hitmen for Hire"''' (having previously featured a member of staff from the school), the boys proclaim themselves to be the [[white knights]] of those abused at the school by the jock shitheads, suggesting they would be targeting specific cliques for eradication. When the day finally arrived and the shooting began, it appears the ultra surge of orgasmic, delirium-inducing adrenaline pulsing through their minds took over, and they began shooting randomly, indicating a potential [[epic fail]] with regards to the mission objective - the boys did not have the bomb. They did, however, have an example of why terrorists should test DIY bombs prior to putting them into service when using [[The Anarchist Cookbook]] as primary reference material. The selection of an indiscriminate killing weapon (Propane tank bomb) forms a second disparity with the viewpoints from their [[white knight]] videos.
{{Clear}}

==List of jocks pwned==
[[File:ColumbineVictims.jpg|400px|center]]
<center>[http://acolumbinesite.com/victim/index.php Information on those PWN'd]</center>
===Fatalities===

*'''Rachel Scott'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 17/yo Stacy who was among the first casualties. We cover her in more detail later on in the article.

*'''Daniel Rohrbough'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 15/yo nerdy kid. Police incompetence with reporting his death, and conspiracies lead the family to believe that SWAT accidentally pwn'd him.

*'''Cassie Bernall'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 17/yo obsessive christfag. Many believed her to be the girl who was asked "[[Do you believe in god]]?, making her another martyr for religious freaks. We also have a segment about her below.

*'''Steve Curnow'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]:14/yo armyfag and jock.

*'''Corey DePooter'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 17/yo jock and normie

*'''Kelly Fleming'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: [[16 year old girls|16/yo]] [[emo]] [[artfag]] who looked like she would've shot up the school anyway even if Reb and Vodka hadn't

*'''Matthew Kechter'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 16/yo roidmonkey football jock/chad.

*'''Daniel Mauser'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 15/yo nerd who was a shining star to the planet and a [[Pretty cool guy]]. Sadly, the fag Eric Harris brutally murdered him. His dad, {{yt|ch|UCrhsJLphJ_-iIyW4R9o7_EA|Tom Mauser}}, would later go on to fight hard for [[Gun Control]], which certainly stopped the [[Aurora Theater Shooting]].

*'''Isaiah Shoels'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 18/yo nigra and jock who was called a nigger and murdered. His parents cried 'muh racism' and fled the evil bigoted state of [[Colorado]] to flee to more liberal pastures - [[Texas]].

*'''John Tomlin'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 16/yo christfag and redneck.

*'''Lauren Townsend'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 18/yo Stacy and captain of a volleyball team.

*'''Kyle Velasquez'''[[File:Pedobear_mourning_small.png|20px]]: 16/yo mentally disabled student with a big physique.

*'''William "Dave" Sanders'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 47/yo man who taught computer and business skills at the school for 25+ years. Upon discovering what was beginning to hatch out, he directed hundreds of students to safety. He was shot and critically wounded, leaving him to bleed to death while SWAT was too pussy to infiltrate the school and failed to stop 2 retards. This, along with the deaths of library students, caused extreme controversy. Verdict? '''Fuck the police.'''

*'''Anne Hochhalter'''[[File:Pedo_bear_too_old.png|20px]]: 43/yo chick who got injured at the age of 17. Her mom would later an-hero. Died on February 16, 2025 from the injuries she sustained nearly 26 years before.

===Injuries===

*'''Brian Anderson''': 17/yo injured by glass after Eric spotted him and shot a door. In interviews, he revealed that he was targeted due to wearing a white hat- a sign that he was a jock.

*'''Richard Castaldo''': 17/yo who was shot along with Rachael Scott at the beginning of the bloodbath. Although he survived, he was left permanently paralyzed and crippled, bound to a wheelchair. He was part of Michael Moore's movie, Bowling For Columbine. [[What|He was also semi-supportive of the]] [[Super Columbine Massacre RPG]] [[What|game]].

*'''Jennifer Doyle''': 17/yo generic Stacy who got shot

*'''Stephen Eubanks''': 16/yo who was best friend of Corey DePooter. Another jock douchebag

*'''Nicholas Foss''': 18/yo generic douche jock type

*'''Sean Graves''': 15/yo dude who got shot in the back. Played dead while Dylan stepped over him. Probably saved his life.

*'''Makai Hall''': 19/yo jap invader. Got interviewed by CNN

*'''Patrick Ireland''': 17/yo jock. He was the guy who fell down the windows to SWAT. Was the first to think up and propose within local communities by arming school teachers with firearms in order to prevent school shootings.

*'''Michael Johnson''': 15/yo guy with the most generic name ever.

*'''Joyce Jankowski''': 45/yo teacher.

*'''Mark Kintgen''': 17/yo ugly nerd who noticed the school message board read "Today is not a good day to be here." He got shot in the fucking head yet this nerdy son of a bitch survived.

*'''Lisa Kreutz''': 18/yo cute chick who luckily survived, but never spoke about what happened. Believed to be a {{Jew}}

*'''Lance Kirklin''': 16/yo boy who was friends with Brooks Brown and a few others. Got shot in the face, breaking off huge parts of his jaw and bones. Somehow was able to recover, and continued to hunt with his dad. At a town meeting attended by then-president [[Bill Clinton]], he spoke up in defense of gun rights, triggering liberal fags.

*'''Adam Kyler''': 16/yo guy who looked like what would happen when you press "Randomize" on the [[Oblivion]] character creation menu. He got harassed a lot by Dylan

*'''Stephanie Munson''': 17/yo chick who got shot in the foot who somehow managed to run the fuck out of the school and get help.

*'''Patricia Nielson''': 35/yo known as the annoying bitch in the Library calls to 9/11. STUDENTS DOWN UNDER THE TABLES!!!!1

*'''Nicole Nowlen''': 16/yo chick who looked like a 40 yo.

*'''Jeanna Park''': 18/yo barely legal gook chick who was unsurprisingly an A+ student.

*'''Kacey Ruegsegger''': 17/yo chick who got shot and was told to "Quit your bitching". Her story was an integral part of Lolumbine lore.

*'''Valeen Schnurr''': 18/yo who was the real chick who was asked if she believed in god.

*'''Daniel Steepleton''': 17/yo kid who provided lots of false information to the pigs

*'''Evan Todd''': 15/yo jock asshole who was unfortunately spared by Dylan.

*'''Mark Taylor''': 17/yo new kid who was at the school for only 3 weeks before he was injured via ballistic trauma- a new record for an American student!

===Post-massacre fatalities===
Despite the caucasian chimpout being long over, Columbine left an invincible wave of destruction to forever plague the victims and their families, and people all over the world.

*'''Hundreds of People''': A huge chunk of mass shootings, and nearly '''all''' school shootings, connect to Columbine in a way, as the massacre opened up a pandora's box, spawning [[Columbine Copycats|copycats]] and helping to turn the act of ass murder into a meme for losers to follow.

*'''Greg Barnes''': This guy was the friend of Matthew Kechter who was shot to death in the shooting. The overwhelming sorrow of brutally losing his best buddy helped to push this troubled teen over the edge. Shortly after the first anniversary of the attack, this guy killed himself via hanging, while he listened to the song "Adam's Song" by Blink 182. This caused significant drama in the already-shocked community.

*'''Carla Hochhalter''': Mother of Anne Hochhalter, who was injured in the attacks. Carla was severely depressed before Columbine, but the event pushed her over the edge. She killed herself at a gun store in front of around a dozen witnesses.

*'''Austin Eubanks''': Victim who {{archive|ihJmb|'lost his battle'}} to [[drugs]].

*'''Anne Marie Hochhalter''': The daughter of Carla Hochhalter. She died from sepsis in 2025 after one of those rascals shot her in the spine during lunch in 1999. Her death was ruled a homicide officially making her the 14th casualty. Congrats boys for the +1 to casualties 24 years post mortem!

==Rachael Scott==

'''Rachael Scott''' was some stupid [[cunt|cunt]] who made the mistake of [[retard|eating outside the front door of Columbine High School]] the day of the grand Caucasian chimpout spree. [[Rape|She caught a few dozen rounds in the]] [[ass]] and [[tits]] and died. This caused many [[Christfag]] family members to instantly [[cry|bawwww]] over the loss of their little girl (also known as [[Missing white woman syndrome]]). [[Jew|They then decided to market her]]. [[liar|They said that "she envisioned changing the world" and that in her bullet-ridden notebook she drew a picture of a plant crying "9 tears". Those "9 tears" were apparently a psychic vision made by the dead bitch]].

===Friends of Rachael Club===
So the hillbilly fucks started a group/way to profit off from the death of a family member, called the "friends of Rachael club". Basically, they [[troll]] the hallways of high schools asking people to be nice to random wapanese and animefags and asking for donations. Only [[fat|fat losers]], [[cunt|cunts]] with no boyfriends, [[furry|furries]], and [[dyke|dykes]] are in the friends of Rachael club. To sell the groups image they had a random hick they paid in moonshine say he was Rachael’s uncle, and that [http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124361.html/ Eric and Dylan were Nazis]. When he said this, schools everywhere then shat bricks and exclaimed in the genius fashion that only high schoolers can achieve, "HITLER IS BAD!!!1ONEONEONE" Many other students then responded by closing the pool and forming 8 man swastigets.

tl;dr Rachael got [http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124361.html/ owned] and family is butthurt.

{{Clear}}

===''I'm Not Ashamed''===

[[2016|Seventeen years after Columbine]], the family STILL tries to profit off the death of their daughter; this time, they've contracted a team to make a movie about the dead bitch. The only ones to give good reviews are typically [[redundant|religious nuts]]. There are some reports that numerous [[Columbiners]] went to see this movie [[IRL Troll|whilst wearing a trenchcoat]].

<center><youtube>KdS4CFj02Bo</youtube></center>

==Cassie Bernall==
Urban legend has it that one of their victims, a girl named Cassie, was reading a Bible in study hall when the two stormed in and started [[trolling IRL]]. The less socially awkward boy noticed this and [[allegedly]] asked her, "[[Do you believe in god]]?" to which she answered "yes" and was beaten to death with a [[Half-Life|crowbar]]. [[IRL]] none of this actually happened, as he simply shot her after saying "Peekaboo". The last person to see her alive said that her last words were "Dear God. Dear God. Why is this happening? I just want to go home," one of the whiniest things heard by man, so the shooter was obligated to shoot her. Her parents have since milked the story to make lots of [[money]] as neither of them have a [[conscience]]. She has since become [[an hero]] to the cult of [[Christianity]].

People try to use Cassie's death as a way to prove the so-called oppression of the Christians in today's society, forgetting the rest of the godless heathens who were shot up that day. [[PROTIP]]: They all fucking deserved it.

Until, of course, you point out to them that no one asked Cassie a goddamned thing and that the question was really directed at another girl, Valeen Schnurr (who lived through the massacre, but didn't get the credit due to her incredibly stupid-sounding name). Survivors are nowhere near as marketable as corpses.

==JO MAMMA!==
Eric Harris, when he wasn't building bombs or fucking his boyfriend or dreaming up new ways to kill people over IRC with Osama Bin Ladin, had a number of web pages, where he pioneered the [[anti-joke]], mirrored [http://acolumbinesite.com/eric/mama.html here].

Prime selections:

''JO mamma's kitchen lights are SO bright that you can see grease, dust, or any other bad thing in need of seeing.....JJJEEAAAA!!!!!!!!!

''JO mamma sees so many stray dogs in her neighborhood that she talks the humans society a lot.....JJJEAAAAA''

''Jo mamma likes cheesecake so much that she makes a pretty good one herself!....whenever she wants!......one......JEEEYAAAAA!!!''

''Jo mamma has said the word carrot so many times, that she is very good at pronouncing it! JEEEEYAAAAA!!!''''

Insults done by REB, VoDkA, and KiBBz (a friend of theirs IRL).

Badass.

==OMG there's an RPG!!!==
Released on the anniversary of the Columbine Massacre in [[2005]], [[Super Columbine Massacre RPG]] was an instant Internet success, causing epic levels of butthurt and win. The game can be found [http://www.columbinegame.com/ here].

{{main|Super Columbine Massacre RPG}}

==Fun ways to troll Columbine survivors==

Go ahead. It's as easy as 1-2-3!

*1.) Look up the Columbine survivors (their names are listed all over the net)
*2.) Log onto Facebook
*3.) Type one of the survivor's names in the Facebook search bar
*4.) If you find that one of the supposed survivors has an existing account, make sure it is the exact person
*5.) Send them a message explaining how "sorry" you are for their experience
*???) Wait for a genuine reply
*PROFIT!) After they have replied, send them a link to this page :)

BONUS ROUND!!1 - If they reply to you (and don't block and ghost you) take screencaps of it and put them below this sentence!

== Videos ==

{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{videoframe|RYTP|background-color: #4D0909;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>8kBuLYYdn1w</youtube> <center>'''Victim's Dad feeds the trolls'''</center>
|<youtube>dtKV8Z7-oPg</youtube> <center>'''Columbine:Reloaded (UNFINISHED TEST)'''</center>
|<youtube>F6BxyVy2XJc</youtube> <center>'''[[Pokemon]] remix'''</center>
|<youtube>a4K8YE1ZatU</youtube> <center>'''Another one</center>
|<youtube>kDUF8AnuqcM</youtube> <center>'''[[SpongeBob|ColumBob]]'''</center>
|<youtube>aXAaijf-1JU</youtube> <center>'''ERIC HARRIS STRIKES BACK'''</center>
|<youtube>Fq1V4jHOePU</youtube> <center>'''Columbine REMIX'''</center>
|<youtube>sx8UegbfkVQ</youtube> <center>'''Lost Basement Tapes recovered'''</center>
|<youtube>10kpjp05IkA</youtube> <center>'''Columbine Ref's in [[Eminem]]'s Music'''</center>
|<youtube>uNsW4OkKOm4</youtube> <center>'''Columbine [[Doom]] .wad'''</center>}}|border=#FF4000|background=#FF4000}}
|}

== The basement tapes ==
So far only two out of five tapes were officially released to the public, the other three are claimed to be [http://www.westword.com/news/columbine-killers-basement-tapes-destroyed-6283043 destroyed] because of fear of potential [[Columbine Copycats|copycat]] violence in [[teenager|teenaged]] white kids.
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|
|<youtube>su_vpW3mM5w</youtube> <center>'''Hitmen For Hire - tape 01'''</center>
|<youtube>nRM2Hy3-PhU</youtube> <center>'''Shooting Range - tape 02'''</center>
|}



==Gallery==
{{notice|For a comprehensive gallery, please refer to [[Columbine Gallery]]. Please keep only the best pictures below. Otherwise, put your pictures on the [[Columbine Gallery]] page.}}

{{cg|'''Columbine Cartography'''|COLgall|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Columbine-meme-generator-hate-school-so-much-you-die-there-f65d90.jpg|School sucks!!!
File:Hitmenforhire.png|Hitman for hire.
File:Columbinedoom.jpg|Definitive proof video games cause violence
File:High+school wii collumbine.jpg|The musical.
File:MassacreTime.jpg|COMMIT MASS MURDER!
File:Columbine gta.jpg|GTA:Littleton
File:Schoolraider3.jpg|School Raider
File:Columbineinternet.jpg|We are from teh intarwebz.
File:Ericharrisyugioh.png|As a Yugioh card
File:42099shrooms.jpg|Impressive fanart, made on shrooms
File:Hitman.gif|Hitman: Silent Assassin.
File:Columbinego.png|Columbine: GO
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Columbinewasted.jpg|WASTED
File:Chs1999lulz.jpg|Jaguars WTF guy
File:Gayevidence2.jpg|More evidence they were fags
File:Shootupyourschool.jpg|Generic white male
File:Natural38433843.jpg|$420.99
File:Bike.gif|What are you doing to my sister's bike?!
File:Columbineinanutshell.jpg|Columbine in a nutshell
File:Killersdiary.png|Gay secret that made them kill
File:Wrathnaturalselection.png|NBK
File:Columbinelegacy.jpg|Legacy of Columbine
File:Columbinehighschool.jpg|Columbine High School, 2016
File:Whitecaps.png|A jock with a white hat
File:Columbinecrosses.jpg|Crosses for the victims. All fifteen of them.
File:Classof1999.jpg|Class of 1999
File:Wimpykid.jpg|Diary of a Wimpy Kid
File:Columbine army of two.png|Army of Two
File:Tec9.jpg|The true culprit!
File:Radiationclothings.gif|Radioactive clothing.
</gallery>|}}

==See also==

'''Influenced by:'''

* [[Charles Manson]] - Wrote an essay about him
* [[Timothy McVeigh]] - Wanted to surpass him but failed
* [[Doom]] & [[Eminem]] - Brainwashed by these to [[Postal|go postal.]]

'''Inspired to follow their lead:'''

*[[Columbine Copycats]] - For a detailed list, please check out this page.

*[[Vladislav Roslyakov]] - Tried to copy Columbine, [[win|and actually succeeded]].
*[[Ryan Schallenberger]] - Also tried to copy Columbine, [[fail|but failed]].
*[[Cho Seung-Hui]] of the [[Virginia Tech shootings massacre]] - Mentions their names in his manifesto.
*[[Adam Lanza]] - Was obsessed with columbine before his shooting spree.
*[[TJ Lane]] - Wore a "KILLER" T-shirt to mimic the "WRATH" and "Natural Selection" T-shirts worn by them.
*[[Pekka-Eric Auvinen]] - Plagiarized their dairies in his manifesto.
*[[Jeff Weise]] - Trenchcoat, same music, liked Columbine-based movies, nazi-philia, shooting threat on [[an_hero_day|4/20]], and also asked people if they believed in god.
*[[Chris Harper-Mercer]] - Like weise, also copycatted the "Do you believe in god" line.
*[[Kimveer Gill]] - Fanboi autist of Reb & VoDKa who managed to only [[Epic Fail|rack up 1 single kill]].
*[[Randy Robert Stair]] - Mentally ill tranny autist freak who became a [[Columbiner]] and wanted to go for the [[high score]] after learning about Columbine.
*[[Matthew Murray]] - Plagiarized Eric Harris constantly.
*[[Alex Hribal]] - Claimed to have been possessed by the spirits of Reb & VoD and forced to carry out an attack.
*[[Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath]] - Along with two other fags, attempted to copycat columbine but got arrested b4 the plan kicked off.
*[[Lynn Ann]] - The most dedicated fangirl in lolumbiner history.
*[[William Atchison]] - Tried to emulate his two heroes, [[lmao|but failed miserably]].
'''Other'''

*[[Super Columbine Massacre RPG]] - Game inspired by the incident
*[[School Shooter: North American Tour 2012]] - Another game inspired by the incident
*[[Defense Industries Organization]]
*[[Dillon Cossey]]
*[[Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting]]
*[[Mark Essex]]
*[[Murder]]
*[[Suicide]]
*[[ZDaemon]]
*[[Natural_Selection_game|''Natural Selection'' (game)]]
*[[Patrick Purdy]]
*[[Thomas Watt Hamilton]] - UK's version of Eric Harris
*[[Sandy Hook]]
*[[Salvador Ramos]] - [[Tranny]] [[spic]] who shot up a school in [[Texas]]

==External links==
[[File:Sincecolumbine.jpg|thumb|right]]

===Play at home versions===
Try for the high score with these games!
*[http://www.acolumbinesite.com/eric/doom.html Eric's ''Doom'' WADs] (said to be srsly [[lame]] but bloody) and some ''Quake'' stuff (only the readmes thar, awww, noes!)
* [http://www.columbinegame.com/index.htm Super Columbine massacre RPG]: The Disclaimer says this game is intended to deepen the understanding of the shooting and its possible causes but we know this game was actually made [[lulz|for the LULZ]]!
*[[Lulzy Mods#Columbine Simulation|Columbine Reinactment Mod]] - Got GMOD? Load this into the game and go apeshit!

===Relics===
Old shit from the 90s and early 2000s

*[http://www.asecular.com/trenchcoat/ Columbine Parody Site]{{Archive|QX4US}} - tricked lots of retarded boomers back in the day.

===Info pages / resources===
*[[Amazon]] supports this [http://www.acolumbinesite.com/ Exploitation site] - Site has some good media, a lot of [[Whine|whining]], and more [[lies|disinformation]].
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8yM_WKDZsKD0lJ_BzwpflQ The most comprehensive video gallery relating to lolumbine yet!]
*[http://www.members.tripod.com/~VanessaWest/columbine-4.html An incredibly detailed page on the whole thing from start to finish with a detailed timeline, reports, evidence, and media. Seriously, this woman has way too much free time.]
*[http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f237/columbine-victims-death-crime-scene-pictures-37271/ Columbine Victim's Death & Crime Scene Pictures]
*[http://community.livejournal.com/rebandvodka/ LOL fanbois]
*[http://incogman.net/2009/04/columbine-10-years-of-jew-media-lies/ Proof Jews did Columbine]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0356561/ First and best movie treatment so far.]
*[https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/btf4y/iama_former_student_of_columbine_high_school_ama/ AMA from a Lolumbine Student]
*[https://www.reddit.com/comments/gulaf/iama_columbine_survivor_named_brooks_brown_i_was/ AMA from Brooks Brown, former BFF of Dylan IRL]
*[https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B-FhGN3q1_lYcWw1N243TjdiZEU Columbine 1999 Yearbook]

===Old news articles===

*{{Archive|Q8dNB|Goth-fashion crackdown seen by some as fascism}}
*[http://extras.denverpost.com/news/shotarch1.htm Denver Post articles from July 1 1999 to Nov 30 2000]
*[http://extras.denverpost.com/news/shotmain.htm Denver Post articles from Dec 1 2000 to April 7 2001]

===Modern news articles===
*[http://www.cannabisculture.com/content/2009/04/20/taking-back-420-richard-castaldo-ten-years-after-columbine Taking Back 4/20: Richard Castaldo Ten Years After Columbine]

{{Columbine}}
{{education}}
{{Goth}}
{{Elliot Rodger}}
{{High Scores}}
{{gun control}}
{{anheroes}}
{{Lulzhistory}}
{{Jewseries}}
 

{{Timeline|Featured article April 20, [[2009]]|[[Manhunt]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Manhunt]]}}

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Columbine]]
[[Category:Crime]]
[[Category:Suicide]]
[[Category:1999]]

User:Kamaloka/Sandbox

2025-02-17T04:51:29Z

Kamaloka:

{{UserSandbox}}


[[Ian]]
[https://lolcow.farm/pt/res/313147.html Keekweek]

==Pretty Ugly Little Liar==
Pretty Ugly Little Liar was a forum that essentially is lolcow.farm in content and "discussion" if the users were fragile kpop stans. Despite cerebmin's efforts to direct PULLfags to the [[Kiwi Farms|inferior farms]], they still migrated en masse to LC and to this day, still fail to integrate. They can mainly be found in the [[fujoshi|fujo]] and [[incest]] threads on /m/.

Shayna Clifford

Elaine Gertler

Lolcow.org is an imageboard based on, and inspired by, /cgl/, a board to discuss cosplay on 4channel (4chan.org). It is the largest English speaking TERF image board of its type. It is a website designed for biological female adults only. The culture of lolcow is a deeply complicated one. It is Japanese themed and inspired. The boards were originally designed to discuss pixyteri. /pt/ was and remains the "pixyteri" board, which is by far the most visited board on the site, receiving as it does over 100,000 posts a day. However, it is nothing remotely like or related to Twitter. It really is an adult web site. The long running joke that has developed over the past 3 or so years is that everybody on the website, (well, on /pt/ anyway) whilst ADULTS, and reasonably intelligent ones at that, engage in moronic activities verging on the utterly stupid. The joke being that everyone acts like the same retarded individual. WHILST KNOWING THAT THEY ARE NOT. The joke is in the delivery.

The humor was fairly unique, and ridiculously complex and almost impossible to follow as a newbie. The problem that has blighted lolcow in recent years (and which really started to kick in about 2 or so years ago) is that newcomers to the site, usually heading to /pt/ to see what the fuss is all about, see the retardedness of people acting like 14-year-olds, and then start thinking that indeed, the website is a place for 14 years olds to hang out and be retarded. This in turn lead to masses of underage users flooding the site. Recent media attention makes this problem increase. Eventually, so many 14-year-olds end up browsing the site that the original adult userbase has been overshadowed by the masses of underage people who have now turned the joke inside out, and the site has now literally become a place for 14-year-olds to be retarded.

There are several problems with this. The first is that all the old populace of lolcow start whining about this very fact. The second is that the quality of posting completely degrades. The old rules were that you would have to lurk for ages before posting. And you actually would, because the in-jokes were so obscure and closely knit that lurking was the only way you had of knowing what the hell was going on. People now don't bother, and so many new users means that the original point of the board (an extension of a cosplay discussion board celebrating a retarded sense of humor crossed with visceral disgust for fat people) has been wiped clean.

This is a direct result of the board achieving widespread popularity and new users from sites like this. So now, rather than massive photoshop contests (similar to Photoshop Friday on SomethingAwful) or well written stories, either humorous, or completely obscene, written by adults, the board is flooded with people posting pictures of themselves, reposting old, long dead memes (memetics; the idea of something catching on to the popular masses, think the stupid "whasssup" Budweiser adverts...idiots shouting it at their friends and so on) that are no longer funny, people taking the idea of anonymous/legion seriously (protip: it's a joke) people reposting threads such as "you raff you ruse" without sometimes even knowing what that means, and generally forgetting that 4chan is an IMAGEBOARD and that posts should be all about interesting/freaky/funny/downright disturbing photo's, drawings and photoshops.

Lolcow.farm

2025-02-17T04:39:32Z

Kamaloka:

<center>[[File:Lolcow.png.gif]]{{quote|The lolcows posted here are, shockingly, not works of fiction or falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as false.|Lolcow Official Statment}}
</center>

Lolcow.farm is an [[imageboard]] created by [[drama queen|drama thirsty cunts]] after [[Pixyteri]] discussion was banned from [[4chan|/cgl/]]. Being filled with /cgl/ refugees, lolcow is one of the female-centric chans. It is filled with ugly women being [[catty]] [[bitches]] toward each other on the [[internet]] over petty [[Girl Drama|girl drama]]. Here you can find pointless discussion of your favorite [[fat|hambeast]] e-[[whore]]'s daily lives, unnecessary infighting about [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/|the Cancer that is killing /ot/]], and repetitive nitpicking.

Despite it's origins, lolcow users (aka [[anon|nonas]]) view 4chan as LC's weird perverted uncle. As decreed by the site's rules, only [[femcel|biological females]] may post there. [[Underage]] [[Tiktok]] users are known to occasionally wander from their [[India|desolate shithole land]] to the green pastures of the farms to defend [[tranny|trans rights]] in which case they are told to [[LURK MOAR]] and subsequently lynched.

==History==
[[File:Cglpost.png|thumb|right|From /cgl/ to lolcow, not much has changed.]]

Lolcow chan is actually third down the line in terms of /cgl/ refugee campgrounds. The /cgl/ rule of "Don't bring community vendettas onto this board. Singling out individual [[cosplayers]] for the purposes of trolling them will not be tolerated" has long existed, but hasn't been enforced until [[moot]] decided to show off his boner for Pixy and banned all discussion of specific cosplayers or [[EGL|lolitas]]. The first chanboard of the saga was Maximum.Faggotry.org, which was rumored to have been run by Flan. After the first chan closed, Staminarose popped up to take in the drama starved seagulls. After some troll made up stories about PT being a pedo, the admin went into a panic and closed the site down. Some fucking retards at SR claimed PT molested a 3 year old and took pictures, but that the pictures "[[bullshit|couldn't be posted because we don't want to get Britfag (current troll trolling PT) in trouble for convincing PT to take pictures of said molestation]]." Some bitches took it seriously, and SR [[retard|admin]] shut the site down due to claims of contacting PT, Interpol and local police. [[Troll's Remorse|Hoaxfags outed themselves]] because it turns out PT does babysit and someone threatened to call Interpol. They didn't realize PT babysat when they were fabricating the story. Many attempts were made to contact the admin, but admin disappeared off the face of the internet and many a great thread was lost.
After all this bullshit, Lolcow.farm was forged, and drama was plentiful once again.

==The disappearance of lolcow.farm==
In September 2024, the unthinkable happened: lolcow.farm went offline. Farmers were parched of their [[lulz|delicious, life sustaining milk]] for one whole week. In desperation, some even turned to crystal.cafe to satiate their cravings but to no avail. Thankfully, [[janny|those who do it for free]] fixed the server issues and all was good again.

[[File:lolcow-tan.jpg|thumb|Lolcow-tan or Elsie]]
[[File:lolcow petition.png|thumb|NOOOOOO!!!!! YOU CAN'T BE MEAN TO PEOPLE ON TEH INTERNETS!!!1!]]
[[File:mommys cyber bullying.jpg|thumb|lolcow.farm users in their natural habitat]]
==Content==

'''/pt/''' - Short for "PixyTeri", though not exclusively dedicated to her. This is where discussion of all the former /cgl/ dramacows happens. As expected, the board is filled with a bunch of bitches being petty and picking shit apart. Home to the most well known lolcows.
*[[Lillee Jean]]
*[[Kiki Kannibal]]
*[[Shane Dawson]]
*[[Jeffree Star]]
*[[Venus Angelic|Margaret Palermo]]
*[[Jonathan Yaniv]]
*[[Onision]]

'''/snow/''' - Short for "snowflakes", /snow/ was originally designed for all the shit threads on /pt/, /snow/ is not a higher populated board for cows who the admin doesn't care about. However, it has since become popular and is responsible for attracting a large amount of [[banned|underage ban]]. This is where lesser known cows are documented until they become notable or [[Lulzy|milky]] enough for /pt/.
*[[SSSniperWolf]]
*[[shoe0nhead]]
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]]
*[[H3H3]]
*[[Trisha Paytas]]
*[[Cosplay]] [[Whore|thots]]
**[[Jenna Lynn Meowri]]
**[[Sindy Pop]]

'''/w/''' - Designated board for [[Vlogger|vloggers]], [[lolita]], and [[cosplay]] oriented lolcows. Generally consists of [[fat]] [[weeaboos]] no one cares about. Serves to demonstrate how [[white people]] ruin everything they touch.
*[[Belle Delphine]] and other wannabe [[E-girls]]
*[[Digibro]]
* Shitty western [[Vocaloid]] producers

'''/ot/''' - [[Feminism|Radfem]] /b/.

'''/g/''' - The [[Female|girl]] talk board. Topics range from skincare advice to <s>[[Waifu|husbando]]</s> [[Luigi Mangione]] [[coomer|thirst]] threads.

'''/m/''' - The media board. Home to more husbando threads and discussion of [[vidya]].

'''/meta/''' - Exactly what you think it is

'''/shay/''' - A board dedicated to /snow/'s most controversial cow, Shayna Clifford.

===Former Boards===

'''/b/''' - The random board that had no traffic. Mostly a containment board for all the off-topic shit that plagued /pt/.

'''/manure/''' - All the high quality shitposting that would normally get you banned would go here.

==User Base==
Though users of the site are mostly from /cgl/, there is still a larger concentration of [[Tumblr]] users on Lolcow than on any other chan. This is partly due to the sites participation in Tumblr related drama that goes beyond [[SJW]] insanity, drawing Tumblr user to the site to either [[whiteknight]] or collect dramu. This has caused a certain degree of [[butthurt]] among the chantard users, as many a good thread gets derailed due to arguments with [[SJW]]s who [[Baww|don't understand]] [[racism|chan humor]]. Despite the claims of Tumblr hate from lolcow, [[irony|every single member has a Tumblr account and openly admits to it]].

The second group of foreign invaders are [[attention whore|special snowflakes]] from PULL, aka Pretty Ugly Little Liars. Threads about bitchy [[Photoshop]] queens are often filled with jelly PULL members who wish they could be pretty and skinny like the girl in the OP. When you see a poster A-logging hard at [[Dakota Rose]], they're more than likely from PULL. Much like the Tumblr users, PULL users are also easily [[triggered]] and will out themselves the second someone makes a comment about a bitches stretchmarks.

Aside from social justice autism, [[Pro-ana|thigh gaps]] are a particularly sensitive subject on lolcow. Call a girl [[fat]] for not having one and watch the thread descend into the abyss as attention whores [[lj|blogpost]] their body types and dieting habits.

Attempting to partake in any form of debate with a lolcow.farm user will result in you being called retarded and fat in 10 nanoseconds.
<center><gallery>
File:Lolcowposts.png|Typicall /pt/ posts
File:Shota.png|Despite the rampant, pearl-clutching, lolcow is infested with [[shota]]fags
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[4chan]]
*[[cow/|/cow/]]
*[[Chan]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Princess Doll]] - Boring weeaboo blogger who created her own thread and posted half the content in it.
*[[soyjak.party]] - LC's retarded kid cousin that plays with dolls

==External Links==
*[https://lolcow.farm/ Lolcow.farm]

{{Chans}}
{{sites}}
{{lolcows}}

Lolcow.farm

2025-02-17T04:28:29Z

Kamaloka:

<center>[[File:Lolcow.png.gif]]{{quote|The lolcows posted here are, shockingly, not works of fiction or falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as false.|Lolcow Official Statment}}
</center>

Lolcow.farm is an [[imageboard]] created by [[drama queen|drama thirsty cunts]] after [[Pixyteri]] discussion was banned from [[4chan|/cgl/]]. Being filled with /cgl/ refugees, lolcow is one of the female-centric chans. It is filled with ugly women being [[catty]] [[bitches]] toward each other on the [[internet]] over petty [[Girl Drama|girl drama]]. Here you can find pointless discussion of your favorite [[fat|hambeast]] e-[[whore]]'s daily lives, unnecessary infighting about [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/|the Cancer that is killing /ot/]], and repetitive nitpicking.

Despite it's origins, lolcow users (aka [[anon|nonas]]) view 4chan as LC's weird perverted uncle. As decreed by the site's rules, only [[femcel|biological females]] may post there. [[Underage]] [[Twitter]] users are known to occasionally wander from their [[India|desolate shithole lands]] to the green pastures of the farms to defend [[tranny|trans rights]] in which case they are told to [[LURK MOAR]] and subsequently lynched.

==History==
[[File:Cglpost.png|thumb|right|From /cgl/ to lolcow, not much has changed.]]

Lolcow chan is actually third down the line in terms of /cgl/ refugee campgrounds. The /cgl/ rule of "Don't bring community vendettas onto this board. Singling out individual [[cosplayers]] for the purposes of trolling them will not be tolerated" has long existed, but hasn't been enforced until [[moot]] decided to show off his boner for Pixy and banned all discussion of specific cosplayers or [[EGL|lolitas]]. The first chanboard of the saga was Maximum.Faggotry.org, which was rumored to have been run by Flan. After the first chan closed, Staminarose popped up to take in the drama starved seagulls. After some troll made up stories about PT being a pedo, the admin went into a panic and closed the site down. Some fucking retards at SR claimed PT molested a 3 year old and took pictures, but that the pictures "[[bullshit|couldn't be posted because we don't want to get Britfag (current troll trolling PT) in trouble for convincing PT to take pictures of said molestation]]." Some bitches took it seriously, and SR [[retard|admin]] shut the site down due to claims of contacting PT, Interpol and local police. [[Troll's Remorse|Hoaxfags outed themselves]] because it turns out PT does babysit and someone threatened to call Interpol. They didn't realize PT babysat when they were fabricating the story. Many attempts were made to contact the admin, but admin disappeared off the face of the internet and many a great thread was lost.
After all this bullshit, Lolcow.farm was forged, and drama was plentiful once again.

==The disappearance of lolcow.farm==
In September 2024, the unthinkable happened: lolcow.farm went offline. Farmers were parched of their [[lulz|delicious, life sustaining milk]] for one whole week. In desperation, some even turned to crystal.cafe to satiate their cravings but to no avail. Thankfully, [[janny|those who do it for free]] fixed the server issues and all was good again.

[[File:lolcow-tan.jpg|thumb|Lolcow-tan]]
[[File:lolcow petition.png|thumb|NOOOOOO!!!!! YOU CAN'T BE MEAN TO PEOPLE ON TEH INTERNETS!!!1!]]
[[File:mommys cyber bullying.jpg|thumb|lolcow.farm users in their natural habitat]]
==Content==

'''/pt/''' - Short for "PixyTeri", though not exclusively dedicated to her. This is where discussion of all the former /cgl/ dramacows happens. As expected, the board is filled with a bunch of bitches being petty and picking shit apart. Home to the most well known lolcows.
*[[Lillee Jean]]
*[[Kiki Kannibal]]
*[[Shane Dawson]]
*[[Jeffree Star]]
*[[Venus Angelic|Margaret Palermo]]
*[[Jonathan Yaniv]]
*[[Onision]]

'''/snow/''' - Short for "snowflakes", /snow/ was originally designed for all the shit threads on /pt/, /snow/ is not a higher populated board for cows who the admin doesn't care about. However, it has since become popular and is responsible for attracting a large amount of [[banned|underage ban]]. This is where lesser known cows are documented until they become notable or [[Lulzy|milky]] enough for /pt/.
*[[SSSniperWolf]]
*[[shoe0nhead]]
*[[Isabella Loretta Janke]]
*[[H3H3]]
*[[Trisha Paytas]]
*[[Cosplay]] [[Whore|thots]]
**[[Jenna Lynn Meowri]]
**[[Sindy Pop]]

'''/w/''' - Designated board for [[Vlogger|vloggers]], [[lolita]], and [[cosplay]] oriented lolcows. Generally consists of [[fat]] [[weeaboos]] no one cares about. Serves to demonstrate how [[white people]] ruin everything they touch.
*[[Belle Delphine]] and other wannabe [[E-girls]]
*[[Digibro]]
* Shitty western [[Vocaloid]] producers

'''/ot/''' - [[Feminism|Radfem]] /b/.

'''/g/''' - The [[Female|girl]] talk board. Topics range from skincare advice to <s>[[Waifu|husbando]]</s> [[Luigi Mangione]] [[coomer|thirst]] threads.

'''/m/''' - The media board. Home to more husbando threads and discussion of [[vidya]].

'''/meta/''' - Exactly what you think it is

'''/shay/''' - A board dedicated to /snow/'s most controversial cow, Shayna Clifford.

===Former Boards===

'''/b/''' - The random board that had no traffic. Mostly a containment board for all the off-topic shit that plagued /pt/.

'''/manure/''' - All the high quality shitposting that would normally get you banned would go here.

==User Base==
Though users of the site are mostly from /cgl/, there is still a larger concentration of [[Tumblr]] users on Lolcow than on any other chan. This is partly due to the sites participation in Tumblr related drama that goes beyond [[SJW]] insanity, drawing Tumblr user to the site to either [[whiteknight]] or collect dramu. This has caused a certain degree of [[butthurt]] among the chantard users, as many a good thread gets derailed due to arguments with [[SJW]]s who [[Baww|don't understand]] [[racism|chan humor]]. Despite the claims of Tumblr hate from lolcow, [[irony|every single member has a Tumblr account and openly admits to it]].

The second group of foreign invaders are [[attention whore|special snowflakes]] from PULL, aka Pretty Ugly Little Liars. Threads about bitchy [[Photoshop]] queens are often filled with jelly PULL members who wish they could be pretty and skinny like the girl in the OP. When you see a poster A-logging hard at [[Dakota Rose]], they're more than likely from PULL. Much like the Tumblr users, PULL users are also easily [[triggered]] and will out themselves the second someone makes a comment about a bitches stretchmarks.

Aside from social justice autism, [[Pro-ana|thigh gaps]] are a particularly sensitive subject on lolcow. Call a girl [[fat]] for not having one and watch the thread descend into the abyss as attention whores [[lj|blogpost]] their body types and dieting habits.

Attempting to partake in any form of debate with a lolcow.farm user will result in you being called retarded and fat in 10 nanoseconds.
<center><gallery>
File:Lolcowposts.png|Typicall /pt/ posts
File:Shota.png|Despite the rampant, pearl-clutching, lolcow is infested with [[shota]]fags
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[4chan]]
*[[cow/|/cow/]]
*[[Chan]]
*[[Kiwi Farms]]
*[[Princess Doll]] - Boring weeaboo blogger who created her own thread and posted half the content in it.
*[[soyjak.party]] - LC's retarded kid cousin that plays with dolls

==External Links==
*[https://lolcow.farm/ Lolcow.farm]

{{Chans}}
{{sites}}
{{lolcows}}