Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Furfag

2024-11-11T02:56:53Z

Juiger: -juiger

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[[Image:furry gang.jpg|center|740px]]
 
[[Image:Yiff in hell by helghast5000-d3a4ma6.jpg|center|740px]]
 
[[Image:Furryfucks.jpg|thumb|right|All furries, no exceptions. The last guy is the reason for all of this faggotry, but he also makes an easy dollar.]]
[[File:Pleasedon'tarrestme.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:Typicalattentionwhore.png|thumb| What do you ''think'' happens when your parents find out you've been masturbating to animal people?]]
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If all '''furries''' were firm-bodied [[Playboy|women in bunny suits]], with nice [[Boobs|chesticles]] and a preference for [[Cock|the better race]], there'd be no need for an ED article and we'd be too [[fap|busy]] to write one. Unfortunately, furries are just the opposite, and what's worse is they want to convert you.

Furries are the scum of the earth, and the surest candidates for [[dying alone]]. The furry fandom will accept [[sick fuck|ANYONE]], including [[Kique7|dog-fucking zoophiles]], and hence attracts the worst and most [[you|pathetic people in the world]]. They are near the bottom of the Internet food chain, even ranking below [[Otherkin]] and [[bronies]] (both lesser kin to furries), [[Chris-chan]], and definitely above [[you]]. Furries are so ugly that they make [[Brian Peppers]] look attractive, so stupid that they make [[Asperger's syndrome|autistics]] look smart, and are overall pathetic beyond compare. Likewise, they are attracted to people who use perverted zoophile [[Snapchat]] animal filters such as the popular [[dog filter]]. [[FAIL]] doesn't even begin to encompass how bad furries do in life. [[Dying alone]] is the best they can do, preferably in the style of [[Mr Hands|Mr. Hands]].

To put furfaggotry in perspective, furries are to animals what [[LARP|larpers]] are to medieval faggotry, and the differences are sometimes very subtle. Larpers are at least willing to admit what they do is all in pretense,and generally try to keep it as separate as possible from their real lives (jobs, families, friends). But here's the difference: furries dont have lives to keep separate from their fandom, so they cling to their fandom as it's all they have. It can overtake their lives to a point where some furs actually [[Otherkin|believe that they are their fursonas]], when really they should just <strike>get a fucking life</strike> become [[an hero]] instead of fapping to bestiality porn on the [[Internet|webs]] all day long. Furfags have gone as far as [[child abuse|raising children as furs]], although instinctively the children realize their parents are [[Sick fuck|different]] and ultimately [[DO NOT WANT|reject]] it, thus proving that there is some hope for the human race which the furries have sought to destroy with their faggotry.

These [[faggots]] also got the 100m AND 200m [[GET]], which proves that furries truly are [[the cancer that is killing /b/]].

{{Quote|Forking hell if you dont got anything good to say, [[Politically Correct|FORK OFF!]] [[Crybaby|I dont care]] about what you think or [[Fuck The Police|rules]] or any-bloody-thing else! Look, [[Buttsecks|this sortof stuff]] in *nature*! If it wasnt then none of us would frggin be here right now! So [[Get a life|get a life]] and stay out of mine, okay? I dont need your crap -.-'|You wouldn't be alive to read this if it wasn't for [https://e621.net/post/show/486039/ gay Pokémon porn]}}

== What is this faggotry? ==

[[Image:Furries101.jpg|thumb|Furries spend most of their time arguing, whining or otherwise [[USI|attention whoring]].]]
[[Image:Modernefuries.png|thumb|...when they're not "[[Jailhouse gay|yiffing]]" or making [[furry art]].]]
[[Image:Herm_xenomorph_furfag_porn.jpg|200px|thumb| how furries see [[spics|aliens]]]]
[[File:Dumbfurry.png|200px|thumb|right|Classy, furries.]]

{{quote|Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck,
Screw a kangaroo. 
Fingerbang an orangutang, 
Orgy at the zoo.|''One of the earliest known furry anthems.''}}

[[Kique7|With a fetish for animals]], furrys can usually be found in the following places: [[gay|gay bars]], pet shops, 4chan, zooporn.com, and [[bestiality|in your dog's ass]].

Furries are [[Bestiality|zoophiles]] who like to [[Masturbation|masturbate]] to half-animal pornography. They have no justification. They get hot when they see animal people, occasionally dropping the [[PoeticIrony|"people" part]]. Some of them [[otherkin|make believe they are animals themselves]], but most are content to [[fursuit|dress up as animals]] and [[bestiality|have sex]]. Either way, every single one of them is [[insane|broken inside]].

Some furfags claim that they have [[bullshit|no sexual interest in animals]] whatsoever, and simply enjoy walking around their house in a fucking [[fursuit|dog suit]]. This is total [[bullshit|horseshit]]. All furfags are drawn to [[Bestiality|sexual perversity]], regardless of their preferred species. Furfags only say this kind of thing when threatened with death or when they are trying to "[[Surprise sex|surprise]] [[yiff]]" someone new. Just to be on the safe side, if a furfag ever tells you they're celibate, you should castrate them to ensure they is no possibility they contaminate humanity's gene pool any more than it already is.

Normal people tend to keep their fetishes and [[Autism|developmental oddities]] to themselves. Furries, on the other hand, believe their fetish is a lifestyle and that they must [[attentionwhore|announce it to everybody]] on the Internet through their icon or sig. Society might actually hate furfags ''less'' if they didn't wish to [[Serious business|justify]] their [[pervert|perversions]] so strongly that they bring their [[Fursuit|fursuits]] and [[Bestiality|molested dogs]] into every normal place they can find, and proceed to spew their coprolalia. Every pervert must first accept that they are fucked up and either [[They see me rollin'|roll with it]] or [[an hero]]. Furries refuse to do so, thus making them easy targets for [[troll]]s and [[lulz]].

The majority of the Internet hates them because they won't stay in [[fchan|FChan]] and [[FurAffinity|Fur Affinity]] and persist with annoying everyone with their [[Fursecution|persecution complex]] and disgusting [[fetish]]es. They are pushy, [[Pussybitch|obnoxious, gullible, insecure]], and completely incapable of understanding how downright stupid the concept of their fandom is. As such, they'll take offense to the claims of it being a sexual fetish, as if without the sexual aspect, being obsessed with cartoon animals would be [[Baby Fuck|perfectly fine]]. 'Cause it's totally normal to be romantically involved with Bugs Bunny or your pet dog... Dream on, faggots.

More often than not, furries will swear up and down that their precious fandom isn't all about the sex. This is utterly defeated the moment you wander into any furry artist's gallery be it on FA or [[hell|what have you]]. It will be plagued with absolutely nothing but smut drawings and smut commissions. It is also noted that furries will often try to tame their porn, by replacing it with extreme suggestions through other pictures or even how they articulate their words. They go to cons in the hopes of getting in a hotel bed with their other in their fur suits, since they can't get laid by standard human means. No matter how hard they try covering it up with charities or well-intention gestures towards some positive result, the bottom line is that this "fandom" is simply a giant fetish sex party in [[denial]].

Even going as far as denial, it's even funnier when they try so hard to justify why it is they're into this disease. They'll find any scapegoat they can but it all ends in the same way - they fantasize particular furry characters into many sex scenes and dragged through their sick fetishes. You can find furries hidden in other fandoms from Anime - Gaming because that's where and how they recruit more members into their orgy brood. Bug spray your fandoms from these cretins!!

Furries absolutely believe anything and everything animal-related is suddenly proclaimed as theirs. Any media from movies to tv to even songs, they will shamelessly claim as theirs and prop it up as some "furry anthem" to be proud of. You can guarantee that a fur cult will manifest when the next movie comes out that has a lead pair of CGI animal creatures complete with porn within 24 hours of the trailer's release.

Note: On occasion, some retard might accidentally mistake a fursuit for a Halloween costume. If you observe this phenomenon, explain the truth to the hapless faggot and point them to this article!

{{quote|I support enormous animal penises in my mouth.|[[TL;DR|A simple paraphrase]] of the [[tl;dr|below text]].}}

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Since I'm already shitting my whole fucking life down the toilet, I decided in my infinite wisdom tonight to finally let loose on the forums here and tell you all how I really fucking think, and it's so funny you'll fucking shit yourself like I almost did three times today because I've got FUCKING BLOODY DIARRHEA LOL.

First up on the chopping block, I'm smarter than you. No way, it's true. Due to the law of averages, the vast majority of people reading this are probably ready to rebuke me in some funny way which will make me laugh greatly, but the fact is it's true. Why? I don't need no fuckin' statistics, I just am. I aced high school, I aced college, and I'm acing my whole life right now. I'm running circles around my entire editorial board at my newspaper, and my faggot boss knows I'm smarter than her, but she's a skinny whiny Jew who thinks she knows better than everybody because she comes from Kansas and reads The New York Times. Fuck that. I'm the only one keeping that goddamn piece of shit rag in business and she fucking knows it, which is why she felt threatened by me today and decided to ream me out for the headlines I write at night: BAWWWW they're too fucking inaccurate! They're too fucking inappropriate! Fucking little whore.

Second up, hunters have no fucking rights. If you're a hunter, fuck you. If you've ever killed an animal just for the shit of it, fuck you. The only thing you savages have the right to do is the right to remain silent while the police arrest you for murder. Yes, murder. In these modern times we live in, what some like to call the 21st century, we as a species have evolved past the need for senseless barbarism like the kind of bullshit you assholes pull when you get liquored up and go kill Bambi. You know what? Nature can take care of itself, it has for millions of years. It doesn't need us fucking it up by hiding behind that bullshit reason of "population control". Yeah, I got your fucking population control right here. It's called kill the hunters. An eye for an eye. Capital punishment for capital murder. I consider the murder of animals to be on equal footing with the murder of humans. "Well Nightweaver, what about plants? They have feelings too baww baww baww. What about when you hit a deer/raccoon/squirrel with your car? What about stomping on insects?" You know what I'm fucking talking about you pieces of shit. Stop muddling the argument with your goddamn straw man bull. I don't need reams of scientific data to back up what I'm saying...KILLING IS WRONG NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.

Did you know that the vast majority of hunters in the U.S. are big fat neckbeards and rednecks, probably like the kind who post on this forum? It's true. Try going to India with that stupid "animals are lower than humans" shit you speciesist faggot, see how far you get before somebody runs your ass over. And don't try that bullshit that "we need them for food, we need them for research, we need them for clothing, we need them for this, we need them for that..." It doesn't hold any fucking water with me anymore, not that it ever really did. This is the same species which just mapped the human genome a few years ago; it's time for us to crawl out of the caveman macho bullshit days and get with the program. Yes I think I can make things better by yelling at you, so shut up. Yes I'm a member of PETA, so shut up. If I was less lazy and actually owned one, I'd take my gun and go out and hunt the hunters. I'd kill every one of you arrogant speciesist bastards I could find. Same goes for you meat-eaters. Hey asshole, I've thrived for 15 years on no meat, now it's YOUR turn to try it out. Or are you too pussy? Yeah that's what I thought, goddamn bunch of pussies who are too scared to go vegan. [[Scientology|My conscience is clear, what about yours?]] Hm? You don't mind they're killed in horrible ways in slaughterhouses? You ENJOY watching them die? Then you're the worst kind of scum, lower even than child molesters. I spit on your fetid corpse.

Finally (because I know you people are having OH SO MUCH FUN copying this into your ED entry on me), I DROP THE BIG BOMB! I'm into sex with animals! HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK. Guess what, it's kind of been skirted around in everything I've said about the topic anyway, but I support enormous animal penises in my mouth. Yes that's right, let's go there. OH SISTER! I will admit I've never actually tried it on any animal, but I would love to. I can hear someone now "Wow what a fucking hypocrite that he says he loves animals but wants to raep them lolololololoololol" Let me get one thing straight faggot: Pleasuring an animal sexually and raping them are two different things, and if you don't know the difference then you shouldn't be trying it in the first place.

Do you think your dog likes getting fucking blue balls because there's no pussy for him? THAT'S ABUSE. THAT'S RAEP. Letting your poor pet suffer in silence because of a lack of sexual gratification. So OK, we got dogs covered, and it's different with all animals and some are NOT designed for us, so you better stay the fuck away from them. But honestly, do you think that horse hates having his dick rubbed if he's standing there and thrusting his hips at you? Believe me pal, if that horse didn't want you there, you'd have a busted jaw or broken neck already from a hoof to the face. So those are the two most obvious examples of animals I would like to pleasure; it's amazing how fast everyone's going to misinterpret this post and read into this that I'm some SICK FUCK who you can't let near your children. That's amazing, those people should win a fucking Nobel Prize for their stupidity.

I'm about as benign a guy as you'll ever find, but here's what I can't get over: I'm in this fandom, furry fandom see, and its artists draw a LOT of dog cocks and a LOT of horse cocks and I'm like W-T-F? We love to see art of this shit but try soooo hard to deny to ourselves that it's just fantasy? Fuck you, slap yourself into reality. YOU'RE LOOKING AT DOG COCK AND GETTING OFF TO IT. Whether its drawn or not, you can't claim that you're not "into" animal sex. People just LOVE to make fun of us, zoophiles, bestialists, faggots, scum, whatever they call us. It's one big self-assuring joke apparently for humanity to delude itself into thinking that we're so much superior to lower animals that we cannot have sex with them. Interspecies sex is common in the wild, and yes I'm aware of the apparent hypocrisy between that and what I just said about hunting. "Animals hunt but we can't , but we can fuck them? Derpa derpa derp." Well guess what? We've domesticated all these species, and we are responsible for them. We're responsible for their care. Sometimes these poor beasts can't get off the way they want to, because of the physical restrictions we place on them by separating the sexes and so forth. So we should be able to masturbate them at least if they're horny and have no other outlet! I'd sign up to do it; I'd be at the fucking head of the line for that shit. Giant horse dick in my mouth? DO WANT!
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== How are furries made? ==

{{notice|'''[[PROTIP]]:''' Parents, only show your kids [[hunting|DEAD animals]]. The singing, talking kind only leads to tragedy. Do you really want to have to bail your kid out for bestiality?}}

[[Image:Furry In Training.jpg|thumb|Ghouls.]]
[[Image:WTFF_FURRY.jpg|thumb|[[Hello Kitty|We'll be friends]] forever!]]
[[Image:A fag bunny.jpeg|thumb|Disappointments.]]
[[Image:Coyote brah.jpg|!Riley Coyote|thumb|Freaks who self-identify as furries are generally candidates for [[Anorexia|other types]] of diseases and mental disorders aside from just their anthropomorphilia.]]

Furries are the products of children that are raised on a diet of [[The Lion King|cartoons that depict animals with love interests]]. Despite the opinion that it's the [[Internet]] that creates furries, [[Injuns|furries existed, and still exist, even without the Internet]]. Through movies, cartoons, Halloween costumes, toys, games, and other things that parents innocently expose their children to, children develop an interest in fur.

Although furries tend to develop before being exposed to the Internet, once they are exposed to the Internet they realize "[[ZOMG|THERE'RE OTHERS LIKE ME!]]" Thinking that having other people into the same crap you are makes things [[baby fuck|awwwright]]. They start [[cancer|encouraging each other]] instead of realizing they are [[sick fucks]] and getting help. This leads to your common furry: the thirty-year-old [[jail]]house [[gay]] [[man the harpoons|waste of flesh]] fapping in [[diaperfur|shit-stained diapers]] to [[bestiality|half-animal]] porn in their [[fail|mother's basement]].

Additionally, furries can also transmit the infectious disease of furfaggotry to others. Generally, this is a conscious and deliberate act on their part. Most furries are friends with many nonfurries in the general population, and for some reason they MUST share their sick fetishes with everyone, so they lure their friends to see "this awesome art site" or to go to a "scifi con". The worst part is that they just plain don't stop doing it. They will keep shoving their [[furry art]] in every non-furry's face, wearing ears and tails in public and otherwise screaming about how nice it is to be a furry in order to attempt to convert others to their sick fetish.

Furries will also try to subliminally convert others by creating anthro webcomics. Comics such as [[Housepets!]] usually suck shit, are unfunny and uninteresting. Every furry webcomic is perverted and should be avoided or else possible conversion may take place. Most, if not all, authors of these webcomics are morbidly obese and mentally unstable.

Think about it: If Furry life is so nice and accepting, why are they trying to [[Mormon|convert]] you? Wouldn't they already be happy among their numerous furry friends that they surely must have if the fandom is a loving, accepting, fun place? Why would they require assurance from real life people that what they're doing is OK if they know being a furry is perfectly fine?

It's all lies and only the most desperate and gullible people fall for it. This, of course, leads to even more sad wastes of flesh clamoring for attention and fighting online and trying to convert as many people offline in the hopes that someone, anyone, will actually love and accept them.

{{center|
[[Image:Raising furries.jpg|450px|thumb|center|A [[Pregfur|pregnant furry]] seeking advice on how to ruin her child's life.]]
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{{center|
{{cg|Recruiting techniques|furry1gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:DoopieDoover furry friend PB5656.png|The rare, black furry. Wants white women
File:Never trust furries.jpg|Furries try to recruit at any chance they get
File:Really-gay-costume.jpg|[[Joseph Kony|He'll snatch yo kids]]
File:Furry types.jpg
File:Nightmare furry.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT|"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me."]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Scary vintage furries photograph.jpg|It is believed the condition is inherited
File:4chan furry dialectic.png
File:Furries_-_Advice_Furtard_-_Fuck_Animals.png
File:Cumpetition.jpg|Cumpetition
File:Sigh1.gif|A furry [[Cum|coming]] out to his mom.
File:Furfag lies.png|Common lies. Don't fall for it!
File:Furspotting.jpg|Choose Twinkies, fatty.
File:Monkeyhat.jpg|A furry in the making
File:TanookiSuit.jpg|Mario, star of the popular Nintendo [[The Game|game]]
File:FurryChart.jpg|Furfag chart
File:Berenstain_bears_dick_kick.jpg|A furry book tempting kids with [[BDSM|painful pleasure]]
File:Illumaniti-furries.png|Bring the greasy thrill of furry to your very own home game!
File:Furrybarf.jpg|[[DrMusic2|Movie-making kids]] think dressing up as a dog is [[a cat is fine too|just fine]]
File:Furrychildren.jpg|Pity a furry's spawn
File:Furryrebuttalwm9.jpg|Typical furfag children at play. Bitch cried. So do most furfags when they see this on a hate site.
File:Totorostalk.jpg|Anime furry tempting the [[Wapanese]]
File:Yiffinhellfurfag.jpg|Girl sees through his clever disguise
File:ShadowRougefursuit.jpg|Furry and [[emo]]? [[DO NOT WANT|Christ]]...
File:Unrealisticballodumptruck.jpg|[[Unrealistic expectations|Unrealistic Expectations]]
File:brutal.jpg|You don't want to know what is going to happen if you buy one of those for your child.
File:Ohfurry.jpg|Tempting with guilt on YouTube
File:Magnet porn.jpg|[[Rule 34|Seducing]] [[Fuckin Magnets|ICP Fans]] and [[Megaman]] Fans at the same time.
File:Disney Sex Doll.jpg|Hand puppet with a [[SPH|badly placed hole]] or sex doll: you decide
File:Furry_-_Lovin_Lamb.jpg
File:Arthurintro.gif|How [[faggots|furries]] walk
File:Paradisefreedomlikesdogcocks.png |Rape is the usual tactic
File:Furry_-_General_-_Pregnancy.jpg
File:Furry evolution.jpg|The evolution of faggotry.
File:Yiffmusic.jpg
File:Furryfucks.jpg
File:MeowdyPurrtnerFurgift.png|Tumblr furries gifting another Tumblr furry with shit furry art.
</gallery>}}
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== Types of furries ==

=== Feralfur fuckers & [[bronies]] ===
[[Image:Furries_Dog_Fucker_Consent.png|185px|right]]
[[Image:Horse panties by stapleshut.png|185px|right]]

These are just straight up [[bestiality|animal fuck fetishists]] who try and use the larger furry community as a way of "blending in" and making their sordid sick fuckery look slightly less like a complete abomination of nature. As far as the furry pecking order they're generally considered the lowest of the low, right down there with cub fuckers and babyfurs. If you're furry and you want to try and feign some measure of normalcy this is one of the best types to use as a differential comparison.

Just play it off like, "Oh, I'm not one ''those'' furries, they're the ones who are giving the furry community a bad name!" In reality of course, every furry is in fact a feral fur fucker, it's just some furries are more in denial than others. By mixing human traits with animal traits "normal" furries can basically create a pseudo-separation from the horrifying stigma of wanting to molest actual animals.

Yes, [[bronies]]. No matter what any of them tell you, they all want to touch the no-nos of every one of the pastel plastered equestrian abominations. They are held so low in the furry community that they are '''literally''' the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the furry food chain. Each and every one of them is a sad, fat, autistic male in their 30’s who have nothing better to do with their pathetic existences than clop to those bug-eyed bastards. This, too, is a thinly-veiled hidden attraction to animals. They are shaped like horses and have zero human attributes outside of talking. Most bronies fap to pictures, not videos. They are fapping to pictures of technicolor'' regular'' horses.

As a rule of thumb, anyone who demands "realistic anatomy" just wants to fuck an animal. Realistic anatomy is codeword for "animal dick/vagina" and is your biggest red flag for a sick fuck. The more they complain about "realistic anatomy" the more of a sick fuck they really are.
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=== Cub fuckers & [[babyfur]]s ===

[[Image:Babyfurs_-_Mifmaf_-_Little_Ally_Cum_Dumpster.jpg|185px|right]]
[[Image:Baby_Furs_-_03.jpg|185px|right]]

What community would be complete without [[pedophiles|kiddy diddlers]]? Similar to the above mentioned bestiality types these sick sordid social rejects use the guise of furtardation in order to try and make their love of prepubescent rape seem [[awwright]].

Usually playing it off like, "It's not pedophilia because they're not real kids!" these proverbial onions of humanity use layer after layer of bullshit in order to try and sidestep and mask what it is they're really interested in. In some cases these types may not even be furry at all, but simply find it a convenient means to bypass existing rules and laws that rightly keep their sick fuckery otherwise in check.

Do not confuse these for Babyfurs who like to pretend they are still in the "shitting my pants" stage of life. These are people who have no illusions about being a child yet still want to fuck things that don't know how to say their ABCs yet. Often they will play "[[rape|loving]] parents", "Big brother/sisters" or other relatives for a nice big dose of [[incest]] to go along with their main fantasy of child diddling.

Babyfurs are known to be autistic in nature and long to have an eternal childhood, as well as being a fucking furfag. In short, they hate their life so much they are trying hard to wish themselves back into infancy as an escape from every single mistake that led to their wretched existence. Their fetish is for diapers, shitting in them, and being changed like an infant. Stay away from these wretched piles of fat and filth as far as you can.

Unlike cub fuckers, they are (thankfully) celibate, as to not pass their faggotry on to any children they could’ve potentially had. This is very ironic as there are legions of cub fuckers who would just love to diddle them. A 30 year old man in a diaper crying like a baby is legal for sexing!
{{clear}}

=== [[Scalies]] & [[featherfag]]s ===
[[Image:Furry_-_General_-_Recognizing_The_Problem.jpg|185px|right]]
[[Image:Furry bird porn.jpg|185px|right]]

Most people just lump them in as "furfags" as, honest, nobody really gives a shit if the kind of animal they are fapping to has fur or not as any sane being realizes these people fap to animals and sees them all as sick fucks,

Scalies like to pretend they are special because instead of drawing and fapping to fox dickgirls, they draw and fap to dragon and lizard dickgirls. Many scalies are even more overweight than usual as "being a dragon" means they get to eat extra fatty red meat. If said dragon is also a dickgirl, chances are you are looking at a furfag who is really an [[otherkin]] hiding among the furfags. Otherkin think they really are dragons and are even more batshit insane than normal. In general, scalies should be avoided as they are even more insane than the average furry. And don't forget [[Snapesnogger]] and her deep loving fondness for snake people.

Featherfags are some of the most inept artists you’ll see when it comes to the anatomy of their smutty “characters.” The shit that makes their dicks twitch are birds that are drawn to have human vagoos, tits, and other things that shouldn’t be on a fucking bird. Putting tits on a bird is about as appealing as putting them on an [[Aliens|Alien]], and yet furshitters have found ways to fap to that as well. They also like to pretend they are super special snowflakes for being an "exotic race" like a blue jay or a parakeet. News flash: nothing a furry can do will make them a special snowflake as they're all "special snowflakes". When everyone is special, nobody is.

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=== Edgy furries ===

[[Image:Anime furry nazis.jpg|185px|right]][[Image:Snuffkitty.jpg|185px|right]]
These are the kind of furries that the other furries kind of look at funny.

[[Christian furry|Christfurs]] are hypocrites. What better to happen to such a hated group of people than to have some of their populous be [[christfag]]s? These holier than thou furries have the worst traits of evangelists and the worst traits of furries combined. They fuck like rabbits, break every law in the bible, then go to church and that makes them better than you. They spend their time jerking off and talking about how you are going to hell for being less holy than them.

Bonus points for the Christfurs who are also actually in the church itself. There's something special about a lion in preacher garb, especially when you see on in real life. Furry priests/preachers pretend they do this either to try to "reach out to wayward furries" or to "amuse the children" but we all know this is bullshit there to cover the fact they used the collection plate money to buy a thousand dollar fursuit that will be used mostly to attract gay men for sex. Thanks for the donation!

[[Closet Furry|ClosetFurs]] are everyone reading this article who doesn't have a fursona yet. Yiff Yiff, my good fellow!

[[Nazi Furs]] combine two of the world’s most hated things put in one festering, shit-encrusted blend! The Nazifurs are a very weird bunch indeed. In essence, they could be terrifying, but in reality they’re just neo Nazis mixed with furfags. And they are hilarious. Gay dogs who are jewish goose stepping and hailing [[Hitler|the Fuherer]]? Welcome to furry country. The true irony lies in the fact that these sick fucks are exactly the type of people that Hitler would have had killed in concentration camps.

[[Necrofurs]] are definitely the most edgy when it comes to other furfaggots. They fap to anything and everything dead and furry, no matter how gruesome, because the more gory, at least for them, the better. For the love of fuck, stay away from them IRL. Only engage in [[Trolling|conversation]] on the interbutts. When any of them takes the killing to the real world you get the making of a serial killer. Most of them started with animal cruelty before moving on to humans you know.
{{clear}}

=== Lifestylers ===
[[Image:Furry_-_Females_-_02.jpg|right|thumb]]

[[Fat furry|Fatfurs]] are the unholy union of the furniggers and chubby-chasers. They’ll yiff/fap to anything that has hair and mountains upon mountains of fat. They usually have some of the most insanely confusing fetishes, ranging from [[Inflation art|inflation]] via air, fluid or (obviously) fat, to even having their fursonas being made of “[[Rubberfur|living rubber]].” Have plenty of eye bleach ready if you are to click on the above link.

Please note that most furries are fat in real life. The Fat Furs are different in that they see this flab as appealing and encourage it among one another. They do not have skinny fursonas and do not want one. Fat = sexy to them.

[[Biofurs]] believe that someday science will shit out a procedure that will make them into real furries. That is how stupid they are. In the time between science creating human-animal splices (lol no. It's illegal in every single country!) they are likely to alter their bodies with conventional means such as piercings, implants, and tattoos. These are the people with wearable dog-cock penis covers and specialized "digitgrade" boots. Their fursuit may be made out of real fur and/or be as realistic as possible. No carttoony stuff here! They'd glue a fursuit on if they could.

They don't realize that every race, animal or not, would be freaked out by them if they succeeded in becoming a real live furry. In short, they have not thought this through. No lifestyler really has. They just daydream and tell themselves "it will all be ok". In short, they're some of the dumbest furries in furrydom.

{{clear}}

===General fetishists===
[[Image:Whatthefuckbooty.jpg|185px|right]][[Image:Stuffed raccoon.gif|right|thumb|Yes, that really is [[Gabe Newell]] fucking a stuffed animal.]]
[[File:Dancers.jpg|thumb|right|[[The Kadaitcha Dancers|Friday night in Furryville]].]]
Sure, furry is a fetish, however, there are many subgroups of fetishes. Chances are every fetish has a furry companion. Name it, slap on ears and a tail, and you'll find porn of it. Here are a few we actually have chronicled on Encyclopedia Dramatica.

[[Pawfur]]s are what you’d expect from the name: furry foot fetishists. Yet they somehow take it to a whole new level. When you can pretend to be three inches tall licking the stinky soles of a giant digimon who stomped grapes all day long you would be taking it to the next level, too. Expect there to major dashes of [[Macrophile]] thrown into the mix as bigger feet are better feet, right guys?

[[Pregfur]]s are pretty much what would happen if actual furries existed and fucked as much as furgags like to make them fuck. This is combined with weirdass ideas like being pregnant many times at once ([[lol wut]]) and fetishizing the idea of giving birth even though giving birth is the most disgusting, dangerous and painful thing any female humanoid can do with her life.

[[Rangerphile]]s are the type of people that are bound to ruin your childhood, if you grew up in the 90’s and still haven’t lost all of your precious memories to faggotry yet. They think that the characters from Chip & Dale’s Rescue Rangers are [[No|worthy of wanting to fuck]]. These are people in their 20’s and 30’s. And they want to fuck cartoon mice and chipmunks. In increasingly disturbing and un-erotic ways. Let that sink in. Watch as it festers in your subconscious and taints your childhood bit by bit like a fungus. Welcome to the real world, people!

[[Plushie|Plushophiles]] (or “plushies”) are furries that get horny over their China-made lumps of fabric and stuffing so much that they literally fuck them. And like it. They post pictures of themselves doing it on the Internet for all to see, not realizing they put themselves at risk of eternal ridicule. Well, then again, all furries do that, so I guess it’s no different. These “people” are most shocking to those who love to collect and take care of plush toys as there is nothing worse you can do for one than to tear a big-[[Asshole|ass hole]] in it and pump it full of semen. Especially since these morons do this to rare and out-of-production stuffed toys that could’ve potentially provided them with jewgold, but instead they fuck them. If you, the faggot reading this, does not see anything wrong with this, please do us all a favor and smother yourself with one of the many raccoon plushies you've violated.

There's also plenty of them into various versions of [[scat]], [[piss|golden showers]], [[roman showers]], and diapers containing all of the above. Yes, people, we are talking about overweight jailhouse gays rolling in their own feces and urine because nobody will use them as a human toilet. Some of them want to be [[vore|eaten]] and some of them are into [[Doug Winger|super-sized giant big dicks and boobs spouting fountains of goo]]. Occasionally they want to be eaten by massive dicks to be turned into goo. You read that sentence correctly: eaten'' by'' dicks. Rational sense, this makes none... but they still want it anyway.

The takeaway: if it's a fetish you can bet your sweet ass it shows up in furry porn somewhere.

== Furry propaganda ==

{{main|Furry art}}

[[Image:Werehyena TG 011 by RMK99.jpg|220px|thumb|Typical "[[Furry art|art]]".]]
[[Image:Furryart.jpg|thumb|220px|[[Jeremy Bernal|Tame by furry standards]], [[Sick|perverted]] by normal standards.]]

Some furries claim they're just in it for the art. Of course, this is exactly what they want you to think: that they're just a bunch of artists. The reality is much worse.

The truth is that this "art" is simply a way for furries to lure their ill-fated victims into a [[trap]], where they will be mind raped until they submit to their new furry [[BDSM|masters]].

Furries often explode into brick-shitting, [[BAWW]]WWWWWing rages as soon as someone points out the obvious: that Furry art is nothing more than a gigantic collection of [[bestiality|half-animals]] with [[sparkledog|trite designs]] that only a furry could [[Poeticirony|love so much]], cobbled together by hormonal sixteen-year-olds who have taken maybe one [[Art school|art class]] and can't even draw a [[cock]]. The few that can draw generally make "[[porn|art]]" like [[The Kadaitcha Dancers]].

The following is a lengthy rant from one furry that perfectly embodies their nature of deception. Typical to most attempts to rationalize being a furry, the rant is full of [[Fucktard|circular logic, hypocrisy, unwarranted self-importance, and just about every logical fallacy you can name]]. The author directly mentions ED and appears to have a dislike of this site from his previous rantings. In case you haven't noticed, the furry community is full of huge egos; this is most likely to compensate for the fact that they only have a life on the Internets.

{{quote|But I genuinely refuse to believe all of furry is the crowd of social lepers we like to think we are.
|Furry on being a social leper.}}
{{quote|hey, not all of us are freaks like those skunk fuckers
|social leper tired of being grouped with furries.}}

== "Girl" furries ==
[[File:KittyOutfit.PNG|thumb|Why there are so few female furries]]

Furrydom is a sausage party. About three quarters of furries in general are male, according to '''{{archive|0AJcr|people who have tried to measure this}}'''. (Conversely, furry artists for whatever reason are about three quarters female.) Some of the "female" furries are in truth just [[trap|guys acting like girls]], or [[fag]]gots [[moot|who wish they were girls]]. Some are lesbians so ugly that not even their own dogs would fuck them. Either way, you really, really do not want to see what is [[Aids|hiding under their skirt]].

Remember:

*[[Rules of the Internet|Rule 30 still applies.]]
*[[Photoshop|Pictures aren't real]]; that is to say that a picture of a female furry doesn't necessarily mean female furries actually exist anywhere other than within another furry's mind.
*It's a [[trap]]!
*It's a [[faggot]]!
*Of the remaining few that are ''actually'' female and ''actually'' furry, they're always [[fat]] and [[ugly]] [[dyke]]s.
*To [[KILL IT WITH FIRE]]!!!!!!!

==== Examples of "girl" furries (probably?) ====
*[[Abigaille]]
*[[Akuryou]]
*[[Alexus Lioness]]
*[[Amberdrake]]
*[[Anailaigh]]
*[[Angelic-Catalyst]]
*[[Anjel]]
*[[Balddumborat]]
*[[Blackfrost]]
*[[BlueshineWolf]]
*[[BwueMutt]]
*[[Chewfox]]
*[[chibixzaide]]
*[[DeoTasDevil]]
*[[Flirty The Fox]]
*[[Flower2563]]
*[[Fluffy teh wolf]]
*[[FoxyFoxChick]]
*[[FurrMetalAlchemist]]
*[[Hatedwerewolf]]
*[[HinaUchi]]
*[[Jesskitt]]
*[[Johaan-N]] aka {{dauser|megs-n|Megs-N}}
*[[Lucky Coyote]]
*[[Paradisefreedom]]
*[[Princesswolfgirl]]
*[[Raniko]]
*[[SapphyDracases]]
*[[SheWolf]]
*[[Talamajic]]
*[[Vixen T. Fox]]
*[[Widdywoodpecker]]
*[[Wolf punk]]
*[[Zeriara]]
 
{{cg|Furry "Females"|furgirlgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:TrufflesforYouIRL.jpg|[[Truth|This is a real furry female]]
File:Fugly furry.jpg|A female prototype. Notice the [[Fat fuck|triple chin]] and the [[Over 9000|uncountable amount]] of fugliness.
File:Uniman2.jpg|Average [[fag|Girl furry]]
File:Chicksor-Yummilee.jpg|'''{{archive|7GOcH|Chicksor}}''' paid to pretend furfag
File:Furriestrue.png|Kind of a funny picture... But a much funnier way of life.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:FURRY MALE.jpg|Genetic disaster.
File:Krystal_bad_cosplay.JPG|[[Man the harpoons]]!
File:Furry19thcentury.jpg|Believe it or not, the situation used to be [[homosexual|worse]].
File:Catgirl_bel.jpg| Camwhore paid to wear furfag gear
File:furrygenderchange.jpg|Furry gender reallocation success.
File:hot_furry_girl.jpg|What? [[divide by zero|Oh shi-]]
File:FURRY PETA AD.jpg|Not really furry, actually [[PETA]]
File:IRL furry.jpg|Hot Japanese girl that a furry photoshopped so he can fap to it.
File:Furry Centerfold.jpg|If you are even mildly turned on by this, you need serious help.
File:hot_furry.jpg|Uncreative shoop
File:20081120054819ponygirl.jpg|Almost there....
File:800px-ShilpaShettyPETA.jpg|Hot Indian Actress marred by her relationship with [[PETA|a fundamentalist organization]]. Well, she needs to do something now that [[Jade Goody]]'s dead!
File:Shaz.jpg|Drop dead [[ugly|sexy]]. Maybe she wishes that hair on her face would turn to fur.
File:Typical furfag.jpg|Forever_alone.jpg
File:Furfaglols.png
File:Keshacat.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT]]!!!!
File:ParadisefreedomIRL2.png | Note the fear in the dog's eyes.
File:BunnyGirl.jpg | No, a [[porn star]] in an Easter Costume does not count.
File:Furry_-_General_-_Imagination_Or_Desperation.png|[[Forever Alone|Desperation]] or [[Imaginary Girlfriend|imagination]]?
Image:Furgrill.jpg
File:Furry_-_Females_-_01.jpg
File:Furry_-_Females_-_03.jpg
File:Furry_-_Females_-_04.jpg
File:Furry_-_Females_-_05.jpg
File:Furry_-_Females_-_06.jpg|Autoplushophilic delights.
File:Furry_-_Females_-_07.jpg|How intimate.
File:Comparison_meme_2.jpg|Angel-tiger-mistress IRL.
File:FURRY FEMALE END STAGE.jpg
File:Nanakoweeafur.jpg|Tumblr Weeaboo + Furry = A sick furfag's wet dream.
</gallery>}}
 
=== Wikipedia drama ===

[[Image:Orestes Pursued by the Furries.jpg|thumb|Even the ancients were tormented by the furries.]]

Since furry existence revolves around [[WikiEdit Drama]], many of [[Wikipedia]]'s admins are furfags, such as: [[ContiE]], {{wpul|Fennec}} (an early ''arbitrator'', for fucksake), {{wpul|Furrykef}}, {{wpul|KieferSkunk}}, {{wpul|Loganberry}} (lol desysopped), {{wpul|Wiki alf}} (lol quit in 2009), {{wpul|Wwwwolf}}, and {{wpul|Xaosflux}} - [[Furluminati|all of whom are the same person]]. There is also Krishva, who insists her childhood was destroyed forevar by furries and has made it her lifelong goal in life to make sure that web sites such as [[Wikipedia]], are as accurate (read: white-washed) as possible. This involved making approximately eleventy gazillion edits to '''{{wikilink|Furry|Wikipedia's "Furry" article}}''' and, when that didn't fulfill her need for alpha-wolf dominance, also the '''{{wikilink|Furry_fandom|"Furry fandom"}}''', '''{{wikilink|Funny_animal|"Funny animal"}}''', and '''{{wikilink|Talking_animal|"Talking animal"}}''' articles. Not to mention {{wpul|GreenReaper}}, a big WP fan and one of the founders of [[WikiFur]].

Why in the world Wikipedia has separate articles for "Furry" and "Furry Fandom" in the first place is one of the many [[Shit nobody cares about|infinitesimally trivial points]] being bickered about by Krishva in the various articles' [[talk page]]s. Why? Because certain furfags want to [[lie|deny that furry has anything to do with sex]]. There is one [[yiff]] pic in existence that doesn't resemble [[:Image:Dancers.jpg|this]] and they put it on their yiff article. Obsessively denying the relation between sex and furfags on Wikipedia is likely the result of furry-style [[castration]].

== Real-life horror ==
[[File:bandicam 2017-11-18 06-41-51-166.jpg|thumb|Furries trying to sell their dildos]]

If they were just pathetic, like [[nerd]]s, they could mostly be passed over without much of a thought, and maybe even pitied. But in addition to being failures at life, their minds are constantly thinking of more perverted things to do, which show up not only in their REAL art (the kind they put in a separate folders and tag with so many warnings you wonder why they put it [[OL]] on the first place), but in the things they do [[IRL]].

 
{{center|
{{frame|{{morphquote|miquotes|background-color: lightgray;|font-weight: bold;
|''"It's perfectly natural [[sick fuck|to fantasize about a half human/half fox with double D tits.]] PERFECTLY NATURAL. I don't get the haters at all. I just don't."''
|Furfag on [[bestiality]]

|''None of us can really help, control, or direct our sexual interests or fetishes; we can, however, control how we choose to act on them. Someone who gets rock hard or dripping wet when dressed up like a fox or a raccoon or Ann Coulter makes a rough sort of sense. But someone who fantasizes about being an animal or hangs out with people who do without the excuse/cover of sexual fetish or compulsion? I'm sorry, but that's just [[sick fuck|sick]].''
|Dan Savage, Faggot and truth-sayer

|''[[Lies|Discrimination on us is and should be a crime. fucking people should not hate other lifestyles and they should not hate the people who are proud to show their lifestyle]] its called freedom of expression if you don't like it get the fuck out of my country you damn nazis.''
|Furfag on free speech and [[Godwin's law]]

| ''"Godwin Law was created by a Nazi or Fascist in order to propagate future persecutionist behaviour, by sweeping real Nazi/Facist history aside under the cloak of 'Godwin Law' that normal people are not permitted to sight example from the past to prevent the same mistakes happening in the present so that a new nationalist regime can rise again in the future]]...That ANYONE is fooled by Godwin law means the persecutors will win."''
|Furfags don't know 'bout Godwin's law

|''"Considering myself human, I consider to mean that I would be a killer who enjoys suffering at the expense of those who can't fight back. I would be a part of the mass extinction of all life on this planet, I would play a part in the sterility of this planet by owning land and pursuing economy by squeezing everything to its last thread of energy at the expense of anything that dare stand in the way of my profits. e.g. When a hyena eats a melon, she's not doing anything wrong, she doesn't understand the (HUMAN) ownership of that plant...nor should she, nor does she deserve to die for being thirsty, for being hungry, she shouldn't be condemned for being a mother with children to feed."''
|{{yt|u|alphahyena|furfag, who believes he's not human}} and thinks hyenas eat melons

|''Mitsurugi Yamauchi said 08/25/10, 1:13 pm (verified)
"Encyclopedia Dramatica is a menace to the internet. It is populated by trolls, racists, fascists, and other hate-mongers. They attack furries for no justified reason, and are a supporter in this incorrect common perception that furries are perverted porn freaks. Plus, it contains viruses and porn without a disclaimer."''
|'''{{archive|JYL7q|Furfag}}''' who hasn't image searched the term 'Furry' and seriously believes ED has no reason to hate on them. Note the [[weeaboo|weeaboo]] name. Half of the furry fandom's shitty fursonas follow this naming pattern.
}}|border=lightgray|background=lightgray}}

{{frame|<youtube>-R6BcdYGzRk</youtube>|border=#1DACD6|background=#1DACD6|margin=auto}}
 
{{cg|IRL Horror|FurGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:I_love_furries.jpg|Furry in fursuit next to [[Andy Schlafly|one without]]. Now you see why they wear fursuits.
File:Furryparenting.jpeg|Parenting at its finest
File:M8hc03.jpg|[[Old media|About the furries.]]
File:Fuckingfurry.JPG
File:Dog_man.jpg|Living the furry dream.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cetafurfag.jpg|It isn't bestiality porn if it's under water!
File:Raccoon-app6.jpg|[https://northfur.ca/ Pay money] and you can look [[creepy|great]]!
File:Dogcockearrings.jpg|[[PoeticIrony|Staying classy]].
File:Dlthorn13_mombed2.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] tries to be a furry by buttfucking his mom's stuffed animals while she's out.
File:Furrylupus snow penis.jpg|The [[retard|guy who made this]] had no clue [[bestiality|why the neighbors called the cops]].
File:FurfailSquirrel.jpg|So [[weeaboo|kawii]]! ^.^
File:Ancient Yiff.jpg|Exports of [[Egypt|ancient Egypt]] included sails, paper, and fursuits.
File:99furcent.jpg
File:LOL_FURSUIT.jpg
File:Publicfurrypicsposted.png
File:Realistic fursuit.jpg|These pictures...
File:Micropenisman.jpg|...are..
File:Micropenis.PNG| ...[<s>http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=zcHuB-C235-</s> very related]. dead link
File:Bunny2.jpg|You gonna get raped!
File:Son.jpg|Furries, if any are reading, please, and this isn't the article speaking, '''don't''' ever tell your parents about this shit. Ever.
File:Leia01.jpg|Interracial furry sex.
File:FSS Main.gif|The truth about furfags.
File:cheapfurry.jpg|Some furries are too poor to afford an animal costume and have to use their pajamas. Apparently they're too poor to afford ears that match either.
File:Creepy Animal Furry.jpg|You weren't planning on sleeping any time soon, were you?
File:Depraved_furry_scum.jpg|This is your brain on lonely.
File:epicfag.jpg|A furfag in its natural habitat. Note the furry legs.
File:Furfag_lol.gif
File:Furriesno.png|[[Lol wut]]?
File:Furry couple.jpg|IRL furries without fursuits.
File:FurrySuck.jpg|Furry in a [[MMORPG]].
File:Fursuitaction.gif|How furfags multiply.
File:Pathetic.jpg|Remember: Being a furry is both harmless '''and''' consensual.
File:Beastpaint-cheetah.jpg|Scene from a furry convention.
File:Wheregodfurry.jpg|Where is your [[God]] now?
File:Furry conversation wolf horse.jpg
File:Tiger pig leather3.jpg|Someone, somewhere fapped to this. Just let that sink in for a moment.
File:Pisspig.jpg
File:Blackwater.jpg|Blackwater is a closet furry organization. Notice the pawprint on their logo.
File:Furriesstupid.png|Average furry pulling an [[Adam Savage]].
File:Sick_dasoslukos.png|A sick fuck from YouTube.
File:Sick_dasoslukos_2.png|The same sick fuck from YouTube.
File:Sickfuck chevelle.jpg|Chevelle: A sick fuck that wants to be raped by furries. It's true.
File:Rape_of_ganymedes.jpg‎|Even [[TMNT|Michelangelo]] drew some furry fanart.
File:Sadfur.jpg|We're not even going to dignify this with an insult...
File:Stupidfurrypimp.jpg|Some furries must take a [[Hooker|side job]].
File:Chatroulette24.jpg|[[Chatroulette]]
File:Chatroulette2.jpg|[[Chatroulette]]
File:Mrs. Pig Rubber Latex Costume.jpg|Let the [[fursecution]] begin!
File:feralporn.jpg|Furries find this [[bestiality|arousing]]. You [[sick fucks]].
File:Furry_-_Home_Schooling_Troubles.jpg
File:Furry orgy.gif
File:Typicalfurry.jpg|Fucking sick fucks.
File:Whatisfurryreally.jpg
File:Furry_-_General_-_Stealing_Wildlife.jpg|Fursuits make it easy to steal rare wildlife to keep as real-life yiff plushies.
File:Hideous_furfag.jpg|Why hello thar!
File:Furry_-_General_-_Save_The_Whales.gif
File:Furry_-_General_-_Pedo_Prey.jpg|The majority of furries are pedophiles who use the form as a means of luring kiddies to molest.
File:Furry_-_General_-_Inflation.jpg
File:FREEWILLYOHSHIT.jpg
File:Confederatefurfag.jpg
File:Nigger in a Tigger fursuit.jpg
File:Drunken_ganymedes_zeus_eagle_orgy.jpg|Romans sculpted their furfaggotry.
File:We%27d_rather_go_naked_than_be_furries.jpg|Even [[PETA]] fags are tired of this BS.
File:Whatthefurry.jpg|This is why we hate furries.
File:Sodomywolf.jpg|[[Sodomy]] time!
File:Furfag with parents.jpg|[[Fugly]] furfag, moments before getting [[I am disappoint|disowned]].
File:Gasthefurfags.png
File:Furfagconcerned.png
File:Howdoicool.jpg|How do I made cat? [http://www.facebook.com/people/Mattt-Unknwn/631680971 yiff!]
</gallery>}}
}}
 
== Hating furries ==

{{main|Fursecution}}

{{quote|He that shall copulate with any beast or cattle, dying let him die, the beast also ye shall kill.|[[bible|God, on hating the furries]].}}

[[Image:Furry hates Harlem Shake.gif|thumb|The first furry to do something that we tolerate. And also the last.]]
[[Image:Furry NO.jpg|right|thumb|220px||Hatred of furries in video games is perfectly normal.]]

It's OK to hate these sick fucks! [[Serious|Seriously]], if all this shit hasn't made you sick by now, you must be [[retarded]].

'''Fun Fact:''' If you spell out "Yiff In Hell Furfags" mnemonically, and pronounce it phonetically, it sounds just like "yiff". Neato.

'''Fun Fact2:''' Some furries [[Johaan-N|are into pet dogs]] and make comics about their purebred pooches [[Johaan-N#Gay_Dog_Sex|fucking each other]] so they can [[fap]] to them. {{deviantart|Johaan-N}} is among the most famous with a cancerous [[yiff|cult]] following.

Having reached pretty much everywhere on the Internet, and spreading around their regurgitation inducing porn avatars, they have made themselves a disseminated, easy to stop, righteously warranted hate targets. An example of this is the following video, made by [[Daedalus The Dopefish|closet scalie]] in an [[fail|amazing attempt]] to redeem himself from his past zoophilia acts.
The following video contains screenshots of real [[Steam|Steam]] profiles. No community is safe.

There has been a comic made dictating the tension between the people whom hate furries and furries themselves '''{{archive|PgOvC}}'''

{{frame|<youtube>PeH1XNiJxFQ</youtube>|border=#1DACD6|background=#1DACD6|margin=auto}}

== What to do if your friend is infected ==

[[Image:Go away furfag.jpg|thumb|He's got the right idea.]]

They'll need help. Not mental help, but the kind of help where you take them to a concealed area and shove both barrels of a 12-gauge into the back of their oblivious fursuit-covered head and pull both triggers without remorse. There are also a few alternative solutions you may attempt:

[[Image:Yiffinhell-Taurin.jpg|220px|thumb|Yiff in hell, furfags!]]

*Never try to fit in with them. In fact, stay away from them altogether. This is very important as something as minor as hardcore penetration can easily cause infection (you may want to find a new friend, preferably someone from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]).
*Call them out in public, ask them about furry in front of non-furries. Bring up [[Babyfurs]] and [[bestiality]].
*Buy some garden shears at your local [[Wal-Mart]], and use them to castrate anything resembling a furry and staple their testicles (if present) to their foreheads; [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|yelling]] [[So i herd u liek mudkip|various obscenties]] is optional. Remember to return the garden shears within 30 days to get your money back.
*If you are his roomate or something similar, leave raw meat in his fursuit.
*If you are brave (or already infected), you can try to forcibly persuade them against their ways.
*Pass a bill which will makes it punishable by death for being a furfag.
*Let a REAL lion loose on his ass and watch his reaction. Make sure to bring a trash bag and a gun.
*Force non furries to watch yiff. Prolonged exposure to anything sexual that doesn't involve fucking humans in every hole has been known to cause human heads to forcibly explode.
*[[Cat in Microwave|Microwave]] them.
*If all else fails, simply go to [[China]] and accumulate several large nuclear stockpiles. Proceed to nuke the shit out of every anthrocon in existence until the world is rid of the furfag populace.
*Give them a nice, relaxing injection of arsenic. Since they technically want to be animals, putting them down IS an option.
*If a syringe is not available, you can always get them to drink a nice refreshing mug of bleach.
*Shoot Em With a Nerf Gun.
*Call em Scum every day till they quit being a furfag and/or kill themselves.

=== Chlorine gas ===

On the [https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/intentional-chemical-leak-at-hyatt-regency/122186/ 7th of December 2014], during a [[Kill yourself|furry convention]] in [[Chicago]] there was a reportedly '''[[IRL troll|deliberate]]''' [[Holocaust|chlorine gas leak]] which injured at least 19 at the time (requiring hospitalization) and the complete evacuation of the hotel where the convention was taking place. Truly, those responsible were doing [[Truth|God's work]]. The perpetrator is [[An hero| A hero]] to us all.

<center>
{{frame|<youtube>Tp76cHN2FDU</youtube>
<center>'''Nobody claimed responsibility for this [[lulz|chemical attack]] yet.'''</center>
|border=#1DACD6|background=#1DACD6}}
</center>

== How to troll a furfag ==

[[Image:FurryFuelEnergyDrink.png|thumb|right|The taste of fail and AIDS, successfully distilled and canned.]]

*Show them bestiality. Every furfag is deeply ashamed about their lust for animal cock that when they see the real thing, their guilt-boner has them going from zero to [[Anonymous|moralfag]] in less than five seconds. Furfags are also notorious for spreading the [[lie|faux]] belief that viewing or sharing bestiality is illegal, and will go to extreme lengths to convince people to follow a law which only exists in New Zealand.

*Mention the Em-Bear-Assed segment from 1000 Ways to Die

*Show them the CSI Episode "Fur and Loathing"

*Grief every [[Second Life]] yiff club they run

*Grief every furry infested [[Space Station 13]] server they run.

*Defeat every claim of theirs that they "aren't for the sex" by slapping them with cold hard evidence that they are

*Reveal to their families about how furry they are and explain to them the horrors of their fandom. Closeted furries hate this because more times than not, they know their lives will get turned upside down once they're exposed to people they don't want knowing.

== Hey kids! ==

Before you decide to tell [[Your Mom|your morally upstanding parents]] that you are letting a [[whore|hot fox]] [[rape|touch your no-no's]], please take a gander at the videos below:

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|VIDEOS|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>eJm2neag9NU</youtube>
;Wanna look this retarded? Then you're a furry!
|<youtube>EJD7GbkG96w</youtube>
;How to Humiliate Yourself 101
|<youtube>uK92NYwBMts</youtube>
;First acknowledgement of this growing furfaggotry in [[England]].
|<youtube>tnCk0uGwFZI</youtube>
;Furry national anthem
|<youtube>ZOUSxl2vvYE</youtube>
;Rap against furfags
|<youtube>uIBU-DaJJOk</youtube>
;In American Dad!
|<youtube>qKKPXoYqvps</youtube>
;7
|<youtube>dxlpIxGSU2k</youtube>
;8}}
|border=#1DACD6|background=#1DACD6}}
|}}

NOTE: Good new's everyone, he's single! Drop by {{yt|thundermdark|his youtube channel}} and leave [[Meatspin|a nice hello]].

Quote from Wikipedia (AKA Shitipedia): In one survey, 33% of furries surveyed online answered that they had a "significant sexual interest in furry" and another 46% stated they had a "minor sexual interest in furry", and the remaining 21% stated they have a "non-sexual interest in furry". That means over 75% of furfags want to have sex with furries. GTFO.

== Sick fucks ==

In addition to caring nothing but just sex, Furries are also known to harbor some of the most disturbing and vile of fetishes. These include:

{| class=wikitable
| '''Scat''' || [[File:Sscat2.png|200px]] [[File:Sickshitfur2.png|200px]] [[File:Sickshitfur3.png|200px]] [[File:Sickbronyshit.png|200px]] '''EVEN BRONIES GOTTA GET IN ON THIS!!'''
|-
| '''Vore''' (Soft/Hardcore) || [[File:Sickfur.png|200px]] [[File:Sickvorefur.jpg|200px]]
|-
| '''Watersports''' || [[File:Sickbath.png|200px]] [[File:Sickwatersportsfur.jpg|200px]]
|-
| '''Hyper''' || [[File:Sickhyperfur.png|200px]] [[File:Sickfurhyper.png|200px]] [[File:Sickhypertitsfur.png|200px]]
|-
| '''Messy Diapers''' || [[File:Sickshitfur.png|200px]] [[File:Messydiaperfursick.png|200px]]
|-
| '''Farting''' || [[File:Sickfartfur.png|200px]]
|}

You'll find your fair share of these plastered right on the front of FurAffinity. It's not a beautiful sight to see by any means, but it helps validate the nature of the Furry Fandom and it's fuckery. Yet this is the same fandom that wants recognition and respect.

'''Word of advice - If anyone you know or see that is a fur and is into the aforementioned fetishes above. Beat them and make them regret being born!'''
==[[Final Solution|Solution]] to this faggotry==
 
{{rainbow|PERSECUTION AND HOLOCAUST!}}
 
==Gallery==
 
<center>
<gallery>
File:Furry test image rev 2.png|thumb|If this picture turns you on in any way, I have some [[Faggot|bad news.]]
File:Furfags.gif
File:Furry Rape.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
 
== Music Video ==
 
{{frame|<youtube>UbQgXeY_zi4</youtube>|border=#1DACD6|background=#1DACD6|margin=auto}}
 
== See also ==

[[File:Absolute fear.jpg|bigpx|thumb|f e a r]]
[[Image:Furries_-_BLAAAARG.gif|thumb|right|BLAAAARG!]]
[[Image:Furries.jpg|200px|thumb|right|For Sparta!]]
[[File:Pepefurfagcurbstomp.jpg|thumb|right|CURB THE FURFAGS RACE WAR NOW ironically Pepe could be a fursona]]

*[[2 gryphon]] - One of the Fandom's supposed "heroes".
*[[Anthropophobia]] - The official scientific diagnosis of furries.
*[[Bestiality]]
*[[BlackBusterCritic]] - [[Internet|INTERNET]] GOD AND SLAYER OF FURFAGS ON DEVIANTART. A TRUE [[Internet|INTERNET]] HERO.
*[[Bronies]] - A fandom of autistic sub-furries that want to fuck My Little Pony characters. For some reason, furries and bronies are at war with each other which is very ironic and laughable.
*[[CamHead]] - A perfect example of a Zoophile, keep your [[dogs]] away from him!
*[[Dragon]]
*[[Dragoneer]] - The fat fuck responsible for Fur Affinity.
*[[e621]] - like Fur Affinity, but you don't need an account to see the NSFW cringe.
*[[Fat Furry]]
*[[Featherfag]]
*''[[Five Nights at Freddy's]]'' - A survival horror game praised by furries.
*[[Furry Beach]] - A furry convention scam.
*[[FurAffinity]]
*[[Furry Art]]
*[[Fursecution]]
*[[Fursona]]
*[[Fursuit]]
*[[Human pups]] - Aka "I can't believe it's not furries".
*[[Inflation Art]]
*[[Jasonafex]] – A particularly popular furry that fits the cumguzzling template of all furries.
*[[My Strange Addiction]] - Home of Lauren Atkins.
*[[Necrofur]]
*[[Otherkin]]
*[[Plushophile]]
*[[Pregfur]]
*[[RainFurrest]]
*[[Scalies]] - Like furfags, only they want to fuck dinosaurs, lizards and [[Spyro the Dragon|dragons]].
*[[Sick Fuck]]
*[[Strategically Placed Hole]]
*[[Furry art#Furry Art and Trolls|Trolling Furries with Hate Art]]
*''[[Undertale]]''
*[[Victim Complex]]
*[[Wapanese]] - Like furfags, but a lot more tamer.
*[[Wolfaboo]]
*[[Womble rape]]
*[[Yiff]]
*[[YourMovieSucksDOTorg]]
*[[Zetaforum]]
*[[Zeta Toy]]
*''[[Zootopia]]''

== External links ==

*'''{{archive|CFleZ|California Triple-Murder Linked to ‘Furry’ Community}}'''
*{{wayback|http://vis.adjectivespecies.com/furrysurvey/explorer/|20150321091954|title=Know thy enemy well so to better vanquish them}}
*'''{{archive|EwJJh|A true source of information on furries}}'''
*[https://www.furry4life.org/ Furry 4 Life] – The new furry sanctuary ever since Facebook began deleting cartoon profiles, as well as ones they innocently assumed to be made for people's pets.
*'''{{archive|vcWzV|An even shittier social networking site}}'''
*'''{{wordpress|furfling|Furry dating site}}'''
*'''{{archive|vrPq|Furry version of Twitter}}'''
*[https://www.furaffinity.net/ FurAffinity] – A DeviantArt clone.
*[https://www.weasyl.com/ Weasyl] – Where all the furs are flocking to as Fagoneer continues to ruin FurAffinity even worse than trolls do.
*'''{{archive|Qjhb4|Scratch that, they're all flocking here instead}}'''.
*'''{{archive|KXXvj|Furry tutorial}}''' – Partly FTL, partly serious.
*'''{{archive|K1q77|Furry forum you can troll}}'''
*[https://www.deviantart.com/topic/anthro Gallery of faggotry]
*'''{{archive|M1jUy|Furfags before the Internet}}''' – Circa 1963
*[https://entervoid.com/ Often shows the psychological implications of furfags]
*'''{{wf|WikiFur_Furry_Central|Furry Wiki}}''' – WIKI VANDALISM? YES PLEASE. Update: They are now so butthurt that they have blocked Tor exit nodes.
*'''{{Wikilink|Furfur|Furfur on Wikipedia}}''' – The God they worship. PROOF OF THEIR EVIL LINEAGE.
*[https://vimeo.com/57911625 A charming student film about the trials of living as a furry in the modern age]
*[https://campferal.org/ Oh shit, they now have a furfag summercamp in Murrika's hat]
*[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ag-more-perpetrators-victims-possible-in-furry-child-predator-sex-ring/ Furry child predators] are now an ordinary occurrence in todays society
*[https://www.u18chan.com/ a nazi furfag imageboard]
 
{{Psychology}}
{{Cancer}}
{{Retarded Edit Wars}}
{{Dying alone}}
{{furfaggotry}}
{{trolls}}
 
{{Timeline|Featured article January 10, [[2005]]|[[Childfree]]|Furry|[[Amalea]]}}

[[Category:Furries| ]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:You]]
[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:Lolcows]]
[[Category:How Not To Live]]

{{timeline|Article of the Now April 19 [[2023]]|[[Jew Hat]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Adolf Hitler]]}}

Halloween

2024-10-30T20:06:48Z

Juiger: added some links

[[File:Halloweencandytoday.jpg|center]] 

[[File:Razor apple day.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Kids being kids]]
'''Halloween''' or '''CHILD PURGE DAY''' is that special time of year we run over children at twice the rate of any other day of the year. This is largely done as a means of population control dressed up as a fun filled, candy scarfing, spooky festival of giggles and laughter... at least up until the point at which your child winds up permanently plastered across the pavement like a bright red jelly stain. Every day for the rest of your life, whenever you get behind the wheel of a car and look at the road... you'll see their squashed little faces, heads popped open like a grape, their brains smeared all over the roadway. You can take comfort, though, in your ritual sacrifice to Satan himself, knowing your dead children will help bring forth a bountiful harvest and keep demons from Dahmering your goats or... some crazy-assed pagan shit.

Don't worry about taking any responsibility for your dead children either, because the [[media]], the [[police]], hell even the [[government]] has got you covered! Throughout the whole month of October they'll constantly cram into your vacuous little head every [[insane|irrational]], [[shit|nonsensical]], completely improbable, statistically irrelevant danger and urban legend they can think of to completely distract you from the fact that having your spergbrood ground into the asphalt is the leading cause of death amongst the ankle biter population.

From razors and glass embedded into candy, to poisoned treats, to horrifically dangerous marijuana edibles that will do... absolutely nothing actually; but apparently law enforcement agencies across the country feel inclined to waste millions of dollars in tax payer money trying to warn you of the completely nonexistent danger of getting high on a totally non-addictive substance that's utterly impossible to overdose on.

For anyone not under the age of 16, Halloween is a time to revel in extensive debauchery. It is highly encouraged you get absolutely [[alcohol|shitfaced]], wear next to nothing, and [[vomit]] on hot sluts before attempting to drive home drunk, [[Forever Alone|alone and empty inside]]. With any luck you'll inadvertently go crotch biscuit bowling with your car and purge at least six or eight of the snot faced little hellspawns.

==Children==
[[File:Safer halloween.png|thumb|300px|Due to recent events, [[bullshit| children should be safer this Halloween.]]]]

Halloween is one of the favorite holidays for most [[children]] - combining the candy from [[Easter]] with the undeserved presents from [[Christmas]]. Responsible adults should always be safe on Halloween while making sure the children have fun:
*Wait until nightfall
*Dress them up so nobody will recognize them
*Force them to walk around in a sea of children no one is supervising
*Travel to a stranger's house
*Allow the children to ask them for candy
*Threaten to vandalize their homes if they don't
*The creepier the house and its occupants look - the better
*Amp them up with sugar
*Devil's night, watch 'em empty houses go ablaze.

== Costumes ==
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery class="middle"; heights="200px" widths="200px">

File:Kids-halloween-costumes.jpg|This is the sort of half-assed shit you see nowadays.

File:Traditional halloween costumes.jpg|That's more like it. Still not right though

File:A traditional halloween.jpg|Full marks

</gallery>|border=black|background=orange}}
</center>
 

It is common for [[Loli|children in the]] [[Shota|6-10-year-old demographic]] to dress up for Halloween, usually as ghosts, demons, witches, ghouls, vampires and other similar things. However, costumes which have literally fuck-all to do with Halloween such as pirates and fairies are unfortunately common. This is one of the easier ways to spot a [[concerned mother]].

[[Weaboo|Weaboos]] and other types of [[otakukin|virgins]] like to take advantage of the holiday to dress up as their favorite game or [[animu]] star which helps them to cope with their own unfulfilled desires of being unable get their parents to drive them to conventions so they can roleplay with other game and animu fags. One of the few times no one complains about furries is on Halloween.

===[[Furries]] & [[otherkin]]===

[[File:Halloween furry.jpg|thumb|right|300px|One of the few times no one complains about furries is on Halloween]]

Traditionally, Halloween is the time of year when evil spirits and monsters rise up from damnation to walk among the living - such is the case with furries and otherkin. Because Halloween is the one time of year [[NORP|normal people]] dress up as [[werewolves]], demons and [[vampires]] it is easy for the usual sick fucks to rise up from their [[Basement-dweller|underground lair]] to pretend they are normal. [[Adult babies]] have also been known to turn up at this time of year. Although they may look the same as others, they will still act their same faggy way, so pay close attention.

Most worryingly, [[alcohol]] is often served at Halloween parties and stolen by [[stoned]] [[teenagers]]. If [[you]] become intoxicated at this dangerous time of year, it is easy to become an unwitting victim in a [[yiff]] pile.

===Women most notably the college girl===

[[File:Slutty girl costumes.png| thumb|right|300px]]

If you have a decent body, the whole goal is for you to find the smallest, tightest, sluttiest costume you can fit into that can be removed and put back on you easily, if you're lucky you won't need to know why or remember it. While at the Halloween party remember to do your damnedest to look like a whore, act like a whore, drink like a whore and pass out between 60 to 90 minutes into the party after six or seven drinks because this is the first time you've been to a party and ever drank alcohol in your life. Go on. YOLO, bitch. BTW, remember to stick to sweet drinks, that way you won't taste the saltiness of the GHB. These are your college years, go out, have fun and remember the Frat Boy code: it's easier for her to bury the truth when she has no memory of it.

Hopefully you're good and drunk so that you won't wake up when you get dragged to the basement, or an out of sight room, making this a night to remember for some nerd and all his friends on Twitter when he entertains them with a live feed. For the next four years everyone will know about that heart-shaped mole you have just above your cooze.

'''PROTIP: stock up on the morning-after pill''' and revel in your new found infamy. You're a certified slut now! When you graduate with your degree in English Literature, you can use this experience to explain why you are a lesbian in End-Rhyme poetry that tells how the rug burns on your back (from being dragged) hurt more than your vagina the day after losing your virginity.
Go ahead, cut his balls off metaphorically. Revel in knowing that he might read this when you suggest that you were secretly awake as you let the ink fly informing the literary world, all three of your family members, that he failed himself as a man and you as a woman. Before you end, don't forget the call to your Lesbian sisters to castrate their sons and brothers to finally cure this male insanity.

Look at that. Just like a Harold Robbins novel. One Halloween spent as a slut and your whole life is mapped out for you.

 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery class="middle"; heights="150px" widths="150px">
File:1halloweenwo111.jpg|The average college girl Halloween costume
File:6costume222.jpg|[[Batman|Harley Quinn]] is popular this year with college girls
File:1costume333.jpg|If you're slutty enough and willing to wear it, they make it
File:1571072474-costume-sexy-ami-2019-harryskirtgrey.jpg
File:Slutty-Halloween-Costumes-Witch.jpg
File:Slutty nuns.jpg
File:Slutty-Halloween-Black-Cat-Costume.jpg
File:MaRIn69.jpg
File:Slutty turtles.jpg
File:Slutty sailor moon.jpg
File:Even sluttier sailor moon.jpg
File:Slutty-teen-girl-halloween-costume-idea.jpg
File:Slutty supergirl.jpg
File:Slut playing batman.jpg
File:Slutty robin.jpg
</gallery>|border=black|background=orange}}
</center>
 

==The ED Do It Yourself Costume Guide==

[[File:Freddy Kruger party.jpg|right|250px]]

**'''The David Carradine''': You will need a plastic bag, duck tape and Vaseline.
Take the plastic bag and put it over your head. Using the duck tape, make a tight seal around your neck, and using the Vaseline, quickly start playing with your dick until you pass out and die.

**'''The [[Aaron Bushnell|Human Torch]]''': You will need oily rags and a lighter

Take the oily rags and pin them to your clothes. Use lighter to set self on fire. If you're black, start running down the street and this instantly becomes the Richard Pryor. If you're black and playing Richard Pryor, lucky you because your goal is to get Life Flighted to a burn unit. If you're white or playing the Human Torch, you must run into a highly combustible building like a paper factory and cause it to burn down.

**'''The [[Nigger|Inner City Black Man]]''': You will only need shoe polish

Paint your skin black using the shoe polish. Go outside and scream "fuck you, pig" at a cop. Get shot.

**'''The [[White Devils|Suburban White Man]]''': You will need movie quality Caucasian face paint, makeup and a wig.

As a black man take Caucasian paints and make up to paint yourself to look white, don't forget your wig. Watch your credit score jump to 700. Even better, walk into a bank carrying a brief case an go crazy with how many loans you are offered.

**'''The Timothy Leary''': You will need a 1/4 kilo of weed. A 1960s Beatles-style jacket with a Chinese collar. Vintage jeans.

Dress yourself up in the classic clothes. Smoke dope until you're good and stoned then file a lawsuit against the U.S. Government to legalize drugs.

**'''The [[SJW]]:'''
Get a job at Marvel Comics. Bring diversity to comics. When their sales shitcan, blame the readers for being closed-minded idiots.

**'''The [[Homosexuality|Male Porn Actor]]''': You will need a bag of nuts and glue

Break up all the nuts you can and then glue these busted nuts to your face and back. Voila, you just finished filming a gay porn. Really commit to your costume by only wearing a hammock. You're allowed to stuff it, it is Halloween.

**'''The [[An Hero]]''': You will need a gun or another suitable weapon.

Wait for the middle hours of candy begging when the most kids are out. Go batshit crazy and start killing kids. Try to get the [[high score]]. Just before the police close in on you, kill yourself. If you're really planning on this costume, how about you forget about the kids, pin a note to your chest that says, "I'm an Halloween an hero," and kill yourself while sitting in a lawn chair, on your porch, with a bowl of candy in your lap.

===Race costume gallery===
 {{cg|lol, minorities|Race Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Indian_costume_is_not_okay.jpg
File:Hispanic costume is not okay.jpg
File:Black costume is not okay.jpg
File:Asian costume is not okay.jpg ‎
File:Arab costume is not ok.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Fuckin' Racist Costumes How Do They Work.jpg
File:Navi Costume.png
File:Dalek Culture Costume.png
File:Ancient Egyptian Culture Costume.jpg
File:Were-a-culture-not-a-costume-viking.jpg
File:Culture costume kike.jpg
File:Lobster Costume.png
File:We're a culture not a costume white people.jpg
File:Wizardchan_mascot.png
File:BelaLugosidraculaculturenotcostume.png|"UNDEAD UNDEAD UNDEAD"
</gallery>|border=black|color=orange}} 

== [[Movies]] ==
Another Halloween tradition is the viewing of [[horror]] films. The horror genre is perfect for this holiday, for it tends to usually revolve around the same subject matter, as well as being just as tasteless. Christian [[wimmin|pussies]] tend to shy away from such films, and have even gone as far as to say that they'll become [[Lol Wut?|demonically possessed if they watch them]].

==Poisoned candy==
[[File:Razorblade In Candy.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Not all candy is poisoned. Some of it is just full of hidden razorblades.]]
[[File:Cocaine.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Ever wonder why pixie sticks are so addictive?]]

Aside from pretending to be a witch or vampire (which is only acceptable for kids under 14) the main treat on Halloween is candy, even after being told for the rest of the year [[pedophile|it's wrong to take sweets from strangers]].

[[Some argue]] stories of poisoned candy are just [[bullshit|urban legends]] to make Halloween seem more scary. This is a lie. During the 1970s many children died from eating home-made sweets laced with drugs or poison - including 5-year-old Kevin Tostan who ate candy containing heroin. Luckily [[concerned mother|vigilant parents]] are able to spot these dangerous sweets as they all bear a distinctive blue star. If [[you]] receive an e-mail about such sweets pass them on as quickly as possible.

===Timothy O'Bryan===
'''{{wikilink|Ronald_Clark_O%27Bryan|In 1974 8-year-old Timothy O'Bryan died after eating a cyanide-laced Pixy Stix given to him on Halloween}}'''. His father claimed he received the treat from a house in Texas - but when police investigated the house, it turned out to be abandoned. It also turned out the boy's father had taken out approximately $60,000 worth of life insurance policies on his son. Timothy's father was executed on March 31, 1984. The murder earned Timothy's dad the nickname 'The Man Who Killed Halloween.'

==Religions==
[[File:Pagan_Halloween_3.PNG|150px|thumb|right|Damn those [[Christians]] for screwing with our religion.]]
===[[Pagan|Pagans]]===
 <center>{{morphquote|halloween1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|Halloween. That was the eve of Samhain ... firstborn children were sacrificed ... Samhain eve was a night of dread and danger.|''National Geographic'' (1977)

|Therefore we cannot too highly appreciate our debt to the Romans for having put an end to this monstrous cult, whereby to murder a man was an act of the greatest devoutness, and to eat his flesh most beneficial.|Pliny ''Natural History''.

|Since they are man-eaters as well as heavy eaters, and since, further, they count it an honorable thing, when their fathers die, to devour them, and openly to have intercourse, not only with the other women, but also with their mothers and sisters.|Strabo ''Geography''.

}}</center> 
[[At least 100|A few hundred years ago]] pagans would celebrate the end of summer by honoring the dead - mainly by adding a few more dead people. Human sacrifice was the main event of Halloween. [[You]] will notice the above quotes come not from fundamentalist Jesus freaks but from magazines and books dedicated to science and history. Modern pagans will tell you this is a lie - but would you rather believe reputable journalists and historians or a [[16 year old girls|16-year-old]] [[Wiccan]] who believes [[DivineAngel|she can cast hexes]]?
 
 
----
===[[Christians]]===
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery class="middle"; heights="200px" widths="200px">

File:Christian_halloween_1.PNG|Typical Christian who has his head way too far up his ass.

File:Christian_halloween_2.PNG|A traditional Halloween recipe.

File:Satan.jpg|Happy birthday, Lucifer!

</gallery>|border=black|background=orange}}
</center>
 
{{frame|<youtube>HKDAxLuhvuk</youtube>|margin=auto}}
 <center>{{morphquote|halloween2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|I think we ought to close Halloween down. Do you want your children to dress up as witches? The Druids used to dress up like this when they were doing human sacrifice ... The children are acting out Satanic rituals and participating in it, and don't even realize it.|Pat Robertson The 700 Club

|The Bible says they were to stone the person for enticing - not because they had been worshiping. That is strict! So what should our response be to those who want us to go trick or treating with them or to celebrate any holiday that has a basis in paganism? We are not to do so.|'''{{archive|YygN2|BTW astrology and Christmas trees are evil too.}}'''

|Instead of celebrating, what's a Christian to do on Satan's feast day? PRAY! Intercession and spiritual warfare should be the first item on our agenda. It is NOT a last resort!|[https://christiananswers.net/q-eden/halloween.html Pray for the occultists].

|It's Halloween. To most people it seems like harmless fun. But, beneath Halloween's candy coating is a history of diabolical evil, evil that is directly connected to the occult and Satanism, evil that you need to be warned of!|[http://logosresourcepages.org/Holidays/halloween.htm#THE%20HARM%20OF%20HALLOWEEN Like eating too much candy.]

}}</center> 
===Those crazy Bible-thumpers===

Some Christians do not celebrate Halloween as they despise anything which resembles fun. Because they are not allowed to dress up and eat candy, Christians celebrate Halloween by [https://www.rawstory.com/2009/10/n-c-church-to-burn-satans-books-including-works-of-mother-theresa/ burning evil books], including books written by the Pope and Mother Teresa and Bibles (except the King James version).

[[Some argue]] November the 1st - ''All Saint's Day'' - has been combined with Halloween to remember the souls of the dead, especially dead martyred Christians, so there is nothing immoral about celebrating Halloween. Despite this, the day is pretty much ignored since it's mostly a boring version of [[Mexico|Day of the Dead]] (which is itself a boring as fuck version of Halloween).
----

===[[Satanists]]===
[[File:Halloween b1.png|thumb|200px|left|Get your own fucking holiday.]]
[[File:Satanist halloween 1.PNG|thumb|200px|right|A [[satanist]] admires his [[Saddam Hussein|dark lord and master]].]]
[[File:Amanda Knox.jpg|thumb|200px|left|[[Amanda Knox]] a.k.a. '''Foxy Knoxy'''. And yes, she's over 18.]]
[[File:Fucking ugly werewolf constume.jpg|thumb|200px|right|All the better to eat you out my dear ...]]
 {{quote|Two major holidays, HALLOWEEN and Walpurgisnacht are celebrated by the Church of Satan.|Anton LaVey, Founder of the church of Satan.}} 
Satanists celebrate Halloween not because they are pagans, but because they hate [[Christfags]]. [[Divide by zero|Although not all Satanists are pagans, all pagans are Satanists]]. While pagans pretend to be ashamed of their brutal and bloody past, Satanists relish it and frequently commit gruesome murders in the name of [[Ebola-chan|Lucifer]].

Anton LaVey also died on Halloween. [[Coincidence]]?

Yes - he actually died on October 29th but the date was changed on his death certificate to make him look more [[Poser|hardcore]].

But [[Hitler]] really did die on Walpurgisnacht. Coincidence? Not likely, since it was a suicide. The [[Nazi mysticism|rest of it]] is bullshit.

===SPECIAL MENTION===
====Amanda Knox====
In Italy, Meredith Kercher was murdered by Amanda Knox on November 1st 2007, proving once again Satanists often get the date wrong. Meredith was killed because she refused to take part in [[threesome|sex games]] with Amanda and her boyfriend - despite the fact Amanda is clearly very fuckable.

'''{{archive|tZw3J|Amanda later confessed to the murder in front of a jury}}''' completely surprised that stabbing someone to death could be so messy.
 <center>{{morphquote|halloween3|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|I heard that she had her throat slit and from what I saw in CSI these things are not quick or pleasant so I said, gosh . . . bleargh . . . this brutality, this death . . . bleargh . . . it really did shock me.|TV lied to me!

|I couldn’t be prouder of my daughter. It went very well. We all had a chance to see who Amanda really is.|Amanda's father Curt Knox. '''{{archive|tZw3J|No really}}'''.

|Uh they aren't Satanists. They're just devil worshipers. There is a difference.|Carolyn posting on the [[Daily Mail]] article.
}}</center> 
==Video==
 {{frame|<youtube>AxjXxz9GZFQ</youtube>|margin=auto}} 
==Gallery==
 {{cg|The horror show|HalloweenGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Large pizza.jpg|Halfassed or genius?
File:Wienerandballsman.jpg|It comes in kid's sizes too.
File:1224812556611.jpg| HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
File:Trick or treating and they dont leave out Candy.jpg
File:Genericamericanboy.jpg|Liberal Halloween ideas
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Michael Jackson Thriller.jpg|Nowadays, [[Michael Jackson]] will look even more authentic.
File:Condom costume.jpg
File:Jack o rantern azn pumpkin.jpg|Even pumpkins get costumes!
File:Black penis costume.jpg
File:Ronghauntedhouse.jpg
File:Balloon boy costume.jpg|[[Balloon boy]] is all the rage this year.
File:Zombie Obama Mask.jpg|How to frighten [[Liberals]] and [[conservatives]] at the same time.
File:Joker costume.jpg|[[Old meme]]
File:Scream Mask.jpg|French kiss?
File:Jason jacks off on halloween.jpg|Some people go out partying this week. [[You]] will be at home alone [[fapping]] (nothing unusual).
File:VampireFleshlight.jpg|And to help you ...
File:Frankenpenis.jpg|With extra nuts.
File:Costumed Pedo Snatches Babby.jpg|[[Child abduction]] has never been easier than on Halloween!
File:Halloween-porn-5.jpg
File:Halloween-porn-4.jpg
File:Halloween-porn-3.jpg
File:Halloween-porn-2.jpg
File:Halloween-porn-1.jpg
File:VTechHalloweenCostume.jpg|[[VTech]] Halloween Costume.
File:LittleManInABoat Costume.jpg|[[Clitoris|Little man in a boat]] costume.
File:What do we say.jpg|A Halloween manners lesson
File:Totally Baked Potato.jpg
File:Pumpkin's life.jpg
file:suicidal bomber kid halloween costume.jpeg|For Allah
file:black batman halloween costume.jpeg|Dunna dunna Blackman
File:Halloween comics what witches prefer.jpeg
File:8-Offended-Creature-From-the-Black-Lagoon.png
</gallery>|border=black|color=orange}}
 
{{cg|Worst Halloween costumes|costumesGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:smurfs bad costume.jpg
File:optimus prime dumb costume.jpg
File:halloween toilet costume.jpeg
File:ninja turtles costumes.jpg
File:retarded spiderman costume.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Chase no face mask by bellemaske.jpg|Nothing [[Chase 'No Face'|compared to the original]].
File:lame spiderman costume.jpg
File:ninja turtles costumes.jpg
File:ceiling cat fail costume.jpg
File:Halloweendidwtc.jpg
File:wolverine lolwut costume.jpg
File:trojan costume.jpg
File:Pepsi niglet costume.jpg
file:zipper face girl halloween costume.jpeg|Candy or gtfo
File:Toilet costume.gif|Trick or treat : )
File:Dicksuck costume.jpg
File:Jesuschristhowhorrifyingbazinga.png|[[TBBT|Bazinga!]]
File:Wtf japan costume.jpeg
File:Pikachu costume.jpg
File:Sockman costume.jpg
File:Halloween with brian peppers.jpg
</gallery>|border=black|color=orange}}
 
{{cg|Hallo-memes|dankspookymemes|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Very Dangerous Halloween Costumes artwork drawing meme.JPG
File:That Face You Make When It's Almost Halloween Munsters Meme.jpg
File:Christmasbutnohalloween.jpg
File:When the clock strikes 12 Halloween will end and Christmas Carols meme.jpg
File:Wears Ghost Costume To Party And Gets Rekt Meme.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Sexy Witch costume vs Slutty Witch costume comic meme.jpg
File:61-when-people-put-Christmas-decorations-up-before-halloween-funny-meme.jpg
File:Vidya On Halloween.jpg|/v/ on Halloween.
File:Wednesday Addams Bring On Halloween.jpg
File:Halloween costumes in the current year 2017.png
File:PhilosoraptorLadyGagaHalloween.jpg|Ah yes, the [[Lady Gaga]] Question...
File:Five Days Till Halloween - skeleton meme.jpg
File:Get In We're Going Halloween Shopping.jpeg
File:HalloweenClearanceSales.jpg
File:Justsittingaroundwaitingforhalloween.jpg
File:Witch Slap - Robin Slapping Batman comicbook panel parody.jpg
File:How excited for Spooktober are you meme lego brick skeleton.jpg
File:Funny-Halloween-Meme-3.jpg
File:209879-When-Your-Neighbors-Call-The-Cops-Your-Halloween-Decorations-Rock.jpg
File:So sad halloween is over The Munsters.jpg
</gallery>|border=black|color=orange}}
 
== See also ==
[[File:Jimmy savile pumpkin lantern halloween.jpg|250px|thumb|right|300px|No good can come of [[Jimmy Savile|someone born on Halloween...]]]]
*[[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto/Fanfiction/31 Tricks, 31 Treats|31 Tricks, 31 Treats]] - a [[DO NOT WANT|terrifying]] series of Halloween tales from [[A-Log|a master of the disturbing fiction]].
*[[Cosplay]]
*[[Creepypasta]]
*[[Cultural Appropriation]]
*[[Dance In The Vampire Bund]]
*[[User:Andrés/special/2012halloween/alt|ED's Halloween theme]]
*[[Goth]]
*[[Halloween (franchise)|''Halloween'' franchise]]: A movie franchise with the same name
*[[Hauntings]]
*[[Krampus]]
*[[Monsters By State]]
*[[Necrophilia]]
*[[Olchai]]
*[[Skeleton]]
*[[Spirit Halloween]]
*[[Witch]]
*[[Yamanote Halloween Train]]
*[[Zombie]]

==External links==
*[https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_positions/halloween-sex-positions.html Sex positions for Halloween]
*[https://www.theonion.com/in-the-know-has-halloween-become-overcommercialized-1819594749 Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?]
 
{{religion}}
 
{{Timeline|Featured article October 31, [[2009]]|[[Ty Cobb]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[TrollsOfTerror]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article October 31, [[2012]]|[[OldDirtyBtard]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[SANDYLOOTCREW|#SANDYLOOTCREW]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] October 30 and 31, [[2014]]|[[NeoGAF]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Gawker Media]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] October 31 and November 1, [[2017]]|[[Goth]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Sayfullo Saipov]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] October 31 and November 1, [[2018]]|[[Misfits]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Bourg Productions]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] October 30 and 31, [[2021]]|[[Pumpkin Carving]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[No Nut November]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] October 30 and 31, [[2022]]|[[Pumpkin Carving]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Luka Magnotta]]}}
{{timeline|Featured Article for October 29 through November 1, [[2023]]|[[Pumpkin Carving]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Beatles]]}}
{{corner|tr|[[File:FlappingBat.gif|100px|alt=Happy Halloween]]}}
{{corner|bl|[[File:DancingSkeleton.gif|120px|alt=Break a leg]]}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] October 30 and 31, [[2024]]|[[Spirit Halloween]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Foodistzen]]}}

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Satanism]]