Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

File:Australia's New Flag.jpg

2026-04-27T10:16:16Z

JoeyPknowsalotaboutthat:

Soviet Canuckistan

2025-09-07T04:00:37Z

JoeyPknowsalotaboutthat:

{{achtung|[[India|POOPING]] ON THE BEACH [https://www.rebelnews.com/defecation_on_wasaga_beach_prompts_progressives_to_label_critics_racist IS ACCEPTABLE NOW APPARENTLY]}}
[[Image:CanadasPopulationMap.gif|frame|center|Canæda's population, [[srsly]].]]
[[Image:Ed2notshit.png|thumb|left|150px|The Canædian flag.]]
[[Image:Anonflagofcanada2 copy.jpg|thumb|left|150px| The Union Flag.]]
[[Image:Loonie.jpg|thumb|The Canædian dollar, [[you're a bird|known as a ''loonie'']].]]
[[Image:Typical_candian_couple.jpg|thumb|right|150px|| <strike>This is what an average Canædian couple looks like</strike> look below]]
[[Image:Indianpeople.jpg|thumb|right|150px|| Immigrants love Canædia. They're the actual common couple]]
[[File:fuckingsnowcan.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Typical Canadian Roads]]
 
'''Canæda''' (also known as '''America's [[Nigra|Fro]]''', '''Diet America''', '''America Junior''', or '''America's Retarded Cousin''') is a [[Frozen|frozen]] wasteland where all the population crowd the southern border because they want [[shit nobody cares about|nothing to do with the rest of it]] (see above). Canadians like to brag that they are the world’s largest nature preserve for resources, which are stripped bare and shipped straight to the US. Too bad it's the only thing it's good for. Because of severe brain trauma resulting from junior hockey and the near complete lack of culture in Canæda more than the as an eternal British colony, it's population is known to have an average IQ just slightly above that of South Carolina and a miserable requirement level in all areas of life.

Ironically however, Canædians haven't yet realized that nobody cares their British allies slightly stained the White House one million years ago. Every year, the tale of the "Great 1812 patriotic war against the imperialist Americans" is told and retold to small children until they cry. A small band of fat reenactors then "defend" sacred Canædian land until the first case of Angina sets in.

Canædia is exactly like the United States except without all of the entertainment, technology, culture, tolerable climates, guaranteed civil rights and because it was created by British, not Canadians (like [[Hong Kong]]), which makes it, understandably so, an extremely boring country to live in. However, notable differences are that Canædia is always big and juicy, it has a different currency and it even had it's own [[Quebec|Frenchfags]]. Many [[Luser|LJ user]]s are from Canædia. It is hated by the [[God hates fags|Westboro Baptist Church]] due to its high population of [[homosexuals]]. Of course, the average person doesn't know Canædia exists.

Canædians think their beer is better than American beer, simply because of the fact that it has more alcohol in it. What they don't realize is that [[SNCA|the alcohol content difference between Labatt and Molson is about 1%; however, since typical American beer is 4% alcohol by volume, and the typical Canædians beer is 5% by volume, this means that Canadian beer has 25% more alcohol by volume than American beer]]. Because of the shithole wasteland Canædia is, it's important Canædian beer be more potent. The constant drunken state the average Canadian stays in, ensures they never realize the [[truth]] about their barren sheet of ice resulting in a minimal amount of Canadians immigrating and infecting their [[Americans|superiors]] to the South. The slight difference in average IQs between the two country's populations are more than negated by Canadia's [[socialist|socialist]] education system which has ensured that most Canadians can do simple math. Canadians are especially good at doing simple math in order to calculate how much alcohol they are ingesting or how much tax they will pay. Using the [[math|metric system]] facilitates their ability to do basic math, so Canædians can also figure out whether or not they are driving over the speed limit (because the [[AIDS]] that has infected most of them via [[buttsecks]], has damaged their sense of sight enough that they can no longer read speedometers).

==Canædian People==

Canædia is composed of fags, creeps and hipsters which bitch about their cuck of a prime minister but secretly enjoy that universal healthcare but don't want Americans to have them since they hate Americans so they sent in three spies to destroy our way of life and help that Zionist Jew Ben Shapiro conquer the United States for the Jews.

[[File:Three Leafs.jpg|500px|center|thumb|These three bastards deserve to a bullet to the head]]

==Government==
[[Image:RhinoParty.jpg|thumb|left|Rulers of Canædia]]
[[Image:rexMurphy.jpg|thumb|left|Rex Murphy: A God Among Canædians]]
[[Image:Queen nude stamp.jpg|thumb|Elizabeth II, by Grace of [[God]], [[Queen]] of the [[UK]] and <s>her British North Amærica</s> Canædia]]
[[Image:1277583750586.jpg|thumb|Canædia, where hockey is [[serious business]]]]
Until [[Conservatism|GOP fanboy]] leader [[Sock_puppet|Stephen Harper]] came to power after performing a successful mind meld/Blowjob on Rick Mercer, Canædia was officially governed by the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party_of_Canada#Policies_and_politics Rhinoceros Party of Canædia].

Long known for its population's weakness and propensity for [[cutting]], Canædia has instituted a [[Communist]] healthcare system. Canædians make $13.62 a year after paying taxes and welfare to raghead-immigrant terrorists, and then are tarded enough to think their healthcare is “free.” This means that while no one has to directly pay for medical treatment, Canædians have a tax rate of [[at_least_100|109%]]. However they do spend less per capita on health-care than the [[America|Dumbfuckingstan]], but that's because Canædian health-care is [[cuban|substandard]] at best. There are plentiful and free abortions, resulting in both low crime rates and decreased niggerdom, proving there ''is'' an [[welfare|upside to being poor]]. So if you're into [[Goatse]] and your anus rips you can get stitched back together for free. That is if your dentures don't fall through your ass first while waiting for your sub-standard treatment. Plus the free medium-grade drugs aren't that bad either. The USA is nice enough to extend a hand in friendship by giving Canædia its Crack and keeping the good stuff for Ru-Paul.

In addition, it is the decree of Canædia's
[http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/english/media/minister/index.html Archbishop of Health Care] that all Canædians must hoard flu shots for use as salad dressing and personal lubricant.

Canædia has the highest population of [[homosexuals]] of any country in the world. Using terrorist threats (specifically, [[Susan Boyle|Celine Dion]]), Gaynadians forced the Queen to legalize gay marriage, effectively ending Canædian society and instituting mass anarchy. While no one has yet been killed, there have been several "ambush makeovers". When gay marriage was legalized, many of the [[homosexuals]] decided to celebrate by building a large, penis shaped building in downtown Toronto. However, the [[Arabs]] later outdid the Gaynadan construction workers, by building an even bigger tower in Dubai; just going to show that they're trying to compensate for something that they desperately lack.

{{quote|The tragedy of Canædia is that they had the [[Profit!|perfect opportunity]] to enjoy [[Cunnilingus|French cuisine]], [[Capitalism|British culture]] and [[Windows|American technology]], and instead they ended up with [[shitting dick nipples|British cuisine]], [[San Francisco|American culture]] and [[Shit nobody cares about|French technology]].|Anonymous}}

{{quote|Just because 10% of the population of Canædia is [[French]], doesn't mean that I'm going to learn the language. Ten percent of the population is [[gay]] also, but I'm not going to learn how to suck a [[cock]].|Stephen Harper, Prime Fuckin' Minister of Canædia (When asked why he doesn't speak French)}}

==Geography and Economy==
[[File:Canadian Internet Plans.png|thumb|right|Average Canadian ISP]]
Canædia is the second-largest country on [[Earth]] in terms of land-area. That is, if you consider frozen water to be land. But since only about .01 percent of that land-area is not a permanently frozen shithole, this honor really doesn't amount to much. Plus, this benefit of a large landmass means little for defensive purposes. However, uneasy and intimidated Canædians sometimes spout out, "Our country is bigger than the US!" believing that this somehow means they are more powerful. Other Canædians just say this in attempt to salvage their pathetic Canædian [[dignity]], even though they know full-well that if the US decided to, they could easily invade and conquer Canædia in a short amount of time (starting shortly after breakfast with "mission accomplished" sometime before lunch).

Canædia is always cold, so its primary export is ice and ice-related products (like ice hockey and iceberg lettuce). Canædia is also the world's primary producer of [[Slurpee]]s, which, despite the weather, can be enjoyed from any of the country's several thousand [[7-11]] or [[Tom Serson|Tim Horton's]] establishments. Often, Canædians use [[Slurpee]]s to warm themselves on cold winter nights.

Canædia's other main export products include maple syrup, mediocrity, [[awesome|Rush]], imaginary boyfriends, and shitty [[Metal (music)|Celine Dion CDs]]. They [[DO NOT WANT|did not want]] Dion in the first place, and deported her at one point to the [[USA]], but since then have bought most of her back in the form of digital media. They use her to scare away caribou and heterosexual men.

Canædia is best known for being America's bitch in nearly all areas of economics. 99.99% of Canædia's national income comes from wealthy American [[white trash|tourists]] and investors while the other [[Math|99.98]]% of it comes from the mineral rights stolen from [[Lakotastan]]. They even get ecto-nomically bitchslapped by the USA, having only 1/3 as many ghosts per family household.

[[losers|Basement Pot Farms]] account for about 110% of the average personal income and are the only sector of the economy still in private hands. This will end soon, however, since pot farms are to be imminently socialized and integrated into the Supreme Church of Healthcare and Discotheque.

==[[Culture]]==
[[Image:Canadian-milk-bags.jpg|thumb|left|[[Milk Bags|Fact]]]]
[[Image:canada_milk_34.jpg|thumb|left|[[Rule 34|No exceptions]]]]
[[Image:CANADA_cartoon.gif|thumb|What a typical Canædian citizen looks like.]]
Canædia is a cultural wasteland as they have none at all, but they insist people call their Eskimos by some made-up word that isn't even [[English]]: "Inuit", the [[Liberal|politically correct]], [[Shit nobody cares about|meaningful]] term for "Ice-Nigger". Canadia's [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|proximity to]], and [[buttsecks|extensive relations]] with [[America]] are the only reason [[Shit nobody cares about|anyone cares]] about Canædia. Sometimes Canædians like to pretend they're Brits by spelling things funny but even their [[Fags|Frenchfags]] have their own separatist homeland. Wussies. <s>Some</s> All [[Redundant|Frenchfags]] have to raise shit every 5 years or so to make their [[balls]] feel big because even France doesn't want them back.

Their communist government, in order to pretend Canædia has something to say about itself, actually pays Canædians to be artists and documentary film-makers. They've managed to get their "art" into America via a method too subtle for America's [[Department of Homeland Security]] to detect - they ''give'' it away to the most obvious failure of American capitalism: PBS

One of Canædia's most cherished foods is [http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=806_1184327047 apple-sauce].

In the 80s Canædia almost forced a coup d'État in American radio. They taxed themselves to bankruptcy in order to finance paying American radio stations to play Bryan Adams songs. They paid off rambling Rolling Stone commentators to give Bryan Adams good reviews, and gave free vacations to everyone at MTV if they would go along and pretend Bryan Adams was hip - as if the Canædian "Summer of 69" was anything other than pretending they '''weren't''' smelly expatriate draft-dodging American [[hippies]]. To this day the entire country lives off the royalty checks from the [[RIAA]] every time a Bryan Adams song gets played on a [[Faux News|Fox]] reality show like "Skating with Celebrities".

But mostly they sit at home drinking beer and watching hockey or get on the Internet to bitch about everything. Canædians are generally bitchy because it snows all 365 days a year and their women are always bundled like beekeepers just to take a shit.

Canædians also invented the [[mullet]] decades before [[Americunt]] ([[white trash]]) ever did. This is not something they should be proud of. <s>Canædia is also usually about 10 years behind America in culture.</s> There is no Canædian culture. Just American re-runs and state propaganda. Fun fact: a lot of [[Fact|American television is made in Vancouver, Canædia.]]

==Remembering Canædia==
[[File:Rush1978.jpg|thumb|Yep.]]
[[Image:Doubles_luge.jpg|thumb|Olympic Ice Rape]]

The following is a list of what Canadia is remembered for.

===In general===
*'''[[Total Drama Island]]'''
*Having a military that models that of the [[French]], but has the distinction of being far worse than even those pussies.
*Being close to the United States.
*Igloos in the north.
*[[Weed|Ricky]], [[Cat|Bubbles]], [[Alcohol|Julian]] and [[Wigger|J-Roc]] (also known as The Fantastic Four)
*Playing Poker with beavers
*[[Theory]] of a [[Dead]]man, [[Celine Dion]], and [[Nickelback]]
*Murdering Ben Ferris in the forest
*Lumberjacks in the west (see [[Monty Python]])
*[[Fat Larry's Band|Barenaked Ladies]]
*The (unfunny) antics of the cast of [[redneck|Corner Gas]] in the Canædian Prairies which are not bigger than the Great Plains region of the US
*[[Poser|Newfies (Irish Wannabes)]] in the east.
*[[wut|Johnny Test]]
*[[Emo|Rush]]
*Trailer park meth labs (see [[Poser|"Newfies"]]).
*[[Ed, Edd n Eddy]]
*[[Loco Melones]]
*Finishing the shit the U.S. doesn't care enough to do in war.
'''Sports'''
* Beer drinking
* Hockey
* Basketball (failing at...)
* Pogroms
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2hHbaE0yqY Puffin]-Fu
* "Curling" (only Canædians know what it is)
* Taking LSD and doing snow angels under the Northern Lights
* Chewing spouse's mukluks at dawn so they will be soft enough to wear
* [[Lolcow|Elk]] milking

[[image:Canadianguy.jpg|thumb|right|Typical Canadian [[DERP|student]] after weed]]

==="People"===
*[[Marc Lepine]]
*[[Kimveer Gill]]
*[[Rob Ford]]
*Deadmau5
*Celine Dion
*Jon Lajoie
*Mike Myers
*[[Jordan_Peterson|Jordan Peterson]]
*[[Shit no one cares about|Mikelat]]
*Wolverine (It's where all of the military might and awesome went)
*Thing 1
*[[Avril Lavigne]]
*Terrance and Phillip
*[[Your mom]]
*[[William Shatner|Captian James T. Motherfucking Kirk]].
*[[Shit|Nickelback]]
*[[Animutation|Colin]] [[Advice Colin Mochrie|Mochrie]]
*[[Retard|Sum 41]]
*Captain Malcolm Reynolds
*[[Pedophilia]]
*Thing 2
*Djy1991
*[[Shinra Online|Erotic Joe]]
*[[machinima|digital ph33r/digital queer]] [[lie|(depends on preference)]]
*[[Hitler]]
*[[Jawsus]]
*The Kids in the Hall ([[Tranny|trannies]] are meant to be laughed AT, not laughed WITH).
*[http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/mem/intrepid Intrepid] from Dumbass site [[Above_Top_Secret]] He is the pinnacle of Gay Canadian Elk Milkers.
*[[Justin Trudeau]]
*[[Justin Bieber]]
* Daniel "Danny" Lorraine, a retarded bus guy from the children's anime [[Shit no one cares about|Martha Speaks]]
*And last but not least, [[You]] yourrself.

==Armed Forces==

[[Image:Canadian_army.jpg|thumb|A typical soldier of the Canadian Armed Forces]]
[[File:Winner cuck.jpg|thumb|Typical cucknadian understanding of war]]
{{quote|'''In America you go to war and you die, for the [[Jews|United States of America]], in Canædia you go to war and you die, for the [[Jews|United States of America]].'''|Excerpt from Stephen Harper's address to the Canædian military}} Canædia's only military victories have been in WWI, WWII and against baby seals. [[Lie|But this means little because the United States paid for their entire war budget (including that of Britain, France and Russia) and supplied the then poverty-ridden Canædians with all of their weapons, supplies, ammunition, fapping material and food.]]

Smugly ignorant Canædians like to think Canædia wasn’t part of Operation Oilraqi Freedumb, but when sand-nigger blood started flowing in Oilraq the Canædian Government cried and cried until Tard Ferguson let Canædian corporations dip their beaks in it. And if Operation Iraqi Faildumb was a for-profit atrocity committed by profiteers, Canædia was definitely a member of the Coalition Of The Willing To Kill Brown People For sweet Jew Gold.

Even in 1812 Canædians were wanna-be Americans; imitating America by vandalizing Washington only after the US had obliterated the city of York. (I also forgot to mention... [[Win|Canædia]] won.) And Canædians have accomplished so little in the last two centuries that they still bring it up... all the time! The British burned down the White House... no wait they didn't, they only slightly tarnished it, and it stood standing, ([[9/11|being constructed of 100% solid Americunt faggotry, it is indestructible]]). This was a retaliatory act after Americans wiped York off the face of the Earth '''after it surrendered.'''

York (present-day Toronto) was Canædia's capital at the time, making it hilarious for Canædians to gloat about "burning down the White House" considering A) it didn't happen that way, B) The British had to do everything for them, C) the Canædian capital surrendered to US forces long before then, and D) it was the only partially successful objective completed out of four by the fascist side, meaning [[Truth|Canædia was pwned far harder than anyone else in that war]]...People are just too fucking lazy to pick up a history book, which is funny, because whenever Canadians bring up the fact "they burned down the White House (which they didn't, it was the British)," they always mention how Americans need to "learn their own history" or something hypocritical like that. US militia and regular forces attempted to invade Upper Canædia, only to receive one of the most epic [[buttsecks|buttrapes]] in the history of war. To this day, Canadian women and children have nightmares of Andrew Jackson unleashing an unholy 1812 styled whoop-ass Americunt style.

Inexplicably, however, during [[shit nobody cares about|international war games]], Canædia seems to think they win every time (they enjoy taking close up pics of Amerifags ship hulls from their broke ass subs that are apparently fucking sneaky when they aren't on fire). [[retard|I can't fucking figure it out]]. The answer probably lies in their machinery turning into high velocity shrapnel half the time. Fucking lowest bidder. Either that or they divided by zero.

Oh, and in WW I, they took Vimy Ridge, because [[seriously|it had a nice view.]]

[[Retarded|If you want to live in a country that is proud of doing something important in this world while smugly saying they had no part in declaring war on countires then promptly blaming the Americunts for it, go to Canædia. Also, worship the fact that they fuckin' make ur paper. Everyone loves paper and Furniture, right?]]

Many in Canædia think that it will help make the military better by spending more money on it, but don't pay any attention to the fact that all they do is fight [[sandniggers|self destructing towels]] in the middle of a [[Afghanistan|Desert]].

==Trivia==
[[Image:A0005405_782590.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Jailbait? Not in Canædia!]]
[[Image:Scumbag_steve.jpg|thumb|left|150px|A Canædian that [[you]] can marry. Yes little boy, you can marry this thing.]]

Canædia is bigger and it's on top. If North America were a prison, America would be Canædia's bitch (only in the minds of insecure Canædians though). In reality though, Alaska would be fucking Canædia [[In_the_ass|in the ass]] while [[America|America]] railed Canædia's syrupy vagina. Whichever is easier for you to [[fap]] to.

[[File:Beelzaboot.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Canada's Devil Beelzaboot]]

Canada has it's own devil, Beelzaboot.

Canadians smell just like Americans, Arrogance with a hint of bacon cheese burgers.

If [[Za Warudo|the World]] was a sitcom, Canædia would be America's annoying <s>sister</s> <s>brother</s> <s>retarded cousin</s> haircut.

Although most people outside of Canædia realize that Canædia barely has the qualifications to be considered a real country in the first place, Canædians are some of the most proud and patriotic people on earth. This is mostly a direct result of [https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/arts/television/sex-television-and-canadian-content-rules/article22213079/?ref=http://www.theglobeandmail.com& Canædia's government-controlled media] where every newspaper, TV, show, and radio broadcast must meet a quota of pro-Canædian content, to create pride that otherwise couldn't exist. Were it not for this effort to instill Canædian pride and identity, Canædians would be virtually indistinguishable from the Americans that Canædians [[fact|think are inferior to them]].

Canædia's north contains a vast armada of woop shooping [[aeroplanes]], capable of ionizing all who oppose them. They are cleverly disguised as snow. They are also made of snow.

Canædia has a vast hidden nuclear arsenal with ICBMs under every Tim Hortons.

[[homosexuality|Same-sex]] marriage is legal in Canædia. Yes, that means [[YOU]] can marry now.

Canædia has more [[chink]]s than whites. Except during anime conventions.

Canædia has always been known as a [[lie|liberal]] country but now they can have their own pedofest due to the legal age of consent being a [[MONGO]] sized [[13-year-old girl|14]]. Now we know what else there is to do in Canædia apart from dog sledding and building igloos.

Age of consent is no longer an epic 14, it is now 16. However, 12 and 13 year olds can fuck 14 and 15 year olds, while 14 and 15 year olds can fuck 19 and 20 year olds.

CONFIRMED: [http://archive.fo/n7SnC Canædia has one of the worst records in the world on enforcing laws against child-sex tourism.]

Interestingly enough, Canadia is still one of the few countries where possessing [[loli]] is [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_pornography_laws_in_Canada#Visual_representations a v&able crime].

==Important note==

You want to conquer Canædia? It's easy young reader. Just grab a hammer and gun, and declare war on Canædia. Canædia will instinctively use their [[French]] tactics to surrender to you, thus making you the King of Canædia.

== Videos ==
<center>
{{frame|{{fv|CanadiaVideos|background-color: lightgreen;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>WULsZJxPfws</youtube> 
|<youtube>xEDCfcMZlZY</youtube> 
|<youtube>QCVxQ_3Ejkg</youtube> 
|<youtube>Ml_6d_kElcM</youtube><center><big>'''Typical Cultural Exportation'''</big></center>
|<youtube>6L37rwcg8EY</youtube> 
|<youtube>g_RPp4dbam8</youtube><center><big>'''Canadia is quite large'''</big></center>
|<youtube>5zey8567bcg</youtube> }}|border=lightgreen|background=lightgreen}}
</center> 
<center><html5media width="300"height="240">File:FrenchCanadianPoutine.mp4</html5media></center> 
<center>A traditional Canadian cuisine</center>

==Drama==
[[Image:Lolbutthurtcanadians.jpg|thumb|right|350px|Typical [[lulzy]] comments from this video.]]
'''Canada Sucks (NOTE: National butthurt debates in the comment section of this video.)'''
<youtube>OFs5l9K--7M</youtube>

Those two words in this one vidya spawned major [[lulz]] when Canadians got [[butthurt]] when they saw it. This caused many National debates between butthurt Canædians and American patriots in the comment section of the video. [http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=OFs5l9K--7M Srsly, click for hours of lulz.]
{{quote|Canaduhhhhhhh is the weakest nation I've ever visited. All they did was constantly compare themselves to Americans and how they AREN'T anything like Americans. Thankfully for Americans, Canadians are correct. Americans are far more hospitable, good looking, and educated. If you want to talk fat, then I can absolutely state that Canadians are much more obese as a nation than the U.S. I was amazed how many stereotypes of Americans were all the Canadians could cling to just to make themselves feel better about living in such a shithole. I finally asked my Canadian friend, "Then why do 90% of your population live within 100 kilometers of the U.S. border?" Her reply? "We are a Northern country and to move farther North would be too cold." I couldn't stop laughing at such a stupid reply. Truly, Canaduhhhhh is a fucking stupid nation, and its government and media constantly lying to its citizens about the state of affairs going on within their own borders. Every newscast had to include something that would put the U.S. in a bad light, while at the same time making Canaduhhhhh look like a nation of rainbows and ponies. Everyone in Toronto and Vancouver sat around on their fat asses and bragged about how much his/her house costs, yet half of them cannot even afford to furnish the interior properly. It is a very sad group of people who have a MAJOR inferiority complex, which is why they had to constantly compare themselves to their superior American cousins. I will never NEVER visit that rat hole of Canaduhhhhhhh again. As for the U.S., I will gladly go there again as I've never met a better group of people who would bend over backward to make me feel welcome. Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, and Los Angeles were fucking AMAZING, each place with its own flavor and culture. I'm from the Netherlands, and there is no comparison between the two nations.|--so says the filthy dope-sucking [[The Netherlands|Dutchman]]}}

==How To Troll A Canædian==

*Ask them how York is doing if they ever mention burning down the White House
*Tell them their healthcare isn't free
*Insult Bryan Adams
*Tell them it smells like cow shit there
*Say that America is better
*[[Dorian_Gay|Talk about pre-2000 horror movies on IMDb.]]
*Insult their hockey teams [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=LQ7YwVUVg6U| USE THIS WITH CAUTION OR THEY'LL START TO RIOT!]
*[[Lie|Tell them that Canædia isn't actually bigger in terms of land area than the United States as Canædia has so many fucking lakes. They actually fall behind the US because of this. For that matter, mention China also beats them.]]
*Tell them to say "about"
*Ask which part of the States they come from.

==Gallery==

{{cg|Expandable Gallery, Eh?|canadiagallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Justin_trudeau_dope_dude_weed_lmao.png|[[Justin Trudeau|Current General Secretary]] of the Union of Maple Moosefucker Republics (UMMR).
Image:Flag-of-CandEDa.png|[[Lie|The flag of Canadia, And we Love it.]]
Image:Cannaba.jpg|Current flag of Soviet Canuckistan.
Image:Canada40s.PNG|The most recent idea for changes to the Canadian flag
Image:USAandCanadianpolicecar.png|Isn't it funny as shit, You [[American]] [[cops]] suck compare to this bad boy!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Harper cowboy.jpg|Typical [[Conservatism|Canadian]]
Image:Wantsomeofthiscanada.png|What a Canadian looks like.
Image:L 067d4e04bf4f9372876aad087ea07001.jpg| [http://www.myspace.com/photolexx Typical Canadia hipster]
Image:Igloo.jpg|Typical Canadians home
Image:Canuckistan-Dick-Flag.jpg|This will be the new Canædian flag in the future.
Image:CANADIANPM.jpg|The mythical ruler of the Canadian north.More like the Chinks who invaded CHINADA!
Image:Bagmilk1.JPG|In Canædia, milk comes in bags. [[unfunny|More like milk cums in fags]], [[no|amirite?]]
Image:Bagmilk2.JPG|Bagged milk is cheaper, leaving us with more money to buy the things we love. (moar milk)
Image:Bagmilk3.JPG|DELICIOUS MILK. I MUST DRINK IT!
Image:canwoop.jpg|O SHOOOOP-DA-WOOOOP! OUR HOME AND MAH LAZER!
Image:Boardsofcanada.jpg|Something to do with Canadia. And boards. Excellent disc, unfortunately not of Canadia.
Image:Ketchup chips collection.jpg|What's next? Freedom Fries covered with cheese and gravy?
Image:Moderately annoyed canadian.jpg|[[FanFic Critic#The Net Dwellers and Manic Expression|A moderately annoyed Canadian]].
Image:Flag canadia.JPG|The Soviet Canuckistan Flag
File:11Canadaball88.jpg
Image:Japanada.png|For [[Wapanese]]-Canadian
Image:The_canadians.jpg|From a very big "Pro Canadia" campaign in Germany.
Image:SwirlfaceNEW.jpg|[[Swirl face|A typical friendly looking Canadian]].
Image:Canadian_Is_A_Race.JPG|"Canadian" is a race.
Image:nlc007821-v4.jpg|Oh my, how [[Original character|original]].
Image:Beanuglymfer01.jpg|[[Bean|A Canadian emo -- over 9,000 times moar terrifying than the Americunt version]].
File:JustinTrudeugay.png
File:Speaking English.png
Image:Harpermouth.jpg|OM NOM NOM.
File:A Fucking Leaf On Acid.jpg
Image:Bob-and-doug-mckenzie.jpg|Canadia's most influencal citizens
Image:MOMIN.jpg|The great Canadian terrorist.
Image:Canada flag.gif
Image:CanadianPresident-JeanChretien.jpg|This man was once the [[President|Dark Emperor]] of Canædia
Image:Captaincanada.JPG|One of many failed Canædian super heroes.
Image:Fubar.jpg|Canædian beer drinking team.
Image:shat!.jpg|It's his world. We just live in it.
Image:Canadian joke.png|Lol, Canadians love [[hockey]]
Image:ColonelPedobearFINAL.png|In 2010, Canædia became the first country to have Pedobear in a [[Colonel Russell Williams|Colonel format]]
Image:Homeless_crackhead_panhandling.jpg|What the homeless do in London for money. Despite this, he still leads a more meaningful existence than Rootbrian.
Image:Canada_-_Graffiti.jpg
File:CanadianRedMenace.jpg
File:CanadaDeservesNuke.jpg|The mudslimes have a point you know.
File:CanadaWhoWouldWin.jpg|Spoilers: The right side won
File:Canada's Navy.jpg
File:Canadian Military.jpg|Canædia boasts a world-class highly trained military
File:Canadian Navy2.jpg
File:CanadianNavy4448349sufgljdskflhdas.jpg
File:Canadian Threat.png|A fucking leaf
File:Canadian Fat fucker.jpg|Another fuckin leaf that needs to hit the treadmill
File:Canada Suicide Flag.jpg
File:Canadaball.jpg
File:Canadian Cultural Pride.jpg
File:Rake The Leafs.jpg
File:Canadian Anal Sex.png|Canada has the largest number of porn actors, [[Hipster|lumberj]][[Hippie|acks]]<s>NOT</s>
File:Canadian Empire.jpg|Canædian Empire
File:Canadian cops.jpg|Canædian cops are just as brutal as american ones, just in more sinful ways~
File:Day Of The Rake.jpg
File:Canadian.jpg|What the typical Canædian looks like
File:FlagOfCanada.jpg
File:Chineseflags.jpg
Image:Canada_-_Tragedy_In_Eastern_Canada.jpg
File:Kevin_Vickers_kills_a_piece_of_shit.jpg|Canædia can into removing kebab
Image:StephenHarper_OtherFormerEmperor.jpg|Another previous Dark Emperor.
</gallery>}}



=="Best Things About Canædia" Polls For Your Voting Pleasure==
*<s>[http://www.livejournal.com/poll/?id=334847 Best thing about Canædia, it's not the USA.]</s>
*[http://www.livejournal.com/poll/?id=338339 What do you most like about Canædia?]
*[[Moving to Canada|Post-Obama Canædia]]

==See also==
[[File:Soros-and-trudeau.png|right|200px|thumb|[[YGGR|Prepare to be culturally enriched!]]]]
*[[Hockey]]
*[[Trailer Park Boys]]
*[[Cocaine Babe]] Second most famous Canadian after Erotic Joe
*[[Colonel Russell Williams]]
*[[Luka Magnotta]]
*[[Justin Beiber]] - Canædia's toughest guy
*[[Justin Trudeau]] - current virile dictator
*[[Avery Chicoine]]
*[[Telus]]
*[[Ontario]]
*[[Quebec]]

==Other External Links==
[[File:Canada israel kinship postage stamp.jpg|right|thumb|200px|With moose, get joos!]]
*[http://archive.fo/CE4OK Liberal Party of Canædia Tax Fetish Scandal!]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060617231618/http://tlt.psu.edu/suggestions/international/bylanguage/kannadachart.html Canadia uses a strange alphabet ಠ_ಠ]
*[http://bagslap.com/bag.html Another kind of bagged milk.]
*[http://saskatoonlivescanner.blogspot.com/ Saskatoon Scanner] A guy from [http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Saskatoon,+SK,+Canada&layer=&ie=UTF8&om=1&z=9&ll=52.150765,-106.622314&spn=0.768491,1.867676&t=h Saskatoon, Sasquatcheewank, Canadia]
*[http://canadachan.org/main Canadia Chan]
*[http://archive.fo/C5vWR Queerbec Chan]

 
 
{{4chanarchive|52187497|canadia > all?}}
{{Commonwealth}}
{{Unitedstates}}
{{Canada}}
{{Takedown}}

{{Timeline|Featured article January 10, [[2006]]|[[Convention]]|[[Canadia]]|[[The War of Northern Aggression]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 1, [[2010]]|[[Lexi Bee]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article October 21 & 22 [[2015]]|[[Netorare]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[David "Walky" Willis]]}}

[[Category: Locations]]

{{timeline|Article of the Now July 1, [[2025]]|[[Mississippi]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Death]]}}

Soviet Canuckistan

2025-03-26T20:14:51Z

JoeyPknowsalotaboutthat: we flushed the turd

[[Image:CanadasPopulationMap.gif|frame|center|Canæda's population, [[srsly]].]]
[[Image:Ed2notshit.png|thumb|left|150px|The Canædian flag.]]
[[Image:Anonflagofcanada2 copy.jpg|thumb|left|150px| The Union Flag.]]
[[Image:Loonie.jpg|thumb|The Canædian dollar, [[you're a bird|known as a ''loonie'']].]]
[[Image:Typical_candian_couple.jpg|thumb|right|150px|| <strike>This is what an average Canædian couple looks like</strike> look below]]
[[Image:Indianpeople.jpg|thumb|right|150px|| Immigrants love Canædia. They're the actual common couple]]
[[File:fuckingsnowcan.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Typical Canadian Roads]]
 
'''Canæda''' (also known as '''America's [[Nigra|Fro]]''', '''Diet America''', '''America Junior''', or '''America's Retarded Cousin''') is a [[Frozen|frozen]] wasteland where all the population crowd the southern border because they want [[shit nobody cares about|nothing to do with the rest of it]] (see above). Canadians like to brag that they are the world’s largest nature preserve for resources, which are stripped bare and shipped straight to the US. Too bad it's the only thing it's good for. Because of severe brain trauma resulting from junior hockey and the near complete lack of culture in Canæda more than the as an eternal British colony, it's population is known to have an average IQ just slightly above that of South Carolina and a miserable requirement level in all areas of life.

Ironically however, Canædians haven't yet realized that nobody cares their British allies slightly stained the White House one million years ago. Every year, the tale of the "Great 1812 patriotic war against the imperialist Americans" is told and retold to small children until they cry. A small band of fat reenactors then "defend" sacred Canædian land until the first case of Angina sets in.

Canædia is exactly like the United States except without all of the entertainment, technology, culture, tolerable climates, guaranteed civil rights and because it was created by British, not Canadians (like [[Hong Kong]]), which makes it, understandably so, an extremely boring country to live in. However, notable differences are that Canædia is always big and juicy, it has a different currency and it even had it's own [[Quebec|Frenchfags]]. Many [[Luser|LJ user]]s are from Canædia. It is hated by the [[God hates fags|Westboro Baptist Church]] due to its high population of [[homosexuals]]. Of course, the average person doesn't know Canædia exists.

Canædians think their beer is better than American beer, simply because of the fact that it has more alcohol in it. What they don't realize is that [[SNCA|the alcohol content difference between Labatt and Molson is about 1%; however, since typical American beer is 4% alcohol by volume, and the typical Canædians beer is 5% by volume, this means that Canadian beer has 25% more alcohol by volume than American beer]]. Because of the shithole wasteland Canædia is, it's important Canædian beer be more potent. The constant drunken state the average Canadian stays in, ensures they never realize the [[truth]] about their barren sheet of ice resulting in a minimal amount of Canadians immigrating and infecting their [[Americans|superiors]] to the South. The slight difference in average IQs between the two country's populations are more than negated by Canadia's [[socialist|socialist]] education system which has ensured that most Canadians can do simple math. Canadians are especially good at doing simple math in order to calculate how much alcohol they are ingesting or how much tax they will pay. Using the [[math|metric system]] facilitates their ability to do basic math, so Canædians can also figure out whether or not they are driving over the speed limit (because the [[AIDS]] that has infected most of them via [[buttsecks]], has damaged their sense of sight enough that they can no longer read speedometers).

==Canædian People==

Canædia is composed of fags, creeps and hipsters which bitch about their cuck of a prime minister but secretly enjoy that universal healthcare but don't want Americans to have them since they hate Americans so they sent in three spies to destroy our way of life and help that Zionist Jew Ben Shapiro conquer the United States for the Jews.

[[File:Three Leafs.jpg|500px|center|thumb|These three bastards deserve to a bullet to the head]]

==Government==
[[Image:RhinoParty.jpg|thumb|left|Rulers of Canædia]]
[[Image:rexMurphy.jpg|thumb|left|Rex Murphy: A God Among Canædians]]
[[Image:Queen nude stamp.jpg|thumb|Elizabeth II, by Grace of [[God]], [[Queen]] of the [[UK]] and <s>her British North Amærica</s> Canædia]]
[[Image:1277583750586.jpg|thumb|Canædia, where hockey is [[serious business]]]]
Until [[Conservatism|GOP fanboy]] leader [[Sock_puppet|Stephen Harper]] came to power after performing a successful mind meld/Blowjob on Rick Mercer, Canædia was officially governed by the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party_of_Canada#Policies_and_politics Rhinoceros Party of Canædia].

Long known for its population's weakness and propensity for [[cutting]], Canædia has instituted a [[Communist]] healthcare system. Canædians make $13.62 a year after paying taxes and welfare to raghead-immigrant terrorists, and then are tarded enough to think their healthcare is “free.” This means that while no one has to directly pay for medical treatment, Canædians have a tax rate of [[at_least_100|109%]]. However they do spend less per capita on health-care than the [[America|Dumbfuckingstan]], but that's because Canædian health-care is [[cuban|substandard]] at best. There are plentiful and free abortions, resulting in both low crime rates and decreased niggerdom, proving there ''is'' an [[welfare|upside to being poor]]. So if you're into [[Goatse]] and your anus rips you can get stitched back together for free. That is if your dentures don't fall through your ass first while waiting for your sub-standard treatment. Plus the free medium-grade drugs aren't that bad either. The USA is nice enough to extend a hand in friendship by giving Canædia its Crack and keeping the good stuff for Ru-Paul.

In addition, it is the decree of Canædia's
[http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/english/media/minister/index.html Archbishop of Health Care] that all Canædians must hoard flu shots for use as salad dressing and personal lubricant.

Canædia has the highest population of [[homosexuals]] of any country in the world. Using terrorist threats (specifically, [[Susan Boyle|Celine Dion]]), Gaynadians forced the Queen to legalize gay marriage, effectively ending Canædian society and instituting mass anarchy. While no one has yet been killed, there have been several "ambush makeovers". When gay marriage was legalized, many of the [[homosexuals]] decided to celebrate by building a large, penis shaped building in downtown Toronto. However, the [[Arabs]] later outdid the Gaynadan construction workers, by building an even bigger tower in Dubai; just going to show that they're trying to compensate for something that they desperately lack.

{{quote|The tragedy of Canædia is that they had the [[Profit!|perfect opportunity]] to enjoy [[Cunnilingus|French cuisine]], [[Capitalism|British culture]] and [[Windows|American technology]], and instead they ended up with [[shitting dick nipples|British cuisine]], [[San Francisco|American culture]] and [[Shit nobody cares about|French technology]].|Anonymous}}

{{quote|Just because 10% of the population of Canædia is [[French]], doesn't mean that I'm going to learn the language. Ten percent of the population is [[gay]] also, but I'm not going to learn how to suck a [[cock]].|Stephen Harper, Prime Fuckin' Minister of Canædia (When asked why he doesn't speak French)}}

==Geography and Economy==
[[File:Canadian Internet Plans.png|thumb|right|Average Canadian ISP]]
Canædia is the second-largest country on [[Earth]] in terms of land-area. That is, if you consider frozen water to be land. But since only about .01 percent of that land-area is not a permanently frozen shithole, this honor really doesn't amount to much. Plus, this benefit of a large landmass means little for defensive purposes. However, uneasy and intimidated Canædians sometimes spout out, "Our country is bigger than the US!" believing that this somehow means they are more powerful. Other Canædians just say this in attempt to salvage their pathetic Canædian [[dignity]], even though they know full-well that if the US decided to, they could easily invade and conquer Canædia in a short amount of time (starting shortly after breakfast with "mission accomplished" sometime before lunch).

Canædia is always cold, so its primary export is ice and ice-related products (like ice hockey and iceberg lettuce). Canædia is also the world's primary producer of [[Slurpee]]s, which, despite the weather, can be enjoyed from any of the country's several thousand [[7-11]] or [[Tom Serson|Tim Horton's]] establishments. Often, Canædians use [[Slurpee]]s to warm themselves on cold winter nights.

Canædia's other main export products include maple syrup, mediocrity, [[awesome|Rush]], imaginary boyfriends, and shitty [[Metal (music)|Celine Dion CDs]]. They [[DO NOT WANT|did not want]] Dion in the first place, and deported her at one point to the [[USA]], but since then have bought most of her back in the form of digital media. They use her to scare away caribou and heterosexual men.

Canædia is best known for being America's bitch in nearly all areas of economics. 99.99% of Canædia's national income comes from wealthy American [[white trash|tourists]] and investors while the other [[Math|99.98]]% of it comes from the mineral rights stolen from [[Lakotastan]]. They even get ecto-nomically bitchslapped by the USA, having only 1/3 as many ghosts per family household.

[[losers|Basement Pot Farms]] account for about 110% of the average personal income and are the only sector of the economy still in private hands. This will end soon, however, since pot farms are to be imminently socialized and integrated into the Supreme Church of Healthcare and Discotheque.

==[[Culture]]==
[[Image:Canadian-milk-bags.jpg|thumb|left|[[Milk Bags|Fact]]]]
[[Image:canada_milk_34.jpg|thumb|left|[[Rule 34|No exceptions]]]]
[[Image:CANADA_cartoon.gif|thumb|What a typical Canædian citizen looks like.]]
Canædia is a cultural wasteland as they have none at all, but they insist people call their Eskimos by some made-up word that isn't even [[English]]: "Inuit", the [[Liberal|politically correct]], [[Shit nobody cares about|meaningful]] term for "Ice-Nigger". Canadia's [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|proximity to]], and [[buttsecks|extensive relations]] with [[America]] are the only reason [[Shit nobody cares about|anyone cares]] about Canædia. Sometimes Canædians like to pretend they're Brits by spelling things funny but even their [[Fags|Frenchfags]] have their own separatist homeland. Wussies. <s>Some</s> All [[Redundant|Frenchfags]] have to raise shit every 5 years or so to make their [[balls]] feel big because even France doesn't want them back.

Their communist government, in order to pretend Canædia has something to say about itself, actually pays Canædians to be artists and documentary film-makers. They've managed to get their "art" into America via a method too subtle for America's [[Department of Homeland Security]] to detect - they ''give'' it away to the most obvious failure of American capitalism: PBS

One of Canædia's most cherished foods is [http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=806_1184327047 apple-sauce].

In the 80s Canædia almost forced a coup d'État in American radio. They taxed themselves to bankruptcy in order to finance paying American radio stations to play Bryan Adams songs. They paid off rambling Rolling Stone commentators to give Bryan Adams good reviews, and gave free vacations to everyone at MTV if they would go along and pretend Bryan Adams was hip - as if the Canædian "Summer of 69" was anything other than pretending they '''weren't''' smelly expatriate draft-dodging American [[hippies]]. To this day the entire country lives off the royalty checks from the [[RIAA]] every time a Bryan Adams song gets played on a [[Faux News|Fox]] reality show like "Skating with Celebrities".

But mostly they sit at home drinking beer and watching hockey or get on the Internet to bitch about everything. Canædians are generally bitchy because it snows all 365 days a year and their women are always bundled like beekeepers just to take a shit.

Canædians also invented the [[mullet]] decades before [[Americunt]] ([[white trash]]) ever did. This is not something they should be proud of. <s>Canædia is also usually about 10 years behind America in culture.</s> There is no Canædian culture. Just American re-runs and state propaganda. Fun fact: a lot of [[Fact|American television is made in Vancouver, Canædia.]]

==Remembering Canædia==
[[File:Rush1978.jpg|thumb|Yep.]]
[[Image:Doubles_luge.jpg|thumb|Olympic Ice Rape]]

The following is a list of what Canadia is remembered for.

===In general===
*'''[[Total Drama Island]]'''
*Having a military that models that of the [[French]], but has the distinction of being far worse than even those pussies.
*Being close to the United States.
*Igloos in the north.
*[[Weed|Ricky]], [[Cat|Bubbles]], [[Alcohol|Julian]] and [[Wigger|J-Roc]] (also known as The Fantastic Four)
*Playing Poker with beavers
*[[Theory]] of a [[Dead]]man, [[Celine Dion]], and [[Nickelback]]
*Murdering Ben Ferris in the forest
*Lumberjacks in the west (see [[Monty Python]])
*[[Fat Larry's Band|Barenaked Ladies]]
*The (unfunny) antics of the cast of [[redneck|Corner Gas]] in the Canædian Prairies which are not bigger than the Great Plains region of the US
*[[Poser|Newfies (Irish Wannabes)]] in the east.
*[[wut|Johnny Test]]
*[[Emo|Rush]]
*Trailer park meth labs (see [[Poser|"Newfies"]]).
*[[Ed, Edd n Eddy]]
*[[Loco Melones]]
*Finishing the shit the U.S. doesn't care enough to do in war.
'''Sports'''
* Beer drinking
* Hockey
* Basketball (failing at...)
* Pogroms
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2hHbaE0yqY Puffin]-Fu
* "Curling" (only Canædians know what it is)
* Taking LSD and doing snow angels under the Northern Lights
* Chewing spouse's mukluks at dawn so they will be soft enough to wear
* [[Lolcow|Elk]] milking

[[image:Canadianguy.jpg|thumb|right|Typical Canadian [[DERP|student]] after weed]]

==="People"===
*[[Marc Lepine]]
*[[Kimveer Gill]]
*[[Rob Ford]]
*Deadmau5
*Celine Dion
*Jon Lajoie
*Mike Myers
*[[Jordan_Peterson|Jordan Peterson]]
*[[Shit no one cares about|Mikelat]]
*Wolverine (It's where all of the military might and awesome went)
*Thing 1
*[[Avril Lavigne]]
*Terrance and Phillip
*[[Your mom]]
*[[William Shatner|Captian James T. Motherfucking Kirk]].
*[[Shit|Nickelback]]
*[[Animutation|Colin]] [[Advice Colin Mochrie|Mochrie]]
*[[Retard|Sum 41]]
*Captain Malcolm Reynolds
*[[Pedophilia]]
*Thing 2
*Djy1991
*[[Shinra Online|Erotic Joe]]
*[[machinima|digital ph33r/digital queer]] [[lie|(depends on preference)]]
*[[Hitler]]
*[[Jawsus]]
*The Kids in the Hall ([[Tranny|trannies]] are meant to be laughed AT, not laughed WITH).
*[http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/mem/intrepid Intrepid] from Dumbass site [[Above_Top_Secret]] He is the pinnacle of Gay Canadian Elk Milkers.
*[[Justin Trudeau]]
*[[Justin Bieber]]
* Daniel "Danny" Lorraine, a retarded bus guy from the children's anime [[Shit no one cares about|Martha Speaks]]
*And last but not least, [[You]] yourrself.

==Armed Forces==

[[Image:Canadian_army.jpg|thumb|A typical soldier of the Canadian Armed Forces]]
[[File:Winner cuck.jpg|thumb|Typical cucknadian understanding of war]]
{{quote|'''In America you go to war and you die, for the [[Jews|United States of America]], in Canædia you go to war and you die, for the [[Jews|United States of America]].'''|Excerpt from Stephen Harper's address to the Canædian military}} Canædia's only military victories have been in WWI, WWII and against baby seals. [[Lie|But this means little because the United States paid for their entire war budget (including that of Britain, France and Russia) and supplied the then poverty-ridden Canædians with all of their weapons, supplies, ammunition, fapping material and food.]]

Smugly ignorant Canædians like to think Canædia wasn’t part of Operation Oilraqi Freedumb, but when sand-nigger blood started flowing in Oilraq the Canædian Government cried and cried until Tard Ferguson let Canædian corporations dip their beaks in it. And if Operation Iraqi Faildumb was a for-profit atrocity committed by profiteers, Canædia was definitely a member of the Coalition Of The Willing To Kill Brown People For sweet Jew Gold.

Even in 1812 Canædians were wanna-be Americans; imitating America by vandalizing Washington only after the US had obliterated the city of York. (I also forgot to mention... [[Win|Canædia]] won.) And Canædians have accomplished so little in the last two centuries that they still bring it up... all the time! The British burned down the White House... no wait they didn't, they only slightly tarnished it, and it stood standing, ([[9/11|being constructed of 100% solid Americunt faggotry, it is indestructible]]). This was a retaliatory act after Americans wiped York off the face of the Earth '''after it surrendered.'''

York (present-day Toronto) was Canædia's capital at the time, making it hilarious for Canædians to gloat about "burning down the White House" considering A) it didn't happen that way, B) The British had to do everything for them, C) the Canædian capital surrendered to US forces long before then, and D) it was the only partially successful objective completed out of four by the fascist side, meaning [[Truth|Canædia was pwned far harder than anyone else in that war]]...People are just too fucking lazy to pick up a history book, which is funny, because whenever Canadians bring up the fact "they burned down the White House (which they didn't, it was the British)," they always mention how Americans need to "learn their own history" or something hypocritical like that. US militia and regular forces attempted to invade Upper Canædia, only to receive one of the most epic [[buttsecks|buttrapes]] in the history of war. To this day, Canadian women and children have nightmares of Andrew Jackson unleashing an unholy 1812 styled whoop-ass Americunt style.

Inexplicably, however, during [[shit nobody cares about|international war games]], Canædia seems to think they win every time (they enjoy taking close up pics of Amerifags ship hulls from their broke ass subs that are apparently fucking sneaky when they aren't on fire). [[retard|I can't fucking figure it out]]. The answer probably lies in their machinery turning into high velocity shrapnel half the time. Fucking lowest bidder. Either that or they divided by zero.

Oh, and in WW I, they took Vimy Ridge, because [[seriously|it had a nice view.]]

[[Retarded|If you want to live in a country that is proud of doing something important in this world while smugly saying they had no part in declaring war on countires then promptly blaming the Americunts for it, go to Canædia. Also, worship the fact that they fuckin' make ur paper. Everyone loves paper and Furniture, right?]]

Many in Canædia think that it will help make the military better by spending more money on it, but don't pay any attention to the fact that all they do is fight [[sandniggers|self destructing towels]] in the middle of a [[Afghanistan|Desert]].

==Trivia==
[[Image:A0005405_782590.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Jailbait? Not in Canædia!]]
[[Image:Scumbag_steve.jpg|thumb|left|150px|A Canædian that [[you]] can marry. Yes little boy, you can marry this thing.]]

Canædia is bigger and it's on top. If North America were a prison, America would be Canædia's bitch (only in the minds of insecure Canædians though). In reality though, Alaska would be fucking Canædia [[In_the_ass|in the ass]] while [[America|America]] railed Canædia's syrupy vagina. Whichever is easier for you to [[fap]] to.

[[File:Beelzaboot.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Canada's Devil Beelzaboot]]

Canada has it's own devil, Beelzaboot.

Canadians smell just like Americans, Arrogance with a hint of bacon cheese burgers.

If [[Za Warudo|the World]] was a sitcom, Canædia would be America's annoying <s>sister</s> <s>brother</s> <s>retarded cousin</s> haircut.

Although most people outside of Canædia realize that Canædia barely has the qualifications to be considered a real country in the first place, Canædians are some of the most proud and patriotic people on earth. This is mostly a direct result of [https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/arts/television/sex-television-and-canadian-content-rules/article22213079/?ref=http://www.theglobeandmail.com& Canædia's government-controlled media] where every newspaper, TV, show, and radio broadcast must meet a quota of pro-Canædian content, to create pride that otherwise couldn't exist. Were it not for this effort to instill Canædian pride and identity, Canædians would be virtually indistinguishable from the Americans that Canædians [[fact|think are inferior to them]].

Canædia's north contains a vast armada of woop shooping [[aeroplanes]], capable of ionizing all who oppose them. They are cleverly disguised as snow. They are also made of snow.

Canædia has a vast hidden nuclear arsenal with ICBMs under every Tim Hortons.

[[homosexuality|Same-sex]] marriage is legal in Canædia. Yes, that means [[YOU]] can marry now.

Canædia has more [[chink]]s than whites. Except during anime conventions.

Canædia has always been known as a [[lie|liberal]] country but now they can have their own pedofest due to the legal age of consent being a [[MONGO]] sized [[13-year-old girl|14]]. Now we know what else there is to do in Canædia apart from dog sledding and building igloos.

Age of consent is no longer an epic 14, it is now 16. However, 12 and 13 year olds can fuck 14 and 15 year olds, while 14 and 15 year olds can fuck 19 and 20 year olds.

CONFIRMED: [http://archive.fo/n7SnC Canædia has one of the worst records in the world on enforcing laws against child-sex tourism.]

Interestingly enough, Canadia is still one of the few countries where possessing [[loli]] is [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_pornography_laws_in_Canada#Visual_representations a v&able crime].

==Important note==

You want to conquer Canædia? It's easy young reader. Just grab a hammer and gun, and declare war on Canædia. Canædia will instinctively use their [[French]] tactics to surrender to you, thus making you the King of Canædia.

== Videos ==
<center>
{{frame|{{fv|CanadiaVideos|background-color: lightgreen;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>WULsZJxPfws</youtube> 
|<youtube>xEDCfcMZlZY</youtube> 
|<youtube>QCVxQ_3Ejkg</youtube> 
|<youtube>Ml_6d_kElcM</youtube><center><big>'''Typical Cultural Exportation'''</big></center>
|<youtube>6L37rwcg8EY</youtube> 
|<youtube>g_RPp4dbam8</youtube><center><big>'''Canadia is quite large'''</big></center>
|<youtube>5zey8567bcg</youtube> }}|border=lightgreen|background=lightgreen}}
</center> 
<center><html5media width="300"height="240">File:FrenchCanadianPoutine.mp4</html5media></center> 
<center>A traditional Canadian cuisine</center>

==Drama==
[[Image:Lolbutthurtcanadians.jpg|thumb|right|350px|Typical [[lulzy]] comments from this video.]]
'''Canada Sucks (NOTE: National butthurt debates in the comment section of this video.)'''
<youtube>OFs5l9K--7M</youtube>

Those two words in this one vidya spawned major [[lulz]] when Canadians got [[butthurt]] when they saw it. This caused many National debates between butthurt Canædians and American patriots in the comment section of the video. [http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=OFs5l9K--7M Srsly, click for hours of lulz.]
{{quote|Canaduhhhhhhh is the weakest nation I've ever visited. All they did was constantly compare themselves to Americans and how they AREN'T anything like Americans. Thankfully for Americans, Canadians are correct. Americans are far more hospitable, good looking, and educated. If you want to talk fat, then I can absolutely state that Canadians are much more obese as a nation than the U.S. I was amazed how many stereotypes of Americans were all the Canadians could cling to just to make themselves feel better about living in such a shithole. I finally asked my Canadian friend, "Then why do 90% of your population live within 100 kilometers of the U.S. border?" Her reply? "We are a Northern country and to move farther North would be too cold." I couldn't stop laughing at such a stupid reply. Truly, Canaduhhhhh is a fucking stupid nation, and its government and media constantly lying to its citizens about the state of affairs going on within their own borders. Every newscast had to include something that would put the U.S. in a bad light, while at the same time making Canaduhhhhh look like a nation of rainbows and ponies. Everyone in Toronto and Vancouver sat around on their fat asses and bragged about how much his/her house costs, yet half of them cannot even afford to furnish the interior properly. It is a very sad group of people who have a MAJOR inferiority complex, which is why they had to constantly compare themselves to their superior American cousins. I will never NEVER visit that rat hole of Canaduhhhhhhh again. As for the U.S., I will gladly go there again as I've never met a better group of people who would bend over backward to make me feel welcome. Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, and Los Angeles were fucking AMAZING, each place with its own flavor and culture. I'm from the Netherlands, and there is no comparison between the two nations.|--so says the filthy dope-sucking [[The Netherlands|Dutchman]]}}

==How To Troll A Canædian==

*Ask them how York is doing if they ever mention burning down the White House
*Tell them their healthcare isn't free
*Insult Bryan Adams
*Tell them it smells like cow shit there
*Say that America is better
*[[Dorian_Gay|Talk about pre-2000 horror movies on IMDb.]]
*Insult their hockey teams [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=LQ7YwVUVg6U| USE THIS WITH CAUTION OR THEY'LL START TO RIOT!]
*[[Lie|Tell them that Canædia isn't actually bigger in terms of land area than the United States as Canædia has so many fucking lakes. They actually fall behind the US because of this. For that matter, mention China also beats them.]]
*Tell them to say "about"
*Ask which part of the States they come from.

==Gallery==

{{cg|Expandable Gallery, Eh?|canadiagallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Justin_trudeau_dope_dude_weed_lmao.png|[[Justin Trudeau|Current General Secretary]] of the Union of Maple Moosefucker Republics (UMMR).
Image:Flag-of-CandEDa.png|[[Lie|The flag of Canadia, And we Love it.]]
Image:Cannaba.jpg|Current flag of Soviet Canuckistan.
Image:Canada40s.PNG|The most recent idea for changes to the Canadian flag
Image:USAandCanadianpolicecar.png|Isn't it funny as shit, You [[American]] [[cops]] suck compare to this bad boy!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Harper cowboy.jpg|Typical [[Conservatism|Canadian]]
Image:Wantsomeofthiscanada.png|What a Canadian looks like.
Image:L 067d4e04bf4f9372876aad087ea07001.jpg| [http://www.myspace.com/photolexx Typical Canadia hipster]
Image:Igloo.jpg|Typical Canadians home
Image:Canuckistan-Dick-Flag.jpg|This will be the new Canædian flag in the future.
Image:CANADIANPM.jpg|The mythical ruler of the Canadian north.More like the Chinks who invaded CHINADA!
Image:Bagmilk1.JPG|In Canædia, milk comes in bags. [[unfunny|More like milk cums in fags]], [[no|amirite?]]
Image:Bagmilk2.JPG|Bagged milk is cheaper, leaving us with more money to buy the things we love. (moar milk)
Image:Bagmilk3.JPG|DELICIOUS MILK. I MUST DRINK IT!
Image:canwoop.jpg|O SHOOOOP-DA-WOOOOP! OUR HOME AND MAH LAZER!
Image:Boardsofcanada.jpg|Something to do with Canadia. And boards. Excellent disc, unfortunately not of Canadia.
Image:Ketchup chips collection.jpg|What's next? Freedom Fries covered with cheese and gravy?
Image:Moderately annoyed canadian.jpg|[[FanFic Critic#The Net Dwellers and Manic Expression|A moderately annoyed Canadian]].
Image:Flag canadia.JPG|The Soviet Canuckistan Flag
File:11Canadaball88.jpg
Image:Japanada.png|For [[Wapanese]]-Canadian
Image:The_canadians.jpg|From a very big "Pro Canadia" campaign in Germany.
Image:SwirlfaceNEW.jpg|[[Swirl face|A typical friendly looking Canadian]].
Image:Canadian_Is_A_Race.JPG|"Canadian" is a race.
Image:nlc007821-v4.jpg|Oh my, how [[Original character|original]].
Image:Beanuglymfer01.jpg|[[Bean|A Canadian emo -- over 9,000 times moar terrifying than the Americunt version]].
File:JustinTrudeugay.png
File:Speaking English.png
Image:Harpermouth.jpg|OM NOM NOM.
File:A Fucking Leaf On Acid.jpg
Image:Bob-and-doug-mckenzie.jpg|Canadia's most influencal citizens
Image:MOMIN.jpg|The great Canadian terrorist.
Image:Canada flag.gif
Image:CanadianPresident-JeanChretien.jpg|This man was once the [[President|Dark Emperor]] of Canædia
Image:Captaincanada.JPG|One of many failed Canædian super heroes.
Image:Fubar.jpg|Canædian beer drinking team.
Image:shat!.jpg|It's his world. We just live in it.
Image:Canadian joke.png|Lol, Canadians love [[hockey]]
Image:ColonelPedobearFINAL.png|In 2010, Canædia became the first country to have Pedobear in a [[Colonel Russell Williams|Colonel format]]
Image:Homeless_crackhead_panhandling.jpg|What the homeless do in London for money. Despite this, he still leads a more meaningful existence than Rootbrian.
Image:Canada_-_Graffiti.jpg
File:CanadianRedMenace.jpg
File:CanadaDeservesNuke.jpg|The mudslimes have a point you know.
File:CanadaWhoWouldWin.jpg|Spoilers: The right side won
File:Canada's Navy.jpg
File:Canadian Military.jpg|Canædia boasts a world-class highly trained military
File:Canadian Navy2.jpg
File:CanadianNavy4448349sufgljdskflhdas.jpg
File:Canadian Threat.png|A fucking leaf
File:Canadian Fat fucker.jpg|Another fuckin leaf that needs to hit the treadmill
File:Canada Suicide Flag.jpg
File:Canadaball.jpg
File:Canadian Cultural Pride.jpg
File:Rake The Leafs.jpg
File:Canadian Anal Sex.png|Canada has the largest number of porn actors, [[Hipster|lumberj]][[Hippie|acks]]<s>NOT</s>
File:Canadian Empire.jpg|Canædian Empire
File:Canadian cops.jpg|Canædian cops are just as brutal as american ones, just in more sinful ways~
File:Day Of The Rake.jpg
File:Canadian.jpg|What the typical Canædian looks like
File:FlagOfCanada.jpg
File:Chineseflags.jpg
Image:Canada_-_Tragedy_In_Eastern_Canada.jpg
File:Kevin_Vickers_kills_a_piece_of_shit.jpg|Canædia can into removing kebab
Image:StephenHarper_OtherFormerEmperor.jpg|Another previous Dark Emperor.
</gallery>}}



=="Best Things About Canædia" Polls For Your Voting Pleasure==
*<s>[http://www.livejournal.com/poll/?id=334847 Best thing about Canædia, it's not the USA.]</s>
*[http://www.livejournal.com/poll/?id=338339 What do you most like about Canædia?]
*[[Moving to Canada|Post-Obama Canædia]]

==See also==
[[File:Soros-and-trudeau.png|right|200px|thumb|[[YGGR|Prepare to be culturally enriched!]]]]
*[[Hockey]]
*[[Trailer Park Boys]]
*[[Cocaine Babe]] Second most famous Canadian after Erotic Joe
*[[Colonel Russell Williams]]
*[[Luka Magnotta]]
*[[Justin Beiber]] - Canædia's toughest guy
*[[Justin Trudeau]] - current virile dictator
*[[Avery Chicoine]]
*[[Telus]]
*[[Ontario]]
*[[Quebec]]

==Other External Links==
[[File:Canada israel kinship postage stamp.jpg|right|thumb|200px|With moose, get joos!]]
*[http://archive.fo/CE4OK Liberal Party of Canædia Tax Fetish Scandal!]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20060617231618/http://tlt.psu.edu/suggestions/international/bylanguage/kannadachart.html Canadia uses a strange alphabet ಠ_ಠ]
*[http://bagslap.com/bag.html Another kind of bagged milk.]
*[http://saskatoonlivescanner.blogspot.com/ Saskatoon Scanner] A guy from [http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Saskatoon,+SK,+Canada&layer=&ie=UTF8&om=1&z=9&ll=52.150765,-106.622314&spn=0.768491,1.867676&t=h Saskatoon, Sasquatcheewank, Canadia]
*[http://canadachan.org/main Canadia Chan]
*[http://archive.fo/C5vWR Queerbec Chan]

 
 
{{4chanarchive|52187497|canadia > all?}}
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{{Timeline|Featured article January 10, [[2006]]|[[Convention]]|[[Canadia]]|[[The War of Northern Aggression]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article July 1, [[2010]]|[[Lexi Bee]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Jewnited States of Americunts]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article October 21 & 22 [[2015]]|[[Netorare]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[David "Walky" Willis]]}}

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