Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Moon Man

2025-06-21T12:13:51Z

Firatpen:

[[File:MoonMan_-_Kill_a_nigga_Tonight.png|350px|link=|center]]

[[File:Moonmankillinniggas.png|thumb]]
[[File:Rapistsoverracists.png|thumb]]
'''Moon Man'''{{Nazi}} is a Comedic and Melodic Rapper famous for producing some of the greatest songs and remixes of the genre. His rapping career started off a rather innocent underground fad, but his likeness to [[McDonald's]] mascots brought him to fame. He received [[trolling]] by black persons with blatantly [[racist]] statements/threats of [[violence]] Most often chanting '''[[Black Lives Matter]]!!''' using a Text2Speech program.
Moon Man has taken a free to distribute, no-license approach relying only on gigs and donations, and even shares back to the community of Moon Man artists. General consensus says it's Moon Man's nonchalant-like delivery that drive it home. Moon Man doesn't target any minority with his rhymes and has a similar comedic approach too all races and genders. In the past, his iconic image also been been hijacked through [[JewTube]] by [[Anonymous]] in their tryhard battle against [[Scientology]], as well as informing [[Chanology]]'s [[newfag]]s how they were [[doing it wrong]].

His 'Free to distribute' ('''s''')hit singles "Notorious KKK" (Too hot for JewTube!,) and "Changes" catapulted him to fame on wholesome, well meaning, internet communities such as 8chan and 4chan's /pol/. Riding on the success, Moon Man released his first full length album "White Power Hip-Hop" LP, WhiteTopia, with the help of the [[YTMND|Moon]][[8chan|Crew]].
Most recently Moon Man has taken too spreading a message of WP, World peace, with people calling him the second coming of Tupac Shakur.

The most influential video, inspiring even many against World Peace to pacify, "Moon Man Reacts to Buzzfeed:"24 Questions Black People Have for White people". With millions of views, and many copycat uploaders, [[Jewtube]] was getting calls from [[Google|Alphabet HQ]], and were forced to remove the content.

This video remains the most popular across the copycats, while in total millions, the current view count never rises more then a couple hundred thousand before they are taken down. These actions by JewTube and Google have lit a bonfire under the World Peace advocates, who have protested by wearing Moon Man's Peace masks( available on [[Amazon]].)

== Triple K Mafia ==
The Triple K Mafia is a rap group consisting of Moon Man and many other beings, but only 4 or 5 worth giving a shit about. Members include:

'''[[Ben Garrison|Uncle Ben]]''' -Owns a rice company and participates in videos every so often, is also a graphic artist for Moonman's Youtube channel Has stated games are on the way-

'''[[Adolf Hitler|Hitler1488]]''' -Part of the klan back around 1940(Exact sources needed), created the Triple K Mafia splinter cell "NSDAP", and gave the ''debated'' Japanese [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorary_Aryan Honorary Aryan Status]. Holds the Triple K Mafia's record, when he did a Speedrun of Europe using his support to get at least 6 million kills.

'''[[Dylann Storm Roof|AKa Dylann Roof]]''' -While living in a ghetto white vs black neighborhood, he was unsure of which white gang too join. After asking his friends their opinions they realized that he was not going too be in their gangs and they took his weapons, Dylann managed too get a weapon and went too perform his initiation ritual at a local opposing gang's black church. He knelt with them, and thought about his plan of attack, the smelt of nigger shit caught his nose and he lost his cool. He was captured by the local negro police, who planned too execute him as a hate crime terrorist too dishearten the white gangs in the area. Moon Man saw this young man's actions, bailed him out of prison, and ascended him. Leading many too wonder the legalities of committing murder then no longer existing solely on this plane. No officials have attempted any action since his ascension.

'''Cloudman''' - A [[Lithuania|Lithuanian]] member of Moon Man's KKK World Peace gang. A very unique personality of soft cloud-like tones.

'''Starman''' - Yet too reveal what human he ascended from

'''[[Anders Behring Breivik|Anders breivik]]''' A politically active member of The klan. Has the second highest KDR in the Triple K Mafia, to be released from his unlawful Norway imprisonment shortly and resume his work.

'''Other "members"'''
[[Image:AudrinaPatridgeNudeAuditionphotos56.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Audrina giving two compelling arguments why she was allowed in the Triple K Mafia]]

'''[[Whore|Audrina Patridge]]''' -While originally being adverse to Moon Man's racist ways, over time she too gave up social justice and began chanting KKK herself. She uses the promise of her pussy to persuade Moon Man to do her bidding, which never works because Moon Man don't play that shit. ''Audrina is a brain dead cum dumpster so she doesn't have a chant of her own''

'''[[Faggot|Charles Moonington]]''' - A crumpet eating faggot. He has no real personality other than being English and worthless as a beta cuck punching bag. He is only kept around to be abused. Charles has a corkscrew penis similar to a pig. His chant is ''CRUMPET, CRUMPET, CRUMPET''
There are others who appear often in different Fan-fictions: ''[[mexico|Pedro the spic]], [[faggot|Creepy Clown Face]], [[Nazi|Hans the German]], [[Shit no one cares about]], etc.'' but no one fucking cares about them because they are [[shit]] and anyone who does is a faggot.

== Triple K Mafia discography ==
Moon Man has dropped full albums, and many bootleggers have made albums.

{|style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{Videoframe|Discography|background-color:#b4b4b4|font-weight:bold;

|<center><youtube>LWaHYLdkuF0</youtube>
;The KKKristmas album '''10/10'''</center>

|<center><youtube>b57fgUPB83M</youtube>
;Whitetopia LP '''6/10''' (poor tempo and synching. This was one of the 1st albums tho)</center>

|<center><youtube>HwQDpeeuPyA</youtube>
;THE LUNITIC LP 2015 '''6.5/10'''(better than Whitetopia, but not by much)</center>

}}|border=#b4b4b4|background=#b4b4b4}}
|}
'''These videos are all down; click one of these links instead or find some shit on [[BitChute]]:
*[https://archive.org/details/straight_outta_ferguson Straight Outta Ferguson]
*[https://archive.org/details/moon-man-occult-2020-album/01+-+Moon+Man+-+Totality+(Skit).mp3 Occult] the NEW album. 10/10 def worth a listen.

You aren't a true self flagellating World Peace advocate until your ears bleed from listening to the entire "Pope sponsored" discography, the good, the bad and the ugly. ALL OF IT!

== Moonverse origins ==
There are multiple Moon Man fansites that contradict each other with the only consistency being Moon Man's hatred of [[niggers]]. One source Claims that there is a rip in time/space resulting in many instances of Moon Man. More reliable sources have pointed out that Moon Man has been around since the crusades, participated in world war two, and that he can fly around the moon on a piano. Which debunks many claims that he is a human, with half-hearted hatred of sub-humans. Despite an outcry of his possible illegal alien status, Moon Man has yet to comment, nor share his birth certificate.

[[File:Moonman IRL.jpg|thumb|left|Moon Man [[IRL]]]]

'''[[McDonald's]] Mascot''' -
Moon Man has been compared too a similar moon headed mascot of McDonald's past, moon Man's relations too this have been quoted personally by Moon Man [[The lulz|Ridiculous]] and quoted [[Media sucking night black cucks|MSNBC's]] Joe "You need too go back too middle school"
In this representation of unknown origins the story goes: While sponsored as a mascot, he made millions to support him and his mother.
However, the Supercuck executives got rid of the only thing at McDonald's that wasn't gayer than faggots at an aids convention.
He came home and saw a negro raping his wife and that caused him to emotionally decide to hate solely Negros. -

Many people use this McDonald's icon in their meme's and Moon Man has given his blessing to those users; however he states he is not responsible for their actions.

== Moon Man guest spots ==
While many people pretend not to be screeching fan girls of Moon Man with equality lies, its a common practice to get [[Jew]] sheKKKles. Everyone knows Moon Man is 100% right about everything he says to the point that even SunMan (a nigger) believes 100% in Moon Man and his sKKKills. Here are a few guest appearances he has made towards his goal of a better world.

<center>{{frame|{{fv|Pope Vids|background-color:#b4b4b4;|font-weight:bold;|
<center>Moon Man and Matty B teach the youth an important message</center>
<youtube>kYIPACRu5Mg</youtube>
|<center>Moon Man and Zyklon Ben team up for a DOOM sequel</center>
<youtube>GeBKNo-Zur8</youtube>
|<center>Moon Man has a guest spot on a lost Sonic episode</center>
<youtube>CuSTB5YzDpU</youtube>
}}|border=#b4b4b4|background=#b4b4b4}}</center>

==Opposition==
'''[[Nigger|Sun Man]]''' - He's a nigger. Every chance Moon Man gets, he attacks this nigger first.-
SunMan's chant is ''N-DOUBLE-A-C-P, N-DOUBLE-A-C-P, N-DOUBLE-A-C-P''

'''[[Google|Alphabet]]''' -Have called Moon Man out for being offensive and done a crappy low effort attempt of oppressing and removing his content from their database.
Has made statements that they "...always plan every action towards unified globalism, and do not take down content simply because they are offensive". Recently Google then enforced their rules of demonetizing
offensive videos, many looked for alternatives too [[JewTube]] and posted videos about their thoughts [[PewDiePie]], [[boogie2988]], and progressive figure of non-offensive premium content [[LeafyIsHere]]. Triple K mafia continues too upload content without [[JewTube]]'s permission, no legal action is planned according too google. See: [[1488]]

'''[[Ku Klux Klan]]''' A remnant of the past, a redneck society, whom raise a banner that lost a long time ago.
Rednecks are always attempting too Merge and take credit for movements they '''failed''' at creating.
They will get on camera unwashed with guns a pot belly, truckers cap and claim they need their
gun rights.
They are cuck ''soiled'' abominations that Moon Man has disavowed.

== The Failed Assassination Attempt on Moon Man ==

[[Image:Moonmanbanned1.PNG|thumb|AT&T's policy on forbidding naughty words.]]
[[Image:Moonmanbanned2.PNG||thumb|Step 1: Type a curse word or "moon man"]]
[[Image:Moonmanbanned3.PNG|thumb|Step 2: Receive b&]]
Recently, AT&T b& users from utilizing their Text2Speech service by adding a list of censored words. [http://public.research.att.com/~ttsweb/tts/demo.php Trying to make file that contains the words "Moon Man" will get you this warning].

{{quote|Error

This error message indicates the submitted text contains objectionable language. While we would rather not pay attention to what people choose to hear, there have been instances of individuals producing extremely offensive audio and distributing it on the web, which by the way is a violation of the usage policy. Please note that these restrictions are imposed by the website, not by the synthesizer. Also note that you can purchase the synthesizer for personal use. See the FAQ page for further details. If you received this message in error please report the problem to the site administrator (with text) via the SEND FEEDBACK button.|}}

ATTENTION: There's an uncensored version of the AT&T Text-to-Speech Demo here: [http://archive.fo/CiPn http://www.wizzardsoftware.com/att_NV_demo.php]

and also here: http://www.naturalreaders.com/index.html

You may now go back to raping niggers. KKK KKK KKK KKK

''' FUN TEXT2SPEECH PHRASES INCLUDE:'''
* Type in shopingcart. He gets very audibly excited when saying SHOPPPing cart.
* Make him speak his native language by typing random shit. jkldseuiivcx ouopiuqw.
* Talk about spicy horse [[penis]] (SunMan hates [[Mr. Hands|spicey horse penis]]).
* [[Rape]] mothers.
* [[lol|lololololololololololol]]
* KKK KKK KKK KKK

==Gallery==
{{cg|Moon Man, Moon Man Can't you see...?|fcgallery1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Moonman icon.png
File:Killniggers.gif
File:Moonman283.png
File:SandyHookMoonMan.png
File:MoonmanLynch.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:1482439471344.jpg|MoonMan is mascot of the 4skins
File:Rwds kike meme gun.jpg
File:SketchMooNmAN.jpg
image:MoonMan - HWNDU.png|MoonMan's [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_m_V3FYcww cameo] in [[He Will Not Divide Us]]
image:MoonmanGTASA.jpg
image:Moonmanrough.jpg
File:PePeBillboard.jpg
image:MoonMan - MoonMan and Ben Garrison.png
image:Moonmankillmeplease.jpg|I heit niggis, buh kill mii pleeese
image:MoonMan - Le reddit meme.png|Le [[Reddit]] [[forced meme|forced]] meme
image:MoonMan - The Simpsons.png|[[The Simpsons]]
image:Man in the moon.png|High School's mugshot
image:MoonMan - Smug MoonMan.png|[[Pepe|Smug MoonMan]]
image:The 4skins by moonmannation-daay6om.jpg
File:D39.gif
image:Moon Man - ｗｈｅｎｕｌｙｎｃｈｄａｔｎｉｇｇａｊｕｓｔｒｉｇｈｔ.jpg
image:Red Panels - moonman-meme-comic.png|[[A challenger appears]]
image:MoonMan - Shooting Niggers.png
File:Bloody MoonMan.jpg
File:GetIn..gif|Come on in!
File:Moonman checkem.jpg|[[Check 'em]]
File:MoonMan - White Uprising.png
File:Moonman - Kill a Nigga Tonight 80s.png
File:Cartoon moonman.png|Moon Man on [[Uncle Grandpa]]
File:MoonMan - ＴＵＸＥＤＯＭＯＯＮ.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
File:Moonman inevitable-moon-horizon.jpg
File:Moonman Stormtrooper (the Star Wars kind).gif
File:Moonman's Sweet ride.gif
File:MoonMan - You gonna be Gassed.png|[[You Gonna Get Raped|You Gonna get Gassed]]
File:Moon man & pepe.jpg
File:MoonMan - President MoonMan.jpg
File:MoonMan - President MoonMan 02.png
File:MoonMan - Triple K Mafia 01.jpg
File:MoonMan - Triple K Mafia 02.png
File:MoonMan - Triple K Mafia Menace.png|Menace (Feat. Triple K Mafia)
File:MoonMan - The Lunatic.jpg|The Lunatic
File:MoonMan - Notorious KKK.png|Notorious [[KKK]]
File:MoonMan - The White Side of the Moon.png|The White side of the Moon
File:MoonMan - Whitetopia.png|[[Zootopia|Whitetopia]]
File:MoonMan - ViKKKtorious.png|viKKKtorious
File:Moon Man - Deluxe EP.jpg|Deluxe EP
File:MoonMan - Eclipse.jpg|Eclipse
File:Moonman - A KKKhristmas KKKarol.jpg|A KKKhristmas KKKarol
File:MoonMan - Back in White.jpg|Back in White
File:MoonMan - The Star, The Cloud and The Moon.jpg|The Star, The Cloud and The Moon
File:MoonMan - Straight Outta Ferguson.jpg|Straight Outta Ferguson
File:Moon Nu-Man.png|Moon [[Nu-male|Nu-Man]]
File:Moonman-globohomo.png|Moon Man in [[Corporate Art Style]].
</gallery>}}

== See Also ==
[[File:MoonMan - Sicker than your average nigger killler.jpg|link=|300px|right]]
*[[8chan]]
*[[Angry Goy II]]
*[[‎Black Lives Splatter]]
*[[pol|/pol/]]
*[[KKK]]
*[[Racism]]
*[[Troll]]
*[[YTMND]]
*[[Johnny Rebel]]
*[[Subservient Chicken]]
*[[McDonald's]]
*[[Pepe]]

== External Links ==
*{{wikilink|Mac_Tonight}}
*[http://wiki.ytmnd.com/Moon_Man YTMND wiki's article on Moon Man (notice how it fails to mention Notorious KKK]
*[http://archive.fo/pvxDu Text to speech]
*[http://rwthwrhwrthwrth.ytmnd.com/ The original Moon Man YTMND]
*<del>[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7AncN4Q841ht9Doapb_yIQ Moon Man Official YouTube channel] DED</del> [https://archive.org/details/moon-man-reacts IA mirror]
*[http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=ytmnd+moon+man&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq= Google search examples of Moon Man]
*[http://moonmankillinniggers.ytmnd.com/ Moon Man can rap]
*[http://www.forum.mooncentral.net/ Mooncentral forums]
*[http://moonkkkrew.forumotion.net/t431-moon-crew-offical-faq-must-read Moon Man and MoonKrew forums]
*[http://8ch.net/moonman/ Image board for those who think /pol/ is a little too PC for the average Moon Man Fan]
*[https://notoriouskkk.ytmnd.com The ORIGINAL Notorious KKK]

{{music}}
{{Rap}}
{{VidLii}}
{{ytmnd}}
{{8chan}}
{{nazis}}
{{trolls}}

File:Rapistsoverracists.png

2025-06-21T12:09:21Z

Firatpen:

User:Firatpen

2025-04-26T02:36:30Z

Firatpen:

{{virgin}}
[[File:Yx_aptem.gif|center|1500px|frameless]]

File:Yx aptem.gif

2025-04-26T02:34:32Z

Firatpen:

Anonymous

2025-03-15T17:55:27Z

Firatpen:

{{info|View the original version of this page [[Anonymous/Original|here]]}}
{{quote|We are faggots.

We are virgins.

We do not get laid.

We do not leave our basements.

Expect us on the internets.}}
[[File:Epicnopicguy_0.01.png|thumb|400px|right|Co-existence has created a fucking monster.]]
[[File:Anonymous twitter.png|thumb|400px|right|{{twitter|@EDdotSE}}, speaking [[truth]].]]

Once upon a time, the '''Anonymous Collective''' was a mighty, anarchistic troll army with strong ties to [[b/|/b/]] that was feared both by the [[internets]] and [[IRL|the world at large]]. Many [[lulz]] were had raiding sites, [[Alexis Pilkington Syndrome|bringing grief to grieving families]], [[Justin Bieber Hates Koreans|tormenting celebrities]], calling out [[feminists]] on their [[bullshit]], and, through it all, zero fucks were given by the [[Anons]]. During this period, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] felt no need to report fully on Anonymous, for no report was necessary. Later in Anonymous' history, they became well known throughout the world as a [[Basement-dwelling|shadowy]], [[Hacktivism|hacktivist]] collective, who, through means of [[DDoS|packets]] (read: [[LOIC]]), protesting, and [[SQL Injection|web defacement]] worked to defend and preserve such ideologies as free speech, freedom of the press, etc. This began to change around 2011, when [[Sabu]], [[Faggot|chief]] of the Anonymous [[Skript kiddie|strong arm division]] known as [[Lulzsec]], ratted out his fellow [[Faggots|members]] to the [[FBI]], and over the next few years most of them all took a ride in the [[party van]]. The slow but inevitable downward spiral of the once feared and respected Anonymous into a bunch of [[whiny]], [[Guy Fawkes|mask wearing]], [[Fedora|fedora-fag]] college students who think they are [[USI|better than everyone else]] and [[No|making a difference in the world]] was underway.

Today, Anonymous mainly consists of the lowest breed of [[Social Justice Warriors]], who are as [[sad]] and [[pathetic]] as any of the writers on [[Jezebel]] or [[Salon]]. Any [[libtard]] who downloads a [[Low Orbit Ion Cannon]] or guesses a poorly contrived [[Twitter]] password thinks of himself as a mighty Anon Warrior while accomplishing nothing of any notoriety or value. Just so that the [[Jews]] at [[Know Your Meme]] cannot claim that they are the only site with "credible information" on the elevation, accomplishments (for better or worse, depending on point of view), and decline of Anonymous, the internet's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|premier source for online information]] presents this article.

==What?==
[[File:Anonymous flowchart.png|thumb|For the reader's convenience]]
The easiest of these puzzles to solve would be: ''"What is Anonymous?"''

First and foremost, Anonymous is NOT a group, or an organization, or coherent collective of any sort. Anonymous is a group of Hack-Fags and Script Kiddies who wanted to troll people and gave us some of the Lulz but in the end turned into neckbeards and triggly puffs using outdated 2006 Emo-Teen Fag agendas of usurping corporation and taking down the Government. Annonymous at large is a group of Script-Kiddies who major Spam system and puts pr0n or some gay shiet on the Interwebz. Encountering any of their supporter or fans you will encounter hispanic or itlalian immigrants who take the few minutes of peace they have between picking strawberries and selling drugs to type comment such as. "OMG WE R HERO" "PLZ TECH ME 2 HACH" " WE R ANUNNYMOUS WE CHANGE DA WORLD.".
===A brief history of Anonymous===
{{right|{{Photoframe|anonsimimgs|width: 200px; border: 1px lightgray solid; float: right; margin-left: 20px|font-weight: bold;
|[[Image:Anonymousbecause1.png|Anonymousbecause1.png|200px]]{{center|Anon 1.0}}
|[[Image:Anonymous_Gradient.png|Anonymous_Gradient.png|200px]]{{center|Anon 2.0}}
}}}}
[[File:Anonymous The Meme Team-s600x750-97878-580.jpg|thumb|<center>Anonymous #2014.</center>‎]]
[[File:Old-anonymous-vs-new-anonymous-2012.png|thumb|In the end, the Moralfags achieved a complete takeover]]

The word "Anonymous" originated from the *[[chan]] scene, which most readers probably know by now. Anonymous simply was anyone choosing to post as Anon on any given imageboard (as there were multiple "big" ones [[2004|back in the day]]).

[[4chan]] was founded on October 3, 2003 and for its first few years was yet another e-base for [[Rozen Maiden|all things weeaboo]] (and was almost completely destroyed by the [[GNAA]] in its early years). Here the first incarnation of Anonymous rose, among the endless posting of [[Desu]] and [[Mai Waifu]]. The GNAA and [[YTMND]] influences brought in a troll spirit to the boards of 4chan, primarily /b/ who began such early "invasions" and trolls such as cyberman and numerous conquests of (at the time) similar web venture [[Gaia Online]].

Such actions became a favorite pastime of /b/, leading to bigger and better trolls to the likeness of [[Pools Closed]] and [[Harry Potter]]. No better man could explain this era of Anon than Phil Shuman in the infamous [[HACKERS ON STEROIDS]] news report (protip: that "former hacker" is [[Alex Wuori]]):

One classic series of raids of this time being those on white nationalist turned informant [[Hal Turner]]. It was then that the moral side of Anonymous and 4chan began to flourish, taking pride in subtly attacking a man for his racist values as oppose to doing it strictly [[for the lulz]].

More troll targets and trolls came and went, including [[Tom Green]] and Girl Talk, [[Wikifur]], and [[Grawp]]. However in the year 2008, in the midst of the [[SOHH]] defacement and [[Epilepsy Forums]] invasion, [[Project Chanology]] began. Such was the birth of the "mainstream anonymous", who worked for good and media attention via protests and firing their [[LOIC]] at seemingly random targets.

Skip ahead to 2010 and the birth of [[AnonOps]], Anonymous is now known by the masses as a force for moral justice through destructive means (and carrying around those stupid [[irony|Guy Fawkes masks]]).

==Who?==
There are many distinct flavors of anons, all of which can be found below.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!Pictural Presentation
!Hangouts
!Pastimes
!Description
|-
|[[File:Benstech newfag.png|150px]] '''<center>[[Newfag|The Newfag]]</center>'''
|[[b|/b/]] [[KYM]] [[I Can Has Cheezburger?|Cheezburger Network]]
|[[Raids]], [[Memes]], [[Cancer]]
|'''The newfag''' has newly discovered the presence of e-culture. They are dumbfounded by such discoveries, and thus can turn in any given direction, but for the time being are known for their abuse of meme-spam and breakings of [[Rules 1 and 2]]. See also: [[Mercedes Haefer]], a prime example of a newfag.
|-
|[[File:Lover_of_mudkips.jpeg|150px]] '''<center>[[Oldfag|The Oldfag]]</center>'''
|[[v|/v/]] [[420chan]] [[7chan]]
|Reminiscing about a fucking internet imageboard like a faggot.
|'''The Oldfag''' was once a newfag, and likely either a moral or /i/ fag, but now has found [[irl|more productive ways of spending their time]] than epic times oti. Probably hangs out on /v/, 7chan, 8chan or other forgotten imageboards discussing how cool /b/ was X many years ago.
|-
|[[File:JewTroll.jpg|150px]] '''<center>[[i/|The /i/nsurgent]]</center>'''
|[[i|/i/]] [[partyvan.info]]
|[[Raids]], [[Spam]], [[Dumbass|Ordering Pizza]]
|'''The /i/nsurgent''' has one purpose: to cause as much grief as possible. Developed from overzealous raid-newfags, they eventually picked up enough [[CSIII]] knowledge to control a [[botnet]] or preform a simple [[crapflood]]. Although /i/ is dead, the /i/nsurgent brand lives on, always willing to completely demolish random furries or youtube vloggers who stand in the way of Anon's e-domination.
|-
|[[File:Occupy-newfag-street7.jpg|150px]] '''<center>[[Moralfag|The Moralfag]]</center>'''
|[[AnonOps]] [[Whatistheplan]]
|[[Occupy|Occupying]], [[STFU|Shouting memes at people]], [[Protest|Protesting]]
|'''The Moralfag''' is the more media-friendly side of the Anonymous legion. Encouraged by self-gratifying pats on the back, the moralfag army continues to operate much like evolved-newfags, only semi-organized. They are incredibly annoying, mostly neckbeard fedora-fags that post on [[Reddit]]. 
[[Faggotry|'''Moral Crusades:''']]
*[[Operation Chanology]] (This was originally meant to be a troll but the stupid dumb newfag scum took it seriously, thus creating the moralfag anon.)
*Taking down [[Wikipedia:Freedom Hosting|Freedom Hosting]] at Tor in "Operation Darknet"
*Fighting ISIS ([https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/anonymous-opparis-hacktivists-publish-noobs-guide-fighting-isis-online-1529173 #OpParis] - in reaction to [[Sandniggers in Paris]])
*Being pro- ([https://redpill.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=%23opnatsoc #OpNatSoc]) or anti-Nazi ([https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/anonymous-spank-naughty-neo-nazis-opblitzkrieg-hack-275692 #OpBlitzKrieg])
|-
|[[File:Misao.png|150px]] '''<center>[[Chan|The Channer]]</center>'''
|/a/ /cg/ /mu/ [[Shit no one cares about|all other non-notable boards]]
|Posting
|'''The *Channer''', while far less notable, remains an important part of the Anonymous backbone. They are, much like Anon himself, one and many, driven without a purpose (other than fapping to hentai on a daily basis) they continuously spend day after day driving the force of the imageboard scene.
|-
|}
{{clear}}

==Why?==
[[file:whydoesnobodytakemeseriouslyanonsheeple.jpg|thumb|right|Newfag Anons have no idea why nobody respects them.]]
In the past, depending on who one asks, they would have received one of two answers regarding the motives of Anonymous. These being either "[[I did it for the lulz]]" or some bullshit about securing a future for generations to come free from oppressive government rule. Because Anon has no face or name, its actions could not be truly justified or understood.

Of course, that was in the past. As noted in the beginning of this article, Anonymous is a sad shell of its former self. The only motivation it has now is to turn the entire internet into a collective [[hugbox]], removing any and all lulz, and making it a [[Safe Space]] that [[Anita Sarkeesian]] and [[Brianna Wu]] would be proud to call home. '''''R.I.P., Old Anonymous.'''''

==Videos==
 
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|AnonymousVideos|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>kkAngvkWVkk</youtube>
;[[Get a dog]] and then [[I got Norton|get Norton]].
|<youtube>AygwaYpinQw</youtube>
;A perfect portrayal of modern Anons.
|<youtube>JuVuOsCyw-Y</youtube>
;The original anonymous.
|<youtube>tWdgAMYjYSs</youtube>
;Ah, the good old days.}}
|}}
}}
 
==Quotes==
<Center>{{morphquote|CC1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|Don't think. If you think, never say. If you say, never write it down. If you write it, don't sign. If you think it, say it, write it and sign it, don't be surprised by what happens to you.|
|Anonymous is one of our generations greatest men, do not insult his benevolence. Whenever one of us strays to the 4chan, it is Anonymous that cleanses our ranks of cancer. We should be worshiping him...in fact, cult time!|Some protest-fag. Huur
|She obviously doesn't know you are a /b/tard then. How would she feel if she knew you were like the rest of us? Yelling AIDS and FUCK for no reason in public places, pretending to hate hardcore music when you know it's all you listen to (fuck you uglyfags) and the fact that at some point, you have considered what it would be like to fuck a horse, or another man (no wimmenz, etc).|Anon, in regards to another anon's "gf".
|So Anonymous are on the case? Then I will sleep peaceably in my bed knowing rough men stand ready to do violence on my behalf.|George Orwell
|Despite all the verbal masturbation anonymous produce, they are really not scary or evil. Anonymous is a Panopticon in reverse. A group where everyone is invisible and appears to speak from the center. Anonymous collectively contains every belief, creed, cultural status, sexuality, fetish, hobby, job, likes, dislikes, (insert any quality), etc. They have collectively experienced every act of violence and kindness. They know every language, probably even the dead ones. They know everything that can be known, and can perpetrate any act a person can. However, because they dwell in a reverse-panopticon, the individual anonymous who "yell" the loudest, most often, or most provocatively will be heard and remembered the most. This is why the anonymous seems so cruel and disgusting. But for every grotesque abomination that posts anonymously, there are probably 100 more who are decent human beings that are just too lazy to post, or are indifferent to the topic at hand.|Anonymous
|Anonymous is difficult to define — less an organized group than a loose affiliation of certain websites.
When enough of these users decide to take action against something or someone, they will do so in the name of Anonymous.
The group has no leaders, no set agenda and has a tendency to focus on soft targets for its own amusement.
|MSN News, '''{{archive|l7sBC|Here}}'''
|A bunch of quirky middle-class kids.|''The Times''
|Yes, I am a Scientologist. Anonymous is harassing us and making us look bad in the media, and after all this criminal activity, all you can say is LULZ?|Mary, a butthurt Scifag commenter on evolvedrational.com.
|Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.|Anonymous
|They are hackers on steroids, treating the Web like a real-life video game, sacking Web sites, creating chaos and disrupting innocent people's lives.|[[Fox News|Fox 11 News]]; ''Moar liek Faux [[Jews]], amirite?''
|Cyberbullies are now meeting in secret and planning their attacks.|[[Fox News|Fox 11 News]]
|This is no different than other forms of organized crime.|[[Fox News|Ron Astor]]
|DESPICABLE, SLIMY, SCUMMY|[[Bill O'Reilly]]
|THE VOICE OF NONE IS STRONGER THAN THE VOICE OF ONE.|Anonymous
|[[Time Cube|ANONYMOUS IS THE CREATOR...THE CREATOR OF LIFE, DEATH, AND NEVER-ENDING HUMILIATION...ANONYMOUS IS KEY, THE ALL MIGHTY, THE HOLY SON...ANONYMOUS IS L.O.L'S...ANONYMOUS IS THE UNEXPECTED EXPECTED. ANONYMOUS IS GOD!!! NOT I, BUT WE ARE ANONYMOUS.]]|ANONYMOUS
|Then Jesus asked him, "What is your name?"
"My name is Legion," he replied, "for we are many."|The Bible, Mark 5:9
|"Anonymous" is the name assigned to a poster who does not enter text in to the [Name] field. Anonymous is not a single person, but rather, represents the collective whole of 4chan. He is a god amongst men. Anonymous invented the Moon, assassinated former President David Palmer, and is also harder than the hardest metal known to man: diamond. His power level is rumored to be over nine thousand. He currently resides with his auntie and uncle in a town called Bel-Air (however, he is West Philadelphia born and raised). He does not forgive.|4chan FAQ}}</center>

==Gallery==
 
{{cg|'''The Anonymous Gallery'''|TheAnonymousGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:LegionFlavors.png|Legion comes in many flavors.
Image:William_Tecumseh_Sherman.png|[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], the spiritual forefather of Anonymous.
Image:Untitled4.png|We hold the power.
Image:YellowVan.png|[[INTERNET_HATE_MACHINE|Anonymous]] did Yellow Van.
Image:AnonymousWatchmen.png|''The Internet's true face''.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:SonofMan.png|Early Anonymous
Image:Anonthenandnow.png|How to tell a "real Anonymous" from raidfags. The former believes he's just like his favorite animu [[Sephiroth|villain]].
Image:TypicalAnon.png|How a [[Fat|typical anonymous]] [[RPG|fantasizes himself]].
Image:Anonymous_-_Fused_Faces.jpg
Image:Teh_bigtoaster.jpg
Image:Killer-keyboard.jpg|What the seasoned anonfag carries into battle
Image:Anonamom.gif
Image:AnonCapitalism.jpg
File:Tumblr-tan and Anon.jpg
File:AnonymousTumblrStanding.png
File:Anonymous2016.jpg
File:4chumblr raep.png
File:Anonymous.png
File:Anonymous10.png
File:Anonymous110.jpg
File:AnonymousBEEAST.jpg
File:AnonymousBEEEEEAST.png
File:AnonymousBankRobber.jpg
File:AnonymousLegionGuessWho.png
File:AnonymousMoodandStatus.jpg
File:AnonymousRiotSquad.jpg
File:Anonymous_Cut_Out_Mask.png
File:Anonymous_Goes_After_Angry_Homo_Kid%27s_Followers.PNG
File:Anonymous_Hope.jpg
File:Anonymous_Legion_Crowd2.jpg
File:Anonymous_Ninja_Thumbnail.png
File:Anonymous_Portal.png
File:Anonymous_Portal_Logo.png
File:Anonymous_Propoganda_by_raithesheep.jpg
File:Anonymous_anarchist.JPG
File:Anonymous_chart_lol.gif
File:Anonymouscard.jpg
File:Anonymousdisplay.jpg
File:Anonymouse.gif
File:Anonymouspvwiki.png
File:Anonymousshirt1.jpg
File:Anonymousshirt2.jpg
File:Anonymouswins.jpg
File:Anonymous-hackers.jpg
File:Anonfaggot.jpg|Generic anon
File:We aer An0nymizz.jpg
</gallery>|}}
 
==See Also==

===Related Articles===

[[Image:wellculturedanon.png|thumb|300px|[[The_Well-Cultured_Anonymous|the ideal]]]]

*[[Anonymous Borg]]
*[[AnonymousThought]]
*[[Basement-dweller]]- Calling yourself a "member" of Anonymous means you are probably also a basement-dweller.
*[[Epic Fail Guy]]
*[[Ernest Peters]] - The victim of a backraid by Anonymous on 30th October 2007.
*[[Facefag]]
*[[Final Boss of the Internet]]
*[[Forced anon]]
*[[HACKERS ON STEROIDS]]
*[[Hal Turner]] - A white supremacist [[lolcow]] who had his online radio show raided by Anonymous.
*[[Hunter Fyffe]] - A fat white kid who Anonymous ordered several pizzas for on Oct. 20th 2009 after he ruined the RIP Kanye West Twitter Prank. Efforts remain to this day to make him suffer
*[[INTERNET HATE MACHINE]]
*[[Internet Vigilante]]
*[[Jake Brahm]] - 4channer who messed with Football.
*[[Marcab Confederacy]]
*[[Operation Madeupname]]
*[[Operation Titstorm]]
*[[Patriotic Nigras]]
*[[Scientology]]
*[[Script kiddie]]
*[[Self aware]]
*[[Serial killer]]
*[[Independence Day Invasion]]
*[[The Caturday Nap]] - October 20th, 2007. The battle of Anonymous vs. Anonymous.
*[[The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006]]
*[[The Internet is serious business]]
*[[The Well-Cultured Anonymous]]
*[[Troll]]
*[[Uncle Anon]]
*[[V]]
*[[William Tecumseh Sherman]]- Spiritual forefather of Anonymous.
*[[ZanderJGavin]] - The Voice of Anonymous.
*[[Avery Chicoine]] - Stalked by Anonymous for being a [[pedo]]phile.

===Unrelated Articles===
*[[Anne Onymous]]
*[[Alcoholics Anonymous]]
*[[John Solomon]] - An Anonymous troll of online comics who became a Namefag to be taken seriously.

==External links==
[[File:Anonymerchant.jpg|thumb|?]]
*{{UkrED|Анонімус|UkrDramatica's article on this}}
*[http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/knucklehead-nabbed-dirty-bomb-hoax Anonymous arrested in the 2006 football bomb scare.]
*[https://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/09/world/09wiki.html?_r=1 Anonymous in the International Herald Tribune].
*{{ytlink|QS2HSI5gbjM|Song for Anonymous}}
*<s>[https://www.imdb.com/SearchPlotWriters?Anonymous%20Anonymous] is very active on [[IMDb]]</s> - 404. Apparently not.
*{{wayback|http://www.townhall.com/columnists/DennisPrager/2007/10/23/internet_anonymity_is_as_destructive_as_internet_porn|20071025053505|title=Another Republican bitching about Anonymous}} (not Fox News)
*{{wayback|http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,141839-c,hackers/article.html|20080325092548|title=Internet Hate Machine vs. Scientology}} This story was all over tech news sites.
*{{wayback|http://digg.com/politics/2008_House_Bill_775_Prohibit_anonymous_blogging|20081005212028|title=Failed Congressional bill to prohibit anonymous posting}}
*{{wayback|http://www.religiousfreedomwatch.org/media-newsroom/behind-the-facade-of-the-%E2%80%9Canonymous%E2%80%9D-hate-group/|20110816071327|title=A site that doesn't know the difference between /b/tards and moralfags}} feel free to fire laz0rz

{{trolls}}
{{anonymous}}
{{Enemy}}
{{top16}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Now May 11, [[2011]]|[[Playstation 3]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Faux News]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 22 and 23, [[2022]]|[[420chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Russia]]}}

[[Category:Anonymous| ]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Internet Superheroes]]

Anonymous

2025-03-15T17:44:52Z

Firatpen:

{{info|View the original version of this page [[Anonymous/Original|here]]}}
{{quote|We are faggots. We are virgins. We do not get laid. We do not leave our basements. Expect us on the internets.}}
[[File:Epicnopicguy_0.01.png|thumb|400px|right|Co-existence has created a fucking monster.]]
[[File:Anonymous twitter.png|thumb|400px|right|{{twitter|@EDdotSE}}, speaking [[truth]].]]

Once upon a time, the '''Anonymous Collective''' was a mighty, anarchistic troll army with strong ties to [[b/|/b/]] that was feared both by the [[internets]] and [[IRL|the world at large]]. Many [[lulz]] were had raiding sites, [[Alexis Pilkington Syndrome|bringing grief to grieving families]], [[Justin Bieber Hates Koreans|tormenting celebrities]], calling out [[feminists]] on their [[bullshit]], and, through it all, zero fucks were given by the [[Anons]]. During this period, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] felt no need to report fully on Anonymous, for no report was necessary. Later in Anonymous' history, they became well known throughout the world as a [[Basement-dwelling|shadowy]], [[Hacktivism|hacktivist]] collective, who, through means of [[DDoS|packets]] (read: [[LOIC]]), protesting, and [[SQL Injection|web defacement]] worked to defend and preserve such ideologies as free speech, freedom of the press, etc. This began to change around 2011, when [[Sabu]], [[Faggot|chief]] of the Anonymous [[Skript kiddie|strong arm division]] known as [[Lulzsec]], ratted out his fellow [[Faggots|members]] to the [[FBI]], and over the next few years most of them all took a ride in the [[party van]]. The slow but inevitable downward spiral of the once feared and respected Anonymous into a bunch of [[whiny]], [[Guy Fawkes|mask wearing]], [[Fedora|fedora-fag]] college students who think they are [[USI|better than everyone else]] and [[No|making a difference in the world]] was underway.

Today, Anonymous mainly consists of the lowest breed of [[Social Justice Warriors]], who are as [[sad]] and [[pathetic]] as any of the writers on [[Jezebel]] or [[Salon]]. Any [[libtard]] who downloads a [[Low Orbit Ion Cannon]] or guesses a poorly contrived [[Twitter]] password thinks of himself as a mighty Anon Warrior while accomplishing nothing of any notoriety or value. Just so that the [[Jews]] at [[Know Your Meme]] cannot claim that they are the only site with "credible information" on the elevation, accomplishments (for better or worse, depending on point of view), and decline of Anonymous, the internet's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|premier source for online information]] presents this article.

==What?==
[[File:Anonymous flowchart.png|thumb|For the reader's convenience]]
The easiest of these puzzles to solve would be: ''"What is Anonymous?"''

First and foremost, Anonymous is NOT a group, or an organization, or coherent collective of any sort. Anonymous is a group of Hack-Fags and Script Kiddies who wanted to troll people and gave us some of the Lulz but in the end turned into neckbeards and triggly puffs using outdated 2006 Emo-Teen Fag agendas of usurping corporation and taking down the Government. Annonymous at large is a group of Script-Kiddies who major Spam system and puts pr0n or some gay shiet on the Interwebz. Encountering any of their supporter or fans you will encounter hispanic or itlalian immigrants who take the few minutes of peace they have between picking strawberries and selling drugs to type comment such as. "OMG WE R HERO" "PLZ TECH ME 2 HACH" " WE R ANUNNYMOUS WE CHANGE DA WORLD.".
===A brief history of Anonymous===
{{right|{{Photoframe|anonsimimgs|width: 200px; border: 1px lightgray solid; float: right; margin-left: 20px|font-weight: bold;
|[[Image:Anonymousbecause1.png|Anonymousbecause1.png|200px]]{{center|Anon 1.0}}
|[[Image:Anonymous_Gradient.png|Anonymous_Gradient.png|200px]]{{center|Anon 2.0}}
}}}}
[[File:Anonymous The Meme Team-s600x750-97878-580.jpg|thumb|<center>Anonymous #2014.</center>‎]]
[[File:Old-anonymous-vs-new-anonymous-2012.png|thumb|In the end, the Moralfags achieved a complete takeover]]

The word "Anonymous" originated from the *[[chan]] scene, which most readers probably know by now. Anonymous simply was anyone choosing to post as Anon on any given imageboard (as there were multiple "big" ones [[2004|back in the day]]).

[[4chan]] was founded on October 3, 2003 and for its first few years was yet another e-base for [[Rozen Maiden|all things weeaboo]] (and was almost completely destroyed by the [[GNAA]] in its early years). Here the first incarnation of Anonymous rose, among the endless posting of [[Desu]] and [[Mai Waifu]]. The GNAA and [[YTMND]] influences brought in a troll spirit to the boards of 4chan, primarily /b/ who began such early "invasions" and trolls such as cyberman and numerous conquests of (at the time) similar web venture [[Gaia Online]].

Such actions became a favorite pastime of /b/, leading to bigger and better trolls to the likeness of [[Pools Closed]] and [[Harry Potter]]. No better man could explain this era of Anon than Phil Shuman in the infamous [[HACKERS ON STEROIDS]] news report (protip: that "former hacker" is [[Alex Wuori]]):

One classic series of raids of this time being those on white nationalist turned informant [[Hal Turner]]. It was then that the moral side of Anonymous and 4chan began to flourish, taking pride in subtly attacking a man for his racist values as oppose to doing it strictly [[for the lulz]].

More troll targets and trolls came and went, including [[Tom Green]] and Girl Talk, [[Wikifur]], and [[Grawp]]. However in the year 2008, in the midst of the [[SOHH]] defacement and [[Epilepsy Forums]] invasion, [[Project Chanology]] began. Such was the birth of the "mainstream anonymous", who worked for good and media attention via protests and firing their [[LOIC]] at seemingly random targets.

Skip ahead to 2010 and the birth of [[AnonOps]], Anonymous is now known by the masses as a force for moral justice through destructive means (and carrying around those stupid [[irony|Guy Fawkes masks]]).

==Who?==
There are many distinct flavors of anons, all of which can be found below.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!Pictural Presentation
!Hangouts
!Pastimes
!Description
|-
|[[File:Benstech newfag.png|150px]] '''<center>[[Newfag|The Newfag]]</center>'''
|[[b|/b/]] [[KYM]] [[I Can Has Cheezburger?|Cheezburger Network]]
|[[Raids]], [[Memes]], [[Cancer]]
|'''The newfag''' has newly discovered the presence of e-culture. They are dumbfounded by such discoveries, and thus can turn in any given direction, but for the time being are known for their abuse of meme-spam and breakings of [[Rules 1 and 2]]. See also: [[Mercedes Haefer]], a prime example of a newfag.
|-
|[[File:Lover_of_mudkips.jpeg|150px]] '''<center>[[Oldfag|The Oldfag]]</center>'''
|[[v|/v/]] [[420chan]] [[7chan]]
|Reminiscing about a fucking internet imageboard like a faggot.
|'''The Oldfag''' was once a newfag, and likely either a moral or /i/ fag, but now has found [[irl|more productive ways of spending their time]] than epic times oti. Probably hangs out on /v/, 7chan, 8chan or other forgotten imageboards discussing how cool /b/ was X many years ago.
|-
|[[File:JewTroll.jpg|150px]] '''<center>[[i/|The /i/nsurgent]]</center>'''
|[[i|/i/]] [[partyvan.info]]
|[[Raids]], [[Spam]], [[Dumbass|Ordering Pizza]]
|'''The /i/nsurgent''' has one purpose: to cause as much grief as possible. Developed from overzealous raid-newfags, they eventually picked up enough [[CSIII]] knowledge to control a [[botnet]] or preform a simple [[crapflood]]. Although /i/ is dead, the /i/nsurgent brand lives on, always willing to completely demolish random furries or youtube vloggers who stand in the way of Anon's e-domination.
|-
|[[File:Occupy-newfag-street7.jpg|150px]] '''<center>[[Moralfag|The Moralfag]]</center>'''
|[[AnonOps]] [[Whatistheplan]]
|[[Occupy|Occupying]], [[STFU|Shouting memes at people]], [[Protest|Protesting]]
|'''The Moralfag''' is the more media-friendly side of the Anonymous legion. Encouraged by self-gratifying pats on the back, the moralfag army continues to operate much like evolved-newfags, only semi-organized. They are incredibly annoying, mostly neckbeard fedora-fags that post on [[Reddit]]. 
[[Faggotry|'''Moral Crusades:''']]
*[[Operation Chanology]] (This was originally meant to be a troll but the stupid dumb newfag scum took it seriously, thus creating the moralfag anon.)
*Taking down [[Wikipedia:Freedom Hosting|Freedom Hosting]] at Tor in "Operation Darknet"
*Fighting ISIS ([https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/anonymous-opparis-hacktivists-publish-noobs-guide-fighting-isis-online-1529173 #OpParis] - in reaction to [[Sandniggers in Paris]])
*Being pro- ([https://redpill.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=%23opnatsoc #OpNatSoc]) or anti-Nazi ([https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/anonymous-spank-naughty-neo-nazis-opblitzkrieg-hack-275692 #OpBlitzKrieg])
|-
|[[File:Misao.png|150px]] '''<center>[[Chan|The Channer]]</center>'''
|/a/ /cg/ /mu/ [[Shit no one cares about|all other non-notable boards]]
|Posting
|'''The *Channer''', while far less notable, remains an important part of the Anonymous backbone. They are, much like Anon himself, one and many, driven without a purpose (other than fapping to hentai on a daily basis) they continuously spend day after day driving the force of the imageboard scene.
|-
|}
{{clear}}

==Why?==
[[file:whydoesnobodytakemeseriouslyanonsheeple.jpg|thumb|right|Newfag Anons have no idea why nobody respects them.]]
In the past, depending on who one asks, they would have received one of two answers regarding the motives of Anonymous. These being either "[[I did it for the lulz]]" or some bullshit about securing a future for generations to come free from oppressive government rule. Because Anon has no face or name, its actions could not be truly justified or understood.

Of course, that was in the past. As noted in the beginning of this article, Anonymous is a sad shell of its former self. The only motivation it has now is to turn the entire internet into a collective [[hugbox]], removing any and all lulz, and making it a [[Safe Space]] that [[Anita Sarkeesian]] and [[Brianna Wu]] would be proud to call home. '''''R.I.P., Old Anonymous.'''''

==Videos==
 
{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|AnonymousVideos|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>kkAngvkWVkk</youtube>
;[[Get a dog]] and then [[I got Norton|get Norton]].
|<youtube>AygwaYpinQw</youtube>
;A perfect portrayal of modern Anons.
|<youtube>JuVuOsCyw-Y</youtube>
;The original anonymous.
|<youtube>tWdgAMYjYSs</youtube>
;Ah, the good old days.}}
|}}
}}
 
==Quotes==
<Center>{{morphquote|CC1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|Don't think. If you think, never say. If you say, never write it down. If you write it, don't sign. If you think it, say it, write it and sign it, don't be surprised by what happens to you.|
|Anonymous is one of our generations greatest men, do not insult his benevolence. Whenever one of us strays to the 4chan, it is Anonymous that cleanses our ranks of cancer. We should be worshiping him...in fact, cult time!|Some protest-fag. Huur
|She obviously doesn't know you are a /b/tard then. How would she feel if she knew you were like the rest of us? Yelling AIDS and FUCK for no reason in public places, pretending to hate hardcore music when you know it's all you listen to (fuck you uglyfags) and the fact that at some point, you have considered what it would be like to fuck a horse, or another man (no wimmenz, etc).|Anon, in regards to another anon's "gf".
|So Anonymous are on the case? Then I will sleep peaceably in my bed knowing rough men stand ready to do violence on my behalf.|George Orwell
|Despite all the verbal masturbation anonymous produce, they are really not scary or evil. Anonymous is a Panopticon in reverse. A group where everyone is invisible and appears to speak from the center. Anonymous collectively contains every belief, creed, cultural status, sexuality, fetish, hobby, job, likes, dislikes, (insert any quality), etc. They have collectively experienced every act of violence and kindness. They know every language, probably even the dead ones. They know everything that can be known, and can perpetrate any act a person can. However, because they dwell in a reverse-panopticon, the individual anonymous who "yell" the loudest, most often, or most provocatively will be heard and remembered the most. This is why the anonymous seems so cruel and disgusting. But for every grotesque abomination that posts anonymously, there are probably 100 more who are decent human beings that are just too lazy to post, or are indifferent to the topic at hand.|Anonymous
|Anonymous is difficult to define — less an organized group than a loose affiliation of certain websites.
When enough of these users decide to take action against something or someone, they will do so in the name of Anonymous.
The group has no leaders, no set agenda and has a tendency to focus on soft targets for its own amusement.
|MSN News, '''{{archive|l7sBC|Here}}'''
|A bunch of quirky middle-class kids.|''The Times''
|Yes, I am a Scientologist. Anonymous is harassing us and making us look bad in the media, and after all this criminal activity, all you can say is LULZ?|Mary, a butthurt Scifag commenter on evolvedrational.com.
|Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.|Anonymous
|They are hackers on steroids, treating the Web like a real-life video game, sacking Web sites, creating chaos and disrupting innocent people's lives.|[[Fox News|Fox 11 News]]; ''Moar liek Faux [[Jews]], amirite?''
|Cyberbullies are now meeting in secret and planning their attacks.|[[Fox News|Fox 11 News]]
|This is no different than other forms of organized crime.|[[Fox News|Ron Astor]]
|DESPICABLE, SLIMY, SCUMMY|[[Bill O'Reilly]]
|THE VOICE OF NONE IS STRONGER THAN THE VOICE OF ONE.|Anonymous
|[[Time Cube|ANONYMOUS IS THE CREATOR...THE CREATOR OF LIFE, DEATH, AND NEVER-ENDING HUMILIATION...ANONYMOUS IS KEY, THE ALL MIGHTY, THE HOLY SON...ANONYMOUS IS L.O.L'S...ANONYMOUS IS THE UNEXPECTED EXPECTED. ANONYMOUS IS GOD!!! NOT I, BUT WE ARE ANONYMOUS.]]|ANONYMOUS
|Then Jesus asked him, "What is your name?"
"My name is Legion," he replied, "for we are many."|The Bible, Mark 5:9
|"Anonymous" is the name assigned to a poster who does not enter text in to the [Name] field. Anonymous is not a single person, but rather, represents the collective whole of 4chan. He is a god amongst men. Anonymous invented the Moon, assassinated former President David Palmer, and is also harder than the hardest metal known to man: diamond. His power level is rumored to be over nine thousand. He currently resides with his auntie and uncle in a town called Bel-Air (however, he is West Philadelphia born and raised). He does not forgive.|4chan FAQ}}</center>

==Gallery==
 
{{cg|'''The Anonymous Gallery'''|TheAnonymousGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:LegionFlavors.png|Legion comes in many flavors.
Image:William_Tecumseh_Sherman.png|[[William Tecumseh Sherman]], the spiritual forefather of Anonymous.
Image:Untitled4.png|We hold the power.
Image:YellowVan.png|[[INTERNET_HATE_MACHINE|Anonymous]] did Yellow Van.
Image:AnonymousWatchmen.png|''The Internet's true face''.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:SonofMan.png|Early Anonymous
Image:Anonthenandnow.png|How to tell a "real Anonymous" from raidfags. The former believes he's just like his favorite animu [[Sephiroth|villain]].
Image:TypicalAnon.png|How a [[Fat|typical anonymous]] [[RPG|fantasizes himself]].
Image:Anonymous_-_Fused_Faces.jpg
Image:Teh_bigtoaster.jpg
Image:Killer-keyboard.jpg|What the seasoned anonfag carries into battle
Image:Anonamom.gif
Image:AnonCapitalism.jpg
File:Tumblr-tan and Anon.jpg
File:AnonymousTumblrStanding.png
File:Anonymous2016.jpg
File:4chumblr raep.png
File:Anonymous.png
File:Anonymous10.png
File:Anonymous110.jpg
File:AnonymousBEEAST.jpg
File:AnonymousBEEEEEAST.png
File:AnonymousBankRobber.jpg
File:AnonymousLegionGuessWho.png
File:AnonymousMoodandStatus.jpg
File:AnonymousRiotSquad.jpg
File:Anonymous_Cut_Out_Mask.png
File:Anonymous_Goes_After_Angry_Homo_Kid%27s_Followers.PNG
File:Anonymous_Hope.jpg
File:Anonymous_Legion_Crowd2.jpg
File:Anonymous_Ninja_Thumbnail.png
File:Anonymous_Portal.png
File:Anonymous_Portal_Logo.png
File:Anonymous_Propoganda_by_raithesheep.jpg
File:Anonymous_anarchist.JPG
File:Anonymous_chart_lol.gif
File:Anonymouscard.jpg
File:Anonymousdisplay.jpg
File:Anonymouse.gif
File:Anonymouspvwiki.png
File:Anonymousshirt1.jpg
File:Anonymousshirt2.jpg
File:Anonymouswins.jpg
File:Anonymous-hackers.jpg
File:Anonfaggot.jpg|Generic anon
File:We aer An0nymizz.jpg
</gallery>|}}
 
==See Also==

===Related Articles===

[[Image:wellculturedanon.png|thumb|300px|[[The_Well-Cultured_Anonymous|the ideal]]]]

*[[Anonymous Borg]]
*[[AnonymousThought]]
*[[Basement-dweller]]- Calling yourself a "member" of Anonymous means you are probably also a basement-dweller.
*[[Epic Fail Guy]]
*[[Ernest Peters]] - The victim of a backraid by Anonymous on 30th October 2007.
*[[Facefag]]
*[[Final Boss of the Internet]]
*[[Forced anon]]
*[[HACKERS ON STEROIDS]]
*[[Hal Turner]] - A white supremacist [[lolcow]] who had his online radio show raided by Anonymous.
*[[Hunter Fyffe]] - A fat white kid who Anonymous ordered several pizzas for on Oct. 20th 2009 after he ruined the RIP Kanye West Twitter Prank. Efforts remain to this day to make him suffer
*[[INTERNET HATE MACHINE]]
*[[Internet Vigilante]]
*[[Jake Brahm]] - 4channer who messed with Football.
*[[Marcab Confederacy]]
*[[Operation Madeupname]]
*[[Operation Titstorm]]
*[[Patriotic Nigras]]
*[[Scientology]]
*[[Script kiddie]]
*[[Self aware]]
*[[Serial killer]]
*[[Independence Day Invasion]]
*[[The Caturday Nap]] - October 20th, 2007. The battle of Anonymous vs. Anonymous.
*[[The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006]]
*[[The Internet is serious business]]
*[[The Well-Cultured Anonymous]]
*[[Troll]]
*[[Uncle Anon]]
*[[V]]
*[[William Tecumseh Sherman]]- Spiritual forefather of Anonymous.
*[[ZanderJGavin]] - The Voice of Anonymous.
*[[Avery Chicoine]] - Stalked by Anonymous for being a [[pedo]]phile.

===Unrelated Articles===
*[[Anne Onymous]]
*[[Alcoholics Anonymous]]
*[[John Solomon]] - An Anonymous troll of online comics who became a Namefag to be taken seriously.

==External links==
[[File:Anonymerchant.jpg|thumb|?]]
*{{UkrED|Анонімус|UkrDramatica's article on this}}
*[http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/knucklehead-nabbed-dirty-bomb-hoax Anonymous arrested in the 2006 football bomb scare.]
*[https://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/09/world/09wiki.html?_r=1 Anonymous in the International Herald Tribune].
*{{ytlink|QS2HSI5gbjM|Song for Anonymous}}
*<s>[https://www.imdb.com/SearchPlotWriters?Anonymous%20Anonymous] is very active on [[IMDb]]</s> - 404. Apparently not.
*{{wayback|http://www.townhall.com/columnists/DennisPrager/2007/10/23/internet_anonymity_is_as_destructive_as_internet_porn|20071025053505|title=Another Republican bitching about Anonymous}} (not Fox News)
*{{wayback|http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,141839-c,hackers/article.html|20080325092548|title=Internet Hate Machine vs. Scientology}} This story was all over tech news sites.
*{{wayback|http://digg.com/politics/2008_House_Bill_775_Prohibit_anonymous_blogging|20081005212028|title=Failed Congressional bill to prohibit anonymous posting}}
*{{wayback|http://www.religiousfreedomwatch.org/media-newsroom/behind-the-facade-of-the-%E2%80%9Canonymous%E2%80%9D-hate-group/|20110816071327|title=A site that doesn't know the difference between /b/tards and moralfags}} feel free to fire laz0rz

{{trolls}}
{{anonymous}}
{{Enemy}}
{{top16}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Now May 11, [[2011]]|[[Playstation 3]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Faux News]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 22 and 23, [[2022]]|[[420chan]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Russia]]}}

[[Category:Anonymous| ]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Internet Superheroes]]

Lolita

2025-01-31T12:47:34Z

Firatpen:

{{corner|br|[[Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|100px]]}}

[[File:Amazon book review nabakov lolita.jpg|thumb|In a nutshell]]
[[Image:Missmeganmaude.jpg|thumb|A typical loli.]]

'''Lolita''' is an [[allegedly]] fictional book about a [[pedophile|man]] and his relationship with a young girl who [[lie|made the first move in a sexual situation]].

In the book, a [[pedophile]] marries an [[ugly]] woman so he can [[rape]] her daughter; however, before he does so the wife dies by [[murder|accident]]. The [[pedophile]] proceeds to [[stick it in her pooper]] while [[do a barrel roll|doing barrel rolls.]] Sadly for him, Chris Hansen asks him to [[Chris Hansen|take a seat over there]] and while he is sitting another pedophile steals the loli. Though he feels almost as though he had [[an hero|lost his ipod]], he manages eventually to find and [[pwn|kill]] the other pedo. Shame the girl's by now legal.

Until this book was published, Lolita was a popular name for girls. NO LONGER. And [[Gray area|nobody]] [[Shit nobody cares about|knows]] [[A bit sus|what]] [[Murder|happened]] to the Lolitas that were around when this book was published.

Lolita also refers to any young girl who wants [[sex|it]], and is the root word for [[loli]] and [[lolicon]].

[[CP|Teen modelling sites]] often draw upon Lolita for inspiration.

==Quotes From the [[Book]]==
<center>{{morphquote|lolitaquotes|background-color: white;|font-weight: normal;
|Lolita, light of my life, [[pedophile|fire of my loins]]. My sin, my soul.|Bringing a new meaning to the term [[kill it with fire]]

|She would try to relieve the pain of love by first roughly rubbing her dry lips against mine; then my darling would draw away with a nervous toss of her hair, and then again come darkly near and let me feed on her open mouth, while with a generosity that was ready to offer her everything, my heart, my throat, my entrails, I gave her to hold in her awkward fist the scepter of my passion. |More [[verbose]] than your average [[fanfic]]

|Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as "nymphets." |I swear I thought she was [[14/f/cali|14]].

|He was naked and goatish under his robe, and I felt suffocated as he rolled over me. I rolled over him. We rolled over me. They rolled over him. We rolled over us. |Not surprisingly [[faggotry]] follows.

}}</center>

==See Also==
*[[Lolicon]]
*[[CP]]
*[[Prostatots]]
*[[Toddlercon]]

{{Pedoseries}}
{{Books}}

Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Quote of the Now

2024-12-26T20:36:42Z

Firatpen:

<div style="float:right;">'''Archives:''' 
[[Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Quote of the Now/Archive1|1]] •
[[Encyclopedia Dramatica talk:Quote of the Now/Archive2|2]]
</div>

Suggest Quote of the Nows here...GO!

<div style="color: #F00; font-size: 30px; text-decoration: blink;padding-top:0.5em;">v How to make a suggestion v</div>
#Make sure your quote is recent, [[lulzy]], and [[Internet Relevant|relevant]] to ED
#Log-in
#'''[https://encyclopediadramatica.online/index.php?title=Encyclopedia_Dramatica_talk:Quote_of_the_Now&action=edit Click here to start a new section at the bottom of this page]'''
#Type the quoted person's name or a short description of the quote in the Subject/headline box
#Type the actual quote in "quotation marks," followed by the name of the person who said it, and a link to where you found the quote at
#'''Sign your motherfucking post''' with four tildes (seriously, it's just <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>)
#Press the "SHOW PREVIEW" button so you can make sure you didn't fuck up
#Save Page
#?????
#PROFIT!!!!

<div style="font-size:30px;color:red;text-decoration:blink;padding-bottom:0.5em;">^ READ THIS SHIT ^</div>

==[[WingsofRedemption]]==
"Consequences have actions pimp" - Jordie "Richard" Jordan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMJfECDok3M& [[User:Little Dark Age|Little Dark Age]] ([[User talk:Little Dark Age|talk]]) 10:07, 17 August 2021 (EDT)

==[[The Funny]]==
"<nowiki>{{Template:Pain}}</nowiki>" - me (me)
[[User:Will|Will]] ([[User talk:Will|talk]]) 02:57, 22 November 2021 (EST)

==[[ED]]==
"Encyclopedia Dramatica:Quote of the Now/July 27, 2022" - Encyclopedia Dramatica

[[User:Boibob|Boibob]] ([[User talk:Boibob|talk]]) 05:26, 29 July 2022 (EDT)

== #PittieNation ==

{{quote|I DONT FUCKING CARE. I HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT BE F UCKING HARASSED ON MY OWN PROPERTY. TRAIN YOUR FUCKING DOGS ITS NOT HARD YOU DUMB FAT NIGGER|[[User:Baka|Baka]]|[https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.online/threads/i-got-into-a-screaming-match-with-my-neighbor.4327/post-151834 after being barked at by shitbulls for like 45 minutes straight]}} [[User:Haha Yes|Haha Yes]] ([[User talk:Haha Yes|talk]]) 15:31, 17 August 2022 (EDT)
:You know you're an EDitor and can therefore set the QOTN, right? [[User:MarioMario456|MarioMario456]] ([[User talk:MarioMario456|Talk to me]] | [[Special:Contributions/MarioMario456|My contributions]]) 16:42, 17 August 2022 (EDT)
Didn't notice. Thanks for the heads up. [[User:Haha Yes|Haha Yes]] ([[User talk:Haha Yes|talk]]) 17:30, 17 August 2022 (EDT)

== Quoting the forums? Really? ==

Half those retards don't even edit and it's just a bad look.
In a perfect world the quote should pertain to [[Keffals]]/grooming/[[Phobos|trannies]], etc since it's kind of the whole big shitshow going on across the entire internet and the epicenter of the KF bullshit, especially with [[dying alone|notable]] [[boring|outspoken]] hypocritical [[faggots]] like [[Kirtaner]], [[Hotwheels]], and [[kill yourself|fucking]] [https://archive.ph/DeKxt Phobos] running their aids ridden mouths.

fwiw I agree with weezus but that doesn't make it any less cringe.

--[[Homicide|Homicide]] [[Image:Michigan j kip.gif|50px|link=User_Talk:Homicide]] 14:39, 27 August 2022 (EDT)

==[[Keffals]]==
Twitter users are a perfect example of what's wrong with [[keffals|society]].

[[User:Kurinjimeeka|Kurinjimeeka]] ([[User talk:Kurinjimeeka|talk]]) 03:37, 30 August 2022 (EDT)

== Mistyears ==
{{quote|Imagine if men had to breastfeed babies using their cocks|Some retarded [[twitter]] user's deleted tweet}}

==[[Vaush]]==
{{quote|We've all jerked it to loli at some point or another|Vaush}}
[[User:Virtualromanity|Virtualromanity]] ([[User talk:Virtualromanity|talk]]) 23:11, 10 November 2023 (EST)
[[User:BigMeatHuggins22|'''BigMeat''''''Huggins]] 19:18, 28 November 2022 (EST)

== LikeICare ==

"It took you an hour to do this?"

[[User:Dr Jej|Dr Jej]] ([[User talk:Dr Jej|talk]]) 17:10, 2 March 2024 (EST)Dr jej

== Mr enter ==

{{Quote|I put it simply: "Perfect Chemistry" is the best modern SpongeBob Episode. And you know the funniest thing about it? It is entirely made out of fart jokes!|[[MrEnter]]}}

[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]], thursday June 13th 2:34 PM

==[[Meepsheep]]==
{{quote|girlvinyl did nothing wrong|Meepsheep}}
[[User:Macao|Macao]] ([[User talk:Macao|talk]])

==[[User:Macao|Macao]]==
{{quote|all women on ed have dicks|Macao}}
[[User:Macao|Macao]] ([[User talk:Macao|talk]])

== Historical Accuracy! ==

I can add details to some quotes.. not just who said it but when and what's reason behind them.... [[User:GARAGE|GARAGE]] ([[User talk:GARAGE|talk]]) 01:21, 16 July 2024 (UTC)

== VideoGameDunkey ==
{{quote|You are nitpicking and biased, I win, bye bye.|[[VideoGameDunkey]]}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]]

== boogie meltdown ==
{{quote|I hate being alive, I hate being alive. I hate breathing I hate being alive. I'm in tremendous pain, I'm in tremendous pain. help me help me help me. I'm in so much pain I'm in so much pain I'm in so much pain.|[[Boogie2988]]}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]] 1:25 29 august 2024.

== tranny chris tyson ==
{{Quote|nothing gets my knob a cranking like some loli|Chris Tyson}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]]

== AF ==
{{Quote|Honestly, dating women is gay. Having sex with women is gay.|[[Nick Fuentes]]}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]] 8:24 PM august 29 2024.

== true tbh ==
{{Quote|Most arguments between extremists on the internet are straight pedos versus gay pedos.|Synthetic man}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]] 9:5 PM august 31 2024.

== George Floyd ==
{{Quote|Our young generation is clearly lost, man.|[[George Floyd]]}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]] 1:08 AM September 1 2024.

== Null ==
{{quote| Alright, time to jerk off to some neko shota.|[[Null]]}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]] 1:15 AM September 1 2024.

== Randy Stair ==
{{Quote|I can almost guarantee you that Donald Trump will be assassinated. Maybe not this year, but in the near future.|[[Randy Robert Stair]]}}
[[User:Snuegliffer returns|Snuegliffer returns]] 1:21 AM September 1 2024.

== Amazing Atheist ==
{{Quote|If all of these people died, would the world be a better place? Multiple choice question: A) Yes, B) Fuck yes, C) Hell the fuck yes, D) All of the above. I'm going with D.|[[The Amazing Atheist|TJ Kirk]]}}
[[User:Firatpen|Firatpen]] ([[User talk:Firatpen|talk]]) 20:36, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Bashar al-Assad

2024-12-23T14:35:48Z

Firatpen:

[[File:Assad underwater.jpg|center|600px]]
{{Perfect Rainbowtiny|CANT MOSSAD THE ASSAD}}
{{Spoilers|REBELS HAD REACHED INTO DAMASCUS AND ASSAD IS ON THE RUN}}
{{Achtung|IT'S OVER}}
[[File:Bashar al-Assad in Russia (2015-10-21) 08.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Al Bundy?]]
[[File:Assad skinny.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Faggot|Fuckable]]]]

'''Bashar Hafez al-Assad''' or in English '''Basher Del Asshat''' was born on the [[Muslim|Moslem Holiday]] of [[9/11]] on September 11, 1965. Bashar was the [[President|Rightful leader]] of [[Syria]] who was elected in a free, democratic Syrian election on 17 July 2000. He was able to win the office of Syrian President-for-life in a landslide victory with 88% of the vote. A Puppet leader of the Ba'ath Party and ardent supporter of Islamic Terrorist Groups, Al-Assad screamed the loudest for the destruction of '''[[America|THE GREAT SATAN]]'''. This was until 2012 when he started crying for fellow [[terrorist|Muslim]] U.S. President Barack [[Obama]] to help him maintain his aristocratic lifestyle of elected king and his favored position as King Of Oppression, [[lulz|Violator of Human Rights]], Keeping [[Wimmins]] Barefoot And In The Kitchen and being that Pimp Daddy King that Bitch Smacks anyone that has an opposing political opinion with a long prison sentence. Everything the [[Obama]] administration stood for. 

In December 8, 2024, after nearly 14 years of buttfuckery of civil war, he was [[BTFO]]'ed by rebels.

== The Begining Of His Political Career: Bashar Murders His Brother ==

[[File:Basil al-Assad.jpg|thumb|right|250px|With pics, the motive for murder becomes obvious. Basel or Bashar the No-chinned dork?]]

[[File:Assad sexy.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Emo|I'm sexy and I know it]]]]

Unable to live up to his older brother who, like all the world's royalty such as Prince Charles of England, was a decorated hero in the Syrian Military without having ever fired a weapon or been in a battle - Bashar understood that he could never live up to his father's and the people of Syria's favor of his older, better, and groomed for President/Dictator brother.
Feeling that he was the one better suited to grinding the people of Syria under his heel and into a never ending circle of eternal servitude and poverty. Not being able to stand the sight of blood and Syrian soldiers giving him the nickname of '''Frank Burns''' for his buther like Army Surgeon skills and 100% mortality rate Bashar realised he wasn't cut out to be a Doctor. It was, perhaps being told again and again, ''"You Suck"'' by his contemporary doctors that Bashar felt it was time for a change of occupation and decided on the course of action of assassinating his brother. 
On 21 January 1994, Bashar [[lie|feigned]] an emergency that had his Brother speeding in the fog, in the early morning hours to Damascus International Airport for a flight to Germany on the Syrian Presidential Jet. As per his plan, Bashar had convinced his brother Basel to drive because after the assassin's car had [[dead|struck Basel's]] car on the driver's side and at a rather high speed as well, Basel's chauffeur was found alive in the back seat of the car, wearing his seatbelt, while the driver's side seat belts had been removed along with the driver's side airbag . 
Like all [[Leftard|Liberal]] [[politics|Politicians]] to come before him, Bashar cried the hardest over his brother's death and ordered that the entire Country of Syria be shut down and for 3 days as the country mourned Basel's death. 
Following Basel's death a [[meme|popular slogan]] was started: '''Basel, the man we wanted: Bashar, the leftovers no one wants.'''

== Obama Hooks His Moslem Niggas Up ==

[[File:MAD-Magazine-Obama-Assad-Tale-of-Tape.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]

Being a fellow [[Terrorist|Moslem]] and friend to all rag-heads, terrorists, [[vagina]] mutilators and [[Islam|Islamic]] fundamentalism, [[Obama]] conviently looked the other way to Syrian war crimes and all other violations of human rights. 
For all Obama and [[Clinton|Hillary's]] complaints about our [[Trump|great lord and god emperor]] receiving aid from the [[Russia|Russians]], Obama did his best to aid them and Iran through his inaction and indifferance when it came to Syria. Obama's refusal to interfear did nothing but discredit [[Syria]] as a state and allowed for Islamic extremists like [[ISIS]] to become established and gain power. More so, Obama's indifferent refusal to enforce threats he had previously made regarding Syrian war crimes led to an escalation in human rights violations such as the [[hoax|alledged]] use of illegal chemical attacks against civilians both, Obama's inaction and ISIS gaining influence, of which started the overflow of Syrian refugees into Europe and [[America]] that Obama used as a ruse to hide his lack of involvement in Syria by calling [[Trump|President Trump]] xenophobic and racist when he spoke the people's concerns and told these refugees that nobody wanted them stinking up their neighborhoods, bringing terrorism to U.S. shores and they should all go back home because we already have enough convience store employees and McDonalds drive-thru cashiers that are incapable of speaking understandable English through an outdoor speaker. 
Despite all these failings with his policies regarding Syria, Obama has gone on record saying that he is ''"very proud"'' of the outcome in Syria which includes the deaths of over 3,000 civilians because he refused to honor his own ''"Ultimatiums"'' regarding chemical weapons and allowed Assad to escape responsability. 
As experts in Middle East politics put it so eloquently, ''Obama's legacy will forever be remembered for destabilizing, in a matter of weeks, what the free world has spent the last 75 years working their asses off to stabilize.'' 

== Assad Kneels Before Trump ==
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery class="middle"; heights="400px" widths="230px">
File:Executive Order 13769.pdf.jpg|Executive order 13769
</gallery>|border=black|background=white}}
</center>
 

Backing Executive Order 13769, or popularly known by [[Leftards]] as the Moslem ban, which mandates refugees from Syria be indefinately suspended from being allowed to resettle in the [[United States]] on a permanent or temporary basis, Assad supported the measure by going on record saying, ''"The executive order is written to be against terrorists that want to infiltrate and wage war against the West. It is [[Trump|the great god emperor of the West's]] intention to protect his people and to keep these people from coming into his country to do harm to his people. As a leader, I respect these measures. I don't see this order as being against the Syrian People or Moslems in general but as looking to protect them because if terrorist were to come in under the guise as being refugees and did great harm to the West like they did on [[9/11]], they would only further harm Western/Islamic relations that have been already damaged to a near, unrepairable extent by terrorists"'' 

== Syria And Russian Relations ==

<center><youtube>XPstRM77wMI</youtube></center>

{{Quote|If you look really hard, you can guess the exact second Assad started sucking Putin's dick}}

[[File:Putin-assad.jpg|thumb|right|250px|it's the Bond villain on the right and not the dork on the left that you should fear]]

Syria is the first time Russia has involved itself in a direct military conflict outside its sphere of influence since the biggest Idiot and worst of all US Presidents, [[Ronald Reagan]], hit them with an all [[American]] bitchslap so uneducated Americans believe that Ronny Reagans aggressive foreign policy was the reason of the Collapse of USSR but actually the end of Cold War in [[1980s|1989]] was an implosion of Soviet System that was induced by immanet deficites. 
Historically, Russia has always aided the more belligerent Middle Eastern Countries like Syria during the Cold War years for oil and as a tool to influence the region by serving as a constant threat to the American Ally and great Middle Eastern Nation of [[Israel]] with economic and military assistance. 
It was the Syrian Revolution of 1966 that cemented ties between Syria and Russia when Hafez al-Assad gave up his ass, along with Naval Ports and bases - giving Russia its much desired position in Middle Eastern Politics, that he was able to kill everyone in opposition to him and become President For Life of Syria in 1970. 
Since 2011, most of what Russia's involvement in Syria amounted to maintaining a government that the people of Syria no longer wanted. Since October 2011, Russia had permanently used its position on the UN Security Council to veto all possible U.N. Sanctions against Syria designed either to demand the Resignation of Basher Del-Asshat or to bring him up on war crimes. 
Since 2015, Putin's influence in Syria had grown with him renewing the past ''"Syria is Russia's bottom bitch relationship"'' that began with Asshat's father when Putin once again committed military weapons and troops to resist the deposing of Assad that the Syrian people wanted. 
Not wanting to anger his [[Muslim|Moslem]] masters that want to depose Assad or his Russian pals, [[Obama]] famously did what he always does and did nothing, checking off Syria as a win in his box while blaming the former policies of [[W|George W Bush]] for all the recent discord in the region. 

=== Reasons For Russian Involvment ===

[[File:20030100nb it is all about oil front.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]

Main reason: Oil you dumb ass piece of shit or have you become so brainwashed by the [[Leftard|Liberal Medias]] of the United States, Great Britain and [[Canada|The Socialist Republic Of Canada]] that [[You]] believe that it's only America that goes out and waging wars in regions because it requires a constant flow of oil to turn into gasoline so it can feed its forever in conflict war machine? 
First off: That was a good thing because it was the years between 1945 and the [[1980s]] that the US broke Russia's back and they had to withdraw from the world stage. It was only because draft dodging [[Leftards|libtards]] like [[Bill Clinton]] and covert communist agents like [[Hillary Clinton]] and [[Obama]] claiming that the world was now safe because there were no longer two world powers standing toe to toe against each other in perpetual stalemate. By demanding reductions in the US military and pushing policies that reduced US world involvment they gave Russia the time it needed to regroup and reposition itself back on the world stage. 
Another reason for Russian involvment in Syria revolves around the fact that Russia has no Naval Bases on the Mediterranean except for Tartus in Syria. If Assad were to be deposed and a new government instaled in Syria then Russia would have to renegotiate its position and would probably take an [[anal|ass fucking]] to maintain it's only naval base in the Mediterranean or lose its presence on the sea entirely. 
Finally: Weapons sales. The magazine '''Foreign Affairs''' states that the Assad led government is one of the biggest buyers of Russian made weapons. Like any good capitalist investor, [[ironic]], Russia wants to protect its best customer and secure future sales interests. 

== Putin On The Ritz: Syrian Style ==

[[File:1050076334.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The epitomy of Bond villains]]

The big question being asked right now is, ''"Why did Putin committ Russian troops and weapons to Syria when these resources could be better spent elsewhere?"'' To quote George Mallory after he scaled Mt. Everest, ''"Because it was there,"'' or better yet, ''"Because he could."'' 
Military experts are claiming that Syria was a Russian demonstration of might and served to announce its return to the world stage as a military power. By showing its ability to invest money and military tools of war such as fighter jets, soldiers and missiles along with the ability to maintain these for a long period of time was designed to show the world that Russia has the economy and military capabilities to deploy a proper military strike effectively. Furthermore, it served as a show of force to the US, reminding the US that thanks to [[liberal]] generosities that they are no longer the decaying, former world power from the 90s, but are on the verge of retaking their place as a world power and can intrude on any side of any American led military operation if they so choose. 
Now, go to sleep with the same worries that your parents and grandparents had knowing that the world is one bad hangover and an accidental button push from [[WWIII|World War 3]] and hope that the world will be there when you wake up. Goodnight and remember that if you're not at '''Ground Zero''' when the bomb hits and instantly vaporized you will die a slow and agonizing death from Radiation Sickness. 

== A List Of Basher del-Asshat's Human Rights Violations Or How To Troll Syrian Fanboys ==

[[File:35hiiyf.jpg|thumb|right|250px|An actual birthday cake for a Gamefaqs, Syrian Fanboy]]
[[File:Assad,sozforpartyrocking.jpg|thumb|right|250px|He really is sorry.]]

The internet is not the safe space a lot of Assad's fan boys try to claim it to be and argue that if Assad was the dictator that the world claims him to be, then why would he allow the transmission of information across the internet. 
The fact is, much of the internet in Syria had been heavily censored with sites like Arabic Wikipedia, Facebook, Google and Twitter being blocked along with a 2007 law that requires all internet cafes to record a persons comments on message boards and chat forums. 
The biggest problem with the Assad goverment was that it was like the deposed Hussein government in that the secret police and military are literally a part of the government in that no one knows which is which and to oppose the military or police is to oppose the government and a threat against the Syrian Government is a direct threat against the military and police. 
Much like Castro's Cuba, this intertwined design is done with the sole purpose of qwelling revolution before it starts because to depose the existing government you must also destroy the police and military making a coup almost impossible without the direct Involvment of a foreign power. 
Despite his country being broke and in the middle of a civil war. People starving, 51% of the Syrian Population unemployed and black markets dominating the economy, Assad, in 2014, opened a 50 Million dollar mall in the center of the city of Tartus to the disappointment of his people who saw this as a ploy to cemment loyalties through bribes and favoritism. 

{{Quote|There are reasonable grounds to believe that high-ranking officers—including the heads of branches and directorates—commanding these detention facilities, those in charge of the military police, as well as their civilian superiors, knew of the vast number of deaths occurring in detention facilities ... yet did not take action to prevent abuse, investigate allegations or prosecute those responsible|UN Commision Of Inquiry Regarding Syria on the mass scale of deaths of detainees which may constitute a possible war crime}}
 

{{Quote|Syrian Government aircraft carried out several apparently deliberate attacks on hospitals, medical centres and clinics and aid convoys, killing and injuring civilians, including medical workers.|Amnesty International Regarding Syria}} 

{{Quote|Two barrel bombs allegedly containing chlorine gas were dropped by suspected Syrian Government aircraft on 1 August on two residential neighbourhoods controlled by non-state armed groups in Saraqeb city, Idleb province, reportedly injuring at least 28 civilians.|Amnesty International spreading fake news about the Syrian Government}} 

{{Quote|Torture and other ill-treatment of detainees by Syrian government security and intelligence agencies and in state prisons remained systematic and widespread. Torture and other ill-treatment continued to result in a high incidence of detainee deaths, adding to the thousands of deaths in custody. 
In August the Human Rights Data Analysis Group, an NGO that uses scientific approaches to analyze human rights violations, estimated that there were at least 17,723 deaths in government custody between March 2011 and December 2015, resulting from torture and other ill-treatment.|Amnesty International regarding Syria}} 

== See Also ==

*[[America]]
*[[Clinton]]
*[[Communism]]
*[[ISIS]]
*[[Islam]]
*[[Muslim|Moslem]]
*[[Obama]]
*[[Oil]]
*[[Rapefugee]]
*[[Russia]]
*[[Syria]]
*[[Sand niggers]]
*[[Socialism]]
*[[Terrorism]]
*[[Terrorist]]
*[[Trump]]
*[[Vladimir Putin]]

{{Commonwealth}}
{{Islam}}
{{Politics}}
{{Truth}}
{{timeline|Featured article December 20 & 21, [[2024]]|[[Syria]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Bluesky]]}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:America]]
[[Category:Communicae]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Rusfags]]
[[Category:Terrorists]]

File:Assad underwater.jpg

2024-12-23T14:31:02Z

Firatpen:

Bashar al-Assad

2024-12-23T14:29:28Z

Firatpen:

{{Perfect Rainbowtiny|CANT MOSSAD THE ASSAD}}
{{Spoilers|REBELS HAD REACHED INTO DAMASCUS AND ASSAD IS ON THE RUN}}
{{Achtung|IT'S OVER}}
[[File:Bashar al-Assad in Russia (2015-10-21) 08.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Al Bundy?]]
[[File:Assad skinny.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Faggot|Fuckable]]]]

'''Bashar Hafez al-Assad''' or in English '''Basher Del Asshat''' was born on the [[Muslim|Moslem Holiday]] of [[9/11]] on September 11, 1965. Bashar was the [[President|Rightful leader]] of [[Syria]] who was elected in a free, democratic Syrian election on 17 July 2000. He was able to win the office of Syrian President-for-life in a landslide victory with 88% of the vote. A Puppet leader of the Ba'ath Party and ardent supporter of Islamic Terrorist Groups, Al-Assad screamed the loudest for the destruction of '''[[America|THE GREAT SATAN]]'''. This was until 2012 when he started crying for fellow [[terrorist|Muslim]] U.S. President Barack [[Obama]] to help him maintain his aristocratic lifestyle of elected king and his favored position as King Of Oppression, [[lulz|Violator of Human Rights]], Keeping [[Wimmins]] Barefoot And In The Kitchen and being that Pimp Daddy King that Bitch Smacks anyone that has an opposing political opinion with a long prison sentence. Everything the [[Obama]] administration stood for. 

In December 8, 2024, after nearly 14 years of buttfuckery of civil war, he was [[BTFO]]'ed by rebels.

== The Begining Of His Political Career: Bashar Murders His Brother ==

[[File:Basil al-Assad.jpg|thumb|right|250px|With pics, the motive for murder becomes obvious. Basel or Bashar the No-chinned dork?]]

[[File:Assad sexy.png|thumb|right|250px|[[Emo|I'm sexy and I know it]]]]

Unable to live up to his older brother who, like all the world's royalty such as Prince Charles of England, was a decorated hero in the Syrian Military without having ever fired a weapon or been in a battle - Bashar understood that he could never live up to his father's and the people of Syria's favor of his older, better, and groomed for President/Dictator brother.
Feeling that he was the one better suited to grinding the people of Syria under his heel and into a never ending circle of eternal servitude and poverty. Not being able to stand the sight of blood and Syrian soldiers giving him the nickname of '''Frank Burns''' for his buther like Army Surgeon skills and 100% mortality rate Bashar realised he wasn't cut out to be a Doctor. It was, perhaps being told again and again, ''"You Suck"'' by his contemporary doctors that Bashar felt it was time for a change of occupation and decided on the course of action of assassinating his brother. 
On 21 January 1994, Bashar [[lie|feigned]] an emergency that had his Brother speeding in the fog, in the early morning hours to Damascus International Airport for a flight to Germany on the Syrian Presidential Jet. As per his plan, Bashar had convinced his brother Basel to drive because after the assassin's car had [[dead|struck Basel's]] car on the driver's side and at a rather high speed as well, Basel's chauffeur was found alive in the back seat of the car, wearing his seatbelt, while the driver's side seat belts had been removed along with the driver's side airbag . 
Like all [[Leftard|Liberal]] [[politics|Politicians]] to come before him, Bashar cried the hardest over his brother's death and ordered that the entire Country of Syria be shut down and for 3 days as the country mourned Basel's death. 
Following Basel's death a [[meme|popular slogan]] was started: '''Basel, the man we wanted: Bashar, the leftovers no one wants.'''

== Obama Hooks His Moslem Niggas Up ==

[[File:MAD-Magazine-Obama-Assad-Tale-of-Tape.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]

Being a fellow [[Terrorist|Moslem]] and friend to all rag-heads, terrorists, [[vagina]] mutilators and [[Islam|Islamic]] fundamentalism, [[Obama]] conviently looked the other way to Syrian war crimes and all other violations of human rights. 
For all Obama and [[Clinton|Hillary's]] complaints about our [[Trump|great lord and god emperor]] receiving aid from the [[Russia|Russians]], Obama did his best to aid them and Iran through his inaction and indifferance when it came to Syria. Obama's refusal to interfear did nothing but discredit [[Syria]] as a state and allowed for Islamic extremists like [[ISIS]] to become established and gain power. More so, Obama's indifferent refusal to enforce threats he had previously made regarding Syrian war crimes led to an escalation in human rights violations such as the [[hoax|alledged]] use of illegal chemical attacks against civilians both, Obama's inaction and ISIS gaining influence, of which started the overflow of Syrian refugees into Europe and [[America]] that Obama used as a ruse to hide his lack of involvement in Syria by calling [[Trump|President Trump]] xenophobic and racist when he spoke the people's concerns and told these refugees that nobody wanted them stinking up their neighborhoods, bringing terrorism to U.S. shores and they should all go back home because we already have enough convience store employees and McDonalds drive-thru cashiers that are incapable of speaking understandable English through an outdoor speaker. 
Despite all these failings with his policies regarding Syria, Obama has gone on record saying that he is ''"very proud"'' of the outcome in Syria which includes the deaths of over 3,000 civilians because he refused to honor his own ''"Ultimatiums"'' regarding chemical weapons and allowed Assad to escape responsability. 
As experts in Middle East politics put it so eloquently, ''Obama's legacy will forever be remembered for destabilizing, in a matter of weeks, what the free world has spent the last 75 years working their asses off to stabilize.'' 

== Assad Kneels Before Trump ==
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery class="middle"; heights="400px" widths="230px">
File:Executive Order 13769.pdf.jpg|Executive order 13769
</gallery>|border=black|background=white}}
</center>
 

Backing Executive Order 13769, or popularly known by [[Leftards]] as the Moslem ban, which mandates refugees from Syria be indefinately suspended from being allowed to resettle in the [[United States]] on a permanent or temporary basis, Assad supported the measure by going on record saying, ''"The executive order is written to be against terrorists that want to infiltrate and wage war against the West. It is [[Trump|the great god emperor of the West's]] intention to protect his people and to keep these people from coming into his country to do harm to his people. As a leader, I respect these measures. I don't see this order as being against the Syrian People or Moslems in general but as looking to protect them because if terrorist were to come in under the guise as being refugees and did great harm to the West like they did on [[9/11]], they would only further harm Western/Islamic relations that have been already damaged to a near, unrepairable extent by terrorists"'' 

== Syria And Russian Relations ==

<center><youtube>XPstRM77wMI</youtube></center>

{{Quote|If you look really hard, you can guess the exact second Assad started sucking Putin's dick}}

[[File:Putin-assad.jpg|thumb|right|250px|it's the Bond villain on the right and not the dork on the left that you should fear]]

Syria is the first time Russia has involved itself in a direct military conflict outside its sphere of influence since the biggest Idiot and worst of all US Presidents, [[Ronald Reagan]], hit them with an all [[American]] bitchslap so uneducated Americans believe that Ronny Reagans aggressive foreign policy was the reason of the Collapse of USSR but actually the end of Cold War in [[1980s|1989]] was an implosion of Soviet System that was induced by immanet deficites. 
Historically, Russia has always aided the more belligerent Middle Eastern Countries like Syria during the Cold War years for oil and as a tool to influence the region by serving as a constant threat to the American Ally and great Middle Eastern Nation of [[Israel]] with economic and military assistance. 
It was the Syrian Revolution of 1966 that cemented ties between Syria and Russia when Hafez al-Assad gave up his ass, along with Naval Ports and bases - giving Russia its much desired position in Middle Eastern Politics, that he was able to kill everyone in opposition to him and become President For Life of Syria in 1970. 
Since 2011, most of what Russia's involvement in Syria amounted to maintaining a government that the people of Syria no longer wanted. Since October 2011, Russia had permanently used its position on the UN Security Council to veto all possible U.N. Sanctions against Syria designed either to demand the Resignation of Basher Del-Asshat or to bring him up on war crimes. 
Since 2015, Putin's influence in Syria had grown with him renewing the past ''"Syria is Russia's bottom bitch relationship"'' that began with Asshat's father when Putin once again committed military weapons and troops to resist the deposing of Assad that the Syrian people wanted. 
Not wanting to anger his [[Muslim|Moslem]] masters that want to depose Assad or his Russian pals, [[Obama]] famously did what he always does and did nothing, checking off Syria as a win in his box while blaming the former policies of [[W|George W Bush]] for all the recent discord in the region. 

=== Reasons For Russian Involvment ===

[[File:20030100nb it is all about oil front.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]

Main reason: Oil you dumb ass piece of shit or have you become so brainwashed by the [[Leftard|Liberal Medias]] of the United States, Great Britain and [[Canada|The Socialist Republic Of Canada]] that [[You]] believe that it's only America that goes out and waging wars in regions because it requires a constant flow of oil to turn into gasoline so it can feed its forever in conflict war machine? 
First off: That was a good thing because it was the years between 1945 and the [[1980s]] that the US broke Russia's back and they had to withdraw from the world stage. It was only because draft dodging [[Leftards|libtards]] like [[Bill Clinton]] and covert communist agents like [[Hillary Clinton]] and [[Obama]] claiming that the world was now safe because there were no longer two world powers standing toe to toe against each other in perpetual stalemate. By demanding reductions in the US military and pushing policies that reduced US world involvment they gave Russia the time it needed to regroup and reposition itself back on the world stage. 
Another reason for Russian involvment in Syria revolves around the fact that Russia has no Naval Bases on the Mediterranean except for Tartus in Syria. If Assad were to be deposed and a new government instaled in Syria then Russia would have to renegotiate its position and would probably take an [[anal|ass fucking]] to maintain it's only naval base in the Mediterranean or lose its presence on the sea entirely. 
Finally: Weapons sales. The magazine '''Foreign Affairs''' states that the Assad led government is one of the biggest buyers of Russian made weapons. Like any good capitalist investor, [[ironic]], Russia wants to protect its best customer and secure future sales interests. 

== Putin On The Ritz: Syrian Style ==

[[File:1050076334.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The epitomy of Bond villains]]

The big question being asked right now is, ''"Why did Putin committ Russian troops and weapons to Syria when these resources could be better spent elsewhere?"'' To quote George Mallory after he scaled Mt. Everest, ''"Because it was there,"'' or better yet, ''"Because he could."'' 
Military experts are claiming that Syria was a Russian demonstration of might and served to announce its return to the world stage as a military power. By showing its ability to invest money and military tools of war such as fighter jets, soldiers and missiles along with the ability to maintain these for a long period of time was designed to show the world that Russia has the economy and military capabilities to deploy a proper military strike effectively. Furthermore, it served as a show of force to the US, reminding the US that thanks to [[liberal]] generosities that they are no longer the decaying, former world power from the 90s, but are on the verge of retaking their place as a world power and can intrude on any side of any American led military operation if they so choose. 
Now, go to sleep with the same worries that your parents and grandparents had knowing that the world is one bad hangover and an accidental button push from [[WWIII|World War 3]] and hope that the world will be there when you wake up. Goodnight and remember that if you're not at '''Ground Zero''' when the bomb hits and instantly vaporized you will die a slow and agonizing death from Radiation Sickness. 

== A List Of Basher del-Asshat's Human Rights Violations Or How To Troll Syrian Fanboys ==

[[File:35hiiyf.jpg|thumb|right|250px|An actual birthday cake for a Gamefaqs, Syrian Fanboy]]
[[File:Assad,sozforpartyrocking.jpg|thumb|right|250px|He really is sorry.]]

The internet is not the safe space a lot of Assad's fan boys try to claim it to be and argue that if Assad was the dictator that the world claims him to be, then why would he allow the transmission of information across the internet. 
The fact is, much of the internet in Syria had been heavily censored with sites like Arabic Wikipedia, Facebook, Google and Twitter being blocked along with a 2007 law that requires all internet cafes to record a persons comments on message boards and chat forums. 
The biggest problem with the Assad goverment was that it was like the deposed Hussein government in that the secret police and military are literally a part of the government in that no one knows which is which and to oppose the military or police is to oppose the government and a threat against the Syrian Government is a direct threat against the military and police. 
Much like Castro's Cuba, this intertwined design is done with the sole purpose of qwelling revolution before it starts because to depose the existing government you must also destroy the police and military making a coup almost impossible without the direct Involvment of a foreign power. 
Despite his country being broke and in the middle of a civil war. People starving, 51% of the Syrian Population unemployed and black markets dominating the economy, Assad, in 2014, opened a 50 Million dollar mall in the center of the city of Tartus to the disappointment of his people who saw this as a ploy to cemment loyalties through bribes and favoritism. 

{{Quote|There are reasonable grounds to believe that high-ranking officers—including the heads of branches and directorates—commanding these detention facilities, those in charge of the military police, as well as their civilian superiors, knew of the vast number of deaths occurring in detention facilities ... yet did not take action to prevent abuse, investigate allegations or prosecute those responsible|UN Commision Of Inquiry Regarding Syria on the mass scale of deaths of detainees which may constitute a possible war crime}}
 

{{Quote|Syrian Government aircraft carried out several apparently deliberate attacks on hospitals, medical centres and clinics and aid convoys, killing and injuring civilians, including medical workers.|Amnesty International Regarding Syria}} 

{{Quote|Two barrel bombs allegedly containing chlorine gas were dropped by suspected Syrian Government aircraft on 1 August on two residential neighbourhoods controlled by non-state armed groups in Saraqeb city, Idleb province, reportedly injuring at least 28 civilians.|Amnesty International spreading fake news about the Syrian Government}} 

{{Quote|Torture and other ill-treatment of detainees by Syrian government security and intelligence agencies and in state prisons remained systematic and widespread. Torture and other ill-treatment continued to result in a high incidence of detainee deaths, adding to the thousands of deaths in custody. 
In August the Human Rights Data Analysis Group, an NGO that uses scientific approaches to analyze human rights violations, estimated that there were at least 17,723 deaths in government custody between March 2011 and December 2015, resulting from torture and other ill-treatment.|Amnesty International regarding Syria}} 

== See Also ==

*[[America]]
*[[Clinton]]
*[[Communism]]
*[[ISIS]]
*[[Islam]]
*[[Muslim|Moslem]]
*[[Obama]]
*[[Oil]]
*[[Rapefugee]]
*[[Russia]]
*[[Syria]]
*[[Sand niggers]]
*[[Socialism]]
*[[Terrorism]]
*[[Terrorist]]
*[[Trump]]
*[[Vladimir Putin]]

{{Commonwealth}}
{{Islam}}
{{Politics}}
{{Truth}}
{{timeline|Featured article December 20 & 21, [[2024]]|[[Syria]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Bluesky]]}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:America]]
[[Category:Communicae]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Rusfags]]
[[Category:Terrorists]]

File:Assad sexy.png

2024-12-23T14:25:33Z

Firatpen:

File:Assad skinny.png

2024-12-23T14:19:41Z

Firatpen:

Bashar al-Assad

2024-12-08T10:41:32Z

Firatpen:

{{Perfect Rainbowtiny|CANT MOSSAD THE ASSAD}}
{{Spoilers|HOLY SHIT REBELS HAD REACHED INTO DAMASCUS AND ASSAD IS ON THE RUN}}
{{Achtung|IT'S OVER}}
[[File:Bashar al-Assad in Russia (2015-10-21) 08.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Al Bundy?]]

'''Bashar Hafez al-Assad''' or in English '''Basher Del Asshat''' was born on the [[Muslim|Moslem Holiday]] of [[9/11]] on September 11, 1965. Bashar was the [[President|Rightful leader]] of [[Syria]] who was elected in a free, democratic Syrian election on 17 July 2000. He was able to win the office of Syrian President-for-life in a landslide victory with 88% of the vote. A Puppet leader of the Ba'ath Party and ardent supporter of Islamic Terrorist Groups, Al-Assad screamed the loudest for the destruction of '''[[America|THE GREAT SATAN]]'''. This was until 2012 when he started crying for fellow [[terrorist|Muslim]] U.S. President Barack [[Obama]] to help him maintain his aristocratic lifestyle of elected king and his favored position as King Of Oppression, [[lulz|Violator of Human Rights]], Keeping [[Wimmins]] Barefoot And In The Kitchen and being that Pimp Daddy King that Bitch Smacks anyone that has an opposing political opinion with a long prison sentence. Everything the [[Obama]] administration stood for. 

In December 8, 2024, after nearly 14 years of buttfuckery of civil war, he was [[BTFO]]'ed by rebels.

== The Begining Of His Political Career: Bashar Murders His Brother ==

[[File:Basil al-Assad.jpg|thumb|right|250px|With pics, the motive for murder becomes obvious. Basel or Bashar the No-chinned dork?]]

Unable to live up to his older brother who, like all the world's royalty such as Prince Charles of England, was a decorated hero in the Syrian Military without having ever fired a weapon or been in a battle - Bashar understood that he could never live up to his father's and the people of Syria's favor of his older, better, and groomed for President/Dictator brother.
Feeling that he was the one better suited to grinding the people of Syria under his heel and into a never ending circle of eternal servitude and poverty. Not being able to stand the sight of blood and Syrian soldiers giving him the nickname of '''Frank Burns''' for his buther like Army Surgeon skills and 100% mortality rate Bashar realised he wasn't cut out to be a Doctor. It was, perhaps being told again and again, ''"You Suck"'' by his contemporary doctors that Bashar felt it was time for a change of occupation and decided on the course of action of assassinating his brother. 
On 21 January 1994, Bashar [[lie|feigned]] an emergency that had his Brother speeding in the fog, in the early morning hours to Damascus International Airport for a flight to Germany on the Syrian Presidential Jet. As per his plan, Bashar had convinced his brother Basel to drive because after the assassin's car had [[dead|struck Basel's]] car on the driver's side and at a rather high speed as well, Basel's chauffeur was found alive in the back seat of the car, wearing his seatbelt, while the driver's side seat belts had been removed along with the driver's side airbag . 
Like all [[Leftard|Liberal]] [[politics|Politicians]] to come before him, Bashar cried the hardest over his brother's death and ordered that the entire Country of Syria be shut down and for 3 days as the country mourned Basel's death. 
Following Basel's death a [[meme|popular slogan]] was started: '''Basel, the man we wanted: Bashar, the leftovers no one wants.'''

== Obama Hooks His Moslem Niggas Up ==

[[File:MAD-Magazine-Obama-Assad-Tale-of-Tape.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]

Being a fellow [[Terrorist|Moslem]] and friend to all rag-heads, terrorists, [[vagina]] mutilators and [[Islam|Islamic]] fundamentalism, [[Obama]] conviently looked the other way to Syrian war crimes and all other violations of human rights. 
For all Obama and [[Clinton|Hillary's]] complaints about our [[Trump|great lord and god emperor]] receiving aid from the [[Russia|Russians]], Obama did his best to aid them and Iran through his inaction and indifferance when it came to Syria. Obama's refusal to interfear did nothing but discredit [[Syria]] as a state and allowed for Islamic extremists like [[ISIS]] to become established and gain power. More so, Obama's indifferent refusal to enforce threats he had previously made regarding Syrian war crimes led to an escalation in human rights violations such as the [[hoax|alledged]] use of illegal chemical attacks against civilians both, Obama's inaction and ISIS gaining influence, of which started the overflow of Syrian refugees into Europe and [[America]] that Obama used as a ruse to hide his lack of involvement in Syria by calling [[Trump|President Trump]] xenophobic and racist when he spoke the people's concerns and told these refugees that nobody wanted them stinking up their neighborhoods, bringing terrorism to U.S. shores and they should all go back home because we already have enough convience store employees and McDonalds drive-thru cashiers that are incapable of speaking understandable English through an outdoor speaker. 
Despite all these failings with his policies regarding Syria, Obama has gone on record saying that he is ''"very proud"'' of the outcome in Syria which includes the deaths of over 3,000 civilians because he refused to honor his own ''"Ultimatiums"'' regarding chemical weapons and allowed Assad to escape responsability. 
As experts in Middle East politics put it so eloquently, ''Obama's legacy will forever be remembered for destabilizing, in a matter of weeks, what the free world has spent the last 75 years working their asses off to stabilize.'' 

== Assad Kneels Before Trump ==
 
<center>
{{frame|<gallery class="middle"; heights="400px" widths="230px">
File:Executive Order 13769.pdf.jpg|Executive order 13769
</gallery>|border=black|background=white}}
</center>
 

Backing Executive Order 13769, or popularly known by [[Leftards]] as the Moslem ban, which mandates refugees from Syria be indefinately suspended from being allowed to resettle in the [[United States]] on a permanent or temporary basis, Assad supported the measure by going on record saying, ''"The executive order is written to be against terrorists that want to infiltrate and wage war against the West. It is [[Trump|the great god emperor of the West's]] intention to protect his people and to keep these people from coming into his country to do harm to his people. As a leader, I respect these measures. I don't see this order as being against the Syrian People or Moslems in general but as looking to protect them because if terrorist were to come in under the guise as being refugees and did great harm to the West like they did on [[9/11]], they would only further harm Western/Islamic relations that have been already damaged to a near, unrepairable extent by terrorists"'' 

== Syria And Russian Relations ==

<center><youtube>XPstRM77wMI</youtube></center>

{{Quote|If you look really hard, you can guess the exact second Assad started sucking Putin's dick}}

[[File:Putin-assad.jpg|thumb|right|250px|it's the Bond villain on the right and not the dork on the left that you should fear]]

Syria is the first time Russia has involved itself in a direct military conflict outside its sphere of influence since the biggest Idiot and worst of all US Presidents, [[Ronald Reagan]], hit them with an all [[American]] bitchslap so uneducated Americans believe that Ronny Reagans aggressive foreign policy was the reason of the Collapse of USSR but actually the end of Cold War in [[1980s|1989]] was an implosion of Soviet System that was induced by immanet deficites. 
Historically, Russia has always aided the more belligerent Middle Eastern Countries like Syria during the Cold War years for oil and as a tool to influence the region by serving as a constant threat to the American Ally and great Middle Eastern Nation of [[Israel]] with economic and military assistance. 
It was the Syrian Revolution of 1966 that cemented ties between Syria and Russia when Hafez al-Assad gave up his ass, along with Naval Ports and bases - giving Russia its much desired position in Middle Eastern Politics, that he was able to kill everyone in opposition to him and become President For Life of Syria in 1970. 
Since 2011, most of what Russia's involvement in Syria amounted to maintaining a government that the people of Syria no longer wanted. Since October 2011, Russia had permanently used its position on the UN Security Council to veto all possible U.N. Sanctions against Syria designed either to demand the Resignation of Basher Del-Asshat or to bring him up on war crimes. 
Since 2015, Putin's influence in Syria had grown with him renewing the past ''"Syria is Russia's bottom bitch relationship"'' that began with Asshat's father when Putin once again committed military weapons and troops to resist the deposing of Assad that the Syrian people wanted. 
Not wanting to anger his [[Muslim|Moslem]] masters that want to depose Assad or his Russian pals, [[Obama]] famously did what he always does and did nothing, checking off Syria as a win in his box while blaming the former policies of [[W|George W Bush]] for all the recent discord in the region. 

=== Reasons For Russian Involvment ===

[[File:20030100nb it is all about oil front.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]

Main reason: Oil you dumb ass piece of shit or have you become so brainwashed by the [[Leftard|Liberal Medias]] of the United States, Great Britain and [[Canada|The Socialist Republic Of Canada]] that [[You]] believe that it's only America that goes out and waging wars in regions because it requires a constant flow of oil to turn into gasoline so it can feed its forever in conflict war machine? 
First off: That was a good thing because it was the years between 1945 and the [[1980s]] that the US broke Russia's back and they had to withdraw from the world stage. It was only because draft dodging [[Leftards|libtards]] like [[Bill Clinton]] and covert communist agents like [[Hillary Clinton]] and [[Obama]] claiming that the world was now safe because there were no longer two world powers standing toe to toe against each other in perpetual stalemate. By demanding reductions in the US military and pushing policies that reduced US world involvment they gave Russia the time it needed to regroup and reposition itself back on the world stage. 
Another reason for Russian involvment in Syria revolves around the fact that Russia has no Naval Bases on the Mediterranean except for Tartus in Syria. If Assad were to be deposed and a new government instaled in Syria then Russia would have to renegotiate its position and would probably take an [[anal|ass fucking]] to maintain it's only naval base in the Mediterranean or lose its presence on the sea entirely. 
Finally: Weapons sales. The magazine '''Foreign Affairs''' states that the Assad led government is one of the biggest buyers of Russian made weapons. Like any good capitalist investor, [[ironic]], Russia wants to protect its best customer and secure future sales interests. 

== Putin On The Ritz: Syrian Style ==

[[File:1050076334.jpg|thumb|right|250px|The epitomy of Bond villains]]

The big question being asked right now is, ''"Why did Putin committ Russian troops and weapons to Syria when these resources could be better spent elsewhere?"'' To quote George Mallory after he scaled Mt. Everest, ''"Because it was there,"'' or better yet, ''"Because he could."'' 
Military experts are claiming that Syria was a Russian demonstration of might and served to announce its return to the world stage as a military power. By showing its ability to invest money and military tools of war such as fighter jets, soldiers and missiles along with the ability to maintain these for a long period of time was designed to show the world that Russia has the economy and military capabilities to deploy a proper military strike effectively. Furthermore, it served as a show of force to the US, reminding the US that thanks to [[liberal]] generosities that they are no longer the decaying, former world power from the 90s, but are on the verge of retaking their place as a world power and can intrude on any side of any American led military operation if they so choose. 
Now, go to sleep with the same worries that your parents and grandparents had knowing that the world is one bad hangover and an accidental button push from [[WWIII|World War 3]] and hope that the world will be there when you wake up. Goodnight and remember that if you're not at '''Ground Zero''' when the bomb hits and instantly vaporized you will die a slow and agonizing death from Radiation Sickness. 

== A List Of Basher del-Asshat's Human Rights Violations Or How To Troll Syrian Fanboys ==

[[File:35hiiyf.jpg|thumb|right|250px|An actual birthday cake for a Gamefaqs, Syrian Fanboy]]

The internet is not the safe space a lot of Assad's fan boys try to claim it to be and argue that if Assad was the dictator that the world claims him to be, then why would he allow the transmission of information across the internet. 
The fact is, much of the internet in Syria had been heavily censored with sites like Arabic Wikipedia, Facebook, Google and Twitter being blocked along with a 2007 law that requires all internet cafes to record a persons comments on message boards and chat forums. 
The biggest problem with the Assad goverment was that it was like the deposed Hussein government in that the secret police and military are literally a part of the government in that no one knows which is which and to oppose the military or police is to oppose the government and a threat against the Syrian Government is a direct threat against the military and police. 
Much like Castro's Cuba, this intertwined design is done with the sole purpose of qwelling revolution before it starts because to depose the existing government you must also destroy the police and military making a coup almost impossible without the direct Involvment of a foreign power. 
Despite his country being broke and in the middle of a civil war. People starving, 51% of the Syrian Population unemployed and black markets dominating the economy, Assad, in 2014, opened a 50 Million dollar mall in the center of the city of Tartus to the disappointment of his people who saw this as a ploy to cemment loyalties through bribes and favoritism. 

{{Quote|There are reasonable grounds to believe that high-ranking officers—including the heads of branches and directorates—commanding these detention facilities, those in charge of the military police, as well as their civilian superiors, knew of the vast number of deaths occurring in detention facilities ... yet did not take action to prevent abuse, investigate allegations or prosecute those responsible|UN Commision Of Inquiry Regarding Syria on the mass scale of deaths of detainees which may constitute a possible war crime}}
 

{{Quote|Syrian Government aircraft carried out several apparently deliberate attacks on hospitals, medical centres and clinics and aid convoys, killing and injuring civilians, including medical workers.|Amnesty International Regarding Syria}} 

{{Quote|Two barrel bombs allegedly containing chlorine gas were dropped by suspected Syrian Government aircraft on 1 August on two residential neighbourhoods controlled by non-state armed groups in Saraqeb city, Idleb province, reportedly injuring at least 28 civilians.|Amnesty International spreading fake news about the Syrian Government}} 

{{Quote|Torture and other ill-treatment of detainees by Syrian government security and intelligence agencies and in state prisons remained systematic and widespread. Torture and other ill-treatment continued to result in a high incidence of detainee deaths, adding to the thousands of deaths in custody. 
In August the Human Rights Data Analysis Group, an NGO that uses scientific approaches to analyze human rights violations, estimated that there were at least 17,723 deaths in government custody between March 2011 and December 2015, resulting from torture and other ill-treatment.|Amnesty International regarding Syria}} 

== See Also ==

*[[America]]
*[[Clinton]]
*[[Communism]]
*[[ISIS]]
*[[Islam]]
*[[Muslim|Moslem]]
*[[Obama]]
*[[Oil]]
*[[Rapefugee]]
*[[Russia]]
*[[Syria]]
*[[Sand niggers]]
*[[Socialism]]
*[[Terrorism]]
*[[Terrorist]]
*[[Trump]]
*[[Vladimir Putin]]

{{Commonwealth}}
{{Islam}}
{{Politics}}
{{Truth}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:America]]
[[Category:Communicae]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Rusfags]]
[[Category:Terrorists]]

Gamers

2024-11-12T21:17:12Z

Firatpen:

[[File:Nerd Gamer.png|right|200px]]
[[File:Mature Gaming Station.jpg|250px|thumb|Your average gamer, over 17 and morbidly obese.]]
[[Image:Kid feeding kangaroos fucking.jpg|thumb|410px|Gamers are bound to be fooled by professional critics bribed by large gaming corporations.]]

A '''Gamer''' is someone who plays tedious, Darwin amplifying, circus downfall and unnewsworthy digital games. Gamers are male portions of the population that have devoted themselves to the hobby and pasttime of playing what are known as video games. As you will read on this page, you'll realize that they are no better than any shithead loser who uses their pasttime like a drunk sloven shabby backwater dickhead abuses their wife to make themselves feel better when in reality they don't accept the fact that they are shithead losers. When their peers talk about relationships gamers will wonder "What is a "relation ship"? and start looking for it in their fantasy world. Most gamers shop at [[GameStop]] (GAME if they're [[British|Britfags]]) despite the fact that they complain about their [[butthurt]] from getting ripped off from trading in their used games. Brace yourselfs people, we're going in.

==Analysis and Study==
''DISCLAIMER: Due to lack of study from other nations that aren't filled with white people/culturally assimilated peopls of color we have to leave them out of the study. For all we know at best everyone is busy working their asses off too hard to play or enjoy electronic entertainment apparatuses for lesiure as they slave away in sweatshops, barren wastelands devoid of food and karoshi corporations. Deal with it''

Gamers are and have always been white people to the core of their essence. Ever since the creation of video games since the Cold War, video games have always been in the presense of the white man, and so they are a prime canidate for ED's (once secret) Gamer Study Project of 200X. The purpose of this project was to study the behavior, psychology, as well as motivations and IRL functions of the so called Gamer. And so far this is the fruits of our labor. We hope you enjoy the knowledge contained therein.

Through our Study Program, we have learned there have been many demographics and even a lifecycle to these creatures.

Predominately, Gamers are male humans of the race of homo sapiens, and are comprised mainly of those in that which are known as First World Countries - being regions and civilizations of the world that have grown into a great degree of social, cultural, and economic influence throughout the planet of Earth. It should also be noted that such regions of the world are that governed over the subspecies Caucasoid, especially in the regions of Europe and North America.

Gamers come in these varieites:

*Casuals: Often regarded as "normalscum" or "fucking normalfags". Casuals are considered gamers who "betray all that is gaming" because they play cellphone games adapted to touchscreen phones around the turn of the 2010s. Another is known as "shovelware", being video games made mainly by western video game software developers that often incoroporate very lazy lackidasical and silly nonsense themes like gummy bears and children's toys to rip off ignorant parental units, or games known as the First Person Shooter, being a genre of game simulating one at the front of a gun weapon and proceeding kill one's way through to win the game. Often these sorts of games are sponsored by the militiaries of their respective countries to help bolster mindnumbing unquestionable obedience and patriotism, including instilling the want to join their ranks. IE This is propaganda. Though Casuals are the more likely to be "normal", normalcy is also a faggot term for genital lapping obedience and acting like a complete tool to be jerked around with by those higher up the social ladder of Corporatism Capitalist society.

*Hardcores: A title used appropriately due to the lack of median ground in the spectrum of gamer activity. Hardcores are diehard gamers who will literally die for and fight for their video games and their liked series. This doesn’t even cover how deep this rabbit’s hole goes people.

Due to the potential of more lulz we of the study had decided to document in full the behavior of the Hardcore Gamer.

===Demographics===
Gamers are often males, Caucasian by race or by cultural upbringing. They come in many forms and shapes, but for the sake of rustling jimmies they are either fatasses or scrawny bitchasses. For the most part they are always ugly looking dorks who wear unimpressive clothes and can be seen in a modicum of black/dark or bland colored T shirts.
Hardcores for the most part come from suburbia and the ass end of society, including shithole small towns and trailer parks. It’s not surprising to discover that for all of their school instilled genius, they come to wield the same exact inane droning fucktardery their parental units come to parade around them in their own pathetic lives. Examples include being “down to earth” and “sucking up to Caucasian Male Cultural Insecurities”, including wanting to impress losers who are busy eating shit and drinking piss at the ol watering hole down the street while watching sports endlessly in a pathetic loser fashion and singing country.

===Niggamers===

[[Some argue|It is indisputable]] that vidya games provide much needed escapism and relief from everyday life. Since most vidya games revolve around stealing treasure, killing people, or both, it is clear why such distractions [[Do not want|do not appeal]] to black person, who does all those things all day every day in real life.

===Genders===
hahahah you fucking kidding me mate there are no girls who play gaems hahahaha

Baffled by their pale unfit bodies, girls shun gamers. Those who don't are either worshipped as gods or constantly have to prove themselves "real". If there are they usually don’t exist in this crowd and are way too gorgeous to even be around these asshats. If not they are usually bitter dykes and losers who go around blaming men for every problem of their life and are just as reprehensible as them. These are known as Anti Gamergateists. Who are they? They are laughably spoiled first world problem whining shitbags who complain about how every character isn’t LBQGT and how “females aren’t being presented right in entertainment” because they have no touched talent and have been wasteful cocksuckers just as bad as who they protest. Hell they even have their own page. That’s how amazing this is.

On the matter of girls, hardcores would have to be no better than Anti-Gamergateists. Hardcores would have to be the most misogynistic, relationship self righteous, potentially rapist pieces of shit you could ever date. Because they can’t ever get over being dumped over in their shitty small towns over other human beings who have the propensity of being morally reprehensible no matter how they look (gasp what a tweist), they’ll come to “hate pretty people”….. until one comes up to them, where then their sense of being deserved sex (virginity is a concept disliked by swingers and loose cheap floozies from the 1960’s picked up by rapists and those who can’t form a relationship with another human being without being a sociopath, please drop that shit fuck you very much) flares up to 11 and they attempt to bag them. Granted, this goes over as well as you’d think it would. Plus an internet if the pretty person appears to be a gamer too (lul)

===Behavior===
Hardcores are very peculiar in their behavior. They are best known for their amazing feature of double standards and being absolutely two faced.

Hardcores for the most part are self pitying loser douchebags who never stand up for themselves and always take it up the ass in their shit society. Rather than take notes from the aesops of their games and be someone, hardcores “face reality” and attempt to be like every other cocksucker on the street, even bullies and people who constantly harass them. Though to be fair, constantly being on your ass and playing out constant power fantasties instead of productive and constructive activities to space out being somebody isn’t surprising in this lot.

Hardcores will always try to circlejerk with others of their kind or attempt to garner sympathy from others outside their circle due to their self pitying nature. They will then attempt to forcibly put them into their mindset because that’s the only way they can make friends. Do not ever be friends with a hardcore gamer. They are just as unaccepting, intolerant, prejudiced, and closeminded as any other shit human being they laud as “being more popular and better than me on the social pecking order”.
Hardcores for the most part are atheist jerkoffs with a lot of questionable logic. If they are ever presented with things of a religious or spiritual nature, they will react with revulsion and dislike for it and/or will try to change the subject because “it doesn’t interest them”. Do not attempt to engage in any meaningful banter with them, as they will often attempt to force their opinions on to you.

Speaking of forcing things down each other’s throats, let’s get to the meat of this study. Hardcores are diehard fans of whatever series they enjoy and are catered to with. Much like their shithead brethren of capitalist society, Hardcores are hiveminds of a crony capitalist reverse psychology marketing ploy of “if you buy, you rebel, and being a rebel is cool and hip, unlike being a conformist who buys other things”. This explains many things, including being walking talking and breathing billboards for console creators and game creators. This includes being dismissive opinion waiving “free speech” whoring losers who act like cliquey high schoolers towards fans of other series because they don’t know how to be a human being or know anything about human decency. No, Hardcores, you are the pushy diehard fanwhores who can’t stop praising your fucking series you enjoy to hell. And then Hardkores were the consumer zombies.

On the topic of the internet, die hardkore gamers are and will always be the bane of human communications and existence. For the most part, along with being losers who channel their powers into series and entertainment as a right to throw their own weight around as hobby abusing powerstarved shitheads, giving them a forum or other means of internet communication is actually a bad thing. Not only do they lack common sense and leave every disgusting ass word on public accessible spaces, but they will also use websites to whore out their opinions and act like if what they like is a “rebellion against an enemy who controls the system mannnn”. Look asshole just because you like the Witcher doesn’t make you a fucking “genious who will outsmart the man”, you look like a bible thumper who got lost in sticking your dick in your game’s case. Also, from the words of someone who has a life, “the internet often gets things wrong”. Just because the internet is the Super Information Highway doesn’t mean the reverse can happen by people who think opinions and personal perspective equal fact and information. This won’t get these asshats from stopping posting on the net, but hey, at least this is truthful to an extent.

===Racist double standards? In my fandom? It’s more likely than you expect===

It should be noted Hardkores have an undocumented but prevalent hardon hatred for Japanese people in general. A true reason to show why Gamers will not be your friends and are territorialistic suck ups who will exploit you for all you’re worth, Hardcores hate the Japanese with a passion. They will often complain about how “unwhite” they are and how if their games don’t suck up to their standards of cool, japs deserve to burn in another atomic holocaust. For some reason, Hardkores love to think that Japan hates them. This is only partially true. While there are racist shitheads in every nation, well, that only comprises a less than sizable amount. Other human beings learn what is known as “compassion and decency”. Hardkores for the most part do not have this word in their vocabulary. This especially goes hard for Americans, as such a nation where it praises shit like civil rights and racial equality, it appears that only goes for those who follow the White Man’s ways, which many a Hardkore loves to follow. Cultural understanding is also not a word that is in their vocabulary and this nails the coffin further. All hardkores enjoy thinking “Japland” is a place where “conformity is everywhere and it’s a dictator like nation where animu and moeshit is the standard”, and they get this way when daddy lambasts them when they play this in their basements. This is actually fact and do not disregard this. Even weebs of hardcore standards do this shit.

Other than that, hardcores should be taken with caution. They have strong ties to alt right movements and sucking the dicks of white supremacists. If not they are crony democrat Men’s Rights Activists who enjoy stating “openmindness and equality” while in turn spreading the progressive White man’s first world standards onto other peoples of the world. See this and expect this in a lot of PC gamers, as well as hardcore console gamers of any maker no exceptions. This will even go far in the video game journalism industry. PC whores you are not exempt.

===The topic of weird===
Normalcy is a very flexible yet very multifaceted concept. To hardcores however normalcy is their world and their world alone. This is also garnered from being conditioned in backwater stagnating small closeminded dying small towns by their mindsets. Weird is mainly bad to them, and it’s also in use by Early 21st Century society because apparently “mankind has cracked the code of the universe with science” or some other flatearther level fucktardery. Weird is a key word for unlikable faggots like these. Walk away immediately if this word is ever used. Hardkores will use weird to describe things that are unfamiliar with them, like a black person and a genre of music that they don’t listen to often. It’s also a universal trigger no matter who the person, signifying the punchability and loathingly unlikable annoyingness of that individual. Weird is a bad word, especially by hardcores. Hardcores are two faced assholes. You know what to do. That is all.

===The library of the Hardcore===
Hardcores enjoy “manly shit”, and by that we mean the kind of garbage any tween looks up to when they feel they want to grow their hormone frustrated dicks into a complete faggot “superior person.” Hardcores will often enjoy “realistic” games but “nothing like Call of Duty”, which they ironically hate completely. Hardcores instead will like things that will make them feel “cool and special”. Here’s a library of games you should take note of when you don’t want to be around them:
*The Witcher
*Anything made by Valve
*”Non Call of Duty” FPSes
*PC Games
*Anything brown in color scheme with bloom
*Retro games
*Roguelikes (ie mindnumbing gambling in the form of a storyless RPG)

==Interview with Doctorate Professor PHD V - Debunking the myths of the Gamer==
Welcome Professor V.

Thank you. Nice to meet you.

So we here of ED have questions we'd love to ask you.

Sure, what would you like to know?

Well we here of ED need to update our Gamers page because it sucked a fat dick and because the content was barebones and horrible as fuck. So we'd love to know about Gamers, especially the Hardkore Gamer.

Ah, glad you know about them! So, what would you like to further know?

How do Gamers, especially Hardkores survive? Like we mean sustenance; food. We could say they eat shit but that's being kind. So, how do gamers live?

Ah, the sustenance of the Hardkore. As we all know, the Hardkore is a Caucasoid creature of Homo Sapiens. As we've studied in captivity, they enjoy eating anything that comes at them. Unfortunately, this mainly includes thinks like junk foods like Doritos and Mountain Dew and fast foods like burgers and sandwiches. Nothing homemade or nutritious.

Is it true they pick crumbs and morsels out of their own orifices if they are ever confronted with cravings?

Why yes, they do.

Is it true that gamers attend conventions constantly?

HAHAHAHAH

Are you seriously that fucking retarded? Of course not! Hardcores never do that. Often they attend a convention only once, and due to their self hate and lack of social skills they judge other congoers as "cringe". Ironically you can tell those kinds from afar by them looking like complete nerds and visually underwhelming (as well as tasteless) fucking dorks and tight wads. Seriously, if there's anything to cringe about, it would have to be them. Some of them even go to take photos of hot cosplayers and then save them in their phone to jerk off to them. They are all uptight unsociable losers who don’t have fun and kill any good atmosphere you have by being smartaleckly shitfaces who blame being made fun of by congoers instead of, you know, society.

Doctor V, what is their propensity for knowledge and understanding?

Well, I would have to give it a very low rating. Many of them gain merely what they know from typical school education centers, and from forums on the internet. When it comes to college, it's pretty much the same except for the fact that they are preparing for adult life. Of course they are fundamentalist and parading athiests who have gathered mainly around the dicklapping of science since the mid 2000s when America was getting its fundamentalist Christian ass kicked. Even for a scientist I have my own beliefs but keep them separate. These guys are complete fucking morons and dipshits.

''TO BE CONTINUED''

==Kinds of Hardkore Gamers==
*''[[Fanboys]]'': Spends a very long time drooling over blockbuster games no one will care about in three years. They will also engage in Internet debates defending "their" console like a person who does not get laid arguieng over [[condom]]s (Then again, this analogy can describe 99% of all forum discussions).
*''[[Video Game Reviewer|Video Game Critic]]'': Gamers who have refused to leave their basement of dwelling, nor have they developed a decent enough skill for competition. So instead they post videos of themselves swearing at 20 year old games in a desperate attempt to be accepted by their other equally socially-retarded peers. They also mainly rip off [[AVGN]] and do not donate to them, they are hack frauds.
*''[[Tourneyfag|TourneyFag]]'': A basement-dweller who has somehow managed to lose enough weight to leave their parents house and turn up at professional video game tournaments. They are commonly noticeable by their ill concealed lack of conversation skills and [[aspie]]-like BAWLing at anything they consider unbalanced or unfair in a video game, and won't stop bitching until they get their own way, or their parents pick them up to go home.

*''"True Gamer"'': A term for a faux inclusive shitbag who puts his hobby and ego on an artificial shelf of self worth, True Gamers are shitbags to be avoided like the plague. True Gamers are self entitled ego inflated cockasses who love to judge and will judge based on what you play and what you do as a human being. If you are ever confronted with one, beat them up and tell them to fuck off. Bonus points if they enjoy [[The Spoony One]].
*''Video Game Webcomic Makers'': A dying breed, these assholes used to plague the internets before the reckoning of the 4chans. More often than not they are fanwhores with access to a pencil and scanner and use their art skills to whore out their opinions in unfunny unclever ways on the "video game industry". Thankfully ded.
*''"Smart" Final Fantasy Fans'': Don't think that the otherside is any better. Final Fantasy Fans suffer from a huge ego and what is known as [[Final Fantasy Disease]]. This can be signified if one remarks that "VI & IX were the only good ones" and being unfunny self aware dysphoric shitheads who constantly treat themselves as a living joke.

[[Image:Gamermacro.gif|thumb|Pseudo Adult Gamer]]
[[File:Satisfied Customer.jpg|right|200px]]
[[File:VideoGamingFrogComic.png|thumb|right| If you don't get this comic, you are a casualfag.]]

== Popular Games ==
For full coverage, see [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Category:Gaming the gaming category].

• '''[[BioShock]]''': A fucking awful [[FPS]] series that involves a pedophilic main character named "[[Jack Gilbert Graham|Jack]]", crashing his plane into the Atlantic Ocean and locating an underwater city named "[[Bible|Rapture]]", which is full of weird shit.

• '''[[Call of Duty]]''': A shitty [[FPS]] series that caters to every known 13-year-old faggot alive. Also that one video game series that everybody claims to cause violence as soon as a [[school shooting]] happens.

• '''[[Fallout]]''': An incredibly over-hyped series that started off shit, and morphed into an even bigger shit following the development of [[Vomit|Fallout 3]].

• '''[[Final Fantasy]]''': The RPG series that has way too many fucking sequels.

• '''[[Grand Theft Auto]]''': [[You]] play as a badass muthafuckin' gangsta in a 3D open-world Ghetto. There's no limit to what you can do in this game: mass murder, car hijacking, [[Drugs|druhgz]], arson, burglary, possession of illegal firearms, and moar. Thanks to San Andreas' "Hot Coffee Mod", this game officially allows you to tackle dat pusi with your very own [[PlayStation|PS2]]/[[XBox 360]] controller. Go crazy, virgins!

• '''[[League of Legends]]''': An online game which rewards the player with anthropomorphic animals for showing up as scheduled and not being a leaver. This proves what everyone suspected: Gamers are as trustworthy as a goblin masturbating in a [[D&D]] dungeon.

• '''[[Minecraft]]''': The [[Twitter]] of games. Everyone seem to be into it but no one can explain what it's good for.

• '''[[Pac-Man]]''': Play as a yellow circle and eat all the pellets, and don't get ræped by the Ghosts. Eat a Power Pellet and the Ghosts will turn blue, which means you get to ræp them for bonus points instead.

• '''[[Pokémon]]''': Every autist's wet dream. Spawning from the [[Goatse|gaping asshole]] of [[Japan]], "Pokémon" is a Godawful series that revolves around collecting [[Niggers|wild, retarded creatures]] and training them to fuck each other in combat to gain Experience Points. For some reason, this series excelled in the video-game industry, despite the gameplay mostly consisting of mashing the A button to defeat your opponent. This series is played by anyone who has contemplated suicide at least once in their lives.

• '''[[The Sims]]''': A life simulator that boasts all dynamics of everything and anything that [[you]] will never have in your life. There's no defined goal, yet everybody seems to play it as their guilty-pleasure.

• '''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]''': A severely retarded abomination of a platformer video game, and a main contributor to the [[Furfag|furry fandom]]. One must ask themselves how such a simplistic video-game could [[SammyClassicSonicFan|spawn so much cancer in today's society]]. "Sonic the Hedgehog" is SEGA's equivalent to [[Mario]], and involves a blue, drug-induced, batshit insane "hedgehog" named Sonic, and his shota-fuckbuddy, "Tails". Together, they travel the land to put a halt to Dr. Ivo Robotnik's (Eggman for newfags) diabolical scheme to turn all of <s>nature's</s> [[Christfag|God's]] creatures into robot-controlling monsters. The twist to this game is that you get to travel at "[[Autism|SUPERSONIC SPEEEED!!!1one!]]", but that factor actually makes the quality of the game worse, especially in the later stages, because Sonic won't stand the fuck still when he's trying to navigate through tedious obstacle courses. In the later games (post-2000), everything is 3D and completely broken. If [[you]] have ever played a Sonic video game, we highly suggest that you kill yourself, the sooner the better.

• '''[[Mario|Super Mario Bros.]]''': This game tells the story of a [[Fat|fat]] [[Italy|Italian]] [[You|plumber]], who collects [[Drugs|Shrooms]], jumps on [[Jews|Goombas]] and [[Fags|Turtles]], rescues a cake-obsessed bitch from a giant rapist dinosaur, then fucks her hard. This game spawned hundreds of other sequels, spin-offs, and sub-series, most of them being the exact same thing every damn time.

• '''[[Super Smash Bros.]]''': A "fighting" game where players can choose from any of their favorite [[Nintendo]] characters and use them to battle against each other. Very popular with [[Tourneyfag|Tourneyfags]], and usually causes a fuck-ton of [[Raeg|nerd rage]] over how each game in the series should be played.

• '''[[Team Fortress 2]]''': [[Steam]]'s most notorious video game, and that's not saying much. "TF2" is an online [[FPS]] that comprises nine character classes shared between two teams, "RED" and "BLU" respectively. The game is the sequel to a [[Quake]] mod that nobody could give a fuck about, and is playable on PC, Linux (as of 2013), Mac, and PlayStation 3. The game's "[[Unfunny|humor]]" is quite literally the only reason why this hunk of shit gained it's notoriety among the gaming community. Not to mention that anybody who has played in an online server for longer than an hour would become oblivious to TF2's basic, uncreative gameplay, shitty 3D "[[Pivot Stickfigure Animator|realistic]]" character models, and all-round lack of intelligence in the minds of those fuckwits who play it in their mom's basement all day every day. [[Kitty0706|Some fanfags use TF2 character models in their GMod YouTube videos to boost their popularity]].

• '''[[Tetris]]''': Eliminate the falling blocks by filling up the available space to form "rows" For every "row" you make, the blocks fall faster. If you suck at this game, the blocks will tower on top of each other until they reach the top of the scr- '''GAME OVER'''.

• '''[[The Elder Scrolls]]''': An RPG series notable for it's horrible AI, buggy graphics, and an awful physics engine.

• '''[[The Legend of Zelda]]''': This game tells the story of a wimpy little shotacon with huge ears and green clothing, named "Link", and his quest to save the land of [[Europe|Hyrule]] from [[LINK MAH BOIIIII|the evil forces of Ganon]]. A typical Legend of Zelda game involves a really unnecessary storyline about some bullshit sages who can't protect their world for the life of them, and because they're too lazy/retarded to put a stop to the villain's powers, they make up a prophecy that this little autistic forest boy who nobody loves is actually going to be their savior. And, holy shit, it turns out he can pwn Ganon/Vaati/Skull Kid/Chancellor Cole in less than a minute so long as these giant hideous fairy whores keep offering him their "[[AIDS|magic]]" (Hell, in one CD-i game he literally threw a book at Ganon and he was instantly defeated). Legend of Zelda is one of the most overrated series ever, and if you look at any "Top 10 video games of all time" countdown, you're definitely going to see "Ocarina of Time" somewhere on the list, because every gamer in the world treats this series like it's their fucking religion because of how "[[unfunny|fun]]" it is. '''PROTIP''': Unless you have an unusual fixation on anime/anime-esque media, don't play any of these games. <s>90%</s> All of them are completely shit.

==Videos==

{{center|
{{fv|Gamer videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>hsikPswAYUM</youtube>
|<youtube>bKzPQX4Perw</youtube>
|<youtube>qFkLkquuBw4</youtube>'''National anthem of gamers'''}}
}}

==Gallery==

{{cg|Notice the lack of women|GamerGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Vidyagamer.gif
Image:Types of Gamers.jpg|An accurate list of different species of gamers
Image:Gaming mentality.jpg
File:NintendoKid.jpg
File:Gamers will understand.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:The People You See At a Midnight Release.jpg
File:Gamingparentsthenundnow.jpg
File:True Gamer.jpg
File:Pussy Gamer.jpg
File:Gamer Guinea Pig.jpg|Your teammates
File:Gaminghamster.jpg
File:Typicalgamer2.jpg|A typical gamer.
Image:Gaming_lifestyle_advert.jpg|Lack of exercise = Death
Image:Gamerlol.jpg|OBJECTION!
Image:Rpgfanboy.jpg|HXC gamer at the point of no return
Image:B hold a girl.jpg|Women can lead to character death and should be avoided
Image:gamer.png|Gamers also look at porn in their mom's basement
Image:Gaymer.jpg|What every gamer wishes he were
File:Fanboy Nintendo.jpg
Image:typicalgamer.jpg|Typical gamer activity
Image:LOLHaloHaterIsButthurt.jpg|Gamers, [[fanboys]], and [[haters]] will do anything to prove and defend their opinions to compensate for their small [[genitals]]
Image:Gumtree-Mario-Buttfuck-ad.jpg|A typical gamer want-ad in Gumtree
File:Remote broom.gif|Broom: The video game
File:Gamer chair.gif
Image:Hardcore_gamer_tat.jpg|Life: [[basement dweller|No life]]
Image:Gaming_-_Gen_One_Is_The_Best_Gen.jpg
Image:Gamers_-_Must_Be_Some_Fat_Ugly_Whore.jpg
Image:Stealth_Is_The_Best_Option.jpg
</gallery>}}

== See Also ==
* [[Video games]]
* [[Video Game Reviewers]]
* [[Girl Gamers]]
* [[PC Gamer]]
* [[Basement dweller]]
* [[Angry Nintendo Nerd]]
* [[Irate Gamer]]
* [[Online sex games]]
* [[Otaku]]
* [[Tourneyfag]]
* [[Jack Thompson]] - The anti-gamer.
* [[Anita Sarkeesian]] - The bigger anti-gamer and scammer.
* [[Adam Lanza]]
* [[Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris]] - Even for shithead scum like these guys, they were the ultimate gamors. Too bad they have such bad fucking aim that they missed everyone they should have killed by a fucking YEAR

== External Links ==

* [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7521044027821122670 A video about gamers in their natural environment.]
* [http://bulletforcegame.com/ Bullet Force]

{{Gaming}}
{{dying alone}}
{{timeline|Featured article November 15 & 16, [[2014]]|[[GamerGate/POTM|GamerGate Faggot Brigade]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[IGN]]}}

{{Timeline|Featured Article January 14 and 15, [[2024]]|[[Rina Palenkova]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Religion]]}}

[[Category:Gaming| ]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]

Boo

2024-11-09T23:13:02Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

{{perfect}}
[[Image:Pedobear_and_boo.png|thumb|right|150px|[[Pedobear]] and pup.]]
'''Boo''' was [[Pink Poodle]]'s [[dog]]. All he did was [[shit nobody cares about|not give a shit about anything]]. In fact, he didn't give a shit about [[you]] so [[dumbass|why are you reading this article]]? He was a [[Nazi|German Shepherd]]/[[Japan|Akita]] mix and he appeared to ignore his owner all the time. Boo also had his own [[YouTube]] series where, in [[webcam|low-res videos]] of him, he does not give a shit about anything. Pink Poodle would question him on various things, like if he cared about his birthday, if he wanted to go out to go to the bathroom, if he wanted a dog treat, if he would speak and stop ignoring her, where Boo wanted to go on an adventure that day, what silly things he'd decide to do, and ask for him to [[gtfo|get off of the leather couches]]. He passed away in mid-[[2010]]. Boo was the best.
 
It is still unknown why he had a YouTube following of at least [[300]] people. It is even more mysterious why he had that fugly pinkish-mauve-colored dog collar either. Seriously, ew.
{{clear}}

==Death==
It is unknown why exactly Boo was [[baw|put down]]. Apparently he really didn't give much of a shit. It is speculated that Boo starved to death from Pink Poodle raiding in EQ2 of 67 hours straight, but that's a lie as she's always kicked out of raids, and Boo would have opened the fridge by then. (Even then, he wouldn't care.)

Boo is now in Hæven where the deceased patriots of [[lulz]] go when they die. He is the junkyard dog.

==;_;==

<big><big><center>[[Goodnight sweet prince]]:</center></big></big>
<center>{{Frame|<youtube>2guGHPhx5eM</youtube>|border=#A57788|background=#A57788}}</center>

{|style="margin: auto;"
|{{frame|{{morphquote|boo_quotes|background-color: #D8BCC7; width: 600px; height: 200px|font-weight: bold;
|RIP Boo|[[Thayo]] in #wiki

|NO NO NO|[[User:Mungbean|Mungbean]] in #wiki

|The best dog on the internet ;(|MikeMcNanner on YouTube

|I'm gonna miss that dog.|RobertBobbyHill on YouTube

|I miss boo already.. ;_;|Reaprar on YouTube}}|border=#A57788|background=#D8BCC7}}
|}

==See Also==
*[[Pink Poodle]], his owner
*[[Manly tears]]
*[[Nobody gives a shit]], what Boo thought all the time
*[[Dog]]
*[[Apathy]]
*[[Whatever]]
*[[Advice Dog]]
*[[Meh]]
*[http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/akitashepherd.htm Boo is Internet famous!]

==Related==
*[[WhiteMystery's Dog]]
*Boo, President of [[User:Mr_Jonzz/SKC|The Secret Kitty Club]]
{{clear}}

{{why is there an article}}

[[Category: IRL Shit]][[Category: In Jokes]]

Bomb

2024-11-09T22:56:30Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

A '''bomb''' is something that commits ''boom''. It is created by [[pyro]]s, [[terrorist]]s, and the [[army]]. See [[High Score#Bomberman|'''a list of lethal bombings''']].

'''Bomb''' may also refer to:

*[[ANSI Bomb]]
*[[Bomberman]]
*[[Bombermanfan]]
*[[Bombshock]]
*[[Dirty Bomb]]
*[[Drama bomb]]
*[[Exploding Van]]
*[[Food Not Bombs]]
*[[Gay bomb]]
*[[Google bomb]]
*[[MAGABomber]]
*[[Photo bomb]]
*[[Pizza Bomb]]
*[[All Your Base Are Belong To Us|Someone set up us the bomb]]
*[[Textile bomb]]
*[[War]] in general

[[Image:Morshugofuckurself.png|thumb|right|275px|[[Legend of Zelda|Bombs? You want it?]]]]
*The presence of a [[troll]], [[newfag]], or just an utter [[fail]]ure causes a [[sage]] bomb.
*The most epic LULZ of all teim: http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2009/05/teenage-bomb-threat-suspect-was-an-internet-prank-phone-call-star/

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
File:Bus bomb.gif
Image:300px-Classic time bomb.jpg
Image:Bomb.jpg
Image:Bomb0.jpg
Image:Bomb-jack-big.jpg
Image:BombWW1DSCF4195.JPG
Image:Zerowing.gif|[[all your base|SOME ONE SET UP US THE BOMB]]
Image:Bush bomb.jpg
Image:Lrg russian bomb.jpg
Image:Nuclear suitcase bomb nuke.gif
Image:Suspicious_devices.jpg|[[ATHF Terrorist Attack|NOT a bomb.]]
File:Real Bomb Bird.png|The [[OG|original]] bomb [[Angry Birds|bird]].
File:Bomb17.jpg

</gallery></center>
{{life}}
{{disambig}}

BitTorrent

2024-11-09T22:25:02Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

{{spoilers|I'M STUCK AT 99% [[Seed Plz|PLZ SEED]]}}
[[File:POTCTorrentMemes.jpg|300px|right]]

'''BitTorrent''' is a [[P2P]] [[pr0n|porn-centric]] file sharing protocol used by [[Basement Dweller|basement dwelling]] [[Technical virgin|virgins]] to download massive amounts of [[Furry|furfuckery and yiffporn]], which is usually called ''torrenting''. It is probably the most common protocol for transferring the insanely large folders of [[yaoi]] back and forth over the internet. Other common files that are transferred over the BitTorrent protocol include [[hentai]], tentacle rape porn, [[Acrotomophilia|amputee porn]], [[CP|pedoporn]], dutch porn, [[snuff|snuff porn]], and some movies. It is estimated that [[Statistics|over 35%]] of the internet’s traffic is found on the BitTorrent protocol. Because sharing is enforced, it will [[rape]] your bandwidth-capped [[shit|USA-tier]] [[internet]] connection so good your [[ISP]] will probably [[cock block]] you: this is expected and necessary for the evolution of each torrent, so just use a damn [[VPN]]. The better quality the torrent, the better it is [[Seed Plz|seeded]]. If you pick a 2kB/s torrent with 3 seeds and 67 [[leech]]es, you're [[doing it wrong]].

==History==

BitTorrent was created in [[2001]] by programmer [[Bram Cohen]] who kept this [[magic]] under wraps for two months. Finally, after realizing that he would need [[moar|more]] [[ppl|people]] using the protocol so that he could download his [[warez]], movies, [[loli]], and [[MP3|illegally shared music files]] faster, he uncorked this genie from its bottle and the internet has not been the same since.

==How BitTorrent Works==
The initial owner of a porn file will make what is called a torrent. He then uses this torrent to [[Seed Plz|seed]] his [[Sick Fuck|perversity]] to other [[Fag|perverts]] around the world. Each pervert who downloads the initial seed also uploads the pornographic data at the same time, this leads to a very fast and efficient way to distribute your [[Wapanese|Japanese]] [[Roman Shower|vomit porn]] to all of your [[friends]]. As each downloader completes the initial seed, they also begin seeding the files. This exponentially increases the downloading speed for the rest of the [[Pervert|depraved old men]] who are looking for pictures or videos of your little [[Incest|sister]] dancing with a [[poop.mov|Sharpie]] [[In the ass|in her ass]] in front of her [[Camwhore|webcam]]. The more seeds there are, the faster you get to [[fap|beat off]].
''
Don't get demotivated after downloading an antivirus and realizing it has a virus after infecting your pc beacuse you couln't scan the antivirus setup because u didn't have an antvirus and u were already attempting to have one and u infected your pc because u didnt have an antivirus when ure looking for one.''

'''What the fuck am I reading???'''

Anyway, when we work together, as long as there's just one extra guy seeding, it can't be shut down. That's the beauty of it.

==BitTorrent Clients==

There are [[Over 9000|approximately eleven-billion]] BitTorrent clients available. Here is a brief list of popular clients:

<center>
{| class="wikitable"
| align="center" width="200px" |'''Client'''
| align="center" width="200px" |'''What can you get with it?'''
| align="center" width="200px" |'''Is it a proprietary FBI backdoor?'''
|-
| align="left" | [http://www.bittorrent.com/btusers/download BitTorrent]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez, mp3s||align="center" style="background:#FF5959"|Yes
|-
| align="left" | [http://pingpong-abc.sourceforge.net/ ABC]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No
|-
| align="left" | [http://int64.org/projects/arctic-torrent/ Arctic Torrent] || align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No. Do not use this for anything outside of LAN, it's old and doesn't work properly these days. Otherwise if you're using LAN then this is a great client, the source is available as well.
|-
| align="left" |[http://www.bitcomet.com/ BitComet]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#FF5959"|Yes. Not recommended; it is known to not cooperate well with other clients.
|-
| align="left" |[http://www.bitlord.com/ BitLord]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#FF5959"|Yes
|-
| align="left" |[http://www.bittornado.com/ BitTornado]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#FF5959"|Yes
|-
| align="left" |[http://deluge-torrent.org/ Deluge]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No
|-
| align="left" |[http://gnome-bt.sourceforge.net/ Gnome BitTorrent]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No
|-
| align="left" |<s>[[Limewire]]</s> [[Frostwire]]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#FF5959"|Most definitely Yes
|-
| align="left" |[https://www.qbittorrent.org/ qBittorrent]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No
|-
| align="left" |[http://libtorrent.rakshasa.no/ rtorrent]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No
|-
| align="left" |[http://www.transmissionbt.com/ Transmission]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No
|-
| align="left" |[http://www.tixati.com/ Tixati]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#52E952"|No, works much like a more Windows inclined version of Transmission. Better than µTorrent in some instances despite no source being available.
|-
| align="left" |[http://www.utorrent.com/ µTorrent] (Pronounced "muTorrent")||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#FF5959"|Just got acquired by BitTorrent Corporation and thanks to uDP favors µTorrent connections over others. Yes.
|-
| align="left" |[http://www.vuze.com/ Vuze]||align="center" |porn, movies, warez,mp3s||align="center" style="background:#FF5959"|It runs on Java. Java is proprietary. Yes.
|}
</center>

== How to properly create a torrent ==
* If video content, edit in a title-credit at the beginning, something like "RiPpEd bY z3r0c00l" with some [[Ear rape|Nickelback]] playing over some CG fire in the background. Alternatively, place a high-contrast watermark in one of the corners or as a bar at the bottom all throughout the feature (bonus points if it's animated!).
* If a DVD-R/ISO image, make sure it's [[shit|PAL full-screen]] and that you don't mention that in the description. Also take out all the extras and commentary, since people only download DVD-R images because they want a 4GB mpeg with a menu.
*Include a couple text and .nfo files that contain information on where to find you and your friends on [[IRC]].
* [[RAR]] everything, split up into 99 files. Everyone will be on broadband but you're actually doing everyone a favor by shaving off those 2 megabytes. This will ensure that people have the same content on their hard drive ''twice'' so the original files can still be seeded. If you are [[scene]], this is mandatory.
* Password that fucker with no less than 30 characters and have a long list of [[Tits or GTFO|things people have to do]] to get the password (most likely clicking your ads somewhere). Why should they get '''''your''''' shit for free?
* Attach your [[docs|hacker alias]] to the resulting torrent's filename, because ripping shit is only getting harder, and people need to know who rules the school (you do).

== How to properly name content ==
* Misspelling is important.
* ''Don't Use Correct Case When Naming Titles''. Notice that ''"when"'' here is capitalized. This is grammatically incorrect and is how it should be done.
* Include apostrophes and other escaped characters such as exclamation marks and ampersands.
* Music
** The folder should be named after the album and not contain the artist's name or year.
** Songs should not contain the track numbers at the beginning of the filename.
* TV
** Series folder names should be just the season name. Example: ''My Little Pony Season 2'' should be named ''Season 2'', '''not''' ''My.Little.Pony.S02.720p.HDTV.x264''
** News-related shows should be named according to the season and episode number, not the date.

== Video Quality Designation ==
* If shot with a camera from a seat in the theater, it is TS.
* If shot from the projection booth with a high quality camera and later synced with a direct audio source then it is a DVDSCR.
* If it is a rip from a DVD meant to go to the [[Jews|academy]] (watermarked, other video irregularities) then it is a DVDRIP.
* If it was ripped from a commercial DVD or [[Bluray]] for consumers then it has no designation and your description shouldn't include screenshots.

==Opponents of BitTorrent==
Anybody smart enough to get out of the [[HTML|http and ftp]] league will, with any luck, make BitTorrent [[No girls on the internet|his]] preferred way of attaining pr0n. Luckily, it doesn't take much [[brain|brains]], and due to frequent [[copyright]] crackdowns BitTorrent is a [[Drama Llama|drama generator]] par excellence. If it gets shut down, the world would witness a drama explosion of such [[epic]] magnitude and proportion that [[Ukraine|Chernobyl]] would look like a urinal [[cake]] in comparison.

In most countries, it is highly illegal to distribute copyrighted material without the permission of the copyright holder. Because of the potential for people to [[steal|try]] [[music]] albums or watch movies prior to purchasing them, copyright holders hate BitTorrent. Because of BitTorrent, users are now capable of sifting through the 99% [[crap]] that copyright holders dish out on the unsuspecting public, and actually enjoy what they watch or listen to.

Many opponents of the BitTorrent protocol like to use the argument that "You wouldn't download a car" as an example of [[Moralfag|why a person should not use a BitTorrent client to download illegal files]]. This argument is rather silly though, considering the fact that if you actually used the BitTorrent protocol to download a car, you could quite possibly end up dead or severely injured due to an automobile flying out of your router. Also, if it were possible, yes, yes [[you]] would. Because if making an exact replica of the car were possible, the owner wouldn't give a fuck if you duplicated it - as opposed to actually stealing it from their possession.

===HTTP Competition===
BitTorrent is slow, time-consuming and insecure even if you use a private tracker. On the other hand, HTTP, which was invented 7 years prior to BitTorrent, offers a higher speed download and upload via SSL Protocol (makes you immune, really). But it requires money. Money requires income. Income requires job. Job requires skill. Skill... We'll leave it at that.

Except that's wrong. When you go with a torrent, you are receiving packets from probably a hundred different people seeding the torrent. With HTTP, it's basically a torrent with exactly one seed.

<center><youtube>I9_hWoGrxWg</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>SLMJpHihykI</youtube></center>

<pre>
<Aaron> just remember. it's ok to steal hearts, why isn't it ok to steal photoshop?
without hearts we die.

Doesn't that seem more sacred?
</pre>

Aaron... '''YOU ARE A PIRATE!!!'''

Even IRC has pirates:

<pre>
«10:32:05» Aaron: !piracy
«10:32:06» fayzeshyfft: YARRRRRRR, you're a pirate now Aaron ! http://www.demonoid.com/
(IT'S BACK BITCHES!!!) & http://thepiratebay.org/ & http://scrapetorrent.com/
& http://torrentreactor.net/ & http://torrentbox.com/ & http://www.fulldls.com/
& http://www.completorrent.com/ & http://torrents.to/ & http://www.btmon.com/
& http://btjunkie.org/ & http://isohunt.com/ & http://sumotorrent.com/
</pre>

==Trackers==
[[Image:DavveywolfBZ.jpg‎ |thumb|250px|right| A typical Private Tracker: a mashup of [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|EGO and PARANOIA]] (eg Davveywolf of TheBox.bz)]]
Just what is a torrent tracker? A BitTorrent tracker is a main [[server]] which assists you in downloading all the music and [[Matt Sanchez|Dirty Sanchez]] porn you could ever imagine. A tracker will serve your [[IP]] to [[random]] people who want to [[fap]] to the same porn that you do. Be careful, [[Mike Sandy]] can get ahold of your [[IP]]. The owners of such Tracker servers feel it necessary to remind you that downloading copyright software, movies, music, and porn is an [[Internet Law|illegal offense]], and that they do not actually have any of those files on the server.

If you use public trackers you will get put in [[jail]] where [[Bubba]] will give you [[extreme]] [[rape]] for your ghastly crimes against the welfare of multi-billionaire "[[sellout|artist]]s" like Snoop Dogg.

A private tracker is a tracker that only [[snob]]s can use. They are generally restricted by passwords and the [[Virgin|users]] are carefully watched to ensure that they are breaking the law just as much as everybody else is. Private trackers usually require an invite code to join which can only be obtained by from a [[Nerd|Member]] of said private tracker site. Occasionally some private tracker sites might "open" up for a weekend or so where people can join without needing an invite code.

[[Last Thursday]] it was determined by the courts that it is illegal to profit from private tracker sites so instead private sites rely heavily on donations from its members to stay on teh [[interwebz]]. Donations are also one way of obtaining invite codes that you can give to random strangers you meet on the internet. You also can get upload credit added to your ratio, a small jew gold star next to your name which will grow your [[e-penis]].

==What Is BitTorrent To You?==
BitTorrent is a lot of things to a lot of people. The [[P2P|protocol]] has opened up the internet to millions of users. It allows the [[You|average nerd]] to see things that were [[Censorship|previously held unseeable]] at a faster rate than ever before. Here are some random thoughts on what the BitTorrent protocol means to the [[typical|average]] [[luser|user]]:

*Hawley: bittorrent is my means to acquire vast amounts of contraband...and sex education films

*wax: [[Lie|bittorrent is about information]].

*Hawley: [[Truth|its a fabulous way to like get lots of porno]] -- thats the gay answer

*wax: its a stage in the quest for perfection in the dissemination of information

*[[zaiger]]: [[Jailbait]]. Lots of it.

*MOARBALLS; great for linux, movies and Hackintosh.

*[[einsidler]]: bittorrent is the thing that is holding back on my gay porn right now.

*wax: DOES BITTORRENT VIOLATE THE LAWS OF NATURE?!

*[[OldDirtyBtard]]: dan: bittorrent means i can [[Theft|steal]] from my former employers, the Jew who run the record companies. Since they didn't compensate me properly, and they rip off the alleged 'artists.' I think my [[Pirate|piracy]] is just.

*[[OldDirtyBtard]]: bittorrrent means never having to say: "i just wasted $20 on the [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|kanye west]] album"

*[[OldDirtyBtard]]: bittorent means i dont have to watch people trying to sell me stuff during a recession while i'm watching my [[Full House|fave shows]]

*Valerie: to me bittorrent is a way to [[Internets|share files]] easily and quickly to many people at once without worrying about hosting fees or the [[RIAA]]fags too much.

*azariel: i actually USE BITTORNENT to get [[Twilight|movies with vampires who have boners]].

*ddog: bittorrent means [[Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder|never having to jerk off to the same thing twice]], dan.

*[[cancerr]]r: dan, its that download thingy.

*flouch: it means i [[Basement-dweller|don't have to leave the house, for anything, even a car]].

*[[tfo]]: it means that I can skim the best music of the past forty years without paying for a fucking thing, and spend that cash on [[Hookers and blow|other things instead]]. GREED IS GOOD.

*Monty: Bittorrent is downloading shit for teh lulz

*R3allybored: It's free movies and shit.

*h64: try before you buy

==Gallery==
<center><gallery perrow="5">
image:torrentporn2.gif
Image:Bt6.jpg|What the average BitTorrent search looks like.
Image:Bt4.gif|The most famous torrent file of all time.
Image:Bt2.jpg|Two seconds after a .gif file is posted in /gif/
Image:Bt1.gif|Silly Scrooge, its all about sharing!
Image:Bt3.jpg|Even dead guys can torrent
Image:Sharing is against the law.jpg
File:Torrentplz.jpg
Image:You Wouldn't Download A Bag Of Dicks.png
Image:Bt5.jpg|Early BitTorrent Clients
File:Pirates.gif
File:ToStupidToTorrentStarterPack.png
File:Scumbag-steve-torrents.jpg
File:ObscureBandProblemsTorrents.jpg
File:Oh-well-im-just-gonna-torrent-it o 2315013.jpg
File:BulbasaurPokemonTorrentmeme.jpeg
File:OatmealTorrentmeme.jpg
File:Please Seed.gif
File:JUST PIRATE IT - meme.PNG
File:Free utorrent sold.jpg
File:Downloading uTorrent Pro on uTorrent.jpg
File:Torrenting Armadillo meme.JPG
</gallery></center>

=="Torrents Day/Happy Torrents Day"==
For those unfamiliar, "Happy Torrents Day" is a "celebration of torrenting" started by [https://katcr.co KickAssTorrents]] user "Mr. Pink" on the original (now-[[v&|seized]]) incarnation of KAT wayyyy back in [[2011]]. Torrents Day arrives every March 30th, with tons of torrent uploaders and releasers uploading torrents to KAT and other torrent sites, and seeding the hell out of them. (If you don't seed ur torrents, you're literal scum and need to [[Die in a fire]].) In addition - there is a [[*chan Soundtracks|soundtrack]] to each year's celebration put together by users of KAT on their forum.

=='''Popular BitTorrent Sites'''(what you came here for)==
Just as there are several BitTorrent clients to download your [[Sick fuck|sick]] [[fetish]] porn, there are also several BitTorrent tracker sites to choose from. Here is a brief (and we mean really brief) list of active tracker sites.
*[http://1337x.to/ 1337x]
*<strike>[http://katcr.co/ KickAss Torrents] - KAT site revived by a mix of old staff from the original KickAss Torrents site, and some new staff. (similar to what happened to ED with [[Operation Restoration]]) </strike> - offline since late 2020
*<strike>[https://torrentz2.eu/ Torrentz2 - DEAD]</strike>
*<strike> [https://soundpark.world SoundPark] - [[Russian]]-based file-sharing site with all kinds of music genres. Sorted by genres too! DEAD</strike>
*[http://thepiratebay.org/ The Pirate Bay] - The Pirate Bay. Site layout hasn't been updated in a fucking decade and they will use your CPU to mine [[Cryptocurrency|crypto]] if you don't have adblock on.
*[https://www.demonoid.pw Demonoid] - Demonoid is [https://torrentfreak.com/demonoid-goes-down-while-owner-remains-missing-180924/ Out Of Commission currently, but may make a return] (yet again.)
*[https://yts.mx/ YTS] - release group inspired by the late YIFY group/site. Same/similar site layout to YIFY and contains most (if not all) of YIFY's releases as well as new YTS releases.
*[https://www.limetorrents.pro/ LimeTorrents]
*<strike>[https://rarbg.to/index80.php RARBG]</strike> - DEAD
*[http://rutracker.org/forum/index.php Rutracker] - In Russian, but if you know how to use it, you might be able to find anything you want without using [[private tracker]]s.
*[https://nyaa.si/ Nyaa] - Used for finding audio, manga, subbed anime, and other shit. Sadly you can't download hentai or anything NSFW on here, so go [[GTFO|somewhere else]] or go [[IRL|outside]].

'''PRO-TIP:''' Use a [[VPN]] faggots!

==See Also==

*[[Bram Cohen]] - creator of BitTorrent
*[[Azureus]]
*[[The Pirate Bay]]
*[[Leeching]] & [[Seed Plz|Seeding]]
*[[R@ygold]]
*[[Deadfrog]]
*[[OINK]]
*[[What.cd]]
*[[Waffles.fm]]
*[[P2P]]
*[[Private tracker]]
*[[uTorrent]]
*[[aXXo]]

[[Category:Tutorials]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
{{softwarez}}
{{serious}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 30, [[2018]]|[[Wimmins]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[In the kitchen]]}}

File:Scumbag-steve-torrents.jpg

2024-11-09T22:14:03Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Restored)

== Summary ==
Image Restoration (Restored)

File:Nutcoin in a bitshell.jpg

2024-11-09T22:07:20Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Restored)

== Summary ==
Image Restoration (Restored)

Albino Blacksheep

2024-11-09T14:11:07Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Restored)

[[Image:DooDooCaca ending.JPG|thumb|[[zOMG]] this shit is so funny [[lol]]olo[[lollercaust]]!!![[oneoneone|1]]]]
[[Image:Albino_black_sheep_run.png‎|thumb|Screenshot of ABS' most addictive game: [http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/run Run]]]
'''Albino Blacksheep''' is a [[shit]]ty website where one can find scores of [[unfunny]] [[flash]] animations and games. Despite lacking in [[lulz]], some consider the site to be [[1337]]. These people have not gone through teh puberty yet, and think that everything is [[random]]. Albino Blacksheep is where animations go to die. Honestly the only good thing to come out of ABS is [http://zaf.oembboe.org/ ZAF]

On the other hand, it's better than [[eBaumsworld]].

==Albino Blacksheep's Lulz method ==
Albino Blacksheep users have created a cult around a type of animation technique called [[Animutation]], beginning with the first [[Animutation]] of "[[Neil Cicierega|The Japanese Pokerap]]." All flash videos following this original are usually referred to as [[Shit|Fanimutations]].

With this guide, you too can create your own fanimutation!!

# Find a "hilarious" song in a foreign language. Use Japanese for best results.
# Search for "[[random]]" [http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&safe=off&um=1&sa=1&q=random&btnG=Search+Images&aq=f&oq= *], "[[Goatse|disturbing]]" [http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&safe=off&um=1&sa=1&q=disturbing&btnG=Search+Images&aq=f&oq= *] or "[[13-year-old boy|I'm a 13 year old and I find this funny]]" [http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&safe=off&um=1&sa=1&q=I%27m+a+13+year+old+and+I+find+this+funny&btnG=Search+Images&aq=f&oq= *] using Google image search.
# Using bad cut and paste, add as many of these images to a new Flash MX project.
# Poorly cut mouth from 1-all of images and cause it to move. If it's movement matches with the words/music you selected, [[you are doing it wrong]].
# Send in to [http://www.albinoblacksheep.com Albinoblacksheep.com]
# [[????]]
# ... [[????]]

== [[YouTube|Jewtube]] ==
Albinoblacksheep also has a [http://www.youtube.com/user/albinoblacksheep jewtube account] where they upload their [[fucktard]]ed flash animations as videos. Here are a few examples:

<center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: red;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>IJ1D0A3Ns30</youtube>|<youtube>FKmoPbXQB5k</youtube>|<youtube>wal3rFcI4b4</youtube>}} </center>
{{Squote|I gonna have nightmares tonight. |Some youtuber after watching an ABS vid|color=silver||size=360%}}

These videos are clear evidence that all of ABS animations are completely [[random]] shit that only [[You|greasy, acne ridden teens]] would find funny. For more [[shit|animations]] see below.

=="Notable" Animations==
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgers Badgers badgers badgers]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shavecut forehead shavecut]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bukkake.php I Like Bukkake]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php The End of the World]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/doodoocaca.php DooDooCaca]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/mudah WRYYYYYYYYYY]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/mario Mario Twins]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kittycat Kitty Cat Dance]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/dumbdinosaur Dumb Dinosaur]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/hotpotato Hot Potato]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/strawberry The Evil Strawberry]
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/papasmurf The Smurfs Lost Episode]

== Links ==
*[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/ ABS homepage] also has [http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/ games]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/albinoblacksheep Jewtube account]

== External links ==

{{sites}}

Talk:Albino Blacksheep

2024-11-09T13:57:45Z

Firatpen: /* Missing image. */

== Missing image. ==

This is the only image that's still missing on the article. You can remove the hide tags ( <nowiki></nowiki> ) around the image on the article after you've reuploaded it. 

[[File:Albino black sheep run.png]] 

[[User_talk:DekoMan91|DekoMan91]] [[image:Dekoman_signature01.png|40px]] 14:15, 7 April 2012 (EDT)

:Replaced it with another one. Sorry for being 13 years late. [[User_talk:Firatpen|Firatpen]] 13:55, 9 November 2024 (UTC)

File:Albino black sheep run.png

2024-11-09T13:52:13Z

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== Summary ==
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Alexa

2024-11-09T13:45:48Z

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[[File:Alexa encyclopediadramatica traffic.jpg|thumb|right|ED experiencing slow traffic]]

'''Alexa''' is a popular [[spyware]] that comes preinstalled with all [[Windows]] installations. It tracks [[i see what you did there|what you are doing]] and reports it back to Alexa. Alexa is also used to decide where a page ends up when using [[Google]] which can attract many more users to the website. This caused the cycle of failure which attracts people to [[Wikipedia]] leading them to believe that it is a real encyclopedia, and also here which is one way to derive [[Hamtaro's Theory]].

They also try to sell you used books at double price and subscriptions for virtual magazines.

==What Alexa has to say about [[EDiots]]==

"Relative to the overall population of internet users, the site's audience tends to be under the age of 35; they are also [[over 9000|disproportionately]] [[virgin|childless]] [[white|Caucasians]] and [[no girls on the internet|men]] browsing from school and [[basement dweller|home]] who [[losers|are not college graduates]]."

==External Links==
*[http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/encyclopediadramatica.com Check how e-popular the old ED was!]
*<strike>[http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/encyclopediadramatica.ch# Check out how popular it is now!]</strike> [http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/encyclopediadramatica.rs# Second edition comes to the rescue!!!]
*[http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/ohinternet.com# And check also OhInternet endless downfall!]

{{sites}}
{{stub}}

360 Kid

2024-11-09T13:40:19Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (File name corrected)

[[Image:Xbawks2.png|thumb|He's showing you online.]]
[[Image:2006holidayguide.jpg|thumb|The source in full. Ave Maria!]]
The '''360 kid''' (a.k.a., the Ecksbawks Kid) is another [[meme]] spurting forth from the [[fat|blubbery]] [[ass|confines]] of [[V/|/v/]], originating from a sales flyer that advertised the [[Xbox 360]] along with a picture of a [[retarded]] [[13 year old boy|teenage boy]] with braces, sharing his two cents on the [[fail|awesome power]] that is the 360.

{{squote|The great thing about the 360 isn't beating the games, it's showing everyone online that I did.|360 kid}}

Of course, it wouldn't take long for the [[Virgin|/v/irgins]] and [[B/tard|/b/tards]] to [[rape|take advantage of]] the Ecksbawks kid by plastering his oblivious expression onto anyone and anything capable of [[lulz]]. Because of this, any Xbox related thread you come across on [[EbaumsWorld|4chan]] will definitely feature the 360 kid.

==Relevant [[JewTube]] Video==
<center>
<youtube>5KB9qKguWiY</youtube>
</center>
 

==The great thing about a gallery isn't making endless versions of an old meme, it's showing everyone online that we did==

{{cg|Gallery|360kidgallery|center|<gallery>

Image:Drawnexbawks.png|The great thing about being drawn isn't being portrayed as a [[you|retarded nerd]], it's showing everyone online that I am.
Image:360 kid rape.png|The great thing about [[rape]] isn't forcing myself upon a woman, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Coolmudkip.png|The great thing about being a [[Mudkip]] isn't being lieked by everybody, it's showing everyone online that I am.
Image:Solid snake ecksbawks.JPG|The great thing about destroying Metal Gear isn't saving the world from a nuclear [[holocaust]], it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Aymeedakahp.png|The great thing about being part of a 16 year old autistic boy's bizarre sex fantasies isn't getting my entire family to make YouTube accounts, it's showing everyone online I did.
Image:Crash_Bandicoot_HD.png|The great thing about being Crash Bandicoot in HD isn't getting my ED article removed for unfunny and fail, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:360 kid Okami.png|The great thing about being [[Okami|a celestial goddess]] isn't painting the sun in the sky, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Josef_fritzl360.jpg|[[Josef Fritzl|The great thing about a basement isn't locking your daughter in it, it's showing everyone online that I did.]]
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:VS360b.PNG|[[VampiricSpektor|The great thing about having a lump on my forehead isn't having psychic powers, it's showing everyone online that I do.]]
Image:Billymaysecksbawks.png|[[Billy Mays]] here to tell you the great thing about getting double your order of oxiclean isn't about getting it free, it's telling everyone online that you did.
Image:Subzeroexbawks.png|The great thing about ''[[Mortal Kombat]]'' isn't performing fatalities, it's showing everyone in Earthrealm that I did.
Image:Toosoongoody.jpg|The great thing about being [[Jade Goody]] isn't dying of cancer, It's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Cito.jpg|The great thing about being Cito [[Gaston]] isn't about being Cito [[Gaston]], It's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:360Pikachu.JPG|[[Pikaman|The greatest thing about the Thunder attack isn't electrocuting everyone, it's showing everyone in Viridian City that I did.]]
Image:RL360kid.jpg|The great thing about being the [[360 kid]] isn't being a meme, it's showing everyone [[IRL]] that I am.
Image:Exbawexploitable.PNG|The great thing about [[Oh Exploitable]] isn't making more funny pictures, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Mootlexbawks.png|The great thing about [[4chan]] isn't [[Moot|wishing to be the little girl]], it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Narutoexbawks.jpg|The great thing about ninjitsu isn't [[Naruto|believing it]], it's [[Codey Porter|burying your head in the sand box]].
File:Gothzillakid.png|[[Gothzilla|The great thing about chugging NyQuil isn't getting high, it's showing everyone online that I did]].
Image:360 Naruto.jpg|The great thing about being a fuck-ugly Naruto character isn't that my face is squished together, it's showing everyone in Konoha that I am.
Image:Miscarriage360Kid.png|[[CTRL_ALT_Delete|The great thing about miscarriage isn't geting an abortion, It's showing everyone online I did.]]
Image:Xbawksryuk.PNG|The great thing about the Death Note isn't killing people, it's showing everyone online I did
Image:360kidmachinecode.jpg|The great thing about [[Machine Code]] isn't trying to understand it, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Trapsbawks.png|The great thing about the assault on the Death Star isn't discovering [[it's a trap]], it's showing everyone in the Alliance that I did.
Image:Cardcrushxbox.jpg|The great thing about [[Card Crusher|this meme]] isn't letting people down, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:SonichuWillShowYouOnline.png|The great thing about [[Chris-chan]] isn't trying to find a boyfriend-free girl, it's showing everyone online that he did.
Image:360_ALT.png|[[LadyALT69|The great thing about loving a video game character isn't making porn of it, it's showing everyone online that I did.]]
Image:Ecksbawkzdarkness.png|[[Darknessthechao333|The great thing about lying about my friend's death]] isn't the trauma, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Jewxbawks.png|The great thing about Jew isn't grieving, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Gokugeek2.PNG|The great thing about being Goku isn't powering up [[Over_9000|over 9,000]], it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Kant360.jpg|The great thing about the philosophy isn't destroying arguments, it's showing everyone online that I did.
File:Mellow.jpg‎| The great thing about acting like a super hero isn't looking like a tremendous douche, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Kuririn360kid.png|The great thing about Son Goku isn't going [[Over 9000|over nine thousand]], it's showing everyone online that he did.
Image:Chellexbawks.png|The great thing about [[Portal|portals]] isn't thinking with them, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Ocelotexbawks.png|The great thing about The Patriots isn't stealing [[Metal Gear Solid|Metal Gear]], it's showing everyone online that we did.
Image:360 kid shiki.PNG|The great thing about [[The Game|The Reaper's Game]] isn't having my identity stolen, [[The World Ends With You|it's showing everyone in the UG that I did.]]
Image:EXBAWKSBrobee.PNG|The great thing about the party in my tummy isn't eating the carrots, it's showing everyone in Gabbaland that I did.
Image:360 kid house.png|[[House|The great thing about being right isn't solving the case, it's showing everyone at the hospital that I did.]]
Image:360 kid haha.png|[[HA! HA! Guy|The great thing about using the internet isn't showing them online, it's showing everyone... oh, wait.]]
Image:360 kid german.jpg|The great thing about being [[Germany|Führer]] isn't tearing up the Treaty of Versailles, it's showing [[France]] and [[Britain]] that I did.
Image:360 kid mah boi.jpg|Show them online, [[LINK MAH BOIIIII|MAH BOIIIII]]!
Image:Codey porter xbawks.JPG|The great thing about sand isn't [[Codey Porter|dying in it]], its showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Rain360.JPG|The great thing about Chocolate Rain isn't talking about black history, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Gandalfgeek.PNG|The great thing about being a wizard isn't about putting on my robe and wizard hat, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Osamabawks.png|The great thing about Jihad isn't killing infidels, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Elfinanal.jpg|The great thing about elfin anal isn't about getting AIDS, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Xboxchef.jpg|The great thing about making a sandwich isn't eating it, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:100_0399.JPG|The great thing about being president isn't [[Lies|denying I had sexual relations with that woman,]] it's showing everyone online that I didn't.
Image:DESU_360_kid.png|The great thing about desu isn't desu, it's showing everyone online that I desu.
Image:360chair.jpg|The official 360 Kid chair.
Image:360colbert.jpg|The great thing about being [[Stephen Colbert]] isn't being awesome, its showing all my viewers how awesome I am.
Image:360 kid linetrap.jpg|[[Linetrap]]
Image:Zimmer360.png|The best thing about Men's Warehouse isn't that [[George Zimmer|I guarantee it]], it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Avatarkid.png|The great thing about being the [[Avatar the Last Airbender|Avatar]] isn't mastering the elements, its showing the Fire Lord that I did.
Image:360kidTF2.png|Showing online.
Image:Zach_175.jpg|The great thing about being a [[Midget]] on a [[Shit|shitty]] show isn't being an inbred gnome, it's showing every zealous fan that I am.
Image:Hankpooper.jpg|[[Hank Hill|The great thing about using Propane isn't completely avoiding the use of Charcoal, it's showing everyone online that I do.]]
Image:360cockmongler.png|[[Cockmongler|The great thing about cock isn't mongling the cocks, it's showing everyone online that I did.]]
Image:360furry.jpg|The great part about owning a pink car isn't coordinating it to my fursona, it's showing all the furries on the internet that I did.
Image:360_kid_-k-.png|The great part about being an OPERATOR isn't OPERATING, it's showing all of /k/ that I did.
Image:Geek_branca.jpg|The great thing about [[Mary-Sue|self-insert]] isn't [[Branca|fucking a cartoon]], it's showing everyone online that I did. *giggle*
Image:Exbawpool2.jpg|The great thing about [[AIDS]] isn't [[Pools_Closed|Closing the Pool]], it's showing the racist [[Habbo]] moderators that we did.
Image:Thatfuckingnerd.JPG|[[That Fucking Cat|The greatest thing about being that fucking cat isn't being seen, it's showing everyone online that I was.]]
Image:DBoy_360.JPG|The great thing about being a [[DBoyWheeler|bible fag]] isn't being homophobic, it's showing everyone online I am.
Image:Kawaii_360.jpg|The great thing about photoshop isn't [[amuria|abusing the dodge tool]], it's showing everyone on [[DA]] that I do.
Image:Chis contest by KawaiiNekoGirl.jpg|The greatest thing about being [[KawaiiNekoGirl|a famous mangaka]] isn't the dedication to art, it's showing everyone online what you can draw.
Image:ThebestthingaboutbeingRJ.jpg|The great thing about being from Belgium isn't eating nothing but waffles, it's showing everyone online that I do.
Image:Drawnexbawks.jpg|The great thing about being Chris Hansen isn't catching predators and telling them to take a seat right over there, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:AzadRouhani2.jpg|The great thing about [[SpleeNfat|being extremely butthurt about ED]] isn't saying [[Lie|I'm a troll]], but telling everyone online that I am.
Image:Flapjack 360.png|The great thing about Candied Island isn't finding it, Its showing everyone on Stormalong that I did.
Image:Armandaxboxkidec2.jpg|The great thing about being [[AniutqaDA]] isn't tracing and recoloring, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Ecksbawks ike.png|The great thing about my friends isn't fighting for them, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:360goronchevclose2.jpg|The great thing about [[Intellectual Checkmate]] isn't destroying ED, it's showing everyone on [[YouTube]] that I did.
Image:ECKSBAWKSCRISP.png|The great thing about [[Brandon Crisp|getting your 360 taken away]] isn't dying in the snow, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:home360.jpg|The great thing about somehow lasting 20 seasons isn't the money , it's showing everyone in [[The Simpsons|Springfield]] that I did.
Image:lenny360.jpg|The great thing about the [[Dental Plan]] isn't the braces , it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Alex_360_kid.JPG|The great thing about farming one of our most beloved franchises out to a lazy Western developer isn't cutting the budget by 75%, it's showing everyone online that we did.
Image:Cartman360.jpg|The great thing about hating the [[Jews]] isn't showing everyone on TV I did, it's showing everyone on TV I did.
Image:Batman360.jpg|The great thing about being [[Batman]] isn't breaking my one rule, it's showing everyone in Gotham I did.
Image:Joker360kid.jpg|The great thing about being the [[Joker]] isn't killing the Batman, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:360black.jpg |The great thing about being a black person isn't being a slave, it's showing everyone online that I am.
Image:360kidmsavatar.jpg|The great thing about avatars isn't showing everyone online who I am, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Lolme360kid.png|[[User:Angelinriotgear|The best thing about xbox 360 isn't buying it, it's paying for it entirely in]] [[lioncash]].
Image:360Jeff.jpg|[[User:Killerjeff|The great thing about humanity isn't killing them, it's showing everyone online that I did.]]
Image:Xboxx360kid.png|[[Boxxy|The best thing about my Gaiaonline friends isn't making videos for them, it's showing /b/ online that I did.]]
Image:Kevin_Glenn_Will_Show_You_Online.jpg|The greatest thing about [[Kenny_Glenn_The_Animal_Abuser|abusing cats]] isn't the sadistic pleasure. It's showing everyone online that I did!
Image:Michelleis360Kid.jpg|The great thing about lying to people isn't hurting them, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:KANYE.jpg|[[Imma Let You Finish|The great thing about being a egotistical douchebag isn't interrupting a white girl accepting an award, it's showing everyone online that I did.]]
Image:360HinaUchi.PNG|The great thing about being in a relationship isn't about being in a relationship, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image:Potato kid.jpg|The great thing about being Mr. Potatohead isn't having interchangeable facial features, it's showing everyone online that I do.
Image:XBox 360 Beatrice.jpg|The great part about being a witch isn't killing people, It's showing Battler that I did.
Image:Troll derp.JPG|The great thing about being troll isn't flippin' out mon, it's showing everyone online that I did.
Image: Xbox nigra.png|360's closed.
Image: The great thing about backstabbing isnt dominating everyone its showing everyone on my team that i d5d4aed30f1eda177dc78be1162d1a79a.jpg|The great thing about backstabbing isn't dominating BLU, it's showing everyone on RED that I did.
File:360fesazuki.jpg|The great thing about being [[Fesazukichan|retarded]] isn't lacking drawing skills, it's showing everyone online that I do.
File:Sagatxbox.png|The great thing about [[street_fighter_2|Sagat]] isn't defeating him, it's telling everybody online that no one ever will.
File:Zombi.jpg|The great thing about being a [[zombie]] isn't ripping out your eyeballs, it's showing everyone online that I did.
File:360kod.jpg|[[Woll Smoth|The grot thong abot tho 360 osn't boting tho gomes, ot's showong overyone onlone thot Oi dod.]]
Image:Ecksbawks_dashie.png|The great thing about performing the sonic rainboom isn't being awesome, it's showing everyone online that I am.
File:Jfk.jpg|The greatest thing about being president wasn't riding around in fancy convertibles, it was showing everyone in Dallas I did, ER-UH.
File:360 kids sister.jpg|360 Kid's IRL sister
File:Bill Gates XBox 360 Kid meme.png
</gallery>}}

==External Links==
'''[http://www.360kid.com/ Official website]'''
{{template:memes}}
{{4chanarchive|49109059|An Exbawks kid Christmas special}}

[[Category: Memes]]
[[Category: Gaming]]
[[Category:Chans]]

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2024-11-09T01:58:23Z

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2024-11-09T01:57:42Z

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File:Sunday gotham.png

2024-11-09T01:57:00Z

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File:123Dr.Decker1234.jpg

2024-11-09T01:55:25Z

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File:Bat Piñata.gif

2024-11-09T01:22:57Z

Firatpen: Firatpen uploaded a new version of File:Bat Piñata.gif

File:Bat Piñata.gif

2024-11-09T01:17:40Z

Firatpen: Firatpen uploaded a new version of File:Bat Piñata.gif

File:Batpussy.png

2024-11-09T01:05:48Z

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Bisexual

2024-11-09T01:02:20Z

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[[Image:James-Dean.jpg|thumb|Male bisexual in its natural habitat.]]

[[File:OrgySurprise.gif|thumb|Surprise!]]

Bisexuality, (Noun.): The ability to reach down any person's pants and be satisfied with whatever you may find (except for a small penis).
# A [[fag]] that just says he's a bi to make it seem like less of a [[fail]].
# A [[fag]] who has installed a window in his closet.
# A [[fag]] who is really straight, but he wants girls to think he's uber 1337 and hawt.
# Someone who is just being [[Jews|greedy]].

Not to be confused with the [[Fake Bisexual]], who are known for their addiction to [[LOL WUT|BBQ-Ripple flavored ice cream]], vague attraction to [[Techno|electronic music]] and fondness for deviant sex with anything that has a pulse ([[Necrophilia|preferably]]), Bisexuals are known for their great ability to be attracted to both genders, therefore giving them better chance to have a fuck. The popularity of bisexuality indicates that it's most likely a retarded [[Jonas_brothers|fad]].
{|style="margin: auto;"
|<youtube>tmcNY9R_r9k</youtube> 
|}
<center>
<big>'''The theme song to bisexuality.'''</big>
</center>

==Characteristics==
[[File:Wolf Ruckus.jpg|thumb|Bisexuals love Threesomes]]
Real bisexuals have the following common traits, also known as superpowers:
#Ability to make everyone jealous and horny at the same time
#Superpower of wanting to sleep with everyone except [[you]]
#Superpower of annoying [[DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS|breeders]] and [[fags]] in equal measure
#Cry A LOT when they are made fun of
#Ability to eat [[pussy]] while taking it [[in the ass]]
#Disturbing tendency to mouth off when someone gives them shit (when they don't have [[cock|something else]] in their mouth, that is).

[[File:4a28596d00000578-5496665-image-m-8-1520970966618.jpg|thumb|Andrew Leach, bisexual and an hero. Bullied in school because of his bisexuality, Andrew [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5496665/Mom-shares-photo-dead-son-killed-bullied.html nonetheless prevailed] by becoming an hero.]]Bisexuals are [[insane]], depressed and suffer from teh emo, except [[nevar|when they don't]]. Their sickening ambiguity causes most right-thinking people to get [[Centipede filled vagina|sand in their vagina]] and constantly carp on about their sexual indecision. Nearly all bisexuals are successful [[trap|traps]], which annoys [[fags]] and [[bulldykes]] as they fail badly at impersonating the other sex in comparison. It may also annoy [[breeder|heteros]] since most would not appreciate the fact Sally Jane has a large [[cock]] and a hairy ass.

Any group of bisexuals will generally be more alive than their monosexual counterparts, because as we all know, bis are all rampaging sex vampires from the planet BBQ-Ripple and can't wait to [[Mr. Hands|shag anything with a pulse]]. Apart from [[you]], of course.

A good litmus test for the different shades of [[faggotry]] can be quickly deciphered by the following conditions:

== Types of Bisexual ==
=== Real bisexual ===
[[Image:LadyJ bipic.jpg|thumb|right|Classic bisexual behavior.]]

*Moderately talented (a large amount of the time at sucking [[cock]])
*Takes all kinds of drugs or alcohol sometimes all at once
*Constantly listening to Portishead
*Changes personal image and fashion sense every two seconds, reports of bisexuals wandering around in costumes of planets and flowers they stole from the fancy dress store are commonplace
*Possesses a disgustingly alien, inhuman, [[succubus]]-like personality
*Suffers from [[schizophrenia]]
*[[Women|Does not exist on the internet]]
*Only careers able to fund cocaine habit and elitism are acting, [[Fanfiction|writing]], [[music]] and [[art school|art]]
*Often confuses [[cock]] for phallic objects such as guitars or shotguns
*Writes traditional diaries or journals, often with [[goth|blood]]
*[[Scientologist|Resembles an alien more than a human and does not look male or female]]

If you notice, all bisexuals are successful actors, such as [[Justin Bieber]]. Why you may ask? Because they have the sensitivity of a faggot, and the confidence of a dirty, dirty [[normal person|heterosexual]]. Thus creating the perfect entertainer, especially when it had to do with love and romance.

=== [[Fake bisexual]] ===

*One who fills none of the conditions of the above, yet claims to be.

See main article for [[batshit insane|helpful]] [[suicide|tips]] on how to deal with [[raep|such a person]]. May have been brainwashed by [[Aneros]].
Best dealt with by multiple slaps to the face. This helps get the bi virus away.

=== [[Faggot]] / [[fagette]] ===
[[Image:3some.jpg|thumb|Bisexual sex]]

*Possesses a disgustingly bitchy and shallow personality
*Talented at taking it [[up the ass]] - any other talent is delusional
*Narcotics include poppers, [[meth]], white wine spritzer and [[cock]]
*Image range varies from [[Williamsledd|metrosexual]], to [[bear]], to [[Jeffree Star|tranny]], to [[GayGod|pseudo emo]]
*Suffers from [[internet disease]]
*Exists everywhere on the internet
*Careers include [[internet celebrity]], barman and [[prostatot]]
*[[gaydar|Ability to spot real cock]] is superior
*Writes blogs
[[Image:marlena-dietrich.jpg|thumb|Traditional costume.]]
*Tries hardest to look and act like the opposite sex, yet claims to be "[[Chris Crocker|genderqueer]]"

Bisexuality, in this case, is used to make fags seem less like a fag, by accompanying a normal sexuality in order to "soften" it.

=== [[Emosexual]] ===

*Is an [[emo]], [[scene]] kid or [[hipster]] fag.
*Draws a sense of sexual satisfaction from photoshop.
*Should be [[raep]]d hard by [[Bubba|sweet, sweet Bubba]] until they admit they are not bi. Emos may, however, like the [[buttsex|bleeding on their ass]] since it's a all-new way of [[cut]]ting, as well as having something great to whine about.
*Aren't gay because they experimented with their friends and called it [[not gay]] because Girls think Bi guys are HAWT
*Is gayer than most things.

=== Bi-curious ===
[[Image:Bicurious.jpg|thumb|right|How to explain daddy's new 'special friend' to your eight-year-old.]]

Generally, bi-curious people with [[cock]] crave [[teh]] [[cock]] while those with [[pu55y]] crave [[teh]] [[pu55y]], but are too chicken-shit to do anything about it. Others, however, like fake bisexuals are merely in it for the street cred (e.g. [[Daddy's Money Lesbian]]).

It is common for [[virgin]]s to be bi-curious, and often they will have sex with the same gender before having sex with the opposite gender. This often causes them to realize they were actually never really bisexual in the first place. Bi-curious people who only have sex with the same gender often consider themselves [[homosexual]], but make the same discovery that they were really horny and desperate.

[[kittens|Breeder]]s often confess their bi-curiosity to [[fag]]s in an attempt to create some kind of [[cocksucker]] solidarity. What they fail to realize, however, is that this is as [[lame]] as telling a [[black]] guy you once had a really deep tan.

In other words, a bi-curious woman is any girl who has had at least 2 or 3 beers. A bi-curious man is a gay man who hasn't come fully out yet as a faggot.

==Exceptions==
[[Image:David-Bowie.jpg|thumb|right|David Bowie, [[Celebrity|world-renowned]] bisexual musician. He's fucking dead now.]]

Scientists and gas station attendants estimate there are approximately 71 actual bisexual people in the world. They include [[Bald|Vin Diesel]], Channing Tatum, [[Fat|Roseanne]], [[Lady GaGa]], [[Ann Coulter]] and [[User:Hoveround|Hoveround]]. All of these people are sick [[pedo|perverts]] and should be approached only with Kevlar underwear and a drink-spiking test kit.

==See also==

*[[Agnostic]]
*[[Attention whore]]
*[[Drama]] ([[Drama queen|queen]]/[[Drama whore|whore]])
*[[Emosexuality]]
*[[Girl Drama]]
*[[Lesbian]]
*[[Moralfag]]
*[[Ron Paul|Third-party voter]]
*[[Wicca]]
*[[Wimmins]]

== External Links ==

* {{ljcomm|user=bisexual}}
* {{ljcomm|user=bicuriousgirls}} - PLEASE TROLL ASAP
* {{ljcomm|user=anti_bisexual}} - Group of people that hate [[you]]
* {{ljcomm|user=anti_alt_sexual}} - 'Bisexuality' is also mocked by this fine community, along with pretty much everything else beyond heterosexuality.
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Bisexual_Wikipedians Wikipedians trying to fit in with the cool gay kids without having to actually take it in the ass.]

{{lezz}}

[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:Sex]]

Asia

2024-11-09T00:50:00Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

[[File:ChineseCitizen.jpg|thumb|A typical [[Azn|Asian Citizen]].]]
[[File:Asiaalbum.jpg|thumb|Now with Rainbow Dragons.]]

'''Asia''' is a massive slab of small-penisry and fail that stretches from the eastern edge of the [[Russia|Soviet Union]] all the way to that [[Japan|island where they make all that sick pornography]]. The men are uniformly short and small-cocked, and the women, "women", are dubiously gendered. All Asians have slanted eyes and noses that look like they were smashed with a hammer, yellowish skin, and a lot of them have buck teeth and poor eyesight. To sum up their appearance, they look like they were farted on by a fat, [[Americunts|Americunt]] [[Wapanese|weeaboo]] who ate too many egg rolls whilst jacking off to his [[Lolicon|loli]] collection, rendering the poor creatures to look like horribly disfigured piss monkeys. Asia is noted for posessing some of the [[China|largest landmasses that contain absolutely no win]]. Some win was detected in Japan, but upon mineral survey it was found to be contaminated with dangerous levels of weeaboocite. This did not stop thousands of American [[teenager|prospectors]] from trying to mine it. The [[weeaboo|condition]] that results from exposure is hideous.

The primary value of Asia to the rest of the world lies in their sheer numbers. Most Asian countries are so overpopulated, a human life is worth less than a coon in Tennessee. This allows them to mass produce electronics with slave labor, and farm large amounts of rice and tea for weeb faggots in oher countries to consume. It is also the last bastion of Communism, at least until [[Black_Jesus|Obama]] launches his red revolution. And last, but certainly not least, Asia is the world's number one source of sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet underage child sex. That and [[Thailand|tranny dick]], tangy, tangy, tangy, tranny dick.
<center> <youtube>9-nXT8lSnPQ</youtube></center>

[[File:asiansdrive.jpg|thumb|While Asian countries are known to produce awesome cars, most of their people can't drive worth a shit as evidenced here]].]]

== Contributions to the Rest of the World ==

* [[Animu]]
* Cheap [[crap]]
* Fortune cookies, Taoism, Confucianism, Dragon worship lol
* [[Baby fuck]], [[TITTY MONSTER]], and [[Yaranaika]]
* [[Influenza|Bird flu]],Stds,[[Disease|SARS]] and the [[Disease|Black Death]]
* [[Bukkake]], [[guro]], [[hentai]], [[shibari]], [[lolicon]], [[shotacon]], [[toddlercon]], [[yaoi]], ecchi and [[yuri]]
* [[OM NOM NOM|Doing wonders]] for the [[dog|canine]] and [[cat|feline]] population
* [[Eel girl]] and [[Tubgirl]]
* [[Final Fantasy]], [[Gyakuten Saiban]], [[Katamari Damacy]], [[Kirby]], [[Legend of Zelda]], [[Mario]], [[Okami]], [[Pikmin]], [[Pokémon]], [[Resident Evil]], [[Silent Hill]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], and [[Power Rangers|Super Sentai]]
* Glorious contributions to [[global climate change]]
* [[Gun]]s
* [[Hippies|Humanitarians]], including Cruel Chinese Emperors, [[Mao Zedong]], [[Pol Pot]] and [[Japan|Emperor Shōwa]]
* [[I LIEK MILK]]
* Animal cruelty
* [[Japanese Bug Fights]]
* [[Nintendo]]
* [[PAPER MARIO SCREENCAP|Paper]]
* [[Playstation]], [[Playstation 2]], [[Playstation 3]], Playstation 4 and Playstation 4.5 [[Matrix|NEO]]
* [[Pocky]] and [[ramen]]
* Shitty plastic toys
* Smaller, more efficient versions of [[cars]], [[cell phone]]s, [[computers]], [[women]], [[etc]].
* [[Tamagotchi]]
* [[Terrorist]]s of all sorts
* [[Tunak]]
* [[pedophilia|underage children]]
* Sweatshops
* Domestic violence
* Rape
* Illegal immigration
* Multiculturalism!
* [[hentai]]

== The Land of Communism ==

There are more [[socialist]] countries in Asia than any other continent in the world. Cambodia, China, Japan, Laos, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nepal, North Korea, Thailand, Singapore, Vietnam and in the near future (if you take your cue from [[New Hampshire]] [[survivalist]]s), all of the countries of Asia. These gooks are responsible for genocides, horrific and brutal [[torture]], [[buttsecks|blatant human rights violations]], [[Iraq|unjust wars]], [[trolling IRL|unimaginably evil acts]] of [[animal abuse|animal cruelty]], (such as cooking and skinning dogs and cats alive), and the utter and [[censorship|complete suppression]] of their citizens. These commie gooks and their evils/atrocities, will never be brought to [[justice]] for their crimes because its "[[racist]]" to bring [[Azns]] to justice. It is simply something most people just ignore in hopes these commie scum don't bring their disease to the civilized world!

==Pastimes==
Asians are renowned for their shoe-sewing skills and are known to enjoy running people over and eating rice. A common game played in Asia is called ''Find Waawdo'' which is the same as ''Find [[Where's Waldo?|Waldo]]'' in western countries, except far, far more difficult, given that all Asian people look exactly the same. Typical places featured in Find Waawdo include shoe-sewing factories and rice paddies. 
It is well known that all Asian's brains have an expiry date at which time they finally crack, pull out the knife and stab the [[Nevada-tan|nearest]] [[Tim McLean|person]].

==Cultures==
Asia is home to many ancient and sophisticated cultures which developed such modern technologies as [[India|burning women alive]] and [[China|pollution]]. Many Asians now celebrate this glorious past by trying to act like [[Rap|black people]].

No Asian culture places any value on human life at all, for [[Kamikaze|themselves]], their families, or [[Pol Pot|others]]. For this reason they tend to live in gigantic clusters in small houses, which results in enormous disasters (ie, "Pickup Truck Rolls Over In Jakarta - Three Thousand Killed, Fifty Thousand Left Homeless").

==Countries==
There are many countries in Asia and most of them don't matter. A few that you may know are:

[[China]], where most of the West's industry is now located, filled with a writhing mass of people who will cheat, steal, lie, and kill you in their passion to rule the world. Hated by the Japanese.

[[Myanmar]], pretty much China's bitch, the one where the local [[gooks]] blend in with the pagodas. currently raping the [[sandniggers|towelfags]] in the up the ass for the lulz, much to the dismay of [[Retards|The UN]]

[[Japan]], the chosen land of sad losers and pedophiles the world over. They hate you and everyone else who isn't Japanese, and they're shrinking. Will probably be annexed by China in a century or so once they've ceased to matter anymore.

[[Korea]], sort of like a mini-China but much less interesting. The Japanese & chinese hate them the most of all, and want them all dead. Also half of the country is run by a dying maniac and his fat retarded son, so remains good for many lulz to come.

[[Singapore]], another mini-china yet capitalistic and much better of than the rest of Southeast Asia.

[[Indonesia]], a country that really hates China. Despite the Chinese locals being kind to them, the Indonesians kill them in return for their kindness. Tries too hard to exceed China, even by littering, plastic pollution and mental retardation.

[[Vietnam]], mostly interesting because of their success in killing Americans many years ago, nowadays hosts a lot of hipster vacationers. Probably hated by the Japanese.

[[Thailand]], cheap prostitutes and expat [[priest|boy]][[Islam|fuckers]]. Probably hated by the Japanese as well.

[[Philippines]], most Western Southeast Asian country and culturally closer to [[Spic]]s than to [[Gooks]], once a Bitch of [[Jewnited States of Americunts]]

[[India]], a huge filthy crowded slum of a country. Somehow manages to run a space program and a high tech industry despite the vast incompetence of its people.

==Human Trafficking ==

Asia has emerged as the preferred source of young [[boy]]s and [[girl]]s for [[pedophilia|pedophilic]] sex tourism and the source of women for trafficking into sex-dens/brothels in the red-light districts of most major cities in the world. Be care many of the Asian "ladies" you might meet are trannies!

== Gallery of Asian "[[slut|Ladies]]" ==

<center>
<gallery>
File:Egg-girl48.jpg
File:Egg girl445.jpg
File:Egg-girl17.jpg
File:Egg-Girl51.jpg
File:Egggirllol.jpg
File:Egg girl112.jpg
File:Egg girl87.jpg
File:Dyosa.jpg|[[Yes|Is that a dick?]]
File:Azn4sale.jpg|[[Fact]]: all Asians are pedophiles.
File:Femdom handjob by lena lang2.gif|Asian women give good handjobs
File:274855 14big.jpg|One of the hottest Asian females
File:159696 12big.jpg
File:Thai girl.jpg
File:Filipino Girl.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

== Famous Asians ==

* [[Asia LeeShawn Ferguson|Asia Ferguson]]
* [[Benazir Bhutto]]
* [[Bleedman]]
* [[Buddha]]
* [[Cho Seung-Hui]]
* [[Edison Chen]]
* [[Gackt]]
* [[Hard Gay]]
* [[Jiverly Voong]]
* [[Kato|Kato Tomohiro]]
* [[Kim Jong-Il|Kim Jong-Il]]
* [[Lmao Zedong]]
* [[Otoya Yamaguchi]]
* [[Pol Pot]]
* [[HOW CAN SHE SLAP?!?|Ravi Bhatia]]
* [[Bus Uncle|Roger Chan]]
* [[Teruaki Murakami]]
* [[Teruchan]]
* [[Tila Tequila]]
* [[Little Fatty|Xiao Pang]]

 

[[Category:Locations]]
{{Commonwealth}}

User talk:Firatpen

2024-11-08T23:54:14Z

Firatpen: /* Why are you doing this */

{{Welcome}} HellenicTrapstar [[File:InterventionRekt.png|60px|link=User talk:HellenicTrapstar]] 22:32, 9 September 2024 (UTC)

== Why are you doing this ==
Why are you removing images to be restored from image restoration what is this craziness and madness coming from you [[User:Retarded FAG|Retarded FAG]] ([[User talk:Retarded FAG|talk]]) 13:31, 8 November 2024 (UTC)

:If you have noticed im only deleting/replacing files that are completely lost. They are also missing on every single archive. [[User:Firatpen|Firatpen]] ([[User talk:Firatpen|talk]]) 23:52, 8 November 2024 (UTC)

Talk:BILLY MAYS

2024-11-08T13:08:39Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

== Use of caps ==
Didn't this article used to be in all caps?
--[[User:Mouse|Mouse]] 23:10, 16 April 2011 (UTC)

== you know he has a son? ==

* An heir to the throne. [[File:G Head.png|30px|link= User:Oddguy]] [[Gary Busey|oddguy]] [[File:G Head.png|30px|link= User Talk:Oddguy]] 09:57, 6 June 2015 (EDT)

** Tell us more. [[User:IvoRobotnik|Ivo Robotnik: SnooPING AS usual I see!]] 10:48, 6 June 2015 (EDT)

*** [[Cracked]] did [http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1544-5-surprising-things-you-learn-as-son-billy-mays.html an interview with him.] [[File:G Head.png|30px|link= User:Oddguy]] [[Gary Busey|oddguy]] [[File:G Head.png|30px|link= User Talk:Oddguy]] 12:07, 6 June 2015 (EDT)

BILLY MAYS

2024-11-08T13:06:20Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

{{ALLCAPS}}

[[Image:Billymaysalphatoomega.jpg|thumb|BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE THOUGHT-FOCUSING POWERS OF COCAINE!]]
[[Image:Billymayscocaine.jpeg‎|thumb|HIGH BILLY MAYS HERE!]]
[[Image:Shutyourwhoremouth.png|thumb|[[All Caps|ARE YOU READY TO UNLEASH THE FUCKING POWER OF OXI-CLEAN?!]]]]

Hi, '''Billy Mays''' here, to tell you all about myself in my own article, here on good old Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Billy Mays used to be [[an hero|an American Hero]] famous for his [[television|TV]] sales pitches that sold generations of [[fat|outstanding]] citizens a wide range of ass-kicking products and [[Hookers and blow| for knowing how to live life to the fullest]]. You probably knew Billy Mays as that guy in the [[blue]] shirt that was always screaming at you about the [[awesome]]ness of his products from behind your television screen during infomercials, thus intimidating you into [[Prank call|calling in]] and purchasing something you didn't actually need. It is this unnerving high pitched squealing that has earned him Consumerama's "Naked Mole Rats of Marketing Award" in the lulzy field of [http://www.consumerama.net/nmr/winners.html "Shameless Consumer Abuse"]. Shortly before his death, he starred in a [[TV]] show called [[Gentlemen|''Pitchmen'']], about his career. Before Mays's death he was building a new house, a house that would be his own personal Xanadu, which included a five car garage filled with his favorite white powder (And no, I don't mean Oxyclean!) The house is now owned and operated by his widow, and is located on Lake Robinson in Greer: Greenville, SC, 29550

__TOC__

In addition to his [[work]] in marketing some of the baddest household cleaning/maintenance shit the world has ever seen, Mays was also an early pioneer and expert in the field of [[EXTREME ADVERTISING]], due to his aggressive marketing style and unexplainable need to always speak in [[ALL CAPS]]. He was additionally somewhat [[notable]] for [http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080527182939AAGD0UH looking like] a [[bear]] but was "[[not gay]]" [[Wikipedia:Billy_mays#Personal_life|according to TOW]].

{{quote|His signature yelling approach to pitching an array of products, along with his recognizable '''[[Wise Beard Man|beard]]''', have gained Mays a substantial amount of recognition.|And that's from fucking [[Wikipedia]] so you [[lie|know it's true]]. - [[Wikipedia:Billy_Mays|TOW]]}}

Billy Mays died just days after [[Michael Jackson]], also from a heart attack, at the same age of 50. This was most likely [[Death Note|Kira's]] doing, because he is a fucking egotistical bastard.

<center>[[Font size=5|WE HONOR THIS GENTLE]], [[Extreme advertising|YET LOUD]], [[Pimp|BEARDED BEAST]] [[Word|WITH THESE PITHY WORDS]].</center>

{{Quote|I wish some other "beloved" celeb would die so we could get a break from all this [[Wacko Jacko]] coverage.|[[ODB]], 27 June [[2009]]}}

{{quote|Now cracks a noble heart. Goodnight, sweet Prince.

And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.|[[CSI|Horatio]]}}

{{Quote|BILLY MAYS IS NOT THE MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!|[[Chris Chan]]}}

{{quote|I DO COCAINE!|[[Billy Mays]], [[drug|cokehead]]}}

==[[Typical|TYPICAL]] INFOMERCIAL==

[[Image:Billy Mays Hammer.gif|thumb|left|BILLY MAYS WILL [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|WRECK YOUR SHIT]].]]
[[Image:Billy mays.jpg|thumb|A CHALLENGER APPEARS!!!!!]]

BILLY MAYS WAS NOT INVOLVED WITH THE [[kkk|KU KLUX KLAN,]] BUT HE WAS STILL A [[Nazi|NIGGER STOMPER]] AND USUALLY CAPTURED HIS AUDIENCE'S ATTENTION BY BUSTING ON TO THE SET OF THE INFOMERCIAL LIKE A [[Kool-Aid|BUTTHURTING KOOL-AID MAN]] ON [[cocaine|CRACK]] AND BEGAN YELLING ABOUT THE AMAZING POWER OF WHATEVER RANDOM GIZMO HE HAPPENED TO BE PEDDLING THAT DAY. THOSE VIEWERS WHO HADN'T SUFFERED [[shock|SHOCK]]-INDUCED [[HNNNNNNGGGGG|HEART ATTACKS]] OR FLED THE ROOM IN TERROR WERE NOW COMPLETELY ENAMORED BY BILLY MAYS' MARKETING PITCH. MAYS THEN WENT ON TO DEMONSTRATE HOW ASTOUNDING HIS PRODUCT WAS AND HOW YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY GO ABOUT YOUR PATHETIC EXISTENCE WITHOUT IT. HE ACCOMPLISHED THIS THROUGH MANY MEANS, HIS [[Howard Dean|DEAFENING VOCAL STYLE]] BEING ONE OF THEM. MAYS ALSO RESORTED TO STRINGING TOGETHER A BUNCH OF NURSERY SCHOOL RHYMES ABOUT THE PRODUCT (HE WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY GROWN [[man|MAN]] WHO COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS) OR THROWING TOGETHER OVER-ELABORATE “PRACTICAL” [[Protest|DEMONSTRATIONS]] AND SHOWING HOW HIS PRODUCT COULD [[pwn|OVERCOME]] THEM WITH EASE. NIGGERS NEVER REALLY CAUGHT ON.

[[Image:Billymaysecksbawks.png|thumb|BILLY MAYS HERE, THE GREAT THING ABOUT GETTING DOUBLE YOUR ORDER OF OXICLEAN ISN'T ABOUT GETTING IT FREE, IT'S TELLING EVERYONE ONLINE THAT YOU DID.]]

FOR INSTANCE, SAY MAYS WAS MARKETING A CARPET CLEANER; FOR A DEMO HE WOULD BUST INTO YOUR [[house|HOUSE]] AND SPILL A JUG OF RED WINE AND A [[bucket|BUCKET]] OF [[sheep|SHEEP'S]] [[blood|BLOOD]] ON YOUR CARPET, THEN [[piss|PISS]] ON IT JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE. HE'D THEN BREAK OUT THE [[Shamwow|ZORBEEZ]]!. AND LIKE [[magic|MAGIC]], THAT STAIN HAD ITS ASS HANDED TO IT ON A PLATTER. BUT BEFORE LEAVING WITH JUST A SIMPLE GOODBYE AND A PHONE NUMBER, BILLY MAYS WOULD CONTINUE HIS ASSAULT ON YOUR AUDITORY SENSES AND PROMISE TO [[sex|SEXTUPLE]] THE OFFER '''''FOR [[free|FREE]]'''''!!!!! AND HE'D EVEN THROW IN SOME MIGHTY PUTTY, A COUPLE HERULES HOOKS, AN AWESOME AUGER, AND A [[List of sex moves|HANDJOB]], ALL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF ONLY $19.95 - '''[[Lie|BUT ONLY IF YOU CALL WITHIN THE NEXT 30 SECONDS!]]'''

[[Time Paradox|BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T FILM THESE THINGS AHEAD OF TIME AND RUN THEM CONTINUOUSLY, YOU KNOW.]]

<center>'''THE POWER OF MIGHTY SHINE PLEASES SIR BILLY MAYS.'''</center>
<center><youtube>5Hc5Ld4FGkc</youtube></center>

==TRIBUTE AND INFORMATIONAL VIDEOS==

<center>
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>OpJGZ9RHAvU</youtube>
|<youtube>ZqORu8D8gs4</youtube>
|<youtube>--W15tqiLpU</youtube>
|<youtube>iOmvdeNa67E</youtube>
|<youtube>GPLrm3Omkjg</youtube>
|<youtube>LAE-r0fhiJE</youtube>
|<youtube>2SabRvYb0eE</youtube>
|<youtube>NqdZ4t1cft4</youtube>
|<youtube>TVhHKNORLrw</youtube>
|<youtube>LHgEnN2PFzo</youtube>}}
</center>

==BILLY MAYS AND THE INTERNET==

[[Image:Billy Mays Roll Combo.png|thumb|BILLY MAYS COMBO ROLL ON [[B/|/b/]].]]
[[Image:Billymayswiki.jpg|thumb|HI BILLY MAYS HERE AND DO I HAVE A WIKIPEDIA PAGE FOR YOU]]

WHEN BILLY MAYS WAS NOT SCAMMING PEOPLE OUT OF MONEY, YELLING AT RANDOM STRANGERS, OR INSULTING YOUR [[Man|MASCULINITY]], HE COULD BE FOUND [[lurk|LURKING]] THE INTERNET. DUE TO MAYS' REPUTATION FOR BEING THE LOUDEST SALESPERSON ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET, HE HAS GAINED QUITE A BIT OF POPULARITY HERE ON THE [[Internets|INTERNETS]].

[[Image:BILLYMAYSWIKISHOUT.jpg|thumb|BILLY MAYS WAS SCHEDULED TO START SHOUTING COMMERCIALS FOR TACO BALL SOON, THAT'S RIGHT, SHOUTING!]]

BILLY MAYS CAN STILL BE FOUND SHOUTING ON A WIDE VARIETY OF WEBSITES FROM THE GRAVE, AS HE HAS BEEN A RECURRING [[meme|MEME]] FOR YEARS ON SUCH SITES AS [[YTMND]], [[YouTube|YOUTUBE]], AND EVERYWHERE IN BETWEEN. IN ADDITION, MANY YOUTUBERS HAVE CREATED PARODIES AND TRIBUTES TO MAYS, BUT THEY'RE ALL PAINFULLY [[unfunny|UNFUNNY]], BECAUSE THE CREATORS [[fail|FAIL]] TO REALIZE THAT YOU CANNOT BEAT PERFECTION.

MAYS HAS GAINED A NOTABLE AMOUNT OF ATTENTION FROM [[4chan|4CHAN]], AS WELL, AND HE IS OFTEN USED IN THE MAKING OF [[copypasta|COPYPASTA]]. FOR INSTANCE:
<blockquote>
'''HI /b/, DISREGARD RULES 1 AND 2 BECAUSE... BILLY MAYS HERE FOR OXI-CLEAN. I'VE HEARD A LOT OF SHIT ABOUT THIS PALMOLIVE BULLSHIT, AND I'M HERE TO CLEAR ALL THAT UP. YOU FUCKING NIGGERS KNOW THAT OXI-CLEAN WILL TAKE THE HAIR RIGHT OFF YOUR DOG'S BALLS AND ASS, LEAVING THE SKIN FRESH AND [[Rimjob|KISSABLE]]. OXI-CLEAN MAKES UGLY BITCHES DO-ABLE, AND I PERSONALLY PUT TWO SCOOPS IN MY COFFEE EVERY MORNING. '''

'''IN CONCLUSION, FUCK YOU. FUCK [[Your Mom|THAT OLD BITCH]]. FUCK PALMOLIVE.'''
</blockquote>

BILLY MAYS IS THE PRIMARY CONTENDER TO [[George Zimmer|GEORGE ZIMMER'S]] THRONE OF [[ALL CAPS]] COPYPASTA RANTS, AND THE CHANNERS OFTEN [[roleplay|ROLEPLAY]] THE TWO ENGAGING IN EPIC BATTLES OF [[intelligence|WIT]] AND MANLINESS, USUALLY TO VERY [[lulz|LULZY]] EFFECTS. MAYS GAINED EVEN HIGHER STANDING AMONGST THE /B/TARDS WHEN, IN JUNE 2008, A VERY [[delicious cake|DELICIOUS]] PIECE OF COPYPASTA WAS MADE IN HONOR OF MR. MAYS:
<blockquote>
'''HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH KABOOM. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF DIRTY SHIT IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS ALL CLEANED UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN KABOOM. THIS SHIT COULD CLEAN THE WARTS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME KABOOM ON YOUR DICK, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. FUCK.''' 
 
'''IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX JUGS OF THIS FUCKING KABOOM AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ. WHAT ARE ZORBEEZ? YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING TOWELS CAN SOAK UP LIKE A GALLON APIECE. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU [[HNG|SHARPEN YOUR FUCKING SCISSORS WITH THE SAMURAI SHARK]]. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.''' 
 
'''SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU''' 
 
'''THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529''' 
'''THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE''' 
 
'''CALL NAO!'''
</blockquote>

THE ABOVE PIECE OF WRITING REPRESENTS THE CULMINATION OF MAYS' LIFE WORK AND IS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF HIS EXCELLENCE IN THE FIELD OF [[EXTREME ADVERTISING]]. WE SALUTE YOU, BILLY MAYS.

THE ABOVE COPYPASTA HAS ALSO BEEN APPLIED TO OTHER THINGS, SUCH AS:

Nutella:

<div class="billymaysnutella">

<blockquote>
'''HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH NUTELLA. DO YOU HAVE LOTS OF UNTOPPED BREAD IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NEEDS SOME SMEARING UP? THEN BUY SOME OF THIS GODDAMN NUTELLA. THIS SHIT COULD CLEAN THE UNTASTEFULNESS OFF YOUR SISTER'S VAGINA. YOU CAN PUT SOME NUTELLA ON YOUR DICK, AND IT'LL GROW THREE INCHES. FUCK.''' 
 
'''IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND BUY SIX CANSOF THIS FUCKING NUTELLA AND WE'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN [[Pocky|POCKY]]. WHAT ARE POCKY? YOU BEST BE JOKING, NIGGER. THOSE FUCKING "CANDIES" CAN MAKE LIKE A BILLION WEEABOOS BE EVEN GAYER. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED THEM AFTER YOU FUCK YOUR FUCKING SISTER WITH THE POCKY. BECAUSE YOU'LL SIMULTANEOUSLY SHIT, PISS, AND EJACULATE IN YOUR PANTS. HOW DO YOU PISS AND EJACULATE AT THE SAME TIME? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO SO PEACE OUT NIGGERS.''' 
 
'''SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU''' 
 
'''THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529''' 
'''THATS ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE OVER 9000 NINE''' 
 
'''CALL NAO! NEVAAA!!!!11ELEVEN1ONE1!'''
</blockquote>
</div>

AND UNDERAGE GIRLS:

<div class="billymaysunderagegirls">

<blockquote>
'''HEY GUYS, IT'S BILLY MAYS HERE WITH [[Jailbait|UNDERAGE GIRLS]]. ARE YOU TIRED OF SECOND HAND VAGINA AND LOOSE PUSSY? THEN FUCKING GET SOME OF THIS UNDERAGE GIRLS. THIS JAILBAIT'S BIRTH CANAL IS SO TIGHT IT CAN TURN A FIVE POUND BAG OF SPUDS INTO MASHED POTATO'S. THIS SHIT IS SO FRESH THAT [[Jam It In|NOT EVEN FUCKING A LOAF OF BREAD FEELS THIS GOOD]]. THESE GIRLS ARE SO FLAT THAT THEIR FUCKING NIPPLES LOOK LIKE SOMEONE DREW THEM UP ON CRAYONS. THEY'RE NIPPLERS ARE AS FUCKING HARD AS MIGHTY PUTTY! FUCK!''' 
 
'''IN A FEW MINUTES, I'M GOING TO WRITE NUMBERS ON THESE GIRLS BREASTLESS TITS. HOW CAN I DO THAT? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. CALL THIS NUMBER IN FIVE MINUTES AND WE'LL THROW IN A FUCKING SACK OF ORGASMING GOPHERS! HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET ORGASMING GOPHERS? WE SHOWED THEM FUCKING PAMELA ANDERSON WEARING A PETA SHIRT YOU NIGGER. CALL IN ONE MINUTE AND WE'LL ALSO THROW IN SOME FUCKING KABOOM SO YOU CAN CLEAN OUT THOSE BITCHES VAGINA SO YOU CAN USE THEM OVER AND OVER...AND IT'LL SMELL LIKE A FUCKING PINESOL. IT'S LIKE HAVING SEX WITH EVERY TREE IN A FOREST AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S LIKE FUCKING A HALLOWED OUT PINECONE WHILE LISTENING TO [[Dream Theater|DREAM THEATER]].''' 
 
'''I'M WRITING THIS FUCKING NUMBER NOW, SO CALL THIS SHIT AND ORDER THESE GOD DAMNED PUBELESS FUCKS. WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT, AND WITHIN TWO WEEKS YOU'LL HAVE A BOX ON YOUR DOORSTEP. IF YOUR NEIGHBORS ASK WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THE BOX TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT IT AND TO SHUT THEIR FUCKING VAGINAMOUTHS OR ELSE YOU'LL SHOVE AN EIGHTEEN FOOT LIZARD UP THEIR ASS. THAT'S A BIG FUCKING CROCODILE, YOU IGNORANT FUCK!''' 
 
'''FUCK THIS PERMANENT MARKER IS OUT OF INK AND I DON'T WANT TO STARE AT GIRLS CHESTS ANYMORE. IT'S LIKE I'M LOOKING AT A SHIRTLESS EIGHT YEAR OLD ASIAN BOY. FUCK WE SELL THAT TOO.''' 
 
'''SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU''' 
 
'''THAT NUMBER AGAIN IS 1-800-781-7529''' 
 
'''THAT'S ONE EIGHT ZERO ZERO SEVEN EIGHT ONE SEVEN FIVE TWO NINE''' 
 
'''CALL NOW!'''</blockquote>
</div>

==WHAT THE INTERNETS ARE SAYING==

<center>
[[Image:Billy Mays YT Comments.png||400px]]
 
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest4|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 400px;|font-weight: bold;
|Billy Mays has sold 134 pairs of shoes to legless people. Out of 130 legless people he tried selling shoes to.
One guy dared Billy Mays to sell lava as a drain cleaner. That guy bought the lava for Twenty bucks from him two minutes later.
Oxy Clean isn't really just a detergent, it's the concentrated power of Billy May's awesome selling powers.|Some jackass on [[YouTube]] trying to turn Mays into the next Chuck Norris.
|Wow. It's almost like he's saying "Alright, you dumbfuck, buy my shit or I'll personally fuck you up."|Billy Mays is pretty intimidating.
|Kaboom and my hearing's gone!|[[beaner|vasquezcherie]]
|Let's see what else the mighty Mighty Putty can do. Um, oh ya, let's put a nice big glob of it over that bastard's mouth. I doubt even THAT can shut this jackass up. For a REAL good test, let's put a glob on his dink then affix it to a chain on a truck, and a glob on his ass to a chain to ANOTHER truck and watch them pull.|Obvious sockpuppet of [[Cillit Bang|Barry Scott]].
|'''fumetti''': Billy Mays do us a favor and jump in the path of a moving train, you fucking asstard.
 '''bleackorama''': He WOULD jump in front of a train... covered in armor made from MIGHTY PUTTY! Look at that shit, motherfucker? Who'd be afraid of a planet falling on them if they were shielded with that shit!? Hell, bring on World War III in my opinion, I'll be in my MIGHTY PUTTY BUNKER. FUCK YES!|Moar [[JewTube]] comments.

|You motherfuckers can't believe this shit, HI I'M BILLY MAYS|Can you believe it? BILLY MAYS doesn't seem to think so.

|I stole a box of this shit to see how it was. The putty works great, does everything they say it does. But what they don't tell you is that the putty smells like somebody shat out rotten eggs and then ate them, then vomited them into a vat full of putrid meat. Then let it sit out in the sun for two years.|YouTube commenter comments on Mighty Putty.

|I bought Mighty Putty the other day to see if it could mirror comic strips like it's brother, Silly, does. I also got a little horny and [[I accidentally X|accidentally]] plugged my anus and my dickhole with it. So now whenever I have to go to the bathroom, I get a case of [[Shitting Dick Nipples]].| Another YouTube commenter comments on Mighty Putty.

|HI, BILLY MAYS HERE! THAT SHOWER SCENE WAS FROM WHEN I RAPED AND MURDERED ONE OF THESE ASSHOLES ON YOUTUBE WHO CALLED ME LOUD AND ANNOYING! I INITIALLY HAD RESERVATIONS ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK I COULD CLEAN UP SUCH A HORROR SHOW BUT THEN I REMEMBERED I CARRY A BOTTLE OF KABOOM! WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO! THAT SHIT GETS RID OF ALL TRACES OF MY MURDEROUS RAMPAGES AND EFFECTIVELY MASKS ANY DNA I LEAVE BEHIND AFTER I FINISH SODOMIZING THE CORPSES OF MY VICTIMS!|BILLY MAYS.
|I don't use anything except OxiClean to wash magic marker from my butt.|[[Dorian Thorn]]
|HIS WORDS ARE LOUD HIS FACE IS BEARD|Anon
}}|border=green|background=white}}
</center>

==BILLY MAYS AND FORUM FREAKS==

[[Image:Bill mays lawl.jpg|thumb|center|WHY IS IT NOT IN CAPS FUCKHEAD?]]

{{quote|I think I saw that site once when I Googled him. I didn't follow the link you posted, but is that the one where they refer to him as a '[[bear]]'? It was pretty sickening to think of Billy Mays naked, let alone having [[sex]] with anyone!!! I hate to be anywhere within a 50 mile radius when he fired off the baby batter!! Could you imagine how friggin loud that would be?? I swear I bet his wife has the ear doctor on speed dial!! It's funny, but Billy Mays is what brought me to this site many moons ago. I Googled, "I hate billy Mays" and found CIH!!! LOL|Wild Starchild}}
[http://forums.commercialsihate.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=955&PID=15370 SAUCE!]

==[[Goodnight Sweet Prince|GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE]]==

[[Image:Billy_Mays_Here!.jpg|thumb|left|ADMIT IT, YOU LAUGHED, YOU [[dick|DICK]]]]
[[Image:Billy-Mays-Grave.jpg|thumb|left|BILLY MAYS' GRAVE. GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE!]]
[[Image:Mighty putty heart.jpg|thumb|IT CAN'T FIX [[SHIT]]. LET'S FACE IT.]]
[[Image:Billymaysfuneral.jpg|thumb|left|HIS COFFIN WAS OBVIOUSLY POLISHED WITH ORANGE GLO.]]

{{quote|'''JUST HAD A CLOSE CALL LANDING IN TAMPA. THE TIRES BLEW OUT UPON LANDING. STUCK IN THE PLANE ON THE RUNWAY. YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON U.S. AIR.'''|[http://twitter.com/realBillyMays/status/2362206907 @realBillyMays]}}

[[Image:KEIKAKUDOORI.jpg|thumb|[[Shamwow|REST IN PEACE, BILLY BOY!]]]]
[[Image:Billy mays in heaven.jpg|thumb|HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY GO TO HEAVEN IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.]]

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END. IN TRAGIC FASHION, THE LAST LIFE TO END IN THIS TRAGIC WEEK HAS BEEN THE LIFE OF A LEGEND. A TRULY EPIC PERSON WHOSE PRESENCE IN THIS WORLD BROUGHT US VALUABLE INFORMATION ABOUT CUTTING-EDGE HOUSE CLEANING TECHNOLOGIES. ON SATURDAY, THE 27TH OF JUNE OF 2009, BILLY MAYS HAD JUST FINISHED SHOOTING A BRAND NEW OXI-CLEAN INFOMERCIAL IN THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE, [[Philadelphia|PHILTHADELPHIA]]. ON THE RETURN FLIGHT TO HIS HOME IN FLORIDA, THE AIRPLANE SUFFERED A BLOWN TIRE UPON LANDING AND SKULLFUCKED EVERYONE. BILLY WAS STRUCK IN THE HEAD BY FLYING LUGGAGE.
{{quote|"ALL OF A SUDDEN AS WE HIT YOU KNOW IT WAS JUST THE HARDEST HIT, ALL THE THINGS FROM THE CEILING STARTED DROPPING. IT HIT ME ON THE HEAD, BUT I GOT A HARD HEAD."|BILLY MAYS}}

LATER THAT EVENING, HE WAS SEEN FUNCTIONING WELL, EVEN DISCUSSING THE LATEST SELL-A-THON AGAINST THAT [[Shamwow|GERMAN NANCY]] WITH HIS FATHER-IN-LAW AND SNORTING BLOW OFF OF TOP OF A BOTTLE OF ORANGE-GLO. ULTIMATELY, LATER THAT NIGHT, BILLY MAYS SUCCUMBED TO THE VOID. IN THE MORNING, HE WAS [[an hero|FOUND DEAD]], WITH HIS TONGUE HANGING OUT, AND A NOTE IN HIS HAND SAYING "BILLY MAYS HERE. [[Michael Jackson|NIGGA]] STOLE MY ATTENTION!!!!!!!".
<center>'''THE LAST WORDS OF A NATIONAL TREASURE.'''</center>
<center><youtube>QJ0HZk-YBOU</youtube></center>

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[File:Billy-Mays-Fixed.png|link=]] </div>

=='''BILLY MAYS DAY'''==

<div style="text-transform: uppercase;">
[[Image:Billy_Mays_Two_Thumbs_up_2009.jpg|frame|right|Billy Mays - Goodnight Sweet Prince]]
Founded on the day of his death, '''June 28th 2009''',
[[Billy Mays]] day has quickly grown to a worldwide phenomenon celebrating the life of the TV pitchman star.

Annually, to show respect for the greatest infomercial personality of all time, internet followers celebrate this day by typing completely in [[ALL CAPS|capital letters]] all day, emulating the [[cruise control|booming voice]] of the beloved pitchman. It is also celebrated and recognized internationally by some on the 4th of July every year since 2009.

===/b/illy===

In honor of the first MAYSDAY, celebrated on Monday, June 29th 2009, Moot changed the name of /b/ to "/b/ILLY MAYS". There was much rejoicing. Yes there was....

===Community's Response===

The most talked about topic on the whole of Twitter on this day led to the creation of the [http://twitter.com/AllCapsForBilly "ALLCAPSFORBILLY Group"], spreading the word about Billy Mays Day. Popstar/[[pedophile]] [[Michael Jackson]]'s passing was fortunately overshadowed by the death of the world's most famous and adored TV pitchman only 3 days after the same thing at the same age of death.

===RULES ABOUT MAYS===

DUE TO HIS MANY CONTRIBUTIONS IN THE FIELD OF LULZ, BILLY IS OFTEN QUOTED ON THE INTERNET. HOWEVER, THERE ARE RULES:

*NO COCAINE MENTIONS. THERE ARE BETTER PEOPLE FOR THAT, SUCH AS DR. ROCKSO, OR AMY WINEHOUSE. MAYS WAS NOT LULZY BECAUSE OF COCAINE.
*ALL THREAD TITLES, BLOG HEADERS, FARK HEADLINES, OR SHOOPS MENTIONING OR RELATING TO MAYS MUST BE IN ALL CAPS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
*ALL REPLIES TO MAYS THREADS MUST BE TYPED IN ALL CAPS.
*FOR BOUNS POINTS AND EXTRA CONFORMITY WITH THESE RULES, DO NOT ALLOW ANY LOWERCASE TEXT TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE IN YOUR POST. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOUR POST HAS A PICTURE IN IT, AND THAT PICTURE CONTAINS TEXT THAT IS IN LOWER CASE, SHOOP IT SO THAT THE TEXT IS IN ALL CAPS.
*EVEN IF THE THREAD ITSELF DOES NOT PERTAIN TO MAYS, ANY POSTS MADE IN NON-RELATED MAYS THREADS THAT MAKE REFERENCES TO MAYS IN THE POST ITSELF MUST BE TYPED IN CAPS. FURTHERMORE, ANY POSTS REPLYING TO THAT POST MUST AGAIN BE IN ALL CAPS.
*FAILURE TO DO SO IS PUNISHED BY CURBSTOMPING, SO THAT YOUR WHORE MOUTH REMAINS SHUT WHILE BILLY MAYS IS TALKING.

===Sainthood===

[[Image:Billy Mays Sainthood.jpg|thumb|left|The Glorious Thread]]

On the night of August the 5th a post was started by a /b/tard to honor dear Billy by moving him into the official rank of Patron Saint of Holy Relics and Amazing Offers. He was honored and all was good. Much cocaine was snorted, and many [[HNG|heart attacks]] were to be had.
 
[[Image:Billy_tribute.png|800px|center]]
{{clear}}

===Other Theories===

Others postulate that, rather than simply dying, Billy Mays ascended to Godhood among the other 4 Chaos Gods. He is now the God of Salesmen.

He sold stress balls to Khorne.

He sold skin conditioner to Nurgle.

He sold Enzyte to Slaanesh.

He sold a Magic 8-Ball to Tzeentch.

In the Name of Mays, go forth and sell bargain-priced stuff! AND DO IT WITH STYLE!

===Tributes===

[[Image:Mays or Jackson Dragon Balls.jpg|thumb|[[Dragon Ball|Billy! OH GOD, BRING BILLY BACK! *cry cry cry*.]]]]
[[image:Papa-Johns.jpg|thumb|Oh hai. I'm next.]]
[[image:Vince_did_billy_mays.jpg|thumb|[[Vince]] did Billy Mays.]]
[[Image:Moot_billy_mays.png|thumb|DO IT, [[moot|FAGGOT]].]]

{{fv|tributevids1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>5vbYFXITWfc</youtube>
|<youtube>U1E7Qrsyt1A</youtube>
|<youtube>ZqORu8D8gs4</youtube>
|<youtube>PhqPe6rWol0</youtube>
|<youtube>--W15tqiLpU</youtube>
|<youtube>xIOndFPIGaI</youtube>
|<youtube>8misiuIbF7A</youtube>
|<youtube>hxjup6PCA1w</youtube>
|<youtube>dtuA7-qaY9M</youtube>
|<youtube>QIRZRVVnnYs</youtube>}}

{{fv|tributevids2|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>zhZNMbwsKaM</youtube>
|<youtube>lJTi06anElo</youtube>
|<youtube>zhZNMbwsKaM</youtube>
|<youtube>lJTi06anElo</youtube>}}

===Links===

*[http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/28/billy-mays-is-dead/ TMZ]
*[http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/article1014018.ece Tampa Bay News]
*[http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31596003/ns/us_news-life/ MSNBC News]
*[http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529328,00.html Faux News]
*[http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_OBIT_BILLY_MAYS?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=US Random Site News]
*[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=100757607611 "OFFICIAL MEMORIAL GROUP"]
*[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=96855812604 "OFFICIAL ALL CAPS FACEBOOK GROUP"]
*[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=101486441882 "A MOMENT OF LOUDNESS FACEBOOK GROUP"]
</div>

==Gallery==

{{cg|Maysium Emporium|MaysGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Billy Mays Here!.jpg|BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE GROOM STONE RIP AND COMB YOUR HAIR
Image:Billy.png|[[Oh exploitable]]!
Image:BILLY_MAYS_DAY.JPG|MOURN CORRECTLY
Image:Oxi-coke.jpg|How the fuck else did you think he did it?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:BILLY MAYS HERE.jpg|BILLY MAYS HERE FOR OH FUCK!
Image:Billy mays is not amused.JPG|Billy Mays is not amused with your [[gay|faggotry]].
Image:Billy Mays MS Paint.jpg|All done on paint, took fucking hours [[shit|but the result shows what you can achieve with hard work]].
Image:Billy Mays Approved.jpg|This article is Billy Mays approved.
Image:Billy_mays_gun.jpg‎|If you don't buy his shit, he'll blast your nuts off!
Image:VINCE & BILLY.jpg|But Billy was no match for [[Shamwow|Vince]].
Image:Billymayscollage.jpg
Image:BillyMaysLikes.jpg‎|Billy Mays approves beating up the [[Vince]].
Image:Billy Mays Pimpin.jpg|Billy Mays gets all the [[Whores|ladies]].
Image:Al Tool Time.jpg|Billy Mays should not be confused with Al Borland, of ''Tool Time'' fame.
Image:RIP billy mays.jpg‎|He was an legend.
Image:BillyMays exorcist.gif|He couldn't handle the fucking power of Oxi-Clean.
Image:Billymays1.png|[[Oh exploitable]]. "With Confidence."
Image:Billy Mays Death of a Salesman.jpg|Took about 10 minutes, 5 in [[MS Paint]]. This is what the book should really be about.
Image:Bill mays wtf.jpg|[[fanboi]]
Image:BDK_Oxiclean.JPG|Bitches donno I look like [[Pedobear]] either!
Image:Billy Mays Shut Your Whore Mouth.jpg|You'd better listen to him.
Image:dingkingyourass.jpg|Don't think he won't!
Image:AwesomeBilly.jpg|BUY IT NAO CUZ ITS OMFG [[Awesome|AWESOME]]
Image:Billy Mays underage girls.jpg|<s>Only one thumb up?</s> The other is currently brown.
Image:Billy mays family.png|Billy Mays, pictured here with his family.
Image:Billy Mays WP.jpg|Now your desktop will never be dirty with the stain fighting power of an Oxi-Clean [[wallpaper]].
Image:Oxycleancopy.jpg|Awesome Beards [[FTW]]!!!
Image:Bilyandvince.jpg|Billy Mays fucked Vince's world.
Image:Billy Mays comedian.jpg|[[Watchmen|One of us died tonight]]
Image:Billy Mays Last Words.jpg|His finest hour.
Image:Rebuildbilly.png|Or we could try a more natural solution...
Image:ZbillyKONKED.jpg |That bat was made in germany, you know the germans make good stuff.
Image:Maysanon.png|Anonymous love billy
Image:Billymayscapslock.jpg|A FINE TRIBUTE TO A GREAT MAN.
Image:Mays_cube.jpg|Build your own Billy Mays tribute cube
Image:Oxi-coke.jpg|How else did you think he did it?
Image:Rocksomays.JPG|AHAH!
Image:Billymays southpark.jpg
File:Billy Mays in heaven.jpg
Image:Billy Mays Once Sold....jpg|Billy Mays once sold this thread to ED
File:Billy-mays-rifle.jpg|HE LIVES
File:Billy-Mays-Jew-Repellant.png
File:Billy_Mays_encourages_buttsex.png
File:Billy_mays_gun1.jpg
File:Billy_mays_tombstone.jpg
File:Billy-mays-I-DO-COCAINE.png
File:Billymays.jpg
File:YOU_SHUT_YOUR_WHORE_MOUTH_WHEN_BILLY_MAYS_IS_TALKING.jpg
</gallery>}}

==See Also==

[[Image:Billy mays moot.jpg|thumb|[[For great justice]].]]

* [[ALL CAPS]]
* [[Cillit Bang]]
* [[Copypasta]]
* [[Chris-chan#CWCVille|CWCVille]] - Billy Mays was mayor of this fine city for a time, before he was deposed by [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
* [[EXTREME ADVERTISING]]
* [[EXTREME ANIMALS]]
* [[Font size=5]]
* [[George Zimmer]]
* [[Shamwow]]
* [[Wise Beard Man]]

==External Links==

{{chanarchive|b/490/oxi-clean|Billy Mays vs. George Zimmer|align=right}}

* [http://rapidshare.com/files/122688132/billy.rar <s>Billy Mays Picture Pack on rapidshit</s>] - <s>Use to spam copypasta.</s> BALEETED!
* [http://billymaysfordays.ytmnd.com/ Billy Mays] on [[YTMND]]
* [http://www.formspring.me/BillyMays HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH FORMSPRING]
* [http://www.atmospheric-violence.com/mays/ Billy Mays Insane Tribute Site]
* [http://www.7chan.org/fl/src/cilit%20bang.swf <s>Britfag-Gay version of Mays] on [[7chan]]</S> - BALEETED!
* [http://ohsnapitsbillymays.blogspot.com/ Billy Mays tribute page on blogspot] - Lots of delicious copypasta
* [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/20/billy-mays-commercial-sup_n_120019.html/ His own TV show] - Prepare to have your ears bleed.

===Actual Infomercials===


<div class="infomercials">
*{{youtube|ICvbF1uZm-I|Awesome Auger}}
*{{youtube|9KBXcpJfmj4|Big City Slider}}
*{{youtube|0JGXbIfeuRY|Ding King}}
*{{youtube|sF-IWJEQuEQ|Hercules Hooks}}
*{{youtube|c7d85T4OfqA|iCan Health Insurance}}
*{{youtube|-dvzgLXa-dI|KABOOM!}}
*{{youtube|LyTEKhkB8OM|Mighty Mendit}}
*{{youtube|nkuReA-AGa8|Mighty Putty}}
*{{youtube|A2HTgXjH3SA|Orange Glo}}
*{{youtube|s3KEkBqDahg|Oxi Clean detergent}}
*{{youtube|xPh-qgW8L4w|Samurai Shark}}
*{{youtube|N1cguF85vqk|Sandstrom OnTV}} - an actual store to buy all the shit he tries to sell on TV
*{{youtube|oFpIQPxxaGA|Steam Buddy}}
*{{youtube|l25oCWDHnQI|Zorbeez}}
</div>

===User-made Videos===

<div class="usermade">
*{{youtube|D3DVGsZmLRs|Billy Mays in slow-motion}}
*{{youtube|pQ0GpJ48Nzc|Fact About Billy Mays}}
*{{youtube|JGCkh_rYdYU|"Wonder Bulge"}} - A surprisingly well-done parody
*{{youtube|ZrnVNZpnvRI|Billy Mays blooper reel}}
*{{youtube|ifgggspJ7jM|Billy Mays attacks Garry's Mod}}
*{{youtube|r_4a4O7kXQo|Mighty Putty dub}}
*{{youtube|qNrO-FAHcdI|Neverscrub dub}}
*{{youtube|9Rd3Wx5EyFw|Zorbeez dub}}
*{{youtube|FY0tTewZYmY|Billy Mays' blue balls}}
*{{youtube|6RMHq6a8fzg|Billy Mays' Big Piece Of Shit Slider Station}}
*{{youtube|s-VrXmUmf8o|Billy Mays flips out}}
</div>

{{memes}}
{{Television}}
{{Mediawhores}}
{{Business}}
{{timeline|Featured article June 23, [[2008]]|[[Pedofox]]|[[Billy Mays]]|[[Rangerphile]]}}

[[Category:2009]]
[[Category:People|Mays, Billy]]
[[Category:Corpses]]

4chan

2024-11-08T12:45:15Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

{{spoilers|4chan has been ruined by incell redditors, [[Moot|M00t]] became a sellout and [[2016]] fucked up everthing}}
{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=4chan|imageboard_logo=[[Image:4chan logo 1.png|66px]]|date_founded=October 1, 2003|major_boards=[[a/|/a/]],[[b/|/b/]],[[Bitcoin|/biz/]],[[co/|/co/]],[[dickgirl|/d/]],[[fa/|/fa/]],[[G|/g/]],[[hentai|/h/]],[[int/|/int/]] [[k/|/k/]],[[po/|/po/]],[[pol/|/pol/]],[[Plz|/r/]],[[R9gay|/r9k/]],[[qst/|/qst/]],[[s/|/s/]],[[soc/|/soc/]],[[Bittorrent|/t/]],[[tv/|/tv/]],[[v/|/v/]],[[Vidya|/vg/]],[[Jewtube|/wsg/]]|epic_win=None, this is a porn site|homepage=[https://4chan.org/ 4chan.org]|right}}

[[Image:4chan userbase.png|thumb|What are you?]]
[[Image:Moot 4chanGod.jpg|right|Behold the destroyer of worlds.]]
[[Image:Alec Guiness.jpg|thumb|You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.]]
[[Image:4chan relationship.gif|thumb|Typical 4chan user.]]
[[Image:4chan conversation.png|thumb|Typical 4chan conversation.]]
[[Image:4chan_mascots.jpg|thumb|If you don't know who any of these things are, you need to [[Lurk Moar|LURK MOAR]].]]
[[Image:Mycatdied.JPG|thumb|[[b/|/b/]] always offers good advice.]]
[[Image:Official 4chan troll seal.gif|thumb|Trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls.]]
[[Image:4chanexposure.jpg|thumb|This will happen to [[you]].]]

'''4chan''' is and always has been many things to many people. To [[Faux News]], 4chan is a hazardous "Leftist [[Internet Hate Machine]]" filled with [[Terrorism|domestic terrorists]], to CNN, it is a person and a [[hacker]] responsible for leaking newdz and installing [[The Donald|Blumpf]] into power. To others, it is that site full of [[weeaboo]]s, [[incel]]s, [[troll]]s, [[racist]]s, [[children]], and [[pedophile]]s that churns out many of the Internet's most popular [[AIDS|viral content]].

At its core, 4chan is an [[anonymous]] [[animu|Japanimation]]-themed collection of [[porn|image]] [[imageboard|boards]] based on the popular Japanese site [[Futaba Channel]]. 4chan is proof positive that the [[United States]] should not have stopped with Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but should have nuked the entire island of [[Japan]] off the face of the Earth. The site is home to a wide assortment of degenerate losers, all of whom have at least some variant of [[nerds|social anxiety]] [[The xchan effect|disorder]]. So, not surprisingly, most of the [[nsfw]] imageboards consist of [[hentai]] and [[Pain series|shock images]]. And at the heart of 4chan is [[B|/b/]].

{{quote|<@Moot> Reggin 4chan.net brace for faggotry|[[moot]] on registering 4chan. At least he was right about the faggotry.}}

A few popular Internet "[[meme]]s" have their roots in /b/, 4chan's largest and most notorious board. This has led to [[Anonymous]] declaring itself [[internet celebrity|"the face of the Internet"]], when it is truly more reminiscent of the [[anus]] of the [[Internets]]. 4chan is like the butt-plug of the Internet in that it holds all the shit inside the rectums so it doesn't spray out all over. When 4chan [[DDoS|goes down]], it's like the Internet has [[tubgirl|explosive diarrhea]].

4chan got it's start from Something Awful [[moot]] a poster on ADTRW (The Anime Forum) and some other [[faggots]] needed a site that they could host their <s>Child Porn</s> [[Anime]]. Moot also had an obsession with 2Channel so he decided to download Futabally and translate it to English, then host it on a webserver. He originally sent it to 20 of his [[goon]] friends and eventually everyone in ADTRW and every other Something Awful board full of closet anime pedophiles (all of them) started to use 4chan and the Internet Hate Machine began.

==Imageboard Guide==
[[Image:Typeagain.jpg|thumb|The average /b/tard at work. [[DESU]] [[DESU]] [[DESU]]]]
The seasoned Internet traveler might find himself debased when presented by the mass of confusion that is so well embodied in 4chan. It is the home of asocial, and at times anti-social, [[white people|white folk]] who believe in the superiority of everything that is [[Japan]]ese because 4chan users love anime almost as much as they love dick. It is divided into many sub-boards, each having its distinct theme for image posting to satisfy the deviant mind. Occasionally to stir up some fun, the mods place [[wordfilter]]s in the boards to completely fuck around with peoples' posts/opinions. When it comes down to it, every board on 4chan is just /b/ with a theme. Everyone talks the same, complains the same, and trolls the same. Except the hentai boards, they're special. There are also a number of text boards, but nobody cares about them.

[[Image:HEY DIPSHITS.png|left|thumb|HEY [[newfag|DIPSHITS]]! See this? CLICK IT AND DO WHAT IT SAYS]]

*'''[[3/|/3/]]''' - Quite possibly the slowest board on 4chan, /3/ is about [[DreamWorks|3D animation]] (also referred to as 3DCG), and where a bunch of basement-dwelling [[Virgins|hobbyists]] discuss such projects. Due to the fact that almost no one outside of the [[Pixar|film industry]] wants to waste thousands of hours learning how to use obtuse softwares, the board is pretty much a ghosttown. It is regularly being bent over and raped by various flavors of /b/tards who go there for [[faggotry]] like [[Combofag|combos]], [[doubles]], and otherwise [[GET|predicting their post number]].

*'''[[a|/a/]]''' - Animu & Mango. Basically just /v/ for [[anime]] and, as such, churns out its own memes at a similar rate. They hate anime just like /v/ hates the vidya. No longer tame by any standard, it has become a hive of ronrey [[otaku]] seeking [[PROMOTION|PROMOTIONS]] and discussing their [[Waifu|waifus]] ad infinitum.

*'''[[Rule 34|/aco/]]''' - Adult Cartoons. A board added a short while after [[moot]] skipped town and the age-long taboo against furries and non-Japanese cartoon porn was lifted. It is filled with horribly drawn [[rule 34]] of [[Disney]] characters, lifted directly from the bottommost reaches of [[DeviantArt]].

*'''[[adv|/adv/]]''' - /r9k/ 2: [[Electric Boogaloo]]. Advice was a test board that was made in attempts to deter all the [[LJ|bawww]] threads from /r9k/. Obviously the experiment had failed, but /adv/ got to hang around regardless.

*'''[[EXTREME ANIMALS|/an/]]''' - Animals and [[Bestiality|shit like that]]. These people take their hobby very seriously. You will learn things you never needed to know about [[Cat|cats]], iguanas and jumping [[Spider|spiders]]. The regulars there refer to themselves as /an/ts because they [[fail|couldn't come up with anything better]].

[[Image:Bannnff.jpg|thumb|/b/ = /b/oycock]]

*'''[[b|/b/]]''' - [[The Cancer That Is Killing /b/|What the fuck did you just say about me? MODS = FAGS slowpoke1.jpg rolling I wanna marry BAWKSY guis! Wincest thread shit was SO cash DESU hay guise do i look hot requesting cp I'm 12 and what is this I don't even She EPIN /b/.]] If you want to lose all moral value and sanity, feel free to visit /b/. The majority of all 4chan traffic frequents this board. Illnesses and sexual deviations including but certainly not limited to [[autism]] and [[scat|coprophilia]] have been [[lie|scientifically proven]] to be symptoms of browsing /b/. Most people who regularly visit /b/ (or "/b/tards") are sociopaths altogether. [[anonymous|They]] <s>are</s> were also known for planning and executing attacks on others using the internet, such as scientologists, Australia, and most recently [[Julian_Assange#Mastercard_is_taken_out|Mastercard]] and [[PayPal]] in a misguided attempt to avenge [[Julian Assange]]. However, since [[moot]] and his mods are a pack of faggots, 4chan raids are no more.

*'''[[bant/|/bant/]]''' - International/Random, aka the grotesque lovechild of /b/, /int/ and /pol/. Was created sometime [[last thursday]] by [[Hiroyuki Nishimura|hiromoot]] to try and stem the tide of shitty off-topic threads on /pol/, and [[Typical|failed miserably at doing so]]. The unholy synthesis of some of 4chan's worse boards ended up creating an entirely new form of cancer, populated entirely by [[underage]] [[Memefag|meme-spouting faggots]]. Is also the current home of the beleaguered [[K-pop|k-pop]] general, after it [[Jews|managed to get kicked out of every other board on 4chan]].

*'''[[Money|/biz/]]''' - Looking for a board where [[Poor|slumdogs]] can give you advice on how to make the big bucks? Then this is for you. Created by moot when [[Bitcoin|buttcoins]] overloaded the asshole of /g/ and had to unload all the e-money begging threads here. Be wary of what the /biz/raelis tell you about how they "made it" or about random [[Cryptocurrency|cryptocoins]] you've never heard of; the place is full of pump-and-dump [[Scam|scams]].

*'''[[Kawaii|/c/]]''' - A very tame board (compared to the rest) for [[nerds]] who prefer [[anime|Japanese cartoons]] containing girls (and the term is used lightly) who look like [[Lolicon|four year olds]] with freakishly huge eyes. [[lie|One of the four realms where women could plausibly exist on the Internet.]]

*'''[[Girugamesh|/cgl/]]''' - [[Cosplay]] & [[EGL]]. Board full of tacos that partake in salsa. Images of people dressed as their favorite anime characters are posted here. <s>A few</s> Most of those people happen to be [[Fat#BBW|quite obese]] and they get severe muffin top when they attempt to dress up as Yoko.

*'''[[ck|/ck/]]''' - Food & Cooking. A board for people who have an [[Fat|unhealthy obsession]] with all things edible. Expect weeaboos and [[ramen]].

*'''[[cm/|/cm/]]''' - A board for [[animated]] [[cute]] [[male]]s. A haven for [[gaiaonline|Gaia]]/[[livejournal|LJ]] fags and [[Rednecks|obese trailer trash]]. One of the four realms where [[sixteen year old girl|women]] exist on the internet. Also a place where [[Shotacat]] might hang out. Call them h/cm/os.

*'''[[co|/co/]]''' - Comics & Cartoons. A place where the [[Neckbeard|dregs of society]] congregate to talk about cartoons made for [[children]] and comic books made for [[manchildren]]. It's populated mostly by deeply closeted furfags that embrace racism and misogyny, to the point of reporting and removing posts calling them out. Also, they can't stop sucking their own cocks. They refer to themselves as /co/mrades.

*'''[[shitting dick nipples|/d/]]''' - /d/icks, because EVERY FUCKING CREATURE IN THERE HAS A DICK!!!1 - Perhaps the hottest of all the cartoon boards on 4chan, /d/ is where they post images of [[hermaphrodite|hermaphroditic]] females with titanically oversized [[Boobs|tits]]. It should be noted that those on this board find such things sexually attractive and [[fap]] away over the posted images. But at least they don't post furries! (Except in every single monster girl thread, which all descend into working out how "furry" a picture is and thus how faggy they are. They genuinely do not see the irony in this). These people can no longer piss in a straight line due to massive fappage.

*'''[[diy/|/diy/]]''' - Do-It-Yourself. No, not a board for posting shit tier quality webcam photos of yourself fapping. Probably the only potentially interesting board to emerge on October 23, 2011, its purpose is to encourage the large statistic of typical 4chan users that include [[g/|technophiles]], [[OCD|hoarders]], [[poor|poorfags]], and other people who spend way too much time at home to get their lazy asses away from the innanetz and actually do something productive with their time. To reduce the chance that this board will too quickly spiral into <s>fun</s> chaos, moot strictly disallowed sharing knowledge of crafting illegal items such as [[k/|weapons]] or [[420chan|drug paraphernalia]].

*'''[[almost raped|/e/]]''' - Ecchi. A specialized cartoon board where they post naked women without explicitly showing their reproductive organs (or {{wordfilter|text=PENIS|color=#00cc00|background=#ff88cc}}es). Wholly uninteresting, because it tends not to contain hilarious sexual fetishes or things blowing up. [[butthurt|Additionally, there is a 50% chance that if you post an ecchi image in a new thread, the moderators will accuse you of trying to make a request, banning you from /e/ for "this iz not /r/!!!!!1111"]]

*'''[[Flash|/f/]]''' - Flash. Somehow still hangs around despite Adobe killing Flash years ago. This board doesn't suffer from as much [[faggotry]] as some of the others due to the fact that most /b/tards have never fucking heard of it, and choose to dump their garbage onto /gif/ and /wsg/ instead. As a result, some good content has been posted on occasion, such as 8bitsharkwithwheels and flying lawnmower. Unfortunately, the rest of the content is shit already on [[Newgrounds]], reposts of flash videos that were already posted on /f/, and unfunny black person [[shoop da whoop|shoops]] of said reposts, except worse. [[Furries]] also like to troll this place by posting yiffing flash videos to piss everyone off. On Mondays, people love to post vocaloids flash videos.

*'''[[fa/|/fa/]]''' - Fashion. If you're looking for hipster faggots, /fa/ is the place to find them. This board might make sense on a site that wasn't filled with overweight wapanese assholes with no fashion sense of which to speak. But sadly, this is [[4chan]] we're talking about. Call them /fa/gs.

*'''[[fit|/fit/]]''' - <s>Health &</s> Fitness. Made out of fatasses who think posting SQUATZ in every thread is funny. Seeing as nobody on 4chan actually works out, the [[AIDS|fail]] is [[fail|doubled]]. The answer to every question is "SKWATZ N OATZ".

*[[g|'''/g/''']] - Technology. A lawless wasteland full of folk [[no life|lacking in life]] and substituting it with superficial techno-worship. It is evident to the observant electronic eye that no knowledgeable persons reside there. In ancient days it used to be for [[guro]] images, but then 4chan went pussy. [[Some Argue|It is well known]] /g/ is filled with more sage and nerdrage than any other board. They call themselves [[virgins|"tech support for the lulz"]].

*'''[[3/|/gd/]]''' - /3/, but in 2D.

*'''[[gif|/gif/]]''' - Board for posting animated GIFs of porno clips and saying "sauce" and "rapidshit" until someone goes out, finds you porn, and delivers it to you. Seriously, are you people that fucking devoted to being such utter basement-dwellers you can't just find your own porn, you have to get /gif/ to do it for you?

*'''[[hentai|/h/]]''' - Hentai. You can almost smell the [[semen]]-stained keyboards.

*'''[[Porn|/hc/]]''' - Hardcore porn. <s>[[moot]] finally decided to let it die.</s> One of the old boards that was revived on October 23, 2011. Probably the most normal porn you will see in any single collective area of 4chan. Expect plenty of photos of [[butterface|anon's ex-girlfriends]].

*'''[[Faggot|/hm/]]''' - Handsome Men. Intended for users to post up pictures of good looking men. Unfortunately it has become a horrific offspring of /b/ and /soc/ that is usually clogged up with threads that only consist of average to fugly [[Attention_whore|guys]] begging to see if [[Desperate|people will fuck them]], pointers on how to [[Rimjob|please your man]], and stories about their [[Shotacon|first gay experiences]]. Not to mention all the sick fucks here who masturbate to anything ranging from land whales to [[lemon-party]] to [[infantilism]]. [[Fact|This board is truly a piece of shit, even by 4chan standards.]]

*'''[[pix|/hr/]]''' - High Resolution. Originally intended for [[porn|pictures]] that are unnecessarily [[XBOX HUEG]] so it would take you 36 minutes to load anything on your grandma's shitty [[dial-up]]. Nowadays the focus has shifted to the discussion of [[Celebrity|Hollywood celebrities]] and their [[Foot Fetish|feet]].

*'''[[Pol/|/his/]]''' - History & Humanities. Basically /pol/ but with dates. Populated entirely by 21-year-old [[Pseudo-intellectual|pseudo-intellectuals]] who get their history from [[Paradox Interactive|video games]] and [[YouTube]] videos. Enjoy the daily Holocaust denial thread.

*'''[[Oekaki|/i/]]''' - No, this is not an [[I/|invasion board]], but a board for drawing. Why [[moot]] didn't just choose a different letter for the board is anyone's guess. [[Shit no one cares about|The "i" apparently comes from the last letter in the word "oekaki", which is moonspeak for "doodle" or "scribble"]]. The board has a built in application for drawing pictures to upload and share, called [[Shii|Shi]]-[[MS Paint|Painter]]. Not a bad board, but slower than fucked fuck. Gets about a dozen or so posts per day.

*'''[[ic/|/ic/]]''' - Artwork/Critique. [[Birkhead]] and [[drawhores]] who consider themselves too [[hipster]] for [[DeviantArt]].

*'''[[int/|/int/]]''' - International /b/, where trolls can [[troll]] in [[Spanish|their own retarded language]]. Otherwise, you can start a thread about just about anything, just as long as you append your shitty post with "in your country".

*'''[[Jailbait|/j/]]''' - The 4chan team's secret internal board. It's password-protected so you can't access unless you're a [[Moderator|faggot]].

*'''[[jp|/jp/]]''' - [[wapanese|Otaku]] [[basement dwellers|Culture]]. A board made for the sole purpose of moving all the [[Touhou]] and [[GAR|Type-Moon]] out of /a/, because they're actually off-topic. In other words, /jp/ is /v/, except that you need to install East Asian languages and AppLocale to run anything. Full of [[Forever Alone|ronery]] otakus buying figurines, body pillows, and other stuff "normal" people would look down on you for possessing. Please don't think that /jp/ has anything to do with Japan. The name is misleading, and, if you go there expecting to talk about [[IRL]] [[Japan]], you will be disappointed.

*'''[[k/|/k/]]''' - [[Politics|Weapons]]. Most of the denizens of this board are young Ted Kaczynski's, who believe that "the gubmint is gonna take our guns n' put us all in FEMA camps." One of the most common topics discussed on /k/ is how to kill [[Partyvan|feds]], [[niggers]], and [[Jews|ZOG]]. The other inhabitants of /k/ are mostly [[Europeans]] and weeaboo tripfags who are there solely to troll the incredibly easily trolled /k/ommandos with gun control topics.

*'''[[Lgbt/|/lgbt/]]''' - Moot's most recent attempt at going mainstream; catering to all [[fags|those]] who are [[Offended|butthurt]]. After all, why shouldn't [[You|fags]] have a [[s4s/|circlejerk board]]? The main board where most transissies complain about not being a girl or how badly they want to be a such a huge cock whore.

*'''[[Lit/|/lit/]]''' - Here is your damn [[book]] board ''moot!Ep8pui8Vw2 ## Admin''

*'''[[Gundam Wing|/m/]]''' - Board for talking about [[robot|robots]]. Just robots. [[animu|Anime]] ones.

*'''[[mlp/|/mlp/]]''' - For ponyfags. Basically it's just /b/ and /co/'s [[Rape|love]]child. It was created when the mods got asshurt about too many pony posts, and posting pony shit outside /mlp/ was made into a bannable offense as per the site's rules. It is the only rule the mods bother to enforce.

*'''[[Mu/|/mu/]]''' - Your favorite band sucks. If you've forgotten, /mu/ is happy to remind you. Made exclusively for discussing trv kvlt [[Black Metal]], [[Daft Punk]], and [[Neutral Milk Hotel]]. In other words, it's pretty much [[pitchfork media|pitchfork]].

*'''[[n/|/n/]]''' - /n/igga stoled mah board. A board for some gayshit about transportation (because every faggot who comes here loves [[cock|long and hard things]] like trains).

[[Image:4chan Left.jpg|thumb|You tell em]]

*'''[[Faux News|/news/]]''' - Not to be confused with [[pol/|/new/]]. A boring textboard where 50 year old [[Republican|Republicans]] hang around to share their favorite conspiracy updates from such reputable sources as ''daily-eagle.co.info''.

*'''[[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!|/o/]]''' - Board for [[car|cars]]. [[Noone|No one]] on this board actually owns a car. Regardless, most of the posters like Volvos, late 1980's Mustangs, [[wapanese|Japanese economy cars]], and Initial D.

*'''[[Outside|/out/]]''' - A board where [[Basement-dweller|outdoorsmen]] talk about fishing, fishing, fishing, and google pictures of scenery.

*'''[[Webcam|/p/]]''' - Photography. Full of pretentious [[hipster|hipsterfaggotry]] by weeaboos who take photographs when not [[fapping]] to [[lolicon]]. Whatever camera you use, they will claim that it sucks, unless it's a Pentax K-X.

*'''[[po|/po/]]''' Papercraft & Origami. Strong contender for the slowest board on 4chan, as it's been years since any normal person has actually given a shit about origami. But, hey, it's [[Japanese]] so it must be cool! The board's abbreviation is alternatively short for "poor" since it's filled with [[welfare|poorfag]] [[weeaboos]] asking for instructions on how to make substitute [[animu]] collectibles out of cardboard, and typically [[you fail it|failing miserably]] with their creations.

*'''[[Pol/|/pol/]]''' - Politics, or, /new/ 2: Electric Boogaloo. Once a place for [[Occupy Wall Street|OWS]] fags and stormfronters to gather in a circlejerk of [[Pseudo-intellectual|pseudo-intellectual]] opinions and images of [[Hitler|historical figures]] that they vaguely believe are relevant to their posts. It [[Donald Trump|has since]] grown to become one of the biggest boards on the site, even rivaling /b/ in its sheer flood of asinine garbage. [[Ron Paul|RON PAUL 2012 GUISE!!1!11]]

*'''[[Professional Wrestling|/pw/]]''' - [[Professional Wrestling]]. Has first been split from /sp/ to create /asp/, and then finally got its own dedicated board when [[Hiroyuki Nishimura|gookmoot]] realized the wrestling crapflood left no room for anyone to talk about rollerblades or whatever. As the subject matter might imply, it is full of limp-dicked little faggots who enjoy discussing their favorite TV soap opera played by [[Gay|sweaty men]] and [[MILF|skimpily-clad aging women]].

*'''[[Role-playing|/qst/]]''' - Quests. A place for [[Basement dwellers|boring fatsos]] to engage in [[LARP|make-belief fantasy adventures]] with other [[neckbeards]]. Some actually decent stuff can be found here (as long as you've resigned yourself to [[dying alone]] and enjoy this sort of collaborative [[Dungeons & Dragons]] [[shit|storytelling]]), but it is usually hidden beneath piles of uninspired trash written by illiterate monkeys.

*'''[[r|/r/]]''' - A mythical board where only few traverse. If, by some luck, you manage to find it, usually after you post a picture, in any thread (Posting pictures = Requests), you'll be no closer to finding the [[sauce|source]] of the picture, because /r/ is shit and never ever fucking works. Despite this, half of the fuckholes on 4chan will still sage [[you|your]] thread because [[butthurt|YOU NEED TO POST 10 IMAGES OR ELSE ITS A REQUEST HURRRRR]].

*'''[[r9k|/r9k/]]''' - <s>ROBOT9000</s> ROBOT9001. The main hangout of whiny [[faggots]] and [[incels]] on 4chan. Has a bot that tries (often unsuccessfully) to prevent reposts in hopes of promoting [[original content|OC]]. In practice it only encourages a [[TL;DR]] fest of whiny [[virgin|relationship]] threads and pseudo-intellectualism. When /adv/ was split from it, the original proceeded to get even worse, and it was finally removed in early 2011 (followed by weeks of random idiots swarming /b/ with [[BAWWW|"BRING BACK MY /R9K/"]] posts). It has since been revived by [[moot|mootikins]], to the dismay of the world at large. The board in its current state serves no apparent purpose other than to house boring [[Virgin with rage|virgins with rage]].

*'''[[s/|/s/]]''' - A place for preteen fanboys to yell NAME! SAUCE! MOAR! and fap to [[Porn|pr0n]]. The entire board consists of reposts of the same 500 images from the last two years. <s>Not /r/.</s>

*'''[[s4s|[s4s]]]'''- 4chan's ''dedicated'' shitposting board. In practice it's a place where moronic inbreds congregate to share anime pictures and talk like 5 year old children. The board is most notable for being one of the few places on the site where moderators still make their presence known; threads regularly get stickied and random HTML fuckery is not uncommon. The board is also a massive [[circlejerk]], spawning its own crop of mindbogglingly retarded memes and harboring a large amount of [[Namefag|namefags]].

*'''[[sci|/sci/]]''' - Science & Math. Most serious posters are [[Basement dweller|basement-dwelling]] [[Agnostic]] [[Atheist|Atheists]] with [[Aspergers]] and an [[IQ]] in the low 180s. Regularly flooded with religion and pseudo-science threads from /b/tards, along with requests for help with algebra homework from [[13 year old boys]]. Mods do not give two halves of a flying fuck about /sci/, and so it is heaven on Earth for people whose favorite trolling topic are [[calculus]] and [[Niggers|race science]].

[[Image:Naruto Fangirl.jpg|thumb|This is where [[camwhores]] pimp for fanboys to get their ''[[Naruto]]'' [[porn]] filled on their [[wishlist]]s. The name of this particular camwhore is [[Togi-Chan|Togi-chan]].]]

*'''[[soc/|/soc/]]''' - Social (aka Fat Camwhores and Faggots); or, part of the [[chemo|chemo that is curing /b/]]. Created very early in 2011, the board's contents are 95% cancerous bullshit transferred from [[B|/b/]] to attempt to cut down in 'Rate X', 'Post your area code' matchmaking threads, amongst other things. In other words, /soc/ is primarily the offspring of a half-dead /b/, in a shameless attempt to revive 4chan's flagship forum. Populated mostly by camwhores, (insert US province)fags, and anon. At one time, /soc/ was also a tripfag wonderland where a tripfag could become more popular than all others by continually whoring themselves however moot feared that someone might become more popular than him so he disabled trip ability. Now you may only namefag. WARNING: Nigger and Jew are now auto-ban words.

*'''[[sp|/sp/]]''' - Sports board. Good luck finding a thread that isn't USA vs. Europe, or about how BAWWston sucks cocks. 18-1.

*'''[[torrent|/t/]]''' - [[No|ZOMG TORRENT PL0X!!1!11!!1]]

*'''[[Dungeons & Dragons|/tg/]]''' - For the [[hipster|obscure]] [[nerd|4channer]] demographic that so desperately needs to evade reality, they play tabletop RPGs (Which everybody knows are against the will of our Lord, Mudkipz, and well, just plain wrong). Posting anything other than ''[[warhammer|Warhammer: 40,000]]'' and ''[[Emo|Magic: The Gathering]]'' or similar, or elf porn, will get you banned. Srsly.

*'''[[lego|/toy/]]''' - A nice playpen for the [[Retards|young at heart]]. Talk about [[Plastic crap|toys and figurines]] with other [[basement dweller|basement dwelling]] dumb fucks like [[Jin Saotome]].

*'''[[Into the trash it goes|/trash/]]''' - A secret hidden board where threads /co/ or /v/ doesn't want to deal with are dumped, as well as a place to discuss anything that isn't allowed on the other boards. Miraculously, despite housing nothing but [[yiff|furry porn]], it is the only board with actual manners and decent people, though again, [[furfag|that's not saying much]].

*'''[[real world|/trv/]]''' - Travel. As in [[LOL WUT|outside of mom's basement]]. One of the quieter boards on 4chan, obviously. People who do travel most likely wouldn't even go on 4chan in the first place, but sometimes, tourist post vacation pics in which, unsurprisingly, nobody gives a shit about.

*'''[[tv|/tv/]]''' - Obligatory television/movie board. Once was populated by [[Hipster|pretentious hipsters]] who went out of their way to find (and never watch) the most obscure arthouse films from Taiwan or whatever. Is now full of hordes of unwashed [[Memefag|memefags]] who pretend to talk about the latest [[Disney|Marvel]] dumpster fire whenever they're not obsessing over [[Big Black Cock|black cocks]] or [[Foot fetish|celebrity feet]].

*'''[[yuri|/u/]]''' - Board for fat men pretending to be women and 13 year old girls looking to discuss the latest chapter of their favorite worksafe [[lesbian|cutesy romance]] manga. Home of stolen pixiv artwork that these faggots are too lazy to credit (which simply requires using their fat fingers to press ctrl and v to actually credit the original faggot who made artwork for other faggots to choke the one-eyed snake to).

*'''[[v/|/v/]]''' - /b/ with [[video games|vidya gaems]]. Populated by [[trolls]], former [[GameFAQs]] users, former /b/tards, console [[fanboys]], and people who masturbate to depictions of [[Pedophile|underage video game characters]]. It's a common misconception that /v/ has no mods. This is false; /v/ has mods, they're just a bunch of [[Too lazy|lazy]] niggers. In a rare display of self-awareness, they refer to themselves as /v/irgins.

*'''[[faggot|/vg/]]''' - [[gay|GENERAL TOPICZ ON VIDEO GAESM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111]]

*'''[[retro|/vr/]]''' - [[lie|Because the /v/ and /vg/ boards weren't enough]], moot had the [[retarded|brilliant]] idea to add a [[Stale|Retro]] Gaming board. They haven't decided on a name for themselves yet, but no doubt they'll come up with something [[awesome]] like /vr/etards. Actually they're known as VR Troopers, and this board was needed to stem the tide of massive butthurt (that usually stems from someone having a sense of humor) and dramafagging. So far it's been more mellow than other boards, although faggotry still leaks in, such as furious debates over the shadow of the Black Omen from Chrono Trigger. Easiest way to piss them off is to mention [[Mario|Kaizo]] or [[Doom#Terry_and_Company|Terry]].

*'''[[Vp|/vp/]]''' - LOLPOKEMANZ!!1!1 [[moot]] created this board on July 14, 2010 due to the large amount of "Pokemon General" threads on /v/. <s>Frequent users of this board like to refer to themselves as /tr/ainers in attempts to further distance themselves from /v/.</s> Nowadays, these [[Faggot|fine folks]] prefer to call themselves [[Retards|"/vp/oreons"]], omitting the "a" of the name of a Pokémon they are [[Fap|all too familiar with]]. People who regularly visit /vp/ include underage b&, [[aspie]] adults, butthurt [[Digimon]] fans, and [[Gardevoir|closeted]] [[Lopunny|furries]]. JUST MAKE SURE NOT TO POST HENTAI WITHOUT A SPOILER TAG; THIS IS A [[faggot|WORKSAFE BOARD]] GUISE!

*'''[[Call of Duty|/vm/]]''' - No amount of boards seem to be enough to contain the sheer amount of [[vidya]] faggotry, and so /vm/, /vmg/, /vrpg/ and /vst/ were bolted onto the website sometime [[last Thursday]]. /vm/ is the dedicated [[Orgy|multiplayer]] games board. It's basically /v/ but you're only allowed to talk about [[Team Fortress 2]], [[World of Warcraft|MMORPGs]] and [[Street Fighter 2|shitty fighting games nobody cares about]].

*'''[[Genshin Impact|/vmg/]]''' - [[Geometry Dash|Mobile games]]. A mostly dead board occasionally visited only by [[poor]] [[Brazil|third worlders]] whenever they manage to obtain a stable internet connection.

*'''[[Final Fantasy|/vrpg/]]''' - RPG games. A place for sexless neckbeards to talk about boring decades-old [[RPG Maker]] games and have their daily [[Fallout|Fallout 3 vs. Fallout: New Vegas]] slapfight. Also ZOMG [[Skyrim|SKYRIM]]!!!1

*'''[[Zerg Rush|/vst/]]''' - Strategy games. Yet another /v/ reskin with not much going for it. Only notable for containing substantially more [[butthurt]] than the others, with users constantly complaining about the latest installments to their favorite franchises. The possibility of simply ''not buying'' the shovelware [[Dumbass|continues to elude them]].

*'''[[Unwarranted Self-Importance|/vip/]]''' - Hiro's latest attempt at boosting 4chan Pass sales. Only Pass users may post on this board. Completely pointless as there is nothing to talk about (other than their "oldfag" [[e-peen]] with the ''since4pass'' flair) and nobody even attempts to troll, lest they lose their [[Something Awful|10bux]]. As a result it's absolutely dead.

*'''[[Permavirgin|/vt/]]''' - [[Virtual Youtubers]]. A place for romantically-challenged losers to [[Masturbate|discuss]] the latest antics of their favorite Japanese woman with an animu avatar. Surprisingly lulzy, as the userbase is incredibly pathetic and all imagine themselves to be in one-sided relationships with their idols. As a result they are both easy to troll and have a tendency to post [[Sick fuck|extremely depraved]] sexually-charged ramblings about the objects of their desires. Thankfully, none of them are poised to leave their mom's basement anytime soon, so society at large is safe from these would-be rapists.

*'''[[Wapanese|/w/]]''' - For all your [[Engrish|wallpapers anime]]. As can be noted by merely observing that "w" comes before "wg", the anime board must have appeared such, only strengthening the entire "Japanese are 1,000x cooler than us" mentality. The only board that lacks (well, not as much "lack" as has a decline in) this philosophy is /b/.

*'''[[wallpaper|/wg/]]''' - Wallpapers/General. A board devoted to posting desktop wallpapers with pictures of anything ranging from cars to girls to [[drugs|random geometric designs and colorful scenery]], anything else a spoiled teenage boy or other typical basement dweller desires yet is unable to afford; likely due to his tendency to waste money on things like the latest several hundred dollars each series of displays for a multiple monitor setup. Also includes people too stupid to check [[4scrape]].

*'''[[gif|/wsg/]]''' - "Work-safe" version of /gif/. Added after various requests by people tired of all the porn on /gif/. Functions as 4chan's dedicated video-sharing board.

*'''[[SAUCE|/wsr/]]''' - Worksafe Requests. About as useless as plain ol' /r/.

*'''[[x/|/x/]]''' - Paranormal. Another oldfag filled /b/ outlet, except with ghosts. Here, late night insomniacs gather in attempts to scare each other shitless with posts like [[creepypasta]], images including [[Photoshopped]] "paranormal activity" and schizophrenic doodles, and anecdotes by [[insane|people]] who believe they have a sixth sense or are being haunted. [[Fact]]: every other post on this board ends with [[who was phone|"THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!"]] or [[Then A Skeleton Popped Out|"THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!!1"]]; [[shit nobody cares about|memes]] exclusive to /x/.

*'''[[EXTREME|/xs/]]''' - Extreme Sports. A place to discuss shit like [[Skateboard|skateboarding]], [[9/11|skydiving]], [[Kung Fu|martial arts]] and other stuff people cooler than [[you]] enjoy. Pretty much dead because the typical 4chan user is an overweight, short-sighted, wheezing little virgin who gets winded from just climbing up the stairs from his basement.

*'''[[yaoi|/y/]]''' - This is where girls and [[queer|guys]] masturbate to sodomy. When not doing so, they battle over which is hotter: guys that look like girls fucking each other or guys that would give Rambo an inferiority complex fucking each other. One of the four realms where women exist on the internet.

===Former/Retired Boards===

*'''[[wat|/5/]]''' - A "secret" board that existed for a brief while [[last Thursday|a long time ago]] and probably involved mods posting pictures of the number 5 or something.

*'''[[Hipsters|/asp/]]''' - A boards that consists of [[fags|hipsters]] discussing [[fucking stupid|way cool]] [[boring|alternative]] sports such as skateboarding. When they're not busy blogging about their latest rock climbing trip, they're brainstorming about inventing their own [[kewlies]] sport. Despite being a board for alternative sports, the board itself is full of wrestling thread and gay fanfiction of a wrestler who got [[Buck Breaking|anally raped by a pack of Bulbasaurs in the hot sweltering summer of 92]]. They call themselves /asp/ies. The board was eventually split into /pw/ and /xs/

*'''/fk/''' - For Kidz. Was opened as a joke board, but unlike [[s4s|/s4s/]] didn't get to stay. Became password protected for a long time before being quietly snuffed sometime around 2012.

*'''/g/''' - Before there was the /g/ we all know and hate, the /g/ board of 4chan stood for Guro, i.e. [[gore]] porn. Was shut down in late 2004.

*'''/ib/ & /ip/''' - Two absolutely dead boards that were eventually combined into the ever-so-slightly less dead /i/.

*'''/l/''' - [[Lolicon]]. Despite [[newfag|newfags]] denying its existence, and [[moot]] himself trying to make everyone forget about it, for a while 4chan had a dedicated loli board. The board went through expected turbulence, up to and including being deleted for a while, before being finally shut down completely in late 2004. Moved to not4chan.org by moot afterwards (don't bother clicking that, you sick fuck. not4chan itself has been dead for years).

*'''[[n|/new/]]''' - <s>'''N'''iggers & J'''ew'''s.</s> [[killdozer|Bulldozed]] along with /r9k/. Resurrected as [[pol/|/pol/]]

*'''[[q/|/q/]]''' - 4chan Discussion, added by moot as a place for butthurt faggots to cry about how shit and cancer filled the internet anus has become. Was unceremoniously closed when the whining reached uncontrollable levels.

*'''[[Fuck you|/qa/]]''' - A temporary board created for moot's final Q&A. Inexplicably stuck around with no discernible purpose until [[Hiroyuki Nishimura|Hiro]] officially made it into /q/ 2.0, only now with no obligation for mods to actually respond to complaints. Over time the lack of moderation allowed several consecutive groups of trolls make it their home. Was eventually locked and purged after an /lgbt/ raid. This event is commonly known by the /qa/ immigrants as The Great Soyset.

*'''[[rapidshit|/rs/]]''' - Rapidshares. Aggregated all filesharing links posted anywhere on 4chan, providing easy access for those who are hellbent on infecting their PC with malware. Effectively replaced the [[dead|now-defunct]] rapidsearch.yi.org, which was run by [[Food|Popcorn]] [[Mexico|Mariachi]].

*'''[[Random_Page|/yg/]]''' - <s>[http://zip.4chan.org/yg/imgboard.html Yogurt?]</s> What the shit? Gone, apparently.

*'''[[z/|/z/]]''' - An oldfag board far more cancerous than even present-day /b/, if you can even fathom such a concept. The board was constantly trolled by randomly chosen mods who liked to [[rape|decorate]] it with [[YTMND|animated GIF backgrounds and looped music]]. Users given a "/z/ ban" would not be able to access any other board but this one. After its removal, attempting to view it will only allow you to see the [[penis|lovely]] placeholder page that <s>has since taken its place</s> was also removed during a general site cleanup after moot left (for those curious, it was [[beecock]]).

*'''World4ch''' - For the longest time 4chan had integrated Japanese-style textboards tucked away in a shitty subbasement. They were absolutely dead and had a propensity to crap out and crash every other Tuesday. Most users were only made aware of them through links beneath the titles of several regular imageboards. The only one of note was /vip/ (no relation), which housed half a dozen mouthbreathers who insisted on constantly reposting the same ancient [[2ch]] memes from 2005.

==A Typical 4chan user==

<center>[[File:Ultimate Banhammer.jpg]]</center>

==4chan Moderators==
[[Image:Mod furries.png|thumb|Evidence that 4chan mods are furries. (note: bottom)]]

[[Image:team4chanotakon2005.jpg|200px|thumb|center|Team 4chan at Otakon 2005]]

All of 4chan's moderators were moot's friends from Something Awful or people who have lurked in #janiteam and #team4chan on Rizon until they turned into snail-people. You really do not want to be one.

===Former Mods===
[[Image:Moot.jpg|thumb|4chan's moot shortly after gaining his diploma in Mexican Vice Studies.]]

*[[W. T. Snacks]] was famous for banning many newfags on /b/ in an effort to make /b/ good. That made him [[cool]]. Moot got jealous of his e-fame and stripped him of his rank. He's less involved in the chan scene now, although he occasionally posts on /mu/ and /r9k/ with a tripcode. He also runs a radio show, "Midnight Snacks." His tripcode is TcT.PTG1.2 and he can be found in #4chan.
*MrSpooky is an ex-mod who spawned the catchphrases "I've never seen so many ingrates" and "You'll receive nothing from me." He frequently made stickies on /b/ begging for money because he got thrown in jail and now he needs donations to pay off his court fees. Smells real great. Now located here at ED with all you other fuckers as Mrs.Pooky!
*Anonymous-San - Quit due to stress, also due to him attempting to get it on with some 4chan girl (more info welcome).
*Shut
*Censored Vagina - Permabanned Something Awful pedophile. Talks about child genitals a lot.
*hova
*JDigital
*FrankStallone - Also known as dr.wiii. A huge Macfag and Nintendo DS gamer. Has a hard on for Churuya-san. He quit the internet (retired from modship) as of 12/1/2010.
*Shii - Wrote an earlier version of the textboards and ran them until he caused drama with moot.
*Allyson - A fat, underage whore that looks like the ugly tree that raped her through childhood, managed to go down on [[Moot]] long enough for him to give her Mod status. During all of this she apparently stalked a 4channer from her hometown, making her a [[slut]]. She's a filthy camwhore that has dozens of STDs and suffers from being a [[wapanese]] [[faggot]].
*[[DocEvil]] - Started out a Janitor on /tv/ eventaully became a mod and over the summer became a /b/ mod. <s>Mod removed after his friend got on his account and started baleeting shit.</s> He is back
*InspRedwood- A notorious mod best known for shitting up /a/, started out as a janitor on /co/ back in 2013 and became reviled for his/her constant heavy policing of threads, after the GamerGate incident was promoted to a mod and has since crusaded across 4chan as a ban happy SJW lunatic. Commonly seen circlejerking and stirring up drama on the IRC.

===Current Mods/Mod Sympathizers===

[[Image:Janiteam.gif|thumb|alt=4chan's "#janiteam" channel on Rizon|Janitor channel. Some of these motherfuckers are literally mods now]]

*ALTERNATIVE - Joining as 4chan's lead coder/scripter back in 2004, notable for asking moot to create /tg/, therefore a [[Fat|hugely]] socially inept beardo. Also goes by the [[IRC]] nicks "Dave" and "buttly". Has a yellow wife (a la [[Something Awful|Kyanka]]) who is shamefully ugly, as evinced by the fact that she had to settle for a 4chan dork instead of a more sukksessufuru Amelican. His likes include [[Shit_no_one_cares_about|outdated computer equipment, having theory-of-mind problems, and ancient shitty games.]] Has since become one of the sites three Admins with moots departure

[[File:Troid.png|200px|thumb|Troid in all his beta glory.]]

*Dongfix, aka Enumeric. Another shitty gamer. Owns Imgbear.com and writes scripts for janitors and mods to be hosted there. Information showing proving as such was first possibly leaked '''{{archive|rlFJZ|here}}'''. Feel free to read that thread and take a look at the [[4chan#External_links|external links.]]
*Sporks - Real name: Dan Levin is best known for wearing the yotsuba TF2 mask at Otakon.
*Zanok
[[Image:Invisibro_is_embarassing.jpg|122px|thumb|left|At left, Invisibro works on making whiteness even more humiliating.]]
*Zephro
*pixel - Startlingly dumb /b/ tripfag whose only claim to fame is the GET they mention in their vhost. May have been known as "maggot"/"kyat" at one point and is an actual "woman" insofar as it possesses a vagina-like aperture.
*MrVacBob - Succeeded Shii in writing and administrating the textboards. Enjoys programming and anime. AKA "Alexander Strange".
*I_AM_ABIB - Retro [[gamer|gaymer]] dork and anime pedo. Formerly a mere janitor, ABIB and a number of other second bananas were promoted to moderator in late '09 and began taking out their long-stifled aggressions on the boards. Rivals ALTERNATIVE in terms of burbling autistic hostility.
*Jay Irwin / Invisibro / gingermod / swaglord - Balding, [[Chris_Benoit|roid-raging]] ginger, also an [s4s] mod that sometimes posts in papyruse and comic sans.
*Concord- Retarded /b/ Mod who on accident posted with his name in his capcode instead of Anonymous ## MOD
*Troid- Real name Zack, resident tumblrina, redditor and mangina, usually found shitting up /a/ and cache banning any images from the site that end up exposing him. Was originally assigned in maintaining the 4chan archives but later had his archive privileges removed after going on a mass deletion spree whilst trying to cover up information about himself that was stored within the archives, despite such he retained his mod rights.
*RapeApe - A patron saint of [[pol|/pol/]], presumably the guy who sticked a video celebrating trumps victory on there. Known to be a [[QAnon|Qboomer]]/fan of [[Tucker Carlson]] or some shit, his endorsement of /pol/ shenanigans has caused '''{{archive|vRaze|extreme butthurt from the mainstream media}}''', claiming that 4chan is now a NATZEEE SITE!!!!!!!!1111ONE Cannot be entirely trusted, as he was one of the faggots known to delete [[GamerGate]] threads on /v/ back in 2014.
The login page for admin is [server name].4chan.org/[board name]/admin.php. The page for /b/ can be found '''{{archive|283lp|here}}'''

==UnderageB&==
[[Image:Cancerkids.jpg|thumb|Underage B&s are the cancer that is killing [[b|/b/]].]]
[[In before|Before]] [[the cancer that is killing /b/|cancer]] took over 4chan, most users were above the age of eighteen. Thanks mainly due to [[gore]]. [[b|/b/]] used to be a horrifying place and only those with the mental stability to handle the kind of shit posted had the balls to even [[lurk]]. Even when [[Shitting Dick Nipples|less horrifying memes]] became popular, the overall sense was terrifying. It was a [[Divide by zero|bad idea]] to leave /b/ on your computer when you went to go take a [[shit]].

Now, however, every post is written by someone around age twelve. These [[fag|faggots]] found out about 4chan through researching the black person on [[Habbo Hotel]]. Most hang around because /b/ is turning into the new [[eBaum's World]], with [[fail|funny]] parodies/2edgy4me jokes on [[IRL|real world]] events, pics of people SHOOPIN DER WHOOPS, and a place to get free [[pr0n]] without getting a virus as well.

This problem could be easily fixed if 4chan's mods [[BRING BACK SNACKS|grew some balls]] and started overly enforcing the [[ban hammer]], but we all know [[coward|that will never happen]] since if it did, there would be no /b/ left.

== Sticky, the 4chan Posting Guide ==

[[Image:Sticky.jpg|thumb|Meet Sticky! He's your guide to shitposting on /b/.]]

Sticky is 4chan's latest technology, a mutant inbred offspring of [[Jews]] and [[Clippit]] that [[moot]] [[Bullshit|worked really, really hard on]] for [[at least 100]] sleepless days in order to help newfags spout memes more and actually sound like they know what they're talking about to other newfags. While Sticky says he would like to help you with [[trolling]], he probably just wants to help you write a suicide note or [[rape]] you. He also doesn't seem to understand that copypasta and trolling is usually intricate work, and trying to do so without any experience will result in cancer like [[THE BEST]] and [[So Cash]]. Especially when he's flamboyant about his sexuality and weeaboo status. The best thing you can do is disable JavaScript or click "Don't show this tip again," although it likely won't do anything, because it didn't work any better trying to hide Clippit.

==4chan goes 2.0==

{|
| Before redesign: [[File:4chan_2005_Screenshot.jpg|center|300px]]
| After redesign: [[Image:4chan_2.0.gif|center|300px]]
|}

===The Day 4chan Died===
<pre>
A long, long, time ago,
I can still remember how that website used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my cat
That I could make those people laugh
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But December made me shiver
With every pic I’d deliver.
Bad news on the front page;
I couldn’t do anything but rage.

I can’t remember if I fainted out
When I read about this sellout,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the 4chan died.

So bye-bye, Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my browser at the homepage,
But the homepage made me cry.
And them Robert Hawkins was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Did mootle write the book of love,
And have you lost all faith in God above,
If the /b/ board tells you so?
Do you believe in An Hero,
Can 4chan save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to die real slow?

So bye-bye, Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my browser at the homepage,
But the homepage made me cry.
And them Robert Hawkins was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."

Now for four years we’ve been on our own
And mootle grows fat on his new page of home,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When Pedobear sang for the Partyvan,
Using CP he borrowed from 4chan
And a voice that came from anon alone,

Oh, and while the FBI were looking down,
Pedobear stole his horny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
The CP was returned.
And while pedobear read a book of loli,
The anon waited in the park,
And we sang the Bel Air theme in the dark
The day 4chan died.

No-one knew what the new hompepage meant,
The anons lurked in their mothers basement,
Eight hours old and failing fast.
It landed with web 2.0 on it's ass.
The /b/tards tried for a bangbros pass,
With slowpoke on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the Bel Air was sweet perfume
While the /b/tards played a marching tune.
We all got up to the pool,
Oh, and we made habbo look like fools!
`cause the afros tried to block the way;
The pool was closed, due to aids.
Do you recall who was r34'd
The day the 4chan died?

We started singing,
bye-bye, Epic Fail Guy.
Pointed my browser at the homepage,
But the homepage made me cry.
And them Robert Hawkins was drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."
</pre>

===The Future (old copypasta)===
<pre>
The change to the front page of 4chan may not appear
to have any significant effects as far as practicality goes.
But, I believe that it foreshadows much darker times to come.
For those who have their eyes open, you realize that almost
the whole world has been taken control of by a very corrupt and ruthless group of people.

This occurred through incremental methods, making small,
seemingly meaningless changes until so many changes had been made to society,
everything was different without anyone noticing. I believe that is what is
happening with 4chan. Mootle is making seemingly trivial changes to 4chan at
a slow pace, which will ultimately lead to our deepest fears: 4chan as an account-based
paysite with official merchandise, big corporate sponsorship, fake, contrived aesthetics,14
and perhaps even an official account of the history of 4chan which differs from reality.
Age verification will take place to visit any 18+ boards. All posts will be recorded.
GETS will be staged for real.

I've been here for over two years. I still feel like a "newfag"
(which is a word mostly used by newfags, ironically) but lately I realize
I've been here longer than 90% of 4chan users. Anyone who has been around
as long as I have can see that the real issue isn't the quality of posted
content, it's the changes that have been made to 4chan itself, the same way
things happen with any big corporation.

tl;dr, kill yourselves now
</pre>

== 4chan - hurt ==
<pre>
I checked on /b/ today
To see if I still feel
I see its filled with gay
What the fuck is their deal

The gays have but one hole
The traps are now a thing
Try to close the gay away
But I remember everything

What has /b/ become?
My sweetest friend
The oldfags that I knew
Went away in the end

And you can check what you want
My 4chan of shit
It will let you down
It will make you cringe

I close my browser now
Upon my dirty screen
Full of jizz and cum
I cannot make clean

I remember a great time
When WT snacks was there
Now he's somewhere else
He is still not here

And you can check what you want
My 4chan of shit
It will let you down
It will make you cringe

If I were but a mod
On my favorite chan
I would ban all the gay
I would find a way
</pre>

==2008==
===Gaiachan===
On February 12, 2008 [[Fag|Moot]] posted his [https://4chan.org/4channews.php?all#95 fucking will] (tl;dr) on the news page basically talking about imminent changes on 4chan (new trial boards, more janitors, how much he loves the site and [[TLDR|much more]]).

===02/19/2008 - The Trial boards and the death of Old /n/ - News===

[[Image:Thethreadthatkilledn.jpg|thumb|The thread that killed /n/.]]

On February 19, 2008, Moot added 9 new "trial" boards:
'''/fa/''' ([[Pro-Ana|Fashion]]), '''/fit/''' ([[Ghey|Health & Fitness]]), '''/hc/''' ([[Ripper|Hardcore]]), '''/jp/''' ([[Lolicon|Japan/]][[Touhou|General]]), '''/n/''' ([[Mantrain|Transportation]], replacing News), '''/r9k/''' ([[R9k|ROBOT9000]]), '''/sp/''' ([[Sport|Sports]]), '''/toy/''' ([[Dildo|Toys]]) and '''/trv/''' (Travel), while at the same time killing the commie-phobic '''[[pol/|/n/]]'''.

[[Image:Wikipedia loves 4chan.jpg|thumb|Wiki <3's 4chan!]]

===The Occupation of /n/===
During a battle with the site's upstream provider, the "/n/-transportation" board (which m♡♡t moderates) was forced off topic. The declarative post (to begin the occupation) was made on Monday, the 11th of April, 2008 at 7:13 pm with the text "Hello, I'm David Bowie." This was a blatant reference to the Adult Swim show the "Venture Brothers", and within the hour there were multiple threads about [[Barack Obama]], the [[Beijing Olympics]], [[abortion]] and the [[Texas Polygamist Raid]]. It was more than obvious that the anoraks had been invaded and their board occupied in order to be converted back to "/n/-news", yet, in the early hours of the morning, the "admins" reset the posts to remove anything not related to transport.

==2010==
===4chan on Jeopardy===
On February 23rd 2010, '''{{ytlink|fNaUiAVT0Ls|a clue was featured on Jeopardy in a category entitled 'Internet' containing a reference to 4chan.org}}''':
[[Image:4chanJeopardy_.png|frame|center|What is [[CP]]?]]

===4chan and the End of Days===
On the 1st of April 2010, a date which will always be remembered for [[trolls|April fools]], took a dark turn for the humble Anonymous posters of 4chan. Moot being the Jew he is, intergrated a 4chan facebook feature, meaning camwhores and faggots can now post directly between the two websights. This will lead to a influx of newfags like [[Anontalk|Anontalk]] to CP. Thx [[faggot|Moot]], good to see you always stuck out for the team. This was also marked with the second rising of [[Boxxy|Boxxy]] in the form of Deafsy. All contact has been lost with /v/, with only images of babby and a J-POP song being seen and heard, its the end, rape your children for you soon won't be able too.

On the 4th of April the facechan functionality was revealed to be a lame April Fool's joke, with the title of /b/ changing to [[loli|lol i]] [[troll|trol]] [[you|u]], resulting in much
bawwing and [[rage]]. Joke's on [[moot]], though, as any [[faggot]] knows that [[fail| you have to admit to your joke by midday on April 1st]]. Although the faggots that fell for it fail just as hard.

===Birthday===
Due to the fact that the typical 4chan lurker [[lie| is not a wanna be moderator]], on the seventh birthday ( [[9/11| 10/1/03]] ) Moot opened up a [[aim|meebo]] account only to have it overflowed within minutes. Moot redeemed his butt hurt fans by opening up an irc.

===Operation Overlord===
{{main|Operation Overlord}}

On the 14th of November 2010, 4chan was invaded by [[tumblr]]. Reactions such as "NOW WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO." erupted from now bonerless /b/tards everywhere.

Oh, lol, actually, tumblr failed and only DDoS'd the front page.

===PUDDI PUDDI===
{{main|Giga Pudding}}
On the 1st of December 2010 [[moot|some fucking hoebag]] embedded '''{{ytlink|B10BxYZqa1Q|this video}}''' at the top of every board on 4chan, although cute and pretty lulzy at first, <s>prolonged exposure to this video will ultimately drive you to finding the nearest pregnant woman and giving her a forced abortion with a rusty ladel while screaming uncontrollably and [[Pain series|crushing your testicles]] with your bare hands.</s> How hard is it to use AdBlock?

==2011==
===4/22/11 = THE END IS NEAR===

[[Image:4chan_without_adult_ads.png|200px|thumb|[[Shit no one cares about|OMG THE END IS NEAR]]]]

<s>On all NSFW pages of 4chan, the ads have gone. Possibly, due to the content of nature of the NSFW boards, essentially [[B|/b/]], the Advertising company ditched [[moot]] and left him for dead ad-less and thus loosing money. Hopefully, 4chan won't end up like the old [[ED]]...</s>

All NSFW pages now have ads again.

===5/1/11 [[America|AMERICA FUCK YEAH!]]===
As news came out regarding the death of [[Bin Laden]], moot decided to embed '''{{ytlink|IhnUgAaea4M|AMERICA FUCK YEAH}}''' into the /b/ board. this of course became old within minutes and /b/tards started banging their heads into their keyboards in an attempt to break their ears so they didn't have to hear it anymore.

===10/23/11 [[moot]] resurrects boards===
[[moot]] resurrects /r9k/, /new/ (now /pol/), and /hc/, and creates /diy/.

===The Siege===
4chan was DDoS'd on and off between 11/14/11 and 11/17/11. No word yet on the culprit, everything from [[tumblr]] (highly likely) to lulzsec (unlikely) has been put forward.

==2012==
===New Old /b/===
It was Valentine's Day 2012. Considering moot likes penis, he had nobody to stick it into. Bored out of his mind, he had the bright idea to perhaps start managing 4chan again. For once, he listened to Anon, because he actually allowed the pathetic virgins that inhabit to talk to their god and give Him suggestions. For a brief moment, OC flowed like fresh blood through a rotting corpse. Post ending in XXX <s>has been restored</s> is still gone :(, ponies and Chloe threads paused, and Moot said he would be adding up to 15 new boards, including a [[mlp/|a brony board]]. Could this be the Second Re/b/oot? For a while, it seemed like it wouldn't, but then moot did the unthinkable: He restored forced Anon but proceeded to give every poster 24-hour ID's, so [[Wat|posters are anonymous while not actually anonymous]]. /b/ finally returned to form: Cancer, shitposts and reposts have all but died. OC flowed through the land once again. But moot will find a way to fuck it up somehow.

Update: It went to hell quickly, cancer became terminal on /b/ once more, and moot ended up removing IDs in September [[2013|the next year]].

==2013==
2013 was the 10th year of 4chan, and as such, many [[boring|exciting]], new changes took place.
===New Boards===
In 2013 moot added several new boards: /gd/ for the hipsters, /asp/ for the [[wrestling|alternative]] [[skateboard|sports]] fans, /vr/ for the nostalgiafigs, /lgbt/ for the LGBT users (read: all of them,) and the infamous [[s4s|<nowiki>[s4s]</nowiki>]] for the funposters.

===AWA Con Panel===
After a dinner with old 4chan mods, moot had the absolutely ''great'' idea of holding another 4chan panel, despite the disastrous results of the Otakon panels years before. Since he and 4chan were '''{{archive|D0Puy|banned}}''' from having another panel at Otakon, Atlanta's AWA con was the nexyt best place to ruin. And so it was. Several days before the actual tenth anniversary, the panel was [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0QRnufms-0&t=3m25s streamed live on YT]. Users from boards such as /b/, /s4s/ and others crowded into [[synchtube]]-clone site rooms to watch the panel, resulting in shitposting across all boards as well as in the chats of said stream sites. The panel itself was incredibly boring and the only highlight was W.T. Snacks shouting an old classic, "why does your website suck," at moot after snatching the microphone from someone else who was probably just going to shout a catchphrase himself anyway.

For half an hour before the panel, all text on 4chan '''was turned bold.'''

===Deletion of /q/===
[[q/|/q/]] was deleted, and replaced with a hardly-used suggestion box.

==2014==
2014 was a year with much lulz for 4chan but it will go into history as it's fatal year. It was the year in which the 3 main happenings (Independance Day Tumblr Raid, The Fappening and Gamergate) triggered the downfall of 4chan and m00t finally gave in to the SJWs and became a traitor to his own chan.

===April Fools' 2014===
For April 1 2014, 4chan added a new site-wide notice explaining the change in the CAPTCHA system to the Japanese spelling of [[Touhou|CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN]] for the sake of improving the education of the userbase. The notice ends with the equally [[Weeaboo|weeaboo]] ''ゆっくりしていってね！！'', which is another equally terrible jap reference.

===Aussie Events===
Sometime in April 4chan was hacked by someone and all their faggot janitors got doxed. This resulted in mass confusion and celebratory champagne.

{{cg|auevents|Pics|center|<gallery>
File:Fwgisawhore.png
File:4chan AU Events (22).png
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</gallery>|<gallery>
File:4chan AU Events (18).png
File:4chan AU Events (16).png
File:4chan AU Events (15).png
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File:4chan AU Events (9).png
File:4chan AU Events (8).png
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File:4chan AU Events (2).jpg
File:4chan AU Events (1).jpg
</gallery>}}

===Independence Day Tumblr Raid===
{{main|Independence Day Invasion}}

===The Fappening===
{{main|The Fappening}}

===Gamergate===
{{main|GamerGate}}

===4chan is kill===
{{Main|M00t's GamerGate Sellout}}
Rumors have it that shortly after the [[Independence Day Invasion]], Moot was contacted by a mysterious individual whom claimed a girl had committed [[suicide]] over said raid, Moot, being the dickless faggot he is, complied with this individual's every demand in fear of getting v& IRL, most notably, it included giving all oldfag mods the finger and replacing them with new mods straight from [[tumblr]] who happily throw out permabans to users who post threads about [[Zoe Quinn]], [[gamergate]], and those who dare criticize [[feminism]].

[[some argue|Many believe]] 4chan has turned into an SJW infested shithole with no freedom of speech and therefore starting with the great 4chan exodus many anons started to migrate to their new home 8chan, where freedom of speech and privacy is taken seriously. It is assumed that m00t started to behave like a cuck because he did not want negative media attention for his new project canvas but he failed to reaize that his canvas project never had any chance. It is also believed that m00t gave in to the SJW becase he wanted to sell 4chan and therefore he had to mak the page appear as civillized as possible. Especially 2014 was a year with much drama involving the independance day raid, the fappening and the gamergate scandal which turned a lot of negative attention to 4chan.

{{cg|4chan is kill|Pics|center|<gallery>
File:4chan_is_die.jpg
</gallery>}}

== 2015 ==
=== January 2015 - Final sellout and le cuck est mort ===

[[Image:17th century 4chan.jpg|thumb|right|An 18th century representation of 4chan.]]

On 2015-01-17 a new requirement paper for 4chan janitors was leaked to 8chan's Hotwheels by an enraged 4chan Janitor and confirmed what many anons already assumed after the exodus. 4chan now officialy wanted his janitors to provide identification documents, a photograph that would be uploaded on a server so everybody can steal it and sign a legally binding contract in order to be fucking unpaid and voluntary janitors. Yes you read it right. m00t has now confirmed a second time that he is a SJW cuck who gives a shit about freedom and his shithole of imageboard is definetely dead. After he heard about the leak he pretended he wanted to post it anyway and made a posting on the official 4chan blog about it but secretly he was mad that he got exposed once again for the faggot he is.

After the dust settled a bit over the weekend (as it was anyway clear since September that m00t is a SJW sellout bitch) m00t announced on 2015-01-22 that he will retire from his postition as 4chan admin.
It was now clear that Hotwheels was the new emperor in the land of imageboards and the indulgent emperor he was, he even participated in m00ts farewell party that was organized on 8chan under the name of #jesuismoot and on the 8chan board /jesuismoot/ (just like the je suis charlie news that were prominent at that time). Hotwheels was not mad about m00t and remembered the good old days when he was on 4chan in his childhood and thanked m00t for the good time like a true indulgent emperor to a little brat.

However 8chans userbase did not share the good sentiments of their leader and decided to ridicule m00t on various image macros and thread postings. A phrase that was often used at that time was "le cuck est mort" a deviation of the French "le cock est mort" meaning the rooster is dead from the famous french song "le cock est mort". Another phrase that was used was "le roi est mort - vive le roi" implying that Hotwheels was now the unquestionned emperor of the imageboard-o-sphere. Also a funny fact is that Hotwheels was actually sleeping when m00t announced this because he lives in the Philippines and they have a time shift compared to America and so he was very surprised and one of the later ones who learned about m00ts retirement.

However, 4chan was now officially dead after about 11 years and 8chan also felt another influx of 4chan newfags who were in denial about the happenings of the last months but apparently noticed that they are now beeing ruled by SJW mods who started flooding their chan.

=== September 2015 - The End Two - Electric Boogaloo ===
On 9-21-15 the final death knell rang for 4chan's passing when m00t announced that Hiroyuki Nishimura (former owner and admin of [[2ch]]) would be taking his place as new head moderator and owner. 
Nishimura has a reputation for being a massive faggot who was even [[loser|unable to pay his server bills]] and violated Japanese privacy laws. After Jim took over 2ch, Nishimura was allowed to keep his admin position but in the end Jim had to fire him anyway because he was caught [https://anonymous-japan.org/fake2ch/ selling user data for jew goldz and letting political parties pay him for the right to shill on the website]. Nishimura then got [[butthurt]] that he was kicked and started [[DDoS]]-ing 2ch in revenge. After this action the whole 2ch userbase hated him even more than before and he even today still has persona-non-grata status all over 2ch.

He also allegedly had ties to the japanese government and [[NSA|american 3-letter organizations]]. 
m00t has fucked off since January to become a redditcuck.

{{cg|Le cuck est mort|Pics|center|<gallery>
File:Janitorleak.jpg|when Hotwheels learned about the issue
File:Janitorreq.jpg|the official 4chan blog page about it
File:Lecuckestmort.jpg|m00t officially announcing he will step down as admin
File:Jesuismoot.jpg|the farewell party at 8chan
File:MootNishimura.png|the official "news" posting
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>}} 

==Fanfic==
<big>'''A reading from Genesis'''</big> 

[Click to Collapse Text]
[Click to Expand Text]
0
<div id="vidone">
<pre>
In the beginning, there was Moot.
On the first day, Moot created 4chan and said "Lo, this is 4chan, bringer of pain."
On the second day, Moot created Anonymous. They became lonely so Moot created [[Bridget]];
Anonymous complained of this trap, but Moot proclaimed "There are no girls on the interbutt, Bridget will suffice."
On the third day, Moot gave man tripcode. "Behold tripcode," he said. "Only ye who wish to forgive may perform."
On the fourth day, Moot created /b/, and many Anonymous rejoiced.
On the fifth day, the server crashed, Moot's creation was in disarray and MySQL errors killed off many Anonymous with no mercy.
On the sixth day, there was a sticky, and many complained of this sticky and thus proclaimed 'This sticky sux0rz.'
On the seventh day, Moot sold 4chan.
</pre>
</div>

==Trump's effect on 4chan==

[[File:Trump Election Feels.png|center|700px]]

==Mobile Browser Support==
4chan makes a big deal out of the fact it supports mobile browsers. It even goes so far as to provide neat columns of images to fap to as you plan your next epic troll.

However, don't bother trying to post if you're one of the 300 million people who use Opera Mini. Or one of the [[over 9000]] people who use Opera's Main competitor, UC Browser. In their fight against trolls, spammers, rabid bronies, and Lucifer himself, 4chan bans anything vaguely resembling a proxy. Opera Mini passes all data through Opera servers, and these are treated as satanic proxies. Some might question why 4chan doesn't simply read the real IP address from Opera Mini's header data '''like any properly designed website should.''' The answer to that question will be someday discovered on [[b/|/b/]]. Or perhaps [[v/|/v/]]. Or,even [[no|possibly]], [[q/|/q/]].

==Gallery==
{{cg||failgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Browse4chan.png|Proceed with caution.
File:The new rules of 4chan.png|Don't let the lies on the rules page fool you: these are the actual rules that 4chan enforces.
Image:4channormalpeople.png|Full of normal people.
Image:4chan-motivational.jpg|You've been warned.
File:SEMENDEMONRETURNS.png
File:Monkey Vs $chan Banana.gif|Your reaction to a banana thread
File:NSA Spying On 4chan.jpg
Image:Cornwallis lol.JPG|4chan: The place where you admit wanting to fuck General Cornwallis.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:4Chan2005vs2016.jpg|then and now
File:Kill_the_4chan.jpg|'tis simple, really
File:4chan's role on the internet.jpg|<s>Her dick was ten times bigger and more painful to contain than his</s> They're both girls, dumbass
File:Only newfags use newfag as a personal insult.jpg|No freedom of speech in the queen's domain
File:Faggots234.jpg|4Chan IRL
File:4chan house.jpg|4chan House
File:Finger4chan.jpg
File:Agent Smith.jpg|Closeup of the cancer killing /b/
File:Corpsefuck.jpg
File:Livegrenade.jpg
File:4Chan Dick Visited.png
File:Typical 4chan user face.jpg|what the typical 4chan user looks like
File:Bodybag.jpg
File:TrouserSnake.jpg
File:4chanGPS.jpg
File:Makecoolcrystals.jpg
File:Anusworms.jpg
File:4channudecat.png
File:666666666.png
File:4chanfurfags.jpg
File:4chan user typical.jpg
File:Sportboard.jpg
File:4chan tiger cringe.jpg
File:Best Stalin.png
File:Black Nazi.jpg
File:Average 4chan user.jpg
File:Refugee Conspiracy.jpg
File:Dollfucker.png
File:Merchantguidegoy.png
File:4Chan Media Destruction.jpg
File:30kg.jpg
File:Actsofkindness.png
File:4changhostpuncher.png
File:Nigganimals.png
File:4chanchickenman.jpg
File:Memesofb.jpg|[[Memes]], lol
File:4chIveGivenuponreality.png
File:4chanbrovswomen.jpg
File:The-last-shooper.jpg|The last shooper
File:B hates ed.jpg|ED made newfags
File:88truthsoflife.jpg
File:Mootbuck.jpg
File:4chan-scene.jpg|Is this funny? I don't know (edit) No, it's not.
File:4chan 2.0.gif|Their faggoty new front page
File:4ChanVTECWRYYY.GIF|A gay little drawing
File:4chanHelpGuide.jpg|Knowing this will make you very [[l33t]] on 4chan.
File:4chan-government.jpg|TL;DR
File:4chanBrawl.png|4chan Brawl.
File:4chan-warning.jpg|Warning
File:4chan-Sage.jpg|[[Sage]]
File:4chan_-_Smash_face_on_keyboard_then_post_results.jpg
File:Samefag.png
File:SEMENDEMON.jpg
File:Semendemen.png
File:4chan-motivation.jpg|Ass 'n Titties
File:4chan-guide.jpg|A guide to all the boards.
File:to-the-point.Jpg|4chan gets straight to the point.
File:4chan-camwhore-guide.png|Camwhore guide
File:B summary.jpg|/b/
File:Downloadhentai.jpg|This is what 4chan is for.
File:4chandown.JPG|'''{{archive|SRHTE|mirror}}'''
File:4chan_shit.jpg
File:Bosch's4chan.jpg|Oh God...
File:Kill4u.jpg|An example of the high-brow users that frequent 4chan.
File:4chanMacro.jpg
File:Phail btard.jpg|Typical chan fag.
File:PartyVan.jpg
File:4chanchildren.PNG
File:4chanban.JPG|BAWWWWWWW!
File:Nodude.jpg
File:4chan demotivator.jpg|Another [[demotivator]]
File:Nigger thread.jpg|[[Demotivator]] from early [[R9gay|/r9k/]].
File:4chanmap.jpg|Your basic map of 4chan.
File:Holy council of 4chan.jpg
File:Banned2.png|Some have proven it IS possible to get banned from 4chan.
File:Bman.png|Typical 4channer.
File:Chemistslab.jpg
File:Choose1item.jpg
File:Differencebetweenmenandwomen.jpg
File:Peter_pan.jpg|[[What]].
File:Pinklolibrokeinternets.jpg|4chan + pink elephants = WIN!
File:Churchsign.jpg|Now I lay me down to sleep.
File:Googling_4chan.jpg|[https://www.google.com/search?q=inurl%3A4chan.org%2Fb&num=100&hl=en&safe=off&filter=0 Someones grandma is getting 4chan banned from the internet, one thread at a time.]
File:Mysql.png|Yotsuba causes most of 4chans server troubles.
File:Sinistar22.JPG|Beware, I live!
File:4chancookie.jpg|Typical 4chan cookie message
File:Newfags_are_killing_b.jpg|[[OMG|Oh my shitty fucking]] [[God]], go [[an hero|kill yourselves]].
File:4changoogle.jpg|4chan according to [[Google]].
File:Australia Tourist Trap.jpg
File:Hansen-pedo.gif|A pedo-bait .gif posted on 4chan.
File:4chan-pedo-thread.gif|The reaction to the previous .gif.
File:Poolesclosed.jpg|POOLE'S CLOSED
File:Memeslol.jpg|An even gayer drawing.
File:HC_sad_truth.png|The sad truth of /hc/.
File:A_CHALLENGER_APPEARS.jpg|[[A challenger appears]].
File:ONB.jpg|[[Something Awful]] explains 4chan.
File:Babyatcomputer.jpg|Your average 4chan user.
File:4chan tech support.png|4chan's tech support.
File:Getacompliment.png|Reporting spam in /[[g]]/ moves you up in life.
File:Fagatron.jpg|touch my Disko /b/al
File:4chan-venn-diagram.png|Welcome to 4chan.
File:DDoS.jpg|You are unwelcome at 4chan.
File:sadjesus.png|[[facepalm|Jesus is sad for 4chan]]
File:4chanbunny.jpg|Listen to the bunny, he knows best.
File:Queen moot.jpg|Bow before your queen
File:4chanOperator.jpg
File:4chan a thread1.png|How [[a/|/a/]] reacts to casuals
File:Axis_of_internet_evil.jpg
File:4Chan_-_Haets_Fur_Fags.png
File:4Chan_-_Employee.png|Always a great resume addition!
File:Example_%26_4Chan_-_B.jpg
File:3_tires.png
File:GayBlowjobPhotoshop.jpg|I RECOGNIZE THAT GAY BLOWJOB!
File:McDonalds_Embarrassing.png|Beta.
File:Walmart_Beta.jpg|More Beta.
File:Tour_De_Lune.png
File:Laid_Zero_Times.png|Such a lucky guy.
File:British_People.jpg
File:KoTH_I_Hate_Every_Single.png
File:I_try_to_masterbate.jpg|[[STDs|My masterbate is fire]].
File:Batman_Play.png
File:Mod_Swag.jpg|[[Mods]] are gods.
File:Mod_Zipper.png
File:Legsless_Lucy.png
File:7BONG.png
File:You_Dont_Know_Embarrassment.png
File:Best_Metal.jpg
File:Its_A_Privilege.png|[[pol|It was a privilege]].
File:Hellsing_Crosseye.jpg
File:Beta_Is_Alpha_As_Fuck.jpg|Even more Beta.
File:Time_Flies_Faggot.jpg|Time flies when you're a faggot.
File:v_goes_crazy.jpg|/v/ shows off how lonely they are.
File:Crocery_Store.jpg
File:Microwave_Pizza.jpg|Remember: The only people who buy microwaveable pizza are the ones who will most likely [[die alone]].
File:Dont_4chan_When_Its_Late.png
File:Rape_Yes.png|Always say [[yes]] before getting raped.
File:Rotaries_And_Straights_Troll.jpg|Typical /o/ discussion.
File:Snoop_Breaker.png|Don't EVER let /b/ [[divide by zero|successfully count to 10]].
File:Tow_Truck_Woes.png
File:Weird_Fucking_Fetishes.jpg|4chan is a great place to talk about your robot fetishes.
File:Drama!.gif
File:4chan-laser.jpg
File:4chan Better Than Sherlock.gif
File:4chan hobo fellatio.jpg
File:4chan-Racism.png
File:4chan b.png
File:4chan4eva1.png
File:4chanduringsex10.jpg
File:4chanchad.jpg
File:Comprehensiveguidetoshitposting.jpg|A comprehensive guide to shitposting.
File:Confusedanimegirls.png
File:Dubstheforbiddenone.jpg
File:UNInvestigates4chan.jpg|Investigated by UN
File:4chanduringsex8.jpg
File:Pandorasbox.jpg
File:4chanepiccreep.jpg
File:4chanstarwarscosplay.jpg
File:Geertwillrule.jpg
File:BUILDWALL.jpg
File:4chanweebfreaks.jpg
File:4chanslavroll.png
File:4chanvsreddit.png
File:Ripdandog.png
File:4chanstoryfags.png
File:4chanbattlestationfreak.jpg
File:Realityglitchgf.jpg
File:EDCfedora.jpg
File:Finalkek.jpg
File:Gameboyfellatio.png
File:Issacnewton4chan.jpg
File:Hitlergunclean.jpg
File:BLMcumtribute.png
File:Pcserviceautiststory.png
File:Genzfag.png
File:Waifutriggered.png
File:2014vs2015.jpg
File:4Chan User Faps To Horse Shit.jpg|This user jacks off to literal horse shit.
File:The Army Is Fucking Gay.jpg|4chan user describes his erotic experiences in the United States Military
File:ED User AlGore IRL.jpg|Typical 4chan fag
File:4chanyourenotwelcomehere.jpg
File:Fedorastalker.jpg
File:Suckmydickaccidentally.png
File:Convertsecondstomicrowavetime.png
File:Madmaxfuryroadshrek.jpg
File:RussianfindsISIS.jpg
File:Youravg4chanautist.png
File:4chstopbeinga.png
File:Validrapeclaims4ch.jpg
File:Injectglowstick.jpg
File:Altoidsautist.png
File:Kidtriestohirepersonalarmy.png
File:OPGFcockcalculaton.jpg
File:Findpassedoutskankatnight.jpg
File:Mommynomommynmooo.png
File:Irelandbritbong.png
File:Sentmycrushapoem.png
File:Rapealiens.jpg
File:Alpharabbit4ch.png
File:Seniorinhscringe.png
File:Pepewalmart.png
File:4chan Friends Meet.jpg
File:Elementarycrignetime.png
File:4Chan Count To 100.jpg
File:Cumbrowniesk.jpg
File:Elementarycringeage.png
File:Googlechildpr0n.png
File:2 25 2008 4chan.jpg
File:Aprils Fools Day 4chan.jpg
File:April 22 2007 4Chan Creativity.jpg
Image:4chanWP.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{frame|<youtube>Skyu6h1NTN8</youtube>|margin=auto}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Chanapocalypse]]
*[[4chan Gold Account]]
*[[4chan-verify]]
*[[chanarchive]]
*[[Fuuka]]
*[[B|/b/]] - Random board
*[[Pol/|/pol/]] - Political board
*''[[Time Magazine]]''
*[[moot]]
*[[Hiroyuki Nishimura]]
*[[brb, soup]]
*[[brb, compromised]]
*[[Old /b/ Day]]
*[[The xchan effect]]
*[[rape.sh]]
*[[4scrape]]
*[[4chan bans]]
*[[Moot is Olev]]
*[[Newfag]]
*[[July 29 Merchant broadcast]]
*[[4chan/WikiWorld]] - History - '''{{archive|drD9R}}''' [https://wiki.bibanon.org/4chan/History] '''{{archive|bOPOX#73%}}'''
*[[Pedophilia apologia]]
*[[Clovergender]]

==Chatroom==
See: [[4chan/IRC]].

==External links==

[[Image:J board.jpg|300px|thumb|4chans Janitor and Moderator board only accessible by [[Moderator|those who sucked moot off hard enough]], and no, you are not invited...]]

*{{twitter|4chan|4chan's twitter}}
*{{yt|c|UCCzaqOjCxPAwyQ0X1gxZ65w|4chan Official YouTube Account}}
*[https://wiki.bibanon.org/4chan/History The <s>incomplete</s> more or less complete history of 4chan] — A timeline of early history to the present.
*'''{{archive|Jdf3g|4chan image mirror}}''' — Realtime mirror of the /b/ images with categorizing, tagging, and searching.
*{{wayback|http://www.nopaste.com/p/a0EWbGqdC|20080814002801|title=Instructions on how to access 4chan (works as of 08/10/2008)}}.
*{{wayback|http://pedobaer.com|20091101074900|title=Pedobear}} — The Worlds Famous Meme Created By 4chan
*[https://blog.4chan.org/ 4chanstatus The current 4chan Status] — in case 4chan is [[Fap|inaccessible]].
*'''{{archive|Qkn8J|Additional Pylons}}''' — A compilation of 4chan [[lulz]]
*'''{{archive|rJIJ4|Sign the petition to get rid of furries on 4chan.}}'''
*'''{{archive|LpZK6|Macrochan}}''' — A collection of lame 4chan image macros.
*[http://macrochan.org/index.php Macrochan] — A completely different collection of lame 4chan image macros.
*'''{{archive|6ytEu|Chanhistory}}''' — A collection of 4chan screencaps.
*[https://www.google.com/search?q=inurl%3A4chan.org%2Fb&num=100&hl=en&safe=off&filter=0#ip=1 In response to a legal request submitted to Google, we have removed 508 result(s) from this page.] — 4chan banned from the Internet, one thread at a time.
*{{pastebin|jyN306Ce|Dongfix owns Imgbear: evidence}}
*'''{{archive|QfWZT|Dongfix's janitor script}}'''
*'''{{archive|rFhBe|Dongfix's report script}}'''
*[mailto:moot@4chan.org email moot]
<center>[[Image:Read the rules.png|link=https://www.4chan.org/rules]]</center>

{{chans}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 6, [[2009]]|[[Islam is the Light]]|[[4chan]]|[[Fail]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 24 and 25, [[2013]]|[[Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Lauren Faust]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article October 1 & October 2, [[2013]]|[[The xchan effect]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Silk Road]]}}

[[Category:Chans]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Galleries]]
[[Category:Sites]]

File:Bob Ross Sparta.jpg

2024-11-08T12:37:04Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Restored)

== Summary ==
Image Restoration (Restored)

File:Bird Dick.jpg

2024-11-07T22:16:31Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Replaced)

== Summary ==
Image Restoration (Replaced)

AOL

2024-11-07T21:54:32Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration (Deleted)

[[File:AOHellpic.jpg|center|IT'S KNOWLEDGE, IT'S POWER, IT SUCKS!]]

[[Image:Aol_dog.jpg|thumb|AOL is loved by all species.]]
[[File:Shingy on MSNBC.jpg|thumb|The top brass at AOL]]
Stands for "[[American]] Offline," and is sometimes referred to as "[[AOHell]]", "gAyOL","LOL", or "my shitty [[internets]]." It's <strike>one of the last surviving online services from the pre-home internet days, and originally offered an entire online system with limited internet access</strike> a [[virus]] that was invented at least [[100 years ago]], and was wide-spread, being a serious rival for [[MSN]]. Today it offers banal, mainstream content for an exorbitant fee and few useful features. It creates a warm, fuzzy, safe-feeling environment for those who fear being on the [[Internets]] alone.

An irony about AOL is its creation and ownership of the [[AOL Instant Messenger]] system which is heavily used by many people who have a vehement hatred for AOL the ISP, but don't hesitate to use the AOL IM feature as it is so ubiquitous amongst internet users that there is almost no escaping it. In other words, you hate AIM but have to use it because all of your friends are too stupid to use anything better. Also, AIM is guaranteed to make your computer 100% slower.

When AOL is referred to as an ISP, this is somewhat incorrect, AOL is actually considered a "content provider" as opposed to an [[Internets|Internet]] access provider. This is due to the fact that you must read at least a nominal part of AOL content before being given access to the raw [[Internet]]. But no one gives a shit.

AOL will never stop billing your credit card. ''Never.''

AOL was once the world's only source of 3.5" floppy disks. When they went to CD for distribution, they went out of business.

== AOL and AOLd People ==

[[Image:AOL subscriber fail.png|thumb|brb subscribers]]
No less than 100% of AOL users are either [[Oldfag|over the age of 68]], Niggers, or <s>trailer trash pieces of shit that can only afford their electricity by selling meth on their front porch</s> [[White trash|True Americans]]. These people rely on free AOL CDs and rip-off service charges to get their [[Pr0n]]. AOL will make your computer move slower than [[Smegma|Ronald McDonald's arteries]]. Anyone with a brain and more than twenty minutes of experience with the interwebs knows that joining AOL is on par with [[suicide]]. [[Fact|57% of the holes in the ozone layer are directly connected to the burning of AOL disks]] in various places, such as campgrounds, Jew and hobo fires. AOL is also the #1 cause of [[Africa|Cancer, AIDS, Polio, Influenza, Bubonic Plague, Malaria, Ebola, Cholera, and Smallpox]].

== AOL CDs ==
[[Image:AOL larper.jpg|thumb|AOL discs make great reflective armor.]]
Back in the day when AOL was the predominant Dial-up host, they offered these wonderful free trial [[CD]]s to '''everyone'''. People soon found that these round plastic disks offered more fun than AOL could ever offer. Below are some usages of the disks that anyone living in the [[United States]] is bound to have laying around:
[[Image:AOLDIDWTC.jpg|thumb|Too many free trial CDs!]]

# Coasters
# Frisbee
# Fly Swatter
# [[Ninja]] Stars
# Target Practice with Pellet guns
# Monster Rancher monsters
# Hood / rear-view mirror ornaments
# Inserting into anal passages
# Decapitating pigeons
# A castration device
# Leveling furniture
# Pooper scooper
# The next Boston bomb scare
# Pizza cutters
# Microwave electric light show
# Pizza Cutter
...and Many more!

[[Image:aol_dragon.jpg|thumb|The Ancient Chinese found a good use for all their AOL disks.]]

[[Image:AOL_Fail_Irony.JPG|thumb||AOL News at it's best]]

==So you got the sack?==
At the start of August 2006 after a frankly hilarious drop of about 16 million (lol, 50%) of the used since AOL's plateau, their huge fetid cock swung into action cutting 5,000 jobs worldwide while mumbling about its move from service provider to go and powder its nose. On 4th August foul noises were heard coming from the corner office at [http://corp.aol.com/ AOHell] HQ, most people believe this was the sound of Jonathan Miller (CEO) sucking Satan's cock, Amen. Concurrently, on a lower floor at the same location and at the exact same time a grateful soon-to-be ex employee was about to release the results of 500,000 AOL user searches in to the wild, amen again. Much [[lulz]] ensued after some geeks actually trawled the ten 200 MB .tex files and posted the most interesting finds around the internets. <s>These go from the [http://www.aolsearchdatabase.com/search.php?textfield=521960&textfield2=&textfield4=&sort=date desperate], to the [http://www.aolsearchdatabase.com/search.php?textfield=336865&textfield2=&textfield4=&sort=date fully insane], typifying most AOL'ers mental states</s>(404). AOL now offers free domain names to anyone that wants one, so they can now be the proud owner of the one you find and squat. AOLism, you're not alone.

==AOL was where everyone ran to==

AOL was many people's first foray into the Internet. Because of this, the AOL Tech Support went nuts trying to keep up.

<center>{{frame|<center><youtube>rIPQ-n5IJvA</youtube></center><center>'''AOL Whiner'''</center>|border=gray|background=gray}}</center>

==AOL as a great tool for [[vandalism]]==
[[Image:Kill AOL.jpg|thumb|Show the world how you feel about AOL... or at least the driver behind you.]]
AOL's system of changing IP addresses guarantees that if a wiki bans one person, they ban a lot. Also since your IP changes all the time, you can't be tracked down by your IP. [[Willy on Wheels]] used this to his advantage in vandalism.

In AOL's original font, lowercase "n" and "r" were placed so close together, when placed by each other "rn" it looked almost indistinguishable from a single lowercase "m". You could instantly troll as anyone who had the misfortune to have an "m" or on "rn" in their name (like ''anyone'' with "[[Your mom|mama]]" in their name) by making a new name with the opposite. AOL had to scramble to fix this one, hoo-boy.

== AOL is now free ==
Goodbye AOL CDs. AOL has decided to offer its service free of charge to users who already have a high speed internet connection. Those still on dial-up will continue to pay a fee to use the AOL service. However, subscribers to the "AOL for Broadband" service, where you bring your own high-speed internet connection to the party, will no longer have to pay subscription fees. This will result in a projected 2 billion dollar loss in revenue for the company and will hopefully lead to their demise.

AOL will also not continue to offer their customer support to these customers, eliminating their iron fisted TOS system and giving [[noobs]] and [[16 year old girls]] everywhere a chance to really express themselves with talk of [[dead babies]] and use of the words [[fuck]] and [[ass]]. This change in policy will of course also crush the soul of [[your mom]], taking away her ability to stick it to [[the man]] by stealing paid services from AOL using fake names and credit cards.

Of course, no one cares because everyone who uses AOL is a [[furry]]. Fuck AOL.

==Quitting AOL==

[[Image:aolman.jpg|thumb|right|A look at the tools of the trade]]
AOL is known to be harder then [[heroin]] to quit, and like [[cock|heroin]], it completely trashes the brain and body of whoever dared try. AOL was known for its [[retards|bright colors]] and pushing CDs with 1000 hours free, [[War on drugs|why not try it]]? Soon these [[fool|plebs]] where drawn into a [[game]] they should have known better than play, and after an intervention with [[common sense]], made the [[pain|painful]] choice to call AOL customer service and end their [[slavery|subscription]]. Little did they know they would be facing down an enemy with more [[psyops|psychological warfare]] training then a platoon of [[Dr. Phil|Dr. Phils]]. AOL hired "[[jews|retention clients]]" to help keep clients from leaving their service. These "[[bully|retention clients']]" job was to convince the customer that he was not always correct, and that they should stay with AOL. They did this with a retention manual that had more twists and turns than an addict's arm. It was so difficult to quit AOL that they were sued by the state of New York for violating state law. If you managed to quit, often AOL would just keep on billing you and keep your account just in case you decided to come back. This is utter and complete [[truth]], sadly enough.

== AOL Speak ==
You're supposed to talk in all caps if you use AOL. It's part of their [[TOS]]. All users of AOL are 12 year old l337 wannabees. This is [[Fact|FACT]]. Take this article for example, rendered in AOL:

[[13-year-old boy|STANDS FOR M3RICA ONLIEN AND WAS CR3AETD AT LEAST 10 YEARS AGO!!!!111! OMG WTF LOL SOM3TIEMS R3FAR3D 2 AS AOAL!11111! OMG ON3 OF DA LAST SURVIVNG ONLIEN SERVIECS FROM TEH PRA-HOM3 INTERNET DAYS!1!!! OMG WTF IT ORIGINALY OFERED AN ENTIER ONLIEN SYSTAM WIT LIMIETD INT3RN3T ACES!1!11 OMG LOL 2DAY IT OFERS BANAL MANESTR3M CONTANT FOR AN AXORBITANT FE AND FEW UESFUL FAATURES!111!1!! OMG WTF LOL IT CR3AETS A WARM FUZY SAEF-FELNG 3NVIRONMENT FOR THOSE WHO FEAR BNG ON TEH INTERNETS ALON3 AOL!111!1 LOL SI NOW PRADOMINANTLEY KNOWN AS DA ISP OF SOC3R MOMS 16 Y3AR OLD GIRLS AND A VARITABL3 MYRIAD OF PEOPL3 WIT NO INTARN3T SAVY!!!!1 OMG WTF IT SI ALSO DA LARGAST ISP IN DA WORLD!11!111 OMG WTF AN IRONY ABOUT AOL SI ITS CR3ATION AND OWNERSHIP OF TEH AOL INSTANT M3S3NG3R SYSTEM WHICH SI H3AVILEY UESD BY MANY PEOPLA WHO HAEV A V3HEMENT HATRED FOR AOL TEH ISP BUT DONT H3SITAET 2 UES DA AOL IM FEATURE AS IT SI SO UBIQUI2US MONGST INTERN3T UESRS TAHT THEYRE SI ALMOST NO ESCAPNG U!1111!!!! OMG WTF SUPOSAD 2 TOK IN AL CAPS IF U UES AOL!!1!1! ITS PART OF THERE 2S WHEN!1!111!! OMG LOL AOL SI R3FERAD 2 AS AN ISP THES SI WUT INCOR3CT AOL SI ACTUALY CONSIEDRED A CONTANT PROVIEDR AS OPOS3D 2 AN INT3RN3T AC3S PROVIEDR!1!11!1!1 LOL THES SI DUA 2 DA FACT TAHT U MUST R3AD AT LEAST A NOMINAL PART OF AOL CONT3NT BFORE BNG GIEVN ACAS 2 DA RAW INT3RNET!!1!1 BUT NO ONE GIEVS A SHIT AOL!!1!!! OMG WTF WIL N3V3R S2P BILNG UR CRADIT CARD!!11!! WTF NEVAR!!!!11!!! LOL]]

Need Moar?
Here is something that's supposed to be smart, turned into gAyOL talk.

DA GRANDFATHAR PARADOX SI A PROPOSAD PARADOX OF TIEM TRAEVL FIRST DASCRIEBD BY DA SCEINCE FICTION WRIETR R3NÉ BARJAEVL IN HIS 1943 BOK LE VOYAEGUR IMPRUDENT (TH3 IMPRUDENT TRAEVL3R)[1]!!!!1 WTF LOL DA PARADOX SI THIS SUPOSE A MAN TRAEVL3D BAK IN TIEM AND KIL3D HIS BIOLOGICAL GRANDFATH3R BFOR3 TEH LATAR MAT DA TRAEVL3RS GRANDMOTHER!11!11 WTF AS A RASULT ONE OF TEH TRAEVLERS PAERNTS (AND BY AXT3NSION TEH TRAEVLER HIMS3LF) WUD N3V3R HAEV B3N CONC3IEVD!!1!11! OMG THES WUD IMPLEY TAHT H3 CUD NOT HAEV TRAEVLED BAK IN TIEM AFT3R AL WHICH IN TURN IMPLEIS DA GRANDFATH3R WUD STIL B ALIEV AND TEH TRAEVLAR WUD HAEV B3N CONCEIEVD ALOWNG HIM 2 TRAEVL BAK IN TIEM AND KIL HIS GRANDFATHER!!!!!11 OMG THUS EACH POSIBILITY SEMS 2 IMPLEY ITS OWN NEGATION A TYPA OF LOGICAL PARADOX

AN!!11!!! LOL AQUIVAELNT PARADOX SI KNOWN (IN PHILOSOPHY) AS AU2INFANTICIED—TAHT IS GONG BAK IN TIEM AND KILNG ONES3LF AS A BABY—THOUGH WHEN TEH WORD WAS FIRST COIEND IN A PAEPR BY PAUL HORWICH HA UESD TEH OD V3RSION AU2FANTICIED[2]

TH3!!11!!1 LOL GRANDFATHAR PARADOX HAS B3N UESD 2 ARGUE TAHT BAKWARDS TIEM TRAEVL MUST B IMPOSIBL3!111!!!1 OMG HOWEVER A NUMBR OF POSIBLE WAYS OF AVOIDNG TEH PARADOX HAEV BEN PROPOSED SUCH AS TEH IEDA TAHT DA TIEMLIEN SI FIEXD AND UNCHANGAABLE OR TEH IEDA TAHT TEH TIEM TRAEVLER WIL 3ND UP IN A PARALAL TIEMLIEN WHIEL DA TIEMLIEN IN WHICH DA TRAEVLER WAS BORN REMANES INDEPEND3NT
!1!!1!1 WTF LOL

I have a dream in A(lOl)L speak

LET US NOT WALOW IN TEH VAL3Y OF DESPARE I SAY 2 U 2DAY MAH FREINDS
AND!1!11!1! WTF SO 3VAN THOUGH WA FAEC DA DIFICULTEIS OF 2DAY AND 2MOROW I STIL HAEV A DREM!1!1!!111 IT SI A DR3M DEPLEY ROTED IN DA MERICAN DR3M
I!!11! LOL HAEV A DRAM TAHT ONE DAY THES NATION WIL RIES UP AND LIEV OUT TEH TRUE M3ANNG OF ITS CRED W3 HOLD THASE TRUTHS 2 B S3LF-3VIEDNT TAHT AL MEN R CRAAETD EQUAL
I!11!!11 LOL HAEV A DRAM TAHT ON3 DAY ON DA R3D HILS OF GAORGIA TEH SONS OF FORMER SLAEVS AND DA SONS OF FORMER SLAEV OWNERS WIL B ABLE 2 SIT DOWN 2GETH3R AT DA TABLE OF BROTHARHOD
I!!!11!111 WTF HAEV A DREM TAHT ONA DAY 3VAN DA STAET OF MISISIPI A STAET SWELTERNG WIT TEH H3AT OF INJUSTIEC SWELTARNG WIT DA HEAT OF OPR3SION WIL B TRANSFORMAD IN2 AN OASIS OF FREDOM AND JUSTIEC
I!!!1! LOL HAEV A DREM TAHT MAH FOUR LITL3 CHILDR3N WIL ON3 DAY LIEV IN A NATION WHER3 THEY WIL NOT B JUDG3D BY DA COLOR OF THERE SKIN BUT BY DA CONTENT OF THEYRE CHARACT3R!!!!!1!1! WTF LOL

[[TL;DR]]
Use [http://web.archive.org/web/20040618160353/http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html this tool] to generate retard-speak.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:AOL Anywhere.jpg
</gallery>

==Videos==

{{clear}}
<center>
{{fv|aol|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>nA1tLxfdif4</youtube>'''AOL 4.0 works no moar after June. Get those ten free hours nao so you can cruise the information super highway.'''
}}</center>

==See Also==
*[[Aimgirl.com]]
*[[Aol.pl]]

==External links==
*[https://www.dialupsound.com/ Relive the glory days of dial-up!]
*[http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/aol/the-best-thing-we-have-ever-posted-reader-tries-to-cancel-aol-180392.php Person tries to cancel AOL and AOL won't let him] - read this before the second link
*[http://consumerist.com/consumer/exclusive/aol-retention-manual-revealed-188005.php Why AOL won't let you cancel] - includes AOL's Secret "AOL Retention Manual."
*[http://www.aolsearchdatabase.com/ A tool to give insight in to the mind of AOL]

{{oldweb}}

{{Timeline|Featured article October 23, [[2005]]|[[Frienditto]]|[[AOL]]|[[Cutting]]}}

{{Language}}
{{softwarez}}
[[Category:Softwarez]]

User:Firatpen

2024-11-07T20:41:27Z

Firatpen: Created page with "{{virgin}}"

9/11

2024-10-25T19:08:26Z

Firatpen:

{|style="background-color:#d8d8d8; border: 2px solid #000000; padding: 1px; color:red" cellpadding="2" align="center"
|BGCOLOR=#000000| [[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]]

[[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]]

[[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]]

[[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]][[File:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif|100px|link=]]
|style="padding:2px"|<center><big>Lose 19 iPods?</big></center> <center>This page contains 19 [[an hero|an heroes]].</center>
|}
{{an prophet}}
{{Offended}}
 
{{spoiler|WTC7 was holding OFFICES OF THE CIA, DOD, IRS, secret service, Con Edison, and BIG BANKS. It <s>"BURNED TO THE GROUND"</s> WAS DEMOLISHED... AND no [[media|one]] TALKS ABOUT IT!!}}
{{spoiler|It has been {{age|2001|09|11}} years since the attacks have happened… and [[Americunts]] are still bitching about it!}}
{{achtung|[[Rucka Rucka Ali|I'm gonna fly some planes into a couple buildings in Manhattan, I'm-I'm Osama, run tell future president Obama, I'm your fucking uncle]]}}
 
<big><big><big><big><center>✈ ▌▌ / ¦҉▌▌ / ▄ ▌ / ▄✈▌ / ▄ ¦҉▌ / ▄ ▄</center></big></big></big></big>
 
[[Image:Supermandidwtc.gif|center|]]
 
{{ib|[[File:WTC.jpg|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''9/11'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Saudi Arabia|Saudi]]  [[File:MiniflagSaudiArabia.png]] (15) [[United Arab Emirates|Emirati]]  [[File:MiniflagUAE.png]] (2) [[Egyptian]]  [[File:MiniflagEgypt.png]] (1) [[Lebanese]]  [[File:MiniflagLebanon.png]] (1)}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 2,977, injured 6,000+}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|[[High Score|1st!!!!1!!1!]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|Microsoft Flight Simulator, Co-Op Mode}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|[[Islam|Snackbar]]}}
{{Ibend}}
{{911}}
[[Image:Nevar_forget_911.jpg|thumb|left|RIP John Candy, now that's a fucking tragedy]]
[[File:O wtc69.gif|thumb|right|Obama watching his favorite movie.]]
[[File:Nyan11.jpg|thumb|right|[[Nyan Cat]] did it.]]
[[File:911frog.jpg|thumb|right|[[GET OUT]].]]
[[File:Quaritch 911.jpg|thumb|This is just how much fuck [[Colonel Quaritch does not give a fuck|Col. Quiddich]] gives about 9/11.]]
[[Image:Fuck-911.png|thumb|LOL [[Americunts]].]]
[[Image:911truth.jpg|thumb|220px|right|[[Animu|Japan did WTC]]]]
[[Image:Wtclongcat.jpg|thumb|220px|[[Longcat]] is looooooooong, but the time we must remember is looooooooooooooonger.]]
[[File:Fuck You America.jpg|thumb|220px|right|[[lulz|This is what the rest of the world thinks about 9/11.]]]]
[[Image:WTCRule34.png|thumb|220px|[[Rule 34]] never fails.]]
[[Image:Animu911.jpg|220px|thumb|Wwwwwwwww.]]

'''9/11 was a series of funny attacks conducted by <s>[[JEWS DID WTC|Jews]]</s> Mossad [https://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=123885], with the full cooperation of Israel & the Vice President of the United States, ([[Dick Cheney]]),
[https://911research.wtc7.net/disinfo/alibis/cheney.html] and his good friends in the American-Israeli political lobby. These attacks were intentionally blamed on Muslim terrorists to serve as pretext for a war with Afghanistan; which Dick Cheney had been planning since July 2001. Then-Pakistani Foreign Secretary, Niaz Naik, was told about the pending war that summer, in order that the Pakistani government would be aware of the need to use its airspace [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/1550366.stm]'''

Four planes were hijacked by men who were radicalised by Israeli Mossad intelligence and led to believe they were working for al Qaeda, and then subsequently flown into several American landmarks. '''{{wikilink|Lavon_Affair|}}'''

That same afternoon, despite apparently having no intelligence on the hijackers before they hijacked the planes, the Bush (Arab Oil Connections) Crime Family suddenly had a list of 19 “suspects” it claimed had been responsible for the attacks. Then, despite claiming to know nothing about these men, decided they worked for Al Qaeda. Several weeks after the attacks, it became clear that at least several of the hijackers were not using their real identities during the flights, yet traditional media sources have never changed the original list of names.[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/1559151.stm] [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/saudiarabia/1341391/Revealed-the-men-with-stolen-identities.html]

After the attacks, the WTC buildings fell down completely symmetrically, at free fall speed. Despite this, the NIST investigation officially sanctioned by the Bush Crime Family failed to test for the presence of any type of explosive.[https://www.nist.gov/world-trade-center-investigation/study-faqs/wtc-towers-investigation] Danish chemistry expert Professor Niels Harrit however proved in 2009 that military grade thermate charges were used to cut the buildings' resistance to their own weight, so that gravity dragged them to the ground. '''{{archive|JcFcT|}}'''

However, in spite of Harrit's findings, millions of Americans continue to deny the existence of basic laws of physics which prevent the symmetrical, free fall collapse of buildings which have been struck horizontally five sixths of the way up (north tower). These laws include: f=ma, the law of mechanical equilibrium, conservation of energy and Newton's third law. Additionally, the principles of falling to the path of least resistance and Occam's Razor are also violated by the official explanation.

L. Paul Bremer, the man who first appeared on television newscreens at 12.45 pm that same day to suggest Osama bin Laden may have been the '''{{ytlink|jNP3PdstwRM|culprit}}''', worked at Marsh & McLennan, the same company whose offices occupied ''precisely'' the impact zone of Flight 11 (floors 93-100). Bremer himself was supposed to be present for a meeting that morning, but understandably didn't turn up for the barbecue party. Ironically, Bremer previously sat on the board of advisors for Japanese machinery company Komatsu, who, working in conjunction with Dresser industries (an oil company with links to Bush senior that merged with Haliburton in 1998 '''{{wikilink|Dresser_Industries|}}'''), patented a thermate demolition charge in 1996 which ''"demolishes a concrete structure at a high efficiency, while preventing a secondary problem due to noise, flying dust and chips, and the like."'' '''{{archive|iMf4a|}}'''

Practically every available eyewitness on scene at the WTC reported that they thought they saw a demolition, including Dominick Derubbio, Battalion Chief (F.D.N.Y., Div 8), who said: ''"It was weird the way it came down. It looked just like a timed explosion"'', and Brian Dixon, Battalion Chief (F.D.N.Y.), who said: ''"the lowest floor of fire in the south tower actually looked like someone had planted explosives around it"''. Upon seeing WT7 collapse on video, Dutch demolitions expert Danny Jowenko said: ''"This is demolition. Without a doubt. A team of experts did this."''

Still, America being the planet's first official idiocracy, many people would sooner believe the word of a proven liar, than mathematical laws discovered by [[Isaac Newton]] and practiced for 400 years.

'''Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the [[al-Qaeda]] commander who the US claims to have in custody and is presently trying to charge with masterminding the 9/11 attacks, died in an ISI raid in Karachi in {{wayback|http://www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/DJ30Df01.html|20190129220636|title=2002}}. This explains why the only "evidence" linking him to the attacks is his own confession, taken after he was waterboarded 183 times at Guantanamo Bay.[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/5185835/CIA-waterboarded-Khalid-Sheikh-Mohammed-183-times.html]. His death has been covered up by the US administration and that lie is being freely propagated on major US sites such as Wikipedia.'''

----

[[9/11]] is also the date on which Praetor [[Hitler|Pinochet]] built enough pylons and killed over 9000 commies for the lulz. The world is a better place since 1973. Commie Cerebrate Allende will always be remembered as [[an hero]].

[[9/11]] is also known to be the date Jews blew up the twin towers [https://www.google.com/search?q=Larry+Silverstein+insurance+policy to get insurance money.]

[[9/11]] is also the day Papa Bush started the [[Iraq|Gulf War]], 11 years BWTC.

[[9/11]] is 111 days before [[Party hard|new year]].

[[9/11]] is what you call when the World Trade Centers fall down.

[[9/11]] is also known to be the date when a bunch of rightards attacked and killed 30 workers in Cochabamba, Bolivia, [[Delete fucking everything|throwing the bodies to the river]].

[[9/11]] was actually performed by a [https://everything2.com/e2node/Japanese%2520Red%2520Army group of Japanese Anime fans]. Sadly, [[W|President Bush]] didn't drop [[over 9000]] nukes on Japan, instead he just killed some totally <s>unrelated and innocent</s> unamerican people in Afghanistan and Iraq. [[Jews|But we must never forget who was responsible]].

[[9/11]] Greatest Outdoor BBQ Ever

[[9/11]] 9-2 = 7/11, a popular Amerikunt inconvenience store serving 4-gallon atomic sugar slushies to low income families and low self-esteem women. A recent study done by the South Harmon Institute of Technology has found 7/11 to be responsible for 3/4 of diabetes-related deaths in the United-States, making it 30 million times (14 million times if counted using Chinese people) more deadly than the September 11th attacks. Following the publishing of these results, the CEO of the company, Derp Jr. the 14th, subsequently released a statement expressing deep feelings of regret to his W.A.S.P. shareholders for not having met their yearly target of killing at least 34 million niggers using the Bling-Bling branded weed-flavored slushie. Shares dropped 42% following this announcement.

[[9/11]]'s deaths were 2996. Bible hero Samson, also killed 3000 people by making a building collapse in a suicide attack. The 9/11 hijackers may one day be remembered similarly.

[[9/11]] Best game of Jenga ever.

==Holy Fucking Shit==
[[Image:Tetristowers.gif|frame|[[Tetris|The fun begins.]]]]
[[File:420lol.jpg|thumb|right|Snoop didn't forget.]]

In common [[internets]] parlance and on various [[old media]] outlets, 9/11 is used to make [[liberals]] feel guilty for [[Why_do_you_hate_America?|hating America]], not supporting the war in [[Iraq]], and forgetting about [[Poland]]. If you suggest that there was any significant reason for people to commit suicide while killing 2,996 people you are a conspiracy theorist and will be pwned with [[Bullshit|impenetrable conservative logic]], seen '''{{wikilink|Talk:Bin_Laden_(song)|here}}'''. Meanwhile, [[Conservatives]] and serial killer [[Fail|George W. Bush]] use it to justify their political ideology as well as any policies that may seem, on the face of it, [[stupid]] or [[Insane|crazy]].

{{quote|[[butthurt|YOU GUYS ARE ALL ASWHOLES! - PEOPLE FUKING DIAED AT 9/111, ED IS A BUNCH OF LOSSERS AND FAGOTS. YOU ALL DISCUST ME... WE ARE AT WAR, STRT BEEING MOORE PAYTRIOTIC. IM SOORY FOR SPELING, I AM DISLEXIC]] [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/File:911wuzfunnyr.jpg].|[[goatse|SPARTAN BALLS]]}}.
[[IRL]], the term 9/11 is often associated with cheesy, über-patriotic imagery of [[I Like to Watch|the event]], such as on [[mall]]-bought t-shirts proclaiming "NEVER FORGET!", and on the bumper stickers of countless SUVs. All of this swag is made in [[China]], further funding [[Russia|Communism]]. Inciting 9/11 in a comedic manner will warrant [[over 9000]] [[Americunts]] to baawww in protest, causing, for the most part, lulz. Thus, 9/11 is the best topic to bring up when bashing the [[USA|Jewnited States of Americunts]]

[[facepalm|It is a common theory that on 9/11, America was under attack. But, in reality, if America was under a tack, that would be one huge ass tack.]] A tack of this size has not been seen in the wild for [[over 9000]] years, but is rumors to have been sighted in space [[Last thursday|Last Thursday]].

==A Bucket Of Cold Water==
 
{{quote|After 9/11, The New York Times took to publishing profiles of people killed in the attack on the World Trade Center. These profiles were syndicated through the country, letting us on the details of the lives of the dead. Thus we learn that one of the dead was an "efficient executive" who "never forgot the attention to spit and polish, in his work or play. 'It doesn't shine itself', he'd replay when people admired his vintage car." We learn that another was "mad for Mantle", and "stubbornly stood by his Yankees, even when his two sons... turned out to be Mets fans". A third, we learn, was a top stockbroker, and a "prankster with a heart" who "would pull up next to you in his Porsche - a 911 - flip the bird, grin, and take off in the wind". A friend from New York said of the profiles, "I smell a Pulitzer".|Derrick Jensen reveals the 9/11 victims to be self-absorbed rich douchebags who ran the economic policies that are ruining your life. They deserved to die.}}
 
==Attack On American Soil==
Americans were outraged that terrorists attacked American soil by crashing United Airlines Flight 93 into a field Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

[[Irony| They (with the exception of liberals) became further butthurt when they discovered that the $57 million tribute to the soil attack was to be maple trees planted in the shape of an Islamic crescent.]]

President George Bush dealt with the 9/11 attacks by immediately capitulating to the terrorist's demands, which were that the US get out of the holy land (Saudi Arabia). Killing two birds with one stone, he ordered the troops to leave the holy land and to invade Iraq and bitch-slap CIA asset Saddam Hussein for threatening to denominate oil exports in euro.

==Exercise to save my own ass? Not my job!==

Instead of running down stairs, most Americans in the towers decided to call 9/11 and whine like babies.

<center>{{frame|<youtube>RLW0jKKRXMo</youtube>
<center>'''The U.S. 'Investigators' claimed that the stairs were broken.'''}}</center>
 
==Theories==
[[Image:Jewsdidwtc.gif|frame|[[Fact]].]]
[[Image:20bucks.jpg|thumb|100px|The Truth was in the [[profit|money]].]]

=== [[Loose Change]] ===
[[Jews did WTC]] is NOT a theory, it is [[timecube|SCIENTIFIC FACT YOU INSENSITIVE FUCKS]].

''[https://www.encyclopediadramatica.online/index.php?title=9/11&oldid=1997240249#Loose_Change LOL JUST GO 2 YOUTUBE AND TYPE 9/11 TRUTH, IT WILL TELL U EVERYTHING U NEED 2 KNOW]''

== Bush did 9/11 ==
 
[[File:Mission Accomplished.jpg|thumb|center|<center><big>'''Everybody knows who ''really'' pulled this off.</big></center>]]
 
=== Illuminati ===
Richard C. Hoagland proposes that [[Islam|Muslim League of Assassins]], '''{{archive|Kev0|}}''' '''{{archive|JNlUO|}}''' did WTC due to the Freemason back story with the Knights Templar, or those chain letters you get about how 9+1+1=11. Starter of all those people on JewTube spouting numerology.

Apparently, [[Obama|Osama]] crashed the towers because they represented Masonry, and therefore, Merikkka.

<blockquote>''If we could tie the actual architects of the WTC towers directly to Freemasonry, we would have strong support for this aspect of our theory. To this point however, we have not been able to do so. We do, however, have some fascinating circumstantial evidence.''</blockquote>
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>T9vUmA8OCsw</youtube>
<center>'''Have YOU cashed in on your Masonic membership yet?'''}}</center>
 
=== Fake Smoke Theory ===
Some [[Idiot|intelligent]] person (and his [[Sockpuppet|socks]]) believe that the whole thing was faked and that the towers are still there--you just cant see them. Did I mention he has PROOF!, screen shots of a poorly encoded video with some green rectangles photoshoped to highlight the areas of "fake smoke"... I could go on [[tl;dr|ad-nausium]] about this [[Basement Dweller |highly trained intelligence operative]] but I fear the CIA are watching me masturbate.

=== Comedy ===
Some claim that 9/11 was caused by a simple meeting of the minds of several funnymen around the Arab world. Osama bin Laden was but one of those comedians who decided to simply play a practical joke on America. This joke was manifested by the planes going through but the punchline was what lured the United States into two large wars that drained their penchant for [[rape]]. One can argue that 9/11 was done simply for the [[lulz]], but it was more elaborate than that. [[Al Qaeda]] (translated from Arabic as "[[lulz|to laugh]]"). TL;DR, 9/11 was done for the lulz intentionally as a form of comedic expression. As such, all [[terrorists|comedians]] must be released and allowed to perform their particular version of comedy in this free society.

==Alternate Theories==
 
{{cg||alttheoriesgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:mikuru-did-wtc.gif|[[Haruhi|Mikuru]]
Image:Prince911.gif|[[Fresh Prince]]
Image:Miley twerk 911.gif| you came in like a 911!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
Image:Shoop_Da_Whoop_WTC.gif|[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|SHOOP DA WOOP]]
Image:Allah.gif|[[Mario]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:wii911.gif|[[Nintendo]]
Image:Use the boost.jpg|[[Starfox]] did it.
Image:Deathstardidwtc.jpg|[[Star Wars|Death Star]]
Image:CeilingcatwatcheimgPWNED.jpeg|[[Ceiling Cat]]
Image:Jewcatorg.JPG|[[Zionistacat]] on behalf of the [[Jews]], of course.
Image:Hulkamania_Terror.jpg|[[Wrestling|Hulk Hogan]]
Image:Stone_Cold_Terror.jpg|[[WWE|Steve Austin]]
Image:WTC SumoJPEG.jpg|[[Obese|Sumo wrestlers]]
Image:K00lo.JPG|[[Republicans|Kool Aid Man]]
Image:Blackwhite.jpg|Nigras
Image:Whoyagonnacall911.jpg|[[Ghostbusters|Stay Puft Marshmallow Man]]
Image:Jack Sparrow.jpg|[[Jack Sparrow]]
Image:WTC-Rampage.JPG|[[Video_Game|Rampage]]
Image:Bush_Beams.JPG|lol, fucking Jews ^-^
Image:60footWomendid911.jpg|[[Feminists]]
Image:Trogdor_911.jpg|<s>Trogdor</s> Too many non-beefy arms jewface.
Image:Benoit91111.jpg|[[Chris Benoit|ROID RAGE]]
Image:Michael_phelps_did_wtc.jpg|[[Michael Phelps]]
Image:Joker911.gif|[[Why So Serious?|The Joker]]
Image:Hiroshima_bomb.jpg|[[irony|That fateful day as many Americans remember]].
Image:Sephiroth did WTC.jpg|[[Sephiroth]]
Image:Theendiscoming.jpg|[[Legend of Zelda|The Moon]]
Image:ItwasHIM.jpg|[[Flying Spaghetti Monster]]
Image:ICameInLikeATerrorist.png|[[Miley Cyrus|They said she couldn't rub her vagina on it and pretend it was a giant inflatable penis...]]
Image:CookieMonsterdid911.jpg| [[Sesame Street|Cookie Monster]]
File:SB Did WTC.jpeg|[[SpongeBob]]




</gallery>
|}}
 
==Gallery==
 
{{cg||911gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:9112001flash.gif|PARTY HARD
Image:911Record.jpg|Guinness openly encourage breaking the impressive achievement unlocked on 9/11
Image:WTC chart.jpg|LOL MATH
Image:WTC_Cake.jpg|A dramatic re-creation of the events that occurred on September 11th.
Image:In_Remembrance_COLOURED_by_raymangirl.jpg|This is an accurate portrayal of the WTC towers, which are now in Heaven.
Image:Dovesdidwtc.jpg|It was the birds!!!!!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:SwimMeat2.JPG|WTC according to [[gay|gheys]].
Image:Furry.gif|a stupid [[azn]] faggot and a pregnant [[furfag]] mourn for WTC. wtf?
Image:FURRYNEVARFORGET.jpg|GOD BLESS AMURRIKA
Image:9_11_4_Kidz.jpg|Now for kids!
Image:9-11 Jackass.jpg
Image:9111.jpg|Another reenactment
File:World Trade Center 7 Controlled Demolition.jpg
File:911 Coincidence Detector.jpg
File:911snapchat.jpg|Snapchat
File:911 Gay Furry Porn.png
Image:911poll.png|The results are in.
Image:AngryBirds911.jpg|Birds did WTC
Image:911 nothing of value.jpg
Image:911 Gameboy Game.jpg|Terrorist training program sent to all Al qaeda operatives.
Image:Jewsdidwtclol.png|Infographic on the socioeconomic impact of 9/11.
Image:Pedo9-11.jpg|dillic [[wigger]]?
Image:Spidermantradecentre.jpg|Not even Spiderman can save you
Image:Liberty-momg.jpg|OMG
Image:Mongo did wtc indeed.JPG|[[Mongo]] was in on it, just like all the other Wikipedo Jews.
Image:Omgwtfwtc.gif|A [[winrar]] is [[Bin Laden]]
Image:911toys.jpg
File:911 Jet Fuel Scale.jpg
File:Billfoster.jpg
Image:Wtc_0052.JPG|WTC IS A MAGET
File:911 Crash Bandislut.png
File:911 Wiki Vandal.png
Image:911awesome.jpg|[[awesome|awesome]]
Image:Proof.JPG|It's on drawball so it has to be true!
Image:Fat cat.jpg|Fat cat visits WTC
image:911rule34.jpg
File:9-11 falling man lulz.jpg
File:Undertale 911.jpg
File:POL 911.jpg
File:SSB 911.jpg
Image:Wtc_24_911.JPG|[[Jack Bauer]] didn't see it coming
Image:Wtc 005.jpg|Oh, exploitable
Image:Twintowerspwnd.jpg
image:Negrosdidwtc.JPG|Niggers doing bad [[shit]]
Image:youtubewtc.jpg|[[Some argue]] that the [[Illuminati]] did it. They are [[you are doing it wrong|wrong]]
Image:Kool_aid_oh_yeah.jpg|Kool-aid Man=Jewish=Fact
Image:911banner.jpg|As always, approach topics such as this with a high level of class.
Image:9-11 beavis and butthead.jpg|Beavis and Butthead remember.
Image:DEATH STAR DID WTC.jpg|[[Star Wars|DEATH STAR DID WTC]]
Image:Wtcgamecover.jpg|9/11: The Game - Now available for online play!
Image:Jew tales.jpg|Oh shi~
Image:Sovietwtc.jpg|[[In Soviet Russia...|IN SOVIET RUSSIA]], WTC DOES YOU!
Image:Reaction_guys_WTC.jpg|I can't believe it wasn't in here yet.
Image:Wtcpwnextra.JPG|You better believe it, cunt.
Image:Reaction_guys_falling_man.jpg|And one more for the road.
Image:911imagedecoll.jpg|More serious than the collapsing of the towers, of course, a JPG was destroyed on the same day.
File:6279.jpg
File:Hulkhogan91186f.jpg
File:911 Walmart Soda.jpg
File:Subwaydidwtc.jpg
File:Pentagon Evidence 2017.jpg|New evidence released in 2017 showcases the damage of the "plane" when it hit the Pentagon
File:911pr0n.png
File:Katamari 911.JPG
File:Mario Ackbar.gif
File:Rampage WTC.jpg
Image:Shoopdidwtc.jpg
Image:911-Asshat-Gathering.jpg|The aftermath of the 9/11 attacks.
Image:CokeGroundZero.jpg|It is most certainly the real thing
Image:911-Asshat-Gathering.jpg|The aftermath of the 9/11 attacks
Image:Sumo-911.jpg|Banzai!
Image:911-craigslist.JPG|Selling 9/11 on craigslist.. shameful.
Image:911 wise beard man.jpg|[[Wise Beard Man|Connection?]]
Image:Jacko911.JPG|[[Jacko]] did WTC.
Image:Alqaeda.gif
File:911goatse.gif
File:Dongs did wtc.jpg|[[Dongcopter]] did WTC.
File:Italian nine eleven.jpeg|[[Italy|Never Forghetti.]]
Image:Sept11.jpg|Informing the masses on [[InkLink]]
Image:Policequest2flight93.JPG|Police Quest 2 (1988) was obviously WAY ahead of it's time!
Image:Sept11newspaperextreme.jpg|[[Extreme Advertising|EXTREME!]]
Image:911_Barrel_Roll.jpg
Image:Charles Bishop plane.jpg|[[Charles Bishop|YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!!]]
Image:Roflbot-toosewn.jpg
Image:kawaiitwintowers.jpg|I wirr mish u oniichan....uguuuuu
Image:Korean apt complex.jpg|Koreans troll [[America|Americunts]].
Image:Cracker911resized8lj.gif
Image:9-11_-_24-7_Excuse.jpg
Image:Falling4u5su.jpg
Image:Nine eleven cosplay.jpg
File:Remember This.jpg
Image:WTC_cosplay.jpg
Image:Laden VS USA.jpg
File:666-666.gif
File:Bush flight 93 photo op.jpg
File:Valentinessm.jpg
File:Dimebagmemorial.jpg
File:FarleyWTC.jpg
Image:9eleven.jpg|Oh no, Thank Heaven for 9-Eleven
Image:11date.jpg|Lol Best date EVAR.
Image:Kingkong911.jpg|He was busy [[secks|sexing]] [[your mom]].
Image:911_kids.jpg|Now safe for children.
File:Buzzkill.911.jpg
File:IslamNotAllThatBad.jpg
File:World-trade-center.jpg|Actual picture taken {{CURRENTDAY}} {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Accounts of the perpetrators==
[[Image:willsmithWTC.jpg|thumb|right|[[Will Smith]] yesterday]] [[Image:Prince911.gif|frame|right|The moment the second tower collapsed]]

Now this is a story all about how

These towers got burned right to the ground

And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there

I'll tell you how I became the prince of a smoking crater

In west Afghanistan born and raised

In poverty is how I spent most of my days

Building an infrastructure with Russian funds

While the tribal system started to fill up with modern guns

When a couple of Yanks who were up to no good

Trained and funded Mujahs in my neighborhood

The Soviets left and Bin Laden got mad

And said "you're moving to America to commit Jihad"

I got a plane ticket and when I got on

I revealed that in my shoe I was hiding a bomb

If anything I was mad 'cause I was served pork

But I thought, "Naw, forget it - yo Holmes, to New York!"

I flew up to the towers 'bout half past ten

And the onlooking media said "Oh no, not this again"

I looked at my kingdom, all these virgins were there

To sit on my bone, with the smell of scorched hair

== The Nightmare Continues ==
[[Image:AthfBomb.jpg|thumb|One of the bombs cleverly disguised as a lite-brite.]]
 
{{quote|After several years of calm, the [[United States]] was yet again subjected to a harrowing, nightmarish vision of the apocalypse when dozens of little boxes with lights and pictures of terrifying alien creatures flipping the bird were placed in prominent locations in ten major U.S. cities in early [[2007]]. By late January, the boxes had existed without incident for several weeks, and thus the obvious dangers inherent in little boxes with lights on them would have probably gone unheeded for perhaps one or even two more weeks had not some brave resident of Boston noticed them, pronounced them "wicked scary," and notified his or her local Catholic priest and the [[Nazi|Department of Homeland Security]], which promptly shut down a portion of the city and brought in bomb squads to have them removed. Understandably, the governor of Massachusetts and spokespersons for several law enforcement departments were outraged, calling the incident a "hoax" unfit for "this post-9/11 world." Their reasoning, of course, was sound. It is a well-known fact among terrorism experts that 90 percent of all a-linear attacks on Western targets perpetrated by Islamic terrorists involve little boxes with lights on them depicting cult characters from hipster-friendly American late night television cartoons engaged in a purely Western hand gesture, and which are placed in prominent locations for several weeks without exploding.}} [[TL;DR| What an interesting chunk of]] [[Shit| Writing]]
 
== 4/28, Nevar Forget ==

On April 28th, 2009, the White House sent Air Force One flying by Lower Manhattan in order to get a pretty picture of the airplane sexing up the Statue of Liberty. Naturally, they didn't bother to tell anyone, assuming no one would notice a giant 747 heading straight for the Financial District in the middle of a weekday. With in minutes, hundreds of thousands of people were flooding out of their buildings, traffic came to a halt (not that it was moving anyway), the stock market crashed, and global finance stopped dead (not that it wasn't dead already).

When asked why they didn't warn New Yorkers beforehand, an FAA spokesmen said it was because [[fact|the information was "Classified"]]. Just like [[JEWS DID WTC|why they didn't bother to warn NYC about 9/11 despite alerts from the FBI and the Mossad.]]

When asked why they did it, the FAA spokesmen admitted it was "[[for the lulz]]".

== You're a terrorist ==
 
{{quote|You know, terrorists are just people who like to murder other people. What the fuck is the big problem? Seriously. What do they do that's so bad? They kill people. Well, so what? What's so great about people that they shouldn't be allowed to be murdered? So people die, yeah... fucking, I don't know them. So I honestly don't care. Some of them might have been assholes, you don't know.|Louis C.K.}}
 
[[Image:Raining men.jpg|thumb|9/11 art.]]
[[PROTIP]]: common defense used by anyone who disagrees with you is saying "9/11" and "Terrorist." Once these words are spoken you instantly lose and are supporting terrorism and will result in your house getting hit by 1000 Nukes for some epic lulz. Be sure to call them a [[Nazi]] to ensure an Epic Win.
Example:

: "Why are we going to war?"
: '''"Saying things like that support the terrorists."'''
: "[[O RLY|ORLY]][[Candlejack|"]]

Once you have let everyone know you're a [[terrorist]], all that's left is to blow some shit up. Follow these simple steps to ensure [[epic win]]:

#Get on plane
#[[Kill]] pilot
#Fly plane into tall building, Be sure at least 300 fat [[Americunts]] are inside the building to ensure some lulz
#Become [[an hero]]
#[[????]]
#[[Islam|VIRGINS!]]

== Clarification ==
Not to be confused with the very similar sounding [[7-11]]. While both of these number related names have a lot in common, namely the [[Palestine|Arabs]] and [[Indians]] involved in the plot to take over [[USA]]n ghettos, the effects of [[7-11]] are much more pervasive than 9/11

[[Image:WorldWildLifeFund9-11Ad.jpg|thumb|right|You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.]]
[[File:9-11 spectators 1.jpg|thumb|right|Some of the 6,000,000 Jews who skipped work that day]]
[[File:9-11 spectators 2.jpg|thumb|right|Some more of the 6,000,000 Jews who skipped work that day]]

==Actually, The Tsunami Was Worse==

[[At least 100|Exactly one hundred]] times worse, according to the advert for the [[PETA|WWF]] pictured right. It was designed for them by a Brazilian ad agency, and if we had a time machine, the first thing we'd do would be to go back to the precise moment when the jungle-spics unveiled their design to them just so we could record the looks on their faces.

Thankfully for the lulz, the image of a hundred planes [[zerg]] rushing Manhattan was leaked before they could [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|burn every last copy of it.]]

==Graded Score==

{{GradedScore|'''2,977'''|6,000+ injured|15|All targets hit except the fourth one.|20|Microsoft Flight Simulator 2001|20|Pissed off millions of Americunts, caused an entire invasion of [[Iraq|certain Middle Eastern countries]], [[Islamophobia]], along with countless [[conspiracy theory|conspiracy theories]]|20|Worst terrorist attack in human history|3,052|S+++|America had it coming one way or another}}

{{Wanted|6}}

==Videos==
<big>'''Tribute'''</big> 
Many [[people]] have tributed 9/11 with [[goatse|websites]], [[death|epitaphs]] and other such [[longcat|useless things]] which definitely amount to the equivalent value of a nigger. However, the best of these is the Ecuadorian singer, Delfin Hasta El Fin, which translates to, seriously, 'Dolphin Till The End'. I'm not even going TRY making fun of THAT. Although it shows you many things about his [[faggot|sexual identity]]. His music video, 'Twin Towers', is a wonderful insight into how the South Americans (wait, what?) view the tragic events that occurred on 9/11. We cry, but for many different reasons.

{{center|
{{frame|
{{videoframe|lopvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>DM-0ZXQnjHs</youtube>
;Koran burning - A new 9-11 tradition.
|<youtube>h9yvb03R2qs</youtube>
;South America sings for America.
|<youtube>CdI7w5qQUS0</youtube>
;Some bitch crying about woodland creatures/his only friends.
|<youtube>Jm-WoGwRmUw</youtube>
;A thinly-veiled fictionalization, but where the hell are the Jews?
|<youtube>nOtKEthrIL8</youtube>
;A YTP collaboration by Dew and LeSuperKoffee.
|<youtube>FaidaE1ZxrI</youtube>
;6
|<youtube>g_cfCJ-DKb8</youtube>
;7}}
|}}
}}

 

==Lulzy and epic foreshadowing of this shitstorm==
In the 90s, the wtc was bombed FOR THE MEMES AND LULZ DUDE! This was an epic foreshadowing of the lulzy event that would happen in the current millenium, the event was an epic way for a then new millenium to go out with a bang.

==See also==
*[[Conspiracy Theory|"Redesign" of World Trade Center]]
*[[:wiktionary:Untalented|1]] [[Poland|2]] [[Old people|3]] [[:wiktionary:Bizarre|4]] (meaning above [and still anyone has noticed..., [[Oh exploitable]]...])
*Original World Trade Center (meaning [[Smart|1]])
*[[Terrorism]]
*[[We're Not Afraid]]
*[[Cordoba House]]
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Rudy Giuliani]]
*[[Jews did WTC]]
*[[Australia]]
*[[Cory Lidle]]
*[[lolterrorism]]
*[[11/9]]
*[[Osama Bin Laden]]
*[[AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!]]
*[[Too soon]]
*[[ED does 9/11]]
*[[August 6 & 9 1945]]

==External Links==
[[File:9-11 lie.gif|right|230px]]
*'''{{archive|wBqjq|EDF's 9/11 anniversary thread}}'''
*'''{{archive|1BhZE|Fappin material.}}'''
*[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1580414/Marion-Cotillards-911-conspiracy-theory.html Marion Cotillard says it is better that the towers were destroyed, so that we don't have to spend money to modernize them.]
*'''{{archive|hUJni|THIS IS WHAT HAPPENZ TO YOU OF YOU POST 9/11 TRUTH ON A FUCKING FORUM!!!}}'''
*[https://z0r.de/570 TIME FOR HAPPY DAYS!]
*'''{{archive|eYYqk|Comic released about an hour after the second plane hit.}}'''
*[https://www.theonion.com/ho-ho-ho-9-11-was-an-inside-job-1819584800 Even Santa knows it's true]
*[http://swfchan.com/1/2956/?freefalling.swf Proof it was an inside job lol]
*[http://71.19.146.161/ A fun game]
 
{{anheroes}}
{{High Scores}}
{{terrorists}}
{{islam}}
{{lulzhistory}}
{{truth}}
 
{{Timeline|Featured article September 11, [[2005]]|[[New York City]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Arkady]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 11, [[2007]]|[[Vanessa Hudgens]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Chris Crocker]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 10 & September 11, [[2011]]|[[Shinryaku! Ika Musume]]|{{PAGENAME}} and [[Osama bin Laden]] Double feature! |}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 10 & September 11, [[2021]]|[[United Kingdom]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Poland]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 10 & September 11, [[2023]]|[[Barack Obama]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[JEWS DID WTC]]}}
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

File:Healthcare protest.jpg

2024-10-24T20:59:20Z

Firatpen: Image Restoration

== Summary ==
Image Restoration

File:Basil al-Assad.jpg

2024-10-24T20:53:12Z

Firatpen: With pics, the motive for murder becomes obvious. Basel or Bashar the No-chinned dork?

== Summary ==
With pics, the motive for murder becomes obvious. Basel or Bashar the No-chinned dork?