Encyclopedia Dramatica - Things to revert [en]

Basement-dweller

2026-03-28T15:27:07Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Gallery */ I'll play nice.

[[Image:BasementDwellerOutside.gif|center|]]

[[Image:Basementdweller.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Basement dweller (identity concealed to prevent [[ugly]]).]]
[[Image:Mew2King.jpg|thumb|A basement-dweller's reaction to the outside world.]]
[[Image:Mcfattybasementdweller.jpg|thumb|200px|A basement dweller in action.]]
[[Image:Robbie.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Another basement dweller]]
[[Image:Neckbeard porn.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Shocking developments]]
[[File:Riggy face.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Broadcasting live from mommy's basement.]]
A commonly-used phrase that describes the socially inept: [[Atheism|Atheists]], [[Love Shy|love shys]], [[loser|losers]], [[Fanboys]], [[cosplay | cosplayers]], [[nerd]]s, [[slashfic]] authors, [[gamers]], [[weeaboos]], [[libertarianism|libertarians]], [[anarchists]], [[Social Justice|SJWs]], [[tumblr|tumblr users]], [[furfags]], [[Brony|bronies]], [[btard|/b/tards]], [[Star Trek|trekkies,]] [[World of Warcraft | WoW players]], [[League of Legends]] players, [[Homestuck]] readers, [[EDiot|Ediots]], [[Wikipedia]] editors, [[TV Tropes|Tropers]], [[Something Awful|Goons]], [[You|you]], and most of all [[trolls]]. In other words, people who know that the light of day will expose them for [[You|the freaks they are]]; Thus,[[you|they]] go on ED or [[you|they]] dwell in their [[parents]]' basement, [[fap]]ping while being ever so [[Politically incorrect|POLITICALLY INCORRECT :coolface:]] on the internet and live off [[pocky]] and [[KFC]].

==Habitats==

Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a [[basement]], this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the faculties necessary to become a [[W|contributing member of society]]. This includes being a [[McDonalds|twenty-year-old unemployed]] [[college]] dropout whose mother pays your rent (however, some basement dwellers will go to college and get a degree, only to return to their parents' house and fap like there is no tomorrow [see "A Confederacy of Dunces"]). Some "basement dwellers" still live in their parent's normal house as they did when they grew up, particularly if the house doesn't have a basement as is often the case in [[Europe]] and Texas because texans don't believe in basements -- they are unholy. Others still live in their [[Chris-chan|parent's bedroom]].

Excluded from the title basement-dweller are people who live with their parents for legitimate reasons. One must remember there is a difference between [[Incest|"living with mommy"]], and [[Jew|"living off mommy"]]. Some examples of this include:

* [[Fap]]ping at home between semesters of college
* No point in moving out if your college is a block away.
* Living at home because of financial problems (guess McDonald's doesn't pay as much as they used to)
* Living at home to assist in the [[Lemonparty|care of one's own elderly parents]].
* [[Furry|A very small minority of people who have or had a very serious and prolonged illness]]
* Being a member of an Italian or Chinese family.

Typical basement-dwellers are needlessly burdensome on their parents and/or government. Most of their time is taken up [[masturbating]] to [[furry art|furry porn]] and [[online sex games]], going to [[con|nerdish conventions]], eating cheese doodles, and playing [[D&D]]. In addition, as [[completist]]s, they spend an inordinate amount of time on the [[Internets]], using [[IRC]], [[LiveJournal]], partaking in [[Bandwidth_envy]], and arguing vehemently over their particular branch of [[fandom]]. And yes, you will still be a basement-dweller, even after you've finished building your new [[shit nobody cares about|"v0.1 2X Overdrive dual-ballast dual-T8-tube 128W 6,500k daylight fluorescent light]]." If you are an [[engineer]] or geologist, [[Vietnam|dig secret tunnel networks]] (or just [[series of tubes|a pressurized capsule network to transport M:tG cards]]) while making secret entrances to find D&D bong sessions and [[plastic crap]].

'''How can I tell if an otherwise typical lolcow is a basement-dweller?'''
:There's a drop ceiling in their hideous webcam stills, and there's no way that said ceiling is in their "office," as they will claim. Wood paneling is also a dead giveaway.

Don't be fooled by the presence of a microwave, as the suspect's mother's kitchen can be used to throw people off the scent, but concentrate on the distinctive pallor of the individual's complexion which reveals their subterranean habitat.

===A prime example of [[faggot|basement-dweller]]s and/or [[weeaboo]] [[cock|dick]]s:===
<center>
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|<center><youtube>k-uTnqYHZ-I</youtube></center>|<center><big>'''THE Basement Dweller'''</big> <youtube>N6ikfeChS6E</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Contemplates Breasts'''</big> <youtube>NqvR_qMToHo</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Explains Term from Basement Dwellers' Point-of-view'''</big> <youtube>HxLtCc0CAE0</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Enjoying Magic the Gathering'''</big> <youtube>oCagrNkBjTI</youtube> </center>}}</center>

==Basement-Dwellers & [[Trolls]]==

[[File:Neet.jpg|center]]

No - not [[trolls|internet wankers]] like [[4Chan]], but the mythical creatures from Scandinavia. Symptoms include:

*Suffering from greasy skin and warts caused by a lack of washing and living off junk food brought down by their moms every 30 minutes, because they are literally unable to move from the front of their computers.
*Poor eyesight caused by the endless glare of the computer screens or because they are [[asians]].
*Rotting teeth caused by grinding them [[fap|while thinking about sex]], or caused by their soda, sugar and refrigerated food diet.
*[http://www.triplestarnews.com/images/the_memo/bonedog/tech_soul/bad_technology.html Poor social life] brought on by virtually no IRL interaction (mom bringing you down cookies - and some more boxes of [[fap|tissues]] - doesn't count).
*A serious weight problem - they are either [[fat|grossly bloated]] or [[pro-ana|hideously skinny]]. The ones with [[neckbeard|neckbeards]] are funnier, particularly when coupled with moobs.
*A rotten, diseased workspace swarmed with a massive collection of day-old used dishes, empty soda cans, and [[plastic crap]], accumulated as a result of pure fucking laziness.

Of course the majority of basement-dwellers are actually [[trolls]], and vice-versa.

==[[weeaboo|Hikikomori]]==

[[weeaboo|引きっこもり. Japanese basement-dweller.]] Only difference being most japanese live in apartments, which do not have a basement. Even Japanese houses don't have basements, apparently prohibited by law. "Parasite single" is a term for those who live off their parents. The Britfag term "NEET" is also used.

{{squote|Hikikkomori live a nocturnal life, in a deep depressive state, far from social responsibilities (school, work, family) and activities. Even sexuality is often virtually lived and connected to a sexy manga heroine.|Francesco Jodice|describing the subject of his [http://www.francescojodice.com/video/hikikomori_eng.mov film]}}

[[shit nobody cares about|Interestingly enough]], Hikikomori seem to feel that [[BAW|they've got it worse]] than their western counterparts. A Japanese basement-dweller will often explain that [[Japanese]] culture is so simultaneously repressive and demanding that they've never properly adapted to it, causing them to wet themselves if they venture out into the public[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gIx6hZweHc]. Unlike their western counterparts, it is estimated that more than half of all Hikikkomori abuse/ beat their parents, which makes them far more [[An Hero|cooler]] while remaining anti-social losers. Male Hikikkomori may also explain that they feel they lack social role models because their fathers are entirely pussy-whipped. The large percentage of western basement-dwellers who have to import their [[Pocky]] and download their [[shota]] likely beg to differ. Hikikomori often go on [[2ch]], for which there is even a hikky board. It's against the rules on that board to tell the hikkys to go kill themselves. The cowardly hikkys who go on 2ch often whine and complain about their [[otaku|escapist culture]] being repressed, while [[hypocrite|establishing that they are no different from the other japs]] by blaming everything on the [[Koreans]]. Hikkys leech money off their parents to buy anime and manga paraphernalia so they can cum and drool all over it. You'd think that if they hated Japanese mainstream society so much they would band together in protest IRL (because no Jap can defy the urge to conform to a large group of people) or even use some of that money to buy a megaphone and shout out the window. (they wouldn't even have to leave their rooms) Instead, they go on 2ch and [[BAWWW]] about it like little babies.

''[[Rozen Maiden]]'' has a Hikikomori as a main character. Much like ''[[Shit|Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' before it, having a loser protagonist they could identify with meant that American [[Weeaboo|weeaboos]] latched onto the show like parasitic lamprey, only this time the "sexy manga heroines" and cartoon lust objects weren't [[Neon Genesis Evangelion|overstacked expressionless doll-like girls]], but [[Desu|ACTUAL DOLLS]].

[[Zombie#Max_Brooks|Max Brooks]]' ''[[Faggotry|World War Z]]'' features an hikikomori who becomes an famous [[Crap|hero]] after the [[Zombie Apocalypse]], eh slicing off zombie heads and not afraiding anyone with the help of an [[Lemon party|old]], blind, [[Marijuana#Cannabis|gardener]]. The idea that an hikikomori could ever do anything useful for anyone is the least believable element of [[Shit nobody cares about|the previous sentence]].

For a lighthearted and accurate look at the life of a Hikikkokomori, see the delightful shareware game, [[Yume Nikki]]. In it, a young girl overcomes her deepest fears and becomes [[an hero]] to Hikikkomori and [[Weeaboo]] all over the world. There's also the anime "Welcome to the NHK" which is mostly noteworthy because it doesn't involve power levels and robots for once, the protagonist is a lunatic and, most importantly, unlike [[you]] he wants to change his life and not remain an inept loser by doing something.

==Cellar-dweller==

A '''cellar-dweller''' is not to be confused with a '''basement-dweller'''. Although a person can be both, they might also be one but not the other. Some people are neither, but this article is not about them.

A cellar-dweller might claim to live on the main floor of a house in that they occasionally sleep there, eat there or fetch food from the main floor. The cellar-dweller might even ''own'' the house. However, cellar-dwellers remain in their cellar or basement most of the time because they have chosen to abandon the outside world for the inside world of fantasy tabletop battlegames, similar online or computer games, or some other extremely time-consuming hobby like counterfeiting, manufacturing drugs or [[Josef Fritzl|raping the shit out of your secret prisoner]].

Cellar-dwellers all over the world rejoiced in 1998 when death punk band [http://www.anotherstateofmind.net/antiworld%20home.htm Antiworld] wrote a song just for them, entitled 'Cellar Dweller.'

==Music==

<center><youtube>Tt1qHYU6cYE</youtube></center>
<center>The Basement Dwellers Anthem</center>

It is well known that #1 music for basement dwellers is by far [[Dimmu Borgir|black metal]], however they also listen to [[rock]], [[pop]], [[techno]], [[raver|rave]], [[rap]], [[boring|video game music]] and sometimes [[emo]].

*[[rock|Celldweller]]
*[[System of a Down]]
*[[Fall Out Boy]]
*[[Eminem]]
*[[ICP]]
*[[Linkin Park]]
*[[Limp Bizkit]]
*[[Guns 'N' Roses]]
*[[Metallica]]
*[[Slipknot]]
*[[Evanescence]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[My Chemical Romance]]
*[[Fat Larry's Band‎]]
*[[Final Fantasy VII]] OST
*[[Rozen Maiden]] '''OST'''

==Gallery==
 
{{cg|Gallery|basement|center|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:Phelps-Basement-Room.jpg|Alternate basement setup
Image:Gamer.png|[[Typical]] [[gay|basement-dweller]] looking at [[porn]].
Image:Invasionscreambasement.jpg|A Dweller's worst fear: being discovered outside by the pod people!
Image:Basement de luxe 1.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:Basement_dweller_OHGOD.jpg|Basement dweller AND a [[pedophile]]!
Image:Basement_dweller_trollcat.jpg|Some [[Caveatipse|basement dwellers]] are in their late thirties.
Image:Basement de luxe 2.jpg
Image:Move out graduate.jpg|Congratulations graduate! Now [[GTFO]]!
image:weeaboobase.jpg|A weeaboo [[loli|pedophile]] in his pathetic basement.
Image:Wall a la Taco Bell by FroogleDoop.jpg|Basement dwellers eat at [[Taco Bell]].
Image:WOLFALICIOUSBITCH.jpg|Wignedwolf, basement dwelling furry magickian.
Image:Tatas.jpg|[[IRL|Out]] of his habitat.
Image:Fatasgr.jpg|The side effects of not going out.
Image:NGADDICT3.jpg|Typical Russian zadrot.
Image:Basement de luxe 3.jpg
Image:Timecards.jpg|Sustenance of a basement dweller: ''[[EverQuest]]'' time cards.
File:Cuntdestroyers.png|Two fine specimens.
Image:Azn mans pasttime.jpg|How [[azn]] basement dwellers spend their time.
Image:We Need To Talk.jpg|Should you inadvertently discover such a setup in a friend's house, get them [[Psychologist|professional help]] immediately.
Image:Basement de luxe 4.jpg
File:NEET Leech.png
Image:1242088178691.jpg|This is what happens when they leave their basement.
Image:Typical Singaporean.jpg|Basement dweller on [[Facebook|Failbook]]
Image:Lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous.jpg|Note the dumpster furniture.
Image:Typical-Basement-Dweller.jpg.jpg|Your typical basement dweller, note the blank soulless look in its eyes.
File:Afinespecimen.png
File:Basement de luxe 5.jpg
File:Neckbeard Dick.jpg
File:Neckbeard Vs SWAT.jpg
</gallery>|0}}

==See Also==
* [[Alligator]]
* [[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]]
* [[furfag|Chickenhed61]]
* [[Chris-chan]]
* [[Collectoons]]
*[[Vonhelton]]
* [[Darkfalz]]
* [[Degen]]
* [[Demcad]]
*[[User:Equivamp|Equivamp]]
*[[Erik "Tazman" Mokracek]]
* [[fakesagan]] - TheAmazingAtheist's other favorite fuckbuddy
* [[Fandom]]
* [[Faust & Kikyo Maaka]]
* [[GalladeXD]]
* [[ginger]]
* [[Glasses Teenager]]
* [[goodgirl_666]]
* [[Ground floor]]
* [[furfag|gsgbsgvcsrgr]]
* [[Gsnfag]]
* [[Halo]]
* [[HelenBaby]] - An Epic Failure even at basement dwelling
* [[Internet points]]
* [[retard|INfinity]]
* [[Jamie Baillie]]
* [[Jared Aycock]]
* [[John Skelton]]
* [[Josef Fritzl]]
* [[Joshua Goldberg]]
* [[Kimmo Alm]]
* [[King Of The Nerds]]
* [[LAN Party]]
* [[Love Shy]]
* [[MapleStory]]
* [[Matthew Nicholson]]
* [[Marjan Siklic]]
* [[Meta527II]]
* [[My Little Pony]]
* [[TheMysteriousMrEnter]]
* [[03bgood]]
* [[Pantaloons]]
* [[Raukue]]
* [[Runescape]]
* [[shortman]]
* [[Sick fuck]]
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
* [[Sonmanic]]
* [[Spax3]]
* [[Spending too long on the internet]]
* [[Trey Eric Sesler]]
* [[Tom Galloway]]
* [[furfag|TuffNuts]]
* [[Fallout 3|Vault Dweller]]
* [[VenomFangX]] - The AmazingAtheist's favorite fuckbuddy
* [[Yoshi-lord]]
* [[You]]
* [[World of Warcraft]]
* [[UltimateUKFFFan]]
* [[XOMizzEggManOx]]
* [[Zane1193]]

==External links==
* [http://tryvindale.com/VsrT2sIW Need some money to renovate your basement? Click here!]
* [http://shutinnetwork.com/ The Shut-In Network, where basement dwellers dwell]
{{life}}

[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Satanism]]

Russell Greer

2026-03-04T14:40:20Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* External Links */

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Taylor Swift===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor18.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

{{cg|Never give up!|doubledown|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_4.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_6.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_8.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_9.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_12.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
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|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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===Kiwi Farms ===
Coming soon...

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
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|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cars parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:11 - Always Tay.jpg|Russell blames Barnard's suicide on Taylor Swift.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:12 - Why she did it.jpg|Barnard's friends try to figure out the connection.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Then they try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:13 - Bailee's BFF.jpg|Her best friend intervenes.
Image:14 - Stahp Mckena.jpg|He tells her best friend she is wrong.
Image:15 - Russell's Fault.jpg|Russell is shown logic.
Image:16 - Bad Mckena.jpg|Russell honors Barnard's memory by attacking her best friend.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 2.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 3.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 4.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 6.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 7.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 8.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 9.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 10.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 11.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 12.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 13.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 14.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 15.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 16.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 17.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 18.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_3.jpg
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Image:Russell_Greer-General_2.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddituser|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddituser|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddituser|Obvious-Invite-3300|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{reddituser|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's third known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

File:SuzieWoozie.jpg

2026-01-11T02:02:40Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

Cougar

2026-01-11T01:33:11Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Gallery */ Found one in the wild!

[[Image:Granny_Daisy_Dukes.jpeg|right|thumb|A typical cougar, on the prowl.]]
[[Image:Cougar_crossing.jpg|thumb|Beware!]]
[[Image:coug.png|thumb|The most viewed cougar on the internet, whith her prey]]
[[Image:Lady J cougar poster.jpg|thumb|right|Cougars are always on the prowl, no matter where they are.]]
[[Image:Pack_of_cougars.jpg|thumb|A whole pack of boner-killing cougars]]
A Cougar is a Jew term attempting to glorify an old skank who sexually [[raep|pursues]] younger [[men]]. Instead of knitting itchy-scratchy sweaters for her grandchildren, the cougar contrives to get a young male stud to stick his penis into her dried-up pussy. Real cougars (meowing type) are shame-faced that their name is attached to these denizens of [[nursing home]]s.

==Typical Ruses Cougars Use to Trap a Guy==

The old, "I've fallen and can't get up" trick. Stud muffin arrives in an ambulance with an oxygen pack.

<center><youtube>bQlpDiXPZHQ</youtube></center>

Cougars can be overt, even on national television, as in the case of Meredith Viera, a horny game show host, who goes from merely flirting to being openly wanton.

<center><youtube>Zy_f1KOUlpA</youtube></center>

Show the purse trick. Cougar opens up a giant purse and shows stud muffin a wad of cash amongst the lipstick and extra Depends adult diapers and tampons.

"Come here my little pretty". Cougar uses index finger in a come-hither manner.

Some argue that Cougar's will use beer in a way that could be misconstrued as deceptive and manipulative. More research is needed.

==How To Spot A Cougar==
Besides the obvious signs, like adult diapers, liver spots, and tits that sag down to her knees, there are a few other tell-tale signs that can help [[you]] to spot a cougar. Despite their advanced age, the cougar frequently gives itself away by dressing like a [[16-year-old girls|16 year old girl]]. They also have the tendency to try to seem "young and hip" by pretending to like the same music as their victims, such as [[rap]], [[death metal]], [[j-rock]], [[emo]], etc. Modern slang is another device the cougar uses to try to disguise it's true age. Chances are, if it says "hella tight", but smells like "Preparation H", you've got yourself a cougar.

<center><youtube>HbEa5wEa1YU</youtube></center>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Cougar_Demi.jpg|A famous cougar.
Image:Cougar_City.jpg|Dewey Beach, Delaware - Cougar City
Image:Go cougars.jpg|[[Awesome Cougars|GO COUGARS!]]
Image:Not_a_cougar.jpg|Not a cougar, [[furry|but close.]]
Image:Cougarwarpaint.jpg|Cougars in full battle paint mode.
Image:SnowLeopardX.jpg|Quicker than a cougar, a snow leopard.
Image:Risker.jpg|[[AC|Arbitrators]] can also qualify.
Image:MECO8997.jpg|[[DOING IT WRONG]]
Image:SuzieWoozie.jpg|"youd be so lucky to ogle my ass ,Dream on Biden lover ."
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[MILF]]
*[[Fluffernutter]]

==External Links==
[[Image:Lol_cougardate.JPG|thumb|:3]]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/jestdesigns/4869816 Cougar-wear]
*[http://www.maxicougar.com/ Maxicougar.com]
*[http://www.cougardate.com/ CougarDate.com]
*[http://www.urbancougar.com/ UrbanCougar.com]
*[http://www.dateacougar.com/ DateACougar.com]
*[http://www.gocougar.com/ GoCougar.com]

{{stub}}
{{sex}}
[[Category: Epithets]]

[[Category: Sex]]
{{language}}

Russell Greer

2025-10-23T15:00:59Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Fixed templates at the bottom.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Taylor Swift===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
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|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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|}}
 

EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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|}}
 

This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
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|}}
 

Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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</gallery>
|}}
 

Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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|}}
 

As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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|}}
 

And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

{{cg|He really was convinced he was going to win...||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_2.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_4.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_5.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Kiwi Farms ===
Coming soon...

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cars parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:11 - Always Tay.jpg|Russell blames Barnard's suicide on Taylor Swift.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:12 - Why she did it.jpg|Barnard's friends try to figure out the connection.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Then they try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:13 - Bailee's BFF.jpg|Her best friend intervenes.
Image:14 - Stahp Mckena.jpg|He tells her best friend she is wrong.
Image:15 - Russell's Fault.jpg|Russell is shown logic.
Image:16 - Bad Mckena.jpg|Russell honors Barnard's memory by attacking her best friend.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
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Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddituser|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddituser|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddituser|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Bbb23

2025-06-21T14:12:32Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Milked.

{{Milkedcow}}
[[File:Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg|thumb|Any woman's wet dream. [[amirite|Right?]] ]]
{{aspie}}
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{{virgin |file=Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg |link=}}
{|style="{{gradlinear|white|#28D|to=bottom}}; border-radius:10px; width: 70%; color: #28D; color:#000000; border: 2px solid #28D;margin:0.5em auto; box-shadow: 0 0 5px #777; vertical-align:middle;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"
| style="height:90px; width:100px; font-size:16pt; vertical-align:middle;" | [[File:Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg|75px|link=]] 
| style="height:90px; width:700px; font-size:16pt; vertical-align:middle; padding-right:0.5em;" |
The subject of this article is a [[Internet tough guy|loudmouth on the internet]] but a pathetic loser in real life.
|}
</div>

'''Bbb23''' (pronounced ''bee-bee-bee-two-three'' or ''triple-B twenty-three'') is an [[incel]] and a former [[Wikipedia Admin Gallery|administrator of the English-language Wikipedia]] who craved the feeling of being above all else. He was known for his inability to accept criticism and for his insincere, self-righteous, hostile, and threatening behaviour towards anyone weaker than him while playing the friendly arse-kisser to anyone stronger than himself.<ref>[http://archive.today/2020.07.18-195144/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia_talk:Arbitration_Committee/Noticeboard&diff=968249256&oldid=968242295 Wikipedia talk:Arbitration Committee/Noticeboard: Difference between revisions - Wikipedia] ([https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia_talk:Arbitration_Committee/Noticeboard&diff=968249256&oldid=968242295 original URL])</ref>

He started editing Wikipedia in 2009 and became an administrator in July 2012 and a CheckUser in March 2015.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20211217105522/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Bbb23?dir=prev User contributions for Bbb23 - Wikipedia (earliest 50 edits)]</ref><ref>{{wayback|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/Bbb23|20220610174810|title=Requests for adminship/Bbb23}}</ref><ref name=CUOS2015>'''{{wikilink|Wikipedia:Arbitration_Committee/CheckUser_and_Oversight/2015_CUOS_appointments|Wikipedia:Arbitration Committee - CheckUser and Oversight - 2015 CUOS appointments}}'''</ref> A decade later, a church mouse who was unfairly blocked by him started a petition for a recall and immediately everyone came out of the woodwork and saw him desysopped by friends in record time.<ref name=Desysopped>'''{{wikilink|Wikipedia:Administrator_recall/Bbb23|Wikipedia:Administrator recall/Bbb23}}'''</ref>
{{clear}}

== Personality ==
[[File:How Bbb23 handles criticism - like Cola handles Mentos.png|thumb|Ever wondered how Bbb23 handles criticism?]]
Bbb23 is the textbook [[Internet tough guy]]. He enjoys playing god on a website to seek escape from his miserable [[virgin|sexless]] real life. Occasionally, a comment happens to trigger him hard, for example this one accurately calling him a sad little virgin.<ref>'''{{wptl|Ponyo/Archive_52#Curious|''What do you think the user meant by "sad little virgins"? It sounds nasty, but I can't make any sense out of it.'' - Bbb23}}''' '''{{archive|7odl2#Curious}}'''</ref>

=== On his talk page ===
Bbb23 has the strange habit of scrubbing criticism off his talk page, be it ever so mild criticism, even from his administrator colleagues. Occasionally, he even removes posts for not being praise.<ref>[http://archive.today/2020.04.05-115838/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=949059956&oldid=949059834 Bbb23 removes post by administrator colleague Doug Weller, even though it wasn't even criticism of him. (4 April 2020)] ([http://archive.today/2020.04.05-115838/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=949059956&oldid=949059834 archive])</ref><ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=949062794 Bbb23 removes criticism by administrator colleague Ritchie333] ([http://archive.today/2023.12.18-210317/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=949062794 archive]) - " ‘ArbCom has informed me that I am using my CU privileges in ways that violate policy.... I will not be responding to messages posted to my Talk page.’ There's your problem in a nutshell - '''you won't talk things through with people'''. </ref>

His administrator buddies have protected his talk page against edits from unregistered editors and new accounts in order to shield him from critisicm.<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log/protect?page=User_talk:Bbb23 Protection log - User talk:Bbb23 - Wikipedia]</ref>

Also, he and his arselickers reacted to Encyclopedia Dramatica!<ref>[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Bbb23/Archive_32#]</ref>

=== Hypocrisy ===
Before being an administrator, he complained about "incivility and aggression", saying "I find it ironic that many of these same editors happily display tags and comments about civility on their user pages. I guess they don't practice what they preach."<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20190702130200/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=376666130 User:Bbb23: Difference between revisions (1 August 2010) - Wayback Machine] (mirror: [http://archive.today/http://web.archive.org/web/20190702130200/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=376666130 archive.today])</ref>. Yet, ''after'' becoming an administrator, he became just that.

=== Thanklessness ===
In the ten years since the inception of the [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:Thanks "thanks" button], he has never used it. Not even once.<ref>[http://archive.today/2023.12.18-002456/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=thanks&user=Bbb23&page=&wpdate=&tagfilter=&subtype= Empty thanks log of Bbb23 as of December 18, 2023]</ref>

When a Greek Wikipedia editor warned the English Wikipedia administrators on their noticeboard that articles on Greek and Albanian history may be targeted by a vandalism campaign soon, rather than being appreciative of the warning, Bbb23 suggested that the editor who issued the warning should be blocked:

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
This is Popular Punk's first edit to en.wiki. WP:NOTHERE.--Bbb23 (talk) 17:10, 28 January 2024 (UTC)
</blockquote>

<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20240522075846/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive358#Potential_vandalism_of_articles_regarding_Greek_and_Albanian_history Wikipedia:Administrators'_noticeboard/Archive358 - Wikipedia § Potential vandalism of articles regarding Greek and Albanian history]</ref>

=== Powerhungriness ===
Bbb23 could not care less about the declared mission of Wikipedia, as signified by his poor treatment of productive editors, immediate blocking of users for mild criticism,<ref name=Aron_Manning>[http://web.archive.org/web/20230202152300/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Aron_Manning#For_the_record User talk:Aron Manning § For the record - Wikipedia (2019)]</ref> and deletion sprees of valid articles which were independently approved by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:New_pages_patrol new page patrollers].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20231218213428/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log/delete/User:Bbb23?offset=20190417&limit=500 Deletion log of Bbb23 (2019-04-17)] - see pages by HordeFTL</ref> To Bbb23, Wikipedia only is a tool for inflating his ego through excercising authority over ordinary editors, not providing free knowledge. Whether his destructive behaviour is permitted by policy or not, him behaving this way indicates he derives satisfaction from it. Otherwise he would not do it.

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
[…] As (s)he reverted the CU block, I do not intend to seek recourse for this issue, but I ask that a record of this incident be made in the form of a warning, listing the breach of ADMINACCT and TOOLMISUSE as a mistake: I still try to AGF, and want to believe this was not a personal attack. Thank you. —Aron M 18:42, 29 June 2019 (UTC)
* Talk page access has been revoked.--Bbb23 (talk) 18:54, 29 June 2019 (UTC)
</blockquote>
<ref name=Aron_Manning />

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
I fully accept the reasoning behind my ban, however I noticed literally all of my articles have been reverted including articles such as Looney Tunes Cartoons that had been largely built up by other users, others include articles including a lot of my geographical stubs were also in the process of being built up by others, I feel it is unfair that these articles have been wiped in one swoop, many of them including Hill County Courthouse are a huge loss as they are listed monuments in the United States, I wondered if we could revert the G5 and do a manual review of such articles so that the relevant ones can be saved and edited by others. StaniforthHistorian (talk) 15:50, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
</blockquote>
<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20220607222210/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AStaniforthHistorian&diff=prev&oldid=892592484#Deleted_Articles User talk:StaniforthHistorian - Wikipedia § Deleted Articles]</ref>

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
I've removed the section you posted below about your articles and G5. You have zero say in the application of G5 to your creations. Any more of this nonsense, and I'll revoke talk page access.--Bbb23 (talk) 15:52, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
</blockquote>
<ref name=StaniforthHistorian />

Articles he vengefully deleted were occasionally brought back by his administrator colleagues because they were too good to be deleted.<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log?page=Hill_County_Courthouse Hill County Courthouse] ([https://archive.ph/NfALy archive]) - deleted by Bbb23, brought back by BD2412 because "This seems like an entirely valid page."</ref> This shows Bbb23 has zero regard for the quality of an article. What actually matters to him is fullfilling his desire to excercise revenge against whoever dared to criticize him.<ref name=StaniforthHistorian>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:StaniforthHistorian User talk:StaniforthHistorian - Wikipedia] ([https://archive.ph/n2Pf7 archive])</ref>

He has a subpage proudly presenting a mass-deletion of eighty articles. As indicated by the blue links, almost all of them have been re-created. All those editors who re-created those articles could collectively have saved many hours of work if they could have started from existing articles. Instead, Bbb23 couldn't help but inflate his fragile ego by demolishing what others have built. Or perhaps this is his way of coping with his sexual frustration.<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23/d-batch User:Bbb23/d-batch - Wikipedia] ([http://archive.today/2022.11.11-232605/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23/d-batch archive])</ref>

Besides, Bbb23 is so bothered about trivial matters such as being called "dude" that he created an entire userbox about it. He also felt the need to tell us he had once been the victim of an unintentional block that was immediately lifted anyway. [[oh noes|Oh, noez!]] How is that in relation to his behaviour towards others?<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20221111223502/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23/Userbox/Not_Dude User:Bbb23/Userbox/Not_Dude] - '' "Bbb23 does not wish to be called Dude. Not now, not ever." ''</ref><ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20200322063113/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23 User:Bbb23 - Wikipedia (2020-03-22)]</ref>

In 2015, Bbb23 tried to become both a CheckUser and an oversighter, but '''{{wpul|NE_Ent|the Wikipedia editor "NE Ent"}}''' exposed that Bbb23 has no real need for the oversight tool. Bbb23 tried utterly hard to contain his anger.<ref name=CUOS2015 />

If Wikipedia stopped existing, Bbb23 would not be sad due to the lost knowledge, but sad due to his lost ability to exercise control.
{{clear}}

== Loss of CheckUser tool ==
Bbb23 thought of himself as an untouchable lord from the heavens. That lasted until his arrogance caught up on June 18th, 2020. On that day, he woke up to a permission error when trying to access his favourite page, ''Special:CheckUser''.

[[File:The ultimate nightmare of Bbb23 on June 18, 2020.png|thumb|center|800px|When Bbb23 saw this, he thought ''"Wait WHAT?! I am not a CheckUser?! Oh no… this can't possibly mean any good."'' - This is the ultimate nightmare of Bbb23. Oh, wait, it's not a nightmare. '''It's reality!''' ]]

He ran afoul of the Arbitration Committee for habitually abusing his CheckUser tool for cyberstalking.<ref>[http://archive.today/2020.07.16-205005/https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiInAction/comments/fvvo6o/privacy_invading_wikipedia_functionary_bbb23_rage/.compact Privacy invading Wikipedia functionary Bbb23 rage quits after long overdue mild rebuke from bosses] (/u/JackTheJiller, /r/WikiInAction - Reddit - April 6th, 2020)</ref> He [[butthurt|tried to drama quit]] Wikipedia to make them change their minds, but they didn’t, and his “retirement” only lasted few months before he came back to continue being a dickweed.

== He couldn't stay away from Wikipedia ==
Out of rage, he slapped the "[[wikicide|retired]]" template on his user page, even though its usage notes state "Do not use this template unless you plan to completely and permanently stop editing".<ref>Bbb23 retiring: [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=963959711 June 22, 2020] ([https://archive.ph/oSl1X archive]), unretiring: [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=1023186666 May 14, 2021] ([https://archive.ph/pU02E archive]). [https://xtools.wmcloud.org/ec/en.wikipedia.org/Bbb23 Editor statistics for Bbb23] ([https://archive.ph/FFExA archive 2023-12]) show he resumed editing in March 2021.</ref><ref>'''{{wikilink|Template:Retired|Template:Retired - Wikipedia}}'''</ref>

Whoops! Looks like he is too hopelessly addicted to Wikipedia to stay away from it, the only place where he can feel above others. A few months of his insufferable real life and he thought "[[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS|maybe retiring from Wikipedia wasn't such a good idea]]", and he couldn't help but be right back at Wikipedia.

In August 2020, the Wikimedia Office showed Bbb23 its fat middle finger (even fatter than [https://imgur.com/a/42VKmEZ angry Santa Claus' thick middle fingers]!) and told him he can never be CheckUser again.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210816164802/https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk%3AAccess_to_nonpublic_personal_data_policy%2FNoticeboard&oldid=20358059 Revocation of access to non-public information: Bbb23]</ref>

{{rainbowpyramid|HOW EMBARRASSING}}

When Bbb23 hears his favorite song, [https://soundcloud.com/jikay/dum-dee-dum-jikay-rework Dum Dee Dum], he gets excited and makes drunken dance movements to try to forget about his miserable and [[incel|girlfriendless]] life outside Wikipedia. All he does is delete things and threaten people, because that is the highlight of his miserable days, where he can feel above others for once and get a hit of dopamine. He considers any criticism of him "trolling". He blocked '''{{wikilink|Special:Contributions/142.136.131.97|this IP address}}''', and ''carefully reverted every minor and harmless change the IP user made''.

[[File:Bbb23AdminLog.jpg|thumb|HOLY SHIT, GO OUTSIDE AND GET A JOB!]]

Every evening, Bbb23 goes to bed sorely wishing he could hold a pretty woman in his arms. But every evening, he realizes it is nothing but a far-reaching pipe dream because he is far too ugly for any woman to even consider him (except for unfeminine hags who look like Annegret Krampf-Karrenbauer).
{{clear}}

== References ==
<references />

{{Wikipedia}}
{{Truth}}
{{timeline|Featured article December 19 - 20, [[2023]]|[[Sanctioned Suicide]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Completionist]]}}
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

Wikipedia Admin Gallery

2025-06-12T14:06:05Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Bbb23 has been desysopped.

[[Image:Wikipedia admins.jpg|thumb|The future of Wikipedia]]
: ''Remember, if they couldn't excercise their personal discretion, would they [[they do it for free|work for free]]?''

On the English-language Wikipedia, an '''administrator''' typically is a [[circumcised|man without foreskin]] who has the ability to block and unblock editors, to delete and undelete pages, to hide page revisions from public view, and to restrict the editability of specific pages.

Roll up, roll up - come see the '''basement cabal''', the biggest cabal of [[basement dwellers]] on all the planet, from bearded ladies to half men half gorillas. No, this isn’t [[Jimbo Wales|P.T. Barnum]]’s greatest show on earth; this is the [[Wikipedia]] admin roll call.

Other than being a cancer to the [[Wikimedia Foundation]], their sole purpose is to keep [[Jimbo Wales|Sir Jimbo]]'s [[penis]] smooth, shiny and erect. If you see them in the street then spit at them, spit at them for [[Why do you hate America?|hating freedom.]]

This list includes current and disgraced abusive Wikipedia admins. Disgraced admins have been moved to the bottom gallery.

{| cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" border="0" align="center" style="border: 1px solid black;"
|- style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: 14pt;"
| align="left"|Current TOW Admins
|-
|<gallery perrow="6">
File:FatAssPruittKang.jpg|{{wpul|Ser Amantio di Nicolao}} - creator of 1/3rd of Wikipedia's content
Image:WikipediaAdministratorAaronSchulz.jpg|{{wpul|Aaron_Schulz}}, formerly called "Voice of All" (also checkuser, and now a WMF employee)
Image:Adam_Bishop.jpg|{{wpul|Adam Bishop}}: "I don't think I can co-exist on a Wikipedia that has articles about individual Heidi Montag songs."
Image:Admrboltz.jpg|{{wpul|Admrboltz}} aka Russ Boltz, hopeless Star Trek nerd [http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/User:AmdrBoltz]
Image:wikipediaadminAGK.jpg|{{wpul|AGK}}, aka Anthony G. Kelly (not to be confused with [[Angry German Kid]]), arbitrator and general ass-cancer, checkuser
Image:AllieBird.jpg|[[Alison]] aka Alison Cassidy
Image:Angr.jpg|{{wpul|Angr}}, aka Antony Green
Image:WikipediaAdministratorAude.jpg|{{wpul|Aude}} aka "[http://www.flickr.com/photos/kmf164/ Kmf164]" aka "AudeVivere" aka [http://twitter.com/filbertkm Katie Filbert], [http://www.linkedin.com/in/filbertkm map nerd]
File:Brad Jorsch aka Anomie.jpg|{{wpul|Anomie}}, aka Brad Jorsch, WMF employee
File:Anthere.jpg|{{wpul|Anthere}} ([[Madame Wikiwiki]] lol)
Image:Arthur Rubin.jpg|{{wpul|Arthur Rubin}}
Image:Arwel Parry.jpg|{{wpul|Arwel Parry}}
Image:Atlant.jpg|{{wpul|Atlant}} aka [https://www.facebook.com/atlant.schmidt Atlant Schmidt][http://atlantschmidt.com/index.html/](almost inactive)
Image:AxelBoldt.jpg|{{wpul|AxelBoldt}} (one of the earliest admins, does very little today)
Image:Wikipediaadminaz1568.jpg|{{wpul|Az1568}}, also WMF employee.
File:WikipediaAdministratorBastique.jpg|{{wpul|Bastique}}, a co-conspirator of [[FT2#The_.22Anvil_email.22|The Anvil Email]]
Image:Bearian Wikipedia Administrator.jpg|{{wpul|Bearian}} aka Brian Logan ([[Wikipedia:Category:Rouge_admins|rouge admin lol]])
File:Bilby.jpg|{{wpul|Bilby}}, Adam Jenkins, misogynist cyber-stalker at [[WMF]] Australia[https://wikimedia.org.au/wiki/User:Bilby], [[MRA]][http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/lecturers-in-worldfirst-male-studies-course-at-university-of-south-australia-under-scrutiny/news-story/c9fd7d9e5c5745be7ef69203f94f1a5f], lecturer at Uni of SA[http://people.unisa.edu.au/adam.jenkins]. Wiki agendas: cover-up campus sexual assault , pushing pseudo-science in university.
File:Bogdangiusca.jpg|{{wpul|Bogdangiusca}}, from Romanian WP
File:Boing! said Zebedee.png|{{wpcl|Boing! said Zebedee}}
Image:Brian0918.jpg|{{wpul|Brian0918}} (nearly inactive since 2012)
File:Brion Vibber.jpg|{{wpul|Brion VIBBER}}, hot and sexy MediaWiki developer
File:Brooke Vibber.jpg|"Brooke" Vibber. Yeah, he trooned out.
File:Callaneccwikipediaadmin.jpg|{{wpul|Callanecc}} Arbcom clerk, or is he an arb now?
File:Wikipediaadministratorcarcharoth.jpg|{{wpul|Carcharoth}} (former arbitrator)
Image:CatherineMunro.jpg|{{wpul|CatherineMunro}}
Image:Charles Matthews.png|{{wpul|Charles Matthews}}, an [[Internet court|internet judge]] and all-around dork.
Image:Chetblong.png|Frog-faced <s>[[Wikipedia:User:Chet B Long|Chet B. Long]]</s> or {{wpul|Coffee}} from Arkansas. Had his admin powers [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive164#Steve_Crossin.2C_Chet_B_Long.2C_PeterSymonds.2C_and_inappropriate_account_sharing stripped] for abuse and for being 16. [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Amendment&oldid=300064220#Request_for_resysopping:_User:Coffee Begged, begged and begged] until he got his admin rights back at age 17.
Image:Highinbc2.jpg|{{wpul|Chillum}} aka HighInBC aka H aka etc etc, aka Ryan Bushby
Image:Codyfagfuck.jpg|{{wpul|Cody Logan}} - NVM WANNABE
File:Marc-Andre Pelletier.JPG|{{wpul|Coren}}, aka Marc-Andre Pelletier. Sysop, former arb, and [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:MPelletier_%28WMF%29 current WMF employee] (checkuser)
File:Bradley Brown.jpg|[[Courcelles]], aka Bradley Marshall Brown, sysop, arbitrator, checkuser, and current husband of [[Fluffernutter]]
File:Wikipedia_Administrator_Crisco_1492.jpg|{{wpul|Crisco_1492}}
Image:Cyde Weys.jpg|[[Cyde]] aka Ben McIlwain, blob
Image:Danielcase.jpg|{{wpul|Daniel Case}}
Image:Dan Geist.jpg|{{wpul|DCGeist}} aka Dan Geist
Image:David Gerard mugshot.jpg|{{wpul|David Gerard}}, gigantic asshole ([[Wikipedia:Category:Rouge_admins|rouge admin lol]])
Image:Aaron "Amanda" Passley.jpg|{{wpcl|DeltaQuad}}, aka Aaron Passley. A stinky crossdresser that likes to call himself "Amanda" ("A man d'oh"). He blocks others for "evading their block", but he evaded himself... from a psychiatric clinic.
Image:Wikipediaadmindennisbrown.jpg|{{wpul|Dennis Brown}} alternate account "Farmer Brown."
Image:450px-DerHexer.png|[[DerHexer]] also a bigshot on German Wikipedia and a former director of Wikimedia Germany.
File:Dan Garry Deskana.png|{{wpul|Deskana}} aka Dan Garry, Pokemon nerd, checkuser, former arbitrator
File:Wikipediaadmindgg.jpg|{{wpul|DGG}} aka David G. Goodman, arbitrator and ''fucking cranky old fart''
Image:Wikipediaadmindougweller.jpg|{{wpul|Dougweller}}, arbitrator and amateur archaeologist, [[Usenet]] PITA
Image:Dominic McDevitt-Parks.jpg|{{wpul|Dominic}} aka Dominic McDevitt-Parks, Jimbowhore extraordinare
Image:Drmies.jpg|{{wpul|Drmies}} aka Michel Aaij, college professor who SHOULD FUCKING KNOW BETTER. Threatens campus assault victims on Wikipedia.
Image:Earl Andrew.jpg|{{wpul|Earl Andrew}} aka Earl Washburn
Image:Eloquence.jpg|{{wpul|Eloquence}} aka [[Erik Möller]], the lowest of the low (LOL FIRED!)
File:Stuart turner euryalus.jpg|{{wpcl|Euryalus}}, aka Stuart Turner
Image:EVula.jpg|{{wpul|EVula}} aka Eric Ventress, master of the anus
Image:WikipediaAdministratorFloNight.jpg|Sydney {{wpul|FloNight}} Poore (former arbitrator/CU, almost inactive)
File:Fluffernutter.jpg|[[Fluffernutter]] aka scary fat lady Karen Ingraffea Brown. Now employed by [[WMF]].
Image:Fred Bauder.jpg|[[Fred Bauder]], disbarred attorney ha ha ha
File:FT2.jpg|[[FT2]] aka [[FT2|Paul Sinclair]], seeker of giant dogdick
Image:Futperf.jpg|{{wpul|Future Perfect at Sunrise}} aka Lukas Pietsch, a GODDAMN COLLEGE PROFESSOR who should know better
Image:Wikipediaadminfuzheado.jpg|{{wpul|Fuzheado}} Administrator, author, associate professor, kool-ade guzzler.
File:Robert Fernandez.jpg|{{wpul|Gamaliel}} aka Rob Fernandez, '''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Gamaliel_and_others#Gamaliel resigned from ArbCom in disgrace]''' after being exposed by [[Gamergate]], while retaining his sysop at Wikipedia, and his position at [[Wikimedia Foundation|Wikimedia DC]]. Now uses his Twitter to [https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiInAction/comments/4r0mkb/vindictive_and_petty_gamaliel_shamed_former/ harass] David Auerbach
Image:AdminGolbez.gif|{{wpul|Golbez}} aka Andy Leonard
File:Molly White.jpg|{{wpul|GorillaWarfare}}, aka Molly White, looking [[fappably]] lovely; dear friend of [[Ironholds]]
File:Thomas Fish aka Guerillero.jpg|{{wpul|Guerillero}} aka Thomas Fish, straightedge arbitrator pooter
File:Wyss2.jpg|{{wpul|Gwen Gale}} aka Heidi Wyss, batshit insane
Image:Harej.jpg|{{wpul|Harej}} aka {{wpul|Messedrocker}} aka James Hare (what a nice young man!)
Image:Heimstern Läufer.jpg|{{wpul|Heimstern}}, almost forgotten today
File:Harry "HJ" Mitchell.PNG|{{wpul|HJ Mitchell}}, failing right to the top
Image:Sociopath_Ian_Thomson.jpg|{{wpul|Ian.thomson}}, habitually disruptive, deceptive, flame-baiting; close ally of a few fellow sociopaths w. admin power, incl. Tim Hardcastle (Bbb23)
Image:InShaneee.gif|{{wpul|InShaneee}}, aptly named
File:Iridescent.jpg|{{wpcl|Iridescent}} aka Adrian Merritt
File:wikipediaadminjamesofur.jpg|{{wpul|Jamesofur}} aka James Alexander, incompetent WMF employee
Image:Jayjg.jpg|[[Jayjg]], [[Jew|JEW FROM HELL]]
Image:J.delanoy and Jimmy Wales.JPG|{{wpul|J.delanoy}} and Tiny King Jumbo
File:Jclemens.jpg|{{wpul|Jclemens}}, Jonathan Clemens, former member of ArbCom and disgrace to the cloth
Image:Jdforrester.JPG|[[Jdforrester|James Forrester]], admin and former arb, now a WMF bigshot
Image:Jehochman.png|[[Jehochman]], aka Jonathan Hochman, a SEO professional who uses Wikipedia to promote his clients
File:Jimmy Wales 2013.jpg|[[Jimbo Wales]] (suck it!)
File:James Heilman Dorkmeister.png|[[Doc James|Jmh649]] the MD from HELL
Image:WikipediaAdministratorJmabel.jpg|{{wpul|Jmabel}}
Image:WikipediaAdministratorJoeDecker.jpg|{{wpul|Joe_Decker}} (checkuser)
File:Johnleemk.jpg|{{wpul|Johnleemk}} "In real life I'm a 14-year-old computer nerd from Malaysia." (almost inactive as of 2015)
Image:Jossi.PNG|{{wpul|Jossi}} aka Jossi Fresco, promoter of Prem Rawat
Image:wikipediaadminjpgordon.jpg|{{wpul|Jpgordon}} aka Josh Gordon, powermonger and former arb
File:Julian_colton.jpg|{{wpul|Juliancolton}}
Image:JWSchmidt.gif|{{wpul|JWSchmidt}}
Image:Guy2-1-.gif|[[JzG]] made to be laughed at
File:WikipediaAdministratorKeegan.jpg|Keegan (also checkuser)
File:Keilanawikipediaadministrator.jpg|{{wpul|Keilana}}, also arbitrator, also on the WMF payroll as a "Wikipedian in Residence"
File:Kirilllokshin2014.jpg|{{wpul|Kirill Lokshin}} former arbitrator
File:Kinuwikipediaadmin.jpg|{{wpul|Kinu}} Kinu
Image:Krimpet.jpg|[[Krimpet]] (r u a boy or a gurl? Show us it)
Image:wikipediaadminkudpung.jpg|{{wpul|Kudpung}} aka Chris Carter-Smith, retired schoolteacher living in Thailand
Image:wikipediaadminladyofshalott.jpg|{{wpul|LadyofShalott}} nut robot from Scotland
Image:Lar.jpg|{{wpul|Lar}}, we love your monster butt Larry Pianiezek!
Image:wikipediaadminlfaraone.jpg|{{wpul|Lfaraone}} Luke Faraone (also arbitrator)
Image:Wikipediaadministratorliz.jpg|{{wpul|Liz}} Liz
Image:Mark.gif|{{wpul|Mark}}
File:Masem.gif|[[Masem]], a 43 year old [[Brony]]
Image:Matt Crypto.gif|{{wpul|Matt Crypto}}
File:WikipediaAdministratorMBisanz.jpg|MBisanz (also checkuser)
Image:Michael Snow.gif|{{wpul|Michael Snow}}, old Jimbopal and business partner
Image:Mindspillage.jpg|{{wpul|Mindspillage}}, aka Kat Walsh, who likes to be pinned to the wall by [[Ironholds]]
Image:Modemac2-1-.gif|{{wpul|Modemac}} aka Eric Walker, hates [[Scientology]], almost inactive
Image:Morwen.gif|{{wpul|Morwen}} aka Abigail Brady, aka Robert Brady (yes, another tranny)
File:MuZemike.jpg|[[MuZemike]] he will BAN your ASS
File:michaelfrank.jpg|{{wpul|Nihiltres}} aka Michael Frank, Canadian Wiki-troll supreme
File:WikipediaAdministratorNeelix.jpg|{{wpul|Neelix}} aka David Purdy, Salvation Army member (not kidding)
Image:FCYTravis.jpg| NorthBySouthBaranof, aka [[FCYTravis]] aka Polarscribe, aka Travis Mason-Bushman. Banned for corruption under his Polarscribe account, but created a new one and now ban-hammers ANYONE who calls him out for his ban evasion via the NBSB alias
Image:Nybrad92.jpg|{{wpul|Newyorkbrad}}, aka Ira Matetsky, the limpest small jew dick at ArbCom (former arb)
Image:Wikipediaadminohnoitsjamie.jpg|{{wpul|Ohnoitsjamie}}, w. Confederate flag tattoo "the South shall rise again!"
File:Wikipediaadministratorpakaran.jpg|{{wpul|Pakaran}} image from about 2003
File:Isaac Pockras.jpg|{{wpul|Nyttend}}, aka Isaac Pockras
Image:Pathoschild.jpg|{{wpul|Pathoschild}} aka Jesse Plamondon-Willard from Montreal, Canada, some kind of hobbyist and accoording to him SMAPI developer, according to his world
File:Philippe Beaudette crop.jpeg|Philippe Beaudette
Image:Raul654.jpg |{{wpul|Raul654}} better known as [[Mark Pellegrini|Mark "Monsterass" Pellegrini]]
Image:WikipediasRebecca.jpg|[[Rebecca]] (looneytoons!)
Image:Quadell.jpg|{{wpul|Quadell}}, aka Mike Waddell (almost inactive since 2014)
Image:Riana dzasta.jpg|[[Riana]], almost inactive
Image:Risker2.jpg|{{wpul|Risker}} aka Anne Clin (former arbitrator) (checkuser)
File:Rklawton.png|{{wpcl|Rklawton}}, sysop since 2007
Image:Royboy2-1-.gif|{{wpul|RoyBoy}}, pathetic Canadian nerd
Image:Ryan Delany.gif|{{wpul|Ryan Delaney}} aka {{wpul|Causa sui}}
Image:samwalton9.jpg|{{wpul|samwalton9}}, aka Sam Walton, an underage gamer who looks like Troy from ''The Final Sacrifice''
File:Sannse.jpg|[[Sannse]], aka Lisa Carter - does minimal WP work, works for [[Wikia]]
File:Wikipediaadminscott.gif|{{wpul|Scott}} Scott admiring his own latest hairdos, also Wikipediocracy moderator "Hex"
File:Scottywong.jpg|{{wpul|Scottywong}} aka Scott Wieser, dickweed extraordinare
Image:Wikipediaadminseraphimblade.jpg|{{wpul|Seraphimblade}} aka Todd Allen (also arbitrator)
Image:User ashibaka.jpg|[[Shii]] aka Avery Morrow, former 4chan admin
Image:Silsor1.jpg |[[Silsor]]
File:WikipediaAdminSilkTork.jpg|{{wpul|SilkTork}} aka Steven Pereira ([[ArbCom|arbitrator]]}
Image:wikipediaadminsirfozzie.jpg|{{wpul|SirFozzie}} aka David Yellope, former arbitrator
Image:AdminSj.gif|{{wpul|Sj}} aka Sam Klein, supreme buttlick
Image:Slimwhore.jpg|[[SlimVirgin]] (scariest lady on WP!! OMG an MI5 informant!!!)
Image:WikipediaAdministratorSwatjester.jpg|{{wpul|Swatjester}}
Image:Tawker.gif|{{wpul|Tawker}} aka Andrew Phillips, snotty teenaged boy from Ontario '''[http://web.archive.org/web/20061218030841/http://host.encyclopediadramatica.com/calls/tawker-cut.mp3 He Tawks!]'''
File:Wikipediaadminthryduulf.jpg|{{wpul|Thryduulf}} aka Chris McKenna, arbitrator and Wikimedia UK asslick
File:WikipediaAdministratorTimotheusCanens.jpg|{{wpul|Timotheus Canens}} former username "Tim Song" (former arbitrator) (also checkuser)
Image:Tim Shell.gif|{{wpul|TimShell}}, old Jimbo friend and Randroid
Image:Tim Starling.gif|{{wpul|Tim Starling}}, early MediaWiki developer, married to [[Angela]]
File:Tom Morris.jpg|{{wpul|Tom Morris}}, who [[Oliver Keyes/wikipedia-en-2011-11-24|waxes poetic]] about his Jimmy Wales Realdoll
File:Tiptoety aka Tyler van Wormer.jpg|The pedophile [[Tiptoety]] aka Tyler Van Wormer
Image:Tparis_halfass.jpg|{{wpul|TParis}} aka Andy Pearson
Image:Werdna.jpg|{{wpul|Werdna}} aka Andrew Garrett, now a WMF employee (lol FIRED)
Image:Woohookitty.jpg|{{wpul|Woohookitty}}
File:Wikipediaadminworm.jpg|{{wpul|Worm_That_Turned}} aka Dave Craven (former arbitrator)
Image:Yamla.jpg|[[Yamla]]
Image:WikipediaAdministratorYnhockey.jpg|{{wpul|Ynhockey}} aka Yan Nasonov, Wikimedia Israel bigshot, likes anime and hates Palestinians, as usual
Image:Moreau2-1-.gif|{{wpul|Zanimum}} aka Nick Moreau
Image:Zocky.gif|{{wpul|Zocky}} from Slovenian WP, almost inactive
</gallery>
|}

{| cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" border="0" align="center" style="border: 1px solid black;"
|- style="background-color: black; color: white; font-size: 14pt;"
| align="left"|Defuncted TOW Admins
|-
|<gallery perrow="6">
Image:Asbestos.gif|{{wpul|Asbestos}} (lol quit in 2011)
File:Tmalmjursson.jpg|{{wpul|BarkingFish}}, aka Iceflow, aka [[BarkingFish|Thor Malmjursson]] ([http://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=rights&user=&page=User%3ABarkingFish%40tpi*&year=&month=-1&tagfilter= Admin at '''tpi'''.wikipedia.org] whatever that is)(Lol [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Tmalmjursson FRIED!])
File:Bastique higher res.jpg|{{wpul|Bastique}}, aka Cary Bass (former WMF bigshot, lol quit in 2012)
File:Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg|{{wpul|Bbb23}}, asshole patroller, made checkuser in 2015, [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrator_recall/Bbb23 desysopped] in 2025
File:Brad Patrick.jpg|{{wpul|BradPatrick}}, former WMF Legal Counsel, now underwater lol
Image:Bcorr.jpg|{{wpul|Bcorr}} aka Brian Corr (quit in 2015)
File:BrokenSegue.jpg|{{wpul|BrokenSegue}} (left in 2014)
Image:Burgundavia.jpg|{{wpul|Burgundavia}} (left in 2012)
Image:Bedford_Crenshaw.JPG|{{wpul|Bedford}} aka Bedford Crenshaw (Desysopped by [[Jimbo]] for 'chauvinism', finally quit in 2014}
Image:Blankfaze.jpg|{{wpul|Blankfaze}}, left in 2011
File:Bwilkins.jpg|<s>{{wpul|Bwilkins}}</s> <s>{{wpul|EatsShootsAndLeaves}}</s> <s>{{wpul|DangerousPanda}}</s> '''[https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&type=rights&user=&page=User%3ADangerousPanda DESYSOPPED, LOL]'''
Image:Catbar.png|{{wpul|Catbar}} (lol quit in 2010)
Image:Chase me ladies, I'm the Cavalry.jpg|[[Richard Symonds]], aka HawkerTyphoon, aka {{wpcl|Chase me ladies, I'm the Cavalry}}, (former arb and checkuser) '''DESYSOPPED''' for abusing Wikipedia to libel members of the UK parliament, still retains his position at WMUK
File:Prioryman.png|<s>{{wpul|ChrisO~enwiki|ChrisO}}</s> aka Prioryman aka Chris Owen, lol desysopped
Image:Christopher Mahan.jpg|{{wpul|Christopher Mahan}} (lol quit in 2013)
Image:Cimon Avaro.jpg|{{wpul|Cimon Avaro}} (almost inactive since 2013)
Image:Cnwb.jpg|{{wpul|Cnwb}} (lol quit in 2010)
Image:Cool Hand Luke.jpg|{{wpul|Cool Hand Luke}} aka Frank Bednarz (lol quit in 2011)
Image:Dannyseesyou.jpg|{{wpul|Danny}} Wool, former WMF slave, left in 2014
Image:Davidcannon_c.png|{{wpul|Davidcannon}} (quit in 2014)
Image:Denni.jpg|{{wpul|Denni}} (lol quit in 2007)
File:Derrick Coetzee.jpg|<s>{{wpul|Dcoetzee}}</s>, aka Derrick Coetzee. Desysopped and globally banned from all WMF wikis for unstated reasons
Image:Drini 2.jpg|{{wpul|Drini}} (lol forced out in 2010)
Image:Durova3.jpg|<s>[[Durova]]</s> (lol resigned) (wrote and maintains her own ED article)
Image:Evil Monkey.jpg|{{wpul|Evil Monkey}} (lol quit in 2008)
File:Man in stress position.jpg|<s>Fae is a sexy beast, and was once head honcho at [[fuck|WMFUK]]</s> LOL DESYSOPPED!
Image:Fantasy.jpg|{{wpul|Fantasy}} (lol quit in 2012)
Image:Fir0002.jpg|{{wpul|Fir0002}} (lol quit in 2013)
Image:Fennec.jpg|{{wpul|Fennec}} (aka Tom Whaples, a GODDAMN FURRY, was on Arbcom, gave up in 2009)
Image:Func.png|{{wpul|Func}} (lol left in 2006)
Image:Gator1.jpg|{{wpul|Gator1}} (lol quit in 2013)
Image:Geogre.png|{{wpul|Geogre}} aka George Mosley, good content writer, forced out in 2009
File:Hahc21.jpg|<s>{{wpul|Hahc21}}</s> '''LOL RAGEQUIT''' in 2014 [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/IncidentArchive865#Hahc21]
File:Hephaestos.jpeg|{{wpul|Hephaestos}}, quit in 2007
Image:Improv.jpg|{{wpul|Improv}} aka Pat Gunn, quit in great disgust in 2007
File:Ironholds.jpg|<s>[[Ironholds]] with another of his IRC conquests.</s> LOL DESYSOPPED!
Image:Aranda2-1-.gif|<s>[[Jaranda|Jaranda / Secret]]</s> '''DESYSOPPED''' poor little aspie.....
File:Ryan Kaldari.jpg|<s>{{wpul|Kaldari}}</s> (WMF account {{wpul|Ryan Kaldari}}), desysopped for [http://www.dailydot.com/news/wikipedia-sockpuppet-ryan-kaldari/ extreme hypocrisy]
Image:Katefan0.gif|[[Katefan0]], gone since 2007 anyway
Image:Kellymanliness.gif|<s>[[Kelly Martin]]</s> - [http://web.archive.org/web/20070105012620/http://pr0n.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/8/88/Kelly_Martin.mp3 '''voice''']
File:Kevin Gorman.jpg|{{wpul|Kevin Gorman}} [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Kevin_Gorman#Kevin_Gorman_desysopped desysopped] in January 2016, died of a broken heart six months later. His [https://medium.com/@kevingorman/please-don-t-donate-to-the-wikimedia-foundation-5b42908a8798#.fb4h8zea9 dying wish] is that people stop donating to Wikipedia
File:kieferskunk.jpg|{{wpul|KieferSkunk}} aka [http://kieferskunk.livejournal.com/ Matt Kellner, another goddamn furry] (lol quit in 2014)
Image:Wikipediaadminkww.jpg|{{wpul|Kww}} aka Kevin Williams, incompetent and unemployed (and now [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Kww_and_The_Rambling_Man#Kww_desysopped desysopped])
Image:Lara.jpg|<s>[[LaraLove]]</s>, aka Indubitably, desysopped for being a good person
Image:Linuxbeak.jpg|[[Linuxbeak]], left in 2012
Image:Mo0.gif|{{wpul|Mo0}}, quit in 2010
Image:MONGO.jpg|<s>[[MONGO]]</s> LOL, desysopped screaming buttplug!
Image:Morven.jpg|{{wpul|Morven}} aka Matthew Brown, left in 2009, now [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Morven on TV Tropes]
Image:Musical Linguist.gif|{{wpul|Musical Linguist}} / ElinorD (gave up in 2008)
Image:600px-NicholasTurnbull.jpg|{{wpul|NicholasTurnbull}} aka {{wpul|Tristessa de St Ange}}, quit in 2014
Image:Waddaskank.jpg|[[Phaedriel]], left in 2007
Image:Ralph s.PNG|<s>[[PMDrive1061]]</s> aka [[Ralph Squillace]], the lulz are strong with this one, quit in 2013
Image:PZFUN.gif|{{wpul|PZFUN}} (quit in 2008)
Image:MeandHer.jpg|<s>[[Rodhullandemu]]</s>, massive lulz with this one! Forced out in 2011!
File:Michael Cohen.png|<s>[[Ryulong]]</s> '''DESYSOPPED AND B&D oh the lulz'''
Image:Jareth2-1-.gif|{{wpul|Shell Kinney}} aka "Jareth" aka Michelle Kinney, left WP in total disgust in 2011
Image:Jkelly.gif|{{wpul|Jkelly}} (left in 2009)
Image:Sceptre_piggy.jpg|<s>[[Sceptre]]</s> aka Will aka [[autogynephilia|Sarah]] Noble
File:Sheneequa IRL.jpg|<s>[[Sheneequa|Redwolf24]]</s> Deadminned for inactivity
Image:Rlevse.jpg|<s>{{wpul|Rlevse}} aka Randy Everette aka {{wpul|PumpkinSky}}</s> (DESYSOPPED and B&D in 2010 lol!)
Image:Snowspinner.jpg|<s>[[Snowspinner]]</s> aka Phil Sandifer (LOL RAGEQUIT)
File:Ta bu shi da yu.png|{{wpul|Ta bu shi da yu}} aka Chris Sherlock: Escaped the cult in 2010, got married(!), returned to the cult [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/Letsbefiends&dir=prev in 2012]. By 2016 the toxic culture prompted him to threaten suicide [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikimedia-l/2016-May/084230.html on a widely read mailing list], which made its way into [[VICE|the new Gawker]]. We at ED wish him well in his deprogramming.
Image:Wikipediaadmintbloemink.png|{{wpul|TBloemink}}, aka Tomas Bloemink, [[Former Bureaucratic Fucks|former steward]] and current [http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Requests_for_comment/Privacy_violation_by_TBloemink_and_JurgenNL sex pervert]. Stripped of all advanced permissions due to '''IRL STALKING''' MoiraMoira, a Dutch Wikipedian
Image:The Epopt.jpg|{{wpul|The Epopt}} aka Sean Barrett (lol gave up in 2009)
File:Jim Heathfield The Rambling Man.jpg|{{wpcl|The Rambling Man}} aka Jim Heathfield
Image:Thebainer.gif|{{wpul|Thebainer}} aka Stephen Bain (lol quit in 2011)
Image:Theresa knott.gif|{{wpul|Theresa Knott}}, scary as hell (lol quit in 2011)
Image:TOnySidawaydouche.jpg|<s>[[Tony Sidaway]]</s> Lulzmonster extremo! Desysopped by order of Arbcom!
Image:Will_Beback.jpg|<s>[[Will Beback]]</s> aka Will McWhinney Jr. (LOL DESYSOPPED AND B&D)
Image:Wikipediaadminwoggly.png|{{wpul|Woggly}} (lol left in 2010)
Image:Harden2-1-.gif|{{wpul|Zscout370}} aka Zach Harden, hopeless Aspie nut, resigned in 2013
</gallery>
|}

If you would like to find out more information about any of the above Wikipedia Admins please visit [http://www.sexualoffenders.com/archive.php?type=2 this website].

The Wikipedia Cabal should not be confused with the [[Usenet]] cabal. At least the Usenet cabal is competent.

==See also==

* [[Anonymous pussy]]
* [[Aspergers]]
* [[Bureaucratic Fuck]]
* [[Former Bureaucratic Fucks]]
* [[Basement-dweller|16-year-old boys]]
* [[Tranny]]

==References==
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Listusers&group=sysop&limit=5000 Official list of Wikipedia administrators]
*[http://www.wikitruth.info/index.php?title=Category:Wikipedians Wikitruth.info's articles on this topic]
*[http://www.webcitation.org/5nLJ9GO6D List of the Wikipedia hivemind] by [[Daniel Brandt]]

==External links==
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Images_of_Wikipedians http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Images_of_Wikipedians]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Vorash/Wikiusers_gallery http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Vorash/Wikiusers_gallery]
*[http://es.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Especial%3ARegistro&type=gblrights&user=&page=Usuario%3ADrini&year=&month=-1 Proof of cabal]
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Facebook_directory

{{Wikipedo}}
{{Trolls}}

[[Category:Galleries]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Wikis Suck]]

Bbb23

2025-06-12T14:04:39Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Desysopped.

[[File:Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg|thumb|Any woman's wet dream. [[amirite|Right?]] ]]
{{aspie}}
<div style="display:table-cell;">
{{virgin |file=Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg |link=}}
{|style="{{gradlinear|white|#28D|to=bottom}}; border-radius:10px; width: 70%; color: #28D; color:#000000; border: 2px solid #28D;margin:0.5em auto; box-shadow: 0 0 5px #777; vertical-align:middle;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"
| style="height:90px; width:100px; font-size:16pt; vertical-align:middle;" | [[File:Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg|75px|link=]] 
| style="height:90px; width:700px; font-size:16pt; vertical-align:middle; padding-right:0.5em;" |
The subject of this article is a [[Internet tough guy|loudmouth on the internet]] but a pathetic loser in real life.
|}
</div>

'''Bbb23''' (pronounced ''bee-bee-bee-two-three'' or ''triple-B twenty-three'') is an [[incel]] and a former [[Wikipedia Admin Gallery|administrator of the English-language Wikipedia]] who craved the feeling of being above all else. He was known for his inability to accept criticism and for his insincere, self-righteous, hostile, and threatening behaviour towards anyone weaker than him while playing the friendly arse-kisser to anyone stronger than himself.<ref>[http://archive.today/2020.07.18-195144/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia_talk:Arbitration_Committee/Noticeboard&diff=968249256&oldid=968242295 Wikipedia talk:Arbitration Committee/Noticeboard: Difference between revisions - Wikipedia] ([https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia_talk:Arbitration_Committee/Noticeboard&diff=968249256&oldid=968242295 original URL])</ref>

He started editing Wikipedia in 2009 and became an administrator in July 2012 and a CheckUser in March 2015.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20211217105522/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Bbb23?dir=prev User contributions for Bbb23 - Wikipedia (earliest 50 edits)]</ref><ref>{{wayback|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_adminship/Bbb23|20220610174810|title=Requests for adminship/Bbb23}}</ref><ref name=CUOS2015>'''{{wikilink|Wikipedia:Arbitration_Committee/CheckUser_and_Oversight/2015_CUOS_appointments|Wikipedia:Arbitration Committee - CheckUser and Oversight - 2015 CUOS appointments}}'''</ref> A decade later, a church mouse who was unfairly blocked by him started a petition for a recall and immediately everyone came out of the woodwork and saw him desysopped by friends in record time.<ref name=Desysopped>'''{{wikilink|Wikipedia:Administrator_recall/Bbb23|Wikipedia:Administrator recall/Bbb23}}'''</ref>
{{clear}}

== Personality ==
[[File:How Bbb23 handles criticism - like Cola handles Mentos.png|thumb|Ever wondered how Bbb23 handles criticism?]]
Bbb23 is the textbook [[Internet tough guy]]. He enjoys playing god on a website to seek escape from his miserable [[virgin|sexless]] real life. Occasionally, a comment happens to trigger him hard, for example this one accurately calling him a sad little virgin.<ref>'''{{wptl|Ponyo/Archive_52#Curious|''What do you think the user meant by "sad little virgins"? It sounds nasty, but I can't make any sense out of it.'' - Bbb23}}''' '''{{archive|7odl2#Curious}}'''</ref>

=== On his talk page ===
Bbb23 has the strange habit of scrubbing criticism off his talk page, be it ever so mild criticism, even from his administrator colleagues. Occasionally, he even removes posts for not being praise.<ref>[http://archive.today/2020.04.05-115838/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=949059956&oldid=949059834 Bbb23 removes post by administrator colleague Doug Weller, even though it wasn't even criticism of him. (4 April 2020)] ([http://archive.today/2020.04.05-115838/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=949059956&oldid=949059834 archive])</ref><ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=949062794 Bbb23 removes criticism by administrator colleague Ritchie333] ([http://archive.today/2023.12.18-210317/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=949062794 archive]) - " ‘ArbCom has informed me that I am using my CU privileges in ways that violate policy.... I will not be responding to messages posted to my Talk page.’ There's your problem in a nutshell - '''you won't talk things through with people'''. </ref>

His administrator buddies have protected his talk page against edits from unregistered editors and new accounts in order to shield him from critisicm.<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log/protect?page=User_talk:Bbb23 Protection log - User talk:Bbb23 - Wikipedia]</ref>

Also, he and his arselickers reacted to Encyclopedia Dramatica!<ref>[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Bbb23/Archive_32#]</ref>

=== Hypocrisy ===
Before being an administrator, he complained about "incivility and aggression", saying "I find it ironic that many of these same editors happily display tags and comments about civility on their user pages. I guess they don't practice what they preach."<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20190702130200/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=376666130 User:Bbb23: Difference between revisions (1 August 2010) - Wayback Machine] (mirror: [http://archive.today/http://web.archive.org/web/20190702130200/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=376666130 archive.today])</ref>. Yet, ''after'' becoming an administrator, he became just that.

=== Thanklessness ===
In the ten years since the inception of the [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:Thanks "thanks" button], he has never used it. Not even once.<ref>[http://archive.today/2023.12.18-002456/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log?type=thanks&user=Bbb23&page=&wpdate=&tagfilter=&subtype= Empty thanks log of Bbb23 as of December 18, 2023]</ref>

When a Greek Wikipedia editor warned the English Wikipedia administrators on their noticeboard that articles on Greek and Albanian history may be targeted by a vandalism campaign soon, rather than being appreciative of the warning, Bbb23 suggested that the editor who issued the warning should be blocked:

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
This is Popular Punk's first edit to en.wiki. WP:NOTHERE.--Bbb23 (talk) 17:10, 28 January 2024 (UTC)
</blockquote>

<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20240522075846/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/Archive358#Potential_vandalism_of_articles_regarding_Greek_and_Albanian_history Wikipedia:Administrators'_noticeboard/Archive358 - Wikipedia § Potential vandalism of articles regarding Greek and Albanian history]</ref>

=== Powerhungriness ===
Bbb23 could not care less about the declared mission of Wikipedia, as signified by his poor treatment of productive editors, immediate blocking of users for mild criticism,<ref name=Aron_Manning>[http://web.archive.org/web/20230202152300/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Aron_Manning#For_the_record User talk:Aron Manning § For the record - Wikipedia (2019)]</ref> and deletion sprees of valid articles which were independently approved by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:New_pages_patrol new page patrollers].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20231218213428/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log/delete/User:Bbb23?offset=20190417&limit=500 Deletion log of Bbb23 (2019-04-17)] - see pages by HordeFTL</ref> To Bbb23, Wikipedia only is a tool for inflating his ego through excercising authority over ordinary editors, not providing free knowledge. Whether his destructive behaviour is permitted by policy or not, him behaving this way indicates he derives satisfaction from it. Otherwise he would not do it.

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
[…] As (s)he reverted the CU block, I do not intend to seek recourse for this issue, but I ask that a record of this incident be made in the form of a warning, listing the breach of ADMINACCT and TOOLMISUSE as a mistake: I still try to AGF, and want to believe this was not a personal attack. Thank you. —Aron M 18:42, 29 June 2019 (UTC)
* Talk page access has been revoked.--Bbb23 (talk) 18:54, 29 June 2019 (UTC)
</blockquote>
<ref name=Aron_Manning />

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
I fully accept the reasoning behind my ban, however I noticed literally all of my articles have been reverted including articles such as Looney Tunes Cartoons that had been largely built up by other users, others include articles including a lot of my geographical stubs were also in the process of being built up by others, I feel it is unfair that these articles have been wiped in one swoop, many of them including Hill County Courthouse are a huge loss as they are listed monuments in the United States, I wondered if we could revert the G5 and do a manual review of such articles so that the relevant ones can be saved and edited by others. StaniforthHistorian (talk) 15:50, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
</blockquote>
<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20220607222210/https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AStaniforthHistorian&diff=prev&oldid=892592484#Deleted_Articles User talk:StaniforthHistorian - Wikipedia § Deleted Articles]</ref>

<blockquote style="border-left:5px solid grey; padding:1em 0; padding-left:1em;">
I've removed the section you posted below about your articles and G5. You have zero say in the application of G5 to your creations. Any more of this nonsense, and I'll revoke talk page access.--Bbb23 (talk) 15:52, 15 April 2019 (UTC)
</blockquote>
<ref name=StaniforthHistorian />

Articles he vengefully deleted were occasionally brought back by his administrator colleagues because they were too good to be deleted.<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Log?page=Hill_County_Courthouse Hill County Courthouse] ([https://archive.ph/NfALy archive]) - deleted by Bbb23, brought back by BD2412 because "This seems like an entirely valid page."</ref> This shows Bbb23 has zero regard for the quality of an article. What actually matters to him is fullfilling his desire to excercise revenge against whoever dared to criticize him.<ref name=StaniforthHistorian>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:StaniforthHistorian User talk:StaniforthHistorian - Wikipedia] ([https://archive.ph/n2Pf7 archive])</ref>

He has a subpage proudly presenting a mass-deletion of eighty articles. As indicated by the blue links, almost all of them have been re-created. All those editors who re-created those articles could collectively have saved many hours of work if they could have started from existing articles. Instead, Bbb23 couldn't help but inflate his fragile ego by demolishing what others have built. Or perhaps this is his way of coping with his sexual frustration.<ref>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23/d-batch User:Bbb23/d-batch - Wikipedia] ([http://archive.today/2022.11.11-232605/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23/d-batch archive])</ref>

Besides, Bbb23 is so bothered about trivial matters such as being called "dude" that he created an entire userbox about it. He also felt the need to tell us he had once been the victim of an unintentional block that was immediately lifted anyway. [[oh noes|Oh, noez!]] How is that in relation to his behaviour towards others?<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20221111223502/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23/Userbox/Not_Dude User:Bbb23/Userbox/Not_Dude] - '' "Bbb23 does not wish to be called Dude. Not now, not ever." ''</ref><ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20200322063113/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bbb23 User:Bbb23 - Wikipedia (2020-03-22)]</ref>

In 2015, Bbb23 tried to become both a CheckUser and an oversighter, but '''{{wpul|NE_Ent|the Wikipedia editor "NE Ent"}}''' exposed that Bbb23 has no real need for the oversight tool. Bbb23 tried utterly hard to contain his anger.<ref name=CUOS2015 />

If Wikipedia stopped existing, Bbb23 would not be sad due to the lost knowledge, but sad due to his lost ability to exercise control.
{{clear}}

== Loss of CheckUser tool ==
Bbb23 thought of himself as an untouchable lord from the heavens. That lasted until his arrogance caught up on June 18th, 2020. On that day, he woke up to a permission error when trying to access his favourite page, ''Special:CheckUser''.

[[File:The ultimate nightmare of Bbb23 on June 18, 2020.png|thumb|center|800px|When Bbb23 saw this, he thought ''"Wait WHAT?! I am not a CheckUser?! Oh no… this can't possibly mean any good."'' - This is the ultimate nightmare of Bbb23. Oh, wait, it's not a nightmare. '''It's reality!''' ]]

He ran afoul of the Arbitration Committee for habitually abusing his CheckUser tool for cyberstalking.<ref>[http://archive.today/2020.07.16-205005/https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiInAction/comments/fvvo6o/privacy_invading_wikipedia_functionary_bbb23_rage/.compact Privacy invading Wikipedia functionary Bbb23 rage quits after long overdue mild rebuke from bosses] (/u/JackTheJiller, /r/WikiInAction - Reddit - April 6th, 2020)</ref> He [[butthurt|tried to drama quit]] Wikipedia to make them change their minds, but they didn’t, and his “retirement” only lasted few months before he came back to continue being a dickweed.

== He couldn't stay away from Wikipedia ==
Out of rage, he slapped the "[[wikicide|retired]]" template on his user page, even though its usage notes state "Do not use this template unless you plan to completely and permanently stop editing".<ref>Bbb23 retiring: [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=963959711 June 22, 2020] ([https://archive.ph/oSl1X archive]), unretiring: [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bbb23&diff=prev&oldid=1023186666 May 14, 2021] ([https://archive.ph/pU02E archive]). [https://xtools.wmcloud.org/ec/en.wikipedia.org/Bbb23 Editor statistics for Bbb23] ([https://archive.ph/FFExA archive 2023-12]) show he resumed editing in March 2021.</ref><ref>'''{{wikilink|Template:Retired|Template:Retired - Wikipedia}}'''</ref>

Whoops! Looks like he is too hopelessly addicted to Wikipedia to stay away from it, the only place where he can feel above others. A few months of his insufferable real life and he thought "[[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS|maybe retiring from Wikipedia wasn't such a good idea]]", and he couldn't help but be right back at Wikipedia.

In August 2020, the Wikimedia Office showed Bbb23 its fat middle finger (even fatter than [https://imgur.com/a/42VKmEZ angry Santa Claus' thick middle fingers]!) and told him he can never be CheckUser again.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210816164802/https://meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk%3AAccess_to_nonpublic_personal_data_policy%2FNoticeboard&oldid=20358059 Revocation of access to non-public information: Bbb23]</ref>

{{rainbowpyramid|HOW EMBARRASSING}}

When Bbb23 hears his favorite song, [https://soundcloud.com/jikay/dum-dee-dum-jikay-rework Dum Dee Dum], he gets excited and makes drunken dance movements to try to forget about his miserable and [[incel|girlfriendless]] life outside Wikipedia. All he does is delete things and threaten people, because that is the highlight of his miserable days, where he can feel above others for once and get a hit of dopamine. He considers any criticism of him "trolling". He blocked '''{{wikilink|Special:Contributions/142.136.131.97|this IP address}}''', and ''carefully reverted every minor and harmless change the IP user made''.

Every evening, Bbb23 goes to bed sorely wishing he could hold a pretty woman in his arms. But every evening, he realizes it is nothing but a far-reaching pipe dream because he is far too ugly for any woman to even consider him (except for unfeminine hags who look like Annegret Krampf-Karrenbauer).
{{clear}}

== References ==
<references />

{{Wikipedia}}
{{Truth}}
{{timeline|Featured article December 19 - 20, [[2023]]|[[Sanctioned Suicide]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Completionist]]}}
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

Basement-dweller

2025-05-20T12:25:45Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Gallery */

[[Image:BasementDwellerOutside.gif|center|]]

[[Image:Basementdweller.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Basement dweller (identity concealed to prevent [[ugly]]).]]
[[Image:Mew2King.jpg|thumb|A basement-dweller's reaction to the outside world.]]
[[Image:Mcfattybasementdweller.jpg|thumb|200px|A basement dweller in action.]]
[[Image:Robbie.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Another basement dweller]]
[[Image:Neckbeard porn.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Shocking developments]]
[[File:Riggy face.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Broadcasting live from mommy's basement.]]
A commonly-used phrase that describes the socially inept: [[Atheism|Atheists]], [[Love Shy|love shys]], [[loser|losers]], [[Fanboys]], [[cosplay | cosplayers]], [[nerd]]s, [[slashfic]] authors, [[gamers]], [[weeaboos]], [[libertarianism|libertarians]], [[anarchists]], [[Social Justice|SJWs]], [[tumblr|tumblr users]], [[furfags]], [[Brony|bronies]], [[btard|/b/tards]], [[Star Trek|trekkies,]] [[World of Warcraft | WoW players]], [[League of Legends]] players, [[Homestuck]] readers, [[EDiot|Ediots]], [[Wikipedia]] editors, [[TV Tropes|Tropers]], [[Something Awful|Goons]], [[You|you]], and most of all [[trolls]]. In other words, people who know that the light of day will expose them for [[You|the freaks they are]]; Thus,[[you|they]] go on ED or [[you|they]] dwell in their [[parents]]' basement, [[fap]]ping while being ever so [[Politically incorrect|POLITICALLY INCORRECT :coolface:]] on the internet and live off [[pocky]] and [[KFC]].

==Habitats==

Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a [[basement]], this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the faculties necessary to become a [[W|contributing member of society]]. This includes being a [[McDonalds|twenty-year-old unemployed]] [[college]] dropout whose mother pays your rent (however, some basement dwellers will go to college and get a degree, only to return to their parents' house and fap like there is no tomorrow [see "A Confederacy of Dunces"]). Some "basement dwellers" still live in their parent's normal house as they did when they grew up, particularly if the house doesn't have a basement as is often the case in [[Europe]] and Texas because texans don't believe in basements -- they are unholy. Others still live in their [[Chris-chan|parent's bedroom]].

Excluded from the title basement-dweller are people who live with their parents for legitimate reasons. One must remember there is a difference between [[Incest|"living with mommy"]], and [[Jew|"living off mommy"]]. Some examples of this include:

* [[Fap]]ping at home between semesters of college
* No point in moving out if your college is a block away.
* Living at home because of financial problems (guess McDonald's doesn't pay as much as they used to)
* Living at home to assist in the [[Lemonparty|care of one's own elderly parents]].
* [[Furry|A very small minority of people who have or had a very serious and prolonged illness]]
* Being a member of an Italian or Chinese family.

Typical basement-dwellers are needlessly burdensome on their parents and/or government. Most of their time is taken up [[masturbating]] to [[furry art|furry porn]] and [[online sex games]], going to [[con|nerdish conventions]], eating cheese doodles, and playing [[D&D]]. In addition, as [[completist]]s, they spend an inordinate amount of time on the [[Internets]], using [[IRC]], [[LiveJournal]], partaking in [[Bandwidth_envy]], and arguing vehemently over their particular branch of [[fandom]]. And yes, you will still be a basement-dweller, even after you've finished building your new [[shit nobody cares about|"v0.1 2X Overdrive dual-ballast dual-T8-tube 128W 6,500k daylight fluorescent light]]." If you are an [[engineer]] or geologist, [[Vietnam|dig secret tunnel networks]] (or just [[series of tubes|a pressurized capsule network to transport M:tG cards]]) while making secret entrances to find D&D bong sessions and [[plastic crap]].

'''How can I tell if an otherwise typical lolcow is a basement-dweller?'''
:There's a drop ceiling in their hideous webcam stills, and there's no way that said ceiling is in their "office," as they will claim. Wood paneling is also a dead giveaway.

Don't be fooled by the presence of a microwave, as the suspect's mother's kitchen can be used to throw people off the scent, but concentrate on the distinctive pallor of the individual's complexion which reveals their subterranean habitat.

===A prime example of [[faggot|basement-dweller]]s and/or [[weeaboo]] [[cock|dick]]s:===
<center>
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|<center><youtube>k-uTnqYHZ-I</youtube></center>|<center><big>'''THE Basement Dweller'''</big> <youtube>N6ikfeChS6E</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Contemplates Breasts'''</big> <youtube>NqvR_qMToHo</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Explains Term from Basement Dwellers' Point-of-view'''</big> <youtube>HxLtCc0CAE0</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Enjoying Magic the Gathering'''</big> <youtube>oCagrNkBjTI</youtube> </center>}}</center>

==Basement-Dwellers & [[Trolls]]==

[[File:Neet.jpg|center]]

No - not [[trolls|internet wankers]] like [[4Chan]], but the mythical creatures from Scandinavia. Symptoms include:

*Suffering from greasy skin and warts caused by a lack of washing and living off junk food brought down by their moms every 30 minutes, because they are literally unable to move from the front of their computers.
*Poor eyesight caused by the endless glare of the computer screens or because they are [[asians]].
*Rotting teeth caused by grinding them [[fap|while thinking about sex]], or caused by their soda, sugar and refrigerated food diet.
*[http://www.triplestarnews.com/images/the_memo/bonedog/tech_soul/bad_technology.html Poor social life] brought on by virtually no IRL interaction (mom bringing you down cookies - and some more boxes of [[fap|tissues]] - doesn't count).
*A serious weight problem - they are either [[fat|grossly bloated]] or [[pro-ana|hideously skinny]]. The ones with [[neckbeard|neckbeards]] are funnier, particularly when coupled with moobs.
*A rotten, diseased workspace swarmed with a massive collection of day-old used dishes, empty soda cans, and [[plastic crap]], accumulated as a result of pure fucking laziness.

Of course the majority of basement-dwellers are actually [[trolls]], and vice-versa.

==[[weeaboo|Hikikomori]]==

[[weeaboo|引きっこもり. Japanese basement-dweller.]] Only difference being most japanese live in apartments, which do not have a basement. Even Japanese houses don't have basements, apparently prohibited by law. "Parasite single" is a term for those who live off their parents. The Britfag term "NEET" is also used.

{{squote|Hikikkomori live a nocturnal life, in a deep depressive state, far from social responsibilities (school, work, family) and activities. Even sexuality is often virtually lived and connected to a sexy manga heroine.|Francesco Jodice|describing the subject of his [http://www.francescojodice.com/video/hikikomori_eng.mov film]}}

[[shit nobody cares about|Interestingly enough]], Hikikomori seem to feel that [[BAW|they've got it worse]] than their western counterparts. A Japanese basement-dweller will often explain that [[Japanese]] culture is so simultaneously repressive and demanding that they've never properly adapted to it, causing them to wet themselves if they venture out into the public[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gIx6hZweHc]. Unlike their western counterparts, it is estimated that more than half of all Hikikkomori abuse/ beat their parents, which makes them far more [[An Hero|cooler]] while remaining anti-social losers. Male Hikikkomori may also explain that they feel they lack social role models because their fathers are entirely pussy-whipped. The large percentage of western basement-dwellers who have to import their [[Pocky]] and download their [[shota]] likely beg to differ. Hikikomori often go on [[2ch]], for which there is even a hikky board. It's against the rules on that board to tell the hikkys to go kill themselves. The cowardly hikkys who go on 2ch often whine and complain about their [[otaku|escapist culture]] being repressed, while [[hypocrite|establishing that they are no different from the other japs]] by blaming everything on the [[Koreans]]. Hikkys leech money off their parents to buy anime and manga paraphernalia so they can cum and drool all over it. You'd think that if they hated Japanese mainstream society so much they would band together in protest IRL (because no Jap can defy the urge to conform to a large group of people) or even use some of that money to buy a megaphone and shout out the window. (they wouldn't even have to leave their rooms) Instead, they go on 2ch and [[BAWWW]] about it like little babies.

''[[Rozen Maiden]]'' has a Hikikomori as a main character. Much like ''[[Shit|Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' before it, having a loser protagonist they could identify with meant that American [[Weeaboo|weeaboos]] latched onto the show like parasitic lamprey, only this time the "sexy manga heroines" and cartoon lust objects weren't [[Neon Genesis Evangelion|overstacked expressionless doll-like girls]], but [[Desu|ACTUAL DOLLS]].

[[Zombie#Max_Brooks|Max Brooks]]' ''[[Faggotry|World War Z]]'' features an hikikomori who becomes an famous [[Crap|hero]] after the [[Zombie Apocalypse]], eh slicing off zombie heads and not afraiding anyone with the help of an [[Lemon party|old]], blind, [[Marijuana#Cannabis|gardener]]. The idea that an hikikomori could ever do anything useful for anyone is the least believable element of [[Shit nobody cares about|the previous sentence]].

For a lighthearted and accurate look at the life of a Hikikkokomori, see the delightful shareware game, [[Yume Nikki]]. In it, a young girl overcomes her deepest fears and becomes [[an hero]] to Hikikkomori and [[Weeaboo]] all over the world. There's also the anime "Welcome to the NHK" which is mostly noteworthy because it doesn't involve power levels and robots for once, the protagonist is a lunatic and, most importantly, unlike [[you]] he wants to change his life and not remain an inept loser by doing something.

==Cellar-dweller==

A '''cellar-dweller''' is not to be confused with a '''basement-dweller'''. Although a person can be both, they might also be one but not the other. Some people are neither, but this article is not about them.

A cellar-dweller might claim to live on the main floor of a house in that they occasionally sleep there, eat there or fetch food from the main floor. The cellar-dweller might even ''own'' the house. However, cellar-dwellers remain in their cellar or basement most of the time because they have chosen to abandon the outside world for the inside world of fantasy tabletop battlegames, similar online or computer games, or some other extremely time-consuming hobby like counterfeiting, manufacturing drugs or [[Josef Fritzl|raping the shit out of your secret prisoner]].

Cellar-dwellers all over the world rejoiced in 1998 when death punk band [http://www.anotherstateofmind.net/antiworld%20home.htm Antiworld] wrote a song just for them, entitled 'Cellar Dweller.'

==Music==

<center><youtube>Tt1qHYU6cYE</youtube></center>
<center>The Basement Dwellers Anthem</center>

It is well known that #1 music for basement dwellers is by far [[Dimmu Borgir|black metal]], however they also listen to [[rock]], [[pop]], [[techno]], [[raver|rave]], [[rap]], [[boring|video game music]] and sometimes [[emo]].

*[[rock|Celldweller]]
*[[System of a Down]]
*[[Fall Out Boy]]
*[[Eminem]]
*[[ICP]]
*[[Linkin Park]]
*[[Limp Bizkit]]
*[[Guns 'N' Roses]]
*[[Metallica]]
*[[Slipknot]]
*[[Evanescence]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[My Chemical Romance]]
*[[Fat Larry's Band‎]]
*[[Final Fantasy VII]] OST
*[[Rozen Maiden]] '''OST'''

==Gallery==
 
{{cg|Gallery|basement|center|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:Phelps-Basement-Room.jpg|Alternate basement setup
Image:Gamer.png|[[Typical]] [[gay|basement-dweller]] looking at [[porn]].
Image:Invasionscreambasement.jpg|A Dweller's worst fear: being discovered outside by the pod people!
Image:Basement de luxe 1.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:Basement_dweller_OHGOD.jpg|Basement dweller AND a [[pedophile]]!
Image:Basement_dweller_trollcat.jpg|Some [[Caveatipse|basement dwellers]] are in their late thirties.
Image:Basement de luxe 2.jpg
Image:Move out graduate.jpg|Congratulations graduate! Now [[GTFO]]!
image:weeaboobase.jpg|A weeaboo [[loli|pedophile]] in his pathetic basement.
Image:Wall a la Taco Bell by FroogleDoop.jpg|Basement dwellers eat at [[Taco Bell]].
Image:WOLFALICIOUSBITCH.jpg|Wignedwolf, basement dwelling furry magickian.
Image:Tatas.jpg|[[IRL|Out]] of his habitat.
Image:Fatasgr.jpg|The side effects of not going out.
Image:NGADDICT3.jpg|Typical Russian zadrot.
Image:Basement de luxe 3.jpg
Image:Timecards.jpg|Sustenance of a basement dweller: ''[[EverQuest]]'' time cards.
File:Cuntdestroyers.png|Two fine specimens.
Image:Azn mans pasttime.jpg|How [[azn]] basement dwellers spend their time.
Image:We Need To Talk.jpg|Should you inadvertently discover such a setup in a friend's house, get them [[Psychologist|professional help]] immediately.
Image:Basement de luxe 4.jpg
File:NEET Leech.png
Image:1242088178691.jpg|This is what happens when they leave their basement.
Image:Typical Singaporean.jpg|Basement dweller on [[Facebook|Failbook]]
Image:Lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous.jpg|Note the dumpster furniture.
Image:Typical-Basement-Dweller.jpg.jpg|Your typical basement dweller, note the blank soulless look in its eyes.
File:Afinespecimen.png
File:Basement de luxe 5.jpg
File:Neckbeard Dick.jpg
File:Neckbeard Vs SWAT.jpg
File:Sawyer Kabance.jpg|One day, you're a rugby star. The next, you're a racist elementary school janitor and [[Comic|DC]] fanboy looking at people's kids on [[Failbook]] named Sawyer Kabance.
</gallery>|0}}

==See Also==
* [[Alligator]]
* [[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]]
* [[furfag|Chickenhed61]]
* [[Chris-chan]]
* [[Collectoons]]
*[[Vonhelton]]
* [[Darkfalz]]
* [[Degen]]
* [[Demcad]]
*[[User:Equivamp|Equivamp]]
*[[Erik "Tazman" Mokracek]]
* [[fakesagan]] - TheAmazingAtheist's other favorite fuckbuddy
* [[Fandom]]
* [[Faust & Kikyo Maaka]]
* [[GalladeXD]]
* [[ginger]]
* [[Glasses Teenager]]
* [[goodgirl_666]]
* [[Ground floor]]
* [[furfag|gsgbsgvcsrgr]]
* [[Gsnfag]]
* [[Halo]]
* [[HelenBaby]] - An Epic Failure even at basement dwelling
* [[Internet points]]
* [[retard|INfinity]]
* [[Jamie Baillie]]
* [[Jared Aycock]]
* [[John Skelton]]
* [[Josef Fritzl]]
* [[Joshua Goldberg]]
* [[Kimmo Alm]]
* [[King Of The Nerds]]
* [[LAN Party]]
* [[Love Shy]]
* [[MapleStory]]
* [[Matthew Nicholson]]
* [[Marjan Siklic]]
* [[Meta527II]]
* [[My Little Pony]]
* [[TheMysteriousMrEnter]]
* [[03bgood]]
* [[Pantaloons]]
* [[Raukue]]
* [[Runescape]]
* [[shortman]]
* [[Sick fuck]]
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
* [[Sonmanic]]
* [[Spax3]]
* [[Spending too long on the internet]]
* [[Trey Eric Sesler]]
* [[Tom Galloway]]
* [[furfag|TuffNuts]]
* [[Fallout 3|Vault Dweller]]
* [[VenomFangX]] - The AmazingAtheist's favorite fuckbuddy
* [[Yoshi-lord]]
* [[You]]
* [[World of Warcraft]]
* [[UltimateUKFFFan]]
* [[XOMizzEggManOx]]
* [[Zane1193]]

==External links==
* [http://tryvindale.com/VsrT2sIW Need some money to renovate your basement? Click here!]
* [http://shutinnetwork.com/ The Shut-In Network, where basement dwellers dwell]
{{life}}

[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Satanism]]

Russell Greer

2025-04-20T21:37:32Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* School Shooting Threat "Prank" */

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Taylor Swift===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor18.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

{{cg|Never give up!|doubledown|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_4.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_6.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_8.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_9.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_12.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

{{cg|If it amuses the court...|misrepresentations|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_2.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_4.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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===Kiwi Farms ===
Coming soon...

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
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|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cars parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:11 - Always Tay.jpg|Russell blames Barnard's suicide on Taylor Swift.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:12 - Why she did it.jpg|Barnard's friends try to figure out the connection.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Then they try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:13 - Bailee's BFF.jpg|Her best friend intervenes.
Image:14 - Stahp Mckena.jpg|He tells her best friend she is wrong.
Image:15 - Russell's Fault.jpg|Russell is shown logic.
Image:16 - Bad Mckena.jpg|Russell honors Barnard's memory by attacking her best friend.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 2.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 3.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 4.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 6.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 7.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 8.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 9.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 10.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 11.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 12.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 13.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 14.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 15.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 16.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 17.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 18.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddit|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddit|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddit|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

File:Sawyer Kabance.jpg

2025-04-17T17:07:18Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: BoyyyFromAlaska uploaded a new version of File:Sawyer Kabance.jpg

AmericanDad86

2025-04-13T17:02:05Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

{{Milkedcow}}
{{warning|Editing this page may provoke a call to the Wikimedia Foundation, which totally runs Encyclopedia Dramatica.}}
'''AmericanDad86''' is a 38-year-old gay [[Wikipedia]] editor with the suave mannerisms of a bipolar five year-old giving a cat a bath. A true nigga hailing from [[Wisconsin]], when he is not jamming corn up his ass and stabbing shit, he is on Wikipedia, informing everyone about his special degree in Journalism. Along the way, he goes hunting for white people and does battle with every person with better social skills than him, leaving few to avoid his wrath. In truth, he is only '''concerned''' about everyone else's behavior. Not only does he have a degree in Journalism, but also the sensibility to prescribe psychiatric treatment. Dr. Phil, bend over or get out of his way.

Whenever AmericanDad86 has a disagreement, he takes the matter to the wankfest at the Administrators' Board to state how '''concerned''' he is about the emotional state of everyone else. There, he will happily write a novel and insist upon its Pulitzer material. Utilizing his sophisticated Journalism degree, he has uncovered a truly insidious plot in which all the editors on Wikipedia are centered around a man known only as "[[A challenger appears|Bbb23]]", who has been pulling the strings on all planes of existence with the sole goal of gaining mo' powah! Our only hope, AmericanDad86 realized, that after all the cases of other people not being as good at Wikipedia, other people being homosexual, other people personally attacking him by disagreeing, other people editing in his space, that there would only be one savior, (besides his black ass)...

♪ [[Jimbo Wales|JIMBO WALES!!!]] ♫

So, he called Wikipedia and said, "Hep! I'mma bein' repwessed! Hawassment, evewywhehe!" The person on the other end paused then hung up.

== The Epic Saga ==
[[Image:Nigger You Gay.jpg|250px|thumb|right]]
AmericanDad86 [[Cum|came]] as a Christmas gift from God, (or dreidel from Yahweh, if you're into [[Jew|killing our Lord]]), when he entered the world of Wikipedia on [[Last Thursday|December 26, 2012]]. Literally his first line of business was to [[Baw|report]] an editor called Cresix ‎to the administrators. When they pointed this out, he knew nobody could be trusted and who has his daughter? Thus, he wheeled his chair back from the card table from which his Hewlett Packard laptop stood, looked out across the fields of corn beyond the Whitewater, Wisconsin trailer park and experienced an epiphany: He had to become the savior of Wikipedia. He had to become The One who would take on the administrators. He had to become [[Family Guy|American Dad]]... 86.

It did not take long for the man to cross swords and wrestle butts with fellow editors, leading him to get '''concerned''' with everyone's behavior and report them to the administrators, who he hopes to systematically murder one day. After engaging in our favorite pastime of reverting people who do not share his beliefs, he was banned by Bbb23, who obviously is an evil, evil madman! MuahahaHAAAA- sorry, I got excited. From that point on, AmericanDad86 knew who his nemesis would forevermore be and thus embarked upon his relentless campaign to see Bbb23 dead. In the meantime, however, he would spend most of his time lecturing people about the uniqueness of his [[bullshit|Journalism degree]], which automatically makes him far greater than us mere mortals. Editors who refused to lick his scrotum would be ordered to type new responses addressing him as "God". Administrators who interacted with editors he didn't like in years prior would be petitioned to have their long-standing administrative statuses stripped away.

One day, AmericanDad86 came across a fellow chicken-choker called CTF83!, who did not share his grammatical [[Grammar Nazi|principles]]. He responded with this...
{{Quote|CTF83, your reversion here with the edit summary of "horrible grammar" makes no sense. Dear, you reverted back to the sentence ''"His reasons for this was that she is a liberal"'' from my edit of ''"His reasons for this were that she is a liberal."'' Going back to the basics of grammar, "was" is for singular words and "were" is for plural words. Honey, we don't say "His reasons was" as much as this may seem grammatically correct to you, we say "His reasons were." "Reasons" is plural because it has that added "s" on the end. Plural means more than one. Also "Liberal" and "Conservative" when referring to the political parties is always capitalized." I know this is a lot to take in for you. Are you understanding or do I have to break this down more for you?! Also, do not tell me horrible grammar when I have a bachelor's degree in journalism and you don't even know the basics.|AMERICANDAD86, God of Grammar.}}

Thus began one of the most blown-out-of-proportion debates in the history of Wikipedia, in which CTF83! accused AmericanDad86 of being homophobic and the latter accusing of the former of something by writing a book. [[Shit nobody cares about|All the big players sprung into action]] and a massive movement to see him banned was made. Like an angelic Chuck Norris, an administrator called Floquenbeam floated on down and rescued AmericanDad86 like one would a box of gay kittens. AmericanDad86 started licking Floquenbeam's asshole for over a month and voluntarily attacked Bbb23 on his behalf by writing more books, when the administrator asked him to ease up. Now, fuck that guy! What a monster, asking a simple black man to not attack an administrator! What a disgusting asshole, that pigfucker Floquenbeam! Thereafter, AmericanDad86 called up the Wikimedia Foundation and asked for the deaths of Bbb23, CTF83! and Floquenbeam. Bbb23 for being Bbb23, CTF83! for being a homosexual and Floquenbeam for not hating Bbb23. Did I mention that AmericanDad86 doesn't like Bbb23?

One day, AmericanDad86 finally came out to CTF83! as a gay black man bravely living in Wisconsin. A [[Orgy|parade]] was thrown. Soon after, he made peace with all his enemies, when suddenly a new [[Troll|user]] called ToFeignClef told AmericanDad86 that Bbb23 was organizing a massive campaign off-site to have him banned. [[Lie|Being a reasonable human being]], AmericanDad86 accepted this as gospel, gave ToFeignClef an [[rimjob|award]] and called the police, insisting that he would be pressing charges. While everyone else recognized this as a new form of Wiki-trolling, AmericanDad86's razor-sharp wit did not catch on for another two days. He apologized to Bbb23 for doing what he does best and the 2013 edition of ''The Adventures of AmericanDad86'' came to a happy ending. The End. Or is it?

In [[Last Thursday|June of 2014]], after months of silence, the world rediscovered AmericanDad86 when this page went up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. After several I.P. addresses expressed their interest in AmericanDad86, he was made aware of his [[Internet celebrity|celebrity]]. [[Rape|Taking it]] like a boss, he wrote several books worth of why it doesn't offend him and cited that [[Alexa]] does not even have a ranking for [[OhInternet|EncyclopediaDramatica.com]]. Right there we have to agree with him. That domain that we do not own really does reek of rotten balls. But after making eleven posts, let's be clear that he does not care. I mean, [[X is not your personal army|if somebody else wants to take this page down]], that would be great, [[Lie|but it doesn't offend him]]. I mean, it's not like this article would go on the front page of this website two days later, exposing him to [[Over 9000|thousands]] of fervent users. But since he beat us so fervently in his book, he doesn't have to worry. No... but maybe we could take the article down, since he's obviously not offended? Not offended at all, but maybe somebody else is who is [[Nigger|black]] and [[Faggot|gay]]?

== How to offend AD86 ==
[[Image:No nigger.gif|180px|thumb|right|AmericanDad86, whenever somebody reverts an edit.]]
There is an ocean of ways to offend AmericanDad86. Let's join Dr. Anonymous and discuss them:
* Disagree with him.
* Revert him. Your insolence will burst his semen balloon.
* Say that naughty N-word while discussing inappropriate things in a collegiate setting. That would offend any nigger.
* Be an administrator.
* Say that he should probably not pick fights with other people. That will warrant a phone call to the superiors at Wikimedia who do not pay their employees.
* Call him [[Faggot|Ru'Paul]]. Though he is super, that's offensive for some reason.
* Talk to him about how great his Encyclopedia Dramatica article is.
* Bbb23. Fuck that guy.

== The Bad Guys ==
{{Quote|You yourself have formally admitted on administrative noticeboards that you have in fact worked with Canoe in the past. How'd I know this?! How'd I know this?! You didn't even half to tell me.|Oh, good. I was worried I'd "half" to respond to this mandatory interrogation.}}
[[Image:Wikipediaadminbbb23.jpg|thumb|Bbb23... the kingpin. The pinnacle of admin attractiveness.]]
[[Image:Drmies.jpg|thumb|Racist Drmies. Got milk, good <s>sir</s> ma'am?]]
(You may want to play the Imperial March theme while reading this list).
* AndytheGrump - An irritating man who calls for consensus, when we should already know that AmericanDad86's Journalism degree makes all else null and immaterial.
* Bbb23 - The worst person in the universe. He once blocked AmericanDad86. Monster.
* Blackmane - He ''defied'' AmericanDad86... or, maybe just gave input while passing by one time. The first one sounds cooler, though!
* Blurred Lines - Besides having a super-gay name, this monster argued with AmericanDad86 about whether or not ''The Simpsons'' is <s>funny</s> an adult show. They were both blocked.
* Canoe1967 - The man who started it all and brought AmericanDad86 front and center by getting into an argument that one time. Worse, he's white!
* Cresix - The first man for AmericanDad86 to see on Wikipedia and the first he tried to ban.
* CTF83! - Once used the word "nigger" to describe an offensive word. Not only is he an obvious racist, but also a homosexual.
* DarthBotto - Said that he should not accuse people of making personal attacks. THAT was a personal attack!
* Davey2010 - He was mean that one time that he pointed out that AmericanDad86 cannot count to five. One-two-three-five-fo-OH, FUCK ME!
* Doniago - This guy is too much like AmericanDad86 for his own comfort. (Grimace).
* Drmies - An administrator who once shut down an accusation of racism AmericanDad86 presented. Obviously, a racist... and a tranny.
* ElKevbo - This bastard dared to express his opinion about notability. How dare he?
* Floquenbeam - The Mother Theresa of Wikipedia, this administrator once saved AmericanDad86's ass when everyone asked that he would be blocked. When AmericanDad86 later wrote the tenth edition, best-selling novel called ''"Fuck Bbb23"'', Floquenbeam asked him to not do that. Now, '''THAT''' was uncalled for! He subsequently contacted the Wikimedia Foundation, asking for charges to be pressed for having an opinion.
* GB Fan - A truly awful administrator who reported AmericanDad86 for edit-warring twelve times in a row. He must be stripped of his tools, indefinitely blocked from Wikipedia and castrated for safe measure.
* Kww - A then-administrator who once disagreed with AmericanDad86. After providing full lectures on how Wikipedia works a year before and seeing the already pathetic administrator [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Kww_and_The_Rambling_Man#Kww_desysopped desysopped], AmericanDad86 [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Kww&oldid=677386854 paid a little visit] to piss on his ashes one last time.
* InedibleHulk - He dared to scold AmericanDad86, then used naughty, naughty words. He must be punished... softly.
* RasputinAXP - Not only is he a former administrator, (which makes him evil), but he also told AmericanDad86 to pound sand. Nobody does that.
* Taroaldo - Once pointed out that AmericanDad86 is a diva. Everyone, stop what you're doing and listen to AmericanDad86's sonnet about why that is incorrect.
* ToFeignClef - A successful troll who fooled AmericanDad86 into thinking that Bbb23 was organizing a massive plot to see him dead.
* TParis - AmericanDad86 wrote a novel and this bastard have the audacity to ask him to abridge it. '''Nobody''' abridges art!
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] - Yay!- I meant, oh, that stupid site with five users, no international attention whatsoever and this page that does not offend him at all. Not at all. Nope.
* [[You]] - Just sayin'.

==See Also==
* [[Wikipedia]]
* [[Ironholds]]
* [[Tyciol]]
* [[MrFetch]]
* [[Unwarranted self-importance]]
* [[Internet tough guy]]
* [[Asking for it]]
* [[Black Supremacy]]

==External links==
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:AmericanDad86 AmericanDad86] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{WP}}
{{afro}}
{{lezz}}
{{Dying alone}}
{{Timeline|Featured article June 29 & 30, [[2014]]|[[Are You Fucking Kidding Me]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Mari Iijima]]}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:Niggers]]

Cloverfield

2025-02-11T03:04:58Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Reintroduced the summary from the page from 2008.

{{spoilers|[[Chris-Chan|The Cloverfield monster]] kills [[douche|Jason]] with his tail, its pubic lice bites [[bitch|Marlena]] [[guro|who then blows up]], and [[idiot|Hud]] gets [[Vore|eaten]]! The black person [[win|lives!]] [[Yuppie|Rob]] and [[Whore|Whatshertits]] also die, [[shit no one cares about|but it is left ambiguous!]] But where did this monster come from, [[you]] ask? Why, from the bottom of the sea. You see, the satellite that you see at the end of the movie actually woke the monster up on April 27th. [[Deepwater Horizon|It became angry and struck the drilling station above it and then swam to New York and attacked.]] At that point in time, which was May 22nd, black person threw a party because Rob was moving to [[Japan]] for a new career. He was going to work for Slusho!, a subsidiary of Tagruato, a mysterious company with questionable intentions. Slusho! uses a mysterious ingredient in their drinks that makes the buyer [[drugs|euphoric.]] It's the monster's [[sperm]]. There are several theories on how exactly Tagruato found said Monster. Did they create it somehow, and they're hiding it from the rest of the world as a sort of weapon, or are they blissfully unaware of what exactly they're messing with? Why did the Monster decide to go all the way to New York? Was it in West Philadelphia born and raised, the playground is where I spent most of my days...Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school? [[Pretentious|Or was it always alone?]] Why is it looking for its mother? In fact, how big is it's mother and where exactly is she hiding? What is the Cloverfield monster's gender? Is there something that can be done, or are we indeed too late? Perhaps it is related to Godzilla or the Old Ones? Did the Monster really die in the end? Or did it swim back in the water}}

[[tl;dr]]: Cloverfield sucks.

[[Image:1-18-08_never_forget.jpg|thumb|right|A date which will live in [[JEWS DID WTC|infamy]].]]

[[Image:Cloverfieldbmovie.jpg|thumb|right|Brutal honesty.]]

[[Image:Cloverfieldconspiracy2.jpg|right|thumb|HOLY SHIT! IF YOU ZOOM IN AT THE END OF THE MOVIE YOU CAN SEE THE MONSTER BEHIND THEM! (This, again, is a real one)]]

[[Image:Clovershoop.gif|frame|The ''Cloverfield'' monster [[Shoop da whoop|firin' its lazer]].]]

[[Image:Bitchesloveslusho.jpg|thumb|[[Bitches don't know]] about my Slusho.]]

[[Image:Cloverfieldopensinchina.jpg|thumb|''Cloverfield'' opens in China with a giant headless Lady Liberty. [[Azn|Everyone laughs at stupid democlatic Amelicans, ching chong chow.]]]]

[[Image:Cloverfieldconspiracy1.jpg|right|thumb|Look! It's Teddie! He's really in the movie for three seconds! '''WHO FUCKING CARES?''']]

[[Image:Cloverkips.jpg|thumb|right|So..uh...I herd some things...]]

[[Image:Golverfield.jpg|thumb|right|The sequel, ''Gloverfield: Electric Boogaloo'', coming out in 2012.]]

'''''Cloverfailed''''' (''Cloverfield'') is a [[lie|nice, short and uncomplicated little]] horror movie.

Right? Wrong.

An oh-so-mysterious teaser trailer came up during showings of [[Transformers]]. Most viewers jizzed their pants in [[retarded|awe and wonderment.]] The trailer was followed by the finding of numerous fake websites and MySpace accounts representing the institutions and characters from the movie. [[Fanboys]] soon gleefully shoved their left hands down their pants and 'researched' and created 'theories' with their right ones. Many thought it would become the big hit movie of the year. Others thought it could become America's [[Godzilla]]. Some claimed it could cure cancer, uphold the Rapture, and beat [[Chuck Norris]] in an arm wrestling match.

And then the movie came out.

Pure and utter [[truth|shit]]. Cloverfield had a plotline that would make ''Voyager'''s writing staff facepalm so hard that they embedded their head in the wall behind them, along with a shitpile of teaser blogs and bad flash sites that make Doctor Who's "Vote Saxon" campaign look restrained, and crowbarring it all into sixty minutes of running and crying. Audiences booed and RAEGed over what they assumed would be a decent movie. They promptly did the smart thing and forgot it existed. Unfortunately, it has not yet been put in its grave as [[fantards]] continue to [[masturbate]] over every little detail that is completely insignificant to [[irl|real life.]] While everyone has moved on to next big 'OMG First Person Perspective DUR HURR HURR' movie, [[You have no friends|Cloverfags]] are still shitting their pants and are trying to pause-frame the extra footage in the special edition Amazon-only Blu-ray release in a [[fail]] attempt to understand what everything is about.

If you manage to be annoyed by all the Clover[[faggotry]], look at the bright side: it does have some awesome special effects, and maybe you could bring someone you hate along so they can vomit to its 'authentic' shaky cam effects!

==The "Plot"==

<youtube>mp--l1wblb4</youtube>

[[tl;dr]]: They die.

===OMFG SPOILERS===
As we all know it starts with a [[Party Hard|party]] and shit goes downhill as the evil monster starts [[Buttsecks|fucking]] NY without lube.

The monster reeks of Zerg and in fact it zergrushes NY by dropping fuckloads of parasites. The acting is ok.

The whole viral shit with Slusho and whatnot is just plain shit. You [[Retard|don't learn anything]] about the monster and how it happened to exist. You don't even see the monster in total. You get some good aerial shots and when the camera dude gets eaten. The monster drops kind of small "parasites" that look like a mix of Starship trooper bugs and zerg and some other shit (ZERGRUSH!!!!!).

Hud (The Camera guy) talks about setting homeless on fire in the subway tunnels. This [[Goth|depressed]] chick gets [[Rape|attacked]] and injured by one of the the [[Nigga|parasites]] (they can walk on ceilings). As they reach a provisional military base/field hospital the chick starts feeling shit and her eye is bleeding and 2 guys in ABC suits grab her and you see her bursting apart through a tent wall. Personnel is yelling WE GOT A BITE or something like that as they see the chick. One can see a dead specimen of the parasites in a glass tank/storage container.

They talk to some nigger and he explains where and when the last evacuation choppers leave. Rob, the black chick and the camera dude go to Beth's apartment where she is kinda impaled on a metal pole. They lift her off it and she seems to be fine rather quick, even though she spent some time impaled and bleeding (she's even able to run).

They get the fuck out of there and some more parasites are around and someone kills a parasite with an axe.

I think the black chick gets rescued at 6 am, when the last evacuation choppers are taking off. Beth and Rob take a separate chopper. After an unsuccessful bombing the monster retaliates and, as it seams, eats a part of the chopper. Rob, Beth and the camera dude, HUD, survive. The monster is around and eats/attacks HUD (it's kinda stupid that such a huge beast bothers to kill a single human after staring at it for a while). Parts of him fall to the ground and Rob picks up the camera.

Beth and Rob seek cover and cry and shit like that.

Beth and Rob die (at least I assume, coz they get covered with debris when hiding under a bridge at 6:42 am) at the end when Manhattan gets bombed.

I farted a few times during the movie.

I added a sketch with details I remembered. Boss Nigger had backwards elbows, walking on its feet and hands. I remember a weird upwards pointed lower jaw, a short head with a kind of very-light redish sacks on each side of the head. It seemed to have at least one pair of extra arms on its chest. It had at least one tail. The colour was gray/light brown. The claws were awkwardly long.

(I have no fucking memory of how the hind legs look, but they may be longer)

Sometimes it looked like a tripod, sometimes almost humanoid, and as you see a foot stomping a tank, the foot is kinda backwards, like the alien exoskeletons in ID4 back in days.

Maybe the shot was just misleading or I didn't recognize it properly

The movie leaves you with the expectation to see a sequel or something like that, because otherwise it doesn't make much sense.

1. No explanation on what the monster is or where it comes from.

2. <s>Missing connection to Slusho or anything else</s> Jason, the first fuck to get killed, is wearing a slusho shirt, it was the brand of the slushie company in J.J Abrahms' old show Alias. Plus, it's just the working title, as is the actual title, named after the street outside of the film studio.

3. The 'tape' we get to see got recovered, so there must be some shit going on afterwards.

4.'''At the end of the credits (after the fucking [[Epic|epic]] score), there is a random whisper, rumored to say "It's still alive" when reversed, it's one resilient motherfucker.'''

Watch it, it's kinda ok, but I must say I left the cinema a bit frustrated. Also, I am one of those faggots who scoffs at action movies for having no substance, which is totally unexpected and makes a bad movie.

==Memorable Quotes==
''Cloverfield'' is one of those movies people will quote for years, like ''[[John Travolta|Pulp Fiction]]'', ''[[Fight Club]]'' or ''[[Star Wars]]''. Here are a few quotes, worthy of the Bard himself:

* "OH MAH GAWD, OH MAH GAWD, OH MAH GAWD!!!"
* "Dude, Rob, bro, what was--Dude!"
* "Oh shit, dude run, dude!"
* "MOVE MOVE MOVE!" (Also, at various times, "GO GO GO!" [[a cat is fine too|is fine too]])
* "What is it!? WHAT IS IT!?"
* "It's a terrible thing."
* "ALL YOU PEOPLE WANT IS MOAR MOAR MOAR-"

An actual person reviewing the movie's 'quality' and in quotes:

"If you watched it on the big screen you would have gotten a headache and motion sickness. That's one of the reasons I'm so prejudiced against it. It made me want to throw up.
But I agree, if they took a different angle, the whole "monster attacking New York" thing could have been modernized very nicely.
Unfortunately, like you said, it had no ending. And I don't think they ever explained why the monster was attacking or where it came from in the first place, did it? (I was trying too hard not to be sick, maybe it did and I didn't notice.) But I just assumed it must have attacked for the lulz.
The characters sucked and the character motivation sucked. I mean, seriously, the guy just figures out how to work a fucking camera and he's going to film the whole damn thing? C'mon, like that would happen in real life. Any person who wasn't retarded or particularly suicidal would put down the damn camera and haul ass out of there. Speaking of hauling ass out of there, why would they follow that guy to get that girl in the first place? Especially that one chick (Marlaina, I think?). She even said exclusively that she didn't really know anyone at that party so what skin is it off her nose if they want to go find some other girl? I don't know about you but I would not run around trying to save someone I don't know, who's probably already dead if a giant monster was attacking the city. I would have been long gone in one of the helicopters.
But I did laugh when the camera guy got eaten. But then it ended so suddenly after that my mind was a mixture between, "Finally, now I just have to get out of this theater without vomiting" and "Seriously? That's IT? What the hell kind of stupid ass ending is THAT? That was even dumber than the ''Blair Witch Project''!"
And it basically was the ''Blair Witch Project'' meets ''Godzilla'' meets the [[Fail|Anti-lulz.]]"

==Working Titles==
* ''The Dump''
* ''[[Chocolate Rain]]''. (Some stay dry and others feel the pain.)
* ''Slusho!''
* ''Epic Movie''
* ''Amazing Marketing Campaign With Failed Shitty Movie: Works Every Time''

==The Japanese Ruin Everything==

Japan has an exclusive four part manga called ''Kishin'' that gives Tagruato some backplot and more [[porn]] for Clovertards to [[masturbate]] to.

#Japanese fisherman has flashbacks of being beaten up in school.
#Snap back to the present day.
#Loli, tits, bondage, guys with [[Sephiroth|long flowing hair and huge robes and shoulder pads]].
#Monster attacks Japan. (If that's the case, then wouldn't they have been more prepared for when it attacks New York, you now, just in case?

==Trolling Cloverfags==

Cloverfags like to hang out on blogs where they engage in their favorite activities:

#Roleplaying
#Setting each other cryptic puzzles to prove what magnificent e-detectives they all are.
#Crying "HALP I NO SPEEK JAPANEEZ"...or screaming about how the manga is not canon OMG.
#Arguing over increasingly convoluted plot analysis.

This is [[srs bsns|serious business]], and all of them have poured much of their unfortunate lives into taking every little detail/easter egg and blowing it severely out of proportion. For this reason, they're rather easy to troll.

* Give them some sort of cipher or password related puzzle to solve that has no solution. They'll play forever.

* Point out that the director has said in an interview that the monster dies. This will enrage them, because they ALL sat through a twelve minute long end credit roll just to hear a random sound sample at the end which is alleged to say "IT'S STILL ALIVE" When you play it backwards. We're not making this up.

* Tell them you haven't seen it because it's obviously just a rip off of ''Blair Witch Project'' from the way the camera is filmed.

* Point out that it's only a movie.

* Insist that it's an alien, or not an alien or Cthulu - SOMEONE will get pissed off that you doubt their pet theory.

== External Links==
* {{myspace|jamielascano|Jamie Lascano's MySpace}}
* {{myspace|robbyhawkins|Rob Hawkins}}
* {{myspace|lily_ford|Lily Ford}}
* {{myspace|beth_mcintyre|Beth McIntyre}}
* {{myspace|jj_hawkins|JJ "Jason" "Hawk" Hawkins}}
* {{myspace|marlenadiamond|Marlena Diamond AKA Lena Dia}}
* {{myspace|hudsonplatt|Hudson "Hud" Platt}}
* [http://www.slusho.jp/ Slusho! It's made of alien spunk!]
* http://www.tagruato.jp - [[tacgnol|Tagruato]]
* http://tidowave.com/ - [[longcat|The guys that hate Tagruato]]
* [http://jamieandteddy.com Find Waldo! (Password:jamilovesth)]
* [http://cloverfieldclues.blogspot.com/ A Cloverfag's breeding ground.]
* [http://Cloverfield's_Flaming_Hobo.on.nimp.org/forums Troll the Cloverfielders here.]

{{Movies}}

[[Category:Subcultures]]

List of lolcows

2025-01-24T19:18:35Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

==A==
[[Image:Lolcow Collage.jpg|thumb|right|A herd of lolcows.]]
[[Image:Divineangel_lolcow.jpg|thumb|right|A typical lolcow.]]
[[Image:I R HUNTING LOLCOWS.jpg|thumb|[[unfunny|I Willz Haz cheezburgerz!]]]]
[[Image:Lol-cow-pink.jpg|thumb|150px|right|[[IRL]] lolcow.]]
[[Image:Mega Man Lolcow Stages.png|thumb|right|[[Mega Man|Select your stage]]!]]
*[[Alexander_Jahans]]
*[[User:-abigblueworld-|abigblueworld]]
*[[Addy]]
*[[Ahuviya Harel]]
*AkihitoZero5454
*[[Alex Jones]]
*[[Alexander4488]]
*[[Amuria]]
*[[Anailaigh]]
*[[Angela Beesley]]
*[[Angry Homo Kid]]
*[[AnimatedJames]]
*[[Anita Sarkeesian]]
*[[User:Antandrus|Antandrus]]
*[[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]]
*[[Anthonytoney]]
*[[User:Another_n00b|Another_n00b]]

==B==
*<s>[[Barneyfag]]</s> (Ragequit after posting Tracer feet porn)
*[[Bean]]
*[[The_Great_Livejournal_Content_Strike_of_2008|Beckyzoole]]
*<s>Bill Jensen]]</s> actually a character made by an actor who streams on yt
*[[Bikerfox]]
*Blazikeye535
*<strike>[[BlueCatRiolu]]</strike> (Soft-V& by his family, as the police don't give two shits)
*[[BonziWORLD|Bonzispergs]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[Bronies]]

==C==
*[[CaseOh]]
*[[Chaindix]]
*[[Chasethehedgehog]]
*[[cheese1997]]
*[[Cheeyev]]
*[[Chris Forcand]]
*[[Chris Hansen]]
*[[Chris-chan]]
*[[Clay Claymore]]
*[[Connor Cochran]]
*[[CopperCab]]
*[[Corky]]
*<strike>[[Cyndilovespiccolo]]</strike> (grew up and learned how to act properly)
*[[Cyraxx]]

==D==
*[[Dalavesta]] (''WoW'' Moon Guard's IRL dog-fucker)
*[[Dan Lirette]]
*DarkMatterMan4500 (Zackary Palmer)
*[[DarksydePhil]]
*[[Dellor]]
*[[DestinyMew]]
*[[Digibro]]
*[[Diogo Mendes]]
*[[DivineAngel]]
*[[Doe Deere]]
*[[Dogpatch Press]]
*[[Don Henrie]]
*[[Drago-dracini]]
*[[Dragonmorph]]
*[[Durova]]
*[[DrMusic2]]
*[[Dropdatwat]]
*[[Dwarlinggirlxcore]]

==E==
*[[Bitsytalk|Eeveen]]
*Every single half assed and crappy [[MUGEN]] creator (i.e., Josh Geary, Beanfan112, George Goodlake/Wlanmaniax, [[Weegeeisgoingtokillm]], Daniel9x7gmc, and Jesse Beaudry)
*[[Juan Luis Lagunas Rosales|El Pirata de Culiacán]]
==F==
*[[Fists_The_Echidna]]
*[[User:Fucktard12345|Fucktard/Moonrunes]]
*[[Furries]]
*[[FuturisticHub]]

==G==
*[[GalaxyRailways2199]]
*[[Girlvinyl]]
*[[Globelamp]]
*[[GoddessMillenia]]
*[[Gorgeous George]]
*[[Graykat]]

==H==
*[[Hal Turner]]
*[[Herman]] (''Team Fortress 2'')
*HilnaVunner
*[[Hol Tiger]]
*[[Hozupindahows00s]]

==I==
*[[I Dislike Cis People]]
*[[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]]
*[[InSaNe-REYNARD]] (a.k.a. Straitfox)
*[[Inmendham]]
*[[Intellectual Checkmate]]
*[https://youtube.com/channel/UCLdBqpXgnKG_BlW8kYY-dyQ| Iván Hermana González]

==J==
*[[Jared Milton]]
*[https://youtube.com/channel/UC6fHtdcHO5z-D8KLQQMPA3Q Jaxsterminator] ([[Spic|Iván Hermana González’s]] buttbuddy and whiteknight.)
*[[Jerry Peet]]
*[[Jesse H]]
*[[Jesse Slaughter]]
*[[jfreedan|Carey Ray Martell (Jfreedan)]]
*[[Jihadunspun.com]]
*[[Jolene JRyda]]
*[[Josephthelover]]
*[[Juggalo|ICP fans]]
*[[JustinRPG]]
*[[Justin Bieber]]

==K==
*[[Kimmo Alm]]
*[[Krimpet]]
*[[Kumichoo]]
*[[Keegan Salisbury]]

==L==
*[[Liart66]] (Sarah Lester)
*[[LifeInATent]]
*[[Lillee Jean]]
*[[Littlefag]]
*[[Lizziey]]
*[[Lord Foxworth]]
*[[Lord Rexington Fear]]
*[[Lowti3rgod]]
*[[Luigispiritkeeper08]]
*[[Luvmonkeys]]

==M==
*[[Maddox]]
*[[Mangs]]
*[[MarioMario456]]
*[[Mariotehplumber]]
*[[Matrooko11]]
*[[MeganSpeaks]] (a.k.a. MeganLeeHeart/Chrissie "The Megan" Barmore)
*[[Meta527II]]
*[[Mikemikev]] (nazifag lta from ed, wikipedia, and metapedia)
*[[Mike Matei]]
*[[MissLaVey]]
*[[Misterpoet]]
*[[MONGO]]
*[[Montagraph]]
*[[Mr.A.T.AndreiThomas]]
*[[MundaneMatt]]
*[[MylarBalloonFan]]
*[[MolecularMageXD]]
*[[Mista Reviews]] (a.k.a. El Tío Mista)

==N==
*[[Nate Spidgewood]]
*[[nathanr]]
*[[Neo-classic-neko]]
*[[NephilimFree]]
*<strike>[[Nick Bate]]</strike> ([https://lancasteronline.com/news/local/columbia-man-charged-with-child-sex-crimes-from/article_6271ef4c-ef51-11e4-809c-43863c820729.html FINALLY in prison])
*[[Nick Bravo|Nick "Corky" Bravo""]]
*[[Nihilistic Snake]]
*[[Best Korea|North Korea]]

==O==
*[[BFDI|Objectfags]]
*[[Onigojirakaiju]] (an unmilked lolcow with a reptile fetish)

==P==
*<s>[[ParkourDude91]]</s> (he's a troll)
*[[Paris Hilton]]
*[[EDF6|Pedro Garcia/walter_spencer_1488]]
*[[PissedOffVideoGamer|The Pissed Off Video Gamer]]
*[[Pixelbee]]
*[[Plotahedron9]]
*[[Prince Jeremy]]
*[[Professor Kuhtoons]] ([[Lolwut|both a lolcow and a troll]])
*[[Peluchin Entertainment]] - before the cat disaster, it was a lolcow the drama between super wario man and ken.

==Q==
*[[Quinton Reviews]]

==R==
*[[Rachel Corrie]]
*Raidarr
*[[Randomlaughingman]]
*[[Realmrsoptimusprime]]
*[[EDF6|Retarded_FAG]]
*[[ReviewTechUSA]]
*R0b3ka789
*[[Robert Tracey]]
*[[Robert Wayne Stiles]]
*RuffnRoboticGiusep
*[[Russell Greer]]

==S==
*[[sapphydracases]]
*[[SammyClassicSonicFan]]
*[[Sargon of Akkad]]
*[[Sceptre]]
*[[Schnookums]]
*[[Sebastien Levesque]]
*[[Selene]]
*[[SephirothPrincess941]]
*[[Shoe0nHead]]
*[[Snapesnogger]]
*[[SnackyCakes2008]]
*[[SokiTwopaw]]
*[[VidLii|Spiderfan]]
*[[Starkiller88]]
*<strike>[[Super Minecraft Kid]]</strike> (fake persona played by a troll all along)

==T==
*[[Takedownman]]
*[[Tariq Nasheed]]
*[[Tawneelynne]]
*[[Teruchan]]
*<strike>[[TempleOS|Terry]] [https://www.256kilobytes.com/content/show/1939/biography-of-terry-a-davis-the-greatest-programmer-to-ever-live "That Dog is Getting Raped"] [[TempleOS|Davis]]</strike> ([[an hero]])
*[[TheAmazingAtheist]]
*The [[LifeInATent|Martin]] [[WeatherManKevin|Twins]]
*[[TheMysteriousMrEnter]]
*[[The rEactor]]
*[[The Unknown Autobot]]
*[[Thor]]
*[[Thunderf00t]]
*[[Timbox]]
*[[Toby J Rathjen]]
*[[Tom Cruise]]
*[[Tom Preston]]
*Toppy

==U==
*[[Ulillillia]]
*[[UltimateUKFFFan]]
*[[Universal]]
*[[Ursweety]]

==V==
*[[Vailskibum94]]
*[[VideoGamePhenom]]
*[[Video Game Reviewers|Video game reviewers]]
*[[User:Viril.Feline.Wyzzrd|Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd]]
*[[Vonhelton]]

==W==
*[[Willg8686]]
*[[WingsofRedemption]]

==X==
*[[Xavia]]

==Y==
*[[YandereDev]]
*[[You]]

==Z==
*[[Zac Bertschy]]
*[[Zaiger]]
*[[Zoe Quinn]]

{{lolcows}}

User talk:DinkDummy

2025-01-24T19:17:12Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

Don't make new pages stick to the user pageHellenicTrapstar [[File:InterventionRekt.png|60px|link=User talk:HellenicTrapstar]] 22:21, 31 August 2024 (UTC)

== oye ==

aprende a hablar inglés mejor antes de escribir nuevos artículos, caribeño inmundo {{Unsigned|Andrés Berríos Bravo}}

== Sign your posts ==

The proper way to sign your talk page posts is by typing the tildes symbol '''~''' four times at the end of your message.

Example:

<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>

--'''[[User:Psychotic_Dictatorship|Yours truly, Psychotic Dictatorship]]''' ([[User talk:Psychotic_Dictatorship|talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/Psychotic_Dictatorship|contribs]]) 16:48, 15 December 2024 (UTC)

== Milked cows ==
Good of you to tag the outdated cows pages like [[DisneyFan01]]. I've taken the liberty of adding it to [[Intellectual Checkmate]], as well. [[User:BoyyyFromAlaska|BoyyyFromAlaska]] ([[User talk:BoyyyFromAlaska|talk]]) 19:17, 24 January 2025 (UTC)

Intellectual Checkmate

2025-01-24T19:12:21Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Tagging as a milked cow. This guy hasn't been relevant since 2008.

{{cleanup}}
{{Milkedcow|Goronchev}}
[[Image:AgoronchekVandal.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Moronchev.jpg|thumb|Goronchev, pitifully declaring war against the [[Internet Hate Machine]].]]
[[Image:Gay gon.jpg|thumb|Ladies and gentlemen, meet the [[lol|Sexiest Man in the World]]!]]
[[Image:Check mate.jpg|thumb|Moar liek Intellectually Challenged amirite]]
'''Goronchev''' (AKA Smugfag, MrThreePercent, Ron Lamp, Andy Ross and "Ass Lamp") is a 30-something, balding, closeted [[homosexual]] born in 17 Oct(March 12?), as a cancer survivor without testicles who plays Quasimodo in [[basement-dweller|his parents' basement]] in [[Hollywood]], [[California|CA]] who spends his life combating [[DOX|doc_droppers]] because he is so [[9/11|brave]]. Having lived in his basement his whole life with a lonely, beautiful and ultimately pure terabyte of [[child pornography]] to [[Fap|be his friend]], Goronchev realized that the only way [[TsimFuckis|someone like him]] could survive would be to post [[TL;DW]] videos of himself [[Attention whore|flexing his steroid-induced muscles]] and rubbing his asshole, while pretending to have knowledge of very [[intellectual]] topics such as [[Shit nobody cares about|religion, sex and video games]]. When not posing as the illegitimate, cancer-ridden son of Penn Jillete, he can often be found lurking on sites like [[Stickam]], attempting to bait [[16-year-old girls]] with minimal understanding of the English language and green cards into checking out his [[Bullshit|"above average"]] penis.

[[Some argue|Some would argue]] that he is not only a [[Slavery|keen mind of the West]], but the greatest [[troll]] known to Anon. That is assuming, of course, if "some" constituted an [[Watchmen|abattoir of retarded children]], who also believe the nuts in their shit has the [[Do i have potential|potential]] for homemade Nutella. Take heed, however, as combating this individual online will surely lead to one's demise! Well, at least it might lead to slight embarassment in his erotic chat party, if he's the only one talking. If that hurdle is crossed, then he will just resort to being the ultimate badass by contacting your parents, asking them to tell you to stop. If that doesn't work, then he will use his [[DotA|ultimate]] by contacting your local news media, hoping that "arguing with someone on the internet" is a hideous federal offense in your country.

{{Quote|My penis is so big it reaches from A - Z on the keyboard!|Goronchev, literally stating his penis is about ONE CENTIMETER LONG}}

==The Saga==
===Smugfag Begins===
[[Image:SeriousCat oscar wilde.jpeg|left|thumb|[[Serious Cat]] detects [[serious business]]]]
[[Image:Virtual bitchslap.jpg|thumb|Smugfag is smuuuuuuuuuuug.]]
Goronchev appeared on [[4chan]] in June of 2007 when a video of him was posted on [[B|/b/]] in which he claimed victory over the "misc. section". Paranoid [[Newfag|baby Anonymous]] ceased fapping to [[lolicon]] long enough to gangrape his [[YouTube]] with negative feedback and video responses, all while noisily banging their keyboards to produce spam comments (Consisting of [[DESU|DESU DESU DESU]] in natural /b/tard fashion). As things turned out, he was actually attacking the Misc. section at bodybuilding.com. Goronchev's attack on the Misc. section described his "intellectual checkmate" of Misc. by, as he put it, "using them like a condom." /b/ was slow to realize that they were not his target and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpSQmfBhUAg initially believed this was an insult], albeit a hilariously inept one. Even after the mistake was discovered, the attacks continued as his smugness made him an instant hit with /b/tards, who enjoyed making fun of his balding head, Minnie Mouse voice, and ridiculous claims about his [[Lie|sex life]] and intellectual prowess.

Trolls and rubberneckers at the time were delighted over Goronchev's [[Narcissism|obsession with his body]]. Of course, Goronchev was so concerned about maintaining his 3% body fat that he completely forgot about his round, balding head. Goronchev continued to feed the flames by claiming that his penis was [[LOL|almost nine inches long]] but not showing it off to prove his point. To this day Goronchev continues to make spurious claims about his member, though it is obvious to anyone with half a brain that this man is more full of shit than [[Tubgirl]].
[[Image:Retractedmicrowang.jpg|thumb|Actual photo of Goronchev's penis.]]
A [[YouTube]] user named Kbob08 used to plague Goronchev with video responses. Almost all of Kbob's videos were video responses to [[Faggot|Goronchev]] with the exception of his very first video which was just a [[retarded]] loogie of [[fail]] where he showed his bad taste in [[games]]. One day, feeling daring, Kbob decided to [[flame]] Goronchev using a video response. This prompted Goronchev to [[man the harpoons]] and end their relationship. Goronchev thoroughly "skewered and exposed" Kbob in a [[LOL WUT|video response to a video response for his video]]. Kbob deleted all Goronchev-related videos when TwinsanityNtranced was bashing on Kbob about being an attention leech. This victory by Goronchev only served to increase his already inflated ego and [[HUEG]] sense of [[unwarranted self-importance]]. He hired a [[Prostitute|publicist]], contacted Faux News, telling them that a new sensation was in town, who was sure to be just as funny as Jay Leno and started referring to his YouTube account as a television show.

===Operation: Intellectual Checkmate===
After a few months of inactivity, he returned in October of 2007. With a titanic ego and infinitesimal dick, he shed a tear of shame and admiration when he read this page. He then gathered himself together, mustered [[Cum|courage]] into his [[Cock|veins]] and declared war upon ED, posting a video in which he later admitted [[My mom just died|his mother is dead]]. "This was most likely suicide caused by the realization that she had given birth to such a grotesque creature instead of letting the doctor [[falcon punch]] her when he revealed that the baby might have a hazardous amount of smug cells," Dr. Anonymous states.

In a truly pathetic testament, Goronchev felt that his domination over ED was the greatest rape he was involved with since that one special time his dad needed help in the basement. For thirteen minutes, Goronchev read quotes from various ED articles that he felt were racist towards black people- as if this were something new. Going down the list of facts about him, he denied the claims to a minimal extent by adjusting minute details that he felt made the claims invalid. Of these claims, the one that he helt most offended by was that he attended a community college in Northern California, as he had never attended college and he never made it farther North than his dad's penis. Wow, by overestimating him for a worthless achievement, we really lost all credibility.

<center><youtube>qq01I8UzaHE</youtube></center>
{{Quote|They had no idea I was that good at shit-talking live, in-the-moment|Goronchev has mad skills.}}

Some interesting tidbits from this video include:

*Goronchev has the ability to read [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].
*The only thing smaller than a Jew's penis is a negro's "To Do" list.
*[[Jews did WTC]].
*Someone whose primary source of income is performing menial chores around the house has time too [[Bullshit|precious to waste on ED]].
*Even the intellectually superior can sometimes miss the point.
*His head resembles a 6 foot penis.
*Goronchev made ED even funnier.
[[TL;DR]]: Smugfag needs to learn [[English]], [[satire]], and the basics of a [[wiki]].

We responded by putting on a rubber glove and with a flick of our dick, Goronchev was suspended. He grew up in a suburban neighborhood, though, so he was tough like Mitt Romney and returned as MrThreePercent, (in honor of his penis size, which is [[At least 100|97%]] smaller than average). He began to make [[moar]] videos about the imaginary groups of [[In beta|beautiful]] "women" taking trans-continental road trips to rendezvous with his flesh balloon. Shortly afterwards, Goronchev disappeared from the internet and his account, "MrThreePercent," was suspended due to [[copyright infringement]].

At this time, Smugfag's favorite phrase, "Intellectual Checkmate" became a [[meme|mini-meme]] on /b/. Assuming that "Intellectual Checkmate" means something along the lines of using your wit during a debate to back your opponent into a corner from which they cannot retaliate, he does just the opposite by backing himself into a corner from which he cannot escape, so he disables comments on his videos in the hope that he will never actually have to debate with anyone. His logic would be [[Codey Porter|air tight]], were it not for the inconvenience that other humans happen to have the ability to respond.

When every other video site doesn't work out for you and your support and views have dwindled to nothing, what do you do? That's right! [[You]] make your ''very own'' website! Actually, you have a friend make your very own website. Actually, you have your friend make a channel for your very own website. Actually, you have your friend create a channel with your name on it for a corporate website and call it yours. FUCK YES! And when Brett Keane's channel goes down because the science he doesn't quite have the knowledge for didn't do the work for him, you make like Abraham Lincoln and [[Epic Fail|you try again]].

===The Final Goodbye===
After claiming in his last ED video that he wasn't going to make a new video on ED because they are not worth his time, he suffered the consequences of a mammy naively trying to sustain a diet and gave into the temptation with a seven minute video absolutely DESTROYING ED once again. He knows he's got top game, since he doesn't have any psychological disorders that his <s>mother</s> (lol dead), dad has let on about. To celebrate himself, he went to a print shop with his lucky baseball cap and asked the Mexican behind the counter if he could take a stupid pseudonym like "Goronchev" and make it look cool. The Mexican winked at him and put in red italics the coolest thing- the name of his YouTube account.

Goronchev, having been beaten into oblivion, saw his bleeding as a sure sign of triumph and marched away from YouTube, with his head held high and his thumb up his anus. The only contact he had with us was when Encyclopedia Dramatica was [[baleeted]] in mid-2011, he praised the vile actions of [[Girlvinyl|Sherrod DeHippo]] and her horrid third trimester abortion of a website [[Ohinternet]]. It seems he was hoping that this article would be gone forever. However, he failed to realize that on the internet, nothing ever goes away.

Today, Goronchev continues to make videos of himself flexing his sphincter in his father's basement while talking shit about people in chat rooms with his only friends... which he's never met face-to-face. Though he says he no longer bothers with h8ers like Anonymous and Encyclopedia Dramatica, whenever a [[troll]] shows up at his doorstep he takes time out of his day to make fun of them by writing up a [[TL;DR]] "exposé" on his "victim." This generally revolves around teasing somebody for being of a different race, or else emailing their parents, asking them to stop. He has even gone as far as [http://goronchev.blogspot.com/2010/07/k-thor-jensen-plagiarist-hack-writer.html making fun of a comedy writer by posting pictures of his kids and calling them "deformed,"] thus cementing Smugfag's status as an petulant, balding manbaby douchebag.

Smugfag met his nemesis in Benos, another stay-at-home manbaby with terminal Asperger's. Yes, the person he marked as his equal is, quite appropriately, somebody who can't even function in a social setting. When most others are busy raising families and living responsible, independent lives, Goronchev focuses upon challenging autistic live-with-parent men online, to prove that he is the best Goronchev in a world of Goronchevs. As the story goes, Benos couldn't stand Goronchev from the moment he laid eyes on him and felt the greatest frustration since the time that one kid with cerebral palsy spilled his juice box. So, Goronchev the Cancer Survivor put his lucky red cap on, while Benos the Aspie-Lord put on his goggles and the two fought a war of calling the other one the bigger idiot, neither realizing at any point in the debacle that [[Truth|they are both massive retards]]. Goronchev, knowing that the most-fulfilling [[victory|game]] involves desperate measures, contacted Benos' dad and cried about how much Benos had hurt his feelings. When Benos' dad told his son to behave to no avail, Goronchev did what any mature adult would do and contacted [[Fox_News|Australian news media]], which of course is a lie. Or anyone willing to be goronchev's slave because the lazy faggot couldn't do it himself , and [[X is not your personal army]]. Obviously Goronchev believes he wants people call up Benos' dad, which will fail, because no one really cares. Smugfag also called Benos an [[racist|Australian Arab]] on video because he doesn't understand people's accents or race, and everything went quiet for awhile, but overall, Goronchev remains a cunt. The irony of it all: [[faggot|he watched and recorded an entire video of a man jacking off]], without realizing watching a solo jack off session is [[gay]].

==[[not gay|Not Gay]]==
[[Image:Smugdyke mtf.jpg|thumb|His <strike>girl</strike>boyfriend.]]
[[Image:Mated.jpg|thumb|Totally . . .]]

Goronchev is very, ''very'' insecure about his sexuality. Goronchev is [[Denial|so adamant about his supposed heterosexuality]] that he often pulls wild and "true" sex stories out of his asshole to make himself sound straight. In most cases, the sex stories are so generic that it is very obvious they were ripped straight from a [[porn]] scene. In other cases, the stories are so vague that all instances of "she" and "her" can easily be replaced with "he" and "him" and it wouldn't make a difference.

{{Quote|[[Lies|I LOVE '''VAGINA & BREASTS]]''', and I'm straighter than a laser ([[Unwarranted Self-Importance|Hopefully, that will reduce the number of gay perverts after me]])|Methinks Goronchev doth protest too much}}

Smugfag apparently has a [[girlfriend]], and states that according to HOTorNOT, she is a perfect ten.

On February 27th, 2008 at approximately 10:15 PM EST, Goronchev was spotted in the CAM or GTFO chatroom of Stickam.com. At this time, he openly made a challenge towards a female member concerning his superiority over females in giving oral stimulation of the penis. This proved to be a landmark achievement in Goronchev's quest in proving that he is not gay.
{{quote|My dick is actually just long enough for me to get my tongue on it without too much effort|Smugfag, remarking on his favorite activity.}}

Also note that one of his favorite music stars is [[Gwen Stefani]], a homewrecking gutter slut and common love of all [[gay|straight]] white males across the globe.

==Smugfacts==
[[Image:SITEZ.png|thumb|Uhhh...wow...yeah...]]
*Fitter than the entire US Marine Corps.
*[[Bukkake|Beat up thirty guys at the same time]].
*Obtained offers of [[prostitute|employment]] from YouTube
*Intellectually checkmated ED.
*Had sex... like, more than once.
*Possesses a "larger than average penis". Seriously.
*Had repugnant sex with BigGayAl, his #1 internet-lover.
*Had a [[girlfriend]] instead of his hand, rumors still persist this is his [[faghag]]. [http://archive.fo/JrTWm]
*Transmogrified into [[Picard|Mr. Clean]] with steroid enhanced features [http://www.stickam.com/viewMedia.do?mId=191388327]
*Metaphorically provided homosexuals with a dicking so deep that he was able to hook ''their'' cocks and draw them out through their annihilated rectums before then lovingly holding them aloft and licking off the cum. *See far top of his Blogspot for a normal version*
*Watched a man fap on cam [[LOL WUT|to prove he isn't gay]].
*Cheated on a girl named Lesli after he slept with another [[trap|girl]] to prove he's less of an [[asshole]] and in denial about facts like a true faggot on the [[internets]] but proved nothing in a video he made about [[retard|Benos]] when backing up [[lol|evidence]].
*Goronchev with his best American accent, pronounces [[Aspergers]] as [[Stupid|Oss-pergers]] making Benos look less retarded.
*Was on K Thor Jensen's internet losers of the week [http://archive.fo/jIpmJ]

== Myths About Goronchev ==

'''Myth: "Goronchev doesn't work for his parents"'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev does, in fact, live in his father's basement. He and his father often videotape themselves having incestuous relations, with Goronchev taking his father's creamy load in his ass and then playing the rusty trombone.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev has had sex with many women."'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev is too infected with teh gay to be attracted to vagina. He has tried, however, to have sex with men, though most gay men are smart enough to stay away.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is not a pedophile."'''

'''FALSE.''' We have the pictures, videos, and eye witness testimonies to prove it. Click [http://goronchev.on.nimp.org/ here] to see it.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is as healthy as a horse."'''

'''FALSE.''' It is a widely-known fact that Goronchev has superAIDS, and will likely die in a matter of months.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev's penis is 8 and 3/4 inches long."'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev said himself that his penis reaches from A to Z on a QWERTY keyboard, meaning his penis is approximately one centimeter long.

 

'''Myth: [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|"Goronchev cares about black people"]] '''

'''FALSE,''' as proven by the below quote by Goronchev himself:

{{squote|A half ape, half human creature devolved from chimpanzees, who eats fried chicken, watermelon, and collared greens, write songs about raping white woman and stealing welfare checks from grandmothers...Niggers are lazy, dumb, and worst of all smell after taking a shower...Jews are a subhuman species...Jews did the World Trade Center attacks...I have no penis|Smugfag}}

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev can fight two guys at once."'''

'''SOMEWHAT TRUE,''' assuming that "fighting" means "double anal secksing."

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is a compulsive liar.'''"

'''TRUE.''' One look at his actions and facial expressions in his videos and you can easily tell that he is lying out of his ass.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is cool."'''

'''HAHAHAHAHAHA NO'''

 

'''Myth: "People watch his videos."'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev is the only one who takes himself seriously, and thus he thinks people actually like him and watch his videos.

==Psychological Analysis==

The following is a detailed psychological analysis by acclaimed e-psychologist Dr. David Anonymous, PhD:

{{squote|From an entirely psychological standpoint, all of his arguments just go to show how intellectually and physically inferior he feels to other people, as demonstrated by his need to go out of his way to try to outperform the "best" he can find at everything.

"I want to feel good about my body. Who is the strongest guy I can outperform?"
USMC Recruits.

"I didn't say I could outperform the entire USMC. I just went to the USMC recruiting station and did 26 pull-ups; more than any of them could do." Not that he had any intention of actually *joining* the USMC, just needed to reassure himself that he was physically superior than everyone around him. As a note... Recruits? "Recruit" is military terminology for "a civilian who will soon be joining the military." I.E. He beat a bunch of guys straight off the street, who had not been to Boot Camp yet. They were likely fresh out of HS.

To address his need to defend his phallic aptitudes: when you defend your PENIS by citing a statistic, it just shows how insecure you are about it. Yes, every guy gets insecure about how long or thick his PENIS is at least once. Totally normal. But to say, "My PENIS is ABOVE average" is just stating that either:

1. I believe everything my girlfriend says to me. 
2. I looked up average PENIS size on the internet and compared mine to it. 
3. I stood in the men's restroom and checked out people's dicks.

I admit to doing #2- mostly because I know you can't place much faith in #1, and #3 will get you beaten up. If 4.25" is 'average', then 'above average' is anything above 4.25. Even 4.26. Whoopty-fucking-doo. Congratulations, smugfag.

Furthermore, his need to go out of his way to put everyone he meets into "intellectual checkmate" just further demonstrates his intellectual inferiority complex.|Dr. David Anonymous, PhD}}

==Smugfag and the [[Old Media]]==
[[Image:Smugcapmaybe.JPG|thumb|IRREFUTABLE PROOF...more or less...that Goronchev WAS ALREADY A FAUX NEWS DARLING]]
Goronchev made an appearance on [[Faux News]] to [[Leave me alone|discuss]] [[Megan Meier|cyber-bullying]] and [[Anonymous]]. He is now an "[[liar|expert]]" on cyberbullying. Smugfag gets about 9 seconds worth of face-time. He earlier promoted his television premiere on his [[Jewtube]] and suggested that [[unwarranted self importance|perhaps the Fox people would post the rest of his interview on the website]].

Just remember, kids: [[bulling is rabbit]] on the internets.

In one of his videos bragging about this [[fag|incredible feat]], he claims that he was "chosen" do an interview, despite the fact that Fox asks people to call in to be screened for these interviews.

<center><youtube>PNfVhoKVx7Q</youtube></center>
{{Quote|These people are extremely organized...|Goronchev, referring to this page written by a 16-year-old on the shitter.}}

Though this appears to be Smugfag's first news appearance, it might be possible that he has appeared on Fox before. You be the judge:

1) Watch the smash-hit of summer 2007, "Anon vs. Faux News" again [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNO6G4ApJQY]

2) Pay particular attention to the [[fag|leet haXXor]] in silhouette at 1:45, 1:57 ("they get what they call 'lulz'...") and 3:02

3) NOTICE BASEBALL CAP AND COLLARED SHIRT - official uniform of the International Association of Smugfags, as shown in his armada of motherfucking YouTube videos.

4)<s> Watch the 2008 cult classic "Brett Keane interviews Goronchev" (only the first 30 seconds, it's a fucking epic a la Battlefield Earth otherwise) [http://youtube.com/watch?v=WAVMmfPo_NM]</s> baleeted

5) Note this delicious nugget of dialogue:

*'''SMUGFAG:''' Rupert Murdoch is all over this sweet, young, tight ass, yes indeed.
*'''BURGER KEANE:''' So what exactly is the Fox News going to be doing with you, bro?
*'''SMUGFAG:''' Yeah, well here's the deal: '''we already did a thing'''. You may not know this, but...

In conclusion - it's him. Amirite or amirite?

== Videos ==

<center>{{fv|meenvids1|background-color: lightgray;|font-weight: bold;

|<youtube>2jRlcqn7M74</youtube>
Goronchev is Moar Racist.
|<youtube>cSGJo3CFLKQ</youtube>
He is bothered by hypocrisy while at the same time practicing it; he has only one option, BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE. Goronchev haet hypocrisy even moar:
|<youtube>-1595TOu_So</youtube>
He's a sicko. 
|<youtube>qOb8cyE4a0A</youtube>
Smugfag returns for more hate and trolling on [[youtube|internet peoples]]; doesn't realize,
he's being [[rape|used like the condom himself]], so other users can get more [[popular|whoring]],
please thank goronchev for his [[Boring|TL;DR]] videos
|<youtube>kWSP5TVBIQI</youtube>
Smugfag critical of anti scifag [[hate]](Commentary)
|<youtube>6-AzSCCJR_s</youtube>
Chris Crocker talks to smugfag on the phone.
|<youtube>sE0YNmgGnf4</youtube>
Smugfag tries to prove he's got a high [[IQ]] in [[no|intelligence]], but prank calls like he's an
[[13_year_old_boy]]
|<youtube>zG9xn1TLLQ8</youtube>
The [[irony]] of this video is that he wacked off to porn(though faked), but tried to expose
benos for jerking off on cam.
|<youtube>qRg7dZMNwbU</youtube>
Major butthurt when Goronchev gets flagged on youtube.
Goronchev is interviewed by The Burger Keane
|<youtube>a5qAJtZaacc</youtube>
LOL
}}



</center>

== Gallery ==

{{cg|Gallery of Intellect|intelgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:ICchess.jpg|Intellectual Checkmate is now a meme.
Image:Gaysha.JPG|
Image:Gaysha2.JPG|HOLY SHIT! IT IS!
Image:360goronchevclose2.jpg|[[360 kid|The great thing about Intellectual Checkmate isn't destroying ED, it's showing everyone on YouTube that I did.]]
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Goronchev.jpg|@Smugfag...[[INTERNET HATE MACHINE|you have our attention.]]
Image:YES!POPULAR!.jpg|SNIGGITY SNAP
Image:Goronchev.png|
Image:Bald.png|Fgt is losing his hair lol.
Image:Combover.jpg|[[bald|FOLLICLY CHECKMATED!]]
Image:Smugness.jpg|[[Otaku|Dressed like a geisha]] (Moar liek GAY-sha, [[amirite|amirite]]?)
Image:34 on smugfag.jpg|[[34]] on Smugfag
Image:goronchev_victim.jpg|[[Victim complex|VICTIM]]
Image:SmugfagGF.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5GLbkKEzT8 Smugdyke], Smugfag's [http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=SMHRRUK&key=JWV 10/10] MTF "girlfriend"
Image:Smugfag4.jpg|Smugfag: Uses people like a condom.
Image:GoronchevsDick.jpg|[http://goronchev.blogspot.com/2008/01/common-myths-about-me-on-internet-damn.html Goronchev using a dildo to fool people to believing his dick is hueg].
Image:Goronchev straighter than lazer.PNG|Yeah...
Image:Supergay.jpg|Supergay!
Image:Intellectual Faggot.jpg|The losing black piece fits him so well.
Image:SmugfagA ZSCALE.JPG|Hitting on the ladies again with your A-Z scale huh?
Image:Dawguxp5.jpg|Photofunia's version of [[Fail|Smuggod]].
Image:itresembles.jpg|RESEMBLANCE.
Image:Smugfag_adopted.jpg|
Image:Goronchev_wetdream.jpg|Sharing a dream
Image:Smugfag_Claming_Fake_Superority_all_over_again.jpg|Making shitty claims
Image:Smugsleepy.jpg|...Yep, he's straight.
Image:Goronchev BBQ.png|Not shooped.
Image:Weaponsofmasssteroids.jpg|Balding Steroid Abuser ready for action.
Image:Picture_goronchevsuspsended.png|Jewtube finally got the message to him.
Image:Smugfag_douche.JPG|Uses an ear syringe to douche [[santorum]] from his [[micropenis]].
Image:Acatisfinetoogoronchev.jpg|Following the footsteps of [[Kenny Glenn]] his national [[an hero]]. [[A_cat_is_fine_too]]
Image:Goronchev-faggot-demotivational-poster-1211030195.jpg|
Image:Goronchevbaw.png|Smugfag crying over a bodybuilding member trollin him over his dead mum. thread for extra [[lulz]]: old bodybuilding.com site http://tinyurl.com/7mvh8ed link dead
Image:Goronchev_drugs.jpg| What he does before making videos.
Image:Goronchevgayblackguy.png| Being hit on by gay [[black_people|niggers]]. Maybe goronchev wants black people to have some [[cum|vanilla]] after all.
Image:27911556.jpg| Keanu is always right.
Image:Mr3bitchslap-1.jpg| Goronchev has a dirty fetish.
Image:Anewchallengerappears.png| The ultimate [[retard]] battle has begun!
File:Goronchev1.jpg
File:Intellectual Checkmate 3.png
File:360goronchev.jpg
File:Speshul.jpg
File:Durrrr.JPG
File:Smugfag.JPG
File:360goronchevclose.jpg
File:Goronchev lulz.JPG
File:Intellectual Checkmate 2.jpg
File:Intellectual Checkmate.jpg
File: GoronchevracistruinedUntitled.png
</gallery>|0}}

== External Links ==
*[https://archive.ph/juAz Goronchev hater group]
*[https://discord.com/channels/607393960301821965/607821077711683584 Discord]
*[https://www.tiktok.com/@themrbomb When it could be worse while acting smug, he joins this shit site where everyone acts like faggots on camera]
*[https://spacehey.com/profile?id=72575 A account no really would care about anyway]
*[https://www.facebook.com/BrawnyRonnie His new facebook to hide from himself again where he flexes his gay body] [https://www.youtube.com/BrawnyRonnie Youtube new Main same old shit:BrawnyRonnie]
[https://www.facebook.com/people/La-Bomb/100000509592396 His facebook is hidden or baleeted due to the exposing of benos revealing facebook chats that goronchev had with his dad]
*<s>[http://brettkeanevideo.com/view_channel.php?user=GhostGoronchev</s> He now resides in brett keane's rectum] Beat up a guy yet not proven to be [[anonymous]] IRL, but only a lie to think he's bigger then [[4chan]] [[Truth|We know he runs scared if someone pulled a knife at him, he's too busy trying to pwn a possible furry named benos on the interweb that no one really cares about]]</s> '''DEAD'''
*[http://twitter.com/goronchev Goronchev's Twatter] [[twitter|twatter]] that he updates for his stickam and other bullshit. He recently tried to [[butthurt|protect his tweets]], because of benos trolling his ass, yet, [[realistic_expectations|they can be still found by searching his name on the website]].
*[http://tinychat.com/goronchev/ Tell how much you love his tiny penis], beware; this is all lies, as he has none.
*[http://www.myspace.com/goronchev Smugfag's MySpace]
*<s>[http://www.myspace.com/ronlamp Smugfag's OTHER MySpayce]</s> Lol private
*[http://tinychat.com/mrsexbomb Goronchev's Tinycock] After [[Stickam]] decided to [[an_hero]], smugfag had to relocate to a smaller [[tinychat|dick]].
*<s>[http://www.stickam.com/profile/goronchev Smugfag's Stickam]</s> Stickam pwned themselves, now goronchev has to rebuild his e-peen once again.
*<s>[http://www.stickam.com/profile/thezone Smugfag's OTHER Stickam made to hide from anon]</s> Same as above
*<s>[http://www.stickam.com/profile/goronchev_live Smugfag's 3rd Stickam profile made to hide from himself]</s> No more dickam!
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/goronchev Smugfag's YouTube]</s> '''SUSPENDED. FOR THE LULZ. Finally.'''
*<s>[http://youtube.com/user/MrThreePercent Smugfag's OTHER YouTube]</s> Lol suspended
*<s>[http://youtube.com/user/smugfagg Spoof YouTube created by a /b/tard]</s> Suspended
*<s>[http://www.livevideo.com/Goronchev Smugfag's LiveVideo]</s> Dead
*<s>[http://yourvision.magnify.net/ yourvision.magnify.net his failed video site]</s> Failed site dead.
*[http://goronchev.blogspot.com/ Gayspot] [[LOL]] [[Butthurt|Invite only]] because benos' been taking down his failed videos.
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzvkWNy3OzQ][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-KVtA3lJp8][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ-OS9lQ7OI] Smugfag declaring war on various chans</s> ZOMG Private? How are we going to stroke your e-peen now???
*[http://www.myfoxla.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=4D800A279B3CEAD006A31E0876588922?contentId=5647826&version=4&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1 Smugfag on FOX11 NEWS] He calls himself a [[Lulz|'victim']].
*[http://youtube.com/SubVLPer Another possible socket account with stickam chats. Though, he cannot stick to many accounts already, that faggot]
*http://gorenchev.blogspot.com A satirical blog created by Benos
*[https://www.facebook.com/pages/Goronchev-the-worst-vlogger-who-ever-lived/310607445617221 An anti-Goronchev Facebook group. Join for the lulz!]
*[https://www.youtube.com/user/LaRoathTheGoat Iliketofuckgoats ] Possible socket account with many of goronchev's old vids, just trying to be your [[lame|average]], everyday, [[white_people|white]] guy.
See lulzy background with a obsession with the goronchev and benos drama that still wages on once and awhile.
*[http://www.pornolize.com/translate/?lang=en&url=https://encyclopediadramatica.online/Goronchev Goronchev Pornolized] If you want to see how gay goronchev can get while pornolized.
*<s>[http://facepunch.com/member.php?u=144999 Facepunch account ] Possible account on facepunch/or hoping to troll his number 1 fan Benos by stalking him. There is proof of that in his [[fail|exposing]] video.</s> DEAD

== See Also ==
*[[TheSockDetective]]
*[[MrFetch]]
*[[Unwarranted self-importance]]
*[[Internet tough guy]]
*[[Not Gay]]
*[[Lolcow]]
*[[Asking for it]] (is saying too little)
*[[GreenTeaGirlie]]
*[[Ugly]]
*[[Pedophile]]
*[[Failure]]
*[[Idiot]]
*[[Derek Smart]]

{{Takedown}}
{{ytseries}}
{{chans}}

{{Timeline|Featured article December 14, [[2007]]|[[Penis Nosed Fox]]|Intellectual Checkmate|[[Robert Hawkins]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal_Psych]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Chans]]
[[Category:2007]]

Russell Greer

2025-01-17T15:28:30Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* I'll Sue! */ Re-ordered this, as Taylor Swift came before Ariana Grande and merged the two Grande sections together.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Taylor Swift===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor18.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

{{cg|Never give up!|doubledown|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_4.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_6.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_8.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_9.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_12.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

{{cg|If it amuses the court...|misrepresentations|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_2.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_4.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_EVIDENCES_7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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===Kiwi Farms ===
Coming soon...

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
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Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:11 - Always Tay.jpg|Russell blames Barnard's suicide on Taylor Swift.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:12 - Why she did it.jpg|Barnard's friends try to figure out the connection.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Then they try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:13 - Bailee's BFF.jpg|Her best friend intervenes.
Image:14 - Stahp Mckena.jpg|He tells her best friend she is wrong.
Image:15 - Russell's Fault.jpg|Russell is shown logic.
Image:16 - Bad Mckena.jpg|Russell honors Barnard's memory by attacking her best friend.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 2.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 3.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 4.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 6.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 7.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 8.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 9.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 10.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 11.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 12.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 13.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 14.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 15.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 16.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 17.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 18.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_3.jpg
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Image:Russell_Greer-General_5.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_2.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddit|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddit|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddit|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Sawyer Kabance

2025-01-17T15:23:37Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Redirected page to Basement-dweller

#REDIRECT[[Basement-dweller]]

File:Sawyer Kabance.jpg

2025-01-16T22:18:37Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

Basement-dweller

2025-01-16T22:18:15Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Gallery */

[[Image:BasementDwellerOutside.gif|center|]]

[[Image:Basementdweller.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Basement dweller (identity concealed to prevent [[ugly]]).]]
[[Image:Mew2King.jpg|thumb|A basement-dweller's reaction to the outside world.]]
[[Image:Mcfattybasementdweller.jpg|thumb|200px|A basement dweller in action.]]
[[Image:Robbie.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Another basement dweller]]
[[Image:Neckbeard porn.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Shocking developments]]
[[File:Riggy face.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Broadcasting live from mommy's basement.]]
A commonly-used phrase that describes the socially inept: [[Atheism|Atheists]], [[Love Shy|love shys]], [[loser|losers]], [[Fanboys]], [[cosplay | cosplayers]], [[nerd]]s, [[slashfic]] authors, [[gamers]], [[weeaboos]], [[libertarianism|libertarians]], [[anarchists]], [[Social Justice|SJWs]], [[tumblr|tumblr users]], [[furfags]], [[bronies|bronies]], [[btard|/b/tards]], [[Star Trek|trekkies,]] [[World of Warcraft | WoW players]], [[League of Legends]] players, [[Homestuck]] readers, [[EDiot|Ediots]], [[Wikipedia]] editors, [[TV Tropes|Tropers]], [[Something Awful|Goons]], [[You|you]], and most of all [[trolls]]. In other words, people who know that the light of day will expose them for [[You|the freaks they are]]; Thus,[[you|they]] go on ED or [[you|they]] dwell in their [[parents]]' basement, [[fap]]ping while being ever so [[Politically incorrect|POLITICALLY INCORRECT :coolface:]] on the internet and live off [[pocky]] and [[KFC]].

==Habitats==

Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a [[basement]], this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the faculties necessary to become a [[W|contributing member of society]]. This includes being a [[McDonalds|twenty-year-old unemployed]] [[college]] dropout whose mother pays your rent (however, some basement dwellers will go to college and get a degree, only to return to their parents' house and fap like there is no tomorrow [see "A Confederacy of Dunces"]). Some "basement dwellers" still live in their parent's normal house as they did when they grew up, particularly if the house doesn't have a basement as is often the case in [[Europe]] and Texas because texans don't believe in basements -- they are unholy. Others still live in their [[Chris-chan|parent's bedroom]].

Excluded from the title basement-dweller are people who live with their parents for legitimate reasons. One must remember there is a difference between [[Incest|"living with mommy"]], and [[Jew|"living off mommy"]]. Some examples of this include:

* [[Fap]]ping at home between semesters of college
* No point in moving out if your college is a block away.
* Living at home because of financial problems (guess McDonald's doesn't pay as much as they used to)
* Living at home to assist in the [[Lemonparty|care of one's own elderly parents]].
* [[Furry|A very small minority of people who have or had a very serious and prolonged illness]]
* Being a member of an Italian or Chinese family.

Typical basement-dwellers are needlessly burdensome on their parents and/or government. Most of their time is taken up [[masturbating]] to [[furry art|furry porn]] and [[online sex games]], going to [[con|nerdish conventions]], eating cheese doodles, and playing [[D&D]]. In addition, as [[completist]]s, they spend an inordinate amount of time on the [[Internets]], using [[IRC]], [[LiveJournal]], partaking in [[Bandwidth_envy]], and arguing vehemently over their particular branch of [[fandom]]. And yes, you will still be a basement-dweller, even after you've finished building your new [[shit nobody cares about|"v0.1 2X Overdrive dual-ballast dual-T8-tube 128W 6,500k daylight fluorescent light]]." If you are an [[engineer]] or geologist, [[Vietnam|dig secret tunnel networks]] (or just [[series of tubes|a pressurized capsule network to transport M:tG cards]]) while making secret entrances to find D&D bong sessions and [[plastic crap]].

'''How can I tell if an otherwise typical lolcow is a basement-dweller?'''
:There's a drop ceiling in their hideous webcam stills, and there's no way that said ceiling is in their "office," as they will claim. Wood paneling is also a dead giveaway.

Don't be fooled by the presence of a microwave, as the suspect's mother's kitchen can be used to throw people off the scent, but concentrate on the distinctive pallor of the individual's complexion which reveals their subterranean habitat.

===A prime example of [[faggot|basement-dweller]]s and/or [[weeaboo]] [[cock|dick]]s:===
<center>
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|<center><youtube>k-uTnqYHZ-I</youtube></center>|<center><big>'''THE Basement Dweller'''</big> <youtube>N6ikfeChS6E</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Contemplates Breasts'''</big> <youtube>NqvR_qMToHo</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Explains Term from Basement Dwellers' Point-of-view'''</big> <youtube>HxLtCc0CAE0</youtube> </center>|<center><big>'''Basement Dweller Enjoying Magic the Gathering'''</big> <youtube>oCagrNkBjTI</youtube> </center>}}</center>

==Basement-Dwellers & [[Trolls]]==

[[File:Neet.jpg|center]]

No - not [[trolls|internet wankers]] like [[4Chan]], but the mythical creatures from Scandinavia. Symptoms include:

*Suffering from greasy skin and warts caused by a lack of washing and living off junk food brought down by their moms every 30 minutes, because they are literally unable to move from the front of their computers.
*Poor eyesight caused by the endless glare of the computer screens or because they are [[asians]].
*Rotting teeth caused by grinding them [[fap|while thinking about sex]], or caused by their soda, sugar and refrigerated food diet.
*[http://www.triplestarnews.com/images/the_memo/bonedog/tech_soul/bad_technology.html Poor social life] brought on by virtually no IRL interaction (mom bringing you down cookies - and some more boxes of [[fap|tissues]] - doesn't count).
*A serious weight problem - they are either [[fat|grossly bloated]] or [[pro-ana|hideously skinny]]. The ones with [[neckbeard|neckbeards]] are funnier, particularly when coupled with moobs.
*A rotten, diseased workspace swarmed with a massive collection of day-old used dishes, empty soda cans, and [[plastic crap]], accumulated as a result of pure fucking laziness.

Of course the majority of basement-dwellers are actually [[trolls]], and vice-versa.

==[[weeaboo|Hikikomori]]==

[[weeaboo|引きっこもり. Japanese basement-dweller.]] Only difference being most japanese live in apartments, which do not have a basement. Even Japanese houses don't have basements, apparently prohibited by law. "Parasite single" is a term for those who live off their parents. The Britfag term "NEET" is also used.

{{squote|Hikikkomori live a nocturnal life, in a deep depressive state, far from social responsibilities (school, work, family) and activities. Even sexuality is often virtually lived and connected to a sexy manga heroine.|Francesco Jodice|describing the subject of his [http://www.francescojodice.com/video/hikikomori_eng.mov film]}}

[[shit nobody cares about|Interestingly enough]], Hikikomori seem to feel that [[BAW|they've got it worse]] than their western counterparts. A Japanese basement-dweller will often explain that [[Japanese]] culture is so simultaneously repressive and demanding that they've never properly adapted to it, causing them to wet themselves if they venture out into the public[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gIx6hZweHc]. Unlike their western counterparts, it is estimated that more than half of all Hikikkomori abuse/ beat their parents, which makes them far more [[An Hero|cooler]] while remaining anti-social losers. Male Hikikkomori may also explain that they feel they lack social role models because their fathers are entirely pussy-whipped. The large percentage of western basement-dwellers who have to import their [[Pocky]] and download their [[shota]] likely beg to differ. Hikikomori often go on [[2ch]], for which there is even a hikky board. It's against the rules on that board to tell the hikkys to go kill themselves. The cowardly hikkys who go on 2ch often whine and complain about their [[otaku|escapist culture]] being repressed, while [[hypocrite|establishing that they are no different from the other japs]] by blaming everything on the [[Koreans]]. Hikkys leech money off their parents to buy anime and manga paraphernalia so they can cum and drool all over it. You'd think that if they hated Japanese mainstream society so much they would band together in protest IRL (because no Jap can defy the urge to conform to a large group of people) or even use some of that money to buy a megaphone and shout out the window. (they wouldn't even have to leave their rooms) Instead, they go on 2ch and [[BAWWW]] about it like little babies.

''[[Rozen Maiden]]'' has a Hikikomori as a main character. Much like ''[[Shit|Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' before it, having a loser protagonist they could identify with meant that American [[Weeaboo|weeaboos]] latched onto the show like parasitic lamprey, only this time the "sexy manga heroines" and cartoon lust objects weren't [[Neon Genesis Evangelion|overstacked expressionless doll-like girls]], but [[Desu|ACTUAL DOLLS]].

[[Zombie#Max_Brooks|Max Brooks]]' ''[[Faggotry|World War Z]]'' features an hikikomori who becomes an famous [[Crap|hero]] after the [[Zombie Apocalypse]], eh slicing off zombie heads and not afraiding anyone with the help of an [[Lemon party|old]], blind, [[Marijuana#Cannabis|gardener]]. The idea that an hikikomori could ever do anything useful for anyone is the least believable element of [[Shit nobody cares about|the previous sentence]].

For a lighthearted and accurate look at the life of a Hikikkokomori, see the delightful shareware game, [[Yume Nikki]]. In it, a young girl overcomes her deepest fears and becomes [[an hero]] to Hikikkomori and [[Weeaboo]] all over the world. There's also the anime "Welcome to the NHK" which is mostly noteworthy because it doesn't involve power levels and robots for once, the protagonist is a lunatic and, most importantly, unlike [[you]] he wants to change his life and not remain an inept loser by doing something.

==Cellar-dweller==

A '''cellar-dweller''' is not to be confused with a '''basement-dweller'''. Although a person can be both, they might also be one but not the other. Some people are neither, but this article is not about them.

A cellar-dweller might claim to live on the main floor of a house in that they occasionally sleep there, eat there or fetch food from the main floor. The cellar-dweller might even ''own'' the house. However, cellar-dwellers remain in their cellar or basement most of the time because they have chosen to abandon the outside world for the inside world of fantasy tabletop battlegames, similar online or computer games, or some other extremely time-consuming hobby like counterfeiting, manufacturing drugs or [[Josef Fritzl|raping the shit out of your secret prisoner]].

Cellar-dwellers all over the world rejoiced in 1998 when death punk band [http://www.anotherstateofmind.net/antiworld%20home.htm Antiworld] wrote a song just for them, entitled 'Cellar Dweller.'

==Music==

<center><youtube>Tt1qHYU6cYE</youtube></center>
<center>The Basement Dwellers Anthem</center>

It is well known that #1 music for basement dwellers is by far [[Dimmu Borgir|black metal]], however they also listen to [[rock]], [[pop]], [[techno]], [[raver|rave]], [[rap]], [[boring|video game music]] and sometimes [[emo]].

*[[rock|Celldweller]]
*[[System of a Down]]
*[[Fall Out Boy]]
*[[Eminem]]
*[[ICP]]
*[[Linkin Park]]
*[[Limp Bizkit]]
*[[Guns 'N' Roses]]
*[[Metallica]]
*[[Slipknot]]
*[[Evanescence]]
*[[Kid Rock]]
*[[My Chemical Romance]]
*[[Fat Larry's Band‎]]
*[[Final Fantasy VII]] OST
*[[Rozen Maiden]] '''OST'''

==Gallery==
 
{{cg|Gallery|basement|center|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:Phelps-Basement-Room.jpg|Alternate basement setup
Image:Gamer.png|[[Typical]] [[gay|basement-dweller]] looking at [[porn]].
Image:Invasionscreambasement.jpg|A Dweller's worst fear: being discovered outside by the pod people!
Image:Basement de luxe 1.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:Basement_dweller_OHGOD.jpg|Basement dweller AND a [[pedophile]]!
Image:Basement_dweller_trollcat.jpg|Some [[Caveatipse|basement dwellers]] are in their late thirties.
Image:Basement de luxe 2.jpg
Image:Move out graduate.jpg|Congratulations graduate! Now [[GTFO]]!
image:weeaboobase.jpg|A weeaboo [[loli|pedophile]] in his pathetic basement.
Image:Wall a la Taco Bell by FroogleDoop.jpg|Basement dwellers eat at [[Taco Bell]].
Image:WOLFALICIOUSBITCH.jpg|Wignedwolf, basement dwelling furry magickian.
Image:Tatas.jpg|[[IRL|Out]] of his habitat.
Image:Fatasgr.jpg|The side effects of not going out.
Image:NGADDICT3.jpg|Typical Russian zadrot.
Image:Basement de luxe 3.jpg
Image:Timecards.jpg|Sustenance of a basement dweller: ''[[EverQuest]]'' time cards.
File:Cuntdestroyers.png|Two fine specimens.
Image:Azn mans pasttime.jpg|How [[azn]] basement dwellers spend their time.
Image:We Need To Talk.jpg|Should you inadvertently discover such a setup in a friend's house, get them [[Psychologist|professional help]] immediately.
Image:Basement de luxe 4.jpg
File:NEET Leech.png
Image:1242088178691.jpg|This is what happens when they leave their basement.
Image:Typical Singaporean.jpg|Basement dweller on [[Facebook|Failbook]]
Image:Lifestyles-of-the-rich-and-famous.jpg|Note the dumpster furniture.
Image:Typical-Basement-Dweller.jpg.jpg|Your typical basement dweller, note the blank soulless look in its eyes.
File:Afinespecimen.png
File:Basement de luxe 5.jpg
File:Neckbeard Dick.jpg
File:Neckbeard Vs SWAT.jpg
File:Sawyer Kabance.jpg|One day, you're a rugby star. The next, you're a racist elementary school janitor and [[Comic|DC]] fanboy looking at people's kids on [[Failbook]].
</gallery>|0}}

==See Also==
* [[Alligator]]
* [[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]]
* [[furfag|Chickenhed61]]
* [[Chris-chan]]
* [[Collectoons]]
*[[Vonhelton]]
* [[Darkfalz]]
* [[Degen]]
* [[Demcad]]
*[[User:Equivamp|Equivamp]]
*[[Erik "Tazman" Mokracek]]
* [[fakesagan]] - TheAmazingAtheist's other favorite fuckbuddy
* [[Fandom]]
* [[Faust & Kikyo Maaka]]
* [[GalladeXD]]
* [[ginger]]
* [[Glasses Teenager]]
* [[goodgirl_666]]
* [[Ground floor]]
* [[furfag|gsgbsgvcsrgr]]
* [[Gsnfag]]
* [[Halo]]
* [[HelenBaby]] - An Epic Failure even at basement dwelling
* [[Internet points]]
* [[retard|INfinity]]
* [[Jamie Baillie]]
* [[Jared Aycock]]
* [[John Skelton]]
* [[Josef Fritzl]]
* [[Joshua Goldberg]]
* [[Kimmo Alm]]
* [[King Of The Nerds]]
* [[LAN Party]]
* [[Love Shy]]
* [[MapleStory]]
* [[Matthew Nicholson]]
* [[Marjan Siklic]]
* [[Meta527II]]
* [[My Little Pony]]
* [[TheMysteriousMrEnter]]
* [[03bgood]]
* [[Pantaloons]]
* [[Raukue]]
* [[Runescape]]
* [[shortman]]
* [[Sick fuck]]
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
* [[Sonmanic]]
* [[Spax3]]
* [[Spending too long on the internet]]
* [[Trey Eric Sesler]]
* [[Tom Galloway]]
* [[furfag|TuffNuts]]
* [[Fallout 3|Vault Dweller]]
* [[VenomFangX]] - The AmazingAtheist's favorite fuckbuddy
* [[Yoshi-lord]]
* [[You]]
* [[World of Warcraft]]
* [[UltimateUKFFFan]]
* [[XOMizzEggManOx]]
* [[Zane1193]]

==External links==
* [http://tryvindale.com/VsrT2sIW Need some money to renovate your basement? Click here!]
* [http://shutinnetwork.com/ The Shut-In Network, where basement dwellers dwell]
{{life}}

[[Category:Epithets]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Satanism]]

Russell Greer

2025-01-09T17:29:50Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_2.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_4.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_2.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_4.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

{{cg||demands|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_2.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_4.png
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_7.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

{{cg||ariaevidence|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_2.png
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_5.png
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Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_8.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_9.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_14.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_16.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_2.png
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|}}
 

And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
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|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

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[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

{{cg|If it amuses the court...|misrepresentations|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande Update===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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===Kiwi Farms ===
Coming soon...

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:11 - Always Tay.jpg|Russell blames Barnard's suicide on Taylor Swift.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:12 - Why she did it.jpg|Barnard's friends try to figure out the connection.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Then they try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:13 - Bailee's BFF.jpg|Her best friend intervenes.
Image:14 - Stahp Mckena.jpg|He tells her best friend she is wrong.
Image:15 - Russell's Fault.jpg|Russell is shown logic.
Image:16 - Bad Mckena.jpg|Russell honors Barnard's memory by attacking her best friend.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 2.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 3.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 4.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 6.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 7.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 8.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 9.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 12.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 13.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 16.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 17.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 18.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_3.jpg
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Image:Russell_Greer-General_2.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddit|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddit|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddit|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

File:15 - Russell's Fault.jpg

2025-01-08T16:18:06Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

File:14 - Stahp Mckena.jpg

2025-01-08T16:16:10Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

File:13 - Bailee's BFF.jpg

2025-01-08T16:15:04Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

File:16 - Bad Mckena.jpg

2025-01-08T16:11:54Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

Russell Greer

2025-01-08T16:10:47Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* "Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory */

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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|}}
 

As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor11.png
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|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
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===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:11 - Always Tay.jpg|Russell blames Barnard's suicide on Taylor Swift.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:12 - Why she did it.jpg|Barnard's friends try to figure out the connection.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Then they try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:13 - Bailee's BFF.jpg|Her best friend intervenes.
Image:14 - Stahp Mckena.jpg|He tells her best friend she is wrong.
Image:15 - Russell's Fault.jpg|Russell is shown logic.
Image:16 - Bad Mckena.jpg|Russell honors Barnard's memory by attacking her best friend.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 2.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 3.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 4.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 8.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 12.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 17.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 18.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_3.jpg
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Image:Russell_Greer-General_5.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_2.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddit|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddit|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddit|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

File:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg

2025-01-08T15:39:01Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: BoyyyFromAlaska uploaded a new version of File:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg

File:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg

2025-01-08T15:36:25Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: BoyyyFromAlaska uploaded a new version of File:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg

File:12 - Why she did it.jpg

2025-01-08T15:32:54Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

File:11 - Always Tay.jpg

2025-01-08T15:31:08Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: BoyyyFromAlaska uploaded a new version of File:11 - Always Tay.jpg

File:11 - Always Tay.jpg

2025-01-08T15:26:52Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

Russell Greer

2025-01-08T15:26:11Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* "Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory */ New images.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_1.png
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</gallery>
|}}
 

This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_2.png
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Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_4.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

{{cg||demands|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_1.png
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
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</gallery>
|}}
 

Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

{{cg||ariaevidence|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_1.png
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_5.png
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Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_8.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_9.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_14.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_16.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_2.png
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Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_4.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_6.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor18.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

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[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

{{cg|If it amuses the court...|misrepresentations|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:11 - Always Tay.jpg|Russell blames Barnard's suicide on Taylor Swift.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:12 - Why she did it.jpg|Barnard's friends try to figure out the connection.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Then they try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 2.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 4.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 8.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 10.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 12.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 16.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 17.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 18.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_3.jpg
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Image:Russell_Greer-General_2.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddit|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddit|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddit|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Russell Greer

2025-01-05T22:00:29Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* School Shooting Threat "Prank" */ Redded out about the rite of passage, as his classmates have confirmed it is no such thing.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
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As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
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|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
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|}}
 

===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Barnard's friends try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
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Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
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Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
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Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
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File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
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File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
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File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
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File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddit|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddit|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddit|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Intellectual Checkmate

2025-01-02T17:25:25Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Smugfag and the Old Media */

{{cleanup}}
[[Image:AgoronchekVandal.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Moronchev.jpg|thumb|Goronchev, pitifully declaring war against the [[Internet Hate Machine]].]]
[[Image:Gay gon.jpg|thumb|Ladies and gentlemen, meet the [[lol|Sexiest Man in the World]]!]]
[[Image:Check mate.jpg|thumb|Moar liek Intellectually Challenged amirite]]
'''Goronchev''' (AKA Smugfag, MrThreePercent, Ron Lamp, Andy Ross and "Ass Lamp") is a 30-something, balding, closeted [[homosexual]] born in 17 Oct(March 12?), as a cancer survivor without testicles who plays Quasimodo in [[basement-dweller|his parents' basement]] in [[Hollywood]], [[California|CA]] who spends his life combating [[DOX|doc_droppers]] because he is so [[9/11|brave]]. Having lived in his basement his whole life with a lonely, beautiful and ultimately pure terabyte of [[child pornography]] to [[Fap|be his friend]], Goronchev realized that the only way [[TsimFuckis|someone like him]] could survive would be to post [[TL;DW]] videos of himself [[Attention whore|flexing his steroid-induced muscles]] and rubbing his asshole, while pretending to have knowledge of very [[intellectual]] topics such as [[Shit nobody cares about|religion, sex and video games]]. When not posing as the illegitimate, cancer-ridden son of Penn Jillete, he can often be found lurking on sites like [[Stickam]], attempting to bait [[16-year-old girls]] with minimal understanding of the English language and green cards into checking out his [[Bullshit|"above average"]] penis.

[[Some argue|Some would argue]] that he is not only a [[Slavery|keen mind of the West]], but the greatest [[troll]] known to Anon. That is assuming, of course, if "some" constituted an [[Watchmen|abattoir of retarded children]], who also believe the nuts in their shit has the [[Do i have potential|potential]] for homemade Nutella. Take heed, however, as combating this individual online will surely lead to one's demise! Well, at least it might lead to slight embarassment in his erotic chat party, if he's the only one talking. If that hurdle is crossed, then he will just resort to being the ultimate badass by contacting your parents, asking them to tell you to stop. If that doesn't work, then he will use his [[DotA|ultimate]] by contacting your local news media, hoping that "arguing with someone on the internet" is a hideous federal offense in your country.

{{Quote|My penis is so big it reaches from A - Z on the keyboard!|Goronchev, literally stating his penis is about ONE CENTIMETER LONG}}

==The Saga==
===Smugfag Begins===
[[Image:SeriousCat oscar wilde.jpeg|left|thumb|[[Serious Cat]] detects [[serious business]]]]
[[Image:Virtual bitchslap.jpg|thumb|Smugfag is smuuuuuuuuuuug.]]
Goronchev appeared on [[4chan]] in June of 2007 when a video of him was posted on [[B|/b/]] in which he claimed victory over the "misc. section". Paranoid [[Newfag|baby Anonymous]] ceased fapping to [[lolicon]] long enough to gangrape his [[YouTube]] with negative feedback and video responses, all while noisily banging their keyboards to produce spam comments (Consisting of [[DESU|DESU DESU DESU]] in natural /b/tard fashion). As things turned out, he was actually attacking the Misc. section at bodybuilding.com. Goronchev's attack on the Misc. section described his "intellectual checkmate" of Misc. by, as he put it, "using them like a condom." /b/ was slow to realize that they were not his target and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpSQmfBhUAg initially believed this was an insult], albeit a hilariously inept one. Even after the mistake was discovered, the attacks continued as his smugness made him an instant hit with /b/tards, who enjoyed making fun of his balding head, Minnie Mouse voice, and ridiculous claims about his [[Lie|sex life]] and intellectual prowess.

Trolls and rubberneckers at the time were delighted over Goronchev's [[Narcissism|obsession with his body]]. Of course, Goronchev was so concerned about maintaining his 3% body fat that he completely forgot about his round, balding head. Goronchev continued to feed the flames by claiming that his penis was [[LOL|almost nine inches long]] but not showing it off to prove his point. To this day Goronchev continues to make spurious claims about his member, though it is obvious to anyone with half a brain that this man is more full of shit than [[Tubgirl]].
[[Image:Retractedmicrowang.jpg|thumb|Actual photo of Goronchev's penis.]]
A [[YouTube]] user named Kbob08 used to plague Goronchev with video responses. Almost all of Kbob's videos were video responses to [[Faggot|Goronchev]] with the exception of his very first video which was just a [[retarded]] loogie of [[fail]] where he showed his bad taste in [[games]]. One day, feeling daring, Kbob decided to [[flame]] Goronchev using a video response. This prompted Goronchev to [[man the harpoons]] and end their relationship. Goronchev thoroughly "skewered and exposed" Kbob in a [[LOL WUT|video response to a video response for his video]]. Kbob deleted all Goronchev-related videos when TwinsanityNtranced was bashing on Kbob about being an attention leech. This victory by Goronchev only served to increase his already inflated ego and [[HUEG]] sense of [[unwarranted self-importance]]. He hired a [[Prostitute|publicist]], contacted Faux News, telling them that a new sensation was in town, who was sure to be just as funny as Jay Leno and started referring to his YouTube account as a television show.

===Operation: Intellectual Checkmate===
After a few months of inactivity, he returned in October of 2007. With a titanic ego and infinitesimal dick, he shed a tear of shame and admiration when he read this page. He then gathered himself together, mustered [[Cum|courage]] into his [[Cock|veins]] and declared war upon ED, posting a video in which he later admitted [[My mom just died|his mother is dead]]. "This was most likely suicide caused by the realization that she had given birth to such a grotesque creature instead of letting the doctor [[falcon punch]] her when he revealed that the baby might have a hazardous amount of smug cells," Dr. Anonymous states.

In a truly pathetic testament, Goronchev felt that his domination over ED was the greatest rape he was involved with since that one special time his dad needed help in the basement. For thirteen minutes, Goronchev read quotes from various ED articles that he felt were racist towards black people- as if this were something new. Going down the list of facts about him, he denied the claims to a minimal extent by adjusting minute details that he felt made the claims invalid. Of these claims, the one that he helt most offended by was that he attended a community college in Northern California, as he had never attended college and he never made it farther North than his dad's penis. Wow, by overestimating him for a worthless achievement, we really lost all credibility.

<center><youtube>qq01I8UzaHE</youtube></center>
{{Quote|They had no idea I was that good at shit-talking live, in-the-moment|Goronchev has mad skills.}}

Some interesting tidbits from this video include:

*Goronchev has the ability to read [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].
*The only thing smaller than a Jew's penis is a negro's "To Do" list.
*[[Jews did WTC]].
*Someone whose primary source of income is performing menial chores around the house has time too [[Bullshit|precious to waste on ED]].
*Even the intellectually superior can sometimes miss the point.
*His head resembles a 6 foot penis.
*Goronchev made ED even funnier.
[[TL;DR]]: Smugfag needs to learn [[English]], [[satire]], and the basics of a [[wiki]].

We responded by putting on a rubber glove and with a flick of our dick, Goronchev was suspended. He grew up in a suburban neighborhood, though, so he was tough like Mitt Romney and returned as MrThreePercent, (in honor of his penis size, which is [[At least 100|97%]] smaller than average). He began to make [[moar]] videos about the imaginary groups of [[In beta|beautiful]] "women" taking trans-continental road trips to rendezvous with his flesh balloon. Shortly afterwards, Goronchev disappeared from the internet and his account, "MrThreePercent," was suspended due to [[copyright infringement]].

At this time, Smugfag's favorite phrase, "Intellectual Checkmate" became a [[meme|mini-meme]] on /b/. Assuming that "Intellectual Checkmate" means something along the lines of using your wit during a debate to back your opponent into a corner from which they cannot retaliate, he does just the opposite by backing himself into a corner from which he cannot escape, so he disables comments on his videos in the hope that he will never actually have to debate with anyone. His logic would be [[Codey Porter|air tight]], were it not for the inconvenience that other humans happen to have the ability to respond.

When every other video site doesn't work out for you and your support and views have dwindled to nothing, what do you do? That's right! [[You]] make your ''very own'' website! Actually, you have a friend make your very own website. Actually, you have your friend make a channel for your very own website. Actually, you have your friend create a channel with your name on it for a corporate website and call it yours. FUCK YES! And when Brett Keane's channel goes down because the science he doesn't quite have the knowledge for didn't do the work for him, you make like Abraham Lincoln and [[Epic Fail|you try again]].

===The Final Goodbye===
After claiming in his last ED video that he wasn't going to make a new video on ED because they are not worth his time, he suffered the consequences of a mammy naively trying to sustain a diet and gave into the temptation with a seven minute video absolutely DESTROYING ED once again. He knows he's got top game, since he doesn't have any psychological disorders that his <s>mother</s> (lol dead), dad has let on about. To celebrate himself, he went to a print shop with his lucky baseball cap and asked the Mexican behind the counter if he could take a stupid pseudonym like "Goronchev" and make it look cool. The Mexican winked at him and put in red italics the coolest thing- the name of his YouTube account.

Goronchev, having been beaten into oblivion, saw his bleeding as a sure sign of triumph and marched away from YouTube, with his head held high and his thumb up his anus. The only contact he had with us was when Encyclopedia Dramatica was [[baleeted]] in mid-2011, he praised the vile actions of [[Girlvinyl|Sherrod DeHippo]] and her horrid third trimester abortion of a website [[Ohinternet]]. It seems he was hoping that this article would be gone forever. However, he failed to realize that on the internet, nothing ever goes away.

Today, Goronchev continues to make videos of himself flexing his sphincter in his father's basement while talking shit about people in chat rooms with his only friends... which he's never met face-to-face. Though he says he no longer bothers with h8ers like Anonymous and Encyclopedia Dramatica, whenever a [[troll]] shows up at his doorstep he takes time out of his day to make fun of them by writing up a [[TL;DR]] "exposé" on his "victim." This generally revolves around teasing somebody for being of a different race, or else emailing their parents, asking them to stop. He has even gone as far as [http://goronchev.blogspot.com/2010/07/k-thor-jensen-plagiarist-hack-writer.html making fun of a comedy writer by posting pictures of his kids and calling them "deformed,"] thus cementing Smugfag's status as an petulant, balding manbaby douchebag.

Smugfag met his nemesis in Benos, another stay-at-home manbaby with terminal Asperger's. Yes, the person he marked as his equal is, quite appropriately, somebody who can't even function in a social setting. When most others are busy raising families and living responsible, independent lives, Goronchev focuses upon challenging autistic live-with-parent men online, to prove that he is the best Goronchev in a world of Goronchevs. As the story goes, Benos couldn't stand Goronchev from the moment he laid eyes on him and felt the greatest frustration since the time that one kid with cerebral palsy spilled his juice box. So, Goronchev the Cancer Survivor put his lucky red cap on, while Benos the Aspie-Lord put on his goggles and the two fought a war of calling the other one the bigger idiot, neither realizing at any point in the debacle that [[Truth|they are both massive retards]]. Goronchev, knowing that the most-fulfilling [[victory|game]] involves desperate measures, contacted Benos' dad and cried about how much Benos had hurt his feelings. When Benos' dad told his son to behave to no avail, Goronchev did what any mature adult would do and contacted [[Fox_News|Australian news media]], which of course is a lie. Or anyone willing to be goronchev's slave because the lazy faggot couldn't do it himself , and [[X is not your personal army]]. Obviously Goronchev believes he wants people call up Benos' dad, which will fail, because no one really cares. Smugfag also called Benos an [[racist|Australian Arab]] on video because he doesn't understand people's accents or race, and everything went quiet for awhile, but overall, Goronchev remains a cunt. The irony of it all: [[faggot|he watched and recorded an entire video of a man jacking off]], without realizing watching a solo jack off session is [[gay]].

==[[not gay|Not Gay]]==
[[Image:Smugdyke mtf.jpg|thumb|His <strike>girl</strike>boyfriend.]]
[[Image:Mated.jpg|thumb|Totally . . .]]

Goronchev is very, ''very'' insecure about his sexuality. Goronchev is [[Denial|so adamant about his supposed heterosexuality]] that he often pulls wild and "true" sex stories out of his asshole to make himself sound straight. In most cases, the sex stories are so generic that it is very obvious they were ripped straight from a [[porn]] scene. In other cases, the stories are so vague that all instances of "she" and "her" can easily be replaced with "he" and "him" and it wouldn't make a difference.

{{Quote|[[Lies|I LOVE '''VAGINA & BREASTS]]''', and I'm straighter than a laser ([[Unwarranted Self-Importance|Hopefully, that will reduce the number of gay perverts after me]])|Methinks Goronchev doth protest too much}}

Smugfag apparently has a [[girlfriend]], and states that according to HOTorNOT, she is a perfect ten.

On February 27th, 2008 at approximately 10:15 PM EST, Goronchev was spotted in the CAM or GTFO chatroom of Stickam.com. At this time, he openly made a challenge towards a female member concerning his superiority over females in giving oral stimulation of the penis. This proved to be a landmark achievement in Goronchev's quest in proving that he is not gay.
{{quote|My dick is actually just long enough for me to get my tongue on it without too much effort|Smugfag, remarking on his favorite activity.}}

Also note that one of his favorite music stars is [[Gwen Stefani]], a homewrecking gutter slut and common love of all [[gay|straight]] white males across the globe.

==Smugfacts==
[[Image:SITEZ.png|thumb|Uhhh...wow...yeah...]]
*Fitter than the entire US Marine Corps.
*[[Bukkake|Beat up thirty guys at the same time]].
*Obtained offers of [[prostitute|employment]] from YouTube
*Intellectually checkmated ED.
*Had sex... like, more than once.
*Possesses a "larger than average penis". Seriously.
*Had repugnant sex with BigGayAl, his #1 internet-lover.
*Had a [[girlfriend]] instead of his hand, rumors still persist this is his [[faghag]]. [http://archive.fo/JrTWm]
*Transmogrified into [[Picard|Mr. Clean]] with steroid enhanced features [http://www.stickam.com/viewMedia.do?mId=191388327]
*Metaphorically provided homosexuals with a dicking so deep that he was able to hook ''their'' cocks and draw them out through their annihilated rectums before then lovingly holding them aloft and licking off the cum. *See far top of his Blogspot for a normal version*
*Watched a man fap on cam [[LOL WUT|to prove he isn't gay]].
*Cheated on a girl named Lesli after he slept with another [[trap|girl]] to prove he's less of an [[asshole]] and in denial about facts like a true faggot on the [[internets]] but proved nothing in a video he made about [[retard|Benos]] when backing up [[lol|evidence]].
*Goronchev with his best American accent, pronounces [[Aspergers]] as [[Stupid|Oss-pergers]] making Benos look less retarded.
*Was on K Thor Jensen's internet losers of the week [http://archive.fo/jIpmJ]

== Myths About Goronchev ==

'''Myth: "Goronchev doesn't work for his parents"'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev does, in fact, live in his father's basement. He and his father often videotape themselves having incestuous relations, with Goronchev taking his father's creamy load in his ass and then playing the rusty trombone.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev has had sex with many women."'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev is too infected with teh gay to be attracted to vagina. He has tried, however, to have sex with men, though most gay men are smart enough to stay away.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is not a pedophile."'''

'''FALSE.''' We have the pictures, videos, and eye witness testimonies to prove it. Click [http://goronchev.on.nimp.org/ here] to see it.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is as healthy as a horse."'''

'''FALSE.''' It is a widely-known fact that Goronchev has superAIDS, and will likely die in a matter of months.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev's penis is 8 and 3/4 inches long."'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev said himself that his penis reaches from A to Z on a QWERTY keyboard, meaning his penis is approximately one centimeter long.

 

'''Myth: [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|"Goronchev cares about black people"]] '''

'''FALSE,''' as proven by the below quote by Goronchev himself:

{{squote|A half ape, half human creature devolved from chimpanzees, who eats fried chicken, watermelon, and collared greens, write songs about raping white woman and stealing welfare checks from grandmothers...Niggers are lazy, dumb, and worst of all smell after taking a shower...Jews are a subhuman species...Jews did the World Trade Center attacks...I have no penis|Smugfag}}

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev can fight two guys at once."'''

'''SOMEWHAT TRUE,''' assuming that "fighting" means "double anal secksing."

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is a compulsive liar.'''"

'''TRUE.''' One look at his actions and facial expressions in his videos and you can easily tell that he is lying out of his ass.

 

'''Myth: "Goronchev is cool."'''

'''HAHAHAHAHAHA NO'''

 

'''Myth: "People watch his videos."'''

'''FALSE.''' Goronchev is the only one who takes himself seriously, and thus he thinks people actually like him and watch his videos.

==Psychological Analysis==

The following is a detailed psychological analysis by acclaimed e-psychologist Dr. David Anonymous, PhD:

{{squote|From an entirely psychological standpoint, all of his arguments just go to show how intellectually and physically inferior he feels to other people, as demonstrated by his need to go out of his way to try to outperform the "best" he can find at everything.

"I want to feel good about my body. Who is the strongest guy I can outperform?"
USMC Recruits.

"I didn't say I could outperform the entire USMC. I just went to the USMC recruiting station and did 26 pull-ups; more than any of them could do." Not that he had any intention of actually *joining* the USMC, just needed to reassure himself that he was physically superior than everyone around him. As a note... Recruits? "Recruit" is military terminology for "a civilian who will soon be joining the military." I.E. He beat a bunch of guys straight off the street, who had not been to Boot Camp yet. They were likely fresh out of HS.

To address his need to defend his phallic aptitudes: when you defend your PENIS by citing a statistic, it just shows how insecure you are about it. Yes, every guy gets insecure about how long or thick his PENIS is at least once. Totally normal. But to say, "My PENIS is ABOVE average" is just stating that either:

1. I believe everything my girlfriend says to me. 
2. I looked up average PENIS size on the internet and compared mine to it. 
3. I stood in the men's restroom and checked out people's dicks.

I admit to doing #2- mostly because I know you can't place much faith in #1, and #3 will get you beaten up. If 4.25" is 'average', then 'above average' is anything above 4.25. Even 4.26. Whoopty-fucking-doo. Congratulations, smugfag.

Furthermore, his need to go out of his way to put everyone he meets into "intellectual checkmate" just further demonstrates his intellectual inferiority complex.|Dr. David Anonymous, PhD}}

==Smugfag and the [[Old Media]]==
[[Image:Smugcapmaybe.JPG|thumb|IRREFUTABLE PROOF...more or less...that Goronchev WAS ALREADY A FAUX NEWS DARLING]]
Goronchev made an appearance on [[Faux News]] to [[Leave me alone|discuss]] [[Megan Meier|cyber-bullying]] and [[Anonymous]]. He is now an "[[liar|expert]]" on cyberbullying. Smugfag gets about 9 seconds worth of face-time. He earlier promoted his television premiere on his [[Jewtube]] and suggested that [[unwarranted self importance|perhaps the Fox people would post the rest of his interview on the website]].

Just remember, kids: [[bulling is rabbit]] on the internets.

In one of his videos bragging about this [[fag|incredible feat]], he claims that he was "chosen" do an interview, despite the fact that Fox asks people to call in to be screened for these interviews.

<center><youtube>PNfVhoKVx7Q</youtube></center>
{{Quote|These people are extremely organized...|Goronchev, referring to this page written by a 16-year-old on the shitter.}}

Though this appears to be Smugfag's first news appearance, it might be possible that he has appeared on Fox before. You be the judge:

1) Watch the smash-hit of summer 2007, "Anon vs. Faux News" again [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNO6G4ApJQY]

2) Pay particular attention to the [[fag|leet haXXor]] in silhouette at 1:45, 1:57 ("they get what they call 'lulz'...") and 3:02

3) NOTICE BASEBALL CAP AND COLLARED SHIRT - official uniform of the International Association of Smugfags, as shown in his armada of motherfucking YouTube videos.

4)<s> Watch the 2008 cult classic "Brett Keane interviews Goronchev" (only the first 30 seconds, it's a fucking epic a la Battlefield Earth otherwise) [http://youtube.com/watch?v=WAVMmfPo_NM]</s> baleeted

5) Note this delicious nugget of dialogue:

*'''SMUGFAG:''' Rupert Murdoch is all over this sweet, young, tight ass, yes indeed.
*'''BURGER KEANE:''' So what exactly is the Fox News going to be doing with you, bro?
*'''SMUGFAG:''' Yeah, well here's the deal: '''we already did a thing'''. You may not know this, but...

In conclusion - it's him. Amirite or amirite?

== Videos ==

<center>{{fv|meenvids1|background-color: lightgray;|font-weight: bold;

|<youtube>2jRlcqn7M74</youtube>
Goronchev is Moar Racist.
|<youtube>cSGJo3CFLKQ</youtube>
He is bothered by hypocrisy while at the same time practicing it; he has only one option, BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE. Goronchev haet hypocrisy even moar:
|<youtube>-1595TOu_So</youtube>
He's a sicko. 
|<youtube>qOb8cyE4a0A</youtube>
Smugfag returns for more hate and trolling on [[youtube|internet peoples]]; doesn't realize,
he's being [[rape|used like the condom himself]], so other users can get more [[popular|whoring]],
please thank goronchev for his [[Boring|TL;DR]] videos
|<youtube>kWSP5TVBIQI</youtube>
Smugfag critical of anti scifag [[hate]](Commentary)
|<youtube>6-AzSCCJR_s</youtube>
Chris Crocker talks to smugfag on the phone.
|<youtube>sE0YNmgGnf4</youtube>
Smugfag tries to prove he's got a high [[IQ]] in [[no|intelligence]], but prank calls like he's an
[[13_year_old_boy]]
|<youtube>zG9xn1TLLQ8</youtube>
The [[irony]] of this video is that he wacked off to porn(though faked), but tried to expose
benos for jerking off on cam.
|<youtube>qRg7dZMNwbU</youtube>
Major butthurt when Goronchev gets flagged on youtube.
Goronchev is interviewed by The Burger Keane
|<youtube>a5qAJtZaacc</youtube>
LOL
}}



</center>

== Gallery ==

{{cg|Gallery of Intellect|intelgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:ICchess.jpg|Intellectual Checkmate is now a meme.
Image:Gaysha.JPG|
Image:Gaysha2.JPG|HOLY SHIT! IT IS!
Image:360goronchevclose2.jpg|[[360 kid|The great thing about Intellectual Checkmate isn't destroying ED, it's showing everyone on YouTube that I did.]]
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Goronchev.jpg|@Smugfag...[[INTERNET HATE MACHINE|you have our attention.]]
Image:YES!POPULAR!.jpg|SNIGGITY SNAP
Image:Goronchev.png|
Image:Bald.png|Fgt is losing his hair lol.
Image:Combover.jpg|[[bald|FOLLICLY CHECKMATED!]]
Image:Smugness.jpg|[[Otaku|Dressed like a geisha]] (Moar liek GAY-sha, [[amirite|amirite]]?)
Image:34 on smugfag.jpg|[[34]] on Smugfag
Image:goronchev_victim.jpg|[[Victim complex|VICTIM]]
Image:SmugfagGF.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5GLbkKEzT8 Smugdyke], Smugfag's [http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=SMHRRUK&key=JWV 10/10] MTF "girlfriend"
Image:Smugfag4.jpg|Smugfag: Uses people like a condom.
Image:GoronchevsDick.jpg|[http://goronchev.blogspot.com/2008/01/common-myths-about-me-on-internet-damn.html Goronchev using a dildo to fool people to believing his dick is hueg].
Image:Goronchev straighter than lazer.PNG|Yeah...
Image:Supergay.jpg|Supergay!
Image:Intellectual Faggot.jpg|The losing black piece fits him so well.
Image:SmugfagA ZSCALE.JPG|Hitting on the ladies again with your A-Z scale huh?
Image:Dawguxp5.jpg|Photofunia's version of [[Fail|Smuggod]].
Image:itresembles.jpg|RESEMBLANCE.
Image:Smugfag_adopted.jpg|
Image:Goronchev_wetdream.jpg|Sharing a dream
Image:Smugfag_Claming_Fake_Superority_all_over_again.jpg|Making shitty claims
Image:Smugsleepy.jpg|...Yep, he's straight.
Image:Goronchev BBQ.png|Not shooped.
Image:Weaponsofmasssteroids.jpg|Balding Steroid Abuser ready for action.
Image:Picture_goronchevsuspsended.png|Jewtube finally got the message to him.
Image:Smugfag_douche.JPG|Uses an ear syringe to douche [[santorum]] from his [[micropenis]].
Image:Acatisfinetoogoronchev.jpg|Following the footsteps of [[Kenny Glenn]] his national [[an hero]]. [[A_cat_is_fine_too]]
Image:Goronchev-faggot-demotivational-poster-1211030195.jpg|
Image:Goronchevbaw.png|Smugfag crying over a bodybuilding member trollin him over his dead mum. thread for extra [[lulz]]: http://tinyurl.com/7mvh8ed
Image:Goronchev_drugs.jpg| What he does before making videos.
Image:Goronchevgayblackguy.png| Being hit on by gay [[black_people|niggers]]. Maybe goronchev wants black people to have some [[cum|vanilla]] after all.
Image:27911556.jpg| Keanu is always right.
Image:Mr3bitchslap-1.jpg| Goronchev has a dirty fetish.
Image:Anewchallengerappears.png| The ultimate [[retard]] battle has begun!
File:Goronchev1.jpg
File:Intellectual Checkmate 3.png
File:360goronchev.jpg
File:Speshul.jpg
File:Durrrr.JPG
File:Smugfag.JPG
File:360goronchevclose.jpg
File:Goronchev lulz.JPG
File:Intellectual Checkmate 2.jpg
File:Intellectual Checkmate.jpg
File: GoronchevracistruinedUntitled.png
</gallery>|0}}

== External Links ==
*[https://archive.ph/juAz Goronchev hater group]
*[https://discord.com/channels/607393960301821965/607821077711683584 Discord]
*[https://www.tiktok.com/@themrbomb When it could be worse while acting smug, he joins this shit site where everyone acts like faggots on camera]
*[https://spacehey.com/profile?id=72575 A account no really would care about anyway]
*[https://www.facebook.com/BrawnyRonnie His new facebook to hide from himself again where he flexes his gay body] [https://www.youtube.com/BrawnyRonnie Youtube new Main same old shit:BrawnyRonnie]
[https://www.facebook.com/people/La-Bomb/100000509592396 His facebook is hidden or baleeted due to the exposing of benos revealing facebook chats that goronchev had with his dad]
*<s>[http://brettkeanevideo.com/view_channel.php?user=GhostGoronchev</s> He now resides in brett keane's rectum] Beat up a guy yet not proven to be [[anonymous]] IRL, but only a lie to think he's bigger then [[4chan]] [[Truth|We know he runs scared if someone pulled a knife at him, he's too busy trying to pwn a possible furry named benos on the interweb that no one really cares about]]</s> '''DEAD'''
*[http://twitter.com/goronchev Goronchev's Twatter] [[twitter|twatter]] that he updates for his stickam and other bullshit. He recently tried to [[butthurt|protect his tweets]], because of benos trolling his ass, yet, [[realistic_expectations|they can be still found by searching his name on the website]].
*[http://tinychat.com/goronchev/ Tell how much you love his tiny penis], beware; this is all lies, as he has none.
*[http://www.myspace.com/goronchev Smugfag's MySpace]
*<s>[http://www.myspace.com/ronlamp Smugfag's OTHER MySpayce]</s> Lol private
*[http://tinychat.com/mrsexbomb Goronchev's Tinycock] After [[Stickam]] decided to [[an_hero]], smugfag had to relocate to a smaller [[tinychat|dick]].
*<s>[http://www.stickam.com/profile/goronchev Smugfag's Stickam]</s> Stickam pwned themselves, now goronchev has to rebuild his e-peen once again.
*<s>[http://www.stickam.com/profile/thezone Smugfag's OTHER Stickam made to hide from anon]</s> Same as above
*<s>[http://www.stickam.com/profile/goronchev_live Smugfag's 3rd Stickam profile made to hide from himself]</s> No more dickam!
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/goronchev Smugfag's YouTube]</s> '''SUSPENDED. FOR THE LULZ. Finally.'''
*<s>[http://youtube.com/user/MrThreePercent Smugfag's OTHER YouTube]</s> Lol suspended
*<s>[http://youtube.com/user/smugfagg Spoof YouTube created by a /b/tard]</s> Suspended
*<s>[http://www.livevideo.com/Goronchev Smugfag's LiveVideo]</s> Dead
*<s>[http://yourvision.magnify.net/ yourvision.magnify.net his failed video site]</s> Failed site dead.
*[http://goronchev.blogspot.com/ Gayspot] [[LOL]] [[Butthurt|Invite only]] because benos' been taking down his failed videos.
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzvkWNy3OzQ][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-KVtA3lJp8][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ-OS9lQ7OI] Smugfag declaring war on various chans</s> ZOMG Private? How are we going to stroke your e-peen now???
*[http://www.myfoxla.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=4D800A279B3CEAD006A31E0876588922?contentId=5647826&version=4&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1 Smugfag on FOX11 NEWS] He calls himself a [[Lulz|'victim']].
*[http://youtube.com/SubVLPer Another possible socket account with stickam chats. Though, he cannot stick to many accounts already, that faggot]
*http://gorenchev.blogspot.com A satirical blog created by Benos
*[https://www.facebook.com/pages/Goronchev-the-worst-vlogger-who-ever-lived/310607445617221 An anti-Goronchev Facebook group. Join for the lulz!]
*[https://www.youtube.com/user/LaRoathTheGoat Iliketofuckgoats ] Possible socket account with many of goronchev's old vids, just trying to be your [[lame|average]], everyday, [[white_people|white]] guy.
See lulzy background with a obsession with the goronchev and benos drama that still wages on once and awhile.
*[http://www.pornolize.com/translate/?lang=en&url=https://encyclopediadramatica.online/Goronchev Goronchev Pornolized] If you want to see how gay goronchev can get while pornolized.
*<s>[http://facepunch.com/member.php?u=144999 Facepunch account ] Possible account on facepunch/or hoping to troll his number 1 fan Benos by stalking him. There is proof of that in his [[fail|exposing]] video.</s> DEAD

== See Also ==
*[[TheSockDetective]]
*[[MrFetch]]
*[[Unwarranted self-importance]]
*[[Internet tough guy]]
*[[Not Gay]]
*[[Lolcow]]
*[[Asking for it]] (is saying too little)
*[[GreenTeaGirlie]]
*[[Ugly]]
*[[Pedophile]]
*[[Failure]]
*[[Idiot]]
*[[Derek Smart]]

{{Takedown}}
{{ytseries}}
{{chans}}

{{Timeline|Featured article December 14, [[2007]]|[[Penis Nosed Fox]]|Intellectual Checkmate|[[Robert Hawkins]]}}

[[Category:Abnormal_Psych]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Chans]]
[[Category:2007]]

Watchpeopledie.tv

2025-01-01T14:44:00Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Quotes */ Added another CLITPEELER quote.

{{Achtung|BREAKING NEWS: [[LOLWUT|You can now get married to other WPD users]]}}
{{Frame|[[File:WPDbanner1.png|1000px]]|border=black|margin=auto}}
 
{{ib|[[File:Wpd.tv logo.jpg|250px]] <big>'''DEATH TO THE REDDITFAGS'''</big>}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''WatchPeopleDie.TV'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Type'''|[[Gore]] site, [[social media]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[Nuke|Launched]]'''|April 25th, 2022 ({{age|2022|4|25}} years ago)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Current Status'''|{{Greentext|Online}}}}
{{Ibrow|'''URL'''|<s>watchpeopledie.co</s> ([[Redirect]]) watchpeopledie.tv}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Shock}}

'''WatchPeopleDie.tv''' ('''WPD''' for short) is a super secret [[Graphic Violence|gore]] and [[necrophilia|alternative porn]] site on the "[[dark web]]" that, according to [[Children|experts]] on [[TikTok]], can only be accessed via [[VPN]]s and [[TOR]]. This faggoty site has a surprisingly [[ironic|lively]] community of [[Over 9000|over 3 million]] degenerate [[I'm 12-years-old and what is this?|12-year-olds]] and [[Columbiners|school shooter worshippers]] who [[Captain Obvious|do exactly what the name of the site would suggest]]. Unsurprisingly, [[Dylan Butler|multiple]] [[Natalie Rupnow|users]] of the site have went on to commit several [[school shooting|IRL shootings]], thus making it a [[terrorist]] organization [[Aztec High School Shooting|much like Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

It was created as a sister website to [[Shit nobody cares about|rDrama]] 3 years after the subreddit /r/watchpeopledie got [[b&]] by the [[butthurt]] Kiwi government in the wake of an epic [[Brenton Tarrant|CGI animation]] from [[New Zealand|New Zealand]] getting released in March 2019. Despite being ran by a bunch of [[Does it for free|unpaid]] [[basement-dwellers]], WPD has much more features than [[Reddit|Plebbit]], and just like Plebbit, ✡[[censorship]]✡ runs rampant. It is essentially an unlikely combination of [[MySpace]] and [[LiveLeak]].

The [[furry]] mascot of the website is a hypersexualized [[tranny]] [[lolcat]] named {{KYM|memes/marsey-the-cat|Marsey}} blatantly stolen from a Telegram sticker pack.

== Introduction ==
[[File:KingOfTheInternet.png|250px|thumb|How WPDtards see their shitty site]]
Watchpeopledie.tv was created on April 25th, 2022. It started out with a bunch of unique videos getting posted. It uses Cloudflare, which is very unfortunate, because cloudfare does this very retarded annoying thing here it constantly asks if you are a human or not. Fucking cloudfare. It existed on plebbit as r/watchpeopledie until the judeojannies banned it when it started posting [[Brenton Tarrant|CGI animations]] that were too spicy, which ironically is what another gore subplebbit, r/gunfights, would get banned for years later, in the wake of yet another one of Sorathas spicy [[Payton Gendron|CGI animations]], this time from Buffalo, Jew Dork. The way the site works is that you can post comments and videos, and for every like or dislike you get, you get 4 coins, which can be used to buy retarded little hats, dumb rewards to attempt to annoy people with, or you could just gamble them away like a [[Las Vegas|Las Vegas]] dead beat. When you post, you have to categorize your videos accordingly, these categories are called holes. There is h/stabbing, h/shooting, h/drowning, h/social, and many more. The site is ran by a group of admins, the chiefest among them is CLITPEELER, who you do not wish to mess with.

== Issues ==
The website is very user unfriendly, when you click on a post, a bunch flying gif pixels and ugly niggers will be flying around because some joker put an award on the post to make it do that. Other users can buy awards that ban you for a day. Users will block you even though you never contacted them, comments and usernames will have large and annoying looking moving emojis attached to them, and the list of plebbit like faggotry goes on and on. There is also an annoying bot that comments randomly generated crap in every thread. Of course, most of that is pretty funny, so let's move on to actual issues with this website, so I do not sound like a kvetching jew.

The website is full of reposts and dumb edits. Wow! What a cool video! It is a shame that I have already seen it 6 million times before! At first, there were no reposts at all, but now there is an infestation. Those edits of CGI animations are just an excuse to make reposts.
The website is also full of losers who worship school sneezers, although, to be fair, most users condem such things.
A lot of videos on wpd are just plain boring. Not just because most of them are reposts, but also because most of them feel the same. There is only so much mileage that one can get from watching dozens of "different" videos that always follow the same format. "Oh, cool, another low quality video of some tied up beaner lying on the ground while he gets blasted by a nerf gun wielding aztec! Havent seen that one before!" " Woah! Another video of a spic in brazil getting ambushed that has no distinction between the hundreds of other videos on here that are exactly like it! Awsome!"

After a while, execution videos like that get boring because there is no variety or struggle or ambiguity to them. You know exactly how each one will end. They are about as mindless as those capeshit movies were good guy beats bad guy that consoomer cucks fall head o er feels for.
There are also a lot of idiots who do self harm over there, which brings down the overall quality of the website down by about 10 [[Ronnie McNutt|Mcnutty]] points.

As of summer of 2024, 2 years after the websites conception, a bunch of new admins for wpd.tv came to power. They are power trippers and anyone they do not like gets banned. This has lead to a bunch of angry freeze peach cucks to whine as their accounts get banned, and they whine to the power hungry degenerate admins, right before the sword falls on their head, "But admin, I would respect your freeze peach if our situations were reversed!" Only to get perm banned anyway because lordly techno barons and internet ideology consoomers do not care a damn about your "freeze peach" if they think you are an enemy. Dumb arse freeze peach cucks never learned the simple fact that if the game is rigged against you, you are a fool if you play by th' rules.

== Controversy ==
For many reasons, wpd.tv is very controversial, and it is especially hated by plebbitors and [[TikTok|shit tok]] users. Besides gore, there are other reasons for that. You see, just like [[Newgrounds|Newgrounds]], one of wpds users would commit a mass sneezing, and just like [[Newgrounds|jewgrounds]], another one would attempt to go for the [[High Score|high score]], only to get [[Fail|captured before he could do it.]] This has led to wpd to rise to top tier infamy, much farther then one would expect from a website that started out as a sister website to Rdrama. Another reason they have become controversial is because pearl clutchers on jewtube and shit tok have made numerous videos kvetching about wpd for typical oversensitive female/boomer reasons.

== Noticable Users ==

[[furfag|'''Fishyman420''']]: Faggot whom posts gifs of [[Buttsecks|niggers kissing]] and [[Tits|pikatits]] whilst blaming you for being a faggot then banning you

== Quotes ==

<center>
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold;
|Cloudfare is being naughty

|CLITPEELER

|*Insert random copy pasta here*

|Snappy

|Fat dude shoots some other dude in the back like six times to steal cow shit or whatever these people keep in their pockets

|CLITPEELER

|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}}
</center>

== Gallery ==

<center><gallery>
File:DragonkinVSPlebbitorHoard.jpeg|Troll vs Horde
File:Wpd.tv.jpg|front page
File:Marsey The Cat.jpg|The [[Smex|shmexy]] Mascot
File:WatchPissDrinking.jpg|Just your typical "gore" content
</gallery></center>

== Videos ==

== See Also ==
*[[BestGore|BestGore]] - Another infamous gore website
*[[LiveLeak|LiveLeak]] - yet another one.
*[[Ogrish.com]] - [[Redundant|Yet ANOTHER gore site.]]
*[[Goregrish]]
*[[Rotten.com]]

== External Links ==
*{{WPD||WatchPeopleDie.TV}}
*https://fsdfsd.net/MarseyWorld/MarseyWorld - [[Open source|It's FOSS!]]

{{RedditSeries}}
{{Sites}}

Talk:Russell Greer

2024-12-31T17:00:15Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Created page with "== Catching up == It appears that this page wasn't touched since 2018. A shit-ton has happened, so I'm gradually catching things up, with new sections about the suicide he tried to hijack, as well as stalking Erika. The school shooting threat was missing, so I included the police report and an excerpt from the book. Now, the Kiwi Farms lawsuit is pretty huge, but I'm almost of the mind that it's not worth including until it has run its course. If anyone has opposing opin..."

== Catching up ==
It appears that this page wasn't touched since 2018. A shit-ton has happened, so I'm gradually catching things up, with new sections about the suicide he tried to hijack, as well as stalking Erika. The school shooting threat was missing, so I included the police report and an excerpt from the book. Now, the Kiwi Farms lawsuit is pretty huge, but I'm almost of the mind that it's not worth including until it has run its course. If anyone has opposing opinions on this topic, let me know. [[User:BoyyyFromAlaska|BoyyyFromAlaska]] ([[User talk:BoyyyFromAlaska|talk]]) 17:00, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

Talk:Hawk Tuah

2024-12-31T16:53:33Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: Created page with "== Coin == Let's lean heavier into her crypto fuckery. Honestly, everything else pales in comparison to her rug pull. ~~~~"

== Coin ==
Let's lean heavier into her crypto fuckery. Honestly, everything else pales in comparison to her rug pull. [[User:BoyyyFromAlaska|BoyyyFromAlaska]] ([[User talk:BoyyyFromAlaska|talk]]) 16:53, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

Talk:Nick Fuentes

2024-12-31T16:10:29Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Recent events */

==Kanye Affair==
Anyone gonna talk about Nicki-dicki-suckie’s plan’s to turn Kanye into Nigler? [[File:VFW-icon.png|32px]]<big>[[User:Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd|'''VF.Wyyzrd''']]([[User Talk:Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd|'''T''']] - [[Special:Contributions/Viril.Feline.Wyyzrd|'''C''']])</big> 01:11, 2 May 2024 (EDT)
:You're that anyone [[User:JohnBarosa|JB]] | [[User talk:JohnBarosa|**(SQUARE UP NIGGA)**]] 01:13, 2 May 2024 (EDT)

==Recent events==
Needs info on the doxxing and subsequent events that transpired with the fugly jewess that showed up at his house. And also a section on the [[John R. Lyons|assassination attempt]].[[User:Pooper|Pooper]] ([[User talk:Pooper|talk]]) 08:37, 31 December 2024 (UTC)
:I couldn't agree more. A lot of these pages need to be updated, as half the site seems more like a mausoleum than a database. [[User:BoyyyFromAlaska|BoyyyFromAlaska]] ([[User talk:BoyyyFromAlaska|talk]]) 16:10, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

User talk:DarthBotto

2024-12-31T16:07:40Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

{{welcome}}- [[User talk:Mr Jonzz|Mr Jonzz]] [[Image:MJHS.png|17px|[[User:Mr_Jonzz]]]] 14:15, 28 May 2012 (EDT)

==sup bb?==

Are you affiliated with GNAA at all? Just curious. Also sorry for drunkshitting on your page. {{User:Mike the Great/Sig}} {{User:Mike/Gay}}01:22, 4 October 2012 (EDT){{User:Mike/NotGay}}
:Had to look it up what that stands for. Nope, I can't say that I'm gay or associated with anyone, really. Why are you curious? [[User:DarthBotto|DarthBotto]] [[User talk:DarthBotto|talk]]•[[Special:Contributions/DarthBotto|cont]] 06:50, 04 October 2012 (UTC)

lol over done then. And who said It was me in the video, goronchev only tried to prove one comment in his video about me, and it wasn't very explainable, nor is his explaination about lying about some girl named Lesli he thinks didn't exist. [[User:Lazarus|Lazasrus]]
:Nobody said any one particular editor was Benos. However, the text sure has looked like somebody is really proud of themselves. Really, the only thing I'm interested in is keeping the page in good shape. Since I created it back in 2007, it's gone through periods of high and low, but lately, it's been looking a little sloppy.

== [[Mr Wiki Pro]] ==

I noticed you left a question on an admin's talk page but never received an answer to it, so I'm gonna field it for ya.

The article you mentioned is indeed subpar in its current state, and the author is a lying dirtbag for not keeping his word on expanding it. But the goal here is to *add* content to the wiki, not remove it. By keeping that article around, maybe someone, someday will actually turn it into an acceptably informative piece of dramatic greatness. By deleting it, we'd be removing that possibility.

Yeah, it's written from a bit of a whiny perspective atm, but it's not a shitty attack article, and thus doesn't qualify for that type of removal.  [[User:Sickpuppy|Sickpuppy]] [[File:Wolfpawprintalpha.png|18px|link=User_talk:Sickpuppy]] 11:54, 18 July 2014 (EDT)

== Removing templates ==

Hey dumb shit, if you thought the page should have been deleted, then you shouldn't have removed the fucking template. [[User:Kackerack|Kackerack]] 05:26, 14 August 2014 (EDT)
:No, I [https://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Mr_Wiki_Pro&action=historysubmit&diff=656713&oldid=656712 removed] the template from the article and proceeded to clean it up. [[File:Schnookums Icon3.png|32px|link=User:Schnookums]] [{{SERVER}}/index.php?title=User_talk:Schnookums&action=edit&section=new reply] 05:43, 14 August 2014 (EDT)

== You ever coming back ==
Yo. Sup? It's Final Go. It's been 10 yrs -- are you ever gonna return to your /btard ways? [[User:BoyyyFromAlaska|BoyyyFromAlaska]] ([[User talk:BoyyyFromAlaska|talk]]) 16:07, 31 December 2024 (UTC)

Russell Greer

2024-12-29T16:02:28Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* External Links */ Added Reddit profiles.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
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As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
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|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
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===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Barnard's friends try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
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Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
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Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{reddit|MoreThanADisability3|Russell's first known Reddit profile}}
*{{reddit|ManyInfluence6176|Russell's first known burner profile}}
*{{reddit|Best_Opinion_5571|Russell's second known burner profile}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Russell Greer

2024-12-28T16:55:18Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* "Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition */ Corrected transcription errors. Not everything is "sucked me my penis".

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_1.png
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</gallery>
|}}
 

This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SUMMONING_1.png
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</gallery>
|}}
 

Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

{{cg||demands|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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</gallery>
|}}
 

Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

{{cg||ariaevidence|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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</gallery>
|}}
 

As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_2.png
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Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_6.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor18.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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</gallery>
|}}
 

EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

{{cg|If it amuses the court...|misrepresentations|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

{{cg|He really was convinced he was going to win...||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_1.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_2.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_3.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_4.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Planned_On_Winning_5.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer Chris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. [[EPIC|Epically]] similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writing was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Brackin asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" In my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Barnard's friends try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
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Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
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</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
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Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
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File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
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File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Russell Greer

2024-12-27T21:06:52Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Revising And Reimagining Reality */

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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</gallery>
|}}
 

This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
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|}}
 

Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

{{cg||demands|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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</gallery>
|}}
 

Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

{{cg||ariaevidence|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
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As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

{{cg|If it amuses the court...|misrepresentations|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
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|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

====School Shooting Threat "Prank"====
The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer CHris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. Epically similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writying was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Bracking asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" I my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Barnard's friends try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 18.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Russell Greer

2024-12-27T20:11:29Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Revising And Reimagining Reality */

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
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|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
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As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
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Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
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===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer CHris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. Epically similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writying was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Bracking asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" I my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Barnard's friends try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
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Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

Russell Greer

2024-12-27T20:10:40Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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</gallery>
|}}
 

This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
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</gallery>
|}}
 

Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

{{cg||demands|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_DEMANDS_1.png
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</gallery>
|}}
 

Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

{{cg||ariaevidence|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_1.png
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Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_16.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_2.png
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Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_4.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_5.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_6.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor10.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor11.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor12.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor13.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor15.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor18.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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|}}
 

EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

{{cg|If it amuses the court...|misrepresentations|center|<gallery perrow="4">
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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor6.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
</gallery>
|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

The best example of this is perhaps Russell's earliest exploit: the school shooting threat he wrote on the bathroom wall. Official police records tell one story and Russell tells another in his book that he admits he [[Lie|embellishes]] throughout. The only details that are consistent are that in December 2009, Russell wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. Tell us which sounds more believable.

'''From the Evanson County Police Report:'''

Narrative:

This officer was advised by (REDACTED) who is a student at Evanston High School about a disturbing writing he observed in the Men's restroom across from the main office. Porter then showed this officer the writing which was located on the farthest left stall as you enter the restroom, and upon the wall tile to this stall. The writing stated " This is not a joke On December 18th, I am bringing a gunn and I will kill 8 people on my list. Beware (Beware is underlined.

The scene was processed and no prints of evidentiary value were obtained. Detective Smith also responded. The writing was photographed and saved on officers lap top and camera.

This officer, teachers, and staff have been alerted and numerous papers of students have been obtained. However, no close similarities of students writings have been obtained. Video camera number 18 of the school security cameras are currently being reviewed. Nothing further at this time

Supplement, SRO Alexander 12-9-09:

Mr. Merle Lester, who is the assistant Vince Principal of the Evanston High School had the opportunity to review the schools video system as mentioned above. Several students were noted to be in the restroom for over three minutes and hand writing samples were obtained. However, one student named Russell Greer was observed going into the restroom and not coming out for approximately seven minutes on the day in question (12-3-09). Mr. Lester then obtained some school work that was completed by Russell Greer. After reviewing this writing this officer, Merle Lester, Dave Bennett who is the principal and Officer CHris Brackin all agreed that the hand writing of the school work was very similar to the writing that was photographed on the bathroom wall. Epically similar was the letter K, and how Russell Greer made his lower case b in the form of a 6.

At approximately 1330 hrs on 12-8-09 Russell Greer was asked to meet with this officer and Officer Chris Brackin at the Evanston High School office. Russell Greer was first questioned to see how things were going, and that we were concerned about this recent drop in grades and behavior. Russell was also informed that he did not have to talk with us, but that this was a matter of school security. Russell stated that he would talk and stated he would be glad to help. This officer then informed Russell that a writying was found on one of the restrooms that was very threatening, and that we believed he may be the person who wrote this writing. Russell immediately stated that he did, but could not remember exactly what was written. Russell further stated that he wrote something about bringing a gun and 8 people. This officer then asked Russell if he would be able to show us what bathroom he wrote this writing and where in the bathroom he wrote it. Russell then took Officer Brackin and my self to the main restroom across from the main office. Russell then went to the very last stall closest to the tiled wall and informed us that this was the stall. This Officer then asked Russell to show where on the stall he wrote the writing. Russell then pointed to where the writing was and stated to the effect that it's gone pointing to the very location where the writing was before being cleaned off.

Russell was then asked to come back to the office. Once there, Russell completed a statement of rights waiver. Russell then agreed to complete a written confession, and again confessed to what he had done. It should also be mentioned that during this time Officer Bracking asked Russell what tool he used to make the writing. Russell replied that he used a pencil, this being consistent with the material on the wall.

Russell Greer was then taken into custody, transported and booked into the Uinta County Jail after having a meeting with his mother, and Principal Bennett. An Affadavit of information was completed and returned to the Uinta County Attorney for prosecution.

It was also be mentioned that Russell never gave a reason why he wrote this other than stating that he had a bad day. His confession states that he had been teased, harassed, and bullied because of his disability. Russell further states he actually tried twice to commit suicide by hanging himself. Russell further stated that one time he actually put a rope around his neck and tried to choke himself.

'''From ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'':'''

''Parts that are complete and utter bullshit are in red''.

Since high school had become unbearable, I would frequently excuse myself to take prolonged restroom breaks to control my anxiety with deep breaths and to clear my mind. On the 3rd of December 2009, as I was taking one of my breaks, my cell phone buzzed. I had received a text message from the student council president reminding me of the Christmas assembly on the 19th that I was supposed to help out at since I was on student council. I scoffed. "I won't be here," I said to myself as I put the phone in my pocket. I then felt it. I felt the thing that would change my life forever: a pen. Senior pranks were a huge thing at my high school. It was a rite of passage; almost a graduation requirement to pull a prank. A horrible prank came to mind: "what if I pretend there's going to be something bad happening on the day I'm in surgery?" I my stupid mindset, I somehow thought that this was a good idea. I pulled the cap off the pen and began to write words I wish to never repeat; to never think about on the bathroom wall. I left the bathroom, but stopped, thinking about what I had written; urging myself to go back, seeing the video camera filming me outside of the bathroom. For some dumb reason, though, I returned to class and shrugged it off.

After school, as I drove my slowly falling apart 1995 Bonneville Pontiac away, I saw more police cards parked at the school than there were usually were. The prank worked. Surely, school would be shut down early and everybody would have a longer Christmas break. I would be a hero, though, I hoped I wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The weekend came and nothing happened. It wasn't until Monday, when the school week started again, that there were rumors of a hit list. "My sister won't come to school," I overheard one girl terrifyingly say.

"I heard this person wants to kill ten people," another student said in the hallway.

Now I became confused. I never wrote a hit list or named any specific people. I just simply said a disaster was going to happen on December 19th. I soon felt sick to my stomach. This was not what I wanted at all. I just wanted school cancelled early for everybody. In my mind, I thought what I did was harmless. It was just words with no plan or anything. It was morbidly funny because I wouldn't even be at school the day of the "planned" disaster. My words backfired. There were no signs of school being cancelled either. Before I knew it, the school police officer, Chet, crept up on me and put his hand on my back during my Geometry class. "Come with me," the officer said in a deep, commanding voice. The entire classroom gasped as I was led away. I felt lower than dirt.

As Chet and another officer interrogated me inside of a conference room of the administration section of the schbool, a crowd of students began forming outside of the offices, cellphones ready to record "the terrorist". "You're a good kid," Chet said to me, after I had confessed to everything. "You're always involved in school activities [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|and you play the piano so well]]. We'll try to get you off without any charges." Unfortunately, the District Attorney of Evanston, the school superintendent and the police chief thought that I was indeed a terrorist. My mother and I sat outside of the conference room as these three men and Chet discussed my fate. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, the leaders of the city filed out of the conference room, glaring at me. Chet beckoned my mother and I into the room. "Mr. Greer," Chet said very slowly, in a painful voice. "I'm so sorry, but can you please put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest."

My whole world suddenly stopped. Everything was in a haze as I turned around with my hands behind my back. My mother began sobbing. Chet led me out of the conference room in handcuffs. As he led me away to his police car, we passed the crowd of students who began taking pictures with their phones. Before I knew it, I was sitting in a small, concrete jail cell that had a bed and a metal toilet and sink, thinking that all was lost. I later learned that two other kids had seen what I had written on the wall and they thought it would be funny to create a kill list that went along with what I had written. They listed people that I had never even met or even heard of. In a twist of irony, these kids were never arrested for what they did. It was a giant nightmare that wouldn't end.

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Barnard's friends try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell v. Chad: Battle of the Special Ed. Teacher==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. [[Chad]]. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 32.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
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Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

File:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg

2024-12-27T06:26:51Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

Russell Greer

2024-12-27T06:26:38Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: /* Oh, no! The special ed. teacher won't go out with me! */

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Horny_Manlet.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-LeadsToMore.png|thumb|right]]
'''Russell Godfrey Greer''' is notable for being the thirstiest ding in Utah. Your typical [[nice guy]], Russell feels that women should be treated as his personal property (this is unsurprising as Russell is {{age|1991|3|7}} years old and has never been with a woman whose [[vagina|time]] he didn't have to pay for) and that, as a [[Chris Chan|desperate manchild]] he is entitled to <s>fuck hot bitches</s> go on "[[rape|dates]]" and, hey, [[Invisible Intent|"if it leads to more then awesome"]]. Yeah, 'ol Russ is about as subtle as a fart in an elevator after someone asks, "Do you smell popcorn?".
 

But this train(able) wreck doesn't end here, not by a long shot. You see when Russell doesn't get [[Pussy|what he wants]] he starts autistically screeching like a howler monkey, flipping over virtual tables to try and trap hot young celebrities underneath. At night, the "[[pity sex|discrimination]]" lolsuits come. Like a litigious rendition of Eminem's "Stan" this retard loves playing space lawyer, has zero filter, endless amounts of objectified obsession and enough invisible dignity to cause cringe cramps in even the most stalwart of [[dramacrats]].
 

==I Hash A Dishabilooty==
[[Image:Greer_Russell-Interdasting.jpg|thumb|right]]
Russell was rightly punished by God with a rare physical deformity that makes him look like Beaker the muppet on top of being inflicted with severe social retardation, because God has a fun sense of humor like that. No, but seriously, his mom was probably a drunkard or there wasn't enough chlorine in his end of the gene pool or maybe she just couldn't quite figure out how to operate a clothes hanger. Well, what the fuck ever, regardless of how he wound up as the punchline to nature's cruel joke, Russell isn't one to let his gerbil looking genetics get in the way of his righteous love quest!

In fact, Russell routinely attempts to monetize his physical deformities in the guise of playing the "disability card" which he uses to constantly excuse his bad social behavior, to demand [[sex|special treatment]] and to wallow in self-entitlement whilst shitting his pants with unwarranted self-importance. He's the kind of retard who runs in the Special Olympics and thinks he should be considered God's gift to sports because he managed a mediocre title in the "factory seconds" division of humanity's evolution.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Refusing_Pity_Sex_Is_Illegal.png|center]]
{{clear}}

==Trying Too Hard==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard.png|thumb|right]]
Like most male mental aberrants of the "awkward ass-face" variety, Russell has a seriously skewed perception of women and relationships that's best described as "The Gentleman Sandnigger". This approach treats women like fragile objects, property to be obtained and controlled, but being really nice and sweet about it. Sort of like a sentient Care Bear plushie that turns out to be the reincarnation of Ted Bundy or a severely retarded, physically impotent version of [[Elliot Rodger]]. Basically harmless for the most part, but severely fucked in the head any way you want to look at them.

In Russell's case this manifests in the form of trying to impress pop idols and pole dancers by wearing fancy suits, dumping money on them and then acting all confused and flustered when they don't want to come home with him like a lost puppy in need of an owner that looks like his face got in a fight with a tackle box.
 

{{cg||tryhard|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard1.png|You should love him because [[srsly|he thinks he legalized prostitution]].
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard2.png|Harassing Lyft drivers with unwanted advances.
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard3.jpg|[[Translation|'I'm sorry it's my birthday and my mom died and my dog ran away and please have sex with me!']]
Image:Russell_Greer-TryHard4.png|He totally meant to be awkward, it was "[[social experiment|research]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 
{{clear}}

==I'll Sue!==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits4.png|right|thumb|]]

Russell flunked his way through college and wound up with a participation pity degree in legal errand running, eventually landing unpaid positions as "house tard" and "retard quota" in order to facilitate public relations appearances at a couple lesser known law firms. Russell of course deluded himself into believing he was on his way to becoming a really real lawyer, however things eventually fell all apart and he wound up working at Costco unloading boxes... in the back... where customers don't ever have to interact with him.

Interacting with Russell is not something you ever want to do, especially if you're female. Why? Because if you don't humor his overly cringe ridden sexual advances... he'll sue you. Not just you, he'll sue EVERYTHING! Your parents, your pets, your random acquaintances, that guy you once gave a stick of gum to, hell he's probably going to sue [[you]] just for reading this article!

This freakish abomination has sued so many people just in the past year there's not even room enough to list them all in this article! So we'll stick to his "celebrity lolsuits" for the sake of brevity.
{{clear}}

===Farrah Abraham===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Farrah_Abraham.jpg|thumb|right]]
One of his first celebrity lolsuits came in the cringe crashing aftermath of his attempt to "win a date" from a social media contest that Farrah Abraham put on. His original video entry to Farrah's contest was submitted in September of 2014, which he then posted on her Twitter feed... 

<center><youtube>6CSkGQyvBKE</youtube></center> 

Unfortunately whatever flunkie intern she had running her celebrity Twitter account at the time foolishly 'liked' that video, which was like throwing a grease fire on Greer's gassed up ego, which then encouraged him to make another disturbing date demanding video... 

<center><youtube>rSAZ9iWHOHc</youtube></center> 

At that point her PR department started to wisen up and realized egging on and encouraging the mentally emaciated wasn't such a stellar judgement on their part and simply started ignoring Russell completely. By that point though Russtard was all in, his head was so far up Farrah's ass he could have given her a free colonoscopy and so when she foolishly refused to go on the date with him he immediately started threatening to sue her for disability discrimination. 

===America's Got Talent===
His vendetta against Farrah was briefly interrupted in December 2014 when he planned to go on America's Got Talent and win with the following act (he was to narrate the PowerPoint presentation whilst sat at a piano before breaking out into a dance)... 

<center><youtube>JQ-7BFqMs8A</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>dTMo2XqA3fQ</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>c4EkYDKX-8E</youtube></center> 

Of course, he never made it past the first audition (obviously), so he then tried to sue the production company for, you guessed it, disability discrimination! Starting to see a pattern? 

===Heidi Klum===
At this point he briefly turned his attention back to Farrah, before dropping his lolsuit a few days before it was meant to be heard in court, stating he had more important things to concern himself with, like making this pitch to Heidi Klum... 

<center><youtube>FsSphkRdH8Y</youtube></center> 

Needless to say she didn't respond, so once again he threatened to sue for disability discrimination.

Russell's retard routine should be more than obvious at this point. It follows the general progression of...
*1. Randomly fixate on a famous/wealthy person.
*2. Produce some mediocre media dedicated in some way to them.
*3. Insert lots and LOTS of "magical thinking", disconnected comparisons, and other NPD shit.
*4. Realize they're not paying any attention to him.
*5. Play the "Disability Card" and try and garner pity points.
*6. Fuck everything up by lashing out when he isn't getting what he wants while threatening to sue for discrimination.
*7. Rinse and repeat.
*8. ???
*9. NO PROFIT?!?!
 

===Ariana Grande===
[[File:Russell-greer-suing-ariana-grande-for-not-complimenting-his-suit.png|thumb|right|An actual reason for his lawsuit was she didn't compliment his suit.]]
At one point Fish Face went to an Ariana Grande concert where he paid a whole bunch of money for a "special backstage meet and greet", but apparently Russell didn't quite grasp what the word "special" meant and went to the concert dressed up in a suit like he was going to his high school prom, along with flowers and homemade arts and crafts to try and win over Ariana.

Russtard was of course laughed at and treated like he was rockin out an extra chromosome at the concert, but at the time he was too naive and clueless to realize what a fool he made of himself. After the concert he pined on about how it was one of the best nights of his life and how he was so excited about getting his picture taken with Ariana with other assorted delusions of grandeur, believing he had really wooed her with his "nice guy" charms.

Once he realized of course that the arts and crafts kiddy crap he gave her wasn't leading to a magical music contract and once he saw her other pictures with fans he suddenly started on a downward spiral of loathing and litigation towards the starlet.

First it was disability shaming, then assault by security, then her not complimenting his suit, then came accusations that her eyes were closed because she couldn't stand to look at him, then it was she doesn't care about anybody because she didn't fuck him right then and there, then the story was about how he had to hold himself back from using his beefy "perfect 10" body to destroy little Ariana and how awesome he was for showing so much restraint for not chimping out and then the latest twist being how he could have single handedly stopped the bombing at her concert if only he had sued her sooner, because [[delusions|reasons]]. Pretty soon he'll be saying he's the best for not setting off a bomb of his own even though she obviously deserves it for ignoring him and not becoming his boyfriend.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_5.png|center]]

All his crazy thoughts are completely justified of course and you're just being rude and intolerant towards trainables if you say otherwise! 

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This saga is of course filled with derpy delusions and shit that never actually happened, as Russell has continually attempted to over exaggerate every miniscule moment hoping he will somehow impress upon his obsession and somehow scare her into submission, because that's just the way creepy fucktards like Russell roll. Hence the reason he posted several dozen lolsuit threats and summons threats before he ever actually even got around to doing it. And then even after he did it he has relentlessly regurgitated retarded renditions of this whole, "I don't want to sue you, but I have to sue you to save you from yourself and make you realize how important I am!"

It's some pretty twisted shit boy lemme tell ya... 

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Like all of Russell's lolsuits he of course has a litany of completely unreasonable, largely nonsensical "demands" that read like they were written by a horny retarded manchild with zero self-restraint. Which of course his crazy brain quantifies as being perfectly acceptable, to the point where he honestly cannot even begin to fathom why she would not give him an apology for doing nothing wrong while bending over backwards to become his personal simpering sex slave sweetheart. 

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Of course Dribbles also has EVIDENCE! He's not just making blind accusations here, he actually has really real totally tangible PROOF tha-no, no he really doesn't actually. Most of his "evidence" is basically just him being a sexually frustrated downsy dipshit flailing about with random finger pointing in an overly desperate attempt at trying to garner attention from important people. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_EVIDENCES_10.png|500px|center|We hope it's not going to be a literal smoking gun.]]

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As stated before, Russell's underlying intentions are primarily rooted in attention seeking and when he starts to suspect that whatever he's doing isn't getting him the attention he craves he suddenly switches gears and tries a new spin. At one point this came in the form of suddenly trying to pass his idiocy off as a "jus trollin guv, honest I wuz" and in turn attempted to reach out to Breitbart of all places, hoping they would do a story on him and his tilting at celebrity windmills. As usual, he was ignored, because nobody wants anything to do with a basket case who drools all over himself. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_SOCIAL_EXPERIMENT.png|center]]

Russell's NPD gives him a nasty habit of trying to make everything all about him, no matter how disconnected or unrelated it might be, Russell will find a way to paint himself into the picture, often in especially cringe ridden ways. Probably the worst came in the wake of the bombing that occurred at one of Aria's concerts in the UK. Russell was quick to jump right on the event with some choice single-player dick licking as he wistfully imagined himself as the potential hero figure who could have single handedly stopped the attacks if only he had sued Aria quicker... because [[delusions|reasons]]. 
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_BOMBING_1.png|center]] 

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And of course, like all his attention seeking suits (both literal and legal), there's plenty of pining for news coverage, which often comes in the form of harassing the shit out of all the local affiliate stations; to the point where they have to keep their fuckin doors locked and only let people in by appointment. This led to at least one rather hysterical instance in which Russell stood outside with his fugly face all creeped the fuck up into the window as he screamed for autistic attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_2.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Grande_NEWS_1.png|center]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_5.png|center]]
 

===Taylor Swift Gave Me PTSD===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor-PTSD.png|right|thumb|[[Thanks Obama|"Oh and we can all thank Taylor for giving me PTSD."]]]]
It didn't take long of course for Pervy Stroke-Face to become distracted by his next <s>victim</s> "celebrity crush"... Taylor Swift. Which started with him trying to raise some money via crowd funding campaigns to have a shitty song he wrote professionally produced for her... 

<center><youtube>Few210pRdYk</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BV85V37QGKU</youtube></center> 

Which, not surprisingly, failed to raise any money (at all) and he was forced to go back to saving up his allowance to pay for the song production himself.

Eventually he saved up enough money to have some third rate production company churn out a slightly less shitty version of his ham handed hack job, which he sent to Taylor with the following video... 

<center><youtube>AvXbeIA2pCE</youtube></center> 

Taylor of course still refused to pay him any attention, which sent him off into a screeching tard-rage tantrum, eventually culminating in him filing numerous lolsuits, largely citing discrimination. Apparently in Retard Land having a disability means that every person on the planet MUST give you attention and bend over backwards to cater to your every whim or else the moon courts will try you for dishoobilootee discrimunashons and take all your money away, you selfish, retard ignoring, jerk-face!
{{clear}}

{{cg||taylor|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Lolsuits1.png|The "crisis hotlines" diagnosed his PTSD.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor1.png|You destroyed your own life bud, it was all you.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor2.png|Making harassing calls to her manager at midnight.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor3.png|Obsess much?
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor4.png|Yeah because that's totally not creepy at all. ಠ_ಠ
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor5.png|Stan's coming for you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg|Yes, he's even written a book about his lolsuit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor7.png
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As you probably expected, this didn't end well for poor retarded Russell...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_3.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_5.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_4.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_1.png|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Wins_2.png|right|thumb]]
You can see the progression as his [[NPD]] kicks into high gear and puts him right on the rebound, even after getting rightly booted up the ass by a judge. Which brings us to Taylor Swift LOLsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo, where in Russell doubles down like a faggot in a fat ass, this time declaring that he'll sue her in [[Serious business|FEDERAL]] court! For...
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Doctor_Autism.jpg|center]]
 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_7.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Doubling_Down_11.png|center]]
 

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EVIDENCES! Don't let that gaping maw fool you, Russell isn't about run retarded right on into another judicial pole! This time he's got ALL the evidences!
 

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Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor8.png|He's citing the studies!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor9.png|He's got the proofs!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor14.png|Such cunning wit! She's sure to be impressed!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor16.png|Oh yeah, he's "got this"... totally!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor17.png|Rusty has got this all figured out now!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor19.png|The money must already be in the mail!
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|}}
 

Somewhere downs the retard road though Russell realized he wasn't getting the attention he wanted with his grandiose claims of revenge litigation, at which point he started making demands! Like an infuriated man-child threatening to hold his breath if he doesn't get his way, Russell started harassing local news stations, autistically ooking at them for attention and demanding that they be present when he wanders around aimlessly and confused at the courthouse. As you've already guessed, that, too, did not go over well for our hero, Sonic The SpEd Hog...

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_1.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_2.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_3-crop.png|center]]

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_News_4.png|center]]
 

As we've covered before, Russell is about as transparent as freshly cleaned glass and as such clearly gives himself and his true intentions away at every inopportune time. In this sordid saga things became crystal clear when Russell was suddenly made aware of the fact that Taylor was, in fact, NOT a "[[CWC|boyfriend free girl]]" and had, in fact, been dating a <s>super cute</s> disgusting pig guy for much of the time he was furiously attempting to woo her with his minimum wage wiles and creative crayon coloring!

Russell was NOT a happy camper! He immediately started screaming obscenities at an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood_at_the_2012_Republican_National_Convention empty name tag], furiously labeling her as a "piece of crap" that "just doesn't learn" (the hilariously irony sailing right on over his malformed head), he went on to randomly lash out at her like an angry virgin that just got friend zoned by the prom queen, leaving absolutely no question as to what was going through his pervy mind the entire time he was <s>stalking</s> "wooing" her.
 

{{cg|Jellyraged Donuts||center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_1.png|He could have SAVED you!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_2.png|Where is his dishabilootee?!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_3.png|Introspection is completely lost on poor Russell.
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_4.png|Get the news cameras, Russell is holding a press conference on this shit!
Image:Russell_Greer-Taylor_Boyfriend_5.png|Even showing affection to kids gets his panties twisted up tight.
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===Ariana Grande Update - 8/2/2017===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_The_Smoking_Gun.png|thumb|The "smoking gun" Russell mentioned in a prior post, it's the blurry back left quarter of a nondescript bald head who allegedly assaulted him! Game over, Ari!]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_1.jpg|thumb|Other evidence used against Russ was this initial post he made about his experience, which he never even attempted to delete/hide.]]
The much anticipated lawcow event of the year finally came to an epic conclusion, with Russell losing of course, but beyond the obvious the devilish delight is in the demonstrable details and that's what we strive to bring you here on ED. Early on there was worry that Russ might have had a rare moment of lucidity and wouldn't show up at all, but it turned out that he had simply set his alarm for the wrong time. No, you didn't misread that, Russell was late to his own court case because [[Facepalm|he didn't bother to double-check when the case was actually scheduled for]]. He actually gave this as an excuse to the judge and offered to show him his phone with the incorrect time set, as if that would somehow make his epic stupidity any less profound!

Right off the bat Russ got a lecture from the judge about threatening posts he had made on social media, with the judge telling him that he could be arrested and found in contempt of court.

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Ariana_Court_-_Evidence_Used_Against_Him_2.png|500px|center]]

He tried his best to explain that "there will be blood" is the title of a movie and he was totally being sarcastic. He was then confronted about the threats he made to kick the defense attorney's ass and he said he couldn't recall making that post. The judge then told him that if he had to spend ten minutes looking for the post that Rusty was going to spend ten minutes in the courthouse jail cell. Spergface quickly corrected himself and said he only recalled two posts where he had used the word "ass". The defense attorney, Greg Skordas, then provided a copy of the post where Russell said he was going to "Knock the lawyer on his ass with my evidence." which the judge then entered into evidence. Russ got a bit flustered at that point and said something about it not being literal and the judge sort of dropped it at that point.

The gist of that exchange was essentially a classic psychological test largely used on children and the mentally deficient to determine if they have some semblance of remorse/regret/guilt over their actions by using harsh/intimidating language along with threats of punishment. If the subject responds in fear it means they understand that their actions could have negative consequences and that they aren't a complete and total sociopath/ding. If the subject is withdrawn, lacks emotional response and is completely apathetic to the threats of punishment then it indicates that they don't fully comprehend the shit that they're in, are likely sociopathic and not mentally competent enough to even represent themselves in court.

The case was ultimately dismissed on lack of cause of action, subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction matters. The judge was very patient and gave Russhole plenty of opportunities to explain the merits of the case for each of those issues. Because he couldn't it was determined that the lolsuit was filed in bad faith and without merit, much to Rusty's drooling objections that he had indeed filed the lolsuit in good faith. The judge then had to explain to him that it was a legal term and that it doesn't matter if he felt it was in good faith or not (facts over feelings).

The judge and defense attorney then brought up his other lawsuits as evidence/facts, specifically the time when he sued Taylor Swift and said he would drop the lawsuit if she went on a date with him. Essentially establishing a pattern of insincerity and deceptive pretense.

Most of the time was spent with the judge trying to get Russell to explain what his cause of action supposedly was with the retard just reiterating his same sob story like a broken record. The judge had to repeatedly remind him that he wasn't interested in evidence at that time, just the cause of action, but for some reason Russell couldn't quite grasp the difference between the two (despite having a degree as a paralegal).

Ultimately the judge dismissed the case with prejudice and fined Russell fifteen hundred bucks in fees to cover Aria's attorney and he solemnly nodded along in defeat as the judge explained the fine to him. After the case ended he stood outside the courtroom for about a minute, either expecting a reporter or someone important to come talk to him, or he was thinking about going postal but then decided against it when he realized the bailiff was within ten feet and watching him like a hawk, just itching for an opportunity to taze the rage-tard.

The very first thing Russ did of course after losing was to immediately disable his FB account, which he frequently does out of narcissistic need to try and control people's conversations about him... that and he needed time to try and cover up all his blatant bullshit...

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=="Nice Guy" Russell: Creepy Stalker Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Stalking.png|right|thumb|His current selection of potential victims on FaceBook.]]
Ladies, let's get this out of the way right now, if you are in any way beautiful or attractive by present social standards, you are REQUIRED to subjugate yourselves as the personal playthings of the mentally retarded. To even suggest otherwise is to shame and discriminate against "nice guys" like Russell who are entitled to your bodies because God rolled dice with their DNA and lost (badly).

This is the world Russell lives in. This is his mentality, his perception, his belief...
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_11.png|center|]]

In Russell World the deficiently-abled are to be revered as special class citizens whose rights and wants automatically usurp those of anyone else in society. In short, the needs of the mentally crippled outweigh the needs of the normal... and right now Russell NEEDS your body. Molesting and raping you against your will is necessary to relieve Russell of his raging VTSD or Virginal Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Russell's self-serving, unwarranted self-important self-entitlement isn't actually unique and is in fact an ever growing problem in our society as a whole. It is the result of parents knowing their child is disabled and making sure every last living thing is aware of it 24/7. Constantly shoehorning their dysfunctional depravity into every single circumstance imaginable, treating their child like a pet cause rather than a person.

Those like Russell are taught that their disability isn't something to compensate for and contend with, to push themselves harder so they can match the same standards everyone else lives by, but rather something to celebrate as a "get out of any problem free" card to be cashed in whenever life isn't giving them whatever they want.

If his adoptive parents have a Facebook timeline it's likely filled with flashbacks to when they first found out their surrogate sperg was going to arrive disabled and downsy, jerking off the situation and milking it for pity points and praising pats for being so brave and strong. Wow, so inspirational! Saving the world, one adopted reject at a time!

In all fairness, Russell likely would have turned out a much better person if he had been dumped off into an underfunded orphanage for failed abortions.
 

{{cg||niceguy|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_1.png|Getting banned from Lyft.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_2.png|U WNT SUM FCK?
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_3.png|Calling out high school crushes for ignoring him.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_4.png|He's a "9" ladies, don't let those looks fool you!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_5.png|Russell doesn't at all understand how this could have possibly occurred.
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_7.png|He only dates beautiful women, sorry, no fuglies!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_8.png|Russell decides to stalk a beauty pageant!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_9.png|Katy Perry is his "next move".
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_10.png|That total bitch!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_12.jpg|Date me! You "AIDS infested jerk"!
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_13.png|"[[CWC|Boyfriend free]]" only!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Violent Rage Tard Edition==
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_4.png|thumb|right|He sure does hope nothing bad happens to them...]]
On a number of occasions Russell has attempted to summon his retard strength as a means of attempting to appear edgy, unpredictable and "serious business", however his flabby physique and indignant impotence make him come off looking more like the incredible Bulk than the angry Hulk. Despite being as obviously weak physically as he is mentally Russell does put on a good show, often involving a mix of murderous ideations and wishful revenge upon those that didn't take the effort to humor his half-witted need to be the center of all attention. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_7.png|center]] 

The defining taint of Russell's personal brand of butt flustered, crybully cringe comes as a result of the self-victimizing delusions rampant within his Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This "magical thinking" allows Russ to create an infinite assortment of ridiculously incongruent comparisons, often attempting to equate the most harmless and benign of circumstances with the most unimaginable pain and suffering.

These disgustingly depraved associations of course make Russell come off as being a heinously vile sociopath at worst, at best a literal man-child who can't think beyond his own self-serving circumstances who thinks his own personal toddler level wants are more important and pressing than any other problem presently in existence. 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_6.jpg|He thinks being compared to a rapist is hilarious.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_2.png|He feels like Batman.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_1.png|Campy, flabby, 60s Batman apparently.
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_3.png|Claims he almost went full retard on Ariana Grande.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Death_Threats.png|He's gonna STRANGLE those darn dirty trolls!
Image:Russell_Greer-Violent_Inclinations_5.jpg|Women who ignore "nice guys" are [[rape|asking for it]]!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: Super Rare Narcissist Edition==
[[Image:Russell-greer-manlet.jpg|thumb|right|Why else would Taylor Swift not want to date a 5 foot 2 inch manlet with an ill fitting suit and a megalomania disorder? Discrimination!!!!]]

Russell was probably told his whole life that he was more special and important than all the other kids. He was most likely sheltered, coddled, and catered to by the kind of parents that cranked out a batch in their bitch britches any time their special little mongoloid was excluded or ignored and it's probably where he picked up the habit of creating constant delusions of grandeur to suit his raging victim complex.

Another theory on why he's constantly high on himself is that it's a result of his heavy breathing halitosis; his lack of lip control making him unable to contain the constant waft of foul air formed from his continually drying saliva secreting from his gaping maw.

Despite being largely talentless, desperately reaching for the attention of important people, working a minimum wage job and being completely incapable of ever kissing or making out with another human being... ever, Russell believes himself to be God's perfect gift to hot women everywhere. He'll settle for no less than absolute physical perfection, despite the fact that he, himself, is about as physically perfect as a pit-bull with mange and a missing leg.

Russ is basically the little retard who cried discrimination. He's an object lesson in a lack of humility and habitual hubris. The proverbial spokes-retard for Narcissists Anonymous. When he's not engaged in solo-style pud sucking self-gratification he's running around making ineptly inappropriate inferences, convoluted comparisons and disconnected delusions between his exploding ego and the world at large. Whether it's comparing his assumed slights to people blown up by bombs, or his delusions regarding disabled children channeling away his coveted encounters with celebrities, Russell is in a never ending race through life to make everything all about him. 

[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_1.jpg|center|500px]] 

===The Classic Signs Of NPD===
Not surprisingly Russell constantly and continually shows every sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder there is. Not only does he have every single hallmark of the psychiatric disorder there are dozens upon dozens of clear cut examples in which these behaviors aren't just noticeable but practically screaming off the page. Presented here is just a small sampling of instances in which Russell has acted as the poster personality for NPD. He isn't simply an example, he is, quite literally, the very fucking definition of the disorder:

*Two Faced (disparages and attacks friends/family behind their backs)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_28.png|center|]]

*Blames Lack Of Success And Failures On Others
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_3.png|center|]]

*Irresponsible (filing frivolous lolsuits)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_7.png|center|]]

*Lives In A Fantasy World
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_13.png|center|]]

*Is Addicted To Fantasy Oriented Behavior
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_20.png|center|]]

*Lies, Distorts Facts And Changes Events To Suit Their Own Agenda (creates sock accounts to 'like' his own posts)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_18.png|center|]]

*Cuts Off Emotionally If They're Not Getting Something They Want
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_30.png|center]]

*Lacks Sympathy For Others, Only Thinks Of Themselves
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_29.png|center]]

*Only Identifies With Beautiful Or Important People
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_10.png|center|]]

*Controlling
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_27.png|center|]]

*Provokes People And Then Blames Them For The Fight
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_15.png|center|]]

*Can't Admit Their Own Flaws Or Mistakes (projects them onto others)
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_16.png|center|]]

*Arrogant
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_11.png|center|]]

*Entitled
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_8.png|center|]]

*Envious Of Others Attention Or Success
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_14.png|center|]]
 

===Revising And Reimagining Reality===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-NPD_Editing.png|right|thumb]]
One of the main cores of NPD is what's called "magical thinking", where in the nutball will start revising and rewriting their perception of reality in their head, almost like playing "the telephone game" but [[masturbation|solitaire style]]. It's not simply that they're making up shit that never happened, because, to them, it actually did happen. It's a sort of self-reinforced delusional thinking that ever escalates their ego.

With Russell this often manifests visibly in the form of post editing. This is why when you go through any of his stuff on FaceBook you always need to check the "edit history" so you can see how this delusional progression plays out. In a recent example Russell apparently had a bit of a family intervention regarding his insane activities, that's driven him to make several 'I'm turning a new leaf!' style posts, where in he makes the claim that he's had some amazing bit of self-reflection and introspective thinking that only a genius like him could come up with!

However, if you look at the edit history you can easily discover that his new 'change of heart' had nothing to do with is own volition at all, but rather is a result of his family freaking out over all this shit and telling him that he needs to knock it off.

Instances like this have happened before, where he gets an intervention beat down and claims he's going to start acting normally, but for Russell working really hard to appear "normal" exhausts him and he'll revert back to who he really is eventually. He'll come back with some ego tripping tripe along the lines of, 'I don't care what people think. I have to be honest because so-and-so hurt me' and then the whole crazy parade will start up once again.

A leopard can't change its spots. Or more accurately, this man-dwarf can't change his zombie face.{{clear}}

===Assorted Examples===
{{cg||NPD|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_2.png|Russell shoves a stick into his bike wheel.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_4.png|His lolsuits are some serious fuckin business!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_5.png|He's all, "ME, ME, ME!"
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_6.png|He thinks he's friends with a federal judge.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_9.png|"[[fallacy|Tis true for thee, but not for me.]]"
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_12.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 400, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_17.png|*autistic reeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_19.png|"Important people support me!" (even though they're not aware you exist Russ)
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_21.png|He's got "swag" ladies! Contain your orgasms!
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_22.png|Russell is right, everyone else is completely wrong.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_23.png|Great, he's going to sue some sick children next.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_24.png|Feeling sorry for those he wants to exploit.
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_25.png|I'll take, "Shit that never happened for 500, Alex."
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_26.png|*autistic meeeeing*
Image:Russell_Greer-Magical_Thinking_31.jpg|Those selfish bombing victims!
</gallery>
|}}
 

=="Nice Guy" Russell: In Loving Memory==
On July 1, 2017, a nursing student from Utah named Bailee Barnard took her own life. Preceding this, Russell solicited a relationship with her over Facebook & Instagram. After she declined on the basis of having a boyfriend - and said boyfriend messaging Russell to back off - he began compulsively harassing her, taunting her for her "imaginary bf". After her suicide, he immediately deleted his harassing comments on his Facebook & her Instagram photos and announced to the world that he would dedicate ''Why I Sued Taylor Swift: and How I Became Falsely Known as Frivolous, Litigious and Crazy'' to Barnard. When her friends and family insisted that he not do this, he told them it was the best way to honor her, as her death was at [[Kiwi Farms]]' hands, the "result" of his story.

Aside from the fact that there is no evidence anyone from Kiwi Farms (or Taylor Swift) ever taunted her, people who actually knew her and were not just creepy guys stalking her online said her suicide had nothing to do with bullying. The only person in this story who publicly bullied Barnard before her suicide was Russell himself.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-NICE_GUY_6.png|Russell complains about her lashing out at his advances.
Image:1 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell mocks her for her boyfriend intervening.
Image:2 - Imaginary Boyfriend.jpg|Russell bombards her for her boyfriend not being in the frame.
Image:3 - Invisible Boyfriend.jpg|Russell circles back to torment her some more.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:4 - Kiwi Farms Fault.jpg|After his bullying victim's suicide, Russell announces it was Kiwi Farms.
Image:10 - Hijacking Suicide.jpeg|Russell hijacks Barnard's suicide for his own interests.
Image:5 - Russell Plans.jpg|Russell announces his plan to dedicate the book to his bullying victim.
Image:6 - Russell Plans More.jpg|Just for clarification, this is totally what a morally sane person does.
Image:7 - Russell's Bad Rationale.jpg|Barnard's friends try to pursuade Russell to not dedicate his book to her.
Image:8 - Russell's Worse Rationale.jpg|Russell insists he use this online stranger's image in his book.
Image:9 - In Loving Memory of Your Victim.jpg|Wow. He actually did it.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Oh, no! The special ed. teacher won't go out with me!==
[[Image:Greer-Stalking-Trial.jpg|thumb|right]]
No, to Russ' chagrin, this is ''a'' special ed. teacher and not ''his''. On June 19, 2019, Shitlips slithered in like a horny snail atop a slope of slobber, into the email inbox of one innocent Utah special ed. teacher named Erika Rae Albino. Accustomed to extending more grace than the Pope from her years of dealing with window-lickers, Erika let Russell talk with her for the beginning of a long-lasting, mutual friendship. He proposed getting milkshakes and since that's a favorite of her usual fare of bed-poopers & buggar-eaters, she gave him the thumbs up to a very special little man. Like everything else in his life, Russell took that inch and fucked a mile. He bombarded her around the clock from multiple numbers and social media accounts, accusing her of turning him away for being disabled and nice, despite the fact that he knew she had just broken up with her fiance, was dealing with a long-time friend's recent suicide and had a man she wanted to start a relationship with. Chad. Seriously. His name was Chad.

A woman who could find redeeming qualities in a balrog was beyond it. With his campaign trying to convince her to leave Chad was stamped out and he was told to cease contact by the legend himself, Russell posted Erika's pictures and personal information all over social media - and bragged to her about it. Before he could post to Reddit, the police showed up and Russell was charged with two counts of Electronic Communications Harassment. Greg "Based" Skordas represented Erika and with Russell pleading no contest, to avoid extensive prison time, Greer was slapped with a twelve-month restraining order and was officially labelled a cyberstalker.

If this seems like an exhausting and long affair, just remember that this transpired over a mere three weeks.

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 1.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Erika v Greer 5.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 19.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 20.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 21.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 41.jpg|Getting friendzoned inspires Russell to push for more prostitution.
Image:Erika v Greer 22.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 23.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 24.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 25.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 42.jpg|The "better option".
Image:Erika v Greer 26.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 27.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 28.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 29.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 30.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 31.jpg
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Image:Erika v Greer 33.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 34.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 43.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 35.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 36.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 37.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 44.jpg|You don't have to hire a mediator. The adult thing is to stop stalking her.
Image:Erika v Greer 38.jpg
Image:Erika v Greer 45.jpg|He tells her to stop "spreading lies" when she reported him for harassment.
Image:Erika v Greer 46.jpg|She doesn't take him up on his offer to an hero.
Image:Erika v Greer 47.jpg|Pretty sure she did run away from the obviously crazy person, Russell. Sound advice.
Image:Erika v Greer 48.jpg|A year after his parents' lawyer got him out of prison time, he lambasted them.
Image:Erika v Greer 39.jpg|"Greer doesn't have ANY victims", unless you count that one to five women in court documents.
Image:Erika v Greer 40.jpg|"Greer was showing that his actions were apparently normal". No annotations necessary.
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Russell's Got Talent==
===Writing===
[[Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Epic_Epic_Epic.png|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Russell_Greer-The_Evil_Gene.png|thumb|right|An example of Russell's "epic" writing.]]
On occasion Rat Mouth has attempted to put his delirious thoughts down on paper, picturing himself as an aspiring writer he's churned out a total of two self-published "books", which we have to put into quotations here because they aren't so much books as they are a random collection of meandering screed shoveled together into a shit pile. Which he then plastered onto Amazon to be picked up by his doting adoptive mother, possibly his fellow adopted sister and quite likely also purchased by several of Russell's sock personalities he created to give himself high-fives.

He once posted a screenshot of his royalties to date, which was like $4 and some change. Like many things Russ has posted he was at first really proud and elated by this lack of accomplishment, until he got smacked across his idiot face real hard with every other person on his "friends" list laughing at him. At which point he very quickly took it down and then pretended it never happened.

The first "book" he wrote covered his totally amazing delusions regarding his imagined attempts at legalizing prostitution in the Mormon capital of the world, which basically amounted to little more than Russ drooling on about how retards like him can't lose their virginity unless they're able to pay someone to purge them of their pent up pussy privation. Just a fair warning, it goes into disgusting and disturbing detail of his <s>first</s> only (paid) sexual experience. You won't ever forget it, and NOT in a good way.

The second "book" he wrote is about his lolsuit against Taylor Swift, which essentially amounts to a dozen or so pages of virgin rage in written form, in which he compares Taylor to Nazis and fantasizes about her physically assaulting him with her complete and total lack of fucks given (both literal and figurative). The cover consists of a picture of Taylor he took without permission slathered up with a gaudy Comic Sans looking font with a title that reads like a proud toddler who managed to keep from messing themselves. Taylor wow, Russ is a thirsty BIG BOY now!

He also once compiled what he called a "comic book" that he created for Ariana Grande, which was basically just a Power Point presentation with a default stock comic theme in which he went on about wanting to woo Aria with his babbling bullshit and star in his upcoming imaginary screen play involving terrorists at an amusement park in which she defuses a "biological bomb" that's going to destroy the amusement park... and Hollywood also... because "reasons". One assumes the "biological bomb" is in reference to Russell's rotting crotch space which needs "defused" or else he'll continue to tard-rage all over Hollywood with his Disneyland inspired revenge lolsuits, bringing about its total destruction.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up... 
<center><youtube>44JUQhGRO4E</youtube></center> 

If a biography were ever written about Russell it would go something like:

Guy is born with face so ugly even his own mother couldn't love him. Gets adopted by a living landwhale who racks up rejects uglier than she is; to ensure they'll be loving and grateful. Gets used as a retarded accessory throughout his childhood, in turn inflicting him with fuckhead syndrome. He now stocks shelves at Costco and sexually harasses hookers on Twitter. Once tried to sue... everybody, because he's stupid and it's all their fault. Once got fired from a job at a gym in Salt Lake City for following a female coworker into the ladies locker room. Once got slapped with a restraining order for stalking a stripper. The end.

SO INSPIRING! WHEN WILL NETFLIX BOOK THE 10 SEASON SERIES! 

{{cg|||center|<gallery perrow="4">
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Cover.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Reviews.png|The reviews are in...
Image:Russell_Greer-Brothel_Book.jpg|1 1/2 stars! Oh wow! BEST SELLER!
Image:Russell_Greer-Book_Sales_Rank.png|He's already sold ONE whole copy! (to himself)
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
</gallery>
|}}
 

===Dancing===
When your face looks like a bag of smashed assholes and you're a bit downsy I guess all you can do is dance your cares away, which is what Russell frequently retards on back to. Partly as an attempted distraction and partly to get attention, he frequently starts gyrating about in some sordid smashup between stemming and twerking that resembles something similar to an orthostatic seizure.

He's also been known to do the Downsy Dance during school presentations to try and distract attention away from the fact that he's a gawd damn dumbass. The results are pretty mixed, in one particular case his efforts earned him a solid C, which makes you wonder how bad of a grade he would have gotten without providing some semblance of monkey-man dancing entertainment. 

<center><youtube>_c3bvVwxBk8</youtube></center> 

===Music===
Russell fancies himself as something of a song writer and lyricist, however his actual attempts at making songs sound more like he's incoherently banging on the keyboard and his lyrics are as forgettable as the melody, which sounds like something he bitched off an oldies easy listening radio station. His efforts could best be described as Pop Elevator Music. Occasionally Russell has flushed good money down the poo pond and commissioned random lesser known talents to try and turn his corny crap into salable manure. This comes off as like spraying Febreeze in a bathroom during a diarrhea downpour... smells like a fragrant shitrus poo-pourri.

Not surprisingly every last one of his songs is about his thirsty ass wanting poon or imaginary poon wanting his thirsty ass. In one such song, "Safari Ride", which is apparently based on [[manchild|his favorite Disney Land ride]], he tells the imaginary story of a woman who was dating a thug black guy who then hooks up with a "nice guy" like Russ. Also, yes, it's pretty much as racist as it sounds:

https://soundcloud.com/russellgreer25/safari-ride-feat-breana-marin-produced-by-jordan-ware

Russell only likes the [[CWC|darkies]] if they're female and interested in becoming his personal sex bitch. On a number of occasions he's expressed nothing but contempt for black males, usually painting them up as thugs or bad boys ruining his "nice guy" chances. Whether he's genuinely racist or simply doesn't like additional competition, or some combination thereof, it's hard to say for certain. Given his level of autistic unawareness though he probably doesn't even comprehend or register how half the shit that comes out of his mouth can be easily construed as racist, bigoted or otherwise socially unacceptable. If clueless ignorance was candy Russell would be on his diabetic death bed gasping for another helping. 

==Russell's Dating Tips==
<center>[[Image:Greer_Russell-How_To_Get_Noticed.png]]<youtube>Z4FD3Nilpag</youtube></center> 

==Things That Resemble Russell==
{{cg||uncanny|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Chaz_Finster.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Artist_Rendition.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Napoleon_Dynamite.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Wonder.png
Image:Russell_Greer-Dog.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Fish_2.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Beaver.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Horse.jpg
Image:Bugs-bunny.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
 

==Gallery==
{{cg||general|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-Grease_Hair.jpg
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Russell_Greer-General_1.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_6.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_7.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-General_8.jpg
Image:Russell_Greer-Exploitable.jpg|[[Oh exploitable!]]
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Mormon Fallout.png
File:Russell Greer-Wishing Violence.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 3.png
File:Russell Greer-The Ride Never Ends.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Doxxes Himself Again.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor News 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 13.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 12.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Katy Perry 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 6.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Taylor Swift Video 4-Text.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 10.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 1.png
File:Russell Greer-Liking His Own Posts.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Jesyka Dereta 3.png
File:Russell Greer-Nice Guy.jpg
File:Russell Greer-Random 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Family.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 5.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 11.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Invisible Dignity 2.png
File:Russell Greer-Lolsuits3.png
File:Russell Greer-Trolls 7.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 9.png
File:Russell Greer-Random 4.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 8.png
File:Russell Greer-Stalking Strippers 2.png
</gallery>
|}}
 

==See Also==
*[[Joseph8276]]
*[[Dan Cilley]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Kevin Havens]] - illegitimate brother?

==External Links==
*{{fb|russ.greer.18|Russell Greer on Facebook}} - ''Give his posts some laughing reacts, he loves those!'' [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]] [[File:Facebook-laughing-react.png|16px]]
*{{instagram|Pianostud199125}} {{archive|GyTWz|Archive}}
*{{soundcloud|russellgreer25}}
*[[image:Quora-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions]] [https://www.quora.com/profile/Russell-Greer-1/questions '''Russell's Quora profile'''] {{archive|haeJq|Archive}}
*{{kfthread|russell-greer-james-berg-redmond-ross.30488|Russell Greer, Disabled Mormon sex worker advocate, nicest guy on Earth}}
*[[File:Amazon-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509]] [https://www.amazon.com/Making-Legal-Daughter-Complete-Stranger/dp/1520441509 '''His first book - Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks'''] {{archive|1rx5G|Archive}}
*[[File:Change-favicon.png|16px|link=https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music]] [https://www.change.org/p/scott-borchetta-convince-taylor-swift-to-record-a-disabled-man-s-music '''<s>Force</s> Convince Taylor Swift to Record a Disabled Man's Music'''] {{archive|FlK5x|Archive}}
*{{ytlink|gOMhN-hfMtY|Eminem - Stan (Long Version) ft. Dido}}
*[http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/laughs-oddities/256014-taylor-swift-harasser-also-pestering-ariana-grande-kylie-jenner-strippers.html '''Taylor Swift harasser also pestering Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner & strippers''']

{{timeline|Featured article July 31 & August 1, [[2017]]|[[Cultural Appropriation]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Seth Rich]]}}

[[Category:people]] [[Category:Dying Alone]] [[Category: Depressing]] [[Category:Abnormal Psych]] [[Category:Christianity]] [[Category:2017]]

File:Erika v Greer 48.jpg

2024-12-27T06:25:30Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

File:Erika v Greer 47.jpg

2024-12-27T06:25:13Z

BoyyyFromAlaska:

File:Erika v Greer 43.jpg

2024-12-27T06:25:01Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: BoyyyFromAlaska uploaded a new version of File:Erika v Greer 43.jpg

File:Erika v Greer 46.jpg

2024-12-27T06:23:43Z

BoyyyFromAlaska: