DOS

The New American DOS Sweat Shop

Entertainment on DOS revolved primarily around shooting cats in the face, just like in real life.

DOS consoles are used by HACKERS ON STEROIDS like Mike Sandy. (Computer Science III required.)

DOS, not to be confused with DoS, is an ancient Operating System ripped off from CP/M at least 100 years ago. There is much drama on the internets regarding exactly who invented DOS. Some argue that it was Jesus. Others say that it was some nob headed kid who jizzed on a Xerox machine and out exploded the bloody severed head of Sigourney Weaver. Marked by its exceptional ease of use -- and a whole lot of backslashing fun -- this operating system quickly became the crème de la crème of fucktards everywhere. Today, DOS is still in use by people that can't get over the fact that having an XT doesn't really mean you can run Lotus Spreadsheets like a pro with a Dot Matrix printer.

Note: As of January 22, 2007, Bill Gates himself told FOX, CBS, and MSNBC, that DOS was purchased from a crack whore, who got it from some hacker she had anal sex with, who thought of the idea when he saw a 3 year old kid making something with water colors and thought, "DOS!"

Acronym for Dumb Operating System, Defunct Operating System, Defective Operating System, and Dude Where's My Car.

Dos also means a fanatic Jew.

History

The nucleus of what would eventually become the steaming pile that is DOS was QDOS: the Quick and Dirty Operating System. It was written by Tim Patterson in a few weeks for Seattle Computer Products' computer kit (10Mhz, 16 bit 8086, up to 640k of RAM). Meanwhile, IBM was too Jew to buy the upcoming CP/M-86 for their new IBM-PC (4.7Mhz, 8 bit 8088, up to 256KB of RAM), and was also too lazy to make their own, so they hired Micro-Soft (they had a hyphen back then) to make a CP/M clone for them. Micro-Soft bought QDOS, renamed it MS-DOS, and sold it to IBM, starting their long history of making megabucks with marketing and without actually engineering anything. Digital Research threw a shitfit when they found out that everyone was copying their operating system, but everyone ignored them.

Obtaining DOS

1. Get Microsoft Virtual Machine
2. Install it
3. Obtain DOS Install disks of your choice (BROTIP: Use magnets for faster aquiring)
4. Install DOS on Microsoft VM
5. ???
6. PROFIT

Important DOS Commands

The following are important DOS cummands taht their victims cum onto while they sleep.

cummingze. And using a .zip file would be stupid. Use .tar.gz, .tar.bz2, or .7z. If you use 7-Zip you can view and extract your porn later if you open the image in 7-Zip.

cum makes you jizz jizz makes you ejaculate.

I have no friends is true

See Also

• Batch
• QBasic

External links

• DOSBox-an emulation of the original DOS, only it doesn't crash as often, also it's free
• MyAbandonware-another place where you can download DOS games! Also for free!