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AQ Worlds
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AQ Worlds is going to be fixed up later... So stay tuned! |
— Artix | ||
Adventure Quest (What an unique name) Worlds is an American trap MMORPG with the soul purpose of sucking away your younger adopted sibling's life and money.
It was a dark and stormy night in the secret underground facility and the AE team made up of evil jews. "I have one of the greatest money grubbing idea's jewkind has had since banks!" Announced Artix to his legion of scam artists. "We'll pose as a free flash MMORPG and lure in all the poor kids who can't afford World of Warcraft. Than we'll suck away the few dollars they have!" and at the moment of agreement amongst the Jewish community, AQWorlds was born.
AQWorlds is irreplaceable amongst the gaming community, and is played by over four people. AQW is also a crowd space for many scene kids, skater kids, and pedobear. These are actual kids, so destroy them before they can evolve into their teenager form. The game has a very special kind of humor, much like an adult or FBI agent trying to relate to 4channers.
— Artix | ||
Despite the fact that it's totally flash based they manage to lag your four thousand dollar PC more than Crysis just by adding a handful of pets into the game. AQworlds also shows the most advanced security system on the internet, which is made up of schoolyard tactics of bluffing in the design notes, which is also full of shameless self advertisement.
Story
The game follows a story of an epic battle between your player and the forces of chaos, which is ironically named considering its 100% predictable.
Every Friday they release the same exact thing over and over again, and is almost beating Final Fantasy in the field of repetition.
You get news of new Chaos Lords and have to fight thousands of easy creatures before you have to fight an animal or myth themed miniboss and finally the Chaos Lord.
Next friday you either get filler, despite the fact Artix said he wants to finish the main storyline as soon as possible, or you get the same thing repeated.
The only benefit to this is you get some pretty nice looking stuff, but then you realize it doesn't do anything and is just there for dress-up purposes.
Infact, pretty much all weapons and classes are exactly the same, meaning that this game is pretty much Stardoll with combat.
Every now and then the staff like to put a twist on things and release on Thursday instead of Friday! Wow!
Classes
Mage/Sorcerer: Holy fucking shit guise I how original is this thing? Liek I never seen it in MMO before. Ridiculously overpowered and will ass-fuck everything by pressing two buttons.
Warrior/Warlord: The ever unoriginal class newfags pick. Also overpowered as fuck and will rape everything in sight if used right.
Rogue/Renegade: Dodgefag ninja.
Ninja/Assassin: See above.
Healer/Acolyte: Christfag that heals shit. Durr.
Dragonslayer: A slightly shittier Warrior that works on Scalefags.
(Beta)Berserker: Some overpowered shit that you have to pay Jew for. There's a free one but you need to be a gay oldfag to get it.
DoomKnight: Expensive and underpowered WoW rip you have to pay Jew for.
Paladin: A fucked up aberration that happened when Artix fucked his dad]. The class got fisted by the moderator Furore who bawwed when it raped him in a fight.
Rustbucket: Moar liek cumbucket amirite? Broken and more useless than a woman out of the kitchen/bed. COMES WITH TWO OTHER CLONES (Enforcer and ProtoSartorium) HOW COOL!
ClawSuit: A fat fuck nigger Santa that shoves it's chode in little girls. Removed from the game because of bawwing players.
Leprechaun: Drunk-ass Irish cunt version of Rogue/Renegade.
Bard: Some laggy underpowered shit that the creators threw together as an excuse for a release.
Shaman: Overpowered and overused, Shaman class bent over any sort of balance in the game and fucked it harder than a nigger in a room full of 12 year old girls.
(Ass)Pirate/Alpha Pirate: Rogue with moar gay in it. See Leo.
Guardian: Some weak-ass shit that nobody uses.
Dragonlord: FUCK YOU, I'M A DRAGON!
Starlord: An overpowered dodgefag that lags.
Famous People
- Hancok: No-life sandnigger who spend his time dating girls online and paying for the same thing over and over. He gets "hacked" every few months, deleting all his items and crying to the fags on the game's forum. Hancok also loves to talk about his "stalkers" which are probably people he begged to "stalk" him.
- Dage the Evil: Retarded WoW fanboy who believes "art" is made by making things black and shoving skulls all over it. he tlaks lik dis nd rages wen u dont like his shitty remake design shit.
- Brittanyy: A two-faced cyberdater bitch who sucks mod dick really hard for personal favors. She claims to be "16" and lives in "Toronto, Canada". She's an ugly brace-faced bitch who online fucked about 12 nerds to get them to stand up for her in arguments.
- Elnaith: An online ladies man who spends all day trying to please sluts like Brittanyy. The only boob he ever touched IRL is his mother's and all his friends are 12 year olds who play Dungeouns and Dragons in his basement. He is fuckbuddies with Hancok, Brittanyy and Skydrite.
- Falconblaze: Some faggot who thinks he can hack and blow up computers and shit. A furfag who cyberdates and probably cries when he masturbates to small furry animals. Telling him he can't hack will make him shit bricks and rage at you.
- Picosa/Wept: Some random bitch who snitched on a bunch of people to get an item from the corrupt mod faggots. However she has huge tits which we all want to feel so she's kinda cool.
Features
- Have up to 4 Different attacks!
- Spend hours grinding in order to get to
level 10level 35. - Spend hours performing the same "kill X amount of monster" quest so you can afford a weapon you aren't a high enough level to use!
- Communicate with canned responses!
- Have a pet that doesn't help in anyway and bog down the frame rate!
- Take 5 minutes to rest and heal after every single fight!
- Participate in recycled holiday events!
- Engage in annoying "NOU PROVE ME WRONG" religious debate with Baron von Bloodlust!
No music!They have it now! Sounds like a duck and a goose being compressed together!- Shitty sound effects!
- Spend 50$ a year so you can actually do something!
- Wait 10 seconds to switch to another screen!
- Be ignored by high level 35's!
- Be asked to join a group 15 times after saying no!
- Having to listen to Leo for hours on end!
- Covering up cleavage on an NPC because it was too horny for Firearmed!
- Having a dildo as a quest reward!
- Annoying typos!
- Hardly any spoons!
- See cleavage and bare legs on every girl character!
- Incredible animation by Miltonius, famous lolicon/porn animator from the internetz!
- Have your own shitty cabaret show!
- Sucking corrupt moderator dick for favors!
- Get the shit annoyed out of you by Brazilians!
- Brittanyy giving free cybersex. Just type "/w brittanyy <message>" for this feature!
- Be able to talk to the tight ass jewfag known as Dracorath!
- Get banned by Xyo for not being part of his army of mindless sex slaves known as his fanbase!
- Be able to be a part of Dage's "Legion" filled with activities like prodding, sucking and stroking his inflated ego.
- Making masturbation jokes about Hancok's name.
Forums
A cornucopia of pedos, nerds, emos, kids way too young to be on a forum, furries, and dudes who take this game way too seriously make up the pits that are the forums. Members are surprisingly hostile to "noobs". Prime trolling material. [1]
Porn by Miltonius. And also what this MMO is based on. Hentai much?
Download link for the rape scene.
One of Miltonius' many whore designs.
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AQ Worlds is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
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AQ Worlds is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |