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Emoticon
As the name suggests, EMOticons (sometimes called smileys, which is ridiculous as not all of them are fucking smiling) are the only way to express human emotion OTI, as shortly after Al Gore invented the Internets, he passed a law stating that everything on it must be shortened to an acronym. Complex feelings, such as <3 and h8 are no exception, and so arose the age of the emoticon.
Origin of the :)
The smiley, like many other worthless inventions, was invented in Pittsburgh.
—Carnegie Mellon University message board, 19 September 1982 | ||
Because of the general IQ around CMU, it took a while to get across to the other students that he meant to look at it with your head tilted to the left, and not as a dick fucking the underside of a dome.
Common EMOticons
:)
The traditional "smiley". Used to denote a lack of ability to provide an intelligent response. Similar to lol.
(:
The reversed "smiley". Only girls and gays use these.
:(
Emo, usually suicidal tendency.
=]
:-)
Smiley with a nose. Most comonly used by your mom in funny emails she forwarded from the office.
:'(
Holy shit! Run before you get their whole emo life-story.
;(
Severely emotionally impaired, if someone uses this pretend you didn't see it. It's for your own safety, people.
O.o
Alien for the sentence: "I once used to be human, but four tentacles entered my ass, and one of them might enter you."
:*
The writer has been punched in the mouth. Or has an asshole mouth.
8)
The writer is looking at 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.
:D~~
The writer is drooling over 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.
:-J
The writer is Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC, preparing to bust someone drooling over 13 year old boys, loli or your mom.
<(^.^<)
Cry for help; direct to this website.
t('.'t)
Speaks for itself really. Correct response to any emoticon of the previous variety.
(>'.')>-I----- t('.'t)
Used whenever you want to rob someone with a sword over the internet.
(>^.^(>O_o)>
┌║┐(•_•)┌║┐
For saying "Fuck you" to the previous post.
:X
Commonly used to show that one's lips are sealed with packaging tape. Possibly BDSM, possibly kidnap victim. Probably both.
:P
The writer has some sort of disability that prevents keeping tongue in own mouth. Alternatively, the tongue might be in someone else's mouth.
>:(
The writer is angry. Or constipated. Or both.
:<
Homosexual cousin of >:(
:S
Someone skeeted or shit in or around the general vicinity of my mouth. Oht3hnoes.
D:
I'm sad. But I'll still suck your cock. Generally used by your mom.
<='C
:@
The writer is about to go down on a huge black cock.
;)
Wink and/or punch in the eye. Occasionally has sexual connotations.
(||)
A klarawagnerish girl.
:/
A shrug, sometimes showing a lack of satisfaction with a recent comment or service.
:|
Similar to the above, only much less satisfied.
:F
Similar to the above, only much moar Rootbrian.
:E
The current ultimate smiley.
8E
>:/
Josef Fritzl. Commonly used in Australia.
XD
This is a punctuation mark XD should be used at the end of every sentence XD see thirteen year old boy XD
P:
Tongue licking cum off face. Similar to DevianTart's :P smiley.
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
OGC
The most common response to getting on the internet.
'/////';
The Kaputsky.
:B
The writer is a redneck. Internet, moar like INBREDnet, amirite?
D8
:Q
Common response after one views Tubgirl for the first time.
\m/
The writer likes My Chemical Romance, or some equally faggy band.
$.$
Use this one when viewing Jailbait.
^_^
Japanofag emoticon, used by anime fags when they can't think of anything to say. Often mistaken for :3 (aka Kawaii).
^_________________^
The moar underscores, the kawaiier!!!
>.<;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
EVEN l33t MASTERS GET NERVOIS.
/^==^\
8 [ o ]
(T_T) or ;_;
The emoticon of emo anime fags. ;_; is also used in conjunction with "life-like texture".
〒_〒
The Emoticon of Evolved Weeaboo, made from the Yuubin Postal Mark.
@w@
A mystery emoticon used to show allegiance to Amuria
o.O
Shorthand for "Yo momma got one big tittie, and one little tittie, and they call the bitch "Biggie Smalls". Can also be written: ( . Y o )
(_o_)
Emoticon representing gaping assholes.
\:D/
Is supposed to be an orgasmically happy face throwing his/her arms in the air with joy, but in fact just looks like a happy sandwich.
8==D O8
Replace any given emoticon with the I'm-about-to-be-raped-in-the-mouth-smiley for great justice.
\{(0)}/
Vagina for the eChallenged.
@/@
0
B^U
:3
Ostensibly means "I AM CLEVER", but really can be used in any context. For example,
- I am the firestarter. Twisted firestarter. :3
- Who is John Galt? :3
- Mother died today. :3
- In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. :3
Occasionally used by furfags to make a cat face.
>:3
JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!
:#
>:[ ]
I'm gonna suck your blood dick!
>:-[
>:O
>O
:DS<
Crazy wavy rubber arms.
>:O-8O-{~:c
Woman giving birth to an unhappy baby.
8=========D
The person is a nigger.
(_(_)lllllllD
When 8========D just doesn't cut it.
<3=====D
Heartdong is made of heart and dong
(_)_)XXXXXXXD
HELP MY PENIS IS STUCK IN A CHINESE FINGER TRAP!
( . Y . )
LOL boobs
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Butterfly! fags
I_O_I
I need TP for my bunghole!
¬_¬
Generally used to portray "You best be jokin', nigger."
>:V
￣ω￣
Dude... I am *SO* high right now...
|*-*|
A stupid emotion that aim invented for cassette tape how many people use this?
ಠ.ಡ
retard
ಥಿ೪ಥ
Moar retard
¯\(°_o)/¯
¯\(ºдಠ)/¯
I dunno lol after going through the Internet Hate Machine...again
8U
Ultimate horror, possibly rape
ಠ_ಠ
ದ_ದ
nuthin
ಷ_ಷ
Scratch eyes plz?
ಠ_ರೃ
monocle
ಗ್ಲಿ_ಗ್ಲಿ
Balls 2 Face :D
۞_۟۞
First time seeing Goatse
~~C================================================3
Your first time seeing Goatse
(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞
pointing to the right
≧▽≦
orgasm
+O
OMG Cyclops roars.
Σ:3
Kitteh :D
;x
Use this if you're a gay
ಭ_ಭ
titeyes
గ_గ
ঞ_ঞ
≖_≖
I see what you did there.
ళ_ళ
๏_๏
wut
ફ_ફ
ಗ_ಗ
ಞ_ಞ
ச_ச
ঢ_ঢ
ळ_ळ
ର_ର
ଲ_ଲ
jellyfish eyes
ಱ_ಱ
ಲ_ಲ
(See Jigglypuff on right.)
ਘ_ਘ
ਝ_ਝ
ങ_ങ
ക_ക
Dick eyes?
\(╬ ಠ益ಠ)/
Angry anal rape, I think?
(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻
Table flip!
٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶
bitch please im a ninja
๏̯͡๏)
h...hissy...? ;_;
: (|)
I just fucked a nigger.
<3
Testicles in an ice cream cone
(´･ω･｀)･ω･ヘ)
Confused Bear likes Anal?
ヘ(^_^ヘ)(ノ^_^)ノ
NewFag Dance
(,,#ﾟДﾟ)ノ
Catch That Nigger!
( ﾟ,_ゝ,ﾟ)
New ;_;
(*・_・)ノ⌒*
meh
(･_･三･_･)
Twins?
(☞ ಥ益ಥ）☞ ︻╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿╤──
When fire doesn't work
⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
I'm on facebook and I found these giant characters that can be made to resemble a face.
Common Jewmoticons
.{:r)}}
Orthodox Hooknose Jew
$r)
A hooknose Jew that just got ten dollars. Also called "the Lowtax"
ಶೃಶ
Suspicious hooknose Jew
סּﬞ_סּ
✡_✡
jew
^ಏ^
Weeajew
Graphical and Animated Emoticons
As emoticons evolved, they were replaced by graphical representations, and eventually animated GIFs. This allowed for even more flexibility in illustrating an ever wider gamut of emotions, from happiness to "Fuck you, I'm a dragon!"
Jew, charging money for downloadable sets of smileys, for use on AIM, Yahoo and MSN Messenger. These are still wildly popular with 16 year old girls and pedophiles alike. For the non-retarded Internets user who knows things like that should be free there's always DeviantART.
Image Macro Emoticons
In shitholes like 4chan, emoticons are replaced with image macros and spammed incessantly. Here are what some mean.
-
Eating Reese's and telling you something -
Poking my head out from behind an office cubicle -
Needs less Desu -
-
-
???? -
That's a paddling -
-
OP is gay -
OMG -
-
-
No -
wat -
HRNNNNNNG -
You're a faggot -
Orgasm
See Also
| Emoticon is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
|---|---|
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |
|
| Featured article February 23, 2008 | ||
| Preceded by TheRedSkull |
Emoticon | Succeeded by Mrfetch |