Genocide

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Genocide is part of a series on final solutions.

[crackersGas the...]

Genocide is the particularly lulzy act of systematically eliminating an entire race of people because they smell funny and talk different than you. Genocides have been a prominent part of human history since the dawn of man, with many different peoples and races having been targeted over the years, most notably the Jews, who are perpetually hunted down by the rest of humanity due to the fact that they are Jews. It should be noted that since nothing is more American than killing people that are different than you, large scale Genocide is by default the most patriotic act one can do.

Notable Genocides Throughout Human History

Noah's Ark- In the first recorded Genocide in human history God thoroughly pwns the entire planet by flooding fucking everything to get revenge on some hookers and drug dealers who had shorted him. He did however, allow one dealer and his family survive, a stoner and aspiring zoologist by the name of Moses, because Moses had always cut him great deals on dimebags.

Sodom and Gomorrah- Not surprisingly enough, God was the mastermind behind the second major genocide, when he wiped out the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because they were full of filthy Arab who enjoyed looking at Goatse a little too much.

Carthage- The Roman's finally got tired of Hannibal's lulzy trollage of them and enacted an Operation Final Solution that resulted in the Carthaginians being curb stomped out of existance and the history books.

The Mongols- Genghis Khan and company often went for the high score by raping entire nations out of existance. After the Mongols smashed through the Great Wall and were buttfucking the city of Peking, a terrified mother asked Genghis why he was doing all this as he ate her children. His only response was "for the lulz," making him one of the earliest pioneers of trolling.

The Spanish Inquisition- Nobody fucking saw that coming.

Lulzy Conquistadors trolls doing what they do best--killing Injuns for Gold and converting them to Christ for the good, old Catholic church!

Notice the one with his mouth wide open. The Turks were also hardcore necrophiliacs

The Great Age of Exploration- Also known as the collective raping of America by the Europeans. Upon discovering that the world was not flat and that they had somehow missed that huge fucking slab of land in between them and Asia the Eurofags were quick to live out what would eventually become the American Dream of mass exploitation and murder. It should be noted that the Conquistadors were particularly lulzy trolls during this time period, often owning the Aztecs and Incas by pretending to be friendly and then wtfpwning everything and by doing things like offering to free the imprisoned Inca ruler Atahualpa for a room full of gold and then killing him anyway.

American Indians- Fucking stoner hippies had it coming.

Cherokee "Monkeys"...Cherokee "Apes", So proud to breed, so proud to DIE! Spread your flu-pox on them Injuns, they got no immunity, watch them get sick and die.

Aborigines/Black War- Not much to say here that hasn't already been said much betterer Aboriginal.

Russian Empire- Not wanting to share their Vodka reserves with the Circassia people, the Russian Bear decided to just boot the sand niggers out of Russia by killing all of them. Take note current world leaders, as the Czars of old had the right idea when it came to dealing with them Muslims.

Ottoman Empire- In a classic case of towelheads killing towelheads, the Ottoman Turks decided that they wanted to be known for more than just playing to host to massive earthquakes and went about achieving this goal by killing nearly 2 million Armenians. Their win would become the catalyst for the eventual forming of the band System of a Down, resulting in a rare boomerang win by the Turks.

The Glorious Soviet Union- The USSR is the proud owner of the second highest score for ethnic cleansing, as they managed to wipe out more than 10 million people between 1919-1948. They were actually doing the victims a favor though, since being dead is still a hell of a lot better than living in fucking Russia.

The Holocaust- Didn't happen.

China- China holds the highest score for killing people, with numbers between 49-78,000,000,

because of Mao Ze-Dongs batshit insane policies. Ironically, the PRC still exists when perpetrators of smaller genocides do not.

Iraq- It's cool now though since Dubya tea bagged Saddam.

Cambodia- The Khmer Rouge, led by the famous rapper Pol Pot, finally got sick with all the nation's Buddhists constantly rambling about enlightenment and decided to take a little initiative by setting the entire country on fire. When in doubt, flame out.

It's like Jonestown in here! Lots of black bodies lying everywhere! Good food for the vultures!

Rwanda- What was that one movie where that one black actor had to save all those people from a gruesome death, putting his own life on the line and shit and being an total hero? Oh yeah I remember now, it was Snakes on a Plane.

DRC- The various factions of the Democratic Republic of Congo were able to briefly unite under the banner of hatred for the Pygmy people, an adorable race of tiny niggers who live in little mushroom houses and ride around on squirrels. Apparently the DRC was pissed off at the Pygmy's because they kept sneaking into people's ~~houses~~ mud huts at night and stealing their underwear.

Darfur- The current cause of all hipsters and scenefags who want to look like they actually care about something worthwhile. Unfortunately since Darfur is in the Sudan and the Sudan is in Africa that makes the whole shenanigan worthless. Try again fags.

Genocide

Notable Genocides Throughout Human History

See Also

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Genocide

Notable Genocides Throughout Human History

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