Gabrielle Chana

[== work in progress ==]

To the eyes of common men, Gabrielle Chana is a 50 something divorced schizophrenic old coot who got hit hard with the fugly stick, but if the Internet ever taught us something, is that appearances are deceitful. One need not to dig much to find a complete mindfuck of a story that can bring even the sanest man to start taking Flunitrazepam. Besides being a lauded author Gabrielle finds the spare time to make tons of videos and write huge fucking walls of text denouncing the constant global conspiracy against her and the rich and famous on her marriage list by a mysterious organization known as The Order of Jesuits.

Soon after detecting her as a threat to their plans of world domination, The Order of the Jesuits decided to destroy her life by any means possible, at first silently, planting one of their agents to marry her and stopping her from reaching her full potential. Then she got divorced and the Jesuits moved from silent to full frontal assault on her, by branding her and her would be husbands as priority targets for assassination, or replacements by clones, or simply fuck them up in any way conceivable. As a counterattack to the Jesuit barrage, Gail's husbands to be, formed the one and only Church of Gail, in hopes of shield her against the attacks, and should any of them fall, the next will take his place in the marriage list.

The year is 2012, the Jesuit relentless attack against Gail and her followers continue. The Jesuit clones continue to try to infiltrate her life to ruin it, yet Gail remains hopeful in the final victory, a final solution that will bring the Order of the Jesuits down on his knees, and finally installing Gabrielle Chana in her rightful place as World Empress.

Gail the Woman & future world empress

Her file on the Order of the Jesuits reads as follow:

"Gail was born September 15th, 1957 to a divorced single mother in Cutler Ridge, Florida. Shortly after the birth, our genetic profiling teams were made aware of a dangerous combination of genes in infant Gail -- 60% Catherine The Great and 50% King David. To make matters worse, her great uncle was none other than the great Howard Hughes himself. This was a sure recipe for disaster. Since 1957 we have fought to hide her powerful genetic past from society. We first tried to kill her by giving her an allergy to baby formula. When that failed we started the Cold War in order to keep Russia and the United States distracted so that we could continue to weaken her quietly. It was a success. Our current methods of control include sabotaging her own brain, family, friendships and most importantly her love lives with the famous and powerful men that seek to be with her.

In order to keep Gail from destroying our mission for world domination, society must never find out who she really is. We have successfully hidden her power from the world by rewriting her entire genetic profile and fabricating a diminished societal image of Gail. To the ordinary person, Gail is nothing more than an average looking, middle-aged, divorced single woman. She suffers from paranoid schizoprehnia (this angle is particularly clever since we are then able to have our agents in the medical field administer psychiatric drugs that keep her further under our control). Anyone that meets her will only see a crazy woman with poor self esteem, who has built a rich fantasy life to fill her deep emotional holes."