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Michael Gimson
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ATTENTION! You can help by trolling the shit out of them whenever you see them, then laughing at their lulz-inducing theatrics.
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
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| Michael Gimson | |
| Nationality | Americunt 
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| Born | May 24, 1984 |
| Birthplace | New Jersey |
| Residence | Deerfield Beach, Florida |
Michael Curtis Gimson (Michael G) is your normal typical autistic suicidal middle-aged out of touch manlet (he's 5'7"!) in a constant mid-life crisis, a strict grammar nazi, and a wannabe film-maker/book publisher who has OCD, and mild bipolar disorder. Born in the state of New Jersey where all douchebags who are raised there turn into reality show celebrities, not much is known about his early childhood except for the lulzy fact that in May 2003 during high school, he punched the living shit out of some stupid nigger who was bothering and verbally harassing him repeatedly for a couple of months, plus trying to steal his Coca-Cola bottle from him at lunch every single day when he wasn't looking. Probably the only funny thing he's done in his lifetime besides put unwanted attention on himself from being such a loser with a ugly fuck wife who is clearly the more dominant one in the bedroom. More recently, he claims to have worked out and started to eat less foods than before -- this is true irony considering that he has nipples the size of pepperonis, and still does. When he disagrees with your statements, he will type out monotonous manifestos about how you are wrong and what you should do to fix your arguments. He ventures into the art of doxing, more irony because he's so lazy that he forces his friends to do all the hard work for him. His job at Target doesn't even meet the minimum wage criteria, since it solely consists of repeatedly picking up potted plants and then putting them back on the shelves again. Nevermind with that statement, he was hired around Christmas time in 2015 and then fired not even shortly after because the retailer wanted a gold star for having somebody with a disability actively working for them, otherwise they just verbally and physically tortured the living fuck out of him for shits and giggles. Often, he likes to brag about his sub-par education where he was able to score a 3rd grade reading level in kindergarten, and a 3.0 GPA in high school, but when he went to college for a 2 year degree, he ended up going there for 5 years. Something to be surely proud of though, amirite?
The Black Kid Story
After approximately 3 months of putting up with the ape's crap trying really hard to ignore his threats, last Thursday at lunchtime, Michael blew up and lashed out at the kid. What happened was, earlier that morning, in math class, the teacher had the classroom watch an important movie called 'The Devil's Arithmetic', which is about the Holocaust during WWII. While teacher's pet Michael was trying to watch the movie, most of the clowns in the class were loud and obnoxious throughout most of the movie, making it hard for him to hear the movie and learn a few things about history. A lot of anger and frustrations were already building up inside of him that particular morning as it was, and then when he went to lunch that day, the same black kid started with his usual shtick of trying to steal Michael's soda bottle from him at lunch, that was enough to set the cracker off. After that, he never fucked with him again and so they lived happily ever after. Michael says that despite the person that he punched was black, that doesn't automatically make him racist and would have punched him whether he was his own race, or any one other than black
Obviously, all of the above is not true since it was written by himself modified to be in a third person POV, and whoever he would try to knock out would rightfully retaliate back by dropping his fat ass head on the ground, making him cry to his mommy in the process since he can't be a crybaby to anybody else except the ones in the online world by making a video about it since his dad is pretty much the definition of a deadbeat. He's dead, just like Michael is going to be in the near future if he keeps on with his unhealthy eating habits.
Rise To Fame
Nobody cared about this worthless excuse for a human being until in late 2015 where an Australian weed smoker named Lighthouse and a unknown adderall addict began to fuck with him and all of the tools that followed behind him, since they wouldn't be where they are today without him by their side assisting them with every task. Like with every lolcow, Michael gives them more creative ways to let them and others who want to join the fun fuck with him in the worst way possible, the one thing that he doesn't want them to do. Unsurprisingly being the pussy that he is, he's enforced the block button on everyone that he's deemed either a 'troll' or 'cyberbully', and has disabled comments plus ratings on his videos, not that anyone would give him positive reception in the first place.
Dreaming In Autistic Colors
Dating all the way back to late 2013, Michael decided it was a great idea to make a movie based on the boring life story of himself, Dreaming In Autistic Colors. Because something simple as colors can definitely have a mental inadequacy that you can dream about. Stupid title, we know. He uploaded this video depicting him in a interview for the upcoming train wreck. Interestingly enough, this was also adapted from the autobiography of the same name written by himself, because when a book isn't enough to get your point out there, you resort to making a 20 minute film that doesn't even hit the box office (you have to personally ask him for it) and has a short budget of approximately $10,000. Way to spread your message in the most horrible way possible, pal.
Exclusive Interview
Unable to get Michael's phone number through Michael himself since he flipped the switch on his intelligent mode, Lighthouse contacted his wife on Facebook and asked for her to provide his number to him since he said he was a friend of Michael's and had worked with him prior to their conversation. Since all mentally deficient people are instantly fugly from the day they were born, she didn't hesitate to give Lighthouse the information that he needed which led to this phone call and many lulz ensued from people who were beginning to learn who he is and others who were fucking with him since the day he originated on the Internet.
Internet Buddies
While Michael has virtually no friends IRL, that doesn't prevent him from making a lot of them on the Internet, surprised by the fact that there are people out there who actually give two shits about him. And with a large following on YouTube, this fact rings true. Be extremely wary of them, since you may encounter them while you're fucking around with this idiot.
Cazaam The Angry Aspie
Michael's one friend that stands out from the rest of the crowd who is a Britfag with bad teeth, also an aspie and past leader of "The Cyberbully Club" on Jewgle+ from 2015 to 2016, 
Cazaam (formerly Cazaam The Angry Aspie) draws mediocre South Park look-a-like characters of his best friends, makes a career out of exposing trolls online plus being a self-proclaimed "counter troller", and is not afraid to frequently stereotype people whenever he gets the chance to do so. On his YouTube account, he has videos ranting on topics that nobody gives a shit about and wondering if the 45th President of Dumbfuckistan, Donald Trump, should be restricted from entering the United Kingdom. Even if he did, we're pretty sure he wouldn't care about irrelevant loners like you.
DsimXD
Remember how this article said that Michael went to extreme measures such as doxing when he was able to have his l33t hacker friends do everything for him? Well, this is one of the main ones, if not the individual behind it all since every one of these potential pedophiles cannot comprehend the many basic purposes of a search engine. DsimXD reuploads videos that contain "harassment" of either him or his butt buddies just in the rare case they get deleted to not incriminate themselves for some odd reason, and gets a rock hard erection whenever he finds the IP address, e-mail address, street address, workplace, and/or other associated personal info of the said attackers.
Andres Luna
A unemployed Satanist beaner who sexually abuses his chihuahua (in his picture on his channel) on a daily basis and will spout devil-related topics towards you to make you believe in his opinions that have nothing to do with what the arguments thrown at him are trying to explain in a justified way.
Bmendez378
Not much known is about this spic besides the fact that he's able to be friends with someone that's just as retarded as he is.
PepsiBoy428
Weird guy who is undoubtedly obsessed with soft drinks, plus a habitual ROBLOX player that got a bunch of views in the millions and countless subscribers by uploading videos of the Teletubbies television show that only catered to kids and psychopaths who are near to killing somebody in the future.
Tazz
Yet another aspie with a deformed face like Michael therefore being unable to come up with a distinguishable alias for himself online, not much info on him is available except knowing that he's certainly affiliated with him.
External Links
- Some blog where Michael ranted on twice in the comments
- Michael's YouTube
Michael's Facebook- His wife's Facebook
- His wife's alternative Facebook
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Michael Gimson is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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