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Columbiners
Columbiners are rabid fangirls (and an occasional fanboy) who are obsessed and often in love with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the perpetrators of the infamous Columbine High School Massacre of 1999. They tend to congregate on Tumblr, a leftist site infamous for harboring millions of the most degenerate SJW freaks imaginable. Columbiners are also known as the TCC, which presumably stands for "The Columbine Club", "Timid Crazy Cunts" or "True Crime Community". They number in the tens of thousands and several tccfags have committed to plans of real world violence. The vast majority of Columbiners are extremely mentally ill teenage girls, although it is a known fact that the vast majority of women are fucked up in the head. However, these broads take it to a whole new level.
Origin
"This funeral stopped the further growth of one thing -- the petition to the governor for Injun Joe's pardon. The petition had been largely signed; many tearful and eloquent meetings had been held, and a committee of sappy women been appointed to go in deep mourning and wail around the governor, and implore him to be a merciful ass and trample his duty under foot. Injun Joe was believed to have killed five citizens of the village, but what of that? If he had been Satan himself there would have been plenty of weaklings ready to scribble their names to a pardon-petition, and drip a tear on it from their permanently impaired and leaky water-works."
- Even Mark Twain knew about this
The attacks at Columbine resulted in only 15 deaths, but the impact was almost comparable to 9/11, at least for Millennials. Ever since the news broke out, tens of thousands of trolls and admirers came into existence. Though hybristophilia has long been in existence, it's not until recent times that the internet has given us such a great insight into their minds, as the internet allowed these freaks to develop their own community, providing us with endless disgusting blogs and fanfics. As the world changed and the internet evolved, these admirers went from curious Goth kids on AOL to LiveJournal, to the forums of the game Super Columbine Massacre RPG, to YouTubers such as Pekka-Eric Auvinen, to the current times, where Generation Z kids nest on Tumblr. The Dumblrina variety came into prominence around 2011, and accelerated in 2014. This new generation of admirers are more disturbing and bizarre than any before them and provide extreme potential for lulz, should you seek them out for cowmilking. Practically all Columbiners admire and obsess over the shooters, whilst saying that they "Don't condone". Should you infiltrate their circles, you'll find the majority of them eager to commit acts of mass murder; truly, these freaks are an extreme risk to society. They often dress the same (Dark clothes / Trenchcoats), listen to the same music (KMFDM, Rammstein, etc..) and develop the same interests as the killers did. Many in the community have casually made public jokes and threats to commit acts of mass-violence. Though mostly underground, this community has gained the attention of the media ever since the actions of Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath in 2015. In addition, the community has also brought about a great deal of butthurt from normies and nerds who don't have what it takes to get the girls.
Notable Members
Due to the disturbing nature of the Columbiner / TCC scene, and the fact that it's Dumblr, there have been various fools who have made a clown of themselves within that community. We at ED will list them here for all eternity, for the world to shame them for their degeneracy and attempts at violence. Although most Columbiners try to act intimidating, most of them are weak nerdy suburban youth IRL and often pose little threat. However, some have gone for the High Score- and often failed. This list only counts those within the Dumblr lolumbine scene; those who went for the High Score or other notable lolcows.
Brooke Higgins
One of the two hot jailbait assailants caught planning a massacre in suburban Denver, Brooke Higgins is heavily suspected of once possessing a dumblr account. She had a strong interest in the Columbine shooters, and was very likely a TCC whore.
Lindsay Souvannarath
- Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath, James Gamble, and Randall Steven Shepherd - These three dumbasses conspired to commit mass murder at the Halifax Shopping Center back in early 2015. They were very frequent bloggers on Tumblr, and extremely active in the Columbiner scene. They met through the site and grew to become very close friends; Lindsay was dating James apparently. James acted as the supplier for the NBK; he had in his possession an AK-47, two shotguns, and a Ruger Mini-14. Sadly, their plan was quickly foiled because they hinted at their plans constantly, even posting a picture "Valentines Day 2015 - It's going down". PRO-TIP: If you're going to participate in crime, don't fucking let anyone know about it you fucking idiots.
They each had their own blogs on dumblr, listed below -
Lynn Ann
Though all Columbiners are massive freakshows, Lynn Ann takes the goddamn cake. Lynn is likely the biggest fangirl of that faggot Eric Harris. She has posters of that kid, coffee cups of him, and much more. She dedicated an entire channel to her love and obsession with that loser, which eventually attracted a lot of negative attention to her and her story. Her degenerate obsession and crush for that faggot has warranted her very own article, here on ED.
Kali Jade Bookey
A 14 year old girl who was obsessed with Columbine. She attacked her brother's girlfriend and nearly killed her, because she was jealous of her brother giving the GF all the attention. She referred to herself as a "psycho" who was looking for her "first kill". She posted a picture of Eric Harris on her Facebook on his birthday. She explained to the police that she didn't want to murder the girl; just scare her away. Believed to once operate a dumblr acc.
Canadian Jane Doe
A unidentified 14 year old girl who was very active on dumblr, and posted a threat declaring an attack. Hours later, she reenacted Alex Hribal and knifed several students before getting v&.
How To Troll Columbiners
- Call the Columbine shooters out for being gay
- And killing innocents; those who were smarter and more successful then they ever could've been
- Call them severely mentally ill, and suggest they visit a psychiatrist
- Or.. trigger the fuck out of them and drive them to suicide. Should be easy enough.
- Tell them that Reb and Vodka would have shot them in the face irl
- Call them fags or dumb whores
- Report them to the FBI; you'll probably get them v&, and be preventing a massacre in the process!
- To report them to the FBI, please follow this link, and fill in the form with the appropriate information.
- Seriously. REPORT THEM TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES. There are actual lives at risk, and you'll fucking ruin these crazy cunts lives in the process!
- Show them Animal abuse / gore material. This will trigger the fuck out of them and probably make them cut themselves
- Tell them that their serial killer husbandos are the most popular and generic out of all serial killer husbandos
- Have an opinion even remotely right-wing
- Enact psychological warfare by pointing out how they're impure whores for sucking off chad, getting pumped and dumped, becoming feminist cunts, and driving their beta orbiters to suicide so that she'd notice them. Subtly convince them that they are monsters and should terminate their existence. They possess extremely unstable personalities and minds, and pose an extreme threat to themselves. Take advantage of this fact for the greater good.
- Steal their content and re-upload it somewhere else
- Troll the fuck out of them and repeatedly suggest they kill themselves
- Tell them to read "Columbine" by Dave Cullen.
Variants
There are several different microcultures similar to Columbiners, mostly on Tumblr. Typically, they are people interested in crime cases (mostly other school shooters, or serial killers). Often, thousands of fangirls are in these circles and get wet over other dickheads like TJ Lane, Pekka-Eric Auvinen or even the pedophile child killer, Adam Lanza.
Videos
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Gallery
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HAHAHA no.
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Me saying that I condone doesn't mean that I condone, okay?!?
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2deep4u
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I CAN CHANGE HIM
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The infamous Jane Doe Troll
See Also
External Links
- Inside the World of Columbine-Obsessed Tumblr Bloggers
- 5 things you need to know about "Columbiners"
- Inside the online subculture of Columbiners
- Click here and read the comments to cringe.
- Reddit cucks discover these people. Much lulz ensue
- Dumblr tag for "Columbiners"
- Kiwifarms conducts an investigation
- Columbinemassacre Forums - Brooks Brown's facebook - devolves into discussion about the columbiner freaks Brooks Brown had to deal with.
Columbiners is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
Columbine: |
Columbine • Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold • Super Columbine Massacre RPG • Do you believe in god • Columbine Copycats • Columbine Gallery • Columbiners | |
---|---|---|
Admirers |
Adam Lanza • Alex Hribal • Artyom Kazantsev • Asa Coon • Bob8466 • Brooke Higgins & Sienna Johnson • Cho Seung-Hui • Dillon Cossey • Ichverbot • Jaylen Fryberg • Jeff Weise • Kimveer Gill • Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath • Lynn Ann • Neocities • Nghtmrchld26 • Pekka-Eric Auvinen • Robert Butler Jr. • Robert Hawkins • Robert Steinhäuser • Ryan Schallenberger • Sebastian Bosse • Sol Pais • TheAmazingAtheist • Tim Kretschmer • Vladislav Roslyakov • William Atchison • You | |
Locations: |
Colorado • United States • School • Suburbs | |
Related: |
Doom • Police Brutality • Postal • School Shooting • Mass Shooting • Video games • Trenchcoat • Marilyn Manson • KMFDM • Rammstein • Goth • Concerned Mother • Newgrounds • Ryan Lambourn • School Shooter: North American Tour 2012 • The Matrix • South Park • Michael Moore • Quentin Tarantino • 1990s • Jack Thompson • Gun control |
Featured article April 20 & 21, 2017 | ||
Preceded by Battle of Berkeley |
Columbiners | Succeeded by Steve Stephens |