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Jonathan Ross

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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'Jonathan Ross aka EffinRawz, SuperJonathanSonic and many more retarded names, is pretty much a sick fuck you would not want to babysit your kids. This creepster actually pretty much actively goes out looking for young kids bathing. Last Thursday he actually tried to defend his cheese pizza habits to Mister Metokur which resulted in pretty much the most autistic display of saying nothing. Oh and his friend Hole was involved.

This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation.
You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen.
Find an iPod?

This page is about an attempted an hero.
   
 
I'm literally just a fucking virgin with rage, alright
 

 
 

Ross coming clean

Documentary

Early Life

Jonathan Elias Ross (preferring to call himself Ross) was born in December of 1997. Jonathan's childhood, for the most part, was normal (apart from suffering from autism) until he reached his tweens where his father (who has abused Ross, however whether this was sexual or physical is unknown) murdered his mother and was arrested. This is perhaps where the autism gears clicked into place and turned Ross into the lolcow he is today.

Early Youtube Career

Despite claiming to be a "veteran of the internet since 2009" (his words), Ross began his youtube career in 2012 branching out into 6 more channels because his autism prevented him from being able to focus on one channel. Ross truly believed he was a big youtuber even at 80 subscribers. Despite the small subscriber count all his channels had, the subscriber count for these channels would in fact be even smaller since many of these would be sock accounts (not his, though when his autism was at the strongest he would create multiple sock accounts to dislike videos he disagreed with like a typical SJW).

One of the biggest achievements of Ross's youtube career is that he was the first autist to upload a video in 2014 - quick, someone call the Guinness book of world records!

Even more interesting than Ross's grand youtube achievement, he use to be strongly against the word "nigger" being used, despite the fact it's one of the few words he knows now.

Soundcloud Career

Ross did once branch out and try to become a soundcloud rapper but there was no luck of success.

The Autism Rises

After the death of his mother, Ross was sent to live with his grandmother and grandfather. Ross would constantly claim that he is still in a "dysfunctional family" - even though he's the dysfunctional one. Ross was friendless at school and has even admitted that he wanted to become the next big school shooter. Ross would also constantly make fun of retarded students who have to do special summer lessons despite interestingly enough having to take the same summer lessons because he's so incredibly retarded.

During the height of autism he was welcomed into a skype group who called themselves "The Saints". This is where he entered maximum retard and would constantly dox and threaten to murder people. Apart from his one and only friend Jetrex, nobody in that skype group particularly liked him. At one point, he admitted to several people in The Saints that he is in fact a paedophile and enjoys to watch youtube videos of children in bathtubs. The people he admitted this to urged him to tell his grandmother and therapist which according to Ross himself, he did.

First Blowjob

Amazingly, some poor whore out there actually ALLOWED Ross to stick his dick in her mouth. Even more surprisingly THE BITCH WASN'T A MINOR. This would be hard to believe if Natalia (the whore who sucked his dick) didn't admit to doing the dirty deed (even more dirtier when you keep in mind that Ross stopped shitting himself at age 11).

Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Kids In The Tub

In 2017, Ross fucked over the only people who would dare to talk to him again which resulted in word getting out that he's a paedophile. By a stroke of (un)luck, youtuber Mister Metokur came across one of the many streams Ross would do and blasted his sick pervered fantasies into the wider web.

The Video

After discovering this specimen, Mister Metokur decided to do not one but TWO videos on this freak.

Highlights

Because it is pretty much an hour long video, we decided to highlight some of the more important parts of the video, for your convenience, you lazy fucking shit. Jim is Mister Metokur.

   
 
Jim: When you say fun and cute, like, how is that fun and cute?

Jonathan: I don't know, dude, you're expecting me to go in depth with this like..
Some other faggot: That motherfucker wants kids, is that so odd?

 


 
 

—Yes. Yes it is, you sick fuck

Attempted Suicide

On September 10, 2017, Ross had a livestream where he tried to kill himself by drinking Febreze, except the autist didn't know Febreze can't actually kill you.

Post Suicide Attempt

After Ross's suicide attempt he was taken to the hospital where it was found that he didn't actually drink the fabREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEze. He was apparently later taken to a crazy house where he was the youngest autist by actually 20 years. Despite having no computer he did manage to get into a windows store where he spoke about being a paedophile in front of everyone in the store. It has to be seen to be believed!

Friends

Emily Allman

File:Emilyallman.png
The only person Ross loves that is of legal age.
   
 
I'm 20 years old I like singing and dancing. I love music.
 

 
 

—[Emily introducing herself on YouTube.]

   
 
Jr is my friend no matter what happens. To make clearly I'm not dating anyone and haven't for long time.
 

 
 

—[Emily replying to a YouTube comment about Ross.]

   
 
I don't hate boon and I don't even know who boon is and but Jr is my friend. He been going through alot . His grandpa being going to hospital alot and look I don't know why Jr and Boon don't like each other as friends. I honestly think should just forgive each other. But make mean video is not cool .
 

 
 

—[Emily giving people juicy info on Ross's grandpa and his on-going autistic internet battle with Boon.]

Emily Allman is Ross's love interest (eventhough he is pretty deep in the friendzone with her and don't worry, she's 20). Despite her best friend Natalia being a fucking whore bag and sucking Ross's tiny dick, Emily is still a virgin and shows no romantic interest in Ross.

Much like Ross's amazing rap carer, Emily has a youtube music carer which you can view here (eventhough she's unable to hold a note). Emily was recently in a live stream with Ross where she was battling evil internet trolls and white knighting her long-time friend.

Ruby Aka Hole Aka EdgeQueen

File:Ruby Hole 4.jpg
Literal trailer trash
   
 
Hello my name is Anne Jurinek,I suffer from Borderline personality disorder,Depressive disorder and Anxiety.
 

 
 

Gofundme description for Hole

   
 
Shut up you stupid fucking hole. Nobody wants to listen to you, so someone muzzle this bitch... EdgeQueen you are not edgy at all, you are fucking annoying... Yiyiyiyiyiyiyi, you yammer too much, shut the fuck up...Stutter some more you dumb bitch, I see you in the chat trying to be funny like you know fucking memes and shit - You're so out of touch you call yourself EdgeQueen, there's nothing edgy about you, you fucking hole. Shut the fuck up.
 

 
 

—Hole being told

Ruby Anne Jurinek-Kates is a fat attention whore who likes Harley Quinn way too fucking much. Hole suffers from GOTIS in the highest degree, despite it would be easier to defend Jonathan's sexual attractions to small kids, that being sexually attracted to this giant super massive black hole.

Gallery

Imma Gonna Do It


In the above video, this attention whore actually tries to shame people by claiming she will jump out the window, as if she could possibly fit. Nobody took her serious, and she did not cause any earthquakes that day, because bitch just sat on her chair, instead of actually killing herself. It was all for attention.

In Summary

   
 
Jim: Ya dumb bitch

Hole: Oh call me a dumb bitch one more time
Jim: DUMB BITCH
Hole: Whatever, I don't give a fuck

 


 
 

Ruby's Social Media


See Also

External links

Jonathan Ross is part of a series on
 
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