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Georgia, USA
Georgia, the Peach State, is a state in the southern Jewnited States of Americunts, bordering Alabama, the Carolinas, Florida, and Tennessee. Georgia's chief exports are designer bib overalls, peaches, peanuts, pecans, Sweettea, and fine upstanding politicians that set an example for the rest of the nation. Famous cities in Georgia include Atlanta, Augusta, and Athens, home of REM and The B-52's. The rest of Georgia is largely unpopulated by humanoid life.
Georgia Facts
—Ice-T | ||
- Georgia is a major producer of peaches, peanuts, and pecans.
- In Georgia, children learn their numbers as "1, 2, Earnhardt, 4, etc." In addition, the number 24 is replaced with "faggot".
- Georgia is a cess pool of racism and incest.
- In Georgia, coloreds are welcome in all areas and establishments.
- Georgia was founded in 1732 as a British debtor's colony by James Oglethorpe.
- Georgia was named after George II.
- In Georgia, once you pass the third grade, you are allowed to operate on human beings and animals, as you will probably be the smartest motherfucker in the entire state.
- Georgia was one of the original thirteen states of the United States of America, and one of the original seven states of the Confederate States of America.
- In Georgia, sweatpants are acceptable dress for any occasion, up to and including meeting the governor.
- In Georgia, tobacco spit can be used for lubrication on any woman's punani.
- Georgians can't make peanut butter without some one taking a dump and not washing their hands, before dipping out the rat shit.
- In Georgia, vidalia onions are considered aphrodisiacs.
- Georgia's state motto is "Wisdom, Justice, & Moderation".
- In Georgia, yankees are only second to negroes and spics, unless they happen to be a combination. If you are a blatino or even a blatino yankee, you best just keep yo' mouth shut, boy.
- Injuns are not especially common in Georgia but the main tribes are eastern Cherokee and Lower Muskogee Creek.
- None of the people in Georgia (or anywhere else in the Deep South) know how to drive on snow and will shut the entire state down if a single snowflake sticks to the road.
Geography
Atlanta
Atlanta is the capital of Georgia and is home to many different things. It is where Martin Luther King, Jr. was born, it is also headquarters for Delta Air Lines, Coca-Cola, Cox Communications, and Home Depot. Atlanta is also the most gay city in the US. Surprising seeing the amount of anti-gay people around EVERYWHERE in Georgia.
Hip-hop "artist" Soulja Boy also lives there. At least fifty percent of Atlanta's, Augusta's, and Savannah's population are of African descent. Less so in Athens, most likely because its a college town and there are no coloreds in college.
Atlanta is home to many fine colleges. Notably, the Georgia Institute of Technology also known as Georgia Tech, for those interested in a fascinating career in sanitation engineering, and Georgia State University, which is geared toward making sure the coloreds of society can obtain degrees in fields like cosmetology and chemistry. There are several other colleges in the are, but most of them are black schools, so no one cares.
People
Georgia, as is the case with most of the South is well known for big fat rednecks with huge heads[1], the Ku Klux Klan, and old pickup trucks with a rebel flag on them. You can spot a typical ol' Georgia boy by a Ned Flanders mustache, chewin' tobaccy stained teeth, and liberal use of "nigger," regardless of the user's skin color. A white Georgia boy usually has really sunburnt skin, and has that sickly sheen to their skin that lets you know they drink enough moonshine to kill an ordinary human being. Most Georgians finish learning at the fourth grade, since most of 'em are just going to own landscaping businesses or mooch off their stripper wife, anyways.
Georgian blacks are well-appreciated. Georgian whites love them so much they once gave them their own water fountains, schools, and even set aside a special section at the end of the bus to let them know that they are loved and treasured. Whites still love and treasure negroes to this day, by having them clean their houses and make their hamburgers for them. They love negroes so much, they even have their own special concrete homes, in the best part of town.
However, despite the love of negroes, since few in Georgia are employed a large portion of the economy is based around negroes in baggy pants who want their clients to get crunk. Pretty much the only reason that Georgia has not been sold back to the United Kingdom is because Lil' John makes like fifty bazillion dollars every minute. A smaller portion of the economy is made up of redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy.
A Georgia boy usually communicates in short bursts, such as "Shut up, bitch!" and "Fucking yankee! Take yer fancy book learnin' and go home!"
Georgia women are known as "Georgia Peaches" because they spend most of their time on their back with their legs open, peach in full view for the world to see.
Despite being openly hated by all, lesbians, negroes, and lesbian negresses tend to congregate in the same vicenities - such as the local "country inspired hip-hop dance club" or "Wal-Mart". They be seen holding hands and selling crack.
You can't go anywhere without seen some really cool guys driving their Ford F-Series pickup or Toyota Tercel wagon with some fuckin' sweet 22" chrome rims. It is common knowledge that this increases the resale value greatly. Including their incredible taste in fine American automobiles, they also tend to wear incredibly stylish clothes that are big enough to clothe a baby hippopotamus and were bought from a Puerto Rican at a flea-market. Normally these clothes sport the likes of characters such as Stewie (because a talking cartoon baby is gangster, yo.) and Scarface (because all Africans can relate to an Italian impersonating a Cuban who sold enough drugs to afford million-dollar luxuries). To add pizzazz, they normally invest their entire McDonalds paycheck to purchase "Bling" which is slang for "crappy fake jewelry". Normally, this will consist of a long chain with a giant dingleberry, or "pendent". These "pendents" normally are used to inspire serious self expression, such as a spinner rims (to show the biatches and sluts that they've got the ca$h money) or big clocks (to show that time is of the essence, and if we don't act now, the rainforests can be lost forever). Besides white trash and their Tercels, there are fat, ugly bitches in their Cavaliers, and sloppy sluts in their Saturns.
Most can be seen singing rap songs in public places, for no apparent reason, normally by themselves. To listen to this noise is akin to having a pregnant woman vomit in your ear. Scientists theorize that this is a type of mating call, normally to attractive other negroes into a rap battle. These "rap songs" are all the FUCKING RAGE OMG!!!!!111one! DID YOU HEAR THE NEW TPAIN SONG FEATURING LIL JON!? No? Thats because other than negroes, fat white women, teenagers and wiggers, this doesn't actually matter at all. Unfotunetly, 99.9% of American culture is influenced by just that. These songs can consist of heart moving and revolutionary subjects such as how hard it is to be "pimpin'", how are women are "sluts/hoes/skanks/bitches (or biatches)/tramps" (even though negroes normally end up marrying fat white women who begat four of their illegitate childrenwelfare checks, because no self-respecting woman actually wants a man who is always "crunk" with no high school diploma), how much money they have (even though after having one club hit you actually never hear from any of them ever again (its been theorized that theyv'e been shot), how sweet their "whips" are (Tercels... with the rims), and how hard life on the streets is, even though it would problaby be a shit-ton simpler to merely move away. Negroes also tend to not move out of the way if they are walking towards in the mall, forcing you to walk around them. According to astronomers, this is because their lips are so big, they have their own gravitational pull, and if they were to avoid you, the trajectory x yaw/accelaration (with speed reaching up to 88 MPH) of their path may cause a tear in the time/space continum. So to be on the safe side, they'd rather walk into and call you a racist.
Culture
Here is a partial list of popular activities in Georgia culture:
- Baseball
- Beauty pageants
- Drinkin' "Bud Laight"
- Chasing around those Duke Boys
- Fucking your brother
- Fucking your sister
- Fucking "Uncle Dad"
- Handegg
- Moonshine
- Fucking your sister, your brother, and "Uncle Dad", while drinking moonshine
- Barbecue
- Fucking your sister, your brother, and "Uncle Dad", while drinking moonshine at a barbecue
- Mishandling the dead (Such as Georgia's news sources are, it's not surprising that only a out of state news source actually had the story)
- Science!!
- Sucking off Jesus statues
- Square dancing
Drugs
The drug of choice in Georgia is crystal methamphetamine, followed by Oxycontin. You can find a Meth lab by noticing one exploding and thereby taking out half your apartment building at three AM on any given day. Just sniff around for that wonderful ammonia smell, and put on your helmet. Better yet, don't.
You can get Oxycontin by kicking Grandma down the stairs and taking it from her by force, that greedy bitch. She hogs it all. Bitch, cancer don't hurt that bad!
Weed is only used by yankees and other immigrants. There's also crack, but it is very passé these days.
Sports
Golf: The sport of choice for rich, white motherfuckers. Put on some ill-fitting pants, suck in your gut and get out on that golf course. Keep those fuckin' women out of my club! They gots to be barefoot and pregnant!! G.entleman O.nly L.adies F.orbidden.
The Augusta National[2] is the most famous golf course in all of golfdom, even blacks love playing at the Augusta National. It is located amongst thirty miles of chain fast food restaurants, stores, discarded Skoal canisters, dead hookers, and used car lots.
NASCAR Yeee-hoooooo!! Grow yourself a cum-catcher moustache, grab a Moon-Pie and some RC Cola, fuck your sister and turn on the race!! You might even see a bitch get hit in the face with a tire!
Note: Dale Earnhardt is still dead. It is said that one day he will rise from the graveyard, and bring all the boys and girls some trucker caps and mustache cream, as long as they stayed good little Republicans all year round.
Rootin' out homos Despite professing to be God-fearing, bible thumping uptight upright heterosexual people, spend as much as time as possible trying to find out who partakes in the love that dare not speak its name (unless it's $3.99 a minute). Picket movies like Brokeback Mountain, and keep an eye out for teh fabulous.
Shirtless Track and Field It's easy to learn this sport. Smack your wife in the eye, wait for the cops, whip off your shirt and start jumpin' fences. You'll probably get away, most cops are really fat fucks in Georgia.
Wife beating This one explains itself. Double points for wearing a wife beater while beating your wife. That bitch can't cook dinner worth a shit, and you need to let her know. NOTE: The state legislature, because it is controlled by a bunch of liberal fucktards from Atlanta has passed a law that wife beating is only acceptable if you use an object no bigger than your thumb. See "Chris Benoit".
Yankee bashing It's important to treat anybody born north of the Potomac River like absolute shit, keying their car, shunning them, and picking fights for reading books in public. Book learnin' is for fags, and don't you forget it!
As seen in this documentary, Georgians are crazy for rape and dreadfully fearful of fluoride.
The Great Snowpocalypse 2014
