Alzheimer's

Alzheimer's is the inability to remember a life not worth living. It occurs in those incapable of managing a cooler cause of death, and is just punishment for a wasted life. Anyone with the disease should be dragged outside the city gates to die of neglect, to avoid encumbering those with meaningful lives to lead.

Causes

Alzheimer's disease results from plaque in the brain. This means, much like teeth, neglected brains will inevitably decay into a disgusting, useless shell of their former self, incapable of eating, or in the case of Alzheimer's, uttering three coherent words. This does of course mean that Alzheimer's is entirely the fault of the person with the disease. Should they have read a book or gone to a museum once in their lives, they wouldn't be encumbering their families and friends with diaper changing and force feeding. Sadly, the victim subsisted on evening news and chain emails, and now must suffer forgetting everything and forcing everyone they know to watch them die in slow motion.

Symptoms

All day, erry day

Alzheimer's is the steady stripping away of everything that makes an individual, and eventually everything that makes a human. The diseased person will start forgetting, becoming steadily more forgetful as the disease progresses. This is only fitting, as the brain has heretofore been tasked with nothing more strenuous than which cable channel Lifetime Network is, and so has no reason to maintain higher brain function. Unused skills, such as personal hygiene, interpersonal interaction, and logic are jettisoned to better serve the need to sit up straight and opening bags of potato chips. Slowly, even these simple tasks will become too much, and a formerly functional adult is rendered a drooling, slack-jawed retard, taking breaks from staring at walls only long enough to shit themselves.

Prognosis

There is no cure for Alzheimer's, and treatment is shockingly ineffective. There is a homeopathic naturalist cure floating around the internet, consisting of the drinking of large amounts of bleach, but the efficacy is still unknown.

Cure

The death of an Alzheimer means no more Easter eggs under the Christmas tree, no more jogging in the park with an open bathrobe, no more drinking out of the toilet and shitting in the kitchen sink. The joy of Alzheimer's is that unlike your childhood dog or women you keep chained in the basement, an Alzheimer is incapable of finding their way home. Obviously a highway median is a poor choice for abandonment, but if you get far enough away from civilization, the Alzheimer will die of thirst long before any human being will find them. There are also numerous techniques for ending life quickly and without a great deal of pain. Ask /b/ for the recipe of anything, and the first ten results will contain such methods.

Alzheimer's OTI

The internet in general and especially 4chan are self-inflicted approximations of Alzheimer’s. Everyone is a stranger, interest or engagement last no longer than a few seconds, and are forgotten as quickly. As the internet ages, the slow slip into senility of large swaths of it's users will go unnoticed, as the shitposts, tangents, and unintelligible rants will remain largely unchanged. There are corners of the internet devoted specifically to those experiencing Alzheimer's. It is an area where trolling is largely ineffective, as it's users will remain butthurt for no longer than a few minutes. However, it can serve as a proving grounds of sorts. If a troll goes badly, wait a few days, and try it again. You'll get it right eventually. Be aware that you may receive nasty messages over the forums, but they will never be more than half completed.