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LiveWire
Livewire is a shitty web 1.0 relic from long long ago. Created in 2000, the original admin wanted a nice happy place where everyone could sit and talk about their problems. LiveWire was born. Since then, it grew to around 1500 active members in 2008, then sharply cutting itself in half, then in half again because people stopped giving a shit. LiveWire, once a large elitist community filled with whiny teenagers and a shitty website staff has become a small elitest community filled with whiny teenagers and a shitty website staff.
The mod team on livewire are action whores that compete with eachother to delete your shit the fastest. However when it comes to actually getting anything done, these douchebags will fucking freak and spend their entire day writing long-winded, incoherent nonsense in the mod forum. They've so far invited self-proclaimed pedophiles, psychopaths, trolls and sexual predators to become mods. The sheer amount of incompetence is also of suspect, leading many to believe that the forum is run by Zionist jews. Others believe that the pedophiles are still around, hiding as bible-thumpers.
—imessedup2, |
Adminz
DayvudJonez
LiveWire is the brainchild of this genius. With extensive programming skills in PERL and MySQL, he crafted the shitty junkheap that is LiveWire's codebase. Upgrading? No. The server provider is just scrambling to try to keep the garbage code above water. This is why davjs needs your donations to keep buying the two expensive servers running while running his own hosting company. Imagine a ship. Now drill a fuck ton of holes in it. Now patch them with tin foil. This is what LiveWire is programmed like. Fixing LiveWire would take Mark Zuckerburgh's swat team at least 100 years to fix. Instead of taking the site down completely, and blowing up his inbox with 20 angry emails from the shitty "site staff", his strategy is to let it slowly crash and burn.
Da Profassional
Da Profassional was a basement dwelling loser that lurks teen forums in search of power. Having little to no prospects in life, Da Professional compensates for his shortcomings in the most trivial of ways: by exerting power over his pre-pubescent subordinates. He actually thought this would earn him cool points with the ladies, except that it only takes a very stupid 16 year old girl to check out his profile, realize he has zero pics up and once in for all ignore him for the uninteresting faggot that he is.
In what was a pathetic attempt to gain power, Da Professional diligently answered a fuck load of ehelps, literally forcing himself into modship. However, at some point in his livewire career, da professional failed to capture the hearts of the elites. Most people think he's a fucking faggot and have pretty much learned through practice that letting him stay in his corner offers the greatest concentration of lulz.
His faggotry reached a new high when he was promoted to Admin after arguing louder than everyone else, and sucking the David's cock behind the scenes. All good things however, must come to an end. One fateful day, Da Profassional realized that no one actually liked him, and killed himself by auto-erotic asphyxiation.
PedOphile Palities
This old man is a naive little pedophile that doesn't just fuck off and leave the young girls on the site alone. Being socially awkard and suffering from a severe case of anxiety disorder, this piece of turd permanently lurks the teen forums trying to get into debates with the women on the site. After the girls find out that it's really just a neck bearded ugly man talking to them, people quickly scatter. However, Pedophile O Palities happens to be a persistent little bitch so he'll probably keep bugging you till you explicitly tell him off. He writes in all purple font, is a complete bible thumper.
With Da Professional's untimely suicide, a new dynasty can rise on the sinking ship that is the LiveWire community. The obvious replacement is the sweet prince. Even more elitest, and even less intelligent, he would be sure to provide all the lulz needed until the sites planned shutdown on December 21, 2012
—Kendall16 |
Mod Tools
Since moderators are so secret about their powers, AC decided to become a moderator to give screenshots to everyone. This wasn't hard when you consider their collective IQ.
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Mod Forum -
Mod Menu -
Warned Members Screen -
IP Matches -
Mod Clique -
Mod Error Report
Former Moderators
Iconoclaust
WARNING: Iconoclaust, though a modcunt is actually a fail troll and spammer. Don't feed this troll.
Iconoclaust, previously known as prisoner of hss is an emo faggot IRL and one of the whiniest fail trolls on Livewire. After at least 100 years of whining about shit nobody gives a fuck about and being e-bullied by a former moderator named insertnamehere, this basement dwelling troll faggot decides to once again faux-contribute crap to seem support leader-isk. A typical SL post by this failfag includes spewing shit about how everyone should give up and stop trying and be depressed all the time just like him, which has been noted to be the leading cause of an hero production on the forum. But nobody ever seems to call him out for his SL faggotry because on Livewire, incongruously long, completely useless SL posts are considered to be "good" simply by virtue of being long and incongruous.
In recent times, to avoid outwardly coming off as a depressed emo kid, he's attempted to create a "lulzy" persona for himself, which includes being a complete failure and spamming fresh topic variants, thinking he's funny. He doesn't seem to realize that nobody gives a fuck. On rare occasions, he will write some pseudo-intellectual crap, usually in the religion forum about shit he knows nothing about (like the Drake Equation) in what is a futile attempt to seem like he has anything of substance to offer.
Major
Another fugly camwhore on livewire with a face like a dog. Major suffers from a severe case of inferiority complex, which causes her to come on the forums and sprout on and on about her IQ score being OVER 9000 or something equally as approval seeking, as if through stating that alone, members should somehow be impressed and dumbfounded. She fails to realize that on a forum people are prone to judging you by the content in your posts than a shitty metric with no scientific merit. Most members have learned to pretty much ignore her for the colossal fail that she is for being a turd still offering no substance to the forums and providing the relative equivalence of a rate me thread consistently. Any general mention of the words 'intelligence' and 'quotient' will make her rush into the topic to provide a mediocre reply, revealing to the cumunity once and for all that she's made out of fail and suffers from self esteem issues, like most other 16 year old girls her age. Another proven way to troll her is by calling her "browzilla", which was a term coined by the member negative0 and often seen as an unseen force to cut through this actually stupid cunt's lies. Further ED intelligence concludes that Major's IQ is a mere 95. She was banned after not being able to find a social life at UF and telling lws voted female chav ItsEllaYeah that she didn't like her face. Her mother should have had an abortion.
DreamWeaver
On finding out that her reply had been EDied for the lulz, Dreamweaver quickly tried to backpedal her way out of the situation by deleting the topic that contained the reply, not realizing of course that unsuccessful troll was unsuccessful. But not realizing the obvious isn't anything new for a cuntjob like Dreamweaver, who's not only an aspie but also an ADHD candidate amongst many in the moderation team. This severe lack of judgement, sarcasm-detection, and basic inability to comprehend all things human is seen as a severe threat to the quality of Livewire, because she will go around making rash deletions without a reasonable justification.
Like every other moderator on livewire, Dreamweaver is an unreasonable piece of shit on confrontation with members. This social retard has a skull so thick you could break a motherfucking boulder over it and it still wouldn't budge. A little known fact is that Dreamweaver never had the attention span to read through the actual TOS, hence doesn't know shit about the rules of her own forum. Despite this blunder, she continues to delete posts left and right. When confronted about the deletions she acts like a major cunt and completely ignores all reasonable arguments being thrown at her. This is largely due to her inability to socialize with non-aspies in any functional manner as seen fit for a moderator. Some argue that because she is a fugly and dumb piece of fat americunt lard, she enjoys spreading misery to the rest of the people on the board. When the administrator was asked one day why this turd was ever promoted into moderation, silence shrouded the room, followed by an "I did it for the lulz" from davjs.
Livewire Member Nudes
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spread it -
titty -
some insecure lw fatass -
ass
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decent
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tits -
not bad
Teh Members
About 100 years ago people used to pay to see retards in their natural environment so they could throw rocks at them for the lulz and then thank God he didn't make them like that. But due to the blatant faggotry of some moralfags, the idea of political correctness was established, forever plaguing humanity into a downward spiral of anti lulz and cultural devolution. Since it was no longer funny to make fun of drooling, self-obsessed, flailing retards people thought that the only other use for them was perma banning them at birth in order to avoid an unnecessary resource depletion. Unsurprisingly, even this idea was shot down by the bleeding-heart liberal fucktards and effectively shoved down people's throats MOAR on the basis of moralfaggotry.
So next time you see aspies around your school ruining your perfectly scenic campus atmosphere with awkward gestures involving saliva and even feces, you'll know to thank socialist cunts by the likes of Nancy Pelosi for ruining your entire day. But hey, at least they're kept segregated and away from the cool kids, rite? Rite guys?? OH SHIII... they've found the internets!
starry night
Girl19 is pretty typical for a mental retard with facial deformity, brain damage and a fuck load of problems nobody gives a shit about. She's a Christian who often likes to go around the forums bible thumping in the only retard way she knows how. Due to the adversity she faces just getting on the internets, she still doesn't seem to realize that more than a single animated gif can be uploaded per album. This causes for her Image Basket to have OVER 9000 albums and every single one of them with some sort of obnoxious pro-christian shit. Ever since last Thursday, girl19 still remains unbaptised due to her natural tendency to drown as God always intended for her to. Her failure contributes to some lulz on the forum but most members actually just want her to turn on the ignition to the afterlife for good.
13 yr old boys
Dayvud Also known as Grabdix, he is a pathetic 13 year old ugly boy that likes to dwell on his chance at never losing his virginity by fapping over horrid emo girls. Despite the fact that everyone sees through his faggotry, he still seems to think he has some sort of a black person in LiveWire. Eventually when he sees his destiny is to rot with other basement dwellers, he will leave LiveWire and realize that no-one gives a shit.
DUFFCAWK Also known as "Duffman", he is a mentally retarded aspie that attempts to be funny by trolling LiveWire with worse spelling than he usually writes with. It's most likely an attempt to cover up how much of an idiot he ACTUALLY is. He makes repetitive topics in order to attention whore to a degree that exceeds his 16 year old girl counterpart, "Bearsy". Overall, he causes nothing but slight disruption and irritation on LiveWire and amounts to an insignificant failtroll.
Internet wiggers
Zamrambo
This fucker shouldn't even be dignified with an ED article. This useless shit is such a failure, nothing can depict it's fact accurately. His mother's basement should be his only dwelling place, but instead, he spends most of his time not licking her cunt on livewire. A fat piece of shit with an even fatter hairy armed girlfriend. Likes to act like tough shit but cries to the moderators every time someone makes fun of him.
Slim Shady Irrelevant shit doesn't begin to describe this failure. Ripping off the name of one of the whitest, retarded rappers, this exhibition of his faggotry is just at it's peak. With constant activity on the forums, posting 'slim shady's fucking song of the day', makes this shiturd an epic fortitude of cool story bros. Since he's so much of a troubled social reject, this pathetic excuse for a bitch seeks cyber relationship with overweight, insecure, fugly, retarded sluts. He found a cyber bride in LiveWire member: see me now. This immature, borderline goat, and barnabus lookalike, makes it a hobby to make sure no one gives a shit. Posting topics asking members how to live her life, and constantly sucking Da Profassional's cock in hopes to become a moderator, puts her at the bottom of the shitpile.
16 yr old girls
Monroe
Monroe is arguably one of the ugliest sluts on the forum. Some argue that barnabus is uglier but the only facial features noticeable on this whore is her nose and chin so any contest on who's fuglier cannot be settled and deemed inconclusive. Typical post by this fugly camwhore is posting about how she accidentally let some guy cream in her cunt, accidentally missing her period the next day. Like most typical 16 year old girls she's an abortion candidate and even has a fugly kid who she uses in her sexual fetishes. However just having a vagina alone makes her something of a possession to The Man. As is the case with most women, let alone 16 year old girls, the only utility she provides is for The Man to face-rape this ugly cunt without fail, which is the only thing that adds value to her existence. Her avatar is just a typical facade to give of the perception of someone hawt but everyone on the community knows she's a fug and hates her for the lulz. This bitch also threatens to close her account every day in hopes of getting some attention away from the piece of shit child she managed to get after raping some poor guy. She made sure to steal the sperm to have some evidence she'd fucked at least one guy.
Bearsy
Da Bears is a wannabe rebel who thinks she is all tough shit around the forums because she posts pictures of boobs on livewire. Infact she is a backstabbing cunt that deserves to be raped in her ugly face. Fun fact: she is a huge fan of the Jonas Brothers and livewire points. She even likes to whore out pictures of herself for huge amount of points. Rumor has it that she doesn't like to share them for free, because the pictures aren't really of her and she only has three of them. You can now find her under the account "hymen terminator".
MiNNiCK
Minnick is yet another useless turd on the forums who's only contribution is the general faggotry she provides, which can be use by the more intelligent members to pick her apart for the fail troll that she is. She is in fact fat, despite massive attempts to deny the claim that she isn't, even though some argue with proven success that through the volumetric distribution of fat as seen in the rolls of fat on her arms and triple chin, it can be extrapolated that she's just an extremely obese cunt all around. She'll deny it again, which can ensue lulz at her slimy, fat, hitler fanboy trolling self. This is the ultimate deterrent against this morbidly glutenous piece of shit.
xoAllixs0n
Allison is an annoying white trash piece of shit and someone should really point her to the final solution. Her only conception of friends on the forum are other extremely ugly white girls or nigras that actually think she's an annoying little turdsauce to begin with. Her interest in strengthening her interracial ties with da brothas doesn't come as a surprise to many but her attempt to intentionally talk to blacks online suggests a level of unwillingness to take the risk to find out what it is to be around actual black pple. Typical behavior from this colossal turd is getting the brothas to jump through her hoop, telling them to beatbox and go play basketball and shit because that's what black people do. Other than being a completely fat ugly piece of shit,... well, that just about concludes it.
Libertarian doucheshits
The Last Magister
The Last Magister satisfies all criteria to be considered a Libertarian douche shit, being an avid Ron Paul supporter, a 13 year old boy (redundant), and having a level of social awareness that will preserve his virginity well into his mid-30s. When he realizes that he's missed out on getting his cock sucked by 16 year old girls when he had the chance and when it was legal, he will most likely become a pedophile, go pedo baiting around Craigslist and will be forced to register on America's Sex Offenders list for the colossal fail that he's made of. At this point, TLM will have a greater appreciation for the American Government when Honorary Ed Lolington releases him with a $600 fine for his faggotry, righfully deemed a social retard and not a proper pedophile just yet.
Typical thread by this annoying dirtbag includes talkin smack about mainstream politics while continuing to ignore that he's merely a right wing apologist. TLM favors a government that allows for the ownership of assault rifles, unfettered business practices (even when it comes to discrimination), ban of abortion, and a public school system that only goes up to 5th grade, as if americunts aren't retarded enough as is. Little does he realize that he's one day going to be permabanned from life by an accidental black person that just so happens to have an AK-47 laying around the house and pissed off by unfair treatment of whiteys. This will contribute to great success and great lulz at the expense of his Ron Paul-trolling self.
A lulzy deterrent against this fail troll is linking this ED page on all this fail topics and fail replies, which will not only leave him butthurt but will also warn other members of his faggotry.
Eurotrash
Anthem
Anthem is a typical overzealous eurotrash who's faggotry is only surpassed by girl19's perseverance as a colossal troll on the forums, but we like to give girl19 the benefit of doubt as being a legitimately disabled aspie under the assumption that no intelligent human being would ever intentionally pose as a retard. Alas, Anthem's failure as a troll even to an asperger's syndrome stricken troll proves without doubt that Anthem is fail and so are her contributions to the forum. Anthem suffers from a severe case of schizophrenia, which causes her to have delusions of grandeur, which plays into her thinking she's e-awesome. To perpetuate the image of untarnished "e-awesomeness", she's forced to maintain exactly the same monotonous tone while dealing with all subject matters. A few ways to troll Anthem include being openly americunt to this fat bitch. This will make her flagrantly post some butthurt shit, which will ensure further lulz at her expense. If Livewire were an IRL society, Anthem would be the village idiot nobody gives a shit about.
Serious Threats
People socially retarded enough to actually get banned from LiveWire permanently are referred to as srs threats. On LiveWire, it's extremely hard to actually fail enough to become a permaban. Most people, including half of the mod team can get their nudes and prey on LiveWire members once they get their MSN address, leaving their LiveWire slate clean. One day in the mod forum, DA professional decided to make some lame ass change in LiveWire policy that allowed most of the socially inept spammers to spam LiveWire untethered. This was the new permaban policy. Now, you have to make it so the modfags consider you a srs threat to the aspies and 13 year old girls/boys that populate LiveWire to become permab&.
anti christ
Mostly known as ac to the wider community. This nigger is a sociopath who appears to have gravitated from one of the chans as a reject. In fact he is such a loser that he continues to come back to this forum despite being permanently banned a few years back. Not much is known about him, just that he has no life and has an IQ of at least 100, but spends most of his time trying to taunt the moderators whilst just providing lulz for the epic fail that he commits. People have suspected that he does it for the lulz but his persistence has often eluded to him being a closet homosexual or having Asperger's syndrome. As a pastime, Ac enjoys threatening to rape 16 year old girls. Despite the massive attempts by the modturds to harness the power of an internet lulsuit against him, they have too much sand in their vagina to realize that this is the internets and internets is serious business. A good tactic for trolling the mods is by continuously making Ac related topics which will effectively send them on a butthurt rampage against your user account, except wait, you haven't done anything wrong which will cause the faggots much more confusion and butthurt than originally anticipated. This is one of the few things Ac is useful for, otherwise he's made of epic fail and nobody gives a shit about this faggot. He is constantly being banned. You would think this fag queer would of took a hint by now, but as history has shown, some queers just don't go away. He thrives on hijacking others accounts but in the end is nothing but a waste of time.
Pedophiles/Perverts
Socially inept middle-aged fat men who enjoy 13 year old girls and boys
Predator Editor in Chief
Editor in Chief is a pedophile Jew. He is famous for faking images of 16 year old boys for attention. When asked for more pictures of him, he decided to become a fake cancer patient, spreading lies about having cancer for pity and attention. One day, while finding places on the internets to prey on little boys, he stumbled across LiveWire. He decided to try to mask his fat pedophile self, and become a respected community member. He was a mediocre moderator, who offered little substance to the forums as a LiveWire moderator. Thankfully, he couldn't follow the moderators rule of preying on members over MSN, and was reported exploiting 16 Year old boys via LiveWire private messenger. It was a repetitive occurrence. but he didn't get banned last time because he said pics or it didn't happen, which is a commonly used internet meme. Using this as his defense, the failjew pedophile used his jew powers to put up a defense to keep from being demoted, but was given an ultimatum by DA professional. "No moar boybaiting on LW messenger". He couldn't follow this simple rule, and was demoted, and then PERMAB& for abusing his position to blackmail 16 year old boys.
Baby Pervert
The baby pervert is an Adult baby that hails from Appleton, Wisconsin. He takes aspie to a whole new level by showing complete social inadequacy, though he could just be talking like a baby because he masturbates while doing so. In addition to the baby faggotry, baby pervert also loves talking about having an eating disorder, and needing to go to the hospital. He has been on LiveWire since 2006 and has over 9000 usernames rivaling AC for the title of most obsessive permab& faggot. He enjoys giving his cell phone number to 16 year old girls in a weak attempt to get them to drive to Appleton to change his diaper.
SAMMYJS999 Sammyjs999 is a 33 year old male who lives with his mom. He enjoys sitting in his room at his mom's house and talking to 13 year old girls about double penetration. Due to the fact that he is fat and socially inept, he has no friends on LiveWire and human rights do not apply to him. He pretends to have a 19 year old girlfriend (see images below) when it's obvious that no one would want to touch this disgusting faggot with a 10' pole. It was once said that girl19 rejected his proposition to go on a date with him.
Even though he is socially retarded, he thinks that due to being middle aged that he is somehow more intelligent than the other members of LiveWire. He lords around LiveWire with a feeble attempt at wisdom and authority. However, it doesn't take a pseudo intellectual the likes of Major to understand that this isn't the case. Sammy frequently uses large amounts of internet slang to the point of actually sounding like the 13 year old girls that he comes to LiveWire to prey on.
Thuggen
Thuggen claims to be a deaf, half blind nurse. He is says he's a Christian and loves poetry. No one is quite sure how a half blind deaf person can be a nurse. It doesn't matter because he's most likely a failtroll and no one gives a shit about this faggot.
Livewire Memes, Trends & Cliques
Anat Ghelber
Anat Ghelber is one of the more successful fail trolls on Livewire but only in the same way that the winner of retard olympics can be considered the be of the best of all things human and all things competitive. A retard who's probably a 13 year old boy IRL named melissapizza started spammed topics sometime during 2006 about how Jew ANAL GHELBER is and how they should be idolized by all 16 year old girls. To the surprise of most fucktards on Livewire, they started to Google the name to find out more and offering corrections on the name which failed to come up on search because nobody gives a shit. A few days later some pic of a Jewish 9 year old is unveiled, and then people finally realize it's a troll and now nobody gives a shit once again. But through sheer regurgitation, this "meme" has earned a spot on ED as a general way of saying cool story bro, to acknowledge failure, showing moderate approval and conveying still that nobody gives a fuck.
Grammar Nazis
Sometime again in 2006, a group of pretentious cuntwads enter the forum in what is yet again a mass scale attempt at e-popularity -- organizing groups, creating 4chan stolen logos and repeatedly proving to the community that all idiosyncratic caption on Livewire are borrowed. Typical behavior by these newfags was going around the forum making grammatical corrections that are irrelevant to the average internet user, unwilling to give it a fucking rest because clearly nobody gives a fuck.
The leader of this fail was a member by the name Blasphemous Cow, who was not only an attention whore but also an approval seeking faggot who'd have w0lffag running for his money. Grammar Nazi was effectively dismembered by teh God of Livewire (not davjs) through attacking the problem from the root and sending Blasphemous Cow butthurt and closing his account not once but thrice during a one month interval.
Apparently, the sheer need for repetition was triggered by the fact that nobody gave a fuck this colossal turdsauce left. Yesterday, BC decides to show his mug once again on the forums and is yet again forced to leave. All that remains of him now is this butthurt closing: "I hate being known for the person I used to be. So I might make a new account. I dunno. I can't think of a good name for one, so I probably won't. Whatever. Bye, LW."
YORE Clique / Mod Clique
At least 100 years ago, in what was a futile attempt by the admin to encourage member retention, davjs decides to create YORE. Anthem was the first to post in it, calling it out for the faggotry that it is. A year went on and still the posts counts were negligible. Shortly after this in early 2008, Prince o Palities and Barnabus decide they're going to lead a movement inside YORE to "encourage participation" from members with > 365 days active. Despite this effort, due to their general christ-punching faggotry and all things lame, which they're synonymous for, nobody gives a shit. But these cuntwads didn't stop there; they decide they want to rally support inside of YORE by perpetually spamming annoying shit exclusively in YORE that no regular member would normally give a flying fuck about. However, just the fact that people were either unable to post or refusing to post in there because it's made of fail, people didn't. This resulted in some butthurt on the average member.
Overtime, this unwarranted self importance lead to massive behind-the-scenes assrape of any fleeting intelligence Livewire ever had, and hence Livewire members experience the shitty mod listing we have now. The following modcunts were appointed due to influence of YORE clique: Prince o palities, W0lf, Hannibal, barnabas, greatescape, marshmellowman.
It is generally encouraged to blame barnabus on all faggotry and all stupid shit that goes on in the forums, because it's probably true anyway. Some argue with proven success that the puppeteers behind this colossal failure are Jews and the Zionist Movement, which would explain why barnabus, PoP and iamironman post there so often.
See Also
External
 LiveWire is part of a series on Web 1.0 |
[ANCIENT HISTORY] Old Memes •
Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks •
Technologies •
Fun and Games •
Events •
Death of Web1.0
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