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Good Korea
Not to be confused with Best Korea, Good Korea (or combined as one word is Gorea) is an American colony much like Puerto Rico but with radically higher IQ. This is not ironic or in any way in line with ED, it's a just a fact missing from Wikipedia: South Korea is no more sovereign than Puerto Rico. Their army is directly under command of the American Army and their first president was an American Hawaiian military dictator. They make good stuff cheaply so that our importers, distributors, wholesalers and retailers can all mark it up for huge profits. In this way they make capitalism work and democracy thrive. They also have very expensive services for tourists who have financially and erotically outgrown Thailand. Slaves and Whores, much like Cuba before the Revolution. Good Korea was one of the United States' 20th century acquisitions in accordance with the long-term Manifest Destiny.
Geography
Good Korea is immediately south of Best Korea, on the bottom half of a peninsula that is west of Japan. It has water on both sides. It is a very convenient place for throwing things into Best Korea. It used to have some good surf beaches, but now they are rather untidy.
People
South Koreans belong to a Conservative culture which respects traditional values. The typical South Korean belongs to some or another shady Baptist Church founded in California in the 50s. Since both men and women work long hours for one or another service corporation, and there are no immigrants, they have more Mc Donalds per capita than any other country in the World, so they can enjoy their traditional food at any time prepared by robots. A dog market exists in Seoul to entertain tourists and help Animal Rights organizations whitewash money. South Korean men like to play golf in their spare time and get drunk with Single Malt Scotch, their traditional spirit. South Korean women like to repeatedly get plastic surgery in their eyelids. Children pass times include math, Starcraft, and studying English to purge themselves of their mother tongue before they are six. South Korea has one the highest standards of living in the World.
Government
Good Korea is a suzerain state of the USA, kind of an unincorporated territory. Every five years a new Governor is appointed by the United States Pacific Command. A Reality Show is broadcasted and fake elections are held in a farcical show of moral superiority to the People's Republic of Korea. The subjects are expected to pay for and take part in these celebrations. Basic freedom of speech or demonstration are forbidden in Good Korea when it touches on political topics: the internalization of this prohibition into self-censorship is what makes them good in the first place.
Occultism
South Korea's first female president and former symbolic first lady Park Geun-Hye, who won the election through military interference, is under investigation for conducting occult rituals and being linked to fortune teller Choi Soon-sil, her "shaman adviser" and rumored lesbian confidante who has been in Park's inner circle since 1994. Choi's father was the shamanistic cult leader Choi Tae-min of the Eternal World Religion, who told Park he could channel her dead mother Yuk Young-soo, who was assassinated in 1974 by a North Korean sympathizer trying to shoot Park's father, South Korean military dictator Park Chung-hee, who was assassinated in 1979 by the director of his security agency for failing to keep Choi away from his daughter Geun-Hye. From an office in the Non-Hyun Dong neighborhood, spirits told Choi Soon-sil that North Korea would soon collapse, Choi rewrote Park's speeches to be more shaman-y, she created some corrupt foundations, and Choi had a tablet with secret policy documents on it. On Halloween 2016, Choi Soon-sil said "I'm sorry. I committed a sin that deserves death." Park Geun-Hye said "it is not true that I am a cult follower and practised shamanistic rituals at the presidential Blue House." You can't make this shit up. Stick to Starcraft and Dota2 South Korea.
Economy
You can make a lotta lotta money in Good Korea. Make sure your mutual funds and IRAs include Good Korean companies. If you can't get a job where you are despite owning a suit, you can be a highly paid English-speaking monkey to entertain their small children. Many Good Koreans might be confused because white people (like Alan Alda and Jamie Farr) look good in movies and you don't. But don't worry! They will never fire you no matter how fat, gross, diseased, and lazy you are. And don't forget, although Raël may be banned in Korea, he still needs your 10 percent.
Internationally, Good Korea releases MMORPGs for free, which are usually awful, even by MMORPG standards. Kids will actually pay for extra, useless features on this shit, which will normally make their character look more like a fag or weeaboo. The profit Good Korea makes on this faggotry is uncertain, though it could be over 20% of their economy.
Gorea is trying to take over the world by making and releasing free shitty gay TV Drama + K-poop featuring post-plastic-surgery pretty boys and girls, but no one gave a shit except for a few pathetic Koreaboos in South East Asia.
US Military in Good Korea
If you are serving in the military, please take advantage of the many prostitutes that populate the red light district. Remember, though: Koreans hate any and all United States soldiers, so avoid asking questions, unless you would like to contribute to the Korean national pastime (other than Starcraft): Blankly staring and giggling.
It is a known fact that a Korean cannot kill more than 33 people without killing him or herself.
How to Troll Good Korea
- Tell them Korea owes all its Jew to their Japanese Masters.
- Call kimchi a kimuchi.
- Call anyone with [KOR] or [KR] in their IGNs a Kimchiman.
- Describe their country as a big factory
- Congratulate them on being the country that produces and consumes more steel per capita in the World! Segway casually to suicide rates.
- Point out that North Koreans don't have as many prostitute daughters and gamer and asperger sons because they are free to get daily fresh air, community exercise and don't live in a steel and concrete digital sweatshop.
- Point out that eating dog is a disgusting habit not merited by culture since North Koreans would rather starve than eat dog.
- Tell them Dokdo belongs to japan.
- Make fun of Starcraft or any of the shitty MMORPGs or MMOFPS they dedicate their worthless lives on.
- Say that worker rushing sucks and only shows that they have a small dick.
- Tell them comfort women did 9/11.
- Tell them Japan is better.
- Tell them that their country has a rich, long history of being buttraped and under the control of other countries to such an extent that they have no distinct individual culture.
- Say hello to them on the streets. This will cause them to lock up into a giggling fit of fear.
- Lock them in a room with a fan turned on because they seriously believe that stupid shit.
- Be Kim Jong Il.
- Remind them that a lot more so than Japan, South Korea is now America's bitch.
- Remind them that the only sovereign Korean country with its armed forces not directly under the command of a foreign power is the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, not their slave puppet state. If they don't remember tell them to just look it up
- To add insult to injury, remind them that whereas Japan at least put up a fight before becoming America's butt buddy, South Korea bent over willingly to let America rape them.
- If they do it willingly, it's not rape. Then they're just being fags.
- Tell them that they're the only country in the world where going to the military for 2 years is the only way to become a man. Extra lulz if you mention that most of the time there is spent sucking their CO's cocks and doing their chores while they get $100 a month.
- For more lulz, mistake them for japs.
- Inform an older Korean man that yes, there are gay Koreans.
- Tell them their national soccer team is shitty.
- Convince people Samsung is a Japanese company.
- Remind them that all their good looking women are a product of extensive plastic surgery.
See also
External links
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Good Korea is related to a series on AZNS. | [Herrow] |
