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Bill Nye
William Sanford Nye✡, more commonly known as Bill Nye the Ultra-Authoritarian Science-Denial Guy (born November 25, 1955), is a professional Abe Lincoln look-alike who somehow managed to get lucky and landed his very own educational show on PBS in the mid-1990s – which is where you probably remember him from. Despite playing a "scientist" on television for half a decade, Bill Nye is still a complete fucking idiot and has only just recently been resurrected by the evil-doers at Netflix after spending twenty years in cryostasis next to Walt Disney's frozen head and The Backstreet Boys.
Following his second coming, Bill Nye decided that he would attempt to save the world from our lord and savior Donald Trump by constantly whining about global warming, denying the scientific fact that chromosomes determine sex and actually suggesting that the United States adopt China's one-child policy in an attempt to curb carbon emissions.
The Fall of Bill Nye: From children's entertainer to Monsanto whore
Originally a simple comedian who rose to the position of science icon for children during the 90s by sheer luck, it looked like his career as a children's entertainer would be short but well-remembered. While no serious person could claim Bill Nye was ever good, he was known for his goofy, silly style and fashion sense that easily made him likable to young children. Someone that the kids would look at in delight, while older more knowledgeable people would tut-tut, shaking their head knowing better. Knowing that he is an entertainer, a performer, that coming on with this mickey-mouse voice and style is not how a real scientist - or any stable adult - views the world and acts.
Shortly after returning from his long period of obscurity since fading from major public eye in the 90s, Bill Nye apparently began to fall victim to some kind of mental illness, assuming of course he wasn't always insane to begin with and just kept it decently hidden. He began with debating some amateur hour theologist-wannabe as a quick way into instant popularity with Reddit and as expected, the popularity quickly inflated his already inflated ego, with him using his newfound status of recognition as a way to preach his own political bullshit by raving wildly about how much he hates white people, heterosexual people and all the ideas, beliefs and masculinity culture associated with them, and how science tells us that even the most ludicrous new age theories are right if they hold some sort of political value to the current gen of retards and the mass media.
Even since the moment of his return, it was clear that he had began treating science as a form of dogma rather than a tool for knowledge, with him often ready to verbally cast down anyone who remotely deviated from his own views or disagreed with him, to the point where he began demanding that dissenters should be locked up for their heresies and that all dissenting views would lead to the end of the world, much like a Moonie preacher on TV yelling about the end times. Giving sermons on national TV about the evils of whites, theists (except Muslims), males and especially heterosexuality and that literally all problems are the cause of the devils known as global warming and straight CIS males, and that radical Muslims and ISIS are only terrorists because global warming made them do it. Now a celebrity going on a SJW bender as a power trip, this guy has lost his shit completely. He literally called his documentary "Bill Nye Saves the World."
But by far the worst thing is that Bill Nye is now jettisoning what little scientific integrity he had left (not that he was ever much of a real scientist to begin with), embracing corporate pseudoscience in the name of Monsanto. Bill now actively encourages genetically modified foods, at least some of which are known to cause a tiny increase in cancer, but much worse is that they are cross-pollinating with natural foods and ruining them for corporate gain. Once genes go out in the wild, there is no putting them back in the bottle. It is completely different to any other technology that has ever existed because of the immensity of power.
Bill Nye is now the media equivalent of a five-dollar whore. "What do you want me to do this time?" he asks them before every session, hoping for a few more bucks. As one should expect, since he is and always has been a performer and celebrity, and nothing more.
DID YOU KNOW THAT....
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
- Bill Nye is a Jew.
- Wears a bow-tie.
- Had kids on his show to make science appear cool, rad and far out! And because he loves kids.
- He really loves kids and went around in a white box van asking kids if they wanted to appear on his show for candy.
- Thinks puns are funny.
- Is 68.
- Having only a BSc degree in mechanical engineering, Bill Nye is not a real scientist, just like anyone with a degree in any given social "science" field
- Is a recurring guest star on The Big Bang Theory because "lol science."
- Had a deep-voiced man hold cameras and do unfunny commentary for Science Television.
- Did we say he loves kids? As a Jew he has taken his child stars to ice-cream parties so long as they pay.
- The deep-voiced announcer on his old show was also the announcer on Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
- Bill Nye had a TV show called The Eyes of Nye without the deep-voiced Smash Bros. guy doing commentary and it sucked because of that.
- Bill Nye thinks cultural appropriation is wrong.
- Had a mediocre debate with creationist Ken Ham where Nye "won," despite that Ham ended up walking away with a shit ton of cash thanks to all the tickets he sold, but it's okay cuz every redditfag got to circlejerk over the empty victory! Way to go atheism!
- He later re-visited Ken Ham at his Noah's Ark theme park for his new Netflix show (because no one else from the largest religion in the world had time for Nye apparently) to poke fun at him once more, much to the joy of neckbeards on YouTube. However, once again all this did was serve as free publicity for Ham who got a shit ton of money from this (again) and more regular visitors. Way to go gentlemen!
- Is secretly dating Neil deGrasse Tyson (his dumber black clone) and they even celebrated Thanksgiving together in private.
- Loves kids so much he doesn't have azny of his own but he will volunteer to watch yours.
- Made a fucking awful new show written by feminist astronomy blogger Phil Plait that's neither fun nor educational, and is basically just a soapbox for bad tumblr-tier ideas.
- Pretended that he was the first person ever to prove that Texas is full of stupid rednecks.
- Gave a lecture about keeping our environment clean and related get-fabulously-rich schemes at RIT.
- Guest starred in an episode of Stargate Atlantis that no one remembers.
- Supposedly fucked a woman way, WAY out of his league - Soledad O'Brien - while co-hosting a TV science show with her.
- Nobody liked science until it started kissing up to their political beliefs.
- Bill Nye was the leader of the ever-so cringy March for Science which was basically SJWs and feminists shouting and carrying signs that had quotes from their favorite movies and cartoons, like Harry Potter, The Big Bang Theory and Reddit and Memey.
- Repeating a word fifty times is funny.
- Nobody wants to fucking see Bill Nye after 6th grade.
- Loves kids so much he was fired as a teacher.
- Bill Nye did WTC
- The moon reflects the light of the sun, which means the Bible is true. Proof here. (Warning: Flooded by basement dwellers.)
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
- Bill Nye is WAY too proud of his only two contributions to science - the Mars Rover sundial and the 747 "tube."
- Bill Nye, Neil deGrasse Tyson and Barack Obama used to hang out together to watch child porn, something they hope will one day be legalized by their Catholic and Socialist buddy Stephen Colbert, who hopes to become America's first pedophile President.
- He once trolled astrology fans on his old show The Eye of Nye by pointing out that the constellations have moved from their original dates, and thus people are not the zodiac signs they thought they were, which caused a lot of butthurt and humorous reactions from astrofags and it's what landed him this article back in the early days of ED, but that was a long time ago when the lulz were still fresh and not so dank...
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
- Loves kids
- Is over-circumcised.
- Would have cured pig AIDS if you fuckers hadn't canceled his show.
- After his show was canceled, he tried to stay relevant in a number of ways that did not last long, until the nostalgia craze hit the Internet in the 2010s, where he tried copying TheAmazingAtheist and getting overly political to attract the Millennial Reddit crowd. When the 2016 presidential election rolled around, he decided to become even more of a libtard to ensure that even the mainstream media would kiss his ass to ensure his place among their ranks.
- Some middle school teachers still show his show in their classes, because as we all know it will make kids little science geniuses.
- He did this fucking annoying thing where he'd repeat an important scientific word nine times with different close-ups of his face each time. This along with the constant repeating of his name in the intro is an obvious hypnotism method to garner more sexual attraction from every child in grade school.
- He has demanded that questioning global warming should be a crime and anyone who questions him on the matter should be arrested and tortured for their heresy.
- Not even half as cool as Mr. Wizard on Nickelodeon
- He believes that global warming did 9/11 and ISIS, and that it is mostly responsible for all terrorism.
- Completely plagiarized a faggot named Paul Zaloom's act.
- Did we say he loves kids?
- We aren't even being sarcastic or exaggerating with some of these, which is pretty disturbing by itself.
- BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
—Global warming did 9/11 and ISIS according to Nye and The Huffington Post | ||
NOW YOU KNOW....
Bill Nye Saves the World
In 2017, some faggots on Netflix thought it would be a good idea to give this long-forgotten host of a 90s kids program a new TV show because Reddit won't shut up about him. This resulted in the birth of Bill Nye Saves the World, a program geared towards kids and general audiences which is basically just more nostalgia bait for 90s retrofags who want a newer and edgier version of Nye's old show in a vain attempt to relive their lost childhood. The show is an agonizingly long period of Bill acting as stiff as a board while regurgitating anything Phil Plait and his feminist posse have told him to say, so basically, Nye is whoring himself out because he has nothing of real value to say. The show is basically if Reddit and Tumblr had produced their own show, filled with plenty of awful humor and the kind of propaganda you would expect to see on liberal college campuses. The show gained much infamy after the song "My Sex Junk" by Rachel Bloom played on the show, which was basically her preaching about gender identity and fucking as many holes as possible. Surprisingly, the song was so awful and cringeworthy with its blatant propaganda that even most of Reddit hated it and is rapidly becoming one of the most disliked videos in YouTube history, even giving the Fembusters a run for their money. No one's actually made it past the first episode, so we really can't say anything else.
Videos
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Gallery
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"That's wrong, you fucking retard!" (used regularly on image boards by people who can't come up with good counterarguments.) -
When you want to look like an expert. -
Bill Nye the Anime Guy for when you're trying to look smart on /a/
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Bitches don't know. -
Bill, Obama and Neil enjoy a nice babyfuck. -
Nigga you gay -
Holy crap, these oldfags are actually fucking each other. -
"According to Science, It says you're a heretic." -
Absolutely Euphoric -
Even Ivan Drago is more of a real Science Guy than Bill. -
tfw even an actor and a musician are more qualified to be called scientists than Bill Nye. -
Even nigger rappers are more qualified. -
Bill Nye the (((Science))) Guy -
Bill Nye the Funky Guy -
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Billy the Pooh -
Gender: Scientist
Pronouns: Guy, Guy and Guy -
Science is Dead and queers have killed it (Nikola Tesla hopes you all rot in hell for this, just so you know.)
See also
- Albert Einstein
- Bill Clinton
- Bill Cosby
- Billy Mays
- Carl Sagan
- Cedric The Entertainer
- Fred Phelps
- Personal pronouns
- Scientology
- WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?
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Bill Nye is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |
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Bill Nye is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article April 30 & May 1, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Joss Whedon |
Bill Nye | Succeeded by Bill Cosby |