Jordan Peterson

Beginning

In the nation of Soviet Canuckistan there arose a man.

Aboriginal folklore told of his coming. Some tribes called him Nanabozho or Glooscap. Other tribes called him that guy from the U of T.

The Soviet Canuckistani army at first tried poisoning him - to no ill effect. Then they shot him - three times. Then they dumped his body into the Niva river. But he arose, shouting, "There are only two genders!"

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A bearded Jordan Peterson

His Books

The works of Jordan Peterson are long and immense. They are filled with how when he was a kid he feared the real Soviet Union would find out about Soviet Canuckistan and crush it from above somehow and then, growing older, he realized that there were only two genders.

The Dark One

Through dedication and hard work he became a university professor lecturing tirelessly about how there are only two genders.

But then the Dark One arose and began to mess with the fact that there are only two genders.

The Dark One is a giant demon, frozen mid-breast in ice at the center of Hell. He has three faces and a pair of bat-like wings affixed under each chin. As he beats his wings, he creates a cold wind that continues to freeze the ice surrounding him but as he beats his wings he creates more and more genders.

And that really pisses Jordan Peterson off.

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The Dark One in human form