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Blockland
A successful attempt at creating something with even worse graphics than Minecraft, Blockland is a high-quality FPS made by some hardworking developer known as Badspot. In Blockland, a player can hang out and build cool things with awesome features! Sadly, it is instead another game that tries to replicate Legos making it somewhat the most inferior Lego sim in the universe, but unsurprisingly equally shitty. The only lulz in Blockland is the constant arguing and battles between another useless game known as Roblox and themselves, which ends up in IRL wars and dramas between special needs children. The only use for Blockland is for keeping the autistic kids in games instead of letting them lurk IRL.
Blockland Forums
The forum consists mainly of children under the age of 14, like in the game. The forum has slowly degenerated into a /b/oard, with retards making an appearance in almost every thread. The forum is run by Badspot, aka 29-year-old Eric Hartman, your average virgin basement-dweller.
Some Blockland players are Macfags and still can't get the game to work, which is strange because "Macs just work." Blockland only works on the latest version of Mac OSX too, so older OSX versions can't even run the game resulting in whiny 12-year-olds who can't get their parents to dish out $20 for an Apple Software Upgrade.
The forum has a drama section for retards to bawww about their fellow 11 year old players and to spark flame wars with other players who made them butthurt. When they aren't flaming each other, they're talking about the creator's penis and how they would suck it right off of him. Srsly.
The forum has a gallery for the terrible creations made by the newfag players of the game. To protect their feelings, Badspot enforced a rule where any negative comments about their pixelated, untextured shit will get that person banned.
Blockland vs. Roblox
There is a constant war between Blockland users and Roblox users in the form of a superiority complex, e.g. members will spam each others' sites with insults such as "ur game sux lol". All Blockland players know that the superb graphics in the game are superior to Roblox, and that they paid $20 for the keg of shit that is a Lego clone. PROTIP: The Blockland community is usually the one flipping their shit the most, so it's much easier to troll them by just mentioning Roblox.
—Robo Dude, telling it like it is. | ||
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The sad thing is that on the "games" board, it's impossible to find one topic per page that isn't about minecraft showing you that blockland users care more about minecraft than the game they white knight daily.
In short, this game is a horrible fucking rip off of Minecraft ( Editor's note: Um. Blockland came first. Even though Minecraft is much better. But the rest of this paragraph is true. ) where fags can make girls they will never get to fuck and masturbate at the fact they found a retarded version of the game they failed at but can still waste hours of their day building a meaningless structure such as the many dicks you commonly see that they wish they had. Those who can not accept this fact troll here just to edit these factual accusations so the word does not reach the ears of the soon to be camwhores and confused 13 year old boys that they might get to lurk on. Sad to see yet another game have a cult that hershey stains the right of free speech just so random hermits that don't own anything can play lego versions of games their mom's won't buy for them.
Gameplay
Blockland is a multiplayer game, most servers being roleplay servers, since building things out of massive Legos is so like IRL. The kiddies on the game have so little fun from building things it usually ends up in them ragequitting from working too hard. That's right, the game's player audience is mostly underage B& making the experience so much more enjoyable. The build servers are usually full of 14-year-olds building penises or naked anime characters.
An easy way to troll is to gain administration privileges, usually just by being nice to the owner and complimenting him/her frequently. Once you're an admin, Permaban everyone when the owner of the server or the other administrators aren't there. If you do this professionally, you will obtain an excessive amount of lulz and might be able to get a drama topic shitloads of pages long.
Notice how all the characters have no legs at all. This was the creator's attempt at making the game original, by making players into cripples.
Servers
There are around 220 servers for this extreme video game, with a wide selection of interesting game modes to keep you occupied. Most of them are roleplay servers, though the people who can actually afford a good computer may rarely host something somewhat fun.
Gamemodes
- Family RP, where the lonely hang out and pretend to be a mother, father, uncle, etc, much like babyfurs do with their so-called families (though without the incest yiff) just because they got disowned from their family IRL.
- Jail RP is a team deathmatch-based minigame where guards must let prisoners out of their cells without letting them escape or get weapons. The minigame is popular with the cocksuckers who bought this shit, since it's the only game mode where you actually have to use strategy.
- City RP is where players have to get a job and build shit to survive. Most of the time, it's just idiots killing each other and ragequitting.
The servers on which the game runs on are owned by kids whose unfortunate parents don't secure their PayPal details. End result, even more cancer is to hit the Interbutts.
Older Versions
Once in a time long past, BadSpot was working on the alpha version of Blockland (Vanilla), which was released in November of that same year. Eventually, it got a lot of players who modded the shit out of the game. There are many mods of Vanilla, the most popular one being "Return to Blockland", which pretty much gives you 4 shitty vehicles that glitch and crash you with use, some gay accessories, and a magic plastic stick that makes your bricks bigger / longer. It used to have a large community of members, but after the actual game released the community started going to shit. Eventually, a cocksucker by the name of "Vyper" came along and made his own forums for the game. It lasted from 2007 to 2008 before dieing out. He attempted to get more money by telling his 200 member community that they're retarded and expected people to give him money. The domain went out as of 2009, but was later replaced with another forum called "AndoRTB". The sad thing is 99.9 of the posts rest in the "Off-Topic" section, just like on the actual forums. It was fun having plastic orgies, though. Feeling lucky? Play it then! Have fun playing online.
Another version is called TBM (The Better Mod), made by a group of basement dwellers. All later mods were made by 14 year olds script kiddies fags who stole code, vehicles, and pretty much everything else from RTB and SFM. The only thing that separates it is the "i-gob" which lets you save bricks and load them on any other server. The community still exists, but it's mainly full of furfags who can't afford 20 bucks to buy the actual game. The community has made plenty of mods. DTB, TOB, TBG, etc. Back in 2005, it was discovered that TBM fucked up other blockland files and if you tried to take any code as well. In retaliation, Badspot decided to manipulate most of his fanfags into keeping people from playing TBM. But who can really blame him?
Also, a project that was going on since 2005 called "The Better Game" was supposed to compete with Retail. When Retail eventually came out, the project was canceled until sometime in 2009, Cyberprime and some other fags decided they'd work on it. It's TBM on another engine (Still Outdated) and some shitty maps. With T3D on sale for 99$ They have been trying to raise enough money to buy it. lol
Trolling
Trolling these young studs is as easy as pouring a drink, all you have to do is either make a hello topic and they'll start trying to guess if you're an alternate account or not; The other way is to go into one of the many various add-on topics and tell the maker how much he sucks at making them, or you could make a huge Goatse macro and start a server like we did so it shows up on the main site.
Random players will spam your server 95% of the time. They do this for a chance of crashing the server so they can gain e-peen. An average server can only handle up to 20,000 bricks with out lagging/crashing.
Machinimas
As with any shitty hyped-up game, there are Machinimas for Blockland. Putting Machinima and Blockland together is like combining kids with Fraps and unfunny. End result - a movie with almost pointless plots and adultish voices, e.g. 10-year-olds speaking through tissues. Srsly.
There's a dedicated channel for this shit.
Blockland players on this article
When Blockland forum-goers found this ED article, some fag named Ninja Guy made a topic and it resulted in a lollercoaster of accusations. Players eager to defend the powerful graphics and gameplay of Blockland created accounts to blank the page backed up by the white knighting of HoudiniGal.
People who have blanked this article include:
- User:EvilJebus - Replaced with "I am 12 years old and what is this"
- User:AlphaX100 - Removed every section one by one.
- User:China Wolbert - Replaced the article with crap but was reverted by MysteryBot immediately.
- User:MetalBL - Pulling yet even moar whiteknightism.
- User:.Aeris. - Didn't like the fact that she was pwned by the community she was in.
- User:MegaScience - Repeatedly attempted to get a pic down through trying to mask his edits, forgetting that Blockland members seem to love ED (and furthermore, hate him).
- MegaScience's sock.
—SeventhSandwich, because all games are terrible. | ||
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See also
External links
- The site
- Blockland forums
- Eric's "Personal" Cartoon website
- Blockland's YouTube
- Blockland has 10 year old fappers
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Blockland is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
