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Negress
Negress DNA is only 49% human. DO NOT APPROACH |
The Black chick, or Nigerius obnoxius is an extremely dangerous and territorial animal. Black chicks roam in packs, and constantly produce a loud, ear-piercing screech that can cause irreparable damage to the middle-ear. Black chicks can also cause damage to the eyes which will be explained later. Not to be confused with ebony baby chikins, which are considerably more pleasing to the eyes, and which one day end up in black chicks.
Black women basically eat whatever they desire. Depending on the region of America, they eat different things. In the South (Texas, Alabama, Georgia, etc) the diet consists of "Soul Food" which is mainly fried meats (chicken and fish) and vegetables like potatoes and collard greens with a side of peach cobbler. These goods are said to give the Southern girl her MAGNIFICENT shape of juicy breasts, SMALL CONTOURED WAIST LINE and nice round ass. You know, kinda like the ass white women like Kim Kardashian go out and BUY because she is not able to acheive it naturally. All black women do not fit in this category, though. Which is why the ones who are not as fortunate and have to resort to ASS SHOTS aka hydrogel injections (just like Northern black (islander) chick Nicki Minaj who has plenty of injections). Other black women eat just like any other American, from fast food joints to home cooked comfort foods. You don't find too many black vegetarians or Vegans (except Beyonce).
Mixed or multi ethnic black chicks (Black Latinos, Black Asians (mixed), Jamaican Americans,etc) typically eat foods of their countries as cooked by their foreign parents.
There are a considerably large amount of overweight black women, just as there are other races, but there is a difference. Black chicks do not want to kill themselves because they are fat, nor do they want to damage their esophaguses by vomitting all their meals like psychotic white women do. They often embrace this fatness, which is a shame. You will often see the ghetto class black female (mostly in Walmart) with skimpy clothing to show off those posterior breasts on her back. Shame shame shame. This type of black female is often accompanied by a extra dark black man who only weighs 120 pounds and nappy, short cornrows.
Anatomy and physiology
All negressess have envious plump rears, perfect breasts and range from light skinned to dark sknned. They also have big curly or kinky hair and piercing brown or green eyes. Beautiful!
Habitats
Black chicks always roam in packs, and are known to regularly visit movie theaters, restaurants, nightclubs, and other venues. In public places, especially movie theaters, they will perform their loud, gossiping mating calls, which will disturb others and often lead to violent encounters. Because of their size, their packs can take up a whole hall way at a mall or any other public place. To avoid this, throw a fried chicken leg off to the side of the hall. Even the best of friends will fight over it. (WARNING: Do not let them see the fried chicken before you throw it, or you will be crushed)
Sexual Behavior
Black chicks are blissfully unaware that everyone, including black men, find them physically repulsive. However, because black men will stick their cocks in anything warm and sticky, including black chicks, they have a tendency to be promiscuous and 98.3% of all black babies are born to unwed teenage mothers. The remaining percentage are born to unwed preteen mothers.
On the Internets
Many black chicks have learned how to operate computers, and some even figured out how to create MySpace pages for themselves. Do not, under any circumstances, view a black chick's MySpace, as they often post skimpy pictures of themselves which, along with the bad selection of music that autoplays, can cause permanent sensory damage to the eyes and ears.
Combat
Black chicks are ferocious fighters. They will leap at their victims, pulling hair, and thrashing with their sharp talons. The sheer weight of their asses is enough to crush the bones of a grown man's leg. Do not attempt to fight them.
Socialization
Although in some rare cases it is possible to find a black chick who is nearly fluent in English, they by and large prefer to communicate in their native language. Black chicks are very social and often play games with each other such as:
- "Oh No You Di'int" in which players attempt to speak louder than the competitors. Loudest voice wins the argument.
- "Who My Baby Daddy" in which the pregnant black chick and her friends analyze factors such as income, stability, and gullibility to choose which of several men she slept with in the past 2 months will be paying her child support.
- "Step Off Mah Man Ho" a physical sport where two or more contestants attempt to strip each other of fake hair, nails clothing and jewelry. The one who keeps most of her enhancements (and therefore reveals the least amount of natural ugliness) "wins" the man, although he continues to sleep with them all anyway.
The black chick is a pack animal and rarely travels anywhere without her "girls" and screaming, ill-behaved children. Common destinations include Church's Chicken, Beauty Supply Stores, Hair/Nail Salons, and, for the older generation of Nigra women born before the race split off from the human species, church.
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Birth Process
Since niggers have been proven to be one of the missing links to the human evolutionary chart and therefore are not humans they have a rather different yet similar birth process. Whenever a young negro finds a local nigra(usually with a name like Boqui'qui or Tyamonesia), he must act fast. As stated, nigras are very desperate animals and feed off of cum, so it comes to no surprise that they can be impregnated so soon and quick. Once the male nigger implanted his purple flavored seeds, he must make a quick getaway to avoid paying for childcare. To normal human women, they usually do not give birth to a child until their twenties or even thirties. However, to normal black chicks they start giving birth as soon as they turn 12.
Once they are pregnant, they return to their comfort zone which is inside a rat-infested bathroom somewhere located in the ghetto. It is a well known fact that all black women take about 9-months to take a shit. The reason for this is because of all the food stored into their stomachs(which mainly consist of fried chicken and watermelons) has caused her bloat(which explains why most of them are fat) combined with sperm has caused them to form a gigantic piece of feces. Once the nine-month trial is over, they will then flush the toilet which will inevitably cause the toilet to flood. There, it will discover that the traces of poo she had left is now a living creature and must care for it.
Or they could always throw it in the trash can and let it die and rot so the vultures can feed off of it. In doing this, nigras will save themselves the trouble of needing to worry about a creature/pet that they won't take care of anyways. Additionally, black women will save the entire world the trouble of another nigger robbing the liquor store for some 40 oz malt liquor.
Relations with men of other races
White men and Azn men show little interest in the colored ape known as the black girl. This is likey due to the fact that both races of men prefer their women to be attractive, petite, literate, not addicted to drugs, and free of HIV, none of which the black girl can legitimately claim to be. White men, however, have for hundred's of years made a sporting hobby out of impregnating poor, ignorant (and often enslaved) black women, creating half breeds just for the lulz. This is evidenced by the occasional beautiful black woman, as well as the anomalous intelligent nigger who wears a suit, speaks english, and possesses basic cognitive skills- traits that normally would be impossible for a black to possess without white or AZN genes. (See Barack Obama)
Latino men, in their never ending pursuit to be better at being a nigger than actual niggers, love black women. This is not so unusual, however, as latin women have much in common with niggeresses that would explain the common gardener's attraction to them. Being overweight, unemployed, frequently pregnant, toothless, drunk, heavily scarred, loud, rude, uneducated, promiscuous, diseased, ugly, lazy, stinky, and having fat asses with which to take disgusting dumps are traits that both breed of woman share.
Arabs, as they are with all women, are repulsed by black girls, because they are Hella gay bro.
Similarity to Hippos
Black women are noted for being nearly identical to the hippo, which is also obese, black, toothless, angry and dumb. Together, the negress and the hippo comprise the two biggest dangers one faces in Africa: being eaten by a hippo or catching AIDS from a nigger girl.
Some of the noted similarities between the black chick and the hippo:
- Rude
- Work as receptionists
- Stink even after being in water all day
- Treated as game by white men
- DO NOT WANT
- Have problems with locomotion over land.
- Tusks
- God is ashamed to have created them
- Black men will fuck it if there are no white wiminz to rape
- Beat their children
- Take ENORMOUS dumps all over the place
- Tip over kayaks
- Look hilarious when wearing human clothes and makeup
- Appear in rap videos
- Both are the two least feminine creatures on Earth
- Bad genes
- Breath stinks
- ????
- NO PROFIT!
Opposing Views
Because every group of people deserve a little blurb of positivity. So despite what was previously described here (and what many bitter disgruntled men of the black race will tell you (see lie)) black females receive higher education than black males, who are more likely to end up in jail than college. Black women date inter-racially in less numbers than their male counterparts often either due to racial loyalty or the stigma of slavery rape. The times you do see a black woman accompanied by a white male they are often attractive, physically fit and educated. On the other hand, overweight white women are more likely to be the kind of women you will see accompanied by black men, who often have a look on their face as if they hit the jack pot with a white wimmen (often referred to as 'pawgs' phat ass white girls) on their arms. However, there are double standard among Black women dating White men for Black males.
Noteworthy White Males Who Have Dated or Married Black Women
- Prince Maximilian of Liechtenstein
- Prince Albert of Monaco
- George Lucas
- Roger Ebert
- Robert De Niro
- George Clooney
- Brad Pitt
- Gerard Butler
- Johnny Depp
- Eric Clapton
- David Bowie
- Bob Dylan
- Iggy Pop
- Mick Jagger
- Roland Betts
- Peter Norton
- Wolfgang Puck
- Robin Thicke
Non Noteworthy White Males Who Have Mingled With Black Women
- Strom Thurmond
- Thomas Jefferson
- Bill Maher
- Kid Rock
- Paul Wall
- Sean Penn
Gallery
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Pop quiz - which of these is a black chick?
(Answer at bottom of page)
Also See
- Sittin On Tha Toilet-->One of the most famous and "lulzy" musician/rapper black female on the Internet and especially Youtube.
- Slut-->Most of which are actually not black chicks, surprisingly.
External Links
The Official Black Females Thread