Luvmonkeys

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ATTENTION!

This luser is a lolcow, and should be trolled to death in the usual fashion.

You can help by posting their nude pix or spamming their talk page.

Ashley Bennett (known as LuvMonkeys and Insomniac-of-Heart on DeviantArt) is a known art thief, weeaboo and all together lolcow that first appeared on 4Chan. After pictures of her crafts (that looked suspiciously like feces) were posted on the message boards, Anonymous flocked to her page to offer up some critique. They had no idea about the drama that was to come.

When The Shit Hit The Fan

On November 18, 2011, LuvMonkeys uploaded a picture of her latest cosplay endeavor to DeviantArt. Said photo was supposedly of a brooch she had made for a costume, but rather than looking like a piece of jewelry, it quite literally looked like she squeezed it out of her ass.

The picture got a lot of attention from the cosplayers of /cgl/, where nobody has anything better to do. Her account was posted and one look at her gallery revealed a treasure trove of sewing and crafting monstrosities. Many users offered up constructive critique at first. They gave suggestions on how to improve or what supplies she could have used instead.

Rather than taking the criticism she was given, Luvmonkeys flipped the fuck out.

DeviantArt Escapades About missing Pics

How it all started.
What the brooch in question was supposed to look like.

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Her art, with a helpful edit by anon
A tender moment.
Made by herself, for herself.
For sale for $15

The Truth Is Revealed

One by one, those who knew Luvmonkeys IRL began to make themselves known in the thread, revealing that more than eleven people were sick of her shit. Luvmonkeys caught on to this and started deleting friends on Facebook, but somehow managed to avoid most, if not all of them.

With these 'mutual friends' came more stories about Luvmonkeys and her batshit insanity. Tales of autism and many other long lists of mental diseases she expresses and/or claims to suffer from were told, including one anon posting quote "that time when she was upset about not being able to go to a meetup because she didn't get her camera...? The camera was going to be a gift from her grandfather - who died the day of the meetup. 'Sorry I can't go, guys, my grandpa died! Guess I'm not getting my camera now.'" Inevitably, someone contacted little Ashley about her personal critique thread on /cgl/, at which point she responds by posting her sob story about the meanies at 4chan on Facebook. She may or may not have made a post in the thread, defending herself in the only way that she knows by claiming that it's EVERYONE ELSE that has a problem and not her.

Gallery of Fail About missing Pics

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And she questions how they found her so fast.
Her beautiful artwork! UGUU
I don't think you know what that word means.
Pajamas in a public park = classy.
She's not sick!
What eyebrows?
Professional cosplay makeup.
For sale for $50
For sale for $30
Does he have spider veins?
Crying ukes are so kawaii!
God have mercy.

CPS Fiasco

Pics surfaced about the horrible state her living room and general house was in. Anons that knew her confirmed this. Her mother posted a picture of the house on Facebook, which confirmed it even further. Something about her dad abusing her surfaced from her journals, so a few anons called Child Protection Services, but Ashley found out and freaked, baleeting her journals and eventually her whole Luvmonkeys account on deviantArt.

Unfortunately, anons started saying that it could take weeks for something with CPS to happen, so the delicious dramu stood at a stand still for a while.

Eventually it became known that nothing happened at all. The only good that came out of this was that Ashley laid low for a while until she went full retard again with her new deviantArt account, which, via Facebook status update, she was completely flabbergasted by /cgl/ finding it so quickly (she friended almost everybody from her Luvmonkeys account).

Drama Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Luvmonkeys drama reemerged recently when a thread was started on /cgl/ with a picture of her ridiculously off-kilter Ayame commission, (which she totally measured by letting mom wear it!) In the hours following, many anons criticized her cosplay while attempting to give helpful suggestions. Instead gratefulness, she gave them the perpetual middle finger. Soon after she baleeted the images. She was eventually forced to create a new account (see below). After a few hours of hassling, things settled down. She continued to post the world's shittiest art and cosplay things. Eventually, /cgl/ located her tumblrs, including an AskRoxy (Homestuck) blog.

Desu

A tripfag took it upon herself to act as an overly obvious troll and spam luvmonkey's DeviantArt with poems, confessions, a rick-roll, and praise. All the while, anons were screencapping this spammed her deviantart page with questions and accusations while a whitenight by the username Spaniel122 defended the living brooch out of her. Hours later she switched to a new account with the exact same icon, which was discovered within minutes. The tripfag immediately began again. Many of Ashley's friends message the tripfag about "cyber bullying". After Katsucon the trolling died down. However, with Ashley's journal about her brother (see below), the tripfag gave up.

Brother's Cancer

On March 11, 2012, Ashley posted a journal on Deviantart about her brother's cancer. Her brother has a daughter and a wife, and currently has 4 knots where the cancer was found and an immunity to chemo. In the journal, she said claimed her brother's cancer to be a good thing because he wasn't being mean to her any more. Of course, this was screencapped and posted along with much rage. Many anons, messaged her berating her for her lack of compassion and selfishness. She claimed her mother to have said the same thing and to have called it karma. One anon told her she was not welcome at Animazement, and she later posted on the AZ group wall whining about how she wasn't going anymore. Not soon after, Ashley made (yet another) facebook status about "going to sleep forever"

The Day /cgl/ Stood Still

For a long time, Ashley drama remained pretty normal, many people, including the tripfag from before had lost interest in Ashley. That is, until one anon decided to call her out on some of her shit. The main subject being her claims of abuse from her father. Points were made and just when Ashley was finding herself backed into a corner, she mentioned she was slitting her wrists at that very moment. When the anon threatened to call the local hospital, Ashley even had the gall to say she wanted to go to the 'nicer' hospital because she liked it better.

What Ashley didn't expect were several anons calling said hospital, reporting her suicide threats and requesting the police to be sent to her doorstep. /cgl/ held its breath and waited for a lulzy Facebook status...and yet it never came. Hours passed and finally, an entire day went by without one single attention-whoring post from Ashley. Rumors circulated that she was dead. Many speculated she was not dead and was in fact, grounded. ~~As of right now, nobody truly knows what has become of our beloved Poop Brooch Princess.~~

As it turns out, Ashley stayed offline for two days. Supposedly her mother posted a status on Ashley's facebook saying her daughter had been kept in a psych ward during her absence, totally not grounded. When Ashley came back, she posted everywhere about her stay and her new meds, though refused to show any physical evidence of it, like where she had cut herself.

Hilarious Hygiene Hijinks

Ashley puts as much effort into her appearance as she does her crafts. Due to her extremely low pain tolerance to anything that isn't slicing her wrists while responding to DeviantArt comments at the same time, her facial hair has been allowed to grow to the point of putting a boy entering puberty to shame.

Refusing to pluck or even shave her eyebrows, Ashley resorts to bleaching it instead. This often results in accomplishing nothing more than making her ungroomed brows stand out even more with a mixture of yellow and brown patches. Her mustache doesn't even get that much care and is more often or not, only concealed by caked on foundation and powder. In one notable instance, Ashley applied liquid latex to her forehead and eyebrows and upon removal, ripped out a chunk of her eyebrows. Probably the closest thing to a proper waxing she'll ever achieve.

As bad as Ashley's personal hygiene is, her family home is supposedly far worse. People that have been unfortunate enough to visit this level of hell have reported copious amounts of animal fur and a heavy stench of pet urine. These claims are backed up by Ashley's own photography where she all too happily uploads photos of her living space, while being completely blind to how disgusting it actually is. The worst areas of the house, as we've come to discover, actually are Ashley's own domain including her bedroom, workroom, and bathroom. The family pets have also suffered from these poor living conditions and in one of Ashley's own blogs she mentions one of the cats eventually dying after prolonged suffering from "a breathing problem like...a cold I guess" that more than likely went untreated due to Ashley's claims of their family's financial situation.

Female Neckbeardom About missing Pics

She let her cat die of an undiagnosed respiratory infection, ever hear of a vet?
Her totally pro special effects makeup
Pluck, damn you!
Her workspace, and her collection of trash and hair she keeps on the floor

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Wallowing in her own filth
Won't even pluck for a close-up
It's... in her hair

The Sewing Sow

Ashley's love of crafting fine goods and professional attitude have made her a popular commissioner among friends that have been guilt tripped into hiring her and then paying up front for their costumes only to end up stashing them away in the back of the closets, too ashamed to be seen wearing them in public.

Her costumes come in a one size fits all design, skipping out entirely on the measurements of her client and instead using her own Jersey Shore reject mother as a dressform to ensure that everything she makes can comfortably fit everyone from the anorexic to even the largest landwhale.

Ashley chooses only the best fabrics for her costumes and when asked about her preferred materials was unable to name what fabric she used, probably because she's too money hungry to spend anything more than to pay for what she grabbed from the discount bin at Walmart. She can make an entire costume in a day which speaks tons about her sewing ability. She comes from a long line of seamstresses which includes her grandmother who is a professional and can "Sew just about everything!" but still hasn't taught her granddaughter how to hem fabric, leaving poor Ashley to turn to Facebook instead to see if anyone can explain this mystical process to her.

The Seamstress About missing Pics

She made the vest herself! Also When you see it...
what is this i don't even
A Panty costume, apparently
If the customer doesn't like it they can fix it with their clearly superior sewing skills, it's not her responsibility, duh.