OKCupid

OKCupid.com

How you know you are permanently banned from OKCupid.com

Pretend fuck only on OKCupid.com

Average person on OK Cupid. Gay male, dresses as pirate, takes boy scouts on camping trips.

OKCupid! Compatability Calculation Server

An absolutely fantastic social networking website with a focus on person-to-person matchmaking and showcasing extreme examples of internet disease.

Features

• Matchmaking - Based on at least 100 pieces of information provided when you sign up, OKCupid!'s algorithms locate other pedophiles with whom you are sure to enjoy a fruitful relationship. All potentials are assigned a percentage for compatibility. The complex nature of these calculations ensures that you will be no more than a 75% match with yourself. The matching system also has a very useful feature built in. When searching for potential matches, it finds "matches" based solely on location, not by personality, ideals, or anything else that might actually be useful when using a dating site. Of course, everyone knows that ALL PEOPLE WITH THE SAME THOUGHTS LIVE IN THE SAME, EXACT PLACES.
  • "Improve Your Matches" is a never-ending survey featuring user-submitted questions. It is important to look at how your potential "matches" utilize this survey, because if they answered more than five questions, they probably have a serious disorder and should not be dated.
• Tests - Once you have an account, you must immediately create a "test". Typically, a test includes at least three but no more than 5 questions. Popular subjects include, "The which brand of hemorrhoid cream are you Test" and "The To What Extent Are You Hardcore Test". OKCupid! encourages creativity by prepending and appending "The" and "Test" to every test's name, respectively. All tests return yet another meaningful percentage indicative of your performance. With any luck, your test will be insightful and rise to the top of the "most popular" list, becoming a meme.
• Gay - Upon registration, you will catch teh gay. An initial gay infection usually results in a gay index of at least 60%, but no more than 90%.

Appeal

OKCupid! was designed from the ground up to appeal to everyday pedophiles. One may also find camwhores, drama queens, gays, and emo kids with broken contrast knobs on their webcams.

The creators of the site (professed Harvard graduates) originally insisted that they did not wish to profit from their site. Those more familiar with the situation realize that OKCupid! did not charge for its services because at least 100% of pedophiles' Paypal accounts have been frozen for attempting to sell child porn on eBay.

In the summer of 2009, however, they reversed their stance, introducing a special "A-List" status for users who wished to buy a paid subscription to the site. A-List users are spared the sight of banner advertisements and other inconveniences. In other words, the site’s owners reckoned that anyone too stupid to install an ad-blocking plugin for their web browser might also be stupid enough to help foot the monthly tab for hookers and blow.

All women on the website, whether or not they care enough to pay for it, will weigh a minimum of 400 pounds, have 9 kids, and want their prospective mates to financially support them. They demand any guy who contacts them be a bodybuilder and be wealthy.

Statistics show that the average OKCupid user is also into Wicca, vegetarianism, polyamory, socialism, and quite possibly, the consumption of human feces. If you think this is a joke, feel free to browse OKCupid for yourself.

Tests

As mentioned above, OKCupid has a variety of user-made tests in addition to special, higher-quality ones made by its staff. Presumably this is done for fun, although this might also help the more discriminating nerd find a suitable lover: "You'd be a black mage, too?"

More sample test topics include:

• Which type of STD are you?
• The "Would I let you finger my asshole" test
• What color is your poop?
• The "How would you die at Auschwitz" test
• What kind of laxative would you be in a Steampunk world?
• How big of a whore are you?
• Are you Emo and gay?(answers always yes)
• How many fat chicks hitting on you does it take to make you leave this site? Test.

Usually, tests are made by people who could barely pass tests designed for middle-schoolers; consequently, neither the questions nor the results make much sense.

Forums

Last Thursday, OKCupid came out with its own forums; immediately thereafter, the first OKCupid forums troll was born. The OKCupid forums are a great place to see people bitch over women not contacting them back and also a place for furries, Wiccans, and liberals to preach the virtues of their perversions. OdumCarlock is one of the forum's most prolific and easily angered posters.

Update - On February 15, 2009, the OkCupid mods went insane and deleted almost everyone interesting who posted on the forums. Those responsible may include:

Fireknight159 - Born more than 100 years ago, Fireknight159 is a psuedo-intellectual faggot who babbles on and uses so many big words that his posts are incoherent. Loves to follow users around like a puppy dog and flag them.

Somelocalartist - Somelocalidiot hasn't had a girlfriend in more than 9000 years, and decided to get attention and kudos by following users around and flagging everything they say.

Gallery of Fail

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  What EVERY female on OKCupid looks like.
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  Typical male OKC user.
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  Ugly chick, Ugly trap? you be the judge.
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  The typical brony on Okcupid
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  Some questions are more important than others.
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  Advice from your average OKCupid hambeast.
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  Another OKC fatass talks about health and fitness.
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  Okcupid prides itself on providing the absolute cream of the crop.
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  Typical okcupid though guy
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  Typical OKC fedora fag
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  Another typical OKC fedora fag & is also a weeaboo nigger
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  Aaand another OKC fedorafag - he's just ballin with his fedora, ladies...
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  OKC has lots sub-species of faggots
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  EVERY nice guy on OKC
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  Don't say I didn't warn ya about the OKC nice guays
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  OKC nice guy & a "teacher"
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  OKC nice guy again...
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  Does the airplane believes that female airplanes have the obligation to keep their wings shaved?
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  LMFAO
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  OMFG a one epic fedorafaggot
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  Bronyfag with Fedora.. even hamcow will friendzone him
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  OKC nice guy gentelman.. this is can go endlessly XD
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  Typical OKC nigger
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  ShitCupid also has nice amount of Juggalos
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  And also lots of cats
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  another fagly okc juggalo
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  okc furfag
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  Basically asians on OKC
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  Ladies, hold your orgasms, you gonna get the 8
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  no h8 pls
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  The matter is that he said he's not gay
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  Kings of photoshop save the day!
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  SORRY LADIEZ
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  OKC is full of mentally retarded people, it was established so mentally retarded people could "breed"
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  that awkward moment when your MOM finds you on OKC and she's 95% match with you LOL
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  He will eat your mommas possy like a watermelon
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  OKC known to have relevant advertising
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  how conversations on OKC typically start
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  Another example of OKC mental retardation
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  typical OKC whale
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  Typical feminist profile on OKC
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  Don't hate her cause she's better than you
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  Unusual... no fedora
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Also Known As

• Ho-kCupid - This is a hip and edgy way to indicate that the women found on OKCupid! have loose morals. The fact is, there are no women on OKCupid!.
• OKStupid - denigrating pejorative generally applied by 16 year old girls on Xanga

Related Articles

• Nude Greg
• Justine Sacco

External Links

• OKCupid!
• NAMBLA's official website
• "Rape Fantasies and Hygiene"????
• "Nice guys" of OKCupid

• A replacement site for Nice Guys of OKC