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Donna Simpson

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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You ladies may need to run like hell.

Donna Simpson was an attention whore from Akron, Ohio, who was trying to be the fattest person in the world. She weighed over 600 lbs, but she was on a quest to reach 1000 lbs. She costed the taxpayers $750+ a week on food just for her. Donna decided to go on this quest after she weighed a slender 154 lbs. She decided after she was under 200 lbs. to devote her entire life to becoming a giant lard ass who seeks the attention of everyone around her. Needless to say, this quest ended up getting her the fame and notoriety she so desperately wanted, at the cost of her mobility, of course. It's rumored that Donna may not make it past the age of 50... The taxpayers hoped this was true.

The Sad Quest Begins

Donna was a relatively normal child. The only issue she had was that her mother was a hambeast who decided to constantly create giant meals. Considering the family was poor and Donna was the youngest, she decided she needed to eat as much as possible or starve for the next three days. This proved to be failure at its finest, as she weighed 200 lbs by age nine. Hilarity ensued as every kid in school called her "fatty four eyes" and poked her fat gut like the Pillsbury dough boy. At age 11, though, Donna's mother realized a sad fact about being a hambeast... Her heart dun goofed.

Naturally, her father did what most people would do after being married to a hambeast, marry a new wife. With the new wife smell still on her, Donna's stepmother decided that her perfect little home didn't need to be occupied by fatties. So, in her mind, the little porker needed to get on a diet. Of course, to make sure that nothing would harm the little pig, she did seek the recommendations of a doctor. Donna, however, decided that her stepmother was entirely evil and the only way she could combat it was to hide the diet pills and eat more. This went well until Donna realized that she needed to attract a mate.

So, scrambling as fast as she could, the fat bitch gobbled the diet pills, for great justice. With hard work and persistance, the porker was down to 154 lbs. Yet, she was miserable as she graduated high school. So, she decided on that day to become the dedicated fatty that we know and love today.

The Hambeast Marries

As with all things, even fatties needed love. The funniest part is that the fat cunt wasn't just able to attract one man, but two men. Holy fuck, boys. If you waited about 10 or so years, you could've possibly gotten a crack at someone less obese, but not by much. For the sake of making this more bearable, we present the two marriages of Donna Simpson. May God rest your soul, you sick fuck.

Part 1

Chug, fattie, chug.

Donna married someone that was close to her heart (and heart problems), a chef at a steakhouse down the road. Robert Simpson was like every other normal man... Except for the fact that the bastard would shovel loads of leftovers from his greasy spoon down his wife's gullet. Otherwise, he was perfectly normal.

   
 
We'd stay up and eat huge piles of steak, mashed potatoes, and gravy with butter.
 

 
 

After Donna decided to pop out their son, the chef figured out that he was married to a hippo. As he saw himself as an enabler, her first husband decided the best thing to do would be to pull anchor and head out the door. Donna was understandably distraught, as she lost her favorite source of stuffing her fat face. Oh, and she was a single mother, too. But mainly, she lost her source of stuffing her fat face. Sadly, she had to move back home with her father...

Needless to say, Dad realized that his little Donna was turning into his late wife... A beached whale with no chance of living. As such, he ordered his youngest fattie to down more diet pills and get rid of her gunt, nao.

Part 2

Get some sugar, nigra

Donna was distraught at the fact that her own father was forcing her to be healthy. As such, she turned to a fat support group online for help. Hoping for an escape, she found just the man. In 2006, Donna married Phillippe Gouamba. The wop was her knight in greased armor, as he scooped her up, with the assistance of a crane, away from her father and stepmother. He was horrified at the fact that she was being forced to lose all of that weight he found sexy.

As such, Phillippe did was most fattie lovers did... He impregnated the hambeast with full force. As Donna weighed in the baby elephant range, this presented a hell of a problem to her doctors. How the fuck where they expected to deliver a baby who could be crushed between its mother's massive thunder thighs. The solution: They would have to cut the whale open and deliver the baby. Lulz ensued, as the doctors realized that it would a shitload of people to deliver this poor child into this fucked up world.

No, bitch, this is mommy's food!
   
 
It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my weight down.
 

 
 

—Donna on gaining weight

Surprisingly, Donna survived giving birth. Her daughter, though... The jury is still out on whether or not the doctors did her many favors bringing her into this world. Considering that her mother was now the "largest woman to ever give birth", we're not sure the little one wants to admit this fact when she reaches grade school that she was birthed by a baby hippo. As such, Donna realized that motherhood was going to be a lot of responsibility if she wanted to help provide. So, she took up one activity that was relatively easy for any subhuman to do, camwhoring.

This provided for Donna for a while, to ease the food stamp cost in our wallets. However, the more money she acquired, the more the fat bitch ate. It got to the point where she demolished the following during a meal in 2010:

  • Two 25 lb turkeys
  • Two Maple Glazed Hams
  • 15 lbs of potatoes
    • 10 lbs roasted
    • 5 lbs mashed
  • 5 loaves of bread
  • 5 lbs of stuffing
  • 1 gallon of gravy
  • 1 gallon of cranberry dressing
  • 20 pounds of vegetables

Said meal was said to have taken two hours to consume. There is no way to imagine the horror...

Single Hambeast

Sadly in 2011, Donna and her beloved nigger wop legally separated. After the Thanksgiving Dinner from hell, Donna realized that maybe the was taking things a bit too far in her life. She could barely walk. She needed the assistance of a Hoverround. And her husband was a raging fat chaser. So, she moved away from her New Jersey home. And went back to the state where the lulz started. Ohio.

Diet

Donna figured out after she left her enabler husband, that she was really was unable to wipe her own ass. Hence, Donna decided she needed to get back to a healthy weight where she can play with her children and possibly herself. Hence, Donna is on full course to try to get below the lofty goal of 400 lbs., 370 lbs. As such, she has become a part of the Fat Acceptance Movement. Again, hilarity will ensue.

Camwhore

Donna even has a page on a porn website where you can pay to fap to her eating McDonald's and other nutritious edibles. Needless to say, this website was a way to help the citizens of New Jersey ease their portions of taxes needed to provide meals for this SUV sized cutie. The bad part is, there are people who would pay for this shit. And yes... There are pictures of it...

You Know You Want Pictures, You Sick Fuck

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See Also

External links

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