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Christopher Foster
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Christopher Foster became an hero on the 1st of September because of failing to meet payments for his house and business. But before killing himself and burning down his multi-million pound mansion, he decided to pwn his horses and dogs, including his wife and teenage daughter; which is the equivalent. Anon physicists are analysing the data in order to effectively create a vaccine rendering dogs useless. Work on curtains remains slow.
Police at first believed it was arsonists who burned the house, but with the help of Amerkins, they soon found out it was a plot by Jew terrorists who did 9/11. It was soon after that discovery that led to the discovery that Jews made Christopher Foster bankrupt, and caused the recession of whole countries and nations.
Christopher Foster
Mr. Foster was at least 100 years old and was also a fatass like his wife Jillian. He was once blackmailed many years ago. Mr Foster was managing director of Ulva Ltd (wtf?). The company was running out of moneyz, and they had gotten sued the year before.
That is when the pwnage began.
He used his hunting rifle, which had the silencer on (so that he couldn't be seen by UAVs), to kill the family's two dogs, three horses. He also killed a cow and a bitch. After this epic killstreak he called in a Tactical Nuke and ended it all.
Thus, lulz ensued.
Jillian Foster
No one really gives a shit about Jillian Foster, most of the attention goes to their dead daughter. We do know, though, that Jillian Foster was the secretary for her husband's company and was a fat cow, so was bound to end up dead with fat blocking her arteries anyway.
Kirstie Foster
Kirstie Foster, before being pwnt by her father was popular at school. Her classmates will remember her as a kind, loving individual who was always fun to be with. Well, when you had as much money as this not-quite-16-yr-old-girl had, she was bound to be "popular". The fat loser of her classes, however, will remember her as a snot-nosed bitch who deserved to die and in that her death will give them many lulz over the years, and that her death was revenge for acting like a spoilt bitch who thought she was better than everyone. According to The Sun newspaper, Kirstie was executed by her father as she whoring herself to 50 year old men on Bebo. Once again, proof if proof be needed that Bebo kills. In a classic case of 'Missing white woman syndrome', every single self absorbed fucktard on Facebook has made a group dedicated to her memory, ignoring her Mother and the poor little animals.
Faggots & Comments
There have been a lot of pussies and faggots (who didn't know the Fosters' and are mostly from Failbook), and yet have decided to create tributes and shit. More caring individuals also decide to leave comments with bad spelling and grammar; Some people can't even be fucked to learn the names of the people who died. (Proof is here). ALL TRIBUTES ARE MADE FOR KIRSTIE, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE DIED!1!!11!!!1one!! Though all the people that have left comments are mentally retarded, they leave comments to make themselves feel better out of the goodness of their hearts. because their microscopic genitalia make it so they have no other choice.
— Kimberleigh Falla | ||
— Justine Louise Young | ||
Love your enemies, fucker.
—anthraxoffical, random troll | ||
— affection raper | ||
— Hayz Peachey (Wales) | ||
One of the best trubites EVAR.
The Butthurt
Upon discovering this article, many people became butthurt from the trolling of the tributes (all practically to Kirstie) and tried to delete it. Sadly, those people suffer from assburgers and don't realise ED is win and they fail miserably at life, which therefore causes them to go to Faecesbook to pay tribute to a dead girl.
Moar lulz resulted as one of the followers of the cult decided that he would try and rape the trolls and, as planned he had an epic fail. There were also plenty of wimmin who were on the internets baaaawwwing about how people HAZ NO RESPEKTS NEMORE!! Instead of being in the kitchen, cooking and/or cleaning like they were made to do.
Blinded by the light that is pure win, the butthurt masses of the the differing Kirstie fan clubs decided enough was enough and vowed to bring down teh sick and evil website once and for all. They formed another failbook group to spread this message to the masses.
Ways to get rid of ED include:
- Crying to Local MPs.
- Crying in general.
- More crying.
- Vandalising this article
- ???
- PROFIT!
8/9/2008 - Group founded. ED lol'd. 11/2/2009 - ED still exists. Oh well.
Furry Family
It was widely known among the Foster's community that they were sick fucks IRL furries. Robert Doley, Christopher Foster's brother had announced, that "Kirsty is horse-mad, and so is Jill. They'd filled the place with animals, they'd got sheep, horses, dogs, ducks, guinea pigs, special breeds of chickens. *Jill even had an incubator and hatched out some duck eggs herself this year. For Chris's 50th birthday this year she got him three sheep as his present."
Although people within the community thought that this was perfectly normal, many people still hold speculations against it, calling the family "disgusting". One person came to the police saying that he had taped the family having sex with their animals, and had blackmailed Christopher in to giving him money. Seeing how the family were bankrupt, however, this led to the family being pwnd.
* Proof she wanted to breed animals for her sick needs.
Gawd Gives Us A Sign
From the Foster Family Tribute on Respectance...
Rule 34?! → 
Video Tributes
People keep baaaawing over the girl.
Previous Video | Next Video
Gallery
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Further proof she was a whore
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Was it just me, or did you read Deanna Rape-s too? -
An artist's impression -
OMG -
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No one wants to forget. EVAR. -
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Even Bon Jovi thinks its lulzy. -
ED is more lulzy, and also see You vs. ED
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See Also
External Links
- Foster Family Tribute
- Bebo Tribute Page
Kirstie Foster's Bebo PageHAHA, DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS.- "Band" (apparently) named after Kirstie Foster; How
gaytouching. - MySpace Kirstie Memorial There are no end to the Kirstie memorials, are there?
- Kirstie Foster Memorial Facebook
- Find Kirstie Foster (Facebook) LOL
- Kirstie Appeal (Facebook)
- Get rid of ED completely facebook group (made by butthurt Kirstie lovers - thanks for linking directly to the article!) Membership only by request
- Yet another shitty memorial page
- The crappy memorials never end
- Basically a copy of the first bebo tribute
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Christopher Foster is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |