Eminem

ACHTUNG:

Eminem is a puppet
of the Jew!

	“	I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I smell. Did I mention I'm stupid?	„
	—Actual Eminem quote

Eminem or EMINƎM (Marshall Bruce Mathers III), also known as €minem, Slim Shady, M&M and The White Nigger is an American hip-hop artist widely known for his extreme rapping skillz, and as the first wigger famous for releasing an original track that reached the mainstream. This was done to encourage Aryans to dabble in nigger-"music" and its inevitable cultural consequences of depraved criminality. This Jew experiment was a success, with lasting consequences from which society is still reeling.

Eminem's debut album was called "Infinite", and it was released in 1996. However, he did not attain fame until a few years later, when he released a vastly inferior album. Eminem has sold over 9000 records ever since, and is more famous among 13 year old boys than many black rappers are, which is why he thinks he's the Rap God. While he may not be the best rapper evar, Eminem is one of the most notable, almost as infamous as 2pac. He accumulated a lot of drama and triggered the fuck out of old media by casually taking on every macabre subject imaginable, from incest, child cannibalism, mass shootings (such as Columbine), serial killers, assassinating the president, and even moar. Though no longer a superstar and now fully accepted by the NORPs, he still holds some presence in the minds of the masses.

Background

Eminem grew up in the Detroit area, dealing with extreme levels of bullying, physical and psychological amounts of abuse. His uncle who introduced him to rap, killed himself when he was young. He found solace in making up rap lyrics and singing them, but was completely shitty until his mid 20s. By this point, he already had a wife and children on the way. He co-produced an album called "Infinite", which sucked ass except like 4 songs, typical for most musicians.

Rise To Fame

The Jew realised that nigger 'music' only really appealed to niggers, who were (a) poor and (b) already corrupt. So to spread the infection to the surprisingly-resilient white race, Mathers was invited to Los Angeles and made some good impressions with that one fag Dr.Dre and got signed to another label or some shit. He made that shitty song "My Name Is". All the whitey went apeshit over it and Eminem became an overnight sensation. From 1999 to 2004, Eminem was one of the most popular and infamous musicians in America. He OD'd on some prescription drugs and nearly died. He made a recovery from this and revived his career, this time making shitty pop-rap music for the normies and teenage girls to fap to and buy on iTunes.

Controversy

Due to his offensive, lulzy behavior, Eminem has naturally offended millions of people, mainly LGBT degenerates and Soccermoms.

Columbine Connection

Yes, the soccermoms tried to fucking blame Eminem for Columbine, despite the killers (Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold) despising rap. Not backing down from the horde of suburban soccermoms, Eminem attacked them back, bringing in even moar controversy, repeatedly mentioning the killers, and using the butthurt to fuel his career, bringing in big bucks.

Several of his songs reference Columbine:

White America

White America,

I could be one of your kids,

white America,

little Eric looks just like this.

The Way I Am

And all of this controversy circles me

And it seems like the media immediately Points a finger at me...

So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie

Or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up

When you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up

With the bullshit they pull, 'cause they full of shit too

When a dude's getting bullied and shoots up his school

And they blame it on Marilyn... and the heroin, man,

Where were the parents at? And look where it's at

Middle America, now it's a tragedy

Now it's so sad to see, an upper class city

Having this happening...

Then attack Eminem 'cause I rap this way...

I'm Back

I take seven kids from Columbine,

stand 'em all in line

Add an AK-47, a revolver, a 9

A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine

And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time!

Some kid actually got v& IRL for posting these lyrics. Welcome to 1984, Americunts.

Remember Me

Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window

And stole two loaded machine guns

And both of my trenchcoats

Sick, sick dreams of picnic scenes

Two kids, sixteen, with M-16's and ten clips each

And them shits reach through six kids each

And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?

D12: Revelations

Wait 'til school's over, pu-pil are people to shoot through

Kids goin cuckoo, with a two-two

Since my fame is this new dude, in this high school

Losin his noodle learn that people don't like you

The football jocks is, spittin on him

Popular kids in school is now pickin on him

Burn out youngsta niggaz now hittin on him

And his teacher in his english class keep flippin on him

And now he's grounded with no allowances

for drinkin forty ounces, cause he was caught by his counselors

And why the fuck I gotta ride the bench coach?

Already got expelled for wearin a trenchcoat

All I ever seen is.. {violence, violence}

Told me to keep silent, stepped back in my eyelids

It's apparent that my parents weren't parents at all

That's why I blew out my brains and murdered you all!

Death Threat

In one of Eminem's songs, "We As Americans", he rants about the decadent, dumb and degenerate society that was Bush-era America. A segment in the song has Eminem state:

Than making paper airplanes out of a twenty

Fuck money! I don't rap for dead presidents.

I'd rather see the president *dead*.

It's never been said, but I set precedents.

Apparently W thought it was such a big deal that he sent the Secret Service over to Eminem to harass and intimidate him.

Homophobia

Throughout his career, Eminem has insulted and trolled thousands of fags, all for the lulz.

Hate fags, the answer's yes

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge

That'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or lez

Or a homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest

Pants or dress, hate fags? The answer's yes

Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic

Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulgin'

That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em

They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of 'em!

Anti-semitism

Out of the Closet

After decades of denial, Eminem finally came out of the closet live during an interview!

Hector's rectum

It's my sector, homosexual dissector

Come again- rewind selector!

I said nice rectum, I had a vasectomy hector

So you can't get pregnant if I bisexually wreck ya

Hannibal Lector into guy sex

and I bet ya I tantalize ya

in the less than five seconds I get ya

Fast Lane

So I'm thinking 'bout this nice, nice lady

Wait, no, stop me now 'fore I get on a roll (Danish)

Let me tell you what this pretty little dame's name is

‘Cause she's kinda famous

And I hope that I don't sound too heinous when I say this,

Nicki Minaj, but I wanna stick my penis in your anus

Cold Wind Blows

You don't listen to 'em anyway, yeah, struck a nerve

Sucker, motherfucker, might as well let my lips pucker

Like Elton John, ‘cause I'm just a mean cocksucker

I told you ain't no fuckin' way to shush me

Call me a faggot ‘cause I hate a pussy

Fack

I'm all outta gas, not so fast

Uh, your finger just went in my ass

Ow, that hurts, take it out now

Oh, wait a minute, ow, put it back in, in-in-in

This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men

I like boobs, boobs, boobs

Now see that gerbil, grab that tube, shove it up my butt

Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole

Uhh, yeah, right there, right there

Ahh, I'm coming, oh, yeah

Fack, I just came again, okay, pull it out now

Oh, fuck yeah, wait, he's not out, he's still crawling around up there

Ow, fuck, I think it's stuck

Ow, but it feels so fucking good

Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, god damn!)

I'm gonna facking come! (Oh, shit!)

Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)

I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube

Ew, ew, ew, ew

Daily Eminem Thread

Daily Eminem Thread is either a thread where OP asks people's opinions on Eminem's music or a thread where they discuss spaghetti (see the section below). These threads rarely survive for more than a couple of hours. Contrary to their name, these threads are not made daily.^[^{sauce plz!?!1!}^]

Mom's Spaghetti Copypasta

This article is copypasta.

You can help by adding original research.

>Be in school
>Hot girl in front of me
>She drops her pencil
>She bends down to pick it up
>She's not wearing panties
>Turns around and looks at me
>"Like what you see"?
>Whole class goes "oooooooooh"
>Palms are sweaty
>Knees weak, arms are heavy
>Vomit on my sweater already
>Mom’s spaghetti

(Protip 4 newfags: copy & paste it somewhere! Then you've finally done something you can REALLY be proud of.)

UNCUT DIRECTOR'S EXTENDED CUT

Campaign Speech

On October 19, 2016, Eminem released a lulzy freestyle titled "Campaign Speech" in an attempt to get himself back into the spotlight as the self-declared "rap god" and also to promote the new album that he's working on, the date coinciding with the third presidential debate and nineteen days before the presidential election. The main subject being? Politics, as if we didn't have enough of that shit occurring all throughout the year. He throws many insults towards (or in wigger terminology, disses) public figures such as Donald Trump and mentions others such as Bill Clinton, Edward Norton, George Zimmerman, Dylann Roof, Colin Kaepernick, Robin Thicke, Ben Stiller, David Hasselhoff, 50 Cent, the gender known as females (more specifically, feminists) and more people that you really don't give a shit about and therefore is not worth mentioning. All these points being closely focused on only in near 8 minutes of simply rhyming with multiple, overly complicated words that don't make any logical sense with one another, inevitably this track was met with positive comments.

Video:

	“	You got it twisted, all 'cause I offered this bitch / A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic / Bitch, get to massagin' this dick! / Like spas in this bitch, slob on it with gobs of lipstick	„

Trump Diss

In October of 2017 Eminem's media marketing handlers decided to have their little dancing monkey do a freestyle rap video on BET as a means of promoting his upcoming album. The video features Marsha Mathers like you've never seen ~~him~~ her before, all cucked up by the media and raggin like a little bitch about how Trump has got his tranny panties all up in a twist. The video covered many poorly rhymed topics, from accosting Trump with a coffee pot to snickering about his skin color. Apparently Marsha doesn't know that orange is the new black and his rhymes are all whack...

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
YouTube censors gotta cuck this cash cow
Snap back to marketing, oh there goes some lyrics
Oh, there goes more, gotta keep this Mathers muzzled
He's gagged so bad, but he can't give up the money, not now
Can't be controversial when you're owned by Universal
Shits unfunny, Rabbit's lookin like the Easter Bunny

Everybody join in!

Previous Video | Next Video

Quotes

	“	My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him.	„
	—Another actual Eminem quote, as well as proof that he is in fact a bastard.

	“	Somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found.	„
	—Eminem, coming clean

	“	Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.	„
	—Truth

	“	I always wished for this, but it's almost turning into more of a nightmare than a dream.	„
	—Eminem

	“	I might talk about killing people, but that doesn't mean I do it.	„
	—Sadly, Soccermoms are incapable of processing this information.

	“	It'd be stupid for me to sit here and say that there aren't kids who look up to me, but my responsibility is not to them. I'm not a baby sitter.	„
	—Most parents who blame him for their children's behavior, never properly parented said children in the first place.

	“	Yeah, I did see where the people dissing me were coming from. But, it's like, anything that happened in the past between black and white, I can't really speak on it, because I wasn't there. I don't feel like me being born the color I am makes me any less of a person.	„
	—Liberal faggots would beg to differ.

	“	My thing is this; if I'm sick enough to think it, then I'm sick enough to say it.	„
	—Eminem

	“	There was a while when I was feeling like, 'Damn, if I'd just been born black, I would not have to go through all this'.	„
	—Racial Irony of the modern, leftist-created world.