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Jake Davison
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| Jake Davison | |
| Nationality: | Britfag 
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| Highscore | Killed 5, injured 2 |
| Top 50? | No |
| Style | FPS, Single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
Jake Davison (otherwise known as Jake3572 and Professor Waffle), was a basement-dwelling incel who decided to shoot up his neighborhood in Plymouth, UK, on August 12, 2021. Motivated by misanthropy and a hatred of women (especially his mother), he set out to commit the lulziest High Score since Derrick Bird's escapade ten years before (with a shitty pump action shotgun). However, he would ultimately fall short, only getting 5 frags before an heroing. Despite the low kill count, incels will most likely be put in the international spotlight again, and Britain will most likely ban all guns this time.
Background
Before the shooting, Jake had complained about being alone and had posted workout videos on his since-deleted YouTube channel.
However, on his Reddit, he was more unfiltered, complaining about women (in particular his mother), and lamented at the thought of being an incel. He would make posts and comments against women and society on incel-related subreddits, including but not limited to: 
r/doomer (See removed posts: 1, 2)[1], r/IncelsInAction (See removed posts: 1, 2), r/IncelExit (See removed posts: 1, 2), r/virgin (See removed posts: 1, 2)[2], and r/UglyUncensored (See removed posts: 1, 2). He had also made several comments on r/conservative (See removed posts: 1, 2), that speculated that the media were really the ones responsible for mass shootings, even going as far as mentioning the Hungerford Massacre by name.
A week before the shooting, Jake uploaded a video to his since-deleted YouTube channel, where he ranted about being done with everything and wanting to end it all. He also mentioned that he was going to be "the next Terminator". In this time, he also ranted against his mother for "taking" his Aspie money (yes, really) that was given to him by the government.
A day before the shooting, Reddit baleeted his account for sexually harassing a 16-year old girl[3]. Knowing Jake's obsession with the neckbeard side of Reddit, this is most likely what set him off to go on a killing spree.
Britbongistan's Gun Laws
Due to the escapades of Michael Ryan and Thomas Hamilton, guns are very hard to get in the UK. As a result, most of the High Scores in the United Kingdom have either been trucks of peace, knives of peace, or bombs of peace. However, if one chooses to go the mass shooting route for their UK High Score run, they first would be facing a limited arsenal selection, as any kind of semi-automatic weapon (handguns and rifles) is banned in the land of Engs. Should one get their hands on either a revolver or a bolt-action rifle, they are limited to .22 caliber only, as every other caliber is also banned in the UK. Pump-action shotguns are somewhat less restricted in the UK, which is the route Jake decided to take.
Even if one manages to get a firearm in England, they then have to be subjected to a background check, which includes a check on all social media (we wouldn't expect anything less from Airstrip One). Naturally, this should've barred Jake from getting a firearm, but it is unclear why the bobbies decided to drop the ball, especially since they have no problem persecuting anyone who has committed the crime of wrongthink.
Jake actually had his gun taken away in December 2020, due to him bopping a couple of chavs over the head, but his guns were returned to him a month before the shooting, after he completed an anger management course.
The Shooting
Having had enough of his sad and pathetic existence, Jake started off his spree by killing his mother, the woman who was seemingly at the source of his rage. From there, after most likely thinking "eh fuck it, might as well get some more while I'm at it", he decided to take his incel rage out to the streets, first killing a father and his 3-year old daughter (he wounded them at first, then shot them each at point blank range). He then continued his walk of death to a nearby park, shooting anybody he saw along the way, killing 2 more people. After shooting his final victim, Jake came to the realization that the constables are most likely on their way, so he decided to do what he should've done in the first place; an hero. With this final act, he died as the way he lived, a virgin who couldn't score.
Aftermath
Besides the usual condemnation from roasties and feminists who drum the usual beat of "ZOMG muh evil straight white males", most of the reactions so far have come from people who are wondering why the hell the British authorities dropped the ball on Jake. Namely, why he was allowed to keep his guns when he had documented anger issues and mental illness.
It's too early to determine the long term ramifications of Jake's actions, but we here at ED are predicting two things will likely come from this: The UK will likely follow in the footsteps of Canuckistan and declare incels as a terror threat, and Britain will most likely tighten gun laws even further.
Loadout
| Class Setup | |
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| Item | Accessories/Bonus |
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Graded Score
| Kill count: | 5/20 5 dead, 2 injured |
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| Accuracy: | 17/20 |
| Style: | 10/20 Unoriginal mass shooting, in a country that hasn't seen one in at least a decade. |
| Butthurt: | 10/20 Moderate amount of butthurt in the UK, nobody cares anywhere else. |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Lulziest UK High Score since Derrick Bird |
Wanted Level:
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Constabulary
Gallery
External Links
Reddit account #1 (has since been baleeted) (Archive 1, 2)- Reddit account #2 (also baleeted) (Archive 1, 2)
His InstagramTemplate:YtchannelBaleeted! (Archive 1, Archive 2)
His Facebook
KiwiFarms thread- An imgur post of his that he used for r/RateMe
See Also
References
| Jake Davison is part of a series on  The British |
The Pride of Britain [+] Ainsley Harriott ♦ Allan Bell ♦ Baby P ♦ Ben Moynihan ♦ Ben Vodden ♦ HeavyBassX ♦ CheekyBen ♦ Dangasm ♦ David Mudkips ♦ Derrick Bird ♦ Emma Jones ♦ Georgia Varley ♦ Gordon Ramsay ♦ Heather Howland ♦ Jack the Ripper ♦ Jade Goody ♦ Jake Davison ♦ Jake Roberts ♦ Joe Blackburn ♦ Joshwa Plastic ♦ Katie Hopkins ♦ Kurtbatz ♦ Laura Talbot ♦ Lee Rigby ♦ Madeleine McCann ♦ Mary Bell ♦ Max Gogarty ♦ Michael Ryan ♦ OldDirtyBtard ♦ Peter Bright ♦ Purple Aki ♦ RandomDCE ♦ Raoul Moat ♦ Richard Dawkins ♦ Richard Reid ♦ Roger Waters ♦ Russell Brand ♦ Sam Leeson ♦ Samuel Collingwood Smith ♦ Shannon Matthews ♦ Sophie Lancaster ♦ Stephen Fry ♦ Stephen Hawking ♦ SUPERCOOLWILLOW ♦ Susan Boyle ♦ Thomas Hamilton ♦ Totalbiscuit ♦ Snaisy |
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Our Rich Cultural Heritage [+] Abbey Road ♦ The Bayeux Tapestry ♦ BBC Radio 4 ♦ BBC ♦ Britain's Got Talent ♦ Buck Bumble ♦ The Daily Fail ♦ Doctor Who ♦ English ♦ Fifty Shades Of Grey ♦ The Gorillaz ♦ The Guardian ♦ Hannah Bond ♦ Harry Potter ♦ Have I Got News For You ♦ Jack Sparrow ♦ Lord of the Rings ♦ Neil Gaiman's Sandman ♦ Nigger (Dog) ♦ Sir Billi ♦ Redwall ♦ Top Gear ♦ V for Vendetta ♦ The Young Ones ♦ Zero Punctuation
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Jolly Good Times [+] 6 BONG ♦ B3ta ♦ Bane ♦ Britchan ♦ Charlie Bit Me - Again! ♦ Chavs ♦ ChavScum ♦ Cheeky Nando's ♦ ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT? ♦ English Scum ♦ Keep Calm and Carry On ♦ Kersal Massive ♦ London 2012 Olympics ♦ Mornington Crescent ♦ Operation Yewtube ♦ I'm in Me Mum's Car ♦ Scousers ♦ Shanespannercock♦ U WOT M8 ♦ UK Lootfest 2011 ♦ Wank ♦ | |
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