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Cassiel

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Cassiel's dolls always enjoy a good round of buttsex.
Cassiel's dolls have feelings. Be sure to call them fags for good measure.
You must also tell them that they are ugly and fat. It will make them cry.

Cassiel is a Dollfie Big Name Fatty which means she spends too much fucking money on pretty resin dildos and is famous on the internets for it. She also is internets-famous in the J-Rock fandom, which means she spends too much fucking money being a weeaboo for shitty music. She's since given up trying to collect the sweat from her favorite Japanese rock star's balls however, as her dolls are very demanding of her ample free time.

While a BNF, her position in the Dollfie fandom is below that of Aimee because she is much uglier than Aimee and is unable to afford as many dolls due to being Austrailian. She maintains her position in the fandom by creating and selling fur wigs for the dolls.


MY DOLLS HAVE FEELINGS YOU KNOW

Cassiel has long felt that her dolls have feelings, much unlike those below her in the Dollfie fandom. This is not to say that she isn't a spiteful, ravenous eatbeast, ready to strike when threatened. She has in her employ an army of sockpuppets and lesser fangirls to do her dirty work, and defend the fandom when it comes under attack from Mundanes.

For instance, in old times, the long, long ago, the Dollfie article first arrived on ED. Where in which intreped EDiots posted pictures of her two BJDs in a pre-rape state. All was good and full of lulz until Cassiel did a vanity search and found the offending picture. Naturally, the only way to stop this was to violate the article since the ED Mods are sooooo meeeeeeean. And so, sockpuppets and fangirls, anonymous and with names, swooped in to attack everyone and everything associated with the article, including innocent bystanders.

In the end, much lulz and penis macros were had, as all the reverts took about 2 seconds to fix. As always.

DON'T MOCK ME THAT'S NOT FAIR WAAAAHHHHHH

Cassiel is a confirmed eatbeast, like all others before her in the Dollfie fandom. She's not even rich and famous like Aimee. She's only got 8 BJDs. How sad. She often frets on her Livejournal over how people don't like her or her dolls because frankly, IT IS TRUE.

If one wishes to troll Cassiel, they only need to say something mean about her dollfies somewhere on the internet, preferably on Livejournal. It may take her awhile to find it but she will come running in sooner or later, pocky a' dangling from her fat mouth. The day that she finds this article will be sure to bring forth some glorious wank.

Dun Dun Dun Picture Theft!

BANHAMM0RZ'D!!!1

On July 10th, 2007, Cassiel was smacked in the saggy tits by the mother of all banhammers and removed firmly from the exalted position of head ass-reamer at her favorite lurking place, Den of Angels, for being an attention-seeking emo cunt. The ensuing lolocaust almost collapsed the intarwebs and Den of Demons server melted from lulz overload. More lulz were had when Cassiel complained about the lulz overload on her LJ. Nobody knows why the banhammer fell on her enormous, drool-chopped ass, but it's been speculated that she was in fact discovered to be a fat, unwashed 47-year-old transsexual pedophile when she attempted to push her calloused, nicotine-stained finger up a 16 year old fangirl's mimsy at the latest Dollfie fag-o-con.

She now ekes out a living at the sewage farm, sucking up morsel after morsel of shit, piss, piss-soaked shit, used condoms, and tampons in an attempt to save up some cash to move to fucking Botswana or somewhere, everyone hopes. Sadly, it'll probably be spent on adding more dildoes to her gay harem of doll-u-fag.


See Also

Other Obsessions:

Fellow Dollfie-philes:

  • Kazakai - Banned from Den of Angels (Good move - should have been done the first time she scammed someone)
  • Aimee - Den of Angels moderator

Links