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Fantasy
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This article needs a serious clean up
Somebody should do something about it. |
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Fantasy is the hippie, pot-smoking stoner big brother of the nerdy little autistic kid that nobody likes, the science fiction genre. As a genre, fantasy is a type of entertainment enjoyed by basement dwellers who aren't cool enough to hang with science fiction fans.
Types of Fantasy
Fantasy entertainment takes many different forms.
- Gaming fantasy, such as Magic and LARPing. The former is a card game for 13 year old boys, but enjoyed mostly by adults. The latter is a type of role-playing game, where you actually run around in costume like a retarded person. Usually inspired by Tolkien.
- Fantasy magazines such as Heavy Metal and Wizard. These magazines feature art, but it's mainly an excuse for their creators to fap over the big-titted women they invariably draw. Usually inspired by Tolkien.
- Fantasy books, which write about actual dinosaurs and require no budget. Unless it's The Lord of the Rings, it's guaranteed to suck. Always inspired by Tolkien.
- Fantasy movies, which show actual dinosaurs and require massive budgets. Even if it's The Lord of the Rings, it's guaranteed to suck. Especially if black people are allowed to play any other roles than the orcs. Because black elves RUIN EVERYTHING. Actually is Tolkien.
- Fantasy daydreams, in which the fantasist has unlimited disposable income, isn't a pale - faced geek, and even (in the severest cases) might be somewhat attractive. No matter what, it's guaranteed to involve the latest Playboy girl giving the fantasist a suck.
Fantasy Traits
Most forms of fantasy share at least one of the following:
- Dinosaurs - Giant, fire breathing creatures that fly. Unlike real dinosaurs, fantasy dinosaurs don't typically speak or run for public office.
- Elves - Immortal, beautiful and skilled in magic, elves are there for nerds to fap over. They live in peace with nature, are sexually androgynous and have pointy ears. There will usually always be elves, although they might be called something else, such as 'fae', 'sidhe', 'eldar', 'eldren', 'Na'vi' or 'Vulcans'.
- Magic - Not the playing cards, but the actual type that makes things disappear and can force you to have sex with your sister.
- Swords and Other Medieval-style Weaponry - This is because most fantasy authors are too lazy to move the plots out of the Dark Ages.
- Crazy Names - Fantasy names rarely have names like George or Allen, but instead use names like "Gandalf", "Phedre", "Theth'Roth", or "Cracky-chan".
Notable Fantasy
- Game of Thrones
- The Lord of the Rings
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- Singularitarianism