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Kesha/Timeline
| Date | Event | Location |
|---|---|---|
|
May 1, 1776 |
Adam Weishaupt founds the Illuminati. |
Ingolstadt, Bavaria |
|
March 17, 1956 |
Rosemary Patricia "Pebe" Sebert hatches from a reptilian egg. |
Michigan City, Indiana |
|
September 26, 1973 |
Lukasz Sebastian Gottwald is born. |
Providence, Rhode Island |
|
March 1, 1987 |
Pebe attends a party and Kesha Rose Sebert suddenly falls out of her vagina. |
Los Angeles, California |
|
May 1, 1991 |
F.A.R.T. the Movie is released. The film features an old woman identifying the scent of 4-year-old Kesha's fart as coming from a "very virile man". |
|
|
1997 |
Dr. Luke joins Saturday Night Live as their lead guitarist. |
NBC |
|
2003 |
Pebe forces 16-year-old Kesha to record her first song, "Stephen". |
|
|
May 12, 2005 |
The Wedding Planner episode of The Simple Life airs. This episode features two whores staying at the Seberts' house while planning a wedding. |
Fox |
|
September 26, 2005 |
Kesha signed a contract with Dr. Luke and his record label, Kemosabe Records. |
|
|
October 5, 2005 |
Kesha attended Nicki Hilton's 22nd birthday party where she wasn't drugged or raped. |
Paris Hilton's House |
|
October 6, 2005 |
Kesha did not wake up naked in Dr. Luke's bed and did not phone her mum. |
Dr. Luke's Bed |
|
December 5, 2005 |
Kesha has her lawyer, Fred Goldring, attempt to terminate her contract with Dr. Luke. |
|
|
January 27, 2006 |
Ke$ha enlists DAS Communications to find her a better contract within a year. |
|
|
February 26, 2005 |
Kesha failed to produce an album within 5 months as required by her contract with Kemosabe Records. |
|
|
August 28, 2006 |
Paris Hilton's single Nothing in This World is released. Ke$ha sings back up. |
|
|
January 22, 2007 |
Ke$ha joins MySpace under the username "keshaishot". |
MySpace |
|
January 27, 2007 |
DAS Communications fails to find Ke$ha a contract within a year. |
|
|
May 25, 2008 |
DAS Communications sent Ke$ha and Pebe an email in which they used "explicit language" when referring to Dr. Luke. |
|
|
September 11, 2008 |
Ke$ha attempts to terminate her contract with DAS Communications and celebrates Jews Did WTC. |
|
|
November 28, 2008 |
Britney Spears' album Circus is released. The track "Lace and Leather" features background vocals by Ke$ha. |
|
|
January 27, 2009 |
Flo Rida's single Right Round is released. Ke$ha provides female vocals for the track. |
|
|
October 13, 2009 |
Dr. Luke tweets a pic of Ke$ha sleeping on the job. |
|
|
January 1, 2010 |
Ke$ha released her first album, Animal. |
|
|
November 19, 2010 |
Tickets for Ke$ha's Get Sleazy tour go on sale and immediately sell out. |
|
|
February 15, 2011 |
Ke$ha's first show of her Get Sleazy tour. Unfortunately she didn't die of dysentery on the trail to Oregon. |
Portland, Oregon |
|
May 6, 2011 |
Ke$ha's final show of her Get Sleazy tour. |
Los Angeles, California |
|
June 16, 2011 |
Ke$ha admits under oath that Dr. Luke never abused/raped/teabagged her. |
|
|
October 18, 2011 |
Pebe admits under oath that Dr. Luke never abused/raped/teabagged Ke$ha. |
|
|
November 10, 2011 |
Ke$ha registers the domain name putyourbeardinmymouth.com |
GoDaddy |
|
December 6, 2011 |
Ke$ha makes her first post on her Put Your Beard In My Mouth Tumblr. |
Put Your Beard In My Mouth |
|
April 25, 2012 |
Ke$ha makes her last post on her Put Your Beard In My Mouth Tumblr. |
Put Your Beard In My Mouth |
|
July 5, 2012 |
The film Katy Perry: Part of Me is released. Ke$ha appears in it. |
|
|
September 25, 2012 |
Ke$ha's Die Young single is released. |
|
|
November 20, 2012 |
Ke$ha's autobiography, entitled My Crazy Beautiful Life, is released. |
|
|
November 30, 2012 |
Ke$ha releases her second album, Warrior, which crashes harder than an aeroplane into a skyscraper. |
|
|
December 14, 2012 |
Adam Lanza goes for the high score. |
Newtown, Connecticut |
|
December 18, 2012 |
Ke$ha apologizes for causing Adam Lanza to murder 20 children and then proceeds to lie about being "forced" to sing Die Young. |
|
|
December 20, 2012 |
Ke$ha admits that she lied about being "forced" to sing Die Young. |
Ke$ha's Website |
|
January 6, 2013 |
Ke$ha voices a character in the Robot Chicken episode "Papercut to Aorta". |
Adult Swim |
|
April 23, 2013 |
Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life begins airing its first season on MTV. |
MTV |
|
May 21, 2013 |
MTV shows Ke$ha drinking her own urine. |
MTV |
|
May 23, 2013 |
Ke$ha's first show of her Warrior tour. |
Boston, Massachusetts |
|
May 28, 2013 |
Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life ends its first season on MTV. |
MTV |
|
August 1, 2013 |
Ke$ha's phallic jewellery line, Kesha Rose by Charles Albert, is released and quickly sells out. |
|
|
September 10, 2013 |
"Rebecca Pimmel" starts the "Let Ke$ha have creative freedom" petition. Earliest known link to the petition dates back to September 10, 2013. |
Care2 |
|
October 7, 2013 |
Pitbull's single, Timber, is released. The song features Ke$ha and is currently her last song... and we hope that it fucking stays that way. |
|
|
October 24, 2013 |
Ke$ha states in an interview that she doesn't have enough creative control. |
Rolling Stone |
|
October 29, 2013 |
Pebe Sebert sends Dr. Luke and his lawyer an e-mail where she attempts to extort him and threatens to blackmail him with Ke$ha's false rape accusations. |
|
|
October 30, 2013 |
Pebe Sebert sends another email to add that she's planning on forwarding everything to the blogger who started "Free Kesha". |
|
|
October 30, 2013 |
Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life begins airing its second season on MTV. |
MTV |
|
December 18, 2013 |
Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life ends its second season on MTV. |
MTV |
|
December 30, 2013[citation needed] |
Pebe sent out an email to numerous fans and bloggers claiming that Dr. Luke physically and emotionally abused Ke$ha. |
|
|
January 3, 2014 |
Ke$ha checked into Timberline Knolls, an eating disorder treatment center. |
Lemont, Illinois |
|
January 11, 2014 |
"Rebecca Pimmel" joins Twitter to promote her shitty petition. |
|
|
March 6, 2014 |
Ke$ha was finally released from Timberline Knolls after doctors erroneously deemed her to no longer be a threat to society. |
Lemont, Illinois |
|
September 5, 2014 |
Simone Battle of G.R.L., a Kemosabe signed girl group, is found hanging in her closet. Ruled a suicide, but Ke$ha has never denied involvement in her death. |
Los Angeles, California |
|
October 14, 2014 |
Ke$ha files a LOLsuit against Dr.Luke and finally plays the rape card. |
|
|
December 2, 2014 |
Lady Gaga reveals that she was allegedly raped by a music producer early in her career. |
The Howard Stern Show |
|
December 2, 2014 |
Mark Geragos poses the deeply philosophical question "Guess who the rapists was?" and then responds "#bingo" when some faggot says "Lukasz". |
|
|
December 2, 2014 |
Lady Gaga's lawyers call Geragos out on his bullshit. |
|
|
December 2, 2014 |
Geragos claims that Lady Gaga's lawyers are lying and then threatens to drag Lady Gaga to court to testify against Dr. Luke. |
|
|
December 3, 2014[citation needed] |
Pebe files a counter suit against Dr. Luke claiming that he caused her to develop PTSD. |
|
|
December 23, 2014 |
Ke$ha performed live with Yeast Infection. |
Nashville, Tennessee |
|
June 9, 2015[citation needed] |
Ke$ha amends her lawsuit to include Sony. Ke$ha now claims that Sony knew about the abuse (that didn't actually exist) and did nothing about it. | |
|
September 19, 2015 |
Ke$ha's final show of her Warrior tour. |
South Carolina |
|
October 13, 2015 |
Sony rejects Ke$ha's proposal to work with them without any involvement from Kemosabe Records. Perhaps Sony would have been more receptive of this offer if the lying bitch hadn't added them to her lawsuit several months earlier. | |
|
October 19, 2015 |
Ke$ha appears in an episode of Jane the Virgin. |
The CW |
|
October 23, 2015 |
Jem and the Holograms, a reboot movie of the 80s animu of the same name, is released. Ke$ha has a small role in this shitty flop of a movie. | |
|
October 30, 2015 |
Mark Geragos files Ke$ha's request for an injunction. Interestingly, the filing claims that Ke$ha hasn't toured in "nearly a year" which is a blatant lie. | |
|
November 5, 2015 |
Pebe Sebert's Twitter account goes on a multi-tweet rant calling Luke a rapist urging a boycott of Sony. It's possible that these tweets were actually made by Ke$ha. |
|
|
February 2, 2016 |
Pebe claims that Dr. Luke is attempting to blackmail her into giving up writing credit on Timber by refusing to pay the other writers. A hilariously blatant lie since the song had already been out for over 2 years. |
|
|
February 3, 2016 |
A judge dismissed Dr. Luke's defamation lawsuit against Pebe despite the overwhelming evidence against her. |
|
|
February 19, 2016 |
New York Supreme Court Justice Shirley Werner Kornreich denies Ke$ha's request for an injunction. |
New York |
|
February 19, 2016 |
Brandon de la Cruz starts a GoFundMe campaign in an attempt to raise $2,000,000 and buy Ke$ha's contract from Sony. |
GoFundMe |
|
February 20, 2016 |
Some faggot finds the picture of sleeping Ke$ha on Twitter and immediately deems it to be "evidence". |
|
|
February 20, 2016 |
Dr. Luke realized that some faggot was about to turn an innocent photo into a big deal and attempts to delete the tweet and photo. |
|
|
February 20, 2016 |
Another faggot who managed to screencap both the photo and the deletion notice posts the screencaps. |
|
|
February 21, 2016 |
Taylor Swift donates $250,000 to Ke$ha. |
|
|
February 21, 2016 |
Thousands of children needlessly starve to death in Ethiopia because noone donated $250,000 to help them. |
Ethiopia |
|
February 22, 2016 |
Dr. Luke makes a series of tweets defending himself from the vile and disgusting harassment of the #FreeKesha movement. |
|
|
February 23, 2016 |
Lena Dumbham makes a long blog post about how Ke$ha's case is rape culture or some shit. Neglects to mention her own history of making false rape accusations and molesting her sister. |
Lenny Letter |
|
February 24, 2016 |
Ke$ha thanks all of the idiots for their support and then claims that her frivolous lawsuit against Dr. Luke was never about getting a better contract. |
|
|
February 25, 2016 |
Sony states that they are unable to release Ke$ha from her contract because her contract is not with them. |
|
|
February 28, 2016 |
Lady Gaga performs Til It Happens To You at the 88th Academy Awards, she dedicates the song to sexual assault survivors and for some reason includes Ke$ha. |
Los Angeles, California |
|
March 5, 2016 |
Ke$ha receives an award from the "Human Rights Campaign", a group that actually supports faggots instead of supporting starving children in China. |
Nashville, Tennessee |
|
March 9, 2016 |
Shitty tabloid The Crap publishes an article that claims that Sony is planning on dropping Dr. Luke. |
The Wrap |
|
March 9, 2016 |
The faggots of Twitter begin planning for the |
|
|
March 11, 2016 |
Ke$ha's fans stand outside of Sony's headquarters and harass people as an act of "protest". |
New York City |
|
March 18, 2016 |
An Encyclopædia Dramatica investigator confronts Ke$ha's fans with evidence that "Rebecca Pimmel" could be Ke$ha herself. |
|
|
March 19, 2016 |
"Rebecca Pimmel" responds to our inquiry and claims to be Austin Ryan Dean. |
|
|
March 22, 2016 |
Ke$ha files an appeal against Shirley Kornreich's ruling that compares her contract to slavery. |
New York |
|
March 22, 2016 |
The progressive libtard commenters on HuffPost begin frothing at the mouth and finally start calling Ke$ha a liar after her slavery comments. |
Huffington Post |
|
March 28, 2016 |
Ke$ha appears in the documentary series The Haunting of... where she recounts being haunted by a ghost named "Wild Bill". Srsly. |
Lifetime Movie Network |
|
April 3, 2016 |
Ke$ha claims that she rejected a deal that would have given her her "freedom" if she apologized for making false rape allegations. |
|
|
April 3, 2016 |
|
|
|
April 5, 2016 |
Jessica James, Dr. Luke's girlfriend, makes a post mocking/parodying Ke$ha's recent Instagram post. |
|
|
April 5, 2016 |
Jessica James begins making all of her social media accounts private after receiving a torrent of harassment. |
|
|
April 6, 2016 |
Ke$ha gets BTFO when Shirley Kornreich dismisses all but one of the claims in her LOLsuit against Sony. |
New York |
|
April 7, 2016 |
Jennifer Lopez releases her single and "feminist anthem" Ain't Your Mama. |
|
|
April 7, 2016 |
The spastics on Twitter begin harassing Jennifer Lopez via the |
|
|
April 7, 2016 |
Demi Lovato makes a tweet promoting Jennifer Lopez's Ain't Your Mama and is promptly harassed. |
|
|
TBD |
Ke$ha does an Amy Winehouse/Steve Irwin/Kurt Cobain. |
TBD |
