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Fitting I would get around to working on this page, considering my namesake. Added some external links to DOSBox and a site to download DOS games for free! I highly recommend them!
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==Important DOS Commands==
==Important DOS Commands==
The following are important DOS commands that all [[hacker]]s use to reveal personal information about their victim.  
The following are important DOS cummands taht their victims cum onto while they sleep.  


;echo
;cummingze.  And using a <tt>.zip</tt> file would be stupid.  Use <tt>.tar.gz</tt>, <tt>.tar.bz2</tt>, or <tt>.7z</tt>.  If you use 7-Zip you can view and extract your porn later if you open the image in 7-Zip.
:Echo types something back at you and removes Echo from whatever you typed after it. For example:
::echo YOU ARE A [[Homo|HOMO]]
:would display "YOU ARE A [[Homo|HOMO]]"




;cls
cum makes you jizz
:Clear screen
jizz makes you ejaculate.


 
I have no friends is true
;pause
:Waits for user to press the Any Key
 
 
;dir
:<s>Emulates a '[[The Matrix|Matrix]]' effect in large directories.</s> Disregard that, this is a better way to do it: do "cd .." until it says C:\>. Now do "dir /s" and shit bricks.
 
 
;<nowiki>rn c:\windows c:\apple</nowiki>
:Useful for changing your operating system to try out OSX
 
 
;<nowiki>cd c:\pr0n\gay\furry</nowiki>
:Helps you find your 16 colors [[furry]] [[gay]] [[porn]].
 
 
;edit autoexec.bat
:If you go here and [[Delete fucking everything|delete everything]], you can free up memory on your computer, giving it 64-bit power.
 
 
;<nowiki>format c: /q /u</nowiki>
:This enables your dot-matrix printer to create realistic counterfeit money.
 
 
;del command.com
:This is the DOS web browser.
 
 
;del msdos.sys
:Mandatory command to sort out all DOS problems.
 
 
;del HAL.DLL
:Deletes A Windows Genuine Advantage file that Bill Gates puts on your computer to call it illegal.
 
 
;<nowiki>deltree /y c:\*.*</nowiki>
:Native virus scanner for DOS. Detects and removes MS-DOS and all known and unknown variants.
 
 
;fdisk /mbr
:Another virus scanner that removes the [[lunix]] virus.
 
;ctty com1 (if this still works)
:Disconnects your keyboard (or whatever you typed in) from dos.
 
;copy /b Image.jpg + Porn.zip Image.jpg
:Hide your porn in an image. It will increase the image's size.  And using a <tt>.zip</tt> file would be stupid.  Use <tt>.tar.gz</tt>, <tt>.tar.bz2</tt>, or <tt>.7z</tt>.  If you use 7-Zip you can view and extract your porn later if you open the image in 7-Zip.


==See Also==
==See Also==

Revision as of 01:45, 1 March 2018

The New American DOS Sweat Shop
Entertainment on DOS revolved primarily around shooting cats in the face, just like in real life.
DOS consoles are used by HACKERS ON STEROIDS like Mike Sandy. (Computer Science III required.)

DOS, not to be confused with DoS, is an ancient Operating System ripped off from CP/M at least 100 years ago. There is much drama on the internets regarding exactly who invented DOS. Some argue that it was Jesus. Others say that it was some nob headed kid who jizzed on a Xerox machine and out exploded the bloody severed head of Sigourney Weaver. Marked by its exceptional ease of use -- and a whole lot of backslashing fun -- this operating system quickly became the crème de la crème of fucktards everywhere. Today, DOS is still in use by people that can't get over the fact that having an XT doesn't really mean you can run Lotus Spreadsheets like a pro with a Dot Matrix printer.

Note: As of January 22, 2007, Bill Gates himself told FOX, CBS, and MSNBC, that DOS was purchased from a crack whore, who got it from some hacker she had anal sex with, who thought of the idea when he saw a 3 year old kid making something with water colors and thought, "DOS!"

Acronym for Dumb Operating System, Defunct Operating System, Defective Operating System, and Dude Where's My Car.

Dos also means a fanatic Jew.

History

The nucleus of what would eventually become the steaming pile that is DOS was QDOS: the Quick and Dirty Operating System. It was written by Tim Patterson in a few weeks for Seattle Computer Products' computer kit (10Mhz, 16 bit 8086, up to 640k of RAM). Meanwhile, IBM was too Jew to buy the upcoming CP/M-86 for their new IBM-PC (4.7Mhz, 8 bit 8088, up to 256KB of RAM), and was also too lazy to make their own, so they hired Micro-Soft (they had a hyphen back then) to make a CP/M clone for them. Micro-Soft bought QDOS, renamed it MS-DOS, and sold it to IBM, starting their long history of making megabucks with marketing and without actually engineering anything. Digital Research threw a shitfit when they found out that everyone was copying their operating system, but everyone ignored them.

Obtaining DOS

1. Get Microsoft Virtual Machine
2. Install it
3. Obtain DOS Install disks of your choice (BROTIP: Use magnets for faster aquiring)
4. Install DOS on Microsoft VM
5. ???
6. PROFIT

Important DOS Commands

The following are important DOS cummands taht their victims cum onto while they sleep.

cummingze. And using a .zip file would be stupid. Use .tar.gz, .tar.bz2, or .7z. If you use 7-Zip you can view and extract your porn later if you open the image in 7-Zip.


cum makes you jizz jizz makes you ejaculate.

I have no friends is true

See Also

External links

DOS is part of a series on Programming.

[2 L337 4 MEEnter the Matrix]

ADA • Assembly • C • C++ • COBOL • Debug • DOS • Erlang • Error • Fdisk • Fortran • Integer • Java • LOLCode • Machine Code • Matlab • MIRC Script • MUMPS • Open Source • Perl • PHP • Programming language • Python • QBASIC • Ruby on Rails • Scratch • SSH • Visual Basic

Hacks

Firefox XPS IRC Attack • Safari XPS Attack • Sandworm

Programmers

Bill Gates • Linus Torvalds • Weev • Goatse Security • Terry Davis • Theo de Raadt

Other Topics

Operating system • Warez • Notepad • Is not a bug, it's a feature • Database Error

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