User:MisterRemover/Ruslan Akhtyamov

Lose an iPod? This page contains an hero.

STEP THE FUCK OFF! MisterRemover/Ruslan Akhtyamov looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Ruslan A.
Nationality:	Ruskie
High Score	Killed 4, injured 1
Top 50?	FUCK NO
Style	Single Player
An Hero?	Shotgun mouthwash

On April 26th, 2022, in the middle of more pressing matters, some batshit insane Ruskie named Ruslan Akhtyamov would enter Ryabinka Kindergarten with a stolen double-barreled shotgun and take the lives of two kindergarteners and a wagecuck, causing moderate butthurt in Russia, with the rest of the world not giving a fuck.

Who was Ruslan?

Sometime in 1996, Mrs. Akhtyamov shat out a bouncing baby retard by the name of Ruslan. Not much is known of Ruslan outside of the fact that he was 26 years old, possibly living with his mother when the attack happened, and that he was also batshit insane. His insanity got to the point where he was registered as mentally ill by the fucking state! He was also friends with the old man he stole his gun from, and became his first victim in the process, it was also reported that the old man invited Ruslan over to his house to shoot guns.

Russia and Mass Shootings

Ever since Dmitry Vinogradov's High Score attempt in 2012, there have been a fuckton of Russian players trying to get onto the coveted FPS leaderboard, with only one getting there: Vladislav Roslyakov, a pasty noodle-armed Columbiner and faggot that racked up 20 kills using a shotgun and a bomb that actually worked. Seven years later would come Ilnaz Galyaviev, who racked up 9 kills despite using a semi-auto shotgun and Timur Bekmansurov who racked up a measly 6.

This has caused the Russian government to shit themselves, first blaming Western culture, before moving onto passing stricter gun laws in Russia, a country that already has a fuckload of gun control, though that didn't really stop our hero from attempting to get the High Score. How? He just stole the shotgun the old man let him use, and killed him with it. Can't really regulate stolen guns, can't you?

Loadout

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: IZh-27	Standard double-barrel shotgun, nothing fancy. 65~155 Damage
Perk 1: Batshit Insanity File:PICTURE GOES HERE.FORMAT	You deal 30% more damage to others while taking 50% damage to yourself.
Spell: Stolen Firearm	This spell imbues the player with a higher chance to get V&, but gives your weapon +10 Damage.

The Shooting Itself

On April 26th, Ruslan woke up, did his usual shit, and went over to the old man's house, as was the usual for this retard, to shoot guns. However, while loading his shotgun, the old man, naked and screaming, tried to have his way with him, and in an act of self-defense, he shot the old man. Not knowing what to do now, he opted for the next best thing: shooting up a fucking kindergarten.

And so, using the old man's car, he'd drive over to the kindergarten, where he was confronted by some nagging bitch who met the same end as the old man, before moving onto the second floor, where the children were having their naptime.