Liz Shaw

Liz Shaw, born Elizabeth Jean Shaw in Wellington, is a hambeast currently residing in Auckland, New Zealand. Liz likes to pretend she is Australian despite not having Australian citizenship. New Zealanders wish she would go to Australia, Australians are happy she doesn't.

She started her career as an Attention_whore back around 2005 with an spectacular NZ Idol appearance.

After leaking the plot to Shortland Street, Liz managed to get herself banned from one of the larger production companies in New Zealand which was a bit of a problem as she had wanted to get herself a job in the MAINSTREAM MEDIA].

Liz managed to get the attention of a bunch of Basement Dwellers everywhere with her antics on the Internet and even had a forum dedicated to her attention seeking ways.

In 2011 Liz Shaw decided to run for New Zealand parliament as a candidate for Auckland Central. As with most things she sets her mind to, she failed dismally and became the laughing stock of the country once again.

Australia

[[Image::ScareyLizBikini.jpg|thumb|right|This is a scary picture of the Hambeast in a Bikini. Notice it is inside out.]] Liz loves Australia and sometimes dreams that she was actually Australian. Luckily for them she was born in Wellington and while she can work in Australia, is not a citizen.

Liz has tried to live in Australia at least 4 times and each time has ended in disaster. Last time it is claimed that she ended up in debt and broke and had to some back to New Zealand to live as Australia kicked her out.

Despite all this, Liz still has a love affair with Australia and it is obvious she wants to marry it. This could be a problem however as she already married Auckland.

Who knows, maybe she will one day get herself a job in the Media over there. Ripper.

Shortland Street

Liz, also an aspiring actress, was the first extra to be blacklisted from Shortland Street after leaking storyline details about the soap's romance of the year to a fan website. Liz has been banned from Shortland Street and all other South Pacific Pictures productions because she posted information she gleaned as an extra.

Craccum Debacle

[1]

NZX Porn Shoot

In 2005 Steve Crow, ‘the porn king’ advertised a nude model search in Craccum, the University of Auckland’s student magazine. The prize was $10,000 wiped off the winner’s student loan. Liz participated and posed nude, and while she did not win the competition, received $400 for her participation. Photos are widely available online, and many critics have suggested that Liz may have been more successful if she had simply waxed and wiped her ass

NZ Idol and Media Aspirations

In 2005 Liz Shaw auditioned for a place in season two of NZ Idol. Not only did try to take over host Dominic Bowden's presenting job, only to spectacularly fail, but she also performed a shocking rendition of Malibu by Hole/Courtney Love. The audition was featured on a G027 Telecom ad as being a bad example of what you could watch on your mobile and Judge Paul Ellis commented that Liz she was a "talent-free zone"

Political Career

She got a set of political slogan cards produced for $500

In 2011 Liz Decided she would stand as an Independent MP for the Auckland Central electorate. Obviously as with everything else Liz does this was doomed to failure before it started. However, many lulz were had and her facebook political page was up and down more times than a Vietnamese hooker on crack.

Liz, as an aspiring politician had the right idea, her stance on censorship was overwhelmingly obvious with anyone who disagreed with her or asked questions she found difficult to answer finding themselves banned. This included the Human rights commission who kindly pointed out that this was not the best political strategy.

What ? Violating Human Rights ? Not allowed to censor ? I think I'll just delete that and it will go away !

Anyway, after censoring the Human rights commission, Liz went on to tackle larger problems, like how to build a bridge between Auckland and Sydney. This of course got picked up by various Media outlets and she became a bit of a laughing stock.

Undaunted by the stupid people laughing at her, she added other things to her slowly growing list of policies and things she stood for (I know, most politicians work this stuff out BEFORE running, but not our favourite Attention Whore)

Right before she once again failed to actually finish something she started, and removed her political campaign page, she had written: "Standing for parliament has been a long term goal of mine, and I'm doing it this year because I feel I have something very worthwhile to contribute and the time is right.", I guess the time was actually wrong.

Some of Liz Shaw's Policies

Burqas can be sexy !

• Building a Bridge between Auckland and Sydney
• Outlawing breastfeeding in public
• Forcing earthquake stricken Christchuch to relocate to Otara
• "Fixing" Auckland's Public Transport
• Introducing a toll bridge between North Shore and Auckland Central
• Reducing the toll charge when she got a car
• Banning the burqa
• Paying those with physical disabilities less to work

External Links

• Liz Shaw NZ Idol video
• Epic Liz Shaw is a crazy bitch thread
• Crazy emails to Craccum admin