Marion Jones

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMm!!!!!1!!

Marion Jones is a ghetto black person Olympic sprinter for the United States of Americunts that won 5 Gold Medals at the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney, Australia.

On October 5th, 2007, Marion Jones admitted to lying to the fuzz about her use of steroids prior to the 2000 Summer Olympics and pled guilty at the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. She confessed that she had made false statements regarding the BALCO case and a Jew case. Jones broke down in tears as she apologized for her actions, saying she fully understands she has disappointed her friends, family and supporters. When asked about why she did it she simply stated "I did it for the lulz."

Her ties with BALCO

For years, Marion was coached by Trevor Graham, who had supplied other sprinters with steroids, as well as Charlie Francis, who supplied steroids to Ben Johnson and Chris Benoit. Both her coaches and her trainers were tied with the infamous Jew Victor Conte, who has been suppling athletes with 'Riods since time began. Was married to C.J. Hunter and Tim Montgomery, two other Olympic runners that were pwned for taking steroids.

In 2003, Jones was one of the athletes that were ordered to testify to the fuzz in the BALCO investigation.

The 2004 Olympics

In 2004, Jones insisted that she was steroid free and threatened to sue the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency if they banned her from the 2004 Athens Olympics. At the time there wasn't enough evidence for her to be B&.

SO, a "clean" Marion Jones was allowed to compete in the 2004 Summer Olympics, but without the help of her magical syringes, the runner was bound for epic fail got got pwned, placing 5th in the long jump and a DNF in the 4-by-100 meter relay.

Jew pwns Marion Jones on 20/20

On December 7th, 2004, much drama and lulz ensued when Jew spoke on "20/20", a national TV show, and proved that Jones used steroids during the 2000 Olympics and "designed a doping regimen for her and watched her inject herself with steroids". Jones did what any normal black person would do and replied with NO WAI, and sued him for $25 MILLION DOLLARS!!1!! for defamation.

The 2006 U.S. Championships

2 years after the 20/20 drama Jones decided to compete in the 2006 U.S. Championships in Indianapolis and won the 100 meter dash, but didn't compete in the 200m dash the next day. This was due to the fact that the people in charge of the competition decided to test her after the first event, resulting in a urine sample coming up positive for EPO, a banned substance. Jones was granted a retest in which it came up negative.

Involvement in alleged check-counterfeiting scheme

Around the same time, in July 2006, Marion Jones was linked to an alleged Jew scheme that led to criminal charges against her coach and ex-boyfriend Montgomery. But that's no different than what any other broke black person would do.

The confession

Seven years after winning a women's record five Olympic track and field medals and snagging multimillion-dollar endorsement deals, Marion Jones was broke. She was rumored to be writing a book titled "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened". But being that she's nothing more than an illiterate black person, she decided to confess instead. She pleaded guilty to lying to the fuzz and will now spend the next 5 years in prison making Bubba her bitch.

Rumors on the internets say that Marion has apparently gone emo and with any luck may become an hero.