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Conservatism: Difference between revisions

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]]seitinummoC JL:yrogetaC[[
[[Image:Lynchigger.jpg|A typical gathering of like-minded conservatives.|thumb|right]]
[[File:Conservative vs liberal.png|Conservatives vs [[Liberal]] wanks|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Conservativeark01.jpg|thumb|Come the End Times, conservatives will have the last laugh.]]
[[Image:Republican.jpg|thumb|Another conservative [[basement dweller]].]]
[[File:Hay_guys_furry.jpg‎|thumb|right|Life in a gated community.]]
[[Image:Fiscal conservatives.jpg|thumb|Fiscal Conservatism has done [[fail|wonders]] to the economy.]]
[[Image:constipatedconservative.jpg|thumb|right|Constipated conservative douchebag.]]


}}]]OGNOM[[|]]msitavresnoC[[|]]tenretnihO[[| 32 lirpA oaN eht fo elcitrA|enilemiT{{
}}scitiloP{{
}}seiresjL{{
}}hturt{{


.si ]]msilaicoS[[ tahw aedi on evah yeht woh etoN .]koobecaF no puorg evitavresnoc lacipyt a si sihT |fn=fer?073325585217111/NEMA-AMABO-KCARAB-SI-TNEDISERP-ETIROVAF-YM-WONK-UOY-TEL-OT-DETNAW-TSUJ-I-NOSKCAJ-LEAHCIM-REGNIS-ETIROVAF-YM-KOOT-UOY-TTECWAF-HARAF-SSERTCA-ETIROVAF-YM-KOOT-UOY-EIZYAWS-KCIRTAP-ROTCA-ETIROVAF-YM-KOOT-UOY-RAEY-SIHT-DROL-RAED/segap/moc.koobecaf.www//:ptth[ *
== skniL lanretxE ==


]]ztrawhcS naI[[ *
'''Conservatism''' is the political ideology that states that everything your dad did was right, except that he should have beat you harder. The conservative right sees the world as the parking lot for [[church]], where they go to thank [[God]] that he did not make them [[Muslims|terrorists]].  Conservatives often terrorize the world with chain emails about their lord and savior [[Jesus]], so this is ironic, but it is well known that conservatives don't understand irony.  Conservatives take reality into account during the short timespan between leaving their driveways and going to the mall / dropping the kids off at football practice, during which a slew of [[bible]] passages and repressive emotional responses hard-coded into them since childhood shields them from any information that would conflict with their worldview. To them, any change at all is a threat to their existence inside a model home with a cookie-cutter lawn and a white picket fence, the "Ideal Patriotic Life" / "American Dream" sentimentalism consequent of a corporate [[social experiment]] designed to facilitate mass consumerism.  (At least, as much mass consumerism as a nation of 99% starving serfs can muster)
]]etaretillI[[ *
]]drateR[[ *
]]yranoitciD s'liveD s'naD[[ *
]]kcendeR[[ *
]]SSNSB|ssenisuB[[ ]]SYLSRS|ylsrS[[ *
]]yenoM[[ *
]]noigileR[[ *
]]ecnenitsbA[[ *
]]aidepavresnoC[[ *
]]yroT[[ *
]]nacilbupeR[[ *
== oslA eeS ==


.)eromyna slarebil lla t'nera yeht( ]]sweJ[[ *
Strictly speaking, no conservatives exist, as everybody wants to change ''something''. A more plausible summary of the goal of conservatives is to undo the fear that entered their lives after learning to masturbate. That normally means going backwards in time to something like the 1950's, where the [[Internet]] didn't exist and liberalism was dead because everyone equated liberals with dirty commies. [[At least 100|At least 100%]] of the time Conservatives are Fundie [[christfags|Christians]], although the white power types prefer [http://www.nizkor.org/hweb/orgs/american/christian-identity/religion-white-racists.html Arnold Murray and the Christian Identity movement]. Some of the [[moar]] [[Nazi]] ones even try to reclaim Norse religions.Conservatives are not actually conservatives at all, because everyone knows large corporations love [[Mexicans|cheap labour]].
==eeS ==


]]yemrE eeL .R[[*
Conservatives are known for lower taxes, spending more, killing niggers, being [[creationism|staunch supporters of science]], loving guns, and hating gays (despite being gay [[Larry Craig|themselves]]). They also hate [[sex]], love teh sweet buttsecks and are against killing the unborn but love killing the already born. They also love [[George W. Bush]] and [[redneck|Larry the Cable Guy]]. [[some argue|Many believe]] that Conservatism will save America. These people are usually rich, white, assholes who have no idea what (or even where) America is.
appiM *
]]sirroN kcuhC[[ *
s]]elihpregnaR[[ *
]]elzziR-J aka aluA nosaJ|aluA nosaJ[[ *
]]uhcereW[[ *
!sevitavresnoc era ]]SEIRRUF|yrruf[[ nevE - ]sevitavRUFnoC moc.lanruojevil.sevitavrufnoc//:ptth[ *
.pu dekcuf er'uoy rednow on .d00d ]]mom ruoY[[ *
]]giarC yrraL[[ *
]]nonnaG ffeJ[[ *
]]snobbiG dlanigeR .T[[ *
]]aelamA[[ *
.msivitavresnoc ot detoved etis yttihs A -]]kcabnworb4sgolb[[ *
]]W[[ *
]]smaerDdetcejeR[[ *
]]yruF-gneF-oaiX[[ *
]]nhoJmirgliP[[ *
]]releehWyoBD[[ *
]]3003retsaMsselecaF[[ *
]]doG[[ *
]]yresimkitehtnyS[[ *
]]reklatskraDnoD[[ *
]]niklaM ellehciM[[ *
]]xirtirehnI[[ *
]]oparC ekiM[[ *
]]retluoC nnA[[ *
]]nameloC mroN[[ *
]]stoidI[[ *
]]kcoR diK[[ *
]]nahC-sirhC[[ *
]]skcendeR[[ *
]]knuksragiC[[ *
]]egaggablarutluC[[ *
]]steehS nahtaN[[ *
]]asu4airotciV[[ *
]]llaH niaI[[ *
]]ylfalhcS werdnA[[ *
]]llennoD'O enitsirhC[[ *
]]niaCcM nhoJ[[ *
]]nilaP haraS[[ *
]]rehtoM denrecnoC[[ ynA *


]].slauxesomoh gnimoceb otni dellort)-nocdnim( gnieb fo diarfa ylhtaed era sevitavresnoC|bmuht|gpj.yaggninrutfodiarfasevitavresnoC:eliF[[
==Kool-Aid==


]].sevitavresnoC ]]naitsirhC[[ llort ot esU|bmuht|gpj.naroK abuJ ffutaL:egamI[[
The official seal of the [[Republican]] party and conservatives in general is the [[Kool-Aid]] man. The reference originates from the Jonestown Massacre, where a Christfag named Jim Jones led sum nigras to cross the Nile into Guyana where they slurped Grape Kool-Aid all day like nigras always do. It's comparable to the way conservatives down [[W|George Bush's]] [[bullshit]] where he claimed conquering the nation of [[Iraq]], would somehow protect the US from Iraq's intercontinental ballistic nuclear missiles that, Saddam's own top generals knew existed. Saddam himself eventually admitted that the WMDS WERE A LIE to scare off Iran, but he didn't think that America would invade. Oops.
]].tseb seod ehs tahw gniod ppuC ES namow sevitavresnoC|bmuht|gpj.ppucES:eliF[[
== sdratavresnoC fo tsiL ==
}}.em no thgil ruoy lla enihs sevitavresnoc ho ,em no thgil ruoy lla enihs sevitavresnoC


.sdik etamitigelli laicarib gnivah dna era selytsefil ruo yaw eht gninaomeB
==Conservative porn==


.d]]ecrovid[[ 'nitteg dna seulav lanoitidart tuoba gniklat ,stsiyhtraCcM lacitircopyH
[[Image:Powerpuffgirls34.jpg|thumb|right|A conservative family]]


.]]nrop yag[[ ot ffo krej annaw uoy sekam taht gniht fo tros eht s'tI
It is well known that conservatives are publicly against all bodily fluid contact, skin to skin contact, or any other [[List of sex moves|fun naked stuff]], save for procreation. Privately they tend to be more [[Pedophiles|deviant]] than liberals. They also get off listening to balding, [[fat]] blowhards on AM talk radio. The ultimate in Conservative porn is hearing the latest [[Rush Limbaugh]] wannabe go off about immigration, banning gay marriage or threatening to shoot the homeless into space. If you want to hear some of this auditory porn, try just about any AM radio station below the Mason-Dixon line in the United States.
[[Fox News]] will also do in a pinch for a quick splooge in the living room.


.nrob reven erew uoy hsiw uoy sekam gniht eht si modeerF
Here's a [http://www.cafepress.com/rightwingstuff/ conservative porn store] endorsed on a [[LiveJournal]] message board or something!!


[[File:Anime furry nazis.jpg|thumb|right|...that conservative porn is the only form of porn that doesn't turn them on. Then again, conservative porn turns no one on.]]


.em no thgil ruoy lla enihs sevitavresnoc ho ,em no thgil ruoy lla enihs sevitavresnoC
'''FACT:''' The majority of [[pedophiles]] and members of [[NAMBLA]] are republicans. GOP stands for "Gathering of Pedophiles".[http://www.armchairsubversive.org/]  Liberal do-gooders trying to impose fascistic child labor laws on the sex market are Stalinist oppressors intent on initiating force, who must be put down by suitable defensive means ranging from the humble [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1209509/posts rocket launcher] to low-yield nuclear bunker busters.


.weJ a erew uoy fi erom neve devas eb d'uoy ,]]naitsirhC[[ a er'uoy esuaceb devas er'uoY
==East Asian Conservatives==
East Asian conservatives are mostly [[80 year old Chinese man in panties]] who believe in ancient Chinese beliefs. They can usually be found strolling through their [[wapanese|cherry blossom garden]] recalling ancient Chinese proverb in the third person. Asian Conservatives often force their children through rigorous study in school. This often leads Asian teens to become [[azn]] or become [[an hero]]. As with most of the world, they are in charge here, but unlike most of the world, they've never lost power.


.esebo yldibrom tsom eht er'uoy esuaceb tsuj dlrow eht ni ]]sinep[[ tsegral eht tog ev'uoy 'niknihT
Asian Conservatives revere:


.taerg os er'uoy taht mialc ,yadnuS no hcruhc ot og uoy neht yreggub thgiarts fo snot 'nivaH
*Confucius who is confused.
.krow seulav hsart reliart ssalc elddim rewol ,sioegruob ruoy yaw eht eeS|etouq{{
*Lao-tsu or Sue Lee, a hot [[Asian girls|Asian girl]].
*[[Buddha]] or the bold guy who sits on the floor.
*[[Jackie Chan]] not the laundromat owner.
*Sun-Tzu or Sue Sun, another hot Asian chick.
*Fortune cookies (you.get.eg.lorr).
*Whoever is in charge.


.gnos a ni denialpxe eb nac tI
Not to be confused with [[Michelle Malkin]], NOT a hot chick.
== sevitavresnoc tuoba hturt ehT ==


''.rorre no raw a no era starcomeD ,]]rorret no raw|qarI[[ a no era snacilbupeR''*
==European Conservatives==
"''elpoep rieht fo diarfa eb dluohs tnemnrevog ,tnemnrevog rieht fo diarfa eb ton dluohs elpoeP''*
Europeans believe that [[Conservatism]] caused [[Hitler]] and that if they act conservative they will be more like [[Americans]].  Because of this there is no Conservatism in Europe except in [[England]], where it made all the miners go on [[strike]] and have riots at least [[100 years ago]]. And it's popular in [[Germany]] as being Conservative lets you openly practice rabid xenophobia, racism and hating [[fags]] which are all popular pastimes in Germany, as well as cornerstones of the Conservative philosophy.
).]]xesttub[[ detimilnu gnivah eunitnoc ot meht gnittimrep ,SDIA ot etoditna eht sweJ evag eh taht noitnem ot tnaw ton yam ro yam uoY( ''?]]syag|gaf[[ dna ]]elpoep kcalb[[ ]]detah|daed[[ >s/<setah>s< eh esuaceb ]]SDIA[[ detnevni ]]nagaeR dlanoR[[ taht wonk uoy diD''*
''.ylhtooms nur dluohs sgniht dnabsuh s']]namow taht|yksniweL acinoM[[ htiw snoitaler lauxes evah t'nseod ehs sa gnol sa ,tnediserP tnellecxe na ekam dluow ]]notnilC yralliH[[ kniht I''*
''.roirepus ylsuoivbo si ]]adanaC[[ ,ees uoY''*
:stolp enodrevo rehtO
!ti htiw sevlesmeht kcirt neve nac yehT .ti fo gnah eht teg uoy ecno ysae si tub ,detacilpmoc sdnuos tI .sweN XOF dna ,slauxesomoh tesolc tsilanoitasnes ,sgah rettib yb dehsilpmocca eb nac sihT .7/42 egde no meht peek ot si gniht tnatropmi enO .)euqinhcet ]]citamard|amard[[ hguorht eslaf ton si ti woh ezisahpme syawla dluohs uoy hguoht( ytiruces fo esnes eslaf a rof modeerf ruoy pu evig ot doog s'ti taht dna ,tneconni nevorp litnu ytliug era elpoep fi doog s'ti meht gnicnivnoc ekil sgniht ro ,tuoba gniklat er'uoy tahw tuoba tihs a evig uoy gnikniht otni meht esufnoc ylisae nac uoy ,seuqinhcet elpmis eseht gnisU


.]]suseJ[[ evol uoy hcum woh yas ot evah osla yam uoY .uoy eveileb ll'yeht ,]]naitsirhC[[ a er'uoy yas uoy fi tub ,eurt eb ot evah ton seod sihT
==Black conservatives==
THEY DO EXIST.


ecno ta lla neve rO**
OH RLY?
sweJ gnisicitirC*
noitroba na gnitteG*
egairram erofeb xes gnivaH*
nrop ta gnikooL*
xes yag gnivaH*
etabed lanoitar a evah ot gnitpmettA*
noigiler gniwaltuO*
egaugnal rehtona kaeps meht gnikaM*
]]ytinnaH naeS[[ yb nettirw ton saw taht meht fo tnorf ni koob a gnidaeR*
erutluc rieht gniyortseD*
brej rieht gnikaT*
sexat yap meht gnikaM*
meht llik ot gniyrT*


:rehtie si enoemos meht llet ot era sevitavresnoc no yalp ot skcirt nuf emos ,lareneg nI
YEA! BOY! WE BE GOT NIGGAS IN DA G.O.P.


]].LRI sgafvresnoC gnillorT|thgir|bmuht|gpj.LLORT_PL_LRI:egamI[[
SAY WHAT?


.llew dellort eb ot lained hcum oot evah thgim yeht os ,nrop eiddik dna ,selbib ,oidar MA ot ffo gnikcaj emit rieht fo tsom dneps dna ,yawyna 7/42 ]]truhttub[[ yllauteprep era sevitavresnoc ecnis tnadnuder si sevitavresnoc gnillort taht deton eb dluohs tI
TAT RITE BRO.
==]]LO[[ sevitavresnoC llort ot woH==


.]]sdnomsO[[ eht dna ,]]kceB nnelG[[ dna ]]yenmoR ttiM[[ rof dekrow tI !]]nomroM[[ a eb dnA*
FO REAL.  
.ytirohtua gniyebosid rof ]]srotsetorp larebil|teertS llaW ypuccO[[ fo diarfa ylhtaed eb tey ,]]snaicitilop llik ot ro ,noitulover ,noisseces netaerhT|ytraP aeT[[*
]psa.nahsilas/ytiruceslaicos/scitilop/moc.sepons.www//:ptth[.slarebil yb detpurroc neeb sah sfeileb ruoy segnellahc taht ydobyna taht eveileB*
.yawyna evitavresnoC fo epyt a tsuj era hcihw ,]]snairatrebiL|msinairatrebiL[[ fo eurt osla si sihT .!"slarebil yb ynnaryt" ylno ,"ycarcomed evitatneserper" a ot srefer reven ycarcomed esuaceB ."ycarcomed" a setatS detinU eht llac enoemos raeh yeht emityna stnar LD;LT otni oG*
!NUD R TIG !NEMA !OGNOBO !POG !DROL EHT ESIARP !HAJULELLAH .seugnot ni kaepS*
.era kcoc rof esiurc ot smoortser cilbup tseb eht erehw fo egdelwonK*
.sevitavresnoC fo selpmaxe taerg era ohw ,stseirp cilohtaC fo seciv lacipyt rehto dna ,]]ailihpodep[[ ,]]msilohocla[[ ,]]ytinaitsirhC[[ ot gnitroser yllausu ,niarb ruoy esu ot evah uoy tnemom yna ta sisirc ytitnedi na evaH*
."msinummoc" ro "msilaicos" fo noitinifed eht wonk toN**
.gnihtyna no snoinipo s'nosrep rehto eht htiw yaw yna ni eergasid ro denetaerht yllanosrep leef yeht sa noos sa 'eimmoc' ro/dna 'tsilaicos' a enoyreve dna enoyna llac ot ycnednet a evaH*
.evitatneserper detcele yletamitigel a gnieb amabO tuoba '''EMIT GIB''' hctiB**
.hceeps eerf ot sthgir rieht ezilitu slarebil ,dibrof doG ,ro emoh ta noitcele na niw starcomeD eht emit yreve nialpmoc dna hctib ,emit emas eht ta tub )ekil t'nseod tnemnrevog SU eht yrtnuoc rehto yna ro( ]]aleuzeneV[[ ro ,]]ecnarF[[ ,]]narI[[ ,]]aissuR[[ ,]]anihC[[ ni s'ti rehtehw erehwyreve desserppo-os-ho era ycarcomed dna sthgir namuh taht eveileb ot noitisopsiderp a evaH*
.ytlanep htaed eht teg ot "srotaderp" dna slanimirc xes lla rof gnillac ylsuoenatlumis elihw ]]elihpodeP|ailihpodeP[[ a eB*
)?TAWLOL( aidnI ot kcab og ot snaciremA evitaN lleT*
.evlos tonnac ]]yeht|evitavresnoc[[ seussi no ]]OFTG[[ ot srengierof slleT*
.loohcs hgih ni erew uoy nehw dratbil a erew uoy taht tcaf eht gnittegroF **
.reloohcs hgih a si ehs/eh esuaceb tsuj yltnatsnoc nosrep taht tlusni neht ,dratbil loohcs hgih a yb ]]denwo[[ fI*
'.larebil-itna' eht eb ot flesruoy gnimialcorp ro ynihw gnieb slarebil tuoba gninihw tnatsnoC*
.)pihsrebmem level-weJ rof yrassecen ylno( 'ytilaer' gnilbmeser gnihtyna morf noitalusni laicnanif gnolefiL*
.sseneros lana htiw noitcnujnoc ni yromem etaidemmi ni spaG*
.desserper retal osla era hcihw fo seiromem eht ,xes yag lautca dna ]]yrtoggaf[[ tnatalb sa flesti gnitsefinam netfo ,ytilauxesomoh desserpeR*
]].seicilop rieht fo tsom etah tub malsI evol ohw slarebil ot desoppo sa ,seicilop rieht fo tsom gnitroppus elihw malsI etaH|ynorI[[*
.)smelsoM .pse & snaisA ,syag ,snacixeM ,skcalb( elpoep deroloc eht raef dna ,scitcat raef ot ni yuB*
.htiw eerga uoy taht sgniht yas ria no sevitavresnoc debircsed-fles eht esuaceb tsuj decnalab dna riaf si ti eveileb ylerecnis dna ]]sweN d'xiF|sweN xoF[[ hctaW*
.>s/<0>s<01 naht ssel fo QI na ylbareferp ,ssabmud elbillug etelpmoc a eB*
.dlrow eht ni yrtnuoc tseb eht tub gnihtyna si SU eht taht seilpmi ro ;ralucitrap ni hsuB .]]W[[ egroeG dna nagaeR dlanoR ,lareneg ni snacilbupeR ,]]ycaredefnoC[[ ,"sretats-der" ,]]sweJ[[ ,]]elpoep etihW[[ ,]]learsI[[ ,sweJ ,snaitsirhC ,ecilop ,yratilim SU eht tuoba dab gnihtyna syas enoyna fi ]]truhttub[[ gnitteg elihw "ssentcerroc lacitilop" ni reveilebsid a flesruoy eralced ot ytiliba ehT*
.gnikniht lacitirc fo kcal rieht yb dezingocer ylisae eb nac sevitavresnoC  .reduol lley tsuj ,tuo detniop si siht nehW  .msinummoc ot desoppo saw ytrap izan eht taht gnizilaer tuohtiw tsinummoc izan a amabO llaC*
.uoy retfa emac yratilim eht fi uoy pleh dluow elipkcots citehtap ruoy taht gniveileb osla elihw ,gnorw on od nac eveileb dna pihsrow ylsuoenatlumis uoy taht snoitutitsni wal dna ,yratilim ,tnemnrevog eht morf uoy "tcetorp" ot snugtohs dna slotsip ,selfir fo elipkcots nwO*
.meht fo lla gnikaerb htiw yawa teg slarebil woH :sunoB **
.soobat dna swal ,selur ,scihte ,slarom tuoba klat oslA*
.]]noitasrevnoc yreve|xirtirehnI[[ otni ecrovid tluaf-on dna egairram yaG ,noitrobA krow ot ytiliba ehT*
.noitasrevnoc yreve otni erooM leahciM ro/dna isoleP ycnaN ,dieR yrraH ,amabO kcaraB ,notnilC yraliH krow ot ytiliba ehT*
.ticifed eht esaercni taht stuc xat htiw enif gnieb elihw ticifed tnemnrevog tuoba yltnatsnoc enihW*
.yenom xat lla fo flah revo sesu hcihw yratilim eht troppus yllanoitidnocnu tey ,live si gnidneps dna gnixaT*
.)sevitucexe rof ylppa t'nseod ti( krow drah ni eveileB*
.emag llabesab a ta deyalp si mehtnA lanoitaN eht emit yreve gaf a ekil gniyrc ylsuoenatlumis elihw lanoitome oot gnieb fo sdratbil esuccA*
.syob egarednu ot noitcartta gnorts a evaH*
.live s'tI ?]]noitabrutsaM[[ .tnangerp teg ot ton yaw ylno eht si ecnenitsba taht eveileB*
.detserra teg dluohs nrop ta skool taht ydobyreve taht eveileB*
.srehpargotohp >s/<srehpargonrop>s< fo stserra eht ot etabrutsam tey modeerf gnidnefed tuoba no dna no oG*
!]]llird ,ybab llirD|remmah1syug3[[ .elahs morf lio tcartxe ot elbissop ton s'ti taht noisulcnoc eht hcaer ot stnarg hcraeser ni srallod fo snoillim tneps sah esrevinU eht ni ynapmoc lio dna tnemnrevog elgnis yreve hguoht neve - aksalA ni sdleif lio elahs emos yb devres ylpma eb lliw ycnedneped lio s'aciremA taht eveileB*
  .swal nugdnah fo tros yna esoppo tub elpoep gnitoohs syawla er'yeht esuaceb sreggin etaH*
.ti edih ot nigeb tub ]]ytilauxesomoh|yrtoggaf[[ rieht niater sevitavresnoc yhw snialpxe sihT  .]]lauxesomoh|gaf[[ gnuoy a erew uoy nehw larebil a erew uoy taht ezilaer ot tegrof uoy ,teY .efil ta ]]liaf[[ yeht woh dna esrevinu eritne eht lortnoc slarebil eveileb uoy woh no ]]stnar gnol|RD;LT[[ ekaM*
  .yawyna ti no trepxe na eb ot mialc tub ,elbib eht daer reveN*
.esproc s']]nagaeR dlanoR[[ dna ]]sweJ[[ ot noitcartta lauxes lanoitarri na evaH*
.yrtnuoc eht fo redael eht saw ]]W[[ sraey eht tuoba aisenma evah yltneinevnoC*
.tnaw slarebil eht tahw tsuj s'tahT  .egelloc etaudarg t'noD*
.dooh-]]dratfel[[ s'retsop eht gniylpmi yleugav yroeht yna fo noitatufer nori-tsac a si ,reve ,aidem lla fo saib ]]larebil[[ a ni feileb eht taht feileb A*
.noitan eht evas nac ]]snacilbupeR|nacilbupeR[[ ylno taht eveileB*
.lleh ot sdael nuF  .gnivah si enoyna nuf fo dnik yna esoppO*
.og uoy erehwyreve snug ro/dna sepirts dna srats eht ,selgae evaeL*


]]]/ude.ellivradec.www//:ptth[.elohyrolg supmac eht fo ezis eht yb si egelloc a evitavresnoc woh llet syawla nac uoY|thgir|bmuht|GPJ.elohyrolgellivradeC:egamI[[
FO SHIZZLE.
]].live etamitlu eht si xes eveileb sevitavresnoC|thgir|bmuht|gpj.stnerapnocoeN:egamI[[
]].draebkcen eht etoN .evitavresnoc lacipyt A|thgir|bmuht|gpj.poG:egamI[[


>retnec/<.]]gnitoohs eht ni dellik erew sesutef on doG knahT|tsol saw eulav fo gnihton dnA[[>retnec<
HHMM MMMM. HAL RITE.
>retnec/<>ebutuoy/<sys2R8sMvTU>ebutuoy<>retnec<
>retnec/<]knil gnitoohs_hcruhc_tsilasrevinU_nairatinU_ellivxonK/ikiw/gro.aidepikiw.ne//:ptth[ '''"hcruhc" nairatinu a denwp eh woh tuoba sklat oreh evitavresnoC'''>retnec<
==pihsrebmeM rof snoitacifilauQ==


>ebutuoy/<IfovYJAdvpx>ebutuoy<
YO! OUR PEOPLE GOT IT GOIN ON.
]] ]FOORP gnitoohs_hcruhc_tsilasrevinU_nairatinU_ellivxonK/ikiw/gro.aidepikiw.ne//:ptth[ .uoy ]]llik|redrum[[ ot tnaw sevitavresnoC|bmuht|gpj.srelliklairesevitavresnoC:eliF[[
Examples: Larry Elder, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Alan Keyes, Allen West and Michael Steele. Don't forget Bill Cosby is telling the fellow negroes "Shame on you" and tells the coloreds to "get a job".
==dnalsuseJ fo mehtnA lanoitaN==


>ebutuoy/<MVi-7eOL9xM>ebutuoy<
[[Herman Cain]] - No wonder he couldn't stay in the GOP Presidential Primary race.
''' tnemugra ]]ebuTuoY[[ evitavresnoC lacipyT'''


)]]depar tsomla[[ osla ees( .stsop 000,1 revo detareneg hcihw )]]eil[[ a yllautca( yrots ]dekcajih tsomlA stsop/5581711/swen-f/sucof/moc.cilbupereerf.www//:ptth[ nA*
== Hispanic conservatives ==
.]yracs era sanigaV psa.710151205002zepol/zepol/moc.weiverlanoitan.www//:ptth[ yhw no elcitra dellif-rorret A*
Learning from the Democrats' successful mass voter registration campaigns in the last 50 years, starting with Cat-o-Mick (Al-co-ho-lic) John F. Kennedy's "Viva Kennedy" campaign that FAILED to register the [[Cuban]] refugees in south Florida, the Hispanic voters in the 2000 and 2004 elections were attracted to George "Don Luis el Tejano" Bush in the racist anti-communist party. [[Mexicans]] love to work, but sure can be lazy on election day, and are usually protesting "Viva La Raza," "Si se puede," or whatever the beaners are saying in Spanish about illegal immigration. The Conservative work ethic, devoted religious lifestyle, and humongous families (no abortion, no divorce & no feminism) is the ultimate recipe for success for the GOP to gain Hispanic voters. <s>However, [[last thursday]] the state of Arizona made sure that hispanics will now all vote Democrat for the next 500 years. Another brilliant strategy by conservatives.</s> The dumbfuck who wrote that can't tell the difference between Hispanics and Spanish-speaking Injuns who are only "Hispanic" during election season.
]]RD;LT[[ ,]?sexat yap suseJ dluow woH 775011=muNtrA?igc.tradaer/nib-igc/gro.tsopytrebil//:ptth[ htiw waL airahS fo stcepsa renif eht erolpxe yeht ereH*


>ebutuoy/<wskrMCTW0is>ebutuoy<
=="Alternative" media==
]].]]sretabed tnaillirb|gninosaer suoicallaf[[ hcus ekam sevitavresnoC|bmuht|gpj.dratavresnocbmuD:egamI[[
*[[FOX News]] TV channel: 24/7 of "unfair, imbalanced and one-sided" GW.Owned.Propaganda.
.]]msinaciremA-itna[[ ro "kniht stsitfel tahw" yllanoisacco dna erooM leahciM tuoba esnesnon htiw denrecnoc erom yllareneg tub ,scitilop gniw-thgir fo noissucsid ot detacided yllaciteroeht ]]ytinummoC[[ ]]lanruoJeviL[[ a osla si }}msitavresnoc|jl{{
*Talk radio blasting the AM airwaves with unlimited hate speech.
*THE INTRNTZ. Common conservative mumbojumbo bullshit states that information gathered on the intraweb must be true enough to mention [[Rush_Limbaugh|with huge whale-stopping mouths]] to wide audiences. This is also how all sides of [[politics|evil]] gathers poll research that they think might sway people outside of [[encyclopedia_dramatica|real facts]].
*National Review magazine, there are no African nudes on the photo spread (see [[Playboy|Playboy]], [[Penthouse|Penthouse]], or Hustler, all are neo-cons' mortal enemies).
*Christian music: country-western-folk-pop-rock-hip-hop centralized around the Jesus they simultaneously preach in [[IRL|public life]] and ignore otherwise.
*[[Youtube|Jewtube]], check out Ray Stevens (sorry no David Allan Coe).


]].]]ydemoc|ynnufnu[[ sa redisnoc sevitavresnoc tahw si sihT|thgir|bmuht|GPJ.moCnoCynnufnU:egamI[[
==Conservatism (community)==


]]evitavresnoc lacipyt A|thgir|bmuht|gpj.namdlodeillebkroP:egamI[[
[[Image:Porkbelliedoldman.jpg|thumb|right|A typical conservative]]


==)ytinummoc( msitavresnoC==
[[Image:UnfunnyConCom.JPG|thumb|right|This is what conservatives consider as [[unfunny|comedy]].]]


.)eoC nallA divaD on yrros( snevetS yaR tuo kcehc ,]]ebutweJ|ebutuoY[[*
{{lj|conservatism}} is also a [[LiveJournal]] [[Community]] theoretically dedicated to discussion of right-wing politics, but generally more concerned with nonsense about Michael Moore and occasionally "what leftists think" or [[anti-Americanism]].
.esiwrehto erongi dna ]]efil cilbup|LRI[[ ni hcaerp ylsuoenatlumis yeht suseJ eht dnuora dezilartnec poh-pih-kcor-pop-klof-nretsew-yrtnuoc :cisum naitsirhC*
[[Image:Dumbconservatard.jpg|thumb|Conservatives make such [[fallacious reasoning|brilliant debaters]].]]
.)seimene latrom 'snoc-oen era lla ,reltsuH ro ,]]esuohtneP|esuohtneP[[ ,]]yobyalP|yobyalP[[ ees( daerps otohp eht no sedun nacirfA on era ereht ,enizagam weiveR lanoitaN*
<youtube>si0WTCMrksw</youtube>
.]]stcaf laer|acitamard_aidepolcycne[[ fo edistuo elpoep yaws thgim kniht yeht taht hcraeser llop srehtag ]]live|scitilop[[ fo sedis lla woh osla si sihT .secneidua ediw ot ]]shtuom gnippots-elahw eguh htiw|hguabmiL_hsuR[[ noitnem ot hguone eurt eb tsum bewartni eht no derehtag noitamrofni taht setats tihsllub obmujobmum evitavresnoc nommoC .ZTNRTNI EHT*
.hceeps etah detimilnu htiw sevawria MA eht gnitsalb oidar klaT*
.adnagaporP.denwO.WG "dedis-eno dna decnalabmi ,riafnu" fo 7/42 :lennahc VT ]]sweN XOF[[*
==aidem "evitanretlA"==


.nosaes noitcele gnirud "cinapsiH" ylno era ohw snujnI gnikaeps-hsinapS dna scinapsiH neewteb ecnereffid eht llet t'nac taht etorw ohw kcufbmud ehT >s/<.sevitavresnoc yb ygetarts tnaillirb rehtonA .sraey 005 txen eht rof tarcomeD etov lla won lliw scinapsih taht erus edam anozirA fo etats eht ]]yadsruht tsal[[ ,revewoH>s< .sretov cinapsiH niag ot POG eht rof sseccus rof epicer etamitlu eht si )msinimef on & ecrovid on ,noitroba on( seilimaf suognomuh dna ,elytsefil suoigiler detoved ,cihte krow evitavresnoC ehT .noitargimmi lagelli tuoba hsinapS ni gniyas era srenaeb eht revetahw ro ",edeup es iS" ",azaR aL aviV" gnitsetorp yllausu era dna ,yad noitcele no yzal eb nac erus tub ,krow ot evol ]]snacixeM[[ .ytrap tsinummoc-itna tsicar eht ni hsuB "onajeT le siuL noD" egroeG ot detcartta erew snoitcele 4002 dna 0002 eht ni sretov cinapsiH eht ,adirolF htuos ni seegufer ]]nabuC[[ eht retsiger ot DELIAF taht ngiapmac "ydenneK aviV" s'ydenneK .F nhoJ )cil-oh-oc-lA( kciM-o-taC htiw gnitrats ,sraey 05 tsal eht ni sngiapmac noitartsiger retov ssam lufsseccus 'starcomeD eht morf gninraeL
*Here they explore the finer aspects of Sharia Law with [http://libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=110577 How would Jesus pay taxes?], [[TL;DR]]
== sevitavresnoc cinapsiH ==
*A terror-filled article on why [http://www.nationalreview.com/lopez/lopez200502151017.asp Vaginas are scary].
*An [http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1171855/posts Almost hijacked] story (actually a [[lie]]) which generated over 1,000 posts. (see also [[almost raped]])


.ecar yramirP laitnediserP POG eht ni yats t'ndluoc eh rednow oN - ]]niaC namreH[[
'''Typical Conservative [[YouTube]] argument '''
<youtube>Mx9LOe7-iVM</youtube>


."boj a teg" ot sderoloc eht sllet dna "uoy no emahS" seorgen wollef eht gnillet si ybsoC lliB tegrof t'noD .eleetS leahciM dna tseW nellA ,seyeK nalA ,eciR azzeelodnoC ,llewoP niloC ,redlE yrraL :selpmaxE
==National Anthem of Jesusland==
.NO NIOG TI TOG ELPOEP RUO !OY
[[File:Conservativeserialkillers.jpg|thumb|Conservatives want to [[murder|kill]] you. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knoxville_Unitarian_Universalist_church_shooting PROOF] ]]
<youtube>xpvdAJYvofI</youtube>


.ETIR LAH .MMMM MMHH
==Qualifications for Membership==
<center>'''Conservative hero talks about how he pwned a unitarian "church"''' [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knoxville_Unitarian_Universalist_church_shooting link]</center>
<center><youtube>UTvMs8R2sys</youtube></center>
<center>[[And nothing of value was lost|Thank God no fetuses were killed in the shooting]].</center>


.ELZZIHS OF
[[Image:Gop.jpg|thumb|right|A typical conservative. Note the neckbeard.]]
[[Image:Neoconparents.jpg|thumb|right|Conservatives believe sex is the ultimate evil.]]
[[Image:Cedarvillegloryhole.JPG|thumb|right|You can always tell how conservative a college is by the size of the campus gloryhole.[http://www.cedarville.edu/]]]


  .LAER OF
*Leave eagles, the stars and stripes and/or guns everywhere you go.
*Oppose any kind of fun anyone is having.  Fun leads to hell.
*Believe that only [[Republican|Republicans]] can save the nation.
*A belief that the belief in a [[liberal]] bias of all media, ever, is a cast-iron refutation of any theory vaguely implying the poster's [[leftard]]-hood.
*Don't graduate college.  That's just what the liberals want.
*Conveniently have amnesia about the years [[W]] was the leader of the country.
*Have an irrational sexual attraction to [[Jews]] and [[Ronald Reagan]]'s corpse.
*Never read the bible, but claim to be an expert on it anyway. 
*Make [[TL;DR|long rants]] on how you believe liberals control the entire universe and how they [[fail]] at life. Yet, you forget to realize that you were a liberal when you were a young [[fag|homosexual]].  This explains why conservatives retain their [[faggotry|homosexuality]] but begin to hide it.
*Hate niggers because they're always shooting people but oppose any sort of handgun laws. 
*Believe that America's oil dependency will be amply served by some shale oil fields in Alaska - even though every single government and oil company in the Universe has spent millions of dollars in research grants to reach the conclusion that it's not possible to extract oil from shale. [[3guys1hammer|Drill baby, drill]]!
*Go on and on about defending freedom yet masturbate to the arrests of <s>pornographers</s> photographers.
*Believe that everybody that looks at porn should get arrested.
*Believe that abstinence is the only way not to get pregnant. [[Masturbation]]? It's evil.
*Have a strong attraction to underage boys.
*Accuse libtards of being too emotional while simultaneously crying like a fag every time the National Anthem is played at a baseball game.
*Believe in hard work (it doesn't apply for executives).
*Taxing and spending is evil, yet unconditionally support the military which uses over half of all tax money.
*Whine constantly about government deficit while being fine with tax cuts that increase the deficit.
*The ability to work Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and/or Michael Moore into every conversation.
*The ability to work Abortion, Gay marriage and no-fault divorce into [[Inheritrix|every conversation]].
*Also talk about morals, ethics, rules, laws and taboos.
** Bonus: How liberals get away with breaking all of them.
*Own stockpile of rifles, pistols and shotguns to "protect" you from the government, military, and law institutions that you simultaneously worship and believe can do no wrong, while also believing that your pathetic stockpile would help you if the military came after you.
*Call Obama a nazi communist without realizing that the nazi party was opposed to communism. When this is pointed out, just yell louder.  Conservatives can be easily recognized by their lack of critical thinking.
*The ability to declare yourself a disbeliever in "political correctness" while getting [[butthurt]] if anyone says anything bad about the US military, police, Christians, Jews, [[Israel]], [[White people]], [[Jews]], "red-staters", [[Confederacy]], Republicans in general, Ronald Reagan and George [[W]]. Bush in particular; or implies that the US is anything but the best country in the world.
*Be a complete gullible dumbass, preferably an IQ of less than 10<s>0</s>.
*Watch [[Fox News|Fix'd News]] and sincerely believe it is fair and balanced just because the self-described conservatives on air say things that you agree with.
*Buy in to fear tactics, and fear the colored people (blacks, Mexicans, gays, Asians & esp. Moslems).
*[[Irony|Hate Islam while supporting most of their policies, as opposed to liberals who love Islam but hate most of their policies.]]
*Repressed homosexuality, often manifesting itself as blatant [[faggotry]] and actual gay sex, the memories of which are also later repressed.
*Gaps in immediate memory in conjunction with anal soreness.
*Lifelong financial insulation from anything resembling 'reality' (only necessary for Jew-level membership).
*Constant whining about liberals being whiny or proclaiming yourself to be the 'anti-liberal.'
*If [[owned]] by a high school libtard, then insult that person constantly just because he/she is a high schooler.
** Forgetting the fact that you were a libtard when you were in high school.
*Tells foreigners to [[GTFO]] on issues [[conservative|they]] cannot solve.
*Tell Native Americans to go back to India (LOLWAT?)
*Be a [[Pedophilia|Pedophile]] while simultaneously calling for all sex criminals and "predators" to get the death penalty.
*Have a predisposition to believe that human rights and democracy are oh-so-oppressed everywhere whether it's in [[China]], [[Russia]], [[Iran]], [[France]], or [[Venezuela]] (or any other country the US government doesn't like) but at the same time, bitch and complain every time the Democrats win an election at home or, God forbid, liberals utilize their rights to free speech.
**Bitch '''BIG TIME''' about Obama being a legitimately elected representative.
*Have a tendency to call anyone and everyone a 'socialist' and/or 'commie' as soon as they feel personally threatened or disagree in any way with the other person's opinions on anything.
**Not know the definition of "socialism" or "communism".
*Have an identity crisis at any moment you have to use your brain, usually resorting to [[Christianity]], [[alcoholism]], [[pedophilia]], and other typical vices of Catholic priests, who are great examples of Conservatives.
*Knowledge of where the best public restrooms to cruise for cock are.
*Speak in tongues. HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE LORD! GOP! OBONGO! AMEN! GIT R DUN!
*Go into TL;DL rants anytime they hear someone call the United States a "democracy". Because democracy never refers to a "representative democracy", only "tyranny by liberals"!. This is also true of [[Libertarianism|Libertarians]], which are just a type of Conservative anyway.
*Believe that anybody that challenges your beliefs has been corrupted by liberals.[http://www.snopes.com/politics/socialsecurity/salishan.asp]
*[[Tea Party|Threaten secession, revolution, or to kill politicians]], yet be deathly afraid of [[Occupy Wall Street|liberal protestors]] for disobeying authority.
*And be a [[Mormon]]! It worked for [[Mitt Romney]] and [[Glenn Beck]], and the [[Osmonds]].


.ORB ETIR TAT
==How to troll Conservatives [[OL]]==
It should be noted that trolling conservatives is redundant since conservatives are perpetually [[butthurt]] 24/7 anyway, and spend most of their time jacking off to AM radio, bibles, and kiddie porn, so they might have too much denial to be trolled well.


?TAHW YAS
[[Image:IRL_LP_TROLL.jpg|thumb|right|Trolling Conservfags IRL.]]


.P.O.G AD NI SAGGIN TOG EB EW !YOB !AEY
In general, some fun tricks to play on conservatives are to tell them someone is either:


?YLR HO
*Trying to kill them
*Making them pay taxes
*Taking their jerb
*Destroying their culture
*Reading a book in front of them that was not written by [[Sean Hannity]]
*Making them speak another language
*Outlawing religion
*Attempting to have a rational debate
*Having gay sex
*Looking at porn
*Having sex before marriage
*Getting an abortion
*Criticising Jews
**Or even all at once


.TSIXE OD YEHT
This does not have to be true, but if you say you're a [[Christian]], they'll believe you. You may also have to say how much you love [[Jesus]].  
==sevitavresnoc kcalB==


.yhposolihp evitavresnoC eht fo senotsrenroc sa llew sa ,ynamreG ni semitsap ralupop lla era hcihw ]]sgaf[[ gnitah dna msicar ,aibohponex dibar ecitcarp ylnepo uoy stel evitavresnoC gnieb sa ]]ynamreG[[ ni ralupop s'ti dnA .]]oga sraey 001[[ tsael ta stoir evah dna ]]ekirts[[ no og srenim eht lla edam ti erehw ,]]dnalgnE[[ ni tpecxe eporuE ni msitavresnoC on si ereht siht fo esuaceB  .]]snaciremA[[ ekil erom eb lliw yeht evitavresnoc tca yeht fi taht dna ]]reltiH[[ desuac ]]msitavresnoC[[ taht eveileb snaeporuE
Using these simple techniques, you can easily confuse them into thinking you give a shit about what you're talking about, or things like convincing them it's good if people are guilty until proven innocent, and that it's good to give up your freedom for a false sense of security (though you should always emphasize how it is not false through [[drama|dramatic]] technique). One important thing is to keep them on edge 24/7. This can be accomplished by bitter hags, sensationalist closet homosexuals, and FOX News. It sounds complicated, but is easy once you get the hang of it. They can even trick themselves with it!
==sevitavresnoC naeporuE==
Other overdone plots:
*''You see, [[Canada]] is obviously superior.''
*''I think [[Hillary Clinton]] would make an excellent President, as long as she doesn't have sexual relations with [[Monica Lewinsky|that woman]]'s husband things should run smoothly.''
*''Did you know that [[Ronald Reagan]] invented [[AIDS]] because he <s>hates</s> [[dead|hated]] [[black people]] and [[fag|gays]]?'' (You may or may not want to mention that he gave Jews the antidote to AIDS, permitting them to continue having unlimited [[buttsex]].)
*''People should not be afraid of their government, government should be afraid of their people''"
*''Republicans are on a [[Iraq|war on terror]], Democrats are on a war on error.''


.kcihc toh a TON ,]]niklaM ellehciM[[ htiw desufnoc eb ot toN
== The truth about conservatives ==
It can be explained in a song.


.egrahc ni si reveohW*
{{quote|See the way your bourgeois, lower middle class trailer trash values work.
.)rrol.ge.teg.uoy( seikooc enutroF*
Havin' tons of straight buggery then you go to church on Sunday, claim that you're so great.
.kcihc naisA toh rehtona ,nuS euS ro uzT-nuS*
.renwo tamordnual eht ton ]]nahC eikcaJ[[*
.roolf eht no stis ohw yug dlob eht ro ]]ahdduB[[*
.]]lrig naisA|slrig naisA[[ toh a ,eeL euS ro ust-oaL*
.desufnoc si ohw suicufnoC*


:erever sevitavresnoC naisA
Thinkin' you've got the largest [[penis]] in the world just because you're the most morbidly obese.


.rewop tsol reven ev'yeht ,dlrow eht fo tsom ekilnu tub ,ereh egrahc ni era yeht ,dlrow eht fo tsom htiw sA .]]oreh na[[ emoceb ro ]]nza[[ emoceb ot sneet naisA sdael netfo sihT .loohcs ni yduts suorogir hguorht nerdlihc rieht ecrof netfo sevitavresnoC naisA .nosrep driht eht ni brevorp esenihC tneicna gnillacer ]]nedrag mossolb yrrehc|esenapaw[[ rieht hguorht gnillorts dnuof eb yllausu nac yehT .sfeileb esenihC tneicna ni eveileb ohw ]]seitnap ni nam esenihC dlo raey 08[[ yltsom era sevitavresnoc naisA tsaE
You're saved because you're a [[Christian]], you'd be saved even more if you were a Jew.
==sevitavresnoC naisA tsaE==


.sretsub reknub raelcun dleiy-wol ot ]rehcnual tekcor stsop/9059021/swen-f/sucof/moc.cilbupereerf.www//:ptth[ elbmuh eht morf gnignar snaem evisnefed elbatius yb nwod tup eb tsum ohw ,ecrof gnitaitini no tnetni srosserppo tsinilatS era tekram xes eht no swal robal dlihc citsicsaf esopmi ot gniyrt sredoog-od larebiL  ]/gro.evisrevbusriahcmra.www//:ptth[."selihpodeP fo gnirehtaG" rof sdnats POG .snacilbuper era ]]ALBMAN[[ fo srebmem dna ]]selihpodep[[ fo ytirojam ehT ''':TCAF'''
Conservatives shine all your light on me, oh conservatives shine all your light on me.


]].no eno on snrut nrop evitavresnoc ,niaga nehT .no meht nrut t'nseod taht nrop fo mrof ylno eht si nrop evitavresnoc taht...|thgir|bmuht|gpj.sizan yrruf eminA:eliF[[


!!gnihtemos ro draob egassem ]]lanruoJeviL[[ a no desrodne ]erots nrop evitavresnoc /ffutsgniwthgir/moc.sserpefac.www//:ptth[ a s'ereH
Freedom is the thing makes you wish you were never born.


.moor gnivil eht ni egoolps kciuq a rof hcnip a ni od osla lliw ]]sweN xoF[[
It's the sort of thing that makes you wanna jerk off to [[gay porn]].
.setatS detinU eht ni enil noxiD-nosaM eht woleb noitats oidar MA yna tuoba tsuj yrt ,nrop yrotidua siht fo emos raeh ot tnaw uoy fI .ecaps otni sselemoh eht toohs ot gninetaerht ro egairram yag gninnab ,noitargimmi tuoba ffo og ebannaw ]]hguabmiL hsuR[[ tsetal eht gniraeh si nrop evitavresnoC ni etamitlu ehT .oidar klat MA no sdrahwolb ]]taf[[ ,gnidlab ot gninetsil ffo teg osla yehT .slarebil naht ]]tnaived|selihpodeP[[ erom eb ot dnet yeht yletavirP .noitaercorp rof evas ,]]ffuts dekan nuf|sevom xes fo tsiL[[ rehto yna ro ,tcatnoc niks ot niks ,tcatnoc diulf ylidob lla tsniaga ylcilbup era sevitavresnoc taht nwonk llew si tI


]]ylimaf evitavresnoc A|thgir|bmuht|gpj.43slrigffuprewoP:egamI[[
Hypocritical McCarthyists, talking about traditional values and gettin' [[divorce]]d.


==nrop evitavresnoC==
Bemoaning the way our lifestyles are and having biracial illegitimate kids.


.spoO .edavni dluow aciremA taht kniht t'ndid eh tub ,narI ffo eracs ot EIL A EREW SDMW eht taht dettimda yllautneve flesmih maddaS .detsixe wenk slareneg pot nwo s'maddaS ,taht selissim raelcun citsillab latnenitnocretni s'qarI morf SU eht tcetorp wohemos dluow ,]]qarI[[ fo noitan eht gnireuqnoc demialc eh erehw ]]tihsllub[[ ]]s'hsuB egroeG|W[[ nwod sevitavresnoc yaw eht ot elbarapmoc s'tI .od syawla sargin ekil yad lla diA-looK eparG depruls yeht erehw anayuG otni eliN eht ssorc ot sargin mus del senoJ miJ deman gaftsirhC a erehw ,ercassaM nwotsenoJ eht morf setanigiro ecnerefer ehT .nam ]]diA-looK[[ eht si lareneg ni sevitavresnoc dna ytrap ]]nacilbupeR[[ eht fo laes laiciffo ehT
Conservatives shine all your light on me, oh conservatives shine all your light on me.}}
== List of Conservatards ==
[[File:SEcupp.jpg|thumb|Conservatives woman SE Cupp doing what she does best.]]
[[Image:Latuff Juba Koran.jpg|thumb|Use to troll [[Christian]] Conservatives.]]


==diA-looK==
[[File:Conservativesafraidofturninggay.jpg|thumb|Conservatives are deathly afraid of being (mindcon-)trolled into becoming homosexuals.]]


.si aciremA )erehw neve ro( tahw aedi on evah ohw selohssa ,etihw ,hcir yllausu era elpoep esehT .aciremA evas lliw msitavresnoC taht ]]eveileb ynaM|eugra emos[[ .]]yuG elbaC eht yrraL|kcender[[ dna ]]hsuB .W egroeG[[ evol osla yehT .nrob ydaerla eht gnillik evol tub nrobnu eht gnillik tsniaga era dna skcesttub teews het evol ,]]xes[[ etah osla yehT .)]]sevlesmeht|giarC yrraL[[ yag gnieb etipsed( syag gnitah dna ,snug gnivol ,]]ecneics fo sretroppus hcnuats|msinoitaerc[[ gnieb ,sreggin gnillik ,erom gnidneps ,sexat rewol rof nwonk era sevitavresnoC
* Any [[Concerned Mother]]
* [[Sarah Palin]]
* [[John McCain]]
* [[Christine O'Donnell]]
* [[Andrew Schlafly]]
* [[Iain Hall]]
* [[Victoria4usa]]
* [[Nathan Sheets]]
* [[Culturalbaggage]]
* [[Cigarskunk]]
* [[Rednecks]]
* [[Chris-Chan]]
* [[Kid Rock]]
* [[Idiots]]
* [[Norm Coleman]]
* [[Ann Coulter]]
* [[Mike Crapo]]
* [[Inheritrix]]
* [[Michelle Malkin]]
* [[DonDarkstalker]]
* [[Synthetikmisery]]
* [[God]]
* [[FacelessMaster3003]]
* [[DBoyWheeler]]
* [[PilgrimJohn]]
* [[Xiao-Feng-Fury]]
* [[RejectedDreams]]
* [[W]]
* [[blogs4brownback]]- A shitty site devoted to conservativism.
* [[Amalea]]
* [[T. Reginald Gibbons]]
* [[Jeff Gannon]]
* [[Larry Craig]]
* [[Your mom]] d00d. no wonder you're fucked up.
* [http://confurvatives.livejournal.com ConFURvatives] - Even [[furry|FURRIES]] are conservatives!
* [[Werechu]]
* [[Jason Aula|Jason Aula aka J-Rizzle]]
* [[Rangerphile]]s
* [[Chuck Norris]]
* Mippa
*[[R. Lee Ermey]]


.]]ruobal paehc|snacixeM[[ evol snoitaroproc egral swonk enoyreve esuaceb ,lla ta sevitavresnoc yllautca ton era sevitavresnoC.snoigiler esroN mialcer ot yrt neve seno ]]izaN[[ ]]raom[[ eht fo emoS .]tnemevom ytitnedI naitsirhC eht dna yarruM dlonrA lmth.stsicar-etihw-noigiler/ytitnedi-naitsirhc/nacirema/sgro/bewh/gro.rokzin.www//:ptth[ referp sepyt rewop etihw eht hguohtla ,]]snaitsirhC|sgaftsirhc[[ eidnuF era sevitavresnoC emit eht fo ]]%001 tsael tA|001 tsael tA[[ .seimmoc ytrid htiw slarebil detauqe enoyreve esuaceb daed saw msilarebil dna tsixe t'ndid ]]tenretnI[[ eht erehw ,s'0591 eht ekil gnihtemos ot emit ni sdrawkcab gniog snaem yllamron tahT  .etabrutsam ot gninrael retfa sevil rieht deretne taht raef eht odnu ot si sevitavresnoc fo laog eht fo yrammus elbisualp erom A .''gnihtemos'' egnahc ot stnaw ydobyreve sa ,tsixe sevitavresnoc on ,gnikaeps yltcirtS
== See==
* [[Jews]] (they aren't all liberals anymore).


)retsum nac sfres gnivrats %99 fo noitan a sa msiremusnoc ssam hcum sa ,tsael tA(  .msiremusnoc ssam etatilicaf ot dengised ]]tnemirepxe laicos[[ etaroproc a fo tneuqesnoc msilatnemitnes "maerD naciremA" / "efiL citoirtaP laedI" eht ,ecnef tekcip etihw a dna nwal rettuc-eikooc a htiw emoh ledom a edisni ecnetsixe rieht ot taerht a si lla ta egnahc yna ,meht oT .weivdlrow rieht htiw tcilfnoc dluow taht noitamrofni yna morf meht sdleihs doohdlihc ecnis meht otni dedoc-drah sesnopser lanoitome evisserper dna segassap ]]elbib[[ fo wels a hcihw gnirud ,ecitcarp llabtoof ta ffo sdik eht gnippord / llam eht ot gniog dna syawevird rieht gnivael neewteb napsemit trohs eht gnirud tnuocca otni ytilaer ekat sevitavresnoC  .ynori dnatsrednu t'nod sevitavresnoc taht nwonk llew si ti tub ,cinori si siht os ,]]suseJ[[ roivas dna drol rieht tuoba sliame niahc htiw dlrow eht ezirorret netfo sevitavresnoC  .]]stsirorret|smilsuM[[ meht ekam ton did eh taht ]]doG[[ knaht ot og yeht erehw ,]]hcruhc[[ rof tol gnikrap eht sa dlrow eht sees thgir evitavresnoc ehT .redrah uoy taeb evah dluohs eh taht tpecxe ,thgir saw did dad ruoy gnihtyreve taht setats taht ygoloedi lacitilop eht si '''msitavresnoC'''
== See Also ==
* [[Republican]]
* [[Tory]]
* [[Conservapedia]]
* [[Abstinence]]
* [[Religion]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Srsly|SRSLYS]] [[Business|BSNSS]]
* [[Redneck]]
* [[Dan's Devil's Dictionary]]
* [[Retard]]
* [[Illiterate]]
* [[Ian Schwartz]]


== External Links ==
* [http://www.facebook.com/pages/DEAR-LORD-THIS-YEAR-YOU-TOOK-MY-FAVORITE-ACTOR-PATRICK-SWAYZIE-YOU-TOOK-MY-FAVORITE-ACTRESS-FARAH-FAWCETT-YOU-TOOK-MY-FAVORITE-SINGER-MICHAEL-JACKSON-I-JUST-WANTED-TO-LET-YOU-KNOW-MY-FAVORITE-PRESIDENT-IS-BARACK-OBAMA-AMEN/111712585523370?ref=nf| This is a typical conservative group on Facebook]. Note how they have no idea what [[Socialism]] is.


{{truth}}
{{Ljseries}}
{{Politics}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Nao April 23 |[[Ohinternet]]|[[Conservatism]]|[[MONGO]]}}


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]]thgir|bmuht|.sevitavresnoc dednim-ekil fo gnirehtag lacipyt A|gpj.reggihcnyL:egamI[[

Revision as of 12:08, 1 July 2012

A typical gathering of like-minded conservatives.
Conservatives vs Liberal wanks
Come the End Times, conservatives will have the last laugh.
Another conservative basement dweller.
Life in a gated community.
Fiscal Conservatism has done wonders to the economy.
Constipated conservative douchebag.


Conservatism is the political ideology that states that everything your dad did was right, except that he should have beat you harder. The conservative right sees the world as the parking lot for church, where they go to thank God that he did not make them terrorists. Conservatives often terrorize the world with chain emails about their lord and savior Jesus, so this is ironic, but it is well known that conservatives don't understand irony. Conservatives take reality into account during the short timespan between leaving their driveways and going to the mall / dropping the kids off at football practice, during which a slew of bible passages and repressive emotional responses hard-coded into them since childhood shields them from any information that would conflict with their worldview. To them, any change at all is a threat to their existence inside a model home with a cookie-cutter lawn and a white picket fence, the "Ideal Patriotic Life" / "American Dream" sentimentalism consequent of a corporate social experiment designed to facilitate mass consumerism. (At least, as much mass consumerism as a nation of 99% starving serfs can muster)

Strictly speaking, no conservatives exist, as everybody wants to change something. A more plausible summary of the goal of conservatives is to undo the fear that entered their lives after learning to masturbate. That normally means going backwards in time to something like the 1950's, where the Internet didn't exist and liberalism was dead because everyone equated liberals with dirty commies. At least 100% of the time Conservatives are Fundie Christians, although the white power types prefer Arnold Murray and the Christian Identity movement. Some of the moar Nazi ones even try to reclaim Norse religions.Conservatives are not actually conservatives at all, because everyone knows large corporations love cheap labour.

Conservatives are known for lower taxes, spending more, killing niggers, being staunch supporters of science, loving guns, and hating gays (despite being gay themselves). They also hate sex, love teh sweet buttsecks and are against killing the unborn but love killing the already born. They also love George W. Bush and Larry the Cable Guy. Many believe that Conservatism will save America. These people are usually rich, white, assholes who have no idea what (or even where) America is.

Kool-Aid

The official seal of the Republican party and conservatives in general is the Kool-Aid man. The reference originates from the Jonestown Massacre, where a Christfag named Jim Jones led sum nigras to cross the Nile into Guyana where they slurped Grape Kool-Aid all day like nigras always do. It's comparable to the way conservatives down George Bush's bullshit where he claimed conquering the nation of Iraq, would somehow protect the US from Iraq's intercontinental ballistic nuclear missiles that, Saddam's own top generals knew existed. Saddam himself eventually admitted that the WMDS WERE A LIE to scare off Iran, but he didn't think that America would invade. Oops.

Conservative porn

File:Powerpuffgirls34.jpg
A conservative family

It is well known that conservatives are publicly against all bodily fluid contact, skin to skin contact, or any other fun naked stuff, save for procreation. Privately they tend to be more deviant than liberals. They also get off listening to balding, fat blowhards on AM talk radio. The ultimate in Conservative porn is hearing the latest Rush Limbaugh wannabe go off about immigration, banning gay marriage or threatening to shoot the homeless into space. If you want to hear some of this auditory porn, try just about any AM radio station below the Mason-Dixon line in the United States. Fox News will also do in a pinch for a quick splooge in the living room.

Here's a conservative porn store endorsed on a LiveJournal message board or something!!

...that conservative porn is the only form of porn that doesn't turn them on. Then again, conservative porn turns no one on.

FACT: The majority of pedophiles and members of NAMBLA are republicans. GOP stands for "Gathering of Pedophiles".[2] Liberal do-gooders trying to impose fascistic child labor laws on the sex market are Stalinist oppressors intent on initiating force, who must be put down by suitable defensive means ranging from the humble rocket launcher to low-yield nuclear bunker busters.

East Asian Conservatives

East Asian conservatives are mostly 80 year old Chinese man in panties who believe in ancient Chinese beliefs. They can usually be found strolling through their cherry blossom garden recalling ancient Chinese proverb in the third person. Asian Conservatives often force their children through rigorous study in school. This often leads Asian teens to become azn or become an hero. As with most of the world, they are in charge here, but unlike most of the world, they've never lost power.

Asian Conservatives revere:

  • Confucius who is confused.
  • Lao-tsu or Sue Lee, a hot Asian girl.
  • Buddha or the bold guy who sits on the floor.
  • Jackie Chan not the laundromat owner.
  • Sun-Tzu or Sue Sun, another hot Asian chick.
  • Fortune cookies (you.get.eg.lorr).
  • Whoever is in charge.

Not to be confused with Michelle Malkin, NOT a hot chick.

European Conservatives

Europeans believe that Conservatism caused Hitler and that if they act conservative they will be more like Americans. Because of this there is no Conservatism in Europe except in England, where it made all the miners go on strike and have riots at least 100 years ago. And it's popular in Germany as being Conservative lets you openly practice rabid xenophobia, racism and hating fags which are all popular pastimes in Germany, as well as cornerstones of the Conservative philosophy.

Black conservatives

THEY DO EXIST.

OH RLY?

YEA! BOY! WE BE GOT NIGGAS IN DA G.O.P.

SAY WHAT?

TAT RITE BRO.

FO REAL.

FO SHIZZLE.

HHMM MMMM. HAL RITE.

YO! OUR PEOPLE GOT IT GOIN ON. Examples: Larry Elder, Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, Alan Keyes, Allen West and Michael Steele. Don't forget Bill Cosby is telling the fellow negroes "Shame on you" and tells the coloreds to "get a job".

Herman Cain - No wonder he couldn't stay in the GOP Presidential Primary race.

Hispanic conservatives

Learning from the Democrats' successful mass voter registration campaigns in the last 50 years, starting with Cat-o-Mick (Al-co-ho-lic) John F. Kennedy's "Viva Kennedy" campaign that FAILED to register the Cuban refugees in south Florida, the Hispanic voters in the 2000 and 2004 elections were attracted to George "Don Luis el Tejano" Bush in the racist anti-communist party. Mexicans love to work, but sure can be lazy on election day, and are usually protesting "Viva La Raza," "Si se puede," or whatever the beaners are saying in Spanish about illegal immigration. The Conservative work ethic, devoted religious lifestyle, and humongous families (no abortion, no divorce & no feminism) is the ultimate recipe for success for the GOP to gain Hispanic voters. However, last thursday the state of Arizona made sure that hispanics will now all vote Democrat for the next 500 years. Another brilliant strategy by conservatives. The dumbfuck who wrote that can't tell the difference between Hispanics and Spanish-speaking Injuns who are only "Hispanic" during election season.

"Alternative" media

  • FOX News TV channel: 24/7 of "unfair, imbalanced and one-sided" GW.Owned.Propaganda.
  • Talk radio blasting the AM airwaves with unlimited hate speech.
  • THE INTRNTZ. Common conservative mumbojumbo bullshit states that information gathered on the intraweb must be true enough to mention with huge whale-stopping mouths to wide audiences. This is also how all sides of evil gathers poll research that they think might sway people outside of real facts.
  • National Review magazine, there are no African nudes on the photo spread (see Playboy, Penthouse, or Hustler, all are neo-cons' mortal enemies).
  • Christian music: country-western-folk-pop-rock-hip-hop centralized around the Jesus they simultaneously preach in public life and ignore otherwise.
  • Jewtube, check out Ray Stevens (sorry no David Allan Coe).

Conservatism (community)

A typical conservative
This is what conservatives consider as comedy.

conservatism is also a LiveJournal Community theoretically dedicated to discussion of right-wing politics, but generally more concerned with nonsense about Michael Moore and occasionally "what leftists think" or anti-Americanism.

Conservatives make such brilliant debaters.

Typical Conservative YouTube argument

National Anthem of Jesusland

Conservatives want to kill you. PROOF

Qualifications for Membership

Conservative hero talks about how he pwned a unitarian "church" link

Thank God no fetuses were killed in the shooting.
A typical conservative. Note the neckbeard.
Conservatives believe sex is the ultimate evil.
You can always tell how conservative a college is by the size of the campus gloryhole.[1]
  • Leave eagles, the stars and stripes and/or guns everywhere you go.
  • Oppose any kind of fun anyone is having. Fun leads to hell.
  • Believe that only Republicans can save the nation.
  • A belief that the belief in a liberal bias of all media, ever, is a cast-iron refutation of any theory vaguely implying the poster's leftard-hood.
  • Don't graduate college. That's just what the liberals want.
  • Conveniently have amnesia about the years W was the leader of the country.
  • Have an irrational sexual attraction to Jews and Ronald Reagan's corpse.
  • Never read the bible, but claim to be an expert on it anyway.
  • Make long rants on how you believe liberals control the entire universe and how they fail at life. Yet, you forget to realize that you were a liberal when you were a young homosexual. This explains why conservatives retain their homosexuality but begin to hide it.
  • Hate niggers because they're always shooting people but oppose any sort of handgun laws.
  • Believe that America's oil dependency will be amply served by some shale oil fields in Alaska - even though every single government and oil company in the Universe has spent millions of dollars in research grants to reach the conclusion that it's not possible to extract oil from shale. Drill baby, drill!
  • Go on and on about defending freedom yet masturbate to the arrests of pornographers photographers.
  • Believe that everybody that looks at porn should get arrested.
  • Believe that abstinence is the only way not to get pregnant. Masturbation? It's evil.
  • Have a strong attraction to underage boys.
  • Accuse libtards of being too emotional while simultaneously crying like a fag every time the National Anthem is played at a baseball game.
  • Believe in hard work (it doesn't apply for executives).
  • Taxing and spending is evil, yet unconditionally support the military which uses over half of all tax money.
  • Whine constantly about government deficit while being fine with tax cuts that increase the deficit.
  • The ability to work Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and/or Michael Moore into every conversation.
  • The ability to work Abortion, Gay marriage and no-fault divorce into every conversation.
  • Also talk about morals, ethics, rules, laws and taboos.
    • Bonus: How liberals get away with breaking all of them.
  • Own stockpile of rifles, pistols and shotguns to "protect" you from the government, military, and law institutions that you simultaneously worship and believe can do no wrong, while also believing that your pathetic stockpile would help you if the military came after you.
  • Call Obama a nazi communist without realizing that the nazi party was opposed to communism. When this is pointed out, just yell louder. Conservatives can be easily recognized by their lack of critical thinking.
  • The ability to declare yourself a disbeliever in "political correctness" while getting butthurt if anyone says anything bad about the US military, police, Christians, Jews, Israel, White people, Jews, "red-staters", Confederacy, Republicans in general, Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush in particular; or implies that the US is anything but the best country in the world.
  • Be a complete gullible dumbass, preferably an IQ of less than 100.
  • Watch Fix'd News and sincerely believe it is fair and balanced just because the self-described conservatives on air say things that you agree with.
  • Buy in to fear tactics, and fear the colored people (blacks, Mexicans, gays, Asians & esp. Moslems).
  • Hate Islam while supporting most of their policies, as opposed to liberals who love Islam but hate most of their policies.
  • Repressed homosexuality, often manifesting itself as blatant faggotry and actual gay sex, the memories of which are also later repressed.
  • Gaps in immediate memory in conjunction with anal soreness.
  • Lifelong financial insulation from anything resembling 'reality' (only necessary for Jew-level membership).
  • Constant whining about liberals being whiny or proclaiming yourself to be the 'anti-liberal.'
  • If owned by a high school libtard, then insult that person constantly just because he/she is a high schooler.
    • Forgetting the fact that you were a libtard when you were in high school.
  • Tells foreigners to GTFO on issues they cannot solve.
  • Tell Native Americans to go back to India (LOLWAT?)
  • Be a Pedophile while simultaneously calling for all sex criminals and "predators" to get the death penalty.
  • Have a predisposition to believe that human rights and democracy are oh-so-oppressed everywhere whether it's in China, Russia, Iran, France, or Venezuela (or any other country the US government doesn't like) but at the same time, bitch and complain every time the Democrats win an election at home or, God forbid, liberals utilize their rights to free speech.
    • Bitch BIG TIME about Obama being a legitimately elected representative.
  • Have a tendency to call anyone and everyone a 'socialist' and/or 'commie' as soon as they feel personally threatened or disagree in any way with the other person's opinions on anything.
    • Not know the definition of "socialism" or "communism".
  • Have an identity crisis at any moment you have to use your brain, usually resorting to Christianity, alcoholism, pedophilia, and other typical vices of Catholic priests, who are great examples of Conservatives.
  • Knowledge of where the best public restrooms to cruise for cock are.
  • Speak in tongues. HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE LORD! GOP! OBONGO! AMEN! GIT R DUN!
  • Go into TL;DL rants anytime they hear someone call the United States a "democracy". Because democracy never refers to a "representative democracy", only "tyranny by liberals"!. This is also true of Libertarians, which are just a type of Conservative anyway.
  • Believe that anybody that challenges your beliefs has been corrupted by liberals.[3]
  • Threaten secession, revolution, or to kill politicians, yet be deathly afraid of liberal protestors for disobeying authority.
  • And be a Mormon! It worked for Mitt Romney and Glenn Beck, and the Osmonds.

How to troll Conservatives OL

It should be noted that trolling conservatives is redundant since conservatives are perpetually butthurt 24/7 anyway, and spend most of their time jacking off to AM radio, bibles, and kiddie porn, so they might have too much denial to be trolled well.

Trolling Conservfags IRL.

In general, some fun tricks to play on conservatives are to tell them someone is either:

  • Trying to kill them
  • Making them pay taxes
  • Taking their jerb
  • Destroying their culture
  • Reading a book in front of them that was not written by Sean Hannity
  • Making them speak another language
  • Outlawing religion
  • Attempting to have a rational debate
  • Having gay sex
  • Looking at porn
  • Having sex before marriage
  • Getting an abortion
  • Criticising Jews
    • Or even all at once

This does not have to be true, but if you say you're a Christian, they'll believe you. You may also have to say how much you love Jesus.

Using these simple techniques, you can easily confuse them into thinking you give a shit about what you're talking about, or things like convincing them it's good if people are guilty until proven innocent, and that it's good to give up your freedom for a false sense of security (though you should always emphasize how it is not false through dramatic technique). One important thing is to keep them on edge 24/7. This can be accomplished by bitter hags, sensationalist closet homosexuals, and FOX News. It sounds complicated, but is easy once you get the hang of it. They can even trick themselves with it! Other overdone plots:

  • You see, Canada is obviously superior.
  • I think Hillary Clinton would make an excellent President, as long as she doesn't have sexual relations with that woman's husband things should run smoothly.
  • Did you know that Ronald Reagan invented AIDS because he hates hated black people and gays? (You may or may not want to mention that he gave Jews the antidote to AIDS, permitting them to continue having unlimited buttsex.)
  • People should not be afraid of their government, government should be afraid of their people"
  • Republicans are on a war on terror, Democrats are on a war on error.

The truth about conservatives

It can be explained in a song.

   
“ 		 
See the way your bourgeois, lower middle class trailer trash values work.

Havin' tons of straight buggery then you go to church on Sunday, claim that you're so great.

Thinkin' you've got the largest penis in the world just because you're the most morbidly obese.

You're saved because you're a Christian, you'd be saved even more if you were a Jew.

Conservatives shine all your light on me, oh conservatives shine all your light on me.


Freedom is the thing makes you wish you were never born.

It's the sort of thing that makes you wanna jerk off to gay porn.

Hypocritical McCarthyists, talking about traditional values and gettin' divorced.

Bemoaning the way our lifestyles are and having biracial illegitimate kids.

Conservatives shine all your light on me, oh conservatives shine all your light on me.
 

„
  		 

List of Conservatards

Conservatives woman SE Cupp doing what she does best.
Use to troll Christian Conservatives.
Conservatives are deathly afraid of being (mindcon-)trolled into becoming homosexuals.

See

  • Jews (they aren't all liberals anymore).

See Also

External Links

Conservatism is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

Conservatism is part of a series on

LiveJournal

Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.

Conservatism
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-right • Anarchy • Capitalism • Centrism • Communism • Conservatism • Cyanism • Democrat • Hippie • Liberalism • Libertarianism • Miltopism • Nazi • Nihilism • Neo-con • Pacifism • Republican • Reconquista • Socialism • Stoner Guru • Tory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

Abortion • Arab Spring • Bahrain • Barron Trump • Birth • CISPA • Death penalty • Drugs • Environmentalism • Gays • George Bush doesn't care about black people • Girlfriends • Marijuana Addiction • Ground Zero Mosque • Marijuana Addiction • Mass Shooting • Gun control • Guns • Healthcare (2) (3)• Homeless • Housing Crisis • Hunting • Iceslave • Iran • Marriage • Miller Test • Miltopia • NAU • Pimpin' • Racism • Shoes • Taxes • Terrorism • Unemployment • War • Welfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

Ahmadinejad • Akin • AOC • B.Allen • G. Allen • Angle • Ashburn • Bachmann • Bhutto • Bin Laden • H.Biden • J.Biden • Blagojevich • Blair • Boehner • G.Brown • S.Brown • Bunning • Jim Traficant • Dubya Bush • George H. W. Bush • Burr • Byrd • Cain • Cameron • Chavez • Che • Cheney • Chomsky • Chretien • Churchill • Clinton • Clinton II • Chelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton Clegg • Cohen • Coleman • Corbyn • Cowger • Craig • Cthulhu • Cunningham • Curtis • D'Alema • Dean • Delay • Duterte • Dwyer • Edwards • Fagan • Fiorina • Foley • Gerald Ford • Rob Ford • Geller • Gillard • Gingrich • Giuliani • Gonzales • Gore • Graham • Gravel • Greene • Griffin • Hague • Hanson • Harding • Harper • Harris • Hitler • Howard • Huckabee • Hussein • Jackson • James • Jidette • Johnson • Johnson, Boris • Kennedy • LaRouche • LBJ • Lott • Kerry • Kind • Kissinger • Kucinich • Lewinsky • Lieberman • Limbaugh • Loughner • Major • Marceaux.com • Marx • McBerry • McCain • McConnell • McHenry • McKinney • Mercer • Michael Bloomberg • Moore • Morocco Mole • Mussolini • Nader • Nixon • Obama • O'Donnell • Osborne • Paine • Paladino • Palin • Paul • Pelosi • Pence • Perry • Pinochet • Pritt • Putin • Quah • Quayle • Rasansky • Reagan • Rendell • Rice • Robertson • Romney • Rove • Rudd • Rumsfeld • Ryan • Saakashvili • Sanders • Santorum • Schumer • Schwarzenegger • Sharpton • Cyril Smith • Jacqui Smith • Spitzer • Stevens • Stranahan • Supreme • Taitz • Thatcher • Thompson • Thorley • TPMMuckraker Mole • Trudeau • Trump • Vance • Ventura • Vitter • Walz • Warsi • Washington • Waxman • Weiner • West • Williams • Wilson • Wolfowitz • X • Xenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third Party • Black Bloc • Dramacratic Party • Hard Party • Lemon Party • Liberal Party of Australia • North American DONG Party • OBAMACORN • Socialist Workers Party • Pirate Party • Zapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government Shutdown • Blaming China • Captain Nigga Defenda • Cloward Piven Strategy • Critical race theory • Cuckservatives • Demockery • Doomsday Clock • G20 Toronto Lollercaust • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberal guilt • Macaca • #NotMySuperbowlChamps • Occupy Democrats • Operation Lemonparty • Raped Statistics • The Resistance • Upworthy • Wunderground

See also: 2012 Elections • 2016 Presidential Elections • 2020 Presidential Elections • 2024 USA Presidential Elections • Internet Politics • PizzaGate • Political communities • Roe v. Wade

Article of the Nao April 23
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