Bahrain

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Bahrain is a small country in the Arabian Peninsula that is a protectorate of the Wahhabist Saudi Royal Family. No one would give a shit about Bahrain if it weren't for all the oil that it sits on top and the fact it has an excellent deep water port for Zionist forces to use against Terrorist Iran. Due to this importance for showing those Iranians and any other Arab who is boss, as long as the country remains stable for America's naval interests, things would be good for all. This peacefulness would not remain the case for long. For those who have been living under a rock, since December 17th, 2010, much of the Arab World has been engulfed in revolution. While there have been moderate successes in Tunisia and Libya, Egypt has been trickier business, and Syria has turned to pure shit. One revolution has experienced a media blackout due to the conjoined interests of American military interests and corporate media in mutual cahoots to hide the truth. This media blackout is an unacceptable attempt by numerous political forces to hide the fact they don't actually care about human rights and the Democracy they use as excuses to invade countries. Do you have doubts about this being a conspiracy? Well that was pretty stupid of you, but then again it wouldn't be good propaganda if most people didn't believe those lies. In this eternal struggle for the right to simply tell the truth, Encyclopedia Dramatica wishes to present the greatest drama bomb ever to be unleash on the United States: The Bahrain Revolution.

What is Bahrain

Bahrain is a small island kingdom located in the Persian Gulf. In the long history Bahrain has been inhabited, the people of Bahrain have ruled by many foreign sovereigns, never their own. Currently, the occupation of Bahrain is controlled by another group of foreigners today who are cleverly disguised as the "legitimate" Al Khalifa Royal Family. When oil was first discovered in the Middle East in 1932 in Bahrain, only a small amount was found which propelled the Bahraini economy to diversify away from oil to things such as infrastructure, finance, and tourism. Due to the excellent economic management of the King of Bahrain, Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa, Bahrain is the 12th freest economy according to an allegedly very important conservative think-tanks. Somehow the ruling Bahraini elite have managed to convince conservatives in America that the economic status quo in Bahrain is some how "free markets," when the Bahraini Royal Family continually resorts to allowing corruption and nepotism to flourish among the elite. If it weren't for Bahrain's excellent port that allows strategic control of the Persian Gulf, America would be invading Bahrain for their oil and other wealth under the guise of bringing "Freedom and Democracy" to an oppressed people living under a tyrannical autocratic regime.

So what is the low down on what has happened in Bahrain?

Despite what corporate media tells you, or rather never mentions, is that our best allies in the Middle East are Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, the United Arab Eremites, Turkey, and Israel. Only the last two are democracies and only Turkey has a ruling elite who aren't radicals in either sense. While there is plenty to bitch about the Jews, there are much worse people in the Middle East. The ruling families of Saudi Arabia and Bahrain are despotic autocrats with a notable few are terrorists or govern under the Islamist ideals of the Wahhabi sect. Not only did some our greatest enemies from Al-Qaeda were members from the Saudi Royal family who were never completely ostracized from the family's Arab Money, terrorism isn't unknown to the Bahraini Royal family either. So when secular democracy protests broke out on the small, industrialized island nation of Bahrain, the cartel of oil tycoons, wahhabists, and terrorists had their authority challenged by unarmed protesters, they only had one logical choice.

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Revolution Begins

Look at how dangerous these protesters are.

On February 14th, 2011 protesters inspired by the revolutions first started by a man who set himself on fire decided to congregate in the Pearl Roundabout in Manama, Bahrain. This lasted for four days until a crackdown by police forces during the night left several dead and dozens seriously injured. This night became known as Bloody Thursday by Bahraini revolutionaries, but this would only be the beginning of the death to come. On March 9th, 2011, the largest protest in Bahrain's history, authorities claiming the numbers ranged from over 100,000 people to 250,000 people, meaning that 12%-25% of the island's population support the demand for secular democracy.

The Empire Strikes Back

The size of the protest scared the Bahraini Royal family that they called in foreign mercenaries arrived on March 14th, 2011. A day later the King of Bahrain declared martial law for three months during a crackdown that not only targeted unarmed activists, but also bloggers and even doctors.

The Clean up

After the crackdown led by foreign mercenaries waged a war of state sponsored terrorism against protesters, the government continued the crackdown further. The Bahraini government sponsored a program via facebook to identify protesters whose pictures had been taken at protests so they could be ostracized and potentially arrested. If you ever read a comment on a website that seemed incredibly opinionated to the point you don't think it is genuine, you wonder if a troll was paid to make that comment, this is what happened in Bahrain. All the while Facebook remain complicit for weeks at a time allowing numerous pages dedicated to this internet lynching to run amok.

Aftermath

The human rights violations continued recently when a Bahraini court upheld a decision to prosecute nine doctors for their political affiliations such as treating dying protesters or showing up at protests. Despite the absurd decisions of these kangaroo courts, the neocons at the Heritage Foundation believe that "rule of law only applies to property rights and not internationally recognized human rights such as not torturing your own people, especially for the crime of demanding secular democracy via peaceful means.

At the other end of the ideological spectrum of neocons, the United States government postponed selling $53 million dollars of weapons to Bahrain due to laws that prevent our government from selling weapons to countries who engage in human rights violations. Instead of obeying the common sense law, the White House utilized a loophole that if the weapons packages were each sold with a price-tag of under one million dollars, there are no legal restrictions on whoever the White House wishes to sell weapons to, including terrorists ranging from Al-Qaeda to the state sponsored terrorism of Bahrain. The State Department spokeswoman, Victoria Nuland, claimed that the shipments of ammunition, Humvees, and missiles couldn't be used on protesters.

Until recently, the protesters themselves have been mostly peaceful, occasionally footage of a single protester attacking police emerges on the internet as a justification for the crackdown, but that is just Bahraini regime's propaganda deceiving you from the truth. At this point in the revolution, the Bahraini government has denied all peaceful means for reform and invited foreign mercenaries to murder protesters as they please. Peaceful protests cannot work as you cannot convince foreign mercenaries to join your side, they have no loyalty to the country or its people. The American Founding Fathers couldn't have used peaceful means on establishing sovereignty against a force of foreign occupiers, they needed to use violence to overthrow the British Army. The same can be said here about Bahrain, only violence directed at overthrowing the thuggish elite can achieve a secular democracy and real human rights, not simply property rights for the plutocrats.

The elaboration on why/how we managed to pull this shit off

Encyclopedia Dramatica managed to pull this off because we weren't joking around about our claims in our Five Year Plan, we intend on doing all of this. However, Encyclopedia Dramatica can only do so much, since website content is submitted by users like you, we cannot accomplish anything without your dedication and your labor. The EDiots in Bahrain are literally risking their lives in an attempt to expose the truth for your pleasure and education, the least you can do is donate with writing/editing or money. While such donations in writing and money are humbly desired, if you are dedicated to the cause your efforts can be used towards an article contribution similar to this or Broadside would be most appreciated (not that any donation goes unappreciated here). If you can't do that, tell your friends about us, our only means of advertisement is word of mouth and plenty of internet users who don't realize that Encyclopedia Dramatica is back online.

We encourage any Bahraini revolutionaries who discover this article to upload information to this page as our EDiots on the ground can only do so much.

August 9th 2012

These are maps and emails from American officers in Bahrain sent out to various individuals that Encyclopedia Dramatica has acquired. We have self censored them as we don't need faggots doxing government officials when it is unnecessary.

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August 13th 2012

The documents we (look at North) have acquired match up with serious protest crackdown that happened on the ground, though the protest happened a day earlier than expected, suggesting that Bahraini and American officials have inefficient intelligence gathering techniques.

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August 18th 2012

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August 21th 2012

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August 22th 2012

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See Also

• Saudi Arabia
• United States
• Iran
• Broadside
• Five Year Plan
• Politics
• IRL
• Warning this documentary is really sad, some of you might cry

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