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Mario Laudicina: Difference between revisions
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{{spoiler|He | {{spoiler|He's a mormon who scammed a fuckton of people with shitty products all the while claming to be a super mega ultra genius}} | ||
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[[File:Mario_famili.jpg|thumb|right|What a lovely family.]] | [[File:Mario_famili.jpg|thumb|right|What a lovely family.]] | ||
'''Mario Laudicina'''{{jew}} (a.k.a. Mario Laudike) is an [[argentina|Argentinian]] racketeer disguised as an | '''Mario Laudicina'''{{jew}} (a.k.a. Mario Laudike) is an [[argentina|Argentinian]] racketeer, disguised as an entrepreneur, specializing in creating one-man startups for obtaining people's [[money]] by promising them awesome products like $50 [[Dongcopter|helicopters]]. He is also a seasoned [[e-detective]]; adept in blocking anyone who dares to criticize his videos on Youtube and [[lolsuit|suing]] them if they are Argentinian, citing [[lol|copyright laws]] and [[LOL WUT|defamation]]. Mario is also a staunch advocate of the [[ALL CAPS]] style of [[Spam|written communique]]. | ||
==Autobiography== | ==Autobiography== | ||
His [[Rich and beautiful|success]] is such that he took it upon himself to write his own [[Book|biography]], within which he constantly refers to himself in [[USI|the third-person]], whilst at the same time creating three new academic careers and two new technologies in IT. After all... that's how [[the man|succesful men]] roll. | |||
''All statements below are fully [[sic]]. (Typos are adapted from | ''All statements below are fully [[sic]]. (Typos are adapted from Spanish to English, translator's comments are between brackets)'' | ||
[[File:Bullshitometre.gif|thumb| | [[File:Bullshitometre.gif|thumb|Bullshitometer reading?]] | ||
{{story|Mario Laudicina Spinnato (Mendoza, Argentina, February 17 of 1981) {{hover|bet|best}} known as Mario Laudicina is a {{hover|italic|Italian}}-half argentinian entrepeneur. Son of the Civil Engineer Juancarlos Laudicina and the {{hover|architect|a masculine noun in the original language, thus being the son of two men}} Ermanna Spinnato with italian citizenship they moved in Argentina during WWII. {{hover|Grandson of the internationally recognized painters and sculptors Salvatore Spinnato and Piera Lombardo|there is no subject or punctuation in this text because he does not know how to use them}}. | {{story|Mario Laudicina Spinnato (Mendoza, Argentina, February 17 of 1981) {{hover|bet|best}} known as Mario Laudicina is a {{hover|italic|Italian}}-half argentinian entrepeneur. Son of the Civil Engineer Juancarlos Laudicina and the {{hover|architect|a masculine noun in the original language, thus being the son of two men}} Ermanna Spinnato with italian citizenship they moved in Argentina during WWII. {{hover|Grandson of the internationally recognized painters and sculptors Salvatore Spinnato and Piera Lombardo|there is no subject or punctuation in this text because he does not know how to use them}}. | ||
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Mario laudicina job [worked] in several ctris [countries], sectors and different fields and he rzed [recognized] in a poltcal [politica] work of a conservatice-progressist type which he called Declation [Declaration] for the Security of Future.}} | Mario laudicina job [worked] in several ctris [countries], sectors and different fields and he rzed [recognized] in a poltcal [politica] work of a conservatice-progressist type which he called Declation [Declaration] for the Security of Future.}} | ||
Gibberish, huh? But... why are there weird words that have nothing to do with the sentences? In [[Spanish]], there are these retarded symbols like ´, that in most times, when forgotten, they change the word's meaning. That's why [[ | Gibberish, huh? But... why are there weird words that have nothing to do with the sentences? In [[Spanish]], there are these retarded symbols like ´, that in most times, when forgotten, they change the word's meaning. That's why [[English]] is the best language. | ||
==Enterprises== | ==Enterprises== | ||
Since Mario is the | Since Mario is ''the'' definition of [[Faggot|Successful Entrepreneur]] all of his known ventures are worth to mention here. Follow his examples and you will no doubt [[PROFIT|PROFIT!!!]] in a very short time. | ||
===Lotux=== | ===Lotux=== | ||
[[File:Lotux.png|right]] | [[File:Lotux.png|right]] | ||
Lotux is an enteprise focused on IT solutions, its flagship product | Lotux is an enteprise focused on IT solutions, its flagship product being the Lotux-series OS which includes ''Lotux NEON 3D''. They have developed the first hybrid OS which incorporates Linux's [[Forever alone|usability]], FreeBSD's [[Bisexual|compatibility]], Mac OS's [[LOL|stability]] and Windows's [[Shit|security]]. It has been distributed via eBay and its [[spic]] cousin, MercadoLibre. Here is the reply from Mario to a potential client regarding this revolutionary OS: | ||
[[File:Lotuxneon3d.jpg|thumb|left|It is in no way like vista.]] | [[File:Lotuxneon3d.jpg|thumb|left|It is in no way like vista.]] | ||
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===AustralyS=== | ===AustralyS=== | ||
AustralyS | AustralyS, otherwise known as AUSTRALYS, is an enterprise which stems from Mario's need to stop creating replicas of the Lamborghini <!--Wut?--> in which he aims to achieve a higher standard of quality by means of reducing 'ride-height' for ''"economic, aerodynamic and gravitational issues"''. AustralyS is also known for its [[lie|active support of the International Red Cross]] and have even [[bullshit|provided helicopters for the Italian Government following an earthquake within an undisclosed Italian region]]. | ||
====Vehicle Distribution==== | ====Vehicle Distribution==== | ||
[[File:Laudike2.jpg|center|1000px]] | [[File:Laudike2.jpg|center|1000px|Sweet whip bro...]] | ||
AustralyS has developed a new | AustralyS has developed a new model named the ''HàlcyoN{{tm}}'', which is an electric car that can be plugged to a simple standard wall-socket and then charged in less than twenty-minutes. It is manufactured in every colour known to man and you can turn it on by simply swiping your ID card in front of the multi-touch dashboard (cf. [[Mario Laudicina#R+D|R+D]]). | ||
[[Image:Australys_pallete.jpg|thumb|left|Oh my gosh... a car available in every colour known to man... | [[Image:Australys_pallete.jpg|thumb|left|Oh my gosh... a car available in every colour known to man... remember to wear a helmet because it's pretty damn fast. It couldn't be a [[trap]], nope, not at all.]] | ||
Mario has demonstrated his skills in computer-modelling by submitting a commerical featuring his very own 3D-renders. | |||
{{ytplus|lol|<youtube>ntsBQPOEV4M</youtube>|All argentinian users that defame or write insults in this channel will be blocked. | {{ytplus|lol|<youtube>ntsBQPOEV4M</youtube>|All argentinian users that defame or write insults in this channel will be blocked. | ||
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We are seriously tired of the niggers, lazy fucks, and resentful Argentinians...}} | We are seriously tired of the niggers, lazy fucks, and resentful Argentinians...}} | ||
They also manufacture helicopters and jets | They also manufacture helicopters and jets but insist that they be paid in advance due to ''"aeronautical security reasons"''. | ||
====Internet Services Reselling==== | ====Internet Services Reselling==== | ||
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[[File:Australys_internet_reselling.jpg|center|880px]] | [[File:Australys_internet_reselling.jpg|center|880px]] | ||
Because selling fake cars isn't enough, he created a gigantic clusterfuck of services under the "AustralyS Group" brand. | Because selling fake cars isn't enough, he created a gigantic [[Template:ClusterBomb|clusterfuck]] of services under the "AustralyS Group" brand. Amongst these is a small ISP named AustralyS Internet. AustralyS Internet is merely a reseller of home internet connections from major ISPs with "tweaked functions", like sniffing all your traffic, getting '''a motherfucking 3D mode''' that no ones knows how to operate and a god awful homepage with "omg [[lens flare|reflections]]" on it because ''any'' design that features reflections is a good design, right? | ||
After you have signed the contract ( | After you have signed the contract (thereby literally selling your soul to [[Satan]]), the internet service will function but only for a period of around three-weeks. Once this time has elapsed the service will start to become intermitent and Mario will inform you that your bills are late/you are downloading illegal content/you failed to comply with X contract clause. Should you choose to terminate your contract he will invariably stalk you, use the stored passwords he got via sniffing your network, post your [[dox]] and send you hate mail that explains [[lie|how much of a whitey]] he is and go on to state that you are "a fucking aboriginal [[nigger]]-[[spic]]". | ||
====R+D==== | ====R+D==== | ||
He has developed the HàlcyoN, a fully electric car | He has developed the HàlcyoN{{tm}}, a fully electric car which can be charged from a wall-socket, with a multitouch dashboard. For proof that it actually exists he manufactured a demonstration-version of the dashboard however, this only serves to reveal just how much of a hoax it is, even a thirteen-year old boy could fabricate a working dashboard that's more time-consuming and infinitely more aestethically pleasing. | ||
<center><youtube>2014g8QDOJ8</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>2014g8QDOJ8</youtube></center> | ||
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==Dramas== | ==Dramas== | ||
Some | Some Argies at a [[circlejerk|tech-related forum]] named [http://www.pcmasmas.com PC++] have found his fraudulent services and with only minimal effort provoked massive [[butthurt]] prompting Mario to begin throwing around legal threats to everyone that insulted him. This all began at some point around [[2006]]. | ||
All his [[lolsuits]] were under defamation, copyright | All his [[lolsuits]] were charges under defamation, breach of copyright and harrassment, but actually, none of them got to the courtrooms; being nothing more than hate filled e-mails advising people they'd "better get a damn good lawyer" and "see you in court"-ish letters. | ||
[[File:Phoenix_Wright.jpg|right]] | [[File:Phoenix_Wright.jpg|right]] | ||
===Vile copying of [[Daniel Brandt]]'s Hivemind=== | ===Vile copying of [[Daniel Brandt]]'s Hivemind=== | ||
As he was unable to mount any IRL lawsuits Mario just did what he knows best, claim that "everyone is owing him money" and that they are "fucking niggers" but he then actually went a step further and published dox on former "unloyal" clients and harrassers in the [http://www.australys.com/ AustralyS website] while he also added some actual Chinese defrauding companies for giving the doxs certain faked reliability. He even added a flux diagram for replying to FAQ's, and all the questions but one end in "[[gtfo]]" as an answer. Lovely "first world marketing model", huh? | |||
He also blamed all his business's fails | He also blamed all his business's fails upopn the people and the forums that exposed him. | ||
{{quote|[[No|Everyone have envy from me]].| anally-devastated Mario}} | |||
===Aftermath=== | ===Aftermath=== | ||
Nowadays, the website is still a "hivemind" | Nowadays, the website is still a "hivemind" although there are no products listed there, only disclaimers and threat messages. He is still perpetrating most of his frauds but Lotux, he especially profits from reselling shitty internets. [[Some argue]] that he just wanted to be the spic [[Bill Gates]] but he [[fail|failed]] at it. | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Revision as of 05:04, 12 October 2012
|
WARNING: With |
Mario Laudicina✡ (a.k.a. Mario Laudike) is an Argentinian racketeer, disguised as an entrepreneur, specializing in creating one-man startups for obtaining people's money by promising them awesome products like $50 helicopters. He is also a seasoned e-detective; adept in blocking anyone who dares to criticize his videos on Youtube and suing them if they are Argentinian, citing copyright laws and defamation. Mario is also a staunch advocate of the ALL CAPS style of written communique.
Autobiography
His success is such that he took it upon himself to write his own biography, within which he constantly refers to himself in the third-person, whilst at the same time creating three new academic careers and two new technologies in IT. After all... that's how succesful men roll.
All statements below are fully sic. (Typos are adapted from Spanish to English, translator's comments are between brackets)
Mario Laudicina Spinnato (Mendoza, Argentina, February 17 of 1981) bet known as Mario Laudicina is a italic-half argentinian entrepeneur. Son of the Civil Engineer Juancarlos Laudicina and the architect Ermanna Spinnato with italian citizenship they moved in Argentina during WWII. Grandson of the internationally recognized painters and sculptors Salvatore Spinnato and Piera Lombardo.
Mario Laudicina at the age of 7, in the year 1988 cam back to Rome, Italy with his family, where he studed in superscalar arquitecture and graded as a systems analyst in 2002 June.
While his studies in the 1998 development 2 technologes called DMH (Dinamic Memory Handling) and FCT (Floating Cache Technology) for optimizing the internal use of the proccessors' memory and increase the access capacity to the ram memory from the proccessor (CPU). These technologes were evaluated by people at the Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. (AMD) which is the second mundial company producer of compatible microproccessors x86 and x64.
Mario Laudicina, ater graduating he changed to Spain for studing the spanish language and then to England, USA and Canda for sutding the English language until year 2004.
In August of 2004 he changed to his contry and county of origin, Mendoza, Argentina, where he fded the Lotux Informatica enterprise. This enterprise was founded with the objective to offer informas services of mxium quality. In December of 2005, the enterprise Lotux rched its mxium growth and it was temporally recognized in Mendoza county as one of the best product quality and client service enterprise.
Mario Laudicina and the enterprise Lotux Informtics were aso locally recongized and in certain international level because of the development of an experimantal operative system called Lotux Neon which is semi-compatible with programs for Windows and it noticed because of its easyness to use and stability. This operative system but it was left very limited in its distribution because of grave incompatibilities with the multimedial libris Direct X of Microsoft which are required for execusting a great nubero of software product.
Since Lotux infortica [informatics] was founded was closed and reopened 2 times because of the presupuesto [budget] permanently limited and unfavorable ecmocas [economic] conditions in the contry [country] and a first-world-marketing strategy which couldn't have suses [success] in Argentina.
Mario Laudicina definitely clsd [closed] the doors of Lotux Iformatcs [Informatics] the 2nd of April 2007 and he changed [moved] definitely to the United States in May 2007 where actually this [he is now] proyecting [projecting] the new building of the Lotux emterprise in the city of Salt Lake City in the state of Utah for restore the same enterprise, services and a new improved versn [version] of the operative system before developed in Argentina.
Mario laudicina job [worked] in several ctris [countries], sectors and different fields and he rzed [recognized] in a poltcal [politica] work of a conservatice-progressist type which he called Declation [Declaration] for the Security of Future.
Gibberish, huh? But... why are there weird words that have nothing to do with the sentences? In Spanish, there are these retarded symbols like ´, that in most times, when forgotten, they change the word's meaning. That's why English is the best language.
Enterprises
Since Mario is the definition of Successful Entrepreneur all of his known ventures are worth to mention here. Follow his examples and you will no doubt PROFIT!!! in a very short time.
Lotux
Lotux is an enteprise focused on IT solutions, its flagship product being the Lotux-series OS which includes Lotux NEON 3D. They have developed the first hybrid OS which incorporates Linux's usability, FreeBSD's compatibility, Mac OS's stability and Windows's security. It has been distributed via eBay and its spic cousin, MercadoLibre. Here is the reply from Mario to a potential client regarding this revolutionary OS:
AustralyS
AustralyS, otherwise known as AUSTRALYS, is an enterprise which stems from Mario's need to stop creating replicas of the Lamborghini in which he aims to achieve a higher standard of quality by means of reducing 'ride-height' for "economic, aerodynamic and gravitational issues". AustralyS is also known for its active support of the International Red Cross and have even provided helicopters for the Italian Government following an earthquake within an undisclosed Italian region.
Vehicle Distribution
AustralyS has developed a new model named the HàlcyoN™, which is an electric car that can be plugged to a simple standard wall-socket and then charged in less than twenty-minutes. It is manufactured in every colour known to man and you can turn it on by simply swiping your ID card in front of the multi-touch dashboard (cf. R+D).
Mario has demonstrated his skills in computer-modelling by submitting a commerical featuring his very own 3D-renders.
| |||
They also manufacture helicopters and jets but insist that they be paid in advance due to "aeronautical security reasons".
Internet Services Reselling
Because selling fake cars isn't enough, he created a gigantic clusterfuck of services under the "AustralyS Group" brand. Amongst these is a small ISP named AustralyS Internet. AustralyS Internet is merely a reseller of home internet connections from major ISPs with "tweaked functions", like sniffing all your traffic, getting a motherfucking 3D mode that no ones knows how to operate and a god awful homepage with "omg reflections" on it because any design that features reflections is a good design, right?
After you have signed the contract (thereby literally selling your soul to Satan), the internet service will function but only for a period of around three-weeks. Once this time has elapsed the service will start to become intermitent and Mario will inform you that your bills are late/you are downloading illegal content/you failed to comply with X contract clause. Should you choose to terminate your contract he will invariably stalk you, use the stored passwords he got via sniffing your network, post your dox and send you hate mail that explains how much of a whitey he is and go on to state that you are "a fucking aboriginal nigger-spic".
R+D
He has developed the HàlcyoN™, a fully electric car which can be charged from a wall-socket, with a multitouch dashboard. For proof that it actually exists he manufactured a demonstration-version of the dashboard however, this only serves to reveal just how much of a hoax it is, even a thirteen-year old boy could fabricate a working dashboard that's more time-consuming and infinitely more aestethically pleasing.
Dramas
Some Argies at a tech-related forum named PC++ have found his fraudulent services and with only minimal effort provoked massive butthurt prompting Mario to begin throwing around legal threats to everyone that insulted him. This all began at some point around 2006.
All his lolsuits were charges under defamation, breach of copyright and harrassment, but actually, none of them got to the courtrooms; being nothing more than hate filled e-mails advising people they'd "better get a damn good lawyer" and "see you in court"-ish letters.
Vile copying of Daniel Brandt's Hivemind
As he was unable to mount any IRL lawsuits Mario just did what he knows best, claim that "everyone is owing him money" and that they are "fucking niggers" but he then actually went a step further and published dox on former "unloyal" clients and harrassers in the AustralyS website while he also added some actual Chinese defrauding companies for giving the doxs certain faked reliability. He even added a flux diagram for replying to FAQ's, and all the questions but one end in "gtfo" as an answer. Lovely "first world marketing model", huh?
He also blamed all his business's fails upopn the people and the forums that exposed him.
— anally-devastated Mario | ||
Aftermath
Nowadays, the website is still a "hivemind" although there are no products listed there, only disclaimers and threat messages. He is still perpetrating most of his frauds but Lotux, he especially profits from reselling shitty internets. Some argue that he just wanted to be the spic Bill Gates but he failed at it.
