Cum

Cum makes for a delicious cocktail

Cum is a slang term indicating either the act of ejaculating or the slippery by-products of said act. Recent scientific breakthroughs have uncovered that cumming is twice as good when it is the end product of rape. Especially if the 'rape victim' gets pregnant and bonus if the offspring looks like you so it can remind the rapee of that wonderful night.

In persons with cock, the verb (To Cum/Ejaculate) refers to the overtly obvious twitch n' spurt. For people who don't want to become pregnant and hate having to use condoms, pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a 100% chance that you have avoided becoming a parent. For you, this occurs about ten seconds before you close your browser window and cry yourself to sleep. Or, get all butthurt because you blew your load right when the camera panned to a dude's face.

Semen

Cum is an excellent source of nutrients.

Semen is a white-ish liquid that ejaculates from a male penis when stimulated, following this a man is generally exhausted and fulfilled making him easily malleable to the manipulative will of his partner. Often an excellent time for a woman to ask for money.

The nutritional value of semen largely equates to that of egg whites, therefore it is a high-protein and low-carb food ideal for the woman on-the-go. The average ejaculation, or serving size, is about a tablespoon which equals about fifteen calories. This can vary by man, and ejaculatory conditions.

A Woman's Best Friend

It often believed that women don't like semen. This is a gross misconception as the adjoining photo shows. Any woman who refuses to swallow is most likely a whiny, shallow, money-grubbing ice princess, self-empowered feminist who has a LiveJournal, or if you're lucky simply a Succubus out to drag your mortal body into the bowels of hell to burn for all eternity.

• Ladies take note! It is an established fact that there is no greater sign of love than a woman who gulps down her man's hot, creamy load.
• On a diet? Semen is 15 calories per average "serving"! Now, if you chose to burn off those calories with a bit of effort at the time, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
• Need extra oomph? Klara Wagner enjoys several healthy helpings of semen every day and swears by its energizing powers.
• Can't get enough of the good stuff? Ask a man if you can suck his sausage and chances are he'll happily oblige.

Female Ejaculation

Moar info: Squirting.

Women can have orgasms too, but they are much less obvious since there is no external ejaculation. No, not really. In reality, women do not have orgasms at all. If your girlfriend, wife, or rape victim tells you that she had an orgasm, she is lying. In the entire history of the human race, not a single woman has ever had an orgasm. Female orgasms are a myth and a lie created to make men feel better about their "sexual skills" in hopes that feeding a man's ego will result in him buying more stuff for them and rubbing their feet more often.

Gallery

About missing Pics

• 
  You can cook with semen as well!
• 
• 
  The fruits of your labor.
• 
  What sperm looks like IRL. Since they look like tadpoles, this is sure to arouse the furfags who extend their fetish to non-mammals.
• 
  All furries eat cum for breakfast.
• 
  A device for collecting semen

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Cum in action
• 
  Cum like the best.
• 
• 
  Where to apply semen
• 
  Some people collect semen.
• 
  In the USA, semen is drunk as a liquor
• 
  THE PIPES, THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT CAPTAIN!
• 
  Cum where it's supposed to be.
• 
  An unenthusiastic cum target.
• 
  Claudia Thorn enjoys wearing complete strangers' cum.
• 
  DO NOT WANT!!!
• 
• 
  this Lady J photo of a cum tribute is a good example of face painting.
• 
  Ass rape aftermath
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  How it's done.
• 
• 
  Now in candy form.
• 
  Willy Wonka sneaks one up on unsuspecting child and mother.

See Also

Semen, Paris Hilton's favorite drink

• Fap
• I Came
• Jizztini
• People Who Love Cum
  • Britney Spears
  • Dakota Fanning's belly button
  • Dorian Thorn
  • Faggots
  • Paris Hilton
• Semen

External Links

• Cooking With Cum Looking for that extra something in your crepes? A whole book dedicated to the fine art of cooking with semen
• Don't Spit, Swallow! - Swallowing hints, advice, and tips.
• Ejaculation Pictures - Free archive of different types of semen expressions and emissions.
• Masturbation Ejaculation Techniques - Different ways to shoot semen with facts, instructions, and pictures.
• Wikipedia:Cummingtonite Cumming rocks
• Come faces
• Sperm for music festival tickets? it's more common than you think
• Great ideas for disposing of manmilk
• Website to make you cum
• How to cook with cum
• Here's an entire CATALOG of sperm donors to choose from!

Cum is part of a series on Sex Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.