Intellectual

An intellectual and his typical reading material. It's not naked, it's nude. And yes, it's art, so shut up.

Common intellectual sighting on one of the most popular intellectual forums. Click to enlarge for full dosage of lulz.

Intellectuals are the people who are either more intelligent than you and know it, more well-educated than you and know it, or just think that they are both, with no basis in fact. But hey, reality is overrated after all.

When they aren't in a Borders Books reading emo poetry ridden with angst, nonchalantly sipping lattes, quoting Chomsky or burning American flags, intellectuals can be found on the internets arguing with anybody who'll give attention to their ideas on politics, technology and religion.

NOTE: If you do not either have a Ph.D or a Mensa membership, you are a pseudointellectual and you can go die in a hole.

Intellectuals are typically particularly high-profile as voices of dissent in times of politically extreme governments. Of course, when the government becomes sufficiently extreme, they become very low profile due to being quite dead.

Intellectuals have the ability to evolve quickly in order to adjust to just about any habitat, from elitist members-only politics forums to snobbish journals characterized with little or no icons. Their traditional breeding grounds, however, are located in the steamy depths of kuro5hin, where they occasionally meet to procreate through massive circle jerks.

Characteristics

Real intellectuals enjoy dressing up in women's underwear, as could have been seen in this photograph, had Freud forgotten to wear pants. He also wants to yiff you.

• Anything they try to explain is always TL;DR
• Types with correct spelling, grammar and punctuation even on IRC and MSN.
• Reluctance to use "LOLOMGUFAG!!" as an argument.
• Has learned all twelve thousand logical fallacies in Latin (like ad hominem) and can deploy them within 45 seconds.
• Wait listed at Harvard.
• Questions claims with no proof behind them.
• Has a high amount of mana.
• Dies after only being hit by troll twice.
• Spends most of his or her talent points under Intellect.
• Reads often.
• Always has proof.

Pseudointellectuals

You may recognize them by their:

• Excessive use of italicizii in order to show off facile knowledge of Frenchese, or whatever.
• Vast amounts of Cut & Paste tchotchke arguing, usually recycled nonsense found on Google or Wikipedia.
• Quoting of Chomsky and other exemplars of angry dyke literature.
• Tries to use the most obstreperous ways to work Dictionary.com's word of the day into casual conversation.
• Incorrectly replaces "stupid" with "ignorant" at every oppurtunity.

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See Also

• Deep Thinker
• LOGIC AND REASON
• Read a book
• SoulPancake
• Trying too hard