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Justin Bieber: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|I feel like the [[Kurt Cobain]] of my generation, but [[BAWW| people just don't understand me]].|Justin Bieber|Well then, [[Shotgun Mouthwash|you know what to do]].}} | {{quote|I feel like the [[Kurt Cobain]] of my generation, but [[BAWW| people just don't understand me]].|Justin Bieber|Well then, [[Shotgun Mouthwash|you know what to do]].}} | ||
'''Justin Bieber''' is a drug-addicted, [http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/singers/justin-bieber-net-worth/ ultra-rich] [[lesbian]] [[wigger]] [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/15/justin-bieber-owes-germany-monkey_n_4280837.html animal-abandoning] "musician" from [[Canæda]] who somehow remains the wet dream of [[12 year old girl|12-year-old girls]] across the world. Having gained YouTube fame at 14, now | '''Justin Bieber''' is a drug-addicted, [http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/singers/justin-bieber-net-worth/ ultra-rich] [[lesbian]] [[wigger]] [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/15/justin-bieber-owes-germany-monkey_n_4280837.html animal-abandoning] "musician" from [[Canæda]] who somehow remains the wet dream of [[12 year old girl|12-year-old girls]] across the world. Having gained YouTube fame at 14, now a {{age|1994|03|01}}-year old, he is following the prescribed formula of using drugs and alcohol, being busted for drag racing, vandalism, and general douchebaggery, is an arrogant prick and wants to be black so badly he is covering every inch of of his baby white skin with tattoos. [http://neerizzle.hubpages.com/_joinprofile/hub/Why-is-Justin-Bieber-Famous Why The Hell is Justin Bieber Famous Anyways?] | ||
The occasional [[christfag]] is also a drama queen diva whose [http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/sydney-confidential/justin-bieber-denies-kochie-claims-he-swore-at-floor-manager-on-sunrise/story-e6frewz0-1225872198833 already acting like she's Whitney Houston]. Her hobbies include [[Twitter]], pissing in buckets, being the quintessence of [[Gay|awesome]], [[Twatter]], being [[LittleCloud|sexually confused]], [[shitter]], not knowing what "[[German]]" means, relying on her fans to declare war on people who beat her on awards, moar [[Twitter]] and making ''Protest The Hero'' angry that she became more famous than they are. And [[Twitter]], might we add. | The occasional [[christfag]] is also a drama queen diva whose [http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/sydney-confidential/justin-bieber-denies-kochie-claims-he-swore-at-floor-manager-on-sunrise/story-e6frewz0-1225872198833 already acting like she's Whitney Houston]. Her hobbies include [[Twitter]], pissing in buckets, being the quintessence of [[Gay|awesome]], [[Twatter]], being [[LittleCloud|sexually confused]], [[shitter]], not knowing what "[[German]]" means, relying on her fans to declare war on people who beat her on awards, moar [[Twitter]] and making ''Protest The Hero'' angry that she became more famous than they are. And [[Twitter]], might we add. |
Revision as of 05:19, 8 June 2022
Justin Bieber = infected with GOTIS You can help by not giving her any attention.
|
—Justin Bieber, Well then, you know what to do. |
Justin Bieber is a drug-addicted, ultra-rich lesbian wigger animal-abandoning "musician" from Canæda who somehow remains the wet dream of 12-year-old girls across the world. Having gained YouTube fame at 14, now a 30-year old, he is following the prescribed formula of using drugs and alcohol, being busted for drag racing, vandalism, and general douchebaggery, is an arrogant prick and wants to be black so badly he is covering every inch of of his baby white skin with tattoos. Why The Hell is Justin Bieber Famous Anyways?
The occasional christfag is also a drama queen diva whose already acting like she's Whitney Houston. Her hobbies include Twitter, pissing in buckets, being the quintessence of awesome, Twatter, being sexually confused, shitter, not knowing what "German" means, relying on her fans to declare war on people who beat her on awards, moar Twitter and making Protest The Hero angry that she became more famous than they are. And Twitter, might we add.
The lil' bastard was found on Chat Roulette by a talent seeker named Scooter Braun, who, upon discovering that young Beaver couldn't sing for shit (but not wanting to lose that mine of Jew Gold), immediately conceived the perfect, cheapest solution: Autotune (see below). Since then, Beaver is followed by a myriad of horny pre-pubescent girls and pedophiles.
Bieber is also often considered the most romantic singer ever, as she dedicates a lot of songs to girls. Meanwhile, her legions of fangirls -Biebians- are all closeted lesbians or unwittingly bi-curious since they fail to realise that being in love with a shemale makes them 100% gay. But he suffers from explosive retardation disease. a disease where your penis explodes and sprays retard juice on anyone 15 meters near it. The penis regenerated every night, for it next day retard splatter, this gives other people the explosive retardation disease, it is confused with furious retardation disease that is exactly what it sounds like.
Recently, her music video "Baby" has achieved the second most views on YouTube, proving once and for all that humanity is doomed. In addition, Justin Beaver-avoider-who-rather-prefers-small dicks hails from Canada. Seriously, first Celine Dion, then Nickelback, now this? You really fucked us over, Canada. Just for that, we're jacking up prices on our double-headed dildos and banning you from Spotify as punishment. Her "Baby" JewTube video has moar Dislikes than Likes, showing what the general public really thinks about Justine's latest hit song. Still, getting views on Youtube really doesn't mean shit as it's broken beyond belief. The video of the monkey pissing in its own mouth got well over 5 million views. Shit, that monkey has more talent than Bibber or whatever the fuck that faggot's name is.
History
Just like many other 'talented' attention whores who want to get noticed, Justin Bieber's mother decided to create a YouTube channel to whore out her spawn's alleged talents - singing and dancing - and fish for comments. After going viral and becoming Internet famous some big-ass corporate record label A&R Jew (who else?) surfing the web for shota pr0n to fap to, tapped into the zeitgeist (aka Google) and signed the little faggot to Def Jam. While at the facility to sign his record label, she ended up running into black person, who then took Justin Bieber under custody.
To 'legitimize' the hairdo, they teamed him up with IRL famous rap producers and stars to make records and vidyas for per-pubescent teeny-boppers to get their moist little panties bunched over and make their parents fork over wads of jewgold for records, merchandise, concerts and fan club shit.
Recently, shit hit the fan between Justin Bieber and his totally mature fanbase after an incident in which she was mobbed by fangirls at an Australia airport and had his hat stolen. Outraged by the loss of the only thing concealing his horrid haircut, Bieber posted a Tweet demanding that the mob of batshit insane fangirls should try to be less... well batshit insane when meeting him.
Pattie Mallette supported Ytask
Justin Bieber, before being famous has actually joined Ytask, a big pedophile grooming group on Youtube. You can read more about this here.
Patty Bieber, who was posted here a long time ago, is actually Justin Bieber's mom and she has made videos supporting Ytask:
—How to listen to Justin. |
Rehosted because JewTube is gay, hence how Justin Bieber started his career there.
Pattie is actually a huge Christfag and initially pimped out her little girl hoping she would get signed by a Christian music label. She prayed that God would use her girl as a modern Prophet Samuel, a voice to her generation. A youth pastor, perhaps? Or even a singer on a Christian label, she thought?
Sadly (for us) God does not approve of faggotry so she had to settle for dealing with negroes and kikes when a deal with Jesus failed to materialise. Justine is now planning to release a Christmas album in order to torture everyone in the decorated streets plus Generation X with new jolly gay 'jingle bells'-related songs such as "Under the Mistletoe" and "Who the fuck is Alice Shawny?" in hopes of making Big Mama proud of her songs, which effortlessly makes people's brains melt with or without vaguely Christmas related crap.
Expect suicide rates during Xmas season to double up this year. And it will all be Bieber's fault.
Justin Bieber hit puberty
During a deposition in court it can be seen that Justin Bieber finally hit puberty. Either that or he's going trough the toddler's "no"-phase:
Interestingly he gets offended when they ask him about hottie Selena Gomez and starts to do the gay fingerwave. ("Nuh-uh you didn't, bitch!") Apparently he did not take to his agents "justin is straight"-facade and doesn't want to have his chances to score with hot guys blown. In this part, he cries about the whole event like the little boychild he is:
Biebling, honey-buns, its how society functions: You break the law, they have every right to "harass" you, even if you are the princess of pop.
There is, however, hope. Given that the princess of pop changed his wig to a Vanilla Ice-do, it may signal in the end of his career. Let's all hope so. Lets pray.
Justine Bieber Pays Trannies to Fuck Her
Everyone with a brain knew Justin Bieber was gay since he first appeared, but now we have fairly conclusive evidence.
On November 6th, 2013 South American M-t-F transsexual prostitute Gaby Del Campo posted video of her with a sleeping Justin Bieber in a hotel room. She also posted a picture of the cash that Justin paid her to fuck him in the ass on her twitter: https://twitter.com/gabydelcampo . Apparently this is not the first time Justin has been spotted with a tranny. In April 2013, male porn star Alex Torres was on a Toronto radio station and claimed he saw Justin Bieber at a Hollywood party, and he and a famous transsexual porn star known as Vanity went in a room for 45 minutes together:
Justine Bieber and Twitter
Being an international star, Justin Bieber's popularity can be seen on Twitter and other Web 2.0 sites.
The Trending Topics conspiracy
Justin Bieber constantly dominates the twitter "Trending Topics" list, thanks to the fact that (not counting niggers and Brazilians) twitter is entirely populated by 12-16-year-old Bieber fangirls who spend their lives completing Fun140 "surveys" with Justin Bieber's name in them. These surveys, once completed, post back to Twitter in the format "I just took 'lol if u met justin bieber at the mall wat do?' and answered 'hug him and DEMAND A AUTOGRAPH OR KILL HIM <3'," meaning that a vast majority of tweets mentioning Justin Bieber are computer-generated.
The conspiracy against Justine
Recently, the admins of Twitter realized that their current Trending Topic algorithm fails, and decided to re-write the way Twitter calculates which "topics" are "trending." This has caused Team DisBeliebers, led by the gayest twitter user EVER Bieberisafag to convince themselves their existence mattered. They were wrong. So instead of simply computing the most talked about topics on Twitter (which consists of Fun140 Justin Bieber "surveys" and "RTs" from pop stars), the algorithm now computes the newest topics being tweeted the most. Justin Bieber was not pleased to hear that his pedestal as the most tweeted name on Twitter had been removed, and lulz ensued as Bieber accused Twitter of conspiring against him because they "couldn't handle the Bieber."
Bieber's batshit insane fangirls, determined to beat the system, restored Bieber to Twitter fame, to which Bieber responded by saying (in typical Bieber hypocrisy):
—Justin Bieber, responding to his fans' determination to make him look popular on an Internet website. |
What's lulzier, the Jonas Brothers still won the 2011 Shorty Award for best Twitter users. This is of course due to the fact that the Jonas Brothers at least have penises.
The Justine Hate Machine
Many of Justin Bieber's crazy fangirls use Twitter or Tumblr (well try) to ensure that Bieber never finds a girlfriend, despite the fact that he's gay. If, in the event that any woman even dares to pose next to Justin Bieber for a photo or sit near him at an award show, a swarm of angry fangirls across the Internet unleash a shitstorm of even greater epicness than that of Internet Hate Machine itself, bombarding celebrities and even innocent girls with death threats and demands to "LEAVE JUSTIN SINGLE! HE'S MINE!11111111"
But, the real hate comes from that of a black person. Usher (aka Black Hitler) is using JB to wipe out the whites by turning all the young Caucasian females into lesbians. Bieber only hits on the Latin, black and Asian girls in his videos (not in real life), so they [non-white girls] don't need to obsess about Bieber [it's all subliminal] and the white boys now are all hitting on non-whites in real life after watching 'Baby' and over 9,000 other hip hop / rap videos. White girls, they are finding out where Justin is in real life. This is only the beginning of Usher's plan to make Negros the master race in Canada and the United States. Phase II of the Bieber hate machine will occur in 2012, the year all of his fans (now an average of 10 years old) hit puberty and realize they are lesbians. By then Bieber himself will be doing blow with Miley Cyrus while they watch the next tween sensation destroy the rest of what they, Barack Obama, Eminem, and Osama Bin Laden started.
The Controversial Kim Kardashian Caper
One day, Justin Bieber pretended that he was straight and tweeted that he was Kim Kardashian's boyfriend, apparently for the lulz, or at least the Justin Bieber equivalent to lulz. Nonetheless, this was a lie. The biggest Justin Bieber fans decided to send death threats and hate mail to Kim, resulting in a big story. This shows that fans of Justin Beaver want nothing more than hot, wet lulz, and that Justin Bieber's one and only true love is Christofer Drew Ingle.
The "Diustin Biber" Deception
—A retard |
Last Thursday a retarded 16-year-old Biebian from Brazil released a YouTube in response to a dis by Brazilian vlogger named Felipe Neto. Only she couldn't pronounce "Justine Bieber" so it came out as Diustin Biber. Lulz, drama and butthurt ensued and she made the vidya private but resourceful Brazilfags have been busy reuploading it and spamming up twitter making Diustin Biber one of twitter's hottest trending topics globally -much to the confusion of everyone else in the world. Meanwhile tinfoil hatters have been busy cooking up possible explanations to the trend including batshit insanity like: Diustan Biber is a new viral marketing tactic by her label and/or Biebians to keep la Beaver trending on shitter and that Diustan Biber is a gay Brazilian singer inspired by Justine Bieber. What's for sure is that Diustin Biber is now a meme. In Brazil.
Im 12 and what is german?
Last Thursday, Justin was on a New Zealand TV show for an interview here he was asked "Bieber is German for Basketball. True or false?". While we wouldn't expect Bieber to know this, we did expect him to know what the word German means. Maybe it was the Kiwi accent? But then Bieber looks at the host’s card and still doesn't understand the word, saying “We don’t say that in America.” Typical to assume that the host is wrong instead of admitting ignorance.
After the lulz at Bieber’s lack of knowledge, JB claimed on Twitter that he thought the host said “Jewman”, although that doesn't explain why he couldn't read it on the cue card. This proves that Justin hates Jews, blacks and Germans, which makes him Super Hitler. In another twit post, Justin confirmed that he is a secret satanist and absolutely enjoys being penetrated by his mother's strap on dildo. She slowly slides in and out and makes him eat the chocolate.
Justin Bieber: The Movies
Bieber released two movie of himself documenting a tour and his rise to fame.
—Justin Bieber to his Jew Creed. |
The first, "Never Say Never," came out in 2011 and its title refers to the world's ongoing hopes he will become an hero. It made $100 fucking million at the box office, and in real money, not Canadian money. IMDB rating: 1.4
He then released a second movie in 2013, "Believe (that I'm Straight)", that was a big fucking piss bucket of fail, grossing a fantastic $6 million at the box office and being universally slammed by critics. One critic summed up his immense musical talent: "Most of those songs are about how much he wants to be your boyfriend. The work is hard, given that there are a limited number of words that rhyme with 'girl.' Squirrel. Hurl." Which is what happened to anyone who saw this. IMDB rating: 1.6
Beliebers
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One of her lezbo fangirls trying raep her. Not that anyone cared.
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The first thing they do when they open Photoshop. Now punch it!
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It's like this all day long for his fangirls, only with music.
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Now she'll love Justin Bieber forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Some like him for his holocaust denials he has never said
Trolling Beliebers
Beliebers are notoriously easy to troll. Justin Bieber has brainwashed 90% of the female tween market to make them think that he would do anything for his female fans, when in actuality he prefers Brazilian trannies. The following list provides some obvious ways to troll fans.
Click to expand list of PROTIPS.[+]
The easiest and best:
- 1. Give a link to the Offended page here and claim it's a Justin bieber fan page.
- 2. Shit talk and flood his chat room with offensive messages and you can add shock pictures too with it. (I recommend you add lemonparty, or even better, add tubgirl)
- 3. ???
- 4. PROFIT!!!
Want moar? Here is a [Handy list of stupid shit Justin Bieber has done - Click here!]
List of some of the stupid shit Justin Bieber has done, including to his fans: - vandalized his neighbors house with eggs, - threatening to kill the same neighbor, and spitting on him, (which is a REALLY cowardly punk move)(there is a witness to the spitting, and the neighbor kept the spit for evidence) - but the cops let Justin off with no charge - and Justin has a habit of spitting on people: he also spit on a lady at the gym, a DJ, and he spit on his own fans from the balcony of a Toronto hotel - and then laughed at his fans after doing this - there are photos of him doing this - driven recklessly and dangerously around his neighborhood at high speeds of 100 mph - trying to smuggle a monkey through customs in Germany, then abandoning it and failing to pay for its care. He had his people email the shelter to let them know he would not be coming back for the monkey. And yet he hired a helicopter to carry his other monkey to meet him - using marijuana and cocaine - threatening to kill people - getting kicked out of Casablanca Palace Hotel for bringing prostitutes into his room - spray painting many walls in several cities (without permission - which is a crime) (in Brazil and Colombia) - his bodyguards have assaulted too many photographers and fans to count. His bodyguards have been charged by police for this - Bieber is also reported to have sent his body guards to assault people - Bieber himself has assaulted photographers multiple times, including kicking them. He also hit one with his car and left the scene - he walked on and 'defiled' two Argentine flags while on stage - not showing up for appearances that fans paid hundreds of dollars for - REPEATEDLY showing up VERY late for concerts - up to three hours late, causing his young fans to be out VERY late on school nights, and in one case, have to choose between missing his performance or missing the last train home - peeing in a mop bucket in a New York restaurant and shouting "F--k Bill Clinton!" and spraying a photo of the former president with cleaning fluid - drinking alcohol underage - one Chicago nightclub owner was charged $1,000 because of Justin and his friends - he asked his fans to commit a crime by sending him (stolen) footage of UFC fights - yelling swear words on a plane in front of a mom and her 2 year old child - throwing up on stage during a concert - he was carried on the shoulders of two bodyguards up the Great Wall of China - he kept a pilot and private plane waiting for him for 8 hours - showed up at SNL in Feb with 20 slaves, er, assistants - one to hold a slice of pizza in case he gets hungry, and another to hold his coke - in June he was permabanned (for life) from a Las Vegas indoor skydiving facility after his crew showed up minutes before closing and then trashed the bathrooms and didn't pay his $1,600 bill - in Brazil he attempted to take two prostitutes back to his hotel following a visit to a brothel (but he did pay them $1,200 each) - in November, he was 'forced to sign' a contract banning him from wild behaviour at a New Zealand hotel. He was banned from bringing girls back to his £1,000-a-night suite and restricted from eating with other guests in the posh banquet room in a bid to prevent any controversy - Oct 18, 2010 - he's kicked out of a B.C. laser tag arena after being accused of assaulting a 12 year old boy and causing him injury. Justin was said to be angry because he was 'heavily targeted' - Feb 16, 2011 - When asked about his opposition to abortion, in the case of rape causing pregnancy he says: "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason." - Feb 26, 2011: Justin Bieber was rude to fans at the St. Regis Hotel in Orange County - March 1, 2011: Justin attacks a female fan with a camera who is recording him - Oct 26, 2011 - is pulled over after cutting off a highway patrol officer - While filming CSI, he locked one of the producers in a closet, and he put his fist through a cake that was on the actors' table - he has been stopped multiple times by cops for unsafe turns, and for reckless driving, speeding, and for driving with expired registration - Mar 4, 2013: Bieber is two hours late to his concert in Dubai. Reports later claim the delay was because Bieber refused to stop playing video games - Mar 6, 2013: he goes to a fancy restaurant wearing a gas mask after earlier in the day having a twitter meltdown and saying he's a good person and only god can judge him - Mar 8, 2013: Bieber attacks a photographer outside his London hotel. He leaps out of a vehicle, screaming "I'll f---ing beat the f--- out of you," while his bodyguard holds him back - Mar 30, 2013: He is banned from a Vienna nightclub after his bodyguards smash cameras, destroy cell phones and even grope some of the young female fans who allegedly left the club in tears - Apr 24, 2013, Bieber arrived six hours late to a photo shoot in Copenhagen for Elizabeth Arden. The previous weekend, he showed up 90 minutes late for his own concert because he couldn't stop playing ping-pong! - May 22, 2013: Reports surface of a $5 million confidentiality waiver Bieber forces all houseguests sign. ... the document states that any shared details of their time at Bieber's mansion will result in the hefty penalty, and seems to try to protect him from activities that could lead to "minor injuries to catastrophic injuries, including death." - May 23, 2013: Jon Bon Jovi slams Bieber for showing up late to concerts. "Do it enough times and shame on you. Then it just becomes a cliché. It's really not cool — you're an a------. Go to f---ing work!" - in Mar 2012 Bieber tweets a fake phone number that is missing one digit and asks his fans to 'call him' - several people receive over a thousand calls at all hours of the day and night and threaten to sue him - Mark Wahlberg (through the press) tells Bieber to 'behave himself' after his group get into a brawl at a Hamptons nightclub - he "sicced his crazed Twitter acolytes on The Black Keys’ drummer - at The Palms Casino Resort on September 14, 2013, Bieber was caught on video stealing a bicycle (and getting caught by security very quickly) Feel free to expand this list
#BaldForBieber
- See also: #Cut4Bieber
During October 26th of 2012, 4chan organised possibly one of the greatest trolling incidents of the century. It seems like recently 4-chan have been up to something actually useful for once. The essence of this epic troll can be summed up with one image:
The website when the news was first shat from the arse from 4chan. Fangirls creamed their pants as they took action from shaving their heads.
The website after a few hours of false Beiber faggottry. As a result, 4chan would frame 9gag for this controversy and people would actually believe it.
Results of successful trolling
—Do go on... |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Unbanning yourself from Justin Bieber chats
To unban yourself from Justin Bieber chats, right click on chat window, select settings, click on folder, move the slider to the left, confirm, then reset your modem or use proxy. Happy trolling!
Defy the Banhammer:
- 1. Follow above instructions.
- 2. Use a proxy, make sure the IP is unique to previous bans.
- 3. For XP/Vista/Win7: Go to %Appdata%\Macromedia\Flash Player\macromedia.com\support\flashplayer\sys\#www.xatech.com
- 4. Two options: Delete this folder, or open the file in notepad and add this onto the end.
- @Y
(Copy line) then save. Should resemble:
¿ NTCSO � �www.xatech.com/settings �allow� �always� �klimit @Y
- 5. It may be a good idea to clear browser history too.
- 6. Reconnect. If everything works right, this will get you back into the JB chat. It can even get past being "banished"
- 7. Recount undermining the banhammer for lulz. If banned, repeat.
- 8. Requires a bit of persistence.
Controversy
Some argue that this is just another cynical, lame marketing ploy by the money grubbing Jews who run the music business to sell sex to underage girls and that the overt sexuality in Bieber's 'music', videos and carefully crafted image is totally inappropriate for impressionable teens who shouldn't be thinking about stuff like Canada's History until they at least reach puberty. Meanwhile, black people are butthurt that white people are perpetuating the rape of their cultural heritage as they've been doing since Elvis Presley. That is to say, no worse than anything else white people do anyway. Other than the fact that Justin Beaver pretends to have a penis in his videos, and does a very good job at it. PS: He is the most faggot person ever existed, and he should die in the black flames of anti-fag hell.. just sayin'.
Previous Video | Next Video |
Justin Bieber Trolling
Bieber gets respect from the music industry
As you can see, the music industry knows talent when they see it.
When Beliebers Go Bad: Bottles and Bombs
Beevers on Between Two Ferns
For your enjoyment, the Biebs also took time out from his busy schedule public meltdown to get raeped on Between Two Ferns.
JB is a cunt
On 18 March 2010, Justin Beaver visited London, only to find a huge crowd of retarded fangirls waiting for him. Somewhere in this crowd was this Facepunch forum member [1] waiting eagerly to see Justin. On a piece of paper he wrote Justin... Cunt!, to piss Justin off. He showed him this paper, but got no response at first. Eventually Justin saw it, and since he agrees on being a cunt, he signed it. But the fangirls saw this too. Massive butthurt was caused, since many of them didn't get his sexy autograph, and the guy had to run since the prepubescent girls wanted to hurt him. In the event he has injured his hand. In this video, you can see the paper being signed in the beginning. Notice the huge amount of pissed girls when he was leaving at the end of the video.
—Justine Bieber being a fucking dumbass rapper |
BREAKING NEWS - JUSTIN BIEBER IS A PEDOPHILE!!!!
JUSTINE IS A DADDY?! NO FUCKING WAY
Special News Bulletin: WHAA? JUSTIN GOT MOLESTED BY AN OLDER FAN AND SHE NAO DEMANDS THAT HE PAYS CHILD SUPPORT FOR THE BABY THAT COULD BE HIS? WHAT'S THIS, THE MAURY SHOW? |
Moar info: Mariah Yeater.
Recently a scandal broke out when a pedo, cleverly disguised as one of Justine's fans, claimed that last summer Bieber met up with her in the backstage toilet (lol George Michael) during one of his concerts and there made violent dirty little no nos that no devout christian would ever do without the Pope's sacred seal of approval-- which reportedly lasted exactly 30 seconds. Now the MySpace mugger is "pursuing a modest and rightful claim" by accusing poor Bieber that her child is indeed her his spawn and that he'll have to pay for child support OR ELSE in a very modest manner. The very thought that Justin successfully procreated is impossible because that would mean that:
- Justin Bieber reached puberty.
- Justin Bieber has a penis.
- Justin is NOT a lesbian in hiding.
- If Bieber could get laid then so can you, which is also impossible.
- At one point in his life, Justin Bieber got some pussy, while you still haven't. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
—Bieber, surpisingly not giving a fuck. |
—Justin Bieber, ever the drama queen. |
—OH TEH IRONY |
—Especially not that crazy hoe that insists that I'm her baby oooohs daddy over there. |
Of course, this enraged Bieber's personal army of fangirls (who didn't get the chance to pork him themselves) for having their idol's squeaky clean image smashed by a 20 year old something who seems to be pretty cool about the possibility of going to prison for deflowering Justin's tender beaver at such a young age. They acted surprisingly mature at the situation and demanded direct explainations from the pedo in question in a very calm and polite manner. They also requested that Yeater should fuck off and die for being such a wonderful person.
—Brace yourselves. This is only gonna get worse. |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Bieber fans (or Beliebers) are also considering if they should forgive Justin if all of this chaos turns out to be true. But ONLY if it's proven to be false.
—Someone need a better hobby. And a real religion. |
One thing is for sure. If Bieber does in fact turn out to be the father of the child, considering how much the boring twat preached about how sex before marriage is totally not cool in every one of his concerts, Justine's dectractors will have a field trip with these events and will definitely go all medieval on her sparkly transgender ass. Too bad this will definitely not be for realz, considering Yeater's claims sound too much like a summary of a typical JustinxOC fanfic. And that she already tried to do the same gig with her ex-boyfriend and got bitchslapped for her efforts. Chances that this story is the real deal are 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%. Unfortunately.
Justine's failed trolling
During October, Bieber decided she wanted even moar girls to view her upcoming music video with Nicki Minaj. Due to her fanbase already at its highest, Bieber decided she must resort to more evil doing in order to gain even more video hits!!! *gasp*. Bieber with her team of Jewish eggheads and serial rapists, decided the only way he could get moar views, was to make people think they're WEREN'T going to be listening to 3 and a half minutes of audio buttsecks.
Bieber decided to pretend that he had his personal computer stolen, and even made her fans believe this by posting about it himself. Causing major butthurt in the Belieber fan base and media frenzy, Bieber sat in his fancy chair with a big ol' grin on his face. HOWEVER, much to the backfire of Bieber's trickery, other trolls decided to use this opportunity to spread around an alleged 'NOODZ' pic of Bieber.
Bieber was surely saddened by this, as she had now dug herself into a ditch :( Meanwhile, in the city of fangirls, major flood warnings were issued due and sales in cucumbers skyrocketed. Bieber's dumb attempt at trolling had surely backfired on him and now people thought they were getting a load of Bieber peen. However, simple observational science will show you that Bieber clearly lacks a penis, how insensitive.
SPOILER ALERT!
Using a fake account, Justine pretended to be the person who allegedly stole his computer (original much), and posted numerous tweets threatening to expose Bieber. Amazingly, no-one thought to track the IP address, so huh. Anywayz, the 'thief' (Justine) threatened to post an exposing video of Bieber, which everyone assumed to be porn, tst tst. Moms across the globe became enraged at the thought of their darling ten year old daughters getting an eyeful of wang, but soon became lured to the wang of the almighty lesbian themselves.
The whole fiasco ended up being a imbecilic way for Justine to promote her shit music video, much to the disappointment of the Belieber fanbase, who just continued sucking off their Bieber blow up dolls with tears rolling down their face. Bieber gained nothing except potential embarrassment from the whole scenario, so no profit was earned.
Baby baby song stolen from Asians
Given to us by a weeaboo informer wearing a raincoat and chainsmoking in a garage.
Death of Justin Bieber
On July 4th 2010 Justin Bieber died in an horrific car accident while driving stoned and drunk on tour in Texas. Thanks to Anon anyone attempting to view a Justine Bieber vidya on YouTube was informed that Justine had died and they should check CNN for details. In addition, Biebians were also redirected to pr0n sites and advised to delete System32 to deal with their grief. The Twitterverse went nuts and Justine's ghost was forced to deny the rumour [2].
It didn't take long for Justine to die again, this time dying of chlamydia after attending an homosexual tween orgy.
After rising from the dead shortly afterwards, he died again in late September 2010 during a 113º heatwave in helLA when his mother left him in the car without the windows cracked when she went shopping. And after rising yet again in 2012, Justin went for a stroll and got killed by David Caruso's team simply for being a massive faggot.
His dick
In a cocaine fueled rush, Canadian pop-sensation Justin Bieber decided to show off his pale dick to the entire world.
Gallery
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Mother Fucking Owned Faggot
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A glimpse of the pretty cool guy who shot the faggot.
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Poor gay...
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Even the news mistake him for a girl.
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Looking totally straight and intelligent there Justin.
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Lesbo chicks dig Justine.
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She finally found herself a man. Too bad it's a nigger.
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u jelly ladies?
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Even Google thinks Justine is an ugly, stupid, girly gay baby.
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It gave me a pity...
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If Justin Bieber was a nigger
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Heeere's Justin!
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Justin and his fans. Look how happy they are for being at the presence of their messiah.
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A leaked photo of Justine who's about to comb her god awful hair.
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:(
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All grown up yet still adorable.
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Justin Bieber - Tattooing Without A License
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Now we know that both Maywheater joins him...
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Clearly anticipating his meeting with Bubba
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BELIEBE!!
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News just in: Bieber's a Jew!
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Justin Bieber undisguised
See also
- Almost rapped
- Beastie Boys
- Bieberisafag
- Bill Kaulitz
- Britney Spears
- cut4bieber
- Drake
- Eminem
- Lesbian
- EricDouglace
- Faggot
- Greyson Chance
- Internet Celebrity
- Jared Milton
- Jonas Brothers
- Justin Bieber: A boy forever
- Mandaswaggie
- Mariah Yeater "He's my babydaddy!"
- Miley Cyrus
- NeverShoutNever!
- Pedophilia
- SEND JUSTIN BIEBER TO NORTH KOREA (fgt won't go cuz Justin Bieber Hates Koreans)
- Ytask
Don't EVAR See
External Links
- get some fappable videos for trolling groups in the favorites section
- posting clips of content found here in the video response section of justin bieber baby causes his male fans to jizz uncontrollably and his female fans to have an overwhelming urge to finger themselves
- A true account of Justin Bieber's last date with Selena Gomez
- Fan Site
- OMG ON TWITTER!! <3
- OMG ON YOUTUBE!! <3
- OMG ON YOUTUBE AGAIN!! <3
- OMG ON MYSPACE!! <3
- OMG ON FACEBOOK!! <3
- Fansite
- Chat room
- Lesbians that look like Justin Bieber
- Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber Facebook
- Justine's Bio at manager Scooter Braun's site
- Scooter's twitter where you can see man/boy love in 140 characters or less
- Justine gets kicked underage b& from an r-rated movie, then complains cause it's not Chuck E Cheese.
- How many Justine Biebers could you take in a fight?
- another fan chat. STILL FRESH!!!11
- Engadget shows its support for faggotry
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Featured article March 2 & 3, 2012 | ||
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Justin Bieber | Succeeded by Wales |
Featured article July 12 & July 13, 2013 | ||
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